#[ Yes i made PLENTY MORE ICONS FOR MY BOI ]

[jamespotterismydaddy]

Lord Husband (Chapter 5)

cregan x reader

word count: 1,606 words

series masterlist

A private carriage. You thank the gods for small victories. Being locked in a small box for a month with nobody but Cregan Stark for company would’ve been the thing that pushed you over the edge of insanity. Or, you likely would have killed him.

Perhaps it was more his safety they are concerned over rather than my comfort. You think to yourself.

The preparations for your departure have been immensely extravagant and your mother has already commissioned ten new dresses and five nightgowns just to tie you over until the royal family flies in for the wedding. You’ll spend another whole month courting Cregan (in Winterfell this time) before the ceremony and you don’t know if you want the spectacle to be drawn out more to prolong your unmarried freedom or if you just want it to be over with.

You ignore the thoughts as you make your way down to the courtyard with Baela and Rhaena on each arm and Ser Robert trailing after you.

“I’m going to miss you awfully.” Rhaena says sentimentally. 

“You’ll have to write to me with every bit of court gossip. Gods know that the boys won’t do a very good job at keeping me filled in.” You roll your eyes dramatically, trying to keep it all lighthearted.

“You’ll write to us plenty as well, tell us all about the joys of marriage.” Baela says with a little smirk.

“I hardly believe there’ll be many joys to rave about.” You say with a scoff.

“I wouldn’t be so sure. From what i’ve heard, northern men are very good with… their tongues.” The elder twin says scandalously. You think you hear Ser Robert choke on water from behind you.

“Baela!” Rhaena scolds but she giggles too.

“I don’t want his tongue anywhere near me.” You say as you shoot her a glare.

“Then you are as dumb as you are pretty.” You roll your eyes at this.

“His assumed skills don’t matter if I do not like him.” You say primly.

“You don’t have to like him to appreciate the look of him.” Baela says as she lifts a hand to inspect her nails.

“I agree. You know what they say about men with large hands…” Rhaena trails off and you glare at her as well.

“Do not team up against me.” You say.

“We are only trying to help you to look on the bright side. You’ll be with him for the rest of your lives.” Rhaena says softly. It’s a thought that you don’t really want to think about.

“Perhaps after I give him a son, we will become estranged and he will allow me to retire to Dragonstone.” You reply wistfully. The twins exchange a look.

“And what of your son?” 

You sigh and say, “Any child I have will be his, not mine.”

“But they will also be Valyrians. They could be dragonriders. They will need a Valyrian to teach them.” Baela says. The idea of a child with a dragon, not knowing its history, not knowing how to care for it, is a sad thought.

“Motherhood is as noble a path as any.” Rhaena says, in an attempt to make you feel better.

“Not if it’s forced.”

There is an awkward silence after that and you feel bad, being the one who caused it. Your closest friends, your sisters, they only wanted to comfort you, to make you excited about the journey and you’ve made them feel bad for trying.

“I do quite like some of the dresses her Grace commissioned for me, though.” You say with a little grin and both of the girls light up.

“Oh yes, they’re all so beautiful. I don't know if I could even pick a favourite.” Rhaena gushes.

“I can.” Baela says. “The deep maroon velvet one. Ugh, the sleeves on it are to die for. It’s far too hot to be wearing such fashion in King’s Landing. We’d be sweltering.” Baela pouts a little at that but then grins. “You’ll be the icon of the North when it comes to gowns.”

“I intend to be the icon of the North when it comes to everything.” You say with a faux level of superiority as you come around to the stairs that go down to the courtyard.

There are many nobles waiting to see you off and Cregan Stark stands right at the front, waiting for you and looking as disgustingly handsome as ever. You ignore him and make your way to the ladies who won’t be accompanying you first, hugging them and trying not to tear up. You hope Cregan is offended by how you brush by him. Then, you reach your siblings. Your goodbyes to your family are short and proper, you’ll see them at the wedding anyhow. Your goodbye with your mother is… tense if nothing else. 

You turn to Cregan at this point, knowing that you need to have a public interaction before you get into your carriage. Even if you enjoy being the centre of attention, you don’t want to waste the creation of gossip if you’re not there to see how it all goes down.

Lord Stark bows deeply. “Princess, I am glad to be accompanying you to your new home.”

“I thank you for your protection on the long trip that lies ahead of us.” You say in response, your voice cordial and dripping with charisma. 

