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uvobreakmylegs · 4 years ago

Text

Prey

got a request for a monster!Uvo as well as a request for an Uvo fic where he chases the reader. hope it’s cool that I combined the two of them

@ramwrites and I are in agreement that werewolf is the best type of monster for Uvogin

werewolf!Uvogin

Warnings: death, blood, gore, body horror, little bit of smut, graphic depictions of violence, mentions of cannibalism, attempted suicide, implied kidnapping, reader does not have a good time

Thin rays of sun that were able to slip past the branches of the trees hit Uvo's back as he went about his work, placing another upright log on the now considerably worn down tree stump and bringing his axe down upon it, slicing the wood in two and tossing the pieces into the pile to his right before he grabbed another unchopped piece from the pile to the left. Based off of the sun's position in the sky, it was only a bit after midday. Uvogin had been going at this for a while now, his sweat staining the white tank he wore.

Though the sweating wasn't because the work was in any way debilitating. Any other day of the month Uvogin would've been able to chop the same amount and not even break a sweat.

No, today was different because of what was happening tonight: a full moon.

Even though the night was still a long ways off, Uvo could already feel the very beginnings of his transformation shuddering through him. Faint, but still noticable. Unfortunately, with the ever present fact that nightfall wouldn't come for hours yet, there was little he could to other than to keep himself busy and distract himself lest the anticipation kill him. So he continued to chopping the logs, even though the amount he had cut already was bordering on excessive.

In the midst of his distraction, his ears perked up when he heard the faint rumblings of a car engine. His senses of smell and hearing were always pretty good even when it wasn't close to a full moon, but those senses were ten times as sharp now, and he could clearly hear as the car came in closer and closer.

Whoever they were, they wouldn't be the first people to have approached him today. Already he'd been asked two different times for directions to the nearby campgrounds, the first time by an elderly couple who were likely well into retirement, and the second by a group of individuals who had also gotten lost. The woman from that group who went up to him told him more information than he'd needed to know, informing him of how theirs was a company sanctioned team-building retreat. She had a piece of gum in her mouth and smacked it loudly as she talked, and because of his sensitive hearing, the sound of it became distressing to the point that Uvo had to keep himself from clawing his ears off.

Everyone in that group deserved to die because of that woman alone.

Uvogin didn't stop what he was doing even when he heard the car drive past and then suddenly brake, just continuing as he was while he heard the sounds of a car door opening and someone stepping out. Words were being spoken; what was being said exactly he couldn't say, but based off of previous experience it was easy enough to guess.

The car door slammed shut and the engine rumbled again as the car began to drive further down the dirt road. It'd be back in a little bit – over that way was a dead end. But Uvogin quickly switched his focus to the footsteps he heard walking through the unmarked pathway and headed towards him.

“Excuse me?”

He heard your voice call out to him, and Uvo finally turned to face you. Upon making eye contact with him, you smiled and held up a map as you called out again “sorry to bother you, but I was wondering if you could help out with some directions? We're looking for the Visca lake campgrounds, but I think we've been going around in circles.”

You didn't come any closer when you said that, though it seemed to be more out of a desire to not intrude on his space as opposed to being nervous about the axe he was holding. There was a hopeful look in your eye, though you also seemed ready to apologize for bugging him if he instead told you to fuck off.

Already he knew he liked you much better than the bitch from earlier.

“Sure,” he replied.

Uvo set the axe down and walked towards you, his hand outstretched so you could hand him your map. You smiled and handed him the map without any hesitation, coming up beside him as he unfolded it and scanned the paper so he could give you an idea of what direction you needed to go. The height difference between the two of you meant that he needed to lean down a bit as he pointed out to you the appropriate road that would get you to your destination.

“The road to the campgrounds is here,” he told you.

Despite the way he had tried to accommodate the height difference, you still needed to stand on your toes to see where he was pointing. Your arm came up briefly before you swiftly pulled it back. Like you'd been tempted to place your hand on his forearm to better balance yourself but stopped yourself since the two of you were complete strangers. Though Uvo wouldn't have minded too much if you had done so. Taking advantage of the way you were right next to him, he inhaled, memorizing your scent for later.

Uvo then moved his finger towards the left as he continued “we're around this area, so you'll want to drive back the way you came and take the first right you see. Then you'll want to take another right to get onto the campground road. As long as you don't fuck up turning, you should get to the lake in about ten minutes. Maybe less.”

“Ah, okay!” you responded, taking back your map as you looked over the route he'd pointed out to you. As you were desperate to make sure you got his directions right so you wouldn't need to be in the embarrassing situation of messing up his instructions and needing to go back to him for further clarification, you didn't notice the way he was looking you over or how he inhaled more of your scent.

Your hair smelled of something flowery, some kind of hair product you must have used that morning before you drove out here. Your clothing also had a rather soapy smell, though it wasn't as noticeable as the product in your hair. Beneath all of that, he was able to take in your natural scent that was free of any products or chemicals, as well as... Perfume? An odd choice for a camping trip, he thought. Then another smell hit him, one that surrounded you but you were definitely not the source of.

Oh.

It was the unmistakable scent of another man.

The perfume made more sense now. You'd said 'we' earlier as well, so chances were you'd come here with a boyfriend for a romantic weekend getaway and his smell has just gotten all over you after spending several hours cooped up in a car with him.

Not terribly displeasing. A boyfriend being in the picture might make things a bit more interesting.

“Okay, I think I've got it,” you said, snapping him out of his thoughts, “sorry if I took up too much of your time.”

“No problem,” he answered, “I get a lotta people asking for directions, so I'm used to it.”

“Really? That sounds like it gets annoying. Why don't they put up signs or something?” you asked.

“They do,” Uvo said, “but they usually get taken down by vandals.”

More like self-righteous teenagers who'd found out the truth about him and couldn't stand the fact that the elders of the nearby town allowed Uvogin to do as he pleased and thought they could thwart his killing sprees by taking down the signs leading to the lake, like they could save any innocent vacationers if they weren't able to find the campgrounds. Those kids had yet to learn that if they managed to deprive Uvo of his prey, he'd be forced to go to their own town and hunt there, maybe snatch up one of them or their families. The older folk in charge of the town understood that, and they'd decided that it was better to let the occasional out of town stranger be his prey than risk him coming in and picking off whatever stragglers he could find in their community.

People vacationing in the wilderness died all the time, after all.

“Vandals?” you asked. There was the slightest bit of concern in your voice, and when your eyes went slightly wide as you looked at him, he couldn't help but muse at how cute you looked like that.

“Just dumb kids,” he explained, “there's a small town a little ways back and I reckon they don't have much to do around there.”

“Ah, I see. Do you think we'll need to worry about them bothering us?”

“Nah, they wouldn't do anything,” Uvo said, “besides, they know that I'm out here today, and they know better than to bug me.”

You laughed a bit at that, any deeper meaning to his words going over your head.

“I can't blame them. If I was one of them I'd be too scared to do anything to get on your bad side.”

Uvogin just smiled.

A voice then called at the top of the path, and you both looked to see a dark-haired man around your age standing there. He called out what Uvo assumed was your name, and you waved to him, calling out a short “coming!” before you turned back to Uvogin.

“Thank you again for your help. I really appreciate it,” you told him.

“Once again, not a problem. Hope you two have a good time.”

You smiled and nodded at him, and then began to walk back over to your boyfriend. But before you had the chance to bid him goodbye, Uvogin spoke again.

“You wanna know something that's not in any visitor's guides?” he asked.

“Huh?”

He grinned at your slightly confused expression as he explained “if you go down to the southern side of the lake, there are these really beautiful cliffs in the forest. A lot of clearings that show a pretty good view of the sky, too. And it's a full moon tonight; if you want to make some memories, you should check it out when it gets dark.”

Clearly intrigued, you turned back to face him, asking “really? Why isn't that part advertised?”

“The locals want to keep parts of the lake to themselves,” he said, “but I think it's something that you might appreciate.”

“You sure you won't get in trouble for telling me?”

“Not if you don't say anything,” said Uvo, raising an eyebrow as he smirked.

“Ah, gotcha,” you said. Behind you, your boyfriend was starting to look a bit suspicious, and his lips soon formed a frown. You weren't paying him any mind at the moment.

“What's your name?” you asked.

“Uvogin.”

You held out your hand as you introduced yourself, and he humored you by giving you a handshake.

“Thank you so much for everything,” you said, “maybe we'll see you again while we're here.”

“Maybe.”

With that, you finally turned and made your way to your awaiting boyfriend, who gave Uvo one last narrowed glance before he turned his attention to you as you eagerly pulled your map back out and began to tell him the directions that had been given to you. Your boyfriend only gave one more glance towards Uvogin before focusing his full attention on you, looking over the map with you before the two of you made your way back to the car. He seemed rather boring, Uvo thought to himself. Yet before you made it back in, you stepped up and kissed your boyfriend on the cheek. Uvo saw the way your boyfriend stiffened and the blush that reached his ears as he sat down in the driver's seat to escape your random but sweet action. You laughed as you entered through the passenger's side, and Uvo kept an eye on the two of you until he saw your small, light blue car pull away and drive down the road.

When the two of you were gone, Uvo went back to chopping wood, picking the axe back up and slicing the log into two even pieces. He didn't expect that anyone else would come blundering into the forest before evening, but if they did, he wouldn't pay them much mind. If he killed every single person who came in to enjoy the lake he would quickly lose that particular food source and then need to find another area to hunt.

No, the only ones that were on the table tonight were the company group and you and your boyfriend – he wouldn't bother hunting down that elderly couple as it wouldn't be interesting in the slightest to go after them. The larger group had a good number of people in it, so there would be no need to seek out anyone else. Honestly he shouldn't even bother with the two of you, but Uvo thought of you again, thinking over every action you had taken, from the way you had approached him to how you held out your hand when you introduced yourself.

The little bit of affection you had offered to your boyfriend also came to mind but he brushed that thought away. It was unimportant, he told himself.

No, he shouldn't bother with the two of you, but he wanted to see how your naive little expression might change when you saw him next, after the moonlight had transformed him, and hear how you might scream and cry as he hunted you down.

He grinned at the thought, and when his axe came down again, it sliced the log and the stump beneath it clean through.

The true beginnings of his change had started hours ago when the sun sank past the horizon and the moon slowly rose in the night sky. Just little things, like the way his teeth began to shift in his mouth, or how the black tips of his claws were starting to show beneath his fingernails, slowly pushing up beneath the nails and trying to force themselves out so he could have an easier time tearing apart whatever unfortunate victim happened to be closest to him.

His skin was starting to shift a bit in places as well as it began to detach from the muscle beneath, and he was hit with an overwhelming urge to run outside and allow his transformation to complete so he could go wild as he always did on a full moon night.

But he waited, forcing himself to focus on the fire that was burning before him, to wait until it had gone out completely before he stepped foot out of his cabin.

It had turned into something of a ritual for him; when he had started it he could no longer remember. It was purely ceremonial, and at the heart of it he knew that it did nothing to add to his hunt, but after being alone in the woods for so long he supposed he was entitled to a bit of superstition. And at this point, it would have felt wrong to do it any other way. When the fire went out, the moon would be at the highest point in the sky, and when he left the dark cabin and bared himself to the moonlight, his werewolf form would tear through and he would track down the victims he had met earlier in the day, the ones whose scents he had remembered after he'd chosen them for his prey. Didn't matter much in what order he got them, just whatever scent he came across first.

Although maybe tonight it mattered a little bit. If he could manage it, Uvogin wanted you to be the last one to die tonight. After the group from the company retreat and your bland looking boyfriend, he'd hoped he could then have you for last. Something about that made him feel like that would be the only appropriate ending to the night.

But that all depended if he could manage to remember that after he'd transformed.

The light of the fire was growing more dim, and he was having a harder time sitting still, his entire body itching to burst through the cabin door and let the moonlight take him.

Not yet, he told himself.

But soon.

Those black claws were showing a bit more now, and at least two of his fingernails had popped off, blood coating his fingertips as his hands clenched onto the skin of his legs. That same skin shifted once more as he did so, and after a few moments he felt something trickling down his thigh, and when he glanced down he could see in the faint glimmer of firelight the hole in his skin that he'd torn open, and the dark fur beneath the human flesh that was still covered and the blood dripping down his leg.

Not yet not yet not yet

A few more agonizing minutes later that had seemed endless in his mind, and finally the fire he'd begun earlier was reduced to a smoulder, the flames dying out and the wood glowing red as the fire reached the end of its life.

Now

No sooner had he thought that Uvogin had thrown open the cabin door and ran out into the woods that surrounded him, bare as he gazed up at the full moon as he allowed himself the moment that he'd been holding off on.

There were multiple changes simultaneously and Uvogin was barely able to comprehend all of what was happening to him because of it. There was always a pain that accompanied his transformation, and while it was a pain that he was used to at this point, it was pain nonetheless.

At the sight of the moon his green eyes turned yellow and his pupils narrowed into slits, while the bones in his body began to shift and grow. It started with his spine, extending and pushing out through his skin and almost causing a ripple effect through his whole body. His bones were snapping and stretching beneath his skin, growing as his muscles were expanding and making him into even more of a giant than he already was. Claws on his hands and feet tore through the flesh that surrounded them as those parts of him extended, the skin ripping open and allowing more of the fur that was hidden underneath to show through.

When he felt the flesh around his shoulders stretch out in an attempt to accommodate the transformation he sped up the process by reaching up and tearing it away with his own fingers, the black claws easily ripping in and pulling the skin away like a latex glove. Soon the skin that had been on his arms sat around him in pieces on the grass and he began the same process with his chest and legs, tearing away his flesh in messy strips and allowing the fur that had formed on his body to be exposed, matted with blood and looking almost black in the light of the moon.

His skull went through the same process as the rest of his body, and he felt his face crack into several different pieces before the bones began to remold themselves and pushed outward, taking the shape of a wolf's muzzle while his teeth extended and shifted to fit properly in his newly formed mouth. When his ears began twisting and pushing upwards into sharp points was when he tore at the skin on his face, pulling it off as he had done with the rest and throwing it to the forest floor.

When the last of his human flesh had been removed, his transformation was complete. The man who had stepped out of that cabin was gone and replaced with a large, bipedal wolf whose yellow eyes dilated as he looked up once more to the moon. Lifting his head up, he arched his back as he let out a howl loud enough that echoed through the woods and across the surface of the lake. Those that heard it in the nearby town quietly whispered their prayers to whichever gods they worshiped while those who were visiting the lake's campsite merely marveled at the sound.

If Uvo was in a different mindset he might have thought of you in that moment, and what you might be thinking when you heard him. If you had any clue of the danger you were in.

But in this moment, there was no thought of you or even saving you for last as he had tried to so hard to ingrain into himself. There was no thought of doing this in any order or trying to end the night correctly as he had mused about earlier.

The only thing going through Uvogin's mind was the need to kill.

As luck would have it, he'd managed to kill the ones from that company first.

There had been more of them. More that were wandering around their campsite, more that were talking amongst themselves, and in general just making more noise that, combined with their scents from earlier, allowed him to find them first.

There were actually more of them in that group than he'd anticipated, and as he killed off the last woman in the group, gum falling from her mouth as he twisted her head completely around. Uvo then looked around at the carnage he'd left in his wake. It was hard to tell with the way they were all in pieces now, but the number of people group had easily been in the double digits. That would probably cause a bit of trouble, as it would be hard to try and cover this up. This would easily make the news. Annoying, as Uvo would need to make sure to lay low for a bit, and it could possibly lower the amount of potential victims in the area when the next full moon came.

But it had still been worth it.

Uvogin felt more like himself again now that the murderous urges had been sated. Able to think a bit more clearly, more rationally. And he was able to remember you and what he'd hoped for early on. He could imagine it: your scared expression as you watched him kill your boyfriend before he slaughtered you like the rest, your screams cutting short as he bit into the skin of your neck and tore out your throat.

Now that his hunger was taken care of, he left the campsite of the now-dead group. Right now all he wanted was to find you and your boyfriend.

Remembering what he had told you of the southern side of the lake, he took a gamble as he headed off in that direction, making his way through the woods at speeds much faster than a regular human would be capable of. He stopped when he felt the wind blowing again, and lifted his nose in the air, trying to see if he catch anything.

….. There

It was faint. Very faint, but he managed to catch a familiar human scent.

He turned and headed off in your direction. It was too far away to get your exact location, but it was enough that he could get at least an idea of where you were.

Continuing towards the south side of the lake, he stayed close to the shoreline until he found your little blue car from earlier parked close to the lake, a tent set up not too far off from it. Your scent became a bit more clear as he came closer, and yet when stopped to scan the area, his eyes looking for the slightest bit of movement and his ears straining to hear any bit of noise, he couldn't find you.

A bit annoying, but based off of the way the two of you had left things, you should still be in the area. It was just a matter of hunting you down.

Uvo stalked about the campsite, just in case he missed something while also puncturing two of the tires on your car and cutting off that potential escape route. Satisfied that neither of you were on the site or next to the water, he walked back into the woods, following after the little bits of that fragrance he'd latched onto.

As he walked, he thought to himself with some amusement that you'd actually taken up his suggestion. Uvogin had found that most people didn't bother, either because they were too dedicated to the plans they'd made before arriving or because they didn't trust that the landscape was as beautiful as he'd made it out to be. In fairness, it mostly all looked the same to him, but there had just been something about that particular bit of campground that made him enjoy hunting there more. So it was even more perfect that the two of you had ended up there. Most likely you were just doing what you felt like and didn't feel like adhering to any particular schedule.

His ears perked up as he heard a low voice in the distance. Not yours. Probably your boyfriend, then. Focusing himself so he could move silently, Uvogin weaved through the trees, his eyes searching for you while he listened for more noise from either of you.

When he heard your voice next, he had definitely gotten closer. Your voice had sounded odd, though. Almost breathless.

He found the two of you in a larger clearing that stood beneath one of the cliffs he had spoken of. You were laying with your back on the grass, dressed in a swimsuit with only a shirt over it. Your boyfriend was in a similar state with the moonlight falling onto his bare back, and it looked like both of you were a bit wet, some drops of water still on your skin and hair still damp. So the two of you had gone swimming before you wandered over to this area to mess around.

You said something to him before the two of you shared a kiss, and you moaned into it when he slipped his hand under your shirt to grab at your chest.

It certainly wasn't the first time Uvo had come across a pair of lovers in the woods. Such encounters usually ended with one or both betraying the other, as several times in the past one would push the other into Uvo's path in an attempt to save themselves after having a passionate make-out session only moments before.

Uvogin stepped out from the treeline and waited for one of you to notice him. You let out another moan, and to him it sounded like it was slightly exaggerated. Was your boyfriend not that good? Not too surprising, based off of Uvo's impression of him.

If Uvo had been the man on top of you, he was certain he could do much better.

….. Where did that come from?

Uvo didn't get much time to wonder about that as he heard you let out a sharp gasp, and when his eyes refocused on you, he saw that you were looking right at him. Your eyes were wide and your skin paled as you stiffened, your hands grasping at your boyfriend's arms.

“What's wrong?” your boyfriend asked when he noticed your reaction.

Keeping your eyes on Uvogin, you answered him in a small whisper “there's something over there.”

Your boyfriend turned his head to where you were looking, and he went stiff as well when he saw Uvogin's werewolf form.

It was quiet in that clearing, free of any noises from any woodland animals or even the insects, as anything that was in that immediate area sensed the danger and were desperate to keep silent. No, the only sound Uvo could hear was your breathing that became more panicked as you struggled to keep it under control and the way your boyfriend tried to shush you while he broke out into a cold sweat. You two were both under the impression to stay still and not make any sudden movements for fear of provoking him.

Then your boyfriend whispered your name.

“When I move,” he breathed out, “I want you to run back to the car and get out of here. Even if I'm not with you, you have to take the car and leave.”

As he spoke, your boyfriend slowly moved his hand over to a pack beside you that Uvo hadn't noticed at first. Still, Uvo grinned. He thought he could take him on?

You tried to protest but your boyfriend wasn't hearing it, only repeating his instructions to you and trying to make you promise that you would do as he said. You didn't want to; that was clear, but when you looked back over to Uvogin's form outside the treeline, you shuddered once more and agreed to leave with a short nod.

Uvogin waited for the boyfriend to make his move. He looked just as terrified as you were, but he was clearly trying to be brave for your sake, and his resolve seemed to steel when he got a hold of whatever he had been searching for in the pack.

“Now!”

Your boyfriend yelled as he shot up and charged at Uvo. For the first time since seeing him, Uvogin felt mildly impressed with your boyfriend; he'd been genuine about wanting to save you over himself. Not like he wouldn't still die for it as he was still incredibly weak, but there was something to be said about the willingness he had to face down a beast like Uvo for your sake.

You must be something special to make a man go that far for you.

The thing your boyfriend had pulled out turned out to be a can of bear spray as well as a medium-sized hunting knife. Uvo managed to doge the stream that had been aimed at him easily on account of how badly the hand that held it had been shaking. The boyfriend ran back a bit, unwilling to get too close to Uvogin even with the knife. He tried to aim it again, but Uvo used his claws to slice at him, slashing upwards as he aimed for his throat.

Somehow, he missed the boyfriend's throat and only managed to hit the side of his face, opening up his cheek and taking off his ear. The boyfriend cried out at that, one hand going up to his bleeding cheek while still trying to incapacitate Uvo with the bear spray. But with the way he stumbled about, it was almost too easy for Uvogin to grab him by his face and hurl him into the trunk of a nearby tree. He hit headfirst, and there was an audible cracking sound that came from the impact. Uvogin didn't even bother to watch the way his body hit the ground, experience telling him that he was definitely dead.

Uvogin was much more interested in you.

You were still in the clearing. At first you had done as your boyfriend had told you and bolted the second he yelled, running back to your campsite. But you stopped and turned back when you heard him cry out when Uvo had slashed at him. You wanted to help him but you also knew there was nothing you could do, and so you were left standing in the clearing, your whole body shaking as you struggled with the decision to stay or leave your boyfriend behind.

It was cute how loyal you were to him.

And loyalty certainly wasn't a bad quality.

When you saw your boyfriend die you froze, tears streaming down your face as you looked between the now dead man and the thing that had murdered him. You were clearly in a panic, your legs trembling as your brain struggled to figure out what to do, where to go from here. Certainly you had to be aware that you'd lost any chance of getting away like you'd been told to do, right?

Apparently not, as when Uvogin stepped forward you bolted, running back towards the camp. Yet Uvo found a sense of relief with that, that you wouldn't just sit there and let him kill you and end it so early.

For whatever reason, that last thought displeased him.

But he brushed that away as he chased after you only moments later, not bothering to be quiet with his movements and instead being as loud as possible, breaking apart any low-hanging branches in his wake as he howled into the night air once again.

You had only made it a little ways past the car when he emerged from the forest and lunged towards you. It seemed like you were trying to get away on foot given the damage to the car. Already there was a scent of blood in your wake, as the soles of your feet had already been cut up on the sharp debris of the forest floor.

You turned towards him just in time to see him raising his clawed hand over his head before he sliced it downwards. Through what must have been some bit of luck, you stumbled backwards at that moment and all he managed to do was give you a flesh wound.

You hit the surface of the gravel road hard, crying out in pain at the force of your fall as well as the cuts that were on your arm, your hand immediately grasping at your wound as you desperately tried to use your legs to get yourself off of the ground.

Then he was on top of you.

He opened his jaws wide; you saw as he did so, and attempted to crawl out from under him.

He snapped his jaws shut on your throat.

And you went stiff.

It was quiet for a few moments.

And then a small rush of air escaped from your mouth as you let out a breath you had been holding.

Almost.

He had almost killed you in that moment.

The pointed tips of his teeth were pressing lightly into your skin, not quite hard enough to make you bleed, but that would change if you shifted your neck just slightly.

Why had he stopped?

He stayed there, hunched over you, his arms caging you in while his maw was around your throat. He felt the pulse in your neck beating wildly, almost causing vibrations against his teeth. You had stopped struggling, your legs still while you continued to clutch at your wounded arm, the only noises coming from you now being your uneven breathing.

What was he doing?

His yellow eye glanced over to your face, and he found that you weren't even looking at him. You were gazing in the direction of the night sky, where the light of the moon shown down on you like a spotlight, but it didn't even seem like you were even looking at that. Your eyes were wide as you breathed hard, and Uvo had to wonder if you were currently seeing your life flash before your eyes. That perhaps your mind had accepted that this was the end of your life and was remembering as much as you could before Uvogin would sink in his teeth and sever those major arteries in your neck.

Were you satisfied with all that you had accomplished up to this point, or were you disappointed and felt that you should have done more?

Moments passed like that, his hulking form engulfing yours with no movement from either of you. He took in a deep breath, and he once again caught some of the flowery smell of your shampoo, though it had largely faded by now, and you smelled much more like the woods after the hours you had spent there. More like pine and tree leaves, and the fresh water of the lake, and....

Uvogin let out a short grunt that made you whimper and you clenched your eyes shut as you believed this to be the end. You had no clue that Uvo could smell your arousal coming from between your legs. It had come from the way you'd been fooling around with your boyfriend earlier – there was no way you could have been turned on by this.

Uvo thought again of what he had seen when he stumbled upon the two of you, and that odd thought that had interjected at one point. You had been on his mind almost all day, and he thought it was because he wanted to kill you. And now you were beneath him and the moment couldn't have been more right, and yet now that was the last thing he wanted to do.

It hit him then. The different urge he'd had about you since he had seen you earlier in the day, since he had seen the way you treated your boyfriend; the way you had kissed that man had stuck out in his mind. Hardly any different than any other couple he had seen who were too big on PDA, yet combined with the way you had first come up to him, had smiled and thanked him, and introduced yourself so willingly while also asking for his name had made all of the difference in the world.

His days in the woods were lonely. It was something Uvo was well aware of but had thought he could handle, and he had done so for several years now without issue. But now that he knew you, with your actions and your touch and even the sweet scent of your arousal that he wished more and more that he had been the cause of, another second of being alone sounded more like torture.

Still, the biggest reason he had stayed on his own for so long was that he had accepted that there would be few in this world who would be alright with spending the rest of their lives with a man-eating monster. And any that he may have wanted to keep alive despite that probably wouldn't have been worth the trouble. Keeping someone else with him would also mean he would need to put in the effort to keep them alive, and if he had them unwillingly he'd need to make sure they wouldn't be able to get away, either by restraining them or locking them up.

He watched you, watched the way your face stayed scrunched up as you waited for him to finish it. He wanted you, but were you worth the trouble?

When Uvogin pulled off of your neck and sat back up, you meekly opened your eyes in confusion and trying to anticipate what horrible thing he would do to you next. You yelped when he grabbed you by the back of your shirt as he stood, pulling you up to your feet and setting you in front of him. With one hand on your shoulder and one on your hip, he turned you so you were facing away from him, making sure you were steady on your feet.

He leaned down so his maw was right next to your ear, and in a voice that sounded more animal than human, he growled out a single word:

“Run.”

With that he pushed you forward. You stumbled a bit, your brain still processing what he had said as you barely took a few steps away from him. Then, like a lightning bolt had hit you, you finally seemed to understand as you snapped back and made a beeline for the woods. Your bare feet were loud on the cluttered forest floor, and he occasionally heard little gasps and soft whimpers of pain when you cut your foot open further on a rock or a sharp branch.

Uvo waited, wanting to give you a good head start before he began to chase after you. It would be easy to track you, especially with how much you were bleeding now, but he shuddered with barely contained excitement, eager to chase you down but knowing that he needed to give you a decent head start or else it would be over too quickly.

If you proved yourself worthy of keeping alive, then he'd take you back to his cabin.

And he really hoped you wouldn't let him down.

…. But then something felt wrong.

Uvogin's eyes narrowed as he sensed that you were still within the immediate area and not moving away from him as he had expected. The direction you had gone in was the same one the both of you had come from; the patch of woods and the clearing where he'd found you in the pathway. There wasn't anything there that you could have fallen over or gotten stuck on, so why....

A new thought occurred to him, and Uvo growled lowly to himself as he hoped he wouldn't see what he felt he might when he found you next.

You were back in that clearing, sitting next to your boyfriend's fallen body. Your body was facing the direction Uvo had arrived from, both of your hands in front of you as looked down at your now former lover. There were tears rolling down your cheeks as you sat there.

A wave of disgust hit Uvogin as he found he was correct and was thoroughly disappointed with your actions. He'd given you a chance to get away and you'd wasted it by sitting around crying. Clearly he had given you too much credit.

You heard him as he began to walk towards you, and he noted the way your hands slipped beneath your boyfriend's slightly upturned body, your head still downcast.

He stood across from you, letting out a huff that made you flinch. But still, you didn't move from that spot.

As he opened his jaws your head shot up and you lifted your hands from beneath the body.

Just as you did so, something sprayed into his nose, eyes and his open mouth. Something that stung and made him gag. Fuck it burned, and Uvogin let out a howl of pain as he clutched at his face.

