#//it's still around 20 AT 1 AM I HATE IT I LIVE IN THE NORTH IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE LIKE 18 DURING THE DAY INJ UNE

[pompomexpress-arch]

"... I'm thirsty..."

[yourgamemasterthewhiterabbit]

You seem nice and all so don't take this in the wrong tone or anything, But I am going to explain something.

I've talked about this before, but I think the technical definition WE use is bullshit becuase it dis-includes half the cold season as "not winter". If the water is frozen enough for ice fishing and it can be 40 below and there can be blizzards, I think it's being uselessly fucking pedantic to call that "not winter" or "technically it's fall". Like you have your heat on and you winter coat and boots on and are cold inside in a sweater and have the ice pick on your cane and the chain on your boots, it's dark at 4 pm for Pete's sake, you have or winter tires on or you die... It's fucking winter, I don't care if it's still October or November that year.

And it isn't actually universal to consider the middle of the dark cold season technically the "beginning" of winter. The US, Britain and anyone in Canada who wants to be pedantic might go by that definition, but lots of people world over define "winter" by at least the average time of year winter conditions set in.

I grew up in northern Canada and I have not met a person who would see a nasty blizzard cancel Halloween that year and not say "Well I guess it's winter now". Because in this case using the technical definition of "when winter is" this far north is actually useless. It means nothing.

Where I grew up "winter is coming" is an actual thing we say because it means we have to get our plants in, sure, but also start draining the outdoor hose lest it burst and start plastic-ing off drafty windows and basically winter-proofing our homes. Not one of those people would have pointed out that it technically wasn't winter for another month or two when their fingers were already going numb outside or the ground was already starting to freeze. Because it serves no purpose. Even being around a lot of autistic people who love random trivia and BEING ONE, this is the first I have heard of this. Winter to use isn't a technically defined meteorological event, it's a season of weather with practical implications.

Even the incredibly socially inept here know that if you turn to someone desperately clutching at a hot drink to try to maintain circulation to their fingers while their breath freezes to their eyelashes, and say "technically this isn't winter" that's a great way to have everyone hate you. Even my level of social ineptitude knows better than that.

Imagine my annoyance at 20 something yo students coming not even this far north in my 20's and trying to tell me I can't "quote that phrase" without watching game of thrones so I "knew what it meant :)"... Like buddy I'm in the middle of draining your water pipes so they don't burst and assessing what parts of your house need to be shrink-wrapped... Winter is fucking coming.

In short, I AM talking about when it gets cold and I don't think there's any practical use in not doing so.

I'm -in the original post, last year- saying that it seems strange that there would still be 3 months of frozen blizzard weather -after- the point in the year that the days are slowly starting to get longer. Because I would have assumed that the shortest day of the year would fall a little closer the the actual middle of winter weather, instead of being *slightly* offset towards the beginning. I didn't think the planet held on to *that* much heat. But even at that, the current definition is ignoring like 1/3 of nasty mid-winter weather as "not technically winter" and I think that's just useless.

The only people who would not have a very practical understanding of that either live far enough south to not have blizzards in October, or far enough north that there's no stark contrast of "every thing is frozen" VS "everything isn't frozen". And honestly if I lived even further north I would be defining "winter" even more purely by when it's dark, with the solstice even more smack dab in the fucking middle, because that would be the most impactful part of winter to me, the endless dark.

Hey guys. Friends. Northern hemisphere pals. Only like 10 days until the days start getting longer again.

[pocket-elf]

New Years questionnaire for 2024/25

(I used to this this back during the LJ days, and a few times here as well, including last year. So let's keep going)

1. What did you do in 2024 that you’d never done before?  Proper hiking in the mountains! No tent, but day trips from a cabin. It might also be the first time I went north of the arctic circle (not sure if my childhood friend's cabin was just north of it?) Definitely haven't been that far north before.

2. Did you keep your New Years’ resolutions, and will you make more for next year? I don't tend to do resolutions, not even fun ones. And I don't think I did crafting goals this year either. I did succeed with my main reading challenge early and changed it twice. For next year I will set another reading challenge, and in general just wish I keep pushing to do more creative things in my spare time.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth? Nope.

4. Did anyone close to you die? We weren't close anymore, but my childhood best friend died in May. Despite her living just across the street from me the past few years we never hung out. Had drifted apart long ago. But I kept thinking I'd contact her again and ask her over but never got around to it. They still don't know what happened. She just collapsed on her balcony. Autopsy showed nothing, and when I last talked to her mum (I wanna say beginning of October?) they still hadn't gotten the results from all the tests done.

5. What countries did you visit? France! Finally got to see a friend of mine in person for the first time. We must've known each other for... at least 15 years. I've been to France before but it's been more than 20 years.

6. What would you like to have in 2025 that you lacked in 2024? As always... a girlfriend. Hit me up ladies and enbees! I'd also like some more energy and definitely would like some sewjo. It was DEAD all year. I crafted in other ways though thankfully. And MCR5...

7. What date from 2023 will remain etched upon your memory? I am very very bad with dates. And I don't think there's a single date this year that I remember.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year? I think the whole hiking trip. The fact that I could do it physically and didn't complain and it remained fun. And I didn't hate dad afterwards haha (it was just me and dad that whole week). Creatively my cross stitches should probably be seen as achievements. I just keep trucking along with them but my parents are hyping them so hard, telling me I don't understand how brilliant it is. And well, my very first one; the Gerard Way Black Parade one, has over 2000 notes and I am living for the tags people give it.

9. What was your biggest failure? I don't know... I feel a bit stagnant maybe? But at the same time that just feels like normal life when you have a stable job? I don't love my job though so I guess that helps in making life feel a bit meh. Not sewing any clothes feels like a failure compared to my past, but I just need to reframe it and think about the cross stitches I've made instead! I'm still being creative with textiles and whatnot. It's just different. And I did end up knitting a sweater in December so.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury? No injury. But worst timing, getting a fever the day Callie arrived for her visit and spending the first week she was here with I guess the flu? It sucked. But that's been the worst of it.

11. What was the best thing you bought? So I prepped this thing in my drafts a few months ago when I was bored and felt like not much will change until the end of the year and I'll edit the last small things... and I said that this was such a hard question cause I I forget what I buy and when. But maybe my record collection? WELL, no. Assuming everything turns out alright, the best thing I bought was a ticket to Long Live The Black Parade for July 2025.

12. Did you try any new crafts? Nope! Unless using contact vinyl to make a piece of ikea furniture look pretty counts? But in general my crafting has been mainly focused on cross stitch. Finish up Gerard and then just falling head first into portrait stitching. Ended up with three more portraits on my wall (Kellin Quinn and two Alex Gaskarth) and one of Bob Dylan as a christmas gift for dad. He requested it. Halfway done with another Gerard, but didn't have the right frame for it so didn't know what to do about the torso. I have now though. But half of november and all of december has been full on knitting instead. Nice to get back into that too tbh.

13. Did your home change in any way? I moved some stuff around on the wall of my bedroom that isn't a big gallery wall... so that I could start I guess a second gallery wall of just cross stitch. They all hang above my bed now. I also added a clothing rack to my bedroom for things that need to be ironed and on hangers, but that I use fairly frequently. My closet is too crowded so even hanging stuff might get a bit wrinkly. This was I see it too. Gods there's a big pile of ironing to do though.

14. Where did most of your money go? I know it's bad but Temu is a trap. I mainly get crafting supplies though. And honestly yeah, that probably is where most of my money has gone. Various crafting supplies and a few books etc. Or maybe it's been records? Yeah records are expensive!

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about? Music still. Not as much as last year though.

16. What song/album will always remind you of 2024? Hmmm... I guess something All Time Low? They've been the big ones this year I feel. Not sure which song will stick as a 2024 song though. Maybe the re-record of Remembering Sunday? Cause I remember listening to it for the first time on that vacation to the mountains.

17. Compared to this time last year, are you: i. happier or sadder? Maybe the same? Just a bit more... blah. ii. thinner or fatter?  Slightly fatter I think iii. richer or poorer? Richer as I'm not a huge spender and I have had a full year of stable income and no extra big purchases.

18. What do you wish you’d done more of? Sewing for sure.

19. What do you wish you’d done less of? The answer to that is always work. But we live under late state capitalism. I don't have a choice. Disregarding that though... napping? I mean I love napping but time disappears.

20. How will you be spending Christmas and New Years? Christmas was spent at my parents'. Very chill. A good dinner (not christmas food), some gifts, christmas sweets I brought while watching some tv... After parents went to bed I watched the second half of Fellowship of the Ring.

Tonight, New Years Eve, I plan on making salmon for dinner and then a classic Swedish 80s dessert (pears cooked in simple syrup and then quickly broiled in the oven with After Eight on top) I will end the year by crying to Return of the King.

21. Who did you spend the most time on the phone with? Eron or Callie.

22. Did you fall in love in 2024? With more idiot boys who make music, but not love-love.

23. Did you try any new exciting food? I don't think so? Had some great pastries in France of course but nothing like new and revolutionary. I've had French baking before!

24. What was your favourite TV programme? At first I typed that I don't think I watched any proper tv, but when I scrolled down to things I look forward to next year and saw that a year ago I was looking forward to Doctor Who... well I did watch the new season of that! And enjoyed it.

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year? Not really no.

26. What was the best book you read? For sure Geoff Rickly's half fictional biography Someone Who Isn't Me. I'm so happy Jacey managed to send it to me finally.

27. What was your greatest musical discovery? All Time Low for sure. My sweet sweet idiot boys. I think Pierce the Veil and Sleeping With Sirens found their way to my heart towards the end of last year.

28. What did you want and get? To see the northern Swedish mountains. Or more precisely, to see Tjuonavagge (The Lapponian Gate) with my own eyes. Also Black Parade tickets.

29. What did you want and not get? We all know the answer to that, the same as last year: MCR5 and a girlfriend.

30. What was your favourite film of this year? I watched pretty shitty movies this year haha. But since I'm doing a LotR rewatch... that. Does that count though? It's like the 10th time. Movie watched for the first time this year though is tough. It's a lot of Hallmark. Beetlejuice Beetlejuice for the aesthetics? It didn't blow me away of anything but I didn't adore the first one either. Only one I've seen at the cinema (because the showing times for movies I've been interesting in towards the end of the year have been shit. Gonna try for Wicked next week though) Of the Hallmark movies I think maybe The 5 Year Christmas Party. This is ofc if we don't count the music documentaries that I do log on Letterboxd though, cause obviously ATL's It's Still Nothing Personal is a delight.

31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? I turned 37. I worked, and then I went to dinner at my parents' place. Very chill. The weekend after (I think? Or maybe before) me and Mandi went to an all you can eat berry buffet, and it was great.

32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? Having more free time, while still having the same kind of economical situation (or better obviously)

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2024? Just kinda lazy with my workday uniform being skinny jeans and a band tee, or variations thereof. I did buy a couple of beautiful pieces from Disturbia though to change things up sometimes. But in general lots of black with printed tees.

33b. Any other changes to your looks this year? Nothing radical. By the end of last year I had buzzed the sides of my head already. But this year I did move towards a mullet hawk. And I did try green for the first time! And some more tattoos of course.

34. What kept you sane? Same as last year: music and talking to people online. And way more so this year, especially during summer and fall/winter: having a creative project going at work. I've even inspired my coworkers to start crafting! Has made the office environment so much nicer tbh.

35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most? I can't choose between my emo dads now can I?

36. What political issue stirred you the most? Same as last yeah: I am just so very tired. But gods, Palestine.

37. Who did you miss? Always friends.

38. Who was the best new person you met? I mean she isn't NEW but I did get to meet Sky in person for the first time

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2024. I don't know if I learned any specific life lessons? But once again the fact that making things for yourself is important. Just for the same of making them. Create beauty, even if it doesn't turn out the way you intended. You still <i>made something with your hands</i>. Having inspired my coworkers to start crocheting and knitting really showed that again for me. The energy at the office completely changed.

40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.

Well, the years start comin' and they don't stop comin'

41. What is the thing you most look forward to in 2025? <i>Long Live "The Black Parade"</i> of course.

42. What is the first thing you look forward to in 2025? Probably tattoo appointment as it's two weeks in to the new year. Nothing big or fancy but still a lil something.

43. Any upcoming releases make you excited? I will never stop hoping for MCR5. But I feel like 2023 was a big release year, with 2024 not so much. So maybe 2025 will have a bit more. I'm expecting a Sirens record, cause I know they've been working on it. Same with Kellin's side project. A bit curious about Dunes' new one that drops very soon, but not exactly hyped. The first few singles didn't do it for me, but <i>Paper Tigers</i> was pretty nice. And I'm sure ATL have shit brewing, they always do. The new season of Doctor Who might be fun? Oh and Wheel of Time season 3. And I am actually really interested in Mark Hoppus' memoir that comes out early April, despite not being a Blink fan whatsoever.

44. Do you have any big plans for the coming year? California in July with My Chem as the focal point, but of course then a couple of weeks of hanging out with Jenny and exploring and such. Sweating my ass off.

45. What is something you want to accomplish in 2025? So as I said earlier, the funny thing is I typed up a lot of the answers to this around Halloween I think, cause I was bored one evening. And for this I had typed "I said this last year but I will again: I would really like to go to a concert. Is that accomplishing something?" And now that is at least planned! Maybe some new cool cross stitch. Maybe trying some more embroidery techniques, branching out. Finish some knitting projects etc. Just get somewhere with my making hobbies.

And some stat ones (new additions last year):

46. Number of books read According to Goodreads, 77 That does include a few kids books, and a bunch of graphic novels.

47. Number of movies watched 44 at time of writing. Should be a yearly total of 45 with Return of the King tonight. I usually watch more than this. Interesting.

48. How was Spotify Wrapped? As we all know it sucked. But at least seemed decently correct in the basic Top 5 artists and songs. All my top songs were ATL, with the new Remembering Sunday at the top. Could've predicted all five of them tbh. Top bands were ATL, Sleeping with Sirens, Pierce the Veil, MCR, and Fall Out Boy. In that order. I didn't know if Simple Creatures would beat FOB this year, but apparently not according to the AI.

45. How many tattoos are we at now? Last year we closed out at 8. This year... 13. New additions: excited ghost with its hands up (we all know this is actually Gerard, I even made sure he got gloves on. Friendship tat with Callie), a needle and thread, a beetle (friendship tat with Therese), two bird of paradise flowers (the biggest one, and my very subtle nod to Farscape), and finally a few mountains with fires at two of the peaks (friendship tat with Jenny. The beacons are lit!) Number 14 is scheduled in a few weeks and will be a moth.

[lavander-yarn]

tbh can it just be 1-20 because i wanna know more about you ^^ 🤍💚🦋

Hello! Hahaha ok, here is the complete ask game only for you 🤭

1. i am... sleepy rn

2. i will be... Different than many people, even different than my parents, but i hope it will be for good

3. I used to be... A little girl, different than most children, but as lost and dumb as them

4. I see... The sky and clouds everyday, hoping there's something great out there, a better future, a safer future

5. i want to see... The sea again, but not the tropical side that exists here, i want to see the north sea (or the south sea, the one you see at patagonia on Argentina) where is so cold and wild and therefore you can't swim on it, you can only see the sea. And then i want to go to those Scotland islands and see the legendary knits that were created there

6. I hear... The crickets outside, but i can hear they are really far, just like the cars that pass down the empty streets

7. i want to hear... Their voices again, i know somehow each one of them want to hear mine too

8. i feel... Happier than a year ago, sometimes i still feel worried for some things, but i have a paceful life and i'm greatful for that

9. i want to feel... Certainty . Braver, because idk how many things i'm going to live next and i'm pretty tired of things being difficult on this country since the last two years

10. i wish... Some dreams, even the most fantastical and corny ones, could come true sometimes

11. i want.. many things, some days i want frivolous things and objects and other days i want something inmaterial, something for the spirit, something for the soul, something good for somebody else

12. i need.. some money lol, just enough to live without worries

13. i don't.. have to feel this lonely, i'm not. Sometimes i walk the streets and i still feel this hole in my chest, i look around to try to find something i don't even know

14. I can.. improve and make myself a little proud

15. i love.. in small and discret ways, one day i forgot how to do it and when i tried to love the world around me again, i couldn't do it the same

16. i hate.. More than i love, that's not good

17. the best thing.. is to have a nice and cozy sleep, oh and to have covered all the basic human needs with proper decency and respect

18. the worst thing.. is to feel scared and worried

19. I would like to know.. when i die if it was really worthy, you know, to come to this existence and simply live

20. I would like to meet.. you! And the most kind souls on this earth tbh

🦋✨🌼

This was huge, but many of these thoughts i keep them to myself, It felt good to write them down

Thank you friend!

