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[automatonknight]

let's roll up to be a single star in the sky

[lisafication]

This post is uh, extremely normal I swear

So hello yes I am absolutely On My Bullshit regarding my new favourite game. 

That’s right, it’s the cannibal incest game, The Coffin of Andy and Leyley. And I’m here to shove five thousand words of pretentious analysis down your throat because, and I do not exaggerate, I think it is one of, if not the best written game I have ever played. And I have played a lot of games, including Baldur’s Gate 3, Final Fantasy XIV and Undertale, to name a few narrative luminaries to come to mind.

That wordcount is not an exaggeration. My brainworms are extremely powerful and now you can share them with me as I walk you through my insane skyscraper of inference-driven analysis.

Or you can click away. I really wouldn’t blame you, it’s quite a lot.

Content Warnings: …Yes?

(To drop the bit for a moment, The Coffin of Andy and Leyley covers extremely disturbing material and challenges you to examine aspects of living in this world that many have taken for granted all their life, it is not a comfortable game, this will cover similar topics and will often echo the game’s unremitting scepticism on basic principles of society and humanity and you should look after yourself first. My Content Warning is framed as a joke, but it’s also quite real in that the game is designed to make you uncomfortable and there’s no shame in that not being for you.)

This was originally posted on and formatted for Sufficient Velocity, and you can probably more easily read and discuss it with me here.

With that said, let’s dig in. I have had to split this into multiple posts because tumblr will only allow so many images. There will be spoilers for all endings.

She’s excited, are you?

It’s All About Ashley

It really is, isn’t it? I mean, for approximately eighty percent of the total game as currently released and the entirety of Episode 1, you’re in control of Ashley, just as she’s in control of her and Andrew’s relationship for 80% of the game, up until the various ending sequences where it begins to slip. The only other characters who really matter at all in and of themselves are Andrew and her mother — and the former is under her thumb, and she eats the latter. It’s all about Ashley. Even her obsession with Andrew is, ultimately, about Ashley.

But who is Ashley? What is Ashley? Why is Ashley, even? Let’s take a look.

Ashley as presented to us in Episode 1 is very straightforward, so let’s list off the traits we’re given — she is malicious, she is fearless, she lacks empathy, she doesn’t have anything resembling a conscience, she demands Andrew belong to her and her alone, she has him at her beck and call.

In Episode 2, we’re ostensibly shown how she has him at her beck and call— she leverages the threat of reporting Nina’s death over him and had him swear to be with her forever. We’re shown that even as a child she was “just, like that” — but as a child, she hadn’t learnt to live with it yet, to laugh at the farce of it all.

Yeah, exactly like that!

And she does this throughout Episode 1 — The Coffin of Andy and Leyley is a remarkably silly game much of the time, finding moments of absurdity and levity against a backdrop blacker than pitch — and most of the time, your internal narration is coming from Ashley and the jokes will not-infrequently come at her own expense.

She will later get negged by her human sacrifice for her poor ritual circle drawing

Her reaction to being told that her soul is as dark and viscous as tar is “You guess you already knew that” — it’s confirmation to her, not new information. Ashley knows who she is. But who taught her this? There’s layers to this, nothing in this game is as simple and straightforward as it appears at first sight, which is why I’ve been obsessing over it for days.

While it’s common in fiction, the truth of the matter is, most ‘bad people’ really do think they’re good people. But Ashley has never once thought of herself as a good person — or perhaps better put as a person worthy of love — as we learn across Episodes 1 & 2, with our flashbacks to Andy and Leyley and the VERY VERY QUIET!!!

I really wish I had space in this essay to talk about this, but I’d like to touch on these being traits usually more easily forgiven in young boys than young girls at some point.

If she removes all other options, only then can she expect him to like her.

This is something that is echoed in the modern day — her seeming self-assurance is easily shaken and she reaches out to the world — usually Andrew — to affirm and validate her, soothing her insecurities, using any tool she deems necessary. Even when her life is on the line when Andrew has her by the throat at the climax of Episode 1, the only ‘compelling reason’ she can give Andrew to not kill her is her ability to soothe his nightmares. When he tells her there are sleeping pills for that…

Most people would have a bit more to argue for their existence.

While she, unlike Andrew, acknowledges having had friends before the quarantine… you know she’s got a point that they didn’t even bother to answer her calls, that was clearly not something the state was interfering with given Andrew’s calls with his mother and his girlfriend, and given her general demeanour it’s not hard to imagine that… they weren’t ever very close. When we see her and Nina talk in the infamous ‘box scene’, it’s clear that Nina doesn’t like her very much, despite Andrew’s assessment of Nina as being one of Ashley’s friends.

We see further support for her general lack of companionship in her dream sequence in the Burial route — Leyley and Leyley Alone. No matter what you do, you can’t place the pink plushy at the family table, the flowers won’t bloom if you give the Julia and Nina plushies her own as a companion instead of Andrew’s — and if you’re bold enough to go for the ‘incest route’, in the ‘Love’ room you see that no one ever looks happy to be with her in the childlike depictions of her history, nor is she happy in turn, save for when she’s with Andrew. In a bit of heavy-handed metaphor, the player then overwrites all of these tense, upset, hard moments with Andrew, having him fill in for everyone else in life — and happy with her.

Once Upon A Lousy Life…

THE END

And that’s why she needs him to affirm her, because no one else ever has and no one else ever will. It’s even included in their comic beats — when the siblings are getting along well, they’ll often play a game where Andrew dramatically overpraises Ashley while she demands more; it’s a comedic bit but I mean — it really does matter to her!

For the record, she opened a door. She gets a little heart in a speech bubble after this exchange.

We have a great example of this dynamic, that of insecurity and affirmation, in Episode 1, after Andrew has killed for her, butchered for her, his girlfriend broke up with her, he’s seemingly thrown his entire life away for her… she’s still insecure over her relationship with him, she’s uncertain of her control and she needs him to reaffirm it for her.

This is her victory, surely?

Andrew affirms her once, with his usual dead-eyed look.

But she's still not so sure.

He actively reaches out to affirm her again with cheer.

Look how happy she is!

While it’s most obvious and clear cut here, it’s hardly the only case. Let’s look back to the aftermath of Andy and Leyley and the VERY VERY QUIET!!! (I’m not using the other name). Leyley is, after similarly extreme acts — he murdered a girl and hid her body for her — convinced Andy doesn’t like her and she needs this leverage to keep him around, to meet her basic needs for survival. Because that’s what this is — she receives no care of affection elsewhere, so she forces it out of the only source she sees available through the means she sees as necessary.

I really hope we see some of their earlier childhood in Episode 3

What exactly made her like this? Was it just neglect, or something more specific…

She needs this to be the case because otherwise she doesn’t believe he’d stay.

This pattern repeats throughout — Ashley’s insecurities are hit on and she reaches out to Andy to affirm that she is not alone, and she will use any and every tool to exploit her ostensible control over him and force him to be what she needs him to be — and as long as she has that, as long as she is everything to him and it’s not possible for him to leave, she’s happy. As long as she thinks he loves her in her very particular, very peculiar view of love, she’s content, come what may. As long as Andy and Leyley are together, they can take on the world.

Let’s talk about that view of love, because there’s always more layers to unpack here I’m only scratching the surface with this essay — Ashley consistently refers to anyone else Andrew may have befriended or spent time with as a whore, a slut, a bitch — highly gendered insults that bring to mind the idea that he’s cheating in some way. But it’s not even about sex — when Andrew mentions that their parents had friends, she accuses them of cheating on each other in the same way!

There’s a lot to unpack about Ashley’s view of femininity and the role the patriarchy plays in their relationship.

Any kind of emotional engagement, any kind of commitment, any kind of life outside of your significant other is, to Ashley, cheating. Because that’s what she needs from Andrew, a seeming complete and total commitment, secure in her place as the only thing in his life, because she cannot understand anyone picking her if they have a choice.

This insecurity she has in her relationship is what drives her to empower the trinket — he can’t leave her as long as she can protect him with prophetic dreams, after all. She needs every kind of leverage she can get because until she succeeds in being everything to him, in devouring him so completely she has him in her thrall mind, body and soul she can’t be sure of herself — hell, her dream sequence in Burial has you placing Andrew’s signature green plushy, ‘the best thing in the world’ in a cage far away from anything else.

Ultimately, it really is all about Ashley — even her seeming obsession with Andrew ultimately comes back to her own insecurities. If she is everything to ‘the best thing in the world’, some of that ‘best’ must surely reflect on her! 

But that’s enough about the more normal, straightforward and understandable sibling. 

That was not a joke.

Andrew’s Rank 100 Deception

The greatest trick the Devil ever pulled was convincing the world that he did not exist.

Let me explain.

You might have noticed that in the previous section I often use language such as ‘ostensibly’ or ‘seemingly’ to describe Andy and Leyley’s relationship, and there’s a good reason for that. From the beginning of the game through to its end, Andrew is lying to you, the player, without ever falsely representing or misinforming you about events that occurred.

The common, or obvious ‘initial take’ on Andrew as presented in Episode 1 is fairly straightforward. The game primes you to think this way, it frames things and strings reveals just right so as to make it very easy to overlook the incongruities it introduces in Episode 2. He’s a victim. Plain and simple, Ashley is his abuser and he is her victim and would be fine, a normal albeit kinda depressed guy without her.

It really is not a difficult conclusion to draw

You can go all the way through the game, have him try to accept his mother’s olive branch and enter the Decay route as a method for him to finally actualise his desire to get out from Ashley’s thumb and it makes sense, it’s a reasonable way for the story to go, given his character.

You see him this way because the game primes you in Episode 1 to view their relationship like Andrew does — he’s lying. He’s lying to himself, he’s lying to Ashley and he’s so good at it — Deception Rank 100 — he even lies to you. Without misrepresenting a single event or otherwise misleading you directly, the game gets you to buy into his preferred self-perception. Nina? Ashley. Julia? Ashley. The murders they commit in the course of the game? Ashley, Ashley, Ashley, it’s not his fault he’s not to blame he’s just a doormat at the beck and call of his demonic sister.

But he wants to be there. From the very outset, the very first puzzle, that’s made clear. Does anyone else remember this exchange, from right at the beginning of the game?

Ashley wants to investigate the music!

Andrew disapproves…

…Or does he?! 

Like. Listen. Okay. You do not frown when saying ‘Nope’ and then smile when saying that you’ll instead tag along if they do it if your heart is at all in the no. That’s not an objection, that’s using Ashley as his excuse. Especially if you immediately throw her the balcony key that she could not possibly have gotten from you by force (more on Andrew’s ability to use force later).

This is the very first time you control both characters together with Andrew following Ashley instead of off on his own, the first adventure, the first puzzle! 

But put a pin in that for now, let’s talk about his initial framing in Episode 2 first. Episode 1 has set us up to, generally speaking, believe the superficial framing of the siblings as portrayed in its promotional art:

The question that we then ask, right at the heart of it is… why is he a doormat? We explore this in his dream sequence in Episode 2, which does make it clear that the boy’s not okay but— it’s real easy, given the priming from Episode 1 to make you think that he’s the one with the originally functional moral compass, to think that that him being fucked up is damage done to him by Nina’s death and being bound to Ashley for his entire life. She corrupted him.

