#//And it’s for a completely selfish reason; even through genuine remorse

[sailorgundam308]

Being the angst sucker that I am (but also a coward that doesn’t want to feel too depressed about bad endings), I headcanon a lot about the dynamics and end/post game canons for Astarion and Karlach as a couple (no shit!).

I know a lot of people ship Karlach with Dammon. I obviously don’t, but not because I think they don’t fit well together or whatever. I have this thing in my head of how I view Karlach which puts her relationship with Astarion as more realistic, more fulfilling, and more attractive to me (duh).

Dammon as a character is a nice, hard working guy. He’s also crazy handsome, has the hots for Karlach and some mechanics knowledge to be able to help her a bit. So yea, cool. I like him a lot so that’s not it.

BUT.

Just gonna blurt it out: I think Karlach is too fucked up to be with him in the canon universe we have. It’s a similar reason I have for how I see her reaction to the love test in the Circus in Act 3, which I made a post about. Had Karlach never been betrayed by Gortash, had not been irreversibly damaged (in more ways than one) and not been transformed by her 10 years ordeal, Dammon would be the ‘perfect pairing’ for her - a gentle, good hearted, generous and hot piece of ass. Thumbs up.

HOWEVER.

She’s not that girl anymore. She keeps it bottled up, pushes it down and shuts herself to what her trauma did to her and while it’s commendable, imo, it’s not real. She wants it to be so bad because she’s got so little time and is desperately clinging to her life before she started making mistakes (now being back in the Material Plane after so long). If she doesn’t die, though, she won’t keep this up forever. She’s carrying pain, remorse, ANGER, jealousy, self pity. A LOT of it. Much more than she let out in her post-Gortash breakdown. All these are very human emotions, and very understandable in her situation. She also changed, physically, mentally, emotionally. She grew, she learned- and it wasn’t all pretty and nice things. I like the idea that she’s being the most genuine character in the game while ALSO being the one wearing the most impenetrable mask. It’s wild and damn cool to see her through that lens.

Which brings me to Astarion.

He is also wearing a mask, but a much more frail one. He’s cracked. He tells and shows us these ugly emotions, his selfishness and hurt, much more directly than Karlach does. He’s broken, wicked, mean. It’s clear his trauma completely changed him (though I don’t think he was a good guy before it either), and is entrenched into who he is when we meet him - and will continue to be part of him even after he heals.

I think Karlach is attracted to him not in spite of how mean he is - but because of it. I don’t think she’s aware of it, though. She says something about Astarion having a good heart beneath it all - and while he might have something like a better heart inside that can be rescued, he’s not inherently good, nor he was before being turned (nor he wants to be). The dynamic of Karlach using goodness and positivity as a lifeline, as if to counter the decade of (literally) pure evil she’s been forced to endure, while also ‘surprisingly’ getting along so well with Astarion from the start, also being attracted to his wickedness, gives an incredible depth to their relationship. I see not only the idea of Karlach’s kindness, non-judgement and patience being a refuge for Astarion, but Astarion’s grey personality being a refuge where Karlach will be able to let her walls down - show the ugliness bottled up inside - without fear or shame, and knowing it will be completely and utterly understood. Astarion will never judge her for whatever impulses or thoughts she might have, for displays of selfishness, jealousy or violence. Imo, they can even work some of those out together (wink wink, but not only in that way lol). At the same time, I do believe Astarion saw from the first glance he had at Karlach (or in the first couple of days) that she carried a pain much like his. It’s why he respects her, why he is so quick to apologize to her and only to her, why he feels empathy for her suffering while being absolutely cold to the others. She’s the first one who gives him the opportunity of allowing himself to feel safe, to let his guard down if only for a night. His connection with her might be based on a selfish start (it’s about him - she is like him), but it grows to be more complex as they grow closer. I see him slowly falling in love with her as a parallel to him slowly learning to love himself, to forgive himself.

It’s all so beautiful, poetic and layered and shit (wow, me so eloquent).

But in all honesty, that’s all to say, while I think Karlach and Dammon look nice together, I see him as being the person who’d have been the one for her if she was just Karlach Cliffgate. However, she is not. She is Karlach Cliffgate and she is also Karlach Demonsbane - and for that ‘her’, Astarion - with his imperfections, his wicked ways and his darkness - is the one who truly fits her perfectly (or imperfectly, which imo is even better).

Thank you for reading all this rambling. I love rambling and will (can) never stop so good for you :V

AGH I LOVE bittersweet gritty messy romanceeeeeeee (but I wanna give them a better ending than the one in game - though if the patches weren’t broken, it’s improved a bit already)

[therese-lokidottir]

Btw why every single fan fiction I seeing (not all but many) is Tony stans? I meant they always put Tony in good light and 'oh poor baby' and worst of it they make other characters be worst and top of it is steve

Now, everyone have free will to writing what they want but come on, it's getting annoying. Specially it's so clear Tony is never good person, sure he have his good moments but the rest? He not nice to he so called close friends and lover

And Steve? Please just because he is a soldier didn't meant he is bad, I meant sure American soldiers and soldiers generally have bad reputation, but Steven prove it he more just a soldier, he is a man.

Also it's kind bothering me while this issue never been showing it but Steve is quite religius person and Tony is atheist. And now I am no want make some kind hateful comments but I feel little bit got insulted by it.

I meant if you have religion didn't make you good person but well they make Steve like that and hate him sound like imply something

I don't think Tony Stark is bad. I think he is a wonderfully complex character when written well when written within his film series. But then Civil War happened and then the MCU Spider-Man movies had to make the choices that they made.

In the original Iron Man film Tony is egotistical, he is selfish and he is a complete mess but he is still a man with a heart. He is genuinely remorseful for what his weapons have done and he wants to change and do good. Tony is a man who struggles with his ego and with being vulnerable. He has trouble letting down those walls even to his best friends who have stood by him through so much, he's still scared.

In the Iron Man films, those were flaws Tony needed to learn from. Tony needed to learn and grow and you do see that. But then CA: CW didn't quite get that. Tony does have compassion, he does have sympathy for people. But in CA: CW it's more about guilt than it is about responsibility and self-reflection. He gets called out but some mom, but was this not something Tony Stark was struggling with? Was he not already giving to the relief efforts?

People can argue that Steve was doing wrong things in CA: CW, he was breaking laws regardless of the accords, but Tony consciously does things that question if the accords have any legitimacy in the first place. He uses an untrained 15-year-old for backup without giving them full details of the situation and lying to their legal guardian. Tony's team initiates the fight and causes collateral damage because he's permitted to do so. Lastly, he ends up snapping and trying to murder someone and he never has to face repercussions for that, legal ones I mean. He's pushing for the accords while it's clear he doesn't have to abide by why they are supposed to be there.

Contrasting all that to Steve desperately trying to help his friend, consoles someone facing eminence guilt, and allows others to leave without judgment while giving them the full story, does make Steve seem a lot nicer and more human. Bucky was brainwashed, abused, and used by Hydra and the reason they could do that was because Howard Stark used Hydra members to build S.H.I.E.L.D. All because he thought it was acceptable to for the sake of protecting the world.

The problem with Tony's "mentorship" of Peter is he treats Peter more like a project than someone who is their own independent person he's meant to be guiding and pointing in the right direction. Of course, there is the metatextual problem of shifting from billionaires the bad guys to working-class bad guys in the franchise about the hero who is usually the working-class street-level hero.

The MCU really seemed to forget Tony was an ass he needed to be better. He ends up never learning and the MCU seemed to forget Tony's ego was both bad and annoying, and also kind of a coping mechanism and cover Tony was using to deal with his issues.

[zevranunderstander]

the thing about breaking bad is. Skyler isn't even in my top 3 characters or anything. I think she has genuine character flaws. I think she sometimes is just as much emotionally manipulating people as her husband does. but I cannot understand why the average watcher hates her so much without blaming it on extreme sexism.

I watch breaking bad on a site that isn't very legal and allows user comments. And you usually don't wanna read those comments, especially if you watch anything about black people or gay people because there is every level of -phobe and -ist on there that you can think of. But occasionally I really like seeing ultra-toxic people's opinions and I saw a bunch of comments specifically complaining about Skyler in season 4, which were a range of 'i hated her in every episode this season', to 'i hated every scene between her and Ted this season', 'she is so selfish and self-serving' and generally being mad at how she acts in season 4. And I really wanna break that down here right now, because I think that's incredibly stupid lmao

Okay so first, what does Skyler even do in season 4? It's the season where she most definitely becomes an accomplice in Walt's whole thing. but what doesn't want her to, because it's clear that it's shattering Walt's illusion of being the 'provider' and the 'man to whom respect is due', in the house. Its also clear that Walt seeing himself as that is really just for his ego, since he doesn't care about any of Skyler's absolutely valid concerns about explaining where the money comes from to the IRS, he doesn't WANT a realistic explanation as to where his money comes from, because it undermines the power he feels he has as a 'provider' who is doing dangerous things 'for his family', he wants to be adored and praised for providing, which is very clearly shown when he buys Flynn a car that they could never justify buying on their salary and Skyler has to be the 'bitch mom' who returns it. Walt cannot be bothered to care about any consequences his reckless spendings have on the family, even with small things like the expensive champagne. He cannot be bothered to give his wife enough information about what he is doing so she can properly keep herself out of the mess. He NEVER tells her how much money he makes and even then lies to her about the actual amount of money he would make annually when she calculates what his salary is. He is ANNOYED by her trying to set up a money laundering plan and (might I say flawlessly executing it with very little help from his side), and then he starts being mad at her when she realizes that Walt makes way more money than she could ever launder with her plan because he intentionally misled her about how much money he makes. He is so caught up in his own ego that he cannot see that it is only a matter of time before his badly thought-through lies are caught. He only even goes along with Skyler's gambling story because he still seems powerful and competent enough in it. He doesn't WANT any pity or show any remorse for his actions and then when Flynn shows pity towards him for being a gambling addict he completely loses it and gets mad at his son for not seeing him as the godly provider of the household that he wants to be.

And then Ted comes along and casually tells her the IRS wants him for tax fraud for more than half a million dollars and she reasonably gets concerned since she would be in loads of trouble for this, given she partially cooked the books for him and he just doesn't give a shit about her involvement in this at all, no matter what she tries to do to convince him that she would also go to jail. Yes, she gets incautious, giving Ted the money directly, "telling" him how she got it, and sending people to scare him into signing when he doesn't want to use any of the money to pay his debts, but, like, her neck clearly is on the line in all of this and Ted's complete refusal to take her (again, very very valid) concerns that this will end very badly not only for him, but also for her, seriously. And then it obviously all goes to shit. She obviously could have told Walt before this point but given that 99% of this arc could have been avoided if Walt ever clearly communicated with her I'd say that's a bit of a high standard to hold her to. Like, I refuse to hold this woman accountable for losing 600,000$ in a moment when Walt direly needs them because she was surrounded by men so high on image and ego-trips that they could not be bothered to care about Skyler in the slightest, but when her attempt to save her ass (AND Walt's ass) in all of that (partially) failed, we're mad at her? lmao? Were we mad at Walter "I just wasted a super expensive car and had to pay 53,000$ to cover it up, don't tell my wife about this"? Skyler had a perfectly good reason to spend the money, whereas Walt absolutely didn't. Do you think for a second that Walt would have told Skyler if it was the other way around?

I think the line from ep 12 encapsulates Walt's thought process so well where Walt says "Hank will know that [Marie] is overreacting", to which Skyler answers "Except, she isn't", showing how it is usually convenient to Walt that the women aren't really taken seriously by the men of the show when it comes to their own troubles, so much that he forgets when people actually have emotional reactions that WILL be taken seriously. For him, there is another "normal" than for other people and he so hates to interact with the "normal" reality of the show - the IRS, having a believable story, being able to suffer some humiliation to make his cover-up story work, people having genuine emotional reactions to his actions and behavior. He just wants to exist in a bubble where he is a respected crime lord that everyone sees as a powerful provider and as the epitome of masculinity and he hates how normal human laws and emotions interfere with this goal. And his disregard for how Skyler and Flynn are actually supposed to provide for themselves with the drug money he hands to them, expecting them to thank him is delusional at best.

[redxriiot]

Rappa has died.

『 .◉ Meme || Anon ◉. 』

        “Huh?”

        HA! That’s what ya get, ya fucking bastard! Was the first of many thoughts whirling around in him, screaming, cackling in absolute delight. You fucking idiot! You got yourself killed by some guy and now you’ll never fight me! You’ll never get that chance!

        It was so unlike him–unlike a hero–to feel such a thing. And as if on cue, amidst sheer relief and and utter rejoicing, a different feeling suddenly took root. Only it wasn’t guilt gripping at his heart, like he’d expect. It wasn’t that, it was more of a hollow, foreign feeling–

                                     But what about our match?

        –that planted a thought in his mind, enough to drown out all others

        He should be relieved, even a little remorseful. That was the gut feeling he had. So then why hadn’t it stayed?

         The man had been in many a dream since that rescue mission. No, not dreams…nightmares.

        Nights where he’ll toss and turn to visions of not being nearly strong enough, watching his mentor brutally beaten down before his very eyes, blood bursting, splattering and coloring the craggy floor.

        A cold, sharp dread filling his body like ice in not being enough and his own body breaking. The all too visceral feelings, the impacts, of the cracks in his armor, himself under the violent barrage of fists. Shattering.

       Hearing the man’s laughter, his sheer and utter delight in each and every fight, echoing in his brain even after he’d gasped and forced himself awake, gripping at the scars the other had etched into his skin where it had been torn away.

        Sick to his stomach in moments he’ll see a vision where that Tengai had never put up a barrier, Fat Gum had never stepped back up to take over and finish the fight. See himself push beyond anything he’d ever been, where he charged forth, past the flurry of impacts and plunged a sharpened fist right into the larger man’s gut. Tearing through muscles and organs alike, bathing himself in a shock of warm crimson. Pushing forwards again, again, losing himself to the sharp shudders that ran up and along his arms, through his body, screaming, punching, clawing his way through the other in an animalistic frenzy. Losing himself to the sensation of strength and sheer power over tearing apart the one who’d put his–his mentor’s–life in danger.

        Feeling the dull thud of the other’s body hit the ground. Hear garbled words of praise spill from his lips, the utter validation weighing at him just before he snapped awake in a cold sweat–

       “Red Riot–?“

       He snapped his head up, stomach churning uncomfortably as he gaze on the other. Lips parted, as he tried to find the words to speak. Once, twice, his mouth would move, and once, twice the words failed to come out.

        He should be happy, a bitter part of him insisted. Relieved, with this news. He’d never hurt anyone again. But–

        “That’s…rough.”

        What the hell?

        “Thought that parole woulda done ‘im good.”

        What the absolute fuck, you bastard?!

        “Guess a criminal can’t change his stripes so easy, huh?”

         I thought you had your eyes on me? Huh? What happened to that?!

        “Red, that’s…a little harsh.”

        What? Did you get so desperate for a good fight, you went off ta’ find some fucking extra ta’ beat down? Now look at you! You’re dead! You seriously let some fucking nobody kill you?!

        “Sorry.”

        You fucking bastard! It shouldnta been them! It shoulda been m–

        “Gu…ess it’s ju–st a little surprising.”

        This was supposed to be a good thing. He no longer had to worry about him. He never once had to keep his guard up, wondering if that guy would show up out of nowhere and take the first strike again. He would never had to think about some other person getting wrapped up in that man’s desire for a good fight. Hell, he would never have to worry about that rematch, would never have to relive the feeling of being smashed up, of being broken.

                                        So why wasn’t he happy?

         He felt…he felt–

                                           Dissatisfied. Outrage.

        The thought came into mind, and a fresh wave of disgust and other feelings he didn’t want to identify washed over him, like something crawling up and bursting from the ground after being buried away and left for dead.

        Yeah, he would never have to fight Rappa again. But then he would never get the chance to surpass him. He could swear it all he wanted, but that rematch…

        He took a sharp breath.

                                      He had wanted it just as badly.

         A hero wasn’t supposed to have grudge matches. A hero wasn’t supposed to enjoy the thrill of a fight, pick a fight for petty reasons. Wasn’t supposed to indulge the enemy, especially not something like that.

         But he had wanted that fight. As much as Rappa did, hell, even more. He could swear it was different to anyone who said it. But there was no denying it now. He had wanted to shove that bastard’s face in the damn ground and break him. He wanted to pulverize him, twice as bad as the other had to him.

          Why?

         Had the desire to clash against him and see who would come out as the victor had become too strong to ignore? To show him which of the two of them was really the strongest? That he really was a goddamn man, strong enough to beat even the most brutal of fighters? He wouldn’t put it above himself, no matter how much he wanted to shove the thought down. He’d had those same feelings before, in seeing Bakugou throw the ball the first time, the sheer power he had displayed with such apparent ease.

                       ‘What if we fought? Would it be a good match?’

                                         ‘Which of us would win?‘

         But Bakugou was alive. More than that, he had already fought Bakugou and lost. He understood eagerly wanting to fight him again and fix that, beat him in return.

         However that feeling was nothing compared to the sheer rush of adrenaline and the utter burn that had eaten at and coursed through him in facing Rappa. Nothing compared to the emotions torn and dredged out of him in losing to him in the first round, like someone had filled his veins with gasoline and let it ignite, searing him from the inside out. In taking that blaze within himself, getting the fuck back up again and fighting like he used to. No limits, no holds barred, no regrets.

        Just taking a hit, giving back, and forcing himself to keep on, until someone broke.

        If he beat Bakugou, it would be fine. He’d gloat, he’d laugh, go on with his day. He might even get so damn cocky about it. If he beat Rappa…he swore he could take on the world. He felt it in simply dreaming about it. To allow himself to indulge in it, edge closer to see just what it was…it was a feeling of absolute accomplishment. Euphoria. Rappa was everything he wanted to surpass, the very one who dredged out the worst of the negative feelings in him.

                           His despair, his own burning desire to fight.

          No matter how deep he’d buried it, he remembered what it was like to lose a fight to someone only to force himself to charge back in and go another round. To fight another with such vigor and determination, he’d do anything and everything to win because he had to. Because he wanted to. 

        This guy brought out the worst in him, yes. Even afterwards, he could set his blood to an utter boil with more ease than most any other, and had brought him so close to breaking his little sunshine of a facade and throwing the first punch. A constant temptation to  fight again, just like they he wanted.