“It is my honour.” He holds out a hand and you take it, allowing him to help you up the steps, into the carriage. Your two handmaidens follow after you. When the door shuts, you sigh, ready for the long trip to be over already.

~~~

As the trip properly starts, you begin to remember how much you hate carriage rides. Short ones are usually fine but you’ve been sitting in the wheeled contraption for hours now and it's making you awfully dizzy.

“Your Grace? Are you well?” Rose, your handmaiden, speaks up. She looks concerned for your state.

“I am fine. I perhaps just need to rest for a moment.” You say, a bit breathlessly, as you shift to lay down, resting your head in your other handmaiden’s lap.

“Are you sure, princess? You look a little green.” Safia speaks up as she begins to stroke your hair.

“It’s this stupid carriage. And the road for seven hells. How can it be so uneven?” You groan and Safia starts to rub your temples.

“It is awful, I know.” She soothes but her kind words don’t help. You just feel more and more nauseous.

“Oh gods.” You groan.

“Princess, are you going to be sick?” Rose asks, and to your dismay, you believe you are about to be sick.

You nod a little and she stands, banging on the roof. “Stop the carriage!” She calls out to the driver.

Before you’re even fully stopped, Rose pushes open the door and Safia helps you to your feet. You stumble out of the carriage and unceremoniously, onto the grass. You fall to your hands and knees, breathing heavily. You thank the gods when you don’t actually throw up and the churning of your stomach begins to slow with the help of a stationary position and fresh air.

“What is happening? Is the princess alright?” 

Oh gods why does he have to see this? You think to yourself as the young Lord Stark’s voice rings through the air.

“The movement of the carriage makes her unwell, my lord.” Safia says.

“Oh of course.” He murmurs and wanders off for a moment. You feel hopeful that he just decided to leave you but he’s back before you know it and kneeling by your side. “Here, eat this.” He says and gives you a gentle smile as he holds out ginger for you.

“Why would I eat tha-” He seems to know that you were going to kick up a fuss so as you are mid-sentence, he puts the piece of ginger in your mouth.

“Chew.” He says simply. Your eyes are wide and you want to refuse but you also don’t necessarily want to spit it out like a spoiled child. So, you apprehensively begin to chew the root, trying not to make a face at the peppery flavour. “Good.” He speaks again. “You’ll feel better now.” You think he looks far too pleased as he stands up in front of you and offers you his hand. You begrudgingly take it and he pulls you up with so much ease that you hardly even had to try and stand.

You brush your skirts off, feeling spiteful even if Cregan just helped you.

He just looked far too smug about it. You assure yourself as you make your way back into your carriage. 

Before the door is closed, your betrothed speaks up, “Perhaps I could join you, princess. Just to make sure you’re feeling better.” The smile he gives you is almost sneaky, as if there is some sort of hidden innuendo in there. You feel that he enjoys toying with you.

“That would be terribly improper.” You speak only loud enough for him to hear.

“Yes, of course.” He says but the cheeky grin never fades, even as he walks to his horse.

“Strange.” Rose says. “Most lords would enjoy the comforts of a carriage themselves.”

“Perhaps it would be an excuse to sneak into here.” Safia says scandalously. 

“Then he shall be perpetually disappointed.” You say as you settle into your seat.

The procession begins to move again and through all the bumps and uneven roads, and as more time passes, the nausea that plagued you never returns. 

taglist(comment to be added): General: @valeskafics @urmomsgirlfriend1 @girlwith-thepearlearring @darylandbethfanforever9 @lovellies @juhdoche @papichulo120627 @watercolorskyy

Lord husband: @feyres-fireheart @possiblyafangirl @hb8301 @marihoneywk @youn-jo @velvet-spider @janelongxox @ninastyless @nyctophilic0vitnir @m-a-s-h-k-a @delicious-xx @weepingfashionwritingplaid @happinessinthebeing @betelrus @joliettes @black-swan-blog27 @mxtokko @valeridarkness @karolalolla @satan-s-ass @synindoodles

[court-jobi]

Hi there, I had silly idea of Bakugou × reader in established relationship where she one day compares him to arcanine from pokemon, I mean look at it, it looks like Bakugou 1:1 lol

Omg anon, I confess... I had to go back in the databanks to remember this Pokemon from my younger years- but boy am I glad I did! This was a joy to write, and made me giggle seeing this ask!

Be prepared for fluff and hilarity ahead, y'all. It's 11PM and I wrote this instead of washing dishes...

Uncanny Resemblance

Words: 1.5k

For my My Hero Academia Masterlist, check it out here!

Read on Ao3

Placing the ice cube tray back in the freezer, you grimace over the lack of coolant coming from the top exhaust fan in your fridge. 

“Ugh, this is gonna be a pain when that heatwave comes,” you sigh with preemptive regret, “Really don’t wanna lose all this chicken in here…”

“Who cares about dumb chicken,” Kaminari pipes up from behind you, “What about the ice pops??”

You scoff good naturedly- Bakugou’s brand of sarcasm occasionally comes out of your mouth instead of his, despite your goal to be the more palatable half of your partnership.

“Those are for when my blood sugar crashes, darling– it’s not your personal stash when you come over.” 

Trying not to let too much air out of the tepid freezer, you shut it in favor of adjusting the main fridge’s controls to not suck up too much power. When Bakugou comes back with the new filter and coolant, you’re sure things will chill back up to temp in no time. 

Doing so leaves you plenty of time to putz around the kitchen while Kirishima keeps his particularly talkative company from eating you out of house and home. He’s already two sodas in, and despite your endless hospitality, even poor Eij wants to try and bash some manners into his friend from taking advantage. 

“C'mon man, just pick your racer already,” Kiri chides Kaminari to place his attention more on his controller than his appetite.

It’s then that your phone vibrates on the coffee table, drawing Kirishima’s eye.  There lies a small, yellowish icon beside the chat name ‘Backpack’, which he snidely recognizes as your nickname for Bakugou. 

“Hey, uh, doll? Your man’s textin’ ya!”

Head back in your fridge drawer, you call out, “Oh, check it for me? He might be asking about the brand we need!”

Drawing the notification down, Kirishima nearly chokes on his own spit at what he finds.

Yes, Bakugou’s asking which of the two labels he’s holding is what you’re in the market for… but in the margins of your texting exchange is a hilarious sight:

Bakugou’s contact photo is none other than a Pokemon. 

It’s here that Kirishima remembers his training; much like in a game of cards, it’s best not to reveal all your tells too quickly when you come across a secret. Don’t get cocky, and move with stealth. 

In a move sneakier than he’d claim to be, he screenshots the full contact detail, and texts it to himself. 

“What’d he say, Kiri?”

Hearing your voice clearer, Kirishima turns back casually and repeats Bakugou’s question, 

“He’s asking if it’s the green or blue label one!” 

“Uhhh, I think it’s green. Let’s go with that.”

“.... He’s askin’ how sure you are.”

Testily, you balk at Kirishima’s relay, “Does he not trust me?! YES, tell him it’s green.”

“... He’s askin’ what percentage sure y~”

“OH MY GOD!!”

Snickering to himself, he finally hands you your phone to ultimately set him straight, blowing up Bakugou’s contact photo on his own cell for further inspection. A second too long looking at this furry, blonde fire type you’ve chosen to represent your sweetheart has Kiri screwing his eyes shut and huffing a little laugh through his nose. 

Kaminari knows a damn good joke when he sees one, and bugs Kirishima to let him in.

“What’s got you crackin’ up?”

Kirishima tilts the phone his friend’s way- who bends over in completely silent laughter just as Kiri had, only more chaotic. It makes Kirishima react all the more, wheezing mutely into his palm to keep himself from letting you know he’d been looking in places he likely shouldn’t.

Kaminari mouths a bad idea. ‘SHOW HIM!!’

‘NO’

‘YES’

‘She’s gonna know!!’

‘Bro. BRO CODE-’ Kaminari mimics thumbs flying across a keyboard, ‘you GOTTA tell him~ He’ll be pissed!’

‘Yeah! THAT’S BAD!’

‘BUT IT’S FUNNY!’

On one hand, the photo contact is too rich of a laugh not to share with Bakugou; but on the other hand, it will all but confirm he went snooping on your phone more than intended. He’d truly hate to violate your trust… but you had asked him to look at it. You gave express permission.

Kiri’s fateful, recurring mistake; he listens to Kaminari regardless of the consequences.

“Ok, y’all are too quiet,” you finally round the kitchen island, “Picking a circuit can’t be that hard– whaaat are you two doing.”

Wearing matching doe-eyed looks, shoulder to shoulder, you take stock of how these two fully-fledged Pro Heroes look like grown-up children on your couch. 

“Oh, Kiri’s just enlightening me to the grand secrets of the universe!” Kaminari chimes back.

Not buying a minute of it but also preserving blissful ignorance, you simply retrieve your phone and squish yourself in between the two boys on the couch for an ounce for control. 

Instead of prying, you merely check into your self-care app and select your daily rewards, a song of ‘don’t ask, don’t ask, don’t ask’ under your breath as you make yourself comfortable.

Under Kaminari’s goofy thumbs up, Kirishima sucks on the edge of his lip and sends a quick little message to Bakugou before settling in for a game. 

–Not five minutes later, you hear the keys all but clash against the door before it opens and shuts with a bang.

“OKAY, WHICH ONE OF YOU BASTARDS DID IT?!”

You three whirl around in a turn befitting a sitcom. Sandwiched between both boys’ shit eating grins, you look alarmed at Bakugou: wondering what you did to be lumped into his ire.

“-not you-” Bakugou pegs you with a placating look to settle your panic, “I mean the MORONS who TOOK YOUR PHONE and made me a FUCKIN’ ARCANINE??”

With the expected vitriol blasting from Bakugou’s equally spiky hair as the Pokemon held up in his phone, Kirishima and Kaminari doubled over laughing. 

Meanwhile, you held a frozen look somewhere between hysterical and nervous.

“H- eh- I’m sorry, what?” you feigned confusion– just for a little bit longer.

Bakugou tabled the plastic bag containing your freezer parts, then sulked over to you, shoving Kaminari’s skull aside roughly so he could lean over the back of the couch in his place and show you himself.

“They set me as a freaking POKEMON as my icon– why don’t you keep this thing locked, huh??”

Swallowing your own chuckle, you peeked back up at him with guilty brows.

“Did they do it?”

“WELL YEAH!” Bakugou charged back brusquely, staring down a howling Kirishima, “WHO ELSE woulda pulled a shitty character like that to be what comes up when I call you?!”

All too sweetly, you tried again,

“And you’re sure they’re the ones who did it?...”

For an exhausted moment, Bakugou isn’t following you– until he does. Your little smirk all but screams it. 

You bat your lashes for good measure while he puts it together: “I mean, the resemblance is uncann-”

“HOW LONG HAVE I BEEN A FREAKING CARTOON IN YOUR PHONE, WOMAN??!”

Playfully defensive, you giggle through your defense, 

“It’s cute! You look like one!”

“I DO NOT!”

“Well it’s not like I have an album of pictures with you actually smiling to put there!”

“FINE THEN-”

Bakugou swipes your phone straight out of your hand, reverts the camera to selfie mode, nearly puts you in a headlock, and waits for you to quit squirming already before giving you a deceptively gentle kiss on the cheek-

At the very moment you look back at the camera with adorable realization, he snaps the photo, then releases you entirely. His grumpy scowl is back in full force, as if he hadn’t just posed for the sweetest photo of your entire relationship.

Tip-tapping for just a few more menus, he places your phone firmly back into your hands. 

“There. And don’t you dare change it. NONE of you.”

You squawk in delight, finding his face has not only been set as your lock screen, but also your home screen and of course- his profile photo. The redhead on your left and blonde on your right both coo their ‘awws’ on either side of you seeing their Bakubro showing an ounce of emotion immortalized for all eternity.

Before you can even rally to soothe your likely embarrassed boyfriend, you follow the sight of said grumbling man as he’s taken the bag’s contents to the freezer. He’s handling it all a bit roughly, but is setting to work himself so you don’t have to fight with it again for the third time today.

It’s a sweet gesture, and makes you only adore your prickly Arcanine who had clearly chosen a protective stance once he came home– never once considering you’d have been the one who did the ill deed against him. The similarities are painfully obvious to everyone in the room… and perhaps that realization was hitting him a bit close to home, even in jest.

You’ll owe Bakugou a playful apology, which you’re sure an indulgent scratch along his back and through his hair will fix.

Never before have you been happier for Kirishima to have chosen you as the little sister to mess with~

[alchely]

My Top Gallavich fics

So, under the advice of the lovely @iangallagherisadeadman I've decided to compile a favorites Gallavich fic list along with a brief rec of each, this won't be a strict top 10 cause I'm not gonna torture myself into excluding some of these stories on some made-up self imposed arbitrary rules.

A bunch of disclaimers: most of these fics are long fics, going from 30k words up, I'm not purposefully excluding shorter fics, I have read plenty of them, but they do have a harder time sticking in my head months after reading.

Most of these fics will be explicit, just read the tags on the fic itself if you want to find out more.

Some of these fics don't have links because the authors chose to lock them and as such make them unlinkable, in order to read them you will need to go through the author's page while you're logged in your AO3 account.

This ended up ballooning out of control and is A LOT longer than ten fics, I apologize in advance :p.

YOU'LL NEVER SEE US AGAIN – spoonfulstar - 231k words

Mickey and Ian have been students at Marceline boarding school their whole lives, as their time at the institute draws toward the end they will start to discover many things, about themselves, about each other and about the world they live in.

THIS FIC! I CRIED! The number of fanfiction that are able to make me cry can be counted on a singular hand, the emotional stakes get higher and higher as the story goes on, leading to a beautiful and bittersweet climax.

This story will make you think and feel deeply about topics you'd never think a shameless fic would delve into.

I am obsessed with Mickey in this fic, he and Ian grow up in an environment that could not be more removed from South Side Chicago and yet his personality is still so recognizably and distinctly Mickey.

The story goes very dark at times, and the fic itself could be considered lengthy, but I assure you the author has made sure to not make you feel it. Those 200k words flowed so well the story did not feel long at all.

HELP ME (TEAR DOWN MY REASON) – wehangout - 34k words

Mickey is a detective and Ian becomes a suspect in an investigation except Mickey already knows him because he's his favorite dancer.

This fic falls under the umbrella of fics where “Mickey is so in love with Ian he does something unbelievably crazy”.

Oooh boy, this fic, it's written in second person (yes you've read that right), tbh out of all fics I've read from this author I think this one was the easiest to adjust mentally to the change in perspective.

I loved Mickey’s “love” in this, just… This raw connection to Ian, the perfect cocktail of feelings, I could read that all day long.

IN ANOTHER WORLD – Roryonic - 249k words

Mickey does not get sent to prison at the end of S5, what happens after and how his presence influences future events (mostly Ian, but also every other Gallagher as well as his own family).

As far as I'm concerned this fic is the closest to a perfect S6 and beyond fix-it. The dialogue writing in this story is so close to canon Shameless that I could picture entire scenes in my head with the actors playing the characters, with their body and personality quirks.

Sometimes I find myself describing this fic like it's the actual show's deleted scenes, “Look, Mickey has his own storyline! And Mandy is here! And the existence of Yevgeni does not become a plot hole!”

There are some Mickey lines in this fic that to me are as canon as if they'd been in the show. Absolutely iconic writing.

I love this author so here's a rec of some of their other longfics, however I highly suggest a lot of their other much shorter stuff as well:

BATTLESHIPS AND LOVE BOATS: Ian and Mickey start their “no strings attached” kind of sex relationship a little later than canon but their attraction and love is just as strong. This is a sort of High School AU that turns into a Prison AU that turns into something else and every shift is just as lovely as the next.

YOU SMELL LIKE LOVE: Ian and Mickey are childhood friends, to the point that the rest of the Gallaghers might as well consider Mickey a seventh brother, mmmh, I sure wonder how things will start to change. Look, I never thought I'd love a childhood friends AU for Gallavich yet here I am, if it's good it's good.

ME AND THE DEVIL: Mickey unconsciously calls for a vengeance demon and Ian Gallagher shows up at his door, because Mickey is a stubborn dumbass they fall in love instead. This story has a lot of twists and turns and the premise is only the very beginning of the story. I LOVED it!

THE INCREASINGLY POOR DECISIONS OF IAN GALLAGHER – Shamelessquestions - 309k words

Ian is a dancer in a club, he accidentally gets involved in the affair of a dangerous mafia don, but the true danger is the attraction he and the mafioso’s right hand Mickey feel for each other as soon as they meet.

What. A. Classic. Truly, an unforgettable story, and I don't mean this in hyperbole, I read this story around… 2016/2017 during my second round in the Shameless fandom, then I read countless other fics in a lot of other fandom and yet this story was the only one that my mind retained from back then, to the point that I could still remember some of the finer details as well as the final plot twists when I came back to reread it.

The plot is constructed beautifully and the original characters (part of the Shamelessquestions fanfiction universe, as they come back time and time again in every one of their AU to fulfill their role in the story) are just as vibrant.

What a story, truly.

Favorite original character in this AU: Sal, his downfall is so satisfying and yet so pitiful to read.

TEENAGERS SCARE THE LIVING SHIT OUT OF ME – Mellow_Yellow - 221k words

Ian finds something scary and calls Mickey for help, even though they had only reconnected that very day after two years of not seeing each other. Together, they get sucked into a situation they weren't at all prepared for. Can they even admit that they're in over their head?

The very beginning of this fic is SO cinematic it grabbed my interest from the very first scene and didn't let go until the end, DO NOT search for spoilers.

The only warning I'll give is that it does deal with a bit of gore and what I'm personally gonna define as slight psychological horror. That's it. Enjoy!

BROKE STRAIGHT BOYS – dancermk - 66k words

Mickey becomes a porn actor for a site where he has to pretend he's straight and not enjoying the copious amount of gay sex he's having on camera, enter Ian, another actor under the same agency and their off the chart physical chemistry.

This story has, needless to say, some really, really good smut. I especially loved their first time together, but every sex scene in this story is seared in my mind.

ETHERIZED AGAINST THE SKY – Snarfle - 213k words

So, I debated whether I should add this fic or not, but I think if there is one fic that will stay in my mind long after this Shameless binge of the past couple of months it's this one, and it should absolutely become one of those fic that everyone in the fandom should read.

After Mickey gets shot by Kash his life takes a completely different direction and he ends up in a group home where, through many difficult times, he turns his life around.

So many iconic moments in this fic, some funny as fuck, some sad, some so absurd that I'm surprised they weren't lifted straight from Shameless, one so gruesome in the very first chapter that I was surprised to have such a visceral feeling from just words on a screen. Yeah, this story will stay with me for a long time.

OLD RULES FOR NEW SIDE PIECES – Shamelessquestions - 217k words

Ian is a Fed and he spots Mickey looking suspicious in an art museum, the mutual attraction is overwhelming, Mickey is not what he seems and Ian is already with someone else, but that's not gonna stop him from pursuing what he and Mickey have.

Putting it as bluntly as I can, this fic made me face the realization that I love cheating fics (if the cheating happens to someone else to bring together the endgame couple). I have already reread this fic twice and I could probably go for another one and not get tired of it, it's that good, and out of all this author's fics it's probably my favorite.

Favorite original characters in this AU: It's a three way tie between Dre, Ivan and Carrie, they're all very captivating in this story.

Other fic from this author I'd recommend cause I really love their style:

LOST IN TRANSLATION: Ian meets a very attractive man while he's in Ukraine who doesn't speak English, a mere language barrier won't stop him from flirting for hours. (adorable)

YOU MAKE ME FEEL HUMAN – Dragona - 66k words

Ian is an assassin, he meets Mickey and thus begins a very sick love story.

To say I'm obsessed with this fic is an understatement, I suggest to everyone to just go read the original author’s own description of the fic, it sets the tone of the story magnificently.

This is an Ian Gallagher that almost resembles Jerome (also played by Cameron in Gotham) but like… a slightly more subdued and saner S1/S2 version of him. I love the layers that get peeled right in front of my eyes, the madness that creeps in a bit more every chapter. I LOVE this story.

DRIED INK - 87k words

This fic combines my two favorite Gallavich-specific tropes, one being ‘Mickey comes back from prison after s6, Ian is with someone else’ and ‘Ian cheats on that someone else for Mickey’

I love the Gallaghers in this and how unsurprised they are at Ian going back to Mickey right away. It's a little jewel of a fic.

Mickey tries SO hard to stop himself and Ian in this but their love is too magnetic, they're irresistible to each other.

THE QUESTION OF NORMAL – blue_newman - 92k words

Ian is a prison counselor, Mickey is in prison, they fall in love and it's beautiful and Ian is incredibly devoted to Mickey in this fic and I fell in love with them both in this.

KINDA RAW – catgrassplantdad - 6k

Quite simply this is my favorite short pwp fic.

Illustrating those “five times” in one night that Mickey references in 11x01.

This fic is so hot, I love it <3

QUATERVOIS – DodgerBear - 51k words

Soldier Mickey gets stationed in the middle of nowhere and meets a farmer called Ian who makes him question everything.

Falling under the same umbrella of “Mickey does something crazy for Ian” fics and this is why it stuck in my mind even if it's been a while since I've read it.

I LOVE this story, their dialogues and everything that happens in it. The setting is lovely and you will fall in love with the description of Ian’s farm.

Other fic by the same author that I also loved:

BURDEN OF PROOF: Cop Mickey gets caught in a legal battle between the two oldest Gallagher brothers, something doesn't feel right though…

THE WORDS HE DOESN'T SAY: Mickey is released before Ian in s10 and has to meet a court-mandated therapist. The story is from the therapist POV and goes AU from the beginning of s10 in that Mickey gets involved back into Yev and Svetlana’s life, the dialogue is, quite obviously, the main attraction of the story and it's really well done. (Also, written in first person).

THE MENAGERIE – CrossMyDNA - 147k words

Ian decides to re-explore his bdsm preferences at The Menagerie where he meets sub extraordinaire Mickey on his very first visit.

Shameless is undoubtedly the fandom that opened my eyes to what bdsm could be back in… approx 2016? When that other popular bdsm fic was still around *ahem*.

So it definitely feels like a sign that coming back into the fandom this fic now exists and is SO GOOD.

Obviously it's very explicit, the smut in this fic is one of the best I've ever read.

The chemistry between Ian and Mickey sizzles off the screen and can absolutely be felt even in moments not of the nsfw variety, absolutely recommended!

MICKEY MILKOVICH’S GUIDE TO FLIRTING – whatwouldmickeydo - 40k words

An s2 “missing moments” between Gallavich, completely canon compliant, all under the pretense that Mickey is following a step by step guide to flirting.

I wish this fic was describing canon moments, not kidding a single bit, I wish I could somehow magically manifest these scenes into existence they're that good and fit that well into canon.

M8TE – gallawitch - 53k words

Omegaverse fic where Ian and Mickey both start using an app and end up matching with each other, even though a connection is made almost instinctively, coming to terms with it with a sound mind will take a bit longer…

Hey,had to have at least one of these on here lol

I love omegaverse and this was everything I wanted from it, couldn't have asked for anything better really <3.

SHACKLED – MyRelapse - 19k words

Ian has a change of heart and he decides that Mickey IS the one he wants, even if he's still in prison, so he keeps in contact and goes through every hoop imaginable to have him back as soon as possible.

Reading this made me so happy like I could burst, love it.

WAITING ON MY OWN TOO LONG – Ride4812 - 266k words

This rec more than any other on this list is what I'm gonna consider self indulgent because it covers the trope I always craved to read in such a satisfying way: Canon AU where Mickey comes back from prison after 8 years, Ian has found someone else but the moment the two meet again they fall back into each other right away.

The series is made up of 4 smaller fics:

One more night

Something more this time

No more lonely nights

Ain't this life so sweet

(I will point out here and nowhere else that the last installment of this series has some segment that probably needed to be re-read a couple more times, but by that point I was too invested, and the quality fluctuates a lot only in certain parts)

The writing style is very direct and to the point, which I love, the smut is very present and written beautifully and most importantly never boring.

Ian is a MESS in this fic and had me Stressed™, mostly cause for some reason I can't handle too much casual depiction of drug abuse and addiction (I know, ironic considering the fandom).

Conflicts and resolutions are never clean cut, they don't necessarily resolve quickly or definitely or the way you probably imagine they should and I find this level of realism very satisfying.

Taking a bit of space here at the end to also rec a couple other Ride4812 fics that I also loved:

COUP DE FOUDRE - A model/photographer AU where Ian and Mickey fall in love the instant they meet and do some crazy things because of that.

HOPE HE MIGHT - A lawyer AU where Ian and Mickey are on opposing sides for the same client, an interesting murder mystery steeped in a religious cult.