But, well, is that the case?

You're primed to ignore this as manipulation (which it is) but the best manipulation has some truth to it.

Precisely two things spur Andrew to action in the entire game, consistently — they are the fear of consequences and Ashley. And the first incident of that fear, the very first time we’re shown his seeming moral compass as a kid — the first time it’s really hammered home that it’s a fear of consequences rather than any true moral qualms is after Nina’s death. And why does he fear consequences here?

……

The ‘natural’ read that many take away from this sequence, particularly those who have only played Decay, is that Ashley browbeat him into doing this against his will, using emotional blackmail to overwhelm his objections, and then used the event itself to bind him to her forever as her personal doormat.

In a strict sense, this is true. But this doesn’t match up with the details, something the game uses shock to encourage you to overlook. That outburst is before any kind of threat has been made, and absolutely nothing either of them say anything about it being morally bad until Ashley weaponises ‘you’re a bad person’ against Andrew — morality didn’t seem to enter his mind or the equation at all until Ashley brought it up. More than that, his greatest fear and driving motivation even prior to that is, as shown above, being taken away from Ashley.

She, of course, recognises this and uses it against him. But she never needed to, it didn’t change anything about Andrew’s attachment to her, it was there to address her own insecurities.

Just like to touch on how a lot of his affirmations are preceded by him confirming her insecurities.

I adore this phrasing

There’s a second prong to this as well, to the question of ‘who really calls the shots here’ because — Andrew can, at any stage, apply an ‘ultimate veto’ of physical violence. The game is very clear to the player that that is on the table — even when they were children, when Andy swears their blood oath, he briefly considers killing her — and take note of how he ultimately got a ‘winning’ condition out of her by not specifying there wouldn’t be others and she is forced to accept that, there. Even outside of their most serious confrontations, Ashley is portrayed as having to convince, manipulate or otherwise coerce Andrew into going along with her schemes — she really can’t make him do anything, she doesn’t have the supremacy in violence and, to a lesser extent, capability that would allow her to. 

Andrew, you are like ten years old.

The truth of the matter is, Ashley can only make Andrew do anything because he lets her. I don’t mean in the sense that I’m saying abuse victims let their abusers emotionally abuse them, I mean in the sense that he is clearly considering his options on the table and choosing to discard those that could stop her, or bring an end to any of this. He needs her.

But it’s true that he hates her, too. He has to hate her, because if he doesn’t hate her, if he isn’t forced to have done this, that means… he’s responsible. And nothing, at the start of the story, is as important to Andrew as avoiding the consequences of his own actions, not even Ashley. By the midpoint, he loves her, he hates her, he can’t live without her, he wants to kill her — by the end… well, that depends if you’re on Decay or Burial, but more on that in a bit.

A great scene to study for this dynamic is the climax of Episode 1, when Andrew grabs Ashley by the throat and considers strangling her to death. She’s pushed him too far with hurtful words and assault, and he’s seemingly had enough.

It’s still framed as a question of risk, of consequences happening to him. 

Like, this is not the usual behaviour of someone who’s been pushed past their breaking point.

He tells Ashley that he wants to kill her, because she’s just going to throw another fit and that’s a risk to him. She is… not framed as being able to fight back (she does have a gun here, and more on that in a later essay, maybe). He’s so calculated in how he approaches his use of violence here, which isn’t at all what you’d expect of someone about to commit a crime of passion… but it’s very easy to overlook because of the abuser/victim narrative that the player fits his behaviour into the narrative that the game primes them to accept, brushing incongruities under the carpet.

At the start of Episode 2, we get to control Andrew for the first time, and the first obvious holes in his cover start to show. Some of this is optional — you only learn that he’s been faking having nightmares in order to share a bed with Ashley if you choose to go back into the motel room and check the bed, for example — but not all of it.

----(See reblogs for the second half)

[wandixx]

Ghost of fries and hero of cookies part 6

All work words count: 14 643

Words in this part: 2 686

Summary of whole work: Duke wasn't expecting to wake up from his quick rooftop nap to some meta kid with fries. He also wasn't expecting kid to stay

Or

Danny asked Dani to stay safe while she was in Gotham. Where would she be safer than under the wing of local hero? And he looked like he needed bad day combo anyway

This part summary: Batman wants an explanation. His kids however, wouldn't be themselves if they did add some chaos

Beta read by @audhumla-sailor though English is second language for both of us, so proceed with this in mind. I also know all of the charaters through fics alone, so probably ooc. Stay catious if it's something you don't like

First part, Previous part

“Signal.”

Duke bit back a sigh as his last hope to leave Cave undiscovered disappeared. He shot Steph message of:

Having The Talk. Come as moral support

and turned around to face Bruce.

“Yes?”

B grunted in disapproving and ‘Signal report’ way but Duke decided to buy some time and answer only questions that were actually asked. He slowly sat at the briefing table and looked at the man expectantly.

Lift chimed and moments later Tim and Cass went to Batcomputer and training mats respectively. Duke was, like, 80% sure they were there to eavesdrop. He knew them well enough. He knew them well enough.

“The girl”

“Izzy?” Was Duke annoying on purpose? Yes. He really didn’t want to have this talk. Like, at all. Psychological warfare it was “I mean, I know she is civilian and you don’t approve but at least she isn’t doing anything illegal, right? Like, you know, robbing museums or killing people?”

Bruce looked repulsed and Tim snorted.

“Low blow Narrows, low blow” Jason announced through speakers. He was slightly winded as if he just finished a fight “Good job kid”

“So you’re listening too, great” Duke muttered under his breath before louder he added “Is everyone who wants in on a show, here already?”

“Give me a sec- here Dick you’re going live now”

“Thanks Babs, you’re the best”

“I know. Donuts, you know which one”

“Of course. Glad we’re finally going to talk about Duke’s kid”

“Shut up, she is not my kid!”

“Steph ETA 2 minutes” Cass interrupted.

At least Damian didn’t show up- as if summoned by this thought Damian stomped down the stares, Alfred the Cat curled in his arms. Maybe others had a point, calling him Demon kid and stuff.

“What is an emergency?” he demanded and Duke decided to take what little relief he could from the fact that Bruce seemed equally defeated by sheer number of people around for this talk. 

“It seems like… oh, literally everyone lost an adoption bet” Babs explained. Huh, so Steph didn’t change her stance.

Damian looked genuinely terrified as he muttered “No” eyes darting between everyone present in silent calculation.

“Oh, shut up” Duke whined knowing all too well his stalling had to come to the end. Maybe it was wishful thinking but he almost heard roar of engine of Steph’s motorcycle. Her presence would be double edged sword but she would help him advocate for Dani and that was more important.

“Thomas, what have you done?!” if it was anyone other than Damian, Duke would call sound he made a whine. As it was, he preferred his entrails to stay inside and since the boy showed up, called by thought, the older boy preferred not to take risks.

“Nothing, Babs is overreacting”

“Don’t deny it. She went about it kinda Tim Lite style but it worked”

“I don’t even know her surname, where she stays or really, anything about her life outside of our patrols, how do you expect me to go about adoption?!”

“B knew even less about me when he decided, yes this tire thief is my new son!” Jason chimed in and Duke knew he was grinning despite voice modulator.

“What from my origin story was lost to make Lite version?”

“Identities weren't breached as far as we're aware. Just ‘came one day and refuses to leave’ part and some light stalking. She was smart about it, invisible, keeping out of sight and to the hot spots. Wouldn't find her if I didn't know she was there”

“She could still just not tell, I mean I knew for years before telling anyone…”

“There is no way. Believe me, she has no brain-mouth filter, I swear”

“But-”

“She introduced herself by her first name,” Duke deadpanned ”She told me civilian names of heroes from her hometown, in context that didn't require me to do any actual research to clue me. I did anyway. I don't think she even realized she did it. If she knew our identities we would know already”

There was a moment of silence as everyone digested the thought of just how gigantic breach Dani accidentally caused.

“Well, it's as good of a proof as we can get for now,” Babs bristled. 

“Who let her in on such secrets then?!” Damian sounded genuinely appalled and Duke wasn't too surprised.

Like on a cue, Steph stormed inside on her Spoiler in civies. Bruce looked about ready to get aneurysm. Duke was a bit glad that everyone was doing such good job in distraction department.

“IT’S OKAY, WHY? BECAUSE I AM HERE!” Steph yelled, jumping from before her vehicle fully stopped. She threw something small in general direction of Batcomputer “Timmy plug it in, I made a PowerPoint!”

Duke felt blood leave his face. He wasn't sure if he wanted to know what Steph put together but he probably didn't. Tim opened it anyways.

WHY HOOPOE IS ADORABLE&CHAOTIC BEAN AND SHOULD BE PART OF THE TEAM

The title slide said, one of the clearest photos of Dani from before she started wearing mask in the background. It was close-up of girl smiling, bits of brownie on her cheeks.

“Was this photo taken with a goddamn calculator?” Tim asked with disgust so clear Duke could taste it. Metaphorically of course.

“Nah, just body-cam. Her powers mess with technology a bit”

Tim still looked displeased at the craftsmanship.

“Don't worry, it's not  a bad photo. Baby Bird is just being perfectionist,” Dick placated.

Duke didn't realize that Damian froze until he unfroze and made his way to the screen, stopping less than one foot away from it. His movements were rigid, his face scrunched with distress. Alfred the Cat escaped its master probably due to hoe tense he was. Everyone in Cave quietened as soon as boy took first step and expecting mood had to run through microphones because nobody from the on-line crowd quipped in.

“This is the green of Lazarus” he whispered finally, sounding actually scared. Jason swore. Bruce and Cass visibly stiffened. Tim choked and he wasn't even drinking. Dick did his whinny breezy name saying thing when he wanted explanation and felt lightly betrayed. 

It was Duke's turn to freeze because… it wasn't. Of course he wasn't all that well versed in the Pit, less alone its color but he did bust quite a few trafficking rings with Jason and he saw his eyes afterwards all raging, toxic, neon green glory and it wasn't the same as Dani’s. As much as he liked English and how good he was at it, it failed him at simple task of describing the obvious difference between each other. He'd have more luck describing tastes with set of color samples from IKEA or something. And really, even if he tried he would lose the fight of competence with Damian. Who wouldn't.  But-

“There is no way she has any connection with LOA”

“Why is that?” Damian seemed to misinterpret it as challenge like he always did when emotions were running high. Duke took a deep breath. Well, it was a moment to use all of his diplomatic skills and speak in the language of the demons.

“I've seen her fight. She would be utter disgrace”

“It does not prove-”

“It does” Duke interrupted with the tone and mimic of person who saw too much because he did ”None of you have any say until you watch a tiny and I mean tiny ten year old tackle five Joker goons like it's a joke, by sheer virtue of super strength and intangibility-means-I-can-ignore-bullets-Signal-don’t-be-such-worrywart. She should get shot, like, three times at least. And she kept laughing!” he was low key wheezing at the end because even after all this time (a week) it was fucking horrifying. Bruce made a huff that meant he was laughing and put a hand on his shoulder as a sign of support. Dick's lighthearted laugh sang from the speakers.

“Don't worry Duke, it never gets better” B said with mirth.

