gh0stification

[hkblack]

Finding and Working with a "Long Term" Beta reader

An ask came up in the DIWS Discord about how people got long term betas, coupled with a fear of pinging the beta-reading role in the server “too often.”

I wrote a rough version that I shared in the server, with the promise to clean it up, and put it on Tumblr for posterity.

Below is that post.

First off, never ever, ever feel bad about "constantly" pinging for Beta-Readers in Discord servers that have that role. Beta-Readers are, first and foremost, fellow fans. If they did not want more content, they wouldn't be in these kinds of spaces period. I've yelled about it before, one large reason I love beta reading is that I am a voracious reader on AO3 and am always looking for new content. So, if I say no to beta-reading, or don't answer a call, it is almost always a timing issue and sometimes a content issue (I say this as someone with rather lax content boundaries and harder timing boundaries). I won't speak for all beta readers by saying we all just want more content and enjoy beta reading because we get that content sooner than ye average reader but like...the desire for more is a factor for most of us.

Now of course, beta reading is work, and to think "ah well, the joy of reading my amazing work is thanks enough" makes you a jerkface. Credit. Your. Beta. Reader. But also, "is my work good enough to be Beta-Read?" should never be a barrier for entry. We are usually people who want more fan-content, enjoy helping others create more fan-content, and would only opt into the role if we have the time for it (which means we'll opt out too if we don't!). Your work is always good enough to be beta-read because a good beta-reader is interested in helping you grow and elevate your writing for the interest of the common fandom.

Now. As to how to get a long-term beta reader. It's no secret that @ambrasuembra and I have become long terms for each other so I'm going to talk about her specifically. Interestingly enough, we didn't start as beta readers for each other. She needed help with musical terms for Striking Chords and I had answers. And then I fell in love with her story and made her a playlist. (Two actually) And then we became friends via a transatlantic love of country music (specifically queer country music) and then started beta'ing for each other all the time.

All that to say, most long-term beta reading relationships have a mutual friendship built underneath because, my favorite mantra, beta reading is all about trust. Now these friendships are varying levels. Ambra is one of my closer fandom-friends, but is not my only fandom friend. And some of those friendships started because I was beta reading a longer fic, or multiple fics, or a series, and we just were talking all the time. Which, outside of "be friends then beta read for each other", is probably the most usual way to get a long-term beta reader. Find a beta reader who you vibe with...and then ask them again. And then become friends through that.

It should also be noted that I have serial offenders on my list that I beta read for that like... Maybe don't fall in the "friend-friend" bucket. I don't talk to them outside of public spaces about anything really other than their work, but I like their work and we vibe well together. So, we're like... Work friends. With fanfiction. Beta friends? That sounds weird.

Also, I think it's important to note that while long term betas are amazing--sometimes you gotta be polyamorous with your beta-readers. I've got a WIP that isn't Ambra's cuppa that when I sit down to seriously write as opposed to muse on, I'm gonna need someone new to work with on. Dash @ineffableomenshusbands beta-read for me recently because I was doing a big surprise for Ambra. I participated in another server's GTA and had ArcticRose beta read for me because Ambra was also participating. HolRose did a polish read on an upcoming WIP for me (Goats Part the First) after Ambra and I couldn't look at it anymore. And I gotta say--all three of those folks flagged things about my writing that Ambra never picked up on, and all three of them had very valid points and all three of them have contributed to my growth as a writer. Long term betas are great, but you'll still need to go a'beta-reader huntin' from time to time.

Anyway, this is how you get a long-term beta reader. You find someone you work well with and keep asking until it gets to the point where they go "why'd you ping the beta role, dingus, I'm right here." (If that kind of playful banter is your style).

If it's always no, then they might be too busy (often the case), they don't think they can fit what you're currently looking for/handle the content you're working on (also pretty often), or maybe they don't feel the vibe as well as you do (sometimes the case). Don't take it personally!