The bear spray-!

Something sharp then dug into the flesh beneath his collarbone, and the pain from the bitter spray was accompanied by the sensation of a knife blade stabbing into him.

With another howl as he was now blinded, he swiped a hand in your general direction and heard you yelp as he simultaneously clawed your shoulder and forced you to the ground. With his hearing now being his greatest sense, he managed to pick up the clatter the bear spray can made as the force of his blow made you drop it, and he moved one of his feet to stomp at it, crushing it and making it useless.

Uvo roared again as he swung about wildly, trying to catch you once more, but you managed to avoid his attacks and made your way into the woods again as he heard your labored breathing and footsteps growing fainter and fainter.

He clutched at his face as he tried to make himself calm down, trying to will away the pain and regain his sense of sight and smell.

…. Not bad.

Even with the rage he had felt in the moment, he found himself relieved, almost happy that you had caught him off-guard. You had gone as far as to use your boyfriend's body as a prop, to make him think that you were too broken up about his death so he would lower his guard. Had you been a bit taller, you could have done a decent amount of damage if you'd managed to stab the knife into his throat.

The knife was still in him, he realized, and after regaining a little bit of his sight in his left eye, he easily pulled it out and threw it across the way.

Now you had no weapons, but he was also at a disadvantage as his eyes were still watering and he could no longer smell you as clearly, the harsh chemicals of the spray making him internally wince every time he breathed through his nose. If he wanted to catch you, he would need to rely almost entirely on his hearing to search for you.

The sounds you were making were quite distant now, but he grinned to himself and stayed there a while longer, letting you get further away.

The direction you were going had no civilization, there was only forest for miles, and he was happy to let you get yourself more and more lost if it meant that his hunt would continue.

By the time dawn was nearing, signaled by the sickly pale color the sky had turned to, Uvogin had managed to chase you further into the wilderness, up through the trees and near the edge of a cliff face. Throughout the night there had been times where you had slowed or stopped completely as you tried to regain your strength, taking advantage of your smaller size and slipping into places that he couldn't easily get to. You also had several brief spurts of energy where you had sped up suddenly, more determined than ever to get away from him while you threw various stones and branches back towards him, though you never tried anything else as bold as you had with your trick from earlier as you didn't allow him to get that close again.

But as you stumbled to the edge of the cliff and looked at the steep drop before you, it was clear to him that your fight was gone. He knew it even before you fell to your knees on the sharp rock. The chase had ended, and just in time, as daylight would be here soon, and when that came he would revert back to his human form.

It had been one of the most memorable hunts he'd had in years, and even though your will had been broken in the process, by now he was certain that he wanted to keep you. To have a little partner in his solitary life, someone to keep his bed warm and wait for him to return home in the evenings. The scenario was nice to think about, and he especially liked the idea of you cuddling up to him during the colder months of the year, trying to keep yourself warm with his body heat to fight the chilly air that would sneak inside. Maybe eventually he'd get you to give him sweet tokens of affection like you'd given to your boyfriend, perhaps a kiss on the cheek before he went out to hunt.

And maybe every once in a while, if you were still insistent on putting up a fight, Uvo might let you out during a full moon and make you think you had a chance to escape, just so he could hunt you down and drag you back to his little home in the woods.

The thought of it gave him chills, and he wondered how long he would need to wait before he could let you out.

You were lightly swaying in place as you looked to the ground below while Uvo was consumed in the thoughts he had about you. He assumed that you were just waiting for him to finish it – your willpower was dried up, and there was no way you would try to run around him or do anything as stupid as try to climb down the cliff face.

He had no clue where your thoughts had taken you in that moment.

Realization shot through him when he saw your shoulders sag and your body began to fall forward over the edge.

Uvo rushed forward and grabbed you by your shoulder before you fell off and he threw you back, a good distance further and far rougher than he had been intending, as you wailed weakly when you hit the ground.

If you were willing to kill yourself to escape him, he'd need to wait some time before letting you run about the woods again.

By now, you were covered in dirt and blood and whatever else had stuck to you from the forest while you had run from him. Your skin was covered in cuts that he and the forest had given you and it would likely be some time before you would be able to properly walk again based off of the state of your feet. When he approached you once more, you clenched your eyes shut again. By now you were past the point of tears and just waited for him to finish you off.

You jolted at the feeling of his fur brushing against your skin when straddled you once more, but just as before, the killing blow you were expecting never came. You opened one eye, and just as you did so, the first rays of the sun shone over the landscape beyond and hit Uvogin.

You watched in silent horror as the fur that covered him caught on fire and began to burn. He was briefly consumed by the flames before they vanished into puffs of smoke. His bones were snapping again, breaking into pieces and retracting back into their normal size while his muscles and skin rippled and shrunk back down, tightening around his fingers as the claws also retracted and vanished beneath the skin. As his wolf face broke apart and reformed, there was a look of shock in your eyes as you saw the beast on top of you become more and more human. And that shock soon turned into a realization when you found that you recognized the man who was on top of you.

His transformation back to his human form was over in a matter of seconds, and when it was over and his green eyes looked back down at you, you stuttered as you tried to find your voice.

“U-Uvogin?” you asked weakly.

He grinned, pleased that you had remembered his name.

Without another word, Uvo leaned down over you so he could begin the process of properly claiming you as his.

#reader insert #uvo x reader #Uvogin #hxh uvogin #yandere #yandere hxh #yandere x reader #yandere hunter x hunter #yandere uvogin #monster #uvogin x reader

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nctsjiho · 4 years ago

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2 AM Healing [Part 2 of ‘2 PM Suffering’]

Click here for Part 1

warnings: explicit language, consumption of alcohol and medication, suggested attempted suicide (overdosing on pills and alcohol), anxiety

era: April 2021

❀ Things seem to take a big turn after Taeyong and Doyoung go check up on JiHo

“Wah~~ I can’t wait to get in my bed.” Haechan sighed dramatically as the 4 boys from the 5th floor were waiting on Taeyong to open the door.

The shoot had dragged on for a while, along with some other schedules and now it was a little after 2 at night. Johnny and Haechan had been whining about how tired they were and couldn’t wait to sleep. “At least take a shower first Haechan, you stink.” The older of the two snickered, earning a shocked expression from the smaller boy. “Hey! I don’t-”

“It’s past midnight and we have neighbours. Be quiet already.” Doyoung sounded annoyed which had the two boys shut up quickly. “And you, why are you taking so long.” Doyoung rolled his eyes at the leader who had yet to open the door. Taeyong rolled his eyes as well at the attitude of Doyoung and before he could say anything else, Taeyong pushed the door open.

Meanwhile, inside the dorm, JiHo had curled up into Xiaojun’s side. She had been sleeping for close to 12 hours straight now, the severity of her exhaustion very clear to Xiaojun. The only time JiHo had woken up, was when Xiaojun had gotten up to clean up the food he dropped when first entering her room. He quickly cleaned and went to the bathroom before joining a whiny JiHo back in her bed. He had sung a few more songs for her and decided to go to sleep as well after she had comfortably slotted her body into his side.

Completely forgetting that he had to send updates to Doyoung, Taeyong, or at least Kun about JiHo - partly because his phone was out of battery and otherwise because he physically couldn’t move because of JiHo’s deadly grip on him - he drifted off into his own dream world and hadn’t woken up since.

As the residents of the dorm arrived the first place Doyoung went to was JiHo’s room. His hand had barely made contact with the door handle when Taeyong stopped him from entering. “Is this a good idea? JiHo’s probably sleeping at this time.” Doyoung scoffed at the comment. “We haven’t heard from her since we left, for all we know she’s dead in there and you’re not even going to check.” “Kun said Xiaojun-” “Well Xiaojun hasn’t picked up his fucking phone once!”

The leader hadn’t seen Doyoung this mad before. He knew he was only worried about JiHo, so he could excuse his anger completely. Yet despite that, Taeyong was still taken aback by the amount of poison was spilling from the black-haired man’s lips. “Okay, let’s check.”

Doyoung softly pushed the door open, such a contrast to his earlier tense body language. Upon opening the door the light which came from the hallway illuminated the room, revealing how messy it was.

JiHo wasn’t the tidiest member when it came to her own room, but the visual Doyoung and Taeyong were met with was quite shocking. Pillows and blankets seemed to be thrown off the bed and even to the other side of the room. But among all the mess a certain few items had caught Doyoung’s eye.

Rather confused as to why Doyoung wasn’t commenting on Xiaojun and JiHo comfortably - a bit too comfortable to Taeyong’s liking - sleeping on her bed, Taeyong eyed his dorm mate closely. He watched as Doyoung reached out to a small white container, one he wasn’t familiar with.

Suddenly Doyoung let out a chuckle. Not a friendly-sounding one though. Not friendly at all. “What’s this?!” He suddenly yelled which startled not only Taeyong but also the two sleeping friends. Xiaojun jumped up from beside JiHo as he saw the two older members watching them.

“Doyoung hyung-” “Pills and alcohol?” He sighed in disbelief. JiHo was still laying down in bed, her eyes squinted as she tried not to strain them. “Lim JiHo? Please tell me you didn’t drink.” When JiHo only fell back down in her spot from her previous hoisted up position Doyoung already knew the answer.

He turned to Xiaojun, who was wide-eyed, seemingly terrified about the way he was woken up. “You know how dangerous this is?” Doyoung shook the pill bottle in front of the younger boy’s eyes. “Why didn’t you answer your damn phone?! If you found JiHo drinking and taking pills you should’ve taken her to the hospital!” “I told him I was fine.” The girl mumbled from where she had buried her face into her pillow. “Of course you would tell him that!”

“Or did you give these to her? JiHo normally doesn’t drink or take medication. So did you?” Xiaojun frantically shook his head. He’d never do such a thing and the fact his hyung thought he would, made him feel cornered, not being able to defend himself.

Doyoung’s chest heaved and so many thoughts crossed his mind. “Let’s calm down for a bit okay?” Taeyong carefully took a step closer to the two boys and placed a hand on Doyoung’s shoulder. “Calm down? This kid didn’t do anything after knowing JiHo mixed alcohol and pills and afterwards climbed into bed with her!” “That’s enough!” Johnny yelled from the doorway. “I’m just stating the facts!” “GET OUT!” A higher-pitched yell resonated through the room, followed by a few painful coughs.

All eyes were on JiHo’s heaving figure, as the boys were afraid to say or do anything. Everyone but one. “JiHo-” “Doyoung can you shut up for one goddamn second?!” JiHo yelled, sounding so desperate. “I’m just trying to help.” “You’re not only worsening my headache, but you are also chewing out my friend who has been taking care of me while I was alone. Xiaojun did nothing wrong, so let him be.”

A few seconds of silence followed before Doyoung approached his younger friend. “I’m sorry I wasn’t here, but he shouldn’t have let you sit here after taking those pills and drinking. You know how bad this could’ve ended-” “For God’s sake, oppa you don’t get it. You weren’t here, so you don’t know what happened.” She groaned in defeat. Doyoung’s stubbornness wasn’t helping her growing headache, the one she had been able to forget due to her hours of sleep.

“I don’t have to be here to know that mixing these is bad!” “Can you stop?” “Do you want to die?” “YES!” JiHo stood up from her position, staring directly into Doyoung’s eyes with watery eyes. Everyone in the room collectively gasped at the youngest’s answer. Haechan who had joined after hearing the commotion felt his eyes fill with tears as well.

JiHo gulped as she felt the crop in her throat forming and blocking her airways. The two best friends just stared into each other’s eyes not knowing what to say. Doyoung was still processing what had just been said and JiHo was going over all the ways to explain herself, but she couldn’t find the right words.

“Is that why you took these?” Taeyong reached out to grab the bottle from Doyoung’s grip. His question caused the girl to break eye contact with Doyoung and she immediately shook her head. “No. I never thought- That wasn’t my intention. I didn’t even know this was alcohol. I didn’t mean it.” Her voice trailed off.

“How could you say something like that?” Doyoung’s voice was dangerously low and it scared JiHo. “I didn’t mean to. I promise I didn’t.” Doyoung just shook his head in disbelief before facing Xiaojun. In just a split second he had grabbed onto the collar of Xiaojun’s shirt and pushed him against the wall.

“Why didn’t you do anything?!” Doyoung’s voice quivered, tears already threatening to fall. “Why didn’t you take her to a hospital?” Doyoung lifted his right hand, balled into a fist. At the sight, the two older members rushed towards him. Johnny and Taeyong pulled back the yelling man, preventing him from potentially hurting Xiaojun. “WHY DIDN’T YOU CALL ANYONE?!” Doyoung had completely lost it. Tears streamed down his face as he felt the great amount of guilt take over him. If only he had been there with JiHo instead of Xiaojun, that’s what he thought.

All the members stood there wordlessly as Doyoung continued to sob. Haechan crying silently in the doorway and the other members being completely lost.

Not being able to take it anymore, knowing that her members were making assumptions in their heads about why she took those pills, JiHo decided to explain the whole situation. From why she took the pills and drank the alcoholic beverage, to how Xiaojun had ended up sleeping next to her and why he hadn’t messaged anyone.

“The alcohol helped my anxiety and the pills helped my headache for a split second before it came back worse. I didn’t take many, I’m fine.” “How can tell us you’re fine when you’re suffering like this. Alone.” Doyoung stood up from where he fell to his knees earlier. The sobbing had stopped, but he was still very emotional. “Because I didn’t want to worry you guys, I’m already being a big inconvenience.” The girl explained sadly.

“You’re not an inconvenience to us JiHo.” Johnny said. JiHo just sighed, thinking of how the boys weren’t allowed to talk to her publicly, how they had to be careful around her afraid to ask something she couldn’t talk about, how they always worried about her even if she told them they shouldn’t. No matter what the boys said, JiHo felt like such a burden these past weeks.

JiHo fell back down into her bed and pulled her knees to her chest. “I didn’t mean it when I said I wanted to die. That wasn’t why I took the pills. I haven’t slept in days because of these headaches and I was desperate to get some sleep. I didn’t even know that juice was alcoholic, but it helped me calm down. It was the first time in days I started to feel a bit more relaxed. It’s not that I want to die. It’s just that, some days, I rather feel nothing than feel the shitty way I’m feeling almost daily.”

Haechan who had been standing in the same spot this entire time walked up to JiHo and sat down next to her, pulling her into his side. “You should’ve just told us.” He watched as his tears fell onto JiHo’s shoulder and got absorbed by her grey tee.

“We can’t help you if you don’t talk to us.” Taeyong had grabbed her hand and let his thumb draw random patterns on the back of her hand. JiHo nodded, wordlessly telling him she understood.

Doyoung cleared his throat causing everyone to look at him. “I’m sorry Xiaojun. I shouldn’t have yelled at you like that. You were only taking care of JiHo.” “Hyung, it’s okay.” Xiaojun directly said, but Doyoung shook his head. “No, it’s not okay. I acted and said things before I thought and I didn’t even hear you guys out. I’m also sorry towards you JiHo.” JiHo just nodded in acceptance of the apology.

He then settled down on the bed next to JiHo. “Please stop keeping things like this to yourself. I know you might not like talking to us about it and I know with the way I acted right now, that you might never want to talk to me about these kinds of things first. But if you’re ever suffering like this, you can talk to any one of the boys okay? So if you don’t want to talk to me.” Doyoung turned to face Xiaojun. “ I completely trust Xiaojun to listen to you and be able to take care of you.” Xiaojun nodded firmly which caused JiHo to smile.

As JiHo felt the love of her members intensify, she let herself melt into Haechan’s embrace, feeling her headache subside until it was almost gone. Johnny pulled Xiaojun in a side hug to comfort him after all the commotion that went on. Suddenly JiHo noticed something in the doorway. A head of hair seemingly floating from one side of the door. “Mark?”

At the mention of his name Mark popped his head from behind the wall, the boy wide-eyed. “What are you?” “Haechan messaged us saying Doyoung and Xiaojun were fighting.” Yuta explained as he unexpectedly walked into the room. Doyoung and Taeyong both glared at Haechan, disappointed that he felt the need to make the other members worry. “I’m sorry, I panicked.” The boy pouted which caused the older two to soften.

After Yuta had walked in, Mark, Jungwoo, Taeil and Jaehyun followed. “How long have you guys been out there?” JiHo asked worried, hoping they hadn’t picked up on everything that happened. “A few minutes.” Jungwoo smiled sadly and the girl sighed. “Listen, Doyoung is right. You have 23 guys ready to hear you out. Don’t be afraid to talk to us.” Taeil sat down on the bed. JiHo nodded and looked around the room meeting all the boys’ eyes and seeing the amount of love and care in them. “Thank you guys.”

“Group hug!” Haechan yelled to which both Yuta and Jungwoo repeated the words and suddenly JiHo was suffocating because of the 10 guys who had thrown themselves on top of her. Luckily her bed was just a thick mattress on the floor or otherwise it had broken for sure.

And even though she could barely breathe beneath the pressure of 10 bodies on top of her, she basked in the love she was receiving and felt all her stress and anxiety leave her body for once. For once she knew for certain that she was going to have fewer sleepless nights ahead of her.

---

Side note: I hyped myself up this morning to write a good part 2 only for it to end up like this? jk, I love the story and the little fluff at the end, I just imagined it to pan out way differently (more angsty). It’s definitely not the most exciting thing to read but if you’ve made it this far, first of all thank you <3 and secondly I think this just gives closure to part 1.

Thx to anon for suggesting this though and if there is anything that has been mentioned before that you want to get some extra information on or just things/scenarios you want to read, let me know! My inbox is open so feel free to send me anything <3

#jiho.writings #nct 24th member #nct addition #nct angst #wayv angst #nct scenarios #nct imagines #wayv imagines #nct doyoung imagines #nct doyoung angst #doyoung angst #xiaojun imagines #xiaojun angst #nct fluff #nct female member #nct extra member #nct additional member #kpop!addition #kpop!oc

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my-emotional-self · 4 years ago

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Toxic Love Chapter 12

Pairings: Steve Rogers x Reader, Bucky Barnes x Reader, Steve Rogers x Reader x Bucky Barnes

Summary: Finding out your soulmates were Steve Rogers and Bucky Barnes was one thing. But when someone from your past comes back to haunt you, you have to figure out if a relationship with two super soldiers is something you really want to pursue or if you’d rather go back to your comfortable single life.

Series Warnings: 18+, Swearing, Angst, Fluff, past mentions of rape, self-harm, attempted rape, domestic violence, stalking, death threats, possible Dark!Steve?, Steve will be an asshole a LOT in this series but I don’t know how dark it will get, explicit sexual content, mental health issues, kind of A/B/O dynamics but not really (no they are not actual wolves, more like the hierarchy), mentions of suicide, flashbacks of suicide, nightmares

A/N: There will be no taglist for this story! I apologize in advance!

Bright. It was much too bright in your room. Opening one eye, you saw that your curtains were left open. ‘Steve’ you thought to yourself as your body began to stretch. You were sore, all over your body and it brought a smile to your face as you remembered the previous night. Or, more like early morning.

Looking around your room you saw that Steve was nowhere to be seen. He must have snuck out at some point after you passed out. Throwing the covers off, you saw that you were still in the same shirt as yesterday but now you had on a pair of shorts. Steve must have dressed you too.

Getting to your feet, you padded over to the bathroom and started the shower. As you began to undress yourself, you glanced in the mirror. Steve really did a number on you. Fingertip bruises were scattered all over your hips; there were so many you couldn’t even count them all.

Throwing your hair up in a messy bun, you jumped in the shower and washed your body. Memories of last flooded your mind. The way Steve man handled you. His rough touch on your skin. His hand on your throat. And the sex. Fuck, the sex was amazing. You had only been with John, and none of your sexual encounters with him were good. No, not with what he did to you. It was horrible. You didn’t know sex could feel that good like it did with Steve.

Drying off, you realized you should probably still wear something long sleeved because of the cuts on your wrist. So you put on a pair of underwear and then a long sleeved night shirt that went down to your knees. You wanted to be comfortable today.

Looking at the clock it was a little after two in the afternoon so you decided to go meet your fate in the living room. You could only hope that Steve was in a better mood after last night and maybe the three of you could finally just have a talk. Maybe it was time to come clean about your mental health issues once and for all.

Making your way out of your room, you saw both Steve’s door to his room was non-existent. “Hmm. I wonder what happened there,” you spoke to nobody but yourself as you continued down the hallway.

Bucky was sitting on the couch in nothing but a pair of loose shorts, texting on his phone. You cleared your throat to let him know you were there.

He smiled at you and set his phone down on the table in front of him. “Hi doll,” he said, no hint of anger in his face or voice. Ok, so maybe Steve didn’t fill him in on you leaving the tower on your own at night.

“What time did you get back?” you asked as you grabbed a bottle of water out of the refrigerator.

“A few hours ago actually. I just showered and figured I’d relax the rest of the day,” he replied, his eyes watching you.

You nodded, taking a sip of your water. “Umm, where’s Steve?”

“Actually, I don’t really know,” he said with a chuckle. “I got a text from him around five in the morning that said he would be gone for the rest of the day. Punk didn’t tell me anything else.”

“Oh.” Ok, so now what did you do? Do you come clean to Bucky about last night? Taking another sip, you couldn’t help but admire his physique. His body was utterly perfect. Just like Steve’s. And they were both yours. How did you get so lucky?

“Is everything alright doll?” Bucky asked, sitting up straighter on the couch.

Giving him a shy smile, you set your water down on the counter and sauntered over to him. Your eyes taking in every bit of naked flesh that he showed. You wanted him. You wanted him now.

Gradually you placed your hands on his shoulders and straddled his waist.

“What are you doing doll?” Bucky’s voice was hungry as you got situated on his lap. His fingers rested on your exposed thigh and you hummed at how good it felt.

Moving forward, you nipped at his pulse point before soothing it with your tongue. Bucky’s fingers dug into your flesh. You loved the stark contrast between his flesh hand and his metal hand. One warm and one cold.

“I want you Bucky,” you purred in his ear, giving his lobe a quick nibble causing him to jolt. Bucky began to stiffen. Not just his posture, but h is cock as well. Teasing him, you began to rub yourself up and down his stiffening length.

“Wait doll. Stop,” he breathed out. Pulling away, you frowned at him. “No. It’s not that I don’t want to. Fuck doll I want you so bad. It’s just that. Well, Steve’s in charge so he should be with you first. He’d honestly probably be pretty upset if he didn’t get to you first.”

You slowly smiled at him, biting your lower lip. Pulling up the bottom of your night shirt, you showed off what Steve had done to you the night before. Bucky’s eyes went wide as his fingers caressed softly over the marks. “Steve already had me last night. Now it’s your turn.”

Bucky’s head snapped up. His eyes locking onto yours. There was no denying the lust behind those blue eyes of him.

In one swift movement, his metal hand gripped the small amount of clothing covering your core and ripped it from your body. You gasped in surprise and it only made you more aroused.

Your lips connected with his in a fierce kiss. One that made your toes curl. His flesh hand snaked into your hair, holding you close as your wet core ground down on his length. Bucky sucked on your bottom lip before letting go with a pop. Just like Steve’s the night before, Bucky’s eyes were dark. His pupils blown wide to the point you couldn’t even see his blue orbs anymore.

“I want you Bucky. Please. I need you in me,” you begged, wanting to feel that fullness of his cock inside of you.

His flesh fingers teased your wet folds before circling your clit. “Oh baby girl,” he mewled. “You are so ready for me.”

You whimpered at his words, nodding your head because yes. You were in fact so ready for him.

“Lift up doll,” he urged and you lifted onto your knees giving Bucky just enough room to pull his shorts down to his knees.

He held his stiff cock in his hand and helped guide your hips until you sunk down on him. Both of you rolled your heads back in pleasure. He was just as big as Steve and he filled you up so full. You never knew it could feel this good.

Your forehead met his, giving yourself a minute to adjust to him. All you wanted was to stay like this forever. But you wanted more. Craved it. Desired it.

Rising up on your knees, you slowly sunk back down onto his length. You did this over and over again. Teasing Bucky. Torturing both him and yourself. It was fun being in control of your movements. But it didn’t seem like Bucky was too patient.

A low grumble came from Bucky’s chest and before you knew it, his hands were gripping your hips and guiding you up and down. His grip wasn’t as tight as Steve’s and you were wondering if he was being gentle since you already had bruising there.

“You feel so good doll,” Bucky rasped as his eyes watched himself where he was connected with you. It was the sexiest thing you had ever seen.

“Bucky. Faster,” you pleaded.

Bucky, always the pleaser, didn’t want to disappoint his girl. He picked you up off of him as he got off the couch. He guided you back onto the couch on your knees. Your legs dangled off the couch as your hands were placed on the back. In one swift motion, Bucky sunk into you from behind. A soft cry came from your lips at the new angle.

“You are perfect doll,” Bucky grunted as his metal hand palmed your ass. “So fucking perfect.”

His movements were slow at first. Teasing you. But then he began moving faster; snapping his hips into you with such force you saw stars. Your knees were starting to hurt but you didn’t give a damn. The pleasure Bucky was giving you was more than enough to make up for it.

Your orgasm was fast approaching and Bucky reached his hand around the front to help you out. His rough fingers came in contact with your swollen clit.

“Are you going to cum for me baby girl? Hmmm? I want to feel that beautiful pussy of yours clench around me,” he growled, his hips and fingers working furiously.

The sound of his voice and those words were all it took to set you off. You screamed his name as an earth shattering orgasm rippled through your body; your eyes shut so tight all you saw was blackness with white dots.

Bucky’s fingers worked you through your orgasm and before you were even finished, Bucky was right behind you. His grunts and moans filled the living room as his hips stilled and you could feel his warm seed filling you up.

