#// this isn't nine potw old sh

[danetobelieve]

Toss A Coin To Your Friendapist || Nell and Winston

Winston and Nell had more than enough time hanging out to fill a life time of memories. Yet despite that, when they got to spend quality time together it was a true blessing. Apparently this was something that magicians could do, Morgan’s PDFs had explained a technique of literally throwing energy to one another and as they stood in the backyard of Nell’s apartment, Winston pulled back and threw a glowing sphere of energy spiralling through the air and watched it drop towards their friend. “I can’t believe that we’re here and that we are doing this and that I am actually casting magic with you and you’re here doing it right back to me and it is all really amazing and wow.” 

Truly, Nell had been reveling in the fact that not only one, but both of her best friends had been showing magical abilities in the past month. She loved that she could share this literal magical bond with Winston nowadays, that she didn’t have to hide it from them anymore. And this game reminded her of something she and her sisters had played when they were younger, and learning to harness their powers. Mindlessly, she caught the ball in hand, letting it’s momentum carry it around her back before shooting it back towards Winston. “You’re making killer progress like- soon you’re gonna be busting down doors and creating little hurricanes or like- whatever the hell you magically want to do!”

Winston concentrated hard for a moment, watching the path of the ball of energy as it arched across the back garden and through the air towards them. Focusing on it’s momentum, they reshaped it’s path and managed to mimic the trick that Nell had just demonstrated. Surprised at their initial success however they dropped the ball and had to quickly whip it up before it singed the grass too much. “It’s going okay I guess,” Winston found the theory and lore surrounding the magic was much easier to get to grips with then the actual practical applications of it. That was where they had experienced the majority of their problems. “I’m not sure how good my progress actually is, it is difficult to know what to gauge it against.”

Nell watched the ball carefully as it traveled, knowing that Winston had certainly come a long way, but also knowing that magic could be...fickle. The last thing they needed was to start a little grass fire. Or even worse…a Winston fire. Nevertheless, a wide grin spilt her lips as she saw Winston get the trick fairly easily. The fumble afterwards was easily forgiven as Winston quickly recovered. “Well a month ago you couldn’t even do magically willfully so- it’s a big step.” But just as the ball was tossed her way once more, a flash caught the corner of her eye in a separate part of the yard, somewhere behind Winston.The game was forgotten, and the ball quickly catapulted into the ground, leaving a scorched trail behind it. “Shit,” Nell cursed before blipping the magic ball out of existence, leaving her and Winston in the darkness of the recently set sun. “Sorry I- thought I saw something.”

“I know, I know, everyone tells me that I should be happy with my progress but the truth is that I’m not.” Honestly, they hadn’t really been expecting any of this to be anything but a fun game and sometimes things went wrong. Winston looked around them and was not surprised to find that they were in the same place, with the same things going on. Maybe Nell was just having a tough day. “Something?” They had began to learn to question everything, after all if there was something that could potentially go wrong then in White Crest it really would go wrong. “Do you have something a bit clearer and much … much less vague then something?” Winston didn’t want to risk … something. 

Nell nodded, knowing her friend well enough to not be surprised by their frustration. Winston had always been like that. But sometimes it was difficult to relate to it. After all, she’d been raised in magic. The fundamentals that Winston was learning now were ones she barely remembered learning at all. Her and her sisters had been so young when they started, it was just as much a part of them as her arm or her leg might be. “You’ll get there. I know you will.” The promise of ‘something’ had her distracted, though, no longer able to focus on what they’d been talking about. “Yeah….something…” Just then- another something cracked in the night behind Winston, startling Nell in a way that had her lashing out blindly with magic in their direction, though it skimmed around them and went for whatever might be lurking behind them, summoning it out of the darkness towards them.

One moment Nell was encouraging them that they would be able to do this, it would just take time. A moment later and Winston was seeing a flash of what was definitely offensive magic. They trusted Nell implicitly. It didn’t occur to them that this was perhaps a mistake, so they decided that maybe this was time to practice. One of the texts that they had located had a few techniques about redirecting and repurposing offensive magic and so as the flash of energy lanced through the air towards them, Winston focussed. “Woah,” they muttered to themselves as they did their best to center themselves, they did their best to locate their serenity and similarly to how Nell had with the ball, they focussed on wrapping the energy around them and sending it spiralling back towards Nell before adding a little something of their own to it. 

