#//I figured this needed it's own verse since it's very likely going to be come a bigger thing

[gaysindistress]

Things that I feel like would happen when you’re in a relationship with Simon Riley.

Simon Riley masterlist

1. First off he hates the word ‘boyfriend’.

Maybe it’s because he’s in his mid thirties or something but he can’t stand being called your boyfriend. He’s more than that but also not at the same time. You live together, have access to each other’s bank accounts (which is only because he hates it when you try to fight him about him giving you money), and you’re each others emergency contact. He thinks of himself as your husband. The man wears a silicone ring when he’s home and a necklace with the ring that’s totally not a wedding band when he’s working. Price has seen the chain once or twice and smirks, shooting him a knowing look but never says a word.

Simon cannot stand it when people get nosy and want to know what your relationship status is. You’re together and that’s all that matters. No one needs to know that you’re the beneficiary of his will and life insurance policy or that he’s put you on all of his accounts. No one needs to know that he buys you anything you want but has only ever bought you two rings; a thin gold band with a flower engraved on it and its twin a matching emerald ring. No one needs to know that when he gifted them to you, there were tears and promises of safety, love, and happiness whispered against feverish skin. No one needs to know that he has your name woven into his chest tattoo.

No one needs to know any of that because your relationship is between him and you only.

2. You are not some submissive little house wife. You are a strong independent woman and he prefers it that way.

I know this one goes against what most people say but hear me out on this. Simon has been independent since birth practically. He’s only had himself to count on for years. Even in the military, he’s only been able to rely himself. Sure the others watch out for him but if it came down to it, he’s the only one who’s going to get himself out alive.

The thought of someone else relying on him in that way is terrifying. He can’t even fathom what it would be like to look at another person and fully trust them in that way. Half the time he feels like he can’t even be trusted to take care of himself let alone another human. In theory a sweet docile housewife is great with the meals and clean house but not for him. He needs to know that you can hold your own. He needs to know that you can be independent and carry on without him if something happened while he was working. He needs to know that you will be okay if he doesn’t come back.

You have to be okay without him no matter how much it pains him to think about it.

Like I said before, he’s made you the beneficiary of everything so he knows you’ll be set financially but that’s not enough. He’s made Price promise to keep an eye out for you. He’s made you promise to let Price do that and you agreed because it’s Simon who’s asking but you’d tell anyone else to fuck off.

In addition to all of that, he’s installed the best security system the government has to offer in your house. You have a very expensive and large safe in your shared closet that he’s instructed you to only open if you feel unsafe. While you might not like it, you agree to go shooting with him so he can sleep at night knowing that you could protect yourself if he’s not home. He’s gone as far as to make sure you have all of the licenses and certificates that are needed to legally own firearms in the UK.

He’s not leaving any opportunity for you to be vulnerable or have your ‘safety checks’, as he calls them, taken away.

3. Simon Riley is a godless man…until he meets you.

Now this is entirely my own headcannon with no evidence to support it so bear with me.

Simon had a shitty childhood where his mom would pray to a god who never listened and his dad would shout verses at him when he was drunk. God was a mythical figure that he was told stories off with nothing to show for it. He did believe at one point but then his dad never got better, his mom wore bruises of every shade, and his brother found comfort in drugs.

He found himself praying when he was being tortured by the Mexican cartel. Between the flashbacks of his abusive past, he prayed to a god who had failed him so many times before to help him. He prayed again as he dug himself out of that Texas grave with the major’s jaw bone. He wailed his prayers when he found his family executed after Sparks tried to kill him.

After that he deemed himself a Godless man. Years of praying had passed with nothing. This god had decided that Simon was not worthy of a miracle so why would he continue to worship him?

That was until he met you. He finds himself praying before every mission, every time he has to leave you, every time he’s on his way home, and just about any other time he thinks of you. He doesn’t know what exactly he’s praying for other than for you to be there when he gets back.

He whispers his prayers to an absent god against your skin as he worships your body, soul, and heart. He promises to be devoted to you until his last breath and vows to find you again in whatever afterlife awaits you. He pledges to find solace in you and only you when his haunting nightmares return. He makes an oath to your heart that it will never weather another storm alone again for his will take whatever beating that comes your way. He shows you that he will love you in the same manner as a Hozier song; putting you above all else because you have become his religion, his faith, his beliefs, his life.

You have become all that he is and he thanks the god he once believed in for you. He prays again but to you, his heart, his love, and his beacon through the enteral storm of life.

[thelov3lybookworm]

We'll Heal

Summary: They have healed a lot in the past few years, and they will heal a lot in the ones coming.

•○●⛦●○•

Word Count: 2681

Warnings: angst, beron, eris being the tiniest bit mean but overall hes just a sweetheart, eris's brother, allusions to SA and domestic abuse, trauma. i think thats it, but if theres more i need to add, let me know!!

A/n: based on this request. i feel like i like this fic a lot cus my writing in this is so good, in my opinion 🥹 THANK YOU TO THE ANON WHO SENT ME THAT ASK ❣️❣️❣️

anyways, ENJOY🥹

°•°•°•○🌑○•°•°•°

The Vanserra brother’s scents were quite similar to each other. Y/n had learned that very quickly.

Having to hide and cower the moment her fiance arrived, she’d gotten better at scenting people.

All of them had distinct scents to the point if someone paid attention, they could figure out which one it was. But initially, it would be hard to differentiate between all the seven woody fragrances with hints of ash and sweet maple.

For example, Eris’s scent was woody, smoky, with a very light sweetness to it. Autumnus, Y/n’s fiance and the second born, his scent was very similar, but it was the slightest bit sugary. More so than all his brothers.

If there was one brother who actually had a different scent, it was Lucien. And Y/n thought she knew why.

Six of the brothers had almost the same scent, but the youngest didn’t? Y/n was not dumb. She was pretty sure Lucien was not Beron’s child, and even if Y/n was not so well versed in recognizing a person’s unique fragrance, his warm demeanour would have made it hard to believe he was.

He was by far the nicest and kindest being Y/n had ever met, but she did not know whether that was a compliment for she had not met many. Other than her father, father in law, fiance and his brothers, Y/n had no experience mingling with other fae. Being the daughter of a wealthy nobleman, she was always sheltered since the day she had been born, her purity and piousness valued above all else.

She had never even interacted with the lower fae that worked as servants for her father before he had basically sold her off to the high lord to further his position in court. Being the father of one of the brides of the high lord’s seven sons certainly came with perks he was unwilling to let go of.

He had hoped for Y/n’s betrothal to the eldest, but Beron had outright refused, so her father had had to settle for the second best.

Which was probably one of his worst decisions ever, considering Autumnus had made her life miserable and refused to let her step foot out of their private east wing.

Y/n supposed she should be glad he let her leave her room at least.

He had taken one look at her and agreed to marriage, and Y/n was aware that had Beron not forced him to court her for six months before the wedding, he would have snatched her right back to his room.

But of course, being ordered to not touch her intimately before their marriage did not deter him from seeking her out at night, when no soul would be awake to report such uncourtly behaviour or spread rumours. And as long as no one threw mud on their family name, Beron Vanserra didn’t really care what happened to the women in the palace.

Despite his… daring endeavours, Autumnus was adamant on keeping Y/n sheltered, and she had overheard a conversation between one of the other brothers and her fiance one evening where he claimed that he only wanted her to stay in the wing so no one would get any untoward ideas about harming Y/n.

How Ironic.

For all he claimed he only wished for her wellbeing and did not want to see her hurt, he sure had no qualms about putting his hands on her himself. Be it for his own sexual pleasure or sadistic desires. Y/n would never be able to understand why seeing the tears and bruises on her skin as the outcome of his actions brought him such satisfaction, nor would she ever wish to.

The sun was setting in the distance when a door close by slammed with a bang and Y/n’s shoulders tensed, already dreading the moment her bedroom door would also burst open. And then her fiance would stumble upon her. It was time for him to come anyway.

But the scent that reached her when the bedroom door creaked open was not that of her fiance’s. Surprised, she turned to greet the guest, her wide eyes meeting that of frenzied amber.

"Good evening, my lord." Despite wondering what was going on, Y/n began to drop into a curtsy.

"We do not have time for pleasantries. Hurry up."

Y/n blinked, the harshness of the oldest vanserra brother catching her off guard. "What-"

"Hurry up." Eris growled, striding towards her and grabbing her wrist.

Her blood ran cold at the force in his grasp, sweat forming on her back.

No.

Please.

Autumnus has assaulted me enough. Why is his brother doing this to me too?

Another thought crossed Y/n’s mind.

If Autumnus smells his brother on me, it’s over for me.

"What- what are you doing?! Autumnus would be furious if he catches me with you-"

"Autumnus is dead." Eris snapped, glaring at her when she refused to budge despite his insistent tugging on her hand to drag her out. It took Y/n a moment to fully understand what he was saying.

Her skin went numb. The surroundings turned mute. Her eyes lost focus, and as if her skin had lost all ability to hold her, her jaw dropped, lips parting.

"Wh- what?"

He released a frustrated exhale, his eyes falling shut. "Are you broken? Can you not say anything other than what?" When Y/n just stared at him, he growled. "No wonder you never stopped Autumnus from being his bastard self."

He dropped her hand, instead grabbing her by the shoulders and shaking her. "Listen to me carefully girl. Lucien’s lover was killed and now every other brother is out hunting him. Your betrothed is dead. The place is in chaos. There are no guards out there. I am trying to get you out of here. Okay? I am not trying to take advantage of you."

Y/n blinked, forcing herself to actually see the male in front of her. That was when her eyes snagged on the dark stains on his expensive jacket. The jacket itself was the darkest shade of maroon, yet the spots coloured by what looked like blood were discernible.

Blood.

She met his eyes. "Why are you helping me?"

His jaw clenched. "Not all of us are assholes, you know. I have sent Lucien to the spring court, and before anyone else returns to check up on you, you need to be gone."

She nodded, numb to his vice-like grip. "Can I ask you one more question?"

Eris’s lips tilted up cynically. "Of course. Would you like me to order some tea too? We can sit by the fire and chit chat? We could also bring the rest of the bothers even-"

She swallowed. "Point taken."

"Good." He snapped, eyes hard as he grabbed her hand again. "I’ll have to winnow you now." He mumbled, more to himself than to her.

And he did just that, depositing her on what seemed like the border to spring court. The thick foliage cascading down to the ground in trickling rivulets of red, orange and gold faded into the warm embrace of summoning of summer, green leaves and pink petals that looked like they’d burst with the slightest touch beckoning Y/n to come closer, to breathe in the sweetness.

Uncertain, Y/n turned to look at him.

"What now?" He questioned impatiently, gaze flitting from tree to tree, shadow to shadow.

"I-"

"Lucien or one of the high lord’s sentries will find you, if that’s what you’re concerned about."

Y/n was going to say that she had never stepped foot out of her father’s estate and then Beron’s estate, but that was a more valid concern than what she had in mind. So she dipped her head and turned away from Eris, taking steps towards the border as her stomach flipped in her tummy.

Before she took the last step and finally got rid of all ties to Autumn, she turned to look at him.

He raised a brow.

"I… I hope you get the best in life, my lord. I truly do."

His eyes softened, and he nodded at her in acknowledgement.

The moment she set foot in spring, he was gone.

°•°•°•○🌑○•°•°•°

"Y/n?"

She groaned and turned away, tucking her head between her pillow and the bed.

"Go away."

She heard a chuckle, causing her to tense. The sound itself was nothing bad, but the underlying love for chaos in it had her ready to fight.

Autumnus?

Clenching her fists in the bedsheets, she peeked her eye open, and sure enough, a flash of red hair caught her eye.

He stepped closer and yanked the covers off of her, his sinister smile still on his face as he took in her cowering form, his deep chuckle causing a shiver to run up her spine.

“Time to play, bitch.”

No. Please no.

He had not listened. He’d dragged her out of her bed in the middle of the night.

The first night of many to come.

Pine and maple mixed with honey filled her lungs, and she jerked up and back, heart thumping in her throat as she squeezed her eyes shut. She pressed herself against the headboard, feeling her tears tickle her skin as they rolled down her cheeks.

She heard nothing, no movement or breaths or menacing footsteps approaching her for long moments, and she blinked her eyes open, looking around the room over her heaving chest.

The eyes staring back at her with tears in them were not amber. They were russet.

Lucien.

Lucien, not Autumnus.

She exhaled, lips parting as she took in the sadness on her husband’s face. "Lucien, I-"

He shook his head, walking closer to her and settling down next to her. "It’s okay my love. I know how hard it is." He gently grasped her fingers in his hand and pried them from the blanket, and she reluctantly released her death grip on it.

She sniffled. "I’m trying."

He smiled at her, placing a soft kiss on her forehead. "I know you are, and I’m proud of you for it."

She watched him as he placed a kiss on each of her finger tips, then her knuckles, then finally her palm before meeting her eyes. And once again, she was reminded of the fact that this was Lucien. He was not his brother.

It had been over half a century since that day Eris had dropped Y/n on the spring border, and still, everytime she had to remind herself that she was now with Lucien, not his devil of a brother.

Lucien was a devil too, just not in the sense his brother was.

When Y/n had found Lucien after entering Spring Court, bleeding and bruised, his eyes hollow but pain still oozing from every pore of his body, she had managed to pull him- even as unwilling and ready to die as he was- towards where she thought she saw some tall spires rising into the sky through the proud trees boasting the prettiest of leaves she had never seen before, sure that it would be were the high lord resided.

She could only hope that Eris had informed him beforehand and that she was not dragging herself and Lucien from one hell to another.

The high lord had accepted them with open arms though, and Y/n had not expected the lengths he went to to make them comfortable. And despite the paranoia Y/n had after her experience with one HIgh Lord, despite her scepticism and reluctance to trust Tamlin, she developed what many would call a sibling bond with him. So did Lucien.

In the aftermath of all the tragedies, Lucien had isolated himself and only Tamlin could pull him out. But one day, Y/n had had enough of waiting. She had been waiting to talk to Lucien for over a month by that point, and when he had refused to talk to her or anyone at all, she’d barged into his room.

He had finally spoken to her and revealed that it was Autumnus who had told Beron about Jesminda’s existence, hence leading to her death. And despite Y/n believing in the saying, ‘Respect the dead and remember their good’, she cursed her dead fiance all over again.

From that day onward, Lucien and Y/n had connected, becoming closer as time went, comforting each other over shared loss of loved ones, life and home.

It was only a matter of time before they decided they liked each other more than friends did.

But Y/n had never been able to forget the things Autumnus did to her. It had taken her over a decade to even let Lucien kiss her. She had thought she was getting better in recent years though.

Apparently not.

Y/n leaned close to Lucien, resting her head on his shoulder. She tried so hard to move on from her experiences with Autumn court in general,but every time something happened that reminded her even slightly of the place she had been born, all her progress seemed to wash down the drain. Each time, she would be upset, but Lucien would tell her it was fine.

It was not.

Because if it were fine, why was she not stronger? Why, when anytime Lucien grabbed her a little too hard when play fighting, when the head maid got frustrated and yelled at others who were not doing their job well, when Tamlin used his high lord voice while commanding his sentries, why did Y/n stiffen? Why did sweat trickle down her back like the cold fingers of her fiance? Why did her blood seem to stop moving in her veins?

Y/n was disappointed quite often.

