#//yes it isn’t. it’s a grog thing which turns into their worst fear so it’s like a bad version of her lol

[muffindaddystyles]

LOST IN ITALY.

Where Harry's cute assistant gets lost in city of Italy and the thought of loosing her drives him bullocks.

Flatulent gust of breezy wind kept wiggling through Harry’s coffee lovelocks, sunshine bounces against his soft skin and his pink heart-shaped mouth stays puckered as he takes in the beauty of his surroundings with his cheek smashed over his wrist – which’s resting atop the rooftop of yacht and his head perks up puppy like when tufty giggles maroons in his ears.

He gazes his cute assistant from under his ray bans and skims back a timid smile when her face beams with glee, her cotton puffy sleeved sundress blows away from the breeze giving glimpses of her plump thighs and Harry sucks in a breath snapping his eyes away.

“Harry look s’beautiful!” She squeals taking another picture of landscape with her grandpa's vintage Yoshika camera and Harry just rumbles his lips, shrugs and slumps back, a lazy mumble of “mehhh” elicits past his lips.

She’s just so endearing, and cute and fucking adorable it’s hard for Harry to keep from not babying her.

When he first went to sets of My Policemen he considered her rather unprofessional, as everyone kept on finding her but it seemed like she vanished into thin air, turned out when Harry took a break in his cubby she was lighting up saffron and black scented candles, “Oh! Thought you’d like comin' back to nice smelling room —-- holy fudge .... by the way, me Y/N your new assistant for the meantime.” His all grumpiness defused into bunch of reverence for her.

She'd always beat him to bringing in brekkie and smoothies for him and her fellows, sometimes giving him the velvet muffins before he goes back home --- Harry became such a drooly lovey puppy for her that he decided to keep it stern from then.

He’s trying. He’s prolly gonna fail.

Y/N isn’t very immune to water trips and she was well aware that a sickness is coming – but so soon? She didn’t know that!

So, when she chokes onto nothing and then gags driving Harry into fritz. Harry tries to keep his balls in place and not panic because that’d just spill his secret and expose him.

He quickly facades himself under stoniness, “Christ! Y/N if you die on me —-,” Though, grabs her elbow lightly and walks her to the edge of the deck.

Y/n smacks his hand away. Glares him and grunts pushing her hair away aggressively, “Don’t tell me what to do I’ll die wherever the hell I want!” His pupils resembling to that of clashing waves of sea blows away comically as she huffs and pushes past him.

“Better die and ghost you for life.” She gags into her elbow again and he rushes to grab her hand, when she pulls away with a tut he rolls his eyes brings his glasses to the bridge of his nose and looks at her from under the brown sunnies, “Jeez just holdin' a hand, not gonna slip a ring, ‘s that what yer afraid of.”

“Just admit you’re desperate to hold my hand.” She smirks up at him and he cackles, then dims into nervous chuckles because oh fuck he’s getting caught red handed.

“No.” He mutters.

How much she resists not to pout and turn all fussy over his denial she ends up doing so and it’s his turn to smirk cheekily at her.

“Are you mad? You look mad.” He wiggles his finger at her and she grumbles folding her arms infront of her bosom and cranes her head to side, “I’m not mad.”

“Yer pretty face’s all screwed up, like you’re mad.” He nibbles at her and she glowers him --- sighing at last, the wisp of her hair falling in her eyes, her lips plush and glossy from sick.

“I’m perturbed, not mad.”

Then there’s an overrated pause of silence and heartbeats before Harry pokes her knee.

“You still look mad.” His face splits into a wide cheeky grin – showing his bunny teeth and she stands up hastily wobbling a little.

“’M’not mad! But I’ll be soon Harry Styles!!!!” She goes for smacking him at chest but he jerks back and sneaks his way out squealing annoyingly, “Mommy come save me from this feisty sea-creature.”

“You mean a mermaid?” She giggles.

“No. Frogfish.” He deadpans.

“I’m not talking to you ever again!” She cries out and turns away from him but he barks out a laugh --- riling her up is the most entertaining thing and seeing her make cute fussy faces another.

