#;; or . . . on the flipside! when she cries in front of missandei she's worried that . . . she isn't *being strong* for the person

[kaerinio]

i’ll write a full headcanon/meta about the fact that daenerys is very much a feeler, but due to the abuse she suffered during her childhood, leading into her adolescence, she has learned to cope with her feelings by repressing them —  —  — and, later, as queen, she often tells herself that her feelings do not matter so long as her people are safe, prosperous, and thriving.

daenerys does feel. god, she feels very strongly, and she is fully aware of this, which is why she is constantly reminding herself that “the dragon does not weep” and that she is a queen who cannot appear too emotional ( or weak ) in front of her people, her council, her handmaids, everyone. she must be strong for everyone, must carry them all, allowing no burden to befall them. and much of this responsibility is born out of daenerys' transformation in the eyes of her people.

daenerys is deified by her people the moment they name her mother of dragons, breaker of chains, mother, mhysa, etc. these moments, which take place over the span of a couple years solidify this stripping away of her status as simply human. that first shift from khaleesi to mother of dragons signals a transformation to daenerys, and this is the moment where she is reborn, not only in her sense of self, but she is reborn for her people, going from a young woman to a legendary figure. and daenerys both recognizes this . . . and chooses to honor it.

additionally, there is a split for daenerys between all of her titles that signal who she is in the PUBLIC ( where she is the dragon queen, the mother of dragons, the strong leader, the conqueror, the nurturer ) and in the PRIVATE ( where we see her smiling, laughing, allowing herself to be herself, reading childhood stories that enable her to reclaim the youth that is so distant, so robbed ). everyone has their public and private ways of being, and they have the ability to live within these spaces in harmony. this is the case for daenerys, but something that has always struck me is how she utilizes her PUBLIC SPACE self in order to create emotional distance when she feels HURT. not only does she “dragons don’t feel” herself, but we also see her use her public self as a means of shoving her feelings down. 

to those close to her, dany isn't particularly strict about titles. for instance, jorah refers to her interchangeably as “daenerys” and “your grace��. daario does the same. however, in moments where she feels particularly sensitive to what they are saying, feels too exposed/too seen, she corrects them, tosses her title at them, retreats into untouchable space because she knows that her public space self is, in a way, untouchable. and she believes this space must be void of her own personal feelings ; thus, in these moments, she shifts her self in order to protect her feelings and create distance between herself, these emotions, and the person who is stirring the emotions.