"Y/n, love, you know it’s alright. I can feel your thoughts without being a daemati. You need to give yourself more credit for how far you’ve come."

Just like that, tears welled up in Y/n’s eyes again, and she snuggled closer to him, hoping he would not be able to look at her filled eyes if she made it impossible for him to look at her.

He pulled away from her grip, knowing what she was trying to do and not falling for it. "Look at me sweetheart. It’ll get better with time."

Y/n just nodded, focusing on the golden skin of his throat rather than those eyes that made her spit out anything on her mind without compulsion.

He sighed, and Y/n wished she could erase the sound from existence because it made her feel worse than she already did, knowing she hurt Lucien too when she refused to get better.

"Fifty years ao, Y/n, you could not stand to be within arm’s length of me without having shivers. Without having nightmares, you could not close your eyes. You could not talk to anyone because everyone reminded you of him.

"And now you can do so much. You organise and host events for Tamlin, you are training to be an emissary, you can hold your own against those pompous lords whose jacket buttons hold on for dear life. Tell me, what can you not do?"

That made an unexpected giggle burst from Y/n’s lips, and she looked up to find Lucien’s lips quirked to the side, his eyes glittering.

"And no, Y/n, you do not disappoint me when it all comes back to you. I am so very proud of you for even beginning to get better in the first place. Mother knows I would have been a ghost wandering the halls had I been the one who endured Autumnus and his bullshit."

Y/n pressed her forehead to Lucien’s, whimpering softly. "I love you."

She felt the air in front of her shift and settle as Lucien shuffled closer, placing his lips against her.

"And I love you. And I promise you, my love, we’ll get better."

°•°•°•○🌑○•°•°•°

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[in1-nutshell]

Hello, hope you’re doing well!!

I actually sent this in the last time you opened your inbox but I’m guessing it got drowned out by the other requests lol(it’s okay tho dw about it) so hopefully this stray request can make it even tho it’s a little late😓

I have a request with a cybertronian reader (Gender neutral) + swerve

-

Little info about reader, they were a performer but more specifically a singer who performed in bars.

Reader and swerve met at a bar when they were performing and he immediately was smitten, so after they were done swerve approached reader to tell them how amazing they were but he was a nervous WRECK. Not only did they have an amazing voice but they were drop dead gorgeous(Basically whatever the cybertronian equivalent for a model is).

Both joined the lost light and when swerve opened his bar, the reader would help him run it, sometimes even perform on the occasion.

Eventually some bots become curious about readers and swerves relationship since they looked very close, the reader always listening to swerves rambles, never shutting him up and sometimes seeing them crack a smile or even laugh at his jokes. Only ever really showing him any type of affection/emotion since they come of aloof and stoic when talking to others. So they ask the question to him (or reader)and he breaks the bombshell that they are conjuxes and the bots go crazy💀💀

No one would’ve expect swerve to be able to bag a baddie like reader but it happened

-

The whole dynamic is basically just Jessica rabbit and Roger rabbit, the bots in question can be of any of your choosing!

Remember to take breaks when needed and take care of yourself!!

Hi! Sorry to here about the request. Some request do get lost (thanks for understanding!)

Now I can finally get this written!

Hope you enjoy!

Bot Buddy the singer and being Swerve's Conjunx

SFW, Platonic, Romance, Cybertronain reader

MTMTE

The Lost Light had many duos and partners on board.

Some that made sense like Rewind and Chromedome.

Another duo’s that came as a pleasant surprise like Tailgate and Cyclonus.

But one of the more unlikely duos on the ship was Buddy and Swerve.

Swerve had told the patrons many times about the story of how they met.

Many are still trying to figure out how truthful the story really is.

They would ask Buddy… but they kind of intimidate many of the patrons at the bar.

According to the bartender, Swerve had been looking around the local bars for ideas on how to design his own bar.

It was one night he decided to stick around one of the bars for the entertainment section.

That’s when he saw them.

Swerve nursing a cube of engex.

“Hey, what’s for the entertainment tonight? Trivia? Drunk lobbing?”--Swerve

“Nah, Buddy’s singing tonight.”—Random Mech

“Buddy?”--Swerve

The bot sighs.

“Trust me, you don’t wanna miss this. Their performance… well you’ll see.”—Random Mech

Swerve shrugs it off but starts to notice the bar quiet down significantly and many bots looking at the stage with a look he could only describe as lovestruck.

“Please welcome once again to the stage, our wonderful singer, Buddy.”—Random Mech

Buddy’s tall frame walks slowly out of the curtains.

Their frame lighting up with the spotlight as the other lights had dimmed.

Swerve could defiantly see why everyone was excited.

They had a frame of a super model!

And that voice!

Swerve was certain that he too had a lovestruck look on his faceplate when the first verse spilled from their lips.

Swerve tells the patrons that he had admired Buddy’s talent and ended up asking them their com line, so when he did have his own bar, he would contact them.

Not many are convinced that this is true, or at least the whole truth.

Thanks to a certain minibot with a camera bolted to his helm, he had the story on what happened after the show.

Swerve had been a nervous wreck the entire performance.

Buddy had noticed him in the crowd looking like he was going to short circuit at any moment.

Honestly, if they could, they would have stopped singing to go check up on the minibot.

After their performance they personally went to the minibot to see if he was okay.

Swerve stumbling out of the bar only to bump into someone’s leg.

“Oh! Sorry about that! Didn’t watch where I was going and—”--Swerve

His voice stops as he looks up at the beauty that was on stage a mere second ago.

“Are you okay? You looked like you needed help back there.”--Buddy

“N-nope! I mean Nah, I’m good. I’m fine! Everything’s fine!”--Swerve

Buddy smiles at him.

“I’m Buddy. What’s your name?”--Buddy

“Swerve…”--Swerve

“Well Swerve, I’ve been singing at this bar for a while now to know most of the regulars, yet, I’ve never seen you around.”--Buddy

“Yeah, Kind of looking around seeing how bars go and all. I wanna make a place of my own one day with a friend of mine and, well, I wanted to see what gets the bots coming back, besides the engex of course.”--Swerve

Buddy chuckles a bit looking at the flustered minibot.

They look over at the slightly less crowded booth at one corner of the bar.

“There’s an empty booth over there and I sure could go for a drink… do you mind accompanying me? Maybe talk a bit more about that bar of yours.”--Buddy

Swerve thinks for a second before agreeing to the drink.

He did end up giving them his private comline that night and Buddy ended up having a nice night with a cute minibot.

The rest was history.

No one had yet figured out how Buddy could stand to be with Swerve and his rambling.

They were quiet and had a neutral look on their faceplate when they weren’t performing. Yet here they were listening to Swerve’s chatter before and after their performances without any complaint.

If anything, few bots have seen smiles, chuckles and bits of laughter from the taller bot.

“What’s between you and Buddy anyways?”--Brainstorm

“Well it all started—”--Swerve

“Yes, I get that part, but what are you two exactly? Surely, Amica Endura or maybe you haven’t worked up to that point yet.”

Swerve gives the bot a confused look.

“They’re my Conjunx?”—Swerve

Brainstorm feels his optic twitch.

“What?”--Brainstorm

“They’re my—”--Swerve

“I heard that! But how?! Your you and Buddy is… Just how?!”--Brainstorm

Swerve shrugs as Buddy takes the stage.

Brainstorm walks back to his table with Chromedome and Rewind pouting.

“I still don’t believe what he said.”—Brainstorm

Chromedome looks up from his engex.

“What did Swerve say?”--Chromedome

“He said he and Buddy are Conjunx Endura.”—Brainstorm

Chromedome nearly spits out his drink.

Rewind seems unfazed by this news.

“Really?!”--Chromedome

“Knew it.”—Rewind

Both bots look at the minibot curiously.

“And how did you know?”--Chromedome

Rewind points to the stage.

“Watch the optics.”--Rewind

The group looks at Buddy’s optics.

They are firmly planted at the bartender pouring their voice into the love song in the mic.

“… Maybe he’s right…”--Brainstorm

That's them!

[braunbakery]

I’m sorry if this is rude but would you ever write a sequel to little sparrow? Like what happens between jean and reader and Mikasa after reader confesses to him?

poison oak

☞ jean kirstein x fem reader

☞ sequel to little sparrow, word count: 3k

☞ sfw, angst angst angst, canon-verse [post aot finale.]

☞ plot: there comes a point where whatever false comfort you and jean are afforded by pretending what you said on the boat never happened hurts more than you can bear.

☞ inspired by poison oak - bright eyes

☞ poison oak

the nightmares will never truly leave.

this is something that you all know full well. know to your deepest cores as the paradis demons, the paradis survivors, the paradis warriors. heroes. it needs not to be talked about, to be acknowledged or discussed.

and yet, they seem almost worse now that you awaken to safety. now that you can awaken to the knowledge of a war victoriously won and finally over. it seems even near the calm flickering and warmth of a fire at your bedside, or the crickets chirping outside a window, your mind cannot forget. it seems easier to have a nightmare when you were living in one.

jean knows this all too well, as he remains between sleep and consciousness tossing and turning until his bedsheets are all but crumbled into a bundle on his mattress. this is the routine – one he knows that he and his friends often undergo – especially in the nights following the end of the final battle for peace.

sometimes he is a young boy again – fifteen and watching his friends be devoured by beasts beyond comprehension. sometimes he is older and wiser, but still inhabited by that same fear and dread that has followed him from his most innocent and tarnished youth just to face enemies that look just like him. sometimes there are guns and sometimes blades. sometimes he is surrounded by comrades and sometimes he is isolated and staring up at the wall that dictated his very existence until countless died to be rid of it.

and sometimes – not often, not nearly as often as he would like – his nightmares are interrupted by an ocean breeze and your blurry silhouette in front of him. back at that boat before the final stretch. you’re speaking – he can hear your voice and make out your figure moving – yet he can’t make out the words.

he doesn’t need to. he knows this scene well enough since the day it happened.

his mouth moves of its own volition and he can barely even see from this cursed blur cast onto his vision – but he knows he is clasping your shoulder and he knows what words will come next out of his mouth.

“i need to go.”

and then he is awake.

*~*

it’s easy to get wrapped up in whatever comes after the war.

months go by and you’re signing treaties and mourning and meeting officials and reinstating civilisations alongside your comrades – but it’s barely ever that you all get to be friends. no, these moments are few and in between yet when they come it is like an air of gratefulness settles into the room until once more you are all interrupted by whatever duties are bestowed upon you next.

you are somewhat thankful for this business – obviously not for the horrors of that final battle or the things witnessed and lives lost – but for this sudden political leadership you and your comrades now share. you do not have time to think of jean and your confession. sometimes thoughts of it do slip in, it is hard not to when you have to see him so often those first few months, but now it has been a year and you have all gone on to follow your respective lives.

that constant underlying ache for him has turned into an occasional sting. you love jean. you do. it is a fact written into the crevices of your soul since your youth – but you owe it to yourself to live. to torture yourself no more with thoughts of him.

(“how have you been?” he says to you in the corner of the meeting room you are all situated in. you’re both currently stood at the small make-shift coffee and tea station set up for you all and pouring yourself a cup.

“oh!” you had not realised jean had sidled up beside you, “good! um…i’m alright.”

jean’s eyes flit between both of yours and suddenly you’re filled with the same embarrassment you used to feel when you would get tangled up in your ODM gear when you were younger and jean would double over laughing at you. he brings up a hand to the back of his neck.

you both have not spoken of that day on the boat and you certainly do not plan to bring it up.

“good…” jean eventually replies, “that’s good.”

“sorry,” you blurt out, “how’re you?” jean is grinning at your perceived impoliteness.

“tired,” he candidly blurts out and now it’s your turn to beam at him.

“i think we all are,” you say, and jean nods at you until suddenly his hand is coming up towards you. closer and closer and you’re frozen to the spot, you don’t even notice that you’ve stopped breathing. all you can think of is his hand’s nearing proximity to your face until suddenly it stops right at your eye.

he lightly brushes his thumb under your eye – the sure sign of your sleepless nights. you’re looking up at him lost for words as he mindlessly stares at the slight darkness painting your undereye.

when he locks eyes with you, it’s like he has suddenly realised himself and with an all too quick motion jerks his hand away from your face and stares at the ground.

“yeah, i’d say that’s right,” he sheepishly mumbles.

you hand him the teapot and both stand in silence until you’re called back to the meeting table.

and then like a well-trained dog, whenever you catch him look at mikasa (whether sparingly, whether a glance or his utmost focus as she speaks), you stare down at your clasped hands in an attempt to no longer involve yourself in whatever wreckage jean kirstein unconsciously makes of your heart.)

sometimes he writes to you.

a meeting of the so-called ‘heroes’ has become infrequent and only once every few months. you’ve all settled in different places some far and some close. sometimes you meet without the guise of peace and restoration, and sometimes that very guise is what’s needed for you all to see each other again.

so, you resort to writing. it’s you that starts it.

you write to everyone. you want to know of their plans, of their news homes, new lives, new directions. armin writes back the most – always lengthy responses and curiosity practically emanating off the parchment paper. in the times you have all met between these letters everyone has expressed their dismay for having to sit and write (‘as much as we’ve gone through together, you know i’m not writing,’ connie quips), yet at least once a month you receive something.

this is excluding jean, who week after week has something to say back to you.

he writes of new friends, new hobbies, new places, new desire for exploration. he writes and he writes and he writes, answering every question you have and asking his own. and it’s hard not to get too wrapped in it – you are childhood friends, you are soldiers in arms. and you have only just been able to resolve the heartache from the boat into a rough reminder that only comes and goes.

so with every letter (every poorly-scrawled joke and sudden idea and ‘yours truly’) you swallow your beaming smile and read as if this were anyone of the others writing to you.

*~*

eventually you do all meet, months later, at a bar.

it’s rounds of beers and dastardly jokes and everyone chortling at connie and jean rough-housing each other like they were teenagers once more. it’s reiner being forced to chug pints with a red face as connie insist he loosen up and ‘you’re the biggest here, you need to catch up.’

jean meets your eyes as everyone cheers and all you can think is that you are so happy to see him so at ease. to no longer see him as that haunted boy on the boat. your eyes meet jeans and all he can think is that he is so happy to see you here with everyone (which includes him. here with him.)

a lull of silence falls over the table eventually and you look up at jean to find him already staring at you. you offer him a small smile, overcome by the smooth buzz of alcohol and the warmth of the bar, and he reciprocates yet neither one of you looks away.

in the depths of your mind, you can feel whatever thoughts of him you have supressed over time come crawling out once more and you wonder if you are both to go on with the rest of your lives without ever mentioning what happened that day long ago. the silence breaks and everyone’s head turns to reiner, who’s holding up his half empty glass.

