#//i'm super anxious about it because i don't know how well received it's gonna be but like. my muse just isn't as high for varian anymore

[static-arz]

What are the relationship of Li with Mk and others and Shen too if its alright?(Sorry I'm just really invested in your oc's🥺✨)

DON'T BEE I LOVE TALKING ABT THEM 🥹❤

Also phew this one is gonna long answer so prepare! :'D,

1. Note: Li makes his first appearance in mid season 2 while Shen makes his first appearance in mid season 4!

Li Xin:

Mei dragon:

Just like I wrote on his sheet, she's Li's childhood bestie and are super close, for Li she's seen as a possible love interest too! Problem is that he's too scared to say anything and doesn't wanna ruin the long friendship they share so he loves her in silence :')

MK:

Just like the rest, Li only knows him through Mei. At first, Li was doubting him and judging him in all ways, didn't really like him at first because he thought he was the only best friend Mei had lmao he was kind of jealous tbh.

But around season 3 Li sees MK as an close friend too! The moment MK had to start figuring things on his own, that is when Li was able to relate to him a lot. He would often try to mentally support him and just be there for him as much as he needed. He adores the way he is and also apologizes to him for his behavior and now he's extra caring for him. uvu

Monkey King/Sun Wukong:

Nope. Not even a bit. For Li monkey King is a burden. He gets to learn about him throughout the season 2, 3 and 4 and he is not very convinced by him. He often try to avoid talking to him and be annoyed with his presence alone. He only sees the bad traits instead of the good ones. In the end of season 4 he does get to learn more about him, but stays natural towards him. So he doesn't really see him as friend.

Tang:

For Li he's sorta a mutual than a close friend. He doesn't bond with him much but they had their moments too. Li gets to see his troubles too and notices his lack of confidence. He often try to tell him the opposite though. By now you'd know that Li is sort of the therapy friend of the bunch.

Pigsy:

Just like Tang a mutual. he would often take advice from him when it comes to cooking because Li had to microwave his food most of the time because he is a student. He'd love to learn how to cook proper meals for his health and regrets never learning it from his parents. Pigsy gladly teaches him as well. Li also learns quickly and he's thankful he's here too.

Sandy:

Li sees him as a close mutual. At first he was quite suspicious of him because he never saw so much kindness before. Almost made him believe that guy is not what he seems to be. He actually had a lot of doubts in everyone but slowly he warmed up to him too and saw a genuine kind individual. Since he received pain and suffering most of the time he often got fooled by people who pretended to be kind. He's glad Sandy is not that person and never will be. He appreciates his presence too.

Red son:

He doesn't wanna admit it but pretty sure he's part of them too! When first met in S3 Li gets super suspicious of him too. Especially after hearing about what he did in the past with the others he quickly becomes protective and alert of his friends safety. Soldier instinct he has. He didn't really like him at first and was neutral about him until in the special episode: embrace your destiny, he sees him as ally once seeing how much he helped. Especially Mei since Li gets super anxious and even more protective once he saw Mei struggling with the fire of Samadhi.

2. Note: As for everyone else he was able to meet throughout the adventures with MK and the others, he'd stay natural and takes time to warm up to anyone that is seen as ally, and he will be protective and shielding against the enemies.

Shen Xiaotian:

Let's say that his relationship with MK and the others is a mix of hatred and adoration. He pities MK but at the same time he can't help but feel pleasure when watching him suffer because he thinks he deserves it. Shen sees him as a corny hero but at the same time Shen wishes he was that type. For the rest he isn't very impressed by them but more annoyed. Especially with Li because for some reason Li caught his attention shortly. There is not much to say about Shen and his relationship with Mk and the others since he freshly appears in season 4.

As for Monkey King, he's a different case. Shen first met him when he caught him stealing peaches of immortality. Back then Shen was a passionate celestial warrior so he'd definitely try to catch that monkey. For sure he failed. He was a nuisance to him and still is. Yet he does adores the way of his rebellious acts. But Shen is even more unhinged than Monkey King so when he finds out how "weak" be became he instantly gets disgusted by him.

Phew! That was a lot to write! Took me almost an hour! Excuse my spelling mistakes, I am quite fast in typing and english is not my first language! :'D. But yeah, let me know if something is unclear I try to explain it more!

[linawritestwst]

Ah! Congrats on 1k! I'm so happy for you! Here's to many more! 💙

I'd like a matchup, but if you get too overwhelmed, scrap mine and do a different one, I promise I'll be okay 😂

Pronouns are she/her, mbti INTJ and Zodiac is Libra.

Personality : I like to joke that the only personality I have left is "tired" 😂 But other things about me are, I'm a little wary of new people, but once you're in I'm ridiculously loyal (like a cat). I take care of everyone before myself. Think mom friend. I'm kind of a nerd....(don't look at my blog it'll out me as a huge nerd, just trust me) . My only hobbies right now are writing and video games, but I have a "secret" past as a reader, and a theatre kid. I have been described as "the darkest lightest person I've ever met" "if you were a puppy at a shelter, I'd adopt you" and "you got that fae vibe, like if I give you my name or say the wrong thing, you'll own my soul." I can't make decisions and have memory issues. I like dragons too much, and I hope to one day afford to dress like a well educated pirate, who still pillages the village, but waxes on about the state of humanity as she drinks chamomile tea. A pirate witchy dark princess vibe, you know?(idk if that helps 😂)

What I need in a partner/don't need:

I am heavily introverted and socially anxious...but I only make friends when an extrovert just adopts me. So I probably need an extrovert, or an assertive introvert.

Imy love language (receiving) is quality time and words of affirmation, and (giving) gift giving and words of affirmation.

I have lots of texture issues, so maybe someone who's not super touchy. They can be a little touchy, though, since this is fictional.

Someone not to loud too. I get panic attacks when startled, and cry around loud noises sometimes. (Oh my God, I'm literally a rabbit 😭)

Silly things about me for if you are having writers block: I'm 5'3 1/4", I have been told I have the worst handwriting in the world, I am known for tripping over nothing, I don't sit still for long, I get distracted by shiny things and cats, I hate to be warm, and love the cold, my friend and I write modern comedy adaptations of Shakespeare, and other literature.

Hope this is enough. Again, congratulations!!!!!!!!!!

thank you so much!! 🥺💖💞 i hope you like your matchup <3

the character that i think would be a good partner for you is..

malleus draconia!

now, this one might seem obvious or predictable because of your pfp but!! i really do think you and malleus would be a cute couple!!

i'll explain why i chose him:

okay, yeah, malleus would definitely appreciate having a loyal partner. your kindness is one of the many reasons why he loves you, but he'd want you to take care of yourself too though :( and don't worry about being a nerd!! he's a nerd too!! have you seen how his eyes light up whenever gargoyles are mentioned?? and he would love to know more about your interests, he doesn't think they're "boring" or "weird" at all!

oh, this man would want to protect you from everything so bad. he's surely intrigued by that mysterious energy you have, but he still focuses more on that soft and cute puppy vibe. because come on, he's malleus draconia, he's the one with the dark fae energy here HJSHJNDJDJD. and you liking dragons makes him so happy because it means you most likely won't find his dragon form scary! also i find it cute to imagine you two sharing a braincell because i think it's not that easy for malleus to make decisions sometimes, haha. though he would probably wait for you to decide, because he just really wants to agree with you and go "!! you're right!! we're gonna go with this option then :)" so take your time, don't worry, he's very patient when it comes to you at least

i don't think that malleus is that extroverted, but he would probably be a more assertive kind of introvert when you're around. and i think malleus is sort of.. "forced" to be an introvert? considering that he wants to socialize, make friends and attend parties and events, but he doesn't always have the opportunity.. also, he just gets that protective instinct when he sees you, so yeah, you're adopted now. about your texture issues, malleus would make sure to respect your boundaries and even though he would love to hug you/hold your hand/etc, he doesn't want to hurt you, so he will be careful! he can express his love for you in other ways too :) and he's not the loudest kind of person, so you don't have to worry about that either!

[alchemyready]

OKAY. I’m sorry to keep posting stuff like this, but this is actually a super important update.

The TL;DR is I’m probably gonna be putting this blog on hiatus and moving Varian to a multi, but leaving this blog up in case I ever want to go back to it.

Now for the more long winded explanation ‘cause I’m sure y’all are going “BUT WHY?”

Right, so in my last blog update, I said that I was struggling with two problems. One is burnout, which comes and goes. But I’ve kind of been breaking through that issue a little bit thankfully.

And then there’s the other thing that happened. I went through what I’m calling a ‘fandom crisis’ for a little bit, where I was kind of bouncing between three different fandoms that wanted to become my main.

I was hoping to be able to evenly juggle them all, but my brain just doesn’t work that way. Eventually Ib won out over the other two, and now I’m kind of way back down in that hole again.

