#;i was never the biggest. never the strongest. but i was bravest... always. (character study - grey worm) | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

reivenesque · 5 years ago

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Cobra Kai Fic: Hawk Eyes CH1

In the aftermath of his best friend’s devastating injury, Hawk is forced to do some serious introspection. Post season two. Hawk character study.

Eli Moskowitz was a whiny, pussy ass little bitch and Hawk hated his guts.

More than that, Hawk hated the fact that he ever used to be him.

He hated Eli’s clothes and his hair and his stupid face and his freaky scar and the fact that he was constantly cowering in fear over nothing and everything.

Hawk wasn’t afraid of anything.

Hawk looked at everything straight in the eye and would inevitably punch it in the face. He punched objects and people and trees and other Cobras and even a clown that one time (but it was a clown so that was justification enough) and he liked it – it made him feel strong. It made him feel powerful and invincible and like he had life firmly by the balls and could conquer anything.

But most of all, it made him forget that he was ever Eli Moskowitz, the loser; the nerd; the freak with the weird lip.

It made him forget the nights he cried himself to sleep out of embarrassment and shame. It made him forget the time he hid himself in the bathroom stall just to get away from the laughter and the teasing of everyone in school. It made him forget all the looks of pity the teachers used to give him and the empty words of comfort they used to spew. It made him forget the sight of people constantly pointing at his lip and laughing as he passed by, covering him mouth and wishing that the ground would part under his feet and swallow him whole.

Eli Moskowitz was a pathetic loser who got picked on by everyone.

Hawk was strong. Hawk wasn’t afraid of anything.

At least that’s what he kept telling himself – chanting to himself like a mantra as he knelt by Miguel’s side while the paramedics worked on him. While they stabilized him and strapped him to the back board, trying not to show on their face how serious they thought his injury might actually be.

He tried to drown out everything else; the whispers and the murmurs and the sound of the teachers finally growing enough balls to come out of their hiding places to herd the students away from the hall.

Not one person touched him. No one dared.

He ignored Tory standing off to the side, looking at Miguel’s unmoving figure still sprawled on the stairs like a broken doll.

He even ignored Sam who was crying softly, one arm wrapped protectively around her chest and the other stroking his hair with the gentlest touch as she knelt by his head.

There was a part of him that was still Eli that almost reached over to place a hand on her shoulder in comfort. If nothing else, it was because he knew Miguel still cared about her and he cared about Miguel and for a split second, that was almost enough to quell the hatred in his heart. But the moment was fleeting and by the time the paramedics had loaded Miguel onto the gurney and started heading out towards where the ambulance was waiting for them – that little Eli inside him was nothing more than a distant memory.

Miguel might never walk again.

That’s what people were saying.

More so than that – he might even die.

Hawk never did put much stock in the gossip tree because that’s what it was – gossip. Heresay. Bullshit.

Miguel was the strongest person he knew. He was the bravest, the most fearless person and Hawk knew there was no way he was going to let anything keep him down.

But there was a part of him, a part that wasn’t really Eli, that wasn’t really Hawk either; a part that was just a sixteen year old boy terrified about losing his best friend that asked: Would it not?

A broken back. That’s what people were saying. Paralysed. That’s what another would whisper back. The longer the rumour mill spun the more severe the extent of Miguel’s injures became to the masses. The truth was, no one really knew, not even the doctors. Or rather, they wouldn’t know the true extent until he woke up.

Before that moment, Hawk couldn’t have imagined the words ‘wake up’ would ever carry such a terrible connotation or bring on such a feeling of direness.

Waking up from sleep. Waking up from a nap. Waking up from a day dream or a wet dream or both.

It was just… normal. Nothing anyone ever really thought about twice.

Miguel was in a coma for almost three days. It was three days of worried pacing and uncertainty and fear waiting for him to just ‘wake up’.

Three days of occupying the hospital waiting room with people he hated passing through, waiting for news that never ended up coming.

It was the longest three days of his life in which so many things other things happened almost as if life just carried on while Miguel was fighting for his life.