“to eren,” he declares, and you can practically hear mikasa’s breath hitch in her throat from next to you. around the table you can see the slight glaze over everyone’s eye, the sudden realisation that you truly did all make it out, “and to everyone else lost.” reiner continues.

slowly but surely, everyone’s glasses are raised up to the air and you’re back to years before inspecting jean’s every move like you can practically bore your eyes through his head and read his thoughts. and as your arm is outstretched in tribute to those who should be here with you today, you realise that jean is not looking at you.

he is looking at mikasa, as a single tear slowly trails its way down her cheek. he looks and he looks and he looks, even after everyone places their drinks back on the table with a synchronous clink. everyone is sharing a sympathetic glance at her, but in your most selfish moment you stare at jean.

you slowly watch as he stretches out his hand across the table and gently clasps it over hers, offering her a consoling smile and looking at her in ways you could only dream. sometimes you think maybe this is the look he gives you, maybe this is what you see when his eyes suddenly catch yours across the room or when he had brushed his thumb under your eye or when he tells you he looks forward to your next letter. but no – the look you long for is in front of you between him and her. from him to her.

without even thinking, you clasp your hand on mikasa’s shoulder and make your way off of your chair and suddenly jean is quickly retracting his own from hers. you cannot even spare him a look. you feel so selfish, you feel so dumb. you made it through battle upon battle and monstrosity upon monstrosity yet for some reason you cannot make it through whatever you feel for jean.

“think i’m done for the night,” you blurt out, voice slightly slurred from the amount of drinks you’ve had – though you suspect everyone else’s voices are similar. through everyone’s boos and goodbye’s you can hear jean.

“what?”

but you can barely spare him a glance before you’re grabbing your coat from the back of your chair, crossing the room and leaving the bar with no hesitation.

*~*

it’s only ‘til you’re halfway down the cobblestone street where the bar is that you realise the reason you’re so uncomfortable and cold and wet is because it is raining and you forgot your damn umbrella in the bar. so swept up in thoughts of a man who doesn’t love you that now you’re standing in the middle of the street at god knows what time looking like a fool.

jean kirstein doesn’t love you.

does jean kirstein love you?

why doesn’t jean kirstein love you?

maybe you were fine with whatever lingering glance and weekly letter and small yet fleeting touch. maybe a deep most embarrassing part of your mind thought perhaps he was growing to. maybe some convoluted side of you thought that perhaps with this much effort he put into sustaining your friendship, something else could be there. maybe–

“hey!” a voice calls after you in the distance.

you instinctively turn around and of course, of course, it’s him in all of his glory standing in the rain with your folded umbrella in hand and raised towards you.

“i think you forgot something,” he says and he starts to jog towards you. when he notices your hair dripping wet and your face almost laminated as he reaches you he can’t help but laugh, “though i’m a little late.”

“thanks,” you muster out, but you can’t seem to manage to take the umbrella from him. you can’t seem to move at all. jean frowns. he knows that something is wrong, and you can tell that he knows. it’s not like you (you who insists on writing letters, on meeting every few months, on reminiscing and appreciating and loving those who have come all this way with you) to suddenly leave without another word.

“what’s wrong?” jean starts, staring down at you staring down at your shoes.

you can’t speak until suddenly a hand is lightly touching your chin and tugging your face up. you’re met with his face and you hope – you pray – that he cannot notice whatever tears may or may not have escaped and that he may think your sniffling is from spending time out in the rain and not from this sudden sadness that feels like it’s taking over your every limb.

sadness for what? for something that never was?

“i’m going to bed, jean,” you say, slightly angling your chin away from his hand which remains in mid-air despite your movement.

“tell me,” he repeats, “tell me what’s wrong.”

you stare at his wet hair that has started to stick to his forehead for a moment. for a few. until suddenly you realise that he’s begging. he’s begging. he’s begging for you to tell him…to say it. and surely by now he can tell it’s from all that time ago, when you were bearing your soul to him in what could have been your final moments alive with each other. he must know. he has to know.

it's when he slightly nods his head at you as he watches you rummage through your own thoughts that he does know. he just wants you to say it.

“you’ll never love me, will you, jean?”

“that’s–”

“jean, please,” you snap, “just be honest with me. you owe it to me.”

“i know i do, i…” he feels like he’s barely able to enunciate. barely able to keep the words pouring out of him before they even make sense in head, “i’m sorry about the boat.”

your heart is rising and falling and rising and falling and you don’t think you would’ve ever heard any acknowledgment about what happened that day for as long as you lived. you thought that despite the fact that the both have you have faced enemies larger than life, you would both have never faced that day together.

“yeah,” you barely mouth out.

“i’m sorry i didn’t say anything. i’m sorry i…i just left. i don’t know why i–” he cuts himself off with two hands up to his hair, scrunching and pulling at it like his life depends on it, “the last thing i ever wanted was to hurt you.”

“it’s a bit late for that,” you can’t help but spitefully remark. you hate what this has made you into, this bitter and sad person this heartache has rendered you into.

“i know,” he breathes, “i know. but i…” it’s like it’s paining him to speak, and it’s a miracle you can even hear each other over the raindrops colliding down onto the street beneath you. your chests are both heaving and your breath is evaporating into steam in front of you. your clothes are soaked all the way through and jean’s are certainly on the way to being the same.

“…you?” you urge.

“i think i do.”

what?

“what?”

his hands are suddenly on your shoulders and his eyes are boring into you and you can feel the steam of his breath on your cheeks.

“i think i do,” he says again, voice racing itself, “like, really really do. i know it’s mean to say this now, i know it’s selfish. but i just need time. i just need to let go, somehow.”

you can taste the salt of your tears.

“let go of her, you mean?” and jeans eyebrows scrunch at the fact that you know full well what he means. he’s always known that you’ve know – sure, he saw your reaction at the bar – he just never imagined that you’d speak it aloud. speak it aloud to him.

he swallows, “yeah.”

you’re tired, you’re so so tired.

“i’m going to bed, jean,” and you start turning and wrenching yourself out of his grasp, but his hand is now around your wrist holding you in place.

“wait,” he urgently blurts, “please.”

“jean,” you tearfully sigh. this is not the life you want to live. you did not survive for this. you did not fight and win and go on just to still have your heart dictated by jean and mikasa.

“please,” he says again, slowly.

“jean, i’ve been waiting for you for years, whether i’ve liked it or not.”

“i know–”

“and now we have no war. now we have people, we have lives. we have something more than bloodshed.”

this time, jean lets you when you carefully tear yourself out of his grasp and fully face him.

“and i’m not letting myself spend what we have now waiting.”

*~*

that night, you take your umbrella from jean and walk to the nearby inn that you have all purchased rooms in for your stay without ever opening it. you listen to your feet echo against the empty cobblestone street and thank yourself that you turned and left before you could stare at jean’s back leaving you like before.

when you get to your room, you strip off all of your clothes and leave them in a heaped damp puddle in the corner of the room, then sit at your bed alone staring out the window. the wind slightly batters against the wooden panes and you can hear its distant howl.

it’s then that you realise you are somehow still on that boat. and maybe you are cursed to never leave.

thanks for reading :) feel free to request (please something other than jean dear god)

[deathmetalunicorn1]

Giant moon goddess in one piece?

-It was an unusually calm night, there was no wind, and no waves, the Sunny was completely still under the bright moonlight. But that just made for perfect conditions for a drinking party!

-Plenty of drinks and booze, music, dancing and just having fun, the Straw Hats were enjoying themselves, having a rare calm moment.

-A large shooting star streaked across the sky and they all called out in amazement before calling out their various wishes, money, more food, more drink, adventures, cotton candy, and more.

-They weren’t expecting the start to suddenly change course, turning sharply and charged towards them, making many of them scream out in fear.

-The star hit hard into the ocean before them, causing a massive wave to hit the ship, one that nearly had it tipping over if it hadn’t been for Franky’s failsafe, to keep it from tipping.

-Luffy ran to the edge of the ship, seeing the bright glow under the waves, and his eyes widened as it got closer and closer, as if it was surfacing.

-A large pair of hands, ones that seemed to be even more massive than the largest giant, Oars, picked up the ship, to keep it from rocking as a massive figure emerged from the water.

-Long flowing hair that seemed to shine like the moon itself, dark colored eyes that looked to house stars, and a soft, sweet smile against milky white skin- you were stunning.

-Gaping mouths and wide eyes were all that you had seen across the ship as you smiled, lowering it back into the water as you shrunk down, “Forgive me if I startled you- I heard you all calling out and I thought you were calling out to me.”

-Brook immediately bowed at the waist, in awe of you, “May I see your panties?!” before several of them whacked him on the head, disciplining him.

-You didn’t seem bothered, lowering yourself a bit more as Sanji had hearts for eyes, telling you how beautiful you were, as Luffy had stars for eyes, “Who are you?!”

-His enthusiasm was refreshing, and it made you smile, “My name is Y/N- I am a moon goddess.” They all seemed stunned at your words, as they had dealt with ‘gods’ before, but there was something different about you- something ethereal, unearthly.

-Jinbei, being well versed, gave you a toothy grin, “I often heard tales about how a moon goddess could be seen on calm nights. Seems like it’s not a tale after all!”

-You smiled softly, giving him a small nod, “You are correct young one, I like to spread my wings and fly on clear nights, as I like how the sparkling lights dance on the calm waters below.”

-Jinbei seemed a bit flustered, being called young one, as if he were a child, but if you were a moon goddess, you were way older than he was.

-The Straw Hats welcomed you to their party, despite not being able to accommodate you for food or drink, but you didn’t mind- you just enjoyed being included.

-Zoro and Sanji showed off for you, using their combat skills to fight one another, at least until it got serious and Nami had to punch them, sending them both to the ground, “Knock it off!!”

-Chopper was initially scared of you, since you were so large, but he quickly learned that you were very gentle and kind, despite your massive size.

-Robin and Franky both asked you questions, mostly about the past, wanting to know if you had seen technology and civilizations of the past, “I have seen many things come and go- as much as it pains me to say but nothing lasts forever. But I always enjoy watching you humans build and discover- it’s never the same each time.”

-Usopp was bragging to you, trying to make himself feel big in your eyes, but he didn’t need to, as you found him amusing on his own.

-Luffy was so warm, so welcoming, there was something about him, something special but also familiar. A flash of someone crossed your mind for a moment, a bright smile on his face and your eyes softened, happy to feel his warmth once again.

-As the moon began to set and sun began to rise you rose out of the water, showing your long flowing dress that looked to be black with jewels littering it, almost like the night sky, “My time is coming for us to say goodbye until we meet again.”

-They all cheered up at you, calling out to you, thanking you for the evening and you smiled softly, “And thank you all. It was nice to meet new friends, as well as an old one.” As you said this, you looked at Luffy, who was confused, wondering what you had meant.

-You parted with another smile, floating up before taking off into the sky, rejoining the stars before streaking across the sky once more, like a shooting star.

-They all looked at Luffy, wondering if he knew what you meant by an old friend. His hands came to his hips, a big smile on his face as he laughed warmly. They all smiled, a bit exasperated with their captain, it seemed only he knew the secret, for now.

[0oolookitsme]

Been Thinking

Type- One-Shoty Blurb

Verse- Dwd!Harry x Dwd!Y/n

Word Count- 1.6k

Warnings- Smut (soft dominance, a few curse words)

A/n- And, here's the first fic of kinktober!

Kinks- Phone Sex, Guided Masturbation

KINKTOBER MASTERLIST | MASTERLIST

Please rb to share!

Harry was just saving his last document of the day when a meeting was pulled. A meeting that could very well have been done over a few emails, but alas, they couldn't do something that would save their employees even a little of their time.

Thinking that he would only be a bit late, he went into the room not having any idea about his own self that'd be coming out of the same room with 8 files stacked up in his hand. All the ones that needed to be done tonight.

He sat on his chair with all the files sprawled across his desk, and looked at his empty coffee cup in dread. He did not have it in him to go and fetch himself some. So, as unwilling as he was, he defeatedly called the general assistant. Her job was to do just that – it was just Harry who couldn't benefit from it much often considering her infatuation with him.

"A coffee please," he said just when she peeked through the door, slipping his cup that Y/n had left there for him across the desk to have her stay as away from him as possible.

She didn't seem much chirpy today though, considering she just took the cup and left silently – without making any shot at him. It made Harry feel a little relieved, the thought of her finally backing off.

Without much thought, he powered on his laptop and at the same time, dialled up Y/n. He was just calling to let her know that he wouldn't be coming home for the night. And she was normal about it, cursing his office a bit and making him laugh.

It was when he was about to wish her a good night that she muttered something in a small, frail voice. Harry felt alarmed that something was wrong but he figured the problem when she repeated herself on his demand.

"Was thinking about you all day," she said, and after a long pause wished him a good night, hanging up a little later than normal – as if she was waiting for some kind of response. A response that Harry stupidly enough couldn't give. He was just so shocked at her words – she had never been this loud with her needs before. Yes, it's only been six months in their arranged wedding but… still.

Feeling like a prick, he decided to give it a rest. Putting his phone on the desk and just wishing for the coffee to be down his throat already.

Opening up files on his laptop, his head couldn't help but replay the little voice she had very kindly – and indirectly – voiced her needs to him. She said that she had been thinking about him all day, which must mean that she was also eager for him to come home tonight.

God, he can't believe what he's just done. Turned down the needs of the woman who's been making him weak in his knees ever since she's been with him, just because he was too stunned to speak? Rubbing his palm over his hair and fixing his hair a bit, he decided to call her back.

Not the regular call. But, a video call.

He wasn't ready for her to pick up on the first ring. But when he saw her face, he knew that she hadn't intended to pick up. Her hair was a little tousled, lips bitten and plump, eyes a little hazy and, because he squinted, he saw a fine layer of sweat on her forehead.

She surely wasn't sleeping or crying, but Harry shouldn't be thinking about what she really was doing – even though it was as clear as his eye sight.

He immediately opened his mouth and I speak before she could panik. "Don't hang up!" He said quickly. "Please," he trailed off when she paused. For a moment, all he could see was their bedroom ceiling but then she picked up the phone again – her hair now a little matted and sweat wiped off her face.

"I- uh, I'm sorry. I was just-" she stuttered, trying to come up with an explanation, with a lie. However, a shushing sound came through the phone, catching her off guard.

"It's okay, Y/n," he said and she felt a flutter in her stomach at the sound of her name from his mouth. "It should be me apologizing. And I-I'm very sorry," he said, looking at himself with slight disgust in his own brain at his words.

Looking away from him and probably picking at the bedsheet, "it's okay," she said, just as shyly.

"So, tell me. What were you thinking, Y/n?" He spoke, and she couldn't help but clench her thighs tighter.

"Nothing… just about when you'll be home and what would you like for dinner and stuff," she mumbled and while that was a very innocent answer, Harry couldn't help but see past the bullshit.

Humming, he pretended he was thinking hard about something. "Well, I'm not coming home tonight now, am I, darling?" He teased her, feeling more and more dominant in the situation as the time passed by.

Y/n only nodded in response, her eyes never once staying still.

"You can pretend all you want, love. But I can see the fucking mess you've made of yourself," he said impatiently, his voice now hoarse in an attempt to be a little quiet. And also, because under all the nervousness, Y/n's hand had lowered and he could see her red finger prints on her breasts, from when he imagined she was gripping them.

He could see the tips of her ears turn pink, yet she didn't make any effort to cover herself.

"Make that mouth of yours useful, and tell me – were you really thinking about that? Hm?"

"No," she breathed, rolling her lips in and shifting on the bed. "Just wanted you," she continued.

"Where baby?"

"Anywhere. Just wanted you so bad," she whispered lightly, a slight tingle in her nose.

Harry licked his lips, feeling worse about having to stay the night. "Look at you, poor thing. I'm very sorry baby, can't do much from here." He sighed. Leaning back, he put in his airpods. "Help me out a little, will you?" He more of suggested and only smiled when she agreed.

