#; i think this is the fastest i've ever written an eval

[rkhongjoong]

             ▆▆▆▆▆▆                 `          FEBRUARY EVALUATIONS   ___    ❤︎                                                                                                                     。。。      p e r f o r m i n g   h u t a ` s   y a

it’s not that jinseok doesn’t have a singing voice.  it’s just not very refined.

so this month is a challenge.  when he decides on his performance for the evaluations, his coach gives him a quizzical glance since (  they have tricks up their sleeve  )  because he knows that jinseok isn’t a vocalist, but jinseok simply gives him his beaming smile and says he’ll work on it.  there’s nothing wrong with challenging yourself to do better, and if he’s meant to debut, there’s going to be some singing to it eventually.

jinseok wants to be an all around performer.

at the very least, jinseok knows what his limits are.  of course he’s not going to be a great vocalist overnight, and picking ya as a potential song was actually a process of elimination.  of everything that he considered for the month, he feels like huta’s vocals, style, dance and rap are closest to what he’d be able to manage for a performance at the end of the month.

it takes a lot of work.  for a long time, he throws himself into focus on practicing for the performance because it helps to distract him from the other things that he doesn’t want to think about: the breakup, the fight with jinwook, the worry of his parents when he practically begged to spend a weekend back at home.  lately, jinseok’s been standing on a knife’s edge, trying to balance life and everything that comes with it.  thankfully with the appearance of jaehwan in his life, and being able to throw himself into practice like this, it helps to bury the storm for a time.  

he knows that he’ll have to deal with it eventually, but for now, jinseok works on his vocals.  he works on his dance.  he sweats, until he makes every move pop where it should and until his vocals don’t strain or give out while he dances.  then he sometimes stays with jaehwan, other times he goes home to sleep.

(  sometimes, he thinks of jaehwan when he practices and it makes it come a little easier.  )

performance day comes and he isn’t too worse for wear.  perhaps he’s not perfect because no one is going to be a main vocal in a month, but jinseok’s done enough practicing and enough polishing to give a solid performance.  that much he can give himself credit for, and he’s pleased with the results from this month.  hopefully, his coaches will say the same.

he’s a little confused though, about what the coach tells him.  he’s never not finished a performance, especially one for an evaluation so it’s a little hard to understand what they’d be reminding him for now.  jinseok still takes it in stride, and nods his head in agreement with a promise that he won’t let his coach down.  that he’ll show just how much he’s improved over the month, and give the performance that he wants to show.

the music plays, and things go off without a hitch - at first.  the amount of practice he put in makes things a lot easier, though that’s the same with anything: the more you work for something, the easier it’ll come to you.  the results you want will always show if you take the time to work for them.  

but then, things start to go wrong.  the backing track cuts out and jinseok honestly doesn’t even notice at first - the music still plays in his head and he moves along with it, so it takes a few seconds for him to realize that the audio isn’t playing in the background.  

but why should that matter? 

it’s starting to make sense though, why his coach told him he has to finish the performance no matter what.  after a simple and single quizzical glance upward, jinseok does as he’s told: he finishes the performance.  without the backing track, it’s a lot easier to tell where his vocals stand a little weak and clearly won’t match those of a polished singer, but he continues nonetheless.  where jinseok lacks in vocals, he still shines in dance and shines in rap - all of that hits well on key.

jinseok wants to be a well rounded performer.  that includes all the mishaps that come with it.