All the Cobra Kai and Miyagi-Do students that had taken part in the melee had gotten suspended. Hawk was surprised that none of them had just gotten outright expelled. But then again, he knew that the school wasn’t going to expel the daughter of their biggest donor, LaRusso. So obviously they didn’t want to seem like they were blatantly playing favourites by expelling everyone else but her; especially because Sam was caught on multiple videos being one of the people who started the fight.

The other reason was because it was clear as day that although the Cobra Kai were the ones who instigated the fight, the reason Miguel was seriously injured (on school property – something that didn’t align well with school policy) was because he stopped fighting. Hell, he even apologized to Keene before Keene blindsided him and kicked him off the balcony.

Hawk knew even Miyagi-Do couldn’t find justification for what Keene did to Miguel, but then again, he knew the Miyagi-Do and their sensei hated them enough to probably try.

It didn’t matter anyway – Keene was going to pay one way or another. All of them were.

Then almost like a grim sign from above, Sensei Kreese returned, vowing revenge on the Miyagi-Do for what they did and Hawk was angry enough at them, at Keene and Sam and Sensei and even Aisha for not being as angry as he was for what they did to Miguel to take everything he said to heart, to allow it to fuel his rage even further. He was a Cobra Kai, their motto was No Mercy – something neither Sensei nor Aisha or even Miguel seemed to remember which succeeded in fuelling his hatred.

It was easy to be angry. It was easy to have an outlet to direct his rage and to release all his pent up emotions with his fists.

It was easier to be angry than to be scared or acknowledge that was how he truly felt on the inside.

Terrified.

Absolutely terrified.

He was terrified for Miguel. He was terrified of losing Miguel, of losing his best and closest friend; the person he trusted most to watch his back and the only person who liked Hawk just as much as he liked Eli, or rather, liked Eli just as genuinely as he liked Hawk. Aisha didn’t count because she didn’t really know Eli before Hawk stomped him out of existence.

Everyone else either liked Eli or Hawk; none of them could really accept them being the same person.

Demitri liked Eli, but hated Hawk. Sensei liked Hawk, but hated Eli. No one in school gave a shit about the kid with the freaky scar; the loser with the deformed face, until he became the guy with the Mohawk and the badass tattoo.

Eli was no one to anyone until he became Hawk, except to Miguel, because to Miguel, both Eli and Hawk had at different points been the only thing that mattered - a friend.

Hawk never told him how much it meant to him then and how much it meant to him still and he was afraid that he wouldn’t get another chance to do so.

Miguel was in the hospital for two days before Hawk was finally allowed up to see him. And whatever sight he’d imagined – no matter how much he’d prepared himself and told himself that everything was okay, that Miguel was going to be okay; the moment his eyes fell on his friend lying so hurt, so prone in that bed; surrounded by beeping machines and wires and IV’s, his neck and spine held erect by a hard, uncomfortable looking brace – it took every inch of his willpower not to let Hawk crumble to the ground and allow Eli to start weeping and blubbering like a simpering pussy.

Miguel’s mom was friendly enough towards him the entire time he was there, but Hawk could see the hurt in her gaze every time he eyes glanced down to the sight of the Cobra Kai logo on his t-shirt.

When she had her back turned to him to fuss over Miguel, he quietly zipped up his jacket to hide the image from her eyes.

He was in no way ashamed of his dojo and he sported their emblem proudly. To him, there was only one person and one faction to blame for what happened to Miguel and that was Keene and Miyagi-Do dojo. But he knew it wasn’t the time, place or person he needed to argue his case against. So for once, he kept his mouth shut.

It was tough being around Miguel then; being able to see his best friend and have him within touching distance, but at the same time knowing that he might as well have been a thousand miles away. It was tough not being able to talk to him and joke with him; of having to just sit there with the knowledge that he let down the one person who always had his back – knowing that he didn’t have his friend’s back when he needed it the most. It was hard acknowledging the fact that while Keene had delivered the fatal blow, all of them had had a part in escalating the fight to that point.

He shook away the thought almost as quickly as it appeared.

He was a Cobra Kai. Cobra Kai doesn’t show mercy to anyone.

That’s what Miguel did, and look at what happened?