Getting impatien, he cut right to the subject. "Touch yourself for me. I'm here, and I'm listening," he told her, also surprising her.

She hesitated but lied back down when he cooed at her, muttering sweet names as her hand crawled lower and lower. "I can't see you, sweet girl. Put your phone on my bedside table," Harry instructed her, and she did it quickly, desperate for anything type of touch now.

The wetness had started slipping out of her. Her thighs felt wet whenever they rubbed and she was sure some of it was on the bedsheet as well. She knew, that if she touched herself now, she wouldn't be able to last for long. Her nipples were perky and sensitive – a whimper left her mouth with every accidental graze in them.

"Go on, Y/n. Won't give it to your husband?" He said, and Y/n swears she could've came right then and there. Instead, a moan slipped past her lips, and she heard him curse under his breath.

He saw as her hand cover her core, could see her inner thigh that was away from him glistening, and god, does he hate his boss. When her knuckles started moving, Harry could tell that she was in ecstasy. Small sounds started escaping her mouth and the moment she looked at him and sucked her fingers – Harry knew that he hadn't married a woman as innocent as he had thought.

Breathing out with each stroke on her clit, her back arched off the bed. "What are you thinking, Y/n?" She heard him ask, and without much thought she told him.

"About you, Harry. Your fingers, your cock, your mouth," she ranted, her pace increasing with each word.

Harry saw how she was slipping out of her shell, voicing her fantasies to him. And just when he was about to tease her, he heard something. Then again, and again.

She said she was going to come. No, she was yelling his name. No, she's chasing her high, and she's yelling his name. "Fucking hell, Y/n." He gritted through his teeth, feeling like he was going to burst just by the sight of her and the yell of his name in her voice.

"Fuck, I already love you moaning my name," he grunted.

Y/n was long lost now, her hips chasing her own hand as she continued moaning his name.

Harry saw her thighs start to quiver and he prayed that they'd be around his head the next time – while he sucked on her again and again. "I can't hear you – louder, baby." He urged her own, feeling pleasure in her pleasure.

"Fuck, Harry!" She screamed right when her thighs cleanched around her hand. Her other hand kneading her boob a little lightly now.

Her cheeks were flushed, sweat coated her hairline and her forehead, her eyes were squeezed shut and her body shook as her hand was still rubbing her core, getting her through her high.

Slowly and slowly, her hand came out of the cage of her thighs, and went right up to her mouth as she once again looked at him while sucking on them. A smile creeped up on her mouth and once she got a hold of her phone again, she couldn't help but let out a laugh at the sight of his sweaty face.

"You really don't know the things you do to me, Y/n," he said hoarsely, letting his head fall back and shutting his eyes tightly..

"Neither did you until now," she shrugged with a grin spreading on her face, and she knew she was in too deep when he chuckled.

[andy-wm]

3D by JK (feat. JH) - my take.

Ok, unpopular opinion maybe, and I might get my ass beaten for this (not in a good way 🤣)

Feel free to disagree RESPECTFULLY.

Disclaimer: If anyone comes at me with that cancel bullshit I will block you, because we all get to have an opinion.

If my post enrages you, scroll past until you can be civil, then come back and talk. Or block me. I dont mind.

And don't tell me that because I don't love this song I have to hand in my ARMY card... I'm not going to.

🙂💜🙂

I'll start by saying I love JK so, so much. Adore him. Will always support him.

But for me, 3D is a misstep.

My feeling is Hybe should have reconsidered releasing it as it is.

JK's lyrics are fun and sexy. The innuendo is on point. The melody is great and the chorus has excellent sing-along value. Even though I'm not a huge pop music fan, I like the vibe.

The MV dancers are awesome, and I got a kick out of the fire hydrant metaphor.

And in that jacket with nothing under it, JK looks hot enough to melt asphalt.

However....

Including Jack Harlow's rap IMO is a mistake. It sucks, frankly. Not in a good way.

It not only misses the mark on the tone of the rest of the song but his lyrics are really just offensive. Misogynistic. And racial refrences are just... not cricket. It's 2023 not 1995, regardless of what his hairstyle tells you.

His lyrics sound like an incel bragging about their sex life when all they've ever done is watch porn. From his words, I doubt he knows how to please any person but himself.

His message is gross, but its still just... generic. Like he went to urban dictionary for spicy language and then googled how to treat women like shit. There's nothing original about what he's saying. He's not even being gross in an intersting way. It's gross AND boring.

(Jack, if you're reading this, sorry my guy you gotta do better.)

I've been army since 2018 and this is the first BTS song I have tried to find merit in and given up.

I honestly tried to be into it and i just... can't. It doesn't sit well with me.

This is a new experience for me because even when BTS release something i don't immediately love, i still stream and watch and let it sink in, or I work on figuring out what I am missing and why it's ACTUALLY good even if i can't grasp it.

This... it's just... not good, in my opinion.

I have to clarify here...

It isn't about explicit content, i am totally down for that. If anyone read my post on Seven, they will know my response to that song. In a nutshell, I believe all adults who want to, should happily and shamelessly be doing ALL the horizontal tango. Every type, every day, in every way. With anyone and everyone they fancy as long as all parties are informed and consenting adults who are equally enjoying the experience.

Yes. I am all about getting down.

That doesn't mean treating your partners like a body count or using and abusing them with no consideration. That's not cool.

**PSA: please be safe and use protection. Get tested regularly if you have multiple partners. Don't do anything you don't feel good about and dont stay with partners who harm or manipulate you 💜**

Now, back to the smut.

Some criticisms i saw of Seven were about how dirty it was. A few people were upset because JK said fuck, and because he sang about how and when he liked to fuck. But more criticism was levelled at Letto. Why?

It seemed like it was because she's a woman, singing about sex.

Letto totally owns her sexuality and she knows what she wants. I snorted with delight at how deliciously filthy her lyrics were. Some very clever wordplay made her verse so visceral, and pretty shocking to the pearl-clutchers, without her ever saying anything directly. I really enjoyed it.

She was telling us straight up how good she is in bed. Good for her. She totally rocks. And she wasn't disrespecting anyone. She didn't need to do that to make herself cool AF.

The difference between Letto's rap and jack harlow's is that jack sounds like he's just looking at the women he's singing about as a hole to stick his dick in. Women have fought for long enough for equality and respect. They don't need this bullshit. You can sing about getting down, and you can be absolutely filthy and nasty and wild, and you can do it without degrading your partners.

I did read a theory about this song being social commentary on toxic masculinity. You can find it here and you can read it below:

Its not bad as a theory. At least it wouldn't be if Namjoon or Yoongi or Hobi - or Jungkook himself - had written the song. If that were the situation we'd see some inkling of self awareness in the rap, and maybe a hint of character development. But there's none.

Sorry ARMY, this is not the class of lyricism we have come to expect.

If jack is trying to make a social statement^*, or play a character, he is not succeeding in showing any growth or humanity at all. He's really just that stereotype.

In the last few lines, after he offers to fly his victim from Korea to Kentucky, he says "and you ain’t gotta guarantee me nothing I just wanna see if I get lucky."

How considerate...

All I see is zero care factor about the actual person he's trying to get with. Which is quite different from JK's lyrics, which show awareness that he's interacting with a conscious, living human being, not a piece of furniture.

jack follows with "I just wanna meet you in the physical and see if you would touch me"

Ugh. Not with a ten foot pole, douchebag.

And how about, in his first verse "All my ABGs get cute for me"

Good god, really? Is he seriously saying this?

So its a no for me.

The ONLY saving grace is that there's an alternative version which is pretty fun. It's almost as if Hybe knew we would hate the version with jack harlow. Wow, such insight!

Now, i know that's not the only reason they made an alternative. They needed a clean version for US radio play (let's be real, what possible other purpose can this song serve? *°)

But they could have censored jack's... actually they couldn't. The rap verses can't be salvaged. They genuinely have no merit, the only hope for the song is totally removing them.

What does that tell you?

ARMY will no doubt still chart the main track but personally, I would feel morally compromised if i supported that version. So I'll stick to the alternative and hope for better things to come.

------------

^* Stylecaster doesnt think so either. I visited their website to check thr lyrics. They said, of D3, "Meanwhile, Jack Harlow brings the cool with his two verses as he raps about all the women he could pull"

Uh, really? I hope that's intended to be ironic.

*° The MV had only 4.5million views after 12 hours. And we know what brilliant strategists Hybe employs. I am travelling in Korea right now. There was no promo visible here. And it was no accident that it was released at lunchtime on Chuseok - the biggest famiily holiday of the year - when relatively few people in Korea would be available to engage with it. THEY KNEW IT WAS A STINKER.

[atiny-for-life]

Creative Spotlight #1: Kim Hongjoong

Masterlist

Intro: With so many new Atinys coming in, I figured now would be a good time to shed some light on all the boys' creative solo projects over the years, big and small.

Photography

Hongjoong's love for photography goes way back to his predebut days. In one of the first videos ever uploaded to their channel, you can already see him holding a camera on the set of Pirate King.

2 years ago, in 2022, he got to announce his first photo exhibition, FROM NOVEMBER 7, 1998, as a birthday present to himself, which took place from November 1st to 7th at gallery99 and was used to collect money for charity.

There was no entrance fee but spots had to be reserved online to ensure there'd be no dangerous crowding. During the exhibition, there was a little event planned for all attendees in which fans could collect points which were then converted to money that was later donated under Hongjoong and Atiny's name. The total donated amount was 10 million won!

In Logbook Episode 101, we got to see Hongjoong visit the exhibition himself and take a stroll through memory lane.

Due to the success of the 2022 exhibition, Hongjoong held another one last year which took place between November 3rd and 9th, 2023, and was titled A Walker - the event was accompanied by the release of an original song and led to the donation of 50 million won under Hongjoong's and Atiny's name to the Korea Childhood Leukemia Foundation.

BY. HONGJOONG

Back in 2018, Hongjoong shared during their stay in LA as KQ Fellaz, that he barely went to school since he already started producing music during his high school days. And yes, this is during the same tear jerking monologue where he calls Ateez his family for the first time and says he needs to hurry so he can see their sleeping faces before he goes to bed.

The first time we get to see Hongjoong fully in action as a producer is during his first 1-Day-Vlog in 2020 in which he's working on his Prince cover (more on that in a second).

But now to the main event: Hongjoong has an entire series going where he covers some of his all time favorite songs. Whenever he does, he likes to make the songs his own by recording his own instrumental track and typically adding an additional Korean rap verse with self-written lyrics highlighting his interpretation of the song's message.

Kicking things off with Space Oddity by David Bowie, a classic.

Side Note: As a lover of unisex clothing/androgyny, Hongjoong is likely not just inspired musically by Bowie, but also fashion wise. You can learn more about Bowie's influence on the climate surrounding gender and sexuality here.

Dressed in white, matching both his hair and the background, Hongjoong turned himself into a clean canvas on which he projected first footage of Bowie and later some floating orbs - it's very aesthetic.

Between the original verses and chorus, he placed a Korean rap verse in which he writes from Major Tom's perspective and laments his mental state while stuck alone in outer space, asking ground control to tell his mom he loves her while stating he still appreciates the beauty of space but feels lost and lonely all by himself.

Next up, we've got Purple Rain by Prince, another classic.

Side Note: Like Bowie, Prince too was famous for being androgynous in how he presented himself and toying with what society deemed masculine and feminine. He's famous to this day among the queer community for how persistently he defied gender norms and labels. Learn more about him here.

Instead of filming himself, we get a lyric video this time, fully kept in pastel lavender. Once again, Hongjoong added a rap verse of his own in which he speaks to a lost friend, talking about how he hopes that, even though they're apart now, his friend will still recall him as being sincere and that they can still think of each other fondly and remember the good times.

In a far more elaborate production, we've got Black or White by Michael Jackson up next.

Using green screen and multiple outfits, we get a fun spectacle of a little passion project featuring multiple versions of Hongjoong, background collages, emojis, and more:

Despite being shorter than the other covers, we still get the signature rap verse preceded by his famous giggle and, this time, he's got quite a bit to say.

Diving into the lyrics, he talks about how we're all different colors. Colors which are meant to be mixed. Our roots don't define us. Throughout life, we'll all get mixed up with each other, as we should. He doesn't want to see us divided. To quote: "What's wrong with you, babe? Stop it. You've already experienced the 20th century. Blah blah by dividing groups."

The song ends with the rap verse before the video dives into the making of in which Hongjoong specifically addresses his intent to talk about social issues like Michael Jackson famously used to while he was alive (think: They Don't Really Care About Us).

So long time by Yoon Jong Shin comes next with a sepia-toned video featuring Hongjoong at a grand piano. It's a pretty ballad highlighting his vocals and the use of multiple camera angles allows us to watch him play.

Shortly before we hit the 2 minute mark, Hongjoong gets up and we transition from the shot of the piano to a cassette player while the audio shifts to the original for a moment before Hongjoong returns.

We've reached the rap verse where he mourns a lost love, speaking of memories he can't let go of, even as he pretends everything is okay. He's cold and lonely now, a little mad at himself for continuously getting lost in the memories, and calls himself a fool before we return to the cover-part of the song.

At 3:58, the song wraps up and we've reached the making of section of the video where he talks about how his cover stems from the idea of a time machine taking you through the song, with the first verse (playing the piano) being the past, the rap verse symbolizing the present, and the memories then taking back over as he gets lost in them, leading to the piano's return.

Next up, we've got Last Christmas by Wham! which opens to a short clip of Hongjoong's acting on a pretty Christmas film set before we transition to a simple white back drop.

This time, the signature rap verse comes in early at 50 seconds with a little giggle before he talks about leaving the past in the past and moving on, letting the snow settle over painful memories.

However, this time, we also get a second rap verse at 1:45, where it becomes clear he hasn't moved on at all, plus a Korean vocal section at 2:43 which carries through to the end. Here, he highlights even further that he hopes they'll reconnect next winter so they can leave the painful past behind and live out a shared future.

Hongjoong in his emo era. This is the first Ateez-related video I've ever seen because I was born in '96 and my emo phase never ended so of course this was recommended to me when it was first released.

Numb by Linkin Park got the full Hongjoong treatment and was even reported on by Rolling Stone, quote:

The cover began trending on social media and YouTube within hours of its release, but the true prize came a day later when it caught the attention of Linkin Park themselves. The rock band’s official Twitter account ‘liked’ the post on ATEEZ’s page, with co-founder and vocalist Mike Shinoda confirming on a livestream that he’d seen and enjoyed the cover. As of this writing, Hongjoong’s version of “Numb” has over half a million views on YouTube and has garnered tremendous praise from Linkin Park’s fans.

We get the black eye makeup and nail polish, the plaid half skirt, the dramatic music video with fake fog and red lighting. The rap verse comes in hard, talking about getting mentally weighed down by an abuser and finally breaking free, cutting the ties.

As a long time Linkin Park fan, I love how unique this cover is and Chester would've loved it too I'm sure. I wish he could've seen it.

Fools Garden's Lemon Tree is another classic and I come back to it on the regular because the video has such a unique vibe and the song is famous for getting stuck in your head.

The video features Hongjoong alone in a house surrounded by colorful toys and games, bored out of his mind and visibly seeking a distraction from life but failing to find something, no matter how out of pocket his thinking gets.

Shoutout to the license plate - it's the release date of the song, November 3rd, 1995.