Generally I feel like this author is really good at depicting just how unapproachable Mickey can be to anyone that isn't called Ian Gallagher and I eat it up every time.

WHAT THE NIGHT DOES TO THE DAY – andchaos - 9k words

A Gallavich childhood friends AU with a quite original arrangement for the story and the various segments of their lives. Very satisfying read.

RANSOM – BeckyHarvey29 - 112k words

Terry sends his sons to kidnap a Gallagher child to force Frank into paying back the money he owes, unfortunately for him Mickey and his brothers kidnap Ian, and a whole other kind of story unfolds.

Mickey and Ian falling in love in this fic is such a good read. I don't wanna spoil anything of how that or the kidnapping plot goes, since the two are so intertwined. Just know that it will be worth it.

UNDER LOCK AND KEY – Suzy_Queue - 106k words

Ian is assigned the night shift at his new job where he provides spare keys to his fellow college students stuck outside their dorm rooms. To make matters worse his shift coworker is the oh so infamous Mickey Milkovich.

I am magnetized by the way this author writes their pining for each other, their attraction and obsession, how it blooms and unfolds. This fic in particular had me develop a very bad case of tunnel vision, couldn't really turn away until I finished reading it all.

I still haven't read everything this author has to offer, but so far I also loved:

INHUMAN: A mysterious force starts attacking people close to Mickey and it all seems to lead to a mysterious redhead Mickey is oh so coincidentally obsessed with. Very cool paranormal story.

THESE FOOLISH GAMES: Mickey takes over as the boss of the local branch of a trampoline park, where Ian is one of the employees, they annoy each other to no end but what they don't know is that they're secretly texting each other.

IS THERE SOMEWHERE – andchaos - 48k words

Mickey is born with no words on his skin, convinced he's going to live a life of misery cause no one will ever say the words he's destined to hear, he's not a very happy guy. Here comes mute boy Ian who crashes into his life and won't let go.

A classic Soulmate AU, I love that like in a lot of other Gallavich fics their physical connection and compatibility usually comes before their emotional one, it is one aspect that I feel distinguishes their relationship to many other fandom’s ships.

LAST NIGHT AT THE VERONA GRAND HOTEL – the_rat_wins - 27k words

Mickey starts working at an ancient hotel who's supposedly haunted. Mickey doesn't believe in ghost stories, he is much more interested in this one guest he meets at night during his shift.

What a cinematic experience this fic is! Absolutely recommended, the length of it makes it so you can read it in the same time it would take to watch the same story in movie format.

Other fics by the same authors that have impressed me:

FADE THIS ONE TO BLACK: Ian dies of overdose in a pile of snow outside the club, when Mickey finds him there he vows to do anything to get him back.

I don't know why but this fic in particular gives off the vibes of being a pilot for a ya urban fantasy TV series, except we gotta imagine everything that comes after the first episode lol

NO LIE: Ian and Mickey are Soulmates and as such they can't lie to each other. This series is short and sweet and full of feelings, perfect

PARAGRAPHS – pink_ink - 100k words

Ian becomes a reading tutor for ex-convicts, Mickey is among them and Ian starts paying him more and more attention.

This is a story where they meet under very different circumstances and where they've lived slightly different lives compared to canon and yet they're still able to find each other in the end.

Also, sign me up for every fic where Ian has to work just as hard to help Mickey and care for him as the opposite, where Ian's brand of stubbornness is the only way to get through to Mickey.

I'm also adding a couple of ongoing fics, just two to not overwhelm too much.

NONE THE WISER – Loftec - ~218k words

Ian starts visiting Mickey’s diner, it takes a while and yet no time at all to warm up to each other.

I'm captivated by the author's writing style. I love Ian's and Mickey’s relationship. I love how they sort of take their time and yet pine helplessly for each other.

I'm obsessed with the fact that the whole point of the fic doesn't appear until two thirds of the way in cause the diner scenes were just too good to pass up on lol (and I 100% agree with them).

INTRO TO QUANTUM DATING – spoonfulstar - ~563k words

Canon Mickey and Ian meet in University. A college slice of life but drenched in the casual (and not so casual) darkness of canon shameless.

The dark humor in this is fenomenal and left me gasping laughing so many times.

Unexpectedly Ian in this fic is pursuing a linguistics oriented degree, which was what I studied when I tried university, the topics are explained in such an accurate way I have to assume the author studied them themselves and that this story is somewhat a reimagining of their own college experience because if not this would be an absurd amount of accurate research to make.

Reading this fic feels like living through the American college experience from the comfort of my home lol.

As I said before, this author's way of writing does not weight you down even with its length, the story flows perfectly from one scene to the next and before you realize it you've reached the end and you have to accept that 500k words weren't even enough.

Let's end this list with some quick recommendations

WHILE WE'RE MAKING OTHER (PEOPLE'S) PLANS - kyasticlikestea

Mickey is volunteered to organize someone's else's wedding after he managed to salvage his own so well, he'll do it, but his own Southside way.

THIS IS THE ROAD TO RUIN - bricoleur10

Ian and Mickey never go to rob Ned, the story unfolds differently from there. A fix-it with a lot of Gallavich longing , very good smut and some really good dialogue.

HEY, HONEY MINE (I WAS THERE ALL THE TIME) - serveteas

Mickey talks about his crush with Iggy and accidentally pronoun-slips. Short, to the point, funny af and I just really love it. Takes place after their fight at Kash’n Grab in s2.

AGAINST GLASS - AllThatMatters

Ian gets traded from one club to another as a dancer (and more) and ends up in the Milkovich family's club. This is a Mafia!Mickey story with some pretty tight sub-plots, I love his brothers in this.

ONE OF A KIND - fckyeahgallavich

Mickey breaks his finger and it has to be set in the hospital, chaos - of the homophobic kind - ensues. Protective!Ian, I wanna hug Mickey in this.

IAN THE FRIENDLY GHOST - Ravenheart

Ian is haunting an apartment and Mickey starts living in it, Ian is maybe starting to have a crush on him. This isn't angsty!

BLOOD IN, BLEED OUT - brewrosemilk, Whatsastory

Historical AU. Perfectly innocent bystander Ian Gallagher is thrown into the affairs of the Ukrainian Mafia back in 1954, his relationship with Mickey will span decades and he won't remain innocent for long, the mafia can corrupt anyone.

TEENAGE RUNAWAY - sadwhales

Ian comes to live and finish high school with his half siblings on the South Side, he's immediately captivated by a boy sitting under the bleachers, maybe his North Side naivety will catch his attention too.

GARDEN SONG - melwrtiesthings

A glimpse into their lives in their West Side apartment, a lot of initial angst due to a manic episode and then a lot of recovery and healing and learning more about themselves.

[neonscandal]

Okay, if you were asked who are in JJK & BNHA that you can see based on canon that are gay/bi/pan/demi, which characters are they?

For me satoaugu and bakudeku are definitely not straight (yes, I ship them but I don't think they "must be into women only" like a post I just saw). Also, kaminari, jirou, toga, nobara, megumi, kenjaku....

Ah yes, a person with discerning tastes. ✨ While this feels like a sure fire way to get me into some hot water, let's dive right in.

✨🌈 Happy pride to the queer people in my phone 🌈✨

But especially these

Megumi "Only Interested in Compassion" Fushiguro - pansexual (very much choosing to overlook very subtle implications of siscon as a red herring to, of course, further contextualize ItaFushi). See also Gojo and the uncharacteristic Miwa agenda.

Satoru Gojo - Let's be so for real. Man is down astronomical for Suguru but I think there's still evidence/reason to believe he could be ace or demisexual. Can strength be conflated with love?

Kinji Hakari - waving the white flag on this one considering I'm 4 weeks behind and I don't know if there's been further clarification that might swing this verdict one way or another but support Hikari's love regardless of Kirara's gender expression/identity. Also, given current events, it'd be pretty weird if Gege slipped that in out of nowhere.

Kenjaku - 🗣️ IF GIVEN ENOUGH TIME, DO WE NOT ALL BECOME A LIL GAY!? I understand straight people probably don't have such realizations so I'm just going to sit with that reflection.

Nobara Kugisaki - be so for real. I think she had a misplaced crush in her idolization of Saori that made more sense when she left the bumble fuck countryside and could live her best life, out and proud with her muscle mommy girlfriend, Maki. Also explains, a bit, why Saori was ostracized where Nobara may have lacked understanding/context.

Maki - Plenty of gay icons without last names, queen. This one just happens to also be gay.

Eijirou Kirishima is almost so straight that he unintentionally makes a hard U-turn into flirting with queerness. His phrasing is baffling as he tends to pop up in those threads frequently with assumingly unintended innuendos but it is also reminiscent about how no one third wheels harder than a dude's girlfriend when he's with his best friend? I don't know if that makes sense but I'm throwing him in the mix as someone who maybe just needs some time ✨ regardless of the BakuDeku to KiriMina parallels.

Denki Kaminari - This kid has eyes and he uses them, gender be damned. A bi-disaster if I've ever seen one.

Minoru Mineta - IDK if his Deku confession was a translation faux pas or if Mineta, too, has fallen for the male lead's quintessential charm that wins over hearts and minds. While the Council on Bisexuality would fight me on this one... his membership is still pending.

Izuku Midoriya - I have it on good authority that Izuku is Bakusexual. Flustered by girls in the same way that any awkward and bullied kid might when encountering the opposite sex but his heart has always had its allegiance to one person. Whether that makes him gay, demi or even bi, I think it tracks.

Katsuki Bakugo - bi, pan or gay, the consensus is he is Not Straight.

Kyoka Jiro - in Smash, Jiro is a total fujoshi (she just like us fr). If you'll allow submitting MHA Smash into evidence, coupled with the canon main story, I say bi. A girl who knows Momo is stacked but also reasonably wants the attention and company of a Class 1A boy as a girl would at that age.

Himiko Toga - one thing about Toga. She is going to know and live her truth. Confidently bi ✨

Ochaco Uraraka - SPEAKING OF LIVING TRUTHS. She a little late but she has the right spirit.

Bonus, if including Kirishima didn't some how get me booed, I was going to add Yuta Okkotsu too but I thought better of it. 👉🏾👈🏾

[just-a-whumping-racoon-with-wifi]

Hello it’s me, what would mason do with a trans pet anon and I am backkkkk for more. I don’t know why but the combination of fair but strict and very competent at his job(for better or worse) is making me absolutely melt for mason. Anyways back to questions. Would mason ever recommend killing a pet if they were too traumatized by a bad owner to function? Also besides obedience and loyalty, is there anything in particular he values about pets? Also what if there was an owner that gave his pet deliberately confusing orders just so he could punish them?

Masons already made it clear he wants pets to have clear orders but he’s also made it clear that pets job is to please their owner. What if a pet was depressed and didn’t obey? How would he respond to that? Also have you ever thought about role play? No pressure, but I think interacting with mason would be fun.

Can I be🪶 anon please

Hello 🪶 anon!

Mason is so engaging BECAUSE of that!! He's easy to hate but also something enticing about how he thinks..... Thank you so much for the questions i always adore them.

And yes!! I've done role play before and very much enjoyed it!! You can catch me here on tumblr however I like using discord because then I get to use italics and such in chats. I'm #raccoooooooon6286 (yes there are 8 o's idk man i thought it would be funny at the time and now it feels too iconic lmao)

Besides obedience and loyalty, is there anything in particular he values about pets?

"Pets are fantastic companions and have such entertaining personalities and behaviors. Personality is the thing that makes each pet so special and unique - no two are alike. I know there are some trainers out there that require such strict exceptions of behavior there is no room for the pet's own personality and that is borderline abuse. They might be a lower life form but they are still a living being.

"Take Clyde for example. There are times during hikes or just out in public where he lags behind because he's staring at the ground or a tree or something random. He's a good boy though so he never gets lost - but he's not right at my heels like another trainer would demand. And you know what? Every time I go see what he's staring at it reminds me to appreciate the world a little more. Seeing plants or birds or patterns through his eyes is fun and engaging. I mean I can't live my life like that all the time because I'm a human being with responsibilities, but moments of thinking more simply like they do are refreshing."

What if there was an owner that gave his pet deliberately confusing orders just so he could punish them?

"That is abusive," he sighs. "Not technically illegal and not reportable but abusive as hell. Sickening. Some might say "oh at least they're not taking out their issues on other people" but still. Just deal with your own shit instead of tormenting your pet, ya know?"

What if a pet was depressed and didn’t obey? How would he respond to that?

After he established that the disobedience was from depression, his first step would be seeing if there are environmental factors to the depression. Is the pet getting proper sleep, nutrition, exercise? If so then he would recommend "supplements." (He has an affiliate code for the company he recommends lol). They're not technically medication because they don't have to be approved for human use by a testing organization, but they're "based on" research from human medications [aka drugs lol]. Typically he recommends some that are for anxiety, but I'm sure there are plenty out there for depression too. Likely the pet would end up in a bit of a perpetual state of disassociation 😬.

Extra TW for discussion of euthanasia

Would mason ever recommend killing a pet if they were too traumatized by a bad owner to function?

In general, no. If a pet is so traumatized by an owner they can't function and require a high level of care, Mason would advocate for legal action against that owner. Either jail time or having to pay for the pet's full time care. Killing or incapacitate pets is not socially or legally acceptable. nor is euthanasian really. Perhaps if the pet killed someone, but even then Mason would argue there is something else going on in that situation. Again, not because he's a good person, but because he infantilizes pets so much he doesn't believe they are capable of a lot of things and therefore not responsible for their actions.

[ali-anne-undertale-stoof]

Guess who's back? Back again?

Jerry.

Ooh, boy. This chapter turned out longer than I expected. Sorry this took so long, guys! Enjoy!

Second half

Chapter 7: Jerry

It was a relatively clear day in Snowdin. As clear as you're gonna get with the snow everywhere, anyway. Within the hustle and bustle of the town, one could hear children playing in the snow and adults making dark jokes to each other to take their minds off the fact that they aren't able to see the sun. Grillby's was especially busy, as it always is on a Saturday. And a particular skeleton was slowly becoming more and more of a regular there as time went on.

Funnily enough, throughout their entire few weeks of living in Snowdin, Papyrus had never been to Grillby's before. Why? Well...

"SANS!! WHY ARE YOU TAKING ME TO A GREASE HOLE?!?!"

That's why.

"come on, papyrus, i've already told you. there are plenty of nice people there. you might as well get out sometime, right? you can't spend all your time trying to get friends on social media. you gotta find people in real life too."

"BUT WHY AT GRILLBY'S?!?!" Papyrus whined loudly. Sans sighed heavily through his nose. As much as the boys try to keep a balanced relationship, there were times where one of them had to take the "big brother" shoes. And it was apparently Sans' turn today. It made sense, after all. Sans is the older twin, after all, even if it was only by four minutes.

"come on, baby bro." Sans teased. Papyrus' eyes shifted into his iconic googly eyes. Now they're getting somewhere. "you're not gonna let a little bit of grease get in the way of being popular, are you? i thought you were the great papyrus."

"WELL, THE GREAT PAPYRUS HAS STANDARDS!! VERY HIGH ONES, IN FACT!!"

"yeah? well, from what i heard, the great papyrus is willing to overcome any obstacle to get what he wants, including 'disgusting grease holes'. unless... you know..." Sans shrugged smugly. "i heard the rumors wrong."

Papyrus' strange googly eyes bulge out of his head.

"NO, YOU DID NOT HEAR THE RUMORS WRONG!!! I WILL PROVE IT TO YOU THAT I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, CAN OVERCOME ANY OBSTACLE!!!" Stubborn as ever, but now fueled by something else to prove, Papyrus briskly stormed into Grillby's, head held high. Meanwhile, Sans chuckled to himself about his brilliant victory, before casually strolling in after him.

Papyrus wanted to slap Sans in the face. As soon as he stormed in, his nasal cavity was immediately hit with the repungent smell of grease. It made him want to throw up. Can skeletons throw up? Oh, does Papyrus hope they do.

And as expected on a Saturday, it was almost filled to the brim with various families wanting to get brunch for their kids. The chatter was constant, it almost became white noise. However, Papyrus didn't mind this. After all, Sans was right, there are a lot of people he can befriend here! Maybe even show off his really cool muscles to them!

He still wanted to slap Sans in the face, though. Yes. Slap the skeleton next to him. Right across the face.

"ow!"

"WHOOPSY DOOPSY! SORRY, SANS! REFLEX!"

"it's okay, bro." Sans rubbed his sore cheekbone from the impact.

That feeling where you feel bad about something you instantly regret because of your intrusive thoughts... That's the emotion Papyrus just experienced.

"SORRY AGAIN ANYWAY!"

"hey, it's cool. fuhgeddaboudit."

"WHERE ON EARTH DID YOU LEARN THAT ACCENT?"

"where'dja learn yours?"

"TOUCHÈ."

As the brothers walked along to the bar, Papyrus almost tripped over a couple of bags, a couple of kids, and Sans. He gripped onto a table nearby just to stand up straight. And of course Sans was laughing at him, because what else would he do?

"STOP LAUGHING! IT'S NOT MY FAULT THIS PLACE IS BUSY!!!" There were two things Papyrus' foot stomping has succeeded at doing. Making Sans laugh more, and catching the attention of the dog monsters that were sitting at the table. They were in their armor, which helped Papyrus recognise them from the snow boulder incident.

"Bork! Bork!"

"(What is it, Lesser?)"

"Oh, hi, Sans!"

The brothers whipped their heads around. There they were. The entire K9 Unit, staring at them with such interest. They already seem to recognise Sans, and Papyrus too, to an extent. Papyrus swore that he saw them before, but he doesn't exactly remember their faces.

"WOWIE... UM, H-HELLO!!!" Papyrus tried to present a more casual stance, much like his brother. Whether he succeeded or not, Papyrus was unsure.

Dogamy gave a little yelping laugh. "Hey, Sans! This must be your brother!"

Dogaressa followed suit. "(He's a goofy one, isn't he?)"

And Doggo. "Hey, I'm getting this funny vision. He looks still, but I can only see moving things."

Huh. That's weird. Sans checked on his brother, only to find that Papyrus is shaking so hard that he's rattling. Whether he's excited or nervous or both, Sans couldn't tell. Either way, Sans was excited to play hype man.

"yup, this is my baby brother. in the lack of flesh."

Papyrus was pulled out of his trance by sheer outrage. "WHAT?!?!?!"

"(Wait, what?)"

"I thought you said he was your twin brother, Sans."

"oh, trust me. he is. but with the way he's been acting recently, he might as well be my awesomest baby bro ever!"

If that wasn't already humiliating enough, Sans just had to take the opportunity to pinch Papyrus' cheekbones and pat his skull like he was some sort of cat. All this just made Papyrus' eyes bulge out his skull even more.

And the teasing. Oh boy, the teasing!

"he's just my previous baby bro on his way to get some milkies!"

The dogs howled with laughter. Papyrus did not regret slapping Sans anymore.

"SANS, GET OFF OF ME!!! FOUR MINUTES!!! WE ARE SEPARATED BY FOUR!!!! MINUTES!!!!"

"(Oh, don't worry! I'm sure Sans was just having a laugh. Isn't that right, dear?)"

"Yes, that appears to be true, my love."

"(Hey, actually, you appear to be rather energetic. We could use some of that.)"

The teasing was forgotten. "REALLY?"

"(Yeah! Sometimes we like to go out into the woods and play fetch.)"

"sounds fetching." Sans winked.

"SANS!!!" Papyrus scoffed, but the dogs' activities sounded... enticing. He didn't know why he found it enticing, he just did. After all, he's chewed his fair share of sticks as a baby bones. And shredded his stuffed toys. And Sans'. He never actually confessed to Sans about that. He probably still thinks a raccoon did it. Yikes.

Dogamy spoke up. "If you want, you can come along!"

"ME?"

Papyrus looked at Sans for confirmation that this was actually happening. All he got was a nod back. That means... That means...

"OF COURSE!!! BUT I MUST WARN YOU, THE GREAT PAPYRUS HAS NEVER BEEN BEATEN AT FETCH, AND I CERTAINLY WON'T BE BEAT ANY TIME SOON!!!"

"We'll hold you up to that, mister."

"PAPYRUS."

"(Papyrus!)"

The dogs howled in celebration. Papyrus could hardly contain his excitement! He could... He could... "hang out" with a group of friends??!! This is the best day ever!

He didn't notice Sans pulling him away until they were sitting at the counter.

"so, what are ya hankerin' for?"

"SANS, YOU'RE NOT A COWBOY." Papyrus crossed his arms, unimpressed.

Sans just shrugged in response. "yeah, i know, but the accent is fun."

"HMPH. FINE, THEN. I'LL HAVE YOUR FINEST MILK, MR GRILLBY, PLEASE!"

The literal hot head with a cool mind gave a simple nod and wandered into the kitchen.

"HMM... HE DOESN'T TALK MUCH, DOES HE?"

"nah, some other guy talks for him."

"IS HE SHY OR SOMETHING? MAYBE HE NEEDS A GREAT PAPYRUS SPEECH!"

"no... no speeches, please." Sans still hasn't gotten over the last time Papyrus made one of his inspirational speeches. It was mostly bragging, to be blunt. But then again, Sans always found them inspiring. Too bad that other guy didn't.

Grillby worked fast. Soon enough, a fresh glass of milk was placed in front of Papyrus, as well as a plate of complementary fries. Papyrus closely inspected the fries, and Sans just took one.

"WHAT? HEY!"

"what? they're greasy. greasy fries." Sans chomped on another fry.

There was no stopping him. Papyrus just let Sans have the fries. See, even The Great Papyrus knew when to throw in the towel! Or throw a door wide open.

The door flew wide open and didn't close. Who could be rude enough to NOT close the door behind them in a town as cold as this?

There was only one answer.

Jerry.

"Eurgh! This place is filthy!" Said the filthy monster, covered in slime and snot.

Everyone in the vicinity collectively groaned. Everyone except for Papyrus, that is. The newbie was just mostly confused. What was it about this guy that made everyone groan like that, including his brother?

"SANS, WHO IS THAT?"

Sans rolled his eyes and tried to avoid having Jerry in his vision. "a little turd bag, that's 'who's that'."

Papyrus didn't get it. So he just observed.

Jerry swiftly went over to the dogs' table and knocked the cards over, banging the table like some sort of defective drum.

"Waiter! Waiter! Are you going to give me service or not?"

Grillby nonchalantly cleaned a glass. Nobody could see his face, but they can tell he wasn't happy to have to serve this guy. His tense shoulders spoke volumes.

"Waiter! Waiter! Oh my god, what is taking so long?!"

Jerry stormed over to the counter, pushing away two monsters that were carrying their food to their table. He slammed his fist down right next to where Sans is sitting. Sans instinctively flinched and leaned as far away from him as possible.

"Hey, hot head! Are you going to serve me or what?!"

Sans could just see the slime dripping down from the guy from here. He briefly entertained the thought of a skeleton throwing up something other than magic. Is that even possible without a stomach? He didn't know, but he was tempted to see if he could.

Grillby carefully placed the glass down and put on his best "polite customer service" act towards the ill-tempered monster.

"Finally!" Jerry groaned with exaggeration. "By the way, is your 'establishment' fireproof, or are you just barely keeping yourself from burning down the whole place? You don't look like you belong in Snowdin. Better be careful, you might start a forest fire."

Sans had just about enough of this nonsense. "gee, jerry, good question. you know, i've always wondered a little about you myself. are you supposed a squid, or are you just something i had to scrape off the bottom of my shoe? better be careful, you might start a pandemic with that snotty mouth of yours."

Papyrus was absolutely astounded by the sheer amount of sass Sans just gave. And judging by the 'oohs' and 'got hims' from the crowd, it appears that he was justified. Why?

Meanwhile, the flame didn't say anything, but his flames flickered in approval at Sans' comment. However, customer service does come as a priority to the guy. Too bad he couldn't just kick him out without a proper excuse, especially since the Royal Guards are around.

So they're stuck with him. Perfect.

"Oh, great. The skinless freak's back."

"HEY!!!" Papyrus raised his voice. A lack of manners is one thing, but insulting his brother is crossing the line! "I'LL HAVE YOU KNOW, SANS IS THE SECOND BEST SKINLESS FREAK AROUND!"

"Ew, there's two of them?!"

"hey. watch your bigger butt hole, buddy."

"Ugh, fine. I'm sitting as far away from these two as possible."

With that, Jerry stormed over to the other side of the restaurant and placed his mucus-covered body down on the chair in the corner. Just where he belongs.

Papyrus... was very taken aback from that interaction. What is with that guy? He came in here, was rude to the waiter, insulted his brother... He's a piece of work. But maybe... Maybe?

"GOSH... IS HE HAVING A BAD DAY OR SOMETHING?"

"bro, he makes bad days happen." Sans reaches down to grab a fry, but he hesitates. He inspects the fries for any slime that might have dripped into the bowl instead.

"BUT I DON'T GET IT. WHY ELSE WOULD HE GO SO FAR AS TO MAKE OTHERS MISERABLE? WHEN I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, HAVE A BAD DAY, I SMILE AND TRY TO BRING JOY TO OTHER PEOPLE'S LIVES BECAUSE IT CHEERS ME UP!! BUT... I KNOW NOT EVERYONE IS LIKE THAT. PERHAPS HE NEEDS A NEW PERSPECTIVE."

"Nah, man. There's no changing that guy. Jerry's the WORST." A slobby fish-like monster, by the name of Zeeds, spoke up. "Like seriously. The worst. Any redeeming qualities he might have had have been squashed out of him a long time ago. Some people are just downright despicable."