[osakaso5]

IDOLiSH7 6th Anniversary Special Story: Full of Heart...

Chapter 4: Unreasonable Demands

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6

Tamaki Yotsuba: I'm glad you can get your photo now, So-chan. But are you sure you can make it to the North Pacific?

Sogo Osaka: I think so... He did say he could make a stop at the nearest yacht harbor.

Sogo Osaka: What about your photo? You mentioned that Re:vale could help...

Tamaki Yotsuba: Yeah. I just messaged them, and they said they were gonna come pick us up.

Sogo Osaka: Pick us up?

[Toot toot!]

Tamaki Yotsuba: Ah! That's Momorin's car!

Momo: Tamaki! Sogo!

Yuki: Good evening.

Sogo Osaka: I'm sorry you had to come all this way! Tamaki-kun didn't tell me you were coming for us until just now...

Momo: It's fine! Hop on!

Tamaki Yotsuba: Where are we going?

Yuki: Back in time.

Tamaki Yotsuba: Heh. If I could time travel, there's a ton of stuff I'd wanna do.

Yuki: Same here.

Tamaki Yotsuba: I bet you would too, So-chan.

Sogo Osaka: Sure.

Momo: I've got a ton of stuff I'd change, too. But sorry, we're not actually going back in time. We're going to Yuki's place!

Tamaki Yotsuba: That's fine. There's a bunch of stuff I wanna do there, too.

Yuki: Like what?

Tamaki Yotsuba: Playing the guitar. Teach me.

Yuki: Okay.

Sogo Osaka: You could've asked me, too... Though I'm sure Yuki-san has better foundations and technique...

Tamaki Yotsuba: I don't wanna learn from you. You'd get on my case about being bad. Yukirin seems way nicer.

Yuki: I'm a lot scarier than you think.

Tamaki Yotsuba: Huh..? Oh, right. No way am I gonna learn from you. I'll just ask Ban-chan.

Yuki: Ban's not any better, you know. He'll click his tongue and call you an amateur.

Tamaki Yotsuba: If he did that, I'd start crying...

Sogo Osaka: I would, too...

Momo: I'd cry so much, my tear ducts would never recover...

[Toot toot!]

Momo: Ah! We can talk later! Hurry up and get in the car!

Sogo Osaka: ...Thank you!

Momo: Off we go! 

- - - -

Tamaki Yotsuba: Yaaay! Long time no see, Yukirin's place.

Sogo Osaka: Tamaki-kun, you could at least thank Yuki-san for his hospitality.

Yuki: It's fine... Hey. Tamaki-kun, wait, at least put some slippers on before you walk in.

Tamaki Yotsuba: It's fine.

Yuki: It's not fine. Put them on.

Sogo Osaka: I'm sorry about him! I'll make him wear them! Tamaki-kun, come back here. You can't just run into people's homes like that.

Tamaki Yotsuba: I was so excited that I had to floor it.

Momo: I guess you'll need to install traffic lights at your entrance hall, Yuki.

Yuki: I'll paint a little crosswalk on the floor while I'm at it.

Sogo Osaka: Thank you, and I'm very sorry for the trouble...

Yuki: I was joking. I guess you can be a bit soft on Tamaki-kun, too.

Sogo Osaka: Oh, that was a joke?

Momo: So, what's up?

Momo: You needed help finding a childhood photo for Welcome to Kids' Room, right?

Tamaki Yotsuba: Yeah...

Tamaki Yotsuba: Y'know the apartments I used to live at? There was this guy there who had a camera.

Momo: A guy with a camera?

Tamaki Yotsuba: I forget his name, but I think he lived in our neighborhood. He took a family photo of us.

Tamaki Yotsuba: I wanna meet him, so I can ask if he could reprint the picture we put in Mom's casket...

Tamaki Yotsuba: And for that, I need you guys to make some shady deals.

Re:vale: Shady deals..?

Tamaki Yotsuba: Yeah.

Re:vale: Shady deals!?

Tamaki Yotsuba: Yeah. I need the help of some underground type guys for this. Can't Re:vale make that happen?

Yuki: You want us...

Momo: To make shady deals...

Sogo Osaka: Re:vale... Please. If it's at all possible, then I'd like you to help him, too.

Momo: Now even Sogo's asking... No, hold on just a minute!

Momo: I'm not sure where you got the idea that we make ANY kind of shady deals to begin with. Yuki, do you know what they're talking about?

Yuki: I have no idea. You?

Momo: Nope... I feel like shady deals are the one thing we can't help with...

Tamaki Yotsuba: No way... I was sure you guys would have some leads.

Yuki: What kind of a deal were you planning?

Momo: I think we'll be more helpful than any of the "underground type guys" you had in mind.

Tamaki Yotsuba: I need someone to hack into every surveillance camera in the world, to find out where that dude is now.

Sogo Osaka: Every surveillance camera in the world..?

Tamaki Yotsuba: Even though most people don't realize it, there's shady organizations that control the world from the shadows!

Tamaki Yotsuba: Or at least that's what it said in this "Scary Truths of the World" book that Isumin had.

Yuki: You mean you read it in some book about the occult? And you went ahead and assumed we were associated with these shady organizations?

Tamaki Yotsuba: Yeah... Re:vale kinda gives me that sort of vibe sometimes...

Momo: I never knew people saw us that way. Heh, not bad.

Yuki: So basically, you want to know where that camera guy is now? Good thing I happen to know a private detective.

Sogo Osaka: You know a private detective? Did you meet him while studying for a role?

Yuki: No... I met him while looking for your manager...

Tamaki Yotsuba: Oh, Ban-chan!

Yuki: Yep.

Momo: But if that private detective couldn't find Ban-san, how useful could he possibly be?

Yuki: Probably not very useful, no.

Momo: But you still kept him on your payroll?

Yuki: Well, Ban taught me not to keep replacing our bandmates, and you taught me to hold people dear...

Momo: Oh, Yuki! You're such a good boy!!! You're a gentleman and a hottie rolled into one!  

Yuki: I sure am. I'll even forgive you for our earlier argument.

Tamaki Yotsuba: You guys had a fight?

Momo: We butted heads over our Welcome to Kids' Room photos, that's all.

Sogo Osaka: But why would you fight over your childhood pictures..?

Momo: Well... 

- - - -

Rinto Okazaki: Then it's settled. This will be your picture for the show, Momo-kun, and this will be yours, Yuki-kun.

Yuki: Wow..! You look adorable, Momo! A little round-cheeked boy with a tan, playing soccer. It's so cute.

Momo: ...Holy crap... A listless pretty boy, playing the guitar...

Yuki: I like this photo. I feel like it'd be a great source of energy whenever I'm tired from work.

Yuki: I know we talked using each other's selfies as lock screen backgrounds,   but I think these childhood photos would work better.

Rinto Okazaki: Great idea! I happen to have these picture lockets, would you like some?

Yuki: A locket? If I put Momo's picture in that, it'd be like he's my son.

Yuki: That could be kind of funny. Should we try it?

Momo: No way...

Yuki: What!?

Momo: I can't take this photo! As both your fan and your partner, I think this picture's bad news!

Yuki: How is it bad news!? Are you saying I'm not cute in it!?

Rinto Okazaki: I think you're positively adorable!

Momo: You're wearing SHORTS! Since when do you wear shorts!? There's no way we can show this on TV!

Yuki: And why not? Even I was once an innocent kid, like Iori-kun and Tamaki-kun.

Rinto Okazaki: I think you're still plenty innocent, Yuki-kun!

Yuki: That's it. I'm making a copy of this picture, and putting it inside your locket.

Momo: Oh, no you don't! I'm not wearing that, you hear me!?

Yuki: But you said we should use each other's pictures as lock screens!

Momo: I didn't say anything about our childhood pictures! I'm gonna lose my mind if I have to walk around with a picture like this dangling from my neck!

Momo: And how did you just so happen to have two lockets lying around!?

Rinto Okazaki: The president got them for you.

Yuki: He wants us to have each other's pictures?

Rinto Okazaki: No, he actually wanted you to have a childhood photo of himself and I.

Momo: Wait, I wanna see that!

Rinto Okazaki: Here it is.

Momo: Wow! You went to a studio for this one!

Momo: Okarin, is the one sitting on the chair you? Does that mean our prez is the one standing up?

Rinto Okazaki: That's correct.

Yuki: You and Rintaro look really alike. The suits look chic, so it's actually kind of cool.

Yuki: Was this taken for a special occasion?

Rinto Okazaki: Our neighborhood cameraman needed something to display on his shop window, so he took a picture of us.

Rinto Okazaki: We received the lockets as thanks.

Rinto Okazaki: He thought that if we brothers kept a picture with us, we'd always be able to find each other, no matter how far apart we end up.

Yuki: Huh. So it's a novelty gift. If you can call it that, anyway.

Rinto Okazaki: This was 20 years ago. Come to think of it, there was a picture of the cameraman's two sons on the window, too.

Rinto Okazaki: Though even our parents said they'd only ever seen the older brother.

Yuki: I see. Maybe something happened to the younger one, then. Poor thing...

Rinto Okazaki: Perhaps...

Rinto Okazaki: The older son's business failed, too, and eventually, the camera shop closed its doors for good.

Rinto Okazaki: My brother remembered the cameraman thanks to this picture. That was probably why he wanted you to have some, too.

Momo: So we could keep each other's pictures close by?

Rinto Okazaki: No. Like I said, it's our picture he wants you to put in the lockets.

Yuki: I think Rintaro's a little too in love with himself.

Rinto Okazaki: I'm sorry about him...

Momo: Ahaha! Still I think it could be funny to walk around with your picture hanging from our necks! Right, Yuki?

Momo: It would really show off our loyalty to Okazaki Productions, don't you think!?

Yuki: ......... Do you really hate the idea of having my picture that much..?

Momo: Uh, no...

Yuki: I see how it is. You refuse to keep my picture in a locket, but the Okazakis are fine?

Momo: I didn't mean it like that...

Rinto Okazaki: Ah, how unusual. Normally, it's Momo-kun doing these sort of interrogations.

Yuki: I can keep your photo in a locket, you know. I could even make you lunch for your practice match, Momose-kun.

Momo: Dang! I'm starting to feel jealous over my picture self..!

Yuki: I hope you'll grow up into an idol and be happy with me.

Momo: I don't think I can talk to your picture that easily... Or that casually...

Momo: Then again, wouldn't it be a little pervy if I started calling this picture of my partner "Master Yuki", or something..!?

Rinto Okazaki: I don't see the problem. Re:vale's already got an eccentric image, after all.

Yuki: I feel bad for my unwanted younger self. Give him back to me. I'll raise him with little Momose here.

Momo: I told you, that's not it! I'd never neglect little Yukito-san..!

Rinto Okazaki: There you go, starting some bizarre family roleplay. Allow me and my brother's picture to join in! 

- - - -

Momo: And that's how we started arguing.

Sogo Osaka: That sounds rough...

Yuki: Here's Momo's picture, by the way.

Tamaki Yotsuba: Wow! Momorin was so cute! Used to be super tan, too! With shiny white teeth!

Sogo Osaka: You really did put it in the locket.

Momo: Wanna see Okarin and his brother?

Tamaki Yotsuba: Okarin was adorbs, too! And I've never seen his brother! He's cute!

Yuki: Not anymore, he's not.

Sogo Osaka: So you did use Okazaki-san's picture for the locket.

Momo: I thought it'd be funny, and a good way to advertise our agency... Yuki's is too real for me to walk around wearing it. Do you get what I'm saying, Yuki?

Yuki: Not at all. I still feel bad for little me.

Momo: Don't you get grumpy on me again!

Yuki: ...In any case, I can introduce you to a useless private detective.

Tamaki Yotsuba: I'd rather you introduce me to a useful one. Does your detective pal know any better detectives?

Momo: Good point. If he's in the business, he's gotta know who his biggest rivals are!

Yuki: I'll try asking him.

[Dial tone]

Yuki: Hello, it's Yuki from Re:vale. Do you know any good detectives, other than you? Like, the king of private detecting or something...

Yuki: What..? There's a detective so great, he's only spoken of in legends..?

Tamaki Yotsuba: ........! A legendary detective..!!!

Sogo Osaka: He sounds like someone who could help! That's great, Tamaki-kun!

Yuki: I have a job for that detective. Get in touch with him for me. I need to find somebody. Yeah. I'm counting on you.

[Beep]

Momo: He's going to introduce us to a legendary detective!?

Yuki: He's willing to try, at least. I'll get in touch as soon as I hear from him again, Tamaki-kun.

Tamaki Yotsuba: Okay! Thanks!

Yuki: But... If it's too hard for you to get a hold of that picture, you can quit if you want, you know.

Momo: You guys must have better things to do, anyway. It's not like Ban-san or Maneko-chan are forcing you to do this, right?

Tamaki Yotsuba: Yeah, but...

Tamaki Yotsuba: I wanna have something like this pic of Momorin playing soccer, or Yukirin playing the guitar.

Re:vale: .........

Momo: Right. I hope you find your picture, Tamaki. We'll help in any way we can.

Yuki: If you run into trouble, call us.

Tamaki Yotsuba: Ehehe... Okay! 

- - - -

Sogo Osaka: .........

Sogo Osaka: They even drove us back to the dorm.

Tamaki Yotsuba: Yukirin's cooking was so yummy, and Momorin played with me a lot. Re:vale's super nice!

Sogo Osaka: It's because you're such a good kid.

Tamaki Yotsuba: .........

Sogo Osaka: You're so honest and kind, there's not a single person who wouldn't want you to live a happy life.

Tamaki Yotsuba: Haha... That's the opposite of what I used to hear, though.

Tamaki Yotsuba: Like when something I had broke, or something didn't make it to me in time, or something I'd been excited for didn't work out.

Tamaki Yotsuba: Apparently it was all a punishment, 'cause I'm such a bad, nasty kid.

Sogo Osaka: ........

Tamaki Yotsuba: I'd get mad and yell, "That's not true!", but still. Sometimes when I'm having a bad day, I remember that stuff.

Tamaki Yotsuba: I fall down, or something I like breaks, or I get caught in a rainstorm... And I wonder if I'm being punished.

Tamaki Yotsuba: I mean, I'm not THAT good of a kid. I don't work hard, I'm kinda rude. Plus I'm dumb.

Tamaki Yotsuba: ...If I was smarter, maybe I would've gotten a copy of that photo before it went into Mom's casket.

Tamaki Yotsuba: I don't have any pictures 'cause I'm an idiot who can't take proper care of anything.

Tamaki Yotsuba: Meanwhile, you're good at keeping things clean, and you do everything right.

Sogo Osaka: ...You're not an idiot, and the photo thing wasn't your fault.

Sogo Osaka: I can't believe anyone would say things like that to a child. Of course you're not being punished.

Tamaki Yotsuba: .........

Sogo Osaka: I can guarantee that you're not, so don't worry.

Tamaki Yotsuba: Ahaha! So-chan, you're acting kinda cool all of a sudden.

Tamaki Yotsuba: Thanks. 

To be continued...

[tytangfei]

Translations of “Jiang Yuelou” from Killer and Healer

Thanks to the user 4sakeofart from MyDramaList for making this thorough comment about Jiang Yuelou’s name and its metaphor to the whole drama.