After all, a long-term beta reader is like a therapist. If you don't vibe... It's just not gonna work. No matter what. So, if you don't vibe with a beta reader, that's okay! There's another out there that's perfect for you. You'll find them by:

being clear in your asks about what type of beta read you need

communicating clearly about when your beta reader does something that doesn't work for you

and remembering that above all else, they are a fellow fan, as ready to go feral about stupid fandom stuff as you are, and happy to consume and create more free content.

So never, ever, feel bad about pinging the beta role and asking.

[failedintsave]

"Love" for S/T please 💛💙

Ahahahaha yessss an entire section, GLADLY! I'll throw on a cut so my ramblings don't block out everyone's dash with a wall of text. Let's get sappy

[Ship Questions]

Who said “I love you” first?

I like this either way, but I lean towards Toki. The words came easily and fairly early on and he says it all the time. It took longer for Skwisgaar to verbalize despite knowing it almost all along, but he tried his best to show it in other ways until he scraped together the nerve.

What are their primary love languages?

For Skwisgaar it's acts of service; with their lifestyle, surrounded by servants, what's a more heartfelt expression of your affection than to go out of your way to do something for the ones you love? Growing up having to be so self-sufficient means that being on the receiving end of this treatment is very meaningful to him as well.

For Toki it's gifts; handmade or handpicked, the idea of finding an item and immediately thinking of someone, or creating something with them in mind is the ultimate expression of love in his book. Some of his endeavors are a bit misguided but always well-intentioned. He's responsible for Skwisgaar's growing collection of arctic animal tchotchkes...it all started with a tiny ceramic wolf and spiraled from there.

Who uses cheesy pick-up lines?

Skwisgaar, but it seldom lands because Toki takes everything too literally. ("Hej handsome, comes here often?"/"...we lives here? For like. Ten years?")

How often do they cuddle/engage in PDA?

Constantly but they're not gross about it. Lots of leaning on each other or using the other as a pillow while they go about their separate activities, gaming or running finger drills.

Who initiates kisses?

Usually Skwisgaar since he expresses himself physically more often than verbally. Alternative answer: whoever is feeling like they aren't currently getting the attention they deserve.

Who’s the big and little spoon?

Skwisgaar Little Spoon 5ever. Not even specific to this ship. Hold the baby.

What are their favorite things to do together?

They really enjoy just spending quiet time in each other's orbit and relaxing away from the demands of celebrity life, sharing their hobbies or bingeing shows. Skwisgaar takes Toki on YouTube deep dives about space, Toki chatters for hours about the vehicles his models are based on. They also like to get outside frequently and explore the grounds, especially when the weather cools. They've taken up running! Skwisgaar can't match Toki's mileage but he's getting there.

Who’s better at comforting the other?

Skwisgaar has had years of practice bringing Toki out of the Punishment Hole and has mastered the art of soothing him and making him feel safe. Toki can get a little overwhelmed trying to return the favor, only because Skwisgaar bottles everything up until he's practically at his breaking point before seeking comfort. He's learned that a weighted blanket and a hairbrush are essential tools.

Who’s more protective?

Skwisgaar has been looking out for Toki since day one, but if we're talking about extremes, Toki would knock a man's head off if Skwisgaar was threatened.

Do they prefer verbal or physical affection?

They both thrive on physical affection. Skwisgaar likes the feeling of being close and intimate without expectation of more, and Toki can't get enough of someone touching him lovingly rather than with intent to harm. It's why they're constantly in contact, grounding each other and affirming their devotion for one another.

Also, Toki has a praise kink byeeeee

What are some songs that apply to their relationship, in-universe or otherwise?

I'm terrible at this so I'll just share a few from my skwistok playlist. Flowers on the Grave by The Maine, Walk You Home by Karmina, Undisclosed Desires by Muse

What kind of nicknames do they call each other?

Dildoes They're not that big on pet names, outside of älskling/elskede, though Toki might sneak a 'babe' in sometimes.

Who remembers the little things?

Toki is more sentimental and probably has lots of tiny anniversaries marked out. First time holding hands, first time they watched Skwisgaar's favorite movie together (it was a marathon of all three Lord of the Rings), first time Skwisgaar let him use some of his boutique hair treatments instead of his own Pert Plus. He makes cards for each occasion. Skwisgaar keeps them all.