Because of that, my muse for Varian has gone WAY down. I haven’t lost his muse entirely, but he isn’t my priority anymore. I really didn’t want this to happen, but I have a history of switching main fandoms like this, so I knew it was probably gonna wind up happening eventually.

So, that leaves me in a spot where I need to decide what I want to do. I have high muse for the muses from Ib right now, specifically Garry and Mary. All of the Ib kids (+ a bunch of my other side muses) are on @bathedinobscurity​, but I’m having trouble getting that blog off of the ground because of how dead the fandoms are for the muses I have on that blog.

I think I might be able to get a little further with it if I could seek people out and follow them first, because I’ve found Ib fans in the strangest places before while doing that. (on my old Garry blog I followed a Gravity Falls blog and low and behold the mun was a fan of Ib! That was super fun.)

But that would require making my multimuse my main blog. Which is what I want to do, but if I did that without moving Varian over, I probably wouldn’t be active on him at all because I tend to stay logged into the blog I’m the most active on. (Hence why my old personal has been dead for a whole year LOL.)

So, I came to the consensus that what I should do is what I said I was gonna do in the TL;DR. Move Varian to the multi so that I still have easy access to him, put his single muse blog on hiatus, and pack my bags and move over to the multimuse for awhile. Maybe permanently, because then if I switch main fandoms AGAIN I won’t have to make an entirely new account.

I know you guys are probably gonna be super frustrated with me for doing this, and I’m so sorry. But it feels like the best option for me at the moment. I hope some of you at least follow me over when I move.

The url will be the same as my current multi, but it may be awhile before I finish setting it up because I’m gonna try and put a little more effort to it than I did the sideblog when I made it. That was highkey an impulse project when I still thought this blog was gonna be my priority.

As always, I love you guys!<3 Hope to roleplay with you again soon. -Color.

[chasingpj]

𝐞𝐱𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬

pairing: leo valdez x gn reader

summary: five ways he says i love you through his actions

warnings: implied nudity and s*x, discusses food and eating and nothing else, i think. oh, and maybe some typos

category: headcanons

love letters/notes

leo is a busy boy

he's always picking up new projects so he can spend all day in his workshop or the forges with his siblings

when you guys live together, he leaves small notes on the refrigerator for you

they're always short, saying simple things like "i love you" and "i miss you already"

for the love letters, he'll leave them in random places for you to find

if you're a big reader, i can see him hiding it between the pages of your book

one day, you pick up your book to read, and the note falls on your lap

it's a love letter written on a piece of blueprint paper; there’s a little bit of oil smudged on the side of it

he got distracted while he was working on something because you were the only thing he could think about

his love letters never fail to make your heart flutter

sometimes they make you cry

he's quite sentimental

leo always tells you he does better writing down his feelings than he is saying it out loud because he can organize his thoughts better

you know that leo has a hard time with that because of how he grew up

when you guys have an argument, which isn't very often, he writes his feelings down on paper

he's always quick to apologize if he did something wrong, and the notes help him form the apology that you deserve, and you're quick to forgive him

once, you were super angry after an argument, so you locked yourself in your shared bedroom

you needed to calm yourself down

the both of you much too angry and stubborn to make a compromise

as your recollecting yourself, 40 minutes in, a folded piece of paper slips from under the door

the letter has teardrop stains, and the ink is slightly smudged

on the paper, it's all his thoughts written out in the best way he can explain them

after reading what he wrote, you quickly deemed that whatever you were fighting about was silly, and you guys made up

you love his spontaneous notes so much that you do them back

you guys have a game of who can find the most creative hiding spot for your notes

one time you found one tapped to the inside of the toilet cover

you found it hilarious

you throw folded post-its with messages in his tool belt

he finds them during the day while he's working on something

after you joined in on the fun, he scatters notes in random places, and every few days, you find a new message hidden somewhere randomly

they're just so sweet; there’s never a time where they don't make you smile

gifts

this is a given

it's not a leo headcanon if gift-giving isn't included

he would make you things like roses from scrap metal to literal furniture

if you have a lot of jewelry, he will make you a cute jewelry box

if you're a big book reader, he'll make you bookcases to support your book collection

he's always giving you little trinkets that he made with leftover materials from projects

he loves making things for you and gets upset when you decide to buy something from ikea instead of asking him

"babe, why would you buy that? I could have just made it for you!"

when he's on his way from returning on his quest, sometimes he'll find something that reminds him of you in a store, and he'll buy it

when he has the money for it, he'd buy you a star :(

says that he spent even more money to buy an extra bright star

because "you're the sun in my universe"

brb gonna cry

also, he'd gift you a bond bracelet

you know, those bracelets where every time you tap on it, it makes the other person's bracelet vibrate

the both of you get anxious when one of you goes on quests, so the bracelets bring the other person who's at home comfort

because when you tap back, at least he knows you're alive and vice versa

one of the best gifts you've ever received from him was your engagement ring

he made it himself

he took so much care and effort into making it

imagine leo forging your wedding ring himself??? i'm in spain with no s

he was so nervous that you wouldn't like the style, so he had piper casually bring it up to you

piper was so nonchalant about it that you didn't even think twice about the question

the ring has the prettiest gemstone or diamond (whatever you prefer)

you cried so hard when he told you he made it himself that you couldn't even say yes to his proposal clearly

he makes both of your wedding bands too

he carves a saying that's dear to the both of you on the inside

this is nothing to do with anything but imagine when you guys have kids, he makes animals out of pipe cleaners for them i'm gonna cry, brb pt 2

overall, whether he makes the present himself or not, he puts a lot of effort and care into it

every gift has a meaning and a place dear to your heart

cooking for you

leo is canoningly a good cook

he loves cooking for you

and you love eating what he makes

he's usually busy on the weekdays, so he cooks on the weekends

you guys always joke that he'd be the cutest househusband

you got him an apron for Christmas as a joke gift one year, and he wears it all the time

there's something so charming about him wearing an apron with a funny saying like "Mr. Good Lookin is Cookin" or with like a ripped out shirtless guy in front of it

you giggle every time you see him wearing it

oh, no matter how many times you've seen it, it's still so bizarre when he takes out hot trays from the oven with his BARE hands

everything he makes tastes amazing

he makes all kinds of food and is always trying something new

if you tell him what you’re craving, he’ll cook it for you

once he woke you up to ask if you wanted ribs… it was 3 am but like, of course, you wanted some

unless you're vegetarian or vegan, sorry, HAHA

often though, he does make Mexican food

it reminds him of when his mom was alive

he always has some story to share

every time he makes caldo de pollo (chicken soup), he always talks about how his mother would make it in the summer and that when he was little, he would always complain about eating hot soup in hot weather

you know he doesn't notice his constant telling of this story, but you don't mind

it's so bittersweet when he talks about his mom

through the cooking of his traditional food, you feel closer to him and his late mother

the memories he shares with you makes your eyes sting with tears

especially when leo says how much he wishes that esperanza could have met you

sorry, that was a little emo

also, leo usually wakes up earlier than you

he knows you're a sleepyhead, so he'll cook breakfast for you

so that when you're running around in the morning trying to get dressed and your things together

you never leave the house hungry because there's always a tupperware filled with breakfast, and if he has enough time, he'll fix you something to take for lunch too

if you come home late from work or school, he'll make dinner even if he's tired to surprise you

so many times you've come home from a shitty day at work or school, and the small table where you guys eat your meals is all set up with your favorite food

leo greets you by peeking his head into the hallway from the kitchen, tossed curls, cheerful brown eyes, and a bright grin

"I hope you're hungry," he says, despite knowing that you are hungry

and then you guys talk and laugh together over a delicious meal

compliments

leo's really observant

he notices when you’re in a bad mood, even if you try not to show it

he also notices when you change little things about your appearance

if you get a haircut or you get your nails done, he'll comment on it right away

especially outfits

if you buy something new, he'll complement it

imagine standing in front of the mirror, looking at yourself in your new outfit

leo comes behind you, his hands coming around your waist

he'll pepper kisses on your neck, a soft hum leaving his lips as he meets your eyes in the mirror

"is this new, mi amor?" he asks, hands running up your sides

once you affirm that it is a new dress or shirt, he'll smile and tell you how beautiful you look in it

maybe says he'd rather see it off of you wink wink

there's never a day where he doesn't compliment you

he thinks you're the prettiest person in the world

you've caught him staring at you lovingly plenty of times

he's just asking himself how did he manage to get someone as beautiful and amazing as you

you always squirm under his gaze and playfully ask what is he looking at

"you're so pretty, mi amor. I can't help it."

