#//she's a peen xd

[cookie-crumblr]

can you write a Dezrend x fem shapeshifter unicorn! Reader where reader is in their unicorn form and is frolicking around a field then Dezrend finds reader, noncons, then over stims reader until reader is dumbed out and enjoys it?

Oh fuck YESS OMFG

MINORS DNI!

F!Unicorm Reader x M!Dragon OC!

CW: F!reader, reader has a vagina, reader referred to as she/her, reader and oc are shaeshifters basically furry?(they’re like legit animals i never know how to tag this XD), ML has 3 peens, inhuman anatomy, NON-CON, dumbification, monster fucking but they’re in humanoid form eventually, massive size difference and kink, stomach bulge, p in v, p in b, dacryphilia, cervix fucking, furry?(we are a unicorn fucking a dragon LOL), also idk if horses have clits i don’t really wanna know tbh so please don’t correct me if not XD we are a unicorn so just pretend, reader has long hair, cumflation, creampie,

Your beautiful mane flows around you as you canter through a field of little round white flowers, in a deep green forest clearing. You felt safe concealed by a deep fog. The flowers stalks tickle your strong legs as you hop over them. You giggle and prance, stopping only to roll onto your back in them for a minute. When you look up and see a dark and terribly massive dragon’s shadow flying overhead.

You flip back onto your powerful hooves as fast as you can, but when you look back, you watch as the dragons slit pupils meet yours through a break in the ground clouds in a snap. It’s too late, it’s already aware of you.

You’re frozen, staring into those black slits as they get closer swiftly crashing onto land before you. The dragon’s wind blows all of the flowers over, clears the fog, and its gargantuan body crushes a portion of the field beneath it. It’s hands and feet crush more as it approaches you.

Frighteningly, the ground shakes with each step, and so do your legs.

A scaley, taloned finger as big as your body meets your chin and tilts your face up, you’re snorting in fear and you finally regain some mobility shifting weight from hoofed leg to hoofed leg. Wind kicks up around you and the field as the mighty creature shrinks itself to only just bigger than you.

You don’t mean to but you look in between it’s legs (which to your credit, is just slightly below your eye level), there are three very gigantic, weeping cocks hanging down.

Your eyes widen in even more horror and you fall onto your equine ass trying to back up to get away. You roll over and try to run, but your hooves slip against the morningdew-damp foliage and pull at the roots, tripping you more and not letting you stand. You thought you would get eaten! Not that!!

youre prone and exposed for him, and he takes advantage, pouncing on you in an instant. Your panic swells, the blood pounding in your ears, you buck wildly.

You feel the things slither between your legs. They’re wet and they rub you down your slit as he mounts you. Two tips pierce your entrances, and it is already the worst pain you’ve ever experienced, you winnie, air puffing out of your nostrils in little clouds, and your front hooves are desperately try to pull yourself up, trying to get you away.

“Little Unicorn, legendary, but so weak.” He pushes all the way in, you feel your vagina stretch to accommodate his size, and your stomach bulges onto the ground beneath your laying form. You can’t breath! You’re so absolutely stuffed you can’t get air, and your head spins. You see the blue sky blackening.

His third hefty and hot cock slithers over your stuffed cunt, rubbing you deliciously with a mind of its own. It thickly heats up your entire being with every minuscule movement of the dragon adjusting.

You feel like you might pass out, breathing in and in and in but getting no air, until you feel a sudden tearing on your left flank and winnie louder, now able to breathe once more.

The pain is sharp, searing even. You turn your head enough to see that his talons have raked into your previously unmarred flesh. Fat tears fall down your gorgeous snout. You’ll have those scars for the rest of your life, however short that may be now.

“Hah! Cry, little legend!” His hips thrust, forcing his dicks deeper inside you, they stretch your gummy walls and feel as though they’re tearing you apart. His heavy dragon balls slap underneath you and amplify these stirring hot feelings in your core. A wailing moan leaves you as your body starts to accept him.