I saw several requests below for this information. Killer and Healer is based on the following poem: "Picking Mulberries" by Lu Benzhong (1084 - 1145) of the Song Dynasty. There are two translations and each line of the poem/song is numbered to the right. Poem I grieve that my love is not like the moon over the riverside tower: 1 South and North, East and West, 2 South and North, East and West, 3 Only constant companionship and no separation. 4 I grieve that my love is all too like the moon over the riverside tower: 5 A brief waxing, and then a waning, 6 A brief waxing, and then a waning, 7 I wait for the full circle of union—but how short-lived! 8 Song (Ci Poetry from the Song Dynasty, characterized by repetition and rhyme; e.g. a song poem) I'm grieved to find you unlike the moon at its best, 9 North, south, east, west. 10 North, south, east, west, 11 It would accompany me without any rest. 12 I'm grieved to find you like the moon which would fain 13 Now wax, now wane. 14 You wax and wane. 15 When will you come around like the full moon again? 16 (As translated by Xu Yuanchong) Hate your Lord is not like Jiang Louyue, 17 North-south east-west, 18 North-south east-west, 19 Only stay with you. 20 I hate the king like Jiang Louyue, 21 Temporarily full and still losing money, 22 Temporarily full and still losing money, 23 When will you be reunited? 24 Metaphors: 1. Jiang Lou Yue (see line 17 above) means "moon over the riverside tower" (see lines 1 and 5 above) or since a riverside tower is also called a pavilion, "moon over a pavillion". From the Chinese dictionary, it appears "Jiang" means river; "yue" means moon, and "lou" means love. Every member of the Song literati owned a pavilion, as did Lu Benzhong (often abbreviated Lu Ben). 2. The moon is a contrasting dual metaphor of love. A full moon (See lines 1-4 above) is a metaphor for love that stays with you wherever you go (see line 4 and line 20). The speaker laments that his/her love is not like the full moon over the pavilion. The moon can also be a metaphor for love that is transitory; e.g., unclear (see lines 5-8 above). The speaker laments that his/her love might be short-lived and end in darkness (see lines 8 and 24). The meaning of moon and its crescents is discussed in #4 below. 3. The north-south-east-west is a metaphor of wandering far from home and away from loved ones where waiting for reunion sustains them (see lines 2-3, 10-11 and 18-19 above), even if only for a short period of time (lines 8, 16, and 24 above). 4. Wax and Wane refers to new moon crescents that are only visible right before sunrise ("waning" crescent) and right after sunset ("waxing" crescent) but are otherwise not visible at all. See lines 6-7 and 14-15 above. The speaker laments that his/her love is like a new moon. As it applies to Killer and Healer: Chen Yu Zhi is forced to betray Jiang Yue Lou to save his sister. He laments (paraphrase), "I hate that I am not like the moon above the river tower pavilion that can be with you always and follow you wherever you go". The implication is that their love is more likely to end than flourish. I can't figure why this production team asked viewers to invest a month and a half in a drama that ends with such superfluous and gratuitous violence? Isn't the goal to increase market share and audience participation? I don't get it. On the other hand, I loved the adaptation of Lu Benzhong's "Picking Mulberries". The dual metaphor of loving and losing; e.g., the moon above the river pavilion, applies to every relationship in this drama, from the virtuous Chen Yu Zhi and the bipolar Jiang Yue Lou to ill-fated Zahn Jun Bai and Yu Tang Chun, Jiang Yue Lou and his wayward mother, Jiang Yue Lou and Commissioner Bai, Chen Yu Zhi and his little sister, as well as Chu Ran and her unrequited love for Jiang Yue Lou. Even "Jiang Yue Lou", a contrasting metaphor in the poem, is perfectly personified in the drama as a bipolar detective named Jiang Yue Lou. I can't speak to technical details but I think this storyline is very well conceived and would have attracted far more viewers in its original version. Finally, the screen chemistry between Mao Zi Jun and Ian Yi is legendary; second to none. It was a pleasure to watch. This couple will stay in my head forever. This is the result of many pieces of information that I had to combine into what I hope is a cogent post, but, if I got something wrong, please correct it.

[thesim-tea]

Dag Dag the Artist. . . Tag

Original by @morgynemberisagenderfluiddaddy, find here

thanks to @cosmiksims​ for the tag! 

Here a super quick edit of my sim-self.

Read under the cut!

1.) Do you prefer to be referred by your name or blog name? I don't even know if I even written my name somewhere. Btw is Elena. I don't mind being called with my real name... nickname or both.

2.) Where are you from? North Italy, in a small city near Venice. 

3.) Do you have pets? I have a cat named Kālī, plus some stray cats that come around now and then. One of them is called Brandy (a white boy) and another one Circe (a black girl). They were actually property of some neighborhoods of mine that abandoned them. So now I feed them when they come around. Sometimes they sleep in my garage ecc... my other cat hates them 🤣 I don’t have pictures of Brandy and Circe because they rarely approach me to be petted. Still I love them and I hope they're living a nice and wild life out there.

4.) Tell us about your “dream.” Probably my biggest dream is to write a book. I love to read and invent stories myself. Unfortunately I'm quite a lazy person and I'm also very self-conscious... I'm always telling myself that the things that I do are not good enough, that I AM not good enough. I think that before writing a book I have to deal with my insecurities.

5.) Aside from art, what are your hobbies? Reading, hiking, travelling!

6.) Does anyone irl know about your blog? Easy answer: no. 

7.) Do you know anyone from your blog irl? No unfortunately!

8.) What are some fun facts about you? Even if I have a driving license I cannot drive because it scares me. I love mountains but I’m always complaning when I have to walk uphill (I’m lazy remember?). I can be either very sociable or super introvert. When I'm in my introvert phase I ghost even my dearest friends (I'm totally an Aquarius)

9.) What’s your day job? Customer care for one of the biggest public transport business in my country. If you come in Venice you can probably see me running around the train station.

10.) What’s your aesthetic? I don't really know... I think I like moody and desaturated colours. Can this be called aesthetic?

11.) What kind of artist are you? I've studied graphic design and photo manipulation. So even if I'm not a drawer myself I like to manipulate already existing pictures the most. Right now I like to use The Sims as a base. 

12.) How did you get into your form of art? I've always lived in a house were art (ancient or modern) was very important. So after middle school I've decided to attend and art school. That year the only available class was Graphic design! Then I've attended Art History and Archaeology at Uni. 

13.) What do you watch/listen/read/anything else while you create? ASMR videos, nature sounds or siging bowls. 

14.) What is your favorite of your own creations so far? mmh... as I said lately I’m using The Sims only, maybe this is my favourite.

15.) How would you describe your art style? I don’t think I have one. I like surreal paintings and photo manipulations the most, I would love to become good at that.

16.) What is more satisfying to you coloring or outlining? Definitely coloring. 

17.) What meme would you use to describe yourself?

I hate to show my weakness, so I often say that everything is fine even when I'm dying inside.

18.) If you were on the run, what would you change your name to? My favourite flower: Iris, and a random russian surname. 

19.) Have you ever or do you want to change blog name? Actually yes. I’ve opened this simblr when it was winter and I was driking a lot of hot tea everyday... I don’t know if this is the right name for me right now. 

20.) God forbid Tumblr decides to pull a MySpace and lets us have page songs, what song would you choose? THIS ONE! Eheheh

TAGGING (sorry if you’ve already done that and I did not see): @rebouks @lumminade @amelettes @qrqr19​ @goraroosims​ @berrysweetboutique​

[lalahbug]

Guidance - Zuko x Reader Chapter 1

Fandom: Avatar the Last Air bender Word Count: 3,819 My Masterlist Warnings/disclaim: General In this fic, characters are aged up, to what I see fit for my story, but will stay roughly on the same timeline This takes place on the timeline after the North Pole and Zuko and his Uncle go their separate ways for a bit. If you’ve never seen ATLA, the story may be confusing and vague/give spoilers.   Author’s Note: under the story ___ is a blank for your name/oc/whatever you prefer Written in 3rd person Line/header is to separate paragraphs to indicate time skips, as Tumblr hates my formatting.  Story under cut, 1 of 8: Guidance Masterlist

Limply riding along on his ostrich-horse Zuko clung to his stomach as a waft of food hit him. It was coming from a nearby forest, he turned the animal into the trees a bit before demounting and tying the reins to a trunk near some water. Zuko quietly walked, following the smell of food, the closer he got he could tell it was fish. 

A woman came into view, she looked around his age, but was alone, with many basins of salt, which he amused was for curing some type of meat. He kept low and quiet, waiting for the perfect moment to steal some food. 

Watching the girl intently, Zuko gripped the hilts of his double swords when she sat down a couple of leaves on the ground. She took the fish, which she had been roasting and rotating above a flame, gently pushed it off the stick it was cooking onto the leaf. She repeated the movements until 3 fish were on each leaf, she picked up one and sat down. 

After sipping her tea, she sat another cup across from her, with the other pile of cooked fish. This confused Zuko, because she seemed alone, yet was setting a place across from her, repeating with some rice in small bowls. 

“You are very stealthy but I apologize, not good enough to evade me.” The lady spoke softly, after a bite of rice. “Please come join me, you’re hungry, I could hear your stomach.” 

Zuko froze, it seemed like a trick, yet his need for food drove his feet forward slowly. 

“Would you like some water along with your tea and food?” She gave him a gentle smile as he emerged from the forest into her clearing. 

“Why?” Zuko demand. 

“Why not?” She retorted, pouring him a cup of water and setting it near the food. 

Zuko glared at her, he didn’t want to just take food given, yet it was technically better than trying to steal it when it was clearly free. 

He gingerly sat down in front of her, eyeing her. 

She chuckled a bit then sighed, “are you going to let that food go to waste?” 

“Answer my question, why?” 

“Technically I did, you didn’t answer mine. Why not?” Zuko glanced down at the food before glaring at her again, causing her to sigh again. “Let’s just chalk it up to me not wanting to fight today. I’ve had a very nice day, and I have enough food and supplies to share with someone who does not. Is that a good enough answer for you?” 

“So, you’re only giving it to me because you’re in a good mood?” He sneered. 

“No,” she stated calmly, taking a piece of fish and eating it. “I’m doing it because I know what it's like to travel and have almost nothing. It’s not pleasant. It’s not something I would even wish upon my enemy; hunger is the cruelest torture of life.” 

Zuko looked at the food again, before picking up the fish and starting to eat it. 

 Zuko kept eyeing her as they ate in silence, she didn’t bother to start conversation nor stared at him, her calm composure was throwing him off, but it also calmed him as it reminded him of Uncle Iroh. 

When Zuko was done eating, she handed him a water bladder, it was bigger than the empty one upon his person. 

“Trade me, I need a smaller one for watering plants.” Zuko glanced over at her makeshift home and saw a couple of pots with flowers near her makeshift wall. 

Zuko traded with her, without any words then he stood up to leave, as he turned, he glanced at her over his shoulder, “thank you.” 

“You’re welcome,” she paused as he started to walk away. “Would you like some feed for your ostrich-horse?” 

Zuko paused at the line of the clearing, mulling it over, she was frustrating him. 

“Why? Because you think I need handouts from a homeless person?!” He shouted at her. 

“I may be homeless, but at least I am not lost. I see the hurt and loss within you, I’ve been there, it’s easier to get through when you’re not alone and not wondering when you’ll eat again.” 

“So, you pity me? There is no way you could know what I’m going through! What I’ve lost!” 

She opened a piece of parchment with his face on it, his wanted poster. 

“Prince Zuko, I may not know what you’re going through exactly but I know what you’ve lost.” 

“If you know who I am then why would you feed me? Give me water? Offer me feed?” 

The woman stood and walked towards him, with an open hand, offering it to him.  “Because I know what it's like to be not wanted by anyone, not even my home.” 

Zuko could see her eyes water a bit before quickly blinking them away, he could see the truth behind her words, and the sorrow within her eyes. 

Zuko looked down at her hand, “so what are you offering?” He asked softly. 

“To teach you how to live on your own, and possibly guide you to yourself.” 

Her words struck him the way his Uncle’s do, but this time, he knew that the one behind the words had been in his place before. But was she was so lucky to have someone to help her, would he choose his self-isolation or take the chance to learn? He furrowed his brow not knowing any of the answers. He looked up into her eyes then gently shook her hand. 

“Okay.” 

A few weeks had passed with Zuko and ___, he learned her name and told her his fake name, Lee, in case anyone came around. He found out she was 20, 2 years older than him, yet she seemed so much more knowledgeable on just about everything he had questions on. 

“And that is how to make a basket,” she said calmly, giving her basket to him. 

Zuko grunted and started to weave the pieces together, getting more and getting frustrated as the pieces wouldn’t stay together. 

“Here,” ___ sat closely next to him, moving his hands into a different position. “You can’t use so much force, you’re simply weaving pieces together, keeping composure and being firm, with your hands further apart and it should be easier. It’ll still take practice, but you’ll get it.” 

___ gently patted his shoulder before standing up and moving over to the fire, where she was cooking soup. 

“Why would I need a basket anyways?” Zuko grumbled as he took the process a bit slower and more seriously. 

“If you become good at it, you can make more watertight ones, so you can brine or soak meats before curing them, so you have more food while traveling. A couple of good baskets with salt in them, on the side saddle of your animal, you’ll just have to start a fire to cook, then you could eat and rest. Or knowing you, cook then continue.” She laughed slightly at her comment as she stirred the soup. 

Zuko put down his in-process basket, which was holding its shape thankfully and not coming undone the moment it wasn’t being held together. 

“How long have you been on your own?” Zuko asked before drinking some water. 

“I guess about 8 years now, soon to be 9. I left home right before my 12th birthday.” 

Zuko sat down to eat as she handed him a bowl of soup. Scooping soup for herself then sitting next to him. “What happened?” 

___ ate some of her soup before looking at the flames flicker. “Where I’m from,” she started hesitantly, “as a girl, you get married at 16, have a child, but you can’t fight, only can you learn how to aid and heal others. 

“My mother didn’t follow that path, she had me, outside of wedlock and kept me secret from everyone but our maid and my nanny. My mom was higher up in politics, working long hours, but when she came home, she’d send home my nanny and the maid, and it would be just us. She doted on me, loved me, but above all, I was still a secret, no one outside of our home knew I existed, not even my father. 

“I was about 8 or so when I begged and cried for her to take me shopping with her. I hadn’t been allowed outside of the house and I was tired of being a good girl and staying all cooped up. After what seemed like days, she finally agreed. Everyone stared at me as I clung to her, I was so excited but scared of everyone eyeing me. 

“While we were at a store, getting me some new clothes, a man ran up to my mother. Panting as if he ran with all his force, my mother hid me behind her. They argued quietly for a bit before my mom let me come out and introduced me to the man. Saying he was my father. The man broke down crying then hugged me like I’d disappear if he let go. 

“Once we were home, my mom explained to me that she never told my father about me, and when the town saw me, someone told him that his ex was walking around with a child that looked like him. She explained to me that to get where she was in her career, she couldn’t let a scandal like me out. She told me that if I wanted, I could go to school with other kids and see my father more to get to know him. 

“At the time I was just happy to have the opportunity to finally make friends and have a dad. A few years passed and my parents eventually got married and we lived like a true family.” 

___ had a smile the whole story until now, her face fell a bit. 

“My parents, being important members of our nation, were sent on a mission. They never returned. I don’t really know what happened to them, but it’s one of two things. Either Fire Nation got them, or nature did. I think it was nature, we had a very harsh winter that year and I never saw any soot in the sky, my mom and dad were supposed to stay close to home. 

“So, I was an orphan, but more than that I was angry at nature, the world. I wanted to learn how to fight and get strong. I begged the master and our council and even attempted to fight the master. 

“Of course, having no training nor good stamina, I got beat down again and again, over a week. One day, an elder came to me, telling me I’d taunted and tainted our traditions. If I was willing to let go of my anger I could stay home, but if I continued to be brash and try to fight, I would need to leave as my anger and thoughts were not welcome there. 

“So, I left, with very little, and all the money my mother and father had.” 

___ stopped, getting herself and Zuko more soup. After a few moments, she sighed softly as she could feel Zuko’s eyes on her, silently asking her to continue. 

“I went back a couple of years after I left and they could tell I had become a fighter, on my own. Because of that, I was forbidden to come home, to even enter the walls. I was sent away and I haven’t looked back.” 