AHHH!!!!

alongside the endearment of mi amor, he'd always call you bonita and hermosa

you're so sweet to him, and he can't help but tell you how much you mean to him every chance he gets

surprises

leo is an acts of service kind of guy

i think he'll spontaneously do things to make you happy

if you've been busy studying for finals or just beat up from a day at work

he'll draw you a bath

or he'll cut up some fruit for you and leave it at your desk

he randomly buys you flowers

he never needs an occasion to buy your flowers

it'll be a regular tuesday, leo just happened to walk past a store with flowers displayed in the front, and he thought about how bright your smile would be if he showed up with a bouquet

I feel like he's pretty introverted, enjoys being at home with you

the both of you are pretty broke for a while, so a lot of dates were at home

leo made the most of it

you guys will have nice dinners at home

he'll set the table nicely, set the mood with candles

he'll redecorate the space so well you feel like you're at an actual restaurant

and of course, his food is amazing

breakfast in bed is another thing he'd do for you unsolicited

especially if you guys had a looong night wink wink

you're woken up by his still groggy voice, fluttering kisses on your cheeks

you open your eyes to see he's set a tray with your favorite breakfast on top of the bed

the two of you will eat breakfast together, which usually leads to you staying in bed for the rest of the day

just enjoying the warm cocoon your sheets create around the both of you

overall, he's super observant and caring, and he goes the extra mile to make sure you're happy because he knows you do the same

anyways, does anyone know where I can get a leo?

masterlists taglist: @nct127bee @minamisulemisa @yanfeisluvr @cartocns @Slytherclaw-kitten @idk-bye-no @percysbluehairbrush @Hermioneswifeee @quteez @drayshadow @ashookykooky

[howggswouldreact]

🏥 The Personification of Our Love | Kim Lip

Request: kim lip x reader where the reader is pregnant and goes into labor pls ~~~ love your blog ♡♡♡♡ Plot: Jungeun is waiting at the Hospital while Reader is in labor. Jungeun's mind flies to loving memories. Words: 2, 222 Genre: fluff, pregnancy Notes: i use to say "i loved writing this one" because i really do love writing things you all request me. and i loved writing this one. i love to write about things that involve family and friendship, etc. this one is the type to make my heart feel at peace... i hope you enjoy it and have a nice read! ♡♡

Maybe Jungeun shouldn't keep her eyes open for so long, without blinking. At least that's what Haseul was telling her all the time, but she wouldn't be aware of what her friend was saying until hours later, when the white doors were opened and a person wearing blue from head to toe told her that she was finally allowed to enter. For now, she had her hands cupped over her mouth, her feet tapping the floor in a frantic rhythm, her heart pumping blood like crazy.

Why couldn't things be like in the movies, where she could just have a camera filming everything that was going on in that room?

How was it going? How were you? And how was the baby? GOD, WAS THE BABY OKAY?

The movements of her feet accelerated even more and she felt the touch of a hand resting very cautiously on her knee.

"Stop doing that, you're looking like a maniac!", Hyejoo's voice, impatient and at the same time anxious, sounded beside Jungeun.

"I think I'm having a nervous breakdown.", she replied in a low voice, sweat forming on the corner of her forehead.

A huge, vibrant smile appeared in the blonde's vision and warm hands took hers, that were cold, in an affectionate squeeze. Jiwoo.

"How about if we go get something to eat? I'm sure there must be anything good in these machines full of food.”, said her longtime friend.

With a nod and letting Jiwoo guide her, Jungeun was pulled by the arm to a vending machine in the corner of the waiting room. While, in her mind, Jungeun was pulled for a few moments before what would be the greatest moment of her life (along with her wedding day, of course).

8 AM, same day

"Christ! It’s like I'm about to explode!", you said, putting your hand on your belly and feeling a twinge in your back.

"A beautiful, healthy child is going to appear from this explosion...", Jungeun started to speak, slowly approaching the bed, leaning on one knee and then the other. "And this child is very...", her hands landed on your belly, one of them over your right hand. "... very loved!"

"And we haven't even thought about the name of this beloved child yet."

You looked at her with a disapproving gaze.

"I don't want to decide anything right now because I think it will be more exciting to take this important decision when the time comes.", Jungeun shrugged without looking at you, she was very busy stroking your belly button.

"Maybe if you just let me..."

"Don't even think about it. This baby is mine too, you know?", the irritated tone disappeared from Jungeun's voice when her eyes met the playful glow of yours. She smiled.

"You know I would never make a decision like that without you, right?"

She nodded and lifted her body so she could kiss you, but there was a huge belly between the two of you - with a baby on the way in - and you started to laugh.

"Ahhhh!! So close yet so far!", dramatized Jungeun, as she lay down beside you and kissed your forehead and then your lips. "Now, close enough."

10 PM, the day before

"I still can't believe you chose this crackhead to be our baby's godmother...", you whispered to Jungeun, leaning on the doorframe while watching Jiwoo dancing some children's music and doing a super choreography in front of a camera.

Jungeun smiled at you.

"It's not like you didn't say 'oh, babe, I would never forgive you if I didn't choose Jiwoo to be our baby’s godmother', right?"

All the girls were there, they decided to have the first “Girls’ Pajama Party with the Baby” even before the baby was born. Not that you didn't love the idea, but to see Jiwoo carrying that camera everywhere was hilarious. You wouldn't miss an opportunity to make fun of it.

"You have to understand that I have hormones. Many! And they are crazy running back and forth, telling me what to do all the time! It's not like everything I say is valid while pregnant. Plus: I didn’t know she would do this Good Luck Charlie sort of thing."

With a mischievous look, Jungeun brought her face close to yours, smiling like a mischievous child.

"So it means that I am right deciding that the baby's one-year birthday should be Taeyeon-themed."

You gave her an angry look.

"I've been carrying our beautiful baby for nine months. If it were to honor someone on their one-year anniversary, it should be me."

A warm laugh from the bottom of Jungeun's heart filled your ears. She came over and wrapped her right arm around your waist while her left hand was over your protruding belly. None of you had reached such a full level of happiness like this before.

"Don't worry... Taeyeon won't be a party theme, I promise." she kissed your face. "It's so easy to annoy you lately. But there's no need to worry. The one-year anniversary theme will be Harry Potter, anyways."

You rolled your eyes trying to hide a smile. Jungeun noticed it. She always did. She smiled back and stroked your belly once more. It was difficult to know which of you two was most anxious for the family to be finally complete.

5 months ago

"Come on, say something very beautiful and with enough meaning, because then I will edit with a ballad song in the background."

Jiwoo was pointing the camera at you, whose lips were covered with doritos crumbs and ice cream, while Jungeun held up a jar of that same ice cream that you dipped the spoon from time to time.

"I can only think of how bizarre these mixtures become each month, I have no idea what beautiful things I can say.", Jungeun spoke while giving you a judgmental look. “I can’t believe my baby is eating… this.”

"Just say my name, so you will say one of the most beautiful things in the world.", you replied, raising your eyebrows as you dipped the tip of the doritos in the pistachio green and put it whole in your mouth.

"Grooooooss.", Jiwoo hummed as she turned the camera to her face. "I hope you don't have to deal with this often."

You two were at Heejin's apartment, decided to stop by as you were walking around the neighborhood looking for that ice cream flavor. Yeojin and Jiwoo went to meet you. This was yet another visit for the future "aunts" of the baby to come.

"I will definitely deal with them to keep you safe." Yeojin noted, beside Jiwoo and staring at the camera.

"Don't worry. We will protect you from anything that might negatively affect you, even if it means taking you away from these delinquents' arms." Heejin said, joining the other two.

"An army against us?", Jungeun asked as you put one of those doritos in her mouth.

They giggled. Another scene for the baby's life documentary, directed exclusively by Kim Jiwoo.

7 months ago

"Well... maybe we should... maybe we should buy baby things? Or set up the baby's room?", You suggested, astonished by the news that, finally, you were going to have a baby.

With the results of the exam in hands, Jungeun was very quiet on the way home. Parking the car in the garage of the building where you lived together, you waited for an answer to your questions.

Pregnant? Who knew you would be pregnant? Well, it was your dream two months ago. You both decided to make this dream come true. But it was a short while ago, actually. And you were not expecting a positive response so quickly. On the first try? Wow! This was really fast.

You noticed Jungeun's trembling hands and, now that you were pregnant, you would have a child of both of you, increasing the "family with our shape" because it's gonna be "the personification of your love", as the blonde said a few times. You wondered if she regretted it. After all, it would affect both your lives on a large scale, even though it was, at the moment, no more than the size of a bean.

"Look, I... I understand if you don't want to say anything. I will respect your space, but I thought it was our decision and..."

"Could you excuse me for a moment?", Jungeun said, in a whispering voice, and getting out of the car.

You understood that you shouldn't go after her and you were left with no reaction to her words. Meanwhile, outside the car, in the light of the vehicle's white headlights, the blonde of exuberant beauty and small body read the exam again, a growing smile on the pink lips that you loved to kiss so much.

Suddenly, to your shock, she let out a cry mixed with laughter and jumped in the air. It was as if, there, in that deserted garage and with you in the car, there was a space where Jungeun could celebrate it with vivacity. She was just so full of joy!

