#// No matter the verse with them: it's always fun to poke XD

[alexandraxsuoh]

"Explain me why in hell my kitchen is an absolute mess."

"Wait, what have I done this time?!"

[thehereticaldeserthermit]

𝕆𝕦𝕥 𝕆𝕗 ℂ𝕙𝕒𝕣𝕒𝕔𝕥𝕖𝕣 ℚ𝕦𝕖𝕤𝕥𝕚𝕠𝕟𝕤

ROLE PLAYER GET TO KNOW YOU PROMPT

Alright TDC Community It’s time for a task, 

and this time we’re all going to get to know each other a little better. 

Under the cut, you’ll find forty out of character questions split into two parts: OOC about your muses, and OOC about yourself! Answer what you’d like, add more if you’d like.

When you’re done TAG some of your writing partners and keep FUN going. 

-there is no pressure to participate

-IF You Are Reading This And You’d Like To Participate Consider Yourself Tagged My Friend! 

Much Love,

TheJesseWhoLurks

I tag @lyr-taxidermist  @theghostofharar  @hurdygurdyskeksis  @urskekyagvi  @skekmal-the-hunter  @skekso-the-emperor  @gourdplayer   @hedonistschambers  @ulvanmaudra  @littlebluezoologist @the-wandering-urru  @queenofthetides  @juliejewel24 @thecastleurru

OOC About  Your Character(s)

1.     What do you want to get out of playing this character(s)?

The reason I wanted to write for Gra was to meet fellow fans that loved the world of TDC as much as I do, I wanted to find fellow writers. I wanted to steep myself in the fandom. You can easily consider me skeKSis obsessed but I am growing a fondness for their counterparts -slowly ❤

2.     Describe your character(s) with three words.

Passionate | Erratic | Trustworthy

3.     What made you decide to write this muse?

Originally I was going to pick up The Ritual Master, he’d been my OG fav from the movie BUT Gra kept ... poking me with his scepter? Like; I live in the desert, you live in the desert, Ima recluse, you’re a recluse =we are simpatico. I think The Heretic picked me because he simply would not leave my mind when I considered him as a possibility. 

4.     If you could change one event in your muse’s life (in their main or canon verse), what would you change?

Canon. I mean they left us kinda hanging there. We really do not know what happened do we? They are simply, just not there anymore. I do not want them to perish, I want them to make it to the finish line and become urSkek. It breaks my heart to think they did not make it.

5.     If you could tell your muse one thing, what would you tell them?

I would not say anything, just hug him REALLY tightly and probably not let go until he gives me a chitter-laugh.

6.     If you could give your muse one gift, what would you give them?

I would like to give them...ME. 

7.     If you had to take one positive thing away from your muse, what would you take away?

I do not want to take a positive thing from the fibers that make up Gra. I feel they are very interwoven in his tale. Removing one would make another untether. If I could take away or diminish a bad trait Id have him not be so stubborn and or impatient but then again he would not be Gra now would he?  

8.     If you could “borrow” one aspect of your muse and apply it to yourself or your own life, what would you borrow?

His determination, passion. Damn son. You get things done. 

9.     Do you genuinely want your muse to be happy? What do you think would make them most happy in life?

Yes. He’s gotten his ass handed to him, I think he might be owed a slice of peace and happiness.  What makes him most happy? He’s already showed me; his relationships whether its friendship, extended family or a lover those are treasures he holds near and dear to his heart.  

10. Do you enjoy putting your muse through angst? What do you think would break their heart the most?

Usually I prefer to plot out angst rather then let it completely run a-muck because you never know what your partner is comfortable with, what might trigger them in a detrimental way and simply set fire to a plot unintentionally. 

I already know; it literally is ... break his heart. 

11. What do you love about your muse?

His dynamic energy, the wild fire, the mystical chaos, the creativity is off the charts. His sharp distinguished features, the way he looks shamanistically feral as compared to his brethren and their Garthic garb. His use of the color red. His scratchy rasp of a voice. His laugh. 

12. What do you hate about your muse?

He is a high maintenance muse, he is demanding and screeches loudly for what he wants. 

