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kairakeiji · 3 years ago

Text

only | tooru oikawa

pairing: oikawa x reader

tags: fluff, friends to lovers

word count: 2.0k

i'm pretty sure inez is on hiatus so i won't tag her but this was for her :D

“okay,” you nod, laughter leaving your lips as you turn to your friend.

oikawa’s gaze shifts to you at your place around the small fire, “what’s up?”

“you know what i regret about my final year in high school?”

he quirks a brow, “what?”

“that i never got to fall in love.”

a beat of silence follows your words, the fireplace feeling as warm as ever as the two of you on the rooftop of your apartment building. despite summer approaching faster than ever, there was still a chill in the night air, one that made you pull the small blanket draped over your figure closer.

it’s your last week of school, and you and oikawa always had this tradition of sitting on the rooftop, turning on the small fireplace, and just talking. with your busy schedules, especially around the end of the school year, it grew hard for you to see each other. so during your first year, the two of you made a promise to return to the rooftop before your final week of school, to light the fireplace no one else in the apartment building seemed to use and to just talk.

but now it’s your last week ever of high school, the last time you and oikawa would venture up to this rooftop together.

there’s a sense of nostalgia to it, the idea that you might never come back up here with him, the thought that this fireplace would go back to normal and be completely untouched by the other residents in the building. it reminds you a bit too much of your past few years of high school, and what a ride they were.

the boy meets your eyes once more from his place on the adjacent couch, a blanket of his own wrapping his figure and a can of soda in his hand. “what do you mean?”

“it’s just,” you start, eyes flickering towards the calm flames in front of you, “there’s this idea of the perfect high school experience, the perfect boyfriend, the perfect prom date, and the perfect relationship,” you explain. “the two of you go to dinner every week and spend nights at each other’s houses and go on these perfect dates and share umbrellas when its raining.”

“you know that’s just in movies right?” oikawa cuts in.

“i know,” you nod with a small sigh, “most of high school is already romanticized as it is. but,” you pause. “i just wish i got to experience even the real life version of high school love.”

“it’s really nothing special,” oikawa shrugs, taking a sip from his soda can.

“what?” you tease. “your one girlfriend did that much of a number on you?”

“okay enough about her,” he waves off, rolling his eyes as he leans back into his chair. “you and iwa do nothing but tease me when it comes to her.”

“it’s kind of funny in my head,” you think. “you jumped into a relationship with her incredibly quick. you only knew her for what? a month?”

he nods wordlessly.

after all, he’s known you much longer.

“that’s not a lot,” you hum. “i always thought you were the type to approach love rather cautiously.”

oikawa quirks a brow at your words, “really?” you nod. “interesting,” he hums, “how so?”

“i don’t know,” you mumble. “you just seem like the type.”

“what?” he laughs, “you’re just basing this off of some kind of vibe you’re getting?”

“yeah, pretty much,” you mumble. “i mean you’ve got this ego that hides how you truly feel, i kind of assumed it would be the same towards love ya know? like walls hiding away your heart from the one person you truly wanted to give it to.”

and that leaves him at a loss for words.

“sorry,” you mumble, “hit a little too close to home?”

“what do you think?” he questions with an annoyed sigh, but you know there’s no malice behind his words. you knew him better than most, and that involved being quite familiar with the side of him he often hid from others.

“why’d you even date her anyway?” you hum, leaning back into the small chair, gaze still locked on the fire. “i mean you never really brought her up to iwaizumi and i until after you got together.”

“for the same reason why you have regrets,” he lies.

“because you wanted to experience high school love?” you question.

he nods, knowing that if he said anything you’d see right through him. you were the only person that truly could.

his ex’s confession just seemed to line up with when he got supposedly friendzoned by you. he still remembers what you said to iwaizumi that day. platonic soulmate, you called him, the words seemed to ring through his head to this day. he was your platonic soulmate.

but oikawa couldn’t understand why he couldn’t just be your soulmate.

after all, he’d done his best to give you all of the high school experience that you could ask for. you both hung out more often than not, you spent more nights at his house than you probably did at yours, he was your date for dances, even coming up with elaborate posters just to make you smile.

that word platonic just seemed to mock him, it’s a word he just wanted to get rid of it completely from your description of him. you only saw him as a friend, and nothing more. he hoped his ex could help him move on, yet all she did was make him feel worse.

“the worst part of it though was that she dumped me,” he sighs.

“all because of volleyball too,” you hum before looking at him. “i mean she had to have known that you’d spend more time playing volleyball,” you reason. “you’re literally team captain and the star player.”

he shakes his head, “definitely not the star player,” he rather honestly retorts.