She was just as happy as you are, obviously! She just needed to find a place to outsource it, a moment when she could be free, a place where she could celebrate it!

Jungeun's hands held the test results as if they were holding the most precious thing in her life. And, somehow, it was.

You flashed the headlights in sync with her leaps and, watching her body turn to the car, her dark brown eyes staring into the glass, you knew what she would say and you both said at the same time, in a whisper only your hearts could hear.

"I love you."

Back to Present – 3 AM

Keeping a packet of m&m's in her jacket pocket, saving it for you to eat later, Jungeun finished eating a strawberry cereal bar, chewing slowly as the girls entered into a conversation to try to calm their spirits. In fact, everyone there was looking forward to you and the baby being well and being able to receive visitors as soon as possible.

Jinsoul told a story of her adolescence and the girls highlighted some parts, asked a few things and laughed. But Jungeun's mind was just a few feet from that waiting room.

Were you in pain? Was the baby finding the way out safely? Was the baby healthy? Were you okay?

She had no way of knowing. She went to the bathroom, the girls followed the blonde head with concern as she crossed the room to the door with a blue sign written "toilet".

When closing the door already inside the bathroom, every sound coming from outside was isolated. Jungeun turned the tap on and felt the cascade of water flowing through her fingers, finding some calm with that, since the only person who could give her the biggest amount of peace was in labor.

She washed her face and dried it with paper, stared at her reflection and realized she was pale. She would only regain color when she could finally see you and the baby.

She put her hand on the door handle again, turning it, and when she closed the door behind her, she noticed that all the girls were standing, staring at the beginning of the corridor. Her face turned in the same direction, where a nurse was standing still, noticed the movement of the woman's lips and the signal for her to follow her on a path. That woman would take Jungeun's to where her heart belonged.

"I wish you were with me... with us at the moment…", you whispered.

"The nurses didn't let me in, babe, but I'm here now..."

Jungeun was almost crouched beside the bed, her face close to yours. She reached up and stroked your cheekbones, touching your forehead with hers.

“How was it?”, she asked.

“It was like I was shitting a coconut.”

Her throat exploded with a pleasurable laugh, making you laugh along, even though you felt a lot of pain in your entire body. Tiredness was overwhelming you, but not enough to see your baby again.

"I only saw our baby for about 5 seconds and I was barely able to see that little face before they did the cleaning and exams."

Your voice was a whisper and Jungeun shook her head, as if she told you not to worry about it, and then she gave you a peck.

When the nurse came into the room and placed the baby in your arms, Jungeun was already crying. She never thought that your love could take on a human shape, so small, fragile and beautiful.

"Oh, God... I love you both so much..." she said, letting those strong tears run down her clean face as she bent down to kiss the top of the baby's head very gently.

That little body, with small hands, gripped her finger firmly and you knew that you would not let anything in the world do anything to destroy that purity. Jungeun felt the same way. Somehow, you knew that. You felt that. Perhaps because you had known her for a long time. Perhaps it was because of love. But you did knew. And she also knew that, whatever happened, her family would always be the homewhere your hearts could rest.

[flamingo-writes]

Pannacotta Fugo — General and Relationship Headcanons.

I have no clue when did I start simping for this guy, having finished Golden Wind almost a month ago 💀 And there aren't enough fics or hc's about him, so I'm gonna make my addition to this. Also because I headcanon Fugo to be slightly different than what most fics portray him as.

Some of this headcanons were based on the backstory given to Fugo on the light novel, not the one he was given in the anime. You can read this post where both backstories are explained and analyzed.

Fugo x Gn!Reader

General

Listen, he's a kind person. He's gentle and empathetic. He took a wounded Narancia into the restaurant and asked Bruno to feed him, he also helps Nara study, so, Fugo cares. He really does.

He genuinely wants to become a good person, unlike his parents. Reason why he'll never treat anyone the way his parents treated him. Unfairly, continuously pushing them,

Fugo is short fused, and has issues managing his anger. But for the most part, his raging fits, whether they're uncontrollable, they're still brief.

He still is someone who acknowledges other's effors. While his family wasnt kind acknowledging his intelligence, Fugo however, is kind when acknowledging others.

He was the kid who was always under pressure, highly controlled by his parents, which made him a quiet kid, but a rebellious teen. He's still quiet, and for the most part, avoids conflict, but isn't afraid of throwing punches if necessary.

Listen, Fugo is touch starved. I don't make the rules. As a kid he barely recieved physical affection, pretty much only his grandmother gave it to him. He finds himself craving physically affection.

He's a genius and he knows it, but he hates being treated like one. He is after all a teenager and wishes to be treated as such.

Fugo is laid back, and can take a joke, even, sometimes joins Mista's and Nara's bullshit.

He is cautious tho. He'll go along with the bullshit until he realizes they're about to get in trouble.

He's got a bit of a low self esteem. He knows he's intelligent, and he knows he can rely in said intelligence. However, he still struggles to overcome the years and years of gaslighting from his parents. He knows he's more than his IQ, but sometimes, it's hard for him to realize his worth aside of it.

Relationship

He has issues opening up to people. Getting to trust someone isn't much of an issue, he's analytical and easily see if someone is trustworthy. The issue is opening up.

This is because of how controlling his parents were. His past haunts him, and wishes to forget about it. So, if he opens up to you, please be kind, listen.

Once he's opened up, you'll become his most trusted ally. He sucks at comuniting his feelings, he won't be able to understand them himself, but he will let you know if he's feeling anxious and uneasy.

He's an inexperienced teenager, so, he doesn't really know how relationship work. He knows only what he's seen from the outside.

Fugo is delicate. And he needs constant reassurance that he's doing well, that he's a good boyfriend, and that you love him. Tell him he's doing great, and that you love him.

Hold him. He needs it. Hold his hand, hug him, paly with his hair, he loves the affection, and he needs it.

He's also too shy to ask for both reassurance and physical affection, so, you'll have to keep both going on a daily.

He'll never ever snap out on you. Somehow, he never gets to lose his control when it comes to you

Narancia realized this and started using you as a shield. And it worked.

He'll still sometimes get annoyed and raise his voice at you, but it's not on purpose, he didn't mean to.

You're his most precious. He'll refer to you by your name when talking to others. But when he's talking to you specifically, he'll call you his beloved.

At first Nara and Mista made fun of him. And Fugo got annoyed. But he never snapped at them about it. Mostly because you kept telling him to ignore them and how much you liked that pet name.

"My beloved..." He says it with a particular dreamy tone.

If you like to read, get ready for the amount of book recommendations he's gonna give you. He'll borrow you all of his books at some point. And he will ready any book you suggest. He'll also ask you to lend him books all the time.

You'll find pressed leaves or flowers randomly in his books. All of them collected from random places at random times. And he most likely forgot about them.

If you don't like to read, he'll still recommend you books. But always about the topics that interest you, and easy to read, nor too heavy books. However, he will make an effort to get you more into reading.

He randomly starts geeking about random topics he likes. One day, he'll start mumbling about the String Theory, multiverses, the laws of thermodynamics, how volcanoes are formed, or different historical events. And he will talk about them for hours without realizing it. It's super adorable. Listen! And ask him stuff! He'll love it.

If he doesn't know the answer, he surely will research it and tell you about it once he's learned about it.

When he finally notices he's been geeking about stuff for so long, he'll immediately apologize.

He really appreciates the tender moments. Quiet moments when its just the two of you, cuddling in either of your rooms, listening to music.

He really likes forehead kisses. Wether giving them or receiving them.

He prefers to be the small spoon, or to hide his face in your neck when cuddling. He feels protected. Please protect him.

But he will never deny you being the little spoon if you ask.

No matter how long you've been in a relationship, his kisses will always be shy in the beginning, wether if they get heated up or not, is a different story. All his kisses always start shy.

He really tries to be a good boyfriend, even if he sometimes has issues comuniting how he's feeling, or when he accidentally raises his voice at you over nothing, or when he's suddenly colder and wants to be alone, its just the way he is. He really tries to be a good boyfriend, he's never been in a relationship before, and really loves you, so he tries his best to be the partner you deserve.

[soccerbites]

listen to my heartbeat, JJ Maybank

masterlist in bio

a.n: i posted this a few months ago but it got deleted when i deactivated my old account, and it was a request, if you think it's familiar that's probably why :) english is not my first language so i apologize in advance for any mistake.

words count: 1,6k

warnings: swearing, lots of angst, death of a close family member.

(not my gif, if it's yours please tell me so i can give you credits)

You knew she shouldn't go to that trip, you told her not to but she didn't listen to you, as always.

After losing your dad a few years ago she was everything you had left.

You just couldn't believe it, your uncle told you on the phone call that your mum died in her sleep, sudden death, but it was senseless she was the most healthy person you've ever knew, she had a super strict diet and every morning ran around the neighborhood as a exercise form.