At 1:33, Hongjoong sprints off to the basement which is doused in red and we get a warped version of his signature giggle before the rap verse kicks in. The camera work in this section reminds me a bit of his rap verse in Not Okay.

While down there, he gets more and more deranged, talking about being locked up day by day, imprisoned, losing track of time, but being unable to break out. Instead of trying to escape, he just attempts to distract himself, listening to sad songs on a loop until his pain disappears and his world switches back to yellow.

Busking Event

In 2021, Hongjoong decided to put together a busking event featuring live performances of some covers, plus acoustic versions of some of their songs. Accompanying him were both Ateez and Maddox. You can find the full playlist here:

Collaboration

3 months ago, Chungha made a return to the music scene after escaping her former label and chose Hongjoong as a collaboration partner for her new debut. Beyond his rap verse, she also incorporated a move from Crazy Form in the choreography (she's lovely):

[kafus]

i really need to talk about why Gestalt is the perfect song to kick off Kaf's new era a little bit or i'm going to explode

talking about this requires some background knowledge and i'm aware most people who are going to read this probably don't know that much about Kaf so i'll talk about her history a little bit - Gestalt is Kaf's first solo release in a whole year. this is a considerably long time for her, and it's because the person who had been writing her songs for/with her for her entire career, Kanzaki Iori, left Kamitsubaki Studio early last year due to personal complications with himself as an artist (he is still on very good terms with Kaf and the rest of Kamitsubaki's staff!!)

additionally, Kaf's music with Kanzaki had always primarily been centered on various bittersweet and painful themes, but especially the pain of growing up/becoming an adult. this was especially pertinent because Kaf started Being Kaf when she was 14 years old, so she was singing from a place of genuine teenage angst. as she began to inch closer to adulthood and then became an adult herself, however, the feeling of her music shifted from singing about a far-off adult future, to an incredibly immediate one, with songs like her final song with Kanzaki, Kaikou, but especially Kyoukankaku which also came out during those last few months of Kanzaki being around. (i will spare you a whole ramble about these songs, you just have to take my word on the thematics up to this point lol. feel free to look into it further if you like)

so, Kanzaki leaving left Kaf in a bit of a limbo state for a while since so much of her musical identity was built off of her work with him and the topics they explored. she would need to form a new musical identity and figure out where to go from Kanzaki leaving... she spent about a year releasing her last songs with him as well as pumping out covers and collaboration songs with other musicians. but now, finally, she's back to releasing her own work! Gestalt was actually debuted at her KAIKA concert back in January, but only now has the studio release and full music video come out.

Gestalt is representational of her finally entering her new era after this big transitional period. even the official english description for Gestalt says:

KAF embarks on the next stage of her journey.

and oh boy does she!!!

Gestalt looks and feels like a super fun dance song in both the song itself and the MV. the description also says:

Over a year since KAF's last solo release, "Gestalt" is a 'killer dance tune' for the modern age.

and they're right. it is a killer dance tune. this shit slaps. but there's more to it than that.

it's immediately apparent when looking at the lyrics that there's more going on here - take this bit from the official english translation of the first verse for example:

From emotions to configurations When they start to break down I lose all understanding In so many ways Ahh I can't breathe Celebrating suffocation I can't take this

doesn't sound very fun or happy right? sounds chaotic. kaf is suffocating. she is losing her shit. but then it's followed up with:

Drop the beat! This disruptive Unnatural Forbidden gathering "Don't come here" "Don't look there" This is where it all starts to get good It's greedy Warped and twisted But hold me tight It's so hard to get it right, this losing game Seems like working together is the only way

to me, this is Kaf inviting the audience to dance with her amidst the chaos that she and all of us are suffocating in. the "unnatural and forbidden gathering" part is referring to how her and all of us are outcasts of society, how us trying to dance and experience joy while suffocating is looked at strangely. but the only way to survive in "this losing game" (of adult life) is to Work Together! be together!! dance together!!

that idea of being together in spite of suffering is the core message of the entire song, which is even brought out by its title, Gestalt. Gestaltism is essentially the idea that the whole is greater than the sum of its parts, that the whole is worth more than the individual components. both the title and the lyrics of the song emphasize togetherness and dancing as a whole.

this is already a much more optimistic take on those themes of Adulthood Hard and Life Is Pain, portrayed in a much peppier way than Kaf is generally used to. it's familiar, it feels like Kaf, but there's a new spin on it now! it really feels like Kaf is debuting her new era with explosive energy. it's very much "i lived bitch" to me - she's an adult now like she always dreaded being but despite it all she's dancing within the chaos and you should join her for that in this new era!!

but it actually goes deeper than that, because Kaf's MVs have always been made thoughtfully and usually pertain to the meaning of the song, and this one is no different. the animation also ties back into this transition and meaning.

^ these screencaps are from Gestalt (2024) and Just Forget About It (2019) respectively. both music videos were directed by Kawasaki Kenji, who worked on most of Kaf's older music videos and was the person who defined her visual style for a good portion of her career. older Kaf MVs almost always had some element of Kaf existing in real life environments, like some sort of alien girl wandering the streets of Tokyo. she was often put into very mundane locations with a good amount of wide shots, creating this ethereal feeling.

well, Kenji implements those themes into Gestalt for sure... a lot of the MV feels like an older Kaf MV. but there's a couple MAJOR differences...

instead of just idling around and looking wistful like in her older videos, she is DANCING!! and the usual typography in her videos is extremely stylized and much more colorful than usual, plus the environments are decorated with a ton of colorful and overlapping shapes breaking up the relatively mundane and even melancholic looking environment (for the record, "gestalt" is also a type of visual design involving closed shapes, so the typography and shape language here also ties into the title of the song lol).

essentially what they've done here is draw back on the Kaf everyone knows and loves but gone hey, now it's colorful and explosive and high energy! this is new, too!! which is exactly what the song is trying to do as well! familiar themes but portrayed in a completely new light

and as one last aside, it is also worth mentioning real quick that Kaf's current outfit for the year or so, Raichou, was debuted at her concert in January where this song was also debuted, and while not specific to Gestalt, her character designer PALOW really made sure to change how Kaf looks a lot more than usual this time for her new era. Kaf has a new main look every year or so and those outfits can define entire eras for her, and usually they're darker and heavier on the blue, but Raichou is nearly devoid of any blue and has a very different feel. they even changed her hair to be cut flat, something she hasn't done before.

anyways TLDR; my takeaway from Gestalt is i'm dancing with Kaf in this new era amidst the world being on fire so hard. joy and whimsy in the face of suffering bitch‼️get ready because Kaf is going to keep making banger music in new ways the likes of which we have never seen!!! this song is literally a perfect transitional song drawing on Kaf of old and bringing her into the new. absolutely genius. Piedpiper has done it again. thank you Jazzin'park for your service

[trashlama]

Heeeeeyyyyy.... guess who's ADHD can't let them write for shit?~ This bitch✨~

I suuuuuucck guys I know! I did a poll and everything just so I would have to write some of these! I just couldn't help but get side tracked.... My brain is in the LMK and Spiderverse fandoms!!! Though I will say I basically got this Rise Donnie x Big Mama Assistant req almost done. Almost I say. We'll see if I post it in the next two days and not something else random instead.... I suck lol

Anyways— here's my 3am thoughts from the other night that I'm finish up tonight ironically at 3am again. Soooo bare with me these are basically a bunch of summaries/plots/not fully flushed out possible one shot ideas I might do. Probably could've re-read it a couple more times buuuuttt it's about to be 4 now so....

I hope you guys enjoy!

Sorry this is long↓ I don't own these memes. I've never claimed to do so. I just come across them on Pinterest when I'm on break at work and think they're funny so I like to share them. If I mistakenly put one on here that I shouldn't have please let me know! I like to respect people's wishes. And if you could add the creator names too that would be great so the same mistake isn't made twice. Sorry for the inconvenience that my sharing may cause. I hope you have a good day.

+++++++++++++++++++

Sooooo I was going through the Across the Spiderverse tag(specifically Miguel O'Hara) because you know he's hot. Priorities— Anyways— I kinda had an idea. Brahhzz what if I just took the whole Miguel kidnapping his dead wife/lover's alternate dimensional copy deal that everyone has been throwing around and introduced a new take on this tale?

We all know that the Spiderverse is very open to a wide selection of possibilities and versions of Spiderman and we're all aware that the same thing applies to other characters as well. Soooo who said that Y/n has to be a civilian/or a version of Spiderman for this idea to work?

My fellow peeps I introduce to you Earth 2099 Miguel O'Hara x  Villain/Alchemax worker/Morally Grey scientist Reader!

I can kinda see this playing out in a few ways.

1.)Villain reader investigating the strange phenomenon that occurred a couple months before hacking the multi verse and stirring up trouble. Miguel intervenes and takes what he wants.

For the last year since the bizarre phenomenon in downtown Brooklyn you've been stirring up more trouble than you typical due to collecting the materials needed for your "experiments" to figure out what that phenomenon really was and what the hell was Alchemax —your ex-employers— were up to with your research. With some finessing of the illegal kind you figure out what the corporation was up to. Before being fired you had discovered the existence of the multiverse however before you could investigate any further you were let go. Now that you have your research back you're able to Doc Octo this shit and break into the multiverse. If you could pull this off nothing was stopping ya' from fulfilling yer goal and maybe scoring some fame while you were at it. After some convoluted ass science mumbojumbo. You manage to Doc Octo this shit and break into the dimensional web that held the spider verse. Inside the alternate universe you immediately start messing up shit straight off the back as soon as you fly through the colorful portal. Miguel is quick to pick up on this anomaly and sends some Spiders out to handle the issue. Long story short— they fail. Forcing Miguel's hand to go and correct the anomaly himself. Only to find that it was you. Her. His dead wife/or dead lover. The only problem is that you're obviously not a good guy. Miguel being Miguel will try to rationalize it to himself as he demolishes your equipment/suit that you're not his Y/n, you're a villain, he can't keep you without risking a whole universe just for his selfish desires. However as he stood over your defeated helpless form. He decided. If one anomaly can exist and not destroy existence why can't another? There were ways around this. There had to be. Holding you in his grasp again the hero wasn't sure if he could let you go once again....

2.) You're an inventor/scientist that works at Alchemax/or your another rogue scientist . Either way you're looking to get into the Spider verse. Since the phenomenon from a couple months ago you've been intrigued by the strange occurrence. The news labeled it a "strange weather occurrence" however you knew that wasn't the case. If you're working at Alchemax you've known about the phenomenon since the beginning. If you're an inventor/scientist (with some grey morals) you found out after some research and trespassing. Either way your tinkering pays off thanks to the help of some stolen tech from Alchemax and an interesting glitch from the hacked tech. You eventually have yourself a fully operational universe hopping watch. And where do you end up? Right in the middle of Earth 2099. Miguel is immediately alerted of your presence. An obvious stranger to this Jetson world you find yourself quickly apprehended by a small group of spiders/or Miguel. Either way the red & blue leotard nosferatu as soon as he catches sight of you the dude is all over you. Miguel may be a man who would like to believe he is in control of himself and his rash decisions buuuuttt that's gonna be a nah. Never had the Spiderman ever expected to speak to an alternate version of his dead wife. Especially in person. Every time he's stolen a glance it was from a distance or behind one of his various monitors. He couldn't risk ruining another verse. However somehow regardless of his attempts to keep his desires at bay you've still managed to break past that last thing that was keeping you from him. Now that you're here the thirty year old wasn't sure if he could let you leave him again...

3.) What if instead of breaking into the multi verse. Alchemax employee/Morally Grey scientist Reader! is lured into the multiverse? In your home verse the Miguel who you had married was dead. Struggling with piling debt and depression you choose to bury your problems under research into the weird phenomenon that occurred in downtown Brooklyn a few months before. During this time of trial and error you figure out how to access the multiverse thanks to some misplaced Alchemax files and risky choices. The documents aid in building the device that would aid in your plan to find your ex-husband's alternate universe copy. All the while you were walking right into Miguel's clutches. Cause like you Miguel was having an equally hard time getting over his family's death. Although they are gone the widowed father couldn't help but, search for his loved ones amongst the various worlds that rest at his finger tips. He needed them. He needed you....and you needed him. Although you guys weren't from the same earth you both can replace the pain that was birthed from this tragedy and regain something more. Just be a family.... Hopefully you want to play his game because Miguel couldn't watch from the sidelines any longer.

Alrighty guys that's all for now! Sorry if they're a little all over the place. Regardless I hope you guys liked them and I hope you guys have a good week!

[wonderfulworldofmichaelford]

Is It Really That Bad?

I don’t think I’ve ever felt like the universe actively conspired against something until I witnessed the production of The Flash.

Since 1991 there have been quite a few proposals for Flash movies, but they never really got off the ground for whatever reason. Following Barry’s debut in Justice League, a movie finally was announced before multiple delays due to rewrites, in particular to cut Ray Fisher’s Cyborg from the story after he went public about the awful shit he had to deal with under Joss Whedon. Things seemed hopeless until It director Andy Muschietti came onboard, at which point production on the film finally started to go smoothly. Sure, there were rumblings about Ezra Miller having episodes on set, but that’s just typical actor nonsense, right? Surely it couldn’t get any worse!

Look, I’m here to review a movie so I’ll keep this brief: Miller committed crimes. Lots of crimes. So many, in fact, you’d think they were method acting for the role of Reverse-Flash. The thing is, despite all of this, Miller was basically given a slap on the wrist by the studio, being forbidden from doing promos and press tours (oh no! The horror!). And as if the situation wasn’t already a fucking mess, while Miller’s crime spree was ongoing WB canned the nearly-complete Batgirl movie that featured Michael Keaton and Academy Award-winning actor Brendan Fraser while simultaneously inflating The Flash’s budget to nearly $300 million with reshoots. It seems baffling to cancel a movie that was nearly done and that people were marginally interested in for the sake of a movie that people were losing interest in quickly due to its star’s erratic behavior, but remember: Leslie Grace isn’t white, while Ezra Miller is. WB is never beating those racism allegations at this rate.

With a normal movie, this is where the nonsense ends. BUT WAIT, THERE’S MORE!

This film was meant to smooth out the clusterfuck continuity of the “Snyderverse” with a soft reboot, with Henry Cavill filming a end-of-movie cameo alongside Miller, Gal Gadot, Keaton, and Supergirl’s actress Sasha Calle to establish the new direction of DC going forward. Unfortunately, the hierarchy of power at DC changed, and Gunn shot that down. While this meant the ending would probably not get people confused with regards to upcoming projects, it also meant the movie wasn’t going to really have any closure for the old universe. Affleck, Cavill, and who knows who else are just gone, and the future is just a big old question mark. At least Aquaman is safe, maybe?

Literally none of this news was very reassuring to fans. Nothing above is any good for a film’s perception to audiences under normal circumstances, but here we have all this news coming to a fanbase that genuinely did not want this fucking movie. The DCEU was already divisive when the film was announced, and Miller’s portrayal of Barry doubly so; the fact it was adapting Flashpoint was seen as lazy and uninspired, not to mention its not really a story that lets Flash stand on his own merits, making it seem more like this movie was just an excuse to reboot; it was a multiverse story in a day and age with an abundance of such stories, and it was releasing around the same time as Across the Spider-Verse to boot; and Gunn’s reboot plans meant this story was likely a narrative dead end. This movie had an uphill battle the likes of which haven’t been seen since Sisyphus.