He refused to elaborate whether he meant ‘kids keep jumping into danger like there is no tomorrow‘ or ‘it's equally terrifying every time’ and Duke decided to reflect on that sentiment later. It put some things into perspective. A lot of things if he was being honest.

Also, he was not ready for stuff like that to become even semi-normal occurrence. He was ready to give her all of his Alfred cookies if it could change anything. He knew it wouldn't. 

“Do you have any other evidence that your new acquaintance does not just fake being less experienced to make you lower your guard?” Damian asked warily.

“I had to teach her out of putting her thumb in her fist,” he deadpanned. Several people hissed in empathetic pain. Steph coughed to bring attention to where she stood in front of Batcomputer, other slide of her Power Point open. Duke recognised video from his body-cam.

“Exhibit A” she announced. She played a video with Dani’s first mugging attempt he witnessed. Let it be said, it was a disaster.

“Exhibit B '' One of Dani’s most epic fails at side-kick that ended with her falling face first to the ground.

“Exhibit C” Dani fumbled with zip-ties, looking at him utterly at loss.

“Exhibit D” the talk about her prior training.

“What’s was that sound?” Dick obviously on the verge of cooing when girl on video growled. Steph stopped video.

“Very angry kitten” Tim stated with soft smile.

“Honestly, furious girl” Cass corrected “She was really mad at you”

“Yeah, I know but promise of Alfred’s cookies was enough to placate her”

“You gave her Alfred’s cookies?!”

“She started by giving me a lot of food on a really shitty patrol, had to repay somehow”

“Was it from your share or-” Dick asked like it was most important thing in the world.

“Miss Hoopoe was added to my plans after she picked her new name” Alfred explained and shit, Duke really should get used to how man just appeared sometimes. Jumpscare the original.

“Alfred, you knew?” Bruce sounded so utterly betrayed.

“I have yet to meet her but I was informed about her presence about two weeks ago”

“He caught me printing mask for her”

“About that” Steph clapped and skipped her slide show “Look at thi clueless child with such horrible disguises and codename ideas” There was whole list of every name Dani wanted to try out and photo of her bare face.  Duke kinda repressed his memories of it. It was worse than he remembered.

“Did she really tried kenting that?”

“Got it after her cousin. He used his first name as part of his alias for almost half a year” Duke admitted in carefree tone, knowing it would cause a mess.

“Cousin?!” several people yelled in surprise.

“Caped cousin?!”

“Yup. Small time hero from Illinois. As far as I’m aware she’s alone in Gotham but they’re in regular contact and she has strong believe that he can and will help her if she used her panic button”

“Who in their right mind let’s kid alone in Gotham?!” Jason sounded about ready to strangle Phantom.

“He seems to be fifteen himself. And has anti-meta parents if I’m picking things up correctly. She didn’t mention them much. I highly doubt she has present parents at all, so…”

“What the hell Narrows.”

“I don’t know, it’s just a wild guess”

“Does it call for the rescue?” Steph asked eagerly.

“We’re not going to Illinois to rescue Phantom if he doesn’t ask for it. He has means to it” Bruce interrupted with bone deep sigh.

“How do you know I meant Phantom?” Duke perked up because he never mentioned this name.

“He is from Illinois, looks almost the same as far as I can tell from the photos and they share a lot of powers”

“I didn’t know you knew about random kid hero from other state?”

“He dropped by on few Justice League’s mission. There is still dispute whether we should approach him in his city or not. He was very clear on his opinion that we should stay away. I think we really shouldn’t”

“How you haven’t gone or sent anyone there yet?” Tim teased.

Bruce just stared at him then gestured at mountain of cases they were currently working on. Yes, they were printed. Apparently for man it made it easier to work on them like that.

“Can we focus back on untrained child you let join you on patrol, Duke?”

“You act like I could stop her from doing her own thing if I didn’t  let her. Plus, even though she doesn’t have combat training, she can handle herself well enough. And has this damn intangibility that makes her really hard to punch”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I didn’t tell anyone other than Alfred and Steph and I wanted to wait a bit before leaving her to the wolfs”

“The bet”

“Shut up Steph”

“When did you plan on letting us know?” Bruce ignored what blonde insinuated. Duke was utterly grateful for that, he knew he would get lecture for that later but he was more than happy to leave it be for now.

“Somewhen next week. I hoped to introduce her gradually but apparently everyone knew already?”

“Kids tell me things. Hoopoe made a good impression on them” Jason explained.

“Hero sightings on Twitter” Dick admitted without a shadow of shame.

“What he said” Tim agreed “This person from crochet dolls made one for your kid too, so in public eyes she’s our already”

“For the last time, she isn’t my kid!” Duke groaned but as always went ignored.

“Nobody expected old man’s tendencies to rub on you so fast, Narrows”

“Shut up and this is half a reason I didn’t let you meet her. All of you”

“With all due respect Duke” Babs started teasingly “You gave us ammo yourself. You improved her diet, you brought her to The Food Track Of Mental Breakdowns, you teach her stuff, you check in on her almost as often as her cousin and their friends do…”

“How did you hack her pho- No, wrong question, why?!”

“We’re all paranoid bastards, I needed to check out the newest bird. She legally doesn’t exist btw so I suspect some shady stuff with her birth but otherwise nothing sus about her. Comms and trackers for her are waiting in drawer C19. You will give it to her tomorrow”

“Aye, aye captain Oracle ma’am” he joked.

“Wait, you showed her The Food Track?”

“She deserved it” he gritted out.

Before this could turn into a fight or something, Alfred demanded:

“Since we are all on the same page now, I would like to extend an invitation for family dinner to miss Hoopoe”

“We’ll eat it down here in full costumes”

“As you wish master Bruce. Master Duke make sure to let her know”

“Of course Alfred”

And he planned to do that but Dani didn’t show up. He hadn’t thought much of it because she was unpredictable like that. She tended to disappear from the face of the Earth for a day or two and return with tales of her “autograph hunting trips”

But then she didn’t show up on the next patrol too. It was unprecedented. And she hadn’t responded to the check in. Three times in the row. He was getting kinda sick from the stress.

He knew Dani well enough, she wouldn’t ghost him like that and in Gotham disappearing meant three things: getting kidnapped, trafficked or six feet under. To their knowledge, Dani didn’t have anyone who would pay ransom for her other than Signal and no demands were made so the first option was out.

Bats launched full fledged search.

Duke himself found and busted two trafficking rings in three weeks which was around how much he did in two months on a daily basis.

Thanks to Oracle, they found Dani’s utterly crashed phone in the dead end in the Narrows. It didn’t look any better.

Duke really hoped they wouldn’t be too late.

With each day it seemed more likely.

********

Bruce: *wants to have private conversation with his son about unknown child he's been working with*

All of the Batfam: Hello there

Duke: I managed to keep Dani secret my family of detectives!

Everyone other than Bruce: I knew for past two weeks, but goood job kid

Random o Twitter: I'm sooo disappointed with Signal for letting Hoopoe fight crime. She is just a little child, she shouldn't have to witness Gotham's worst

Other Random: Have you heard about Robin????? Have you seen teories that Signal is teenager???? With proofs????? Are you mad at child for not taking proper care of the other child????? That's messed up my dude/gal

Yell at Batman

Signal: You act like she isn't personification of feral cat I try to coax home so I can prevent her from getting in trouble. I dare you to try and stop her

Phantom: I do too, 100$ if you manage. It would save me from so much stress

Random: Now, who the f*ck are you?!

(Guess who never touched Twitter with 20 meters stick in her life)

Next part

Tag list: @pickleking8 @mynameisnotlaura

[madmanrambler]

“So walk me through everything I missed. It seems like it was a lot.”

“What, Everything? It’s 85 bloody years, there’s a lot to cover. And me without a degree in history.”

“Alright then, summarize. I can research whatever you mention that seems particularly interesting.”

I shifted to better watch Corv as he spoke, listening through ears that still felt chilly from 85 years frozen. Corv, one of my rescuers, shifted in his own spot, his diminutive form finding a comfortable seat. He glanced at me before starting in to the history.

“Let’s see, you went under in the 2020s you said, right? So you at least have an idea that climate change was getting bad. That was most of the 30′s and 40′s, handling that in various ways. Mostly bad ways. Lotta border skirmishes, plenty of fighting and arguing about bits of this and that. Big cold war between Canada and China about shipping lanes that opened up in the Artic, which was a miserable bloody time.” this at least all made sense, and I was nodding along.

“in the 50s things came to a bit of a head. Most of the ice that was going to melt melted, and the weather patterns were stabilizing. the countries and people left were figuring out how to handle the Sahara being able to grow plants and the American Midwest becoming a desert. We got some peace makers out of South America, and you’ll probably find some interestin’ stuff about indonesia and how its government in exile set an example for island nations and how to handle the shift in tides. Always found some of that stuff fascinating, you can look up Melati Hon and her speeches on the new world, great stuff.” Corv seemed excited about that part, really animated and I could see his eyes gleaming. Really might be something worth reading, and seeing what I thought afterwards. He reluctantly plowed on. “the 60s people kinda lost their mind, great art from the period but a lot of folks were recovering from being kids during the greatest ecological disaster. The 70s there’s big move of standardizing everything, making sure that plugs fit all over the world and all the measuring equipment can measure the same. Parts of America still insist on using standard but that’s more a local custom then a nation-wide standard at this point. the 80′s had a lot of discussion about the moon base, I think there was a big scare around a country grabbing it for themselves and a space war or something erupting over that, it was agreed to be a joint venture with every nation able to send people up, averted a lot of problems. The 90s are close enough I can remember ‘em, and there’s a ton you could focus on but overall it’s all about how to handle us living with these new batteries we’ve got, the Phazolyte batteries.”  This wasn’t exactly what I wanted to focus on, but Corv seemed to think it was important so I nodded and tossed in what I knew. “They’re batteries that mix with water to charge right?”

He coughed, shaking his head. “Yeah, I guess that’d be the second grader explanation. They mix phazolyte with water, and phazolyte causes water to be willing to compress as much as you push it, something it doesn’t want to do at all normally. S’why jumping off a bridge into water is like hitting concrete, all the force rebounds back into your body. With Phazolyte we get to store as much energy as we can compress into the water, then you just remove the Phazolyte and the water uncompresses, pushes against something, makes the electricity. And the Phazolyte, once removed, is good to use again, doesn’t lose anything in the process. It’s dead useful, and the last 15 years has been plugging that into everything and getting the supply chain worked out.” Corv coughed again, and glanced around. “That should cover the basics. Sorry we don’t have flying cars or nothing like that, I know you folks were keen on that.”

I stared at Corv for a long while. “Corv, that’s great. I’m glad you covered all the uh. The battery stuff. But.” I hesitated, glancing from him to the window to the chair he was sitting in. “You uh. Skipped the part about you.” Corv shifted in his seat again, glancing away from me. “Well it really isn’t all that important, it’s just part of the world really. I’m a British citizen, we still say god save the queen, we keep playing football-” “That seems like it’d be a bit hard for you to play.” I interrupt, glancing at how small Corv was. “I mean, Corv, you didn’t mention a damn thing about when birds started talking.” Corv looked what I thought was askance. “Well you did ask me to summarize.” He reminded me as his beak preened his feathers. “If I summarize I gotta skip the things that are less important. That’s how summarizing history goes.”