They say god takes from us the best people sooner, and you were starting to think they were right. At least she felt no pain.

I lifted my head to watch the wall clock, in any minute from now everyone would arrive at John B's as always, you were not going, not like that, not after what happened.

Your house was flooded with your hard crying as picture frames flew all over the room, making it a glass broken disaster, everything you saw ended slammed onto either a wall or the floor.

You kept on punching the kitchen table and all on it fell, the mug from where you drank your coffee earlier that day shattered on the floor, the sound of it making you more anxious; your anger filled every inch of your body at the same time you let your madness leave it by kicking and hitting things. You decided you had enough of that when you saw the blood from your knuckles slide over your hands.

You let you body fall in a corner, knees up to your chest and hands pulling your hair, screaming the word 'fuck' again and again.

"Y/N? are you here baby?" JJ's voice echoed through the now silent spaces of your home as you tried to stop sobbing so he'll think no one was there, "i know you're here, your bike is right beside me and you would never walk on your own right now" you hadn't notice how dark it was outside, you had spent the whole day crying in that little corner.

you didn't answer to him, hoping he would go away eventually.

"i'm coming in k love?" you hid your face with your blood covered hands trying to avoid his glare. It was not the first time he had seen you cry, but it was never this way, you were the one who comforted him and that led you to cry too 'cause you couldn't stand seeing your boyfriend so broken.

"he- what the fuck Y/N?" he ran towards you and tried to make you look at him "your hands are covered in blood love, what happened?" still no answer from you, "come on baby look at me" he begged you but you just moved your head side to side indicating a no.

"go away JJ i can handle this on my own" you mouthed between multiple sobs.

"i'm not sure about that baby" he started petting your head. "god, why do you always think you have to do everything on your own?" JJ whispered but you heard him.

"'cause i have to, i'm supposed to" you answered, still not looking at your golden boy.

"no you don't" he softly said while hugging you close to his chest, "why don't you tell me what happened so we can figure this out together?" you kept denying with your head.

It felt as if the room was becoming smaller with every second and breath you took.

"baby i need you to look at me and explain what's happening" your lovely boyfriend tried to convince you to talk to him.

"no, i can't" tears soaking JJ's t-shirt.

"why Y/N? now you're worrying me even more than when you didn't go to John B's" he kissed your head.

"'cause if i do it means it's real, if i say it out loud it becomes real" you grabbed your arms around the blonde boy's back harder.

"take deep breaths come on" he broke your hug and hold you by your shoulders as he searched for your eyes, you did as he told you and started paying attention on your breathing, "you're doing amazing, go on" JJ cheered on you, "you've always been strong for me, let me return the favor".

"shes is dead" you said finally looking to his beautiful blue eyes, "my mom is dead" tears fell down your cheeks again and JJ's eyes filled with them two.

He was shocked with what you were saying, he hugged you again, pressing your head over his chest, right were his heart was, JJ didn't want to say anything, he couldn't say nothing due to the fear of making everything even worse. Your boyfriend couldn't get it either, your mum was the kindest woman after you and also really young.

"my uncle said it was sudden, while she was sleeping" he rubbed your back, "no pain", the sobs, not only from you but also JJ now, were louder with every word you said "i told her JJ, i fucking told her not to go" you screamed, "i knew it, i had a bad feeling about it but she didn't listen to me, she never did" you pulled out of JJ's arms .

"it's my fault, it has to be" you punched the floor again and again, the golden boy didn't know what to do, and he hated himself for that; you were always there for him and now that you're the one who's drowning he doesn't know how to take you back to the surface, "WHY HER?! WHY HER AND NOT ME YOU ASSHOLE!" you screamed at the ceiling as if it was the sky and god could actually hear you.

"no, no baby don't say that" JJ grabbed you face with both his hands making you focus on his features, you threw yourself back to his arms and he gentle received you again, "i love you Y/N, don't say that ever again".

"i could have stopped her baby" you cried on his chest.

"sshh, just listen to my heartbeat, ok?" for the second time since he had arrived you did what he told you to and focused on his heartbeat and remembered all those times when you were the one holding him the way he was doing now, all the times he had listened to you heart and how that was the only thing that calmed him down. And you were now finding out that, the only thing that could pacify you was JJ's heartbeat as well.

"you better now?" he asked while looking down at you, your eyes were closed, he rubbed his thumb on your on your rosy and swollen face from all the crying you did, he smiled when you nodded, "that's my girl" he placed a lock of your hair behind your left ear and kissed your head multiple times.

"come on, take a deep breath, it's gonna be alright, we will get through this together as we always do" you nodded again, "it's not going to be easy but i'll be with you in every step of the way, yeah?"

"yeah" you simply and fast answered.

"i'm gonna help you shower, we will have some food and go to sleep" JJ looked up to the ceiling, his chin on your head, and held you tighter, "tomorrow morning we are going to clean up everything, and go to my house so i can pick up some clothes and stuff" he looked back at you, "i'm staying here as long as you want me to".

"that sounds nice" you said and glanced at your amazingly beautiful, caring and favorite person.

"it does right!?" JJ smiled at you, excited at how well you had relaxed that were finally able to talk without sobbing for the first time since he had arrived.

You both followed JJ's plan.

He took you to the bathroom firefighter style, not letting go any second, then helped you get undressed.

He was making sure the water was extra hot because he knew you liked it that way and you just stared at him the whole time. JJ washed your hair, being extremely careful trying not to hurt you, after that he cleaned your body.

You got dressed with some sweatpants, a white t-shirt and JJ's hoodie,

He made you sit on your bed and started doing your night skin care on your face, following every step you told him was next. When he was done he kissed the tip of your nose and gave you a peck on your lips just to after heat some noodles you both ate while laying down in bed and watching a very interesting show from Animal Planet, a channel JJ and you loved a lot.

Your boyfriend really helped you keeping your mind off of what had happened for like two hours, but, as you were laying with his hands on your waist, making you the little spoon; the bad feelings came back. He was the most important thing in your life right now and you were afraid of something bad happening to him, a tear fell from your eyes and down your cheeks at the thought of it.

"JJ?" you called him, almost whispering just in case he was already asleep.

"mhm" he mouthed and shifted his head as you turned to face him, his hands never leaving your body.

"can you promise me something?" he placed his free hand on your face; sensing the wet spot on your cheeks and just nodded, "please never leave me" he looked deeply into your eyes while rubbing his thumb on your waist and hugged you being scared of you crying again.

"it's ok, i'm here, i'll always be here"

Finally, after a very tiring day you managed to fall asleep on the arms of JJ, the great big love of your life.

[gra-sonas]

Hi! Can I just say that the thing I'm most thankful for today is you and your blog. It's literally the onlu tumblr I check every single day without fail & especially in times of turmoil your positivity just brings this peace. I'll be the 1st to admit that I'm not a fan of CAM, to say that I've disliked her since TVD is putting it mildly, but I just came from another blog and saw all these posts listing her faults. I know she's not perfect and I don't even like her but those posts weighed me down

2 so I just went back to your blog to reread all your positive response and I just wanted to say thank you. I didn't even expect to feel bad bec of criticism of CAM bec they were very valid points. But hammering it out after all these time is just heavy om the heart. I feel like what we need to do now is to move forward and heal and put her behind us. So I'm looking forward to any positive feeling or thoughts you'll be willing to share with us. You are a force of good and I'm sending you love

Goodness, I’ve received so much love yesterday, I’m feeling a bit overwhelmed that this continues. 😳Your message made me smile tho, and I thank you for your kind words, nonnie! It makes me happy to know that my blog brings you some comfort. ❤️❤️❤️

Ngl, we’ve had a bit of a rough year. First the S1 finale debacle, then a very long hiatus that left the fandom fractured, followed by a rather underwhelming season 2 - it’s no surprise that there’s currently a lot of bitterness being voiced, especially since CAM contributed in different, and sometimes quite significant ways to what’s upset people. Believe me, I too am still bitter about quite a few things.

But I don’t want to let that bitterness consume me, I don’t want to dwell on it, especially now, when there’s a clean cut and a somewhat promising future on the horizon. 

For my own peace of mind, I want to focus on positivity, the possibilities, and all the things I LOVE about the show and its characters. Because there’s still so much I love about RNM (the reason why I’m still here, even tho I didn’t watch S2). S3 won’t be on our screens for another year, and I’d rather try and enjoy the time as much as I can (I don’t want another hellatus...).

I got a lot of asks the night when news broke that she’d leave the show (more than 50 👀), and quite a few of them pointed out negative things about her, listed rumors about her behavior (some dating back to times prior to RNM), mentioned rude comments she’s made, stuff like that. And I’m okay with people sending me these kinds of asks (I get it, sometimes it just feels good to blow off steam). 