          But in that moment, in their first brawl, he had used that to fight anew. Things he buried out of hatred of them and himself had become a strength in that moment, solely to beat him. They fueled him, and that guy had been the very crux of making that happen.

                 No one else had done that for him. Not even come close.

         He tied the image of his negative sides to that man, focused it all on him, intending on letting that hatred fester and boil, let his own strength grow and meld with that feeling, become so much more than their first meeting until the time was right, until he could finally rise up to that challenge and truly give that man his all. To put a stop to the fighter himself, but now that he was gone…

                   Now he was gone and somebody else got to him first.

        Somebody else got to claim the life of the man who owed him a damn fucking rematch. Someone stole his goddamn right to it. That bastard let himself get killed, and now he would never get the chance. He got back at him for the wait in the sickest way possible, and God fucking dammit, did that piss him the hell off.

         Was that what Rappa had wanted? He got so tired of waiting for their fight, he went off and got himself killed so he’d be left feeling the same goddamn dissatisfaction? Frustration?

                                    Except his was now permanent.

        Teeth grit tight.

        Even without his own competitive nature drawing up things he’d rather disappear, there was another surge of feeling: Anger. Forget the damn fight, there was so much he could have learned from the other.

          Aizawa was the last person he’d need to learn fighting techniques from. Their styles were so different. All Might wasn’t a teacher, even he could see it, discern from his advice and how he carried himself. Fat Gum could could only teach him so much, focusing on defense more than anything, even if he was a bit of a scrapper. Hell, if anything, he’d probably teach him the watered-down version of what he wanted, what he needed to learn to be stronger.

         Rappa…now Rappa was the paragon of what he needed, if he had just set to use the other right. A fighter like him, who needed not to think of strategy. Who needed only rely on his own brute strength and barrel ahead to engage. A seemingly fearless man with a ferocity and drive like almost no other. Startlingly similar to the Crimson Riot, he was even willing to venture. Two men of great strength who cared not for dwelling on fear or despair, who forged forwards to impossible limits, past it all to succeed at what they sought to by any means necessary. Granted one for a thrill, and the other to save.

                          But he was both. And both held his admiration.

         And for the one of the two he’d actually met–

       “Ah, good riddance–“ He stood and turned suddenly, knocking over his chair as he stormed out. “The world didn’t need people like him around anyways!”

        –well, God damn, he owed it to him to find the damn bastard who’d stolen his opponent away. Find him and making him regret killing his goddamn adversary. It would be nowhere near the same thrill, he was sure of it. There was no way that fight could ever compare to the one they would have had. But damn it all to hell, if it was the next best thing, well–

                    –nobody got away with taking something from him.

[egg-emperor]

"It's close, but there's a small but significant difference: Movie Eggman knows he's evil, and loves it. He openly admits to everyone including himself that he is selfish and evil and he doesn't care. He relishes the fact that he's evil. Game Eggman, at least as Sonic Team originally envisioned him, doesn't think of himself as evil. He thinks he's making the world a better place." I saw this and had to ask if this was true? Because I never remembered anything implying this about Game Eggman.

Game Eggman definitely isn't unaware that what he's doing is evil for many reasons. And no, there's never been a solid implication of him having that belief within an actual game, regardless of what's happened and been said outside of that solid and finalized canon.

If he did, he wouldn't need to knowingly and shamelessly lie and manipulate others. He wouldn't need to create obvious propaganda about his Empire, like the Forces promo video where he tried to make lack of freedom sound fun and enforced that loving it is mandatory because he knew people wouldn't be happy about the conditions. He also wouldn't have to pretend he's going to turn over a new leaf like in Unleashed, pretend to feel remorse like in Colors to try to remove suspicion, and pretend to change his ways, only to stab people in the back. Even at the Spin Gear rollercoaster of all things, he claimed what he's doing is for world peace but slipped up twice, revealing his true selfish intentions of world domination, proving they're separate things to him and the former isn't his genuine intention.

There's also the most recent TailsTube video, where they remind people that his intentions in taking over the world are all about being in control and the center of attention. It's always for malicious and selfish reasons that benefit himself only and he'll knowingly hurt tons of innocent people, do terrible damage to the environment, and cause global destruction to get what he wants without hesitancy or remorse and that's why, as they put it, he's the most dangerous threat. There's just no way that he's oblivious to the terrible evil he does all the time but he's always either apathetic towards it or even finds it entertaining and expresses sadistic pleasure in it.

There's also the way he has outright acknowledged his evil. He has described himself and his actions as evil in games, so that's one of the most blatant undeniable things, can't get any more obvious. He knows he's the bad guy and he chooses to accomplish his goals through evil. His SA2 theme is also blatant acknowledgement of his selfishness, the way he's the enemy, and the way his machines are made for destruction. He's a smart guy with a 300 IQ and it isn't implied that his big ego makes him delusional to the fact that he's evil. He could accomplish his goals of being recognized for his genius and power and getting the attention he craves through doing good like his grandfather with his genius but chooses to be evil and take over the whole world by force.

I do think that he believes he'll be improving the world and making it beautiful when he rules it because of course he does because it means he's free to shape it in his own image, build his fucked up empire and Eggmanland theme parks, has complete and total control over everyone and everything like a god, and is the center of attention like he's always desired. Of course he'll think it's beautiful and the best it can be when he gets what he wants. But that isn't without causing everyone else misery, pain, environmental damage and pollution, and lack of freedom with no real benefits. Whenever he tries to make his actions sound good and beneficial for anyone other than himself, it's always a lie. He's deeply selfish and he has been officially described as "without a thought for anybody else" and it's very accurate.

And when you look at it in this way with all the evidence and especially with his blatant acknowledgement of being evil, you see that him having the belief that he'll make the world a better and beautiful place is by his own selfish definition with getting power, control, attention, and building his Empire and Eggmanland. It certainly doesn't mean he genuinely cares about whether anyone can benefit from it or is unaware that what he's doing is evil, it's genuinely the exact opposite for both.

[missinghan]

cold sun ⤖ han jisung

❖ genre : soulmate au; fluff; angst

❖ word count : 2,6k.

❖ warning : slight swearing

❖ summary : in a world where one will lose something if their soulmate doesn’t reciprocate their words of love once they turn sixteen, jisung is willing to take the risk so you won’t have to bear the burden.

❖ note : i just realized how i always tend to write for jisung when i'm down :')) anywho this piece is a little different than what i usually come up with but i hope y'all enjoy it ♡

It’s the first day of the week.

“Hey, Y/N. I like you!”

And Han Jisung is really annoying.

Those words come out so easily. It's casual in a way that makes you bury your red nose deeper into the soft fabric of your scarf, which makes your footsteps quicken unknowingly as his voice chases after you loudly. Either way, this isn’t the first time Jisung has said so. In fact, it’s become a habit for him to remind you every other day.

There’s no particular reason why. Or at least that’s what you think.

It’s the end of the week. Jisung decides to hang himself upside down on your bed while you’re stressing over a presentation. “Hey, Y/N.” A cold winter breeze comes rushing against the perplexing glass of your window, shaking the frame violently before all motions come to silence.

Until, “Y/N, Y/N, Y/N,” he creeps up from behind you and chirps into your ear.

“What?” you let out a groan of displease when tempting warmth embraces you whole, prompting you to drop your attention and looking over your shoulder.

Jisung pouts, “You didn’t answer me.”

“It’s because you’re annoying,” you sigh.

“Answer me when I call your name,” he pulls you in a fraction tighter, careful enough not to hurt you but firm to not let you slip away at the same time, and cradles your neck warmly, “So I’d know that you’re still here with me.”

“Alright, stupid.”

The all too familiar gummy smile returns instantly. “Hey, Y/N?”

And you can’t help but roll your eyes. “Yes, Jisung?”

“I like you,” he giggles into the hug, “I like you a lot.”

Han Jisung really is annoying.

He’s annoying because he talks too much. He’s annoying because of how he always asks for your notes after a gaming night with Felix just to nap in class. He’s annoying because he’d drop you in a heartbeat for a single slice of cheesecake from Jeongin’s mom’s bakery. He’s annoying because of how well he can get along with everyone.

Chatty, down-to-earth, easy-going with a lovable smile—attractive, very attractive.

It’s the week after that. “What...happened?”

“He lost his voice,” Jeongin sighs, looking like he genuinely wants to facepalm himself against concrete while walking with an incoherent Jisung to school; expressive hands with his mouth agape and all.

You tilt your head, “...for real?”

“For real.”

After a few seconds of eyeing Jisung struggling with converting what’s in his head, you exhale deeply and quickly rummage through your backpack, “Just stop, you look ridiculous.” And he does just that, zipping his mouth metaphorically and giving you those typical puppy eyes. “Here, use this.”

His eyes light up like stars when you rip off a page from one of your notebooks and offer it to him along with a pen. Truth is, you’re expecting something as predictable as ‘I like you’ or ‘It’s alright it’s just the worst cold I’ve ever caught’. But then, what’s displayed on the piece of paper right now only baffles you.

Park is going to murder you if he sees some uglyass tear in your Ochem notes :)

A forced grin splits your lips open. “Not if I murdered you first and then the entire school and then myself.”

The first genuine smile blossoms on his lips when you give him a mini-sized notepad and pencil the day after—his sixteenth birthday.

And Jisung decides this is it.

It happens when the sun hasn’t even come out yet and the irritating blue light from his phone reads 5:32 AM.

It happens when he sees your reclined figure leaning back against his mattress, his pupils tracing your delicate features. Perplexed emotions fill his eyes to the brim, fulfillment bursting within his chest when you stare right back at him with such purity. So pure that it seems you can do no harm to him and neither can he.

“Hey stupid,” you murmur quietly, shoving a notepad and pencil against his chest, “Happy birthday.”

Jisung gives you a bright smile, opens his mouth, and snaps it close mere moments later. Sixteenth birthday. Early in the morning. Tired grins. The fondness of being so disgustingly in love.

He can’t help but lean in and caves into the taste his soul has longed for as long as he can remember.

Two weeks have passed since Jisung has lost his voice.

Nothing has differed if you’re being completely honest. Han Jisung is still annoying. His lack of ability to speak doesn’t appear to be a problem to him at all. He loves chatting with people even though he’s more of a listener now. But with the small notepad you gave him a few days ago, being socially active is the norm for him even now.

Thanks to his rather short-period experiences of observing people’s expressions and how their features contort in certain ways when they’re feeling certain emotions, Jisung catches onto your mood more quickly during bad days to help you release your inner turmoil by scribbling down something stupid on the notepad. It’s kinda nice like this, you’d think to yourself sometimes.

Other times, you’re more scared that you might have forgotten what his voice sounds like.

“No wonder you got a fucking cold. Stop taking midnight showers already.”

You wave Jisung over when he closes the wooden door to your bedroom, droplets dripping from his hair as he scratches his stomach tiredly. His hair is a mess when he lazily crawls onto your bed, the cushion beside you dips slightly.

His index finger pointing at his post-shower head and a shit-eating grin are all you need to snatch the white towel around his neck.

“I don’t know if you’ve noticed,” you mumble while rubbing the cotton fabric into his hair, “But you’re awfully upbeat for someone who’s lost their voice. Can’t you at least pretend to be sad about it?”

A noise of protest escapes his throat like second nature as your eyes carefully read the quick movements of his mouth. “And can you not be so mean to someone who’s lost their voice?”

A faint smirk creeps its way up to your lips. “Still like me now?”

Jisung thinks hard for a few moments before jumping out of bed to snatch his notepad from your studying area. Of course, I like you. I like you a lot. Your heartbeat momentarily spikes at his scrawny handwriting. Just when your gaze is averted away to cool the blush on your cheeks, he tugs at your sleeve again and points at a different mess of scribbles. You’re more gentle when I’m like this. And you’d always find me if I ever got into trouble. What’s there for me to be sad about?

“Annoying little shit,” you swallow your pride and let him settle his head against your chest.

His presence melts into yours during the hardest hours of the twenty-four, heartbeats on heartbeats and warmth on warmth. Your one regret is that you’re unable to register his tears that night, only the incoherent, breathless hiccups almost as to desperately call out your name.

It’s been a month since Jisung’s lost his voice. And the night when he kisses you for the second time, his notepad is long forgotten next to your pillow.

I-can’t-talk. Give-me-a-break.

Jeongin. Cheesecake. Please? Pretty please?

I’ll fucking kick you.

Wait, there’s homework?!

...so you’re telling me LMAO isn’t how French people laugh?

“This is what you’ve been doing during breaks huh…” you mumble under your breath while lazily flipping through the papers. The occasional ‘I like you’-s do pop up every two pages or so, which is more than enough to make you smile like an idiot. But that is until a peculiar paragraph yanks your attention by its neck and tosses it against a brick wall.

Mom, promise me you’re not going to cry.

He made auntie cry?!

I lost my voice for real now but it wasn’t supposed to be like that at first. I just wanted to mess with Y/N and freak her out for a day.

I’m seriously going to punch him.

She was a lot softer toward me after that, you know. I know it’s extremely selfish of me but I just can’t help being so happy. I’m sorry, mom. I really am.

Han Jisung you fucking idiot.

I was going to surprise her on my birthday by saying ‘good morning’ out loud but nothing came out. My voice was gone.

Guilt, anger, remorse take over you. You knew nothing of this. You never once questioned for a logical reason behind the loss of his voice and kept moving onward as if it’s not that big of a deal. You didn’t suspect it as a kind of prank, either. But you still care, all this time! You have been doing everything in your power as a way for both you and Jisung to treasure himself even if he can’t speak anymore.

I went to a check-up last week. Nothing came up. I’m sorry. Please don’t cry.

However, without fail, the obnoxious part of you will keep wandering back to the concept of soulmates that has been engraved so deeply into the society you’re living in. It makes no sense to you that Jisung lost his voice for no reason right before his sixteenth birthday. This explains it all now.

It’s going to be okay, mom. Because I have Y/N. I know she would come running toward my side over and over again even if she can’t hear me anymore. I really don’t know what I’d do without her in my life.

Jisung knew the penalty for being the first to exchange any words of love yet he still did it. And you were too busy overlooking that stupid pride of yours to say those three words back.

It’s getting to the point where I’m starting to forget what I used to sound like. I’m sorry. Please don’t cry.

Jisung fixes the strap of his backpack, looking up at his mom after slipping into his sneakers. She ruffles his bed head and hands him a small white box with Jeongin’s bakery’s signature logo on it.

He tilts his head in faint confusion, peering at the box of pastry in his arms.

“Give it to Y/N on the bus, okay? Her parents aren’t home right now. You know how she would always skip breakfast when they’re out of town.”

His eyes light up instantly in realization and Jisung nods, preparing to bid her farewell. Just then, his front door comes flying open. It can’t be a mere acquaintance because there are very few people other than his parents and himself who know of the spare key hidden under the welcome mat.

As Jisung turns around, he’s keenly aware of your teary eyes already trained on him. Which in hindsight, makes no sense. As a result, panic rises within the hollowness of his chest, his lips falling agape but no coherent words come out.

“Y/N, sweetheart,” his mom flinches, slightly caught off guard, “Is everything okay?”

A scowl stretches over your contorted features as you shut the door loudly. “What the hell is this?” you question, shoving the familiar notepad into his chest. “A prank? A prank?! Do you think that this is funny?”

Jisung’s frantic eyes move to read the paper and every single color on his face drains tremendously. He easily recognizes the peculiar paragraph by how much lighter the ink is compared to the rest of the messy lines because his pen was running low and his hand couldn’t stop shaking.

Your voice.

His eyes avert back to look at you. His brows furrow timidly and shaky breaths burst from his lips almost like a desperate cry for help. There’s too much he wants to say, too many things to explain, and too many questions running through his head that he can’t process what to do next. He might just overwhelm both you and himself.

I need to hear it again.

And you might not stay by his side this time.

“Okay, don’t answer me then, I guess,” you chuckle lowly, dipping your head and turning around.

Jisung grabs at your sleeve instinctively and drops the pastry box, his gaze empty and all too knowing. Sorrow glazes over his starry eyes when it starts becoming hard to breathe properly. The outlines of his lips are moving non-stop yet nothing comes following after that.

“I don’t know what you’re saying,” you rasp out and tug at his hand. Then it hits you. He’s like this because of you. Jisung lost his voice because of you.

His mom cuts into the conversation, “Y/N, you don’t understand!”

“I’m sorry, auntie,” you smile sadly and take off running into the streets.

You, in the midst of your self-loathing and guilt, allow your feet to go wherever they want as your vision spirals into a blur. A single droplet threatens to fall when a forceful hand yanks you back to reality.

It takes Jisung a moment to regain his regular breathing pace. And when he finally gets it, all he can do is call out to you with the same inaudible sounds and the same desperation in his eyes. It seems as though he’s fully aware that the prank was the stupidest, most irrational thing he’s ever done. But there’s more to the ocean within his eyes than just remorse.

“I already told you,” you clench your jaw and slap his hand away, “I don’t fucking know what you’re saying!”

A deep sigh. “Why am I mad? Of course, I’d be mad! It’s because of me that you lost your voice! It’s because I like you, too! Yet I never said it back… You lost your voice because of me! Don't you get it? Why can't you just hate me for the sake of it?!”

You miss his voice. You miss it a lot.

You want to hear it again. You want to hear him call you by your name. You want to stay up late and talk about anything to the ends of the Earth and back with him. You want him to be the obnoxious, chatty Han Jisung you've always known.

You miss how annoyingly loud he is.

“Y-Y...Y/N…!”

Jisung collapses onto his knees, a hand on concrete while the other is on his neck. His chest rises and falls unevenly, muffled noises of discomfort echoing deep down from his throat. Despite that, what you heard just now, is his voice.

“Answer me when I call your name. So I’d know that you’re still here with me.”

“I promised you, didn’t I,” you spread your arms and smile warmly, “That I’d always answer when you call my name. As long as I can still hear you, I will come running toward you over and over again. Doesn’t matter what it takes, doesn’t matter where you are.”

Jisung lifts his head and tears come rolling down on his cheeks. His throat feels swollen when he stutters with difficulties, trying to convey what’s in his head, “Y-Y/N, don’t- don’t go! Please don’t leave me...!”