“’Kay, sorry! Wouldn’t do it again.” He toddles behind her and glides his forearm against her clavicles bringing her to his front, “Says this everytime!” She squirms pushing him away but he’s ten times stronger than her and even if she’s ... she’d want to spend some more time like this.

“Wouldn’t call ye' frogfish —-.. from now on.” She nods. Humming in agreement and he turns her, holding her from shoulders and looks down at her with glinting eyes and wide toothy mouth.

“How ‘bout blobfish? They look more funny.”

“I’m gonna kill you, Harry Styles!”

..

They were given a loft infront of the shore 10 minutes drive away from the shooting place and after fighting over who'll occupy the bed, bickering and pillow fighting over it and almost making it creaky loose bench Y/N went back to living room telling him that he snores so much, “Sorry but ‘m too sensitive to piggy snorey noises – better sleep outside.” He was fuming and gritty mess, flailing his limbs like a baby because he was “the hair on his directors head” away from sharing the bed with her.

“Whateva! your loss. Don’t come t'me beggin’ to pop your backbones.” He told her in high pitched mimickness and flumped under cool sheets.

His one hour nap turned into two then three. In the meantime, Y/N made a sandwich from the fresh veggies piled in the fridge, sipped onto her matcha drink sitting beside the window and enjoyed he view, even went through her socials.

Realized that she’s missing him around her terribly even if it’s just jokes and giggles and shit, whatever, so she took her camera and went outside to take pictures of shore and the purple sky battling with hue of clouds.

She got so charmed with Italy's beauty that she kept on walking and taking pictures, only to realize when the bustle of crowd dropped into tranquil quietness and she found herself into some unknown street.

She’s fucked.

She’s lost.

She has got nothing,

Not even her phone.

She contemplates to knock on the house doors and ask for locations but she’s petrified of the idea and tries to find some shop, so she could call someone and ask them to pick her up.

Dumb. Dumb. Dumbest decision, she has ever taken in her life.

When she sees no passer by, none tourists no-one in sight and the daylight defusing and darkness laughing and taunting her tears springs in her eyes --- bubbling at the corners and weeping down furiously.

Her heartbeats drops dead when she sees a group of men approaching towards her. She runs away hiding into the dark tunnel and clamps her mouth shut from crying out loud when they walk away -- they weren’t about to do anything to her – it was just her feared instincts.

“Harry ......” She whisper-cries into her wrist, her legs weak and trembly making her tumble down into dusty stoned pavement, her back getting scratched from the bricked wall of tunnel.

..

Harry woke up to pin-drop silence. Void of the sun that was once glimmering through the window, “Y/N.” He grogs out, knuckling the sleepiness away and trudged out finding the room empty.

It startles him. Waking him up properly now. A sweat flushes down his spine when he couldn’t even find her in the washroom and at the door-steps.

He dials her number and finds it at the coffee table, gruff cruses breathes out from his mouth at that.

FuckFuckFuckFuck.

His heart feels like someone’s squeezing it mercilessly in their grip when he goes outside, but couldn’t spot her and he finds it difficult to breathe, chest heaving as he snaps his head in every direction to look for the face he’s oh so in love with.

Where are you, Y/N?

Maybe, she’s angry with me? Did I hurt her in any way? Oh, fuck. I’m such a bitch.

Now, she’s angry with me and hiding in some corner cursing me out.

I have to bring her back.

So, he calls anyone in connection with Y/N in hopes that she’s with anyone of them and when there were, “no mate --- maybe check in the washroom...” and “last time she texted, said she’s going out to take pictures.”

Harry’s face pales at that. Sick to his stomach. His fists tighten by his sides to keep his calm the world around him spins for a moment and he stables himself with the nearby railing.

Bad thoughts spirals in his mind, how much he avoids them it frightens him like his worst enemy.

What if she’s hurt? It hurts him in heart even to think that.

Got into an accident and they took her?

Fuck.

What if some mafia has kidnapped her.