I didn’t publish them tho, bc like you, the negativity tends to weigh me down, and I don’t want to amplify it.

Tbh, I’m just really tired of being weighed down by negativity. The show did that to me for the longest time (especially the last couple of months), and CAM definitely did play her part in that. But she’s gone now, and I’m more than ready to move on. 

There’s nothing we can change about the past 2 seasons, none of the mistakes or writing choices that were made can be undone. Canon is what it is (minus that scene, I refuse to acknowledge its existence), and I more than understand that not everyone’s ready to move on yet, that some of that bitterness has to get out first, be discussed and maybe rehashed a couple more times - all in order to eventually let it go. 

I want to focus on the good things from now on tho. I want to fangirl, read fic,  write fic (haha, as if my muse would let me 😒DEAR MUSE, I HAVE A BIG BANG TO WRITE, PLS DON’T MAKE IT SO HARD FOR ME), make gifs, perhaps rewatch some S1 scenes. I want to swoon over Tyler, laugh at Vlamis, slowly get excited about S3 around the time they return to Santa Fe - just nurture the little seed of hope that things will be better next season.

I really do feel a lot more hopeful now. I’m not as anxious anymore, I don’t dread thinking about the future of the show like I used to. I’m well aware that even with a new show runner things can go sideways. Chris Hollier isn’t some savior who’s gonna magically fix all past mistakes and will never make any of his own.

He just seems a little less unpredictable, a little less “vindictive”, and a lot less thriving on misery, all things I appreciate. He’s also not constantly on social media to either “spy” on what fans are talking about, or barging in to “correct” us when we supposedly focus on the “wrong” things.

We may have lost the hot wire connection to the show runner, but imo that can be an advantage. I’m sure regardless of him not monitoring fan activity on Twitter and Tumblr 24/7, Chris is well aware of how important Malex are to fans, and he knows how important they are to Tyler and Vlamis. I believe he also knows about all the grievances fans have regarding making PoC the villains, mistreating Maria, sidelining characters, and so on.

He doesn’t have to be on social media to be aware of these things (many of the RNM writers are on social media, it would be a miracle if they didn’t talk about stuff like that in the writers room), and I hope he’s gonna fix some of the more glaring issues, and hopefully he’ll refrain from fucking up Malex (I believe they are in good hands with him tho).

Anyway, this got long and super rambly. Sorry, must’ve been something in the water this morning xD 

Here’s to a mostly enjoyable hiatus, what I can do to make it a little more silly and fun, I’ll do. ✨💚👽

[spampistefania]

stefania spampinato & volver transcripted livestream

Interviewer — Going to the USA is a dream for many actors, not everyone succeed in it, it’s a pipe dream. But our guest did it and it wasn’t even her main goal. Let’s hear it from her. Today we have Stefania Spampinato!

I — Hi Stefania, you’re beautiful!

Stefania – Good Morning!

I – How are you?

S – I’m fine! What about you?

I – So, why did I start with this song? I read a lot about you. We barely know each other, but I read about you because I wanted to know everything apart from the things you’ve already told me... So I found out that Brazilian songs make you happy. So I was thinking, what could I sing? I’m so bad at English, I tried every song..., “My way”, but then no, I wanted something happy, so I wanted to dedicate this song to you.

S – You did the right thing! It’s an happy song, and it’s Brazilian. It’s evening there now, and here it’s morning but that’s still good.

I – It’s morning there, but you look amazing. You look relaxed!

S - Yeah, I had my coffee, I woke up...

I – There are so many people in the comments who are sending the Brazilian flag. Because there are people from all over the world. There are so many questions!

S – I receive lot of questions from young actors who want to start this career, so it gets hard to answer to all of them. So... this is a great opportunity, doing it in Italian. I really liked this idea!

I – So let’s start with this. Explain what they ask you.

S – "How can I get to the USA?" All I can do is telling my experience but everyone has their own story. I also started doing the dance thing, I went to London first and from London I came to LA to still dance and then I ended up doing something different. But I studied dancing, singing and acting in Italy with the intention of doing musicals. Then I focused most on the dancing thing and once in LA I started studying acting. But I paid my dues, it’s not like I arrived and I said “Here I am”... no. The most difficult part in the USA is getting a visa, it’s really hard to get because you need to have a solid resumè, so if you didn’t work before it’s hard to arrive to the USA. My advice is to study in Italy or England or in France.

I – They ask if you can suggest some schools?

S – (I didn't understand this part, sorry!)

I – What are you doing during this time? What are you doing since you can’t act?

S – Before the pandemic, during the movie with Siani I saw him directing, I was close with the editor and I got passionate about directing, so in the USA I asked to the GA & the S19 showrunner if I could be a shadow to the director. So I was there 14 hours just to see him directing and then I started working on my short film... but during this pandemic I tried to end this idea of the short film.

I – There are so many English people here, do you want to say hi in English? There are so many people who want to learn Italian because of you!

S – I'm so sorry this one is in italian and a lot of you are not gonna understand much, but [...] (she talks about sending questions in english). There are lots of Brazilian, Argentinian fans!

I – Even from Chile! So, many people are asking what are the differences between USA and Italy?

S – Honestly, in the USA there are more money. But I’m part of two famous tv series. The thing that is better is that on Italian set you feel like a family. In Italy the assistant would come with some pizza and say “it is right out of the oven, eat it before shooting the scene”. In America this wouldn’t happen. In the morning in Italy you would have espresso all together and so the atmosphere is more familiar. Even behind the scenes, in the USA is the place where there are the director and the writer, the actors are not allowed. Instead in Italy you can talk to the director, you can participate more.

I – Did you have difficulties during auditions, because you were Italian?

S – For the foreign people are all the same. There is no difference between Spanish, Italian. Then if you are a good-looking guy or girl they may think “he was a model and and now he wants to be an actor”. So that’s the vibe when you get into the audition room. So you have to work harder to prove yourself, and to show that you deserve it.

I – I mean just thinking about the green card, I mean I didn’t came here for fun, I earned it.

S – Well, about the green card... there are people who can obtain the green card easily, because they want to do the acting thing just to become famous, not because they are passionate about it. And to them they say “no, no”. They give you the opportunity to show them that you are worth it.

I – What was you reaction when you got the part for Carina? Your reaction and your family’s reaction?

S – The night before the audition I was at my acting class and I was crying because of my Italian accent. With the accent I could have just Italian roles. So I was crying. The next day I arrived, and when I got into the room the casting director was like “let’s see another one” but then during the audition they asked me a question, they made me do the scene another time, they made me improvise. And they told me "don’t’ go back to Italy". The next morning, they told me “see you at the table read!” So, I laughed, I cried. My neighbors wanted to call the police. I didn’t tell anything to my family until 2 weeks later because I heard about people who were fired after the table read, so I was scared. When the news were officially out I told everyone. My best friend is a huge Grey's Anatomy fan, so I was really excited to tell her.

I – Having Giacomo there helped? I mean, someone you could speak Italian with...

S – Yes!

I – How did you feel when you got on the set of GA?

S – It was unreal. Ellen Pompeo is the one who says hi to you. I couldn’t believe it!

I – What did you like about playing an LGBT character? And how much Stefania there is in Carina?

S – I really like playing an LGBT character, because it doesn’t happen a lot that an Italian is chosen to represent this community, so it was a new thing. Also because lot of Italian teenagers don't have a person who can represent them in that way. So being an European girl, bisexual, without limits. I was so happy.

I – Yeah, because you are a doctor who studies women’s brain during orgasms, right? Does it really exist this kind of doctor? Do you guys prepare for these things?

S – Yes, these people exist. In fact, I talked to an Italian doctor who was doing this study in London... I read some books, “The multiorgasmic woman” is what is called.

I – I didn’t know that. I thought it was fictional!

S – GA is based on real things, and about the second question... Carina taught me so much. Because I’m Sicilian, I grew up in a small town and despite the fact that my mom was super open-minded, I grew up in a conservative world. So Carina taught me to be more relaxed, to not be afraid of saying things.

I – She is the one who taught you something! And between Arizona and Maya, which one is the story couple you would like to live? (I don’t know if this is right!)

S – Maya! As soon as we read the script – we say this a lot – everyone got quiet and there were 5 seconds of silence, because everyone was surprised by the chemistry that was there.

I – Were you on Station 19?

S – Yes!

I – What if they told you that you became an important character on S19 and you had to choose between S19 and GA?

S – Well... S19 is a show that talks about firefighters so I don’t know how an OB could fit in it.

I – Now that Arizona is gone, why they don’t write a storyline about Carina? But everything's stopped there, you are not shooting, right?

S – No, we are not. GA didn’t finish the last 4 episode. They told it would have started again this week but I don’t think it has. What about Italy?