“Where are you from?” Zuko asked softly, but she didn’t answer, she simply added some wood to the fire. “You know where I’m from, tell me.” Zuko tried to persuade her. 

“The North Pole,” she spat the words while poking the fire. 

“Are you a waterbender?” 

She chuckled dryly, “not a very good one. But I can fight, I know chi blocking, heal a bit, and I have very good senses, they are heightened. Which is how I heard you coming before.” 

“I didn’t know the North Pole was like that, it seems, so sexist,” he whispered while glancing at her before handing her a cup of water. 

“I didn’t have the happiest childhood, but not the worst, the war didn’t affect me until I left home. I’ve seen the devastation, so I made it my will to help everyone I can.” 

“But why would you help me, I’m Fire Nation, I’m the prince.” 

“You are as affected by the Fire Nation as the rest of the world. You were a child speaking with worry about your citizens with care and goodwill. For it, you were burned and banished for showing weakness, for showing loyalty and love to your father. At least when you were a kid, you were banished for trying to be good. I was banished for following my anger.” ___ gave him a soft smile, and it made his heart hammer. 

“No one has ever said I was good,” he murmured. 

“You have a dysfunctional family, the only good one is your uncle. It took him a while and pain to find his way. I know you’ll find your way.” 

“I just want my throne, my home, my country, my honor.” 

“I’m going to say something and I suggest you think about it.” 

“Just spit it out already, oh wise one,” Zuko said sarcastically. 

“No one can take your honor. No one can take your birthright from you. You need to take it back; you don’t have to earn and prove yourself to anyone. Who are you? Who do you want to be? What do you want out of life, for yourself? Look inside yourself and ask yourself the hard questions. Stop living up to the person someone wants you to be, be yourself, the best version of you. Because no one can take that from you, no one can be you, but you.” 

Zuko glared at the fire internalizing her words. “You sound like my uncle,” he said bitterly. “But with less nonsense and straight to the point.” 

“Still I guess my words can sound like nonsense if I’m not careful,” she laughed softly. “Come one, it’s time for bed.” 

Zuko sighed softly before helping ___ pick up the campsite and put out the fire. She cleaned up the dishes and put them away, going into the tent. 

“Hey, Zuko, it’s getting colder outside. Would you like to sleep inside or at least have a sleeping bag?” She asked while putting a blanket on to the ostrich-horse who was lying down next to the tent. 

Zuko stared at the ground for a moment, it was colder last night, and although the sleeping bag would be nice, the shelter would be better. 

“You’re furrowing your brow, thinking about it so much,” she laughed slightly before poking the bunched-up skin in-between his eyebrows. He glared at her slightly, “Since your debating, let me throw in another option. You can do both, have a sleeping bag, and come inside.” ___ gave him a soft smile; his heart did an odd twist at her smile. 

“Okay,” he looked away from her and walked into the tent. It was definitely warmer inside, probably because of the foliage she had around it. 

He saw her cot in the back and near one of the walls, she’d already laid out the bag for him nearby. ___ came in and started tidying up a bit more, putting some more things into a large backpack. 

“What’s the backpack for?” He’d seen it here and there; within the days he’d been there. 

“Oh, this is my necessities bag, so if I’m attacked or something happens, I can grab this bag and run. I’d have the most important things so I can start over.” 

“That’s a very good idea,” he mumbled softly before sitting down on the sleeping bag. “So, what are you teaching me tomorrow? I’ve learned fishing, gutting and deboning the fish, brine and curing, identifying good and bad berries and herbs, and today the baskets.” 

“I actually need to go into town tomorrow,” she said while taking off her heavier clothes. “I haven’t been in a couple of months. I’m a bit low on rice and potatoes. The blacksmith was supposed to make me a heavy-duty pan like the one I make soup in. Plus, I need to sell some things. Like baskets, cured meats and fish, I made some jewelry last month, I should sell that too.” ___ continued, but it seemed more so like she was rambling to herself. 

“So, what am I supposed to do?” Zuko groaned. 

“Come with me, I usually stay there for a week or so when I go. I do things around town, helping people, earning money. I’ll teach you some labor stuff, so when you leave and are on the road again. You’ll know how to look for things to fix, to get a free meal, supplies, or even money; if they have it.” 

“How long have you been doing this?” 

“Well, I’ve been here in this spot for about 2 years, I will probably be leaving soon, but there are two good towns here. I’ve been helping towns for about 4 years. I was wandering and learning to fight for about 2 years before settling down. You know, learning about plants and stuff too.” 

“So, you’ll just leave this place for a week and come back.” 

“Yeah I usually go every month into town, but,” she trailed off while getting into bed. 

“But?” 

“So, there's this guy, he’s nice and all, but he’s not my type, just a little too,” she paused for a moment before getting the right wording. "Complacent. I want to travel again someday, move around as I wish. He wants to just stay in one place his whole life. He’s been very flirty lately and I just don’t want him to bother me. Nor do I want to nicely put him down and give him any hope. He’s kinda too confident for his own good, which can also be annoying.” 

“Oh,” Zuko mumbled. ___ is attractive, even to him, and her kind heart is very enduring. “How often does that happen to you?” 

“Not much. I try not to let anyone be too friendly, because I won’t be around long. Nor do I want to make a good friend and feel conflicted about exploring my life.” 

“What if you loved them?” 

“I don’t know. You can’t plan who you love. But I would hope they would want to travel with me, or at least be willing to in the future, once the war ends.” 

“You seem so sure the war will end.” 

“I am,” she stated calmly. 

“How?” Zuko asked. 

___ yawned, “it’s a story to tell another day.” She rolled over facing away from him. 

Zuko groaned and lied down annoyed. 

“Goodnight Zuko,” she mumbled softly. 

“Night ___,” he grumbled. 

Wind was whipping at the tent, waking Zuko, he sat up to look over at ___ to see how she could sleep through this noise. But he was shocked to see her cot empty. He gently lit a flame in his hand and called out her name, but got no reply. He got out of the sleeping bag and went outside to look for her. 

He looked about the general area of the campsite, but couldn’t see her. Eventually, he wandered towards the nearby river and froze when he saw ___ standing in the middle of it.  

___ was elegantly moving water, wearing a beautiful white dress that flowed and moved with her. Pushing, pulling, and swirling the water all around her, polished and gentle. There was no strength, just graceful movements. Zuko had only fought waterbenders, he never saw the beauty in it as he did now.  

As she slowed her movements she looked up at the full moon, with her face in the luminescence he could see tears streaming down her face. His heart tightened at the sight, he could almost feel how much pain and desolation she felt even with the distance between them.  

___ slowly sat down in the water, curling her knees into her chest, resting her head on the tops of her knees. A few moments passed when the water started to glow around her, illuminating all the water around her. The glowing water slowly consumed her; ___ lifted her head as the water reached her neck. Zuko could see her taking a deep breath, preparing for the void. 

The sight was unsettling as she was engulfed, vanishing along with the glow of water. Zuko wanted to jump in after her but his confusion as to why she would let it happen kept him in place. He came back to his senses realizing he could barely hear with the wind because the sound of his blood was pounding within his body.  

Zuko slowly sat down on the ground trying to calm down, as his heart calmed, he could hear the wind did too. He could only think of Zhao, who had been taken by the ocean spirit. What spirit wanted ___ and why? 

While contemplating, the river started to glow again. Zuko watched intently as he could start to make out ___’s body within the water, pushing her gently up onto the riverbank. She was motionless, Zuko scrambled to his feet and ran to her side. Being closer he could see she was breathing slowly. She was dry, the water didn’t drown her, it simply took her and returned her. But why? 

___ took a deep breath while exhaling her eyes opened and the same glow as the water was there, briefly. Zuko was lost for words, as their eyes locked. 

“What are you doing here?” Her voice was soft but raspy as if she’d been sleeping. 

“You weren’t in bed, so I came looking for you. What happened to you?” 

___ sat up slowly looking away from him, clearly debating on what to say, depending on how much he saw, “how long have you been here?” 

“A while,” Zuko answered a bit curt, he wanted answers, not more questions. 

She stood up slowly, Zuko mirrored her warily and cautious as she looked weak. She wobbled a bit, Zuko quickly wrapped his arms around her. 

“Are you okay?” Even though he was annoyed and curious, he was also concerned. 

“I’m vastly drained,” she rested her head against his shoulder. Although he stiffened a bit, it was pleasant to him, he welcomed the feeling while tightening his arms around her. Something about this just felt so accurate, he rested his cheek on top of her head. Soon her weight started to drift onto him more and her breathing slowed. 

“___?” Zuko called her gently, but when she didn’t answer. He gingerly scooped her up into his arms, carrying her back to her bed. 

Author’s Note: I haven’t wrote a story with intent to make it visible in a long time. So new work 2020, I refell in love with Zuko, like a lot of people did with the resurface of Avatar being on Netflix, I’ve watched it three times now, aha. Fanfiction wasn’t a part of my life/world when it first came out when I watched it. But Avatar did launch me into my love of anime, and from there I eventually found fanfics, then started writing them. I feel very late to post a Zuko fic, but this story has been in my head ever since I rewatched it, the first time. So, hopefully, someone is craving more Zuko fics like me and they’ll enjoy this with me <3

[josefavomjaaga]

Helfert, Joachim Murat, Chapter 6, Part 4

Sorry as usual for the long delay. I really had to finish some other work. When we left off, Murat was still in Corsica, planning his landing on Neapolitan soil.

In Ajaccio, Murat's imminent arrival was soon known, and on the 23rd, when he made his entrance, a reception awaited him that sealed his doom. For now he was drunk from joy and a feeling of victory. His pride, his ambition, together with his adventurous, extravagant imagination, won over him to such an extent that he remained completely deaf to calm ideas, to rational arguments. "This is how my Neapolitans received me," he exclaimed to Franceschetti in the evening, "whenever I returned from the field to their midst!" And after a while: "Yes, so be it! I will live or die among my people! I want to go to Naples, let us not miss a moment to be there!" To make the measure of his delusion complete, a letter from Count Borgia of Rome, sent to him via Porto-Longone, came into his hands in these days, describing the mood in Naples as immensely favourable to him, and King Ferdinand as hated everywhere. Lambruschini, who could teach him otherwise, was, as we know, not even in Naples at that time, let alone that any news had arrived from him, which, incidentally, in the mood in which Murat now found himself, would hardly have changed his decision.

The next few days were spent preparing for departure. As a side piece to the Bogognano Manifesto, he now had a "royal decree" drawn up which could almost be called Napoleonic, so much thought was given in it to the most insignificant details. The constitution is to come into force on 1 January 1816, and the convocation of the chambers is to be initiated without delay" (Art. 1). "All civil servants, officers and dignitaries discharged since May 21 shall immediately resume their official positions; the former division of the army shall be restored; all grades, all allocations, all promotions, honours and rewards made during the last campaign shall remain in force (Art. 2, 8, 10). On the other hand, all those appointed since that day shall immediately leave their posts, otherwise they will be declared rebels, inciters of civil war, traitors to the fatherland, put outside the law and treated as such (Art. 3, 4). Neither the royal palaces, summer residences and estates were forgotten, for which the former court servants would once again have to take care, nor the king's horses, equipages and carriages, for which the chief stable master and his staff were made responsible (Art. 13, 14). "All our adjutants and orderly officers must appear without delay at Our Headquarters and rally around Our person" (Art. 18). . . The decree, consisting of 20 articles, was calculated to 36. It provided for the composition of the ministry, for the filling of the leading military posts in the capital and in the provinces. But because it was pointed out to the "King" that a premature appointment of these personalities, most of whom were in Naples, would only expose them to Ferdinand's revenge, Murat agreed to the relevant articles being suppressed. The decree and the manifesto were then sent to the printers at Ajaccio, in order to have a sufficient number of copies of both at hand at the first moment. The place and date of execution were left open; both headings were to be filled in as soon as they were in place.

On 28 September, everything was ready for departure. The desired vehicles were prepared and equipped as needed: there were five trabacoli and one felucca, larger barques (gondoloni), as the Barbaresks used them for their raids; the crew to be embarked, officers, soldiers and seamen, numbered about 250. Immediately before embarkation, the "King" promoted all officers by one rank each and awarded the Order of Both Sicilies to those who were not yet decorated with it. The relevant decrees were written in all royal chancery style, so that the clerks available in Ajaccio had to be diligent enough in their work.

Joachim entrusted the supreme command of the flotilla to the frigate Captain Barbara, a Maltese by birth, who had been given the baronate by Murat.

On 25 September, Colonel Maceroni had arrived in the port of Bastia, from where, after learning that Murat had departed from Vescovato, he had telegraphed his imminent arrival in Ajaccio. At noon on the 28th, he arrived in the capital of Corsica and went to Joachim without delay to inform him of the conditions of the Great Powers, to hand over the travel documents for the journey to Trieste and to enclose his most urgent ideas not to reject the offer made to him out of hand. At the same time, the British Captain Bastard, who had long ago arrived in the port of Bastia with the frigate Mäander and two sloops of cannon, offered to take the ex-king across the sea. But it was impossible to have a sensible word with him. If the Corsicans, for whom he had never done anything, had welcomed him so enthusiastically, would this be less the case in Naples, which he had showered with benefits as king? And should he abandon the hundreds who had now joined him to the revenge of the French government? And if his enterprise failed, what could happen to him? That his person should be secured and that he should be kept in some remote place like his brother-in-law! - When his faithful congratulated him on the unexpected salvation opened up to him by the offer of Emperor Franz, he exclaimed: "Of course, I will go to Austria, so that one morning I may be found strangled in the bosom of my family! I would rather go to Constantinople! But no, even there I would be killed!" Nevertheless, he wrote a letter to Maceroni in which he did not necessarily reject the proposal of the allied powers, but reserving the right to consider it as soon as he would be with his family. He explained that he had to decline Bastard's invitation because it had been made in an improper manner: "une sommation trop peu mesurée"; no doubt the captain had addressed him simply as "Marshal Murat".

Carabelli also arrived in Ajaccio that day and had a conversation with the ex-king, without achieving anything other than encouraging the ill-fated man in his intentions.

Helfert comments on the arrival of the Neapolitan Carabelli in a footnote with reference to two other reports:

Franceschetti p. 39-41 and Colletta-Gallois p. 30 f. present the matter as if the Neapolitan government had sent Ignazio Carabelli, who is supposed to have joined his brother Simone after his arrival in Corsica, in order to play the agent provocateur with Murat and lure him to Naples. This is not only contradicted by Ricciardi's explicit testimony, but also by the entire situation and mood at the Court of Naples, where Murat's ventures were feared, not desired. It is downright nonsensical when Colletta-Gallois add the remark: "Ainsi on était informé à Naples de tout ce qui se passait en Corse". Was there an undersea telegraph at that time? Lambruschini, who certainly hurried to bring his well-meant warnings to the ex-king, needed seven days from Rome to Bastia, 6 to 12 October, and Ignaz Carabelli was certainly not sent by Minister Medici before mid-September, probably only after the 18th, when Jablonovski had his conversation with the king. Now Carabelli, who no doubt had a government ship at his disposal, may have managed his passage to Bastia more quickly than Lambruschini; but from Bastia he still had the arduous land route or the circumnavigation of Cape Bianco in the north or Cape Bonifazio in the south - Maceroni had taken a full three days from Bastia to Ajaccio!  - so that he certainly did not meet Murat before the 28th, which is also consistent with explicit witness statements. And then one should have been informed in Naples "de tout ce qui se passait en Corse"!

The text continues:

Before midnight Murat wrote a second long letter to Maceroni, in which there was no longer any question of yielding: "I will never accept the conditions which you have been instructed to impose on me; for me they are nakedly and simply tantamount to an abdication, for which I am offered the sole advantage of being allowed to live in perpetual slavery and under the arbitrary control of a despotic government. I have not abdicated, I have the right to reclaim my crown if God gives me the strength and the means to do so! I place freedom above all else; captivity is death to me. What treatment have I to expect from these powers who made me spend two months under the daggers of the assassins of Marseilles! I have laid down my life a thousand times in battle for the fatherland: shall I not be allowed to lay it down once for my own interest?"

