#//had to write this do yuri doesn't manifest and kill me over my last post LOL

[mistralxsoul]

Even if Flynn wanted to protest the sudden hug, he wouldn’t have been able to get the words out, even if he tried. Not that he wanted to protest. He never ever wanted to protest being this close to Yuri, being held in his arms like this. If he ever protested, he needed to be locked up because chances are that it was someone pretending to be him. His voice had completely died out and his face was hot from just how much Yuri’s confession struck deep into his core. 

Flynn hadn’t meant for the words ‘I love you’ to slip out of him as he scrambled to react to Yuri’s words that had practically took his breath away but even if he hadn’t meant to say those three words so soon (really, he thought he had more self control than that) he still couldn’t bring himself to regret them or would he ever take them back.

Still, he wondered when exactly he had fallen in love with Yuri. It seemed like one day he just knew but it had to have been a gradual occurrence, right? He remembered knowing that he loved Yuri after he had left the knights (and wasn’t that a heartbreaking revelation to have during such a time?) and thinking back, he could tell that the boy had been crushing on Yuri when they were teenagers too. All too often when Yuri clung onto him or leaned in close, or put a hand on his waist… Flynn had just wanted to lean in and kiss him or hold him and just never let go. 

Had it been when he was a teenager? But… even as a child, Flynn couldn’t deny how intrigued Yuri had made him. Despite the fact that Flynn desperately wanted to close himself off and to never have to interact with anyone… there was something about Yuri that nagged at his mind. The young boy was strange but clearly had a big heart and… at the time, Flynn wondered if maybe he was jealous by how open Yuri seemed to be with the others in the Lower Quarter. And maybe a part of him still was but… there was definitely something else to it. 

Maybe it wasn’t love but Yuri definitely had his attention from day one and had never once lost it, even when he and Yuri were butting heads in the knights. Everyday for fifteen years, Yuri had crossed his mind and stayed in his thoughts that the idea of not having Yuri around might as well sign Flynn’s own death sentence. He couldn’t imagine his life without the other. 

In a way, maybe becoming too dependent on each other wasn’t entirely a good thing but if it was bad, then maybe Flynn would simply ignore it. Yuri was his other half, plain and simple. Nothing– Absolutely nothing was going to change that. Nothing could come between that. Not if Flynn could physically help it. 

And so, Flynn said it again. “I love you. I don’t… I don’t think there’s been a day that’s gone by where you haven’t been on my mind.” His voice is quite as he shoves his face into the skin of Yuri’s neck, still hiding his eyes from his partner because he just needed a minute to get his racing thoughts back under control. His arms slide around Yuri’s waist, squeezing him gently as he holds the other in the embrace. 

He holds the other for a few short moments as he manages to get himself calmed down enough to risk looking back up to Yuri and even then, he can’t stop himself from leaning in close to leave  a quick peck on his lover’s lips. His smile is back, warm and inviting but the red on his cheeks remain as his eyes dart away in embarrassment. There is a moment of hesitation before he continues speaking. 

“If you want me to keep this from Karol for now, you should be careful when it comes to saying stuff like that.” Flynn warns, tone wavering but there is a hint of teasing in his voice as he looks back up to Yuri. Amusement shines in his eyes as his mouth tilts up into a smirk. “If you keep saying such romantic things to me, Yuri Lowell, I don’t think I’ll be able to keep my hands off of you. And unfortunately, I think that would be a dead giveaway to Karol, right?”

It was a joke, he told himself. And it technically was. But at the same time, with how his heart was practically beating from his chest, he wasn’t sure just how much longer that statement was going to remain a joke. Because, in full honesty, Yuri had a tendency of making him feel like he was going completely crazy. 

Still, to make sure he didn’t completely overload the poor man, Flynn does laugh a little as he pulls back from the hug just enough to give him space. “I’m kidding, of course. I’m capable of being on my best behavior.” 

He was practically the definition of a chivalrous knight, after all.

It was silly how those words made him stop walking and freeze up. They had just confessed to each other, but somehow this was a step up from that. What was even more silly about it was that he was pretty sure they both knew this was the direction of that. They both knew that meant this. Yuri knew that was exactly what he felt, and it wasn't like Flynn hadn't made it a point to express the same.

Somehow hearing it rephrased like this took the air right out of him for quite a few seconds though. Again; silly. It did make sense Flynn would say that. It did make sense Flynn would feel that way. Yuri had just established to himself it made sense. Maybe it was because Flynn had come so far from back when Yuri first started being there for him - had made something of himself - that made it difficult when compared to a (formerly? Currently? He really wasn't sure right now) depressed, isolated nobody.