[true-blue-sonic]

How would The Councilmembers react to werehog Silver? What would each of them think of this new form?

Sheer unshakeable terror would probably be their first thought, haha. These people are used to nothing XD

For a more serious answer, the Council really is used to basically nothing: I figure that how the higher-ranked the scientist, the less they are taught about the suffering and problems of everyone with lower ranks (which is many people; I've tentatively put the amount of Teal Classers at around 80-85% of the populace, and the scientists themselves are also split up in many different ranks based on intelligence, of which the lower ranks also contain the most people. These scientists do live a better life than Teal Classers... but not at all by a lot.). It's completely opposite to the Council leader's interest that the smartest people in his city know there's civilians struggling and begin using their intellect to help out. Also, Onyx City kind of runs on unethical experiments, so the less his scientists see their snatched-off-the-streets subjects as sapient creatures deserving of respect, the better. But that does mean that Eliza, Albert and Porter already had to get tremendously used to the mere idea of being around Silver, a Teal Classer who simply does not care for all these unspoken societal rules and actively opposes them on top. For him to become like taller and twice as big and wayyyyyy more fluffy and even more aggressive than usual will shock them completely!

I honestly think Gold would manage the best out of the Councilmembers: she knows Silver most closely, and even if she's terrified of his new form at first, it takes minutes at best for her to see he's still mostly just himself. Plus, I think she'd secretly find it funny that he's finally taller than she is, haha! Sonic's Werehog form is 125 centimeters... so assuming Silver is the same, he's got 5 centimeters (2 inches) over her. He'll take that!! I figure Porter and Albert both share second place in dealing with this situation: Porter's the Councilmember who's best at remaining calm and rational in a socially constructive sense (Albert is calm and rational too but he's terrible at communicating with people), so he'll be able to ask Silver questions and figure out what's going on best. Albert meanwhile figures that this might as well happen amidst the absolute tomfoolery he finds himself exposed to on a daily basis (he's been Eliza's best friend for years), so he can ignore the strangeness of it all easily enough to focus on finding a solution. And Eliza, who is not at all a paragon of calm and rationality... Once she stops screaming, I think she'd be the most vocal about how fluffy Silver has become XD She's definitely gonna be the loudest about how surprised she is and will take the longest to accept Silver isn't going to eat her now, but once she does, I think she might be his main supporter in making sure he doesn't feel bad about everything that's been happening. Mostly because she thinks werewolves are cool and that Silver's also cute like this (Eliza likes cute things, which Silver tentatively falls under, except the fact that he's down to throw hands with basically anyone at any given moment if they tick him off enough. This includes Eliza, who wouldn't know what a verbal filter is if it slammed right into her face.), but she does genuinely want to help him out. Porter also thinks Silver's increased fluffiness is cute, but he's at least got the right idea that a teenage boy might not be so willing to hear such things, lol. And Albert is Albert: if Eliza were to ask him whether he also thinks Silver is cuter now, he'd just shrug. The right choice, because then Silver shows off his long stretchy arms and punches a hole into a wall by accident and it is right back to sheer unshakeable terror for a bit! XD XD

[neros-very-first-fiddle]

history of panic! at the disco except I’m only a moderate fan, so it’s not 100% accurate and I had to fill in some gaps with my imagination, so you definitely shouldn’t quote me on any of this

it is currently 1 am and this is the only thing in my head, so let’s go.

have I listened to every p!atd song? yes. do I know the history? absolutely not.

so, Las Vegas, right? there’s a bunch of high school guys who are in a band and everything is going great, but uh oh, they need some back up vocals. local loser teen Brendon Urie comes to the rescue with his mediocre singing skills (he can’t sing) (at least not yet) so the band reluctantly takes him on. they play a few shows, so pretty good for a high school band, then they release an album. did they get signed to a record label first? uhhhh, I’m gonna say yes. its Vegas, they might as well have been.

so they write their first album, “a fever you can’t sweat out”, and it does well! “I write sins not tragedies” does absolutely fantastic in particular. it’s emo, it’s young, and their target audience approves.

riding off that high, they do what any other self respecting cool, hip, emo band would do and they write a psychedelic folk album. because duh. and using my knowledge that the first track states “we’re so sorry we’ve been gone”, the album took a minute to make and produce. Two years to be exact. And that’s exact exact. A whole 24 months. Released it on fever’s anniversary and everything. Also; at this point, one of the band members dropped out. probably a drummer. their name? uhh, idk, probably frank, david, or pete,,

so they write another album. it’s called “vices and virtues” and it uses a bit more tech and it’s a good sound and it goes a bit more back into their rock and roll roots. they continue with their thing of going super heavy into eccentric album themes and where all these cool steampunk outfits in the mvs and on the album cover. then ryan ross leaves. and this makes lots of people sad because he’s ryan ross. but the album’s good, so there’s some consolation. also some of the other members leave with him. the bass player dipped and their drummer flaked again. he didn’t want to go on without ryan ross’s ryan ross-ness and honestly who can blame him? also fun fact! the bass player left for completely non-ryan ross related reasons. his parrot brother passed away and it really took a toll on the family. and no I’m actually not joking because another fun fact! parrots live really long and a lot of the times in families they’re raised along with the children and they become so bonded to the family that oftentimes they’re considered an actual part of it. I found that out from a podcast when one of the hosts said her ex had a parrot for a brother which made me break down laughing, but that’s honestly really neat. anyways.

after that they, you guessed it, write another album. this one’s called “too weird to live, too rare to die”. the album cover is very cool™️ and so is the music. and they have a new bass player! his name is dallon james weekes and he is actually The coolest person ever. lots of fans are upset with the new album because it’s missing ryan ross, but dallon makes up for it. Then he leaves immediately after they finish touring for the album. boohoo.

it’s the summer of 2016. death of a bachelor has just been released. I’m at an outlet mall with my family and am standing under a giant tree trying to catch some shade from the texas heat that burns on my black hair and my brother pokes me in the arm. he’s got apple music opened up to the album Death of a Bachelor by Panic! At the Disco. he asks me if I’ve ever heard of them. I say no. he offers me an earbud and I happily take it . he presses play on a certain track; LA devotee. I’m instantly transported to another world. the sound is like nothing I’ve ever heard before. it’s not like the Spanish music my grandma always plays or christian music or 80s songs my mom sings in the car or the show tunes I sing with my friends or the classic rock my dad always blasts. it’s different. and it sounds so distinctively like me.

suddenly I’m emo. a few weeks later, I’m at a sleepover and we’re singing death of a bachelor and I mess up one (1) lyric and one of the other kids calls me a fake fan. at that exact moment in time I make the decision to religiously listen to and memorize every single lyric off the death of a bachelor album. and I did. so take that, julia. (we’re still friends)(she absolutely does not listen to panic anymore)

oh hey, would you look at that. pray for the wicked just came out. for the first time ever, I count down the days, then the minutes to an album release. it’s really fun.

and uhhh, that’s it. it’s just one guy at this point.

[a-mag-a-day]

MAG 77 - hair dying session

"There is a stranger claiming to be my mother." - A capital S Stranger even!

"Everyone else says that she’s my mother, and gives me looks of alarm when I tell them she’s an impostor." - The Not!Them actually has some kind of Spiral vibes to it. Gaslighting is usually the territory of the Spiral and gaslighting will subsequently happen by the people who are under the Not!Them's influence. Melanie even asked Jon last episode if he's gaslighting her.

I feel really bad for the statement-giver. She sure had a shitty mum… Come to think of it, why does Jonny like shitty mums so much? xD (this mum, Martin's mum, Jon's grandma as "mum figure"… And then Jonny's actual rl mum had to read this, lol)

"But sometimes I worry that the reason we could never get on was that we were far too much alike." - Like Jon and Melanie!^^ There is something about stubborn, big-mouthed, (unkind) people, who I personally would consider arseholes, and that dynamic with others like them. Somehow I always felt such persons would get along with each other far better than an arsehole person and someone who is more considerate of others. At least the former feels more evenly leveled to me. With the other pair the considerate person would probably suffer under the arsehole, depending if that person takes it to heart.

"He moved up beside the plump old woman standing in the doorway and looked at me, smiling." - Oh, that sound that starts alongside the ambiance track right at the word "smiling" is really cool!

"I used to think I hated my mother; I really did. But now I can’t stop listening to those tapes, now I know they’re the only way I’ll ever hear her voice again." - Just like in MAG 75, I like the tragedy and dilemma of this statement. The statement-giver always resented her mother and now she desperately wants her back. Although this "new" mother seems to have a cheery personality, seems to be "a better mother" (except that it's a murderous monster of course) with nothing left of that cold, judging emotional abuse the statement-giver had to grow up with.

"Based on the interactions and effects, I suspect this to be the creature that Adelard Dekker refers to as the “NotThem” in statement 9910607" - Dekker name drop! And Gertrude actually does a good job at cross referencing here! Not so chaotic after all, or, not being chaotic when it's actually being needed. "Personally, I suspect it to be an aspect of The Stranger" - Smirke's 14 name drop! Referred to them by those exact names up until this point we have heard of The Vast (MAG 46) and The End (MAG 62).

"The sheer power that it must be able to call upon to be able to rewrite so much of reality" - ok so I haven't heard anything from SCP (well, not exactly, I listened to The Hanged King because it was recommended to me, but it didn't quite click with me), but a friend of mine (who still has to finish TMA. He's on MAG 50) likes the SCP stuff very much and he told me of a concept that exists there, which reminds me of this. Reality Benders. That one sounds super terrifying, so I might check it out some time.

Oh no, and now we get to the part of poor little meow meow…

"and given Melanie’s outburst last week" - well aaaactually… Melanie's statement was on the 13th of February 2017. That was a Monday! Given that MAG 80 happens on the 16th of February, so three days later on a Thursday of the same week of course, "last week" doesn't really make sense. This has happened before, MAG 22 happened on March 12th 2016. That was a Saturday. Apparently the archives team works on Saturdays?? And MAG 26, 2nd of April is also a Saturday. Though it makes sense here, as Sasha says he has woken up Martin, who lives in the archives at that point. They probably called Jon. Just a few episodes ago, MAG 70, the date matched up with the day of the week though. 6th January and Karolina Górka remarks that it was a Friday evening.

"How it works. How it ki…" - T__T Jon sounds so distressed. Determined to do something, yet absolutely smashed to pieces when this thoughts wander further than his mouth does.

Why does this podcast do emotions so well? T______T

I like the Spiral aspect of the Notthem, it can't feed if there isn't one person going crazy because they're the only person recognizing them for what they are

Btw we also heard of the Beholding and Desolation from Gerry in the hospital statement. Where else were they explicitly mentioned I wonder

[mollymagician]

Thanks for the tag @threefill !!

Tag game are always fun because I’ve got chronic insomnia and need something to do when I’m up at 4 AM besides tear my hair out over my wips. Answering here because this is where I keep most of my shipping nonsense.

What ship were you completely obsessed with as a teenager, but now you don't care about anymore?

Luke/Mara Jade. I absolutely still care about them, but they did Mara so dirty I had to put it down for a while. I was too mad.