I – We should start “phase 3” on the 3rd of June. So they would like to start again from mid June/July. We hope it won’t be in September. Also, many people want you back in Italy. Speaking about Italy... you were in (Alessandro) Siani’s movie. You were Flavia, a scientist, a good one. Then there’s a love story with him. How was working with him? Is he really selfless?

S – He was super busy because he was the writer, the director and the actor. There were scripted scenes, but we improvised a lot and that was very funny. I liked how the love story was written because it was fresh and not so much romantic.

I – It's a really great movie. There are people here saying "you’re beautiful", "ti amo", "English please!"...

S – Most of my live are in english so...

I – Do you dream in Italian or in English? Do you feel uncomfortable with the actors on set?

S – I don’t know... For example, I had some builder who were speaking Spanish and I started speaking Spanish and dreaming in Spanish.

I – Which role of a movie you saw that you would have liked to play?

S – Rosario Dowson’s role in “Sette Anime” di Gabriele Muccino!

I – And a director you would like to work with?

S – It’s not easy. Because maybe some of them do great thing but you don’t get along with them. But the director of S19... he tells you a specific thing and it changes everything. And I didn’t expect that a person with so much experience would dedicate so much time to an actor.

I – It’s hard to create empathy...

S – That’s why I decided to start directing. I had some scenes with Danielle, and she had to cry, and on TV Shows the director usually don’t give you so much time, so we, as actors, help each other. So it’s beautiful to tell an actor to say “do that”.

I – What kind of movies would you like to direct? Horror, action?

S – No, horror no! They make me anxious. I like romantic comedies, but also dramatic movies.

I – Do you live love with yearning?

S – (I didn't understand this part, sorry!)

I – Can I tell you something? Thank God. If you have the passion about directing you have to protect it. Can you say something in Sicilian?

S – I’ll tell you something that my mom always said and that my sister and I want to tattoo on our ankle: “zita sempre maritata mai” (always in a relationship but never married).

I – She's right! The problem is that we always fall for it. As women, we are always romatic, the prince charming arrives with his white horse. Do you know what a Brazilian friend of mine say? My prince charming’s horse is a little bit hurt (I don’t know how to translate it). At the beginning the prince is perfect and then… Apart your relationship with you boyfriend or husband or whatever, can you say that your job is your second love? I don’t want to put it first.

S – When you work harder for something you want to do, it’s amazing!

I – A Brazilian asked “did she talked about an husband?” I don’t know, I just said boyfriend, husband and we don’t care. We also have to say goodbye. I’m happy we had you here in this live. Thank you, bye!

S - Bye!

——————————————

special thanks to the queen paola for translating it from italian to english! 💜

[keyflight790]

hi,chris! may I ask for a bit of your advice? how do I deal with a beta that tries to meddle with the plot of my fic,while I made it clear that I only needed spelling and grammar checked? I don't wand to appear rude because their advice is well-meant,they are a nice person and I guess they think they're helping me. though in fact this kind of help puts me off, annoys me and makes me feel bad about my fic. I didn't ask for that, yet I'm receiving it all the time and it's so vexing.

I'm the anon from the previous beta ask. there's another thing I want to ask you. so I wrote a fic for a fest and asked a girl if she would beta it for me. she gladly agreed and was super enthusiastic about it. she betaed my fics before and always offers her help as a beta if need be. I sent her the fic, she said yeah I've received it, I'm gonna start on it tomorrow. a month have passed and I haven't heard from her, though I see her active on tumblr every day. 1/2

2/2 The deadline for submitting it to the fest is only in a couple of month, so it's not like I'm in a hurry. but her silence makes me anxious. has she forgotten? is she busy? why wouldn't she tell me then so I'd find another beta? I don't want to be annoying, she kindly volunteered to do that, and we all have real lives. on the other hand, time is passing and I don't where I stand with that fic. when would it be okay to remind her about me? If you coulf give me advice, please and thank you.

Hey Nonny!!!

Is this me?

I ask this sincerely. 

I’ve done this before. I’ve forgotten. I’ve had life happen. I offered to beta a fic and then couldn’t. And I didn’t tell them until it was almost too late.

Honestly, I’d remind her. Ask her again. Make sure her plate isn’t too full. It could be that she forgot. It could be that the far away due date is causing her to not prioritize it. It’s okay to ask. It’s okay to communicate with your beta.

And that goes back to your top ask. A writer/beta relationship is just like any other. It requires communication and honesty. If you feel like she’s overstepping, let her know. When I first started betaing, I did this. A lot. I wanted to offer advice, but what I was doing was not okay. And it wasn’t until someone told me, that I realized. 

A writer who I love told me that their story didn’t feel like theirs anymore. And it broke my heart, knowing that I had ruined their fic for them. But it was something I needed to hear. It made me a better beta. 

So if you like working with this person, let them know. And if they can’t learn from it, you might want to find another beta. And that’s okay! 

I also want to empower you to hit that reject button. If a suggestion is made, you do not have to take it. It’s your fic, your story to tell. A beta should not get upset if you reject one of their suggestions. It’s yours to decide.

Hope this helps! And feel free to reach out in my dms, and we can chat about it more, okay?

[thyandrawrites]

So, 2018 is coming to a close, so it's time for a little summary!

To be honest the most astounding thing for me is the overwhelmingly warm reception I've gotten by the bnha fandom. I'm seriously floored by how kind and supportive a lot of you have been, and words cannot express how grateful I am for it.

One of my resolutions for 2018 was "post at least once a month" and I can't say I've always stuck to it... But considering I was busy working on my thesis for a good portion of my summer, and then with deadlines and graduation for the rest of my autumn, I'm pretty damn proud of what I managed to accomplish. I'm pretty damn proud that I didn't give up, because that way I was able to find such lovely, welcoming readers. A real community, you know? People who engaged with my writing, who actually encouraged me to do what I love the most.

This year I also decided to go full self-indulgent, and to write and post anything I completed. I was super anxious about it, too, since I'm always hyper-critical of anything I create. I wasn't sure if that was gonna help at all with my motivation, or if it would've brought me out of the writer's block I was struggling with since the previous year.

I wasn't sure if changing fandoms, if being self-indulgent, and if writing what I wanted to read, instead of what I thought people would wanna read, was gonna make a difference. I wasn't sure if accepting prompts again, after receiving zero feedback the previous time I tried doing that, was gonna sink me deeper in my self-doubt or would made me crawl my way back out.

But I was like: well, it can't get worse, can it? I already lost my spark.

At the very least, if my writing won't reach anyone (again), this time I'm doing this mostly for myself. At the end of the day, if I don't get feedback, I will still enjoy the process. And not stress out too much about results, you know?

But then...

But then, you see the stats.

And let me tell you. Feedback matters. Showing support matters. My word count this year was the highest of all 4 years I've been on ao3 - a measly 44k, but that's more than double my count for 2017! - and not gonna lie, it has a lot to do with the constant encouragement some of you have been blessing me with. Knowing that I reached you guys, that somehow my writing wasn't just something that stayed with you until you hit the last line and then forgot about it, mattered.

I'm so incredibly grateful for every single comment, keysmash, kudo and bookmark.

Thank you so much for building a dialogue with me. I wouldn't be here without you guys. Here's to hoping that 2019 is gonna be even kinder to me and my writing, and that I will be able to take on even bigger challenges and come out victorious :)

[nanasrecovery]

September 13, 2020

Well things have definitely changed a bit since my last journal entry, so this is gonna be a long one. I spent a week back home with my family, and the first day back was, as expected, my most anxiety filled day due to a full to-do list and just adjusting to another environment. I had errands to run for the little celebration I wanted to have for Alisa, Jungkook, and Bronson's birthday, and had some bottle drop offs to take care of as well. I didn't really have time to myself, except when I was in the car, which isn't exactly my most anxiety-free space to begin with (which wasn't always the case surprisingly). I enjoyed being around everyone and even making our own pizzas from scratch, but when it came time to eating, my social anxiety & ED took over (mostly ED). I let him convince me that I shouldn't eat even though I was starving. I knew exactly what was happening, but still, I couldn't get myself to eat. So I tried my best to enjoy the night, regardless of feeling uncomfortably hungry.

The next morning, the negativity continued. First thing I'm greeted by when I come downstairs was a multitude of questions from my mom like "why didn't you eat last night? Why didn't you go to your room and eat? How come you're not telling me how you're doing?" And I know she's coming from a good place as a mother, but this is the kind of thing I wanted to get away from when I moved to Henrico. My eating disorder and anxiety is something my mom will never fully understand, or maybe even try to understand. I've had several conversations with her before on ways she can help me, and I mean really help me, not the ways she thinks she's helping me. For example,

Really listening to me when I talk about my struggles

Not using her own struggle with anxiety as the cure for mine

Trust me that I'm making strides towards recovery at MY pace

But of course, sometimes I feel like she only hears what she wants to hear. What frustrated me the most was she said, "you know how I deal with my anxiety? I eat". And I said "well if you would really listen to me, you would know that I can't do that. If I could, we wouldn't be having this problem right now." And that immediately just made me irritable towards my mom for the rest of my time home, unfortunately. Regardless of that exchange, I was able to eat breakfast and finished my entire pizza from the night before for lunch.