13. What about your muse amuses you?

The fact that he is a skeKSis. This brings a whole slew of challenges to the table for a writer. Case in point, I was writing a reply one day and I went to put something in along the lines of ‘he arched his brow and blah blah’ THEN he hit me! He has no eyebrows to arch, ahhh! I have to stop and think about how to write out expressive traits or reactions that are not of the usual human reaction tone.

14. What about your muse makes you sad? 

How fragile his heart really is after all the shit he’s endeared. 

15. How would you describe your muse to someone about to meet them, in person, for the first time?

Get Ready For A Wild SURPRISE!

16. Would you like your muse as a person if you met them in real life?

Yes, I like creative souls. I cherish them. 

17. In what ways are you better than your muse? In what ways are they better than you?

I do not think I am or he is better than the other. 

But I will say he is a handsome devil, for a skeKSis. 

18. Why do you think you connect to your muse?

Creative. Outcast. 

19. What aspect of your muse’s personality is most important to you? What aspect of your muse’s personality do you think is most important to them? Is it the same? Why or why not?

His passion and drive. I’d say its the same answer for us both. All of the accomplishments he tackled probably had their stacks of obstacles with each to-do. You’d have to have an unending supply of passion and drive to keep going, to complete all. He really is a work-a-holic and a busy body skek.

20. Has your character(s) changed over the time that you have been playing them? How have they changed?

Not yet but I am sure he will, creative liberties will be taken since I only have a a episode or two to work with -am I right? 

About You!

1.     What is your name? 

Jesse. 

2.     What is your profession?

secret shit. 

3.     What do you do to relax?

I write. Play video games. Naps are divine. Hot coffee and watch YT videos. DOodle. Desert combing walks. Long hot baths. Organize things xD

4.     What is your favorite treat (desert)?

All kinds, I’m not picky. I love me some chocolate lately. 

5.     Favorite movie

Too many to list. Its October right now. All I want is Hocus Pocus, some Harry Potter and Practical Magick at the moment. Tis the season. 

6.     Favorite book

I do not think I have a favorite. BUT I will admit that I have a copy of The Dark Crystal that I STOLE FROM A LIBRARY YEARS AGO! I have kept it all this time, its falling apart and its aged with beauty and I adore it  ❤ I also have a Jim Henson book about puppetry and his works, there is a page from TDC and if my memory serves me right it has the concept art of skekGra in it sooo sooo I was looking at skekGra YEARS AGO AND HAD NO CLUE the conjunction that would line up in the future! I really neeed to go find this book but its in a storage shed that will be a fresh hell to get to =[ *

7.     Favorite vacation spot

Anywhere where its either very green and or by some body of water. Ocean, river, lake. Yes, good. -not very many humans around save for present company reading thiiiis. 

8.     Favorite Disney movie

Are you kidding me? Too many to list, although I will say The Sword In The Stone did play a part in Gra’s Crystal Skimmer named Archimedes after the grouchy old owl. 

9.     How did you first get into role playing?

Years ago. I started writing on face book. I wrote for a pirate believe it or not, he was my first muse and he holds special place in my black heart and probably always will. But I am disinclined to acquiesce the gift of further details about this scurvy cursed muse, Ha!

10. What was your first platform? If it was something other than Tumblr, what made you get into Tumblr?

It was face book, before they got all crazy about accounts and security. I moved over to tumblr because writers were incredibly rude and rapid fire RP-ers. One liner sentences and I’m like NOPE I need a novel length. 

11. What’s a grammar rule you find yourself breaking or ignoring a lot?

Sometimes I have a touch of dyslexia, sometimes I typo, sometimes I am too tired to proof read, sometimes I make blunders. But I tend to focus on my mistakes rather then other peoples. I just go with the flow, I just write no matter what their level of ‘proper grammar’ IS because I’d like to think that maybe they are just starting out, maybe they will fall in love with writing and maybe they will be the next author who creates a world we all fall in love with and want to immerse ourselves in.  

12. Are there any languages besides English in which you think you could comfortably roleplay?

I do not RP in other languages. However I did have a muse at one time who was French, I would throw in little phrases but it was never entirely done in French and I do have a British muse at the moment, so again I will use slang and little sayings to make them well rounded as best as I can. Those are just little details I like to include that many others might skip on but I thrive for deets. 