For a moment, Nell didn’t entirely register Winston’s magic coming towards her, and her reaction took a moment longer than it usually would as she stepped out of the way of the magic. After all, she’d been too busy staring at the spot behind Winston. “What?!” she exclaimed in surprise after her dodge. “No! I wasn’t going for you! I thought it was the...thing! Behind you!” As if her words had summoned it, the ghost of Evan stepped from the edge of the forest, and Nell’s face went white as a sheet. At least by now, she knew Winston wouldn’t be able to see them. No one had been able to see him so far. Not even Blanche, strangely enough. “I- nevermind. I was wrong. Nothing’s there,” she said quickly with a tinge of nerves.

Frowning gently, Winston looked left and right at the scene in front of them. They were honestly confused. What was Nell talking about and why were they so taken aback by everything that was happening. “Oh, shit, sorry…” they fell silent and frowned gently, “I didn’t mean to hurt you or anything are you … are you sure that you’re okay?” they didn’t just mean because they had cast an offensive magical spell at their friend. There was clearly something going on with Penelope and as Winston felt their body grow tired from the magic use they stepped forward. “Nell, what’s going on?” 

Nell was never a person to really show nerves or fear, and the fact that she seemed even relatively shaken at the moment was drastically out of the norm. “It’s fine. It wasn’t clear.” Gone was the lighter Nell that generally inhabited her body, leaving a focused and somewhat shaken self in its wake. “And yeah- I’m good,” she said forcefully, as if trying to convince herself of it as well. She’d chosen to keep Evan’s ghost around by not getting rid of her coin, she had to deal with this. “It’s- nothing. I’m just….always ready to launch magic into dark forest, is all.“ She knew she wouldn’t be able to tell Winston about Evan’s ghost, not when she was the reason he was a ghost in the first place, and Winston had judged her so harshly for talking about murder before. Trying to get back to the sense of regularity, she offered, “Did you wanna keep playing catch?”

Winston and Nell had been best friends since before Winston could remember. They were roughly the same age and they’d been at school together. They were close and Winston knew when she was lying. There was something going on and she was not being honest. “Nell, it’s me,” Winston replied with a shake of their head, “I know that you’re not fine or good or however you want to put it. Just tell me the truth. Please.” They bit their lip, hoping that Nell would be honest with them. “Not till you tell me what’s going on…”

Nell couldn’t hide the little flash of guilt that crossed over her features as she looked at Winston, not wanting to lie to them. She’d spent so many years not telling them the truth about the supernatural and magic, and starting up the cycle anew wasn’t something she was interested in. But wasn’t this different? She shifted uncertainty on her feet for a few moments, gaze flicking towards Evan where he stood on the edge of the forest before simply saying, “It’s just a ghost. It doesn’t matter. I thought it was something else.” She didn’t have to tell the whole truth, right?

Raising an eyebrow immediately, Winston didn’t have to be Nell’s best friend to know that some shit was going on. She was still, well maybe not lying but not telling them the whole truth. “You’re seeing ghosts?” they asked with a frown wondering what the hell was actually going on because Nell was a spellcaster and not a medium, so unless she knew something that they didn’t there was something most definitely not right about this. “You shouldn’t be able to see ghosts unless your name is Blanche Harlow or some other medium or exorcist that I didn’t know that you were, what’s going on?”

“Not ghosts plural,” Nell mumbled, still reluctant to be having this conversation. “Just the one.” A wan smile came with her words, as if having less ghosts somehow made it better. “It’s the coin,” she sighed. The coin she was meant to be rid of by flinging it in the ocean along with everyone else. But instead, she’d hung onto her’s. “So that’s what’s going on- that’s all.” She knew it was pretty much futile to pray that Winston might stop asking questions, as curiosity tended to be just as big a part of their nature as it was her’s, but she could hope, right?

“Just the one?” Winston replied with a frown, “okay well that doesn’t sound like something Blanche related.” Winston frowned as she showed them the coin. “Did Blanche forget to tell you how to get rid of yours too?” Winston really hoped that they weren’t about to find out that Nell had kept this deliberately. She always had these noble ideas of self sacrifice but this seemed dumb even for her. “Who’s the ghost of?” Winston asked curiously, worried about their friend. “Is it someone I knew?”

“It’s not Blanche related. She knows about the ghost because I asked her about it when he first showed up, and I didn’t know it was because of the coin. But- I don’t know- she probably thinks I got rid of him already.” Then Nell was shaking her head, still wishing this conversation hadn’t been sparked in the first place as a rock seemed to begin forming in the pit of her stomach. “No, she told me! Did she- forget to tell you?” Nell asked, a little frown on her lips. “It’s- does it matter?” Dread began to join the lump in her throat, an almost choking feeling beginning to manifest as she looked nervously at Evan’s ghost, as if to reassure herself that Winston couldn’t see him. “No, you don’t know him. I met him when I was...travelling.” With a flicker of surprise, she remembered she still hadn’t told Winston exactly what she’d actually been doing while travelling. 