You winced as Bucky pulled out of you and you both collapsed into a heap on the couch.

~~~

Later that evening you were curled up with Bucky on the touch watching a movie.

“What is that thing?” Bucky asked and you couldn’t help but burst out laughing.

“It’s Falkor! He’s a Luck Dragon! Isn’t he cute??”

Bucky looked down at you where you were nestled into his side. “Cute? That thing is creepy looking.”

You gasped in shock. “Bucky Barnes! How dare you say about Falkor! Take that back!”

“Never,” Bucky growled as his fingers attacked your sides, tickling you relentlessly. Your laughter was contagious, making Bucky laugh.

The elevator dinged and Bucky ceased his tickling torture. Steve stepped off the elevator. He looked sad and disappointed.

Fear encroached you. That nagging feeling in the back of your mind coming full force. Fear of rejection. Fear of abandonment. Was he so disappointed in you and your acting out that he wanted to end things?

Steve dropped his head to the ground and turned to talk away towards his room.

You scrambled off the couch. No. You wouldn’t let this happen.

Jogging to his room, you could hear Bucky following you closely.

Since there was no door to Steve’s room, you walked right in and saw him standing near the window, looking out into the orange and pink dusk sky; his hands in his pockets.

“Steve?” you asked softly as you padded your bare feet over to him. “Is, is everything ok?”

He didn’t turn around to look at you. “No Y/N, everything is not alright.” Your heart sunk to the pit of your stomach. “We need to talk.”

#steve rogers #steve rogers fanfic #steve rogers fanfiction #bucky barnes #bucky barnes fanfic #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x you #steve rogers x reader #steve rogers x you #steve rogers smut #bucky barnes smut #dark! steve rogers #dark!steve rogers

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kakashiswilloffire · 4 years ago

Text

Orange Sherbet

ao3 link

tw: suicide attempt, overdose, painkillers, mentions of self harm

words: 3.5k

He was a drain on Gai.

His students didn’t need him—they’d surpass him soon enough.

There were still villagers who called him Friend-Killer Kakashi.

He still saw faces every time he laid down to sleep.

He felt Rin’s blood splash onto his chest every time he used the Chidori.

He couldn’t help Itachi.

He couldn’t help anyone.

Sometimes he understood what must’ve gone through his father’s head.

Sometimes, the corner store doesn’t have orange sherbet.

Kakashi is suicidal and we hope Gai can help.

If there was orange sherbet at the convenience store on the way home, he’d stay alive. They always had pints of ice creams and other frozen treats—it was something he had promised to treat himself to when he felt this way. They had made him write down all these promises during his last few mental health sessions with various Yamanakas, listing three people he could talk to when he felt lonely, three distractions he could use to keep himself sane for a few minutes longer, three reasons to stay alive. When he felt like he couldn’t stand to live another day, he had to summon Pakkun, read Icha Icha, and eat something special and different. Pakkun was still recovering from their last rough battle together. He had read each volume of Icha Icha so many times they risked falling apart upon his next touch. So orange sherbet it was.

He’d never cared much for sweets, of course. But there was something nostalgic about orange sherbet, it wasn’t quite as punch-in-the-face sugary as ice cream, but still gave a slight buzz and coated his tongue. In the back of his mind, he remembered his father—or was it Minato?—buying a pint for each of them and snagging two disposable spoons so they could enjoy them as they walked back from the training grounds. Or was it three pints with Rin and Obito after difficult missions? Something Gai or Tenzou insisted on buying for his birthday one year? Everything blurred in his mind, unable to clearly break each memory apart to see it again.

He pushed open the door, hearing the dull chime of bells as it swung forward to let him into the packed corner shop. He made his way to the freezer without taking in any of the other colors, sights, or smells around him. He remembered his goal. One pint of orange sherbet. Buy one, eat it, and try life again tomorrow.

The freezer door was coated in a light fog, but he was in no hurry to see through it. It was just him and the shopkeep cashing out an older civilian woman. He skimmed his eyes across the rows, looking for the familiar orange carton.

Where was it?

He tried again, looking more carefully at each row, all the way across, then moving down to the next systematically. His heart rate jumped roughly 15 more beats per minute.

They always have it.

He opened the door, searching furiously with his eyes now that there was no frost in his way. He knelt to the ground, checking the bottom rows thoroughly.

It has to be here.

He glanced at the shopkeep, bagging the woman’s groceries as she talked animatedly about something he didn’t care enough to make out. He slid his headband up a couple of inches, barely exposing the crimson eye hidden beneath. With as much chakra as he dared use given his current state, he searched the frozen rack again.

Every flavor of ice cream he could think of, and a least a dozen more he would never consider. And toward the bottom, there was lime, lemon, and raspberry,

No orange sherbet.

He wasn’t sure how long he remained squatted down with the freezer door open, focused on the empty slot where it should be. The shopkeep, now with no other customers, cleared his throat loudly and gestured for Kakashi to shut the door. He blinked twice, then rose, hearing the door seal as he returned to his feet.

“Anything I can help you with?”

Kakashi blinked, again. There was all this noise roaring in his head, and he felt flushed. After a beat too long, he understood what had been asked and shook his head.

“No, ah… Thank you.”

He nodded and quickly ducked out of the store.

That was it. He had to write down three reasons. Reason one was currently out of commission because of him. Reason two had been violently abused so that he had something to do with his hands when he was so full of fire and anxiety that if he wasn’t holding something he’d— well, whatever came easiest or first. Digging his nails into his arms, forming tiny red divots. Scratching until the skin was raw and angry. Slamming fists into his thighs. Step one was always untying his kunai pouch and letting it fall. He’d learned that early on.

Reason number three to stay alive, and the agreement he’d made with himself today, was the convenience of dropping by the store for a small treat. Without that, he wasn’t sure how to proceed.

Walking back to his apartment, he thought about the previous weeks. Those promises had all begun the same way, but ended in a different direction. The format was simple: if blank, then I won’t kill myself today. He used to use a similar format: I can’t kill myself until blank. The problem with that was dreaming far enough ahead to find a goal worth the pain, effort, and time, and also, what to do when the goal was met. You can’t kill yourself until you make chunin. You can’t kill yourself until you complete an A rank mission. You can’t kill yourself until you make jonin. You can’t kill yourself until… what? Until I come back from a mission with no casualties? Until I can become close to someone without them dying in front of me? It spiraled too quickly to come back from.

The simpler way to go about it was short-term goals. Can’t kill yourself till after dinner. Then you’ve gotta brush your teeth. Then read a chapter of a book, or two. Then you’re tired, and you can sleep until the alarm wakes you far earlier than the sun would, and you live until you feel like you can’t again. But even that had its downfalls—if you can’t be bothered to brush your teeth tonight, you’ve gotta find something to keep going.

It had been Gai who suggested rephrasing the prompt to its latest version. On a day I challenge you, Rival, you can’t end the passion of youth! The challenges had been almost daily for a couple of months after that, until Gai had left for an extended mission and Kakashi had been thoroughly encouraged to stay a similar amount of time in the Yamanaka’s care. He’d begrudgingly admitted later that both of those developments had helped, and it had been a few years since his last bout with depression like this.

But it had been like this for a few months now, and the clouds fuzzing over his mind didn’t seem to be letting up. So he revisited some old advice. If it doesn’t rain on the way home, he’d stay alive. The sky remained cloudless. If Naruto pulled something stupid during training, he’d stay alive. It only took fifteen minutes before Sakura started yelling at him. If there was orange sherbet in the corner store—But there wasn’t.

Somehow, he made it inside his apartment, not quite recalling the rest of the walk through the dull ache behind his eyes. He slipped his unzipped vest off his shoulders, not noticing it hit the floor. Routine dictated that next was the kunai pouch, then the bandages, then—

He was sitting on the floor and wasn’t sure how he got there. Sitting was a generous term, he supposed, as his legs were fully outstretched and he was propped on one forearm with his head against the wall. His eyes slowly screwed tight as the dull ache sharpened briefly, then the static between his ears picked up in volume. He shook his head, trying to clear it, and gradually got back to his feet, stumbling into the living room.

He slumped across the couch, staring at the ceiling. He remembered the routine, drilling itself into his head. His vest was off, he needed to remove the kunai pouch, then the bandages, then the shoes, and put all of that away before removing the rest of his clothing to take a shower. After that was dinner, then two hours of free time to fill with whatever he was capable of, then bed. Lately the free time had been compromised of staring at the pile of clean laundry on the chair opposite him that had needed to be put away since Wednesday. He knew the routine. He decided to get a jump start on free time anyway.

He began counting all of the socks he could see sticking out of the collection of clothes. Organization and listing had always helped situate his mind and get him back on track. After ten or so minutes, he was finally able to unstrap the kunai pouch, tossing it across the room, taking care to not pay attention where it landed. There had been a week where Kakashi didn’t even carry the bag because Gai had taken it and every sharp object he could find in the apartment under the pretense of helping him hone his taijutsu by not relying on weapons. He had been content to let Gai keep the explanation at that. That might be something to revisit soon.

No. Gai had already done more than enough for him.

Kakashi found himself standing in his small bathroom. He wasn’t sure how much time had passed since he’d been in the living room, but he was now free of his bandages and shoes. He shrugged, reaching behind his head to untie his headband. Somehow, it had gotten knotted worse than usual and a section of his hair was caught in it. He yanked viciously at it, breathing in through gritted teeth at the sting then feeling himself relax ever so slightly. Forgoing undoing the knot, he slid it along the trapped segment of hair until the headband came free. That made it on to the counter. That never saw the floor, unlike every other part of his wardrobe had

.Next to the headband on the counter was a scattered collection of varying sizes of orange plastic bottles with thick white caps. The clinical labels all had his name, and the names of various antidepressants and antianxiety medications, as well as several painkillers and muscle relaxants and some antibiotic from the mission a couple years back where everyone returned miserably ill. Most of the bottles were empty, and he had held on to them meaning to get them refilled. He always had good intentions, but there was so many things to do in a day, and he ran out of energy usually three or four items into his list.

The one thing he could always count of having around, though, was some kind of pain relief.

Missions were hard, somehow harder now than ever with him as a jonin leader. He still had teammates, but they relied fully on him to take the brunt of every attack and to protect them at all costs. He couldn’t blame them, of course. They were children. He wanted nothing more than for them to be children and not suffer the same losses he had.

Still, he was sure to return from every mission above a D rank with at least a few nasty bruises. And any time Gai could rope him into a training session, he knew he’d come home needing ice packs and the heating pad and whatever else he could get to be able to train with his team the next morning.

And that was how he found himself glaring into the mirror, the bottle of white tablets shaking in his fist.

He was certainly in pain, that couldn’t be argued.

But how many to take?

No orange sherbet.

He shook his head vigorously again, walking back into the living room and falling onto the couch. He focused on a mark on the ceiling, breathing faster than he understood why while his vision started swimming.

There wasn’t orange sherbet.

He was a drain on Gai.

His students didn’t need him—they’d surpass him soon enough.

There were still villagers who called him Friend-Killer Kakashi,

He still saw faces every time he laid down to sleep.

He felt Rin’s blood splash onto his chest every time he used the Chidori,

Sometimes he understood what must’ve gone through his father’s head.

He couldn’t help Itachi

He couldn’t help anyone,

Sometimes, the corner store doesn’t have orange sherbet.

Sometimes, the little orange bottle that rattles doesn’t rattle any more.

He was in the kitchen, water dripping off his face and hands as he panted over the sink. How did he get here? He swallowed hard, his mouth somehow still dry, and turned the water off. The prescription bottle was laying on the floor. Then so was he. Against the cold tile, he was able to relax just a bit again.

It’d be over soon. He wouldn’t hurt anyone else ever again.

His thoughts became harder to string along, but that didn’t bother him. The thoughts he could connect didn’t sting as much as they usually did. It might be nice to put away that laundry, actually.

Every muscle was heavy. There was so much weight on him, and he couldn’t move. How much time had passed? He thought his heart was starting to race, and wondered if he was having second thoughts. But he couldn’t feel the ground beneath him any longer. He struggled for hours, days, to move his index finger to trace the hem of his shirt over and over. Could he feel it? Was he moving?

He rolled to his side, slowly bringing his knees up to prepare to stand. But his body didn’t move. He wasn’t sure how much time had passed. He couldn’t? His… It was his body. But? Was he? Could move? …Him?

Several centuries had passed before he heard the key in the door, and the door had already been sealed shut before he understood what the noise was.

“Ka-KASHI! In celebration of your return home from your latest mission, I made sure to grab a treat. Do you remember when you left the ANBU and we went to the corner store together? What a celebration to end all celebrations that day was! I was sure to grab the finest, most youthful of every snack—orange sherbet!”

***

Gai held the thin plastic bag up triumphantly, two pints rolling against each other. Normally he would have also grabbed spoons, but assuming Kakashi would be home, he was sure he could find two spoons somewhere in the apartment, even if he had to wash every dish himself.

It hadn’t gone unnoticed to him that Kakashi was on a downswing lately, but he’d always been the counter to balance his own exuberance, and he had complete confidence that they would move past this, too.

He nudged the flak vest that was crumpled on the ground at his feet. Kakashi must’ve been itching to take it off to have removed it the second he got inside. But why wouldn’t he have hung it up, or placed it at least near the hamper? This wasn’t part of the routine. Had he been badly injured on this last mission?

That must be it. He would have come home, shed his clothing, and jumped in the shower to clean his wounds and begin loosening his muscles. Much to Gai’s dismay, Kakashi seemed to be magnetically repelled from hospitals, preferring to treat his wounds himself as long as he could walk. So he must have some sort of torso injury, maybe bruised ribs or a minor stab wound, and he was surely tending to it quietly deeper inside the apartment.

The laundry he had helped Kakashi wash last week was still in the soft, cushioned chair in the dim living room. That wasn’t too surprising, he knew that was the first thing Kakashi would let fall by the wayside if something wasn’t going to get done. As long as the clothes were clean, he could wear them, even if they hadn’t been neatly hung, and that was something Gai could live with.

What he did not appreciate the sight of, however, was the kunai pouch halfway under the end table near the entry way. With such an inconvenient location, Kakashi surely must have made an effort to lose the bag and the knives it contained. He felt his heart swell with pride that Kakashi had the forethought to disregard the bag, but his heart deflated just as quickly with the knowledge that Kakashi felt it necessary to do so.

As he continued into the apartment, he called out his rival’s name once or twice. He must be home. The barrier seals hadn’t been placed over the front door, which means he either was here, or kidnapped from here, and the building still existed, so he must not have been kidnapped. So where was he?

Conscious of the rapidly melting sherbet in his hand, he turned down the hallway to the kitchen to leave the bad in the freezer while he helped Kakashi, presumably in the bedroom, bandage his wounds.

As he rounded the corner, flipping on the lights as he went, he heard a small groan. Nothing at eye level. Cautiously stepping forward, his foot sent a small orange plastic bottle skittering across the tiles.

Gai was barely aware of the sherbet hitting the ground.

Kakashi looked terrible. It was not particularly strange to find him lying on the ground, but there was absolutely no color in his face. Both of his eyes were lazily opened, and neither focused on Gai’s as he kneeled down to check his vitals. His breathing was shallow and his heart rate garbage.

“What did you DO?”

Gai yanked Kakashi up into a sitting position, grabbing for the prescription bottle. Depending on what it said, maybe this wasn’t as bad as it seemed. Maybe he’d been poisoned. Maybe even food poisoning. But the signs of an opiate overdose matched the label printed in cruelly clinical terms and he crushed the plastic in his fist. Kakashi needed to get to a hospital, and he needed to get there immediately.

He gathered his rival in his arms, not noticing his weight nearly as much as he noticed how limp he was, making no effort to not be ragdolled around. As he stood up, he took stock again of Kakashi’s breathing—shallower than a moment ago. After a second’s hesitation, he reached for the edge of his mask and yanked it down under his chin, hoping the direct access of air to his lips and nose might help. His lips had some color in them still, and he looked away, trying to respect the privacy of the man who he would kill as soon as he was saved.

***

Some time in the next twenty-four hours, Kakashi’s eyes opened. When they did, blinded by the light and surrounded by medical whites, he was shocked to find himself actually in heaven. What brought him back to earth was Gai, unceremoniously slapping his shoulder.

“What, my dear, dear rival, were you thinking?” he said, thankfully not as loudly as he could have.

Kakashi was at a loss. There were dozens, hundreds of thoughts racing through his head, but they all seemed password-protected and he didn’t have administrative access. He could barely open his mouth, covered by a thin towel, let alone form an explanation that would have made any sense to Gai.

Instead, he surprised himself by feeling the towel suddenly go cold and cling to his skin.

Gai panicked for a moment at the sight of Kakashi’s tears, then took a deep breath and slid forward to the edge of his chair. He brushed a warm, calloused thumb across his rival’s face.

“I know you’re in pain. I do. I don’t understand it, but I believe that you’re in pain and we’re going to help you get better.” He took a shuddering breath, noting that it was thicker with emotion than he had anticipated. “I don’t know what the future is going to hold for us, but the passion of our youth, and especially of your youth, Kakashi, is not close to over. So, whatever it takes, whatever the Yamanakas advise and whatever you need, we’ll make it happen. I love you, and you’re not going anywhere.”

Kakashi’s eyes widened, and Gai became aware that he had opened his Sharingan at some point to record this moment in his memory. He swallowed, feeling his throat begin to ache.

“I love you.”

Kakashi’s tears began falling in a steady stream, and Gai remained exactly where he was, brushing soft, silver hair off of his rival’s forehead. After a moment, he leaned further forward and pressed his forehead against the space he had just cleared.

In a small, scratchy voice he had not heard from the man laying before him ever in the past, he heard a whisper that nearly broke his heart.

“I love you too.”

#first fic ive written in years #hope its any good #pls let me know what you think #kakagai #kakashi hakate #kakashi x gai #kakashi angst

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whatifyoulivelikethat · 4 years ago

Text

aquarium ii | kth

pairing(s): taehyung x reader; ex-jungkook x reader

summary: Life after Jeon Jungkook was grey. You had to find your own color, grow your own rainbow. But what would surprise you the most is the appearance of white cosmos, seven of them clutched tightly in Kim Taehyung’s hand.

warnings: reader discretion is advised: a (half-hearted) suicide attempt; mentions of cheating in previous relationship; language; heavy angst; fluffiest fluff; non-idol!AU; kind garden-loving landlord!Taehyung x reader; ft. sadboi!Jungkook

–

part i

now playing – without me by halsey ft. JUICE WRLD

tell me, how's it feel sittin' up there? feelin’ so high, but too far away to hold me

You couldn’t remember that night very well, because you didn’t come up.

The worst part about being cheated on was not the actual cheating. It was the moment where you thought you had done something wrong, like somehow it was your fault it happened, like if you hadn’t done this or that, maybe things would have been different. Maybe if you hadn’t chosen that night to snoop into Jeon Jungkook’s phone, he would have had second thoughts, deleted it all, and loved you again. Maybe if you were a little kinder, a little more attentive, he wouldn’t have fallen out of love with you. Maybe... Maybe.

Maybe.

You knew that was just your brain trying to rationalize his irrationality. You had done wrong by invading his privacy by acting on sheer gut feeling. And you had run away, without confronting it, without giving him a chance, because you knew, you knew that if you gave him a chance, you would believe all his words, get dragged back into his sea, back into those dangerous waters.

All these thoughts coursed through you as the water closed in.

The milky bathwater was slowly replacing your depleting air, leaking into your lungs and you didn’t fight it, turning the darkness of the underside of your eyelids into light, because deep down you still loved him, no matter how stupid or foolish it was. Your heart still clung to his soft, I’m sorry, and you didn’t want to hear it anymore.

You didn’t want to know what loving Jeon Jungkook was like anymore. It was too painful.

you know i'm the one who put you up there name in the sky, does it ever get lonely?

You gave everything so he could be what he wanted to be, not knowing that you were the one slowly being eroded. No one could tell you. You were the one who had to find the signs. You were the one who found yourself trapped in glass walls, stuck in an aquarium, surrounded on all sides by Jeon Jungkook as he made a mockery of your feelings.

You screamed into the water and no one heard you.

The next memory you had was hazy, barely there.

You felt a tightness in your chest, harsh, solid pressure. A frustrated, agonized voice above you, desperately calling your name in deep baritone, desperately asking you to come back, praying in every language he knew for you to come back, come back, please, please, please.

“Please…”

In the whiteness, you wandered. Were you meant to be here? It was a loose fog. You looked around, seeing traces of memory like torn book pages, slipping through the haze. You reached out to touch them and they disappeared, only mirages.

And then you fell, dragged into dark blue, torn, battered, lungs burning as you struggled to stay afloat, coughing hard, your muscles screaming with asphyxiation, sudden oxygen flooding your brain. You whipped your head to the side, hacking up water, spilling it all over the green tiles of the bathroom floor, head pounding. Thoughts swimming, barely computing the shouting above you.

“I can’t fucking believe you,” one voice growled above your jerking body, so venomous that it made your blood run cold. “You absolute disaster of a man, thinking for one fucking second she would even consider taking you back. Look at her! She’d rather drown herself in my damn bathtub than hold a conversation with you!”

“What the fuck do you know?” The familiar voice, the voice that haunted you in your nightmares, the voice that fed you sweet poison. “She would do anything for me! She worships the fucking ground I walk on!”

You curled up into a ball, head pounding by the sudden explosion of light and sound. There was a towel over you, covering your wet naked body, and yet you shivered. You barely registered Kim Taehyung snarling, rising to his feet.

“You narcissistic bastard,” Taehyung spat out. “Get the fuck out of my house. Get the fuck out and don’t ever come near her again or I’ll break your fucking neck.”

“You can’t do anything to me. You’re a nobody,” Jeon Jungkook taunted. “Unlike you, I actually have money to sue you for assault.”

Apparently, Taehyung did not give a single shit, because he immediately roared and launched himself past you, the brown ball slamming into the black wall. You blinked, trying to register what was happening, but it was too much for you and your brain that was slowly trying to restore function due to lack of oxygen. They tumbled down the stairs and you laid your head against the floor, hearing the grunts and shouting, wondering why Taehyung had come back.

Wondering how he knew.

You closed your eyes.

In your dreams, you saw the soft sunlight glowing against Taehyung’s tan skin as he reached down to retrieve a dark green cucumber to show you. It was a bit wonky and hadn’t grown quite right, but you watched Taehyung tap it and smile to himself.

“Doesn’t matter what it looks like on the outside,” he said cheerfully. “I know it will still taste delicious because I gave it love.”

You tried to go back to work, but it was awful.

You loved your work. Perhaps it was boring to others, accounting all day, but it was mundane and peaceful, always knowing what you had to do. You never had to question the numbers. The numbers were what they were and that was that.

But now when you stared out into the grey urban jungle, it pained you.

What once was your safe haven turned into your cage, chaining you to clock in, clock out. You would go home to a motel nearby, crying into unfamiliar, starched sheets, pitying housekeepers preparing your meals, asking you what was wrong and you couldn’t tell them.

Because you didn’t know.

i'm sad inside, but i know it's for the best, right? you had to realize where you drew the line

You didn’t check his social media. You didn’t check his Twitch, his Instagram, his Twitter. You got a new phone, only giving your new number to your work and your parents. With a start, you realized you hadn’t contacted your old high school friends in years. You had lost them all, committing social suicide for Jeon Jungkook. In fact, you had no social media presence, so there was no need to download those apps.

There was nothing on your old phone that you wanted. It sat in the storage unit, forgotten. You didn’t want to turn on your old phone to see the photos, the lock screen of his arms around you, smile on his face from two years ago.

A smile you didn’t even know was real or fake.

i still hate it when you’re not there

You tried to tell yourself you were fine, because moping over Jeon Jungkook was stupid. But you had invested so much. You had given him everything. It was hard to regrow. You were stuffed in this tiny motel room, staring out to the hazy, polluted city, yellow sunlight fighting to be seen.

You sat by the window, clutching your pink flats, remembering Taehyung’s last words to you before you left.

“I looked up the brand and bought you some new ones,” he had said sheepishly. “I felt bad that they got so ruined, all because I asked you to help me with the garden.” He gave you that big, boxy smile. “Just think of them as a parting gift for being such a great tenant.”

You inhaled a deep breath, placing the pale pink flats next to the exact same style but grass-stained, greyed-out, worn ones. You stared at them both.

And made a choice.

“I thought I would never see you again.”

You lifted your head. The scent of flowers, so familiar and comforting, wafted around you, a reassuring embrace. You were wearing a long-sleeved white dress, a brown ribbon around the collar. The pink flats, the ones the owner of the deep baritone voice had gifted you.

That was nearly six months ago now. You had since thrown away the other ones.

Kim Taehyung walked up to you. He was wearing brown overalls and a cream shirt, elbows smeared with dirt. His skin had lightened due to the passing winter, but it was spring now. The flower shop was very busy, but there were other employees, and Taehyung was fixated on you.

“I didn’t know you worked here,” Taehyung said quietly, his brown eyes shimmering. “I would have come here a lot more often if I knew.”

You bit you lip and bowed your head politely, smiling at him. Taehyung coughed and rubbed the back of his head, messing up his dark brown hair. It was longer and curlier now, desperately needing a trim.

“I… I came to get carnations. The shop I normally go to ran out.”

You nodded, leading him wordlessly to the red and pink carnations. There was still a good number left, but you had to pick through carefully to find the most beautiful ones for him. He watched you work, chewing on his lip. You held up the large bouquet to him.

“What do you think?” you asked softly.

He smiled at you. “Perfect.” He didn’t ask the price. “Could you make two corsages out of a few of them?”

“Of course. Right this way.”

You brought him to one of the counters, selecting a few blooms to make the corsages. You showed him the available ribbons and he picked a thin, sheer white one. He watched you work, quickly, but delicately, careful not to bruise the petals.

“You became an expert about flowers,” he remarked. “I’m still struggling.”

You smiled. “I’m still learning. It’s very different from what I used to do.” You twisted the ribbon into a perfect bow, using floral wire to secure it.

“You don’t talk to him anymore, do you?”

You shook your head. “Haven’t seen him since that day you threw him down your stairs.”

Taehyung laughed a little too loud, making the patrons stare at him. He coughed nervously, cramming the crumpled brown hat under his arm onto his head. You placed your hand over your lips, trying to hide your chuckle. Your fingertips smelled like phloem sap from the cut stems, sweet and grassy.

Taehyung gazed at you, surrounded by flowers, carnations laid out on the counter.

“Will you… let me take a picture of you?”

You blinked at him, lips parting.

Taehyung reached into his pocket, pulling out an old 35mm film camera. He looked sheepish as he held it up, hesitating.

“Sorry, I just… you look so beautiful, and I don’t want to forget that.” He rubbed the back of his neck with his free hand. “I know it’s a weird habit. But I like to take pictures and I never took one of you.” He looked deep into your eyes.

“I really regret not taking a picture of you.”

Your fingers were still over your mouth. You nodded.

Taehyung held the camera up and snapped a photo.

“He waits for you to get off work every day. It’s been a week now.”

The manager was teasing you, nudging your arm as you tugged on your long camel coat. You smiled at her, an old woman with knowing eyes that had seen and enjoyed a lot of life. Taehyung waved across the street as you made eye contact with him.

“There aren’t men like him anymore, you know,” she said gently. “These kinds of things happened in my generation, but now young people send pictures of flowers instead of the real thing.”

When you thanked the manager and walked out to Taehyung, he held out a small bundle of tiny flowers to you. White cosmos. You stopped, surprised. Breathless as you looked up at him. He was illuminated by a streetlight and the dying sun, the golden hour matching his golden skin. Holding out the white cosmos, shivering in the spring breeze.

“They’re not that pretty,” he said guiltily, stepping up to you. “I’ve been trying to grow flowers for months now and these are the only ones that survived, ahahaha…”

He scratched his head, brushing his hair back.

“I always hoped that if I saw you again, I could show you that I was able to finally grow flowers.” Taehyung laughed, shrugging apologetically. “This is all I got.”

You reached out and took the small bundle from him. They were a bit curled and slightly wilted from being carried around but you smiled at them.

“No one has ever grown flowers for me,” you said quietly.

The tiny yellow centers of each flower were surrounded by white. You counted seven. Taehyung had given you seven flowers. Seven flowers he grew on his own, because he wanted to show you. You placed your fingers on your mouth, the scent of the floral shop returning to you with the action. Your chest felt tight and full, a feeling unlike any other.

“I wanted to grow at least eight,” Taehyung lamented. “Because that would be luckier, but…”

You shook your head quickly, looking up at him. Him and his beautiful brown eyes, a small patch of dirt underneath his cheek. He probably didn’t even know it was there.

“No.”

You removed your hand from your lips and smiled at him.

“Seven is perfect.”

You threw your hands around him and hugged him tightly.

When Jeon Jungkook saw you again, everything was different.

He was distracting himself from school. University was much harder than he thought, especially since he didn’t attend right after high school to pursue his streaming career.

For a long time, he had someone to take care of him, first his mom and then you. Someone to do everything so he could recklessly chase his dreams. But things were different now. He had to suddenly become an adult. It wasn’t because of you. You hadn’t told anyone what happened.

But everyone knew.

One girl had let it slip, and then another and another, and then screenshots were plastered everywhere, all over the internet for anyone to see, not knowing the context, tossing judgements left and right. His parents found out and then his friends, everyone disappointed in him, not surprised that you vanished without a trace. He had to vanish too, every sponsor cutting ties with him immediately, not asking if it was true or not. It was bad for business to be associated with something like that.

Jungkook really regretted it now, but there was nothing he could do to take it back.

That’s why he was sitting in this tiny, one room apartment, using what was leftover from his streaming money to get a degree, saving every penny to his education. At least he hadn’t been so reckless to overspend. You hadn’t let him, always reminding him to save for his future, using your own income to pay for the necessities.

Even now, you were helping him.

Every once in a while, Jungkook would type variations of your old Instagram username into the search bar, wondering if you had ever set it up again. He had asked you to delete it, since you had been getting constant DMs from guys asking you out, sending you unsolicited dick pics. You had agreed, even through you could have fought him or simply privated it.

You had deleted it, Jungkook knew now, because he asked you and you loved him.

It hurt to know that you loved him so dearly and he was too busy feeding his own ego to see it.

When Jungkook saw you again, you were surrounded by flowers.

Your profile picture was a close up shot of your beautiful face, golden sun against your skin, a white cosmos tucked behind your ear. He knew it was you. He could tell by the shape of your lips, the contours of your eyes, even through your eyes were closed. Wearing a white dress, the ruffles fluttering in the wind.

Jungkook was breathless, seeing you again. He scrolled through your pictures. They were mostly of flowers, with captions of how to grow them. Were you a florist now? Some of them were of you in different dresses, surrounded by blue sky and green summer. The smile on your face was so dazzling that he wondered who gave you that smile.

His heart wrenched uncomfortably in his chest.

Or maybe it wasn’t a someone.

There was a time when that smile was his. There was a time when he could make you smile like that, your lips saying his name breathlessly – “Jungkook, Jungkook, look at this!” – showing him something silly or giving him his favorite banana milk with special edition packaging, saying how cute it was, just like him.

He blinked and a droplet fell onto his phone.

Right on your smiling face, hand holding a large straw hat, your pink dress fluttering in the wind.

Jungkook wiped it away, swiping at his tears with the sleeve of his black sweatshirt, wondering why had he taken that smile for granted, why he had drifted away from the safe coast, why he had thought, even for a second, that the days and nights you spent cleaning after him meant that you were keeping yourself busy and away from him, not seeing it for what it was, not seeing that it was your love for him and his own sloppiness that left him here now, staring at your summer as his summer was torn from him by textbooks and lectures.

He shuddered, still looking at the pictures, not wanting to miss a moment, even if they weren’t his moments anymore.

One of your pictures was a bundle of seven white cosmos, a little wilted and sad-looking.

Jungkook read the caption.

It doesn’t matter if you don’t think you’re beautiful. Because there is someone out there who thinks you are. They use every resource they know to give you love, even if it’s clumsy at first. Even if you don’t think you need it or want it.

The tears were really coming now, streaming down his cheeks as Jungkook asked himself why, why did he give this up?

They celebrate you and your love instead of simply tolerating it.

You sat on the edge of the cliff, legs dangling over the side.

Your pink flats were right beside you, and your arms were resting on the wooden fence. The ocean breeze was strong here, salty and cold. But you didn’t feel the cold, because Kim Taehyung had wrapped a thick wool blanket around you two. It was already night, but by the seaside it was still chilly, even in the summer, due to the sea breeze.

He peeled the foil back on a roasted sweet yam, taking off some of the skin so you could bite into it. You tried to take it from him but he shook his head, frowning at you. You laughed and took a bite, scalding your mouth from how hot it was. But it still tasted good.

“I asked my parents if I could have it.”

You looked up at him, trying to blow the steaming air from your mouth in attempt to cool off.

“The cottage?”

Taehyung nodded, taking a bite and wincing. “You’ll never guess what they said.”

You smiled. “What did they say?”

He scowled. “Then pay rent!” He waved a hand to the seaside house behind you two. “They own it! Why do I have to pay rent? I’m their son!”

You giggled, hiding your mouth behind you hand. Taehyung angrily bit into the sweet yam again and choked, forgetting how hot it was. Your giggles turned into full-blown laughter, falling back onto the grass, wool softening your fall. Taehyung narrowed his eyes at you, shaking the yam furiously. The white moonlight glinted off the silver foil. He puffed his cheeks and sighed as your laughter faded out.

You looked up at the stars, realizing how clear the sky was here.

It was nothing like the city.

Even in darkness, the white stars shone against the black, bright and clear. You wouldn’t have seen them if you weren’t here, on your back and looking up at them.

“Anyway, they only said it was a hundred won, so I guess that’s fine,” Taehyung grumbled. “Really made me worried there for a second, sheesh.”

You turned your head to look up at him. “You going to live here?”

Taehyung shook his head.

“No, you are.”

You blinked, taken aback. He rewrapped the yam, determining it was too hot to eat right now. He gazed down at you, smiling a little.

“It’s better than that one room you have in that house. Safer too.”

You chewed on your lip. “But I can’t pay the amount I paid when I rented it…”

Taehyung poked you with the yam. “Weren’t you listening? The rent is a hundred won. No, two hundred for you, since I have to make some profit.”

He laid down next to you, eye to eye now, smile getting bigger.

“Although I hear there’s this annoying gardener that comes around every day caring for the plants.”

You were smiling now too, drawn by his cheeky, boxy grin.

“Really? I think he’s pretty cute. I think that’s how he gets away with it.”

His brown eyes locked with yours.

“Will you let me care for you too?”