I do however have role play writing partners that are from ALL over the world which is amazing to me. 

13. Do you listen to music while your write?

ALOT. I have tracks specifically for skekGra, that take me to his frame of mind. Even TDC soundtrack at times, the puppet show song and the blue flame part 2 are on replay a lot. 

14. Are you a morning, day, evening, or night writer?

I am all over the place. My life is very hectic. I’d like to say its usually in the afternoon of evening for me, the house is settled down and things are silent but thats not always how it works out. Oftentimes I will sit down and write a reply or two, then dip to do mundane human things that adults do, then return back for a few more replies. 

15. How does tiredness affect your writing?

Kills it. The weekends I work long hours therefor my brain is like WHAAAT. 

16. What is your biggest obstacle to writing every day, if time doesn’t count?

It is always TIME. Sometimes stress levels can be an obstacle too, no lie. If something major is going on, I just throw my hands up like ‘I got nothin’’ and thats that.

17. How many drafts is a paralyzing amount?

Oh damn. Been there done that. I am much more picky about it nowadays. I try to limit skekGra to a certain number of replies because he also has to allow room for other muses. 

Currently: Gra has ten replies on tumblr -no actually 11 &&& 4 on discord. I am two shakes away from cutting HIM OFF! lol. 

18. Is there anything character-wise or writing style-wise that you can’t stand?

I’m open to different characters, I have written with a lot. I love a writer who has style, I appreciate the effort.  

Etiquette, manners and consideration are oftentimes LACKING as of late. 

19. What kind of anonymous questions are your favorite?

ANYTHING as long as it is not anon HATE. 

20. What is your weakest point in writing? Angst, fluff, dialogue, etc.?

T I M E not having enough time to write the angst fluff and dialogue, smut too lets be real. It really is a bummer to me when I  do not have the time, I work, I have a a lotta responsibilities, my life is like a hurricane a lot of the time so TIME is my weakness, oftentimes I am super J E L L O of people who are online all day, every day, always there I’m envious and I get writers FOMO which makes me laugh but its so damn true I could ugly laugh cry about it. 

[antihero-writings]

No Where Else I’d Rather Be—Pandora Hearts fic for Phmonth19 Day 5: Remembrance

Notes: This was written for the Phmonth19 prompt “Remembrance” in addition to the first verse + chorus of the song “For Forever” from Dear Evan Hansen (I’ll put a link to the song in the replies). 

This fic was originally supposed to be much longer (I would have gone through the whole song), and it would have fit the remembrance prompt much better... I may still finish it at some point, but this was all I had time to write for Golden Trio week this year. I rather enjoyed what I had, though, so I decided to post it anyways! But it was written pretty fast, so please forgive any silly mistakes XD

Oh, also, this is supposed to take place in the 80s! I decided to pick a decade other than our current one for fun!

Fic:

“I don’t believe in absolutes.”

“I know. But wouldn’t it be great if at least one thing was?”

Forever. Such a simple, too-big concept. You can throw the word around with ease in conversation, but feel like your head might explode if you try to wrap your thoughts around it’s true meaning for a mere moment. It’s hard to comprehend, no matter just how many centuries you’ve been alive. How much you’ve lived. How much you’ve forgotten.

But a moment, that’s easy. A moment is now. Now and gone. A moment is tomorrow. A moment is yesterday. A moment is today.

It’s easy to forget that…that’s all forever is; just a series of moments. A string of todays on a necklace of tomorrows. But in the end, when the number of moments gets too high, they become jumbled, they fuse together, they get pulled and taut, the fall off the chain.

But then there are others, pendants that shine amongst all the bland links… moments you’ll never forget.

It’s the tiny moments that make forever count.

*****

“Oz! Oz! Listen to me when I’m talking to you!”

“What?! What?!” Oz ripped out his headphones, spinning to the driver, “You said I could listen to music!”

“I said you could listen to music, that doesn’t mean you can stop paying attention entirely!”

“Well if you’d let me play it in the car I wouldn’t have to ignore you to listen to it!”

“That’s because what you call ‘music’ hurts my head!”  

