#;; bc orthorexia is not in the DSM-V or the TR version

[abrasife]

He said something he didn't mean back then? Well, it honestly didn't seem like it to Keith, but he supposed it was best to accept that reasoning. People who had crushes on other people could possibly blow things out of proportion at times (like the time he had gotten a bit too anxious, maybe jealous, for his own good when the girl he liked was being chummy with a guy they both knew). He supposed that Connor lashing out back then was similar to that feeling he had himself concerning Ophelia. Besides, that was years ago—why was he even stuck on that interpretation anyway?

❝ I'm not mad about it, ❞ Keith replied, clarifying his feelings. He wasn't; he really wasn't. It was more like... he felt hurt by those words. He didn't really know. But it was clear that because of how he seemed to be averse to mentioning Reanne's good points did rub Connor the wrong way back then. Though, that moment sure did tell him that it was others' feelings that mattered more than what he was trying to get at with his words. After all, Keith recalled mentioning her flaws as a reality check—that just because Reanne was good at times didn't mean her flaws were easy for most people to handle (hell, even now she still had the same worrying coping problems).

Now that he thought about it, what even happened with those two after that conversation? Briefly glancing toward Connor, just barely bringing the other's arm into his field of vision, Keith debated on shifting the topic away from the confession of vulnerability he had made earlier, ❝ Do you and Reanne still talk? ❞ Honestly speaking, he doubted they would get together if Connor hadn't already gotten rejected by this point.

Changing the topic was probably the only thing he could do at this point—bringing up feelings again without being asked was simply too hard to do. He couldn't say it all again unprompted. His eyes darted between the toast and the bottle, debating as to which one to reach out to. Reaching for the toast again, Keith used it as an excuse to keep his mouth shut, taking another bite to avoid having to somehow steer the conversation back to what it was supposed to be. He would've reached for the water bottle, but it wasn't like he could open it himself anyhow (and he wouldn't dare ask for help to open it unless he wanted to feel ashamed again).

Connor got up to throw the cardboard container in his hand away, knowing if he got into the bad habit of leaving trash sit out it tended to make his depression worse due to clutter in his apartment. He took the time to grab them each a water, making sure that Keith's was room temperature. He wasn't sure exactly what was going on with Keith's hands, but it seemed that anything cold made it worse and he didn't want to trigger anything that he could avoid. Especially now that he knew and realized what was going on. The raven did feel bad for not picking up on it sooner, though, and making the other male spell it out for him. Usually he was better at picking hints up than that, he must be slightly off his game.

He decided that it was okay, though, since he and Keith had never really talked like this. Connor was just starting to learn the other and his habits and in due time would be able to react to him accordingly. It was one of the things that Connor learned from being on the sidelines for so many years, even if at times it looked like his life was together. The raven honestly was fighting to stay above water with every passing breath.

He worked his way back into the living room, setting the room temperature water in front of the other and taking a drink of his own before setting it down next to his tea. Connor could go days without eating, especially if he brought himself to take a drink every once in a while. Everyone, of course, was different and Connor refused to put depression and anxiety in themselves in a box. Keith handled his depression a lot differently than the raven, and such in reverse.

Connor looked over at Keith when he talked, avoiding looking at the other up until this point. He noticed the towel had moved and a few bites were taken out of the toast. Good. Something was better than nothing. Connor wanted to give Keith more, something that would actually benefit his stomach in the long run that still would be easy to eat, but Connor mentally could only bring himself to do so much still.

"Everyone says something that they don't wholeheartedly mean in the long run. every once in a while." He'd said those words to Keith before he'd ever really gotten to know the guy. Everyone deserved to be gotten to know, and Connor tried hard to not lash out before doing so, but in the long run no one is perfect.

He gave Keith a small smile, almost wanting to reach out to him so the other knew he was being true, but didn't want to spook the guy out of being even the small amount of comfortable that he was right now. "I'm sorry that I said that to you, and I thoroughly hope that you forgive me at some point for saying it." He sighed, leaning back on the couch now and falling silent.