Immediately afterwards, he went to the ships, the anchors were lifted and they set out into the open sea. The citadel of Ajaccio, whose crew had not dared to take any action against the Muratists, sent a few live rounds after the flotilla, which, however, did no damage because the flotilla was already out of range. The sky was clear, the sea calm. But on the 29th a storm came up and the small squadron had to drop anchor on the 30th at the deserted island of Tavolara, on the north-east coast of Sardinia. On 1 October, they set sail again and on the 4th were so close to the coast of Naples that they could see Vesuvius. The ex-king's mad plan of taking Ferdinand by surprise in Portici now flashed through his mind again, but he let himself be talked out of it and they steered south towards Calabria. On the 6th Paola was in sight. Efforts were made to anchor: a storm arose and four of the ships were driven far out to sea, only the felucca of Battalion Commander Courrand remained near the vessel carrying the "King". On the 7th they waited for the others to return; when they did not show themselves, a landing was nevertheless to be attempted. A muleteer and one of Joachim's old guard came along the way and Major Ottaviani was disembarked to question them. Their answers did not inspire confidence; they also attracted the attention of the beach guard, from whom two blind shots were fired, demanding obedience. Ottaviani was again put ashore, then two sailors and Baron Barbara, who identified themselves to the local authorities as "Frenchmen on a journey to Tunis"; for Barbara had provided himself with passports to that effect in Corsica. Nevertheless, the officials became suspicious and detained Ottaviani and one of the sailors; only the other sailor and Barbara were released. Murat did not want to abandon his men, but in the end he followed prudent considerations and set sail for Amantea and then even further south.

Courrand's behaviour now became so suspicious that Captain Pernice and Lieutenant Moltedo, who were on his ship, insisted on being transferred to Barbara's barque; indeed, Courrand disappeared with his vessel the following night and was never seen again. Murat had only one ship left, and now for the first time pusillanimity came over him. He had only a handful of men with him; he saw that his enterprise would be foolhardy. He ordered Galvani to throw the copies of the manifesto and the decree into the sea and decided to sail to Trieste in order to make use of the offer of the Emperor of Austria and of his passport, which he had prudently kept with him. But for this they needed money, food and above all a larger ship. They were near Pizzo and Murat wanted to disembark here in order to procure what they needed. Barbara objected to this plan, an exchange of words ensued, Murat became passionate, and all his good intentions were blown out of the water. The ideas of the more superior, and the entreaties of his faithful valet not to run to his ruin, did not succeed: he, the "king," commanded, and the others had to obey. "I have only done good to the Neapolitans," he cried, "they cannot have forgotten me, they will hasten to my aid!"

The barge struck the shore, the officers were eager to jump out of the ship, but Murat refused them: "It is for me to be the first to set foot on the soil of my kingdom." And with that he was ashore. He had enough deliberation left to order Captain Barbara to lead his ship into a sheltered bay close by to be ready for any eventuality. It was on the 8th of October, a Sunday, between 11 and 12 o'clock in the morning.

[jaxsteamblog]

Cherry Blossoms

Click here to read the entire fic on AO3

For dinner, the family stayed in the large estate near to the village. The festival had attracted the Air Nomads for years, and this time they brought along the workers from the oilrig for a well-earned reprieve. All that meant Katara and Zuko couldn’t always be out in public or else they’d be swarmed.

And Katara wasn’t keen on getting attacked or kidnapped again, especially when she was in such a good mood.

“So what do you think of the festivities, Zuko?” Malina asked as she and Hakoda brought out large platters of food. Sokka followed after them with a covered tureen that still couldn’t contain the smell of seaprune stew.

“It’s been amazing. I have a weakness for festivals like this though.” Zuko replied.

“The kind that won’t piss off the spirits if you do them wrong, you mean?” Sokka asked, setting the tureen down on the table.

Katara leaned over and plucked off the lid, breathing in the steam. It smelled right for once.

“Who made this?” She asked, looking around. Hakoda opened his mouth but, looking past her, quickly shut it.

“It’s Gran-Gran’s recipe, Kat. Don’t worry.” Sokka interjected, picking up a ladle and slopping a generous scoop into a bowl. She narrowed her eyes at him but took it.

“Do you have a favorite festival?” Suki asked.

“Does it have to be Fire Nation?” Zuko asked in return.

“No?” Suki looked confused and Zuko leaned over to look in Katara’s bowl.

“I only ask because my favorite is an Earth Kingdom one. But I do have one I like a lot in Caldera.” He said and started pulling the bowl. Katara shoved it over and returned to the tureen.

“Let’s hear the favorite.” Suki said.

“I can’t remember what it’s called because I only got to see it when I was a kid.” Zuko started, picking up a spoon. “I must’ve been really young because my cousin was…”

Zuko smiled sadly and focused on the seaprune stew.

“Anyway, my mother had taken Azula and I to visit my uncle and a festival was going on when we got there. My cousin took my sister and I out to attend, and it was a lot of fun. The cherry blossoms were in peak bloom and there were picnics and tea; I knew it was probably my uncle’s favorite festival too.

“But at night, the town had set up these lights under the trees and you could walk around this garden looking at them. When the sun had fully set, other lights went on and they made sculptures with them. It blew my tiny little mind.” Zuko explained.

“So, a colony.” Hakoda said.

Katara sat up, but Zuko nodded.

“Yes.” He answered and looked back at Hakoda.

“I think,” Malina said slowly, resting her hand on Hakoda’s arm. “We can all appreciate what Zuko went through to end up here with us.”

Hakoda looked at Katara’s face and grumbled.

“My favorite is Avatar Day.” Suki stated, loudly clattering food onto a plate. Katara relaxed, rolling her eyes.

“We’re lucky Thuy’s not here.” Zuko said.

“That’d only be a problem if Katara said it was her favorite.” Sokka corrected.

“Oh for sure.” Suki said, drawing out her accent for effect. “Zuko can never leave Katara or else Thuy will smack him down.”

“Like she did his dad.” Sokka quipped and Zuko burst with a laugh.

“What’s your favorite festival, Sokka?” Malina asked.

“Love Day.” Suki and Katara shouted together and started laughing. Sokka groaned with loud exaggeration and Malina laughed lightly.

“I don’t like most festivals if they have fireworks. Those bug me.” He did say, tearing his flatbread into shreds.

“I like the solstice stuff. I get a kick out of how serious everyone gets when in reality they’re talking about Yue and my bratty sister.” He said finally and Katara launched a seaprune at him.

“What about you, Malina? Hakoda?” Zuko asked.

“Anything with good food is the best in my opinion.” Hakoda answered gruffly.

“Mine is similar to Zuko’s, actually. But I lived in the northern part of the Earth Empire and I think what you were talking about is in the south.” Malina said.

“Cherry blossoms bloom all the way up there?” Zuko questioned.

“Not natively, but for a long time the trees were a common gift the kings would send to each other. You can find them dotted all over capitals but only in the south are they everywhere.” Malina explained.

“They’re really something.” Zuko said.

“Oh yes. They reminded me of the North Pole, or at least, how my parents talked about the North Pole.” Malina said in a rush.

“Flowers?” Zuko asked.

“What about them?” Sokka snapped.

“How are they at all like the North Pole?” Zuko asked, bewildered.

Sokka looked over and met Malina’s eye, making Katara frown.

“I mean, have you actually looked at snow?” Sokka asked, turning to Zuko.

“You are clearly Piandao’s favorite.” Zuko murmured and Sokka scoffed.

“My parents would always talk about the North Pole when it snowed. Maliq and I would go crazy seeing how little it snowed inside Ba Sing Se, and how quickly the snowplows would come through.” Malina laughed and tapped Hakoda’s arm. “We were not prepared for coming back home.”

“Did you know that some places pickle cherry blossoms and make tea out of it?” Sokka asked and Zuko choked on his soup.

“Oh spirits what.” Sokka croaked.

Katara patted Zuko’s back and shrugged.

“Apparently it’s a wedding sort of tea and Iroh gave it to Zuko and me a while back.” She said.

“I was trying so hard not throw myself at you at that point too.” Zuko said, wiping his eyes.

“Excuse me?” Hakoda interrupted sharply and Malina snorted.

“Well, turns out you’re married by swamp standards so we should probably go pick up some more.” Sokka said.

“Excuse me?” Hakoda repeated.

“We have to get married before them, really.” Suki said, looking at Sokka.

“We should probably elope then, because at this rate they’ll be married twice over.” He said.

“Now hold on…” Hakoda leaned over the table and Zuko put his arm around Katara.

“We’re going backwards through the Avatar cycle. We just have to figure out which temple Aang was born at so we can get hitched there.” He said.

“No.” Hakoda said firmly, and everyone turned to him. “Both of my children are getting married in the South Pole.”

“Dad, we were just kidding.” Sokka said.

Hakoda sighed and leaned back.

“I know.” He said.

“And Suki and I are getting married in Kyoshi.” Sokka added.

Hakoda sputtered and even Katara turned to stare at Sokka. Her brother took Suki’s hand and stared down at their rings.

“I hate being in the Poles.” He said softly.

“What?” Hakoda and Katara shouted.

“O-kay.” Zuko stood up, jostling the table. “I’m taking Sokka to show me the penguins.”

“I can fight my own battles!” Sokka protested, but Suki also stood and the two of them grabbed either of his shoulders.

“I love you man, but I am trying to keep my future wife and father-in-law from hating my guts.” Zuko muttered as he and Suki started dragging him out of the room.

“That’s not my problem! Hey wait the stairs guys wai-” Sokka’s voice was cut off by the sound of chaotic thudding.

“So, Katara, what do you want to do for your birthday?” Malina asked.

Katara lowered her face into her hands and groaned.

~

“Cherry blossoms, huh?” Katara asked, laying on her back and looking up at Zuko.

Zuko’s long hair acted like a curtain as he propped himself over her. He was doing what he normally did when they were able to sleep together; trying to see which parts of her were ticklish as he lightly kissed her.

“They’re pretty.” He said with his lips against her shoulder.

“And very dainty.” Katara added.

“I’m not in love with cherry blossoms, Katara.” Zuko murmured, moving down to her collarbone.

“I’m just saying.”

“And I’m just saying. Though it would be nice to see you in a bath with some cherry blossoms. Seeing them stick to your skin.” Zuko laid himself on her and went back to her neck. “Mmmmm.”

“You just constantly run hot don’t you?” Katara said with a laugh threading through her words.

“You should have seen me as a young man.” Zuko said, pushing himself up to look directly at her. “And when I was plagued with thoughts of a very mysterious spirit.”

“You’re still a young man.” Katara retorted, putting her hands on his chest.

“Did you ever think of me?” Zuko asked.

“The Blue Spirit?”

“Yeah.”

Katara paused then, trying to recollect. Her memory was shoddy at best, and some events were warped by time and trauma.

She remembered her first kiss with Haru before staging a prison break to rescue his father. She remembered seeing Yue in the moonlight and knew love and heartbreak in the same moment as she saw Sokka’s face. She remembered digging her nails into Jet as if she could mold him into something else.

And she remembered the vigilante that she could never figure out.

“I used to dream about running into you over and over again in the war. We’d fight the same villains, we’d tease each other because we are always suspicious, and you would unmask yourself while proclaiming your eternal love for me.” Katara said.

“Funny, I always imagined the same thing.” Zuko said.

“I would never have unmasked.” Katara scoffed.

“There’d be no need.” Zuko said with a smile and then lowered himself again. “I told you that you sweat your stripes off.”

“Zuko!”

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60

[crystalstar8]

Knights of the Night (ch 20)

Chapter 20

Ch 1, ch 2, ch 3, ch 4, ch 5, ch 6, ch 7, ch 8, ch 9, ch 10, ch 11, ch 12, ch 13, ch 14, ch 15, ch 16, ch 17, ch 18, ch 19, ch 20

https://archiveofourown.org/works/29139240/chapters/71536491

pairing: Jungkook x oc

genre: vampire au, college au, twilight, romance

word count: 1,193

warnings: blood (obviously), kidnapping, child kidnapping, needles, France, human trafficking

notes: vampires, vampire au, college, college au, so many twilight references, blood, needles, kidnapping, children, homelessness, dance, ballet, flashbacks, romance, slow burn, probably no smut, idk yet tho, France, French things, attempted genocide, inaccurate French history, bisexual main character, @strawberriewithchocolate-blog @mozy-j  @daechwitad-2​ @zobadak​ @fallenstar-7​​​

summary: Catalina starts college in a small town all the way across the country. She doesn’t know anyone and isn’t exactly looking for friends. She just wants to focus on dance. But when she meets fellow dance major, Jimin, and adventurous, fellow freshman, Jungkook, Catalina ends up discovering a whole new side to the small college town; one that is dangerous but oh so enticing...

              “Whoa! Is this your house?!” Caleb screeched as they got out of the car.

               “No, I wish,” said Jimin. He pointed to Yoongi and said, “It’s his house.”

               “Wow! You must be super rich or something!” Caleb said to Yoongi. Jimin took his hand as they walked up to the front door. “You paid that guy fifty thousand dollars, and you live in this big house!”

               “Yeah, and apparently you’re more valuable than I am,” Jimin said, swatting Yoongi across the shoulder.

               Yoongi didn’t respond to any of this as he unlocked the front door and stepped inside. Footsteps pounded through the house towards the foyer, revealing a frazzled Taehyung. He took one look at the group before pushing his way through to wrap Jimin up in a tight hug. Taehyung pulled away with damp eyes.

               “Oh! You brought someone with you,” Taehyung said between sniffles, reaching out to shake Caleb’s hand and wiping his eyes with the other hand. “Hello little one. Forgive me for not greeting you before. If you like, we have some cold soda pop or I can get you a wine-“

               “He’s eight,” said Jimin.

               “Oh…um,” sniffle, “Can you not have caffeine?”

               “I’ll have wine please!” Caleb said with a giggle. Jimin shushed him.

               “He’s fine,” he said.

               Just then, Namjoon and Hoseok came around the corner, their eyes widening when they saw the child.

               “Yoongi…” Namjoon said.

               “I know! They were in the same cell, what was I supposed to do?” Yoongi snapped.

               “I’m not…I’m not opposed,” said Namjoon. “Here, let’s move to the lounge. We can look at the recording there as well.”

               “And we’ll find your parents,” Jimin said to Caleb.

               Everyone piled into the lounge to watch the recording. Jungkook connected to the TV and played it. Namjoon took notes and sketched a rough map. Since Jimin no longer had a phone, he took Hoseok’s phone and stepped out with Caleb to call his parents. Catalina stepped out with them. She wasn’t keen on watching their journey again.

               Jimin was opening Hoseok’s phone while Caleb examined the ceramic vase on display in the hallway.

               “Do you know their phone numbers?” Jimin asked. Caleb nodded and took the phone. He typed in a phone number and held it up to his ear. It sounded like whoever it was picked up immediately.

               “Hi mom!” Caleb greeted. He held the phone away from his ear as a cacophony of voices shouted and cried on the other end. Jimin kneeled beside Caleb and took his hand as tears gathered in his eyes. “I’m okay mom…I’m with Jimin right now…no he’s my friend, we were roommates at the bad guy’s place. His friends saved us…we’re at his friend’s house…um…”

               Caleb turned to Jimin and asked, “Where is this place? My mom says they’re gonna pick me up.”

               “Tell her we can text her our location from this phone,” said Jimin. “I don’t know the address.”

               “Jimin says that we’re gonna text you the location,” said Caleb. “He says he doesn’t know the address…okay I won’t…yeah, they’re all in the room, they’re making a plan to kill the bad guys…”

               “Caleb!” Catalina whispered. She shook her head.

               “Oh right,” Caleb said. “Never mind, it’s top secret…no, they’re not killing anyone, they’re not doing anything, it’s top secret…okay…”

               “Jimin, you should call your mom as well,” Catalina said, handing her phone over.

               As Jimin called his mother and had a very similar conversation with her as Caleb, Jungkook came out of the room and joined Catalina. His face was pale.

               “You okay?” she asked. He nodded.

               “I hate seeing it again,” said Jungkook. “I can’t wait to get those people out.”

               “Yeah, me too,” said Catalina. They both spoke quietly, as to not disturb the two phone calls happening next to them.

