#//And it’s for a completely selfish reason; even through genuine remorse

[therese-lokidottir]

Btw why every single fan fiction I seeing (not all but many) is Tony stans? I meant they always put Tony in good light and 'oh poor baby' and worst of it they make other characters be worst and top of it is steve

Now, everyone have free will to writing what they want but come on, it's getting annoying. Specially it's so clear Tony is never good person, sure he have his good moments but the rest? He not nice to he so called close friends and lover

And Steve? Please just because he is a soldier didn't meant he is bad, I meant sure American soldiers and soldiers generally have bad reputation, but Steven prove it he more just a soldier, he is a man.

Also it's kind bothering me while this issue never been showing it but Steve is quite religius person and Tony is atheist. And now I am no want make some kind hateful comments but I feel little bit got insulted by it.

I meant if you have religion didn't make you good person but well they make Steve like that and hate him sound like imply something

I don't think Tony Stark is bad. I think he is a wonderfully complex character when written well when written within his film series. But then Civil War happened and then the MCU Spider-Man movies had to make the choices that they made.

In the original Iron Man film Tony is egotistical, he is selfish and he is a complete mess but he is still a man with a heart. He is genuinely remorseful for what his weapons have done and he wants to change and do good. Tony is a man who struggles with his ego and with being vulnerable. He has trouble letting down those walls even to his best friends who have stood by him through so much, he's still scared.

In the Iron Man films, those were flaws Tony needed to learn from. Tony needed to learn and grow and you do see that. But then CA: CW didn't quite get that. Tony does have compassion, he does have sympathy for people. But in CA: CW it's more about guilt than it is about responsibility and self-reflection. He gets called out but some mom, but was this not something Tony Stark was struggling with? Was he not already giving to the relief efforts?

People can argue that Steve was doing wrong things in CA: CW, he was breaking laws regardless of the accords, but Tony consciously does things that question if the accords have any legitimacy in the first place. He uses an untrained 15-year-old for backup without giving them full details of the situation and lying to their legal guardian. Tony's team initiates the fight and causes collateral damage because he's permitted to do so. Lastly, he ends up snapping and trying to murder someone and he never has to face repercussions for that, legal ones I mean. He's pushing for the accords while it's clear he doesn't have to abide by why they are supposed to be there.

Contrasting all that to Steve desperately trying to help his friend, consoles someone facing eminence guilt, and allows others to leave without judgment while giving them the full story, does make Steve seem a lot nicer and more human. Bucky was brainwashed, abused, and used by Hydra and the reason they could do that was because Howard Stark used Hydra members to build S.H.I.E.L.D. All because he thought it was acceptable to for the sake of protecting the world.

The problem with Tony's "mentorship" of Peter is he treats Peter more like a project than someone who is their own independent person he's meant to be guiding and pointing in the right direction. Of course, there is the metatextual problem of shifting from billionaires the bad guys to working-class bad guys in the franchise about the hero who is usually the working-class street-level hero.

The MCU really seemed to forget Tony was an ass he needed to be better. He ends up never learning and the MCU seemed to forget Tony's ego was both bad and annoying, and also kind of a coping mechanism and cover Tony was using to deal with his issues.

[justineps]

2023-2024 was the hardest, I almost didnt make it out because for the first time, I didnt bother to look around for hands or any reciprocations of help or guidance. I’ve been caring and relying on others for the first thirty years of my life, so I decided, that part of me needed to die. It had to. I did not know who I really was, what I felt, what to do with what I felt, is there a right or wrong? And it’s been two years, two lonely years, but I spent it all with no other than the person I definitely needed to, myself. No one when I was age 30 and earlier knows who I am, but I do. And as much as pain and suffering and even flashbacks of sobbing seeing nothing but pitch blackness surrounding me, especially when the person who gave you a chance to exist, ends up being the one to make you feel like its better off to not. Just writing this is .. honestly hard for me to do as memories and experiences of the past two years keep flooding my mind. I wish I was properly diagnosed with ADHD type: combined earlier in my life, because it explains a lot about me, and that specific type of ADHD is closely related to anxiety/depression disorder. In a sense, I was halfway diagnosed. I also had a feeling but dont want to get into it. I didn’t forcefully burn bridges with everyone, and in actuality, I hope that if I return to some bridges, some of those would still be there, but wont beat myself up if they were no where in sight anymore. Balance. Sacrifice. I cared for others so much up until 30 years old, even if it may seemed as if it were for selfish desires, it wasnt. I just really did not know how to express myself in a way for someone to understand me. Its been 2 years. 2 years. 2 years of being alone, not having someone to eat with, not having someone to talk to about an episode or movie I found amazing, which was the total complete opposite of what I was experiencing beforehand for the first time. I had never spent time with someone every single day of my life with someone so it was very raw and new to me, but Im sure on the other hand, it was an experience she was used to. We never really took time to try and understand each other, and sometimes I question if I really loved that person. And the simple answer to that was yes, deeply. It’s been two years, and the old me wouldve tried to go out and date or get my mind off things, but i realized id just be repeating the never ending cycle i always have been and would ultimately get me nowhere. Theres many things I wish I could say but I know many people would look at me the same despite not knowing where Ive been the last two years and it shows whenever someone reaches out (“You’re alive?! What the heck where have you been? “yes i am, barely made it but yes. Ive been.. i dont know and really hope you dont ever go there, but its nice to hear back from you too take care”) I’ve been writing in a journal, it helps me self reflect a lot and the main reason im not the same person I was two years ago, and despite whatever others may think, I feel like I am finally me, and although we live in the loneliest generation ever, I do hope one day someone or even someone I already know, sees me for who I have turned into, and if they are genuinely curious as to my past two years, I will simply hand them my journals and tell them I trust them enough to not feel any remorse for what I was going through, but moreso happiness and pride that I was able to, because in those journals, I sometimes even feel like Im reading a fictional book. My English teacher in highschool was right, I cant speak what I feel and want to, but if someones takes the time to read and listen to what I have to say, not how I say it, but the words and meanings of what I said, then they’ll be able to be one of the firsts to not see me as misunderstood. I’ll never forget when someone randomly went up to me, smelling like liquor, and told me “You know you’re just really misunderstood, but dont worry so much!” And he went off to the dance floor and acted like the fool he happily was.

Theres so many things I want to say, but I have to just move forward, it hurt when thinking my dream as a kid is most likely not going to happen at this point, but i take full accountability for where i am today, and where I end up after this.

Love,

JS

i been pulling myself out of dark places alone since i was a child. i’m built for anything