Obviously, Italy is famous for mafias ..... No!No!No! Harry shut up, shut up, shut uppppp!!

He screams internally to pause everything and think rationally.

He searches for her everywhere. In every street. His feet hurting until now and he chokes onto a sob, not even wanting to think of getting police involved and still not able to have her back.

He shouts for her name. Halting past anyone looking like her, that mini dress she flaunted infront of him with a gorgeous smile –-- asked him how it looked on her and he wasn’t very interested to give a response.

If he could take all of it back and praised her like his life depended on it, only if he’d told her how much he loves her, her making sure he’s comfortable in his cubby, her bringing cold milk drinks for him, dividing her oreos with him.

His hands shakes by his side, his lip twitching constantly and his legs trembles pathetically with each step he takes.

He stops. Narrows his eyes to squint through the darkness and he feels like someone blew oxygen back in his lungs, his knees weakening at the sight of some girl sitting on the bench, her shoulders slump and her head downwards as she clutches the edge of bench, rocking on it with quite sniffles.

He prays that it’s her.

Upon, hearing the footsteps Y/N looks up and those sweet eyes are enough for him to recognize her in between many people.

“Harry?” Her voice feeble and scared.

“Oh baby .....” He mumbles. Rushing towards her, stumbling back a bit when she flies in his arms and latches to him like the missing piece of her body.

His palms curves into her ribs, her face smashed into the crook of her neck – her tears wetting his skin instantly and his cheek squished atop her sweaty hair, he hugs her for dear life making her legs dangle in the air, she sobs nuzzling deeper into his throat and he caresses her shoulders to soothe her cries down. Kisses the side of her temple with tender affection and sighs in relief.

“Shhh. Shh baby, ‘s okay. I’ve found y’now ..... ‘m here sweetheart ‘s alright.” He doesn’t stop splodging soft pecks to her forehead – scared that if he’ll she’ll get lost from his arms again.

Her hiccups painful not letting her take a breather and Harry puts her down on her feet gently, taking her face in his clammy hands and hooks his thumb into her hair gazing into her glassy eyes intensely, “Hey look at me lovie’ just .. focus on me alright?” She nods at his plea grabbing his wrists and follows his breathing pattern.

He glances back at the bench and goes to grab her camera but she cries out fisting the hem of his corduroy shirt in her tiny hands, “No!” could barely choke out from her dry throat and he turns his attention back down onto her, strokes the rosy apple of her cheeks and pets her head.

“Not leavin’ yer side baby .. was bout to get your camera fo’ you. Could come with me if you don’t like stayin' away.” He assures her softly and trots towards the bench with his arms still around her as she keeps on hiding her face into his bicep.

They walk down the street like that, she has calmed down letting a sniffle slip here and there --- this kind of scenario has never happened to her before – she has never been outside of her home city before too.

He feels her tummy screech for food so asks her, chin butted atop her head, “You’re hungry, petal. Let’s get pizza.” She doesn’t feel like eating though. When she shakes her head – squeezing him more. He takes her from shoulders looking down at her with gentleness and brushes a strand of hair behind.

“Just a tad, darlin'. I know a delicious take away round the corner ... could eat it sittin' by shore.” He offers her with a smile and punches the air happily, whistling when she agrees.

When she giggles softly, defrosting back from numbness Harry spins them a little overly gleeful.

“Got me sweet girl back.” He exclaims ducking down to kiss her cheek and now when she’s less wobblish, her lungs fills with bunches of butterflies.

Blush splatters on her features. As Harry aligns his tanned arm with her delicate one and locks their fingers together lulling it backs and forth between them lovingly.

He keeps her tucked under his chin and snuggled in his arms all the time, even while waiting in the line for the take away.

“Ow!” Squeaks, “Ow. Ow.” Jumps on his tippy toes upon balancing the hot pizza on his palm.

Grins like a mad man when succeeds in making her laugh, takes her hand and helps her climb down slippery stones.

Goosebumps arises on her skin from shyness when he coils his strong arm around her to pick her up, with pizza in his other hand and giggles breathily in her ear upon hearing her squeals.