“oh shut up, you literally are,” you ignore. “that reasoning though was just...odd.”

that reasoning was a lie.

oikawa told his ex about his feelings for you, and his apology signified the end of the relationship. because even after a couple months of being with someone else, even after a couple months of going on dates, bringing flowers, and loving someone else, he still couldn’t help but think about you. but there was no way he was going to tell you that. so he lied, he lied to the one person who could supposedly see through him.

except you had yet to do so when it came to this.

“it was,” he sighs. “but what can you do? the past is in the past.”

“and we have nothing but the future ahead of us,” you finish before meeting the boy’s gaze, “what about you? have any regrets?”

of course he does.

oikawa nods rather nonchalantly, “i do.”

“do share,” you hum. “but only if you want to of course.”

“i wish i went to nationals at least once,” he mumbles.

“i knew you’d say that,” you sigh. “do you regret going to school here?”

his eyes widen, “what? no, absolutely not,” he answers. “i love it here, it’s where iwa is, it’s where my team is.”

it’s where you are.

and the fact that he leaves that out is another regret he adds to his list.

“i see,” you hum. “it would’ve been nice to watch you guys play at nationals.”

he quirks a brow, “you’d go?”

“of course i would,” you nod. “i mean it’s a free trip to tokyo right?” you laugh.

and oikawa swears it’s music to his ears.

“any more regrets?” he asks you. “you gotta get it all out there before it’s too late right?”

“i have a few,” you hum.

and he hopes that one of them has something to do with him.

after all, he’s running out of time with you, and he still has a couple more things to say to you.

“i wish i asked that guy out myself my first year,” you list. “apparently he liked me back?”

“he did?” oikawa questions a bit louder than he’d like.

“he did,” you smile. “maybe he could’ve been my high school romance.” there’s a beat of silence before you continue. “i wish i didn’t spend all my time at home and went out more, i wish i didn’t ruin things with that one girl, i wish i actually spoke to my friend and fixed things instead of leaving him behind, i wish-”

there are tears in your eyes before you can even realize that you’re rambling, unpacking the baggage you had yet to deal with.

and oikawa’s watching you unravel before his eyes, each “i wish,” sending a chill of his own down his spine.

“i wish,” you sniffle. “i wish i got to see my uncle one more time before he died. i wish i didn’t start that fight with my friend. i wish i didn’t lose as many friends as i did,” you quickly wipe the tears in your eyes, watching oikawa’s face fall at the sight of your tears.

he’s rushing instantly to your side sitting down next to you, the pads of his fingers wipe away your tears. your head rests on his shoulder and his arm instantly goes to your back, pulling you a bit closer.

“i wish,” your voice is soft, it’s shakes and trembles and oikawa swears his heart shatters.

“i wish i told you i love you.”

and now there’s a knot in his stomach.

“i wish i told you sooner.”

it tightens.

and there’s a silence that lingers, one filled with your soft sniffles and the crackling of the fire next to you as oikawa rubs circles into your back. your head still rests on his shoulder, breath a bit more steady as your tears slowly stop, relief washing over you at the fact that you didn’t need to feel anymore regret towards that last item on your list.

you’ve been terrified of telling him for years, constantly watching him being adored by fangirls and wishing you could measure up. it’s quite pathetic, you think to yourself, that you did nothing but pine for him all these years yet still wish for that high school romance.

if you said something, it could’ve happened.

and that realization only adds salt to the wound.

oikawa’s voice is soft when it breaks the silence.

“you wanna know what i regret?”

your voice is barely above a whisper, “what?”

“i wish i told you that i love you too.”

and his words instantly get your attention.

you pull yourself off his shoulder, “you do?”

“it’s my biggest regret,” he nods, a soft smile on his lips. “although, i don’t think we need to regret it too much now.”

“we have one week left,” you mumble.

“that’s more than enough time for us,” he answers, the distance between you both slowly decreasing. “one week to have your high school romance.”

and a small laugh from you follows his words as oikawa closes the gap, his lips finally meeting yours. the sounds of the crackling fire and your racing heartbeat rang through your ears as you cupped oikawa’s cheek, not missing how he leaned in impossibly closer to you. there’s a laugh that leaves his lips as you two pull away, resting your forehead against yours, feeling as if you’re on cloud nine.

it’s euphoric.

he’s euphoric.

your head rests on his shoulder, “now how long have we been regretting this?” you tease.

“longer than you’ll ever know,” he answers. “but it’s okay, now we’re just making up for lost time.”

it’s your last week of high school, the last time you and oikawa would ever be on this roof together following the tradition you’ve kept for the past three years. but this time, as you looked into the fire once more with his arm over your shoulder, there’s no regret in your system. no “i wish” or “what ifs” clouding your mind. instead, there’s hope, hope now that your feelings are finally out there, hope because he feels the same way as you.

hope that this would be the love you always wanted.

thank u so so much for reading!! reblogs are always appreciated <33

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