“Come here,” you close your eyes with the widest grin on your lips, “I’m not going anywhere.”

Only when Jisung grows closer and throws his arms around you, sobbing into your uniform do you convince yourself that all of this isn’t a hallucination. The hug is a lot stronger than what you’d expect. First of all, you nearly fell over from the impact and your arms are pinned so tightly to your sides that you feel like your ribs are going to snap.

Everything is so overwhelming that all you can say is, “Ow.”

“Sorry,” he mumbles into your hair and loosens his arms a bit so you can loop your hands to the nape of his neck and hair.

“You’re so annoying, Han Jisung.”

He purses his lips, sniffling, “You tried to make me snap on purpose. Meanie.”

You quirk a playful brow, “Still like me now?”

“Yeah,” Jisung smiles, “A lot.”

Because he knows that he has you. Until every last star in the galaxy explodes as a supernova, Jisung has you.

[yellowsuitcase]

Intertwined // Draco Malfoy

Request:  Hi, can i request an imagine where Y/N and Draco has been together for a long time but one time, Draco forgot to use protection and didn't care for Y/N in the next morning so she got reallll upset. At first Draco don't understand why Y/N acted like that so he gets angry back at her but then he realises the reason and they make every thing up. Start with rough smut, angst in the middle and end with fluff pleaseee. I'll patiently waiting for you sooo take your time and don't force yourself too much ❤

A/N: I don’t have much to say about this one, I really liked the request, I thought it was really real. Also this takes place after Hogwarts and Y/N + Draco live alone.

Summary: Draco is inconsiderate towards his girlfriend and Y/N is n o t happy about it.

Warning(s): SMUT!!! Unprotected sex, choking, swearing, angst, couple verbally fighting, fluff.

Word Count: 2k

Masterlist

{Not my gif also it’s so dramatic for this lol}

“That’s it, baby girl, ride my cock,” Draco purred as he gripped his girlfriend’s hips, slowly lifting her up and down on his dick. Y/N whimpered, they’d been at it for nearly thirty minutes now, and her pussy was painfully sensitive. Draco had already eaten her out as well as edged her with his fingers. But there she was, bouncing on his cock, wanting to please him. However, after a few more minutes of her riding him, Draco’s grip grew tighter, and he began slamming his hips upwards, pounding himself deep in her pussy.

“Fuck, Draco,” Y/N moaned as she let her legs go limp. Draco flipped them over and was now on top of her. His hand found her throat, and he held it firmly as his hips snapped into her mercilessly. He grabbed her legs and rested them against his shoulders. Y/N watched as he shut his eyes and let himself go, his pace getting even quicker. Loud squelching noises filled the couple’s bedroom, and Y/N could tell he was getting close.

“Such a good girl for me, my perfect little slut,” he grunted, making Y/N whine. She clenched her fingers in the bedsheets and warned him of her approaching orgasm. “Gonna cum again?” he teased. “Go on then, whore, cum on me,” he coaxed. Y/N closed her eyes and focused on the building pressure in her abdomen. But then, she felt Draco slap her clit and found herself cumming instantly from the stimulation. Draco laughed as she tightened her walls around him and scrunched her face in pleasure. He fucked her through her orgasm as his own was advancing. His thrusts became sloppy. Just as Y/N was beginning to whine about the sensitivity, Draco came inside her with a loud groan, his hips pressed flush against her ass. 

When he pulled out, Y/N quickly realized that Draco hadn’t used a condom. “Fuck baby girl, you look so pretty with my cum dripping from your cunt,” Draco breathed, his breath fanning over her swollen pussy. She wriggled her hips to get away from the cool air emerging from his lips, but then he yanked her close and licked a long stripe up her slit, pushing the semen back inside her with his tongue. A guttural moan left Y/N as she arched her back, the overstimulation sending sparks through her body. When Draco pulled away, Y/N expected him to help her into the shower, but she was wrong. Instead, he patted her pussy and flopped onto the bed beside her. 

“Goodnight darling,” he murmured before slipping underneath the covers and turning away from her. Y/N was shocked. This was rather uncharacteristic of Draco. Not using protection and now going to sleep right after sex. Quite frankly, it made her heart clench, and not in a good way. 

Slowly, she scooted herself off their king size mattress and trudged to the bathroom; the soreness between her legs made this a difficult task. Eventually, though, she got inside and immediately sat on the toilet. After she used it, she turned on the shower and sat back down, waiting for it to heat up. She couldn’t shake the confusion and the hurt from her mind. But ultimately, she decided to push those thoughts away and instead focused on cleaning her sweaty, bruised body. Draco’s always quite rough with her during sex, and she enjoyed it, but he had really done a number on her tonight. Maybe when he sees that tomorrow, he’ll apologize, she thought to herself as she rubbed the loofa up and down her arms.

When she eventually slid back into bed with Draco, she couldn’t help but lay her arm over his waist. Sure he’d been a bit inconsiderate tonight, but Y/N still wanted him close. So she stroked his stomach with her thumb as much needed sleep overtook her.

-----------

{The next morning}

Y/N’s eyes fluttered open as she yawned; the bright sunlight streaming from their windows was right on her face. She quickly shielded herself and looked to her left. Draco was still fast asleep. Y/N made sure not to wake him as she got up. Once on her feet, the memories of last night returned thanks to the pain between her legs. She hobbled down the hallway and stairs and made her way to the kitchen. She and Draco had no house elves per Y/N’s request, so they had to make their own meals. Y/N decided that today would be an omelet type of day. So she gathered all the necessary ingredients as well as a pan and began crafting the dish. 

While she was flipping the omelet, she heard Draco coming down the steps. She glanced over at him and watched as he settled into the cozy armchairs in their living room, not even bothering to greet her. Anger began to stir, but Y/N shoved it down and returned her eyes to the omelet, which she found was currently burning. “Shit!” she cursed as she quickly transferred it to a spare plate. 

The sound of a soft laugh caught her attention, and she turned her head to see Draco’s smiling face. Usually, this would amuse her, but not that morning. “Shut your trap,” she muttered as she started making a second omelet. 

“Excuse me?” Draco bellowed. Y/N instinctively tensed but held her ground. 

“You heard me. Shut up.” She heard Draco get to his feet and walk into the kitchen. Y/N’s anger was becoming unignorable now. But she kept her lips shut as he leaned on the counter beside her.

“What’s got you in such a foul mood?” he questioned. Y/N snapped, dropping her spatula on the marble countertop. Her head whipped towards Draco and his eyebrows jumped at the fury visible on her face.

“Why don’t you take a wild guess, Malfoy?” she spat, crossing her arms over her chest. Draco gave her a look of confusion. 

“Or you could just tell me what’s wrong,” he replied.

“Haha, no, I want you to figure it out.”

Draco couldn’t understand what his lover was getting at, and it was making him grow frustrated. “Y/N, I don’t have the patience for this bullshit; just spit it out,” he argued. Y/N shook her head in disbelief and flipped her omelet. 

“The fact that you won’t even stop and think for a second just proves how selfish you are.” This comment made Draco’s blood boil. He stood up straight and clenched his fists at his sides.

“Well, at least I’m not a fucking bitch like you,” he sneered. Y/N gasped, and Draco immediately regretted his words. He could see shiny tears in her eyes as she hurriedly turned off the stove and transferred the omelet to a plate. “Y/N, I didn’t mean that.” She shook her head and fled the kitchen, not even glancing at him as she stormed away. 

Draco kicked the cabinets, enraged with himself. He’d really done it now. And the worst part was he still couldn’t put his finger on why Y/N was so upset in the first place. Surely it wasn’t because of his laughter when she burnt the omelet. But if not that, then what else? Draco ran his hand through his hair as he began to pace in the kitchen. Eventually, though, he stopped himself, grabbed a plate, and started eating. The burnt texture was pretty awful, but Draco forced it down his throat anyway. 

Now with a full stomach, his head felt clear. He retraced his steps in his mind. He had come downstairs, then sat in the living room; that was it. But then he thought farther back, back to the previous night. And that’s when it hit him. “Fuck,” he muttered, dropping his face into his palms, feeling utterly terrible. Could he genuinely have just gone to bed right after sex? Now that he was thinking about it, Y/N’s neck was littered with love bites this morning, and she had looked exhausted. Yet he had done nothing for her, nothing at all. Draco felt sick to his stomach, and not because of the omelet. Without wasting another second, he jumped to his feet and hastily ran upstairs, but not before taking the second dish with him. 

A knock at Y/N’s door halted her tears. She sighed, not really wanting to face her boyfriend right then, but she still wiped her face and opened the door. There stood her blonde-haired boy, a guilty look on his face. “May I?” he asked. Y/N nodded and stepped back, allowing them into their shared bedroom. He set the plate in his hands on his desk and took hesitant steps towards her. It felt as though remorseful tension was in the air, and for a few moments, neither of them said a word. But then Draco lifted his hand and gently cradled her face, making her look up at him.

“I’m so sorry, love. I should have taken care of you last night instead of just falling asleep. And I shouldn’t have called you a bitch or been rude to you this morning. It was completely uncalled for, and I...I feel like an absolute dick, and I’m just really, really sorry.”

Y/N remained silent, simply letting her head rest in his hands. She could tell he was sincere. “I forgive you. But Draco," she started, "I could hardly hold myself up in the shower, and I really needed you. I wanted to cuddle with you like we usually do. And not to mention the fact you didn’t wear a condom, I could get pregnant…” she trailed off. Y/N wasn’t sure if she wanted a family so soon, or even at all. She didn’t think she nor Draco were even close to being ready for such a huge responsibility. But she was pulled from her thoughts by Draco stroking her cheek.

“Y/N, I promise you it will never happen again. You’re everything to me, and I will always take care of you and be there for you whenever you need me. I know I wasn’t last night. Last night I was reckless and a fucking git, but from now on I won't be, I swear it,” Draco declared. His eyes looked fearful as he waited for Y/N to reply. And she did, just not with words. She took a step forward and nestled herself against his chest. Draco immediately wrapped his arms around her and breathed in her scent, feeling at peace, knowing things were okay again. 

“I believe I am due for a cuddle appointment, Dr. Malfoy,” Y/N stated, breaking the silence with her playful tone. She giggled as Draco let her go and dragged her towards their bed. He then scooped her up, making her squeal, before he dropped her onto the bouncy mattress. Her bright smile was irresistible, and he scrambled onto the bed, smashing his lips onto hers. She kissed him back, passionately, happy to be reconciled. 

“Dr. Malfoy shall provide you with the necessary amount of cuddles to cure your ailment,” Draco stated in a funny voice, playing along with the bit. Y/N giggled and reconnected her lips with his, bringing his body close to hers.

And as the sun rose higher and higher into the sky, the couple remained on the bed, legs intertwined with legs and fingers clutching palms. Their hearts were content. All was forgiven. And even when the moon took the sun’s place, they still hadn’t detached from one another. They ended up falling asleep like that. And in the morning, Draco carried his girl to the bathroom, pledging to never let her wash alone again. 

Taglist: @beiahadid @pastelpuffbar @cutie1365 @dracoxmgg @lumlfy @sambucky8 @emilianamason @raplinethereal @dracosdeathmark @xoxohollands @prongsandprancer @ch0kemedracomalfoy @avlauriaa @purpleskymalfoy @mariah-can-dream @drxcomvlfx @sydnee-kom-spacekru​ @dracosgoodgirl @voilawind @gloryekaterina

[shepherds-of-haven]

I'm obsessed with this dark!Shepherds AU?? Could you tell us more about it? Or in a head-to-head fight, which Shepherds would win against their evil counterparts or vice versa?

Hi there, good question! I haven’t really given that much thought to the dark!Shepherds AU, but I imagine (if we’re making it very similar to the Justice League scenario) something happens to make the majority of the Shepherds snap, and they turn against the Autarchy and instate a form of governance based solely on power and domination. They think they’re doing what’s right by preventing conflict and protecting the world from demons, just like the Justice Lords felt when they took over the world. That being said...

Dark!Blade: Dark!Blade isn’t all that different from teenage/young adult Blade, who was perfectly comfortable with the idea of assassinating and killing people for his cause, and because he firmly believed it would lead to the greater good. Dark!Blade would be like that, but even colder and more ruthless than his past self. He would rid himself of all personal attachments, such as friends, family, and romance, believing that such feelings made him weak and hesitant, and made himself vulnerable to his enemies in the way that the Autarch was made vulnerable through her sons. 

In a toe-to-toe combat situation, it’s hard to say who would win. Both have razor-sharp killing instincts and battle tactics, but I’m probably going to give it to Dark!Blade, because he would be willing to fight dirty (taking loved ones hostage, threatening kids or bystanders) and Blade would sacrifice himself willingly for others while Dark!Blade wouldn’t. So I’ll give it to him 90% of the time!

Dark!Trouble: I really can’t imagine a dark version of Trouble, not in the whole “bad Justice League” sense. I suppose he already walks a fine line between light and dark as it is; his relentless good, altruism, courage, and compassion make him a hero, but there’s that edge of temper, rage, and darkness (especially in his past--he was a criminal and killer-for-hire too, after all) that colors it as well. Like, now it’s fine for him to beat the everloving shit out of an asshole like Lazu Reen, but that could tip over to someone who’s not so black-and-white bad, too--he could turn that hatred towards an enemy who is more nuanced, like a politician who ultimately serves the people and does good, but who happened to make Trouble an enemy by personally slighting or hurting a friend, something like that. Trouble’s sense of loyalty tends to override his desire for justice in some ways, and I could see him supporting someone like Blade or MC to the end if they framed their endeavors in a way that could still be read as “good”. Like, yeah I had to kill this group of people, but it was for the greater good! And he’d be like “alright, I trust you!” He’s got your back even when the whole world turns against you, until there comes a point when he just can’t stand it anymore--but by then, he probably already did a lot of bad out of love of his friends.

If it were a death match between Dark!Trouble and our Trouble, I’m betting our Trouble would win, purely because Dark!Trouble’s desire to live would be just slightly lessened by the weight of all the deeds he committed. I don’t think he’s truly cut out to be bad, so our Trouble would probably win... 

Truthfully, though, if we’re following the Justice League formula, I could see Trouble being the one dying to trigger the domino effect that leads to the Shepherds turning bad. Like the Flash (I’m pretty sure it was Wally West in JL), in a way, he’s one of the hearts of the Order that bridges them to the civilian population and vice-versa. If he were killed, I could see them falling into the path of darkness (with a lot of other factors involved, too).

Dark!Shery: we already know that Dark!Shery and Shery are one in the same, lol. I don’t think Dark!Shery would be so much like the bad Justice League; I think what would be dark about her would be her indifference, her total passive indifference to their quest for domination “for the greater good” and their thirst for revenge. Dark!Shery is more just personally angry, aggressive, loud, forceful, and selfish, but I don’t see any world where she sets out for power or world domination. If anything, I see Dark!Shery (in that AU) being petty and mean, ripping lollipops out of kids’ hands because she feels like it and not batting an eye at seeing a beggar collapse in the street. 

That’s not to say drunk Dark!Shery is like that, I’m just taking her badness to an extreme in an AU where all of the Shepherds are bad!

In a fight, Dark!Shery would absolutely win, lol. She doesn’t have any better combat abilities than our Shery, but her sheer rage would be terrifying and would lend her crazy strength, lol.

Dark!Tallys: Tallys, too, already walks the edge of the path to darkness a little bit, I think. Obviously she’s chosen the good side, but in a different world where a demon promised her revenge for her fallen family and an opportunity to burn the Autarchy down, I think the younger her would have taken it. In a dark!AU where Trouble was killed or something, I think she would be like, “okay, fuck it” and give in to that doubtful, vengeful side of herself and just go apeshit on the world. She would be one of the people spearheading the plan to take over the world. She’d give lip service and say she was doing it for the greater good, but another part of her would revel in the blood and chaos. It wouldn’t heal the wound in her heart, though, and would only make her even more twisted and angry. 

In a head-to-head first, I’m going to give it to our Tallys 60% of the time. Part of the thing that makes Tallys so effective in battle is her ability to sever herself from her emotions and maintain a cool head; she can detach herself from personal feelings and analyze combat with cold clarity. I feel like dark!Tallys would be easy to taunt into a rage, or she would let her hatred and thirst for blood cloud her mind, so I feel like our Tallys would have the advantage most of the time!

Dark!Riel: I say this in complete seriousness: in a world where Riel decided to turn evil or fall to the dark side, everybody is already fucked. He would absolutely be the most effective and terrifying villain out of the entire cast. He will rip, slash, and burn entire countries with the easy ruthlessness of an accountant making budget cuts. He knows a dozen ways to starve, lay siege to, and lead public campaigns against the enemy. He would be the scariest Autarch the world has ever seen. If you think he’s mean to his enemies like Ebert now, wait until he has no moral code holding him back...

It’s difficult to imagine a battle between Dark!Riel and our Riel, but I’m going to guess the utter dispassionate cruelty and lack of compassion in Dark!Riel would win 90% of the time. Our Riel has a little less edge than Dark!Riel, so for that reason, I think he would lose. And so would the world...

Dark!Chase: I feel like Dark!Chase is very similar to our Chase, just colder, more ruthless, and bloodthirstier. He’d take genuine pleasure in torturing and killing his enemies, and I think he would cut out the flirtatious aspect of his personality in favor of a crueler and more sadistic sense of humor. He would also probably be batshit insane, like, somewhere on the Joker’s level but not obnoxious; in fact, quieter and calmer and deadlier, like you could never really know what he was thinking. People would be afraid to look into his eyes. I think it would take a lot more to push him to that point than the others, though; but once he tipped over that cliff into darkness, there’d be no going back or remorse for him. He’d love to kill his enemies with a kiss and a smile.

In a fight between our Chase and Dark!Chase, I feel like it would be 50/50. Dark!Chase would be more reckless, unpredictable, and have even less of a fear of death than our Chase does; our Chase would have the edge in terms of strategy. So yeah, I think it would be 50/50!