But much like that mythological figure, the boulder came crashing right back down when the numbers came in. The movie would likely need to gross $500 million at minimum to break even after factoring in the reshoots and advertising, and it only managed half of that with a pitiful opening weekend followed by a massive 73% drop. It now sits alongside films like The Lone Ranger and Mortal Engines as one of the most expensive bombs in history, to the point where WB would have saved more money by cancelling it like they did with Batgirl. And despite glowing praise from the likes of Tom Cruise and Stephen King, it received middling reviews from mainstream critics.

Audiences haven’t been any less mixed, but considering most people weren’t particularly excited or invested in this film’s existence this is basically a miracle. Sure, there’s plenty of people out there saying this is the “worst comic book movie ever” like they do every time a new superhero movie drops, but even more people are saying they enjoyed the film… although even they tend to have some severe criticisms.

Even though I knew most of what was going to happen in the movie going in, I wasn’t really sure what to expect given everything surrounding the movie. But you know me, I’m willing to give almost any movie a chance, and bombs this big don’t happen every day, so even before it was voted on I was trying to make time to check it out. So sit down, microwave yourself a snack—

—and watch as I try and determine if The Flash is really that bad.

THE GOOD

The biggest shock of this film is that Ezra Miller is actually really good here.

Their Barry is still a bit of a goofball, but he’s clearly matured as a character since his precious appearances. They managed to make him much more charming and likable than he ever was, and this gets compounded when he interacts with the younger Barry and gets confronted with how annoying he was before. I think young Barry could have come off as really insufferable, but the fact he annoys everyone around him and also ends up maturing makes him a lot more endearing.

Miller really kills it with the emotional moments, particularly the ending encounter with Barry’s mom and the scene where old Barry snaps at young Barry. The film is really carried by the dramatic, emotional moments far more than any of the superheroics, and Miller manages to sell a lot of it very well. It was to the point where I started thinking, “I really wouldn’t mind if they stick around.” Then a scene where Barry says the Justice League has no real psychiatric help or where his younger self ends up repeatedly exposing himself in public by accident happens, and then I remembered, “Oh yeah, aren’t they a mentally unwell criminal?”

Unsurprisingly, Michael Keaton absolutely kills it in his role as Batman, but much more shockingly is that Ben Affleck's brief return as Bruce is pretty great as well. I always thought Affleck, much like Henry Cavill, was desperately trying to give a great performance while weighed down by bad writing; here, he gets an actual poignant scene where he talks to Barry about how dwelling on tragedies isn't the way to do things, and you should try and move forward instead. It shows he really could have been great if given better material to work with.

Okay, enough being nice to Affleck, I wanna talk about Keaton again. As much as the marketing hyped him up and as much as he is obviously the most blatant fanservice possible, it's still so cool to see him in the suit again. I am not immune to nostalgia pandering, and as corny as it could have been from anyone else, the zoom into his face when he says The Line really is a highlight of the movie. Keaton has a great deal of charisma, and while there are issues with Batman they aren't his fault at all. Most impressively, he doesn't steal the show away from Miller like I thought he would; he enhances the scenes he's in without stealing the spotlight completely from their performance. I feel like this is a problem in a lot of movies like this, where the lead gets overshadowed by a hyped up character, but somehow The Flash of all things managed to avoid this.

And as bad as the cameos could get, this movie gave two of the greatest cameos ever put to film with the return of the GOAT George Clooney Batman and, best of all, Nicolas Cage Superman from the unmade Superman Lives, fighting a giant spider to the death just as God intended. I am not immune to the charms of Nicolas Cage.

Overall, this movie presents us with a solid story, plenty of fun moments, great character dynamics, and more... for the first two acts, anyway.

THE BAD

Once this movie hits the third act, it basically just loses any and all focus and becomes a big dumb video game-esque battle against Zod and his forces in a bland desert landscape. While both Barrys admittedly get some pretty cool moments sprinkled in and Keaton’s Batman’s second death is actually a well done emotional moment, Supergirl ends up being completely wasted, with her sole role being to angrily scream and then die repeatedly.

This actually highlights the problem with Kara in this movie: She’s basically nothing but a plot device and has zero personality, and a good 80% of her dialogue is just angry screaming. As hot as Sasha Calle is and how much she obviously wants to make Kara compelling, she is given so little to work with that her efforts end up being fruitless. She does nothing of consequence after helping Barry get his powers back, and could be replaced or written out of the story and it would still make perfect sense.

Zod’s inclusion is pretty baffling as well, especially since they chose to water down one of the only good things from Man of Steel into a boring, generic doomsday villain. You can really feel that poor Michael Shannon would rather be doing anything else, and his bored performance just highlights how poorly implemented Zod is in the plot. Like, the Fladh has some of the best and most colorful DC villains in his rogues gallery, one’s that are often overlooked because Batman’s villains sell more toys. Why not highlight some of them instead of taking a Superman villain and stripping him of all personality to the point the actor clearly has no passion for the role? Cutting Zod would make cutting Supergirl even easier, and then two of the biggest problems with the movie are gone!

The third act does manage to mostly rerail itself once it goes back to Barry trying to unfuck the timeline, with only a disgustingly egregious bit of fanservice that I’ll discuss in the next section hampering it. But at the end, despite the incredibly based George Clooney cameo, there’s just so many unresolved and unanswered questions, with the biggest one being who killed Barry’s mom? Considering her death is what kickstarted the whole plot, you’d think this might come up, but it never does. A lot of other things come up and get dropped too, like whatever was going on with Batman in the opening, but maybe I’m just crazy for wanting elements introduced in a plot to have significance beyond just being there to be cool.

Even beyond that, there’s the fact that Supergirl and Keaton!Batman’s final fates are never really resolved, something that apparently wasn’t a problem in early versions of the film since they showed up alive in the final scene. As much as I loved seeing Clooney, I think trading him for getting some closure for Keaton and Calle would have been more satisfying.

Everyone harps on how bad the CGI is—and it absolutely is, don’t get me wrong—but for the most part I found it endearingly bad. Like the opening with the CGI babies? That’s too goofy for me to hate. But once the movie revolves into bland grey and black CGI bad guys and creepy deepfake celebrity cameos, I stop being quite so forgiving.

Oh, and on the subject of cameos, I’m not sure I’ve ever seen one as pointless and unfunny as Gal Gadot’s Wonder Woman showing up out of nowhere (complete with theme music) to make Bruce and Barry look like dumb assholes. Imagine thinking this was a good idea.

THE UGLY

The biggest point of contention surrounding this movie is the CGI necromancy used in the aforementioned cameo clusterfuck from the climax, which gives us George Reeve, Christopher Reeves, and Adam West posthumously reprising their DC roles in non-speaking appearances (there’s archived audio from West, but his cameo isn't really focused on to the point you can barely tell it's him) where they just stand there before the camera swoops around like in that Saul Goodman gif.

I think this is one of the very few times where I actually think the outrage is mostly justified. To be clear, I’m not getting mad on behalf of dead celebrities I never knew, and as long as the filmmakers went through the proper channels and the estates of these stars were properly compensated, I don’t have any legal objections. All of my distaste is coming from a subjective, moral standpoint.

I have never liked this CGI necromancy ever since Rogue One popularized it. I find it really gross and distasteful, and in most cases I think finding a lookalike actor would be preferable than playing Weekend at Bernie’s with a computer generated facsimile of a dead person. In The Flash, I understand having lookalikes would diminish the wow factor of the crossover, but there was an extremely easy workaround to this: Have cameos from all the living DC stars.

Was Brandon Routh not available to put on the Superman tights? Would it have been so bad to let Grant Gustin pop in for a cameo? They acknowledge Helen Slater, so why not Melissa Benoist? Hell, if you want to reference bad, campy movies, have Shaq show up as Steel or Josh Brolin pop in as Jonah Hex! Or even Ryan Reynolds, I’d bet he’d be down to return if you gave him a real suit this time!

Like there’s just no excuse for ghoulishly parading around dead guys when there’s so many alive guys you could use instead. People can complain all they want about the fanservice and cameos in the past few Spider-Man films, but at least they only had returning characters played by living actors. And when this movie already has the niche, out-there Nic Cage Superman cameo, proving they were down to do things as out there and inoffensively creative as reference unmade movies, it’s really just inexcusable. It doesn’t ruin the movie for me, but it makes me lose a bit of respect for the people who okayed this over less offensive cameo ideas.

IS IT REALLY THAT BAD?

To my surprise, this film actually turned out to be pretty good. Not “great,” not “the best superhero movie ever,” but genuinely mostly good and enjoyable.

My opinion is that the movie is good in spite of itself. The third act is truly a hot mess, the stupid desert battle against Zod is awful and boring, Supergirl is depressingly pointless, so many plot points are just dropped or otherwise forgotten, and the CGI necromancy is nothing short of ghoulish. But the rest of the movie is truly a lot of fun. Barry and his younger self have a fun dynamic, Keaton really manages to take what little he’s given and show that he’s still got it as Batman, the Clooney and Cage cameos were delightful, and most importantly the emotional moments are actually effective.

I think with a bit more polish this film could have actually lived up to the hype around it. There is a great movie in here being suffocated by fanservice and CGI but still managing to get a few gasps of air regardless. I think if they’d kept the conflict more grounded or made Reverse-Flash the primary antagonist, things might have turned out better.

I think its score is pretty fair. My friend @huyh172 described this as “the worst good DC movie,” and it’s an assessment I fully agree with. It’s not as good as Aquaman, Wonder Woman, The Suicide Squad, the Snyder Cut, or Shazam!, and it’s definitely not as bad as stuff like Wonder Woman 1984 or Josstice League. It’s also a bit too enjoyable to be mid. It’s just a really solid movie held back from true greatness by some damning flaws… and really, that makes it the perfect capstone to the "Snyderverse," a cinematic universe that had some solid movies but was held back from greatness by incredibly bad ones.

[bledbetrayl]

since i've decided i'm going to be redoing my carrd and revamping verses a bit .. and figured to use this as a good time to get some mains set up for this blog !! so consider this a mains call !! mutuals only , and all i ask is we've had some ic &&. ooc interactions. while there is no need to reciprocate , it would be nice and appreciated ! <3 hit the little likey like , pls

being a main would include :

priority when it comes to replies

getting tagged in random starters

constantly in your ask box with all the memes

being tagged in dynamic / muse related things

having your very own special dynamics tag

me in your ims / discord constantly screaming about our muses ( I'm lovely i promise i promise )

[glacialswordsman-a]

" in another life, i would have really liked just doing laundry and taxes with you. " ( you can choose the verse )

| prompt

To my beloved Ajax,

I’m sorry.

By the time you read this, I will be no more. Ever since I joined the Fatui, I knew this would have more than likely been the outcome of what I had been working for. For many years, ever since I had been found by Pantalone, I had a singular goal in mind:

To destroy the Fatui and its Delusion Factories.

I had tried to think of other ways to go about this goal, to see if I could potentially find a method without having to sacrifice myself, but there was nothing that I could have figured out. Perhaps if I told you my plans after Fontaine, after our confessions, we could have thought of something together, but I couldn’t do that to you. How could I possibly pull you into my own mess and ask you to help me destroy the livelihood of all you had known?

No, this was my burden to bear. Alone.

I’ve never told you what happened—the how and why Pantalone found me.

That night was my brother, Diluc Ragnivindr’s, 18th birthday. We He had lost everything that night.

A caravan that Diluc and our father, Crepus, were escorting was attacked by a foul beast named Ursa the Drake, and our father fought valiantly to protect everyone. Especially Diluc. In order to protect them, he relied on the power of a pyro Delusion, and it had backfired on him from the amount of power he exerted while using it. I wasn’t there.

In fact, I was too late when I got to them, and watched as my brother granted our father a swift death to put him out of his pain and misery. Had he not, Crepus would have suffered until his very last breath.

I’ll never forget my own reaction to it. Instead of running to console my brother and grieve with him, I stood back, simply watched…

And smirked.

I was morbidly fascinated by the fact that even the man who had graciously taken me into his home would ever rely on such a terrible power. Not only that, but I also felt a sense of liberation, and when I realized my initial reactions, pure and unadulterated guilt and shame crashed down against my shoulders.

Diluc had gone off to report this to the Ordo Favonius of Mondstadt, which we had both proudly been a part of. Yet, that same day, he quit and never looked back. Meanwhile, I helped clean up the mess while I stewed in my thoughts and realized I needed to come clean to my brother, and now to you.

That evening, I admitted to Diluc that I was planted in Mondstadt as a child so I could serve my nation’s purpose. My nation of Khaenri’ah. My father had left me purposefully at the Dawn Winery so I could learn as much as I could about them and the nation of Freedom.

He said I was their only hope.

But all I could think of at that point was how I had betrayed my family. The family that had lovingly taken me in and provided me with warmth, care, and happiness. From the very first moment they accepted me, my life was nothing but an absolute lie.

Understandably, Diluc wasn’t happy, and I had anticipated his anger. He had just lost his father, and now his own brother was confessing his sins on the same night. Idiotic, wasn’t it? I wasn’t thinking clearly, but if I hadn’t told Diluc as soon as possible, the guilt would have consumed me whole.

I just…didn’t think I would have nearly lost my life for it. I would have deserved it, and even as I write this, I do not blame him for his reactions. They were understandable, even if I could have been killed. Yet the Tsaritsa blessed me with a Vision and saved me from Diluc’s fiery wrath. The moment that whitish-blue light shone and revealed the state of my grievous wounds, Diluc froze.

I took that opportunity to run away, run as far and as fast as I could to anywhere but there. The Dawn Winery and Mondstadt were no longer my home.

Instead, I headed towards Liyue, where I had nearly succumbed to my wounds—yet as luck would have it, Pantalone found me in the nick of time.

I wasn’t going to squander this opportunity. This was the chance I needed to repay the Ragnivindrs, and to repent for my Sins.

However, I didn’t factor in the possibility of how I would come to find the Fatui as another home. I thought it was going to be easy and that I wouldn’t grow attached, but oh, how wrong I was. I had grown close to Rosalyne and thought of her as my mother, I came to think of the Regrator as my brother, and the Jester as some weird uncle.

Most of all, though, I fell in love with you, Tartaglia. My dearest Ajax.

Thus came the realization that there was no way out for me. I was stuck again, all out of my own doing. There was no way I would ever confess this to anyone, no less the Tsaritsa. I knew my life would be forfeit if I had, so either way, I was a dead man walking. So, if I’m to die, then I’d rather it be out of my own choice.

Every time we visited the Delusion manufacturers, it was under the guise of quality check-ups and making sure everything ran smoothly, but in reality, I was discreetly planting bombs. I’m surprised I managed to do so without getting caught. There were some close calls, admittedly, so it’s truly a miracle that I’ve gotten as far as I have now. All that’s left is for me to destroy the root of what made everything go wrong, and what better way than to pay homage to my father, the late Master Crepus?

I’ve always found it ironic how I, too, ended up with a pyro Delusion. I suppose the only difference is that I’m actively choosing to kill myself with it.

… I wish I could see my big brother one last time. Would he have forgiven me for everything, including this? I cannot help but wonder.

There would be a large blank space in the middle of the writing, before it eventually picked back up again. Some of the words became a little splotchy from the ink spreading due to what appeared to be little droplets.

Had Kaeya spilled something…or were those tears?