Papyrus slammed his hands on the table, sporting a determined expression. "NO!!! NO ONE IS COMPLETELY BAD!!! EVERYONE SHOULD HAVE THE CHANCE TO MAKE GOOD CHOICES!!! AND I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, AM THE KING OF GOOD CHOICES!!!!" The lanky skeleton climbed onto the table and struck the coolest pose he can muster. Somehow, despite being indoors, his vermilion scarf flapped in the wind. What wind? Delta knows! It's cool!!! And what's even cooler was what Papyrus did next.

"JERRY I-DON'T-KNOW-YOUR-LAST-NAME!!!" He made sure to grab Jerry's attention... by pointing at him like some kind of disgruntled superhero? "I HAVE NOTICED THAT YOU... ARE A COMPLETE WEIRDO!!! AND A JERK, AND YOU'RE TOTALLY GROSS, AND I WOULD PREFER IT IF I NEVER HAVE TO TOUCH YOU WITH A 20 FOOT POLE!!!! BUT I KNOW THAT BENEATH ALL OF THAT GROSSNESS IS A MONSTER WITH THE POTENTIAL TO MAKE GOOD CHOICES AND TURN HIMSELF AROUND!!! SO!!!!"

He leaped off the table in a flourish, landing like a superhero in the middle of the restaurant. As if he wasn't the centre of attention before...

"YOU, JERRY, NEED GUIDANCE!!!! AND WHAT BETTER GUIDANCE THAN THIS DASHING SKELETON RIGHT HERE!?!? THAT'S RIGHT!!! I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, AM OFFERING TO BECOME..."

He slid towards Jerry with a spin. One could get the impression that Papyrus was a theatre kid of some kind.

"YOUR FRIEND!!!"

The room fell silent as guards and regulars alike sat and wondered... What the hell was Papyrus getting himself into? Sans especially should be embarrassed but... Gosh, his brother was just so cool, he couldn't help but stare at him with wide eyes and a large smile.

Jerry, on the other hand, was not interested nor amused. All Papyrus got out of that was a simple, "Okay." And then he got out his phone and started connecting to Grillby's WiFi.

"WELL, THAT SOUNDS LIKE GOOD NEWS TO ME!!!"

Meanwhile, a certain guard dog with a black mask tutted from the large table near the centre of the room.

"Man, that kid is screwed."

The other dogs, even though they hate to admit it, had to agree with Doggo on that one. He was screwed.

--------

There has GOT to be some good in Jerry, Papyrus thought as he walked around in little circles just outside of the library. There just HAS to be! All monsters were taught from the moment they learn about souls that monsters were made of love, hope, and compassion. It was even the textbooks, and as Papyrus knows, the textbooks are never wrong! Well, except for this annoying typo he found in Sans' astronomy book, but other than that, it's never wrong! Surely it's not just propaganda... right?

Right! So that meant all monsters have compassion deep down inside! Including Jerry! Jerry, who's... next to a tree, poking a poor antlered kid.

"Watch your antlers! They're bigger than my grandma's crusty toenail!" Jerry screamed at the poor kid, slapping her antlers around willy-nilly.

The poor kid stuttered. "I don't think I needed to know that..."

"Oh my god, and I didn't need to see your snivelling face! Get out of here!"

Papyrus couldn't help but feel bad for the girl. She can't help her antlers! Besides, they weren't even that big! Jerry must have walked into her when he wasn't looking, and then pinned the blame on her! Now, that just won't do! Someone has to step in to help that child! It's a good thing The Great Papyrus was around!

Without hesitation, Papyrus briskly walked over. "HEY, JERRY, FRIEND???"

Jerry reflexively let out a loud groan when he heard Papyrus' voice.

"NOW, THAT JUST WASN'T NICE!!!" He waggled his finger and tutted like a mother. "IT'S NOT HER FAULT FOR HAVING ANTLERS!! JUST LIKE IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT FOR HAVING GROSS WARTS!!!"

The deer girl snickered. Jerry gave him the death glare. Papyrus wasn't deterred, however.

"NOW, WHEN WE SAY SOMETHING WE DIDN'T MEAN, OR WHEN WE MAKE A MISTAKE THAT ENDS UP HURTING ANOTHER PERSON, WE APOLOGISE!! SURELY YOU KNOW HOW TO APOLOGISE, RIGHT? EVERYONE HAS APOLOGISED AT LEAST ONCE IN THEIR LIVES, SO THERE'S NO SHAME IN DOING IT!!! IN FACT, IT CAN REALLY PUT YOU IN SOMEONE'S GOOD GRACES WHEN YOU DO IT CORRECTLY!!! SO TRY IT!!! APOLOGISE TO THE ANTLERED GIRL!!!"

There was only one sentence on Jerry's mind. 'Are you serious?!' But alas, this guy wasn't going to leave unless he actually tried, so...

"Ick... Fine. I'm sorry your antlers are so ugly and huge."

"NOT LIKE THAT!!!"

Jerry had enough. Backhand!!!

Papyrus easily caught it. The antlered girl took this opportunity to run away.

"NOW, THAT JUST WON'T DO!!!" Papyrus cringed at the slime the action got on his glove. Note to self: wash gloves thoroughly. "JERRY, I AM VERY DISAPPOINTED IN YOU!! A REAL APOLOGY CONSISTS OF ADMITTING THAT YOU WERE WRONG, AND A PROMISE TO OWN UP TO YOUR MISTAKE, LIKE APOLOGISING FOR A LOUSY, MEDIOCRE PUZZLE WITH A BETTER, MORE FIERY PUZZLE!!! BUT THIS WAS JUST A BACKHANDED APOLOGY!!! LITERALLY." He was all too glad to let go of Jerry's wrist. "NOW, LET ME WALK YOU THROUGH A PROPER APOLOGY!! FIRST, YOU-"

Jerry groaned loudly. You could almost hear the bile in his throat since it sounded more like he was gargling.

--------

Perhaps Papyrus was wrong about Jerry.

Perhaps he just had the wrong approach towards him.

Perhaps there was more to him than what meets the eye.

And there is only one way to find out!

Papyrus didn't appreciate the woods enough. Usually, when he went into the woods, he was always building snowmen and throwing snowballs at his brother. He doesn't tend to slow down and appreciate the serenity of the landscape. But now... he is! And who better to appreciate it with than the new friend he's trying to get to know?

...Well, okay, there is one other person that Papyrus would prefer to spend time with much more, but that's besides the point. This was about getting to know what's inside of Jerry's soul, after all. Surely, there must be some good deep down inside, right?

"AREN'T THE WOODS SO NICE AT THIS TIME OF YEAR? YOU KNOW, I HEARD WINTER IS ON ITS WAY... ON THE SURFACE, OF COURSE!! NYEH HEH HEH!! IT'S ALWAYS WINTER IN THIS SIDE OF THE UNDERGROUND, AM I RIGHT??" Papyrus glanced at Jerry with a smile. Unfortunately, the squid thing couldn't care less. He was too busy playing a mobile game on his phone to pay attention. Papyrus suppressed a small sigh. Teenagers are hard. Maybe he just had to engage.

"OOH, WHAT ARE YOU PLAYING THERE?" He tries. He really tries.

Jerry just gave a grunt of dismissal. Teenagers.

"IT LOOKS FUN!!! NOT AS FUN AS PUZZLES, OF COURSE, B-BUT IT LOOKS ENTICING!!!" Yeah, lying through your teeth is the way to go, good job, Papyrus!

Jerry didn't catch on to the lie. Because he didn't pay attention at all. Dang it.

Papyrus felt like a twig that was about to snap. "JERRY, PLEASE, I AM TRYING TO ENGAGE WITH YOU HERE!!! WHAT DO YOU LIKE TO DO?!?!"

That got his attention.

"What do I like to do? Play Human Raider Dungeons, that's what I like to do."

"HUMAN RAIDER WHAT WHAT?"

"You're so dense." Jerry groaned. "It's only the top selling MMORPG in the entire underground. You build your monster armies and raid human civilizations. And bonus points, you get to beat up other players while you're at it."

Jerry chuckled sinisterly. "I do love slaying noobs, especially little kids. They get so angry!" He continued with his evil snickering, which Papyrus wasn't... too pleased about. But hey, it's just a video game! It's not like- Oh, and he's trolling kids now and calling them swear words. Why is he like this?

"UM... SO!!!" Papyrus almost put his scarf in his mouth to chew, before he thought of another question. "WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?"

"Am emperor dictator."

"OH... I... SEE? ANYTHING ELSE?"

"Rich enough to make the poor grovel at my feet."

"HOW ORIGINAL." Papyrus snarked. "AND WHAT DO YOU HOPE FOR? YOU KNOW, FOR THE SURFACE WORLD?"

Jerry turned to Papyrus and gave him the most sinister look one could think of. "The complete and total destruction of humanity."

Well... Now Papyrus wants to run and hide! But no! He must stand up and face him! After all, this is someone he's trying to find the good in, despite the difficulty level being REALLY REALLY HIGH!

"WELL... YOU WOULDN'T BE THE FIRST ONE TO SAY THAT?" After all, why would that human hunting policy be in place if not for at least some humans being 'destroyed'? Oh god, this is awful. Papyrus was getting nowhere with this. Well, except the fact that Jerry had warmed up to him enough to open up... That's a start?

--------

Nobody could be that detestable without good reason! After all, how can a baby be born evil? Surely something must have happened to make Jerry this way! At least that's what Papyrus thought to himself as he asked Jerry for a little "playdate" at his house. He even made sure to look forward to it, despite the truth that he really REALLY didn't.

"WOWIE, I CAN'T BELIEVE I'M GOING TO STAY AT A FRIEND'S HOUSE!!!" Papyrus forced himself to act cheerful, but even the second-densest individual can see how much he's straining himself to smile. "I'VE NEVER ACTUALLY DONE THIS BEFORE!! TALK ME THROUGH IT!!!"

Jerry gave Papyrus a side-eyed glance. "You never went to someone else's house before? I'm not surprised."

"THEN YOU MUST HAVE SEEN IT BEFORE, HUH? WELL, NO WORRIES!!" Papyrus whipped out a special handbook. "I SNAGGED A GUIDE ON HOW TO BE A GOOD GUEST FROM THE LIBRARY!!! THIS PLAYDATE WILL BE AN OPTIMAL EXPERIENCE!!! NYEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH!!!!!"

Jerry rolled his eyes and unlocked the door to his house. It's only one of many houses around the back of Snowdin. It's way off the usual path through the Underground, but it's not exactly hidden. The neighbourhood seemed rather cozy, actually.

The house, not so much. The repungent smell of slime and grease filled Papyrus' nasal cavity, and the house itself was a state. Litter and half-eaten food occupied every desk, tabletop, and shelf. He almost wanted to barf. Who was in charge of cleaning around here?! Not to mention the claustrophobic entrance corridor. There were stacks upon stacks of empty boxes, and the cupboard under the nearby stairs was overflowing with random paraphernalia, from weights that were likely never used to pots and pans that should belong in the kitchen, but somehow don't, all the way to straight up GARDEN supplies. They didn't have a garden that would call for that much plant food! It's all SNOW! What plants did they expect to grow in a town that was constantly filled with SNOW?!

Well, one thing's for sure. Papyrus could now justify in his head why Jerry was always so dirty. He almost felt bad for the guy.

He flipped through the guest rulebook.

"Step 1: Compliment the host's home."

Of course...

"WOOOOOOW!" The grossed out skeleton put his hands on his hips and puffed out his chest, like he's playing the part of a proud friend. "YOUR HOME IS... UHH... IT HAS CHARACTER!"

"Mom leaves her stuff everywhere. She doesn't bother to clean up half the time." Jerry said before briskly walking through the door to the right. It appeared to be the living room. Hopefully it was cleaner than whatever... this is.

This was clearly a home of neglect. At least Papyrus is getting somewhere now. And that somewhere would be the living room. Hopefully it was...

Nope. Not even close. He couldn't even tell the difference between sofa, floor and trash. He doesn't know how, but somehow it smelled even worse than before. And the random stuff just piled up EVERYWHERE. Is Jerry's mom a hoarder?

Oh, wait. There she is, sitting on the only armchair that wasn't already covered in trash. She looked a lot like Jerry, except she was bigger, wider and has a pale brownish- purple complexion. Oh, and she has less warts, which is always a plus. Well! No time to delay! Papyrus flipped through his handy handbook.

"Step 2: Shake host's hand and greet them politely."

Well well well, Papyrus thought. Don't mind if I do!

"HELLO!!! YOU MUST BE JERRY'S MOTHER!!!"

Her voice came out rather raspy, but sweet at the same time. "Greetings, young man! Oh, it has been such a long time since we had guests. Apologies for the mess. I've been meaning to organise everything for a while, but, well... There just hasn't been enough space for it all, unfortunately. But enough of that. Where are my manners? My name is Terri. And yes, I'm Jerry's mother."

Her smile was gross, but somewhat endearing. Papyrus didn't know what to think about this. Well... It couldn't hurt to be polite, especially since she is.

"PAPYRUS." He tentatively reached out to shake her hand... It was covered in slime. Yup. Definitely going to have to wash his gloves.

"May I offer you a refreshment?"

Before Papyrus could answer, Terri pressed a button on the armrest and all of a sudden, little wheels sprouted out from the bottom of the armchair. She used the controls to slowly roll across the room, knocking over a lamp and a painting of a painting... of a painting of a painting, and so on. The paintingception didn't stand a chance... Well, that explained the mess, anyway.

When she came back, she was holding a plate full of expired and mouldy food. It made Papyrus want to cringe, but he didn't know what to do. He turned to the guidebook for guidance.

"Step 3: Always accept the host's refreshments."

Life had it out for Papyrus, it seemed. But this book was written by an expert, so he had to comply.

"UM... SURE?" He carefully took the plate and... just stared at the mould. There's no way he was eating this. He wouldn't hear the end of it from Sans if he did.

Maybe he could feed them to Sans?

No. No. That would make Papyrus a horrible brother if he made Sans eat this garbage. Sans didn't deserve that! He deserved nice things like pink cake with sprinkles and very little icing!

Maybe he could even feed it to that mangy mutt he regularly encounters? It is very tempting to...

Papyrus' train of thought was interrupted by yet another crash. This time, it was an ugly green vase that was knocked down by Terri's sofa wheelchair thing, swiftly followed by her accidentally knocking into the computer desk.

Jerry, who was playing Human Raider Dungeons on the computer, jerked towards his mother in a fit of rage.

"Mom! Keep your paraplegic butt away from my game!"

"Sorry, son!" Terri braked her chair with a sigh. Poor mother, Papyrus thought. She seemed like a nice person as well. What did she do to deserve a son like Jerry?

"JERRY, THAT WAS RUDE!"

As usual, Jerry just scoffed at Papyrus' scolding. What else could the cool skeleton do, anyhow?

"Oh, don't worry about that, my dear. Jerry's just going through puberty, you know how it is." Terri tried to reassure Papyrus. It was a valiant effort.

Puberty doesn't excuse anything, though. Papyrus knew that by experience.

Terri made an effort to smile. "Here, how about I show you some pictures of my little boy, huh? I've always wanted to do this."

"MOM!!!!!!" Jerry snapped.

"He's never had a real friend before."

"That's NOT true!!!!"

Papyrus let out a little laugh. Looking at Jerry's childhood photos sounded like a great idea! That way, Papyrus can try to find the catalyst for Jerry's borderline evil behaviour! It's perfect!!!

He stuck a pose. "WHY OF COURSE!!! THE GREAT PAPYRUS WOULD LOVE TO SEE THEM!!!!"

A low embarrassed growl rumbled from the boy at the computer desk. At the same time, a slightly gross but charming smile spread on the wheelchair-bound mother's face.

"Come over here, dear." She pat the arm of the chair, motioning for Papyrus to sit. After a moment of hesitation, Papyrus sat uncomfortably on the arm of the wheelchair, watching as the lady pulled out a photo album from the nearest bookshelf, and flickered through it. The photo album looked practically vintage, with photos dating all the way back to when Terri and what Papyrus could assume is Jerry's dad were dating. Soon enough, she got to Jerry's baby pictures.

The first picture of Jerry as a newborn was innocent enough. A baby Jerry, being carried by a hospitalised Terri. Terri in question was connected to some sort of IV that pumped magic into her system. Terri was never the picture of perfect health, Papyrus noted.

"AWW, HOW SWEET!!!" Papyrus made a show of how innocent the picture looked. "WAS THIS WHEN JERRY WAS BORN?"

"Close! This was a few days afterwards. I was in the hospital for quite some time. Giving birth can be quite dangerous when your magic reserves were already low to begin with." The mother smiled with a wistful gleam in her eyes. Almost as if she's... longing for something to return. "Here's a life lesson, my dear. Never take the things you can do for granted. Because you'll never know if, or when, they will be taken away from you."

Terri stared through the photo album and into her lap, leaving Papyrus to connect the dots. Oh... Oh, how sad.

It didn't take long for Terri to look at Papyrus and smile again.

"But you're very young and sprightly! And a skeleton, to boot. I heard skeletons live a long time."

"Y-YEAH!!! 250 YEARS, GIVE OR TAKE!! NYEH HEH HEH... HEH..." Papyrus began chewing on his scarf. He didn't know how long he can take this heavy atmosphere.

Terri nodded wistfully. "Yes, yes... A long, long time indeed, my dear..."

Papyrus tried to think of something to say that would break the ice, but...

...

In a mild frenzy, Papyrus just flipped the page, bringing Terri out of her sad, sad mind.

The next photos consisted of an innocent baby Jerry, doing the typical baby things. Sleeping, eating, taking a bath... Committing arson... Wait, what?

Oh, Delta, he actually committed arson?!?! And Papyrus thought Scripts couldn't get any paler. Any colour he would have had in his face was completely gone when he saw that photo!

And to make matters even worse, Terri suppressed a fond giggle. She was so fond of this moment that she TOOK A PICTURE OF IT?!

"T-TERRI?! WHY ON EARTH DO YOU HAVE A PICTURE OF JERRY SETTING THE FOREST ON FIRE!?!?!"

Her giggles sounded more and more deranged the longer Papyrus heard them. "Oh, you know how babies can be, my dear. They get rather cranky when they don't get their milkies on time!"

The notorious Papyrus googly eyes made yet another appearance, coupled with a classic skeleton jaw drop. It's a good thing Papyrus didn't have the type of mandible that could easily disconnect. That would've been a hassle.

Ah, so Jerry was... like THAT... since he was a baby, then. Good to know...

Meanwhile, the obnoxiously loud computer game only became more noticeable once Papyrus had solid proof that Jerry was just like this since infancy. How can a monster lean into his... BAD side so much? Papyrus doesn't understand... He CAN'T understand...

"GET OUT OF MY WAY, NOOBS!!! HAHAHAHAHA!!!!!" Jerry's snotty cackle obnoxiously rang through the entire living room. And it just kept going.

Something unexpected occurred.

"YEAH, JERRY!!!!! DESTROY THOSE NOOBS!!!! LEAVE THAT KID IN THE DUST!!!!! MAKE SURE THEY KNOW HOW PATHETIC THEY ARE!!!!!! WAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!"

Oh, Delta. Papyrus really needed to get out of here. This family is insane!

And Terri was such a sweet lady too... But as it turned out, she had just been encouraging Jerry to be this way... That wasn't right. None of this is right at all!

Fine, then. If Papyrus cannot find any good in Jerry as he is, then he will just have to TEACH HIM how to be good!!

It's a good thing Papyrus is an expert at being good! He's perfection PERSONIFIED!!! Papyrus: Perfection Personified!!!!

Under his teachings, Jerry will become the greatest version of himself he could ever be! Papyrus was sure of it!

Well... Half-sure, at least. It would take a lot of work.

.......And they're STILL cackling..........

[weaversweek]

"If you love someone" and "Sk8er boi"

Another two for the #FearOfMu21c project, crowdsourcing the greatest singles of the 21st century. Here’s an index post.

"If you love someone" - The Veronicas

Gothpop twins Jessica and Lisa Origliasso have been making great music for most of the century. They've gone from power pop (4ever, All about us) through synth-dance (Untouched), and then into an era of molten Barbie poured into a crucible with black eyeliner. Or something like that.

"If you love someone" comes from The Veronicas' 2014 eponymous album, itself following five years of development hell and a transfer from Warner Brothers to Sony. There's anger on the album, most notably on the sarcastic "Did you miss me". The song's co-written by Lisa and Jessica, their regular collaborator Josh Katz, and songwriting powerhouse DNA Music.

And it's happy, upbeat, inclusive. A big giant hug for all the queers, all the misfits, all the people who don't quite fit into Normal Bread Society. Yes, it's a simple and universal emotion, expressed in an uncomplicated way. And sometimes, the simple stuff is just right.

"Sk8er boi" - Avril Lavigne

Speaking of simple concepts: "He was a boy. She was a girl. Can I make it any more obvious?"

Avril Lavigne splashed onto the scene in summer 2002, and snotty bratty mall-punks around the world found their eyes popping out on stalks. "Complicated" had an interesting video; "Sk8er boi" was the soundtrack to rebellion. A youthful, limited, acting out against the system rebellion.

Written by Avril with powerpop trio The Matrix, "Sk8er boi" tells of a doomed romance between a posh ballet superstar who spurns the advances of a snotty bratty skater boy. By concluding with the news that Avril gets with the skater, we're spared the problem of explaining a genderbent Mary Sue to 2002.

The song is a blast. Literally: it begins at high volume and doesn't stop. The lyric starts as simple, staccatto phrases - until it gets complex. There's plenty of music to be had - power pop chords, hook after hook, and Avril shows she can sing. But it's the energy that impresses - "Sk8er boi" sees the line between "milquetoast" and "too loud", dances along it, turns a few cartwheels, and ends by making an iconic hand gesture in our face.

It's one of Avril's signature songs, alongside "Complicated" and 2007's "Girlfriend" - all three made my longlist for this project.

[whovianwholikesgirls]

For You Self Ship Asks:

what’s your funniest or most embarrassing memory together?

what inside jokes do you share?

describe your f/o in 6 words or less

would you rather go to their world, or have them come to yours?

the most random thing you associate with your f/o (foods, shapes, even textures! anything that’s not an obvious)

Okay I’m def answering for Spence for these bc he’s my husband duh but also the first question made me think of Jonathan so I’ll add my “side piece” as @itsfreakingbats deemed him and I affectionately refer to him now to the answers too

Funniest or most embarrassing memory together

Jon: when Steve attempted to drop his camera onto the concrete after picking on him for the pictures of Nancy. (Yes Steve was in the right bc he was protecting his girl but I had to protect my “best friend” too. All of season 1 we were just pinning lol) I caught the camera before it hit the asphalt of the parking lot, handed it to Jonathan, then punched Steve in the face. Then we had to run to the car 😂😂😂😂

Spence: after we said I love you for the first time, I had the smart idea to prove and science knowledge to him and try to flirt. Bad idea. I made the worst jokes in the history of jokes by saying,“so I’m guessing you’ve got a lot of dopamine and oxytocin in your system right now?” He laughed and kissed my forehead. I wanted to die.

Inside jokes:

Honestly? We don’t have any. We have plenty of core memories, pet names, favorite ways to show affection, and favorite ways to spend time together. We don’t have inside jokes tho. These will be fun to add to canon at some point

Describe them in six words or less:

Spence: devoted, comforting, DRIVEN

Jon: a sneak peek of a fic that’s over 8k words and still needs more scenes that I’ve been working on for months, like since at least this last summer, I’m determined to finish this year:

The fastest way to get out of Murray’s place was up the stairs he just went through and there was no way they were going to let that nosey little hermit see how his words affected them, no matter how right he was.

Well, mostly right.

They would use words far more eloquent than “babe magnet” to describe Jonathan: steadfast, pulchritudinous, and altruistic were among their favorites.

Would you rather them come into your world or go into theirs

Spence: both🙈when I want him all to myself I’d rather him come into my world but if I miss the found family vibes of the BAU, which I’d more often then not, I’d go into his

Jon: a magical ST AU without the upside down because I want to be in his world to hang out with all the characters and to see REM and Nirvana live, but without the stress of the monsters. El obvs still needs her powers and meets the OG party but the actual upside down isn’t a threat. Basically that’s all gone and Brenner and everyone and his lab go to jail for experimentation on children. Yay happy ending

Random things that remind you of them:

Spence: most people would say the obvious, books, vinyl records, doctor who. All of those things are correct but a raise you the color olive green. It’s always been one of my fav colors but it just looks so good on him I love it even more

Gifs for reference https://www.google.com/amp/s/undertheniall.tumblr.com/post/626721895783546880/amp

Jon: oh boy I have a list

Cars bc he’s fucking hot when he drives

Black denim jackets bc of the iconic one in seasons 1 and 2

Waffles and pancakes because I just know he makes the best ones

It’s canon in the fandom that he’s the fan of the cure so the cure makes me think of him too but he also canonically has an REM poster in his room in season 1. *screaming* they’re one of my favorite bands of all time thanks to @anything-thats-rock-and-roll introducing me to him. It’s only natural order of things that REM fans are also fans of U2 so Jay and I both HC he’s a fan of U2 in my AU too

Both of them: converse!!! I have a collection myself and I’ve loved them since I was a kid but now when I wear a different pair depending on my outfit I automatically feel closer to my boys 🥰

Thanks for these!! They’re seriously making my entire week 😍🥰❤️

[pet-pet-peet]

Could i request hcs of pomefiore + cater with an gn!s/o whos a professional fashiom designer? And they like to make clothes for the boys as gifts? (Like a hat for rook, a jacket with a dragon embroidered in the back, a scarf for vil, etc)?

OMG YEYEYE FIRST VIL REQUEST!!

I wanna learn how to sew so that I can make my own clothes and cosplays, so this is super up my alley- (aka, my only friend better be prepared for the onslaught of clothes I’m probably gonna make her)

Tw: none (that I'm aware of, lmk!)

Pairing(s): Vil, Epel, Rook, Cater x gn reader (separate)

shawl (yes I changed it, but I had an idea for a shawl so I hope you don’t mind-)

After you started thinking of Vil’s overblot, you realized just how good he looked with that flared collar

So..figuring that colder months were approaching, you decided to make him a big, fluffy shawl!

You found the perfect glittery white fabric to go with it, too~

To add some more flare, you added sequins in a cute snowy design on the outside, finishing it up with a ribbon to tie the front together when worn

You put the puffy piece in a little box, delicately tucking it down so you can put the lid on and wrap the box with a pretty bow

Vil wasn’t necessarily surprised by your visit, as you both try to see each other when you have free time

He was, however, surprised to see the gift you brought him

He loved how soft it felt, and how well it complimented his shoulders

He wears it all through winter, bragging on his social media that it was one of a kind and no one else has one except him~

(faux) leather jacket

You know that Epel wants to be seen as a very manly person, so you were trying to find a way to support him in how he wanted to be seen

What’s more cool and strong than a leather jacket? Nothing else really screams badass

So you got your supplies together and got to work

It was definitely a very ambitious project, especially having to secure all the gold pieces, but you managed to do it

You didn’t want to risk folding it and messing it up, so you just grabbed it and went over to Pomefiore