Which ship would you consider your first one?

Okay so, anyone remember that TV show Beauty and the Beast in the 80s/90s, about the people who lived secretly in tunnels under New York City? And there was this guy (the ‘beast’) who looked like a lion person? And he was in love with Linda Hamilton? It was really fucking weird. Anyway. I loved them. LOVED THEM. ❤️❤️❤️

Your first fanfic was about which couple?

It was a little hurt/comfort thing about Luke/Callista from Children of the Jedi, because I’m nothing of not predictable.

My VERY first fanfic was a bunch of scenes of Artoo and C3PO sassing each other, but thats probably not the kind of couple you mean.

Do you remember the first couple you saw fan art of?

The first I can actually remember was some excruciatingly depressing art of Himura Kenshin/Tomoe. (Did I never see Luke/Mara fanart? Really? I must have. That’s weird now that I think about it.)

Have you ever gotten into ship discourse?

Er, don’t think so? Someone gave me shit once for liking Harry Dresden/Karin Murphy cuz Dresden is problematic and I told them to fuck off, does that count?

Did you use to have any NOTP or have one currently?

Reylo kinda squicks me.

Who were the last couple in the last fanfic you read?

Dream/Hob Gadling

Currently, do you have any OTPs?

Dreamling owns my entire brain, at the moment. It’s been YEARS since a ship hit me so hard.

Is there any couple that, to this day, that you are extremely mad about not getting into?

Sort of? I wish Babylon 5 had happened at a time when I could have gotten really involved in fandom, because I would have been bonkers over Sheridan/Delenn. I mean I was, I just had no outlet for it.

Is there any ship you used to dislike but now you think they're kind of interesting?

Nope

Do you have any ship that, in the past, would have been considered normal but now you would be cancelled over?

Oooohhh yeahhhh….James Norrington/Jack Sparrow, I’m guessing.

What is your favourite crack ship?

lol I dunno. I love Matthew the Raven so much, I always have the urge to ship him with someone but he’s, like, a bird.

What is the couple you read the most fanfics about?

Dream/Hob 100% hoo boy

What do most of your ships have in common?

“The grumpy/reserved one is soft for the sunshiny/sassy/wacky one.” It is like catnip to me, and also cocaine.

What do you absolutely hate in a ship?

One looking down on the other, 50 Shades of Gray style, you know the vibe I mean. There’s a difference between snarkiness and contempt.

Tagging @pellaaearien @glowwormz @zigzag-wanderer @ml-nolan @verminetroglodyte @aquilathefighter @snarkythewoecrow @ghostboyjules @kydrogendragon

[basedkikuenjoyer]

Jojolands - First Impressions

That’s what we’re doing here. I know I haven’t really delved into Jojo’s much before, but I know several of my mutuals are big into it and I am at least a fan of this bizarre multi-generational adventure. Still need to finish Part 8 but honestly...I’ll probably just wait for the anime. It’s too confusing for me to properly binge the manga. I’ll keep any actual spoilers under the cut, but first...

I’m sold. This intro chapter hooked me more than Stone Ocean. I’ve never really been into JJBA for the plot, I like what my boyfriend said when I got him to watch the dub. “This is one where you’re just here to enjoy the experience.” If I put it in art terms, something like One Piece is a very traditional story. It’s not exactly breaking a lot of new territory, more perfecting an established style. Jojo’s? That’s abstract art. Sure there’s an overarching story to each part and how they tie together, but you’re mostly just enjoying the vibe. And oh my god do I love everything about this vibe in Part 9. First and foremost though...

My newest beloved blorbo Dragona. Just gonna say this now and get it out of the way; it’s as worth getting hung up on pronouns as it is that clip of Izo referring to Kiku as his “brother.” Differing norms are going to make this finicky, especially when we’re talking about a Japanese author writing about Hawaii as a setting through the viewpoint of a 15yo younger brother. Little different, but I live in an area with a lot of Marshall Islanders. You sorta get used to it. We could ultimately find out Dragona is as much a “woman at heart” as someone like Kiku and referring to him as such still makes sense in context. Especially with an older Japanese author and there still very much being a mindset of like, not using “transgender” to refer to anyone except someone who has fully transitioned and treating it like a man becoming a woman there. Make sense?

All that to say, use your eyes and common sense over getting hung up on specific words. I’ll probably casually use she/her most of the time because it’s hard not to. Everything I see so far suggests Dragona also acts pretty girly and hell...I’ve known 18yo trans folk existing in a space like this while they sort themselves out. We’re clearly going for something in that bubble, I’m sure Dragona will have more room to clarify...it’s Jojo’s, just roll with it. Because by all accounts we’re looking at the sane, reasonable one in the group. And that’s cool, I’m definitely keeping an eye on this pair from the perspective of wondering if maybe, just maybe Araki was a little influenced by a certain pair of samurai “brothers” who like to play with similar territory. If nothing else, our introduction does show, not tell that absent being informed most people are going to read Dragona as female. Curious about those “cosmetic injections” as well.

With that out of the way, I adore our introduction to these new Joestars. Sets the time, locale, everything so well. They’re rocking out to Dua Lipa, hassled by dickhead cops, name dropping covid, cops one up the racism with transphobia. Then our best bros fuck em up. Awesome. These parts since Stone Ocean all track with an AU version of a previous part, and I love that we don’t waste time showing off our new cast as a twist on Passione from Vento Aureo. Though this time we aren’t screwing around with noble intentions. This is all about getting filthy rich and I’m here for it. Especially with my second love from this first chapter.

This bitch. Who is, without a doubt, 100% that bitch. If she has a Stand please let it be Lizzo inspired. Speaking of Stands, Jodio’s November Rain is cool looking and I like the reference...but of course Dragona is the better one with a nod to the absolutely legendary slow jam Smooth Operator. Given the similarities I love the jokes about “Sex Reassignment Pistols” Fun fact, 80s wrestler and guy who looks like he walked straight out of a porno “Ravishing” Rick Rude would sometimes use that song as entrance music. Does it sound like fight music? Nah, but he made it werk. Where the hell was I?

Right, let’s steal this diamond! Good hook, I’m invested and we have the gang together. Although I know this series well enough to know we’ll probably find a better motivation along the way (please be nice to momma and Beach Boy’s reference Barbra Ann Araki, she’s so loving) for now I love focusing on a gang of scrunkly criminals who make no bones about it. Jodio’s going to school solely to sell drugs, Dragona and Boss Bitch Meryl seem to have a lovely bond. Like I said, a part hasn’t hooked me this well since introducing Jolyene ashamed to have been caught paddlin’ the pink canoe. Part where I just died though...

Two words were all I needed to see to know Araki did his research on the islands. Spam Onigiri. It makes sense if you know the history, soldiers in WW2 brought Spam with them to a lot of these islands because it’s easy meat to ship and stockpile. It became popular trading fodder with locals, they still very much consume a lot to this day. Because it’s also something you don’t have to worry about taking a while to ship. And there are some dope Polynesian recipes built around using it these days. I’ve just personally always found that a fun quirk from the Marshall Islanders I know and past experience with people from Hawaii, Guam, etc. Will never forget a lab partner from Guam in college, said something about it and he was just gobsmacked. Had been going his whole time here wondering why it was so hard to find certain flavors on the mainland. 

Anyways, that was a lot of disjointed rambling to say I’m very excited about Part 9. Disjointed rambling is on theme though because it’s Jojos. Nothing bad is allowed to happen to Dragona or Barbara Ann. Paco and the weird guy? Meh. Jodio’s great because he’s a scruffy no-goodnik and proud of it.

[electricbluebutterflies]

Joel/Tess + neighbours AU

Didn't expect this one to end up close to 3k but here we are. Modern AU, rather nsfw (didn't plan that either), also on ao3.

Tess needs a change of scenery, or at least the different horrors of a middle-ring suburb. Somewhere it’ll be a little harder for her tendencies to get her in trouble, or at least different trouble, and-

On paper this is a hell of a slightly early midlife crisis, but something about her sees the words “fixer-upper” and thinks she’s watched just enough renovation shows in waiting rooms to at least turn this into a good distraction for a couple years or however it long takes her to DIY her way out of this. Never mind that she has no idea what she’s doing. She’s under-stimulated at work and kinda likes the idea of living somewhere the kids outnumber the purse dogs. This’ll be fine.

Or at least it would be if her new neighbors weren’t Those People.

She understands the appeal of outdoor maintenance, despite her own black thumbs – she killed a cactus with neglect, she was just out of town for a destination wedding, those things are supposed to survive months but it didn’t last a long weekend – and lack of interest in yardwork. She gets that most of the neighborhood does things the same way she’s inclined to, keeps it all neat and maybe a hanging basket out front but not overkill. But of course she goes and moves in next to someone who clearly has compulsions or something, whose yard looks like someone actually planned it, and that’s just the part visible from the front, their backyard has what looks like a complicated vegetable-growing setup and-

Tess is prepared to hate them on sight, whoever they are, whatever kind of people they otherwise are and it’s coinflip odds on sweethearts or assholes and she’s never been lucky. She is also prepared to spend the next couple months as indoors as possible, questioning every home-décor choice ever made in the 1970s, she’s pretty sure part of the reason the house was unusually cheap is the last owner died here – in their sleep and their mid-80s, if she heard right, but still – and good grief somebody liked orange a little too much and-

How she managed to get this place instead of one of those industrial demolition companies, she’s not quite sure, but she’s going to make it work.

She’s having a moment of frustration a couple weeks in – most of a weekend down an internet rabbit hole does not make her any more confident about removing what could politely be described as a chandelier – and it occurs to her that she doesn’t actually have a ladder high enough to safely get her hands up in that thing, and it occurs to her that Those People, who she has yet to actually interact with, probably do and will probably be horrified enough by her currently apathetic appearance to let her borrow it for a few hours. And possibly, if she brings it back without damage, other fun things she might need out of their inevitably thoroughly equipped shed and/or garage. Tess is nothing if not perceptive, and she’s half surprised she hasn’t gotten a please-make-sure-your-grass-is-even note in impeccable handwriting, and-

She’s not sure what she expects when she knocks on the door, but the man who answers – scruffy, gorgeous, just older than her enough to be hot – is somehow not it. To the extent that she has a type, this is her type, and fuck she’s finally going to add intentional homewrecking to her list of accomplishments (it doesn’t count if you don’t know for fact the other person has a tiny cute wife at home, fight her) and-

“I just moved in next door,” she says before this can get weird or she can do something fabulously reckless. “And I was wondering if you had a decent ladder I could borrow?”

Normal people do this, she tries to remind herself. Normal functional people who live in mid-ring suburbs occasionally ask favors from people nearby and it’s not weird at all. She’s used to a series of apartment complexes occupied by people who acted more like feral animals, and there’s a bit of that in her by association, but-

“What do you need it for?” the man replies, more curious than judgmental if she’s hearing him right.

“Taking down… fuck, I think somebody thought it was a chandelier but…”

Tess does not do the learned-helplessness thing, but apparently it’s obvious how far she’s in over her head. “Need an extra set of hands?”

“Never had someone I don’t know want to watch me get electrocuted,” she laughs.

“So, yes.”