I know what I have done is unforgivable. The lies, the façades, the masks.

The death of probably hundreds that were working in the factories at the time of retribution.

But please know this, Ajax… The one thing I have always been honest about were my feelings for you. You have brought light and warmth into my life, and I’m sorry for how greedy I have been in trying to cling to it. I shouldn’t have accepted your feelings, I shouldn’t have held you, I shouldn’t have kissed you—maybe then, you’d hate me less for this.

Maybe then, you’d eventually come to forget about me.

I suppose the only saving grace that comes from all of this is me being able to remember our time together, being able to think of your smile one last time as my story ends in an explosive grand finale. Ever selfish until the end, I know.

On one hand, I have a sense of peace in knowing what’s to come, as I finally get to decide my own fate. But on the other hand, I still wish there had been another way.

…

In another life, I would have really liked just doing laundry and taxes with you.

I love you.

Forever yours,

“Pavlín” Brighella, the Twelfth Harbinger, one half of the Innamorati.

Kaeya Alberich.

[awgeezitsthetoiletnator]

your mind !!!!!!!! literally it's that its the desperate plea of them both being like this meant something to us both??? it didn't just irrevocably change my world view alone right? and now i've got to pretend to be normal about it because we are forever linked in the same circle like!?!?!?!

this is why i feel so unnormal about them both- Tracker being a crutch for Kristen when they were dating because her whole life has been her living a lie. She's moving in because she can't be with her parents but I'm sure she wonders if it's just because they are girlfriends. I wonder how Kristen feels about living in Mordred and Jawbone being one of her guardians (not even mentioning how she struggles playing like a child role- being that shield for her brothers and how we often see her square up to Sandra Lynn) now they aren't together, like does she feels out of place there? I also think that feeling of being out of place was echoed in the recent episode of oh Kristen's address hasn't been changed either- like none of the parental figures in Mordred did that for her- especially Jawbone who works at the school and would have know that was kinda important.

Similarly I think Kristen provided that role on Sophmore year (even being in a messy arc) to Tracker of being that support and the one who does listen to her. Like I wonder how Tracker felt when Adaine & then Fig joined the household- because she's no longer getting priority attention from Jawbone since he's so busy. Yes she's very independent but that's because she's had to be. Even looking after Jawbone before he got better- like they did live together she's probably seen the ins and outs of all his business. The way I see her definitely has a heavy influence from you recommending scream by beach bunny for Tracker because wow- just incredible no notes. Her just moving on to looking after Kristen- like to make herself feel useful and needed- like when she gets brought along for spring break she's like oh I thought you were going to abandon me. Like. Head in hands. My poor girl. (Tracker being an npc is so hard i need all her lore now brennan)

I think it's also why it's so like explosive with the withholding stuff about Jawbone because her and Kristen have become this codependent team because there is so much going on its like oh your my person right now and you still did this, you know all these things and yet my feelings weren't considered & were pushed aside.

Like even after this happens- Kristen then starts unravelling Tracker's religion through finding Cassandra. Which tears them apart. They are both so influential in each other's lives its so crazy.

Apologies for the ramble as this might all be so incoherent but i just have so many thoughts on them and their dynamics- but I think it's like the tragedy aspect of it all that is so aligned with this music. Like the greater the risk the higher the reward and all that- they are built up to be so life changing that the fall consistently follows them. Like we haven't spoke in months but I'm still happy that your religious uprising is going well- even in my commune with my own Goddess you still linger there too. (Not even getting into the Goddess being sisters it's just so much)

Like the Bang the Doldrums line of better off as lovers and not the other way around vs Kristen trying to be normal about calling them friends to her cleric teacher. Just rattling them in my brain for real. I also like Bros by Wolf Alice for them because it's such energy of like If i did come back would you still be there? I know it's selfish of me to ask but would you do it anyway. And definitely less emo but Renegade by Big Red Machine gives them so much. like specifically the post chorus and second verse. again sorry for the ramble but these new episodes are just making me think so intensely about them :P

please never ever apologize for sending such thoughtful asks to my inbox!! i’m sorry it took me so long to reply, but you gave me so much for think about…

- you’re so right about how layered and complicated kristen’s feelings on living at mordred must be now. they were probably a lot easier to overlook when she and tracker were together. the current status shift of “i’m living with my partner” to “i’m crashing with my friends” is wild to me. while i think sandra lynn and jawbone do their best to be good parents for the teens living in their house, there’s just so many of them that it’s probably be easier to parent the ones that usually lean on them for help (adaine) or show clear red flags (fig). (i know this is most likely because beardsley was the one who started the tremors bit during the last episode, but the way jawbone leapt up to protect adaine and fig but not kristen gave me pause. not because jawbone (or brennan for that matter) did anything wrong, but it made me wonder how many little things like that must happen every day in front of kristen and how she might feel about it). given kristen’s reluctance to their parenting and tracker’s personal, recent experience with leaving the church of sol, tracker probably seemed like the best person equipped to support kristen, even if it put her in a weird, uncomfortable corner where she is constantly caring for the person who is supposed to be her main carer as well - although it’s never as reciprocal as it should be. tracker leans heavily on her own experience to try and help kristen, which is why she works so hard to support kristen in establishing her church. she wants kristen to experience the deep, primal connection to YES!? that she experiences with galicaea, but it’s not the necessarily the same situation as kristen is the sole cleric responsible for her gods. due to how much is resting only on her shoulders, kristen’s issues always seem to eclipse tracker’s, but that doesn’t make it fair. tracker tries to help in the way she knows how and it’s still not enough. i’m so excited to learn more about why tracker wants to talk to kristen in the present day. in part, it’s probably because at some point they will be living in the same house again and they should be on good terms. but i also wonder if tracker sees the same pattern with kristen’s gods that cassandra does, and wants to offer kristen an out of her current situation by asking her to join the wolfsong revival. i don’t think there’s any universe out there where kristen would have ever chosen galicaea over cassandra when that path was first offered to her in sophomore year, but tracker could argue that lots of things have changed since that initial offer. in joining her, kristen would be one of many clerics and share the burden of responsibility for keeping a god alive. and maybe that’s a way they can actually be together again. 👀

- kristen’s aversion to being parented is so fascinating to me that it needs to be its own list item. it feels so relatable as an experience of an eldest daughter who’s been parentified for longer than she can remember. because i don’t even think it’s an aversion to being parented really - i think she’s expecting to be treated as a child in a way that’s familiar to her. when you combine kristen’s eldest daughter position with her status as the golden child due to her connection to helio, it’s not a far reach to say that the applebees treated kristen closer to another adult in the family than a child when she lived at home. i’m guessing she was privy to way more information and it was her job to shield and distract her brothers from it or filter it in a way that her parents approved. this is one of the reasons why i think she struggled so much while questioning her faith - her parents had always communicated with her in a straight and simple fashion and this suddenly shifted to unsatisfactory, emotional answers to her questions. (granted, i don’t think any answers the applebees would have given would be satisfactory based on how stuck they are in their worldview, but they jumped really quickly into just shutting kristen down instead of actually hearing her out) i think she’s seeking out that kind of straightforward parent-child relationship she used to have with her parents when she approaches sandra lynn after the tryst with garthy, like “tell me what’s going on and we’ll find the best way to share this with the rest of the kids.” i know that moment is followed by a “classic ally chaos moment” of kristen asking for whiskey, but i wonder if there’s a way to recontextualize it here. maybe she sees herself falling into an old pattern. maybe she can’t resist the temptation of actually being treated like a child instead of a pseudo-adult. maybe she’s worried that whatever answer sandra lynn could give her isn’t worth her positioning herself like this. no one wants sandra lynn and kristen to bond this season more than me i’m awake at night wishing as hard as i can believe me when i say this but i do think that she’s still trying to be a shield to the best of her ability from afar. i think the underlying question behind kristen’s decisions now when it comes to her brothers is “how do i turn the selfish action of leaving them behind into the best decision for everyone in the end without compromising my own autonomy or putting them in a situation where they get hurt?” she stays away from the applebees house so that her brothers don’t have to deal with the tension she would inevitably bring with her. she leaves them gold but without a note so her parents can’t interrogate them about their contact with her. and even in the last episode - choosing to simply confuse her parents and keep her cool instead of actively arguing with them is interestingly as calculated as it is chaotic because she probably comes off as less of a threat to bucky’s devotion to helio and more as a neutral eccentric. for now, it’s easier on everyone in that house if she is cast as someone whose head isn’t screwed on straight rather than a complete villain.

- i too would love to know more about tracker. all of your questions about how she might have felt when jawbone’s attention shifted from her to adaine and fig are right on the money. add all the codependency with kristen to the mix, it makes me wonder if tracker feels like she missed out on having deeper, possibly sisterly friendships with adaine and fig. i think trackerbees being so joined at the hip resulted in her holding fig and adaine at arm’s length as “kristen’s friends” as opposed to new family members. it’s telling that she only chose to leave mordred once she was certain that she could trust that jawbone would be safe with the people surrounding him AND that they were taking care of him as much as he was taking care of them. i don’t think she was waiting for something to go wrong per say, but the fact is that something DID go wrong and her instinct to hang around was justified. she watches sandra lynn and jawbone reconcile and that point in time happens to coincide with her decision to start the wolfsong revival and then she’s finally ready to leave with ragh at her side - the only other teen she allowed herself to get close to probably by accident bc they spent a good deal of time together when the PCs were off on bad kids only mini-missions during spring break. (also how are they going to share ragh. i’m hoping it’s all cordial in the end but how do you share a person who was a bodyguard / confidant for one of you but also was the cofounder of the lgbtq+ student union / honorary party member for the other for much longer than that. how do you do that) i’m so curious about her place in the birth order, but given that we’ve never heard about any siblings, i’m inclined to believe she’s an only child and it seems to fit. i’m an eldest daughter with a couple of only children as best friends and the dynamic of how straightforward tracker is in her actions while kristen is constantly playing 4D chess in her head to figure out the best solution for everyone rings very true for me. we know that her parents kicked her out after she was bitten, but she didn’t stray super far - not even outside the same pantheon of gods. granted, I think the lycanthropy made galicaea a natural fit for her, but i don’t think the journey to get there took as long as kristen’s journey to YES!? two sides of the same coin and all that

- ANYWAYS. the music of it all. i completely agree with your assessment of the tragedy and risk that emo music usually lends itself to, but i also like your other recs here! i was racking my brain trying to think of where i’d heard bros before - it was featured in the life is strange prequel (that also happens to center around another tragic sapphic couple). i absolutely love renegade for them and it made me think of “the 1” - another swift / dessner collab that feels very of the moment for them. i think about them a lot when i’m listening to adult mom. most songs i feel apply directly to one or the other, but i feel like “checking up” from their most recent album feels very attuned to their relationship right before they broke up when tracker was first on the road.

for anyone who has made it this far down, thank you for coming for my ted talk! i guess i have a lot more thoughts about these two than i knew. thank you again @sabrirene for sending this in!

[sofasoap]

Thank you for everything.

Pairing: König x  f!Reader ( OC aka "Mini" MacTavish ) + Simon " Ghost" Riley + John " Soap " Mactavish

Summary: Time for Mini to introduce her new boyfriend to the family. Breaking Ghost's heart a little bit. and new found family for him.

Warning: M To E rated. mention of sexy time! Safe sex people! swearing, fluff? angsty in places? any geography and facts are made up a bit regarding to Scotland etc. For fictional purposes.

A/N : Character of Mini MacTavish is from @saltofmercury fic “ “The Favorite MacTavish” ” which she graciously let me borrow and write bit more expanded universe. Please go read her wonderful story to get bit of background.

 “masterlist” for more stories to this Mini MacTavish expanded verse.

Note: I have FINALLY found my beautiful König

By the amazing artist @egg-ball. This is my perfect image of König. * cry *

Also this is my drool worthy Ghost “Simon/Ghost” - Credit to : @shkretart

" What you doing here. "

" What are YOU doing here, this is my parent's house of course I am here!"

" Your mum invited me to come."

" Since when are you good friend with my Ma? "

" Since a while ago."

Soap sighed. Don't think he is going to get anymore information out from Ghost's mouth, he let him in.

" Hi Simon! welcome welcome. " Mrs MacTavish rushed up to him as he walks through the front door of their estate.

".. Hello Mrs MacTavish."

" Johnny, be a nice boy and show Simon the guest bedroom."

Rolling his eyes, " Come on. this way. " Soap reluctantly lead Ghost towards the bedroom quarter of his parent's house.

MacTavish farm has been around for few centuries, famous for quality crops and recently as one of the big investors for up and coming Speyside Whisky. Although Ghost is more of a bourbon whiskey guy, but he wouldn't say no to a good quality alcohol.

"Where is Mini."

" She's gone to the airport and picking her boyfriend up. Should be back within an hour or so."

" .. Do you know who this guy is." Ghost ask as he put down his duff bag in the corner of the room.

"No idea. But he better be decent." Soap puffed.

Soap seen you smiling like a dork few times while texting, when he ask you about it you always wave him off and tell him to mind his own business. Makes him even more suspicious that you are trying to hide something from him.

"Ma! Da! I'm home!' Soap and Simon can hear from the back of the house as you yell. Hearing another muffled male voice greeting, Soap and Ghost look at each other, and walk back towards the front door.

A very tall figure was awkwardly bending down giving Mrs MacTavish hug and turn to MacTavish senior a handshake, both Ghost and Soap froze as they suddenly recognise who the mysterious man was.

König.

Chewing your lip, you typed and deleted and typed and deleted, before you decided to press sent.

--- Hello my teddy bear, are you free in April?

Few minutes later, you her a DING as the message sent through

-- I should be free, unless we get deployed again, is there something you need, Liebling?

-- I told my Ma and Da about you.. and they would love to meet you in person, they are inviting you to spend Easter this year at the family farm up in Scotland.

An hour. No reply from him. You heart dropped. Have you pushed a bit too far?

--- ONLY if you are comfortable with it! I can decline if you are not up to it or if you are planning something with your family!

You quickly typed up.

... Still nothing.

After the Piccadilly Circus incident, you and König got even closer. He came and visited you in the hospital day after the incident. Bringing you flowers and some Kaiserschmarrn.

" Wow, König, where did you get this from?"

" I.. I made it."

"... YOU made it?" This man really surprises you, he can carve like a professional, and now he can bake like a pro? What can't this man do????

" I rang my Mama last night and ask for recipe.. I borrow the kitchen at the Emergency centre to make it..." he replied shyly.

Trying to imaging a big tall Austrian man baking in a tiny little kitchen makes you giggle. You took a bite of the pancake and moaned. It is GOOD. Probably one of the best sweet you ever tasted in your life.

"I hope it's to your taste.." König wrangle his hand nervously.

" OH GOSH You better make this everyday.. It's SO DELICIOUS."

" I .. I can make you other stuffs too."

" Do you plan to open a dessert shop after your life in military König? If you do, I will be your most loyal customer."

König look down on the floor, twiddling his thumb, said nothing.

Due to his work commitment, you two only get to see each other when he is in London. But both of you communicate as much as possible through text, and in some occasions through phone or video calls.

It's a slow courtship. But you don't mind. Good things takes time, you remind yourself.

You can really see him making a real effort to slowly slip out from his comfort zone. Bringing you little gifts each time, little carving he made himself, desserts he made, little hand crafts his Mama and his Oma made especially for you.