“Cool, I’ll keep it on the downlow until told otherwise,” Winston replied with a shrug and laughed, “Only for like a few days and she apologised and Ricky had been locking me in my room at that point anyway because I was ending up in some really compromising positions and it was starting to become a safety risk. But I threw it in the ocean already, so the sleep walking has stopped.” They paused and looked at her, she seemed like she was in a lot of pain about this and Winston shook their head in response before dropping their hands. “No, it doesn’t matter, but you know, you’re my bud and I have your back, so whatever you need, we can talk or we can not talk about it, but, I don’t know, you seem like you’re holding a lot of emotion related to this.” 

Nell didn’t want to confirm nor deny Winston’s offer of hiding the ghost, not wanting to keep things from Blanche either, but the less questions she had about the thing, the better. Let Winston decide what they did or didn’t wish to do when it came to telling. “Well- that’s better than nothing, I guess. I’m glad you got rid of your’s, though. Especially with Miriam around.” Her shoulders relaxed a bit as Winston spoke, unsure how to handle the situation at hand, but appreciating their offer of emotional support. “I just- I don’t know how you’d react or- how it might change your view of me. And- well- things have been changing so much recently with us- with all the magic and stuff-” What if they didn’t like the parts of her she'd been hiding?

Winston wasn’t going to lie to any of their friends unless it concerned their safety, they’d made that mistake already and they didn’t want to make it again. But Nell was entitled to some degree of privacy with her personal life, irrespective of Winston’s opinion on the matter. Winston swallowed at the thought of the vampire that hunted spellcasters. “Yeah, plus waking up in strange places was really not great.” They hadn’t loved some of the places they’d found themselves in. “I obviously -” Winston bit their tongue, “I’m new to this …” they paused trying to think of the best words for this particular situation, “I want to learn more and I’m starting to realise that my world view doesn’t work anymore … not in this world. The more I consider Miriam, the more I struggle. Despite the fact that she’s a ruthless murderer apparently, she is also charming and generous. We have no way of putting her through any form of a justice system effectively, she’d just kill everyone and disappear. But killing her seems wrong.” Winston frowned, realising their tangent. “My point is, I’ve got so much to learn and I’m not going to judge you for choices you’ve made in this batshit crazy world, whatever you did or whatever you think is so bad, I’m still just me. You’re still just you.” 

“The supernatural it...adds some complications.” It was hard for her to speak to when it had always been a part of her existence, but she did her best to understand Winston’s point of view. Nell waited patiently as they spoke, trying her best to ignore the form of Evan as they did. She wanted to focus only on the person in front of her, the one that was tangible, the one that had been a staple in her life since before she could remember. Winston was as much a pillar of Nell’s life as Bea and Luce might be, having been there since the beginning. And she’d been excited to share this supernatural world with Winston, so that they might both co-exist in it together, no more magical secrets between them. But perhaps what she hadn’t realized was that you couldn’t select what secrets came through or not, you couldn’t pick and choose. If she truly wanted to welcome Winston into the world, she had to give all of it to them. “Don’t tell anyone...if I tell you. Please. I don’t- I don’t like thinking about it in general and- I don’t want people asking about it.” And she didn’t want people to think she was some sort of monster because of it. “It was a few years ago. His name is Evan. The one that I’m seeing. I’m- well I’m the one that-” she choked over the words for the moment, her fear of abandonment trying to drag her back down and hide the truth. “I killed him.”

Honestly, of all of the things that Winston had been expecting to hear from Nell, this was not the worst thing that it could’ve been. Still not great, but after everything that had happened with the vampire Winston wasn’t about to judge someone else for any life taking mistakes that they may have made. “Nell, you know that I wouldn’t ever tell people something that you told me, I’ve never told anyone about the time that you accidentally broke that vase and we blamed it on the pets,” Winston replied with a sigh, “this is obviously worse then that but you know that it is the same principle. This lip is zipped.” Winston mimed the movement of turning a key at the corner of their lip and throwing it away before swallowing and nodding. “Okay, that, won’t lie is not the great start that we would’ve liked, why did you … you know….”