               “But I learned something interesting in there,” said Jungkook. “Apparently Yoongi used to go around finding organizations like this and he would buy all the kids from them.”

               “Like, he’d just go around rescuing kids?” Catalina asked. Jungkook nodded. “Yoongi? I can’t picture that.”

               “I know right?” said Jungkook.

               An hour later, there was a knock at the door. Jimin went with Caleb to greet his parents. After their tearful reunion, Caleb said, “Am I gonna see Jimin again?”

               His parents agreed to keep in contact with Jimin before going on their way. Jimin’s mom showed up shortly after with another tearful reunion.

               “I should probably go home,” Jimin said to Catalina and Jungkook.

               “Yeah, ya think?” Catalina said. Jimin rolled his eyes.

               “Anyway, make sure you guys kill all those sons of bitches,” he said.

               “You know we will,” said Jungkook. Jimin hugged them both before leaving with his mom. Once they were out of sight, Catalina and Jungkook went back inside.

               The vampires were still sitting around the coffee table in the lounge, planning for their next step when Jungkook and Catalina arrived and sat down.

               “Jimmy K and Jin should be here any minute to help us plan this out,” said Namjoon.

               “Is Jin fighting with us?” asked Jungkook. “Can he handle that?”

               “Come on, he’s not even here to defend himself,” said Catalina. Jungkook snickered.

               “You’ll have to ask him yourself when he gets here. I’m not sure,” said Namjoon.

               “Well, in the meantime, would anyone like some tea to calm our nerves?” Taehyung asked, standing up. “Ever since Jimin came back safely, I’ve just been feeling a bit murderous.”

               “That’s the spirit!” said Jungkook.

               “I’ll just make some for everyone,” Taehyung said, leaving the room.

               He came back several minutes later carrying a large tray filled with teacups and a fancy teapot. He served everyone, then sat back down, sighing and sinking into the couch with his first sip.

               Jimmy K and Jin arrived after that, taking seats in the lounge.

               “Alright, down to business,” Jimmy K said, rubbing his hands together.

               “My ears were ringing on the way here,” said Jin. “Who was talking shit about me?”

               He eyed the group, his narrowed gaze finally landing on a giggling Jungkook. Jin pointed a finger at him and whispered, “You’re dead meat,” which only served to make Jungkook laugh harder.

               “So, what’s the plan so far?” asked Jimmy K.

               “We’re thinking about splitting up into two groups: one to fight off the vampires, the other to evacuate the hostages,” said Namjoon. “I hate working with police, but we’ll have emergency services waiting above ground.”

               “It’s unavoidable,” said Jimmy K. “Those people will need medical attention when we get them out. Have we considered backup? By that, I mean other vampires.”

               “Yes,” said Namjoon. “I called a few friends from up north. They should be flying in by tomorrow at the latest.”

               “Good,” said Jimmy K. “We’ll need all the help we can get. As for the police, I’m sort of buddies with the Sheriff in this town. I’ll talk to him and explain what’s going on so that they don’t mess up our plan. In the meantime, how about some more training, guys?”

               Catalina and Jungkook stood up.

               “Is it flamethrower day?” Jungkook shouted.

               Jimmy K laughed and said, “Sure, why not?”

[possiblyjad]

So I noticed that I have had a bunch of new followers over the last month or so and I haven't taken the time to send you guys love and a proper intro! So here we go:

Hi! My name is Jade, but you can also call me Jad. I'm 27, Canadian (I live in Niagara Falls), and super queer. I use both she and they pronouns. I have two conflicting aesthetics of super cutesy pastel stuff and emo renaissance. I love fashion, makeup, and body modification as outlets of expression. I go to school VERY soon to be an esthetician, and I'm currently looking into the possibilities of getting a piercing apprenticeship.

Under the cut will be 25 random facts about me. Click to see them:

1. I grew up in a smallish town called Bowmanville, which is about an hour east of Toronto. It's rapidly expanding but in the heart of it is a bevy of picture esque historic neighborhoods lined with centuries old mansions. If you ever go, the one place I highly recommend food wise is Norm’s Deli downtown. The handmade pierogis and cabbage rolls are unmatched. Also, if you’re a tattoo fiend like me, some of my all time favourite artists are in Bowmanville/Oshawa.

2. I currently have 4 tattoos and 12 piercings, with the strong desire to get more.

3. My favourite colours are pastels mainly, baby blue, mint, lavender, and millennial pink.

4. I have a caffeine addiction which is usually fueled by coffee (mainly iced) and sugar free energy drinks.

5. I don't really care for alcohol too much, I like the occasional beer at Taps or a cocktail on a hot day, but I hate getting drunk and I'm also not fairly comfortable around drunk people unless I'm also drunk. (I don't really do parties anymore for that very reason)

6. I've been pescatarian since Feb 2020 and I've been trying my hardest to use cruelty free personal care products since the beginning of 2020.

7. My favourite CF makeup brands are Colourpop, Milk Makeup, Sugarpill, and Anastasia Beverly Hills.

8. Even though I'm trying really hard right now, I am USELESS when it comes to hair. I don't really know how to curl hair, I don't know how to braid, and I cannot be trusted with bleach (I won't fry your hair, it'll just be very uneven). I'm trying to learn hair curling now, though!

9. I smoke weed almost everyday. Depending on what I smoke with, it actually levels me out anxiety wise and allows me to focus and think like a normal person. I also smoke before bed to help treat my insomnia. On occasion though, I DO like to get mind numbingly stoned.

10. I actually have a hard time getting close to people, predominantly because of my past relationships with toxic people. My broken brain automatically considers most relationships temporary until proven otherwise, in an attempt to protect myself from further heartache. I always want to make new friends, I swear! Just keep interacting with me and I'll open up at some point.

11. I don't shut the fuck up. Ever. I'm either talking my friends' ears off or I'm complimenting a stranger because I can. Let’s just say that I’m a hit with my friends’ parents or family.

12. I LOVE TTRPG, it’s likely my biggest creative outlet right now. I play both DnD 5E and Pathfinder 1E. I partake in 5 games right now.

13. I’m a first time DM! I started a campaign for a bunch of people who are relatively new to DnD a few months ago and it’s been a hit so far! I absolutely love flexing my creative muscles and writing for my friends!

14. I also write as a hobby as well. Mainly fantasy drabble based on my TTRPG characters, but it’s still something.

15. I’m almost always either listening to music or finding new musicians to listen to. I curate playlists all the time and daydream to songs constantly.

16. My favourite artists/bands right now are: Lights, Marianas Trench, Mothica, BMTH, Halsey, Ashnikko, Billy Talent, Stand Atlantic, and a plethora more.

17. I’m technically the oldest in my family. I have a younger brother (also queer and trans, he recently started HRT!!), and a little half sister who is the literal light of my life.

18. I LOVE animals! I have a senior cat, Willow, who does not look or behave like a senior cat. I also have a lionhead/dwarf rabbit named Theodore, or Theo. I’d get more pets if it weren’t for the fact, we don’t really have the room for other animals in our apartment, and also the fact that Willow hates other cats.

19. I’m TERRFIED of bees/wasps. I understand their importance to the world and they can vibe and save the planet as far away from me as possible.

20. My favourite food is sushi. I’m also a massive sushi snob and I have strong opinions on many of the places I’ve been to in my lifetime. The best I’ve had is still this place in Freehold, NJ that I don’t remember the name of. In Ontario, thus far, is tied between Oishi Maki in Whitby, ON, and the St Catharines location for Wind.

21. I’m also a sucker for good bubble tea. It’s one of the easiest ways to win me over.

22. I just love tea in general. Hot or iced. You should see my tea/coffee cupboard, it is PACKED. I’m a huge David’s tea fan but I also like trying other loose-leaf teas as well, and I prefer herbal/fruit infusions over most other teas. Except for chai, you can win me over with a good chai.

23. I marched in a pride parade once! It was the Durham Pride Parade in Oshawa in 2014! I was still very much in the closet at the time, but I did get photographed by the news and everything! I would LOVE to go to Toronto Pride once in my life with a bunch of my other Alphabet Mafia fiends when things die down.

24. I am a shameless collector of Pokemon and Alpacasso plush.

25. Back when we could, I used to go to conventions a lot! I’ve been to Anime North, Fan Expo, and Con Bravo thus far. My favourite out of all of them is easily Con Bravo, but I would LOVE to check out other Ontario conventions when things open up!

[alphapockets]

Discord: New Message Infodump

Yes this is not getting put in the widofjord tag because I don’t like filling up others’ searches with something that is not “directly” linked. *jazz hands* anxiety. BUT here is all I could think of and a sprinkling of things I have seen asked about or mentioned in the comments! May this and the last chapter hold you over <3

Q: Why a text fic?

A: Honestly? I have only ever seen one from VM (there may be others, but I don’t read many fics out of my niche sections?) that was between Grog/Vax (I don’t ship it but when it’s a bar shift #3 in a row that’s 14 hours long, you need entertainment). I had read also Call Me, Beep Me from the VLD fandom as well as Misuse of Stark Technology and thought that it was a strong platform for conversation and storytelling that shows multiple perspectives at once without the constant POV whiplash that can happen otherwise. And with the strong and chaotic personalities of TM9 and the diverse ways the NPCs interacted fit in, I hoped it wouldn’t be that hard to pull off.

I’ll be honest, I was not sure if it would work out or catch on as it is not the most popular form of storytelling. As many people said in the comments of chapters 1-5, people generally don’t enjoy texting fics and skip past them. I am glad I took the risk and that everyone has with me.

 Q: Is it true you have not watched past Ep. 40?

A: Yes. Campaign 2 came out just before I started school, and I decided school deserved my full attention. I was also not as attached at large with the cast as an ensemble as I was with VM. This combined with having anxiety and needing something to be finished before I can enjoy made it difficult to get back into C2. I was lucky that I started Campaign 1 a few weeks before that ended. I will probably watch it when everything is over, but I mostly follow through spoilers and Arsequeef’s gifs.

 Q: What are some of your influences for this?

A: I have seen a lot of people loving the realism of the conversations. I don’t watch TV or movies, but I watch streamers mostly, especially group streamers. Because of this, I tend to hear nothing but natural conversations. I also have been in group chats since the old AIM days and was a bartender for 6 years, so I have pulled from interactions that I have experienced around me. Often when something perfect happens in a chat with my friends I screen shot it for use later (the look spam and how do you uwu are both examples).

 Q: Why that area?

A: I like to use locations I know well if there is a lot of real-world interactions. I am from Massachusetts and I had used Savannah, Ga., for Here’s To Us, where I lived for 4 years.

 Q: Will the chat be renamed to The Mighty Nein or something similar?

A: No. The chat existed before Caleb as that and was set up originally by Fjord and Beau with Molly, Bryce, Darrow, and Yasha. It’s been the Game Hoes for too long in their life to change. There will be some side chats that appear and disappear.

  Q: Didn’t Veth work with Caleb?

A: Originally that was the plan, but halfway through the first chapter, I decided to space everyone out better and missed her name in one paragraph at the beginning of the chapter. I wanted them to know each other but avoid the trope of “direct connection” with strangers to lovers and text fics.

  Q: How tall is Fjord (and the rest of them by proxy)

A: I changed the heights because Caleb is canon “Average height” which in DnD is different than the US. So, he was given a few extra inches to put him at 5’10”. Fjord was scaled up because we love height differences to 6’3” because of that. By order of height:

Veth- 4’11, Kiri- 5’, Keg and Yeza- 5’3, Jester and Rissa- 5’4, Astrid- 5’5, Bryce, Beau, and Wulf- 5’9, Beau, Caleb, Molly, and Ava- 5’10, Yasha- 5’11, Darrow and Essek- 6’, Fjord and Gunther- 6’3, Cad and Enzo- 6’5.

I’m probably forgetting some people.

  Q: Why did Enzo’s arc allegedly end that way?

A: I’m not sure I’m done with him just yet, but the reason it had to be let go like that is simple: legality. Real world consequences to acts would have kind of thrown a wrench in how this all unfolds. And Molly was the character who I felt could bounce back the best from getting a solid ass kicking.

  Q: Why was Astrid faster at accepting than Wulf, and why is he so possessive?

A: Wulf was Caleb’s first real friend and that meant he was the redhead’s world. Astrid came second and she realized how quickly jealousy can sour something. Wulf’s jealousy fed into the break-up. So, despite the awkwardness, she wanted to show Caleb that she meant it when she said they could still be friends.

Wulf was Caleb’s first friend, and he has that sense of seniority in his mind and has a hard time accepting he is not being replaced when new people come around. And as a more dominant person, it was hard for him to have the normally docile friend speak out against him. He is still immature and needed to grow, but has a hard time seeing that is okay right now.

  Q: Where does everyone attend?

A: Amherst College- Astrid, Caleb, Essek, Wulf. Boston College- Cad. Emerson- Beau, Gunther, Enzo, Fjord, Keg, Molly, Rissa, and Yasha. Princeton- Bryce. Hofstra- Jester and Kiri. UConn- Yeza (Graduated). UMass/Boston University/Tufts- NPCs not brought in yet.

**Caleb has stated Jester lives in the City early on because Jester has all her locations on social set to NYC

 Q: Any reason why you picked those schools?

A: I’m a BC fan (and Providence College), my childhood friend went to Emerson, and I was accepted to Hoftstra before I joined the military instead. Amherst was a perfect “nearby” city that was another college town/I am maybe looking at Amherst for a PhD. Program.

 Q: Where is Darrow stationed when not crashing Bryce’s life or deployed? What does he do?

A: Camp Lejeune, North Carolina. He was attached to the 26th MEU (Marine Expeditionary Unit) that goes through the Mediterranean. He currently is on hospital duty as a temporary “relaxation period” for people who are deployed often. As he is a paladin, I thought it’d be a nice touch to have him as an FMF Corpsman.

  Q: Where is everyone from? The holidays showed people all over and it’s mentioned some people were not born in the US or where they were located.

A: This is where that spreadsheet I made comes in handy. Most of the people either grew up in or intend to stay in Massachusetts for a long while. As there are some of the major schools in that area, obviously people would be out of state.

Boston TM9 Party

The Clay Family is in Jamaica Plains, which is just outside of Boston proper. They are from there, minus Toya who is adopted as well and from Maine.

Molly was the godson of Cad’s mother, who is from England and his father had been stationed in England for some time, so when he was essentially orphaned and given up by the indirect family, she put through the paperwork to take him in. Fjord and Yasha stayed with them.

Fjord is originally from Texas, outside of El Paso. After he joined the Navy, he never intended to move home as he hated it there. He fell in love with New England when he was sent TAD (Temporary Assignment of Duty) to the naval base in Newport. He stayed and continued his education at Emerson.

Yasha is from Jamaica Plains as well and went to school with Molly and Ornna, who is the same age as them. Her dad is from South Carolina and her mother is from Okinawa. They moved up north for her dad’s work.

Beau is from Kentucky and her family is unreasonably wealthy. She decided to go to school someplace as un-Kentucky as she could fathom and was stuck between Berkley and Emerson but chose the former because the weather meant her mother would never visit.

The Amherst Crew (Astrid and Wulf) are all from the area except for:

Caleb, was born in Poland to a Polish/German family. They moved and when his family died in a fire (he was at a sleepover at the time) his grandparents took him in. Wulf was still there with his large family and

Essek had returned home to California for the break.

Astrid and her family spent 10 days in Key West for the holidays, which is why she missed the New York trip. Wulf stayed locally for winter break.

The Conn/NY/NJ Groups are pretty straightforward.

The Brenattos stayed in New Haven, where they moved when Luc was born from Amherst. They had moved so Veth could start fresh.

Jester was surprised by a visit from her mother on Christmas Day and spent it with her. It was the first time her mom came from the Ukraine, as Jester’s dad is the one who she moved with. She lives on Long Island not far from her school.

Kiri is from upstate New York and was home for the Holidays.

Bryce drove down to Louisiana. They and Darrow are from Marietta, but they were at their grandmother’s place in Lafourche Parish. Darrow returned to Jacksonville NC.

Others Keg and Gunther were in Rhode Island but separately, where they are both from, Rissa is from Maine and went home, and Enzo was in jail (he is from Lynn, Ma).