The sound of the sea, crashing into the rockface, constructing a new memory for you.

“I know you’ll be much harder than a plant,” Taehyung murmured quietly. “Sorry, that’s a dumb thing to say, I meant–”

You pressed your lips against his, cold air chilling your cheeks, warmth spreading throughout your soul.

When you pulled away, breathless, Taehyung was staring at you, eyes wide. Those three words came to you, words that you thought you were never going to say again, words you had for someone else, but you knew this was the right one, the perfect flower.

The one who struggled to grow seven flowers.

White cosmos.

Just for you.

“I love you, Kim Taehyung.”

The next summer.

Seven flowers. White cosmos, bright, glowing, perfectly shaped. Surrounding your left hand. The ring finger held a princess-cut diamond surrounded by six tiny small ones like petals.

The caption.

He grew them perfectly this time.

Jeon Jungkook sighed heavily, placing his phone back in his pocket. The noise around him was loud, clattering and chattering, now a familiar atmosphere. The black bucket hat was low over his eyes, shrouding them. He pulled his face mask higher, hiding his features, not wanting to be recognized. Internet shame was enough; he didn’t need public shame as well. He already had to switch universities because of it.

Jungkook placed his hand back onto the subway rail, shouldering his backpack, staring out the train window at the black tunnel.

masterpost

#taehyung x reader #taehyung x you #kim taehyung x reader #jungkook x reader #jungkook x you #taehyung scenarios #kim taehyung x you #jeon jungkook x reader #jeon jungkook x you

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windless-hurricane · 4 years ago

Text

Sparks

Chapter Two: Orientation and the Crazed Potato Girl

A Reiner x Reader x (Eventual) Jean Fanfic

• ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ •

SUMMARY: After the fall of Shiganshina, you joined the military along with your brother. You had hoped to bring peace to the world by doing so, but the world was a cruel place. You seemed to lose more than you gained, but there was always someone - someone who made losing just a bit…easier. You hoped you could keep them forever, but was there a guarantee in this world?

AUTHOR’S NOTE: *SPOILER ALERT*

I was originally going to cut this chapter, but I just couldn’t after what happened a few episodes ago... 🥺 Sasha, you will forever be in our hearts!

WARNINGS (for entire series): Language, explicit violence, talks of death, suicide, trauma, and mental illness, graphic scenes involving blood and/or death, and sexuality.

WORD COUNT: 1.7k

TAGLIST: @flowersgirl02 @noodlenerd101 @nekohwa @drowned-pathetic-rat @bestgirlb @bleepop

SPARKS MASTERLIST

PREVIOUS CHAPTER

NEXT CHAPTER

• ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ •

“You, cadet! What’s your name?!”

“(Y/N) Bauer, sir,” you shouted back with an angered look in your eyes.

If he hadn’t told you that you stuck out like a sore thumb moments before, you wouldn’t be as angry as you were now.

You knew your hair was quite...white for you being a teenager, but it wasn’t your fault. The last few years have been hell for you, especially since the Titans broke through the wall and destroyed your hometown. It hadn’t been easy, but for this man to come at you for it, it was unforgivable.

You wanted to snap at him, but you caught the eyes of your brother from afar. They were stern and told you exactly what not to do. So, you simply took to answering Shadis’s questions as fast as you could.

As a few cadets watched, Reiner did the same. However, something was eating at him. ‘Bauer, where have I heard that name before,’ he thought to himself.

Shadis hummed. “Would you happen to be related to Kurt Bauer?”

“Yes, sir,” you confirmed. “He was my father.”

Reiner’s eyes widened. White hair, Kurt Bauer. He knew exactly who you were.

“Ah, no wonder you looked so familiar. Your father had a full head of white hair when he was your age too.” He grabbed a strand of your hair, examining it, before nudging your head back roughly. It took everything in you to not retaliate.

“Well, do you hear that, maggots,” he shouted. “You have someone from the esteemed Bauer family here, the family of humanity’s best and strongest soldiers.”

In a split second, everyone turned their gazes to you and ogled you from afar.

You and your brother were from a very popular family, the Bauers to be exact. While you were proud of it, you were always embarrassed at how much attention it brought you. You already felt your ears burning as Shadis spoke again.

“I trained with your father and mother and trained your eldest brother. All real talents. Such a shame they didn’t put it to use though…”

You froze at his statement. What?

“...They all joined the Garrison Regiment.”

They did, you knew they did, but it was all for a reason and he didn’t know anything about it. No one did. No one had the room to talk about them.

Your jaw clenched from anger as your body trembled. No one...

“Hopefully you don’t make the same mistake,” he remarked, finally taking a few steps past you. However, he didn’t get far.

Right behind his feet, you hawked up a loogie and spat it out. He came to an abrupt stop as a few of the cadets surrounding you gasped.

He turned around slower than death and looked straight into your eyes.

“Cadet, could you tell me what you did just now?” His voice was menacing and low, and it made you smirk.

“I apologize, sir,” you saluted with an ever growing smile on your face. “It was just so dusty, I had to clear my throat.”

He lunged toward you in an instant and if anyone was watching from afar, they would say you were about to take your last breath because the man in front of you was going to slaughter you worse than any Titan ever could.

However, you grinned.

Everyone was looking at you like you had a death wish, while your brother simply slapped his hand onto his forehead. Reiner, on the other hand, grinned along with you.

“I know a great place where you wouldn’t have to worry about dust,” he mentioned and your eyebrow shifted.

“Care to show me,” you asked sarcastically.

You hadn’t expected him to show you the lake after orientation and you certainly hadn’t expected him to tell you to jump in and swim past sunset.

Yet, there you were. Still in full uniform, swimming your ass off.

Your entire body burned as you spent hours swimming laps in the lake. Your lungs were on fire and your vision was beginning to blur. If it wasn't for the cold breeze that hit the half of your face as you lifted it for air, you would’ve passed out a while ago.

As you looked into the distance past the splashing water, the orange mass was setting. Thank goodness, you thought.

You kept pushing for what felt like five more hours until the darkness completely overwhelmed the sky. The blackness made you want to close your eyes and drift to sleep, but drowning wasn’t an option now.

So, you used whatever was left of your might to swim to shore and pull yourself out of the lake.

You were drenched, exhausted, and crawling onto the sand with blurry vision. The last thing you were able to do was turn onto your back before collapsing entirely. You panted heavily, your cloudy breath staining the air.

You wanted to strip of your uniform, but couldn’t lift a finger to do so.

You smirked to yourself. ‘I’m going to die out here,’ you thought. ‘I’m going to get hyperthermia and die. Then, Shadis can get fired.’

As you hoped for Shadis’s firing, a pair of footsteps made their way over to you and stopped by your head. You attempted to look, but even that hurt you. So, you simply waited for them to move.

They knelt down beside you and wiped your forehead with a handkerchief. The closer they got, you realized who it was.

“Vik...tor,” you panted and he looked down at you with a confused look on his face.

“Why are you smiling,” he questioned, still wiping your face. You chuckled.

“Just...thinking about Shadis…getting fired...if I die.”

“Tch, you’re not going to die.”

“Well...he still...deserves it,” you remarked, causing him to roll his eyes.

“You’re really unbelievable, sister. C’mon.”

He wrapped his arm around the back of your shoulders and sat you up as slowly as he could. You still groaned in pain however and threw a coughing fit shortly after.

Your brother patted your back as he sighed, “There you go, just let it all out.”

Once you were done, you let out a huge exhale and felt slightly rejuvenated. “Shit, Shadis is a bastard.”

“Did you learn your lesson,” he questioned with a quirked eyebrow and you simply chuckled.

“No.”

“Tch,” he shook his head. “Maybe you really do take after dad.”

“Do you see this hair,” you snorted and he smirked faintly.

“Fair point.”

“I still don’t understand how you only got away with a streak of white hair,” you pointed out, causing him to shrug.

“Well, our family isn't lucky when it comes to stress,” he remarked. “Guess you just got the unluckier side of things.”

“Maybe.”

“Anyways, you need to eat.”

He unexpectedly pulled out a loaf of bread from his pocket and offered it to you. However, your eyes widened in panic.

“But isn’t the mess house still open?” He shook his head.

“This was all I was able to get.” You sighed, but were still content with what your brother had brought you.

So, you nodded thankfully before wrapping your hand around the loaf. However, the moment you did, you both heard growling from afar and froze. You looked to your right and saw a girl in the distance. She was on all fours and watched the both of you with glowing eyes. You squinted harder, trying to make out who it was.

“Wait a minute, isn’t that…” right as you trailed off, she ran toward the both of you at an inhuman speed. “Potato girl?!”

In an instant, her jaw was latched onto the loaf of bread and you and your brother shrieked in fear. He fell back, while you still clung to your bread. You were still very confused as to what was going on, but were deathly hungry. You didn’t even care if you were in pain. You wanted your bread.

You leaned forward determinedly and grabbed her face with one hand.

“Stop acting crazy, potato girl! It’s my bread,” you yelled, attempting to push her off, but her bite was relentless.

You kept pushing on her face as she started doing the same to you and you would have succeeded if your arm didn’t give out from exhaustion.

You fell back in annoyance and watched as she ravaged your poor loaf. Then, she screamed, causing you to flinch.

“Hey, what’re you-“ but she cut you off.

“I’m so sorry,” she cried. “I didn’t mean to. I was just so hungry.” Her mouth was full of chewed up bread and you would’ve been disgusted, if you weren’t more surprised by the fact that she wasn’t acting like an animal anymore.

“It’s whatever,” you pouted.

“Here,” she motioned and you looked down at her hand. There was still a piece of bread in it. While it wasn’t much, your mouth still watered.

“It’s fine,” you cooed. “You can eat it.”

“No, please,” she pleaded, taking your hands abruptly into hers and forcing the bread into them. “Eat it!”

You blushed in embarrassment before pulling away, “Fine, um, thank you...Sa-”

“Sasha,” she nodded. “Sasha Blouse.”

“(Y/N) Bauer,” you gestured to Viktor. “My brother.”

He was still gazing at Sasha nervously, but managed to smile, “Viktor Bauer.”

“Hey, is everything okay out here? I thought I heard screaming,” a new voice asked and you all looked to the owner of it. She was a small blonde girl, stopping once she neared the three of you.

“Yes,” your brother reassured, standing up quickly. If it wasn’t so dark, you would’ve seen the blush on his cheek.

“Oh, that’s good,” she smiled sweetly. “I just wanted to give you bread.” She held out two loaves and your mouth along with Sasha’s began to water. “I know you were running all day and you were swimming, so I thought you might be hungry.”

You and Sasha both looked at each other with wide eyes before looking back at the girl whose name you could’ve sworn was Krista.

“Are you…” you started to say.

“A goddess,” Sasha finished and you looked at her in disbelief.

This really was going to be a long three years.

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thenamesseven · 4 years ago

Text

Pairing: Jongho x reader

Genre: Romance, angst, jail au!

Warnings: Angst, a lot of angst and mentions of blood.

Word count: 4.3

A/N: IM FINALLY BAAAACK! My internship is over and I finally had the time to finish writing this chapter! Sorry for taking so long, I promise I’ll be around for more often now! ^^ Enjoy this chapter!

<- Previous Chapter Masterlist Next chapter ->

Blood.

When Wooyoung opened the infirmary door and watched the scene in front of him, his surroundings started spinning around at a fast pace. The male gripped the door handle tightly, breathing shortening to avoid smelling the metallic scent that filled up the room.

There was blood everywhere on the floor. It would be impossible to get to him without stepping into the sticky bloody puddles that were forming around his body.

Wooyoung had seen all kinds of things while working in a jail. Fights, attempts of murder, suicides, death wasn't a stranger for him. This time however, there was something different about the situation he just encountered. The one laying on the floor might be a criminal, Mingi's hands were stained with blood, with theft but under all that, behind all the things he did, a good person hid. Wooyoung knew Mingi wasn’t bad, life just brought him to this place but he would have surely made better choices in his life if he had the chance to in the past.

Time slowed down when reached for his walkie-talkie, panick was blocking all of his senses like he couldn't even hear himself as he called for help and medical assistance. Wooyoung rushed to the inmate's side, almost falling down onto the floor when his shoes stepped on the blood that surrounded Mingi's body, the red liquid made the surface slippery and Wooyoung would have to be careful if he didn't want to make the situation even worse by hurting himself too.

"Mingi?" His voice was rushed, tense and shook with hesitance as he reached out to shake his body "Mingi'' Wooyoung's voice turned stern, trying to see if a stricter voice would bring him back to consciousness. "Mingi'' He tried again, kneeling down onto the floor, staining his uniform pants with blood as he reached out to gently slap his face.

He needed a reaction. Anything.

Desperate to get any sign of life from him, Wooyoung's eyes scanned the inmate's body, quickly finding where the open wound that was covered by blood and stained clothes was. It was near his stomach, more on the side, the amount of blood looked bad but he knew Mingi would survive if the knife hadn't touched any vital organs. His hands flew to the wound, pressing as hard as he could in order to stop the bleeding.

Mingi groaned loudly in response, probably in pain due to the sudden pressure on his side and Wooyoung felt as if the heaviest weight had been lifted from his shoulders.

There was still some life in him, everything wasn’t lost yet.

Despite Mingi not enjoying the sensation of Wooyoung’s hands pressuring his side, the male kept doing it as hard as he could, ignoring the awful sensation of his hands becoming wet and sticky with another man’s blood. He was not good at this, if it hadn’t been a life or death situation he would have probably passed out already, Wooyoung was never a fan of blood.

“Mingi stay with me” He muttered looking down at the inmate, watching how the slightly older male struggled to keep his eyes open, his vision becoming blurry as he didn’t even know who was the one hurting him “Don’t fall asleep alright? You have to stay awake”

“Jaehyun…” He whispered, ignoring everything Wooyoung was saying. If he was going to die the last thing he was going to do was drag that fucker down with him. He probably wouldn’t pay the consequences, Jaehyun had made sure to get along with the high ranks of this jail but he would try at least, he just had to.

“I know it was Jaehyun, I know” Wooyoung looked at the door when more guards stumbled inside, instantly stopping as soon as they saw the scene in front of their eyes. One of them ran out and the sound of his gagging as he threw out echoed in the busy hall loud enough for the people in the infirmary to hear.

“Mingi” Wooyoung gently slapped his face when he saw him closing his eyes, his body temperature was unbelievably low and his muscles were too relaxed for Wooyoung’s liking “Mingi stay awake, the ambulance is coming”

“Jongho…”

Wooyoung shook his head, motioning for Mingi to shut up and save his energy in order to stay conscious “He’ll visit you later, stay with me Mingi, safe your strength”

“Take care of him” He insisted, not listening to Wooyoung “Don’t let him get in trouble, no matter how stubborn he is”

“Mingi-”

“I know you don’t hate him that much” The smile of Mingi’s face caught Wooyoung so off guard, that he opened and closed his mouth like a breathless fish, not knowing what to do or say to his most recent words “I know you’ll help him, I know you’ll get him out”

After saying those words, Mingi lost consciousness. Wooyoung knew it because his eyes closed and his muscles relaxed so much that Wooyoung started panicking. “Mingi” Wooyoung repeated his name, gently shaking him in order to wake him up “Mingi?” His tone, more urgent than before, alarmed the cops outside that were waiting for the ambulance and paramedics to arrive “Mingi!”

But Mingi couldn’t hear him anymore.

Hospitals are commonly disliked by people. It was a word that brings bad memories to people, a synonym for death and illness which is why most humans try to avoid this place. This is totally understandable though, you don’t come to a hospital to have some fun. Sure sometimes happiness filled the rooms due to recovery or births but that feeling usually got drowned by the sadness and desperation that filled the rest of the patients around.

You’ve always wanted to work in a hospital though, the idea of taking care of people, watching them recover and helping them through their illness always got your attention. You’ve been the kind of person that put others before yourself, Jongho usually scolded you about this but it was your nature, you just couldn’t help it.

Today was different though.

Today you hated this place as much as a normal human being did.

You rushed out of the taxi that drove you here from your apartment as soon as the driver stopped in front of the entrance. Placing some money -that would surely be more than enough- into his hand, you grabbed your purse and closed the door, half walking, half running to your destination. Pushing the double doors open, a wave of sickness and nausea hit you hard as soon as the characteristic smell of antiseptic mixed with medicine filled your nose, you ignored it though, as well as the serious yet worried glance the woman at the front desk threw your way. The brightness that only became stronger by the white walls and floor surrounding you made your head spin but you somehow managed to keep walking forward, taking step after step closer to where Wooyoung had told you they were waiting.

All kinds of thoughts ran through your mind.

You should have been there with him, you should have been there to stop it cause Jaehyun wouldn’t have acted the way he did if you had been there with Mingi, you shouldn’t have left him alone, this would have never happened if you had been there instead of hiding at home like a coward. Blaming yourself wasn’t new, you’ve always had a tendency of being a bit too hard on yourself when something happened, Jongho knew this better than everybody but this time he wasn’t around to silence the mean voice that whispered in your ear, that haunted your mind.

Standing there in the waiting room were Wooyoung along with Hongjoong, Yunho and San, who sat nearby the doors that led into the different operating rooms. You were the only ones there though, hopefully Mingi was getting as much help as the doctors could provide right now. Wooyoung stood in the middle of the room, arms crossed on his chest, tension evident in his body. He was still covered in blood and the sight of him made you gasp so loud that they all turned their heads towards you curiously, worried. Pain and distress obvious in their features.

This is all your fault.

“(Y/N)”

Before you could say something, Wooyoung opened his arms and welcomed you into them, wrapping them around your fragile body gently and comfortably, soothing the pain and heaviness in your chest for a few seconds. The blood was dried in his uniform so it didn’t stain your clothes but the metallic yet disgusting scent surrounding him didn’t let it go unnoticed.

“What happened?” You asked quietly, still with his arms around you “How is he?”

“By the time I got to the infirmary to check on him he was already on the floor” Wooyoung explained quietly, running his hand up and down your back “He was conscious so I tried to keep him awake, try to stop the hemorrhage but there was too much blood and he stopped talking and-”

“What I can’t understand is how things like this can happen in a place where inmates should be watched throughout the whole day?” San’s hard yet cold voice brought silence to the room, you dragged your eyes towards them, acknowledging their presence for the first time since you got here.

The three of them looked miserable.

Wooyoung let you go and turned around to face them. He was tense but you knew him well enough to know he would attempt to stay calm in order to not let the situation get out of hand. “Some of them manage to find the right times to get away from us and-”

“So you admit you guys are not doing your job well?” Yunho joined his friend, glaring at Wooyoung as he crossed his arms on his chest. Hongjoong limited himself to look down at something that was displayed on the screen of his phone. Probably business? Whatever it was seemed to be important.

“I mean, that wasn’t even the place I was watching” Wooyoung replied hesitantly, not liking the accusations that were suddenly being thrown his way.

“Guys-” You tried to stop the upcoming argument, to help them relax a little but San glared at you, shutting you up immediately.

“Why were you going to the infirmary then?” He asked, curiously looking at him. “Were you involved in what happened?” He pressed further, willing to pressure him even more.

“What are you trying to say?” Wooyoung stepped forward, hating how they were trying to blame him for what had happened while he had only wanted to save their friend.

Yunho stood up and took a step closer to Wooyoung, taking the same threatening stance Wooyoung had and before you could get in between them, Hongjoong that had stayed quiet during the entire exchange and who you thought wasn’t paying attention to any of the words that were being said finally looked up.

“This is not the place nor time to discuss this” He said, seriousness evident in his face as he looked between Wooyoung and Yunho. None of the males moved, still staring into each other’s eyes right before their leader spoke up again. “Officer Jung did as much as he could Yunho, now we just have to trust Mingi”

“He better get out of this one alive” San scoffed besides him as Yunho sat back down, your blood freezing when you saw how much hatred, how much pain shone in the male’s eyes “Because I’ll make all of their lives a living nightmare if he dies”

“He will” You whispered quietly, rubbing your eyes as Wooyoung sighed taking a seat besides you “He will get out of this one”

The room Wooyoung had guided you into was similar to the ones you’ve seen in movies before, it felt as if you were about to get interrogated by someone, that wasn’t the case though and unfortunately, you were just waiting to deliver some news. Something you couldn’t believe yet.

The ticking of the clock was the only thing that could be heard as it echoed in the empty room, your fingers nervously fidgeting with the hem of your hoodie as you stared down at the table, nervously waiting for Wooyoung to arrive. The tissues filling your pockets were starting to break into small pieces from how much you’ve been fidgeting with them and your swollen eyes burned from all the tears you’ve shed during the last few hours. Your nose was surely as red as Rudolph’s but that was not the thing the worried you the most.

Your current biggest worry opened the door and snapped you out of your thoughts, his eyes full of concern landing on your face as soon as he entered the room.

“Twenty minutes” Wooyoung said from behind Jongho, eyes on you to make sure you wouldn’t surpass the time limit he was putting on your little reunion “That’s all you got”

“Thanks Wooyoung” You whispered quietly, not trusting your voice too much. Wooyoung just threw

a small smile your way, eyes scanning your face briefly before he closed the door behind Jongho, going to wherever he would have to go to make sure nobody else would notice Jongho wasn’t in his cell at this time of the night.

You were sure he had heard what happened, news flew fast in this kind of place but you still wanted to be the one to tell him, you wanted to be there for him even if that meant seeing him break for the first time in all the years the two of you had been together.

He deserves to be told by you that Mingi was dead, that he wasn’t coming back anymore.

Jongho still stood by the door, ignoring the empty chair that was placed on the other side of the table waiting for him to take a seat. His hands were in his pockets, eyes down on the floor as he moved his weight from one of his legs to the other, not even knowing how to stand.

Letting out a shaky sigh, you gathered as much strength as you could and stood up, feeling his eyes on you while you walked around the room, picked up the empty chair and placed it down in front of the one you’ve been sitting on all this time. Jongho needed to be closer, he would need you to comfort him as soon as you confirmed the awful thoughts running through his head right now.

“Sit down” You told him, motioning to the chair you’ve just moved.

Jongho looked up at you, making your eyes meet. Time stopped between the two of you, the broken glance in his eyes broke your heart even more and you knew that even though the words hadn’t left your mouth yet he still knew what you were about to say. He wasn’t stupid after all and if Mingi had recovered from the attack he suffered in the infirmary the two of you wouldn’t be here, looking at each other, beating around the bush since none of you wanted to say it out loud.

“Listen to me” Jongho was the first one to break the silence, sadness dripping from his tone as he reached out to grab one of your hands, holding it gently.

“Jongho wait” You cut him off before he could keep talking, the sound of his voice giving you the little push you needed to start talking about what you planned to said “I need to tell-”

“I know” He nodded, eyes staring into yours as his grip on your hand got tighter. There were tears pooling in the corners of his eyes, pain written all over of his face but like always, Jongho kept his mask up and acted as if he was feeling nothing, as if this was just one of his usual days “I know (Y/N) and you need to listen to me”

“But-” Just thinking about Mingi being gone brought a thousand tears to roll down your cheeks, your hands shaking as he gently pulled you against his chest. It was unbelievable how you had come with the intentions of comforting him but it ended up him being the one comforting you. Jongho’s pain was surely stronger than yours, Mingi had been there for him when you couldn’t, he had been the one that kept him safe in this hell and now that was gone.

“I’ll cry his loss when this is over, when we’re safe and sound” He said gently, one of his hands caressing the back of your head while the other kept you close to his body. “You need to listen to me attentively, alright?” Jongho moved back enough to look into your eyes, both of his hands cupping your cheeks now so you could only look at him, not allowing you to look away. “Things are getting really bad for me” He said honestly, wiping your endless tears with his thumbs as they fell “Jaehyun is coming for me (Y/N) and let’s be honest, he has more friends than I do in here” Everything Jongho was saying made perfect sense, Jaehyun’s freedom was getting out of control and he could do whatever he wanted, whenever he wanted unlike Jongho. That scared you to death, his next target would be Jongho for sure and the thought of losing him like you lost Mingi only increased the pain in your chest.

“I’ll get you out of here” You said almost immediately, heart pounding against your chest “I’ll talk with Hongjoong and we’ll speed up the process and-”

“(Y/N)” Jongho’s voice lowered, his hands squeezing your cheeks a bit tighter to get your attention “I know you will baby, I know you want to get me out of here” The small smile on his lips broke your heart, something told you he was saying goodbye to you, that there were plans in his head that wouldn’t end the way you wanted to.

“You can’t leave me” You begged, shaking your head.

“I never will Treasure, I will never leave you” Jongho’s voice trembled and the alarms in your head rang louder “Listen to me alright? Just listen to me and you can say whatever you want when I’m done” Taking a deep breath you nodded, stomach twisting nervously, anticipation killing you “Something might happen to me, we both know that (Y/N), there’s nothing Jaehyun wants more than killing me” Your lower lip trembled when you nodded at his words, you also knew that and you hated yourself for not being able to do something against it “I’ll obviously try to avoid that though, it’s not like I’m going to wait for him to attack” His smile was full of sadness and he looked at you desperate, helpless “But if something happens-”

“No”

“If something happens” He repeated caressing your cheeks, one of his hands leaving your face to move into one of his pockets. His hand shook with emotion and nervousness “I want to do this if, unfortunately, I don’t have the chance to in the future” Before you could process what was going on, Jongho went down on one of his knees right in front of you, looking up at you with a look of love and adoration you’ve never seen in his eyes before. His mask was coming down, he wasn’t hiding his emotions from you anymore.

“Jongho-”

“I know you’ve imagined this way differently” He said with a small smile, tears still present in his eyes as he reached up and grabbed one of your hands “Because I was there when you talked for hours about how you’ve always wanted your wedding to be” Your heart was beating so fast at this point that it wouldn’t surprise you if it suddenly broke your ribcage and got through it “And definitely getting proposed to in a jail was never your number one idea but this is what I’ve got, I’m tired of waiting and I’m not taking the risk of losing my last chance” Jongho squeezed your hand tightly, a tear slipping from his eyes “Treasure, (Y/N), I’ve been in love with you since the day I met you” His confession squeezed your heart, you’ve always known Jongho and you had feelings for each other but hearing him say it hit you way differently “It’s surely not a surprise because let’s be honest, I’ve always made sure you knew you were and still are the most important thing in my life” His touch got gentler and his eyes softer, he couldn’t believe he was finally doing this “And if I get out of here, I promise I will give you the world baby, I’ll give you everything you’ve ever wanted, we’ll have that wedding, you’ll have that house you’ve dreamed of and I’ll hopefully help you create the most beautiful family in the entire universe” You bit down on your lower lip, seeing how more tears started rolling down his cheeks “But if something happens, I don’t want to….To die regretting not doing this, regretting not making you mine” He suddenly stood up, pulling you closer to him, resting his forehead against yours.

“I’ve always been yours” You whispered quietly, letting your tears mix with his as they fell down your faces

“Marry me (Y/N)” It wasn’t a question, it wasn’t a proposal, he was begging you to do it, dying for you to accept him not as your best friend or as your lover but as your husband. Jongho wanted to be your other half, the person you would spend the rest of your days with, the one you would die for if it came to that “You’re the best thing that has ever happened to me, the reason I’m still alive fighting against all chances, the fuel that keeps my heart beating” He was whispering these words, voice shaky as if he was scared to say this too loud. Jongho has never been good when it came to feelings but he was opening himself up for you and only you tonight. “Be mine forever, you’ve already stolen my heart….Why not steal my last name as well?”

His last sentence made the both of you smile quietly, this cheesy side of him would have been truly funny if you weren’t in the situation you were in right now. He was asking you to marry him but deep down, it still felt as if he was saying goodbye to you.

“On one condition” You cleared your throat and looked at him, serious as ever “You have to get your ass out of here” You said holding back your tears, hearing your own voice breaking almost a thousand times during the same sentence “And prepare with me the wedding of our dreams” His smile got bigger, his head automatically nodding at your words “And you’ll have to wear a tuxedo” He hated them, Jongho always complained of how uncomfortable they looked but you knew he would look incredibly handsome in one of them.

“I’ll do whatever it takes to see you walking down the aisle” He whispered, staring down at your lips, his hands holding one of yours as he slid a ring down your finger, the cold metal turning your skin into goosebumps “I know it’s ugly as fuck but it’s what I’ve found around, I’ll get you the prettiest ring ever when we get out of here” The two of you laughed softly as you looked down at the bland stripe of silver metal around your finger.

“I love it” You mumbled happily, making him laugh a bit louder this time.

“You do huh? Choi (Y/N)?” The sound of your name along with his last name made your hearts simultaneously skip a beat, both of your smiles getting undeniably bigger as you looked into each other’s eyes. “So tell me”His lips brushed against yours temptingly, hungry for kisses. “Will you marry me? I swear I’ll wear a tuxedo” You giggled against his lips, nodding quietly at his words.

“Yes Jongho, I’ll marry you”

Outside in the parking lot, Wooyoung leaned back against a black car, cigarette between his lips as he breathed in the smoke that released some of the stress in his body.

“Thanks for the help today, we wouldn’t have been able to do it without you” Wooyoung shrugged at the words. Keeping his eyes up on the moon that shone above them.

“I just did the right thing, it was time for me to finally do something” He replied, kicking a stone near his shoe, watching it get lost in the darkness that surrounded the parking lot.

“You’ve been doing the right thing for a long time Wooyoung, without you, who would have watched Jongho’s back all these years?”

“I won’t feel like we succeeded until all of this is over” He simply replied, pushing himself away from the side of the car as he stepped on the cigarette he just threw down onto the floor.

“We’ll get him out of there alive, just hold on there a little longer”

“I think we’re running out of time” He turned around to look at the male, eyes serious and voice tense. Things were getting too complicated, the plan wasn’t going how it was supposed to. Getting Jongho out of jail wouldn’t be as easy as they thought it would be.

“Have I ever lied to you?” The other asked him, smiling a little when Wooyoung shook his head “Trust us, Jongho and (Y/N) will be out of here as soon as possible”

“Better hurry up though” Wooyoung insisted, not afraid to pressure the other male “It will be better if you guys get them out of here alive rather than Jaehyun getting them out of here in plastic bags”

“Patience is the key to success” A sigh was heard, the engine of his car revving alive since it was his time to go. He had things to do, plans to discuss with the rest of his friends. “Pleasure working with you officer Jung”

“As long as you keep (Y/N) safe, the pleasure was all mine Hongjoong”

Taglist: @guess--monster @cometoceantrenches @miatsubaki23 @lovelyvitamin @heroesfan101 @daintysan @t-tbinnie @shyshybabyy @little-precious-baby @bebetiny @mirror-juliet @btrombley13 @yukine-smx @wavetease

#ateez #kafenetwork #kdiarynet #ateez jongho #jongho #choi jongho #jongho fluff #jongho angst #jongho smut #jongho x reader #ateez jongho x reader #ateez fluff #ateez angst #wooyoung #wooyoung x reader #mingi angst

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the-sympathetic-villain · 4 years ago

Text

L’Appel Du Vide - Chapter 2

AO3 | First | Previous | Next | Masterpost

Description: Logan has been captured by a government agency who researches human with supernatural powers. Able to manipulate the world with his mind and tell what others are thinking, Logan finds himself in one of the most high security government prisons in the country that's run by a sinister Dr. Emile Picani. After several long months of deprivation and torture at the hands of Dr Picani, a devilish-looking man with scales on his face will break into the prison looking for Logan's less than friendly bunkmate, but will he be too late? Prompt by @LoganIsACoolTeacher on AO3

Endgame pairings: Lociet, Intruality, Prinxiety

Word Count: 3323

Chapter Warnings: Blood, Crying, Depression, Casual Suicidal ideation, Depriving someone of food, Captivity, Solitary confinement, Knife, Threats of violence, Swearing, Mentions of abuse/torture, Injuries, Panic Attack, Food (Let me know if need to add anything!)

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The first night, Logan screamed himself hoarse well into the middle of the night. His body ached with misery, as he yelled and pulled at his restraint. His wrist was bruised and he could feel a this stream of blood dripping from where the metal had cut into his skin but he kept fighting until his body collapsed with exhaustion and he was forced into a restless sleep.

Agony burned in his chest as the long hours dragged by in absolute silence. Being alone was a rare experience for Logan and one he adamantly avoided. While the sound of the constant chattering of strangers thoughts would probably sound nightmarish to the average person, he'd grown accustomed to the comforting presence of others' thoughts. He was used to the white noise, and though he knew it was irrational, the sudden silence growing nearly painful with every hour that passed.

The second night, the isolation started to dig its claws into the corners of his mind. The restraint on his wrist limited his movement to only a few feet around the bed and so far, he'd spent hours staring into the empty window on the far side of the room. Anger twisted in his stomach at the thought that he was likely being watched through the one-way reflective surface and he felt like screaming at his silent observers until his voice gave out, but the previous night’s experience had already proved that effort would be futile. Expending the energy would only make him hungrier.

All he could do was wait.

The third day, he'd woken to find the restraint on his wrist had been released while he'd slept. He blinked, unsure of what this new revelation meant for him. Rubbing his sore wrist, he sat up to scan the quiet room. The door remained closed, and likely locked, but somehow a container of water has found its way into the room. He stepped off the bed, glancing cautiously at the one-way mirror as he approached the glass jug sitting at the base of his door. He was aware of the danger. Tampering with his water supply would be a simple way to entrap him or drug him, but his thirst quickly overrode any hesitation he had. They were his only access to resources and he knew he'd have to give in eventually or risk simply dying of dehydration. Not to mention, quite frankly, if the people in this place decided to kill him, he had little recourse in stopping them. No amount of bargaining would change that fact that he was at their mercy.

Next to the water, he found a fresh change of clothes. The sight of fresh white hospital-like clothing brought a bitter taste to his mouth as memories of the night before came rushing back. He hadn't seen a hint of another person since the doctor had left him, taking with him the only people who might be even remotely sympathetic to his situation. He brushed his thumb over the stiff fabric picturing the faces of the two other prisoners who'd been dressed in the same sterile uniform as he now held in his hand. Still, he changed his clothes, feeling a new level of numb as he changed in front of the window.

Numbness had settled in fully by the fourth night. The hunger left him too weak to stay focused on anything for long. The water provided for him sustained his body in only the barest sense and he could feel his willpower draining away as he spent more time curled in his bed, mind blank as he succumbed to the silence. That night, a particularly sinister breed of depression had taken root in his mind, pushing him toward the precipice of giving up. Dark, self-destructive thoughts clouded his mind as finally drifted off to sleep, making his abrupt awakening all the more jarring as he opened his eyes to find a sharp blade pressed to his throat and a shadow with glowing purple eyes looming over him.

“Move and I'll slit your throat.”

Pure adrenaline flooded over Logan at the familiar voice. The man who'd nearly strangled him the first night straddled his chest, silhouetted against the dark room by the eerie red light. Logan swallowed, barely breathing as he as he pressed himself backward, tilted his head away from the blade.

“You will answer my questions.”

A whimper escaped Logan’s lips, but he forced a small nod, hardly daring to move under the delicate pressure of the sharp blade.

“Why's Picani interested in you?”

“I don't kn—”