She sits in between his knees. Leans against his chest and inhales his woodsy vanilla scent, nibbles onto the crust while hearing his heartbeat.

“You scared the living hell out of me, lovie’ ... thought —-... thought I’d never be able to have you back again ... proper vanished.” He croaks out. Runs his nose up and down the sweet curve of her neck.

“Made me realise ... that I don’t want to be away from you, ever.” Y/n's breath hitches at that and she turns in his embrace. Looks at him with surprised doe eyes and coos when his eyes gloss over with wetness, that he’s forcing to keep at waterline.

“I really like you, Y/N.”

“You do?” She gasps.

He bobs his head giddily, “Can you picture it? You and I together?” He murmurs mellow street light dancing between them.

“’Us'? I like the sound of that....” She smiles searching for his hand and he grasps it eagerly like he was yearning for it.

“Kay then, when could I take you on a date?” He grins. Dimples mauving deep and pretty.

“This isn’t a date?”

“We’re in Italy. The sky's so romantic and I’ve got you, seems like a date to me....” She peppers kisses to each rosy gap of his knuckles and his inside bursts like they never did before.

“Kay then. It’s memorable too, you got lost on our first day –--”

“Harryyyy....” She whines nudging him in belly with her elbow. “’Kay we could change that.” He laughs. Showering her in kisses and her laughs whirls loudly into quite air, trying to squirm away from his tickles.

[silver-lily-louise]

So I’m currently watching Episode 85, ‘A Bard’s Lament’

and HOO BOY. I have a LOT to say about that whole mega-scene with Scanlan waking up and his departure, and this is far too long for a YouTube comment, so here we go. Okay, Part One: Scanlan’s arguments, and how most of them don’t make sense, but I understand entirely where he’s coming from.

Firstly: he’s angry that Kaylie was there. Sure, it makes sense that he didn’t want to upset her, or (more honestly) show himself as weak – but VM weren’t to know he didn’t want her there, and it’s generally the best idea to inform people of that shit ASAP, because finding out later is the WORST. Also, they thought she’d play an important part in the ritual - WHICH SHE DID. Plus, ‘I’d rather she never know’? That’s rarely a good idea, which is why it’s the source of god knows how much TV drama. The other person always, ALWAYS finds out. Surely a deception like that would breed even further mistrust between Scanlan and Kaylie down the line? Also, Percy is kind of a dick when making his argument and I’ll get to that, but he is also kind of right – Scanlan does idealise ‘what could be’ when it comes to his daughter, alternately jumping too far ahead and not doing enough, rather than working on what IS. Fair enough, he’s new at this, but that doesn’t mean he’s right.

Scanlan then goes on a ‘You don’t care about me’ trip – which is a classic, classic sign of someone going through a very bad time. ‘You only like me for the jokes and the mansion etc.’? That’s like saying they only like Keyleth for the transport, or Pike for the resurrections, or Vax for his sneakiness. People valuing your niche, your talents, doesn’t mean they don’t also care about you.

Next, there’s his anger at everyone else having a ‘personal quest’, and his misrepresentation of it being because they care about each other more than him. But if we examine those quests, a very different story appears. 1) Going to get Pike’s armour? Yeah, they did that - to help defeat the Conclave. 2) The Briarwoods? That quest started because of Percy’s need for vengeance, sure – but then it grew to more than that. They ended up saving both Whitestone and Emon (and countless future targets) from some seriously evil people. Before the Conclave, Vax was questioning what the point of VM was, but ‘standing against evil’ is a pretty good start. 3) They fought goliaths “for Grog”? No, not really. That’s not even half the story. They went to gather intel, save Westruun, and defeat Umbrasyl. The goliaths were a coincidence, a problem that arose and that they then dealt with. It would have been the same had anyone else but the Herd taken Westruun. 4) They travelled to the Feywild to ‘fix your fucking daddy issues?’ Again, NO! Fucking hell, what a twisted view of things! They went to the Feywild for a VESTIGE, a powerful weapon to defeat the dragons. Then they went to Syngorn to recruit a fucking army. The twins would rather not have had to see their father at all, and they made that perfectly clear.