She’s not going to say no, and she’s not going to waste an opportunity for what she swears will stop at light eyefucking, and she does notice there’s no indent of a wedding band on his hand but she’s seen the well-equipped truck out front and that may be more of a profession-related choice than useful information and-

The garage is as full of everything possible as she’d expected, but also a little more chaotic than everything publicly visible, and she almost has questions, and-

“Compromise,” he says like he knows what she’s thinking. “The kid’s not allowed in here.”

And now Tess has more questions, and… this is not the time, she decides, not while she’s testing the limits of someone’s patience. She can feel out the details of the personal situation later, after…

Her own living space is only neat because most of her worldly possessions are still in boxes, and there’s almost nothing in what must’ve been designed as a dining room except for the goddamned light fixture and-

“I don’t do a lot of electrical, but… you flip the fuse first?”

“Yeah. At least those were labeled.”

To be fair, she’d just meant to borrow a ladder, not make this entire project someone else’s problem, but… she’s also not complaining about that, and she’s going to have to return the favor somehow and she’s pretty damn useless as a person and-

She has a type, and how apparently competent this man is just makes her more interested, and she needs to run damage control against herself before she does anything and-

“You have time for this?” she asks, figuring that’s a safe opening.

“You mean like…”

“Anybody wondering where you are right now?” Fuck, that sounds creepy now that she’s said it, like she’s going to do something violent when the worst she’s actually thinking is how to get him under her, like-

“Kid’s doing something with her friends. That’s… it.”

Oh. Well.

Tess’s surprise must register or something, and she in general is apparently more expressive than she thinks, because her silence is enough to get her new acquaintance off the ladder and looking at her with more worry than she thinks another human has directed at her in her adult life. Oh, if this is how she makes it awkward…

“Saw your yard and I thought…”

“Kid watches too much TV. Her ideas and my hands.”

“How old?”

“Sixteen. Her mom left… a while ago. We try.”

Not objectively helpful information, Tess thinks – if anything, the implications that this man has been doing the single-parent thing impeccably for a good length of time just makes him more hot – but also exactly what she wanted to know and-

“I’m sorry if I got weird earlier. I make bad first impressions and… y’know, I try to behave but I’ve got eyes and you’re-“

“It’s alright.”

“Should’ve at least introduced myself first. Tess.”

“Joel. Nice to meet you.”

“I will… if you’re determined to save me from myself here, I will pay you. I’m not-“

“Conversation with an actual adult feels like enough.”

If she counts as an actual adult, the world is probably screwed, but…

“How much does that get me?”

* * * * *

It becomes something of a routine, after that.

Tess is determined to do as much of this minor renovation herself as she can, and turns out painting walls is a good way to burn off energy after work, but occasionally there are projects that she’s either not sure how to do or legitimately needs an extra set of hands for and that’s where the nice man next door comes in. Every time, she offers to compensate for the effort; every time, he turns her down. She’s covering materials and apparently that’s enough, and-

Every time, the thoughts about what could happen between them get a little more vivid.

They’re working on bathroom tile when she decides to actually do something about it, a project that she’d feel bad about if it wasn’t such a small space. Theoretically simple like everything else she’s tried to do, but her eye for detail isn’t great and it’s turned into her new friend doing most of it while she watches and hands him things and she probably owes him a kidney for this particular adventure alone and-

“So it’s just you here?” he asks, like he can read her damn mind and honestly she wouldn’t be surprised.

“Yeah.”

They’ve avoided most of the deep personal questions, instead talking mundane stuff like favorites, filling the space between them with whatever they can. They’re compatibly damaged people, she’s figured out that much, and he’s good like she’s not sure she is, and-

“Figured, but… had to ask.”

“Me trying to flirt with you still makes you think I’ve got somebody out there?”

“Can’t rule out an open relationship…”

Tess laughs – she does that more around him than most people, something inherently stabilizing about this dynamic they’re working out. “No judgement to anyone else, but I’m way too territorial for that. What’s mine is mine.”

He’s quiet for a while, places a few more tiles absolutely perfect, lets the tension rest. It’s not awkward, exactly, but the energy is different and-

“Understood.”

“Wasn’t saying… shit, I’m not sure if I wanna ask you out or pin you to a wall or-“

“I’d let you.”

She puts that information aside for as long as it takes to finish the project, until they’re cleaning up and she’s aware she looks good in this tank top, hair already a mess but she thinks she’d break him if he ever saw what she looks like when she tries and-

“Can I kiss you now?” she asks, just a little softer than necessary.

Joel leans down and puts his mouth on hers and it’s everything she wants, scruffy and warm and just a little hesitant, and she’s going to melt and she’s going to do something that’ll ruin them and-

“That good for you too?” Adoration in his eyes, she’s not sure what to do with this, she’s not sure-

Normally she does casual and easy to disconnect from, and she is well aware that screwing her neighbor is neither of those things and will, if it ends badly, ruin her life. But what if it doesn’t, she thinks. What if this is good? What if…

“We’ve got all the major stuff done,” she murmurs, thinking out loud. “If this gets weird…”

“You have your priorities,” he replies, almost playful.

“Been thinking about you all over me since I saw you, but… yeah.”

He takes another kiss, deeper this time, and she feels what he’s not saying, that he’s been having the same thoughts for a couple months now and wasn’t sure it was a good idea but fuck it they have nothing to lose and-

“You think I’d do all this if I didn’t like you?”

“Guess this is how I’m repaying you.” She’s seen that part coming for a while, the inevitability of it, and she doesn’t mind, she doesn’t-

“Not like that.”

“A little like that.”

She moves her body against his for emphasis, and she wants, she wants-

“Not like that,” he repeats.

“Think of it however you have to,” she replies, deciding this is as good a time as any to shed her tank top.

It’s been a while since she’s been with anyone under quite these circumstances – daylight in a hallway with someone she actually knows. A dry spell since the move hasn’t helped, enough of a crush that she’s lost interest in her previously normal routines, and-

While she’s stuck in her head, he gets her against the wall and gets on his knees for her, and she’s half confused and-

“This look like you repaying me?” he asks, hands on her waistband.

“Don’t know your preferences enough to know.”

She doesn’t push him away, and he takes that for the let’s-see-what-happens consent that it is, and… most of the men she fucks don’t go down on her, and she’s pleasantly surprised that this one wants to, and-

Something about how he undoes her makes her think he’s also on the tail end of a much longer dry spell, not that she’s complaining. She’s easy to work open, and he’s apparently as good at giving head as anything else he does, and she’s going to get herself ruined, and-

“Stay with me,” he breathes against her thigh. “Keep your eyes open.”

She doesn’t, when it matters. Something about the combination of factors gets her off faster than she’s used to, and that doesn’t stop him working her through, making sure she’s properly wrecked before he stops batting her clit with his tongue. They are ridiculously compatible, and she can’t remember the last time a partner gave her that much attention, and-

“That clear enough?” he asks, back on his feet and still way too clothed for her preferences.

“You want me to return the favor?”

“Stop talkin’ like that.”

Well, if this is how she ends up pinned to a wall, she’s not complaining.

She’s usually more assertive than this, but if someone wants to make clear how much they want her, she’ll go with it. It takes some pawing to get his shirt off before he lifts her up, and it’s just as well he was so thorough with his mouth because he’s as solid between the legs as everywhere else and-

Tess is pretty sure she’s in love, and pretty sure that’s not a normal thought to have when being fucked against a wall, and pretty sure she doesn’t care about anything else right now. She hasn’t been done this well in quite some time, maybe ever, and she doesn’t get off again but she at least gets warm enough to have a good time, and-

“Shit,” he says after, after he falls apart inside her with a sharp bite to her shoulder. “You on anything?”

“Implant. Don’t trust me with anything I have to think about more often.”

“Should’ve-“

“At least you’re asking now.”

“Still.”

She’s still half pinned to the wall, and she turns it into an embrace and oh they fit right with their bodies separated too. This better work out, she thinks, this better-

“What now?”

He gets a hand back in her hair, now thoroughly messed up. “Think that shower will fit both of us?”

Like she’d know, she’s tempted to murmur, but it’d ruin the moment. “Only one real way to find out…”

* * * * *

They make it work.

Desperate-hot sex and home-improvement projects are a weird combination to start a relationship on, but Tess is pretty sure she’s never actually dated anyone before, and Joel hasn’t in years upon years, and… at least they’re useless together, at least there’s that. At least they’re winging their way forward, slowly drifting into…

She keeps her own spaces, even when things get serious. It’s a better situation for both of them.

Her yard is still, no matter what she does, even when she lets the kid (Sarah, sweetheart, decides she likes Tess surprisingly quickly) try to help, the disappointment of the block. It’s fine. Comparison helps no one anyways.

A couple years later, just as Tess is starting to think that it might be time to propose now that she’s on the other side of forty and about as domesticated as she’s likely to ever get, she gets a phone call and apparently owes someone a huge favor and ends up sharing space with a teenage girl who reminds her a lot of the purse dogs she thought she moved out here to avoid and…

It all turns out okay in the end. Somehow.

[mfmilligan]

In the Midst #2

I don’t know why in the two and a half months I’ve been here, I haven’t thought to find a radio or anything that plays music. All this time, I’ve been living in unbearable silence and hating it so much. It just makes me so paranoid about going anywhere or being alone. Leaves too much room for my mind to imagine things that would make me more scared. If I had something that could play music, news, or literally anything, things would be a little better.

     I’ve also been thinking I ought to explore more. Like really explore. As is evident by the partial list I gave last time, a lot of this town remains a mystery to me. Mostly because I just walk the streets. Knowing no one is around doesn’t make the buildings any less ominous. Instead, it makes the houses feel like they could be sentient. It’s as if now that no one’s around, the houses have woken up and are watching everything – watching me.

     Anyway, I don’t like going inside. But once I have something to break the silence and save my sanity, I should. There could be useful things in the houses, schools, and offices. If nothing else, there might be clues as to what this world is. Its history, its people.

     If there were people. There would have to be people, right? Why else would all this be here? You can’t have architecture without someone to build it.

     Spent all day and nearly gave up, but I have music!

     First, I looked around the mall. I’d been through every store before, but I just wanted to double-check. When I didn’t find anything, I moved onto the downtown area. It has more restaurants and clothing boutiques, but I figured it was worth a shot. Then I was at the edge of Daisy Hill, checking every little place I could.

     By then, that very faint hiss you hear in town sounded louder. I’m sure it was just me freaking out inside, but it really did feel like something in the air was closing in on me. Trying to block my ears to anything else. It got to the point where I was too dizzy to walk. Plopped under a tree, I looked over at the identical cream houses of Daisy Hill, fearing today would be the day when I’d know them better.

     But as I rose, I saw something lying on the sand of a nearby playground (Blue Jay Playground = explored). It was a Walkman with headphones. At least, that’s what it looked like. The lettering for the brand name was mushed and illegible. That didn’t matter, though. Immediately I tried turning it on. Success! It worked without a hitch and it’s what I’m listening to as I write.

     The only downsides are these. I have no cassettes and even if I did, I wouldn’t know exactly how to use them (I was very small when they were still popular). On top of that, there are only two radio stations. One is constant static. And the other plays, well, Weather Channel music. Very 80s and 90s smooth jazz fusion stuff. I mean, it’s not the worst, but…I don’t know. It’s just bland and it makes me kinda sad.