Two front hooves dig into the dirt, the flowers around you bend this way and that peacefully in the breezes as they ignore your peril. Your back hooves are practically crushed beneath the weight of this creature. He starts to slide in and out of you, picking up more speed as he does.

His hips buck into your rear, and his dicks feel as tho they’re tearing you apart inside, while his third pleasures you beyond imagine. your tongue lolls to one side as the surmounting pleasure builds. it slides putting more pressure onto the outside it feels like it’s specifically searching for your clit.

His sharp talons wrap around your neck and squeeze without puncturing your skin there, he pulls your neck and makes your back arch, his dicks plunge even deeper as your body takes him easier and easier. Soon The pleasure is all you feel, the pain not even a memory any longer in your now dumbing head.

He turns you and him at the same time into humans, he seems to have kept his three separate dicks, as your holes remained stuffed.

Your hair in human form is long and unkempt, you’ve never chosen to be in this body. Being a unicorn is just so much better.

A voice falls from your now plush little lips, and your practically hairless skin glistens and sparkles in the sun. Nails and knees dig into the soil beneath you, as your ass is up as high as it will go for the dragon in man form behind you, connected to you by the thick slithering members still penetrating you.

“Ah!!~” Crying out, you can’t help but want more at this point! Your coil is twisting and burning and building and making you beyond dizzy, you need it to snap! “Please! M-more!”

“Hah! Good little unicorn, taking me so well, you even like it now, huh?”

“Mhm!” You practically slur, you feel light headed and stupid you’re getting so fucked out, your body having been taken well beyond its limits, but you’re in bliss. If he kills you, it might be just the perfect end… But you’re only concerned with the right here and now. And right here and now, you’ve got one dick in your intestines and one curled up inside your cervix, and the last cupping your burning sex.

You push your body back into him, trying to take more and more! Your ass fits into his hips like a heavenly puzzle piece, you chase your own high. he squeezes your throat harder, definitely leaving a bruise, you choke out drunken moans, enjoying the stars in your vision as they blip in and out of your fading vision. He lets up enough for you to remain conscious, but keeps you in that sweet spot between dimensions.

The cocks inside of you pulse and grow, and your walls contract at just the right time, he bloats your stomach full of his dragon seed. You’ve finished in a blinding flash, and clarity hits you. His cocks are still inside you.

[bridgertonopinions]

https://www.instagram.com/reel/C7TtHCtIlhA/?igsh=Z3J5NHRjZDQyYmt2

Saw that and thought of your posts xD

This takes me out like LUKE

Back up she’s not going anywhere

Your peen don’t need to be on her booty like that

[teawiththegods]

Hey, this is super random, but do you mind if I ask how Apollon and Artemis present to you? By that, I mean what do They look like to you? I just find it super interesting to hear of people's experiences and how they see/view the Gods to look physically. It's ok if you're uncomfortable sharing this; I was just curious! ☺️

I hope you're doing well and taking good care of yourself! You're awesome! ❤️

Hello, Bunny!! <3

So Artemis and Apollo actually change their look a lot but typically Artemis is a brunette either with a long braid or her hair cut short. Sometimes she's in her traditional clothes and other times she looks like a grunge girl. She always has her bow and quiver and a knife that she likes to eat her fruit with.

Apollo is a blonde and his hair is always in some kind of fancy intricate style. Typically its the famous hairbow because as he said to Eris recently "Jessie likes it". As for clothes he used to be pretty naked but now that we're at the library he's been wearing modern clothes and he usually has a book or tablet with him. Guess he felt it inappropriate and too distracting for me if he had his peen out. xD Tho even in the modern clothes he's distracting because he's too fine regardless!