“What, quality music hurts your head?”

“Ooh, what’s that?!” Alice poked her head in between them from the back seat—(she had never been quite satisfied about being forced to sit in the back, but Oz had called shotgun)—pointing to an animal in a pasture beside the road. “It looks like it would be good to eat!”

“You don’t know what a cow is, stupid rabbit?!”

“That’s a steak?!” She blinked. “Lemme eat it! Lemme eat it!”

“Not now, Alice!” Oz had to pull her down, keeping her from jumping out the car to attack the innocent livestock. When Oz had sufficiently talked her down from the edge, he turned back to his friend,

“What did you want to talk to me about, Gil?”

“Nevermind, it…doesn’t matter now.”

Oz glared at him as he put his earbuds back in, sighing, watching the greenery go by.

A simple trip to go get ice cream was proving more trouble than it was worth.

A lot of things proved more trouble than they were worth when it came to Oz and Alice nowadays. Alice had always been known to find the simplest of things strange and fascinating, but this was another level; they could barely walk two feet without one of the two stopping to admire a newspaper stand, or pointing at a parking meter and asking what that was, or picking up a candy wrapper in a sewage grate and asking what this strange object was, or even pulling at his coattails to ask about a particularly funny looking bird (that last one was Alice).

Still, even if it was annoying, he couldn’t fault them too much; returning to the world after a hundred-year absence was bound to do that to you.

Gilbert had wanted to introduce them to another, particularly yummy modern thing; ice cream. But, only a few miles out from the house and he already had half a mind to turn around.          

But only half.

The wind brushed through their hair, picking up the empty sleeve of Gil’s jacket as they drove down the road, winding in and out of evergreens.

Gilbert owned a much safer, less cool car, but when his two best friends saw the other car in his possession there was no turning back. It was a recent acquisition, as it was Vincent’s old car, which he wouldn’t trust to anyone else (…and he didn’t completely trust Gil with either), and Gilbert had done everything in his power to hide it from them, knowing how they would react. They had finally begun to grasp the concept of cars, and so peeked under the tarp, then proceeded to gasp and throw it off at the sight of a shiny, red, convertible mustang. All they had to do then was hug Gilbert’s ankles, and beg in the highest of voices for him to take them for a ride in it.

So here they were, sometime in early June, driving down a country road, bickering about music and cows.

A picture perfect afternoon.

Gilbert looked over at his best friend in his sweatshirt and ripped jeans, tapping his leg—to what could be anything from Michael Jackson, to Journey, to Black Sabbath—his golden hair flickering in the afternoon light, and felt his lips curve into a slight smile.

They arrived at the ice cream parlor half hour past when he originally thought they’d arrive, due to this and other distractions, (such as Alice stopping to intimidate a squirrel who “looked like it was askin’ for trouble.”)

The bell on the door jangled as they walked in, the brightness of the turquoise walls matched only by the assortment of hues of the frozen treats themselves, as well as the other candy toppings on the counter.

Oz’s green eyes glittered with stars as they fell upon the list of flavors, and the physical manifestation of this thing he’d only heard stories of. “Wow, there’s so many! How do you choose?”

Gilbert shrugged. He had explained what it was before they arrived, but they often still had trouble understanding until they arrived.

Alice was…less impressed.

“Where’s the meat?” She looked around a finger to her chin.

“There is no meat, Alice,” Oz put his arm around her, “It’s sweet!”

“What kind of lame ass food-shop doesn’t have meat?!”

“Not so loud Alice.” Oz murmured, glancing around and smiling awkwardly at the people sitting the little tables around, who had turned to stare. “Why don’t you just try it? You might like it!”

Alice grumbled…so did her stomach.

“If you hate it, Gilbert will take you for the biggest piece of meat we can find.”

“I’ll what now?”

“Now we’re talkin’!” Alice marched happily up to the counter.

Three cones later—one vanilla, one strawberry (because it looked the most like meat), and the last with three scoops, the first peanut butter, the second chocolate, the third banana, all covered in extra fudge and sprinkles (Gilbert warned Oz it would make him sick, but he got it always)—and they headed off to the park nearby, licking—(they had to stop Alice from biting hers at first)—their treats as they strolled along the sidewalk, chatting about trivial things.