As like before, Repede stopped in his tracks and turned to look at them. Yuri became aware of it quickly enough, sparing the poor pooch a look who had decided to walk back over to them and start walking around and nearby them. Better than sitting still, Yuri supposed. They'd already gotten distracted once like this, and Repede was a smart enough pup to pick up on shifts in mood and distractions. Poor guy was gonna have to get snacks from the store tomorrow for this.

Part of Yuri wished Flynn would look at him, and yet... the other part of him had no idea how to handle that right now. For how hot his face was, it probably wasn't even all that red. Rather, his heart was pounding instead. Until just tonight, Yuri had still been uncertain how to move forward with Flynn. How to stop looking back and wanting what they used to have. Now Flynn was... basically presenting both.

If Yuri could get out of that mindset that he wasn't good enough for Flynn, it would help a lot. Flynn's success in life had nothing to do with who they were together. Who they had always been. Why should Flynn be deprived of that? Even if Yuri didn't truly fully understand whatever appeal existed in him, Flynn saw it. Flynn had lost enough. Why should Yuri take himself from Flynn too just because he didn't understand what Flynn was seeing?

Not that he was going to reject him or his feelings. It was just a lot to wrap his mind around after he'd convinced himself for literal years that he was not good enough to be with Flynn anymore. He couldn't... do that anymore though. He was just going to end up hurting Flynn if he kept doing that. It didn't matter what he didn't understand, as long as Flynn was happy with this.

As much as Yuri felt fidgety, his body wasn't moving. His hands felt like they needed to be restless; like they needed to be messing with the hem of his shirt or something. Pulling at his sleeves. Messing with the collar part of his shirt. Anything. None of it was happening though, and his mind was doing all the restless motions.

Normally he danced around admissions. Normally he couldn't just come out and say he cared about something or someone. When did that even start...? When had he just... stopped being open about what was on his mind? As a child he may have been begrudging about admitting things, but he was better at it than he was even now. When he'd gotten a bit older, he'd gotten more honest. At some point he'd lost it all. As if honesty would just scare him off into some hole.

With Flynn it was like a fifty fifty shot of honesty. Usually that was in front of others though, because he could, for the most part, let his feelings out when alone with Flynn. They had been in fights all their lives and they were still here, right? They had managed to get this far despite that, right? Because... there was something there.

Quiet as his voice was, it was steady when he spoke up. "You are home to me, Flynn."

It wasn't an exaggeration. On his journey with people who were once strangers to him, even despite the fighting and the tension, Flynn was familiar. It was like taking a piece of home and bringing it with him. Sure, a lot of it was Alexei moving his pieces along his chess board, but they kept ending up in the same place. Always finding each other in the same places literally across the world.

At the time he acted about as normal about it as he could. Like it was just "oh hi, you're here too" and not the comfort of something completely familiar. Maybe it was because he knew Flynn had changed when they were in the knights that his attitude when Yuri met him at Nor wasn't too surprising. He knew they could get past that. When Flynn went along with the plan to break into Ragou's mansion, he knew the Flynn he'd grown up was still in there (and it did vaguely remind him that Flynn sneaked out with him and the other kids to get that water that day... It did sort of... feel like that).

Thinking of Flynn as anything else but natural to him didn't really seem possible at this point. There was, now that he thought about it, a reason the Lower Quarter kept seeing them as some sort of package deal. Anyone who was around when they were kids knew they did everything together. Shared everything. Spent a ton of time together. When Repede came into their lives, they raised him together. Looked after him and worried about him. Set any differences aside between them to take care of him when he needed attention and safety.

Yuri wanted things to be the way they had always been. They could still do that as they got older, right? Could still share everything, do as much as possible together, have each other's backs whenever they needed to, right? There was no actual reason not to beyond Yuri thinking their jobs and his lack of being somebody (which was a bit funny to consider, seeing as he was someone even Don Whitehorse respected and someone that even Commandant Alexei had on his radar...) was going to harm Flynn or his career.

For just a moment, he thought back to his own joking earlier. If it did all fall to ruin somehow, what if he did just run away with Flynn? That was silly too, right? That wouldn't happen. But it was still a sort of... failsafe for them. If everything else went to shit no matter how hard they tried to stay together and benefit society both, if society just wouldn't goddamn cooperate and tried to pull them apart, would he just let it? No... He would just choose Flynn. He would choose Flynn like he always had. If it really came down to it, could he actually consider a life with Flynn removed from it? No. He couldn't. His voice had wavered at Nordopolica that day for a reason.

Ah. Right. This would be easier than looking at him. God, why were they like this? He could only hope it would ease with time again (just like they had been before...). He pulled Flynn into a hug, momentarily dropping his head onto Flynn's shoulder, lifting his head back up with a light sigh. "I love you, Flynn. I think I always have." They could go back to being who they used to be together. What the hell was the world gonna do, stop them? Nah. It couldn't stop them as seven year old kids; what was it gonna do now? And he wasn't asking, because that was wholly rhetorical to the world.