Dark!Red: I can’t even imagine what Dark!Red would be like, lol. I just can’t imagine him being truly evil or ruthless without feeling guilty about it. I guess I could only imagine it if, like, he messed around with some spell and it robbed him of the ability to feel love or empathy?? But even then, I feel like he doesn’t have any inclination to go around conquering the world or hurting people. He mostly just wants to chill and read his books. I feel like he’d be the only one out of the group (besides probably Trouble if he’s not already dead) to be like uhhh guys what’s going on here, this isn’t like us?? He’d probably defect and lead a small underground rebel force with Pan and Neon. OMG and he’d be the one to figure out worldwalking and travel to our Blest to get our Shepherds to fight his because they’d be the only ones to stand a chance at taking down the evil versions of themselves!!! OMG!!! IT ALL FITS WTF. 

Dark!Ayla: I could see Ayla Hulking out and becoming full of rage, but it’s difficult for me to imagine her doing something like supporting the death of innocents or using dirty-handed maneuvers to conquer the land. She’s also among the most independent of the Shepherds, so I feel like she’d be the most vocal of their opposition... it’s realllly hard for me to imagine her casually killing anybody except for scumbags who hurt other people, like murderers and kidnappers. In a war between different political factions or a bid to conquer the world, I just don’t think she has it in her--no matter how angry and aggrieved she was at whatever turned the rest of the others bad.

I think she would either be on the good side, such as supporting Red’s rebels, or vocal enough among the bad guys to have been killed as a dissenter; she might not be around by the time our Shepherds made it to the dark dimension. But if she was, I’m pretty sure our Ayla would win against her 80% of the time. Our Ayla still has the courage of her convictions and the scrappy desire to survive no matter what; dark!Ayla probably wouldn’t. 

Dark!Halek: Also hard for me to imagine Halek turning truly evil; I feel like, if something bad were to happen to turn the rest of the Order bad, Halek would give himself more to grief instead of rage and revenge. He most likely would remove himself from the situation rather than try to take over the world; they would probably have to go hunting for him in the wilderness, kind of like when Luke was a hermit on that blue milk island in Star Wars (spoilers I guess?). I guess dark!Halek would be sort of tired and indifferent Halek, not able to go up against his old allies; our Shepherds might regard him as a coward, but he wouldn’t be evil like the others. 

Our Halek would definitely beat that Halek in a fight, but they’d probably have no reason to fight in the first place!

Dark!Briony: did any of you ever watch the Flashpoint Paradox (another DC movie about the Justice League--well, the Flash--finding out about a really evil parallel universe)? There’s a scene in it where Dark!Wonder Woman--Queen of the Amazonians and waging a war against Aquaman and the Atlanteans--like, beheads Aquaman’s wife Queen Mera and holds her head up to Aquaman like “fuck you”. I won’t link the gif because all of the violence in that movie is pretty gruesome, but that’s how I feel Dark!Briony would initially be. Super strong, running through the enemy army like a knife through paper, annihilating whole forces and landscapes with just her fists, and not giving a shit just how many people she’s killing. I feel like there’s already a tenuous grasp on her emotions in our Briony; beneath the happy-go-lucky, sweet exterior, she feels so much and loves so much that there’s also the ability for her to snap. It wouldn’t take that much (a few more Nathes) to unhinge her and decide to hurt the world as much as it has hurt her. I think she would sort of black out into an all-consuming, heartbroken suicide run where she just decided to do everything in her power to create as much destruction as possible, to somehow soothe the destruction in her heart. 

When that wouldn’t work, I think she would come back to her senses a little and start to slowly realize how fucked up and evil the things she’s doing (and the people around her) have become. It would be slower than someone like Ayla or Red, but gradually I think she would start to nurse a secret doubt in her heart, and if someone like Red was still around, he’d be able to convince her to start working for the good guys in secret, as their mole within the dark!Shepherds. However, I feel like cleverer minds like Blade, Lavinet, Chase and Riel would find her out, and she’d probably be executed for her treason.

In a fight against Dark!Briony and our Briony, I feel like it would depend on what stage of her development she’s at. If it’s still full rage mode, Dark!Briony probably wins like 80-90% of the time!

Dark!Lavinet: I could see Lavinet turning evil, but it’s sort of hard to imagine because she takes her duty to serve the people so seriously--it’s difficult to imagine what would need to happen to make her forget that, or to make her think she knows what’s best for them, even if that means doing bad things. It would already be so easy for her to do that in our world that she’s very conscious of it, so it would take a lot for her to fall into darkness. However, it’s still possible, and I could totally see her agreeing to be installed as a figurehead Autarch in order to maintain order and peace, slowly becoming more callous and ruthless over time. She would totally execute the old guard loyal to the previous Autarch and make their heads roll publicly to instill fear and respect for her reign. She does have that streak of ruthlessness in her; in our world, it’s reserved only for her enemies, but in that world, she’d slowly start to view everyone as her enemy--even past friends!

In a fight between Dark!Lavinet and our Lavinet, I would guess that our Lavinet would win 90% of the time. In that AU, I feel like Dark!Lavinet would let others do the fighting for her, and she would get used to ruling and being behind the front lines; in a way, she’d lose her fighting edge, something our Lavinet still has in spades. So in a direct combat situation, I think our Lavinet would win! In a game of wits and politics, I’m not sure--I would give that one 60-40 in favor of Dark!Lavinet!

[thorns-and-rosewings]

Additional Owl House/ Gargoyles AU Info: OCs

Here we are with some more information regarding the AU, only this will time it will be focusing on the 3 OCs whose pics I posted a little while ago since I didn't think anyone wanted the bios jammed onto their pics.

Hope y'all think these are interesting. :)

-----Rhiannon Frostflame

Nicknames and Aliases: Rhyan or Rhya (Default nicknames) The Wyvern Witch, Ice Queen, The Best Healer on the Isles, Cruel and Fearless, Frozen Flame

Age: Roughly the same as Eda

Palisman: A Wyvern named Wisteria

Magic Specialty: Healing Magic, but is a master of Ice Magic and has created a unique spell of burning blue fire that inflicts awful frostbite and severe necrosis on anyone it comes into contact with...

Friends/Associates: Eda Clawthorne (Best friend and drinking buddy) Raine Whispers (A close friend who in spite of falling out of contact with, Rhiannon still holds them in high regards) Shaelyn Silverstone (Apprentice and Ward) Warden Wrath (Occasional Employer) Fiadh Stonespire (Grandmother figure/deceased)

Background: Rhiannon was born into one of the larger clans of the last name 'Stonespire' that still chose to follow the Gargoyle Way of communally raising their children and protecting their estate and other landholdings. They were also extremely prideful of their skilled members they contributed to the Construction Coven. From a young age, Rhiannon was considered strange due to her shunning of the clans expectations and rather developed an interest in becoming a member of the Healing Coven. Although in her youth she was particularly bad at anything involving healing, having turned several small animals inside out in her attempts to mend their injuries. Her lack of skill and stubborn pursuit of her dreams led her to be alienated from nearly all of the clan who began to treat her as an annoyance if not an embarrassment. The only individuals who showed her any affection were an older female Gargoyle named Fiadh, who Rhiannon viewed as her grandmother and Saoirse, the only rookery sister who cared about her and supported her goals.

Her fierce dedication to studying and mastering healing magics eventually paid off and she not only excelled, but grew to master every healing spell and even learned a myriad of techniques all aimed at helping others. Of course on the flip side of this, through her studies of how to heal she also learned how to inflict immense pain on others. Knowing to attack certain points where an opponent is weak in order to defeat them in a brawl, as it seemed to Rhiannon that most witches and demons had forgotten how to fight without using magic and thus a physical fight is something she can use to her advantage... And she got into fights A LOT.

When she finished her education and applied to the Healing Coven she found that she was denied membership due to her clan contacting the head of the Coven and warning him against letting her join due to her poor skills as a healer... As they had not paid attention to her enough to know of her improvement and eventual mastery of the art.

Denied her dream, humiliated by her so called clan and filled with an anger that could not be put into words, Rhiannon lost her temper and broke the jaw of the Coven Head and fled. Stating she was now going to live her life as a Wild Witch and never give a damn about anyone else ever again. She was promptly disowned by her clan, which was fine with her. She gave herself the last name of Frostflame after the spell she had created and has become synonymous with her very existence.

Personality: Rhiannon is a bit of a contradiction. At first she comes off as cold, calculating and selfish. She is extremely sarcastic and tends to believe that someone 'Can get away with anything, as long as they are useful to someone else.' Which is how she, as a Wild Witch, doesn't have a bounty on her head nor any warrents for her arrest. As she is a freelance healer whom people come to see when they either can't afford to go to the Healing Coven, or do not want there to be a record of the visit... But also members of both the Emperor's Coven and town guards bet on her in the underground fights and thus overlook that she is not in any coven... She is also not above blackmail and is currently holding a massive gambling debt over the head of Coven Head Darius. As further insurance to keep from being arrested or have the Covens forcing her to join.

However... If someone truly gets to know her, Rhiannon is a very devoted, kind hearted person who has been so burnt by the world she no longer desires to be a part of it. She has sympathy for those less fortunate than her and does genuinely wish to help the people who seek her out in need of help. She has an special soft spot in her heart for kids. Especially since in the depths of her ice cold heart she truly longs for a family. This is somewhat evident in how she took in Shaelyn and has done her best to watch out for the younger gargoyle. However her own bias's can be detrimental to the relationships she has... As she has repeatedly told Shaelyn to forget about finding out what happened to her family and missing memories. Arguing that if she forgot them there's probably a good reason for it. Which has led to a rift between her and her apprentice.

-----Shaelyn Silverstone

Nicknames and Aliases: Shae, (Default Nickname) Lyn-Lyn (From Luz)

Age: Roughly 15

Palisman: None at the moment

Magic Specialty: Is attending both the Plant track and the Oracle track in Hexside. As she has unusual visions... both while she is awake and in her sleep. These visions often warn of dark events yet to happen or strange unknown things from a past she cannot remember. While not being taught healing at Hexside, Shaelyn is receiving training in healing magics straight from her guardian Rhiannon. Due to the talent of her mentor, she doesn't believe she could learn more from the school in that subject. As for the plant track... She is in that to both hang out with her friend Willow but also to help with Rhiannons garden which tends to grow out of control more often than not. As well as helping maintain the health of the tree Rhiannon's house is currently sitting in...

Friends/Associates: Willow Park, Gus Porter and Luz Noceda (Best Friends) Rhiannon (Guardian)

Background: Little is known about Shaelyns past beyond her name. Try as she might the young Gargoyle cannot remember much of her life prior to her being found in the wrecked hull of a ship that was brought ashore by a bad storm. While she has 'Shadows of Memories' she cannot remember where exactly she was from or even the faces of her parents. Rhiannon found the girl when she was looking through the wreck and happened upon her buried underneath several heavy cargo boxes with a broken wing and a very bloody head wound. Rhiannon took her back to her home, deep in the woods and healed her. Upon realizing that the girl had no family and no memories and that she would be left in probably one of the orphanages on the Isles, Rhiannon took her in as her apprentice and Shae has been living with her for the last five years.

Although Shaelyn is in awe of her mentor and greatly admires and respects her, she often feels like a burden. Their relationship is not like that of a mother and daughter, but is probably closer to that of sisters. Or of an older sister attempting to be a mother to a younger sibling in the absence of any parents... Shae also has gone through several different means to try and find out what happened to her family... but her search has led to nothing but dead ends. It doesn't help that Rhiannon often tells her to let the subject of her family drop as she would not have forgotten them if they were close... And how she might not like what she finds if she ever does find anything.

Nonetheless, Rhiannon has done her best to take care of Shae and has enrolled her at Hexside, so she can learn other magics that Rhiannon cannot teach. It was here that Shaelyn came across the sight of Amity and Boscha bullying Willow... And using the other skills Rhyan has taught her, Shae started throwing punches and beat up both of the bullies and warned them to leave Willow alone lest they receive another beating... This was how she initially met Willow and later on Gus and the three formed a very close friendship. Some time later Luz would be introduced and Shae grows to be just as protective of her as she is of her other two friends.

Personality: Shaelyn is quite friendly and outgoing with her friends and is the first one to come to the defense of a kid that is getting bullied. Due to her training with Rhiannon she is actually pretty good at fighting physically... Unfortunately in earlier times this put Shae into direct conflict with Amity as she was often quite mean to Willow... Unaware of Amity's true nature, let alone the bullying she received from her family. Like her mentor, Shae can hold a grudge and has a long memory of people who wrong her and her friends... Only unlike Rhiannon she is more willing to give someone a second chance or allow them to make amends... This lets her and Amity to eventually become friends... Although she and Boscha will never get along and Shae will continue to administer black eyes whenever the other girl starts looking for a fight. But when it comes to complete strangers, Shaelyn can be very wary... As was evident when she and the others were looking at booths set up by the Covens for recruitment and she was approached by Hunter as the Golden Guard. Now Hunter, with his very lackluster social skills was attempting to just talk nicely and give Shae a few compliments... Unfortunately for him he came off as aloof and mocking her. This resulted in two punches to his helm and three into his ribs. The blows to the mask dented it so badly it became stuck and the blows to his ribs made it difficult to breathe... Resulting in him passing out and needing to be carried away by Steve.

Undoubtedly when she learns more about Hunter, she will be remorseful for kicking his ass.

-----Saoirse Fireglass

Nicknames: Saer (General Nickname) The Glass Maker, The Crystal Witch, Firebender and Wannabe-Matchmaker (From Rhiannon)

Age: Same as Rhiannon

Palisman: A unique serpent with four eyes and a golden moth shaped hood named Amaranth

Magic Specialty: Construction magic with the specialty of glassmaking and crystal working. She is also capable of using fire spells in a fight.

Friends/Associates: Rhiannon (Rookery sister and best friend) Eda Clawthorne (Friend) Lilith Clawthorne (Friend) Shaelyn (Niece-figure)

Background: Saoirse was born into the same clan and was even from the same clutch as Rhiannon, born with the family name of Stonespire. However unlike her Rookery sister, Saoirse was considered to be one of the most magically gifted gargoyles that had ever been born into the clan. She displayed immense talent in the construction track and was even able to master a very difficult branch of the track that dealt with glassmaking and crystal working. In spite of the heaps of praise and accolades she received amidst her family, she developed a close friendship with Rhyan and was always deeply off-put when she witnessed how she was ostracized by other members of their clan. Still upon completing her schooling she was quickly brought into the Construction Coven and was even taken under the wing of the Coven Head for a time.

But when Rhiannon was cast out from their clan, Saoirse was livid. One of the few times anyone could truly remember her getting angry. She was pretty much told by the clan leader that Rhiannon was a disgrace and that Saer was always special and brought a great deal of respect and admiration to their entire clan with her talent... so she needed to stop defending that lost soul and continue to move forward and possibly become the next Coven Head...

Saoirse formally cut ties with the clan right then and there.

She gave herself a new name and while still formally a member of the Construction Coven, she chose to renounce any Coven status she had an instead opened her own business. She did so with the blessing of the Coven Head, who remains her good friend to this day.

When it comes to her wayward Rookery sister, Saer deeply worries about Rhyan and would love to see her find a place in the world rather than trying to live outside it. Although she knows that the stubborn Wild Witch is unlikely to ever change her ways without reason...

Personality: Unlike Rhiannon, Saer is a bubbly, friendly and outgoing individual who always looks for the good in people... In fact she is probably one of the few people who believes there just might be some good inside the Emperor's heart. (When she voiced this Rhiannon laughed so hard she swallowed the cigarette she was smoking.) Due to this kind nature she has, Rhyan frequently worries about her being taken advantage of... Fortunately Saoirse also is quick witted and can pretty quickly tell if someone is trying to pull a fast one on her. She also has a weird gift for matchmaking, as she can just tell when two people are right for each other. It's something that Rhiannon frequently teases her about.

...Until she finds one stranger who seems to be just perfect for the Wild Witch...

[stargaze-issei]

— "𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤 𝐭𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮" (𝐭. 𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐭𝐨 𝐱 𝐟𝐞𝐦!𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫)

𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐭; after losing you, todoroki moves on with his life. you know you never stopped loving him, and he's desperately wants you back. but life has a funny way to do things.

𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞; angst.

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬; none.

𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭; 1.8k

𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫'𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞; this is a continuation from this ficlet, so probably there are a few things you won't understand if you haven't read it. anyways, enjoy.

you had moved on, and to say it had been hard was an understatement. you absolutely believed todoroki was your soulmate, but when you found out what he did, it simply devastated you. even thinking of him made your heart ache. you knew you made the right choice, getting out of every shared space you two had, distancing from everything that reminded you of him. transferring to shiketsu was by far the best way. of course, you had to leave all your friends, but they would always be one call away.

for todoroki it was the other way around. no matter how hard he tried, everything had a piece of you in it. his room was full of memories with you, all the times you fell asleep on his bed, your study sessions that always ended up in something more, you dancing and singing to mamma mia's soundtrack. he ended up staying at midoriya's most days, but even then, he would think about you. it was his default mode, somehow, his mind always went back to you.

he shut down completely after seeing you with yoarashi, no one could make him talk about his beloved or his feelings. he started to go to the gym more often, train alone in the woods at night. he barely slept, and as soon as he woke up, he'd start exercising. he was so tired that he didn't think of you. that was his way of moving on, though in every sense of the word, he never actually did.

*.✧☆ﾟ.*･｡✧*⊰⊹ฺ

focusing all his life in becoming a hero, he came first of the class with a big gap. at his twenties, he opened his own hero agency. since your break up, he never had another partner, too afraid that no one could be like you, make him feel what you did.

in your case, after graduating you went to work with mirko. everyone knew you being her sidekick. it wasn't weird to hear about your ex boyfriend on the news, he had achieve all his goals in life, and that made you happy. you no longer held any remorse against him. he was a good person who made a mistake, of course you had forgiven him.

"so, [hero name], you've been going up in the charts like a rocket, could you be thinking about starting your own agency? some heroes, like shoto, are already making their way through the industry" the interviewer asked you. for the first time since highschool, someone asked you about todoroki as a hero.

"i love working with mirko, she's amazing and i think i still have a lot to learn from her. i do admire heroes like shoto, he's undeniably good at what he does, but i think is still too soon for me" you smiled when you mentioned him. even after all those years, when todoroki watched that interview, he caught on those little details. it felt good hear you saying his name again.