Then comes the bitterness that ‘you don’t know anything about me’. That isn’t totally false, but it isn’t totally on them, either. Vax is right, he did ask about his age �� several times, if I remember correctly. And as Vex asks later in the argument: ‘How many times have we asked you if you’re all right and you just laugh and joke?’ Not a kindly made point, again, but a realistic one. He IS kind of springing all this bitterness on them, after being a very deliberately closed book on the subjects of both his wellbeing and his past. Furthermore, I don’t see Vax bringing up Thordak to counter this point as a self-centred move – he’s just using his own experience to point out a logical flaw in Scanlan’s argument. Not knowing each other’s pasts is the norm for VM. Personal history has NEVER been a part of their bond, unless someone wants to talk, and then they will be listened to – Vax brings up the sewer example. More could have been done on both sides, sure. But VM not knowing Scanlan’s personal details – or that he was struggling so – is not because they don’t give a shit. That’s Scanlan’s emotional state talking.

Next up, a good ol’ fashioned piece of cognitive dissonance: ‘You aren’t involved with me as a person’ versus ‘Don’t meddle in my affairs’. Granted, that latter could be interpreted as ‘because you don’t know what you’re doing’, but it still seems a bit contradictory of Scanlan to accuse them of not caring about his personal life, and then berate them for involving themselves in the part they do know about when they deemed it necessary. (And it’s not like they could have asked his permission or opinion on whether they should stick their nose in before contacting Kaylie. He was dead.)

Scanlan then essentially tells them ‘You wouldn’t manhandle me if you respected me’. Fair enough – if you’re not okay with that happening to you, tell them. Real simple: ‘Hey, guys, don’t pick me up like that. It makes me super uncomfortable.’ Everyone has the right to set their own boundaries, but you’ve got to remember that the people around you aren’t mind readers. The ‘baseball’ comment is true; VM manhandle each other all the time, explicitly-consensually and not, and no-one’s had a problem with that before. If Scanlan wanted to change that, that’s on him to say. (But of course he didn’t, because I suspect he’s not really annoyed about it – or if he is, not nearly as much as he appears to be during this argument. He’s lashing out, and everything is ammunition to him in the heat of the moment.)

The final point I’d like to counter is when Scanlan devolves from ‘You only like me for my power’ to ‘I’m not powerful, I’m not cut out for this’. He’s flip-flopping like crazy, which just shows his damaged mental state. At this point, VM are clearly struggling to keep up. They’re trying to give him what he needs, so they do now try to incorporate ‘You’re valuable to us’ into their statements. Vax points out how much Scanlan’s done for him – both emotionally and in terms of survival – while Keyleth even brings his ‘I’m only a joker’ put-down back in as perhaps his greatest advantage. The problem is, those two arguments contradict this point of ‘I’m useless to you guys’, but seem to confirm his earlier one of ‘You only like me because I’m useful’! They can’t win, because Scanlan isn’t arguing with facts and logic anymore. He’s arguing purely with fear, and hurt, and anger, and the desire to pick a fight – which is why I personally find myself understanding where his arguments are coming from, but disagreeing with almost every one.

And so on to Part Two: How VM show, through this exchange, that they do care for Scanlan, and how their mistakes play into that.

Immediately after he wakes up and gets upset, they try to reassure him about Kaylie – saying that she won’t think less of him, pointing out his heroism, reminding him that she’s stuck around to look after him. Later, even after heated discussion, they try to advise him on how to proceed; they tell him that he hasn’t ruined his chance with her, but needs to change his tack and ‘Talk to her.’ I’m not cynical enough to see this as ‘interfering’ or ‘continuing to think they know best’. This is the way I see it: despite the argument, Scanlan is their friend, and he’s worried about something, so they want to help him deal with that.

