#// ugh fine i guess they'll be happy again rrrr

[ask-idv-shepherd]

Shaking, Pearce sniffled before hiding his face in his knees. Afraid to face the other again. Trembling against the other's hand, Pearce slowly leaned against the other, lifting his face just a little so he could rub his eyes on his plaid shirt sleeves.

There was no excuse for his behavior. It wasn't an accident like Lawrence was trying to play off... He knew deep down it wasn't. He had no control as he helplessly watched it go up in smoke.

Yet, he still believed in him... It wasn't fair.

"D-Do I really...? I-I don't know anymore... My hearts all messed up... my brain hurts... I-I'm just scared... scared I'll be alone again... i-in a dark place... God's already abandoned me..."

Still, he clutched at the tiny wooden cross upon his neck, sniveling like a child. Nervously looking up towards Lawrence, Pearce rested his head against his knees.

"I... I am happy with you... You've been so sweet... kind.. y-you even let me be affectionate wh-when I know I shouldn't show too much... You're always spoiling me, like I deserve it."

Closing his eyes, the fox once more rubbed his eyes. He was so tired of it all.. Tired of going in circles with himself. Just for once, he didn't ant to be so problematic.

"I-I'm sorry... I shouted at you without reason... I-I just... I really wanted to make up for my sins... I truly wanted to see if she was okay... to apologize for my behavior... I can never forgive Alu for this... a-and all the other horrible things I've done."

Facing the other, Pearce looked depressed, dejected like a small puppy who got into trouble. "I... I care about you a lot Lawrence... I'm sorry you have to p-put up with someone terrible as me... I-I bet the others can make you feel better... I hate being jealous of that... having to be the one to fight with you... it hurts..."

"L-Lawrence, dear...?"

Knocking came from the door and the Shepherd's voice echoed through the door. It sounded desperate, pleading almost.

"Open the door, I want to see Sam."

'I meant every action, I'm curious about this 'Sirius' entity.'

"Please... I-I'm sorry... s-so so s-sorry... I-I didn't mean to..."

'Open the door Mr. Cotas.'

"Please... pleasepleasepleasepleaseplease...!"

'Let me wrap my hands around that brat's throat.'

// @ask-idv-shepherd

The voice he thought was sweet and calming was now another reminder of the monster he was...dating. The monster that could end his life as soon as he blinked, just what was he thinking.

He didn't even bother opening the door, he only aproached it to lock it.

"NO, PEARCE. I'M NOT LETTING YOU NEAR HER AT ALL." Lawrence didn't even know he could sound this angry, it was unusual.

"I TRUSTED YOU on being able to keep Alu at bay, to control him so he doesn't fully becomes a threat. BUT NO, Trusting you only made ME look like a fool and almost lose the closest thing I have to a family."

"A SORRY WOULDN'T HAVE FIXED HER DEATH IF IT HAPPENED. WHAT WOULD YOU HAVE TO SAY IF SHE DIED? WITH WHAT FACE WOULD YOU COME HERE TO SAY 'SORRY', PEARCE."

He breathed heavily, punching the door from the inside in a burst of anger.

"Leave me alone. I don't need you now."