*.✧☆ﾟ.*･｡✧*⊰⊹ฺ

it's confirmed! pro hero y/n and yoarashi inasa are getting married! the rumors were confirmed by a picture posted on their social media accounts showing their engagement rings and captioning "she said yes/he finally asked". we are w–.

to todoroki, it was extra hard that you were marrying you highscool boyfriend. he couldn't stop thinking, if he hadn't messed up, you would be marrying him. an hour later, midoriya called.

"how are you?" even though izuku was trying to not be obvious, shoto knew what he meant.

"in another timeline, y/n and i would be getting married".

*.✧☆ﾟ.*･｡✧*⊰⊹

todoroki finally met someone, you heard on the gossip chanel. great, that was great, he deserved to feel the happiness you felt with inasa, right? of course he did. he was an amazing boyfriend, any person would be lucky to have him, you were happy for him. that was what that knot in your throat was, that sudden urge to cry. come on, you couldn't be so selfish, you were getting married with another man, you broke up five years ago, why were you so upset?. it's not that you dreamed about him at least twice a week, or that you heard his voice clear as water even when you hadn't spoke in so long. you love inasa, stop having those thoughts. you decided with whom you'd be spending your life with years ago, it was about time todoroki moved on too.

"...and i didn't know what to say, but he was so persistent. anyways, i told him we were going to discuss it, what do you think?" your fiance's hand was moving in front of your eyes, trying to catch your attention back.

"can you repeat it, please? i-i got distracted" he smiled at you, kindly. he always did that. no matter what you did, inasa was the kindest person to you, because he genuinely loved you.

"one of my advisors gave me a list with all the pro heros we had to invite to the wedding, i told him we'll talk about it" he pulled out a paper from his briefcase with a lot of names printed on it "give it a look while i take a shower" he got up, kissing your head on his way to the bathroom. most of the names were your old classmates from u.a. and shiketsu, some of your teachers and heroes of the moment.

ground zero, red riot, creati, charge bolt, shoto, cellophane, deku, froppy[...].

you stared at his name for longer than you thought, because inasa came out of the bathroom only with a towel, asking your opinion on the matter. he knew you dated todoroki back in highschool, but obviously didn't think you had feelings for him now. because you didn't. you didn't, you couldn't.

"yeah, okay, let's invite them".

*.✧☆ﾟ.*･｡✧*⊰⊹ฺ

todoroki's jaw almost hit the floor when the invitation arrived at his mailbox. his girlfriend, a model he met at an event, laughed at his reaction. were you actually asking him to go to your wedding? it seemed like a cruel joke to him. the cruelest of jokes.

"isn't she one of your classmates from u.a., baby?" his girlfriend asked, taking the paper out of his hands. he never talked about you, with anyone, not even with midoriya. your chapter had been closed by force, locking all your memories away. but that lock was always on the verge of breaking, something as small as saying your name could unleash his buried feelings.

he was so confused. his irrational side was screaming to accept the invitation, eager to face you again. but he knew it would hurt him. he knew it, if he thought about it enough, he still remembered how his heart break years ago. his mind kept wondering back to you, how beautiful you would look in your white dress, your eyes filled with excitement. it was too much for him to handle.

"yes, i will let them know we're going".

*.✧☆ﾟ.*･｡✧*⊰⊹ฺ

somewhere in yourself, you wished todoroki hadn't replied. in that same place, it hurt to see the "plus one" option marked. right, he had a girlfriend. a girlfriend he most likely cherished, in some level at least. it was okay, you had a boyfriend, a boyfriend you were going to marry in two months. both of you had moved on. maybe repeating that to yourself would convince you.

*.✧☆ﾟ.*･｡✧*⊰⊹ฺ

he got up that morning and went for a jog, like when he was a teenager trying to get off his mind the girl who broke his heart. we could say he was trying to do the same thing.

the only reason you got up in time was because uraraka knocked on your door. inasa had gone to a friend's house at night, arguing he wasn't going to see the bride before the wedding. if it was supposed to be the happiest day of your life, then what is that pain in your chest?.

"you have to hurry, the ceremony starts at four,  we're meeting midoriya at three and you haven't even showered!" todoroki practically was forced into the shower by the girl, he had no will to get himself ready. what was he thinking? he clearly loved you, as much as always, why did he agree to see you marrying someone else?.

everything was ready, just as planned. like in the movies, you were expecting some sort of crisis to happen and could cancel the wedding with an excuse, but it wasn't the case. things were perfect. your hair, your dress, your make up, even the guests arrived just on time. you felt like puking.

not a single thing was out of place, that was certainly planned by you. he could see your unique touch in decorations, colors, even how tables were distributed. and he could point at everything yoarashi had done, because it didn't match at all. it was like a stain in your perfect design, a stain he couldn't remove or avoid anywhere he looked.

uraraka had to grab your arm when the music started to play, and push you out to the aisle. inasa was waiting on the other side. he looked so beautiful and happy, his eyes overflowed with love. but your eyes got lost in the crowd, searching for a certain pair of heterochromatic eyes.

you were like an angel fell from heaven. todoroki expected you to look pretty, but it was mind blowing. he was standing next to a pillar in order to get a perfect view from you. he felt his legs weakened when your eyes connected.

"do you, yoarashi inasa, take this woman to be your wife, to have and to hold[...]?" you couldn't see todoroki from the altar, and it was unbearable. all you wanted was to look back into his eyes again.

"yes, i do" inasa's voice was so determined, that you realized what was happening. before you knew, the priest was saying your vows.

he couldn't watch. he tried, but just couldn't. when he said the priest saying your name, he had to turned around.

you were sure that with one look, you'd knew if shoto still loved you. that was all you needed to go back to him, to see his eyes.

"[...] till death do you apart?" it was now or never. you turned your head, heart beating like a drum. please, please, love me.

oh how much he loved you. as you once said, his undying love for you was so big, that's tearing him apart. a single tear left his eye.

he wasn't even looking. he didn't love you anymore. a lonely tear ran down your cheek. you were too late, you had lost him. "yes, i do".

he had lost you, again. 

[aperrywilliams]

The Request - Part I (Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader)

(Not my gif!)

Masterlist

Part I / Part II

———————

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader.

Summary: Reader is the Spencer’s best friend and although she has some doubts she'll ask him to do something big for her.

Word Count: 3238.

Warnings: Curses. Maybe the main subject could be awkward for some people. Angst mixed with other things.

A/N: I had this idea but I don´t know if could be enough for a part 2. Impressions, comments and any reaction are welcomed. Thanks for reading!

——————–

A new Monday. As always, I arrived to work 20 minutes before the usual check-in time. That gave me enough time to make my coffee and (Y/N)’s who should be arriving soon.

But time passed and there were no signs of (Y/N). That was odd. Maybe she faced a huge traffic jam. I was about to call her when I saw the elevator doors open, showing the (Y/N)’s figure. I breathed a sigh of relief at the sight of her. She was okay. At least I thought so.

When she passed through the glass doors I noticed her expression and concern returned to my me. Watery eyes, she walked with difficulty and dropped shoulders, as if she had a great weight on her body. Without a word she slumped into the chair next to her desk. Which was strategically next to mine.

She stared at the folders on her desk for several minutes almost without blinking. She hadn't even taken off her jacket and still had the purse on her lap. (Y/N) was clearly not okay.

“(Y/N)… are you ok?”. I asked. I couldn’t help but showed my concern about her. Hearing my voice, she realized that she was not alone and hastened to say something, trying to hide what was happening to her with a fake smile.

“Hey… Spencer. I’m sorry. I didn’t greet you…”. But I knew. Her voice was almost inaudible and it sounded cracked to me.

“It’s ok. You don´t need to. But… are you ok?." I asked again. She let out a heavy sigh.

“No. I’m not” she confessed. I got up from my chair and approaches to her.

“What’s wrong? You can tell me…” I said with the hope she could trust me enough and tell me what happened.

“I don´t want to. It´s so embarrassing and hurting. I don’t know how even I managed to get my ass here”. (Y/N) shook her head avoiding my gaze that was fixed on her.

“Please, maybe I can help”. She looked at me with her puffy eyes and a soft smile. For me were the most beautiful eyes on Earth even if they had been crying a river.

“Not here. Can we get a coffee in the cafeteria of first floor?. I don't want anyone on the team to see me like this”. She looked everywhere making sure that no one was looking at us.

“Of course. Come on”. I grabbed my blazer and phone and joined to (Y/N) towards the elevator.

With our coffees, we go out of the building to an interior patio. We sit down on a bench. (Y/N) took a sip of her coffee and started talking.

"Spencer, I broke up with Darren last night." Her expression was a combination of sadness, anger and defeat. It broke my heart to see her like this.

"(Y/N)... I didn’t know. I’m so sorry. But why? What happened?”.

"This is the part that I'm ashamed of ...". Her hands was trembling and I could see how new tears formed in her eyes and were rushing out. I just took her free hand and squeeze it gently to try to comfort her. She looked up at the ceiling trying to hold back the tears and then kept talking.

“The son of a bitch was cheating on me! And the worst part... is that I only knew it because yesterday morning his other ‘girlfriend’ appeared at the door of 'our' apartment saying she was pregnant with his child.” At this point (Y/N) started to cry wildly.

Oh God . This was worse than I thought. It was like a bad movie. Very bad movie.

"What?" I tried to hide my face of shock, but it was difficult. It really was like a bad joke. Although I'm not going to lie, it always seemed to me that Darren was an asshole and didn't deserve to be with (Y/N), but it wasn't my decision and if he made her happy, that was enough for me. Also they were together for a long time almost as long as the time I had been working with (Y/N).

"I know. How I didn’t realize before?. Spencer, I was so silly. I’m a profiler and my boyfriend has been cheating on me systematically for so long! And the bastard got another woman pregnant!”. The sobs had subsided. Now anger and resentment dominated her voice. I didn’t expect less from (Y/N). If I could have smacked him myself at that moment I would have done it gladly.

"I'm so sorry (Y/N). You don't deserve to be going through this." I opened my arms and wrapped her in an embrace. I hoped that would help in part. At least so she knew she wasn't alone in this.

"I don't know Spencer. I’m so confused. I really thought things were fine…”. (Y/N)' sobs returned, but now they were muffled in my chest. I wish I could have done more.

(Y/N) returned to the BAU feeling a little better after a few weeks of leave that Hotch granted her without asking too much questions. During this time away from work I made sure to visit or call her every day to check on how she was feeling. When I visited her, we talked a lot, drank coffee, watched movies or went out for walk. I think I did a good job as a best friend, making her focus, at least in those moments, on something other than her breakup.

I must admit my selfish being felt some happiness knowing that (Y/N) was no longer with Darren. Although the remorseful side of me felt bad about it. They were conflicting feelings to me. I didn’t like to see (Y/N) hurt for her breakup, but I could not bear to see her with someone who didn’t love her as the great woman she is.

The day she returned to work the first thing she did was hug me tight and thank me for being there for her. Though honestly I couldn’t imagine myself doing something other than what I did.

Months passed, but (Y/N) was never the same. I don't blame her. Surely she thought was going to marry Darren. Before what happened, (Y/N) always was showing her happy spirit to everyone. And it was contagious. She constantly was in a good mood, even making Hotch laugh. Now she looked silent, withdrawn. During the flights it was more frequent to see her in the furthest jet' seat reading or deep in thought instead of playing poker with the rest of the team.

On one of those flights, I sat next to her. When (Y/N) saw me, closed the book she was reading and looked at me with a smile. At least I had open access to (Y/N)'s smiles, and that soothed me, although I knew there was an internal struggle in her head beyond all the things she had entrusted to me before. I didn't know what it was, but it sure kept her uneasy.

"You missed poker," I said smiling.

"I didn't feel like losing today," she replied, resting her head on my shoulder.

“Me neither, and JJ ended up winning. I'm disappointed in myself”. I tried to joke.

"Yes, that speaks very badly of you Dr. Spencer 'Vegas' Reid." She let out a genuine laugh that filled my heart. For a second I felt the old (Y/N) reappear. But as soon as she let out that laugh, that was how quickly it disappeared, giving way to a deep sigh.

"What is it? Where does that sigh come from?" I dared to ask her. After a brief second, she replied.

"I'm tired. This case was hard,” she said. I took her hand and started stroking it with my thumb.

"Yes I know. But I think there is something else that bothers you besides the case itself.” She raised her head to look at me and smiled again.

"I have to rehearse my poker faces with you, apparently," she said with a frown .

"Or you could just tell me what's going on" I replied stroking her hand without releasing it.

"True. I could...”

"You should. We are friends, aren't we?”. That reason works 99% of the time with her. She nodded. After a few minutes in silence, she broke it.

"There's something I haven't told you about this whole situation with Darren... and that's what has kept me thinking for a while..." She paused her story for a few seconds. Possibly she was thinking how to find the right words. "For a time with Darren we were trying to have children..."

I couldn't say I was completely surprised. (Y/N) was in a relationship with her boyfriend for almost 4 years. It was reasonable to think they were ready to start a family at some point. I didn't like the image my mind was picturing, but it was something to be expected.

“And well, at some point we realized maybe there was a problem. But we didn't want to delve into that and time passed. After what happened, I kept thinking… if he did it with another woman, maybe I was the one with the problem…”. (Y/N) paused a little to examine my face.

"Are you blaming yourself for not getting pregnant ?" I asked her.

"Yes. I did. But as good Dr. Reid always says, 'Look for the evidence first.' And that's what I did next . A while ago I went to the doctor and had many tests. And... yes, the big conclusion is I’m the problem... it is very likely that I can never have children by my own, Spencer." I could see how (Y/N) bit her lower lip to avoid showing the wave of feelings that were surely stuck in her chest at that time.

"(Y/N)... how can you be so sure of that ...? Maybe if you talk to another doctor...". She put one finger from her free hand to my lips to stop me from speaking.

"Spencer, it's okay. You don't have to say or do anything. I'm telling you so that you know I trust you and that I'll be fine. I just have to get used to the idea…”. It was obvious she had been thinking about this subject for a long time, because she managed to contain herself and be strong. I raised her hand taken with mine and brought it to my lips to stamp a warm kiss.

"You know you can count on me for anything, right?. Whatever, what you need. If you want a second opinion, I can help you find one. Or if you just want to talk about this…”. I said outlining a smile and looking directly into her eyes so she knew my words were true. I didn't know what else to offer that could help her. Sure she felt overwhelmed. (Y/N) nodded and a "thank you" came from her lips before resting her head on my shoulder again.

It was hard not to think all the times in the past few years when I might have noticed signs of (Y/N)'s intentions. Some things made sense to me. Sometimes we joked about a faraway future. Most of the time she hinted a wish of having a big family, a house, and a dog. I wanted it too, and I always told her I was sure she would get it before me.

Weeks passed and in our conversations with (Y/N) the subject didn’t return. A couple of times I tried to ask her how she felt about it, but she just shrugged, told me she was accepting it, and then changed the subject. So I chose to drop it and trust when she was ready to speak, she would.

One morning arriving at the BAU after a case and before going to our respective places to sleep, (Y/N) approached me and asked me to go at her apartment for dinner at night. I stared at her with intriguing eyes. Seeing my face, she hastened to explain.

“I wish we could talk, but now we both need to sleep. Today at 8:00 works for you?”. I nodded accepting the invitation. Maybe she was ready to talk.

When she opened the door greeted me with a smile, but I could immediately perceive some nervousness in her. I couldn't tell the reason. I also didn't want to ask, yet. We sat down to eat and  with (Y/N) only talked about trivial things: the last case, about the book she was reading, that she talked to her mother that afternoon, that the car was faulty and she had to send it to repair. I kept noticing the anxiety and the times I glanced at her, she tried to avoid prolonged eye contact with me.

We were drinking the post dinner coffee and I couldn't stand the insecurity anymore. I had to ask what was going on.

"I don't think you asked me to dinner just to talk about these things ..." She shook her head and settled into the chair to try to calm her nerves, which were already evident by now.

"It’s true. There is something 'less trivial' I want to talk to you about,” she confessed before taking another sip of her coffee.

"Well. I'm all ears. You can tell me. You know you can tell me anything and trust me, right?"

"I know. And I really appreciate it. I couldn't be discussing this with anyone else." She paused for a few moments, rested her hands on the table, intertwining her fingers . "Okay. Do you remember I told you about I was trying to get pregnant when I was with Darren, about my suspicions, and my visits to the doctor?”

“Yes, I remember. You never wanted to talk about that again."

"Yes. I was trying to get used to the idea. But, I don't know, I didn't want to quit yet. Although I don’t like to keep false hopes. The thing is, I listened to you and asked for a second opinion. I got new tests and the results are similar to the first time... only they opened up a little hope for me.” (Y/N)’s eyes lit up as she said it.

"That is good news, isn't it? What did they tell you?" I was quick to ask.

"I have a chance if I try artificial insemination. Now we both know what the odds mean… they are not certainties…”

“I know… it's still good news, isn't it? Are you going to try?”

"Yes. I want to do it” she said with determination.

"And what is coming now?" It wasn’t an easy question. (Y/N) was not in a relationship right now.

"Now I have to get a sperm donor. It could be an anonymous donor since I currently have no partner…”

"I understand and yeah, and anonymous donor is an option if you don't want to wait for a partner… ”

"Yes. I would have liked that. But by now it's not possible… and I don't want to wait to know if it will work or not…”

"I get it. So… you want to try it now.”

"Yes. But... my first choice is not an anonymous donor,” she said suddenly. I looked at her curiously. Could it be she already has a new boyfriend and is what she wants to tell me?

"No?, what is your first option?"

"You". She said fixing her eyes on me.

I felt like I was short of breath and had trouble swallowing. Was what I was hearing true? Above all the scenarios I had pictured in my mind in those last minutes, this was the least plausible to me.

"Me?"

"Yes. I know it is unexpected and it may seem strange to you, but believe me I thought a lot about it. And I want do this with someone who understands my situation and who I can trust. I don't know... an anonymous donor complicates me and I know that would be the most reasonable thing... but... I can’t. Doctor told me the odds could improve if the potential donor could accept taking some studies and eventually follow a treatment. Spencer, I’m so sorry, I'm pushing you to a difficult situation…”

My feelings conflicted at the time . She wanted me to be her donor. But would that change things between us?. She was asking me for a favor as a friend. What if it work out? Eventually (Y/N) would have a child of mine... where was I in this equation? I held my head in both hands. It was too much to process.