Now, about the pudding thing: fair enough, that was in bad taste. I won’t deny that. They were relieved, drunk and happy, and so tried to make a joke – but he’d had a traumatic experience, and they should have known better. (A mentally healthier Scanlan probably would have laughed it off, swearing revenge.) It was poorly timed, yes – they seriously misjudged how Scanlan’s mental state would be – but it was not malicious in its intent. The execution was terrible, but I think in its intent, this was identical to any number of pranks VM play on each other.

After being accused of not caring about him, VM try to prove they do care. Vax tries to find the most genuine connection to Scanlan he has, something beyond the practical, and says ‘I’ve changed my outlook on life because of you!’ Again, I think it’s overly cynical to call this a selfish argument – he’s trying to highlight Scanlan’s importance, not his usefulness.  Vex directly asks ‘What do you want us to do [to prove we care]?’, which is a good question. Then, after Grog asks about Juniper, she asks about Vicou. It comes off slightly ‘too little too late’, of course – but for gods’ sakes, they’re clearly trying to give Scanlan proof of their care. (Albeit in a slightly panicked, ‘don’t know what to do now’ way – but if they didn’t care, they certainly wouldn’t be scrambling around like that to prove that they do.)

Nearer the end of the scene, Vax tells Scanlan to go with Kaylie if he wants – but not to lie to himself while he’s doing it. And though it’s still aggressive and accusatory, like the rest of the conversation, that’s actually a good thing to want for your friend. His point boils down to ‘Do what you want, do what’s right for you – but do it for good reasons, and certainly not because you’re putting yourself down.’ Scanlan’s not there yet (‘I’m a really good liar’), but I do think that Vax’s good intention here gets through – hence the ‘give me time’ comment.

And that brings us nicely to Part Three: How the characters react to each other during this argument, and what that might suggest about each of their personalities and their mental states.

Firstly, going off of Scanlan’s ‘give me time’ comment: I think time is probably exactly what he needs. Everything becomes calmer when he starts talking about what he plans to do – I think that once he has an out, he’s no longer mentally surrounded by the emotions that fuelled the majority of this argument, and so the people left in the room are able to speak more civilly. They’re able to express care without it turning into anger again, and say a slightly better goodbye.

But before that, of course, there’s Percy. Percy handles this in his own realistic, big-picture-thinking way – even through his obvious anger and frustration. An important part of his speech to Scanlan is essentially this sentiment: ‘Yeah, alright, you’re shit. Who cares? We want you around anyway, and Kaylie probably will too.’ It doesn’t work, because that’s not what Scanlan needs to hear at that moment. But I get why Percy said it – I think that this is exactly the sort of ‘Get over it’ sentiment that would pull him through moments of self-doubt. It’s why there’s a strange dissonance when he tries to show Kaylie affection afterwards; if you take Percy’s words as an attack, you’re left asking, ‘What are you doing, trying to hug Kaylie after saying that?’ But looking at it from his perspective, I almost think that this sort of ‘brutal honesty about your flaws’ is the most loving Percy knows how to be – because he’s better than most at viewing the whole of a person/place/situation, instead of idealising them by focusing only on their good side. It’s why he was totally comfortable with Vax not trusting him, but still being friends/brothers (while most people would say those relationships are based on trust). It’s why he says ‘I hate you’ to Cassandra, entirely comfortable in the darker side of sibling rivalry, while the twins – despite their bickering – say ‘I love you’. To Percy, this sort of interaction doesn’t translate to ‘You’re awful, and in this moment of annoyance/anger I don’t know why I bother with you.’ It’s more like, ‘You’re awful, and I’m awful too, which goes to show how much we care about each other because we’re both still sticking around despite our many, many flaws.’

Lastly, there’s the ‘takeaways’ that each of the other characters – but primarily the half-elves – get from this argument. Keyleth latches onto the idea of people needing space sometimes, of separate journeys needing to be taken. That makes sense, given that the Aramente’s clearly on her mind now the Conclave has fallen. Whereas Pike clearly fears further separation, seeking reassurance that the rest of them can stay together (which Vax gives her). To me, this reflects her sadness at already missing so much of VM travelling together – now she’s back with them, she doesn’t want to lose them again.