[jaynovz]

I watched BS 1.7 and 1.8 with a friend last night (her first watch, my uhhh idk 6th?) and I was very pleased at the commentary:

"Okay I'm glad Gates is finally challenging Flint, he was simping hard for awhile there but this dude is an asshole" (pffffttt)

Looks like Flint is gonna kiss Eleanor "noooo I don't like thissss" he smooches her forehead "ok. That's slightly better"

"I'm glad things are going better for Max, she's my favorite" (valid)

About Flint's curled moustache "omg stop it looks so Weird. That is not working for you" (I disagree! I love that sassy little mustache :P)

Flint kills Gates "my dude my guy you have fucked up. That was a horrible mistake. Oop and he knows it too, yikes" (always love when ppl are as open mouth shocked as I was)

Then Silver walks in "of course it's THAT GUY"

"yep we stan Randall in this house"

"you ever notice how like vulnerable peens look just hanging there" (this is about Vane XD)

"these boat battles are not fun and campy like in POTC huh? They're TERRIFYING" (yeah it's stressful)

Flint lets himself sink "oh okay then. He's like 'I have decided to perish. I have elected to pass away' "

Flint wakes up on the beach grumpy that he's still alive "excuse me I had DECIDED TO PERISH"

And my favorite, at the very end: "Silver has really been in Flint's corner constantly huh? That's interesting" (ISN'T IT THOUGH)

[lizzyscribbledoodles]

Tag 9 people that you’d like to get to know better / catch up with! I was tagged by ❤ @masks-n-steel ❤ Last song: Tove Lo: Buzz Buzz Hop hop.  I found this song coz I love the singer, this is REALLY different and ur, ‘tamer’ than the usual stuff she does but its really cute and relaxing??? Love putting this on while I lay on the floor with my bunnies -w-~ Last movie: Only time I ever properly sit down for a movie is when me and @pepper-peen-queen are streaming it through discord for each other! Last thing we watched was ‘Never hike in the snow’ Which is an incredible fan film for the friday the 13th franchise! But the last actual movie we watched was ‘The Blob’. Me and my bud like watching these kinda horrors from time to time! Just fun with some nice practical effects! Currently watching: Any random oney plays, it’s good background noise!  Currently reading: I don’t actually read novels! Unfortunately and I’m so jealous of people for being able to get invested in something like that! but no surprise- i’m a visual person so what I DO read are comics and the last one I read was ‘Yooka-laylee and the kracklestone’ I backed the comic on kick starter a while ago, it’s a really cute comic and the art work and panel placement is really good! Currently craving: Atm? nothing really I just had dinner that had allot of cheese and then had some sweets after so I’m not really craving anything 8p. I could probably use a nice cup of tea tho to settle my stomach after eating all the crap XD! Okay so most people I know have moved off from tumblr but I’ll try and tag as many people as i can think of...: @tunacasserolequeen @pepper-peen-queen @yesiscandyskiller @notllorstel @stabbymyers

[moonswayed]

K and L for Elora

1 of their pet peeves.

When people assume she's completely naive about things of a sexual or bodily nature. For example: Assuming she's never seen another naked body. She has. She's seen a lot of peen and vag on her life, okay? XD It was just never seen in a sexual light. And she knows what sex is and knows the basic mechanics, but has never done it herself.

Their favorite type of weather.

Elora has two favorites. #1. Winter wonderland. #2 The first days of Spring, when all the animals and plants are waking from hibernation.

[doodlewyvern]

I am not too happy with this, but I drew the sketch for it weeks ago and did nothing with it until I started to do more traditional works so I decided to color it in.

Yehkshir have been know to eat their prey after mating, but tecnoloxia takes it to a whole new level... she is such a glutton sometimes. XD

Once a subject no longer be of use to her “scientific endeavors “, she will eat them and sometimes A LOT of her subjects lose their value to her.

TECNOLOXIA/ART - ME

YEHKSHIR/KUROS - @pepper-peen-queen @weirdlanders

[levynite]

tienriu replied to your post: In which it is Seventh Month, and chat considers...

Levy just so you know I am telling my mother about this so she can mutter about our generation and then laugh with it with all her old cronies. I mean who do we think invented origami peens right. Oh god.

listen if a fictional character is very much the type to do shit like this....imma run with this plunny

XD

[imagine-the-absolute-beard-quest]

10th December 2017 • 24 weeks on Testosterone •

So again I missed a week out! Apologies but here is my next update!