"Yes... I mean, I understand what you are saying. It makes sense, but if everything works out… we'll have a child…”

Doesn't she see the consequences of that?

“If it work out, you have no any obligation Spencer. I only…"

"Yeah, you only need my sperm. I get it…". I got up from my chair and started pacing around the room. My head was running 1000 revolutions per second.

"I don't want this to sound like I'm using you. Sorry. You don't have to accept. Just forget what I said, ok?”

"Why me? Is it just because we are friends?" Surely that last question was not entirely expected, because her face winced.

“Spencer, is everything. Because we are friends, because I couldn’t trust another person as I do with you, because you understand my situation. Because... because you are a wonderful person..."

"You know my genes might not be that wonderful..." I said with a bitter smile.

"Spencer... that's not what I mean, you know that...".

"Would you let me be a part of their life...?".

"Only if you want…". Her watery eyes told me it was true. That there was no bad intention on her part.

"This will make our friendship change, you know that, right?"

"Yes. I know. But it doesn't have to be a bad thing… besides… they are probabilities, right? ”. I nodded. I slowly approached her, taking her chin and lifting her face to me. When she finally looked at me, I started to dry her tears with my thumbs.

“Do you remember I told you that you could count on me for anything? I meant it. Even if you only want my sperm now,” I said smiling at her. That made her laugh a little. She got up from the chair and hugged me tight.

"Thanks... thank you so much!" (Y/N) said as she buried her face in my chest. Her tears were now of joy.

I could only close my eyes and hold her tight against my body. I knew this could be a huge mistake, but (Y/N) deserved a chance and if she believed that I could help her, I was not going to refuse despite all my apprehensions. Although it could mean a future torture just thinking we could have something so intimate in common and still be just friends. Even there were chances it would not work, for me the line between us had crossed.

Would it be possible to go further in the future? Could (Y/N) ever see me with different eyes? With the eyes with which I looked at her every day? Could I allow me to feed that little hope? I expected the future might one day be on my side. I allowed myself to have that wish. Time would tell whether or not I was right accepting her request.

——————–

[hybbat]

Still not over episode 42 and how good and also kinda refreshing it was.

Like Daruizen very clearly has one of those designs and prominence among his fellow generals that instantly from the first opening seems to indicate he’ll be That villain that gets redeemed and switches sides and soft-shipped with the main cure or at the very least is revealed to be tragic and redeemed in death as another victim of the villain, but nah.

He doesn’t, and was never going to. If he ever was in some draft of the show they scrapped due to COVID like some folks seem adamant on believing it’s only the result imo of the writers getting a chance to sit down and think “but could he realistically be redeemed without it being just an expected story beat?” and the answer being no.

In fact in hindsight he’s the worst of the generals. Guaiwaru had ambitions to become the new king of the byo-gens and run things his way so it makes sense what he’s doing. Shindoine is genuinely in love with king byo-gen and his biggest enabler so it makes sense what she’s doing. Daruizen? He’s there because why not. He has the least motivation of all the villains, in a way is the most shallow because despite his desire to remain sapient he only uses it to do exactly what he would do otherwise, just with the knowledge that it’s his choice to do so. Daruizen’s motivation is essentially he wants to make sure his evil acts are completely willing on his part.

All three generals this seasons ended up actually getting evenly fleshed out despite people’s focus on Daruizen simply because his story was more directly tied to Cure Grace, actually, and all three represent very toxic people. Guaiwaru is your classic ambition villain who wants to be the leader but is just not cut out for it and ends up being a bad boss, even int he eyes of the villains, and no idea on how to actually lead as he basically just keeps doing what he did before but more because he’s more powerful. He isn’t even that effective as the girls have no trouble once they actually can confront him. Shindoine is obviously a toxic enabler who supports an evil person’s actions and is ok with being used, and clearly expects others to be okay with doing the same.

Daruizen is literally just a leech. He barely does anything, he only does his work when he feels like it, and is generally just a horrible person. Daruizen, if he were a real person, would be the kind of person who introduces himself with his IQ score and talk about how he’s a “realist” and misanthropist, especially with the way he talks to Grace. The only thing that excites him is in fact being a dick and he liked the cures and Cure Grace in particular specifically because he could get under their skin and demean them. He’s someone who only ever contributes negatively and tries to beat other people down because he’s miserable and the only thing that makes him happy is making other people feel as miserable as him.

And he never once shows remorse or willingness to change, right up to the end where he gaslights Grace to make her think she’s selfish for being scared of him and not wanting to help him after everything he’s done. Throughout the whole show she constantly asks him “why are you doing this?” and his answer NEVER changes, and he even starts to get angry that she doesn’t see why but he can’t really give a real answer other than “it’s what I do/why not?” Finding out he was born from Grace’s illness and the pain he caused her never once makes him paused, the only emotion he seems to show is happiness that he caused her so much trauma.

The ONLY regret he ever expresses is when he realizes his behaviour and decisions have screwed him over. He finally gets a taste of his own pessimism and hatred in the people he deemed worthy of his company due to sharing those traits- whom he also frequently treated as lesser for not being as smart as him and having their own personal ambitions they put effort into- when they showed their willingness to treat him exactly the same way they’ve treated everyone else. Basically, he realized he isn’t an exception or special in any way, he’s just another general.

He never expresses regret for his actions or his thinking in any other way other than it bit him in the butt, and even then he doesn’t let go of them. He just wants to hide away at the expense of someone else without any sacrifice on his own part, until his problem goes away. When he doesn’t get his way he literally throws a temper tantrum and tries to beat up Grace while telling her its her fault for denying him. and he STILL doesn’t have any real answers for her, when she gives him a chance to convince her and lays out the issues she has. He never had an answer, he only thought of himself and he thought himself superior for doing so and thus his right to take advantage of the inferior folks who are obviously too stupid to realize helping people is pointless, even while trying to rely on it.

We’ve all met that exact type of person, especially on the internet or perhaps a teenager going through that sort of phase where they think they’re so much smarter than their peers so they don’t have to do anything but everyone should do everything for them.

And like literally every other villain in precure he’s given a chance to redeem himself, they give him several in fact. Daruizen is straight up just a villain who winds up deciding not to take it. He acts like he wants to to save his own skin but he never has any real intent of being redeemed. Despite physically evolving Daruizen is someone who is wilfully static and nothing anyone does reaches him.

Honestly all the generals are like that, none of them can find it in themselves to let go of their flaws and grow as people rather than as byo-gen. Despite their sapience none of them ever actually grow into fully fleshed out people, they all cling to their flaws as their core identities.

It’s not surprising that unlike other seasons’ generals who wind up figuring out their own villainous way to work together by watching the cures, this season’s generals rarely worked together and the few times they did being used to cement their opinion that they can’t, and in the end stabbed each other in the back one after the other. Their combined power only comes together when King Byo-gen absorbs them.

In the end the message send by ALL of the byo-gen generals was “sometimes no matter what you do, some people are just toxic and are not asking for your help.” And in Daruizen’s case, it is also “You don’t have to sacrifice yourself for their sake when you know it won’t do anything but hurt you and enable them.” Daruizen never met anyone half way, and he never asked for help to be a better person, only to dodge the consequences of his actions. When asked if he would still be the way he was after the help he didn’t reply, because the answer would be yes and they both knew it.

All the generals somewhat subverted the expectations of the stock character they were built from tbh; the ambitious but stupid Guaiwaru actually went through with and briefly succeeded in becoming the big bad, Shindoine’s value as a loyal minion was seen by the villain despite her also suggesting the act that in any other similar character would be the thing that made them realize they were being used, and Daruizen never let himself be redeemed, all of which cement each of them as legitimate complete villains that weren’t changing. None of the generals were willing to change because none of them saw what they did as a problem, they just saw themselves as superior and it to be their right to treat other people poorly. Daruizen was no different from the other two, and unlike them he didn’t even have a reason, he simply decided he was too smart to be good.

[amethystpath-writes]

Can Only Move the Eyes

Original Work

Can Only Move the Eyes

@badthingshappenbingo

Small Description: an immortal sorceress is trying to rid herself of immortality by taking the life of the one she loves.

******

You're strong, the lady's voice said, but not strong enough to counter my powers.

If Tysin could growl, he would have, but he couldn't move. Even his breaths were controlled by the sorceress at his side.

Have you had training? Defense against magic? the sorceress, named Giladiasana- Sana, for short- asked Tysin in his head. He could answer if he wanted, think a response loudly enough that she would hear, but he didn't care to talk to a woman who was about to bleed him dry.

Sana pushed a hard barrier on his mind, causing a sharp sting, one that would have made Tysin take a sharp intake of breath and even hold his head, but all he could do was squeeze his eyes shut. That was meant to happen differently, she whispered in his head.

When Tysin opened his eyes again, he glanced around, head unmoving, but eyes darting about. There was glass everywhere. Mostly bottles full of discoloured liquids. Other pieces of glass- colourful ones- dangled about on strings. Tysin assumed it was sea glass. The sorceress's hut was an alcove by the beach so it made sense.

You're ignoring me. Very nice. Sana purred in his mind and it felt to Tysin like it wrapped around his brain. He felt dizzy despite being entirely still.

Why shouldn't I? he finally replied. You pretended to be a friend and now I'm paralyzed. He laughed mentally and added, But let me guess. I should be grateful that I can move my eyes, right?

The sorceress crossed the room. She left Tysin's field of vision as he was laid down. Still, she reached out to his mind. How powerful was she? Depends, Sana sighed. Would you feel better if I kept your eyes closed while I did this?

In truth, he wasn't sure if not seeing was better or worse. Sure the sorceress' home was somewhat fascinating to look at- even if his vision was limited- but wouldn't it be a taunt when she finally dragged a blade across his arm and he began bleeding out? He'd rather see the sky while he died than a bunch of dried roots, twigs, and strange shapes made of clay.

Why are you doing this? Why me?

Which should I answer first?

Sana entered Tysin's sight again. If he could have, he would have lunged at her from his table. Just answer.

You're angry, she observed first. You don't have to be. I don't intend on killing you. I like you.

Tysin would have scoffed at this, except he couldn't imagine scoffing without his chest huffing, and his chest couldn't move. It was like his mind forgot what scoffing was without actually having the action. Whereas laughing was mostly a sound, scoffing required an attached feeling. He didn't have that feeling. It was odd. He blamed Sana.

As for why you...well it's what I just said. I like you, and I don't want to get rid of you. If you had been someone else, I might have killed you to complete my goal. But... Tysin rolled his eyes. The sorceress needed to stop pretending she had any amount of feeling for him. She was cleaning a damn blade so that she could cut him open. She didn't like him. She was keeping him, like a pet. You knew I was different from the moment you met me. You're observant like that. You knew there was something dangerous about me, but you still befriended me.

And this is how you repay me. Again, he wanted to scoff, but the concept was absent. Will it hurt? he asked instead. When I bleed out, will it hurt?

The cut would hurt, but I'll make sure you don't feel it, she said. Tysin was pissed hearing the genuineness in her voice. He refused to believe she felt any remorse for this. And anyway, I'm not bleeding you out, not fully. I'll have to do this a few times. The worst to happen is you'll feel faint and get a few headaches, but I have herbs to help with the latter.

Tysin didn't reply. He was confused- and angry, but mostly confused. Because she did sound sincere. She did sound like she cared, and like she didn't want to hurt him. But if she didn't want to...then why was she? What do you need me for? Why my blood? What are you using it for? He wanted to ask again, why him? Why not some other man or woman she'd met? Why did it have to be someone she apparently cared about? There were too many questions, and it seemed like there weren't enough answers. What she was doing was heathenish and no explanation could be enough.

I'm selfish, Sana told him. There was a long pause and Tysin's chest rose suddenly as the sorceress' did, too. She must have accidentally projected her own actions onto him. His eyes went wide at the swell of feeling. At the same time his chest had rose, he felt something ripping in his arm.

I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I didn't mean-

The pain in his arm increased and he screamed, his arm jerking to his chest. The skin on his chest felt warm, and he discovered he had mobility in his neck again as he looked down. Sana's control over him had slipped and he felt the pain she caused. She'd stuck the knife in his arm and it was bleeding now, bleeding through his shirt and settling on his skin.

"Tysin, I didn't- I'm sorry. I meant to numb you, but I- What am I doing?" sana sounded angry with the last question.

She rushingly put a hand on Tysin's shoulder, and he fell still again. His arm stung as it slammed against the table. He would have grunted but Sana had control again. His eyes were stuck in a pained squint. They burned as he couldn't blink.

"I've never-" Sana paced beside the table. Tysin didn't see the knife anymore. Had she dropped it. "I don't want to do this," she stressed. "But it's all I want, too." Was she sniffling? "You can still feel. Shit."

In the next moment, the pain in Tysin's arm was gone, and so was the warmth of his own blood on his chest when he cradled his arm. His eyes could move again, too, and he found himself actually be grateful that she'd decided to let them move unlike the rest of his body.

"You know what, I'm just going to say it." Sana took a deep breath. "There's a lot to it, but I'll simplify it as much as I can." Another breath. "I'm not just a sorceress, or a witch, or whatever you want to call me. Before that, I was- you'll never believe me..." Sana sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose. "I'm a god. Or was. I was a god before I was made a sorceress on this Earth. And I'm immortal. I know it sounds crazy; I'm not even sure that you believe in the gods, but they do exist. The gods are real and they're the reason that I'm here as I am.

"I wanted to be mortal. I didn't want to be a god anymore, and they called me cowardice for wanting to abandon my powers and control. But I...life isn't worth living if you can't die. Why should I like to create if what I create has an expiration date and I don't? I want to die, Tysin. I don't want to live forever."

What does this-

You can talk. Sana nodded at him.

Tysin let his lips part before licking them. He tested his jaws, opening and closing his mouth and letting his teeth clack together. He ran his tongue along the backs of his teeth and along the skin of his cheek.

Finally, he spoke, "What does any of that have to do with me?" he asked. He didn't say whether or not he believed her outlandish story.

She swallowed. "They punished me," she explained. "They put me on a land of mortals and made me into another immortal, a one-of-a-kind. They made me into a target on this land. Witches were a scary tale created by mortals and the gods made it real, made me into that fictional form. I still want to die, so they surrounded me with death, and made it so that I can still never die."

Tysin gave a blank look. This still had nothing to do with him. She was avoiding the answer.

Sana caught onto his impatience and nodded, getting on with it all. "They have given me a choice. I still value the mortals as my creation. They are precious to me. So..." She sighed like she had done so often today. "I can obtain a mortal life for myself, but only if I kill a mortal I love." Sana walked closer to the table so that she could look Tysin in the eyes. "And I love you, but...I can't kill you. I won't." Her brows pinched together. "But I have to." Sana shook her head.

"You asked if it would hurt and before you asked that, I was still considering following through. I'm selfish, I'll say it again. But when you asked me that...I couldn't let you die. So what I want to do now is..." She grunted in aggravation. "There's so much playing into this. Okay, there are about 5.7 liters of blood in a human's body. And since blood is what allows for life, I must take yours for myself- drink it. What I want to do now, because I won't kill you, is I'll take 5.7 liters of your blood, but over a course of time. I'll take some today, let you recover. Take more another day, recover. And I'll keep doing that until I have enough to equate to one life."

Sana smiled, for the first time today. "Then we can both be mortal and I can love you until we both die. I won't have to be afraid of the person I love dying and therefore having to live on my own without them."

Tysin was almost in shock at the overload. "That...wasn't very simplified."

She gave a huff of a laugh, eyes bright.

"Let me get this straight. You want to take my life so that you can experience death?"

"In a way. I'm not actually taking your life because I won't be killing you, but yes. I am taking your blood so that we can be together."

What makes you think I want to be with you? Who was she to believe he would just be okay with her taking his blood? Sana was out of her mind! Sure she was a sorceress; he believed that in full. But an immortal god? One that needed his blood to overcome a neverending life? No. No, she was crazy.

But, he supposed, this is more up to my own selflessness now.

Sana could find another person to love. Love was limitless and could be presented in many forms. There's motherly love and platonic love. Romantic and admiration. Sana could make a new friend and do this to them instead of Tysin, but it didn't seem okay to do that. This was now a test of Tysin's morals, not the sorceress'. Could he be as selfish as her? Put someone else's life at risk or have them bled out day by day like Sana was proposing she do to him? No. Absolutely not.

"It's okay," Tysin said to the sorceress leaning over him. It wasn't okay. Not at all, but he wouldn't risk someone else's life for his own. Wouldn't make someone else go through being cut open ever day or week or however often it might happen to him. Tysin considered asking Sana to go ahead and kill him, but he knew she wouldn't do that. She loved him so much that she lost control even when she'd first hurt him with the knife. "Do what you must."

******

[egg-emperor]

Bro why do so many people go "oh Eggman was genuinely being a good guy in Shadow 2005 by helping Sonic and friends" when in his most notable cutscene in the game, he makes it very clear that the reason he even sends out his fleet in the first place is because they're destroying the planet he wants to rule? Like that's literally what the entire short scene is about hello lol

I don't even need to explain this, he speaks for me:

Plus, Eggman's role in Shadow 2005 is fucked up in a way that people overlook just because he didn't get as much focus and spotlight as I wish he did. But even in the canon story, he took credit for his grandfather's creation, lied about the truth of Shadow's creation, taking advantage of his amnesia to manipulate him and really fuck with his head even more.

Eggman isn't a good guy in this game. As usual, he only joins the fight to save his own ass and the world he wants to rule. And he makes things even worse for Shadow by gaslighting him, telling him he was just another one of the very androids that he used him to create, and that his past wasn't real just because he wanted to keep him for himself and use him for his own gain. Everything he does in this game is deeply selfish and it's extremely obvious. Not being on the Black Arms' side because he won't let the world he wants to rule be destroyed ≠ being a good guy.

"But he was being genuine and nice to Shadow in the last story." I like to see Eggman confessing to his lie as something he did to give Shadow an extra boost of motivation that he might have needed to defeat Devil Doom with the "you really are the ultimate life form my grandfather created!" line. He's a good actor when he needs to sound sincere, so I don't think the tone he uses indicates genuine remorse. Plus, I see it as being because he was uncertain of survival in that moment, as he was nervous the whole time.