“This is… nice,” Oz said softly as they sat in the grass, gazing up at the endless blue sky, glancing every once and a while to check on Alice as she ran at ducks in the pond nearby.

Gilbert nodded. “Mmm. I told you you’d like it, didn’t I?”

“No I mean…this.” He picked at the grass, “Being here, with you two…” He looked up into the sky, as if his gaze found a place far from what was actually there, “It’s just…” he turned to Gilbert, and his eyes set, “There’s no where else I’d rather be.”

Gilbert remembered him say those words a long time ago, and felt a smile tug at his lips, in addition to tears at his eyes.

Oz had no idea. No idea how long Gilbert had waited for him to come back. Just how long he had waited, with nothing but a memory of those words to keep him going. How long a hundred years felt without moments like this. That the hours dragged on without any perfect afternoons—because even the most beautiful of afternoons could never be perfect without his best friends in it. Oz had no idea just how deeply he felt the next words,

“Yeah. Me too.”

[kusunokihimea]

                                                  [ Art || Background ]

     [ Hey y’all! So uh...while this iteration of my dinky blog isn’t three years old, I have been lurking around this site in total (for RP) for three years now, as of...technically yesterday, eh heh. And good golly there has been a LOTTA growth since then. My muses and I have come a looong way, in regards to writing, editing, and getting to know so many people over the course of three years. Some have come and gone, and some have stayed...though few since those beginning days when Sylvie had NO idea what they were doing, ha!

     And though I’ve only recently gone through my second revamp, there’s still a gaggle a’y’all that have stuck around. Some even from those very beginning days. So, I’d like to take a minute to just...gush about some of ya, cuz you’ve made being in this community fun, welcoming, and honestly like a second family to us. While I don’t have time to ramble about EVERYONE, I’m gonna do my darnedest to do as much as I can, and just...say thank you for making me able to stay this long, and have as much fun as I’ve had. It means the world to me <3

     Now, on to the ramblin’! Under a cut, cuz...it’s probably gonna get long xD Still, I’ll try to be brief so it doesn’t get too out of control, lmao ]

     [ The Fam Jam ]

     So these are the peeps that have stuck by me through thick, thin, and many blog changes xD Those who have consistently interacted with us, and have developed amazing bonds between muns and muses alike. <3

@13lilypetals - Little sib Ghost. Fellow SH trash. Also a multimuse juggler. You’ve been someone who’s become a close friend, wonderful RP partner, and a great member of the community as a whole. Keep up the awesome work!

@ascxndinggg Matt, my son, darling baby boy =P With such a creative, intelligent mind, wonderful diverse muses, and one of the few things keeping me sane both on this hellsite, and in life in general. Love you bud.

@duckbuttavenger / @cutelittlemuffins / @straycatanbu Sanjiii, such a sweetheart. I love your beans, and I love you! You’re always a blast to write with, even if we know some muses better than others. They’re all 11/10!

@despairinghxpe / @masterofwar Phoenix, omg I’m so glad you’re back. I’ve had some of my most in-depth threads with you and your boyos. I always look forward to your replies. And you’re such a darling - always a joy to talk to ooc about our beans!

@gentlegraceful-and-fatal Dani, I know you’re not on much anymore, and I hope life’s not kickin’ your butt too hard. You put so much love into your muses, and I love when they interact with mine. Here’s hoping you can creep around more soon enough x3

@frogprinceus / @redlineoffate / @red-winged-hero-hawks Omg Mitsuki where do I even start with you xD You have such a wonderful cast of muses, so many of which have bonded so wonderfully with mine. I always enjoy our interactions, no matter what combo of beans!

@flakclad I know you’re not on too much anymore Rhi, but I still love your boys (tho I think this is the only one I’m currently following after remaking, whoops). You give them such wonderful personalities, and I love writing with them any day of the week.

@yukaikokoro Another OC bean! Star oh my goodness, you’re such a great friend and writing partner - you let me drown you in all my OG verse shenanigans, and I love it xD

@twojackalsandahedgie Apricot! I’ve stalked you around through a few blogs now, haha! You’re such a sweetheart, and your muses are great. I can’t wait to see how your blog takes shape once it’s even MORE of a multimuse!