You texted Epel that you were on your way with a gift, and when you arrived you could see him eagerly waiting for you at the entrance

When you held up the jacket his eyes sparkled with pure joy

He brought you to his room so he can try it on without Vil seeing him take off his uniform jacket

He pulled it close and smiled widely as he grabbed you in an excited hug, telling you he would wear it whenever he could

He makes sure to keep that promise any chance he can, much to the dismay of Vil

hat

The amount of love your boyfriend showers you in is plentiful, so you decided to give some back to him

You wanted to make an accessory he could easily wear, one that looks just as extravagant as the way he speaks

So, insert you learning how to make a sturdy and beautiful hat!

After doing some research into how to make them, you’re pretty much an expert as you start putting the pieces together

A nice tall gift box, and you’re set to go see your beloved

As usual, he greets you with open arms and sweet words, though he stops to inquire about your box

You give it to him to open, and he gasps as he lifts the beautiful and intricate hat

He puts it on and hugs you tightly, lifting you a bit off the ground from his joy

He refuses to stop wearing it, even if Vil asks him to for whatever reason. He keeps it on as it symbolizes your love

letterman jacket

You always wanted to try your hand at a letterman jacket because of how iconic it is

So, who else to do your little experiment for but your loving boyfriend?

You made some cute patches that fit his aesthetic, got the black and red fabric you need, and started working based on a template you made

It took some time to clean up and perfect, but you’re happy with the result and hope Cater will be, too

You used a bag to wrap the folded jacket in, then made your way to Heartslabyul

Cater was just finished with painting the roses for the day, so he was able to greet you once you arrived

He asked what you had in the bag, so you handed it to him and he opened it

He grinned widely at the sight of the cool jacket, asking if you made it as he put it on (don’t worry, he cleaned the paint off his hands already)

Takes so many selfies with you after putting it on, tagging with #relationship goals

Anytime he doesn’t have to wear a uniform, he’s wearing the jacket you made. Otherwise it hangs in his room in plain sight for anyone who walks in

*All Images are official art from Twisted Wonderland and do not belong to me. They are the Lab Coat Groovy card art

[amporella]

HAI AMP… another (not very) mysterious anon (its just nana) here to give my two cents on the whole “is kyle/are the boys ‘worse’ than cartman” situation

i feel like people forget that characters don’t actually have to be characters if that makes sense? like characters can have a sole purpose of simply conveying a message instead of having to be a fully developed character with a backstory that contributes to their final goals and the way they are. for example, in romeo and juliet, the prince isn’t necessarily a fully fleshed out character, but a representation of justice within the play

in any case, like you said previously, cartman isn’t designed to be a character, he is more of an example if anything. his main purpose in the show is to be laughed at and ridiculed because of his amusingly stupid behaviour, and he frequently doesn’t ever have much good coming to him, and if he does it isnt for long, for example in cartmanland where he gets a million dollars and loses it in the same episode solely because he is stupid with the way he handles it; again, he is designed to be laughed at and mocked for how he behaved, and he is not a character that the audience is made to sympathise/empathise with at all

in conclusion: cartman is a racist, antisemitic asshole and is not meant to be compared to the other boys because their storytelling purposes do not intertwine with cartman’s. stan, kyle and kenny all have completely different roles and allegorical meanings to cartman and one would think this is a given concept but i suppose not ^_^

yours faithfully, nana

(also yes i sent this in as an anon ask because my sp blog is a sideblog… screams and cries)

HAII NANA :3

THIS IS VERY TRUE AND WORDED VERY WELL... Cartman is one of those characters with a sole purpose, and he fills it very well! He's iconically evil; you'd be hard pressed to find more well-known despicable characters, given just how he's embedded himself into pop culture (speaking of pop culture, Spotify took his Poker Face cover off!!! which is very sad...). In that sense, he's a great, highly entertaining villain: it only becomes complicated once you try and take him as more than just that.

Him not being meant to be compared to the other boys is also a very good point!! Because he really isn't. Off the top of my head, it's much harder to think of a genuinely emotional Cartman episode, in the same way the other boys each have at least one of their own. I'm sure some people interpret some of his episodes that way, but in reality; he's just not a character the viewer is intended to feel legitimate sympathy for. It's why other characters (even in a satire like South Park) get episodes that showcases their more human parts (a great example is The Poor Kid, for Kenny), while Cartman essentially gets zip. His most humanizing episodes are still played off as jokes, because they're really not meant to be humanizing at all.

I've seen plenty of people who want to make Cartman more than that, which in theory, I don't have much of a problem with; it's when people begin twisting themselves into knots to justify why canon supports him as redeemable that issues begin to arise. It is surprising to me how many people love an evil character but want to take the evil out of him!! At that point, I don't think it's really Cartman anymore.

[kira-fluff]

Heeey!

Saeyoung, Yoosung, Jumin and Zen reacting to to “hotel only one bed” trope ? ♥️

a/n: of course you can lovely! <3 *AHEM* Lemme just say this trope is ELITE and I will NEVER not love it // also, i’m writing it like it’s before they’re dating (OF COURSE) because I want it to be spicy (actually that’s the only thing that would make sense for this prompt but you get my point whatever). ALSO also I’m basing the fancy hotel off my stay at the Ritz Carlton (it was like $25,000 a night) because my grandma couldn’t manage money N E WAYSS. Also, if y’all could let me know whether you prefer Y/N to MC pls lmk k thx 

TW: drunk old lady w/no filter, gets pretty suggestive because I couldn’t help myself, an overbearing aunt, savage Italians, and loud hotel neighbor 

Note: omfg i accidentally made this so long oh well here’s yo present lmao 

“There’s only one bed” PT.1 PT.2

- 

Saeyoung 

Getaway missions are mad cool until you can’t sleep 

When you finally neared the parking entrance to your hotel you were SO looking forward to taking a nice hot shower before shimming into the covers of your crisp, (clean, you hoped) sheets. 

It was past 3AM when Saeyoung finally drove his elegant vehicular device (because what other word is there for it) into a secured parking space 

“Because I don’t trust those shady valets, y/n.” 

“Whatever you say, Seven”, you replied groggily. 

You hauled ass up to the front desk, then to the elevator of the exquisite hotel you were staying at

not that you cared 

because S L E E P 

but Saeyoung likes to quote Jurassic Park (because of course he does) like “I spare no expense, y/n” 

“I’m too tired to laugh” 

*gASP* 

“Not everyone naturally stays up until the early morning light before going to sleep.” 

“It really should become a thing, it’s honestly very iconic of me.” (it’s not)

By the time your conversation ended you were glad to see your hotel number and a little key card slot. 

Saeyoung made a show of sticking the key card in like a spy or something 

it was funny for normal y/n but not for tired y/n 

“Here’s your room, M’lady.” 

He held the door open to your room as you looked around the room 

a large, lush bed set before a ginormous flat screen TV with complimentary expensive chocolates laid before you as well as complimentary take-home elegant towels and slippers. 

suddenly, you heard a knock on the door 

blinking in confusion, you opened to see it was Saeyoung 

“Um.. hey! What’s up?” 

Saeyoung looked a bit bewildered himself before saying, 

“Hey, so, I realized my key card was the same room number as yours and I was like ‘That’s weird!’ so I called the front desk who verified that I had placed a reservation for one room, not two, so I hacked into their system to see what went wrong and if I could change it but it looks like they’re completely booked and I think I had made the reservation before I knew that you had to come along and I’m so sorry” 

he was breathless after the mouthful he just gave you 

As it was 3AM a drunk, old woman was tripping her way to her room and shouted much louder than she should at 3AM, “Kiss her already n’ fuck, ya youngin’s!” 

Saeyoung’s hair now matched his face :) 

His ears were tipped bright red before coughing awkwardly 

“I can sleep on the ground. I’ve done it plenty of times, it’s actually pretty comfy.” 

“Um, Sev’ I’m not going to make you just sleep on the floor. If you want--” 

“You’re not making me, y/n, I want to do this” 

“Actually I think I’ll sleep on the floor, I sleep a lot better on the ground”, you fibbed. 

“You’re sleeping on that big ass bed.” 

“No you are.” 

“If you don’t listen I’ll sleep in the bath tub instead of the floor.” 

“Then I’LL sleep outside the room!” 

“LIKE HELL YOU WILL!” 

“WATCH ME” 

the phone rang, a worker politely asking you to quiet a bit down because even with your luxurious privacy walls, guests could still hear you arguing. 

Saeyoung began whisper shouting, “Guess that settles it.” 

he plopped on the ground, fake snoring with his arm as a pillow

you sighed 

“Fine, if neither of us are going to agree to this then we are both going to sleep in this bed.” 

Saeyoung blushed lightly at your boldness, a tad worried you’d find him creepy or weird

You started again, beginning to undress a little, causing Seven to yelp in panic and turn around immediately, shielding his eyes,

Now in your tank top and your leggings you’d been wearing under sweatpants and a t-shirt, you said, “I’m gonna go take a quick shower and go to bed. I’m so tired.” 

Seven turned around only when he’d heard the bathroom door shut 

he sighed, What am I going to do with this girl. 

By the time you’d come out of the bathroom, drying your wet hair, Seven was lying on the bed, clad in casual t-shirt and jeans. 

“Come on, Saeyoung, you have comfy clothes! It’s okay, change! I’m done in the bathroom now.” 

“Nah, this is fine.” This was not fine. Saeyoung was out of his area of expertise of expecting the unexpected because God you were so unpredictable. 

“Please” you jutted out your bottom lip in a little pout, being sure to make eye contact with him 

Something glowered in his eyes for a split second before he half-smiled saying, “Ah, little Y/n, you know I can’t say no to you when you go all sad on me.” 

He stepped into the bathroom to change, but let’s be honest. He was freaking the fuck out. 

he covered his flushed face, changing into his soft sweatpants and a cozy sweatshirt. he was scared 

the more comfortable he became the more likely he’d accidentally get closer to you and then you’d freak out because you’d hear the sound of his heart beat like it’s a fucking rave concert and then you’d be weirded forever and quite possibly never talk to him again

but on the outside, he stepped out of the bathroom, whipping his phone out with a huge smirk saying, “Smile” 

you threw up a peace sign with your tongue sticking out 

he laughed before sending it to the RFA chat 

707: Sleepover lolol [see attachment]

immediately both your phones blew up with buzzes of notifications from the chat 

you laughed lightly, brushing a stray hair from your face to tuck it behind your ear 

this was gonna be a long night for Seven. 

Zen: UGH get away from her!!!!!!!!!111!!1!!

Jumin: Maybe you should learn to type first. 

Zen: shut it cat freak

Zen: seven answer 

Zen: hey 

Zen: y/n, text “qwerty” if you’re in any kind of danger 

Jumin: What a strange code. 

You: qwerty :(

707: lololololol

Zen: !!!!!

Zen: ASJDHKJFASHFKJA 

Jumin: -_- 

Zen: WE NEED A CAR, NO A HELICOPTER im omw!! 

You: just kidding <3 i’m fine you guys 

707: lololol 

Jumin: Have a bit more faith in your subordinates, Zen. 

You closed the chat and muted your phone, expecting the incoming argument that was quickly to ensue. 

You patted the bed lightly, ushering Saeyoung to lie down next to you. 

He obliged, though he politely laid at the far edge of the left side of the bed. 

You yawned before shutting the light off and whispering a “good night”. 

Saeyoung glanced at the clock. 4AM. Only 15 minutes had passed. You were breathing softly in your sleep within the 10 minutes after you’d said goodnight and here he was still awake. 

You suddenly tousled in your sleep, and Saeyoung raised his head, whispering a soft, “Did I wake you up?” 

You replied with a soft moan before abruptly turning left onto his corner of the bed and grabbing for the first thing you’d felt -- his torso. 

Saeyoung’s breath hitched as he felt you exploring the new found “object”, running your fingers up and down his torso and nearing dangerous areas below 

Saeyoung whisper-shouted, “What are you doing?” 

He leaned closer to hear your reply, but your only answer was more soft little snores 

Saeyoung sighed, trying to lightly grab your wrists without waking you up, and directing toward yourself

no matter how hard he’d try, your arms kept finding his own

your nails would softly ghost over his chest or neck, causing him to shiver and blush profusely 

again, he sighed, trying his hardest not to give into your sleepy state 

until you broke him with a soft utterance, “Sae....young..” 

Saeyoung’s eyes widened to the size of saucers before he dared to look down at you, your hair curling on the bed every which-way.. your mouth slightly agap... 

he groaned, his brows furrowed and his eyes shut

at last he slunk his arms around your torso, being sure to respectfully keep them high around your waist 

he buried his face in the crook of your neck to subconsciously try to hide his ever growing blush (and erection) 

I don’t know how much longer I can keep doing this ‘friend’ thing when you’re driving me this crazy, y/n.

You awoke to a sleeping Saeyoung, his toned arms enveloping your small body in a hug

shamelessly, you laid still for a few moments longer. 

Yoosung 

this bean is lonely uwu

so when he’d invited to you go with him on a trip his uncle had paid for, you felt bad saying “yes” because it’s a paid trip!! 

until he begged you because his cousin Chaewon would be there and he was always really pushy and borderline a huge fuck boi 

so you conceded 

but hey free trip for the both of you minus shitty family gatherings with no one you know, right?! 

you hope there’s at least one dog. and alcohol. 

dog + alcohol at a party = an actual fun fucking time 

you were glad Yoosung was there with you because he honestly couldn’t agree with you more 

You opened your beach-side resort room to find there’s only one bed. 

Yoosung blanched and quickly dialed his auntie, who’d made the resort reservations

“Ah...hi auntie! Um, how come there isn’t a separate room for me and y/n?” 

his aunt cackled into the phone, “Aren’t you an old fashioned little gentlemen!!! Awe~~~ you’ve grown up to be such a good boy! <3 Well don’t worry, I won’t say a word to my sister or your pops. Enjoy the time you have with your adorable girlfriend and get it on a little!! I’ve got condoms if ya need ‘em honey~~ Remember dearie, when the shlong is not covered, the child support better be.” 

Yoosung hurriedly hung up the phone, his face completely red, praying you hadn’t heard the conversation that’d just ensued. 

You did 

but you smile and say, “So.. what’d they say?” 

He cleared his throat before saying, “Well, --err.. Basically there’s been a little mishap. B-but don’t worry!! I can just ask Chaewon if I can spend the night in his room.” 

“Didn’t you say he leaves a sock on the door handle every time--”

“YES but I want you to be comfortable, okay! It’s really not a big deal.” 

You shyly smiled while looking down before softly saying, “You can sleep with me.” 

Yoosung’s eyes widened and you quickly looked up, your face flushing to a deep crimson 

“I-I-I meant in the bed!!! With me. We can lie together. In the bed---- I mean we--” 

Yoosung could practically see the steam coming out of your ears and the room felt a LOT hotter 

“S-sure! Sounds great.” he had a feeling if you didn’t agree you’d end up embarrassing yourself further.. and he didn’t want you to feel bad. And he didn’t want those thoughts circulating his mind again. 

“Alright, so I’m going to hop in the shower, y/n... unless you want to go first?”

Gulping down some complimentary water you’d found in the hotel mini fridge, you quickly replied with a shake of your head. 

Nodding, Yoosung make quick work of washing his hair and trying to give himself a pep talk before he would be sleeping next to you. 

Thankful for the big size of the resort bed, you climbed under the covers, already beginning to feel sleep take you 

When Yoosung had at last dried himself off and walked out to the bed area of the resort room, he gazed at how small you looked, hugging a soft pillow in your arms, your eyes fluttered shut 

He looked away, feeling like a creep. 

He shut off the light after making a call to the resort staff to wake him up at 8AM as directed by his uncle’s itinerary

He slid under the covers, shoving a pillow in between the two of you as a little border to separate the two of you 

it wasn’t until further in the night when Yoosung had felt a jolt and he looked up in panic, through the blackness recognizing the pillow-border had been cast onto the ground 

and even more noticeably, your leg was swung over his hip, your body flush to his own 

your arms were snaked around his neck

he felt like he could feel every inch of you

your soft breath just below his ear 

your soft .. er.. chest... against his torso 

your stomach and .. the rest of it... against his own 

Yoosung could not breathe

like someone actually help this man for he is losing oxygen by the minute 

He squeezed his eyes shut and make the executive decision to wait it out til morning 

he was terrified that if he’d move you, you’d wake up and see just how much you affect him. 

And so, when the phone rang that morning, you’d startled, looking up to see your tangled limbs lying on top of his own

“oH MY GOD I’M SO SORRY YOOSUNG UGH IT’S A HABIT OF MINE AHAHHSAHDAJSHS” 

he looked at you with eyes that had noticeable circles under them (darker than even after his LOLOL gaming) 

“you look like you didn’t sleep much.... --- Is it because of me!? Oh my god I’m so sorry you should’ve just shoved me off or something seriously I didn’t mean to do it on purpose, honest!!” 

“N-no, no it’s really not!! I promise!!” He tried his best to grin, though it probably looked like a grimace, because the next thing you said was, “I’ll make it up to you” 

“You don’t need to do that. Really, I liked it.” 

It took a moment for him to realize what he just said. 

“I-I mean I like you! I mean I liked sleeping with you!!! I mean--!!” 

Yoosung was quickly spinning circles in his mind 

you couldn’t help the little giggle that came out of your mouth, “I guess we’re pretty similar, huh?” 

Yoosung smiled lightly, “Yeah, guess so.” 

You walked out together toward the breakfast area of the resort

“Hey”, you started, “Is.. Did you mean what you said? About liking me?” 

Yoosung glanced away, taking a deep breath before saying, “Yeah, yeah I did. I really like you.” 

You couldn’t hold back the big ol’ smile that took over your face as you proudly declared, “Me too!!” 

Right when Yoosung was going to go in for a kiss, he saw his auntie suddenly right next to the both of you 

“Oh my GOD when did you get here?!” 

She smirked, “My question first, dearie, what did you two like?” 

Neither of you answered, your cheeks growing red 

“You know, the first time your uncle did it with me I felt the same way. Like, what a man! Must run in the fam--” 

“OKAY! THANK YOU FOR THAT AUNTIE BUT BREAKFAST IS CALLING MY NAME MM SMELLS GOOD SEE YOU LATER.” 

Your blush didn’t leave you as you smeared strawberry cream cheese on your toasted bagel 

This trip was going to be very VERY difficult. Thank God there was alcohol. And Yoosung. And probably dogs. And Yoosung. 

Yeah. 

Gotta love relatives. 

Jumin 

You received a call from a stern voice you didn’t recognize

<<“Hello. This is Mr. Han’s chauffeur. I’m approximately 6.3 miles away from your residence. Do not worry about clothes or other necessities. All will be provided for you.”>>

“Uh.. thanks? Where....?” 

<<“Mr. Han has invited you to join him on his stay at the Ppalgan Vineyard Estates. Have you not received the notification?”>>

You glanced at your phone, seeing two unread messages on your phone. 

You read them, feeling bad you hadn’t seen them before. 

“Yes, yes of course. Thank you. Tell him I said thank you. Are you sure it’s okay for me to attend?” 

<<“Miss Y/L/N, Mr. Han gave me specific instructions to assure you would be able to come with him. I have been ordered to give 2 minute updates following your being picked up. I can assure you, it is his utmost wish that you join him this weekend. I’d be honored to thank him on your behalf, though I feel it would mean much more to him if you said it to him rather than me.” >>

“You’re right, thank you. And thanks for driving me. And for all the other stuff you said”, you replied nervously. 

<<”There is no need to thank me, Miss. I am glad to serve Mr. Han in anyway I can.”>>

The call hung up before you could spout out more thank yous 

you phone buzzed, startling you. 

you clicked the notification

<<(XXX-XXX-XXXX HAN COMPANIES) I’ve arrived at your residence. Let me know if there is anything I can carry for you. Sent 13:52>>

You quickly texted a reply of gratitude before rushing down the stairs out of your apartment, not wanting to make Jumin’s chauffeur wait. 

“Good to see you Miss Y/L/N. Is there anything I can get you? I have been given orders to purchase anything you may want or need on our way to the airport.” 

He quickly texted something on his phone, presumably a text to Jumin about your safe arrival to his limo.

“A-airport? You mean, like, flying? Are you sure I don’t need my wallet? It’s not too late for me to go grab it, right? I have my debit card on my phone too, otherwise.” 

“Miss Y/L/N you are not to spent a single won on this vacation. All is paid for.” 

“But my clothes... I don’t want Jumin to have to pay for all new things!!” 

"I assure you, money is not something Mr. Han wishes for you to be concerned with.” 

You’d stayed silent at that, feeling bad that you’d already bothered the poor man who’d just been ordered to drive you, not reassure you of Jumin’s financial affairs. 

You grew quiet, looking out the window as trees, streets, and cars zoomed past you. 

“If you so wish, there are numerous meals options in the compartments below the seats as well as alcohol, carbonated beverages and iced water glasses. You are, of course, welcome to any of these. Please do not hesitate to notify me if there is something you’d like instead. We’d glad to make it a regular option in all of our limousines.” 

You flushed, embarrassed at the amount of power Jumin’s words, and effectively, your own seemed to have on the entire Han Conglomerate as a whole. You laughed a little, it was funny thinking to yourself that you had so much power as to decide snack options for Jumin’s cars. 

Jumin was extra like that, he always went above and beyond to make you comfortable. You loved that about him. It made you feel a little spoiled, so you instinctively rejected most offers at things that seemed to further complicate his worker’s duties. 

You had no idea that when the chauffeur had said airport he meant the Han Private Airway Transportation Zone. 

As in... private jet. 

It was hard not to feel like you were in a whole different world. 

Not that Jumin treated you that way... but it was hard not to notice! 

You bowed in thanks to the driver before hastily finding your way to the nearest man standing in another black suit, his hands folded together in front of him. 

As soon as you uttered your name, his whole demeanor changed and he instantly had gone from cool and collected to humble and overwhelmingly kind. 

He’d quickly made his way to the boarding area, escorting you to the jet before leaving you at a polite distance way from Jumin who’d been looking at you from the moment you’d entered the aircraft. 

His eyes searched your own as you’d yet to discover his presence 

He couldn’t help but rake his eyes up and down your body, admiring the way you could look just in anything. 

He at last saw you searching the spacious cabin, at last laying eyes on him. 

His heart pounded faster, as if your noticing him made his heart leap in joy

You looked relieved and smiled, running over to him and sitting down next to him 

“Hi Jumin!! Oh, should I be calling you Mr. Han? That’s what your chauffeur called you.. sorry if that’s what I should’ve been addressing you as!!” 

His deep voice rumbled in your ear, causing you to shudder, “Jumin is fine.” 

You gazed up at him through your lashes, noticing the way his perfectly tailored vest made him look so... well... for lack of better word...hot. 

“Wow. You look...” Your eyes moved from his hair, to his face, to his neck, to his torso, slowly to his groin, to his legs... before you realized what you’d been doing and quickly your eyes shot up again. 

You bit your lip, “You look nice.” 

“Nice?” 

You laughed shyly, and slightly (embarrassingly) breathless, “Yeah. Yeah you do. Nice.” 

Jumin couldn’t help the sly smile he’d been holding back before replying, “You look beautiful.” 

You flushed and looked down, squirming in your seat a little before looking at him once more, offering a small, “..thank you..” 

After a few minutes of silence, you’d decided to change the subject, chattering on about how you wondered what this mysterious vacation would hold 

Jumin couldn’t help is concentration half on every word you were saying, but also your lips. Slowly licking his own, he nodded along when you’d gotten especially enthusiastic, grinning slightly when you’d gotten so excited you’d leapt out of your luxury seat. 

Within a half hour of the trip to your destination in Italy, Jumin had trouble concentrating on much else. 

Get it together, Jumin, you’re not some fool like Zen. 

It’d gotten worse the more you’d leaned further in your seat, your chest becoming slightly exposed

he covered his mouth with a hand, opting for looking out one of the many windows of the jet. 

You’d always caught his attention and made him lose his focus -- something he’d never lost before he met you 

He blamed the strawberry sent that you’d always carried with you 

He wasn’t much for expensive, faux perfume that so many of his father’s skanks would wear... it was like no other. 

After a few hours of grueling torture on your part (though you hadn’t know every single time you’d grabbed his hand or arm it’d sent his heart on a sky dive) Jumin was glad to have arrived in the gorgeous Italian acreage of the countryside. 

It was even more beautiful at the dusk of night, you’d decided 

Immediately a shiny vehicle pulled up, ready to transport you and Jumin to the estate you were to be residing in for the weekend. 

Upon pulling into the culdesac, you almost scoffed at the word “estate” -- it was more of a country in and of itself, land stretched beyond what you could see 

The mansion itself stood on pillars and high, Gothic windows. 

Inside, flying buttresses decorated the building, giving it an elegant and aged ambiance that you just adored 

“It’s so beautiful.” 

He smiled at you then, watching you take in the wonders he’d realized he took for granted. 