Updates:

• I've been told my facial shape changed a lot it's much more square.

• I haven't got much facial hair that's obvious but I can feel more are sprouting that are darker and not blonde. I will try find a way to show it with my camera quality I do find it hard to capture it when taking the picture myself lol

• my voice is lower again after it had gone higher and its at a stage I'm comfortable with again :) (I will post a voice update today)

• I'm not noticing considerable amounts of body hair growth i.e stomach, hands, arms. But it is happening as I can see only slight changes to the hairyness of my hands and arms xD

• I have noticed I am getting small amounts and blonde/dark hairs coming through on my chest a bit but not much. I'm not sure how I feel about it as I haven't had top surgery yet but it's not too much that it's obvious so I guess for now I'm not too fazed by it.

• my spots are definitely a thing now so I've found a tea-tree daily facial scrub and it seems to be helping!

• body heat! I now understand the considerable amounts of body heat that fellow guys on T endure and its ridiculous I'm at work most days with the fan on when I've got triage nurses in jumpers and scarves!

• my weight still hasn't changed at all even after my dosage has been changed and I still eat enough in a day to feed a family of 4 xD I'm constantly hungry and have constant cravings for chocolate and biscuits

• I haven't had my blood test results back but when I rang up she did mention my peak was 27 I think? I think it was the peak level she told me anyway and I know it was the one that's supposed to be between 25-30 I think? A lot of guessing here but I will double check and get proper confirmation when I get the results back in a letter.

• finally last update of today..T-peen..the nether regions. The southern side..basically My bottom growth has grown considerable size that it is now noticeable to me more than before and its uncomfortable when sitting and walking! At least 1.5-2 inches in growth..

Anyways that's all the updates I have for today!

Have a picture of the view I woke up to which isn't often in the UK! And a picture of me exhausted at work lol.

[a-redharlequin]

Episode 73

I missed it live but finally watching it on twitch! Here's my blogging as I watch:

Brian, oh gods XD please get back in the bag

YOU GORGEOUS GOTHS (please come to Arkansas qAq)

SAM I LOVE YOU YOU MAGNIFICENT-WHAT-THE-FUCK <3

THAT DND BEYOND FJORD ROAST XD

Critical ROLL Critical ROLL Critical ROLL -bounces in bed to song- (edit: I saw the video of the crowd singing along just like me AND SO MUCH VINDICATION AND VALIDATION YES)

-cheers with the crowd-

-whispers- Uko'toa

Nott doesn't like Fjord's accent XD or she's just fucking with him (highly probable)

Caleb: "as the former weakest person" XDDD

Nott-pocket~ Delicious

LADIES AND CADUSEUS XD THE ONLY TWO GENDERS THAT MATTER

O.o that poor wolf

FJORD IS SO SCARED XD

BABY WORM (better hide it from Nott) AND MAMA WORM

Immune to cold AND fire damage SHIAT

"Welcome to d&d" XD

Run wolf run! Smartest creature of the campaign indeed XD

"It was a good book!" TOO SOON SAM

A WOOLY MAMOTH YAS I LOVE YOU CALEB

-much flailing- I LOVE YOUR DRAMATICS ART DAD LIAM

NOTT, RUN UP ITS BODY!

FUCK FUCK DON'T RUN DX

MATT STOP ROLLING SO WELL QAQ IM HAPPY FOR YOU BUT AAAAHHHHHH

MAMMOTH MAMMOTH MAMMOTH

TRAVIS "BURY SAM" XD RUN SAM

48 PIERCING WTF SHIIIIIT

BEAU IS UNCONS- OH NOREGARD REALLY SAM XD

OH SGUT OH SHIT OH SJIT IT WENT UNDERGROUND NOOOOOOOOOOO BEAAAAAU

LIAM GOOD ELEPHANT NOISE NOW LAURA KICK SOME ASS

YES FUCK IT UP LAURA

YASSSSS

"FUCK OT IM A MAMMOTH I DON'T CARE" YASSSSSS DICE MAMA

LAURA GOT FIRST HYWTDT OF THE EPISODE YASSSSS TUSK LOVE BABY

"Caleb make my noise for me"