You also can't resist teasing your boyfriend from time to time.

“ And MAYBE you can show me later how good you are at… RAMMING into people. My big teddy bear.”

" You know, I miss my big teddy bear in winter, no one to keep me warm in bed."

Everytime you tease him with these hidden innuendos, you swear you can see the imaginary steams coming out from his ears.

He is always hesitant to hold your hand, those big callous hand. Wrap around yours, making you feel safe.

First time he initiated a hug was when you two were walking down the street, in freezing cold weather, he saw you shivering. Silently he open his trench coat, look at you asking for permission, and proceed to pull you in and wrap you up. He is like a human furnace. You inhale. Smell of his cologne mixed with gunpowder. This is home.

You realise you are slowly falling in love with this big , gentle man.

First time you saw his face, and first kiss, without the mask, was when you two * FINALLY* spend a night together. ( The Holy trinity, you dubbed it later on when you recall the event to Emma. )

Emma was away visiting her family for her long overdue holiday.

" GO ON Mini, invite him to stay over, MAKE A MOVE, push that boy into bed!" She urged you after she told you about her holiday plan. " You can make a much as noise as you want with him and I won't be here to yell at you!"

You smack your good friend on the arm, " EMMA!!!"

" What, I am telling the truth, besides, ' she pointed at you ' how long you guys been going out for? over a year. yet you still haven't kiss him properly, let alone seeing his face in full."

You know she's right, at same time you don't want to push him too much. As if by chance, König rang you the next day informing you he is coming over for the long weekend.

"Have you book your accommodation yet? If not... Um. Emma is away at her family for the week.. Um. Do you want to... stay over at my place?"

You heard him choking, coughing and someone else in the background asking him if he is OK.

" I .. I ... I..."

" Yes or no König."

"... Yes."

" Right! that's sorted. I'll see you then!"

You feel like a teenager, all giddy and nervous. For fucks sake, you are an adult! it's normal to ask your boyfriend to stay over. You convince yourself.

He showed up at your doorsteps few weeks later, and you two go on your usual routine. Out for a nice walk, go out to local bistro and have a good meal, window shopping.

Slowly you two stroll home. You two took turn taking shower. You brew some nice herbal tea and sat in front of the TV, winding down.

You lean over and put your head on his shoulder. You feel him lifting up his arm, starting to stroke your hair, gently.

you shuffle into his space bit more. He stiffens. Thinking you made him uncomfortable, you pulled away slightly. He immediately pulled you back in.

You look up at him, searching for something in his eyes. Lifting one hand up, silently seeking for permission, his eyes drop down and look back up at you, you slowly pull his black mask off.

And there he is.

You smiled, " There's my handsome teddy bear." You whispered. With tears in your eyes, you trying to take his features in. The scar across his nose, across his cheek. the little imperfections. Tracing his features with both of your hand, König close his eyes and sighed.

Feeling bold, you swung leg across, straddling him. Tilting your face up towards him, he look down with dark hooded eyes, and close the final gap. Shy and tentative at first, it soon become heated.

You moan into his mouth as grabbed your backside, pulling you closer to him. You can feel his arousal. Grinding against his lap, you heard him taking in a sharp breath, and broke the kiss.

" ... Are you sure."

You nodded your head, totally out of breath to reply.

As if a switch has been flipped, he lift you up, like you weigh nothing, you hook your other leg across his hip, he marched towards the bedroom.

Despite both of you are inexperienced ( Hell, you never went past second base with the boys you were seeing in the past thanks to Soap, your cockblocking brother!), everything seems to progress naturally. He certainly make up for it .. somewhere else. and oh BOY. It was GOOD. You know you going to be very sore the next day.

He was an excellent lover. Gentle after care. He turned back into the shy König after the deed was done. " Did I hurt you Liebling? I am sorry if I was too rough... OH der Scheiß, YOU ARE BLEEDING!" He quickly jumped off the bed. You pull his arm to stop him.

" Hey love, calm down. It's normal.... after um.. the.. first time.."

" Still... I hurt you.. " He shook his head. He left the room, and came back few minutes later with warm towel, gently wipe you down.

Afterwards, he pull you into his chest, him being the big spoon, the warmth enveloped you as he whispered into your ears.

"Ich liebe dich"

Back to the present. You were still waiting for his reply two days later, when you begin to think its a very bad idea. One big step forward, rolling back down to the bottom of the hill, you think to yourself.

You finally got a reply after a week. He apologising but didn't give a reason for his late reply, and ask you for the details. You let out a big sigh and proceed to give him the dates and travel details.

Quiet chit chat as everyone sit around the dining table. Your Ma and Pa politely asking him question about his family and how he comes to know Ghost and Soap.

Ghost and Soap just stares at König as he answer the questions quitely, with you smiling at him.

" What is your intention with my sister König." Soap asked all of sudden.

You shot Johnny a look, Jesus fucken hell, does he have to make the atmosphere so awkward?

König gave your hand slight squeeze underneath the table.

" I will not hurt her. I love her very much. In fact, I am here today to ask for permission for marriage in the future."

Your look at your boyfriend with disbelieve, Is this the socially anxious König that you know? And what is this about marriage? Ah?

Soap was about to stand but Ghost press him down by the shoulder, shaking his head.

Everything was slightly blur after that. You vaguely remember your Ma and Pa gave both you and König a hug, welcome him into the family, even Johnny and Simon shook his hand , begrudgingly.

You suddenly thought, why is Simon here anyway?????

" I am sorry Liebling.. I should have ask you first.. " König apologised profusely after everyone retired for the night. You smiled at him and pat his chest, comfort him,

" It's ok.. took me out by surprise... " jabbing him a little, " I expect you to make up for it later." You chuckled. He grabbed your hand and nodded.

3am, you toss and turned, with König lightly snoring away beside you. You decided to go into kitchen to get a glass of water.

You jumped slightly when you saw a figure standing by the window.

" SHIT Simon... you really gave me a fright."

" sorry. "

Walking over to the fridge you pour yourself a glass of cold water, looking at Simon, he shook his head as you silently ask him if he want some water too.

Taping on the glass, you decided to ask.

" Why are you here anyway Simon? Not that we don't want you here.. you are welcome any time.. "

" Your Mum invited me.'

" Since when are you good friend with my Ma... "

" Since a while ago."

You rolled your eyes. You took another sip of water. Simon turned towards you, looking at you. You can see there's sadness in his eyes.

Putting the glass down. You walk over to him, pull him into a tight hug. Burying your head in his chest, you mumbled.

" I am sorry Simon.'

Ghost's heart ached You knew. That little bit of feeling that he is trying to hide away deep down, and it shattered when he saw you looking at König lovingly during dinner. The way you smiled at him, the way he take care of you. He knows he had no chance. You only love him as a big brother.

".. You are like a brother to me and Johnny.This will always be your home. I want us to stay as friend. I am so sorry."

He wrap his arm around you. Tight. Gave you a light kiss on the top of your head.

"You have nothing to apologise for." He murmured.

" I know... but.. "

" It's ok. I'll get over it." he sighed.

" Johnny can take you out and introduce you to some ladies?" You suggested timidly.

" I seriously wouldn't trust him."

You laughed.

Giving you a pat on the head, he left your embrace.

" I am happy for you Mini... I truly am."

" OH! I know this lady doctor at work.. She use to be in the military .. she's from New Zealand... "

" No sis... Don't trust YOU either to set me up with anyone." Ghost huffed.

You giggled as he called you sis. It will take time. but that's a start.

"My Ma and Pa really loves you as an adopted son you know.. maybe they will introduce my cousins to you."

" Mini MacTavish. Please no."

Poor Ghost got his heart broken. it's ok. he will have someone in near future that suits him. I just want to give him a family he deserves.

[scarabaebutch]

Prompting Night: Jay Garrick deciding to have some quality bonding time with Bart, in whatever form that takes

A/N: this is the YJA-verse. Also technically within an YJA-preboot fusion AU I've been working on for a while but the details are unneeded since this is part of the very beginning of it. This is Jay's POV. I adore the Flashfam and have a particular soft spot for the Golden Agers.

Context: this is morning after the end of s2

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7:06AM July 05, 2016

On his second cup of chamomile, Jay looks through Snapper Carr’s last reports and assessments on Bart’s academic skills again. Joan had already left early this morning for her microbiology lecture. Now it was just him and a still sleeping-in Bart in the house. That was a first he was pleased to see; the future-boy had a habit of being up as early as him, an insomniac old man who didn’t have many good dreams to look forward to.

Weak in essay writing and reading analysis, but strong in math, Mr. Carr’s notes began. Demonstrates excellent understanding of algebraic and geometric concepts. Has trouble showing his work and keeping on task, but that may be due to the subject material. Has not indicated extent of previous experience in the public school system. Will need additional guidance on school expectations prior to enrollment. Addendum: very neat cursive! Tell him to keep up the good handwriting. Did you teach him the Palmer method? 

Jay frowns. He'll need to submit these to Keystone North by next Friday. Bart will start eighth grade in the coming fall. The thought of Bart’s shocking youth in light of recent events makes Jay’s stomach clench. Jay had nearly pulled Bart off the Team after Wally’s death. Barry was hardly in a state to argue back. The thought of Bart being in the same danger—how did he ever tolerate that for Wally, Jay wonders. Then he remembers--the need for an outlet, for others like himself, for morality and self-discipline. Work from a young age was good for character and strengthening. Wally had blossomed on the Team, at least for a little while. Then college came and there was a…worrying decline. Frankly, leaving behind the suit was good for Wally’s mental state, whether or not he would ever return to the life. 

But even Wally, Jay thinks angrily, was not exposed to such twisting violence like Bart at the same age. Wally was fifteen going on sixteen when he was first on the Team. The missions, from what he recalled, were tricky but not shadowed by a looming war. Bart wasn’t fourteen and yet he was called one of the most important assets on the Team.

Sickening. Jay had half a mind to question the competency of the Justice League, but he had to use his influence carefully. The Justice League may take his advice in consideration but any harsh criticism could be easily dismissed as an out of touch veteran’s cantankerous mutterings. While Barry would certainly listen to him, that was no guarantee for change. 

Why did he let Bart stay, he wonders. He and Joan were his guardians. Then he remembers again, the hard look in Bart’s eyes. If Jay and Joan did not let him, he would do it his own way, no matter the consequences. Perhaps he should have adopted a firmer stance. But Bart was not a young child that could be easily grounded or restrained. They were guardians but not…parental figures. Not quite. Bart did not openly rebel but neither was he obligated to stay with them, exactly. He listened out of respect and politeness, at least at this point. And Jay rather Bart be monitored and have help nearby than run the risk of Bart running off and doing God-knows-what in bum nowhere.

The new (old) suit and codename was just another hurdle for Jay to get used to. 

Jay sighs, rubs one of his temples. He reads the end notes again. To say they felt vaguely incomplete and superficial was an understatement. But most academic assessments were mostly a glimpse of a student’s ability to take a presented exam nowadays. His own and Joan’s experiences in the American education system long told of that. Bart’s strength in mathematics was unsurprising—his preference of fixing and updating his goggles was evident from the start, alongside his family history. Not that it would have been a shame if Bart wasn’t so inclined; it simply made many things easier. Though, strangely, Barry seemed startled whenever Jay told him of Bart’s fascination with machines and frequencies. 

Jay did not pretend to himself about any previous or future heartfelt conversations with Bart about the alternate now-unwinded future he came from. He didn’t know anymore than anyone else in the family. There was no one left to miss him, Bart had simply said when asked about any future-family to possibly return to, after the Reach were defeated, after poor Wally (it should have been you, you old bastard--).

Another life where there was no one left to miss him. Another aspect that was unfortunately similar to himself (no matter how long ago--). Jay takes another gulp of chamomile and watches the golden hour slowly pass into proper morning. Well, he thinks to himself. It’ll help no one fussing over that now. Bart will tell his current family more when he feels safe. Stable. Jay and Joan were happy to provide that but damn if Jay’s natural curiosity wasn’t piqued. It itched at him, to poke and ask so who did take care of you before you left. Time around fellas of his own generation had luckily taught him patience in that regard. 

The most pressing mystery to Jay was the way Bart ran and moved, smooth, graceful, unceasing. No pauses for recalculations. Leaping, darting. It reminded him someone he thought dead for decades--

Peripherally, Jay teeks a closeby aura shifting brighter, awake. The stairs creak a picosecond after. He straightens up and closes the beige folder.

“Bart,” he calls up. “Breakfast is ready. Clean up and eat some eggs. They’re in the pan for you.”

“Be right there!” Bart calls right down. Ten seconds and a gust of air later, he appears next to Jay’s seat. “Can I have some waffles too?”

“In the freezer.”

“Thanks!”

Jay works through the rest of his chamomile by the time Bart settles across him with a plate piled with eggs and a tower of blueberry waffles. Jay pushes a jar of honey towards him.

“Are we going to train today, Jay?” Bart asks halfway into his eggs and waffles, his tone a tad too casual, the muscles in his throat twitching. Modulating the voice. Jay doesn’t poke. “Gramps mentioned he wanted to skip patrol today so maybe we could go running in Utah or the Andes. I haven’t navigated mountains in a while.”

An incomplete assessment, only scratching the surface. An old costume from someone else. When was the last time Bart had done anything not related to superheroing? Barry mostly called to take Bart patrolling or to pick him up from Team missions as of recent weeks. Before, Bart would take every opportunity to blame the invasion to avoid many non-hero excursions. No excuses anymore, Jay decides.

“I was thinking something closer to home, slugger,” Jay says, pushing the folder to the side. “Do you like chemistry?”

Bart blinks, perks up a bit. “Can’t say I’m super familiar with it like you. More of a mechanic—I mean, I like playing with computer parts or, uh—I’m good with numbers. Carr put that in my report card, right?”

Jay smiles. “He did. Chemistry and physics are my game. I still work as a part-time director. I go in tomorrow.”

“I can do physics.” A twist in Bart’s mouth before his face flattens into something neutral. “Is there going to be a test?”

“Just on how fast you can figure out which chemicals can cause an explosion,” Jay says idly.

“Oh, I think I can do that.” A grin blooms across Bart’s face, something reflecting genuine emotion.  

“My lab’s in the basement,” Jay says, pleased. “After breakfast, I’ll show you what happens when you put sodium in water and how to put out a hydrogen fire. You gotta watch out for such things in a lab. You don’t want to blow up by accident.”

“A hydrogen fire?” Bart repeats, swallowing a bit of syrup covered eggs. His yellow eyes glittered with interest. “I know about magnesium and methanol fires but not hydrogen.”

“Not too different, asides from the fact it’s almost invisible in daylight,” Jay says cheerily. “It happens. After you learn how to not blow up by accident, then I’ll teach you how to make explosions on purpose.”

“Do you know how to put together a gas stove? Or a Bunsen burner?” Bart asks excitedly, voice climbing up. “I know how to fix one but I don’t know about which model parts belong to which since it’s hell trying to find an intact manual even in this time—”

“Sure thing, buster. But we’ll start from the beginning,” Jay tells him. “One step at a time. Think you can keep up?”

“I won’t forget a single one, Jay,” Bart replies with a thick layer of gushing assurance and eagerness. “And don’t worry, I won’t burn down the house. I promise.”

Jay huffed out a short laugh. “Alright, kid. Come on, let’s get started.” 

---