He was then directed to a double-door entrance way, “Your room, Mr. Han, Miss Y/L/N.” 

“Separate, correct?” 

The man stood in surprise, looking slightly aghast, “T-they never specified such details.” 

“Contact them immediately to confirm. I’ll work it out from there.” 

“Yes, Mr. Han.” From there, the man scurried away to contact the head of the estate. 

After a few moments, he returned, “The Rossi Conglomerate had assumed that you’d brought your fiance with you.” 

“Did you mention I don’t have one?” 

“Y-yes, of course! But, Mr. Han, your father--”

Jumin sighed, “I’ll take care of it.” with a wave of his hand, the man was gone 

You thanked him on his way out. 

Jumin looked at you, searching for a reaction of displeasure or worry

When he didn’t find one, he began, “I was notified the Rossi had booked their other estates to their American investors. My being here is a formality, but it is business. It would be a great discourtesy to demand--” 

You smiled reassuringly, “Jumin, don’t worry about it.. we’ll share the bed, okay?” You held your hand in his own, rubbing soothing circles on his knuckles. 

Jumin looked at you, choking on his spit slightly. 

“Y/N you do understand that--” 

“It’s fine, Jumin!! It’s late already, I’ll just put up my hair.. and.. do you know where the night clothes would be?” 

He watched as you fixed a bobby pin between your teeth before running your fingers through your hair, watching as you arched your back to-- 

“Jumin? ...you don’t know?” 

He cleared his throat, looking away, pink dusting his cheeks

“Bathroom.” 

You thanked him, unaware of his watchful eyes 

It had been a few seconds since you’d entered the bathroom before he heard a loud and alarmed, “..UM....JUMIN...?!” 

He’d quickly made his way into the bathroom

“What’s wro--” 

He looked and laying on the long granite island of the large bathroom was a silky set of lingerie as well as a note in Italian you couldn’t read. 

Jumin’s words stopped dead on his lips as he stared at you, then the silky underwear set, you, silky underwear, you.......silky underwear. 

On the outside, Jumin liked to think he came off as calm and collected, saying, “I can get you something else to wear.” 

But when he’d made it two steps out of the bathroom he had a little collision. And by collision, I mean his face.. and the wall. 

He looked in every drawer, finding nothing. He presumed clothes would be delivered as specified. But it was late already.. their servants are dismissed, only the protective guards surrounded the inside and outside of the estate.. explaining the situation to them didn’t seem very promising. 

Of course you were kicking yourself, before you’d found their little....gift... you’d cast your days clothes into the washer. They were probably soaked by now. 

Maybe I could use a hair dryer...? Or I could stuff them in the dryer?? 

Either way you’d be without clothes for.. too long. 

And nothing would be greater punishment then showing all that in front of the man you had completely fallen for... 

You heard a knock on the bathroom door. You listened from inside. 

“Hey, I, uh, couldn’t find anything. Do you think you could wear your clothes from today?” 

You whimpered, on the verge of tears, “I already put it in the washer!” 

He knocked again, “Can I hand you something?”, he asked, undoing the buttons of his formal shirt. 

“C-close your eyes!” 

Jumin chuckled darkly before covering his eyes and handing her his collared shirt 

“I’d give you the pants, too, but I don’t think they’d really fit you. Could you look at what they’d provided for me? Maybe slip on something from mine.” 

“N-no! That’d be even worse for me!! .. and you!” You blushed again imagining him half naked

You hurriedly shuffled through the drawers, but to no avail. 

You gulped, slipping on the lingerie to ensure that maybe something would be covered before buttoning Jumin’s formal shirt on you as well. 

it was so big it didn’t leave much for the imagination 

but you decided through a 10 minute pep talk that you’d suck it up and try your best to make his shirt into a night gown. 

You at last stepped out of the bathroom, Jumin’s head shooting toward the sudden noise before taking you in 

He could scarcely breathe, much less come up with a coherent sentence 

you were in his shirt... 

with barely any clothes on underneath

and you looked up at him shyly, biting your lip a little 

drawing even more attention to your lips 

Jumin had to stifle a groan, opting to head to the bathroom to change

After splashing some cold water on his face in a poor attempt to get his head out of the gutter, he quickly got on his pjs 

after you both were ready for bed, Jumin sat on the bed, opening a small novel he’d been enjoying, Anthem.  

His attention was immediately diverted from the dystopian fiction when he saw you were stretching

His shirt rode up high as he took in the way the lingerie perfect accentuated your curves, though it didn’t cover much below the waist 

Noticing your folly, your eyes widened in shock before you immediately put your hands down

which, just your luck, made it all worse. 

the sudden movement disheveled the shirt, causing it to ride down completely on one side, openly displaying the soft brassiere beneath it 

Jumin slammed his book so hard it left an echo in the large room. 

Great. He couldn’t even make it look like his book was suddenly unbelievably interesting that he just so happened to not take notice of the obvious sight before him.

You blanched, feeling a breeze along your shoulder, gasping before running to your side of the bed and pretending you don’t exist anymore 

Meanwhile Jumin is in a  c r i s i s 

In the most eloquent of words, his mind said holy fucking motherfucking shit oh my God fuck fuck fuck AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH oh my god shit shit shit fuck shit sdfasodjgiajsidogjosdg MALFUNCTION!! WARNING!!!! RUN BITCH!!! 

But Jumin didn’t run

because mama ain’t raise no bitch 

but also because if he stood up it would be blatantly obvious that he had-- 

Stop thinking about it, Jumin.

He tried to redirect his mind to his 5 senses, a grounding technique he’d learned when he got too anxious when he was younger 

But sight seemed to dominate it as his mind replayed your facial expressions, the way your hands awkwardly tried to cover yourself up, the way you looked the way he’d take it all off--- 

Oh God. I’m deep in shit. 

He had never been so pissed at himself... and embarrassed. 

He looked over at you, a horrible decision, really. 

You were still awake, your face was redder than the strawberry sent that adorned you 

“s-sorry..” you whispered, willing yourself to try to forget, “pretend that never happened..” 

Jumin was practically feral and you were saying it never happened? 

Jumin couldn’t just pretend he didn’t just see a fucking goddess 

but he would for you 

“..........pretend what never happened?” 

You sighed, a small smile on your face as you quickly turned to thank him 

but he was a LOT closer than you imagined 

he was propped up on one elbow, looking down at you, his head slightly angled. 

And suddenly your faces weren’t so far apart.

And you couldn’t help but slowly close your eyes 

Jumin felt confusion when you’d done this

he can be a bit of a pea brain, so he of course said, “I’m sure you’re very tired.” 

He shut off the light, reaching over you 

You held back the big frown you’d gotten when you realized he’d rejected you 

unbeknownst to you that it took everything in him, from the moment he’d saw you in the jet cabin, not to scoop you up in his arms and make out with you the whole way there. 

Zen 

Was Zen going to invite you to his own fucking tour? 

Of course he was 

he liked flexing his connections 

and most of all, showing you just how much he cared about you 

and loved you

but not the love part because God if you ever found out Zen might jump into the nearest body of water and never return 

not that he didn’t have any confidence

he has lots of it 

but it all kind of disintegrates when he gets to talking about his real feelings

But come on, it was blatantly obvious to anyone who had heckin eyes 

or ears 

or just any functioning body 

the way he’d try to subtly throw an arm over your shoulder 

or he’d lean in whenever you spoke 

or the way he’d readjust his posture when you walked into a room 

or the way everyone caught him staring 

like anytime you weren’t looking 

or when you are looking because he is “built different” 

So the limo ride to the fancy hotel he was to stay at was something that had him looking forward to the tour, but also dreading it 

you’d sat close to him in the limo because his agent and other workers were sitting along with him. 

So close that your ass got pushed further and further onto his lap

because damn where the fuck are we and why are there so many goddamn potholes 

Zen tried to steady you by firmly grabbing your hips 

which was NOT the move 

because now that you were firmly set on his lap, every bump felt like a fucking war against his hormones. 

Like a gentleman, he quickly opted to seat you next to him, not wanting you to feel embarrassed 

still, he could feel you being pulled closer to him with every long turn the limo made or every bump or abrupt stop 

and it was torture. 

like this man is sweating 

but by some miracle you arrive at the hotel in one piece! Yay! 

but Zen’s soul has left his body~~ 

so you get set up 

You open the room, “Look, Zen! This bed is HUGE!!”, you ran over to it and plopped your face onto the sheets

He chuckled, watching you act like a little kid excited about a hotel for the first time 

his brows furrowed when he realized there was no door separator between your rooms 

He immediately called the front desk 

all you could over hear was “No, there seems to be some kind of mistake” 

and “I reserved two rooms -- conjoined” 

“Alright, ok. Thanks.” and then he hung up. 

“So..” he sighed, “They can’t get another room because they’re completely booked. Someone must’ve recognized the limo and lots of fans immediately bought up all the rooms in hopes of seeing me.”

“It’s alright Zen! I can ask to switch with your agent or something!!” 

“NO!” Zen said a little too loudly. “No. Um, look it would be bad because he’s a man.” 

“Your a dude, too, Zen.” 

“I-- yeah, but that’s different because I’m a guy you can trust.” 

“True..”

“So I’ll sleep on the couch, ‘kay?” 

“Zen, no! You need your beauty sleep to be ready for your performance tomorrow!!!” 

“It’s alright, really!”

“I’ll sleep on the couch!” 

“Like hell you will.” 

“Please :(”

“Y/N, seriously--” 

“Then how about this! You and I just sleep in the same bed!” 

Ever the dramatic soul, Zen gasped with his palm over his heart “How SCANDALOUS!” 

“Aren’t you supposed to be Mr. Playboy?”

“Only for you, baby”, he winked. 

You stuttered, “T-that’s not funny! Seriously don’t make it weird you horn- dog!” 

He threw his head back in laughter, “Horn-dog?! I thought you said you trusted me!” 

“Not when you’re obviously thinking about doing this and that to me!!” 

“Doing this and tha---Hey! Who do you think I am?!”

There was suddenly a loud bang on the wall and a burly man shouted, “GO TO FUCKIN’ SLEEP YOU OBNOXIOUS, SEXUALLY FRUSTRATED LITTLE SHITS!”

You smirked, holding in a laugh saying, “Sounds like your fans are getting jealous.” 

Zen’s mouth dropped and you began laughing hysterically 

“T-that was like a 60 year old man!” 

“I’M 42 YOU LITTLE SHIT” 

You fell back on the bed, laughing louder 

Zen shouted back, “WELL EXCUSE ME, SEXY, 42 YEAR OLD MAN” 

There was silence before a harsh knock sounded at your door 

All Zen’s bravado disintegrated and he made a dash for the bed, whispering loudly for you to “Turn off the fuckin’ lights, turn off the fuckin’ lights!” 

You stifled more giggles rising up to your throat as you clicked off the light, making sure the room was locked, and climbed into bed

you breathed out your last laughs, sighing to yourself contentedly before noticing the close proximity you were to Zen 

You stared at each other for a long moment 

You leaned in closer 

Zen placed a palm on your cheek, gently cupping it

he softly whispered, “Can I kiss you?” 

You answered by harshly connecting your lips

The two of you feeding off each other’s oxygen as Zen bit your lip, causing you to gasp and open your mouth to make way for his tongue 

you whimpered, feeling faint from lack of oxygen

the two of you parted, out of breath 

Zen wanted to say something smooth like “I’ve always wanted to do that.” 

but instead he said “I’ve always wanted to do you.” 

He mentally smacked his head, blaming the lack of oxygen for his stupidity

But you smirked up at him coyly, replying, “Then why don’t you?” 

Um yeah rip your hotel neighbor he will literally hate both of you so much 

I had honestly SO MUCH FUN writing this!! Let me know if you want, like, a part two to this. I think I’d just be so fun lol

[powdermelonkeg]

Hyrule Brochure: A Potential for BotW’s Future

Hyrule’s map in BotW is pretty sparse as far as cities go. Yes, it’s got more than any other Zelda game, but it also has like, 90% of its map being pure dead space.

So I decided to play around and make what I imagine Hyrule would look like, as far as cities go, if it were allowed to properly rebuild and not get totally wrecked by Ganon again.

Credit to Eragon2589 on DeviantArt for the free-to-use map icons. I love these little buttons so much.

So, these are the canon towns we get in BotW; Hateno, Lurelin, Tarrey, Zora’s Domain, Goron City, Korok Forest, Rito Village, Yiga Hideout, and Gerudo Town. I’m counting Yiga Hideout as a town because if the Yiga were a little nicer, it WOULD be marked one.

Adding the various stables on makes the place look MUCH less empty, but still; what can we do with this?

Well, I’ve spent the last several days locating all the significant ruins and landmarks, with one or two extra things thrown in, that I think would make this place much more populated.

Maps are free to use if you want them, btw. Have fun!

As a general rule of thumb, I want to make the towers and stables their own cities. The towers are a good landmark and beacon of safety, and the stables have all the building blocks to start building up a village.

If I’m particularly inspired, I’ll give some background on what the town is/does!

Starting off with the Rito! Their village has grown into a town, and the stable at its foothill is its own village now. I called it “fledgeling” because that’s where the Rito and Hylians would intermingle most, so the Rito aren’t exactly flying around here.

Beacon City is built around Tabantha Tower; the Rito have turned it into a sort of lighthouse, reflecting light off into the distance to help guide nighttime fliers home. Because of this, it’s a very popular stop for mail carriers, and where they go, development and cultural mixing follows.

Kaysa Town is built around Great Fairy Kaysa’s fountain; it’s a popular tourist attraction, and she gets plenty of offerings, so win-win!

For the Gorons, we’ve only got two more cities: Silversmith Village and Din’s Spire. Silversmith is built around the culture in the southern mines, and it has down-the-road access to the Goron Hot Springs. Din’s Spire is less of a town and more of a landmark, due to the sheer cliffs all around it, but the huge (and notably not in the burning death zone) hot spring lake makes it a popular rest stop for people on their way through.

I decided not to rebuild the northern mines; they’re pretty busted up and lava soaked, so my assumption is that they were abandoned either due to hazards or due to the ore being stripped out.

Korok Forest wouldn’t change much, besides the Royal Family declaring it a protected area. The Koroks don’t seem to have much interest in expansion, and they, as far as I know, don’t live in houses.

Gerudo Territory is MUCH more expansive than the others so far, and with good reason.

Gerudo Town itself is now Gerudo City, and the Kara Kara Bazaar has grown into a town. Canyon Stable has developed a village (mostly full of Gerudo husbands so they don’t have to travel a million miles just to see their families).

The Gerudo have control of one of the towers in their region, and the town built around it is Overlook Town. It mostly serves as a training grounds for young Gerudo warriors.

The City of the Seven developed when the Seven Heroine statues were recovered and restored; the town around them was built to honor them, and then it got a LOT of foot traffic from those wanting to see the legendary statues.

Tera Town rose up much in the same way Kaysa Town did up in Rito territory, centered around the Great Fairy Fountain.

Mesa Village and West Gerudo Town are both smaller Gerudo settlements; West Gerudo sprung up out of access to snowmelt from the Gerudo Highlands, and Mesa Village, because of its relative safety from Molduga and access to oasis water.

Finally, Gerudo Valley, in reference to Ocarina of Time. This town is a Gerudo-only zone, and is more a fortress than a town. It exists both to keep an eye on the Yiga and to gain control of the mountain pass, making people go through Canyon Village to get to Gerudo instead of avoiding Gerudo customs.

Speaking of the Yiga, they’ve taken two new spots for themselves; Gerudo Tower, which they’ve renamed Kohga Tower in honor of their late Master, and Banana Labyrinth, which serves as their highest security area. Imagine if you’d had to go through the LABYRINTH to get the Thunder Helm back.

Up next we’ve got the Zora. Truthfully, their territory spans as long as Zora river and WELL into the ocean, but these are the only cities that, technically, a Hylian with adequate gear can enter.

Mipha’s Landing is an above-water city built expressly for doing trade. It got its name from the late Mipha; since the tower reaches up into the sky, it was hoped that someday, her spirit would sit atop it for a rest and see all that her people had been able to do thanks to her sacrifice.

Lakebed Village is in Lake Hylia, and it’s actually a slowly-repopulating Lakebed Temple, from Twilight Princess. Meanwhile, Great Bay City is a port town above water and an aquatic metropolis below, full of music and dance and exotic wares.

And finally, Hylians.

Hoo boy.

I’ve split this up region by region but

THIS is how many living spots they’ve got.

Silver stars indicate military towns. Red stars indicate military outposts.

I USE THE TERM MILITARY VERY LOOSELY HERE. Hyrule, since it doesn’t interact with its neighbors, only has the Yiga and the various monsters to fight against. Anything labeled “military” means that it’s staffed by royal employ, meaning knights and Sheikah and the like.

Let’s start with Akkala. The northeast labyrinth has been converted into an emergency bunker, in case Calamity strikes and people need a safe place to hide. Not only is it difficult to break into, it also has a completely empty lower level that’s PERFECT for long-term seige.

City Tempest got its name for being near-constantly wracked by storms. Despite this, though, it remains a popular vacation spot for people who don’t mind a little rain; the Skull Lake and the giant flowers are worth it.

Valley Town rose up out of both East Akkala Stable and Robbie’s workshop. It doesn’t get too much foot traffic, but it doesn’t really need to.

Midna Village, I built where the ruins of Shadow Hamlet are. I figured it was a fitting name, and the area is almost constantly covered in the shadow of Death Mountain.

Four Brothers’ Base is a knight outpost that’s up extremely high, spanning huge bridges between the four Tingle isles.

Then Parapa Palace, in reference to Zelda II: Adventure of Link, was built in place of the Akkala Citadel and functions as a mini Hyrule Castle + Castle Town. In real life, monarchs would have several palaces to go between, kind of like how well-off people nowadays would have a summer home. So, I followed that trend! This is Zel’s summer palace.

And you guys know what Tarrey Town is. Although interestingly, as it expands, it goes vertical into the stone column it was built on.

Onto Central Hyrule.

Camp Rauru is training camp and lodging for new knights. Rebonae Village and Kasuto City were made out of the Wetland and Riverside stables respectively, though Kasuto (also an Adventure of Link reference) gets substantially more foot traffic due to being on the way from Castle Town to Dueling Peaks.

Outset Town got its name, lore-wise, from the fact that it’s the first bit of land Link from BotW visited after leaving the Great Plateau, and meta-wise, because it’s the starting point for Wind Waker Link.

Aquame City surrounds the Coliseum, which is how it grew to be so popular. The grand stage holds sparring matches and various other shows regularly, and it’s a pleasant boat trip from Castle Town to get there.

Saria Town was built out of the old exchange ruins, and it’s in walking distance of the ruined Sage Temple—which, at this point in time, would have been rebuilt—and its existence is both an AoL reference and an OoT one (but mostly AoL, I’ve kind of fallen in love with its map).

New Mabe is where you can find the new Lon Lon Ranch! The ruins there are actually called the Mabe Town Ruins in game, and they’re right by the Ranch Ruins!

Eldin’s pretty sparse as far as Hylian towns go. It’s got Gut Check Camp, where Sheikah train for endurance and elemental resistance, and Windfall Town, a place that sees a LOT of gemstones pass through, freshly mined. That includes rupee ore, mind you!

Faron Province is a little more spaced out, due to the nature of the region. Lurelin’s grown since BotW, becoming a trading bay; meanwhile Cora Lake’s Sheikah Tower has expanded into Parache Town, and the Highland Stable has become Malanya Village. Both of those locations are VERY fond of horses, and they’re a bit competitive, especially during archery season.

Ordona Hamlet is a tiny village tucked away into the middle of Faron. It came about due to the Lakeside Stable, and it’s named that because I am STILL salty that the Zeldevs didn’t put an Ordon Village reference in the game.

Eventide Outpost is more of a testing ground for boats than anything particularly significant, population-wise. The even tides that gave the isle its name make it an ideal location to work out the kinks in new watercraft (and occasionally, the lieutenant in charge of that base demonstrates how to launch a raft into the sky with octo balloons).

Hebra’s the most militarized area of Hyrule, and ideally, it functions as a reserve of men and tech in case Calamity rises again. If there’s anything that BotW’s era learned, it’s to never underprepare for Gann’s return.

Fort Lomei is a converted base, just like the Banana Labyrinth is to the Yiga. This one, though, is patrolled diligently by knights who use daily-changing codes, and it’s impossible to navigate without the locals’ help.

Fort Pikida is situated in that weird stone cavern-y area, and it’s a supply stach and Hebran monster patrol site. It’s the soldiers there’s job to make sure that the Lynels that like to roam the region don’t get too close to residential areas.

Hia Miu Outpost is a training spot for knights sent to the Hebra region; any new soldier to the area has to prove they can handle themselves by going into the Hia Miu shrine and taking on the Major Test of Strength Trial. (Fun fact, did you know that the X-test-of-strength trials reset themselves every blood moon?)

Snowpeak Fortress exists both because it makes a fantastic secondary base for the Hyrulean royals to plan, and because i am once again salty about the lack of Twilight Princess in this game.

Sturnida Resort is built around hot springs! It’s a nice spot for people living around Rito Town and Fledgling Village to take a vacation without having to trek all the way across the country to do it.

Snowfield City came from Snowfield Stable, and it’s the Windfall of Hebra; it sees a LOT of people coming in and out of the region, and the view of the northern lights you can get from there? You’d be hard-pressed to find a Hylian that didn’t have it on their bucket list.

New Tabantha was built on the ruined spot of the original Tabantha Village; you can visit there in-game! It’s a quiet town that raises highland sheep for a living, and its team won the Hebran Triathlon three whole years in a row.

Then, the Tanagar Restricted Zone. If you’ve ever been there, you know EXACTLY why it’s restricted.

Most of the Guardians inside have been dealt with, but the ruined temple remains a hazard testing ground for new tech. It’s off limits to everyone but those with the HIGHEST clearance; I’m talking a direct letter from Zelda herself.

The Thyphlo Secret Camp is exactly what it says on the tin. It’s a place for Hyrulean lieutenants to meet for top-secret missions, and it’s one of those places that you need to be SERIOUSLY high rank to even KNOW about.

Over on the edge of Lanayru, we’ve got New Goponga, built where the old Goponga ruins are, and the Crenel Garrison. The Garrison was built to take care of the Lizalfos problems in the waterways, keeping it safe for Hylians and Zora travelers alike. Goponga, on the other hand, is what Lurelin was in game; nice, friendly, and centered around fishery.

In Necluda, we’ve got New Deya where old Deya was ruined (I think BotW Link was born in old Deya!), Watchtower Village built around the lakeside of the Dueling Peaks tower, and then Dueling Peaks City, a HUGE trade hub that was once the Dueling Peaks stable.

Kakariko Village is now a Town, Hateno has grown into a full blown trade harbor, and a tiny village has started to form around the Hateno Tower, making Firly Overlook.

But what I most love is the City of Hylanay.

Back in the game, it was the ruins of the Lanayru Promenade. So I had the promenade rebuilt, then people moved in around it, and now, Hylanay’s basically Hyrulean Venice! I want to visit it.

On the Great Plateau, we’ve got Aboda Town, named after Spirit Tracks’ Aboda Village in reference to the starting point in each game. This Town has access to the original Temple of Time, but because of the nature of the isolated plateau, it doesn’t see a lot of new faces often.

Over around Thundra, we’ve got Tanagar Village overlooking the canyon, built out of the old Tabantha Stable. The village actually builds downwards into the canyon; people have windows carved right out of the cliff face!

Thundra Village is built into the rocky slopes surrounding Thundra Plateau and the Ridgeland Tower. Their houses are built in the shelter of the giant mushroom things that grow so well in the area, and they’re famous for their signature dish of escargot.

The Serenne Exchange is up north, encompassing both the old Serenne Stable and the Maritta exchange ruins. You can buy practically ANYTHING there; if ever there was a supermarket in Hyrule, it would be right there.

The Royal Lab was rebuilt out of its ruins post Calamity, and it’s directed by Purah, who still hasn’t cured her immortality yet. It’s not uncommon to hear explosions as you pass by that place.

And then Camp Rutile is a small observational outpost, meant to keep track of the activity on Satori Mountain. Supposedly, the mountain’s health reflects the state of the rest of the kingdom, so the researchers assigned there are tasked with monitoring it EXTREMELY closely.

And Hyrule Castle. It’s Hyrule Castle.

Now completely bolted into the ground! :D

If we put all these locations together, we get a very nice, very well populated Hyrule, with LOTS to see. This is how I would design the future of BotW’s Hyrule.

Thanks for reading!

[swindle-comic]

Hi, I've been reading your comic and I really like it.

My question is: how Ty was created? I don't mean biologically, no, I mean what came to your mind while creating a bear oc. I'm a huge fan of bears myself, so Ty being one got me curious.

If you feel comfortable, could you tell his origins? That's prolly some stuff that are gonna be shown ahead in the comic, but I wanted to ask nevertheless.

The simple answer is it was like 3am and that’s usually when stray ideas spiral out of control.