I agree that the speech unfortunately gives the wrong idea to those that don't get to hear the expert mode dialogue after, but I'm talking about the people that try to use this an example of Eggman actually genuinely regretting something he's done. This is proven untrue in the expert mode dialogue, where he clearly refers to the event but doesn't apologize or understand how fucked up his actions were, even after all he's done. He laughs it off so easily because he's a fucking asshole and I highly doubt he actually felt guilty lol

Also gonna add on something that has been severely bothering me in relation to ShtH being mentioned in IDW: I reallyyy don't like how IDW helps people forget his actual intentions in Shadow 2005 when Sonic uses it to try to convince Shadow to trust Mr. Tinker.

He uses an example of a time where Eggman only sent out his fleet to save his own ass and the world he wanted to conquer and the time where Eggman literally fucking lied to Shadow. Like what??? This is hilarious. Yeah sure, that's totally gonna make Shadow trust Mr. Tinker. Really makes him seem like such a trustworthy guy that Shadow should give a chance, huh? :P

The scene wasn't even necessary because the point that Mr. Tinker isn't Eggman's real self is already enough. They're completely different. Why try to convince him through things Eggman has done as his real self, especially when they're not even genuinely selfless caring deeds, as he only teams up with Sonic and friends for the sake of saving his own ass and the world he wants to rule? And using a time where Eggman literally tricked and lied to him is the most ridiculous attempt to convince Shadow to trust him ever lmfao

[soft-sunflower]

Flower of Evil Thoughts- Episode 8

Alright, so we start off back in the unparents' house and we're now in Fall of 2005, so it's been a bit since Hyunsoo was hit by the car. And it would seem that he completely realizes he's a prisoner in that house, regardless of if he's comfortable or not. And it would seem it was the unfather's idea to change his name. Here's the thing, why are they wanting Hyunsoo to pretend to be their kid...? That shit is confusing AF to me. They're gonna turn him over to the police if he doesn't cooperate? What's in it for them? And their son is the one in a coma, so what did the unmother do? Bash him over the head or something? It's clear she's got some serious mental issues of her own. I wonder exactly what she did to that boy to put him in a coma for that long?? Hmmm...

I'm really starting to get worried for Hyunsoo and Jiwon now... like, REALLY worried... She's tracking his every movement, which I just don't know how I feel about that. I mean I get it. She's a detective, there's a possibility her husband might be a murderer or an accomplice to murder. When he gets back into bed and JW calls him out for being a liar, I got stressed... I wasn't sure if she was gonna confront him right there in their house or not, but ughhh. She's beginning to push him away, to keep her distance. HS is noticing something isn't right with their happy marriage, to the fact that he could tell she was angry/upset. Then she tells him point black she is not angry. Bullshit, woman. It just feels unsettling to me... how much they are both lying to each other now. And he doesn't like the fact that his wife won't face him. Her facing him gives him comfort, is what I got out of this. He's trying so hard here to pretend that his life has not been shaken, but it has... it's slowly crumbling now and the crumbling and beginning to move a little faster. Closer and closer to a full on landslide that his life is about to become.

Okay, so... the next part I want to talk about is where Hyunsoo is reunited with his Noona, Haesu after 18 years of not seeing each other really tugged at the heartstrings. Moojin actually makes it so they can meet, so I can't really fault him on this one. You could tell he was really surprised by Noona hugging him and crying as hard as what she was. Like why? Would you want to hold onto me? Why would you cry over me? Why would you feel anything in regards to me? He tell her straight up his reason for coming to her is selfish, but that he genuinely needs her help. I actually got very choked up during this scene. Jang Heejin sold it. She's amazing. Her desperation, her happiness and sadness and overwhelming amounts of guilt over the fact that her brother gave up his own life just to make sure that his sister lived safely and well. These poor siblings... they've gone through so many terrible things. It's so sad to see the pain they're in.

The scene of the flashback of who murdered the village foreman was WOW. I recall episode 1 making it look like Hyunsoo actually performed the murder but he didn't. Instead, he wipes and smears blood all over himself and tells Noona to give him the weapon. There was no way he was going to let his sister's life be ruined. He wanted his sister to live an ordinary life, and HE takes the blame. HE takes the fall. HE utterly SACRIFICES his own life so his Noona can live hers. And Noona can't move on with her life. Even after 18 years. She can't live normally. She suffers from the guilt over the fact that she killed someone but even moreso that her brother took the fall for her to protect her. And I KNEW as soon as she admitted to killing him, that the village foreman did SOMETHING to her. I'm not surprised at all that he attacked her either, considering that it's now confirmed he's performed more than just one exorcism on Hyunsoo. What a messed up man...

Also, their hug. I mean wow. Noona screaming and crying at him "How could you ask if I've been well!?" My heart clenched up for her. This poor woman. Even though it was Hyunsoo's decision, she is STILL living with all of that remorse. I loved watching Hyunsoo wrap his arms around her and hold her. I'm so happy that he has his Noona back. I really am. I feel like she is going to be a positive catalyst for many things for Hyunsoo in the future, provided the poor thing gets out of all this alive... I'm worried about her and for her, honestly. 

The ungrandma seems to be slowly warming up more and more to Eunha, doesn't she? Making her food and feeding it to her because the little one doesn't know how to hold her chopsticks properly? I thought that was honestly very sweet. There's a lot of underlying things here about this woman. She seems to have suffered her own trauma, and I wonder what it is she's done and been through as a result? The creepy ungrandpa gives off some really scary vibes... abusive and murderous almost. The way he slaps his wife across the face when all she wants is some happiness in her home again... The way Eunha was sitting there eating and it made her emotional and she loses it on her over that? This poor woman just wants some normalcy. I'm starting to feel a bit for her.

The scene where HS is proudly showing Noona has family in his phone is the sweetest thing. Even Noona declares that he has changed a lot from how he was when they were kids. What really warmed my heart was how he talked about how Eunha and Jiwon have the same face and how she's just like her mother. I love how he explained that he made sure his daughter was being raised properly, that she didn't lack the ability to feel like he does, that he made sure of this as he raised her. Hyunsoo is truly an amazing father. But what also breaks my heart is how he looks at himself... as this unfeeling creature that he did not want his daughter to be like. That was a hard pill to swallow. Maybe he doesn't realize, but that screams a rather heavy dislike, maybe even hatred, of himself.  However, his soft smiles as he shares his family with Noona does not seem forced or fake. I don't think he realizes how much he truly does love his little family.

Okay, Jiwon has been there almost the whole time listening??? Did she hear the warm things he said about her and Eunha before Haesu asks if he loves her? I wonder... but I will say this, he may not understand or know what the feeling of love feels like but he most definitely loves Cha Jiwon, and I think that Noona will help him discover and learn this. He needs her, he wants her, he doesn't want things to change, he's desperate for them to stay the same. Maybe he truly believes that he does not love her because that's how he's been made to believe and feel his entire life, his brain warped and twisted in ungodly ways to believe that he's a monstrous person without any ability to feel those emotions. That nobody loves him, and that he is not capable of love so therefore he does not understand what the emotion of love feels like. He can't recognize it because as of right now, it simply does not compute for him because this is what severe causes of trauma does to a person.

You can see the moment where JW's heart breaks and my heart ached for her... There has got to be a way that JW can understand what's happened to him, and what he's been put through and that he CAN be helped and he CAN be treated for it. He CAN be fixed because this isn't something he was born with. This is something that happened due to trauma. I will say though through all of that conversation JW listened in on, she did find out that her husband is NOT a murderer NOR was an accomplice to any of the serial killings. And when she's videochatting with her baby girl and her mother, it was so realistically done. The drawing Eunha made for her parents of their happy little home probably destroyed her heart just a little more to see it knowing the truth that she knows now. Their "I love you so much" exchange was the sweetest thing. At the end of the day, she's still a mommy and she still as a daughter to care for and love in their home, no matter how much her heart may be shredded, life goes on.

And that leads her to destroying the bag, burning every single thing in it, including the tape recorder. Why did she do that? Because she still loves him, because she knows he's not a killer nor an accomplice, anything that rumors painted him to be. There is no reason to catch him and bring him in, but her heart is breaking over it all because of how much she loves her husband, and now she's at a loss. She doesn't know what to do. So she burns the "evidence." She agrees to let him live as Baek Heeseong.

The scene with HS and JW sitting outside their home having a beer together BROKE MY HEART. SHATTERED IT. I'm sorry, he may not recognize it, but with everything he just said about her and so tenderly does not play out like an act to me. They way he looks at her and speaks to her... It tell me he loves her, even if he can't understand it, by calling her innocent, pure, quick to laugh, short tempered, quick to sulk, but also quick to forgive... the forgive line HURTS because what if she's not quick to forgive this time...? Because she says she's easily fooled and is gullible, and of course all HS does is laugh and say he disagrees.

They talk about their home, the anniversary of their moving in,  their housewarming party, how fun it was and how she was so truly happy that day... and my heart just hurts even more. And now she's saying for him to keep living his life for their daughter's sake, but that her final gift to him as they will part ways...!? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! NO NO NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! I ACTUALLY SCREAMED NO AT THIS BECAUSE EVEN IF HE DOESN'T REALIZE IT, HE NEEDS HER SO MUCH. HOW TF IS THAT A GIFT, JIWON!? IT'S NOT BECAUSE HE DOES LOVE YOU. HE DOESN'T RECOGNIZE THE EMOTION BUT HE DOES. GOD HE DOES. I'M IN SO MUCH PAIN.

The "Do you love me?" and the hand kissing scene... ugh god. My heart is just in serious pain at this point for these two. I'm hurting so much because of this. He can't answer her question, because he truly does not understand the feeling of love, but look at how he is with her? He's so tender with her, he's so affectionate, he's gentle, treating her like she's a package made of glass. Everything physical that he does with her, the way he looks at her, shows that yes he does in fact love her. Though JW is heartbroken and just believes that he's lying, but he has shown time and time through all of these tender caresses and gestures, that he most definitely does love her. (Side note, she took her wedding ring off... at work... *sobs*)

Next scene I want to talk about is something that I theorized on and I was CORRECT. I CALLED THIS. Remember the puppy? I theorized in episodes 6 and 7 that Hyunsoo's father made him do horrible things to animals, such as drowning a puppy. Now here we are with him and the bunny and I am SICKENED because I was RIGHT and did not WANT to be right but I was... At first you think he's giving his son a pet, but nope. He's giving his son an animal... to kill. I want to point out something. Look at how the father holds the defenseless bunny? He holds it by the scruff. Look at how Hyunsoo takes the bunny. He cradles it in his arms. If he wanted to harm that animal, he would've taken it by the scruff too. That child was FORCED to harm animals because of his psychotic father, and he was probably threatened into doing it or he'd be punished.

"Do you what you want with it. You can use your hands or tools. I'll just... sit and watch." He was trying to MOLD and GROOM this poor innocent child into being just like him... into being a murderous, monstrous demon of a man. And it explains even MORE as to WHY Hyunsoo has so many mental health issues. Because of his father. His sick, twisted-minded father. It's so disgusting the way he's warped and abused this poor child... and now it makes me wonder just WHAT his father did to him in that basement if he was forcing him to kill small animals and he was just watching... ugh. I can't even imagine what this baby went through. I can't. I don't WANT to. BUT I CALLED IT! I CALLED IT THAT HIS FATHER MADE HIM DO SCREWED UP SHIT LIKE THIS!!! And the way Do Minseok looks at Hyunsoo just utterly sickens me...

Okay... so... I have a theory about the unfather, but I could be way off the mark. Yes, it would appear he knows and has kept in touch with the accomplice at some point. That's an old phone he has, BUT... is there a snowball's chance in hell that HE could be the accomplice? Think about this... he's cold, he's scary, he controls Hyunsoo with fear, and was FURIOUS when Hyunsoo didn't kill the taxi driver. He had everything set up and ready for him to go, he provided everything Hyunsoo needed to commit the murder. Had Hyunsoo committed that murder? He would've been the accomplice to the murder of the taxi driver, soooo... he's connected to all of this in SOME way and has far too much interested in Hyunsoo to the point that he imprisoned him in his home and threatened to have him turned in if he didn't pretend to be their son...? Hmmm...

Moojin, you're funny sometimes but you're a real piece of work and I don't mean that nicely either. The fact that you would even have the NERVE to say anything to Hyunsoo about revealing his true self to his wife after the way you treated Noona speaks volumes about you. Hyunsoo not capable of feeling my ass. He is. And he's had enough of Moojin, to the point that he was ready to leave, ready to storm right out calling the man useless. I do love that Hyunsoo respects Noona enough to listen to her when she tells him to sit down. I like that Noona was able to get him to sit and listen to her. I like that she's slowly starting to help release some of the emotional repression in him by encouraging him to say what he feels most desperately at this very moment. I truly and strongly believe that she knows this is proof of him not being capable of processing emotion properly is due to his trauma.

Severe trauma, like your own father making you kill animals for fun while he watches so he can try and mold you into what he is, for example, can and most definitely WILL have this sort of effect on a person from a young age. I'm wagering a guess that Hyunsoo was never shown and taught these proper emotions, and when Noona pushes him he seems almost, dare I say, panicked as if he's trying to convince her he doesn't know? Is this a defense mechanism? Hmmm... Also, the fact that he did not become this way til their mother disappeared...? I'm still dying to know what happened there. I hope we find out next week, but I digress.

I love how Noona calls him out telling him he has changed, that he never wanted anything before but now he does. And she knows it and he does too, and so he says it, and his expressions hurt me. He can't even look at anyone as he expresses what he's feeling, what he wants. It's almost like he's ashamed to express what he's feeling. What he wants is just honestly so simplistic it's painful, because may not get what he wants...

He doesn't want to lose his life. His wife, his daughter, his job. He wants to keep living as Baek Heeseong. He wants to get up every morning and get his baby girl off to school, he wants to prepare meals for his family, he wants to kiss and be with his wife, he wants to keep working in as a metal craftsman, he wants his life to stay the same. He doesn't want his dark past being revealed to Jiwon. He just wants his normalcy. We just took our first step into HS finally speaking about how he feels! This is the first step in hopefully unlocking all of those repressed emotions he's kept locked up all these years.

Speaking of Jiwon, she is one slick chick. Sneaky sneaky, Jiwon showing up at Moonjin's apartment while he fakes illness. Very clever. Though I had to kinda chuckle a bit at their collective sigh of relief and Moojin's peace sign and HS's half-grin and eyeroll at him before she shows up at the door. The shocked look on Moojin's face and the smug grin on Jiwon's, omg... What a mess! Poor Hyunsoo though... when he hears his wife show up at Moojin's door and her pushiness on the case, the very idea of her finding out anything sends him into another panic attack, and he's clutching his heart as if it's in pain.

I feel like his inability to express emotion is beginning to manifest itself in a more physical way through these anxiety and panic attacks he's starting to have. Like the emotional repression is too much and has no other way out now beyond severe anxiety and panic.  Moojin's shitty comments about Jiwon not staying by his side if she knew his true self probably struck something in him. And now here she is, and she's closing in on everything. It's getting scary for Hyunsoo now. But then he appears at the door in front of his wife, looking calm, collected and chill. The looks like they exchange...

AND OH MY GOD THE REAL HEESEONG IS AWAKE. HIS MOTHER TRIED TO KILL HIM BY UNDOING HIS LIFE SUPPORT BUT HE WOKE UP!? How is Hyunsoo gonna be able to live as Baek Heeseong now!?  I don't have words, but UGH! HOW AM I GONNA WAIT TIL NEXT WEEK'S EPISODE!!! Feel free to send me any asks you want about this drama because I'm completely invested and HOOKED.

[goneseriesanalysis]

Caine Soren

Hiya guys, so here are my thoughts and opinions on Caine from my re-read of the first book. I was planning on writing this quicker but my ADHD told me no. I’m prolly gonna write up a bunch now though because I’m ✨in the zone✨ Also, apologies but this is another long one because I am physically incapable of being concise 

Spoilers for Gone down below

Original Opinion: Most of my criticism on him as a character came as a result of later development so I’m not quite sure whether that will change as of yet. But as far as his role as a villain, I really enjoyed his character and what he brought to the story.

New Opinion: I still maintain that Caine is a good main villain for this book. I found him to be waaaaay different and way less competent than I remember, but boy is he interesting. I have so many thoughts on Caine and it was a real struggle getting them all down.

1.) CAINE’S APPEARANCE:

Ok so we are first introduced to Caine in chapter 14 through Sam’s POV. We see him standing apart from the other Coates kids “wearing a bright yellow V-necked sweater instead of a blazer.” This is obviously done to set him apart from the other Coates kids, and (forgive me for going all English teacher on you) the colour yellow has connotations of corruption and deceit, which fit in pretty nicely with Caine as a character. Sam then goes on to give us a more detailed description:

“He was handsome, even Sam noticed that. He had dark hair and dark eyes, not much different from Sam himself. But this boy’s face seemed to glow with an inner light. He radiated confidence, but without arrogance or condescension. In fact, he managed to seem genuinely humble even while standing alone, looking out over everyone else.”

This is one of my least favourite descriptions in the whole book because it simultaneously manages to tell us almost nothing about Caine’s appearance whilst making me cringe so hard that my muscles start to atrophy. Seen as we get very little description of Sam, telling us that Caine looks like Sam is pretty much useless – although it nicely sets up the brother twist – and dark hair and dark eyes could mean anything. Are his eyes blue, brown, black?? Is his hair black or brown?? Who knows?? Not me. And don’t even get me started on his face glowing with an inner light. Because no. I hate this line so much it actually hurts. I thought at first it may be in reference to his connection with the gaiaphage. But that makes no sense. It reminds me of the scene in The Great Gatsby where Nick describes Gatsby’s smile for about half a page and he just sounds ridiculous. I will admit the last two sentences give a good example of Caine’s ability to charm and manipulate those around him but the rest is just aaa

We also learn that he is handsome, which is then followed by what I consider to be a writer’s greatest sin. “He was handsome, even Sam noticed that” – Every. Single. Time a male character describes another male character who just so happens to be attractive in any given book from any author, we get this line. It is the writer’s equivalent of saying no homo and I’m going to make it my personal mission to call them all out on it.

Ok moving on – sorry about that. Rant over.