I already had a feeling that being home was gonna help my anxiety a lot, and regardless of the negativity from my mom, it really was. I'm so thankful for Jaron and that he's so understanding and helpful when it comes to my anxiety. He said he would get a ride back up to Henrico just so I could stay home longer, and I'm honestly so glad I did. I've realized how much being home is healing for me, atleast during these current times. When things were going well for me in the beginning of the year, I loved being in Henrico, but after covid hit and things completely changed, I wanted to be back home even though I never wanted to admit it. But I can't dismiss the fact that home is where all of my favorite people are, and some of the anxieties I feel up in Henrico just don't exist when I'm back home.

The moment that made me really miss being home was my absolute favorite part of my week, and something I want to do more often. I had an impromptu picnic with Alisa, Jessa, and Bronson at Chesapeake City Park and it was literally the most relaxed I have felt in so long. Not having technology in my face the whole time, soaking in the sun and breathing fresh air in an open field just felt so nice, and I was able to eat half a sandwich and some pretzels in front of them, which is the most people I've eaten anything in front of in a long time. From that point on, I really wanted to try and make positive steps towards recovery.

I had asked on Twitter and Instagram if people had used CBD products before and what their thoughts were, and I received nothing but positive responses. Ate Jackie had some CBD products she had that she wasn't using so I picked them up and tried them out (yay for not having to pay). The gummies actually taste so good that I would totally eat a bunch at once if they weren't CBD haha. But at first I couldn't really tell if it did anything, but after use over the next couple days I felt the effects, and I'd say it did help mellow me out! I eventually needed a stronger dose and told John about it, so he went to a CBD store and bought gummies for me and some oil for himself (thankful for you, John). The new gummies definitely hit me harder, sometimes I feel like I'm high cause I'm so mellowed out hahaha. Either way, I'm glad that I've found a natural aid for my anxiety since the medication route hasn't been the best choice for me since ED.

Over the next few days I really tried to spend time with people while still giving myself time to rest. For one, I got into Stray Kids, which getting into a new group is a Serotonin boost in itself haha, especially when my biases look like this

How can I not feel happy when I look at them?????

But throughout the rest of the week I also soaked up my time with Deedee, Megan, and even Marc cause they always put me in a great mood. Definitely one of my favorite parts of being home.

Regardless of being stressed due to watching my nephews and dodging my mom's questions or overbearing tendencies, I was able to eat the most that I have in a while, which was really nice, but also brought on anxiety simply because my body isn't used to it. I am still super happy and excited about it nonetheless.

Friday night I had therapy, and after spilling out basically everything I had written about up until this point of the post, she really helped me organize my thoughts and worries, and I just always feel better after therapy sessions with her. She reminded me that sometimes it feels like we're fighting against our family, but we're on the same team fighting against ED, and showed me resources that I could give my mom to help her understand my situation more. She also helped me ease some worries about Jaron and I's current situation of planning on moving back home due to struggling finances since covid (which I'll probably go into detail another day).

My week back home ended with a visit to my Auntie. She texted me earlier that morning that if I had free time to stop by because she had something for me. I had no idea what to expect, but when I got there, I must say it was nice seeing family. She gave me a devotional journal, prayer card, and small vials of Rose oil, sat me down and basically said "the reason why I reached out was because I dreamt about you the other day and I rarely dream about family. And the dream was so dark and gloomy that I wondered why and felt like I should reach out". She told me about her struggles in life and how she trusted God and continues to learn and trust in Him. I told her how, even though the past year has been so difficult, it really brought me closer to God. Prior to going to their house, I was feeling really sad and anxious, but after leaving I felt so much better.

I made my way back up to Henrico, and man I missed Jaron a lot. Spending the past couple days with him has been really nice, and I've eaten generally well while being up here. Unfortunately it's hard for me to be by myself in the apartment all week and not feel super anxious, so I told him I wanted to stay back home for a bit, and of course, he understood. So I packed up some things and I'll be heading back down tomorrow morning.

This past week helped me see things in a new light, and how things will never go as planned, but everything definitely happens for a reason. My struggles are preparing me for the blessings to come and I'm going to be 100000x stronger mentally, physically, and spiritually after all of this is overcome.

Here's to more steps forward, no matter how small.

[pfreadsandwrites]

Thank you so much for the tags @whatshernameis

@sharingan-no-armin and @kuramakakashi!! Truth be told I wasn't gonna do this because I'm kinda embarrassed about how inactive and minimal my AO3 is comparatively, but I really appreciate being thought of, especially by multiple people 🥺 and hey maybe it can be motivation!!

Tagging @aerinth if she wants to do this and any other writers who see this! Pretty much everyone else I know who writes regularly has been tagged.

Under the cut for length!!

1. how many works do you have on AO3?

So three, I put all my request one-shots into one singular work to save the feed. I kinda should have done them separately though, if I do treat it separately I guess it'd technically be 11?

2. what’s your total AO3 word count?

28, 712

3. how many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

Just Naruto. I'm pretty fixated 😂 I would like to branch out to other things, but few other fandoms have captured my imagination the way Naruto has.

4. what are your top five fics by kudos?

Umm... I'ma have to do top three. Acquiescence, Tumblr Prompts and then Ignominy.

5. do you respond to comments? why or why not?

Yeah always. I probably annoy people because I always respond and keep conversations going generally but I really really appreciate being reached out to, and to have someone actually comment on my work is the best feeling so I'm always gonna thank them 💕

6. what fic have you written with the angstiest ending?

Request 9 of Tumblr Prompts. In my head it's set during Pain arc, but the reader doesn't know that 😂

7. what fic have you written with the happiest ending?

Hmm... A lot of them have happy endings. In a way, I think even Ignominy has a happy ending. I think the ending for the drunken mishaps one-shot is the cutest though.

8. do you write crossovers?

No. They're kinda fun but they always confuse me logistically because I want the fics I write to feel like they could happen at least in universe, and it's really hard to do that with a crossover.

9. have you ever received hate on a fic?

No. Not because I think it doesn't deserve it, it's more that I think my stuff is kinda boring and lacklustre so it doesn't really do much to inspire any negative feedback 😂

10. do you write smut? if so, what kind?

Looool I haven't ever posted any apart from a paragraph once. I do have a couple of requests for it but. When those get written they'll be a lil vanilla lmao.

11. have you even had a fic stolen?

Not to my knowledge!!

12. have you ever had a fic translated?

No! That would be cool though because translating is SUPER hard but I would like to be told about it first.

13. have you ever co-written a fic before?

I haven't! I will happily beta-read but writing a fic with someone is something i've never tried before. I don't know how good I'd be at it, I think I'd be anxious about trying to please the other person and I don't know how well our styles would gel together etc.

14. what’s your all-time favorite ship?

From Naruto I would say SasuNaru or JiraiTsuna... Other than that i love KyoRu from Fruits Basket. I'm not much of a shipper tbh.

15. what’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

Oh god, all of them??? Better Days is looking like it's had worse days, tbh. But hopefully nothing from the past year. I had this one I wrote years ago that won't be finished called 'Snowed In' which was just domestic drama and kinda boring so I'll just say that.

16. what are you writing strengths?

Portraying emotion and feeling, dialogue, sometimes prose and description, but sometimes it's one of my weaknesses.

17. what are you writing weaknesses?

I'm really bad at plotting 😂 my imagination is what i struggle with, like how well the ideas come to me. It's like pulling teeth tbh. Sometimes getting the balance right with description too. I sometimes think too hard about the words and what to say and it doesn't always flow well.

18. what are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

Hmm. If it's relevant to the story and characters then go for it. If it's to show off how many languages you know then, you do you, but it's not for me. Like anything, if it's treated well and you do your research I don't usually mind either way.

19. what was the first fandom you wrote for?

Beyblade 😂 When I was 11 😂 i actually handwrote these fics in my journal and an older kid found it and made fun of me 😭

20. what’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

Acquiescence. i kinda feel like i delved deep into the characters, their love for each other, and their relationship with a pretty small word count.

20 [Fanfic Writer] Questions Game

i one thousand percent stole this from @depressedhatakekakashi when i saw it and sat down to answer them all now.  i’ll put the whole thing under the cut because it’s l o n g, lol, but i’ll also tag a few folks if they’d like to play along.  i’m only going with folks i know have relatively active ao3 accounts off the top of my head.  if you wanna play, feel free to steal this shit same as i did. 😂

@myaekingheart @whatshernameis @chemmerson @kakashiswilloffire @kakashi-tsukuyomi

no pressure, obvs, but this was kind of fun!  <3

Czytaj dalej