The smallest hint of a smile quirked the edge of Nell’s lips, glad that Winston seemed to at least be trying to lighten the mood. “Well...it was the pets. We were perfectly innocent.” They’d neve been innocent a day in their life. At least- not if it was something Nell had pulled Winston into. “But thanks, Winston.” She knew asking them to keep this a secret could potentially be...a lot, though. Especially considering his work with the WCPD. The small grin he’d managed to tug from her was quickly gone as she once again became immersed in the feelings that came with thinking of the past. Winston couldn’t even say the words killed when it came to her. Nell’s mind went a little haywire as she tried to keep it from spiraling, worrying if he was already beginning to hate her. “So- you know when I was travelling? Part of what I was doing was going around helping people deal with supernatural stuff. And- well- I came to this town, and someone was using him as a cover. Blaming him for all the shitty stuff they were doing. It was some Hunter that had gotten bored and decided to just- start shit. Like- murdery shit.” Her hands fiddled with one another, nerves at the forefront of her demeanor as she explained. “The guy I’m seeing as a ghost- Evan- he’s the one they were blaming, and a new vampire. He didn’t- he didn’t really know what he was yet, though. So I told him. He didn’t like it. Didn’t want to be it.” This was where it became harder for Nell to tell the story, her words halting more often. “I told him about how he needed to feed to keep himself safe, so he wouldn't jump anyone that so much as bled. But he- he decided- if he was going to be this thing that stole blood from people- that could kill- he didn’t- that wasn’t something he wanted to be. So he starved himself. Purposefully. Made sure I was there when he snapped- when he was about to attack an innocent because of how hungry he was. I had to help them! And in the process…” Her hands spread wide, bottom lip jutting out as she was unwilling to say the words aloud. “He was my friend.” 

Winston knew better then to believe Nell’s proclaimed innocence. “You know that i’ll always be here for you no matter what....” It was true. Nell could’ve killed someone and Winston would be by her side. Listening carefully to her explanation, Winston bobbed their head in agreement. “That sounds gross,” Winston replied truthfully, though a good part of them wasn’t even remotely shocked by it. They didn’t speak again. The tear balancing in her eyes. The bottom lip. It was all tell tale. Winston didn’t need to say anything, they simply stepped forward for the embrace. Just in the same way that they had done a thousand times before and would do a thousand times again. Just in the same way that Nell had done for them anytime they had scraped a knee, anytime anyone had fucked with them in high school. They would hug it out and things would be okay. Taking a step back, they tucked her hair behind her ear and placed a gentle kiss on her forehead. “I’m so sorry Nell,” Winston looked at her and knew that they would never be able understand her pain, “I can’t imagine the pain and sacrifice that must have taken.” It was cruel of Evan to do that. Very cruel. 

In a life that had been perhaps too full of friends coming and going, Winston was one of the few constants. It was the reason she’d do quite literally anything for them, why they had such a strong hold on her. “Thanks…” was all Nell could begin to say, never knowing just how she could tell Winston that they were one of the most important people in her life in a way that would actually convey the depth of just how strongly she felt bonded to them. “You know you’ve got me, too.” For a long moment, she simply relaxed into their hug, letting the world go quiet as she felt safe in their arms, and then as they pressed the kiss to her head. But the feeling of serenity couldn’t last, not when she could still see Evan lurking over Winston’s shoulder. “It was shitty,” she managed to get out, voice strained with the effort of trying to keep it together. “But- I should have found another way. Or stopped it. Or seen it coming. Either way-” It was why she had kept the ghost around. To remind herself to do better for her friends, the ones she loved. 

Quietly, Winston squeezed her shoulder affectionately and nodded as best they could in the midst of an embrace. “Anytime, always here for you.” They didn’t have to say that. They knew that Nell knew it. But this was still … important to them. It was important that Nell understood just how much she meant to Winston. She was their oldest friend after all. “I mean, that’s one of the reasons I say anytime, because I have never fucked up and so when I eventually do it it is going to have to be way more spectacular then your fuck ups, and you’ll have no choice because you owe me.” They winked and gave her a bright smile. Winston looked down at her and tried to consider the impossible situation that she had found herself in. “You were put into a situation that I cannot even begin to understand and yet your reaction was to try and help in whatever way you could, I know that what you did doesn’t feel right and I could never imagine whether or not you feel a specific way, but you have to forgive yourself eventually. Maybe part of that is letting the coin go.”

Nell was beginning to return to her usual state, trying to brush away the unwelcome memories and thoughts as Winston joked and smiled. She didn’t want to dwell on this, didn’t like the way it felt when she did. “Yeah, you’d never done anything wrong it your entire life. Such a perfect little person,” she teased, reaching out to pinch his cheek between her fingers. The smile fell as the got back to the more morose subject of Evan, and Nell simply shook her head, not ready to agree with him on that front at the moment, but tired of baring her emotions when they’d come here to play something fun. “Maybe,” was all she offered, knowing full well that she had currently had no plans to throw the coin back to the ocean. “Let’s see how long you can actually keep our little orb going though.” And with that, she’d brought the magic ball back to life from her fingertips, ready to carry on.