YASSSS

WHIP IT FJORD WHIP IT GOOD

"LET GO OF THE BIKE" XD

TREMORS AAAHHHHH

YAS CALEB, PAW FJORD (take that as you will)

YESSS HOLD ON FJORD

AVANTIKA THROW BACK XD

YASSSS GOOD JOB CALEB, KITTY GET THAT MONSTER

SMART NOTT, YES, SPIT BEAU OUT

53 AND 10 DAMAGE SHIIIIIIT CAAAAD QAQ

X'D In which Laura is once again denied her moment of glory because of her pesky clerical duties

GIT IT WITH YOUR BOSTAFFS, BEAU!

NOW RUN BEAU RUN

"I'm torn" BAD CHOICE OF WORDS

TURN INVISIBLE? XD SURE

SAM NO IT'S IMMUNE TO FIRE DAMAGE

"Are you alive" "you dont know" COLD TAL XD but deserved

GO FJORD FUCK UKO'TOA YOU STRONG BAE

GO AND SHINE JESTER, GUIDING BOLTS UP THE BUTT

YAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSSSSS

JESTER IS A BEEEEEEAST

"GET YOU A WOMAN WHO CAN DO BOTH" DAMN RIGHT ART DAD

GET HIM OUT FJORD :'O

XD CONCUSSED BEAU

"Nah that doesn't sound like me" XD

Make it easier to pass a deuce XD

Cat's paw: the worst rectal examine XD

LAURAAAA "yeah, do some good damage to that muscular tunnel~" I LOVE YOU

OOOOOOOO Travisass XD

SAVE THEM DICE MAMA <3

CALL THE BIG WIFE XD

FJORD TUFF, HE GOT THE TORQUE

YEZA, COME COLLECT YOUR WIFE

XD cat buries the evidence in the icy litterbox

Caleb the only one without a scratch XDDD

43 STEALTH FUCK YES NOTT, he just DISAPPEARS AND SAVES BEAU'S ASS

THAT'S RIGHT FJORD LEAD THE GROUP, NO FEAR (the badass ladies flanking him certainly doesn't hurt)

NOTT-POCKET

YASSS GOOD STEALTH ROLLS

YES A CLIMB OFF GO BEAU, GO NOTT

Oh Gods XD She tripped Nott

OOOOOOH HAIR PULLING

BEAU CONTINUES

A FIRECRACKER BEAU?! REALLY?

A NAT 20 FOR A FIRECRACKER?!?! X'D

NOTT NO, NO GUN XD PLS NOTT

AH SHIT IT HITS

IN THE ASS XD

"WITH MY GUN!" "THE ONE YOU HAVE ONE SHOT FOR?" "IT'S WORTH IT"

I LOVE MY CRAZY BITCHES <3 <3 <3

14 POINTS OF BULLET DAMAGE RIGHT IN THE ASS XD

NOTT-POCKET <3

BEAU STILL WINS, WHAT AN ICON

"IT WAS A FAIR RACE"

The old handshake and drop from a tree XD

LOTSA WOLVES XD the crowd is full of good doggos

O.O WEREWOLVES?

"Either they're friendly or have terrible aim. Either way I think we're good" Cade I love you XD

NAT 20 TO SCARE SOME FUCKING GOATS XD

Ah the gazebo, the final boss XD

GASP! DWAELVES! Elvarfs? I dunno but YAY

"Crickets, interesting, not what I wanted"

SAM NOT THAT SONG NO XD

NOTT, YOU DID GREAT PLS DONT STEAL FROM THEM XD poor Cade

HOT BOI HOT BOI HOT BOI HOT BOI

XDDD JESTER, MATT WHY

AND NOW I WANT TO KNOW IF ESSEK FLOATS ON THE TOILET DAMNIT

XD nature check on breakfast, I love Cad so much "somebody's gotta eat the parsley man"

Jester could go to the Underdark and find a bakery XD

Interesting cupcakes o.o

A BALL PEEN HAMMER XD NOOOO JESTER NOOOOO

SIGN LANGUAGE IN CANON NOOOICE

OOOUCHHH poor Travis XD smooth things over with cupcakes

And we end the episode with the need to get a dragon to blow them and a dark shadow approaching~

ELECTION RESULTS!!!