“Find a better answer.” The man's hiss sent chills down his spine as the knife moved up Logan’s neck. “The other night, you blew me back into the wall like a goddamn ragdoll. What’s was that?”

Logan sucked in a shallow breath as he struggled to keep his weak body breathing. “Tele—telekinesis.”

“Do not fuck with me right n—”

“I’m not—” Logan breathed, closing his eyes. “I can move things with my mind—”

The blade pressed against his throat with a preciseness just short of drawing blood. “If that were true, why haven’t you blasted me again?”

“I—I don't control it. I never learned how.” Logan blinked, surprised as the blade released a touch of pressure. He blinked, staring up at blank expression on the man's face as he continued.

“Picani’s guard said you'd feed on me.” The man growled his disbelief as he glared down at Logan. “Explain.”

“I don’t know what he was—"

“Not good enough.” The man's deep voice growled above him as the blade returned to his throat. "If you don't start talking, I'll—"

“Please—” Logan whimpered as the sharp nicked his throat and a thin line of blood dripped down his neck. “—It's not what you think.”

“Then explain,” The man’s eyes flashed dangerously as he continued but the pressure of the blade eased slightly. “before I start to get impatient.”

Logan swallowed, feeling a wet streak trail down his face. “Others’ thoughts—I hear them.”

“Are you telling me you feed on my thoughts?”

“No—“ Logan whispered as tears flowed freely down his face. “Please, I don’t know how it works but I can’t—It doesn’t hurt anyone. I wouldn't hurt anyone. Please—”

Logan clenched his eyes shut, stifling a terrified whimper as the blade moved up his neck. His heart pounded in his chest until the blade lifted slightly from his throat and a wet sob escaped his throat. He sucked in a breath as the man leaned back, knife still pointed in Logan's direction as he continued in a hushed tone.

“Are you listening to my thoughts right now?”

“N—no,” Logan breathed, avoiding the man's eyes. “I'm too weak. I can’t—I can’t do anything.”

The man was quiet for a long moment, eyes glinting in the red light as he stared at Logan. “What'd he do to you?”

“Who?”

“Picani,” The man's voice softened slightly. “The doctor, I mean. What's he done to you?”

“I—I’ve been kept alone and—” Logan bit his lip, uncertain about sharing the true depths of his weakness. “—and I haven’t eaten. Anything that fuels my power, he's taken it from me. I can't—I can't hurt you."

The silence hung in the air for a long, tense moment before the man spoke again, knife still inches from Logan's throat.

“Close your eyes.”

A chill crept up Logan’s spine at the seriousness in the man's voice. “Please, don't—”

“Don’t argue.”

Logan swallowed the lump in his throat as the glisten of the blade pointed at him inches from his face. Stilled trembling and tense, he let his eyes flutter closed.

“Move your hands where I can see them.”

“I'm already blind—”

“I didn’t ask for your opinion.”

“Fine.” Logan muttered as he rested his head back on the pillow, lifting his hands in apparent surrender. After a moment, he could feel the bed shift as the man climbed off the bed in absolute silence. Logan strained his ears, but he was unable to trace the man’s careful movements after he stepped onto the flow. He slowed his breathing and forced himself to remain still, unsure of how the man would react to even the smallest twitch.

“If Picani finds out I have a knife because you rat me out, I will not hesitate to kill you with my bare hands.”

Logan bit his lip, body shaking as he gave a stiff nod. “U-understood.”

“Telling him won’t protect you.” The man continued gruffly. “It will only put me in danger.”

“I won't tell him.” Logan swallowed. “You have my word.”

“Your word doesn’t mean shit to me.”

A bitter from twitched at the corner of Logan’s lip. “The man dropped you back in here in the middle of the night, while I was weak and defenseless, knowing full well that you'd already made one attempt on my life. I'm not so much of a fool to believe him my ally.”

“Picani was hedging his bets that you'd appeal to my good will.”

Logan let out a huff, dropping his head to his chest. “Well, it appears he made a miscalculation.”

“Perhaps.” Virgil sighed quietly after a moment. “Or perhaps not. You can have this, but I want you to give me back the wrapper, so I can hide it later.”

A small object struck Logan’s chest, causing him to flinch back with a sharp breath. His muscles tensed as his eyes cautiously fluttered open to reveal the ominous sight of the stranger’s eyes glinting at him through the darkness. Slowly, he sat upright, maintaining eye contact as he turned his head down to stare at the protein bar in his lap.

“Don't make a mess.”

Glancing cautiously up at the other man’s stiff form, Logan leaned forward to tear at the wrapper. He wasn’t sure what had brought about the sudden change of heart, but he wasn’t about to waste his first chance for food in three days. His hands shook as he attempted to tear into the difficult piece of plastic, growing desperate as the man above him tensed.

“Hey, be careful!” The man held up a hand, stopping as Logan flinched at his volume. He paused, giving Logan a quick sympathetic look before edging closer. “Listen, hand it over for a second.”

Logan hesitated, gripping the bar tightly as if his life depended on it.

“Listen, dude. It's all yours, I swear.” The man whispered with a wary smile, holding up his friends as he dropped down on the side of the bed. His movements were slow, as if he was suddenly deliberately making an attempt to be non-threatening. “Just let me open it for you so you don’t make a mess. I don’t want to get backlash for helping you out. Okay?”

“Okay.” Logan whispered after a moment of tense silence, keeping his head bowed from the man's gaze as the man took the bar from his hands. “Thank y—”

“Don't thank me.” The man cut him off sternly. He made quick work of tearing the wrapper open before offering it back to Logan. “What's your name?”

“Logan.”

“Okay, Logan. Mine's Virgil.”

The man whisper filled the air as he waited patiently for Logan to take the bar from the wrapper. Logan took a quick bite, watching the man in his periphery as he chewed the small offering of food slowly. His body ached for him to finish faster, but he didn't want to be caught off guard if the man suddenly changed his mind.

“Listen, I'm sorry.” Virgil muttered as Logan took another bite. “I know I must have scared the shit out of you just now.”

Logan blinked up in mild surprise at the man's change in tone, still wary of the man's anger as he swallowed his first bite.

“You were being cautious.”

“That doesn’t suddenly make any of this shit okay,” Virgil muttered as he crumpled the wrapper into his pocket and stared at his lap. “The way I reacted is straight fucked, but you got to know that Picani only keep his most dangerous subjects this deep into the labs. You're not the first piece of fresh meat Picani’s dropped in my bunk—And when I heard the guards talking about you feeding on me, I panicked.”

“I assume the doctor has given you plenty of reason to be wary of newcomers.” Logan whispered, still slightly unnerved by the man's choice of words. “H-how long have you been here?”

“Long enough that I stopped counting the days.”

Virgil absently ran his fingers through his hair as Logan took in the sight of the man for the first time. His white attire seemed dirtier than before, especially next to the stark white color of Logan’s matching attire. Logan’s eyes tipped up to the man's face. Fresh bruises covered his face and arms and large pieces of gauze appeared to have been haphazardly applied to his head and around his elbows in a poor attempt at first aid for whatever injuries he sustained over the last few days.

"W-where did they take y—”

“Don’t ask.” Virgil interrupted abruptly, glancing at the fearful look in Logan’s eyes as he cut him off. He paused, briefly considering the harshness his words before looking up at Logan. “You'll find out soon enough and trust me, you'll wish you never found out.”

“The doctor—He hurts you because of your powers.” Logan observed, curling his knees to his chest as Virgil’s dark gaze turned back to him. “Doesn't he?”

Virgil blinked up at him. "How did you—"

"I saw you starting to turn invisible before the doctor walked in on us." Logan bit his lip, looking shyly at his lap. "Just after I blew you back into the wall."

"Huh, well, its not invisibility." Virgil huffed, dropping his shoulders as he pointed up at the red lights. "I can manipulate light. It's the reason for all of those."

"What?" Logan furrowed his brow, glancing at the strange lights.

"I can't shift red light as easily as the rest of the spectrum." Virgil muttered bitterly. "They put these in here to make sure that Picani always knows where I'm at."

"And he hurts you because of these abilities?"

"He runs tests." Virgil blinked, looking up a the fear Logan was barely concealing behind his eyes. “Picani’s a bastard and this—” Virgil muttered, looking disgusted as he stared at his bandages before glancing over at Logan. “—is nothing. He's done much worse to me when he gets worked up. He says its about figuring out how I do it, but if you ask me, he just gets off on hearing me scream.”

Logan's skin tingled with fear and he could feel tears growing in his eyes as he swallowed past the lump in his throat and nodded. “I felt like that might be the case.”

“He owns us. We’re not even people to him.” Virgil’s words fel from his lips absently as he rambled. “And when Picani gets a new subject, he's miserable. He a whole new level of sadism and miser—Shit.”

Virgil paused as Logan sucked in a sharp breath, shaking from the overwhelming series of events from the last few nights.

“Hey, don't panic.” Virgil jolted upright, turning to rest his hands on Logan’s shoulders. “Wait—No, no, just breathe with me. Don't panic.”

Logan sucked in a ragged breath as Virgil rested a hand on his chest, applying a gentle pressure to help ground him. His throat ached as he tried to suppress another sob and Virgil curled an arm around his shoulder.

“You are going to get through this, Logan.” Virgil hushed him urgently. “God. I'll help you but you need to stop. You can't lose it now.”

“I—I’m sorry.” Logan felt himself tugging on his hair as he whispered between ragged breaths. " I'm s-s-sorr—"

“It's okay.” Virgil whispered insistently, tightening his grip on Logan’s shoulders. “You're going to be okay. Just get your breathing under control.”

Logan nodded, body aching as he suppressed the overwhelming panic seizing his muscles. Slowly, through Virgil’s gentle touches and kind words his breathing returned to normal and his muscles started to relax.

“There you go.” Virgil let out a sigh, leaning back. "You did okay."

“I'm sorry.” Logan whispered between pained breaths. “I'm being irrational—”

“Don’t do that to yourself. Your reaction is the only thing that makes sense in this godforsaken place,” Virgil’s eyes tipped sympathetically towards Logan in the dark, flashing with the knowledge of their grim reality. “but you can’t afford to be emotional here. You'll get hurt if you do this around the wrong people.”

Logan paused, feeling his breathing slow a bit at the kind look in Virgil’s glowing purple eyes. “Thank you for your help.”

“I mean it. You can't react like that with the doctor.” Virgil whispered, roughly wiping away the streaks of tears off his cheeks. “The doctor will exploit every fear you show him. You have to be stronger than him.”

“O-okay.” Logan whispered, still trembling as Virgil talked him through his panic.

“Find a place in your head that you can disappear to when you’re in his hands.” Virgil stated with a pitiful smile as he stared at Logan’s distant stare. “Whatever you do, don’t show him what you’re feeling.”

“I will—um, thank you for the advice.”

“It's nothing.” Virgil muttered quietly. “Consider it an apology for waking you up with a shiv to you throat. Alright?”

Logan sucked on his lip, curling his knees to his chest. “It's fine. I realize now why you acted in such a manner.”

"It's not fine, but whatever." Virgil shrugged as his lip twitched with guilt. “but either way, you look like shit and I think you should get some rest.”

“I'm not sure if I’ll be able to sleep at this point.”

“You need to try. You need whatever energy you can get to get through tomorrow.”

Logan blinked up at the serious tone in Virgil’s voice as he slid up on the bed and faced the door.

“I'll keep an eye out and wake you before Picani and his goons show up. Okay?”

“S-sure.” Logan whispered, chilled by the seriousness in Virgil’s voice.

“You can trust me on this, Logan.” Virgil paused raising an eyebrow at Logan. “There’s not much I can do to protect you, but at the very least, I won’t let Picani catch you by surprise.”

Logan let out a breath as Virgil patted the bed next to him. Stiffly, Logan slid over to him and slipped underneath the thin blanket. Uneasily, he rested down on the pillow next to where the Virgil perched, staring at the door. “Thank you, Virgl. I—I know you don't have to help me.”

“I want to.” Virgil muttered under his breath almost to himself. His voice was so quiet Logan nearly didn’t catch the end of his statement. “I never meant for anybody to get hurt.”

Logan blinked, considering Virgil’s words as a deep exhaustion crept over him. He leaned his head back on the pillow, staring up at the distant look in Virgil’s eyes as he stared at the closed door of their cell. He sighed. Falling asleep next to the stranger who'd had a knife to his throat only minutes seemed like an impossible feat but only a few short minutes had passed before the exhaustion began to outweigh his anxiety. He could feel his eyelids dropping even as his heart fluttered with fear of the man next to him. This had to be a mistake and Logan was well aware of that fact. Yet, as his mind drifted off to sleep, he found himself easing to sleep with the madman with the knife next to him anyway.

---

Author’s Note: That’s it for now, but hopefully it won’t be too much longer before we get to here more about these poor boys. Thanks for reading, and again, if you want to be on the taglist, all you have to do is let me know!

General Taglist:

@justanotherhumanstuff @im-an-anxious-wreck @shadowyplaidpurseegg

#sanders sides #sanders sides fic #sanders sides fanfiction #sanders sides fanfic #ts logan #logan sanders #ts virgil #virgil sanders #tw weapon #tw abuse #tw food #L'Appel Du Vide #villain writes

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dingdongitsbees · 4 years ago

Text

BLACK-EYED SUSAN | LEVI X READER HUNGER GAMES AU

Chapter 12: Together

Previous - Next

Tw: attempted suicide

WC: 5.4k Ao3 link Ask to be added to the taglist! It will be updated weekly on Saturdays

Second person version (“you” pronouns) can be found here

Master List

So please hurry, leave me / I can't breathe / Please don't say you love me / 胸がはち切れそうで (my chest’s about to burst) / One word from you and I would jump off of this ledge I'm on, baby / Tell me "don't" so I can crawl back in

– Mitski; First love / Late Spring

“It’s time.”

He didn’t let those words register in his brain and we both knew it. It was cruel enough for me to still be standing there, to look him in the eye before I stepped backwards into the abyss. It was cruel but I couldn’t help myself. If I was going to die, as sure of that decision as I was, I’d like to see him just one last time. If he hated me for it, hated for his best friend to look him in the eye before voluntarily leaving his life, then that was only good. It would help him get over it quicker, help him move on. I’d be dead anyway; I’d be none the wiser.

“Don’t.”

I exhaled.

“If you jump, I will hate you for the rest of my life, don’t you fucking dare.”

I cracked a little smile. “Only one of us is walking out of here Levi.”

“That doesn’t mean I should.”

“Yeah, it does,” I said softly. “This is the least I can do.”

We were in a checkmate. If he tried to run off the ledge himself then I’d meet the ground before he got there. If he tried to get to me to pull me away, it would only be the same. His only option, and his weakest skill, was talking. And he wasn’t going to be able to convince me that he should die instead. No point of cold logic or an abundance of emotion could change that. I’m the one that’s supposed to die.

But still. I hadn’t stepped off the roof just yet and I wasn’t sure why. No, I did, but it didn’t matter, not in the grand scheme of the inevitable.

I wanted to say that three-word phrase with that stupid four-letter word. But that would be even crueller than staring him in the eyes like I was staring down the barrel of a gun.

Even I wasn’t that evil.

“I love you.”

But he was.

My lip quivered and I dropped my sight to the sandstone. How could he? His eyes softened, hitting the critical hit in such few words. If he didn’t know me as well as he did, none of this would have happened, but he did, didn’t he? So of course, despite his lack of tact and dislike of talking, he knew exactly what to say to get me to crumble.

What an asshole.

“Don’t say that.”

He took a step forward. “What? The truth? That I love you?”

I shook my head frantically, covering my ears with my hands like a child. “Fuck off.”

“You know I’ve never been good at that, brat. I love you.”

He took another step.

“Stop it.”

“I love you.” Another.

“Shut up!”

I screwed my eyes shut. Why wasn’t I jumping? I should be jumping. But I couldn’t, I couldn’t fucking do it. Why? Why? Why? Why?

“I hate you,” I mumbled.

“No you don’t.”

I cracked my eyes open. He was standing right below me, looking up to me with that look he always had.

Asshole.

“I could jump off right now and you wouldn’t be able to do anything about it.”

“But you won’t, will you?”

I gulped. The silence spoke louder than words. He stepped onto the ledge.

“Be careful!” I immediately held onto him with both hands, not letting him out of my grasp. He wasn’t allowed to fall. I was suddenly aware of how far above the ground we truly were. No one could survive this height, that was the plan, but he wasn’t within it.

“I’m not going home if you’re not going to be there.” He held onto my hands tightly, his thumbs brushing over the back of them. “There’s nothing left for me back home anyway.”

My eyebrows sewed together. “What are you talking about?”

“Who do we have at home?”

“What about Hanji-”

“We’ve known her for less than two weeks.”

I was stunned. He was right.

The people that were under Levi’s name in the list of people I cared about were either dead or we had known for only a blip. Hanji, Erwin, even Nick, we hadn’t properly met before two weeks ago. Was the other worth trading for that? Maybe we knew Hannes for a bit, but I couldn’t even kid myself. He was on the list just because he was someone I had talked to, which was far and in between as it was.

My stomach dropped. We really hadn’t had anyone properly in our lives since Farlan and Isabel.

But what sort of an excuse was that? Just because at that exact moment the list of people we cared about was terrifyingly short, it didn’t mean that it couldn’t grow longer for the person who left. The person, Levi, could still have a life.

But then, I thought about if it was me. If I returned, would I be happy? If I had watched his body fall from the tower? Would I be able to move on? Could I deal with everything I had been through without him there? The answer was a resounding no.

And we had always been in sync. I had force myself to accept it would be the same for him.

If I returned without his hand in mine, in all honesty, I probably wouldn’t last very long. It was impossible to know concretely, but the number of things we had experienced, the boat load of trauma dumped on us, would fall like a ton of bricks once one of us got out. And the other wouldn’t be there to help. The amount of grief I would experience would be unmatched by anything in my entire life before or to come.

No one knows the other like we do. No one knows the exact pace of the other’s heart, the exact things that make us tick and the exact things that make us feel safe. No one knows that except for us. And without the other there, we would shatter.

“Then what do we do?”

He tilted his head, his hair falling over half his face as he peered at me.

“Together.”

That lone word shook me to my very core. He had to be joking, surely. There had to be some sort of trick. But when I looked him in those steel-blue eyes, I couldn’t help but believe it.

He’d always been impulsive, always a wrong split-second decision away from death. But he had always made the right one. But now? This wasn’t something purely impulsive, it wasn’t unlikely he had just come up with it, but it was a decision he somehow came to, one I never would have thought would leave his lips.

Together.

Just like we had done everything the in the past years. Where one was, the over was always close by, even here. Maybe that’s why he came in the first place past the reasoning of needing to protect me. It just hadn’t made sense for us to be separated. Where one goes, the other always follows.

Even into the arms of death.

So, we’d face it like we’d faced everything else. Dying was just another challenge for us. Just another room to walk into. It was undoubtedly stupid, but we’d never been ones to be logical when it came to the other. I wouldn’t have an injured leg, he wouldn’t have volunteered, we wouldn’t have kissed each other. I never would have sat on that bench if I had listened to that logic within me, and he wouldn’t have let me stay.

We were both so stupid, but what else was there to expect?

“I love you too, you fucking idiot.”

He chuckled; his lips curled up.

He leant forward and captured my lips with his. He enveloped my waist with his arms while I cupped his hard jaw.

We really were those cliche star-crossed lovers huh?

When he pulled back, he wiped my cheeks with his thumb, taking away tears I hadn’t even realise had spilt. In his lower lashes were some droplets too, ones he didn’t bother to blink away.

Fucking idiots, that’s what we were.

I leant my forehead on his, closing my eyes so all I could feel was him and the breeze. It was just us in this fucked up world.

I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you.

We both chanted it like our life depended on it, tearing those words from our system, hoping it would make up for the years in the past and future we never got to say it. Saying it on loop like if we said it one more time the universe would go easy on us for once. But the universe had never been kind, why would it start now?

In front of me was the boy I had spent the best years of my life with, we had grieved, rebelled, laughed and held each other. He was the boy that held my hand when I was scared to fall, the boy that wasn’t afraid of anything, the boy whose kindness hid under his skin to give to those who deserved it. He invaded every inch of my life and soul and I kept him there as long as I could. Levi was the boy I loved. Levi was my best friend.

Was this really the right thing to do?

“Ready?” he asked, holding my face in the palm of his hand, like I was the most precious thing in the world.

I nodded. “Thank you for letting me spend my life with you.”

“Wouldn’t have it any other way.”

I reached out a hand and caressed the petal behind his ear. Finding those flowers felt like a lifetime ago. Those were different people on that hill. He blinked slowly, letting me drink in his presence one last time.

It would never be enough, even if we lived until we were one hundred, it would never be enough. But it was time, nevertheless.

It was time to say goodbye.

I wasn’t sure who was right anymore, me or Hanji. She was probably ripping her hair out while watching the screen, not wanting to believe her eyes. We were just another pair of tributes, she’d live. Maybe she regretted it now, knowing those three words had caused all this.

It was time to go.

I took a deep breath, not looking anywhere but his eyes.

“See you soon,” I said, giving the biggest smile I could muster.

“See you on the other side.”

I kissed him on the forehead.

“Three,” he whispered.

“Two.”

I was about to lean into the void when the speakers crackled into life and the panicked voice of Floch filled the arena.

“And- and here we have the winners of the 67th Hunger Games!”

We froze. The whites of our eyes expanding forever.

Huh?

We looked to the sky, looking for a mutt, a projection in the sky, something, anything that refuted those words. Nothing came.

A laugh escaped me, and then another, and soon I was sobbing on the ledge of the building that was supposed to be my grave.

Levi quickly pulled us back onto the roof, getting to the centre of the tower like being ten metres from the edge was risky enough. His arms constricted my body, arms like chains around me as he buried his face into my shoulder.

I let laughs rip from me as fat tears streamed down my face.

We got to live. We got to fucking live.

I held onto his back for dear life, my fingernails digging into his skin probably causing welts of blood to erupt but neither of us cared. The fact that he could bleed was a miracle enough.

He pulled back, holding me at arm’s length, looking utterly fucking bewildered, and kissed me as hard as he could, smashing our souls together.

We got to fucking live.

He held me by the waist and spun, letting my feet fly into the air. We spun and spun while we cackled, our unrestrained joy taking up the space around us.

We got to fucking live.

The trip back to the Capitol was a whirlwind. We got picked up by a hovercraft, pulled up by masked peacekeepers, and we were immediately deferred to a medical team on board. We sat side by side, hand in hand, as we were looked over and treated, his shoulder and my leg being looked at.

I had forgotten all pain until then, and it finally crashed down as soon as my leg got the medical attention it so desperately needed. I bit into his good shoulder as they put syringes and random shit into my leg, prepping me for surgery when we got back. His shoulder was thankfully fine, only a better diet needed to make a full recovery, something he could now get.

It still hadn’t really kicked in yet. The whole thing felt like a dream. None of it made sense. None of it could be real.

We landed on the top of a skyscraper, now on the roof of the Capitol building we had left a week ago. I was wheeled with haste to the elevator, Levi right on my heels. No one dared to tell him to stay away.

I was pushed through the corridors on the medical centre’s floor and pushed right into a crowd of surgeons and nurses already prepped. They then attempted to get Levi to stay outside the door, but he refused, the Capitol had taken me from him once, he wasn’t going to let them do it a second time no matter how irrational it seemed. They settled for him to sit at the back of the room with a mask on.

I was soon swallowed by darkness as the anaesthesia coursed through my lungs. The last thing I saw was unmoving eyes glued to my face.

I don’t know how long it was until I woke up, light eventually streamed through my eyelids and I winced at its harshness. White light had never been particularly welcoming. When I opened my eyes, it wasn’t just one person I saw waiting for me, but four.

Levi hadn’t even changed yet. Blood was still caked in his hair from my failed attempt of cleaning it out. His stained clothing from the arena still stuck to his form, he hadn’t moved from the room since we came into it. My limp hand was already in his grasp as he sat by my bed, but standing next to him was Hanji, Erwin, and Nick. All three, even the latter, looking overjoyed.

After exploding with thankfulness and happiness and tears, they ripped into us for being idiots despite how tried we clearly were. Levi tried to get them to shut up, but I just laughed. My giggles filled the room, bouncing off sterilised walls and into any passer-by’s ears. The sound of euphoria.

As they smiled at us though, Hanji gnawed her lip, trying to not let whatever was building up in her mind come forward. I was too tired to ask, she’d tell us when she thought it was time, whatever it was. All I wanted to do now was sleep, though not before ordering Levi to go off and have a shower first.

The next day went in and out of consciousness, doctors occasionally came in to check on my progress. I didn’t really care to be honest. They could cut off my leg if they wanted to and I wouldn’t stop them.

I pulled Levi onto the bed around noon, and we laid together, getting the sleep we had desperately missed. The sleep not plagued by fear. We could have been in that ward for hours or days I wouldn’t be able to say. The only thing that gave us a semblance of routine would be when the lights turned off, but I’m not even sure how many times.

Neither of us really talked aside from when doctors or the other three came to visit. We just wanted to hold each other. We hadn’t been hit by nightmares yet, but they were sure to come.

One time when Hanji came in, she asked a question.

“You two definitely don’t have any people you care about at home right?”

We narrowed our eyes and shook our heads.

“No family members? No friends or just general people you were close to?”

We shook our heads again.

“Maybe Hannes?” I said, “But he’s a peacekeeper if that’s relevant?”

She exhaled, her body visibly relaxing. “No, it should be fine then.”

“Hanji?” Levi asked, sitting up.

She swallowed looking between the two of us, unsure whether or not to unload the streams of thoughts running through her mind. She made a decision.

“Not anyone could have pulled off what you guys did without consequences. If you two had people at home…” she paused, looking away, “If you two had people at home, you certainly wouldn’t have got off scot-free.”

I hadn’t even thought about it. Zeke’s face forced itself into my brain, staring down at me like he had during the parade. He was a callous and cruel man, there was no way he didn’t want us dead. To the president, our survival was a blatant fuck you to everything he had built despite the fact it wasn’t our intention. My blood went cold. If we had people back home, they would be dead, no doubt about it.

“You two are the Capitol sweethearts so you’ll be okay. For now.”

“For now?” Levi pressed.

She was at the door, hand on the frame. She looked back over her shoulder. She looked so tired. It was hard to imagine she only barely scraped a few years on us.

“Just…just be careful.”

And with that, she left.

After a few days I was given the all-good and was discharged from the tiny hospital. We went up to the penthouse that we had spent a week in, but it all felt so unfamiliar. I kept squinting my eyes, anticipating sand that never came. I looked to where it seemed the most comfortable on the ground instead of the various pieces of furniture around. It was weird.

It was uneventful for about a day before we were told about the victor ceremony. We’d get our “prize” symbolically through a crown I didn’t care for from the man I did not want to see. I was a ball of anxiety as the date crept closer. Levi seemed unbothered to most, but he was clearly on edge ever since that conversation with Hanji. We had to be perfect, we had to be the most complacent and submissive victors in history otherwise we were screwed. We couldn’t have Zeke hate us more than he probably already did. Not to mention it was Levi’s idea to die together that lead to Floch’s dumb decision to let us both live, and Levi had never been the most agreeable person on earth.

He didn’t want to mess it up for us after everything.

I had asked about Floch, half curious to see if he had been secretly executed, but Zeke had decided to be merciful. Hanji said the gamemaker had looked harrowed and gaunt. He had been expecting to die too.

The morning of the ceremony was almost as stressful as the game countdown. Each event was counting down to our possible doom if we didn’t act perfectly. Erwin had us in black garments, flowy and light to keep in tune with our district yet to make us look softer and more event appropriate.

Levi’s muscles were stone, he hardly ate anything. I had to force feed him to eat something, but even then he was hesitant.

We went down the elevator, our three-person back up in front of us, ready to take on the world on our behalf. We had done enough. We had been through enough. Hopefully Zeke could indulge that sentiment.

Directors waited for us in front of the giant arch. In another life we had gone through on a chariot with clothes that lit on fire. That was someone else.

A single pitch-black chariot with pitch-black horses to match was on standby for us. The horses shuffled around, faces being stroked by keepers and hand fed grain. I bit my tongue before I accidentally asked where the other eleven were. It was just us now.

I should have been thankful it was twenty-two dead not twenty-three, but it was hard to swallow. It should be zero, but the universe isn’t that kind, especially not to people whose names go on paper slips.

That wasn’t how things worked here.

We made our way over to the chariot hand in hand, the other three speaking to everyone on our behalf. Nick had been surprisingly leading the charge, getting the exact timings and instructions in order to relay them to us himself. Something had changed, just slightly, while we were in that arena. I wondered if he noticed it himself.

We were thankful though, not wanting to speak to anyone involved in the process of our attempted execution. We could only trust those three. It didn’t matter if our names had been the only thing exchanged on every Capitol show between every news anchor and host, it didn’t matter that they were screaming our names and throwing yellow flowers outside the giant arch. They had wanted us dead. They did not get our affection.

The horses were alright though, I patted the back of one on top of the mobile platform. Their hair was brushed and shampooed to perfection as if anyone would properly see it or touch it except for us.

Horses got better treatment than us. I couldn’t even smile at my own joke.

The doors to the arch began to swing open and we stood up straight, looking ahead, as the screams tore through the air. They were so fucking loud. I had heard too many screams, my own and others over the past few days, I didn’t need to hear more.

Just shut up.

I wanted to run into the audience and throttle them, get them to understand we weren’t untouchable characters. We were fucking people. We were kids and they had sent us to die. Why couldn’t they fucking get it?

“Do you think they know?”

“Know what?”

“That what they’re doing is wrong? I mean obviously people like Zeke do but… what about just the normal people? Do they know?”

“They should, but no.”

Fucking idiots. Blind and unthinking idiots.

The chariot lurched forward, and his hand laced with mine. Show time. When we passed out of the arch, I stretched my grin until my cheeks began to ache.

Please don’t kill us.

I waved to everyone around us as they threw objects I didn’t even bother to process as long as they didn’t come near my face. Levi peered over the crowd, trapping his scowl from protruding. His fingers tightened around mine.

Please don’t kill us.

We got to the end of road. We looked up to the giant platform that the president and his associates stood upon, staring down at us. Zeke caught my eye and I smiled even wider, my eyes crinkling.

Please don’t kill us.

We exited the chariot, grip bone crushing, as we walked up the stairs. It took all I had to not trip, to not let my mind wander as a coping mechanism. Levi kept me steady, though perhaps I was just a focal point for him.

When we got to the top, we went right to the edge of the platform like we had been told, right in front of Zeke. I wanted to throw up. The height was dizzyingly high with no barrier. It was lower than the towers in the arena, but it was even scarier. If he wanted to, Zeke could push us right off. He looked tempted, but he didn’t.

We both bowed, falling onto one knee, hesitantly letting go of the other. I stared at Zeke’s polished shoes, watching them shift across the ground. I flinched as a circle of coldness met my scalp. The crown was lighter than I expected, but the edges dug into back of my ears. I wondered if Zeke pushed down on it if could it cut my ears clean off. But he didn’t. He moved over to Levi and placed an identical silver crown on top of his head.

The crowd roared as we stood up and faced them, hands instinctually interlocking again. It was so goddamn loud. I just wanted to curl up into a ball and press my hands to my ears and scream at all of them to be quiet. But I didn’t.

Zeke raised a hand, ironically being my hero, and silencing the crowd. He held the mic to his face, his smiling face projecting across screens.

“Today, we celebrate an unforgettable and unprecedented moment in history,” he spoke, “There is not one, but two victors for the 67th Hunger Games. I’m sure no other pair deserves it more than these two right next to me.”

The crowd applauded. I wanted to punch him.

“I, and I assume many of you, learnt much watching the game this year. We learnt the importance and unrivalled power of a strong and trusting bond, a bond forged in iron over years. We learnt the power of love.”

The crowd screamed. Levi looked like he was two second from choking him out.

Zeke looked to us, a smile on his lips but pure distaste and amusement in his eyes. “You two found love in the unlikeliest of place, I hope you learn to use it well.”

His eyes studied us. I didn’t let my eyes waver. We were safe, but we were on thin fucking ice. Had he thought our relationship was an act, if he had even doubted it for a second, if he thought it was one big con as a screw over to the system, we would not be standing there.

“My beloved citizens, can we get another round of applause for the victors of the 67th Hunger Games!”

When we were back inside, I gulped litres of air, desperately trying to get oxygen back into my lungs. Levi held me gently to his chest, hand rubbing my back. Who knew breathing was so hard, huh?

Hanji ran over, bottle of water in hand which we both chugged eagerly.

We didn’t leave each other’s sight. Never. We slept in the same bed, we ate together, we bathed together, we didn’t leave each other’s sight. For all we knew, a hitman or some undercover titan would slit our throats when we least expected it. We couldn’t die. Not yet, not anymore.

I was more certain that death was right around the corner than at any point in the arena. There’s not a designated winner in the game of life, not when Zeke was the gamemaker.

Hanji and Erwin had pulled every string they had to avoid us getting interviews except for Willy’s show, it was the only thing they hadn’t wrestled out of, though it was a given that we needed to go onto it.

I smoothed down Levi’s shirt backstage, fussing over him so I had something to do with my hands. He stood silently, letting me do what I needed to do.

We didn’t want to talk to anyone about what happened in that arena. We hadn’t even spoken to each other about it. I didn’t need to recall the people I killed; they were all I could think about anyway. Hanji had contacted Willy a few days before the show, begging him to not focus on the murders or any of the other tributes. Surprisingly, he had agreed with no complaints.

Maybe not all of the Capitol was bad. Maybe some understood.

He had already sent over a rough run down of the questions he’d ask, but also told us that there would be an audience question time, something that was out of the production team’s control, so we’d have to be ready.

Most of the interview went smoothly as we had practiced in the penthouse. Answers bled from our mouths that we had preprepared and then practiced to make them sound spontaneous and casual. But as it dragged on, questions about what we liked in the other, fond memories, fears of confessing, were just bricks piling on top of each other, ready to collapse when it was the audience’s turn. Levi’s knuckles had gone white in his empty fist.

I took a sharp breath when a microphone was going in between the seats of Capitol watchers. Most copied in style of Willy’s, just being light-hearted, but the last did not follow the trend.

“Were you two really going to jump off the roof together?”

Everyone went silent as the audience member’s eyes peered at us. I swallowed, digesting what I needed to say.

“Well, not really, at least I hope not,” I said. Levi, Willy and everyone looked to me in confusion. “I had planned to push him back onto the roof as I fell, not sure if it would have worked, probably not, but it was the plan.”

The audience gasped melodramatically.

Willy cocked his head to the man next to me. “Levi?”

His hand was shaking, his eyes wouldn’t move from mine. “I was going to do the same thing.”

The audience laughed, Willy laughed, Zeke probably laughed.

We stared at each other wide-eyed, in utter shock as the hall erupted into cackles and giggles, incredibly overwhelming yet it was deafening silent in the centimetres between one another. We really were idiots, weren’t we?

The interview was the last stop on the Capitol showing. It was time to go home. Home.

Erwin and Nick came to say goodbye to us at the station. It had been blocked off from people wanting to get a glimpse of us, our “biggest fans” apparently, so we were left in relative peace as we bid farewell. Erwin brought both of us into soft hugs, his large arms cradling me. Nick shook our hands, stammering out how proud he was of us despite how annoying and disregarding of rules we were. His eyes had been red rimmed, so were Erwin’s now that I thought about it.

Hanji, Levi and I, hopped onto the train, and let the doors to the Capitol slide shut behind us with a hiss. Hoping it would be a long, long time, until we had to see it again.

Hanji left us to our own devices, letting us lounge and eat and sleep and do whatever we wanted, and we did exactly that. We had a lifetime of peace to make up for the weeks of hell. It would never be enough to make up for it.

I leant on Levi’s shoulder as I watched the trees fly by out the window, turning to an abstract green blur. “You do actually love me right?”