     It makes me think of Uncle Jerry.

     He was one of the only relatives I have clear memories of. Probably because he was the only relative who was comfortable hanging out with his small nieces and nephews. Tall and robust, he wore only Hawaiian and polo shirts, a flat cap, and colored sunglasses. He was always either golfing or bowling. And wherever he took us, he’d always play The Rippingtons – one of those bands you’d expect to hear on the Weather Channel. The music bored me to death, but I liked being with Uncle Jerry, so I’d sit through every minute of saxophone and synths.

     He was the only one who noticed something different about me back then.

     “You look out the window a lot, kid. What do you see?”

     “What everyone else sees.”

     “No one seems quite as interested in it as you.”

     I shrugged. “I imagine things, too.”

     “Like finding shapes in the clouds?”

     “Hmm…” I caught my attention slipping and forced myself to look at him. “Not really. Sometimes I imagine stories. Other times I just…drift. I kinda go places.”

     He nodded. “You know, your mind is a powerful thing. Sometimes it’s scary, too. It can fill you with bad and sad thoughts. Or it can wander so far you feel lost.”

     Lost as in I feel like I’ve left my body? Like I can’t find my way back? I didn’t say any of these things out loud. Instead, I asked, “How do you get…un-lost?”

     Uncle Jerry turned up the volume.  

      “Music!” He tapped the rhythm on the steering wheel. “When everything in your head is big and loud or you don’t know where you are, you blare it all out with music. It brings you back to earth without bringing you down.”

     I don’t remember if I responded to him or not. Or if I went back to staring out the window. But I suppose I took his words to heart because I listened to music a lot more after that. I didn’t sense any magical changes, but music did keep me grounded. Especially in the teen years when nothing seemed to go right and all I wanted was to run away from everything.

     By then, however, it was too late to thank him for the advice. He died when I was ten.

     Sheesh…what am I doing talking about family stuff at a time and place like this? Nothing about my life before means anything here. Here I am, full of these old memories, thoughts, and experiences, and not a single one of them makes sense in this place. This world with no past and no future…

     I wish I wasn’t alone.

     Woke up from a bad dream. Heard something from beyond the fountain. I got up and walked over there and, as usual, saw no one. But a mannequin had tipped forward and was leaning against the display window. Must have lost its balance. The sound of it hitting the glass was probably what I heard.

     Nothing to worry about. Going back to sleep.

     I was going to explore today anyway, but I think it’d be best if I was out of the mall all day.

     The store with the tipped-over mannequin is a mess. All the mannequins were on the floor when I checked the store. A lot of clothes racks were thrown over, too. And there’s a big crack running along the back wall.

     For my sanity’s sake, I’m going to assume I slept through a little earthquake.

     There’s nobody else here so no one could have done this.

     There’s nobody else here so no one could have done this.

     There’s nobody else here so no one could have done this.

     No one.

     I’ve got my Walkman and I’m going out. There’d better not be anything else happening at the mall while I’m gone. If there is…well, I don’t know what I’ll do. Except maybe find somewhere else to sleep. If it was an earthquake, then that’s just another factor I have to live with.

     If it – god, this is going to sound so stupid. But if it’s the world itself doing stuff, then I guess I’d better learn its rules quick. And if it’s anything else, like some creature I haven’t seen yet –

     No, I can’t go there. Stop thinking these kinds of thoughts. Nothing has happened for two months. Nothing will happen. I’ve lived here long enough to know that nothing ever happens in this place.

     I’m just going to listen to the stupid jazz and explore. Everything will be fine.

[thessalian]

Thess vs Bad News

This country depresses the shit out of me.

A thing that’s been in the news lately was some lovely lady was growing vegetables in her allotment and giving them to the needy. Now, we probably wouldn’t have heard anything about this, except that someone else apparently took exception to this. Did they destroy the garden? Not quite in the way you’d think. They didn’t uproot plants that I know about; they salted the earth. I mean, I mostly grow herbs with the occasional strawberry and tomato; I tried some veg last year and it was only a partial success and I worked hard. I cannot imagine how that poor woman must have felt when she came to do some weeding and harvesting and found that. There’s no coming back from that. There’s no replanting until they can deal with the salination level of the soil. That’s just atrocious.

And then there’s Andrew Edwards, a councillor in Pembrokeshire. He has literally been recorded saying that “all white men should have a black man or a black woman as a slave” and “there’s nothing wrong with skin colour; it’s just that they’re lower class than us white people”. This is all still under investigation, because Edwards refuses to confirm or deny and threw it at an Ombudsman. I don’t really trust the Ombudsmen anymore, honestly, but ... oh, hell, I don’t even know anymore. I wouldn’t put it past any of them, honestly, either side of the political divide in this case.

Because there is no political divide anymore. Starmer’s throwing his entire party manifesto out the window to be in lockstep with Tory ideology, apparently trying to steal votes from them and ignoring the votes of people who don’t want any more of this shit. Recently backtracked on standing behind the Gender Recognition Act, instead saying he wants to “reach a consensus”. There is no ‘consensus’ to be reached here! Trans people just want to live as the gender with which they identify, and their allies want that for them; the other side wants them gone or dead! The only middle ground that exists there, if you want to call it that, is “They can exist but their lives have to be miserable and we have to be able to misgender them and force them into unsafe spaces all we want”, and that’s not existing! That’s not middle ground! That’s “Maybe if we make them unhappy enough, they’ll go away and / or die”, and that’s grotesque!

I cannot do anything about any of this. I live in what has been a fairly safe Labour seat (though I don’t know what’s going to happen in future given that Labour is just the Tories with a red tie now) but that means jack all when there’s an 80 seat Tory majority and a string of Prime Ministers we didn’t even get to vote for. We don’t get a vote for PM for another year at least anyway. I hate this country like you would not believe. I know it’s a vocal minority that’s being like this, but that vocal minority has the money and the power and the rest of us are stuck suffering for their comfort, all the way across the board.

So I may be ever so slightly depressed.

However, there are good things. My friends love me and I love them in return. My plants are thriving - my tomatoes sprouted already, and there’ll be pictures when the light’s a little less iffy (it’s been partly cloudy today, so the sunshine comes and goes). Somehow looking at my growing seedlings makes me feel better. And I still have a couple of days off and new House Flipper DLC, so there’s some Zen that should help. Though doing a farm DLC, and even looking at my plants, still gets me thinking of that poor woman with the allotment. At least her Gofundme to keep helping people is going well, but nothing will take away the sting of someone going that far to ruin so much hard work so completely. I hope they find that asshole and I hope they go to jail.

[the-firebird69]

Aliens

These are a particular breed of the xenomorph and they're more or less the same as the aliens from Independence Day one and two and they're just mutated a little differently and here they're mutated a little differently they look like grays but they're more like the larger one and they Kick-Ass and we know how to control them and you people don't

Thor Freya

Olympus

I don't know why you're posing as the people who are these creatures when you're not and just say you control them you don't it's irritating and our armies are mobilizing

Hera

You said you intend to attack us I sent it to our control and now you're in trouble and you don't know it and we use everything under the sun unlike when John reavillard wants and I am not a simpleton unlike what he wants and you're following this beast and every stupid thing that this moron says when he has absolutely no clue what's going on now today he has a little bit of a clue but this is the first day all those days before today were a waste of time there's only 300 years old and you're losing your faculty to this person because you want me abused I got that message too and from Tommy Allen. He's going to have a horrible time against Trump and the pseudo empire and he won't make it much further that to me is a waste of time. And so what the macs hv plan to import foreigners good for them that's ridiculous. It's very upsetting having to live with you people but thinking you know what you're thinking is terrible and what you think I'll tolerate is horrible you push people so hard if someone hides what they can do in a few ways you're doomed like the clan did now they've got a few secrets and I do too and you're going to get crushed and you've been crushed before and you see it don't care with the people in our face will be dead and then when something to do it will be dead and you're going to be left with a bunch of people who don't know much and don't do anything because that's how we roll. It's like the clans if they were big enough but you don't care about that either so I'm saying is you don't care about anything not the bottom line not the outcome and what you're doing is so hard and so difficult you can barely raise your head everyday it's horrible what you're doing to yourself showing just utter absolute weakness and forcing stupid things to happen yourselves and I mean the Mac proper you had so many of these idiots and surprising that you're alive at all there's nothing really to say back except it's all true and you're probably just sick

Zues true too on top of it you Mac proper I'm very irritating and you're going to get hit we have to Hera

Xherg got prepared for an attack and we know when and where

..

We shall inform you shortly yours are prepping them now and globally and she was accurate 25% are here 10 or 15% will be out by Monday and more during the week and that's a lot by the way these are a huge battles and giant numbers of bugs have been going up there in our destroyed it is feeding you those are coming out shortly it's good news so we'll print

Thor Freya

Olympus

It is strange that the charter begins when the Zerg going to be probably a quarter of their size and they're needed now they have not broken out the suits and they're just getting killed and they're very lame they can't even fight bugs but this is going to get big pretty soon this battle in the war although that's a lot of bugs to be out of here is still up the line it's probably 80% are still around and that's a lot but major battles are coming up in upstate New England and we will see them come to fruition very soon. Other things in the news shortly

Thor Freya

Olympus

[whatib]

Nature is Heaven and it's right here

I'm 58, and ten yrs ago (which is an eternity in today's time) I think I figured out why so many people younger than me are unhappy. (Mental health issues didn't start last year.)

When I grew up in the 70s, 80, 90s, nobody knew anything. If you wanted to learn absolutely anything, you had to go to a library and "try to find information". Whether it was how to play a guitar, or how to fix a leaky faucet, you had to work pretty damn hard to find an answer.

Life itself was an investigation into what comes next. You didn't see a billion videos on a website showing you what everyone is doing out there in the world. You only knew what was on a few TV channels, and magazines and newspapers. So you were EXTREMELY unaware of what everyone is doing in the world.

No skateboard videos, no car enhancement videos, no cat videos…there was nothing.

So life was a search. You were constantly searching for something to do, something new to see, a place to go, something to build. And it was only your imagination that created the day.

What else did that mean? You didn't know shyt about shyt about politics or corporate greed or Wall Street or millionaire homes, or homeless people. The only homeless I knew were in New York City or Africa. That's all I knew. You only found out more about that stuff when you grew older and it became more and more a part of the things you now watched on TV.

TODAY you probably know everything I knew in 1995 at 30yrs old, before you're even 10 years old. It took me to get to 30yrs old to start hating the world, and being upset at the Gulag, the Bosnian War, the Gulf War, Rodney King, Wall Street Greed. You're now hating the world at 12 yrs old or even younger, because you're already aware of war, hate, bullying, greed and all the rest. And I'm sure that isn't going to lead to any good emotions as you get older and angrier because you're seeing more and more hate and harm to others. We found that out in our late 20s when we finally stopped partying and started a career then watched the News like all adults did. kids that are 7 years old are now aware of that same information that used to be relegated to adults only for the most part.

Your brain is on complete overload with both good news and bad news. At 14 yrs old, with the information overload you now have, do you think anyone can make a quality assessment of how the world works? Anyone under 35 has a brain that is exploding with information. The choices are overwhelming.