YAAAAAASSSSSS LIAM WINS GO LIAM

SPEECH SPEECH!

HIS GOBLIN AND HUSBAND XD OHMYGODS I LOVE THIS

OHMYGODS SAM DROPPED HIS BALL XDDD

I LOVE CRITICAL ROLE <3

Good night and don't forget to love each other~

[ashnadir]

freddiewatts‌:

[TXT] Oh, shut it. :P I’m only pouting a little. It barely counts.

[TXT] She’s the woman who sang that song you just quoted at me, you tit. xP And I know you haven’t; I love you too much to expose you to that sort of horror. haha

[TXT] I did sleep in a tent! Sort of. I mean, I slept in a lovely big bed - but it was still in a tent! And I’m not telling you where we went because you’ll only laugh at me.  [TXT] I think I may have to retire from charming pranks on infants, actually. Now that Ephram and I have one in our care regularly, it’s just not so appealing anymore. Impromptu midnight sweets never get old though.

[TXT] Pathetic is in the eye of the beholder, love, and considering we’re talking about the opinion of someone who prefers to pass himself off as a mystical /dog/ rather than have a conversation with his sons, I’d say his isn’t worth much. 

[TXT] Oh, belt up. lol Ephram didn’t much like the idea of my having sex with someone I’ve got history with - and I don’t blame him. It had just never occurred to me until he’d pointed it out. And as far as Nacek’s cock goes, he’s got the usual sort - just a bit thicker than most. And hotter when he cums. 

[TXT] What exactly were you hoping for from a ‘dragon dick’, love? Just out of curiosity. xD

[TXT] OH ajajaja yeah okay! I remember it’s a song now.  My Aunt Azalea used to play it.  Oh come on you can’t be that bad.  I know you’d accept nothing less than absolute perfection in yourself but I happen to be a bit more forgiving than that 8D

[TXT] Well now I REALLY want to know! I promise I won’t laugh.  I hate camping too remember.  I only ever do it out of necessity and preferably out of my van.

[TXT] Prank him anyway.  What would he know?  Jejeje

[TXT] Well. To be fair he is a pretty giant golden dog with a very oppressive air about him.  And as for being his offspring, I’m not quite sure I imagine anything tied with paternal affection in him.  Just purpose.  An endgoal.  

[TXT]  As long as at the end of all this, I stay human.  If I end up being something else I won’t be happy at all.

[TXT] Oh yeah? How come?  The whole history thing that you say makes sense

[TXT] gross.  not peens in general just his.  also most peens so I guess peens in general.  I’m a snob who only likes rare mystical penii belonging to specifically wonderful people. the rest can suffer.

[TXT] YOU KNOW! scales and fins.  maybe a bit of jewel encrusted 8DDDDD

Prickly Heat || Freddie and Iann

[cerberus-delusion]

okay but that actually sounds fucking hilarious and incredible can i be a part of whatever imaginary group is doing this like?? porn "plots" are already Really Bad™so dubbing over it would turn it into a masterpiece probably. plus you can try to make it about something totally normal. ""then he touched her gently with his peen to get her attention and asked "what r we having for dinner tonight btw".""

You can! :’D It would be fun! -snorts- OMFG. YESSS! xD “And with the sharp breath she had replied, they are having fish for dinner.” -shot-

[kedreeva]

My allosexual friends are trying to explain random and/or unwanted arousal to me and....