Then there’s Vax’s reaction. After Scanlan leaves, there’s a sense of desperation – he starts sharing his feelings and fears in a way that definitely seems like he’s going ‘Please, let’s never have this happen again.’ But the situation is still too raw for anyone to be making decent judgements about what to do next, and so he almost makes the same mistake immediately, by urging Vex to share as well. He’s forgetting, again, that not everyone needs the same things, and that what he finds helpful in the moment others won’t – which is exactly the kind of misjudgement they’ve pretty much all just made with Scanlan. It’s a hard line to walk, because ‘treat others how you want to be treated’ is usually good advice – so when that approach goes south, it’s hard to fix, and you can end up digging a pretty deep hole. That’s the part of the argument that clearly stood out clearest to Vex, and so when faced with further uncomfortable conversation, she removes herself from the situation by leaving the room.

Before the summary, a BONUS -  Part Four: Grog the philosopher, a wasted opportunity.

Grog’s ‘We did have selfish intentions’ point is interesting, largely because it doesn’t fit with almost anything else here. In an argument that’s mostly between ‘You don’t care, you’re selfish’ and ‘Yes we do care,’ Grog points out that the genuine care they have is almost as selfish as if they brought Scanlan back just for his mansion and jokes, as he practically claims they did. In a way, Grog’s hit upon a complex philosophical conundrum: ‘Do we care for people because we care for them, or just because we care about the emotional power they have over us? How much of grief is about sadness for them, and how much is sadness for us?’ Essentially, this is a more specific version of the grand old debate: ‘Can we ever be truly altruistic, or are we always motivated by what makes us feel good?’

Grog’s point doesn’t just have the potential to spark philosophical crises in the audience, however – it also might be the best reaction possible to Scanlan’s outburst. He acknowledges Scanlan’s feelings, and apologises for what mistakes they HAVE made with regards to their bard (which are existent, if not as numerous as Scanlan is claiming). Unfortunately, everyone else – including Scanlan himself – is caught up in emotional responses by that point, arguing mostly about things that wouldn’t even be issues (like the manhandling, or other peoples’ ‘personal quests’) were it not for the bad feelings already flying around. By the time Grog asks about Juniper, the situation is more of an emotional fistfight than a debate, and it’s a damn shame that Grog’s social/emotional clarity in this moment goes to waste just because it doesn’t fit into the pattern of argument the other six are already embroiled in.

So, to summarise:

Scanlan is clearly going through a very rough time, and his feelings are valid, but often his logic is not. Given that he was hurting, he should have been handled with a bit more empathy here, I think, but VM’s less-than-ideal reactions are also understandable. They didn’t handle the revelation of Scanlan’s misery admirably, but it was realistic – it’s very, very common for a conversation you’re ultimately having because you care about someone (else you wouldn’t BOTHER) to devolve into an argument. Sometimes, when emotions are running high, it feels a little uncontrollable, and you wind up thinking ‘how did we get here?’ (Or, as Vex said: ‘Well, that didn’t go like I thought it would.’) This theme is continued with Grog and Percy joking about sending guards after Scanlan – that moment is a nice metaphor for the whole discussion, I think, symbolising that an argument with someone you love is rarely a question of whether you still care; more often than not, it’s a battle between two different ideas of HOW that care can/should be expressed.

This show is consistently excellent in portraying complex situations where no-one’s totally right or wrong. (And the characters seem to know that things aren’t black and white, too: ‘Fuck him for not saying anything sooner! And fuck us for not asking.’ There’s blame on both sides, and Vex shows here that she understands that.) It’s easy to portray conflict when characters have differing intentions/motivations – but situations like this? Where everyone essentially wants the same good thing (i.e. caring about each other), but it still gets complicated and argumentative, and no-one comes across as a total idiot whose viewpoint makes no fucking sense? Well, this was a particularly well-done – albeit heartbreaking – example of this show presenting that kind of situation brilliantly.

Eighty-five episodes in, Vox Machina continue true to form: strangely competent at saving the world, but absolute experts in doing the wrong things for the right reasons. And damn, is it compelling.