“Are you fucking kidding me?”

“Just wanted to make sure! Who knows, maybe you became an award-winning actor overnight.”

He flicked me on the forehead and I just laughed. I nestled my head further into the crook of his neck.

“Let’s promise to never do something like this again yeah?” I said, “You’ve given me enough heart attacks for a lifetime.”

“As long as you promise not to do anything stupid.”

“Well, we both know neither of us have been good at that.”

He huffed and crossed his arms but leant his head on mine.

The green outside looked so pretty; trees, flowers, birds, I had missed it. But what we were returning back to would not be the life we had before, for better and for worse. But it would be okay, because we were together, the other in hand like we always had.

It would be okay. It had to be.

Please.

[END OF BOOK ONE]

a/n: well damn we’re now at the end of the first book! i’ll be continuing the series right to end as far as i know so it’s not stopping here! thank you for the support so far i hope you all continue to enjoy it!

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ellana-lavellan-rp · 3 years ago

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IRREVERSIBLE ; .

(( for @dreadwxlf. ty for being so patient with me!

ellana's outfit is here.

the waltz music i'm imagining is here and also here.

here's to solavellan happiness at last!!!

also tw: mention of attempted suicide via drowning ))

-x-

irreversible [ ir-i-vur-suh-buhl ]: adjective not reversible; incapable of being changed.

-x-

Things began to get better for Ellana after the time Fen'harel had snuck into her dream - over time (decades, it would turn out to be), and with distance, her heart started to mend anew. It was precipitated by one of the greatest mistakes she had made to date (and she can still feel the water in her lungs if she thinks about it too much), but her remaining friends and family had seen her through it. It was difficult at first, to put down the trinkets that had so defined the legacy of her friends, but she had had to do it for her own sake.

She couldn't keep holding onto a world long dead, it would destroy her too; and in fact, it almost had.

-x-

(the water is cold, and she is so, so tired - she cannot bear being here even a moment longer -

wading, and then diving -

and she wills with every inch of her deadened heart:

drag me down -

and the water obeys)

-x-

Dorian's message crystal had been the last item she had put away, deep into one of her drawers, and she had wept the entire time (almost unable to put it away at all). But with that weeping came a certain kind of healing, a realization; she would never forget them, but they were gone. They wouldn't have wanted her to waste away like she had been doing - a slower, more painful death than even drowning.

They would have wanted better for her.

And so she regrew her arm, regrew her hair, removed her piercing (which she had hated even though it was in remembrance of thom), and started to eat again. It wasn't overnight, and she still had bad days along the way, but she slowly began to regain the strength that she had lost.

Ellana took up more of the clan leadership duties, helping Deshanna and even Fenris, who had taken it upon himself to assist in her absence. Which she was silently grateful for, even as she buried it with her other guilt - she shouldn't have been so weak, she should've been stronger - but what was done was done.

What's done is done... but we have eternity now..

there will always be a place for you... His words never stopped haunting her either - nor the memory of his wounded face after the destruction of the dream. He hadn't come back since... he had probably already moved on from her.

The thought shouldn't have hurt as much as it did.

In her darkest hours, when she was laying in bed alone, Ellana could admit now that she still loved Solas; she probably always would. But how could she ever trust him again, even if they did somehow reunite?

It was probably better this way, even though it didn't make it hurt any less.

She was adamant about not stepping a toe into Arlathan, however, and she kept that promise for years, until one day her parents had needed her to go in their place for one of the clan's trading days.

-x-

"Just this once, da'lath'in."

Her mother had said, and Ellana was helpless to deny her anything.

-x-

Somehow that one incident had turned into regular visits (only to the marketplace, she never wandered beyond it, and it seemed that Solas never visited, at least on the days her clan was there), and Ellana slowly began to get comfortable there as well.

It was indescribable - the beauty of the crystal through the clouds, the finery of the clothes the people wore - the feel of magic everywhere and spirits aplenty; and a sad, sad part of her could see why Solas had wanted it back so badly. None of it had been worth their friends lives though, but even the pain behind that thought lessened as time wore on.

Before she knew it, decades had passed, and the annual celebration of the rebirth of Arlathan was upon them. She had stayed far away by that point, but a curious part of her wondered what the celebration was like. Was it like Orlais; where the game had been rampant? Or was it like the Dalish, whose parties had been the talk amongst humans for ages for their rambunctiousness?

Did they honor the fallen? Or was it held as a glorious victory, regardless of its victims?

She tried not to think about it too much, but as the evening fell upon them once more, her mother had pulled her aside.

-x-

"Why don't you go tonight, da'lath'in? You've had this longing look on your face all day."

"You know why, mamae.. I can't... I can't face him."

Her mother's warm brown eyes soften, and she pulls Ellana close. "Yes you can, and I know you want to. You can lie to the others, da'len, but you cannot lie to me. Enough time has passed, why not show him what he's missing?"

Ellana sighs, hugging the older woman tightly, "He's probably already with someone else. You know how the women talk of him."

She chuckles, eyes sparkling with mirth, "I have it on good authority that he isn't."

Blue eyes narrow and she looks up at her mother in shock, "Who..."

"Never you mind. Go get changed, I've left your outfit in your hut. A friend of mine told me that it was quite the outfit back in the ancient days. Perfect for Fen'harel, wouldn't you say?"

"Mamae!!!"

Her mother laughs, "I just want you happy, my darling. And you're not happy here, not fully, at least."

-x-

It was true, but that didn't mean that Ellana was fully ready to admit it.

She had gotten changed after all; the strange white material flowing like silk around her, the golden cuffs an odd weight around her wrists and neck. The golden circlet at the bottom of her hair (which was pulled back), wrapping around her ears, was probably the oddest piece - it felt like something nobility would wear, but she was hardly that.

Not for the first time, she wondered who her mother's friend was, and why they would even deem it necessary to help her with Solas.

It made her off-kilter... a feeling only amplified when she found herself back in Arlathan once more - more people than she had ever seen before, reveling in a grand ball, of all things. A palace, with rooms of gold and white, and crystal everywhere - a sight that truly took her breath away.

It was beautiful, and nothing like she had ever seen before.

At least no one was paying her much attention, their focus on the main ballroom and the dancers within it, she mused as she grabbed a glass of wine from one of the floating trays, testing its sweetness.

Divine, and Ellana just about rolled her eyes - everything here was perfect, almost too much so - but her thoughts grinded to a halt when she caught sight of just who the dancers on the floor were.

It was... him. And another woman, which made her fingers tighten on the stem of the glass, even as her mind raced -

Mamae was wrong, I knew -

But just as her thought had formed, Solas had quickly moved onto another partner, disengaging the previous with what looked like politeness (her heart pounded with relief). It continued that way throughout the night, partner after partner, her blue eyes never leaving him (blending in with the crowd), even as he managed to somehow slip away.

He was beautiful, her vhenan.

Adorned in a black outfit, more than complimenting her own stark white - the same type of golden cuffs around his wrists and neck.

Like they belonged together. Like they were meant to be.

The thought took her breath away.

I never... stopped loving him. Not really.

Her feet moved of their own volition, dodging the crowd, her entire focus shifting to the man in front of her (who seemed to be willing those around not to notice his departure, but he could never escape her, not with a will as stubborn as his own).

She followed him to the courtyard, and watched as he exhaled a breath.

Ellana could barely think with the ringing in her ears, her heart viscerally pounding in her chest, he was here and he was so close -

She stepped closer, and closer, and finally, finally was able to speak, "Solas."

Her voice was light in the midst of all the celebration, and she suddenly didn't know what to say. "... I.. how.. have you been?"

#[.:. ic starters .:. ];#[.:. dreadwxlf; ball verse .:.];#YES ITS FINALLY HAPPENING #ellana real suave #hi how are you #its only been decades #its the wine blame the wine #i love themmmm so muchhhhhh ahhhh #the ball threadddddd #tw: suicide #tw: drowning #also ellana's moms friend is abelas #he a secret matchmaker

17 notes · View notes

supernatural-jackles · 5 years ago

Text

The Man on the Side of the Road - Part 7

Title: The Man on the Side of the Road - Part 7

Pairing: Dean x Reader

Word Count: 6,184

Warnings: Angst, Semi Graphic Mentions of Self Harm, Mentions of Previous Suicide Attempt, Anxiety, Depression, Desire to Relapse, Mentions of Pain Killers, Self Hate, Self Blame, Fluff, Dean being the best.

Summary: Driving down the road, going well over the speed limit. You come across a man walking in the opposite direction with a bouquet of flowers in his hands. His head cast down as he walked. Your gut instinct is telling you to check on this man, no matter what your parents told you growing up. Little did you know just how much this would change your life.

The Man on the Side of the Road - Masterlist

Square Filled: Falling in love ( @spndeanbingo)

A/N: The contents of this fic are not suitable for all audiences. This is your warning. That being said, I hope you enjoy this part! Feedback is greatly appreciated.

You lay in the middle of your bed, your books scattered everywhere and your laptop in front of you. You hated midterms. You hated that you didn’t have the week before off to study. You were stressed out to the max, and you were trying to bury yourself in your homework. You didn’t want to deal with everything else.

Ever since everyone found out that Jo was pregnant with your ex-fiance's baby, you had just shut down. You didn’t want to talk about it, or even think about it. Even more so when people asked you about it. Ketch had tried to talk to you a couple of times, about it specifically. It was now clear to you that he had been cheating and he knew it as well as you did. It was hard for you to see him after what you knew. Jo hadn’t even glanced in your direction. Ruby tried her best to keep the topic light for your sake. You knew deep down that she was still talking to her, even if she told you that she wasn’t friends with her anymore. Your trust had been betrayed more than once by so many people you considered to be close to you. It was really hard for you to wrap your mind around everything.

Your mom blamed you for making Ketch look elsewhere. If you would have catered to his needs you wouldn’t be in the situation you were in. Clearly he wanted a baby and you withheld it from him, so he found someone better than you. You did this to yourself. That was the conversation you had with your mom earlier on in the day. The conversation that brought you to tears. After all, he’d been with Jo for two years. You clearly hadn’t been good enough for him for a long time.

You were never going to be good enough for anyone.

Your eyes glossed over with tears as your mother’s words rang through your head over and over again. You read over the same sentence eight times before realizing you had. Studying was no use. Midterms felt irrelevant at this point. You had so much more going on that you just didn’t care about studying, or your grades. You didn’t care about anything else. You just wanted the world to swallow you whole.

“Hey you,” Dean’s voice cut you from your trance. “You got time for a study break? I’ll make you a snack.”

“Uh no thanks,” you shook your head. “Not hungry.”

“Okay,” he nodded. “Can I help you study for anything?”

“I think I’m going to pack it away for the night. I can’t retain anything,” you admitted. You prayed he couldn’t hear the defeat in your voice.

“Understandable,” he smiled. “You want to do something tonight? Watch a movie? Take a drive in Baby?”

“You finished?” your head perked up with a smile on your face for the first time all day.

“I finished and drove her home today,” he beamed widely. “You wanna go for a drive with me?”

“Of course,” you agreed.

“Good,” he smirked. “I could use some quality time with my best friend. You look like you could use a break too.”

“You got it,” you nodded. “Just give me a few to clean myself up.”

“Okay,” he smiled, shutting the door behind him. You packed up your books, and placed them on your bedside table. You shut your laptop and rolled off the bed. Your legs felt heavier than usual from sitting cross-legged for so long on your bed. You walked straight into your bathroom. Your hair was a mess, and your eyes looked tired. You were tired. Tired of studying. Tired of crying. Tired of it all. You needed a good week of sleep to begin to feel better.

You opened the bottom drawer, your eyes falling on the plastic case that was once meant for dental floss at one point. You knew exactly what was in that case, and the fact that you were staring at it right now was a big problem. It was a bigger problem than a lot of the ones you were already facing. You were at the point mentally that you felt like this was an option. That this was okay again when it was the farthest thing from okay.

You slammed the drawer shut. A single tear slipped down your cheek. You were better than this. You didn’t have to resort to this. You were stronger than that. You were going to get out of this bathroom, and head out to Dean. You were going to ride in his baby, and try to take your mind off of everything. He wanted to spend time with you. You were going to pull yourself together and be the person he knew you to be. He didn’t need the extra theatrics.

You didn’t bother changing out of your sweatpants. You’d much rather be comfortable in the car and be able to jump right back into studying. You grabbed your bigger sweater, pulling it over your shoulders. You could hear Dean twirling the keys in his hands as you stepped out of your room. Going out with him was probably going to be the best part of your day.

He was waiting by the front door, keys in his hand. He had put on a blue, red and white flannel, making him look all the more comfortable. God, did he look good in flannel. He looked good in anything he wore the more you thought about. Dean was handsome, and there was no denying that. You thought that the second you laid eyes on him. Bloodshot eyes and all.

He motioned for you to head out the front door first. He locked up the house with his key while you headed to the beautiful ‘67 impala that sat on your driveway. You were in awe. She looked brand new. Dean had done an amazing job with her. You had no idea he was this good with cars. You were damn sure she was a write off when you saw her. You were sure your jaw was on the ground.

“Here, let me get the door for you, m’ lady,” he grinned, reaching for the passenger door handle. He opened it up for you, allowing you to slide in before shutting it for you. He circled around the car, hopping in the driver's seat. He put the key in the ignition and started her up. It had to be one of the most beautiful sounds you had ever heard. The car was a thing of beauty. Inside and out. You could see yourself going on roadtrips in this car.

“You did an amazing job, Dean!” you complimented him. “You are really freakin’ talented. This took you no time at all.”

“Thanks,” he smiled. “It feels good to have her fixed. My dad would have been proud, I think. This was his. He loved this car. I’m just happy that I have her back. Makes me miss him a little more.”

“I’m proud of you. This car deserves to be driven again,” you told him. “You can park her in the garage if you’d like. Keep her safe and untouched.”

“You sure?”

“Hell yeah! She’s worth so much more,” you assured him. “So where are we headed anyways. You never mentioned a destination.”

“Somewhere special. Somewhere we’ve never been together. I think you’re going to like it. I just need some time there. It’s a happy place.”

“Then I look forward to it,” you breathed out. “Everything okay today?”

“For the most part, yeah” he mentioned. “I feel a little off today, not going to lie to you. I just wanted to drive my baby, and show you her. Driving helps me clear my head.”

“I understand that. Something else to focus on. Just the open road,” you smiled sincerely. “I am really proud of you, Dean. Not just for fixing up the car. You look better and better everyday.”

“Thanks Y/N,” he nodded. “Means a lot to me coming from you.”

“You’re welcome.”

“So I needed to talk to you about something. You said I could talk to you about anything right?” He questioned.

“Of course,” you said, turning your head to look at him, giving him your full attention.

“There’s this girl,” he began, taking a deep breath. A small smile playing on his lips. “I see her pretty often. Out and about, you know? She’s nice to me, I think she flirts with me. She’s beautiful, and she’s smart. I’ve been thinking that I want to ask her out, but I’m not sure how to do it in a way that doesn’t come off as too strong.”

“Do you know her well?” You asked. Deep down, you were a little upset that he was asking a girl out. A part of you knew that if he did, and the girl said yes, Dean would be spending very little time with you. It was selfish as hell, but you knew how much you needed him. Even if he didn’t know you nearly as well and that was on you for that. You were the one who couldn’t quite break the wall down. You weren’t going to make him choose you over someone he could have an amazing relationship with. After all, he deserved to be happy. You had dealt with your issues on your own most of your life anyways. You could survive without him if it came down to it.

“I’d say I know her a fair bit, but not too extensively,” he shrugged. “You’re a girl, how would you like a guy to ask you out?”

“Honestly, it’s really just about how confident you come across rather than how. I’d like to know he’s paying attention to me if he does, and that he sounds like he really wants to go out with me. I’ve only ever been asked out once so I really won’t be helpful.”

“Nah, you’re plenty helpful. You’re my best friend. I just hope she says yes,” he chuckled. “I don’t think any of what you said is going to be a problem. Now if she says yes, is dinner and a movie okay?”

“For the first day, yeah! That’s a great first date,” you breathed out.

“What would be your ideal first date? I gotta know for the next guy who asks you out,” he winked.

“Dean, no guy is going to ask me out,” you scoffed playfully. “Dinner and a movie is good. Mini golfing is also another good one, especially if it's someone you kind of know. Honestly, I’m up for anything that he thinks I’d like. I’m not picky. It’s all about who you spend time with over what you do.”

“All fair points,” he let out a laugh. “Mini golfing is definitely a good first date idea.”

“I’m glad you think so,” you let out a chuckle. “When are you going to ask her out?”

“Not sure yet. I might just wait to see if she shows anymore interest in me before I take a leap. I just don’t want to do it and then have her say no.”

“She’d be stupid to say no to a guy like you. You’re a catch. You’re smart as hell. You’re cute. You’re the most amazing cook I’ve ever met,” you told him. “Not to mention, you’re clearly good with your hands.”

“I hope you’re right,” he smirked.

“I know I’m right,” you nodded. “It’s the one thing I’m certain about.”

Dean drove through the streets of Lawrence, heading towards the edge of town by the looks of it. You figured he just wanted to drive her for awhile. You really didn’t mind. You didn’t care where you were going, or when you’d be home. The open road was going to give you some time to relax, and not think about how messed up everything was. Just you and Dean on the road. That was exactly how you wanted things.

Dean was pretty quiet as he drove, and you wondered what exactly was on his mind. If he was solely focused on driving or if his mind was elsewhere. No matter how much you watched the road ahead of you, your mind resorted back to that little plastic container at home. The thought had barely left your mind. You knew you weren’t going to stop thinking about it. Not until you did something drastic about it. And after that, you’d hate yourself more than you already did.

“I feel like it’s time I ask are we there yet?” you giggled.

“Yes we are almost there,” he chuckled. “I spent a lot of time here when I was growing up.” You nodded your head, taking a deep breath. You could enjoy the sound of that. Learning a little more about him.

After about five more minutes of driving, Dean made a right turn off the main road. The street was quiet. Not too many people in sight for just after six. It was a nicer day out. All you needed was a sweater to keep you warm. The sun would be more than enough. It was surprising for fall, but you weren’t complaining. It was only a matter of time before things got cold.

Dean pulled into an empty parking lot. In front of the car was a small forest by the looks of it. Behind you was what looked like an elementary school. Did he go to this school growing up? You were probably going to find out at some point throughout the evening.

You got out of the car at the same time. You glanced over to Dean to see where exactly you were going. He motioned for you to follow him. You were headed towards the forest. Dean clearly knew where he was going and you were going to have to trust him. You could take it all in and hopefully that cleared your head. Something else to focus on, Y/N.

You and Dean kept a safe distance between the two of you. Your eyes were everywhere, taking it all in the best you could. It was beautiful to see it all. You had never really been around forests, and paths to walk in. Nothing was as beautiful as this. Growing up, it was always big houses, and parties. You didn’t get to explore like this. Not like you wanted to.

Eventually the path led to a narrow road with a rapidly decreasing hill. It was pretty steep when you started walking down it, but there was something in the adventure that you looked forward to. There was something that you found relief in. The openness of the wilderness was almost comforting. It was almost like no one could find you here. A safe space from people like your mother and Ketch specifically.

At the bottom of the hill was an old ruins building that caught your interest. There wasn’t a single person in sight. You headed straight over to the entrance, Dean following closely behind you. You couldn’t stop your eyes from wandering. You wanted to take it all in. Remember it when you got home and were left in the silence of your room.

Dean lead the two of you across the wooden bridge to get across the rocks beneath it. There was a ledge big enough for the two of you to sit on comfortably. Below the ledge was a small body of water, and some trees that grew tall, covering above you. It was enough to keep you distracted. It was absolutely beautiful. You could see why this place was special to him.

“We’ve been friends for a little while now,” he pointed out, breaking the comfortable silence. His eyes took in the trees above.

“Yeah,” you nodded. “Best friend.”

“You want to talk to me about what’s going on in that pretty head of yours?” he swallowed hard. His lips formed a line as you looked at him. He wasn’t joking this time around. You knew there was no pressure for you to talk to him. He’d never pressure you to. But you could see the concern in his eyes. It damn near broke you. You couldn’t. You knew if you did, there was no going back for either of you. You didn’t want to add that extra weight on his shoulders. “Okay.”

You adjusted yourself, resting your back against the wall of the ledge. You brought your legs up to your chest, breathing in the fresh air. His words were ringing in your head. He offered to let you talk to him. He was your best friend. If anyone would understand what you were going through, it would be Dean. He knew the little things you did because he lived with you. He knew something was wrong. He knew that you were struggling immensely. As much as you didn’t want to burden him with it, you knew you weren’t going to be able to hold it all in for much longer. You were trying your hardest to make it through each day. You couldn’t do it much longer. You already wanted to open up the plastic container in your drawer. It was only a matter of time before you did and caused more damage than you already had.

“I’m not okay,” you breathed out. “I’m the farthest thing from okay right now, Dean.”

“It’s okay, I’m here,” he nodded. “Talk to me.”

“I need you to promise me something,” you almost mouthed. A lump forming in your throat..

“Anything,” he smiled, his voice a little higher than usual.

“Promise me that you’re okay right now. Promise me that if I talk to you that it’s not going to ruin all the progress you’ve made. That you’re not going to see me any differently.”

“I promise you,” he stated, holding out his pinky for you to take. “I’m more than okay, Y/N. I promise you that I am. Is that the reason why you haven’t talked to me yet? You’re afraid of being too much for me? You’re afraid I’d see you differently?”

“Yeah,” you nodded. “You’re already going through so much. I don’t want to be too much for you. I’m the one that’s supposed to have it together.”

“You don’t have to all the time,” he smiled weakly at you. “Why do you think I brought you out here? I can see you aren’t doing okay. You never have to worry about it being too much for me. You talked me out of killing myself, Y/N. If you think that I wouldn’t be there to do the same for you every single time.”

“I don’t want to kill myself,” you assured him. “I know how much that would hurt you, and I can’t do that to you. But I have to tell you that it’s really hard for my head to not think that way. Everything that has happened with Ketch, and Jo. The way I feel about myself. The way I feel like I’m going to end up. I spent the last three years of my life with a man that would rather fuck my best friend than me. My mom thinks that it’s my fault he got Jo pregnant. I should have given him exactly what he wanted, and I didn’t. It’s my fault why it happened.”

“It’s not your fault, Y/N. You didn’t push him towards her,” he shook his head. “Cheating is a choice. Don’t believe for a second what your mom said to you. None of his actions are your fault. You are not responsible for what he does.”

“Two years, Dean. Two years he had been cheating on me for. What does that say about me and the person I am?”

“It says you’re loyal. Even if the guy is a piece of shit,” he stated. “You have a big heart, Y/N. That’s not something to be ashamed of. It’s one of the things I like about you.”

“Sometimes I feel like it is. All I have ever wanted was for someone to love me the way I love them. You know how pathetic that is? How pathetic I am for staying with him for as long as I did?” you sighed.

“You had your reasons, sweetheart. It’s not pathetic to want to be loved, especially when your mom never showed you what it felt like. Every relationship is great in the beginning. You can’t recognize signs of abuse as easily when you are in a relationship,” he mentioned. “It’s so fucking hard to see them when they aren’t physical.”

“I know you’re right, but there were so many clear signs, Dean. Physical signs! And I am still stuck around. I stuck with it, thinking that he was going to get better. That I’m a good person and I could make him a good person too. I stuck around after he hit me. After all the things he did that weren’t okay. I can’t help but think that I’m in this position because I chose to stay. Because I said yes to marrying him. I didn’t want to be alone. It didn’t matter how well he treated me at what time. There are so many things that I should have done differently. That I could have done instead. This should have happened two years ago and not two months ago.”

“Is that why you can’t move past this? You’ve been bottling it all up for that long?” he asked. “You’re not alone, you know? I’m here, and I’m not going anywhere. You got out and that’s the most important thing. It doesn’t matter if it wasn’t right away. You are a good person, Y/N. Regardless. Now, I’m pissed that he laid a hand on you. But sweetheart, he’s not going to hurt you anymore and I’ll make sure of that. I’m not going anywhere. I’m here now.”

“Yeah, now,” you breathed out, he reached his hand over to your calf.

“And from now on,” he added in. “I’m not checking out on you. I’m not leaving you. Believe it or not, I actually love living with you. You’re the best roommate I could ever ask for, and an even better friend. Ketch threw away a rare diamond for a stone he found in a swamp. He’s not good enough for someone like you. He never was and he’s never going to be. I don’t ever want you to doubt yourself because he couldn’t keep it in his pants. He’ll get bored of Jo and the baby, and he’ll try to come back. You are worth more than that. You are worth more than most people can give you.”

“Dean,” you cocked your head to the side, wiping away one of your tears.

“Y/N, you are beautiful, and smart. You have a gorgeous smile, and the biggest heart of anyone I know. In fact, you remind me a lot of my mom. What I can remember anyways. You deserve so much better, and one day you’re going to find it. You don’t deserve to be sad like this.”

“I don’t want to be sad like this,” you admitted. “I haven’t felt like this in a really long time. I just want it all to go away. I want to be able to look at Ketch and not have my heart drop into my stomach. I want to be able to laugh at Jo when she’s nine months pregnant with a guy who is going to do the same thing he did to me to her. He’s going to leave her when she needs him the most. By then, I want to be over this. I want to move on from this.”

“You will be, sweetheart,” his lip curled upward. “I didn’t think I’d ever get better after that day and I did.”

“You’re strong, Dean” you told him.

“So are you,” he half smiled. “You’re the strongest person I know.”

“I don’t feel that way right now,” you confessed. “Before you asked me to go out with you tonight, I went to the bathroom and opened up my drawer. In the bottom of it, I have this little plastic container that used to be for dental floss. I have a razor blade in it, and I so desperately wanted to cut myself, Dean. So bad.” That was the very first time you had said those words out loud to someone else. It was the hardest thing you ever had to say to someone you were close with. You didn’t want to scare him away by saying it. You didn’t want him to feel like he had to watch you. You just wanted to tell him before you got home and retired back to your room and something happened. If something happened.

“You- do you? I don’t remember seeing any the day we went swimming together,” he pointed out.

“I haven’t in two years,” you stated. “Remember how I said I’ve been there?”

“You -”

“It was the scariest moment of my life and I remember every detail until I passed out. I had gotten to a fight with my mom earlier on in the day about my sex life of all things. She made some comments that stuck and kept going on and on the whole day. When I got home, Ketch was on me about going out to the bar with his buddies. I said no, and he told me I was boring now that he and I were together. The sex had gone out the window. He said I could stay home and sulk, he was going out regardless. I just wanted to take the edge off. Cutting was how I did it. Made me feel better when everything was so chaotic. I was on the bathroom floor when I did it. It made me feel better for awhile. But I was in that headspace where I thought the world was against me. I got sloppy. Before I knew it, I had gone too far. For a split second, I thought about just leaving it. I got lightheaded quickly and called 911. I told everyone it was an accident. But no one believed me that it was. My mom wanted me in a mental institute, and didn’t want anyone finding out that Ketch’s girlfriend tried to kill herself. My dad - he was there for me when I needed him. He’s not around much if you couldn’t tell already. He works all over the place. But he stopped and took three weeks off to stay with me in the hospital while I got help. He was what got through to me. That was the last time I cut. Before that I felt like I deserved pain, other times I just had an itch. When Ketch saw them for the first time, he told me that crying for attention wasn’t attractive. He didn’t realize how bad it was until the day I almost died.”

“I know it’s not. Believe me, I know it’s not,” He nodded. There wasn’t a single hint of judgement in his voice. “And you want to do it now?”

“If I’m being honest, it’s been in my mind all damn day. But I know that if I do, then all of the progress I made will be erased, and I’ll have to start from scratch. I know it’s going to make it all worse, and not better. But I can’t think of anything else,” you shared. “Everything feels so fucked up that I don’t know which way is up. I didn’t want to bother you, and I don’t want to call my dad and worry him. I miss my dad, if I’m being honest here.”

“Here. Look at me,” he said softly. “I’m up. I’m your best friend, Y/N. There is no one in the world that looks out for you the way I do. I’m the one who protects you. I brought you out here, remember? I care and I’m not going anywhere. It’s okay to miss your dad, sweetheart. Don’t be afraid to call him if you need him.”

“What if I can’t get past this, Dean?”

“I promise you, you will,” he nodded. “I’m not going to let you go through this alone. Now, I need you to pinky promise me that you are not going to cut yourself. Can you do that?”

“I hope so,” you sniffled, holding your pinky up for him to link his with yours. “I don’t want to let you down.”

“You won’t. You never have,” he furrowed his brows.

“You’re the only person I haven’t.”

“You won’t ever,” he stated. “Ketch is a no one. You said it yourself, not everyone is like him. He’s going to regret it, and you can invite him to your wedding and have him watch you walk down the aisle in a dress that’s a million times prettier than the one you sold. He’s going to watch you and think about how that could have been him if he would have treated you better, and cared about you the way any human being should care.”

“I like that idea,” you nodded your head. Your lip curling up at the thought.

“Me too. I’m so fucking proud of you,” he reminded you. “I think you and I have a lot of learning to do about ourselves. I think we should take that road trip next week. Go see my brother. Spend some time away from this town. Just you, me and baby. Let go of all the toxicity here and come back refreshed.”

“Yeah, that sounds like a good idea,” you nodded.

“Feel a little better?”

“A little,” you whispered. “Thank you for listening.”

“You don’t need to thank me,” he shook his head. “I care. You can talk to me anytime.”

“I care about you too.” Dean shifted closer to you so that he was sitting directly in front of you. You could see it in his gorgeous fanfiction green eyes that he wasn’t judging you. He genuinely cared about you and how you were doing. He wanted you to get better so you’d get back to that ball of fire he met that day on the road. He opened up his arms for you to crawl into, and you graciously accepted this time.

It felt so damn good to be hugged by him. You weren’t sure whether it was his affection that he showed you, or the fact that he was just showing you affection in the first place that really struck a chord with you. His hugs were always warm and welcoming, and you embraced it every time you got one.

You also knew now more than ever that you were really starting to fall for Dean, and there was no stopping it now. It really should have scared you, with the whole thing with Ketch. But it wasn’t that problem. The problem was that he was too good for you, and he was into another girl. He couldn’t see a girl like you as someone he wanted to be with. You were the best friend. The wing woman. The one he came home to after a long day. You weren’t going to be his girlfriend or future wife. You weren’t going to be the perfect girlfriend for him. You didn’t know how, and quite frankly, you were too broken for his love. He deserved happiness. He deserved everything you couldn’t give him.

“You wanna head home? You’ve gotta be hungry by now,” he asked you.

“Yeah okay. Can you make some of that tomato soup for me? My stomach is still uneasy,” you said, giving him your best puppy dog eyes.

“On one condition.”

“Okay?”

“I want your blades gone. I don’t want you to open up your drawer and be reminded that they are there,” he stated. “And in return, I’ll throw out the painkillers in my bag that you didn’t know about and we’ll start fresh.”

“You -you still have-“

“Extra in case I wasn’t successful. I haven’t touched them, I promise. I actually forgot about them until I found them yesterday. I wouldn’t do that to you. I swear.”

“You’ve got yourself a deal.”

Dean helped you off the ledge, making sure you were safely on the ground before you started walking. You had to admit that you did feel a lot better after talking to him about everything that was going on in your head. You knew what was going to happen if you didn’t. Dean was the one who was keeping you grounded. He had proven to you time and time again that he truly cared about you. He was the only real friend you had ever had the more you thought about it. He was the kind of man you wished you had in your life all those years ago.

Dean threw his arm around your shoulder, pulling you into him as you walked up the big hill. You smiled softly, snaking your arm around his waist to hold him back. It was comfortable for you to be so close to him. That was where you wanted to be. Right next to him. He made you feel completely safe. He protected you. You wanted to be able to protect him.

He opened up the car door for you, allowing you to get in before he circled around to the drivers side. You were looking forward to going home and relaxing, You weren’t going to study anymore than you already had. You were going to see if you could convince Dean to watch a couple of episodes of Dr Sexy with you so you could start catching up. You just wanted a night with him.

“I’ll get started on that soup for you,” he smiled. “Can you go grab the tiny case for me?”

“Yeah,” you nodded.

“The pills are in my room. My duffle bag in the side pocket. They are in a plastic bag,” he told you.

You headed down the hall, stopping at Dean’s door first. You twisted the door handle, opening up the door. He had his bed made, and on the end of the bed was his pyjama pants. He had a t-shirt folded right on top of it. On the nightstand, he had a bottle of water and a picture of his family. The duffle bag was sitting in front of the closet. It was empty for the most part, which meant he had moved his stuff in completely. You took that as a sign that he felt like he was at home. He really did love living here with you.

You opened up the side pocket of his duffle, reaching in to find the bag of pills. There had to be at least fifty painkillers in the bag. It all came rushing back to you again. If you hadn't found Dean that day, he wouldn’t have been standing in your kitchen right now. You wouldn’t have met your best friend. You wouldn’t be standing if it weren’t for him and everything he had done for you. That’s what was making it so easy for you to hand Dean the blade. You didn’t want him to have that same fear you felt the night he moved in with you.

You were quick in heading out of his room, and going into yours. You only had the one left that you kept in your drawer. This time when you looked at the plastic case, you didn’t have the urge to open it and use it. You didn’t want to disappoint Dean. You wanted him to stay proud of you. To never doubt the trust he had in you.

You headed back to the kitchen, finding Dean standing at the stove, stirring away at the soup. You placed the plastic case on the counter, and the pills right next to it. He turned around with a sad smile as he looked at the two things together.

“Fresh start,” he nodded.

“Yeah,” you agreed. “Thank you for being an amazing friend to me, Dean.”

“Always will be, sweetheart. We gotta look out for each other.”

“Dean, I’ve never told people a lot of the stuff I’ve told you. You know, the stuff about my mom and dad, Ketch, and the way I feel. No one else really knows about it, except you. I trust you, Dean. I trust you more than I have trusted anyone. I’ve always needed someone like you in my life, and I never thought I would have someone. I really hope that you know just how big of a spot I have for you. You are my favourite person, Dean.”

“You’re my favourite person too,” he smiled softly. “And for the record, I’m really proud of you for talking to me today.”

“Made me feel better,” you admitted. “What are the chances of me convincing you to watch some older Dr Sexy with me tonight, and maybe sleeping over?”

“High, very high.”