Okay if I remember right it began almost two years ago when I was very very lost in the ducktales sauce and we were talking about the characters constantly. So we had been on the topic of the triplets and how they’d develop as teens to adults and then the subject drifted into romantic orientation or lack thereof and potential relationships they might have in the future. When it came to Louie we were just like “ye he gay.”

While we were talking about that, I brought up a silly little scenario about Louie having a notable interaction with some boy at school. I guess what the notable interaction entailed would be a spoiler. The angle that hooked us on this relationship dynamic is a spoiler. (Even if plenty of people who went deep diving have found their answers on the matter. I’m still gonna try not to bring it up on the blog.) but you’ll find out soon. So the idea of Ty’s character started with “Somebody who could work off Louie.”

But then I was like “yeah ok sure fine I know I just brought this kid up to be funny but now I’m invested in him. Who is he? Lets flesh out this Boy At School. It’s 3am let’s go apeshit.”

And then I wondered if I could make this kid a canon character. Maybe a lesser used one. And I remembered that some of the talespin characters were intended to appear in season three. Now I hadn’t watched talespin much at the time so I didn’t pay much attention to the announced characters. For some reason I thought they were Baloo and Rebecca? I had just briefly looked at the image of them like once. So then my train of thought was like “okay so if Baloo and Rebecca exist in dt17, so does Kit Cloudkicker.” I knew a little bit about Kit Cloudkicker. And from what I knew, he matched the personality of this Boy At School that we were messing around with. I thought it was a perfect.

I figured out like a few minutes later that the adult bear I thought was Baloo was actually Kit so we had to regroup. But I was already attached to this angle we had so the regroup was basically just

(I just think Artsy with their Kit icon being like “idk him” is funny)

The name “Kit Jr” did not last long because it was stupid as all fuck but by this point it was 4am so be nice to me.

The fact that we made Ty into an OC made things WAY better cuz it opened up for way more creative freedom. He wasn’t confined to the restraints of canon characterization and I could do whatever I wanted with him. This early stage of his characterization was definitely inspired by young Kit from Talespin but he became so much more than that. Artsy had started designing him the day after and then drew up a bunch of him. Which just added fuel to the fire. The next few days I spurted out essays upon essays about Ty. Everything about him. He was a fully realized person within a week. There’s so much life to this kid, I stg. I’m really excited for the comic to explore every facet of him. He has a lot of facets.

But yeah that’s why he’s a bear. He was based off a bear character. If he had just been an OC with no links to any other character, a bear probably wouldn’t have crossed my mind.

I’m guessing by his “origins” you mean where he came from, in universe. Like before he landed with Kit and whatnot. I’m delighted you’re interested but that’s private information for the moment. But we will get to that.

Thank you for your question! This was fun to talk about!

[bacchxnal]

[[hwang hyunjin, cis male, he/him]] — wait i could have sworn that was [soren kim] we just walked by, the [twenty-one] year old is a [tiktok star] who has been living in the city for [four years]. normally i see them wandering around [venice beach] but they apparently like to [figure skate] in their free time so that could explain why they’re here.  if you ask their friends they’re known to be [driven] & [savvy], but i’ve also heard some rumours about them being [intense] & [enigmatic]. something about them really reminds me of [athletic tape hidden under baggy clothes, designer cologne scented skin, & online analytics always in the green] but maybe that’s because they’re a [leo].

hi everyone! i’m cece and this is my newest child soren. i’m excited to play him here and figure him out further as i go along but if you want to plot something to go off of, we can do that too! just throw anything at me and i’ll probably say yes, honestly. also you’re gonna have to deal with gif icons because apparently not a single larger gif hunt exists for my boy sad. anyways, without further ado! 

tw: injury, addicition, rehab

adopted by a ballerina and her choreographer husband, soren was destined for a life of artistry. while he was encouraged to dance from the moment he could walk, it never really clicked. he liked the music and could see his parents’ discipline and passion for it but it wasn’t until his family moved from their prestigious new york residence to colorado after his mother’s retirement that he found his true calling -- ice skating. 

socializing was initially hard for soren. he had a soft spoken personality that directly clashed with his confident, ambitious and well-connected parents. as an only child, and an adopted one at that, soren had no one at home to really bond with besides the occasional housekeeper that smiled fondly at the sweet-faced babe.

with parents frequently busy with travel and making “appearances”, soren was often left in the care of his grandparents who owned a successful ice skating rink. olympic hopefuls would train there and soren would watch, wide-eyed and curious. his grandparents caught on and the minute they had training blades on his feet, the rest is history. 

soren blossomed into a charming, outgoing and popular child on the ice. he was a natural talent and started winning local competitions as soon as he was old enough to enter. he grew up surrounded by success and admirers, even attracting the attention of a coach to start him on a more competitive level. he made his first friends in the competition ring and while they’d often be pitted against one another, going out for ice cream together afterwards never left them with ill will or resentment. 

while his parents funded his endeavors, they were never any more present in his life to support their budding ice star. soren pushed himself harder and harder, hoping to garner their attention but besides a few spare compliments, it was more his grandparents doing the raising. he relied on his friends, even when they went long distance to meet with coaches, and kept himself busy although the homeschooling required for training of his caliber made the former more difficult. 

now an olympic hopeful himself, soren started winning championships on a national scale as an early teen. with more eyes on him, the pressure ramped up so it was less about familial approval and more about achieving perfection time and time again. he pushed boundaries and tested limits, to the point that injury was practically inevitable.

[ tw begin here ] 

the fall that put a stop in his career was a brutal one and very publicly documented. bones were broken and he couldn’t even get himself off the ice. the healing process was agonizing, both physically and emotionally. the doctors speculated plenty about whether he’d be able to get back on the ice let alone at the level to which he had grown accustomed. soren didn’t want to imagine a life without skating and so he pushed himself to get better just like he pushed himself on the ice.

he was lauded as an inspiration after his long recovery but things weren’t so simple. with his passion at a standstill, soren felt like his life was over but with the painkillers helping him feel better, he became addicted to the sensation. soon it became too painful to stop taking him and finally, his parents took notice.

how could they not? addiction is an ugly, crippling affliction that turned their ambitious, artistic son into a drug-dependent shell of himself. he was irritable and isolated, unhealthily fixated on his next fix in the same way he used to be hyperfocused on his sport. 

he was sent to los angeles under the ruse of seeing the best physical therapist money can buy but secretly attended rehab on the side. soren knew it was more for appearances sake than out of actual concern for his health so the rehab stint put an irrevocable rift between him and his family. slowly, he got better but in the interest of spending more of his parents money, soren feigned his continued struggling, draining large sums out of their accounts. even after his extended stay was up and he was given a clean bill of health and the number of his sponsor in case things went south, soren decided not to move back in with his parents and instead took residence in los angeles on his own.  

[ end tw ]

personality and present day: soren hides the troubles of his past behind fake smiles and a confident, almost cocky personality. he’s successful in a different way now, attracting attention for his physical appearance and impeccable online life. he started tiktok as a way to distract himself but the algorithm worked in his favor: an attractive former sport phenom now using his talents for dances and trends caught attention and quickly. 

he ‘dates’ other semi-famous internet stars, maintains his audience and fabricates the perfect existence. he indulges in designer brand deals and his posts earn more than most people see in a few paychecks. he creates parasocial friendships with his fans and hangs out with other tiktokers on the regular. people know him but no one knows him. 

he pushes himself behind the scenes to try and get back on the ice but it’s an uphill, and very slippery slope that may reintroduce the worst of his habits. he almost definitely shouldn’t get into competing again but with his age not slowing down, he wants to make the most of his ice time and the career he put on hold. 

tl;dr -- popular, charming (and slightly self centered) ice skater turned social media star who probably makes it into snapchat news and twitter trends on the regular. his icarian past -- the fall, the injury -- is swept aside for his successful and lucrative los angeles future. 

facts

name: soren kim (birth name kim seojun)

faceclaim: hwang hyunjin

ethnicity: korean (adopted into a white american family)

height: 5′10

hair: blond (dyed) shoulder length 

eye color: brown

sexuality: bisexual

tiktok handle: sk8rboy (like, figure skating -- so clever)

relationship status: single

publicly, he’s only dated women but he’s made it clear in his content that he ‘goes both ways’ and is often ‘shipped’ with some of the other guys in his tiktoks 

(he doesn’t mind) (he thinks its fun really)

favorite color: black

aesthetic: think eboy meets sporty

[lovelyirony]

that rhodeytony piece with the bots........... iconic. do you think we could have more of that sweet sweet mit era?? I just think they’re neat

Look. Rhodey hadn’t meant to build another robot. But Tony was at some business conference for the weekend, and Dum-E was just pitifully sad. If Tony had been there, he would’ve convinced Rhodey that Dum-E is a drama queen and acts like the end of the world is happening at any minor inconvenience. 

But why not give Dum-E a little sibling? This is how U comes to be, and he’s quite the gentleman, far more gentle than his big brother. 

Rhodey enjoys teaching him how to pick up socks and shoes, and how to put the coffee mugs on the counter gently, something that Dum-E is not good at yet, but they’re trying their best. (He has a stuffed coffee mug that they got from the pet store that he’s flung at every single surface so far.) 

-

Tony comes back from his business conference (which ugh) looking for cuddles, dinner, and maybe a movie date night if they can get Dum-E to stop trying to escape the apartment. 

What he isn’t expecting is for his boyfriend to be mediating a fight between two robots. 

Two. 

He stares at his boyfriend for a moment. 

“Rhodey, darling, is Dum-E having a...play-date?” 

Rhodey freezes. 

“Oh!” He says, grinning. “I, um...made him a sibling?” 

“And they’re...fighting?” 

“Well, for now. Dum-E’s mad because he didn’t get to put actual coffee mugs on the counter, and U is mad because Dum-E stole the couch blanket. I think U is really into decoration!” 

“Yeah, that explains everything,” Tony says faintly, sitting. “So...U? Like, the letter?” 

“Yeah, you like it?” 

“And you thought that it made a good name for what?” 

“Well, it was more of a placeholder, honestly. But then he liked it!” 

U looks over at Tony curiously. 

“U, this is Tony. Your other dad. We used part of his code to make you!” 

The arm bumps softly against Tony’s, which is an improvement from Dum-E, who tends to go full-force. (Although they’ve worked on it.) 

“So...” Tony says. “You think with U, we won’t need to look for a babysitter for date night?”

“No, we will. We definitely will. Dum-E hasn’t adjusted to a sibling yet.” 

“Poor baby,” Tony coos, patting Dum-E on the claw. “You thought you were going to be the only attention-seeker for a while, didn’t you?” 

He glowers, wheeling back and acting very high-and-mighty for a robot who just threw the equivalent of a tantrum. 

Rhodey looks at Tony, kissing him on the forehead as he leans over to lay on his legs. 

“How was the business conference, honey?” 

“Utter shit. I didn’t need to go, I was an ego boost for Obie to tote around.” 

“Told you that you shouldn’t have gone.” 

“If I said ‘no’ one more time, we would’ve had to have a phone call about my ‘five year plan’ and ‘legacy’ bullshit. You know that that gives me a migraine. Besides, he gave me a gift certificate to a fancy restaurant, so that means we get to have a good meal one of these weekends when you visit.” 

“Who said I would visit with you?” 

“Because Jarvis adores you and I think Ana wants to adopt you and force you to stay.” 

“You make a compelling argument,” Rhodey says, pretending to think about it. “I’ll...consider it.” 

Tony snorts. 

“And they say I’m the asshole here.” 

-

Two years later, Dum-E and U demand that they get a sibling. The dads are back home together (for now) and Jarvis has grown tired of reason. 

“They want a sibling, Sir.” 

“What, each other isn’t enough?” 

“They have requested many movie nights where there are siblings or groups of friends, and I think they want to, in a sense, replicate the scenarios.” 

“They’ve already done all of it? Wasn’t it them who got onto a plane for DC just because they wanted to see Pops?” 

“Yes, yes it was.” 

“You know, J, I still think that you helped them with that one.” 

“I most certainly did not.” 

(Jarvis totally did. He gets bored, you know? Besides, Colonel Rhodes hadn’t been home for three months, which should have counted for cruel and unusual punishment.) 

“Well, regardless of your guilt in certain situations, we’ll have a family discussion about maybe a new sibling.” 

Rhodey gets a text as he’s grocery shopping. 

hey, need to talk about family stuff. can you also pick up some more colby jack cheese? 

sure. what’s it about? 

your son has decided he wants a sibling. he convinced dum-e....

got it. 

Rhodey laughs to himself as he turns his cart around, going towards the dairy section. Of course U would decide something like that, it makes sense. 

- 

Tony is looking at Rhodey with a disappointed look on his face. 

“This is all your fault.” 

“How is this my fault?” 

“You dote on the boys too much.” 

“Oh, I do that? Who makes them Halloween costumes every year and hosts a party with all of the other appliances we’ve made over the years?” 

“Oh like you hate those, Mr. ‘Here’s-the-hand-made-Halloween-playlist’.” 

“True,” Rhodey says, setting down the bags. “Help me put away all of this stuff, half of it is yours anyway.” 

“We have a shared fridge, Honeybear.” 

“Tell that to your pomegranates taking up about two shelves!” 

“Only for now, and half of those are Pepper’s! They’re not all mine.” 

“Do you think she would want a say in the robot? After all, she does have to deal with U and Dum-E worshiping the ground she walks on.” 

“And she is the reason that Dum-E usually succeeds in his smoothie-making,” Tony admits. “Yeah, sure, invite her over.” 

- 

Whenever Pepper is asked what it’s like having to be a personal assistant to Tony Stark, she always wants to answer with something like “oh, it’s really fulfilling to help a company reach its goal and learn so much from my boss to apply to what comes next” or even “oh, it’s nice.” 

She got invited to dinner, and is now in a conversation about whether or not Dum-E and U, her boss’s children, should get a sibling. 

And the fact that her boss’s children are robots, have two dads, and think that Pepper is the best thing since life itself. 

“Why do they need a sibling?” Pepper asks, chewing on her pasta. 

“Because they’re bored, and we think that maybe we’ll stop getting calls from the fire stations around town that they’re trying to wreak havoc again,” Rhodey says. “They’ll want to teach the new sibling how life works around the house, and we can start on security measures.” 

“Can’t you just put a genetic lock on the door or something?” Pepper asks. 

“They’re surpassed it,” Tony says grumpily. 

“How?” 

“Don’t look at me!” Tony defends. “Look at Jim-dear, who is obsessed with true crime documentaries! They picked up how to gain evidence and use it for proof from him and Forensic Files!” 

Pepper puts her head in her hands. 

“Just once, I wish that we had a dinner to discuss a business proposal or something normal instead of whether or not your two boys need a sibling.” 

“Well, we are thinking about a daughter,” James admits. “And we wanted to talk to you about that.” 

“Why, because I’m the only female either of you know?!” 

“No,” Tony says quickly. “We know plenty of women!” 

“Name seven.” 

“Plead the fifth,” Rhodey jokes. “But you spend time here, and so we wanted to know what you’d want to see in a robot.” 

“How the hell should I know?” 

“You work for the best tech mogul in two hundred years,” Tony says. 

“Tones, you’re entirely too cocky.” 

“Oh shut up babe,” Tony says, no real heat to the sentiment. “Besides, I’ve treated you well, haven’t I?” 

“Other than embarrassing me in front of every single government official every time you interact, sure.” 

“You love it, they hate it, win-win,” Tony says, stirring around his mocktail. “But Pepper, seriously. What do you think about a third robot?” 

“Well, can’t get anymore chaotic,” Pepper sighs. “And I think having a girl around would be...nice. Not as chaotic.” 

“You saying girls don’t bring as much chaos?” 

“No,” Pepper says. “I’m just saying that we know when to bring it.” 

- 

Butterfingers is born, and she is the most perfect definition of a “daddy’s girl” any robot has ever been. She wheels around with grace, although she can’t stop bumping into things and dropping things, being worse than Dum-E. (Which he actually adores.) 

She follows Pepper along in awe, and can be seen usually in her office. 

Curiously enough, the only time she doesn’t live up to her name is in Pepper’s office, where she handles things with grace and Pepper gives her little tasks to do, like delivering cups of pens to employees or papers. 

Rhodey gets her (and the brothers) little souvenirs from his time away, and Tony has an absolute ball of a time making them all costumes and taking a million little pictures that are hung up everywhere in the building. 

But perhaps the crowning achievement are the Christmas photos. 

Usually, Stark Industries will take pictures of their employees, put a newsletter out, and wish everyone a happy holiday and all that. 

But then the employees have an entirely different idea. 

It comes from one of Pepper’s assistants after she’s made CEO, Julia. 

“Why not have the bots be the Christmas picture?” she muses, restacking some of the papers Miss Potts had to sign. “They’re always around the office, and they’re the unofficial mascots of the business. I think it’d be fun to see their Christmas hijinks!” 

Pepper smiles. 

“Julia, remind me to add a little extra to the Christmas bonus.” 

-

Rhodey finds the idea to be the best idea anyone has come up with in years. (Although it just gives him an excuse to take more pictures of the bots during the festivities.) 

Dum-E is only too happy to finally be allowed within two feet of tinsel. (Unfortunate incident in 1998.) U is very excited to show off his understanding of symmetry and how to pick out the perfect tree, and Butterfingers just wants Pepper to tie ribbons around her wheels so that she looks “extra-pretty.” 

Stark Industries’ holiday card involves Dum-E and U at either side of the tree, with U gently readjusting one of the many ornaments they’ve had the bots make over the years, and Dum-E is trying to pull off a ribbon from the top of the tree. Butterfingers is at the center, guarding any attempt to unwrap presents, and presenting her bow-filled-wheels. 

Pepper has the picture framed in her office. 

[popculturebuffet]

One Year Anniversary: Top 12 Ducktales Episodes!

Happy anniversary all you happy people! Yes it was one year ago today I started reviewing animation and it’s been a ride to be sure. I’d always WANTED to be a reviewer: I love going on and on about stuff I love, really digging into it and picking it apart... but I could never get started. I tried youtube but I didn’t have the money for the equipment nor a proper shooting space to record, so my efforts.. were not great. And while I TRIED text reviews, my own looming pile of self hatred meant every attempt I made was shot down when it got hard as me not being good enough. 

But one year ago I finally got past that. I’d already been reviewing a bit, doing invididual issues of comics... but got way in over my head trying to do the current line of X-Men comics as it came out, and wisely bowed out of that. But that left a gap: I had nothing to cover week to week and with a demanding new job, I drifted into just doing in charcter chats, little fan fictions script styles. Not bad work, I should do some more at some point and I even got a comissoin once in a while, but nothing I could really live on and not what I wanted to do with my life. 

Enter Ducktales. I’d always WANTED to review the show.. and when the double premire happened, I decided fuck it, and put up my thoughts. And then decided.. hey maybe I can do this every week.. and slowly.. my work evolved, getting better and better, getting more and more likes. I picked up Amphibia when that came by week to week.

And eventually.. this went from a hobby, if one I was passionate about to a career. Not a largely paying one, as only one person was really intrested in paying me for it, friend of the blog and our fincial backer @weirdkev27, but .. it’s money and i’m now making about 30 dollars a month due to a comination of comissions and patreon. Other contributers are always welcome mind you, my patreon is here if your curious and comissions are 5 dollars an episode, but i’ts just nice to have money coming in. To have gone from simply WANTING to review things and make a living off it.. to simply doing it. 

And it’s been one hell of a year.. and not just because 2020 felt like hell or 2021 began with a full on insurrection. I feel like i’ve acomplished a lot in the year i’ve been doing this: I finished what I started with Ducktales season 3, getting better and better as I went. And I didn’t stop there with ducks: I started covering what brought me to Ducks in the first place, the Life and Times of Scrooge McDuck, and while that retrospective has slid a bit on the schedule, I intend to get it back on track this month. I reviewed a bunch of Darkwing Duck episodes leading up to the Just Us Justice Ducks.. chronologically anyway. The actual airing order reads like someone took 50 issues of a comic, made it rain with them, then just started reading whatever ones they picked up randomly. I also covered some of Duck Master Carl Barks work with the classics Night on Bear Mountain, A Christmas for Shacktown and Back to the Klondike, with more to come. 

And the Duck didn’t stop at just reviews I did on my own: Kev comissioned two MASSIVE retrospectives from me: My first for him was Ride of the Three Caballleros where in just a few short months I covered the boys entire televisied careers together from the movie, to house of mouse, to mickey and the roadster racers, to ducktales (again) and finishing with the wonderful Legend of the Three Caballeros. It has probably the worst Daisy imaginable, but otherwise is really excellent and i’m glad I finally watched it. I also covered Don Rosa’s two stories with the boys as part of it. It was a fun ride and I enjoyed every minute of it... okay most of them again Three Cabs Daisy is the worst. And once that finished Kev started up another idea: Shadow Into Light: a look at Lena’s character arc from start to finish that has gone on to be my most popular series on this blog, and that finishes next week. And there’s more to come as after that there’s a short breather with a look at Lilo and Stitch’s crossover episodes.. folllowed by me looking at all three of season 2′s ducktales arcs. And I fully intend to have covered every episode of the series by this time next year, so stay tuned. 

Outside of ducks though I didn’t slow down. I restarted my Tom Lucitor retrospective, covering what i feel to be one of Star Vs’ two best characters, tied with eclipsa, and my personal faviorite as he redeemeed himself, found love and I bitched a lot about the horrible directions the series took and probabably will more as that’s still not done yet. I did what I always wanted to do and started looks at some of my faviorite comics ever, starting with Life and Times and adding in New X-Men and Scott PIlgrim. I also threw in the awesome comic Blacksad. I did pride month for the first time and not only came out publicly, but also did two whole arcs i’m proud of with The Saluna episodes of Loud house and the rednid episodes of OK KO, and generally just had myself a good old fashioned time as an out bi man reviewing childrens cartoons. 

I started Season 2 of amphibia with it’s lows of an endlesss road trip and highs of adding Marcy to the cast and giving us more of the silky voiced keith david. And finally Patreon wise Kev’s taken me on a hell o fa journey: In addition to the restrospectives i’ve covered some additional darkwing duck, and a simpsons homage to the duck comics... but also got a bit weird and obscure with detours like the lost animnaics sucessor Histeria, the apocalyptic comedy where Santa dosen’t know how doors work Whoops! and the adventures of Santa’s bratty teen daughter jingle belle. In short.. it’s been a long year but damn has it been fun and there’s more to come. I’d like to thank all of you for reading, thank my Patreons Kev and Emma for supporting me, and thank my family for doing the same.  So with that out of the way, I figured the best way to celebrate was to do something i’ve been wanting to do for a long time, something honoring the show that gave me this calling in the first place. And with Season 3 sadly being the last, and enough weeks having passed for me to digest it between the finale and today, I could think of nothing better than my top 12 episodes of Ducktales.

Ducktales is one of the best cartoons of the 2010′s. Brilliantly taking EVERYTHING that had come before, the comics, the original cartoon and every bit of duck media period to craft a masterful, unique and wonderful reboot. It was funny, it was insane, and it had damn good character arcs. By the end every member of the main cast along with major supporting cast members like Fenton, Drake and especially Lena, had changed and signifigantly at that. The show was everything I could’ve dreamed of and more and I miss it terribly, hoping DIsney will do a revivial movie at some point. For now though, Frank and Matt’s run on ducktales, as they called it and I do too since i’m a massive comic book nerd, it’s time to look back on my favorite tales of ducks. So grab your sharks, your number one dimes and your friendship cakes with clear gay undertones and join me under the cut as I celebrate one of my faviorite shows and my anniversary in the best way possible. 

12. House of the Lucky Gander! 