Jodie: How bout I put it like food

Me: I'm listening Jodie

Jodie: Like you have had dinner and dessert and you are full

Jodie: but your neighbour has fucking apple pie and you can SMELL it and you REALLY WANT that apple pie

Jodie: But you are full so you're not gonna have it

Jodie: and you hate your neighbour so fuck her and her goddamn pie

Jodie: now you're mad she made it and put it out where you could smell it bc you want pie but not from her and you don't even really want pie

Jodie: your body is just doing that mmmm pie thing it does

Me: what if I didn't eat dinner or dessert

Marie: Well then you're cranky cause it's over there from

someone you don't want

Me: well I do hate my neighbor that's true

Jodie: so even though you're hungry you still don't want her stupid pie

Me: you're right I don't

Marie: But you can smell it and it smells like a -really- good pie, and it's distracting. But eventually the smell will dissipate and you can go about your business

Marie: Or you will acquire your own pie

Me: ok

Marie: Hey Jodie guess what eating a slice of pie is euphamistic for

Marie: Guess what else smells /really/ good and is fun to eat

Jodie: LOOOOLLLL

Me: cake

Marie: Cake barely smells

Jodie: It does when it's right out of the oven

Me: garlic mashed potatoes??

Me: strawberries

Me: I'm naming things i can smell at all, so work with me here

Me: wait is it french fries

Marie: (Pie means vagina Ked)

Me: damn

Marie: Goin home to eat a slice of pie

Marie: Eat a vagina

Marie: For those interested the associated pastry for AMAB bodies is streudel.

Jodie: Streudel?

Me: https://www.cscassets.com/recipes/zoom/zoom_50052.jpg

Me: jodie that is streudel

Jodie: I know what streudel is I was just kinda boggling that that was a metaphor for peen

Me: it is a weird one, peen should not be flaky

Jodie: If it's flaky you should def go to the doctor

Me: but I suppose it has cream filling...

Gina: Aaaand I am officially grossed out. XD

Me: SO let me make sure I got this

Me: if you are sitting at home and you just had sex and your neighbor baked a really good sex where you could smell it, your body would be like damn I want sex but not from that bitch so you would be distracted until you forget the sex is there or it stops being obvious

Gina: ...Yes. Something approximately like that.

Marie: I want to transcribe and frame this entire conversation

[lizzybeth1986]

@callmetippytumbles You’re going to kill me with these posts but at least I’ll die happy 😂😂😂😂😂😂

Before I say anything else, Ima start a Tippy and Halle Hall of Sass first. I mean just look at these gems

“Peen Parade”

“I will not under any circumstances believe that Kiara was like, ‘it’s ShondaThursday. I can’t!’”

“Nothing is as good as anything in Lythikos. Even the air in Lythikos is air-ier. NY air smells like piss.”

“That tidbit came from the .000003 seconds that Justin dropped by”

“I think Liam’s perpetual boner for Cordonia could be having an adverse effect on his taste buds.”

“If Liam and Halle were to literally start fucking in Central Park, Hana stans would rightfully start a riot” (I would be somewhere in the background, holding cheesy handmade posters and cheering them on)

“Liam has never shopped for clothes a day in his life and it should remain that way”

There’s more but THESE almost made me die laughing

Other thoughts:

1. Madeleine is definitely upto something, and she’d better be. Please be sketchy and suspicious, Madeleine, so I can boot yo ass off that throne

2. Adeleide is the mom everyone wants to adopt xD

3. I don’t care if she has an entire chapter dedicated to her and a kickass diamond scene. I’m ALWAYS going to be in my feelings about them doing Hana dirty like this.

4. I was really hoping we’d fuck right in front of Lady Liberty 😂😂😂 Alas!

5. Ima bet PB will make us find Tariq in Venice Beach or something. Or at least have our squad search for him there. That’s one background they won’t have to work on lol.

Oh man. Please make this a regular thing 😂😂😂

I need to see this fic

Thoughts on THOTS: Chapter 13 Peen Parade

So after a lot of encouragement from @lizzybeth1986, @violetflipflops and @feisty-mary, I have decided to gonad up and start posting stand alone reviews instead of bumming off of Lizzy. So here we are.

So this has been quite the week.  So much to discuss. Let’s make like the Black Eye Peas and get it started. Heads up, its a long one.

Keep reading