~~~~~~~~~~~

Part 8 coming Sunday!

Did you like it? What was your favourite part? Share your thoughts with me via reblog, reply or send me an ask! Your response is what keeps me going!

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ruewrites · 4 years ago

Text

Thrones are Built on Lies Chapter 5: Meeting You for the First Time

AO3

Ship: Solomon/Asmo

Word Count: 3471

Warnings: Brief suicide mention

A/N: Second part to that cliff hanger! I hope you guys are still enjoying this fic! It’s a project I’ve been thinking of since near the end of WBT and I’m a bit nervous about it (^_^;)

Lilith, or rather not Lilith, stared up at him, confidence finally starting to waver. They tried to back up, and Solomon stepped closer.

His brow furrowed, staring down at the terrified little bunny he cornered. Solomon swore he could see their heart beating out of their chest.

Not Lilith?

"Who are you then?" Solomon asked, refusing to let them out of his sight.

Sunset eyes slowly rose from the ground to meet ocean grey ones once more.

"Asmodeus. Fifth born son of the late king."

Asmodeus.

No one had ever brought up this name to him before. He looked over him for a moment. He looked no different than the day that he'd met Lilith. Twins? Maybe. But he doubted they'd be that similar to the point of sounding the same.

"Asmodeus," Solomon repeated, "Why haven't I heard your name before?"

"Probably because I wasn't supposed to exist to you before," he frowned, "You were only supposed to know Lilith existed. That was what mattered."

"And when you were found out?"

Asmo didn't say another word. His soft hands gripped the sleeves of his dress tighter. "Then I suppose my fate would be in your hands, just as it is now," he said, "Except this way I told you instead of you finding out."

Solomon watched as Asmodeus turned and continued on with his spiel.

"I wanted to give you the chance to do whatever you wanted to quietly. You can always say you heard rumors about Lilith and changed your mind. They'd believe you."

He put himself in a place where he could control the situation and feel secure.

"You know it's really not fair too, I wasn't expecting you to be my type. You couldn't have just been ugly, no, you had to be attractive and funny and witty too!"

He was still pretty, and still smelled of those sweet perfumes.

"I just had to feel bad for lying to you. I couldn't just ignore it! Stuff like that usually doesn't get to me! But you just had to go and be sweet on me too!"

Lilith or Asmo, he was still Solomon's ticket to staying in Arcadia. The fact that Asmo already seemed to be into him just made his job a little easier.

"So here I am, potentially putting myself in danger away from my brothers to come clean to you and give you an easy-"

"Okay."

Asmodeus stared at him in confusion, his brow wrinkled ever so slightly as he cocked his head from one side to the other. Meanwhile Solomon stayed put in his position, back straight and arms behind him.

All this time he'd been nervous he'd done something wrong! But now he knew otherwise.

"Okay?" Asmodeus repeated.

Solomon shrugged, "Lilith, Asmodeus. You are the one I met all those months ago, yes?"

"But- But-" Asmodeus stuttered, his expression started to change.

"I see no problem. You are the one I've been arranged to marry. Husband, wife, both are the same to me."

"What."

"Although I suppose now I may have to redo my proposition. A king must give a proper proposal. After all, I was engaged to Lilith not Asmodeus."

"No!" The outburst took him back, "No no no! You were supposed to be mad! You were going to try to kill me! You- You-!"

"You wanted me to be mad and make an attempt on your life?"

"Well no but," he let out a choked squeal in frustration, "You can't tell me that I was worried for nothing! That I didn't have to do this!"

Solomon couldn't help the smile that stretched across his face. Something about the whole situation was just amusing to him. Normally someone wouldn't be upset at you for not being angry, and yet here he was. If anything, he could at least say his time in Arcadia had been eventful so far.

However, he knew he shouldn't leave his fiance like this. What type of man would he be to leave him upset?

"It wasn't for nothing. You didn't know me. You've only heard rumors about me, and many of those rumors also involve women," he said. He moved a little closer to Asmo and placed a hand on his cheek. It reminded him so much of the first day they'd met. Asmo was still the same person, and he would still keep him in Arcadia.

Asmo's eyes shifted to the hand on his cheek before meeting Solomon's gaze once more. There was still some tension, and he was still pouting, but Solomon hoped he was able to at least calm him a bit.

"You mean that?"

"Of course, and I wouldn't tell you I felt the same towards men and women if I wasn't, and you're still incredibly beautiful."

It was true, an observation anyone could make really.

"A lot of people say so, as they should," Asmo hummed, a smile pulling at the edges of his lips. So far so good. He seemed to be using the right words. Now he just needed to keep going.

"You're very correct," Solomon let his hand slide down and carefully placed it along his lower back, "Why don't we spend some time out here together just for a little bit?"

Asmo hesitated.

"We're already out here together," Solomon continued, "What's the harm?"

"Lucifer," Asmodeus mumbled, "I don't think he'll be as mad that you know, I think he'll be relieved really, but knowing I snuck out is what'll get him mad."

"Do you sneak out often Asmodeus?"

Asmo crossed his arms and huffed, "Yeah, but I never do anything bad, I just want to get out of that stuffy castle is all." His expression softened slightly, "Especially since not a lot really happens anymore."

"Do events usually happen?"

Asmo didn't respond.

Alright, dead end. Solomon tried to nudge him forward back in the direction of the castle, "Would you do me the honor of walking me back to my room?"

"Your room?" Asmodeus' voice lifted slightly. Solomon felt him lean into his side and a soft tug at the bottom of his shirt, "Isn't that a bit scandalous?"

Solomon sputtered. Scandalous? The man spoke as if they were having some sort of affair and not engaged. Not only that, but Solomon certainly hadn't meant to imply anything more than a chat, a nice walk back together. "No," he coughed, "No it wouldn't be scandalous at all. I just thought that we could talk for a while. I haven't seen you very much since I've been here."

"You'd be the first."

Solomon barely caught those words. Although he wasn't entirely sure what he was referencing.

But Asmodeus indulged him and started walking towards the castle and moving away from Solomon's hand.

They walked a few inches away from each other yet keeping stride. Solomon could hear their footsteps begin to sync up as the trees above them started to rustle.

"You've always been Lilith then? Is it safe to assume that Lilith never existed?" he asked once the tips or the towers came into view.

Asmo shook his head, and a grimace crossed his face. "No. That's not…" he had to collect himself, "That's not the case."

"She was real then?"

"She was my sister."

A pause.

Asmodeus pressed into the doors with a little more force than necessary, leading them back to the throne room.

"Our sister. She was real, but you never met her," he said softly, "She died three months before I met you."

And then he became her.

How long had he spent being molded to fit the part? So their father had cut out one of his own sons. It explained why there were eight windows instead of seven. Asmo stared at the white one, becoming lost in what little moonlight shown through. Solomon had to wonder if he even saw him anymore.

"Which one is you?" Solomon asked, glancing at the windows, "You you, not Lilith you."

Asmo or Lilith, he still had a nice laugh.

"You really care?" skepticism leaked into his voice.

"I do."

Asmo waited. Maybe he didn't believe him, maybe he was waiting for Solomon to tell him it was a joke. Or maybe it was something else entirely.

"The pink one on the side," he nodded upwards. Solomon took a moment to study it a little more. He saw the online of the figure first, then the roses, and then a few other shapes he couldn't quite make out.

"And you have a tunnel system like your brothers as well."

"Of course. It's a safety precaution. We travel back and forth through a system of underground tunnels so we don't end up murdered."

"You receive threats?"

"Of course. We're an empire. It's only normal people would want us dead to take the land for themselves," Asmo explained.

"It must have been a miserable life to hide away."

"It wasn't always like that. They'd just become more… frequent the past few years."