 So as i’ve gone on about before and no doubt will again, Donald kinda got the short end of the stick in season 1. While Frank and Matt had good story intentions, keeping Donald away from adventure since he had no interest in it, in practice it meant a beloved Disney Icon who they and disney HEAVILY promoted as part of the series and whose being here this go round was a big draw for fans of the comics.... was only in a quarter of the season and only got TWO plots centered around him in 23 episodes, with only one being the main plot of the episode. The PIlot and Finale both centered around the family more as a whole if your curious how I counted those so while he got plenty of focus in both, it’s still not a day in the limelight sort of thing. 

But unusually for Donald, he lucked out as his one big starring role for Season 1 was both one of my faviorites and one of Season 1′s most inventive outings.  A lot of the episodes enegy comes from a one two punch of a great guest star and one of the series best settings. The guest star is of course everyone’s faviorite overly lucky himbo Gladstone Gander. The show adapted the prick perfectly: The original Gladstone from the comics.. was the worst asshole imaginable, utterly insufferable. And for a villian, and Donald’s rival, that’s all well and good.. but his super luck meant he RARELY , if ever, suffered any consequences for being just...

The 87 series simply made him nicer, while Going Quackers simply removed his luck. No adaptation really got how to make this fucker work.. until this one. Here Frank split the diffrence: Gladstone is still smug.. but he’s no longer actively malicious. While he is an insensitive prick to Donald in this one, unlike the comics he’s not constantly bragging about his luck or how great he is or actively BAITING Donald to fight with him or trying to ruin his relationship or a million other reasons he sucks and I hate him.

This version by contrast... is generous. He’s not the most empathetic, because he doesn’t get how life works, but he does share the riches of the casnio with everyone and in a cameo appearance in “Treasure of the Found Lamp” gladly offers his nephews some diamonds. He’s got a nice surface level charm to him that makes you understand why people like him.. but it’s also clear ther’es nothing UNDER that of value, making you equally understand why Scrooge and Donald hate him. Gladstone in this reboot is a perfect example of why we need reboots or new adaptations in the first place: Because sometimes the original got something wrong or something can be done much better by the new writers. 

He’s perfectly paired with the setting: The House of Lucky Fortune, a mystical casino with an East Asian astatic based in the country of Macaw and provides two great plots. Donald’s really highlights his character: His understandable jealousy at gladstone earning the boys love through nothing while he struggles to make a living for them, and how he feels like a looser and like Gladstone is simply showing that off instead of just not knowing what empathy is. Having Louie be the one to bond with Gladstone was also just pitch pefefct, as is showing some depth for the boy by having himr ealize his hero is an asshole and be the one to help donald in the end. 

The other plot is just pure joy though and is where the setting REALLY shines: Scrooge and the rest of the kids try to leave.. but can’t find the exit. This is where the creative part comes in: The Casino simply morphs to keep people trapped, and caters to them, giving them whatever they want to keep them trapped. In the cases of the kids it’s all hilarious and adorably in character: Huey becomes entranced by a fancy water show, in one of his best bits of the season, Dewey gets a pet tiger who sadly did not come home with him and Webby gets to live the dream we’ve all had of stuffing her face directly in a choclate fountain. Scrooge’s escape is likewise clever: He simply prepares to get a room.. then books it as the check in desk is ALWAYS near the front. 

We then find out Gladston’es trapped get the whole mystical contest with absolutely gorgeous animation, i’ll talk about it in full some time but this episode is just a treat to watch, has a great arc for donald and had some memorable gags. I can’t help but smile when I watch it. 

11. The Dangerous Chemistry of Gandra Dee!  As I mentioned before i’m a superhero nerd so naturally Fenton was one of my faviorite parts of the show. Frank and Matt were just damn good at crafting superhero stories, and like gladstone improved fenton turning him from an awkward donald stand in to an awkward peter parker-esque science nerd who just wants to be a good person and the best hero he can be. He got into science not just because he thinks it’s neat, but because he honestly wants to help people and you can’t help but foot for him whenever he pops up. Lin Manuel Miranda is a large reason for that, bringing his incomparable a-game to the character. While we sadly didn’t get a ton of gizmoduck focused episodes, the fatct we got AS MANY as we did and that Lin didn’t drop out for a minute even with his busy schedule was a miracle and I’m acknowledging that. 

As for why this one, I feel it builds brilliantly on the previous Fentoncentric episode Who Is Gizmoduck?! which just BARELY didn’t make this list and uses the fact we haven’t seen fenton in a while as both a plot point and to move some things forward without having to spend screentime they clearly didn’t have. By having Fenton be just burnt out on superheroics it finds a way to both explain where he’s been, he’s been busy with his new job, and give us an interesting angle to the old “superhero is tired of the life” thing. He never once complains about saving people or stuff... it’s just like any job it gets tiring after a while. As someone who has his dream job but has struggled with it from time to time, I vastly relate. 

Though while I love my boy and Lin is game as always, the episodes real MVP is my other boy Huey. The episode has moved Huey up from being simply Fenton’s fanboy to being his best friend, and adorable as hell relationship. The two clearly respect and appricate each other and Huey is looking out for his buddy the whole episode. His love of love is also just really cute. Added in the mix is Webby, who in one of my faviorite gags of the series, finds out Fenton is  Gizmoduck because Huey is incredibly and insanely blatant with his unecessary coverup. But she of course is game to help while Fenton is trying to play it casual. We also just get a waterfall of great gags as everyone overdoes it wingmanning for fenton: Huey sets up an itallian bistro and tries to purposfully create a lady and the tramp situation, and sings opera (With Manny on acordian), the wonderfully 80′s suit from Fenton’s dad his mom gives him to wear, and Launchpad, who gives us a tremendous list of his exes, and plays my favorite song of the series: It’s a Date, a micheal mcdonnel riff. 

This episode also wisely ups Mark’s Beaks game as Fenton’s arch enemy, still keeping him hilaroius, with the guy acting like a bored teenager and guzzling so much nanite jucie he turns into a hulk, as well as said hulk mode leading to a ton of great gags from kidnapping the children (”I got your kids.. are they your kids? I don’t know how this family works), to “take that coach dad” to eating a pie with tins and all and wondering about said tins. But he’s an actual threat now, taking on fenton in one hell of a fight, and having an utterly transcendent scene where he hacks his way past gyro’s security while dancing.. and dabbing because of course he does. It’s a fun, well done character piece that’s mostly here for i’ts laugh but Fenton’s struggle with Gizmo overtaking his life, and finding out someone he truly hit it off iwth only wanted him for that.. it’s really good stuff and Lin’s delivery after Fenton finds out, the pure pain and betryal in his voice, is just excellent. Also that opera scene is poetry. 

10. Quack Pack!

One of the episodes that started my career naturally landed here. Not for that reason though: Quack Pack is a fun riff on sitcoms, specifically the tgif ones of the 90′s that Disney Afternoon Kids no doubt also watched, the kinds Disney Channel still makes today, and most importanly the kind the Disney Afternoon itself made like Goof Troop and well... Quack Pack. 

Riffs on sitcoms are nothing new and the last year has been FULL of them. 2020 gave us this episode, Beef House and the wonderful “The Perfect House��� episode of Close Enough, and this year gave us WandaVision, my second favorite MCU project so far, right behind Black Panther, which used the sitcom deconstruction to create one hell of a character study. 

So you’d think with a year having passed and this concept happening as an entire mini series would dull this one.. but no. it’s still damn funny, having fun at the cliches while, again like WandaVision, having one of the main cast be responsible by accident but go along with it. The episode pivots from glorious affectionate parody of cheesy sitcoms, to that plus horrifying “Humans”, and a character piece for Donald. This brings Donald’s hatred and fed up ness with adventure to a head revealing his fondest wish is just to have a normal life and not loose anyone again. 

It takes one of his best friends to snap him out of it. Look Goofy is my second faviorite of the sensational seven, an episode with him was already an easy sell for me.. but the episode uses him really well. First for laughs as he’s gentically dispositioned to be a perfect sitcom neighbor.. but also for heart. With his family preoccupied and a bit hurt, i’ts Goofy who cuts to the heart of the issue, pointing out NO ONE is normal and even his normal domestic life raising Max, who we see go to prom with roxanne eeeeee, has all sorts of chaos. Normal is what you make of it and pining for some ideal that will never happen was just tearing donald apart piece by piece and by letting go of that.. he finally begins to grow as a person throughout the season. It’s also a great thematic tie in to the season’s overall plot with Bradford and what Makes donald, despite also disliking the chaos his family gets into, different. Donald accepted it and grew as a person.. Bradford clung to his hate and it ate him alive. Or turned him into a non-sapient kind of vulture. Before I close this part out Jaleel White is also excellent and I wish eh’d get back into voice acting. He’s so freaking good at it. Seriously man i’d love to see him and ben in a sonic property together as a mythology gag. Same with Jims cummings and carey. Just think about it whoever owns the sonic movies.. think about it. 

9. The Last Adventure!

Look I knew this was coming, you knew this was coming. But it had to be on here. The Last Adventure is not perfect: The lack of a build up episode like the previous two finales had really hurt this one: even at about 70 minutes, it still feels rushed in places and Huey, one of hte main characters of the season, dosen’t feel like he has a full payoff to his character like Dewey and Louie got. 

But despite those flaws.. this episode is just a damn good ending. Almost everyone gets a big moment paying off their character arc, everyone in the party that comes to rescue webby and huey, along with the two themselves, gets a moment to show off, and everything comes together to give us one last epic sendoff. There’s just moment stacked on moment stacked on moment from Launchpads heroic second wind and donning of the gizmoduck armor, to Webby’s tearful confrontation with Beakley, to Huey using the greatest adventure of all line to foil bradford in one of the most deligfhully nuts moments of the series, I could go on for days with just how triumphant this finale felt. While it left a lot of doors open.. that feels like part of the design. It’s the end of the fight with FOWL.. but our heroes will never stop adventuring, never stop going and never stop being in our hearts and the curtain call at the end is now my faviorite bit of end credits ever, perfectly giving the main cast and friends one last chance to take a bow in their own unique ways. I will always miss this show but I will never be disapointed by the note it went out on. 

8. The 87 Cent Solution!

Look some episodes are show stoppers, some are heartfelt tearjerkers, some are all this and more.. and some episodes are just clever and hilarious. The 87 Solution is the second funniest episode of Ducktales with me and my go to episode when watching the show. It’s just pure fun and with a clever premise: Scrooge notices 87 cents have gone missing, and already coming down with a cold, goes mad with paranoia as the kids slowly don face masks, something that has become even eeerier given everything, one by one realizing he needs to stop. 

While David Tennant is an EXCELLENT dramatic actor, his comedy timing is really something that shoudln’t be ignored and i’ts on full display here as his performance gets more and more deranged, to thep oint he thinks an 8th dimensional imp is repsonsible. He nicely balances the disturbing side of Scrooge’s paranoia, his distancing from his family, with plenty of great gags about it too, the standout being when he offers 2 million dollars to whoever took the money like he’s publicly appeasing kidnappers. It’s fucking brilliant. 

But while David is awesome as ever what really, truly makes the episode is my boy, one of my faviorite characters on the show if not my single faviriote FLINTHEART GLOMGOLD. Keith Ferguson is ALWAYS a dream as the character but this is his best performance by far. Part of this is the addition of Zan Owlson, Kev who I mentioned earlier’s faviorite Ducktales character. She’s not only throughly likeable in her own right, but provides the one thing Flinty was missing; a straight man.. or woman in this case. Scrooge wasn’t TERRIBLE in the roll, but can easily step away from his shit or foil it. Owlson has to put up with Glomgold’s nonsense while desperatly trying to stop him from undoing all her hard work with sheer force of jackass. The two jut play off each other brilliantly, Glomgold not getting sh’es not his employee but his equal and Owlson constnatly snarking at him. 

And of course both things hit their peak in the climax with the family staging a fake funeral (Though no one told donald it was fake), and we get the funniest scene in the entire fucking show as Glomgold burts in in a white suit, money shades and full dance number to “All I Do Is Win’, which when first watching this I was convinced the song was somehow accidnetly on in the background but nope. They got it after using it in the test phase and the scene is better for it. Glomgold twerking on Scrooge’s casket, trying to get on it to dance, and having to be placated like ac hild is the icing on this very rich cake

And the reveal scene is also gold as Glomgold gets into a YEARLONG staring contest with a baby, fails to steal more than the 87 cents and, in my faviorite touch, put on an imp costume just to make scrooge seem crazier... then keeps the damn thing on the rest of the time for no explicable reason. The episode is the show at it’s comedic peak while giving Glomgold a chance to be a genuine threat and that’s Glomgood. 

7. Let’s Get Dangerous!

Frank’s Rebooted Version of Darkwing Duck is probably his greatest achivment with the show. While this show is a team effort, something I slowly realized as I reviewed the show, it’s very clear from the way he talks, how well he knows the show and how much effort was put into porting Darkwing into the reboot that this was his baby. While redefining ducktales for the 2010′s was clearly a huge dream of his... doing the same for the master of suprise was an even bigger goal. And as a huge fan of superheroes i’ve seen my fair share of half assed takes on laired and complex characters. The XCU alone is one giant grab bag of missed opportunities for me. 

So i’ts no exageration when I tell you Frank.. nailed it. In one of the most brilliant moves i’ve seen for a superhero work Frank worked his love of the show into the reboot.. by having Darkwing have been a show, one Launchpad loved.. and so did Drake, who was inspried by the show to become an inspriation himself and while his attempt to do that through a zack snydery reboot failed, Launchpad encouraged him to do it for real. Drake was still himself, but the meta aspect and the toning down of some of darkwing’s more obnoxious traits that didn’t work in a universe that, while patently rediciulous still took it’s characters seriously, he made a BETTER version of the character.

This is where all that comes to it’s peak, and hoppefully convinced Disney to let Frank , and possibly matt, run the reboot. And no, even if Point Grey is producing that dosen’t stop that: Thanks to Invincible i’ve now realized that Seth and his friend Evan producing the show dosen’t mean it’ll be RAN by them, nor unrelated to this. It just means their helping make it and if anything given how lush and gorgeous invincible’s animation is, it’s a VERY good sign their helping out with it if it’s true. 

But wether this versoin continues or not, Frank gave it his best shot. Part of his diffrent angle is having Drake as a rookie here and as such here we see him truly struggle: he’s had his origin, he ahs the cape, he has the gadgets (in a brilliant turn thanks to fenton, who he actually likes... but is so far the ONLY person to not get he’s Gizmoduck), and the city.. but no crime to fight and no real idea how to go about his lifelong dream. The events of the episode slowly shape him: WHile he already had the spirit for darkwing, never giving up, looking good in a cape etc, this episode gives him the heart the same way it gave his original it: With Gosalyn. Dimantopolis and Beatriz just play off each other perfectly, as the two go from neimies to slowly bonding as Drake realizes this kid needs him and that he needs to fight for more than just filing the ohle inside, and goes to hell and back to help her get her grandpa back, with one of the best moments of the episode to me being when Launchpad helps her realize how hard he’s been working at it, an exausted drake refusing to acccept that he can’t get her grandpa back because he promised. He grows from simply trying to live the dream.. to surpassing the original. We also see more from Launchpad, who grows into his new family and helps push his boyfriend and newa dopted daughter in the right directions. The episode really evolves these characters from the simple disney afternoon versions, who while awesome were made into fully fleshed out characters. Gosalyn still has her edge but now has a hard lesson to learn about doing the right thing, forced to give up someone she loves for the greater good but finding a new family in the process. 

Part of what makes the episode work though as while it is funcitonally one big darkwing duck reboot pilot that’s awesome, heartrending and a joy to watch... it’s still a ducktales episode in parts without either part hurting each other. Huey plays a vital role, figuring the ramrod is too good to be true.. and discovering just how it is, then when captured, slowly unravling why Bradford’s there and being at least in part responsible for outing him as a FOWL agent. While this is largely Drakes story the rest of the cast is still vital to it: Scrooge trusting in huey, Louie serving as his logical counter and Dewey meanwhile bonding with team darkwing and helping Gosalyn, knowing exactly where she’s been and providing a nice foil. The episode is just one long and impressive love letter to the original show while creating it’s own thing and that’s really this reboot in a nutshell. It also has some of the best fights of the series, with the first fight between darkwing and bulba, where our hero, unlike his original counterpart, easily troucnes bulba using his speed and skill, is the standout. 

6. Woo-Ooo!

I covered this one recently so I won’t go on for too long.. but I will say I hold this one up as the gold standard for first episodes. In one hour, hell even in jus the first half we get a sense of the whole cast, the tone of the show, and the world we’ve been thrust into. It gets all the table setting out of the way by weaving it into a compelling story of Scrooge getting back in the game, finding a reason to get back to what he does best in those he loves most and setting up the season long arc effortlessly in the process. The worst I can say about the episode is it sets the bar a bit high for Season 1 and a lot of the first half really struggled to reach these heights. This episode is a masterwork and the perfect showcase for what the series would be at it’s height. 

5. Moonvasion!

Speaking of Golden Standards, Moonvasion is one of the best season finale’s i’ve seen. it’s not THE best.. but that’s a really high bar to clear and that spots currently taken in my heart by “The Crossroads of Destiny” from Avatar the Last Airbender. But while not the best of it’s kind, it’s sitll the best the series put out and is an utterly satisfying epic that ties up season 2. 

While I love the Last Adventure, it had a LOT to tie up and was really hampered by having to do all of that with no direct lead in. Moonvasion by contrast hits the ground running with the Moonlanders arriving on earth and all hell breaking loose, and the episode itself breaking into two stellar plots. Scrooge leading an army of every ally he has against the invaders, and Della seemingly going for reinforcements.. but really just trying to keep the kids safe from it, to their anger once they find out. 

Both sides end up going badly: Scrooge looses most of his army as Lunaris was one step ahead of him and is left iwth Beakly and Launchpad, while Della ends up marooned.. and finds Donald. The reunion between the two is the highlight of the special, as the two argue as you’d expect (And Dewey cutting in seemingly to stop it.. only to rant at Donald for costing him “ten years of turbo” is the best gag of the episode), before embracing. 

Our heroes naturally find ways to bounce back though. Louie, capping off his growth for the season, convinces his mom they can’t just hide.. and in the second best scene of the episode sings the lullabye she wrote.. one Donald sung them every night

And no sooner than Della gets her step back and realizes that dangerous or not she and her newly reunited family have to get back in there, do the cousins show up on Fethry’s giant shrimp/girlfriend Mitzi, and our heroes head back. 

Scrooge’s plot hits i’ts peak though as he’s forced to accept the help of an unlikely and unwelcome ally: Glomgold, who turns out to be exactly what they need: While his plan is as stupid, short sighted and insane as you’d expect, complete with forcing Scrooge to dress up as santa just to piss him off and dressing his sharks in parkas (”I call them sharkas”), the sheer lonacy throws Lunaris off as he dosen’t know how to deal with this and Glomgold not only gets the better of him but gets his company back as part of his scheme.  “You were prepared for our best but not our dumbest!” “And i’m the dumbest theirs ever been! Muahahahaha! Wait...”

And of course our other heroes arrive just in time to save things.. and the episode still manages to pull off what many works struggle to, something tha’ts very hard to: a SECOND climax. Lunaris decides to just say fuck it and blow up the earth and i’ts up to our core family to kick his ass in space. Epic space battles, Della’s girlfriend meeting the family and more insues and an emotoinal, action packed and fully satisfying finale is had by all... and it’s all topped with one of the best sequel hooks i’ve ever seen as FOWL makes themselves known to us.. and prepares to strike. 

4. How Santa Stole Christmas! This one will also be short as i’ve talked about this one.. a lottttt. The initial review, my best christmas specials list and my best of 2020 list. I stand by all of that: this is a unique and wonderful christmas special, i’ll be watching it every year, and i’ts full of charm, humor and gay subtext. In short it’s this series but on christmas footing. 

3. Last Crash of the Sunchaser! 

Another one I covered very recently, this episode is a master piece of suspense, slowly building tension as our heroes get closer and closer to the truth about Della.. and to death, the simple but deadly stakes making this an absolute nailbiter from start to finish. This is some of the series best pacing bar none... but what seals it is the ending: the masterful flashback finally explaning whatever happened to Della duck, our heroes lashing out at each other.. all cumilating in the best Scene of the show. I said it might be in the review but no I can confirm: Scrooge bitterly ruminating over things while we find out just how much he’s lost... ending with him tearfully and angrily sitting once again alone in one hell of a powerful shot echoing Scrooge’s first apperance. Damn fine stuff. 

2. Escape from The Impossbin Only one episode not only matches Last Crash in mounting tension and atmosphere but suprasses it. With FOWL and Bradford’s true nature now out in the wind, this episode uses that to create tension and rattles it’s two most unshakable characters: SCrooge’s normal boundless confidence is shot, not sure he can win this time against an opponent who knows him as well as he knows himself while Beakly slowly unravels, pitting Webby against the boys.. and pitting herself against Webby when Webby sees her terroizing them is only dividing them. Both plots start out funny enough but slowly escalate in tension and stakes until by the end your on the edge of your seat. The Beakly plot is the standout of the two, giving Bentina the starring role she badly needed, having gotten even better in light of the finale. Everyone is at the top of their game and everything builds up to one hell of a twist ending and one hell of a badass boast from our heroes: Their down.. but their far from out and this is far from over. 

1. Nightmare On Kimotor Hill!

I”ll be reviewing this episode in full later this week as part of my Lena retrospective, but I stand by putting it up top. This episode is ducktales in it’s purest form and focuses on it’s best original character as Lena grapples with her self hatred and her past. That core helps anchor an amazing concept: going into the Kid’s dreams and finding out their greatest desires. The results.. are all gloriously rediclous and are easily the best gags of hte series as a whole: Dewey’s high school musical santa claus is going ot high school nonsense from getting a’s in Dewology to running away from the abstract concept of a love intrest, to not getting the sybolism of himself crying a moon made of his own tears. Louie quite literally becoming garfield, and my faviorite scene of the show: Huey, wanting to be the tall older brother..g iving himself horrifcly long leg. While everyone else is just understandably baffled, what makes the scene is the banter between Dewey and Huey, with Schwartz and Pudi at their best as Dewey first freaks out and then asks what the hell man, while Huey defends his weird decision (”I”m not good at imagination stuff okay!”), and then tries to get a jar of pickles. Each dream is just so oddly and wonderfully specific to each kid and each one of the triplests dreams, as well as violets being color coded down tot he backgrounds is a very nice touch. The visuals here are just peak ducktales, using the setting for all it’s worth and the climax is utterly emotoinal and heartbreaking... and Lena’s break from her abuser, finally realizing she has the power now is not only a wonderful metaphor... but also just so damn cathartic. And that’s why this one’s the best to me personally: it just packs so much into 20 minutes: some of the series best and most creative jokes, a gripping emtoinal arc, and so much more. It’s just that damn good and tha’ts why it’s the best... that and starting Huelet for me. Seriously that LIbrary scene is so fucking cute. 

Thank you all for reading. If you liked this artcle, join my patreon and help me get to my stretch goal for monthly darkwing duck reviews, a review of super ducktales and more after! Until the next rainbow... it’s been a pleasure.