But what if Miguel hadn’t shown mercy? What if the roles had been reversed and it was Miguel on the run for almost killing a fellow student? That’s the question that Eli had brought up and Hawk would have smothered himself to silence the voice. But he couldn’t shake the thought completely from his mind.

This all happened because one person had shown mercy, and the other person hadn’t.

But what if both of them hadn’t shown mercy to the other?

What if both of them had?

Hawk hated overthinking the what ifs and maybes. He’d rather solve problems with his fists, but he knew that he couldn’t do that this time.

The absolute last thing he expected or wanted was to run into any of the Miyagi-Do, his sensei, Aisha or really another human being, while he was there at Miguel’s bedside. But naturally the universe had a way of screwing him from behind without mercy because it was at that exact moment that Sam appeared at the door.

He immediately pushed himself off the wall he’d been leaning against, watching Mrs. Diaz as she fussed over Miguel the way only a mother ever could, his arms crossed over his chest and taking a couple of steps to place himself between the newcomer and Miguel.

However, whatever scathing words he was about to say, whatever biting insult he was about to let fly, died on his lips the moment Sam’s eyes fell on Miguel lying in the hospital bed and her face just immediately crumbled. Tears welled up in her eyes and her hands leapt to her mouth as she let out a strangled sob.

Hawk watched as if it were in slow motion as her legs gave out from under her and she almost slid down to the floor on her knees. He was, however, saved from his almost instinctual response of reaching out to grab her before she fell by the second person who appeared almost out of nowhere.

The woman grabbed Sam around the shoulder to steady her and drew her back into her chest, holding her upright in an embrace.

The sadness on her face that mirrored Sam’s or was the result of it meant that she couldn’t have been anyone other than her mom. Hawk knew that much at least. Moms were good like that. His mom was like that too.

His benevolence in that situation lasted for as long as it took her to notice him standing in Sam’s way; after that he was back to being a Cobra Kai and she was back to being a faceless entity affiliated with the enemy. Especially when her eyes looked past him, towards where Miguel was lying unconscious – hurt because of one of them, in a fight they had picked that injured her daughter. Hawk knew enough of Daniel LaRusso from their sensei’s stories and through his own experience dealing with the Miyagi-Do and their prejudice towards their dojo to be able to anticipate what was about to happen – what she was about to say to him.

Every single nerve in his body started bristling; his heckles were raised and he was completely prepared to lay just as much blame that was about to be placed on him, his dojo and Miguel himself.

But none came.

Her expression was one of sadness and sympathy when she turned back to look at him and said, “I’m so sorry about your friend.”

Hawk couldn’t do much beyond staring at her, mouth agape.

But Sam’s mom didn’t seem like she was expecting a response because she didn’t wait for one. She maneuverer Sam to the side where there was a vacant seat that Hawk had declined pushed up against the wall, and lowered her daughter into it before approaching Mrs. Diaz.

Neither of them said anything to each other, but the looks they shared were full of understanding and was intimate enough to make Hawk avert his gaze to focus on the floor.

He heard but didn’t see the sound of Mrs. Diaz’s muffled sobs. He heard but didn’t see the sound of Sam’s mom offering words of comfort. He heard but didn’t see when her own voice started breaking.

He heard a lot but didn’t see because it wasn’t his place. Instead he sidled up to the wall he’d been leaning against and retook his position like a silent guardian.

For a moment it didn’t matter that it was Sam LaRusso sitting sobbing in the seat next to him. For a minute it didn’t matter that it was a Miyagi-Do student, one of the enemy and one of the reasons Miguel was in the hospital in the first place sitting beside him crying.

For that one moment, it didn’t matter that he reached down to place his hand on her shoulder in reassurance. It didn’t matter that she reached up to cover his with her tear stained, shaking own. It didn’t matter that he let her do it or that he found some measure of comfort in the contact.

For that one moment, it didn’t matter that they were enemies or that they hated each other’s guts, because for that one moment, it was only their love for Miguel that truly mattered.

#cobra kai #miguel diaz #hawk #eli moskowitz #johnny lawrence #samantha larusso #whump #reiven fics #reiven cobra kai fics #fics: hawk eyes

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