Sam then says that “His voice was clear and just a little higher, maybe, than Sam’s, but strong and determined. He had a way of looking at the crowed before him that made it seem he was meeting every person’s eye, seeing every person as an individual.” This is good at further establishing Caine as a leader, and shows his relationship with crowds, it gives the reader some indication of his ability to control. He is able to easily win over those of Perdido Beach with his charm.

Caine gets referred to as being attractive by a few other characters throughout the book, but the last main description we get of him is from Drake’s POV in chapter 20:

“Caine sat in his over-large leather chair, the one that had previously belonged to the mayor of Perdido Beach. It made him look small. It made him look very young. And to make matters worse, he was chewing on his thumbnail, which made it almost look like he was sucking his thumb.”

This description is kind of reminiscent of the scene with Sam and the shirt that I talked about in my Sam Temple post. He has taken over the mayor’s chair but he is not fit to take on the position of mayor. Whereas Sam’s weakness in leadership stems from his insecurities and doubts, it is Caine’s narcissism and over-confidence that make him unfit to lead. Michael gives Caine the compulsion of biting his thumbnail when he is nervous. This is a habit that people often pick up to deal with challenging emotions is a less destructive way (as opposed to having a meltdown or getting angry) and works nicely for Caine’s character. It shows that while he does have his moments where he loses control, he is capable of controlling himself to a certain degree, making it seem more likely that someone like Diana might align herself with him. This also helps to further the idea that despite his narcissism and delusions of grandeur, he is still just a kid. And of course sets up the idea that Drake is somewhat resentful towards Caine.

2.) CAINE’S PERSONALITY:

Caine’s personality is a difficult one to analyse as there are two main aspects to it – the personality he projects in order to manipulate people and his actual personality – and sometimes the line between these blurs to the point where it becomes unclear which one we are seeing. One thing that I did notice is that in this book we don’t actually get a Caine POV until the Thanksgiving battle, so we mostly see him through the eyes of Sam, Jack, Drake and Diana, who all have very different relationships with him.

As I mentioned before, we first see Caine through Sam’s POV, where we are introduced to what I’m gonna call his fake personality. Michael uses phrases such as “Caine appeared interested” alongside Astrid’s commentary, which lets the reader know that Caine is not what he appears to be, but of course the general population of Perdido Beach are not aware of this. One criticism I had towards the way that Caine’s character is portrayed is that it is initially hinted that the reason he is able to gain such control over people is because of his proficiency in manipulation and his superficial kindness (such as when he comforts the kid who asks for his mum). And yet he manages to fool almost no-one?? Astrid, Sam, Edilio, Albert, Mary and Howard all immediately see through his façade, which makes it hard to believe that this is how he gained such influence over people. (And of course all the kids at Coates who were cemented saw through it too). In fact I found myself to be kind of confused as to why anyone follows him at all?? Is it just a fear of his power?? That’s… a little disappointing. He doesn’t become mayor because he charms the population. He becomes mayor because no-one else wants to do it, and no-one can be bothered to oppose him. And even when people start to become more afraid, they aren’t afraid of Caine. It’s Drake. Although, you of course have to take into account the fact that these are just children who want someone they can look towards for help and guidance. Perhaps Caine’s persuasive abilities are less about using his charm to completely win people over and more about him being able to take advantage of situations that are presented to him. He has just enough superficial charm and makes just enough beneficial changes (such as laying down rules and protecting the food) that people are willing to overlook some of the more sinister things that he does.

That being said, I think my main issue with so many characters being able to see through Caine so quickly, is what it says about or “hero.” Sam doing nothing to stop Caine, despite him clearly knowing that Caine is bad news makes him seem a little selfish?? His insecurities stop him from doing what is right, and while it is good to have a flawed hero, his willingness to allow Caine to terrorise Perdido Beach up until he threatens Sam personally seems less like a small character flaw and more like a pretty big lapse in morality and compassion. Would Sam have ever taken control if Caine hadn’t kidnapped him?? If Sam had been fooled by Caine’s manipulation that would imo have made both of their characters better fit their respective roles of protagonist and antagonist.

That being said one of my absolute favourite lines regarding Caine is “Then let’s go in together,’ Caine said. He turned and marched purposefully up the church steps. The rest of the chosen fell in behind him.” in chapter 14. I think this perfectly captures the contrast between what Caine says and what he does, and I really love it.  One of Michael’s strengths is adding little throw away lines that can perfectly sum up a character and their intentions. And this idea of Caine saying something but meaning something else is pretty central to his character – the biggest pay-off we get from this in book 1 is him promising to protect the little’s and then (horrifyingly) feeding them to the coyotes in the final battle. This was a scene that I did not previously remember and man did I feel some emotions when reading it. There wasn’t even a second thought, absolutely no indication of remorse. I know a few times it’s mentioned throughout the books that the difference between Caine and Drake is that Caine only does what is necessary – but the scene with the coyotes really contradicts that idea.

Caine’s ‘real personality’ imo is shown in little moments throughout the books. By Caine’s real personality, I’m referring to the part of him that we don’t really see at all in this book, the part of him that is only really hinted at by Diana, and occasionally Drake. Even when Caine is around Diana and Drake, he still tries to keep up a persona – this time that of a cold and detached boy with little to no emotions. But this isn’t really who he is. I think the ‘real’ Caine is an extremely emotional person (although I would like to clarify that by emotional I mainly mean angry and sometimes scared) and there are a couple of moments where this does shine through. There are a few times where Caine loses his temper with both Drake and Diana, using his powers to injure them and to reiterate the power he has over them. I think this shows how insecure Caine truly is, despite what he would have others believe. He only ever breaks character when his authority is mocked or threatened, even if the threat holds no real intention (such as Diana’s jibe after he kisses her). I do find it interesting that, at the core, Sam and Caine are quite similar. It is how these insecurities manifest and project themselves that really define them as different. Caine’s insecurities also shine through in these quotes from Diana:

“Yes. Sam is a four bar. And Caine would freak.” – Chapter 29

“Caine, despite his over-sized ego, his looks, his charm, was terribly awkward with girls.” – Chapter 39

Caine needs to be in control. He needs to be the most powerful person in the room at all times, and the only two people who can really be considered a threat to him in this way are Diana and Sam. Sam is his main threat and Diana, of course, holds a certain amount of power over him due to his feelings towards her. However, any time that Diana seems to be gaining or trying to gain more power (most notably when she makes fun of him for kissing her and when she tries to make him call off the coyotes) he reacts with violence. But I’ll go into that more when I make a post about their relationship.

Another thing that I noticed about Caine that I hadn’t previously remembered is that, he’s a bit of a coward. We first see this in chapter 34 when Little Pete frees the Coates kids “Caine was quick. He backed away, turned, and ran for the building.” The one thing that really got me about this is that he didn’t wait for Diana. He just turned and saved himself. Which kind of brings into question why Diana stays with him. Does he offer protection?? He certainly didn’t here. He literally abandoned her and ran for the hills. The other time we really see this side of him when he uses Astrid as a human shield in chapter 45. Diana even comments on this, telling him to “be a man for once.” I don’t have much else to say about this, but I think it’s an interesting aspect of his personality that certainly makes it easier to dislike him.

Now the last thing I want to talk about in regards to his personality is chapter 36 (the chapter where Drake gets his arm cut off). Caine gets in three good moments during this scene, the first one being:

“It’s not Diana or Chunk or even me,’ Caine said. ‘It’s none of us, Drake. It’s Sam. It’s Sam who did this to you, Drake. You want him to get away with it? Or do you want to live long enough to make him suffer?”

This is one of my favourite Caine moments in the book, and it’s really one of the only times that we see his manipulation actually work on someone. He knows exactly what to say to Drake in order to shift the blame in the direction he wants. Forget that I left you behind to deal with Sam and the escaped kids yourself. Forget that Diana is sawing your arm off. Just focus on Sam. And I think this line had such an effect on Drake’s psyche (which I will explore more in my Drake post) and really excellently shows off Caine’s ability to take advantage of a pre-existing situation in order to benefit himself.

The next two moments are where I really think the lines between Caine’s persona and the ‘real’ Caine blur to the point where it’s unclear which side of him we are seeing – and I think there is an argument for both although imo I feel like it’s his persona that we are seeing.

“It’s the only way to stop the pain,’ Caine said, almost showing some emotion, some pity. ‘The arm is done for Drake-man.”

“Don’t cut off my arm,’ Drake cried. ‘Let me die. Just let me die. Shoot me.           ‘Sorry,’ Caine said. ‘But I still need you, Drake. Even one-handed.”

So, we first get the idea that Caine, at least somewhat, feels sorry for Drake. Drake’s injury is horrific and it’s clear that other characters, such as Jack and Diana, who are usually nothing but hostile to Drake (and rightfully so) feel some sympathy towards the situation. Now it’s also important to note that this scene is from Drake’s POV so we don’t actually know if the sympathy Caine is showing is real, is part of his attempt to manipulate Drake, or isn’t there at all and is just something that Drake wants. (I think the last option is entirely plausible as Drake often seeks praise from Caine, so in a situation like this it makes sense that he would seek some empathy). However, Caine then goes on to refuse Drake’s plea for death… because he needs him. Not because he’s a friend – or even just an ally. Not because he doesn’t want him to die. But because he needs him. That’s cold. And it’s really cold to tell him that – which leads me to believe that the almost sympathy Drake sees earlier on was never there, or at the very least was just a manipulation tactic. Caine cares so little for the people around him and I find it quite funny that it was his treatment of Drake (the person probably most deserving of it) in this scene that really showed me how much of a villain Caine can be.

3.) CAINE’S MOTIVATIONS:

Why does Caine do the things he does?? Why does he need to be in control?? And while we don’t really get much insight into Caine’s head in this book, there are a few good moments which allowed a reader to speculate as to what his motivations are. The first moment that really stood out to me was in chapter 39, where Caine tries to open up to Diana about his parents:

“I always had the feeling, you know? That my family wasn’t my real family. They never said I was adopted, but my mother – well, the woman I thought was my mother, I don’t know what to call her now. Anyway, her, she never talked about having me. You know, you hear moms talking about going into labour and all. She never talked about that.”

From this, we can see that Caine always felt like an outsider within his own family, he always felt like he didn’t belong. And this seems to be a pretty big motivator when it comes to Caine’s need to take over, to have power over everyone else. If he has control, then he will always have a place. He will always belong because the world will be his. Caine never fit in in the real world, his narcissism (and probably psychopathy) distanced him from other people right from the get go. But in this new world, in the FAYZ, Caine has a chance to be important, to be a ruler and he’s willing to do pretty much anything to get that. I think this idea, of his need for power and control stemming from the lack of acceptance and belonging he felt with his family, is emphasised in chapter 46, during the poof:

“Caine seemed spellbound, unable to tear his gaze away from the gentle, smiling face, the piercing blue eyes.                                                                        ‘Why?’ Caine asked in a small child’s voice.                                                             […]                                                                                                                          ‘Why him and not me?’ Caine asked.”

This is the only time I felt the slightest bit of sympathy for Caine during my re-read of this book. He is 14. A kid. He spent his whole life feeling like and outsider and now he knows that a woman he knew, a woman that he saw almost every night is his actual mother. That she also knew this and yet never tried to talk to him, to explain, to do anything. And now he’s looking at ‘her’ and all he wants to know is why. Why did she give him up?? He lacks empathy and many other emotions that allow healthy relationships with others, yet he still wants people to have that connection with him. He needs him and rely on him. So his solution is to gain enough power, enough authority and control so that people have to listen to him and have to rely on him. He doesn’t care how many people he hurts or pisses off, because in the end, if he gets what he wants, that won’t matter. He’ll be too powerful for it to matter because they’ll still need him anyway. And that’s why “All that matters is winning. So save it.” – Chapter 45

4.) CAINE’S INTENTIONS/ HIS ROLE AS A VILLAIN:

Caine’s intentions are pretty obvious from the very first time we meet him in chapter 14. And, of course, it is these intentions that really define his role as a villain. Now, in chapter 14, it never outright says that Caine’s intentions are to take complete control over Perdido Beach. In fact, Caine tries to make it seem like he wants to make a collaborative effort to help them all move forward. But once again, his actions contradict his words, most notably in these lines:

“Orc grunted, shifted the bat from right hand to left, and stuck out his thick paw. Caine grabbed it with both his hands and solemnly looked Orc in the eye as they shook hands.”

“But Caine grabbed his elbow and manoeuvred him into a handshake.” [Referring to Sam]

“Caine had moved confidently towards the altar.”

These lines subtly show that, whilst Caine talks about working together, he is really the one in charge. He is the one dictating what is happening and when it is happening, forcing Sam and Orc to shake his hand. Giving them jobs so that he can keep an eye on them (Orc) or keep them out of the way (Sam). And of course, he won’t stand with them in the church. They don’t sit around a table and talk as equals. Caine has to be up at the front. He also gets extremely angry when other people make demands, or give an idea that he can’t take credit for. The most obvious example of this being in response to Howard telling him that they wouldn’t be working for Drake.  “Sam saw a coldly furious expression appear on Caine’s handsome face, then disappear as swiftly as it had come.” This is then followed up by Caine ripping a 12ft cross off of a wall and launching it at them, so it’s safe to say that he doesn’t appreciate his authority being challenged.

Later in the book we then get more obvious examples of his intentions, as his role as the villain is fully unveiled:

“Caine, to the surprise of no-one who knew him, had taken over the mayor’s office.” – Chapter 15

“Number one says Caine is the mayor of Perdido Beach and the whole area known as the FAYZ.” – Chapter 16

After Caine basically walks into Perdido Beach, tells everyone what to do, and gets away with it, he begins to be more outright with his intentions. He immediately takes over the mayor’s office, and makes his new title of mayor the very first rule to be enforced. He isn’t really all that secretive about his intentions, at least not after the initial meeting. I think this is a measure of his confidence – he doesn’t feel at all threatened by the people of Perdido Beach. I think one of the reasons that Caine is such a good villain, is that when he is in control, he isn’t that bad?? I mean sure, having Drake as sheriff is less than ideal, but Caine himself is not a bad leader. He comes up with rules that both make sense and do actively increase the quality of life of those in Perdido Beach (minus the no magic tricks rule). It’s only what Caine is willing to do in order to get that power that actually makes him the villain. Once he has it, he’s not really a threat?? And then of course, we get Caine’s fantastic little speech in chapter 42 that really just sums up all these ideas in much less words:

“What was I supposed to do? Coates? That’s it? How do you not see what an opportunity this is? We’re in a whole new world. I’m the most powerful person in that whole new world. No adults. No parents or teachers or cops. It’s perfect. Perfect for me. All I have to do is take care of Sam and a few others, and I’ll have complete control.”

Because if it wasn’t for his ego, if he hadn’t attacked Sam, if he hadn’t used Drake to cause fear and enmity, he would have had it. He would have gotten his complete control, because no-one else really wanted to be in charge. The fool is his own worst enemy.

5.) CAINE’S POWERS:

So, the last thing I wanted to discuss about Caine, is his powers. To me, it seemed whilst reading that his powers are almost an extension of his personality. Caine is naturally a very domineering person, and so it makes sense that his power is the ability to control things with his mind. The first time we see Caine’s powers (also the first time we see anyone purposefully use their powers) is in the church:

“Caine sighed, raised his hands, and used both palms to smooth back his hair.                                                   There came a rumble, up through the floor and pews. A small earthquake…                                        […]                                                                                                                                                                   But then came a rending sound, steel and wood twisting, and the crucifix separated from the wall. It ripped free of the bolts holding it in place, like an invisible giant had yanked it away.                              […]                                                                                                                                                             The crucifix toppled forwards. It fell like a chain sawed tree.                                                                                                             As it fell, Caine dropped his hands to his sides. His face was grim, hard, and angry.                                                                                                 The crucifix, at least a dozen feet tall, slammed with shocking force down onto the front-row pew. The impact was as loud and sudden as a car wreck.” – Chapter 14

I like how, similarly to the way he talks, the first time we see a display of his power, he is hiding it – his body language is suggesting one action whilst he is actually doing something else entirely. This again makes me feel like the powers are an extension of personalities (and I will give other examples of this is later posts).  I also noticed that the use of his powers is almost always as a response to his anger, something that Sam also learns to do thanks to Astrid’s guidance. These two scenes are great examples of this:

“Caine’s smile was cold. He raised his hand, palm out. An invisible fist hit Sam in the face. He staggered back. He barely stopped himself from falling, but his head was reeling. Blood leaked from his nose.” – Chapter 21

“Caine reached back over his shoulder with one hand, not even looking back. He spread his fingers, bared his palms. The fallen portion of the wall came apart, brick by brick. One by one, as though each brick had sprouted wings, they lifted off and flew. The bricks hurtled past Caine’s head and through the open door as fast as machine-gun bullets.” – Chapter 31

Unlike Sam, who often uses his powers as a defence strategy, Caine always uses them as a method of attack. He attacks Orc’s gang, Drake, Sam and Andrew – not as a last resort, but as a warning. He likes to make a big display of his power in order to deter people from actually engaging in a fight. Although when it does come down to an actual fight, he tends to be a little less confrontational and a little bit more of a coward. I mean come one. Hiding behind Astrid was low. At least this is the case in book 1.

Next, is the development of his powers. Unlike Sam, we know that Caine did not discover his powers alone:

“Several of us developed strange powers, starting a few months ago,’ Caine said conversationally. ‘We were like a secret club. Frederico, Andrew, Dekka, Brianna, some others. We worked together to develop them. Encouraged each other. See, that’s the difference between Coates people and you townies. In boarding school it’s hard to keep secrets. But soon it became clear that my powers were of a whole different order. What I just did to you? No one else could do that.”

The Coates kids formed a sort of support group for each other, which is why they have such a good understanding of their powers, as opposed to Lana and the Perdido Beach kids, who either hid their powers or else didn’t discover them until the FAYZ began. One thing that I do find interesting about this, is that the Coates kids all seemed to develop their powers pretty late. Caine says that the powers started a few months ago, and yet Sam first used his 14 months before the FAYZ began. I think that goes to show how the Coates environment really gave Caine the ability to experiment with and foster his powers, which is why he has such control. He achieved in a few months what is took Sam over a year to do. (One thing that I think would have been nice to have is perhaps in a later book some flashbacks on the Coates kids working together to do this. But oh well)

Thank you so much again for reading, and please feel free to add your thoughts. Next up is Diana and I have a lot to say about her. :)