  Q: How old is everyone?

A: 5- Luc. 19- Kiri, 20- Jester, Rissa, Keg, and Enzo, 21- Beau, Molly, Yasha, Essek, and Astrid, 22- Caleb, Cali, Reani, and Wulf. 24- Cad, 25- Fjord and Bryce. 27- Veth and Darrow. 28- Yeza.

  Q: If Fjord has the GI Bill why does he live on campus or have a job?

A: For those who don’t know how the GI Bill works, the government pays for education and sends some money based on housing in the zip code of the school. Boston is insanely expensive and student living is easier. Essentially, he wanted the “college experience” and it was cheaper. He needs the job more because he knows better than to let himself get idle. If he does, he won’t focus on school. Like Travis, my Fjord has ADHD.

  Q: How did Veth and Caleb meet?

A: In a Juvenile’s in-patient program for at-risk teenagers and those suffering from mental health issues. Caleb’s depression and anxiety following the death of his parents and the constant bullying for numerous things and previous attempts or ideations had him labeled “at risk” for self-harm. He was in for 3 weeks. Veth was in for her kleptomania and possible signs of disruptive BPD or other developing personality disorders but aged out of the youth section when she turned 18. As most diagnoses cannot be done for those until adulthood, she was being watched for early onset signs.

  Q: How did Jester/Veth get into the group?

A: Jester met Beau, Yasha and Molly at NYCC two years’ prior in line for a panel. They met again at Anime Boston after exchanging Twitter handles a few months later. Jester had worked NYCC a year ago and helped Veth to a quiet room for Luc, who was fussing, then stayed with her as she was on break soon. She invited Veth to play a few games of Don’t Starve Together with her and Yasha before she was brought into the main group.

  Q: This is a really diverse cast. What is everyone and why?

A: Some were obvious choices such as Caleb being from Germany, Jester being from Eastern Europe (Ukrainian), and Molly as Irish (and English).

Others I did to flush out to make a group in a major city make more sense. Wulf and Astrid both have French/ Germanic backgrounds because in canon, they were raised in a similar way. Astrid is Jewish along with Caleb to hint at why it may have been easier for them to date if her family was stricter than his.

Fjord and Yasha faced some racial issues early on in the show (Yasha from where she was from and Fjord for being a half orc), so I wanted them to be people of color. Yasha is half Japanese because of her name and because US troops often marry someone from Japan when they are single and stationed there. Her father is Jamaican in decent. Fjord’s dad he figures is Black but they’ve never met, as his mother’s side are Mexican. I chose that because I wanted to keep the Texan because a lot of people in the service are from Texas. Also, as previously stated, I had too many naturalized or foreign students already and needed to not stress over how they would be around for the breaks.

Cad is English, Norwegian, and Swedish because Cad is a god, who why not make him a Norse god? Veth is half Cambodian partially because there is a decent population size in Massachusetts. Beau is the not white-passing cousin of her family which will come in later because rich families have secrets, yo. Her family has some Cajun/Creole in her like Darrow but it shouldn’t be there according to her family lineage. 

Essek is Persian, Rissa is Puerto Rican, Bryce and Keg are “Confused American Mixes” of everything. Cali I have not decided yet, but will probably have some English in her, Reani I have decided on Moroccan. Kiri is Korean. 

Enzo is an asshole (he’s also mix of random European heritage.) I feel like I missed someone.

  Q: Is Widofjord the only pairing we will see?

A: There are some others forming, including BeauYasha, which was one of the possibilities when I started. Molly/Essek/Astrid were a shock and some others I won’t spoil just yet are starting to bud as hopefuls.

  Q: Do you have an end game in sight?

A: Honestly, as this whole fic has taken on a life of its own, not entirely. It was originally mapped out to be 12 chapters long and have much of this condensed down with all the side characters removed, no Enzo or hockey games, and the extra fluff cut out. As I wrote it, I found I enjoyed that almost more than the Widofjord specifics. So, this has really evolved away from a Widofjord ONLY fic, I am aware. Endgame wise, when I feel the story is told, I will wind it down, but there are more elements evolving with every chapter and I want these characters to get the moments they’re aiming toward. I also don’t want it to drag on too long, so I know that this will eventually come to an end.

 Q: Did anything change relationship wise while writing?

A: 100%. Beau and Jester were originally who I expected to pan out, but my Jes couldn’t seem to devote to that because she had developed more attraction to Molly and Fjord than I expected. Beau and Yasha just clicked better. Molly was the next option for Jester, but then I decided to make Essek and Astrid actual friends with the TM9 and we see how that went.

 Q: Is Jester going to find something happier? It kind of sucked seeing her so down and withdrawn these last few chapters. And where is Nott’s role now?

A: I am trying with Jessy. I am. Here’s to hoping she behaves? As for Nott, she is shining as the mom friend, but her coming into the fray more means bad things are happening. And yes, that is on the way.

 Q: You keep hinting at something in both Caleb and Fjord’s pasts. Are we ever going to see that?

A: Yes. I am trying to space out the angst as much as possible. This was never meant to be a hurt/comfort type story, but people have mental health issues and those because pivotal to the story more than I intended. Maybe the curse of having complete access to everyone’s conversations? But they will be coming out.

[chicagosfinest2021]

nosy anons let's go

(I know people are supposed to anonymously send these to people but most people usually don't bother so I'm just going to answer them myself because I can :-P )

0: Height-5'3"

1: Age-Old enough to know what a pager is but young enough to never have actually used one before X-D

2: Shoe size-9

3: Do you smoke? No

4: Do you drink? Occasionally/socially

5: Do you take drugs? Just benadryl for my allergies

6: Age you get mistaken for? Early to mid 20's

7: Have tattoos? No

8: Want any tattoos? No, I like my chocolately skin the way it is :-)

9: Got any piercings? Just my ears

10: Want any piercings? I might get one or two more

11: Best friend? My sister

12: Relationship status? Happily unattached

13: Biggest turn ons? Men who have money and spend it on me

14: Biggest turn offs? Broke men who are looking for free sex and free therapy

15: Favorite movie? An Indian movie I just watched on Netflix a few months ago called "Queen". I saw so much of myself in the main character, it was amazing.

16: I’ll love you if… For men, you consistently make the effort to make me happy and make sure I'm taken care of(which includes respecting my time and my presence in your life). For women...we just have to bond and genuinely enjoy each others company, that's really it. Women earn my love much more easily.

17: Someone you miss? My grandmother, I'd probably give up a lot of good things I have going for myself right now in exchange for having my grandmother back.

18: Most traumatic experience? (*Trigger warning*) My sexual assaults, especially the second one because it was someone I'd known since I was a kid.

19: A fact about your personality? I've been introverted since childhood. I like either small intimate settings or being alone, rarely do I enjoy being in big groups.

20: What I hate most about myself? That it took me so long to come out of my social anxiety and had low self value for so long. I think that if I had conquered all of that sooner, I'd be a lot further ahead in life.

21: What I love most about myself? I'm more secure in who I am now than ever before. There's certain things that I used to tolerate that are unthinkable to me in the present, and I don't have "haters" because anyone that might be throwing negative energy my way doesn't register.

22: What I want to be when I get older? A luxurious Black woman with my own condo and living in an upscale neighborhood. I want to be saving money, making wise investments, and spoiling myself and my niece <3 I also want to have a tight group of girl friends I spend time with regularly.

23: My relationship with my sibling(s)? I have one full sister who is like my twin and we're very close, and a younger half-sister who's 8 years my junior whom I love but don't relate to too much. We have different mothers and (through no fault of hers) we grew up in very different environments: me and my oldest sister are a lot more "bougie" as a result of our suburban upbringing, but our little sister grew up in the 'hood and applies "hood logic" to a lot of things. The type of men we're attracted to, the type of music we like, the company we keep. . .it's like trying to talk to someone who speaks a foreign language.

24: My relationship with my parent(s)? I'm a daddy's girl. Even though my dad and I don't see eye to eye on everything he's the reason why I have such high expectations from men. My mom and I only recently started getting close, she and I tend to bump heads more often than me and my dad.

25: My idea of a perfect date? I show up to a 4 star Italian restaurant and my date meets me with roses and a small gift. We sit down and he's a gentleman, we eat, chat, makes jokes, and have a few drinks. After he pays the bill but before we get up to leave he passes me an envelope under the table. I take a look and see that it has $700 in cash inside of it. I accept it and thank him. Before we part ways he requests to see me again soon and I tell him I'll have to check my schedule. My Uber ride pulls up and my date opens my door for me before taking my hand and kissing it.

26: My biggest pet peeves? Men who want maximum benefits for minimal effort and the women willing to give it to them. Also trap music, just. . .in general. Oh and Black people who still insist we're "taking the sting out of the N-word" by using it casually amongst ourselves, it's just such a problematic and counterproductive mindset and I can't even pretend to entertain it.

27: A description of the girl/boy I like? I don't currently have anyone that I like but ideally they'd be well groomed, witty, intelligent, stable mentally, emotionally and financially. Someone who likes jokes but isn't vulgar, and notices the little things about me (how I make eye contact, my natural scent, the way I carry myself when I walk, sit, stand, etc). Being physically attractive is always a plus, but things that I find physically attractive in a person is very broad.

28: A description of the person I dislike the most? Rude, unkempt, body odor, someone who doesn't respect personal boundaries, ungrateful, uninteresting, someone who talks incessantly about things they don't actually know or can't comprehend.

29: A reason I’ve lied to a friend? I can't remember the last time I lied to a friend about anything.

30: What I hate the most about work/school? My current position is uninteresting, tedious and not in a field I was working in previously. Also I'm doing work that realistically should be performed by 4 or 5 people but of course they expect one person to take care of everything. It's really just a temporary gig to make money to save up for a new place, so I'm trying to suck it up because I know I won't be here long.

31: What my last text message says: My cousin said she got her 2nd covid vaccination today so I responded with "Hip Hop Hooray!" LOL

32: What words upset me the most? "I'm just looking to have fun. . ."

33: What words make me feel the best about myself? When another pretty Black girl gives me a compliment, I immediately feel invincible.

34: What I find attractive in women? High self esteem and a sense of security, not seeing other women as competition, women who are cultured and have multiple interests, and who enjoy learning new things as well as sharing her wisdom with others. I also enjoy creating bonds with women who are child-free by choice like myself.

35: What I find attractive in men? Their ability to spoil me and give me pleasure.

36: Where I would like to live? North side of Chicago maybe around Lincoln Park. Outside of the US I'd like to live in England or Ireland in the future.

37: One of my insecurities: I am a short woman with large breasts (double D's). I've been buxom since a very young age and being well endowed has made me the center of negative attention on more than a few occasions. I'm constantly battling between wanting to highlight my curves without "advertising" too much either.

38: My childhood career choice: I believe I wanted to be a writer. I'd love to be a travel blogger actually.

39: My favorite ice cream flavor: It used to be cookie dough but now it's mint chocolate chip

40: Who I wish I could be: Sade

41: Where I want to be right now: Sitting on the balcony of my luxury condo, sipping wine and watching the lights of the city while smooth jazz is playing on my record player.

42: The last thing I ate: A slice of my dad's birthday cake (red velvet)

43: Sexiest person that comes to my mind immediately: I have this picture of this male model saved on my phone who looks like a "stereotypical" sugar daddy to me: tall, caucasian male, white/silver hair, piercing blue eyes, mid to late 50's, full beard and mustache, about 6 feet tall, muscular build.

44: A random fact about anything: Countries with more irreligious people/atheists/non-believers tend to also be the most peaceful and prosperous.

[shannendoherty-fans]

Shannen Doherty Is Not Signing Off Just Yet

Fighting Stage IV breast cancer has forced some self-reflection, but the ’90s icon and so-called diva refuses to slow down.

By Kate Pickert Sep 29, 2020. Photos by Kurt Iswarienko. Elle USA October 2020 issue

On a cool evening in February 2019, Shannen Doherty invited some friends to a Venice, California, rental house for a dinner party. Doherty’s actual home was in Malibu, 20 miles north, but she and her husband, photographer Kurt Iswarienko, had fled the property a few months earlier, when a wildfire that started inland burned nearly 100,000 acres on its way to the Pacific Ocean. The couple’s house survived the blaze, but Doherty says the property sustained significant damage that made it uninhabitable.

The guest list for the dinner included only people Doherty trusted: her husband and the friends who knew the real Shannen—not the 1990s tabloid caricature, the loudmouthed bad girl with a temper. Actress Sarah Michelle Gellar was there, along with model Anne Marie Kortright, Malibu real estate agent Chris Cortazzo, and a Los Angeles doctor named Lawrence Piro.

Doherty had compiled the guest list, but it was Piro, her oncologist, who drove the conversation. Less than two years earlier, the actress had finished treatment for breast cancer, and Piro was at the dinner to explain that Doherty’s disease was back. The cancer, Piro said, was now metastatic (also known as Stage IV), meaning it had spread beyond Doherty’s breast and lymph nodes. “The way he presented everything to everyone was matter-of-fact,” Doherty, 49, tells me when we speak in June. The news was devastating, of course, and Doherty had invited Piro so her friends could get answers to the questions she knew they would have. Would she die of this? Probably. Would she die soon? Probably not. Why did this happen? It was impossible to know. Could this be treated? Yes, to a point. “Everybody got to ask questions and know what we were looking at as a group, as a team,” Doherty says.

About 300,000 American women are diagnosed with breast cancer every year. In the majority of cases, initial treatment for the disease is effective, curing the patient. But in a significant share of cases, the breast cancer returns, either to the breast or nearby lymph nodes or to other parts of the body. In Doherty’s case, despite the surgery, chemotherapy, and radiation she had undergone after her first diagnosis, it seemed that some cancer cells had survived the assault and made their way to her spine. Eventually, the disease will most likely spread further, to Doherty’s brain, lungs, liver, or some combination thereof.

Still, there was reason for hope, Piro told the group. Treatment for metastatic breast cancer, which was once an automatic death sentence, has advanced in recent years, with patients living longer and having a better quality of life. Some survive for a decade or more. Doherty’s treatment would include hormone therapy to block the estrogen fueling her cancer, plus a second targeted drug that is often effective at stabilizing metastatic disease. If this didn’t work, there were other drug combinations to try, but the bottom line was that Doherty would be in treatment for the rest of her life. As Piro explained all this, his patient sat at the table, listening.

Nearly 30 years after she played Brenda Walsh on Beverly Hills, 90210, Doherty is still striking, with high cheekbones and shiny, jet-black hair. “I think people have a mental picture of Stage IV cancer as someone sitting in a gray hospital gown, looking out a window on their deathbed,” Iswarienko, tells me. “I don’t see a cancer patient when I look at Shannen. I see the same woman I fell in love with. She looks healthy and vital.”

As if a massive wildfire and a metastatic cancer diagnosis weren’t enough, there was more bad news to come. Weeks after the Venice dinner, Doherty’s 90210 costar Luke Perry died suddenly of a massive stroke. After the show, they had grown apart, but they’d reconnected in recent years. They were even talking about working together, developing a new television project.

At a memorial service for Perry in March 2019, Doherty saw Brian Austin Green, the only other 90210 castmate she could call a close friend. Green had known Doherty even before they were onscreen together, and she shared the news of her metastatic diagnosis with him, even though she was keeping it under wraps publicly. Doherty and Green chatted at the memorial, and the conversation eventually shifted to the latest reboot of the show, called BH90210, a scripted-reality version of the old nighttime drama set in the present day. Castmates Tori Spelling and Jennie Garth had helped come up with the idea for the series, which had been green-lighted at Fox, and all the principals of the original had signed on—except Doherty.

Even before her cancer diagnosis, Doherty was dead set against doing the show. “I had already done two 90210s by that point,” she says. “I didn’t really see it as something that was going to help, but I did feel that it could stir up stuff from when I was 19 years old.”