You're seeing totally rude obnoxious people on YouTube earning millions of dollars. That alone is poison to your thinking and of what's right and wrong, and how the world works, or should work. How can anyone make good decisions?

It has to be astronomically difficult to be normal, be calm, and be hopeful in a world with this much chaos in it. (being you see it all right in front of you, without even having to search for it) The worst part of this whole ordeal is that YOU ARE THE FIRST PEOPLE to live like this. There's nothing to refer to. There isn't any guide because you guys are writing the guide right now.

You guys are screwed. I can't even offer advice, because my life at 30 was "go to the library." Today you have the Library of Congress in your hand. It's basically a find what works for you time period, and unfortunately you have way too many options.

The menu is huge. The menu is actually so big, that it would take you an entire lifetime to read it, before even making a decision. So now you want to know it all, but you don't even have the time to learn it all.

I don't even know what to say, but that I went through my midlife crisis in the 2000s. It was harsh, and hopeless.

A guy I became friends with, who is now turning 101 years old in September, gave me some books. Two of them were about worrying. Your midlife crisis is all about worrying, and I know you kids are worrying ten times worse than I ever did.

I learned how not to worry(so much). I've gotten it down to not almost not worrying at all. Almost zero. Had a tremendous effect on my outlook on life.

I learned when to say "I have enough" and not be jealous of others. FB and social media in general is jealousy heaven. Be careful. Jealousy will destroy you.

This only happened recently within the last decade. That M-effer Henry David Thoreau was right. Nature is the shyt. If you ever get to bird level, you'll be hopeful, you'll smile, you'll enjoy life, you'll feel like you're part of everything, and you'll be happy on a level that you never thought you'd reach. If you have a cat or dog that you love, imagine loving all animals with that intensity. It's Love Level 9000. I feed birds, squirrels, lizards, ducks and fish. They look at you like you're the shyt. They give you what you've been searching for, that's extremely difficult to get from people. Getting it from people is a life's journey, yet you can get it from the animals within a year or less. When the Blue Jay took the peanut out of my hand I cried like a bitch with happy tears and the smile was stuck on my face for a week if not a month. It occurred to me that, for that moment to happen, I must be doing something right. I've now embraced the sunset and the moonrises, clouds and the breeze through the trees. I can't even imagine any human being ever taking me to that level. Two manatees swam by me when I was snorkeling earlier this year. I still can't get it out of my head. My heart gushes when I think about it. Like completely overflowing with Love for the Universe for giving me that moment. I cannot be more thankful that Life gave me that moment….and I wasn't even searching, I swirled around and they were right there, 10 feet away. They came to SEE ME. I could literally die happy now. I'm done. Every day is now a bonus. I wake up laughing saying, Holy shyt! I'm here another fking day! I'm eating a strawberry Starburst right now! Yeah!

It's probably not the answer for millions or billions of other people, but I will say this. Every Nature nut that I know, is pretty fking happy. Try it is my only advice, and try to worry less if at all possible.

Oh the best advice "When your heart needs lifting, think of pleasant things" - Gandalf

The more my mind is thinking about the manatees, the less it's thinking about finances, bad relationships, my psychotic mother and all that other shyt. Gandalf gave the best advice ever

[glapplebloom]

So I found nothing about her before. Can I find something interesting about her now?

Julie-Su first appeared in the main Archie Sonic comic line in #53 where she gets introduced to the rest of the cast and... Does nothing of note. She wouldn’t appear again till #80 which is when I presume the Knuckles comics got discontinued. Still nothing of note. A generic leader when Knuckles isn’t away, but immediately does nothing because Knux’s Daddy takes over. She gets captured in #99, does nothing in #100...

I’m skipping her other appearances until I can note she does something besides being generic, exposition or Knuckles’ love interest. So #102 has a data file on Julie-Su. So when she was born, she was treated like an outcast by her two older siblings. Her father ignored her because he was leading the Dark Legion. She got memory wiped and placed with other people. Despite living in a loving environment, she felt something was off. So she joined the Dark Legion Troops at the age of 13. 

This eventually led to her meeting Knuckles. Now do you see the issue with this? We learn of her father being a leader of the Dark Legion. Her older twin siblings not liking her and doing everything in their power to keep her out of their hair. We even learn that her foster parents cared for her and knew the truth but were forced to keep it. But we really don’t know anything about her as a character. The big reveal to me is the Soul Touch thing which was probably mentioned prior.

Issue #109 introduces us to the Knuckles Family Tree. Julie-Su is the 5th Generation after Dimitri. Knuckles is the 17th Generation after Edmund. Why is this important information? Dimitri is Edmund’s brother. So technically Julie-Su is related to Knuckles. You could argue probably so far off it wouldn’t matter, but considering she’s technically his Great Grand Aunt, it's definitely creepy. 

We also see 25 Years Later Julie-Su is still expositioning what’s happening. And honestly, this storyline sounds more in line with the Dark Future Storyline Ian Flynn will be writing in the future than part of the 25 Years Later Penders loved so much. #114 has Julie-Su helping her parents move into a new apartment building after the events of the story. It's nice to see her interact with her parents. It's one of the first few showings of a character.

#120 has her mourning the death of Knuckles. Despite the fact she kissed him, she doesn’t know much about him. But the story is more about how Mighty meets Knuckles in this continuity. #122 continues the trend, this time with Vector. Might as well mention this now, but the two seem to have a rivalry since their first time together. Not that much since it's your typical Cyclops/Wolverine bit.

#131 introduces us to the proper 25 Years Later story as Julie-Su is the “talk to your daughter” kind of wife. To be fair, Lara-Su wants to be a Guardian and Knuckles doesn’t want her to be. Not to mention some unveiling that all female Echidnas have to do. #133 in the Past has Julie-Su meeting Rouge the Bat and being jealous. And her future self is in a nightgown talking to her 16 year old daughter. She’s an overprotective mother, so that’s something new. It also implies they’re not married.

#135 has her part of the crowd in the past in an apron in the future. I think with the Future they have certain priorities when it comes to Julie-Su. #136 continues that trend as Julie-Su talks with Sally about a get together. She also has a helper Koala. They make note of the weather but don’t think too much about it. #137, she’s figuring out something is wrong so she has good instincts. But she’s also in a towel after taking a shower. 

Skipping more so I don’t point out 34 more problems with Julie-Su’s Older Self being used for something other than character development. #141 has Past Julie-Su finally chewing out her older sister. And that’s it for important roles for Julie-Su under the Penders era in the comics. Now what about the Super Sonic Specials. She has three appearances in total...

Super Sonic Special #11 has a solo story for her. She has a visor to help detect stuff. And this issue she learns about her past. We see her routine while working in the Dark Legion. It's basically everything the Data Page said. Nothing of note in #12. #14 has her showing she has affection for these horse creatures. She gets captured. And that leads to a story in the Main Series.

Overall, a little bit more but nothing spectacular. We know of her past, but really nothing that explains her as a character. But with 34 appearances under a different writer, maybe she can improve.

[analogskullerosis]

Tagged by- @cowgirliee and @delanore-roosevelt

Rules: shuffle your “on repeat” playlist from spotify or the music service of your choice and post the first 10 tracks

Note: These are all from Spotify, but I'll also be providing Youtube links for any non-Spotify users. :)

1 : El Dorado - Magdalena Bay (https://youtu.be/mA6lKJNsrqg)

I enjoy the way that singer Mica Tenenbaum switches between Spanish and English on a dime. It's like how Sarah Bonito switches between Japanese and English on Kero Kero Bonito songs. I also enjoy the late 80s atmospheric synthpop vibe this song goes for.

2 : So Hot You're Hurting My Feelings - Caroline Polachek (https://youtu.be/sn3cHUtNZKo)

I want Caroline Polachek to kick me in the head and run me over with her car.

3 : Funky Duck - Vulfpeck (https://youtu.be/dhNfddJRulQ)

"He owns a truck, but he drives a Saab" is the line that keeps me coming back. Also, Antwaun Stanley is just a killer vocalist.

4 : Mr. Pink - Level 42 (https://youtu.be/Dt1APRRddS4)

Imagine this: a fun little dance contest for couples, but they have to figure out how to dance to every second of this song.

Every Slowbro I run in Pokemon these days is named after this song.

5 : pRETTy - Lil Yachty (https://youtu.be/8w3z-7Hq9Ak)

Yachty's weird vibrato moaning at the beginning of this song will not leave my head. It makes me laugh. Fousheé's guest feature on the second verse is great.

6 : Unconditional - Magdalena Bay (https://youtu.be/hQjqyxC97gA)

My new go-to example of how to define "catchy, fun pop song." Chorus is infectious and has gotten lodged in my brain for days, bass line rules, the whole song is everything I enjoy about pop music.

7 : Romanian Drinking Song - Vulfpeck (https://youtu.be/Xg-5ie0OCo8)

Theo Katzman is the greatest kazoo playing drummer of our generation. When his kazoo follows that bass run at around 2:43 it is nothing short of spectacular. Also, Joey Dosik's sax keys apparently got stuck near the end of the recording but it still sounded good enough to keep. These dudes rule.

I've been listening to Vulfpeck's Schvitz album pretty much on repeat all year so far. The whole album rules and this one is a fun highlight.

8 : Woww - Magdalena Bay (https://youtu.be/mb-PYrATAuI)

This is the last Mag Bay song, I promise. This song always reminds me of something that seemed like it came from the Kirby SuperStar soundtrack. This mini song features classic insults such as: "Get out my face / With your stupid face." Lyrical masterminds. Mica Tenenbaum and Matt Lewin are the best pop duo working today.

9 : I Don't Want It At All - Kim Petras (https://youtu.be/JC9FA8lZRy8)

My personal issues with Petras aside (she REALLY needs to understand why people have a big problem with her choosing to defend and keep working with Dr. Luke, infamously known as the man who sexually and emotionally abused Kesha) this song rules. Like "Unconditional," this is everything I really enjoy about modern pop music. It's fun, it's catchy as hell, and Petras is fantastic performer. She's been deserving of the recent hype she's been getting (criticisms aside).

By the way, in case you were curious, yes, Dr. Luke is one of three producers on this song (though it's not under his usual name. He likes to use aliases sometimes in order to hide it... probably no big reason why). Yes, I can still enjoy this song despite knowing that. No, I don't think he should be allowed to keep producing pop hits.

10 : Live and Let Die - Paul McCartney & Wings (https://youtu.be/ZwnX0iqKDdQ?t=7)

This has been on repeat because I plan on writing about it (which you will be able to find over at @therecordconnection in the next few days. Shameless plug? I don't know what you're talking about.)

I'll at least say that this is in my Top 5 of 007 movie themes. I love how explosive and cinematic it is and the way the song randomly transforms into a reggae beat halfway through for like 40 seconds ("What does it maaaatter to ya?") is classic McCartney songwriting (even though that bit was provided by Linda McCartney). It's good stuff. Wings' two 1973 albums, Red Rose Speedway and Band on the Run, both turn 50 this year. They're worth your time. :)

Thanks for stopping by! These are always fun. I'd like to tag @memento-more-tea @themarvelousinterrobang @tahlwyn @the-mind-wanders @oleskellybones and anybody else that would like to join in! :)