"So you're not able to live out your younger years," Solomon finished. It appeared that the only two siblings lacking tunnels would be Lilith and who he assumed was Lucifer.

Unless Lucifer had his own network linking from somewhere else.

But Lilith was right above the entryway.

Where would she have gone?

"Did your sister get caught? If you don't mind me asking.

Solomon noticed that Asmo's finger tips grab on to his dress once more. But he didn't fidget this time.

"You don't have to answer-"

"She jumped," his voice cracked, "I- We don't know why she just did."

This was different than when they were discussing the death of the king. Mentioning their father had been more of an awkward topic than a sad one. They all knew there should be some sort of sadness looming in the air, that that was how things were supposed to be. You were supposed to mourn when you lost blood, to vow to carry on their legacy and to honor their memory.

He watched Asmo wipe his eyes, "Your room then right? It's late and I dragged you out. I'll take you back."

"And you'll be okay walking back on your own?" he didn't like the feeling in his stomach that came with the thought of leaving Asmo upset. He told himself that he could be a decent husband. What type of spouse would he be if he did nothing but make his spouse miserable? Especially with a brother-in-law like Lucifer.

"I'll be peachy," his smile didn't reach his eyes, "Besides, you don't know how to navigate the tunnels yet. But I'll teach you so you can be a perfect gentleman."

The trip back to his room had been a quiet one.

Solomon had never realized how strange trying to connect with people was until he came here. Sure he could talk with fellow rulers over diplomatic affairs and make a good impression and he had both Simeon and Luke, but did he really understand people? He could be charming sure, but he'd also been rather isolated growing up.

"I will inform my brother about this," Asmo gestured towards himself and then to Solomon as they stood in front of his bedroom door, "I hope he'll be more relieved than upset."

"And why would he be upset?"

"Who knows."

The hinges creaked ever so slightly

"I appreciate you walking me back. I'll have to make sure I repay the favor sometime," once he learned how to navigate his way through the tunnels that is.

"Of course, but I can think of a way you could repay me now."

Solomon stopped in the doorway and peered over his shoulder. Would he receive another innuendo perhaps?

"Join us at breakfast tomorrow."

Such a simple request.

"Lucifer gets to have Diavolo there with him and it's not fair that I don't get to have you."

He was pouting now. Solomon couldn't help but snort at the way his cheeks puffed out and how his arms crossed. It was over such a simple little request too.

"You talk as if you own me," Solomon leaned against his door frame and lowered his eyelids.

"Do I not?"

"I don't believe so." If they wanted to play the who owned who game, Solomon didn't doubt that he'd win. If Asmodeus had been truthful while they were out in the woods, it would mean that he was quite infatuated with him.

There were always ways to test his theories of course.

"Besides," he stepped away from the doorframe, and tilted Asmo's chin upwards with his index finger, "Wouldn't that mean there's a possibility that I own you?"

The dilation of his eyes and pink rising towards his cheeks was all Solomon needed to see to know that he was back on track.

He just needed to keep him happy.

"Well, when you put it like that, I suppose so."

Was this flirting?

Was he flirting?

Solomon could pretend the look in his fiance's eyes didn't make him nervous.

Solomon would have never imagined that this little thing would be making him anxious. Asmo seemed a bit more confident now. Could it be that all of his anxieties had been linked to playing the part of Lilith?

"But no matter the case, you'll accompany me, yes?"

Solomon intended to keep their little game going. That is, until he looked into those eyes. He never knew a person could make him feel somewhat guilty with a look alone. Like a newborn kicked puppy.

It was inhuman and unfair.

Solomon couldn't bring himself to say no.

"If it would please you."

"Oh it would! It very much would!" Asmo didn't really seem to have a sense of personal space. His arms flung around Solomon's middle, knocking him back ever so slightly into the doorway. His grip was also surprisingly tight, and Solomon's lungs were screaming for air. "I'll see you bright and early then! Don't forget to come okay?"

The air that flooded his lungs was the only thing that made Solomon aware of the fact that Asmodeus had let go of him and left. He was a whirlwind.

But he had to regain his composure.

Before he started, he decided to touch the pendant now resting on his table. He didn't seem nearly as anxious as before. There was a small feeling of relief and a giddiness that he could only assume was due to their last little interaction. Solomon had solved the mystery behind those pesky anxieties. Well, maybe he hadn't necessarily solved it, but at least things made s little more sense. Just a little.

Now he cpuld switch his focus to other mysteries.

Finally he could open the book that Azazel had given him so he could dig a little deeper. When the book opened, a small handkerchief slipped to the floor.

Curious.

Could it belong to Azazel?

It was a plain white cloth with orange threaded lettering stitched onto the side.

'Henry'.

He hadn't met anyone named Henry. Had he also read through this book? Was he another magician in Arcadia? Maybe Azazel would know who he was. After all, it was in his book.

But he could focus on that later. Now he needed to take notes.

***

Furthermore multiple assassination attempts have been made against the family. Few have ever been successful. Recently they've seemed to stir up again (from what I can gather), and this may be the cause as to why so many of the streets seem empty.

The underground tunnels are designed to be disorienting on purpose. They are magical by nature and one must learn and adapt to them in order to navigate them. If not, it is very likely that one could become lost down there forever. The king who built said corridor was rumored to have thrown prisoners of war into the tunnels in order to test how effective they were when the idea was first conceived. It should be noted that the first ones were not made in Arcadia.

The Heart of Arcadia lies somewhere beneath the tunnels. Not only do the tunnels travel from sector to sector, but they also continue down. Even further beneath the castle lie safe rooms and valuables that the family wants to keep out of the hands of others. In the furthest cavern, deep in an underground system of caves, lies the Heart. The Heart of Arcadia is what gives Arcadia and her descendants magical abilities. Legends say it was the gift given to the first Kings and Queens by the gods. Without it Arcadia's prosperous lands may cease to exist, and the people will die with it.

***

"A word, Solomon," Solomon stopped in his tracks.

Why did the crown prince have to sound so unreadable? At least Solomon could hope he could return the same energy in kind.

"Perhaps, I did promise that I would meet a certain someone for breakfast this morning," Solomon said, "A certain someone who I also happen to be engaged to."

"That's what I wanted to speak to you about."

Solomon finally turned to face him. Just as he expected, there wasn't a trace of readable emotion on his person.

"Then speak away. He seemed concerned about telling me. You always could have called off the wedding," Solomon shrugged.

"And you could have started a war," the growl in Lucifer’s voice finally gave him away, "Look, I told you all that time ago that I did not condone my father's decisions. I care deeply about the safety of all of my brothers."

"What was your plan then? Just in case I had turned out to be as vile as Asmodeus clearly thought I'd be."

The silence between them spoke volumes.

Yes, Solomon wanted to get along with all of his brother-in-laws, but there was an air about Lucifer. It caused the two of them to but heads. They had similarities, Solomon wouldn't deny that. Perhaps that led to the tiniest bit of irritation in Solomon.

None of their interactions had been pleasant thus far, and it was starting to wear on Solomon's nerves.

"To keep you away from him until I could figure something out," Lucifer said, his shoulders almost sagging before he caught themself. For a man his age, he seemed worn. Bags under his eyes, pale skin, and Solomon swore he saw him going grey. Lucifer had a few years on him, but even then he seemed so much older. "I don't trust you, not in the slightest, yet I feel as if I have to. Keep him safe. I will not lose another one of my siblings. Asmodeus is precious, and he will be treated as such."

"I wouldn't dream of hurting him."

"I didn't just mean protection from you."

How to go about trusting a man you didn't trust? The short answer was that you couldn't, not really. Lucifer had no reason to trust him, he had every reason not to trust him. Yet Asmo and his future would be in Solomon's hands. He knew this. Some part of him felt bad for Lucifer, but only a small part.

"And make sure he doesn't sneak out anymore, it's for his own good."

Solomon wasn't in charge of him, but knowing what he now knew about the current climate he understood.

He had no idea if they'd still let him in Arcadia if something happened to Asmo.

It would be a shame if something happened to him, he was very pretty, and Solomon hadn't heard him sing yet.

Solomon didn't bother answering Lucifer as they walked to breakfast in silence. He had nothing to say. Surprisingly Solomon hadn't been left behind to rot in the tunnels by the prince.

No sooner had they come to the surface than Asmodeus was on him.

"You're late! I thought you weren't going to come!"

He was dressed differently today. Instead of the dresses he was used to seeing him wear, he was dressed more like his brothers. Long boots, pants, and a pink shirt that poofed out at the sleeves.

He did have nice legs.

Lucifer ran his shoulder into his back, pushing him forward slightly and Solomon had to suppress a retort. He didn't need Lucifer’s warnings, and he certainly didn't need to feel his eyes boring into his back with every interaction he had with Asmodeus.

Why did he still have a problem with him? Solomon hadn't done anything. At least nothing to warrant this behavior.

"I promised you, did I not? And I'm a man of my word dear one."

Asmodeus' eyes went from displeasure to sparkling at the little name. It wouldn't be hard to make him happy. He could be good to him.

It didn't mean he was in love, but he could be a decent spouse.

"Now sit, I'm sure I have much to learn about you."

#ruewrites #obey me #obey me solomon #obey me asmodeus #obey me lucifer #tw: suicide mention #TaBoL #slow burn #fluff #angst #royalty!au #arranged marriage!au #asmodeus x solomon #solodeus #asmosolo #soloasmo

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crystalstar8 · 4 years ago

Text

Knights of the Night (ch 12)

Chapter 12

Ch 1, ch 2, ch 3, ch 4, ch 5, ch 6, ch 7, ch 8, ch 9, ch 10, ch 11, ch 12

https://archiveofourown.org/works/29139240/chapters/71536491

pairing: Jungkook x oc

genre: vampire au, college au, twilight, romance

word count: 1,568

warnings: blood (obviously), kidnapping, child kidnapping, needles, France

notes: vampires, vampire au, college, college au, so many twilight references, blood, needles, kidnapping, children, homelessness, dance, ballet, flashbacks, romance, slow burn, probably no smut, idk yet tho, France, French things, attempted genocide, inaccurate French history, bisexual main character, @strawberriewithchocolate-blog @mozy-j @daechwitad-2 @zobadak

summary: Catalina starts college in a small town all the way across the country. She doesn’t know anyone and isn’t exactly looking for friends. She just wants to focus on dance. But when she meets fellow dance major, Jimin, and adventurous, fellow freshman, Jungkook, Catalina ends up discovering a whole new side to the small college town; one that is dangerous but oh so enticing…

tw: graphic depictions of violence, death, mentions of suicide, possession

“Where to start?” he asked. “I was…the son of a king. My life was pretty strict but I had this group of friends. We were all scholars, but when we met in secret, we liked to play with things like witchcraft and necromancy. We wanted to summon something, I don’t even remember what we wanted to summon, maybe someone who had power to give us something. Anyway, we planned it for a long time, and then we went to the woods and did this elaborate ritual. We made a human sacrifice, a woman who served in the palace. I remember her, she was terrified. I didn’t feel bad about it though. I was… cold and apathetic back then, but I still remember her face. After we slit her throat and drained her blood, we set fire to her and all the other ingredients. And then a woman came from…”

Yoongi narrowed his eyes and looked to the ceiling, as if struggling to remember.

“She came from the woods? Or…No, she was standing in our circle. But I think she came from the woods. She was a demon. Her eyes were bright and hard to look at, and the way her body moved seemed unnatural.”

“She was probably just some kind of witch,” said Namjoon. “Demons aren’t real.”

“I know what witches are like, my friends and I were witches,” said Yoongi. “She was definitely not human. Not a vampire either. She was not like anything I’ve ever encountered since – I’m getting off track, we’re not having this conversation, Joon-ah!”

Namjoon chuckled and held up his hands. “Fine, fine.”

“Anyway, she asked who our leader was and they all pointed to me,” Yoongi continued. “Then she asked me what I wanted, or what I most desired, or something like that. I said I wanted eternal life. She just smiled and said that my wish was granted. A day or so later, I started feeling this thirst, this painful, painful thirst. I tried everything, then I realized what I wanted. I started taking blood from the servants in the palace, and my family hid me from the public. They all hid my secret because I needed to take the throne when my father died. But my family was scared because they thought it was a curse. That it might be bad for the kingdom once I took over. I didn’t even really care about taking the throne anymore, or maybe humanity in general stopped being interesting to me, but whatever it was, I left my city and started travelling and living on my own. I might have been trying to find the demon again, I knew she was still wandering around, but it took me several years to find her. It was when I came back to my city and found out that she had taken over the body of my sister, killing the rest of my family and taking the throne. I knew it was her because her eyes were the same and she moved the way she did in the woods that day, but it was unnerving to see it on my sister’s body. It was… difficult to see my family the way they were. She had left them in the palace to rot. There was no staff, just her. I never felt close with my family, but I was alone without them.

“I asked her what she did to me and she told me that she gave me a great gift, that she gave me eternal life. I told her to take it back but she just laughed. I ran away again and was living in the wilderness for years, feeding off of travelers. I was just wandering for so long and it was miserable. I wanted to die, but nothing I tried would work. A few years passed and then I went over to America for a change of scenery. Then I met Namjoon and Taehyung and I moved in. I even checked on my old palace to see if my stuff was still there. It was, so I had it shipped here. I’d say it’s still in pretty good shape after all this time.”

“And by ‘a few years’, he means one thousand years,” said Hoseok. “When were you born? Two-hundred B.C.?”

Yoongi shrugged. “I have no idea. Something like that.”

Despite how disturbed Catalina was by his story, she found it incredibly fascinating. Yoongi must have seen the disturbed faces of the humans in the room because he sat up and said, “I’m not like that anymore. These guys taught me humanity and empathy or whatever.”

“Okay, Hoseok. Your turn,” Jimin said with a grin.

“Me? I already told you everything there is to know!” he said. “Born in the 70s, turned in the 90s, I was a broke college student, but then I had to drop out.”

“This is all we know too,” said Namjoon with a wave of his hand. “He doesn’t like talking about it.”

“Yeah, we can talk about something else,” said Hoseok. “Like, you guys. What do you all plan on doing after school?”

“I want to work L.A.,” said Jimin. “I want to dance in movies and music videos. Maybe be a choreographer for stuff like that.”

“Ooohh,” Hoseok exclaimed. “That would a lot of fun! I would do that.”

“We can both dance in L.A.!” said Jimin.

“Gukkie, what about you? What do you want to do after you graduate?” Catalina asked.

“I have no idea,” he said, laughing. “I like film, but I’ve already changed my major three times, so who knows what will happen with that.”

“What were your previous majors?” she asked.

“Dance, fine arts, political science, and now film,” he said, listing them off of his fingers. Catalina’s eyebrows raised.

“Political science?” she asked.

“Heh, yeah, it was too hard though,” he said. “I don’t like school enough for something like that. I kept failing my classes that semester. What about you? Do you have plans after school?”

Jungkook played with the end of her braid as he asked.

“Um, long term plans, I don’t really know,” said Catalina. “But my dream is to perform in a ballet in France. I hope I can go there and audition after I graduate.”

“You will, you’re really good,” said Jungkook. Catalina blushed and looked away before she did something crazy, like jumping him in front of everyone.

“Thank you,” she said.

“Why did you come all the way out here for college though?” Jimin asked. “You have huge schools in Michigan, and really good performing arts schools in Chicago.”

“Ah, I think I just needed a change,” said Catalina. “I needed to get away. I miss my mom, but I didn’t like my friends there, I didn’t like my town, and ever since I came out as bisexual, my mom had been acting weird-“

“No wonder you, Jungkook and Jimin all get along!” Jin interrupted. “Birds of a feather!”

“Whoa, Jin! So, we’re just outing everyone now?” Jungkook exclaimed. Jimin sighed and rolled his eyes.

“It’s fine, I already knew about you,” Catalina said, patting Jungkook’s thigh.

“I never told you though,” he said.

“Jungkook, what was the first thing you noticed about Namjoon?” Catalina asked.

Jungkook blushed and said, “Thighs.”

Catalina raised an eyebrow. Namjoon looked up with wide eyes.

“Plus, I know you knew it was gonna rain during the baseball game. That’s why you had everyone wear white shirts,” said Catalina.

“That was for you too,” he said with a smirk.

“It was definitely for both of us,” said Catalina, making him laugh. “I appreciate it though.”

“I know,” he said, slipping an arm around her waist. “I saw the way you were looking at me.”

“Okay, I’m about to puke,” said Jimin. “Jimmy K, hurry up and talk about yourself before these two get out of hand.”

Jimmy K chuckled and said, “Well, I’m working on my Masters in Astrophysics, and after grad school, I hope to work for NASA.”

“Jungkook said you were a ‘former bad boy’?” Catalina asked, laughing. “What did that mean?”

“During high school, I used to cause a lot of trouble in this town I guess,” said Jimmy K. “The police chief was my arch nemesis, but now I work with him.”

“Wow, so cool,” Catalina said, sighing dreamily. Jungkook snorted beside her. Jimmy K threw her a wink.

“I already know what Jin is gonna do after college so no need to share-“ Jungkook began.

“Jungkook, you brat! I know what you’re gonna say!” Jin said, pointing a finger at him.

“What?”

“You were gonna say that I’m gonna be a housewife and stay-at-home mom,” Jin said.

“Hey, you said it, not me,” said Jungkook. Jin took off his slipper, got up, walked over, and swatted Jungkook over the head with it. Jungkook leapt to his feet and chased after him.

“He’s getting his teacher’s license,” said Jimmy K.

“You want to be a teacher?” Namjoon asked. Jin shoved Jungkook off of him and sat back down. Jungkook dropped back into his spot next to Catalina.

“Yeah, I want to teach elementary,” said Jin.

“Oh god, good luck,” Yoongi mumbled.

“Well, you better hurry up,” said Jungkook. “Your youth is fading away quickly.”

Jin grabbed a nearby pillow and threw it at him. Jungkook retaliated and soon, the whole room erupted into a pillow fight.

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icedcappujaeno · 5 years ago

Text

kingdom come | one

Jaehyun remembers you, and he hopes that you remember him as well.

genre: mafia!au | fluff | angst | smut

pair: Jaehyun & reader

warnings: language, sexual content, drugs, blood and violence, guns

↤ previous | series masterlist | next ↦

( a/n: heh c: )

“Valentine, can you hear me, over.”

“Chicago to Valentine.”

“Jae-”

He pulls the device away from his ears. Sweat drips from his temple down to his wrist. He clutches the handle before when he hears the door open, footsteps following after.

Jaehyun quietly exhales but he hears his heart thumping. Louder. The footsteps coming closer matching how his heart that he could hear it loudly in his ears.

“He went through here. I’m sure of it,” one says.

At least one of you is vigilant , he thinks.

Jaehyun cocks the barrel and slides away from where he was hiding, shooting the speaker in his chest. His companion reacts even before his body falls to the ground with the fatal shot - shooting to the direction Jaehyun was.

Unfortunately, still too slow.

Jaehyun rolls to the side, kicking the man’s ankles which caused him to fall down. He takes the opportunity to shoot another bullet straight to his lungs. But to these actions, he never noticed another man coming into the room, one making a bullet straight to his direction. Luckily with his reflexes, he managed to dodge a split second, the metal grazing through the fabric of his clothing deep into the skin of his shoulder.

Momentarily he hisses because of the pain, yet Jaehyun manages to get it over quickly, landing a clean shot on the assailant’s head.

He ducks behind the flipped table to reload and hears another set of steps coming towards his direction. He runs just behind the walls of the fallen door - and as one entered, sneaks up to land a fatal blow towards the back of the man’s neck. The other points his gun towards Jaehyun, but as to his quick senses, pulls the arm towards him, flipping him over with the remaining strength he has, before planting a bullet on the man’s head once more.

Jaehyun exhales.

“This is Valentine,” he says as he brings the comm back to his ears. “Cleaning up cleared.”

“YOU FUCKING SHIT!”

Johnny screams through the comm, and Jaehyun thinks his eardrums are being snapped at. It was pure regret to put them back on. The elder continues to interrogate his locations to which he answers meekly as to be careful - there might be more around that are hunting for him.

When he stands, the graze on his shoulder stung, and he hisses at the burning sensation. There is blood from his shoulder when he reaches for it, thus he places his free hand over for pressure to prevent more bleeding. Slowly, he walks over to the hallway, now stinking of dried blood.

Jaehyun didn’t even get to the half of the hall when he heard running, thus he concealed himself behind a vase stand.

“This way!” One of them shouts, but a series of gunshots fires after.

He hears a man whistle, then a slap of a hand on thick fabric.

“Jeno nice kill!”

Jaehyun chuckles and shakes his head.

“Were you not told that you should call another agent by their code, Pudu?”

He says, standing up to meet his two companions - two juniors on the field. The hand on his shoulder still patched, to which the black-haired boy notices.

“You’re injured, Hyung!”

Both rushed to his side, and Jaehyun saw the panic in their eyes.

“As much as I’d love to flick your foreheads right now,” he hisses. “Ah, shit. Should I be really giving lessons now-“

“Yeah, you should!” Another voice breaks him, and when Jaehyun looks over the hall, Johnny’s coming closer in big, angry strides. Jeno and Haechan move to the side to give way to Johnny.

With the first aid kit, Johnny applies a mediocre patch with thick layers of gauze. He finishes the dressing by roughly putting on micropore tapes haphazardly over the injured shoulder.

“But they won’t be the one taking lessons, Jaehyun, it’ll be you—and by that I mean go back to the training where you’ll learn patience and obedience!” Johnny screams with obvious frustration laces his tone.

“I can do it alone, hyung—“

“Bullshit,” Johnny scoffs, then turns his back to Jaehyun. “Carry Valentine up to the escape, Prince. Pudu, come with me.”

The two mentioned complies, but Jaehyun is reluctant to not go. He was about to speak when Johnny walked away with Haechan, leaving no room for argument.

Jeno looks at him with pitiful eyes. He hears rumors of Jaehyun going insane by charging in alone, with no comms, when he sees fit, and now he’s seen it. A true suicidal maniac who succeeds nevertheless.

“Prince. Bring Valentine over,” Jeno hears Taeyong through the comms. Jeno looks at Jaehyun — his lips pursed and brows knitted, probably in annoyance.

“Yes sir.”

Jaehyun looks at him with venomous eyes. Jeno cowers, his heart beats a little faster than normal, but no. An order is an order.

“Valentine hyung. Let’s go.”

The older looks at him for a brief few seconds and sighs. He could not hurt Jeno, and running away would probably sanction the kid. He couldn’t risk it — couldn’t be the one putting the blame.

He nods and lets Jeno assist him by putting his arm over the little one’s frame for support, drenched in blood and sweat.

━ ┉ ━

“Pass.”

Johnny attempts to imitate Jaehyun’s baritone when Taeil asks whether they’re up for a night of chicken and beer after finishing their reports on the previous mission. Jaehyun was the only man in the room to not be amused by the elder’s banter as his brows were knitted in obvious annoyance.

“Stop that, hyung,” he says as he gathers his coat to his hand. When he stands, he pushes the button of his computer to turn it off. “But I’ll pass.”

Johnny mouths ‘I told you so’ to the people around which earned fits of giggles.

“Come on, Jaehyun,” Taeil insists. “It’s just for tonight.”

If other people would observe, Jaehyun’s actions would be seen as disrespectful - as he straight out walks towards the time clock to punch out. However, since almost everyone in the office knows of his past, they let him be. Jaehyun wasn’t like this before that incident - and adjusting to his cold demeanor was quite difficult, to say the least, but everyone managed to lengthen their patience towards him.

“Okay, I’ll be honest,” Haechan raises his hand. “I am starting to lose my patience towards Jaehyun hyung.”

“Haechan,” Johnny sighs. “We talked about this.”

“It’s been two years!” The younger whines. “He should have moved on.”

“Thought you were teaching your kids well, Johnny hyung,” Taeyong quips as he gets out of his office. He looks so exhausted with his disheveled hair, first button of his shirt undone, and the loose necktie. Johnny could never imagine the piles of paper waiting for him on his desk. These were times that he was thankful that he was only a supervisor .

“I did,” Johnny shrugs. “But did he lie though?”

Silence fills the room and everyone internally agrees, even Taeyong.

Two years since Jaehyun got involved in a car accident .

“So, chicken and beer?” Taeil finally stands from his seat then stretches the knots out of his back muscles. Everyone follows except for Taeyong, who only smiles and frees his neck from the tie hanging around all day.

━ ┉ ━

Two years since Jaehyun lost you.

Two years he’s been self-suffering. Two years of blaming. Two years of guilt.

And in the span of two years, he learns a new routine. Work. Then home. It was foreign not to go out with his co-workers in the first five months, but he swallows his guilt - he shouldn’t be happy while you’re gone. He doesn’t deserve it, it’s what he thinks. In the first five months, he drinks and tries to forget, but it wasn’t working for him.

He was beyond broken, raising the worries of his co-workers. His friends .

In the next months, Taeil and Yuta buy him gym equipment; ‘to keep himself busy’ as they say. Jaehyun appreciates the concern and thinking that not using it would rust them off, he learns to use them. In nights of insomnia, as you continue to appear in his dreams, taken in by the guilt and emotional repression, he goes up and trains until his body can’t move anymore.

This night wasn’t any different.

Jaehyun lies on the floor of his training ground. He’s drenched in sweat and it sticks to the mat below, but he pays no mind. He stares at the ceiling - your smile comes through his mind. He misses you, so much. And it hurts so badly. He isn’t alone but he feels like one without your presence. He shouldn’t be feeling guilty as it was an accident, but he’s blaming himself: he shouldn’t have invited you to a fancy dinner. He should have listened to you but he didn’t.

Jaehyun looks at his watch. The screen flashes and shows 01:13 AM.

He shouldn’t be laying on the floor drenched in sweat. Right now, you should have been laying with him instead, your soft snores melody to his ears.

He stares at the ceiling once again. He has deleted all your pictures in order to forget, but it keeps coming…

Jaehyun cries.

He swore he’ll never cry once more, yet your face, your dear facade keeps haunting his thoughts.

He wants you back.

━ ┉ ━

“You should be glad I’m still awake,” Rose quips, lightning her cig as she sits on the edge of Jaehyun’s bed. The white shirt tossed by Jaehyun earlier covers her slender upper body to her mid-thighs.

Jaehyun only hums, sitting beside her. He comes back from the shower from which he throws out the condom he used just a while ago. With him wearing his birthday suit, Rose can’t help but admire his body; sculpted into perfection. She was staring until he raised a brow.

Rose offers him a cig and he accepts, letting her light his stick.

“Yeah,” Jaehyun huffs from his cigarette. “Thanks.”

She offers him a knowing look. Her legs are crossed while her chin rests on her palms, supported by her elbows on her knees. A smile comes across her sultry lips. “So?”

He looks at her incredulously. “So?”

Rose shrugs. She glances at the clock by his nightstand and huffs a smoke out of her cigarette. “It’s almost 3 AM.”

“And?”

She reaches for her bag resting on the nightstand and fishes her phone out. She scrolls back to her recent contacts, most recently coming from Jaehyun. “Booty calls at 1:48 in the morning? Like I’ve said, you’re lucky I’m still up.”

Jaehyun chuckles dryly in reply, before blowing another smoke from his light. “I know you’d come anyway.”

“I mean,” Rose sighs dreamily, looking at Jaehyun’s body rather salaciously. He’s covered in his own sweat, mixed a little bit with hers, and it’s the hottest view Rose had ever seen in her entire life. “I’d be an idiot to turn you down.”

Jaehyun extinguishes his cig on a nearby ashtray and runs his fingers through his tresses. She imitates his actions, reaching over to the lone ashtray where he extinguished his stick. His gaze follows suit, weighing down whether he’ll let her stay until the sun rises or let her go home.

Rose has been of great help to him. He needs release at times, and she’s been willing to do him a favor every time ever since they met at the bar when Jaehyun was still in the first few months of recovering . She confessed her lowkey crush on him and they’ve been hooking up ever since.

It was hard to admit, but Rose knew she’s only nothing. When they fuck around, his eyes are void of any emotion. Sure, his face tells him he feels good as well as his moans and grunts, but Rose knew that it was all just lustful desires. A short-term form of happiness.

“Stay the night,” he says, proceeding to put stray strands of her hair behind her ears. His touch was cold like his exterior. Rose wishes she could break those walls, but she also knows that it’s not yet the time to do those if she wants to keep using him.

A mutual understanding. Both sides benefited. She thinks that somehow, this is okay. At least for now.

She nods. It was quite late anyway, and the sun will be rising soon. It was part of the deal - that she leaves as the sun rises, so lays on his bed, inhaling his scent. Jaehyun follows suit, inviting her over to his and she scoots over, making his chest as a pillow. He runs his hand through her soft hair.

But the problem is, Jaehyun feels nothing after all these.

#jaehyun fic #jaehyun scenario #jaehyun angst #jaehyun smut #neowritingsnet #jaehyun x reader #jung jaehyun #nct angst #nct fic #nct x reader #nct fluff

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