The 1990s made Doherty a household name, but the decade also left scars. She had helped build 90210 and the Fox network into juggernauts, but on and off set, she seemed to run into problems wherever she went. Celebrity tabloids regularly published stories about Doherty fighting with producers, writers, and actors. She was a diva, according to reports. She was a bitch, they said, impossible to deal with. A 1993 People magazine cover declared Doherty “Out of Control!” after the actress’s ex-fiancé accused her in court of threatening him with bodily harm. The story itself, one of many like it, reported that Doherty had “left a trail of bad debts, trashed homes, exhausted friendships, and wasted relationships.” There was even an I Hate Brenda newsletter devoted to bad-mouthing Doherty and her onscreen character. “The more stories that were written about me, the more defensive and closed off I became,” Doherty tells me. “And the bigger the walls I built around me. I had a lot of resentment.” 

Doherty had worked hard to move on from that time. When the newest reboot came around, she had long been out of the spotlight, but her relative obscurity had an upside—privacy, which she prized more than anything. She didn’t want to go back, to the tabloids or her castmates. But Green asked her to reconsider. “I was really pitching her: ‘I know it’s going to be fucking hard, but come do it. I think it’ll be really good for you,’ ” Green says. The actors had grown up and were all different people now, Green told her, and so was she. He would act as a buffer if she needed one. “ ‘This is a rare opportunity to experience each other again in a much different way,’ ” Green says he told her. 

Perry’s death shifted things for Doherty. Maybe the show could be a sort of tribute to him. Maybe it was a chance to prove to herself that metastatic breast cancer didn’t mean the end of working. Maybe it was both. “Things happen and you go, ‘All right, this is what I’m supposed to be doing at this moment,’ ” she says.

This moment would be different. Doherty had changed, yes, but so had her ability to fight back against negative stories in the celebrity press. “I knew that once I signed up for the show, the bullshit would start all over again. And, in fact, it did,” she says. The reboot’s showrunner and several writers quit before the new show began shooting, and rumors swirled that Doherty was once again acting out. “I addressed it immediately,” Doherty says. On Instagram, she wrote, “I refuse to be cast in the same villain role because ‘journalists’ lack imagination.… I am a woman with my own story.” She wrote that the rumors about her causing upheaval with the new show were untrue and that she was a more complicated person than the headlines made her seem: “I promise,” she wrote, “you don’t know me.”

Part 1 - Part 2

[mausi-shan]

I turned my Spotify 2020 playlist into lyric prompts

1.       “Show me a grey sky, a rainy cab ride Babes, don’t threaten me with a good time.” – London Boy, Taylor Swift

2.       “I’ve never been in love before, I don’t know what I’m doing I’ve never been too worldly in the ways of woman wooing I know how crazy lucky I am to love you.” – Get This Right, Jonathan Groff

3.       “Lights out, I found out my fallen star Goodbye, the sun rises and there’s no more you and I! Tell me how can you sleep? How can you breathe? Baby, tell me how, how you love me now?” - How You Love Me Now, Hey Monday

4.       “North is south, right is left when you’re gone I’m the one who sees you home but now I’m lost in the woods And I don’t know what path you are on” – Lost In The Woods, Jonathan Groff

5.       “Promise I’ve already learned my lesson, but right now I wanna be not okay” – You Don’t Know What It’s Like, Katelyn Tarver

6.       “This is falling in love in the cruellest way This is falling for you and you are worlds away” – Come Back… Be Here, Taylor Swift

7.       “From coast to coast I’ll make the most of every second that I’ve been given with this crowd Without a doubt, you’re all I dream about At night we lie awake with stories taking us back to the nights we felt alive” – Vegas, All Time Low

8.       “He doesn’t want to bang you Somebody hang you!” – Don’t Lose Ur Head, Six

9.       “I thought this time was different Why did I think he’d be different? But it’s never, ever different!” – All You Wanna Do, Six

10.   “If I said I want your body, would you hold it against me? Seven in the morning, wanna listen to Britney? Anything you want, baby, that’s okay with me now” – Sleeping In, All Time Low

11.   “My heart, my hips, my body, my love Trying to find a part of me that you didn’t touch Now I’m looking for signs in a haunted club.” – Death By A Thousand Cuts, Taylor Swift

12.   “And I don’t give a damn about my bad reputation Never said I wanted to improve my station” – Bad Reputation, Joan Jett

13.   “This distance tears me apart God, I need to see you So when the homesickness starts and you’re missing me too I’m gone too long, but when you’re here it’s worth it So just hold on” – Fall To Pieces, Junior

14.   “Lyrical smile, indigo eyes Hand on my thigh We can follow the sparks I’ll drive” – I Think He Knows, Taylor Swift

15.   “I’m a user and abuser so I don’t need no accuser To slap me down ‘cause I know you’re right” – When I Come Around, Green Day

16.   “He’ll never fall in love he swears, as he runs his fingers through his hair I’m laughing ‘cause I hope he’s wrong” – I’d Lie, Taylor Swift

17.   “I’ve been in love and lost my senses Spinning through the town” – I Wanna Dance With Somebody, Fall Out Boy  (Whitney Houston cover)

18.   “I’ve been first class, spent cash Been broke, no joke, nothing good ever lasts Been sued, been screwed, been chewed up Been loved, been lost but never used up This world’s not big enough for us You hate but you’re singing that chorus We’re kings you can’t ignore us” – Anti-Anthem, Sumo Cyco

19.   “She didn’t stutter, my chest flutters Cardiac attack in the cradle of the summer Superstitious, the kid’s vicious Bubblegum smile, taste the cherry on her lips” – Birthday, All Time Low

20.   “Got my heart out on the table And you didn’t walk away Love me if you’re able” – I Guess We’re Cool, Cassadee Pope

21.   “I can make the ground shake, Winds blow, Earth quake, Rain, snow Mountains, I can move mountains” – Move Mountains, Sumo Cyco

22.   “I wore the crown, I sold the lie I lived the life and paid for every crime.” – Some Kind Of Disaster, All Time Low

23.   “You can’t get under my skin But I get stuck in your head In case you didn’t notice, I’ve been living in it since I left” – With Or Without Me, Sainte

24.   “We’re bound to break And my hands are tied” – Rewrite The Stars, Zac Efron & Zendaya

25.   “Lovers dance when they feel in love Spotlight shining, it’s all about us” – All About Us, He Is We

26.   “A drowning will grasp at straws, a willing man drowns for a cause The blood will spill as cigars blaze and great white jaws will be your cage” – Sleep Tight, Sumo Cyco

27.   “Tell me that we’ll be just fine Tell me that you’re still mine Even when I lose my mind” – Afterglow, Taylor Swift

28.   “All this time, I never learned to read your mind (Never learned to read my mind) Never turned things around (You never turned things around) You never gave a warning sign (I gave so many signs. So many signs)” – exile, Taylor Swift & Bon Iver

29.   “What a shame, what a shame Beautiful scars on critical veins” – Kids In The Dark, All Time Low

30.   “Here we are, nearly strangers From two worlds that have rarely met But somehow you have made me someone new” – In A Place of Miracles, Hunchback of Notre Dame (but pheeble)

31.   “I give my hand to you with all my heart I can’t wait to live my life with you I can’t wait to start” – From This Moment, Shania Twain

32.   “I forgot that you Got out some popcorn as soon as my rep started going down Laughed on the schoolground as soon as I tripped and hit the ground And I would have stuck up for you Would’ve fought the whole town for you” – I Forgot That You Existed, Taylor Swift

33.   “The debt I owe, got to sell my soul ‘Cause I can’t say no No, I can’t say no Then my limbs all froze and my eyes won’t close ‘Cause I can’t say no No, I can’t say no” – Bury A Friend, Billie Eilish

34.   “Take a breath and let the rest come easy Never settle down ‘cause the cash flow leaves me always wanting more” – Dear Maria, Count Me In, All Time Low

35.   “I’m dizzy from jealousy And you’ve got something to lose But darling, don’t let that stop you” – Girlfriend, Best Ex

36.   “I’m your number one with a bullet A loaded God complex, cock it and pull it” – Sugar, We’re Goin’ Down, Fall Out Boy

37.   “When everyone believes you What’s that like?” – The Man, Taylor Swift

38.   “This is the last time I’m telling you this: Put my name at the top of your list” – The Last Time, Taylor Swift & Gary Lightbody

39.   “Do you have the time to listen to me whine?” – Basket Case, Green Day

40.   “Here comes the rain again, falling from the stars Drenched in my pain again, becoming who we are As my memory rests, but never forgets what I lost” – Wake Me Up When September Ends, Green Day

41.   “It takes a lot of courage to hold your own against the tide The wind is blowing, bar the doors, it wants to get inside It may seem hopeless, may seem like it’s the end In order to be broken, first it has to bend” – Run With The Giants, Sumo Cyco

42.   “No wonder your heart feels it’s flying, your head feels it’s spinning Each happy ending is a brand new beginning” – Ever Ever After, Carrie Underwood

43.   “There goes the maddest woman this town has ever seen She had a marvellous time ruining everything” – the last great american dynasty, Taylor Swift

44.   “Hey ho, let’s go Shoot ‘em in the back now What they want, I don’t know They’re all revved up and ready to go” – Blitzkreig Bop, The Ramones

45.   “You think I’m funny when I tell the punchline wrong Now every February, you’ll be my Valentine” – Teenage Dream, Katy Perry

46.   “If you want someone to save you, save yourself If you want someone to heal you, heal yourself If you want someone to save you, save yourself” – Free Yourself, Sumo Cyco

47.   “I wrote the gospel on giving up But the real bombshells have already sung” – This Ain’t A Scene, Fall Out Boy

48.   “I’m here on the kitchen floor You call, but I won’t hear it You said no one else How could you do this, babe?” – Babe, Sugarland & Taylor Swift

49.   “Sometimes I get the feeling she’s watching over me And other times, I feel like I should go When through it all, the rise and fall The bodies in the streets” – Welcome To The Black Parade, MCR

50.   “I knew you tried to change the ending Peter losing Wendy” – Cardigan, Taylor Swift

51.   “But she’s so rock and roll And out of my league Is she out of my league? I hope not” – Trouble, NeverShoutNever

52.   “Do you see my face in the neighbour’s lawn? Does she smile, or does she mouth fuck you forever?” – mad woman, Taylor Swift

53.   “Diamonds, pearls and rubies all swoon Can I offer you a little salt for that wound?” – Don’t Make Me, Malinda

54.   “The night we snuck into a yacht club party pretending to be a duchess and a prince” – Starlight, Taylor Swift

55.   “I know I said some bullshit on the phone I never leave well enough alone” – ME! , Taylor Swift & Brendon Urie

56.   “Give me therapy I’m a walking travesty, but I’m smiling at everything Therapy, you were never a friend to me And you can choke on your misery” – Therapy, All Time Low

57.   “And I scream: For whatever it’s worth, I love you Ain’t that the worst thing you ever heard? He looks up grinning like a devil” – Cruel Summer, Taylor Swift

58.   “Nobody tells me I need a rich man Doing my thing in my palace in Richmond” – Get Down, Six

59.   “We were something don’t you think so? Rose flowing with your chosen family” – the 1, Taylor Swift

60.   “And you call me up again just to break me like a promise So casually cruel in the name of being honest I’m a crumpled up piece of paper lying here ‘Cause I remember it all too well” - All Too Well, Taylor Swift

61.   “Run baby, run Don’t ever look back They’ll tear us apart if they’re given the chance” - Check Yes Juliet, We The Kings

62.   “Does he watch your favourite movies? Does he hold you when you cry? Does he let you tell him all your favourite parts, when you’ve seen it a hundred times? Does he sing to all your music while you dance to Purple Rain? Does he do all these things like we used to?” – Like We Used To, A Rocket To The Moon

63.   “There I go, so dishonestly Leave a note for you, my only one” - Only One, Yellowcard

64.   “Caution, police line, you better not cross! Is it the cop or am I the one who’s really dangerous?” – Warning, Green Day

65.   “You’re not quite Satan but I really think I hate you” – Both Sides of the Story, We Are The In Crowd

66.   “Will you kiss me on the porch in front of all your stupid friends? If you kiss me, will it be just like I dreamed it? Will it patch your broken wings?” – betty, Taylor Swift

67.   “Nicotine and faded dreams Baby there’s no one else like me” – Say You Like Me, We The Kings

68.   “That smile that made me believe But you were lying through your teeth” – Is She Better, Caitlin Hart

69.   “So every day now, you brace for the sounds you only heard on TV You go to class scared, wondering where the best hiding spot would be” – Only The Young, Taylor Swift

70.   “Soon I’ll have to go I’ll never see him grow But I hope my son will know My love is set in stone” – Heart Of Stone, Six

71.   “Been trying to cover this hear out on my sleeve Been set on playing this down but I think you’re catching onto me” – Lie A Little Better, Lucy Hale

72.   “I used to believe, in the days I was naïve That I’d live to see a day of justice dawn And though, I will die long before that moment comes I’ll die while believing still, it will come when I am gone” – Someday, Hunchback of Notre Dame

73.   “I close my eyes and all I see is you I close my eyes, I try to sleep I can’t forget you” – I’d Do Anything, Simple Plan

74.   “Welcome to a new kind of tension All across the idiot nation Everything isn’t meant to be okay” – American Idiot, Green Day

75.   “Somehow something gave you the nerve to touch my hand It’s nice to have a friend” – It’s Nice To Have a Friend, Taylor Swift

76.   “Stop fucking around with my emotions” – The Irony of Choking On a Lifesaver, All Time Low

77.   “If you can just explain a single thing I’ve done to cause you pain I’ll go” – No Way, Six

78.   “Don’t listen to the voices in your head Listen to your heart” – Listen To Your Heart, The Maine

79.   “If you wanna piss of your parents Date me to scare them Show them you’re all grown up” – 18, Annarbor

80.   “Remember when you broke your foot from jumping out the second floor?” – I’m Not Okay, MCR

81.   “Please leave me stranded It’s so romantic” – New Romantics, Taylor Swift

82.   “Not for us, we made a pact Death meet fear” – Love You Wrong, Sumo Cyco

83.   “Shade never made anybody less gay” – You Need To Calm Down, Taylor Swift

84.   “You push my love away like it’s some kind of loaded gun But you never thought I’d run” – Better Man, Little Big Town

85.   “You’re walking suicide You make me lose my heart and lose my mind” – Loose Cannon, Sumo Cyco

86.   “Every year when October comes around and it gets colder out I grab my favourite hoodie There’s still a hole from when you borrowed it You used to sleep in it ‘cause it reminded you of me” – Nostalgic, Simple Plan

87.   “I will be brave I will not let anything take away what’s standing in front of me” – A Thousand Years, Christina Perri

88.   “But I feel so alive with these phantoms of night And I know that this life isn’t safe but it’s wild and free” – Beautiful Ghosts, Taylor Swift

89.   “Went home and tried to stalk you on the internet Now I’ve read all of the books beside your bed” – Paper Rings, Taylor Swift

90.   “It’s nice to know we had it all Thanks for watching as I fall And letting me know we were done” – My Happy Ending, Avril Lavigne

91.   “And do you still think of me when I’m not there? Oh how could I still feel this way after all these years?” – Sleepy Kisses, Candy Hearts

92.   “Jaw breaker, you got the kiss that I wanna savour” – Candy Store, Faber Drive & Ish

93.   “As I walked out on the ledge Are you scared to death to live?” – Still Breathing, Green Day

94.   “Write me off, give up on me Darling, what did you expect? I’m just off, a lost cause, long shot Don’t even take this bet” – A Little Less Sixteen Candles, Fall Out Boy

95.   “Barefoot in the kitchen Sacred new beginnings that became my religion” – Cornelia Street, Taylor Swift

96.   “And I still talk to you When I’m screaming at the sky” – my tears ricochet, Taylor Swift

97.   “Now that I’m losing hope And there’s nothing else to show” – Pressure, Paramore

98.   “And if I open my heart to you Will you show me what to do?” – A Way Back Into Love, Hayley Bennet & Hugh Grant

99.   “Stopped running, started walking instead It was all in my head, nothing’s against me This war was more civil, I realised I had to secede from both sides” – Arrows, Fireworks

100.           “I like when you get mad I guess I’m pretty glad that you’re alone You say she’s scared of me? Well, I don’t see what she sees but maybe it’s ‘cause I’m wearing your cologne.” – Bad Guy, Billie Eilish