@hotmessofmuses I’ve loved all our threads, Bailey - you write all your muses so well, and I’ve been so psyched to get to interact with them, especially in the famjam verses. It’s so much fun. And good luck with all you’re doing irl!

@roaringxflames Lief dear, I know you’re not active much anymore, but I just want you to know I’ve enjoyed all of our interactions, here and on other bloggus. I hope life is treating you well, and you find greener pastures in new fandoms :3

@cinderspewed / @bitebxck Oh goodness Verona, you’re just! Such a cool person, and your muse is so dynamic and intriguing and drives my marshmallow nuts xD I hope school isn’t crushing your soul too badly, haha! Good fortune, friend!

@kyuuzuchiha / @thebubbledome / @xkaekox BOOOOO I LOVE YOUR BEANS. I know that feel about having trouble writing/catching up lately, but! No matter your pace, we love writing with you, and I hope you find your groove soon!

@quiet-kunoichi Ahaha, Jack, another fellow OC bean. I love your muse. I think you know that but just to be sure, lemme say it again. And you’re great. You’re both great. I love ya. And I hope you’re well!

@abyssaldespair Meeeg...your boyo has stolen my gorl xD We’ve had so many shenanigans since we met I can’t count them, but gosh you’re so fun to write with, and even tho you’ve abandoned me (jk, jk), I still love writing our babbs in drabbles. I will sink with this ship xD

@wanderingmelodies MEEEY I know you’re super swamped but I hope you know I love ya and your beans and I hope you get your zine work done! Good luck and stuff, and hopefully life lets up for you soon, dear!

@multicanon-rp Bruh, I love your Itachi (and I’ve seen snippets of your other beans, they’re great!). It’s been so much fun to see him and Ryū get to know each other from that initial drama. I love writing with ya!

@hushedsunflower *squints at* Who even is this nerd? Oh right, you’re the one responsible for me even being here! Not to mention one of my oldest friends, nbd =P I love your Hina, and I’m glad you’ve gotten back into RP, my friend~

     [ The Inspirations ]

     These are the ones I’ve maybe not RPed with as much as I’d like, but who inspire me to be better in my writing, my lore creation, and characterization! <3

@hyugainterior / @clanburden Your storytelling skill just...blows my mind, holy smokes. Though I miss bits and pieces, your narrative on HI has been enrapturing, and I always try to catch all the drabbles. I never know what’s gonna happen next, but I can’t look away - it’s like a beautiful, horrible car crash! With Hinata in the driver’s seat!

@sennenryuu / @raikirisms N, your OC is just...so amazingly in-depth. As someone who adores making lore and characters, yours has been one I’ve looked up to since being introduced to your blog. And don’t even get me started on your Kakashi, or how beautiful your art is, my goodness. I love it all!

@houndnin / @mactabilis A blast from the past! I know you’re uber busy so you prolly won’t see this, but omg your muses are the bee’s knees. Another well-crafted OC, and an awesome take on Kakashi. Definitely a blog that inspires me to keep improving!

@masshirohebi Oh goodness, this blog is one I’ve looked up to for a long time. You write Orochimaru so beautifully. They’re so intricate and full of life and detail. Your replies are so well put-together, it always blows me away. I know our interactions have been brief, but I’ve enjoyed them so much!

     [ The Neat Beans ]

     Those on the ‘outer fringe’ - maybe we’ve poked at each other’s muses once or twice, but we’re still workin’ on getting muses to know each other - here’s to more! <3

     ~*~ @silverfaxg ~*~ @ketsuekki ~*~ @i-minato-chan ~*~ @kotoanatsukami ~*~ @crackuzu ~*~ @the-younger-umino ~*~ @origami-goddess ~*~ @inumbratte / @willsoffire / @leafstruck ~*~

     [ The Lurkers ]

     And last (but certainly not least), the beans I’ve not really talked to, but appreciate for bein’ around nonetheless! Never be afraid to say hi <3

     ~*~ @betterhealing ~*~ @tennome ~*~ @hiramekxrei ~*~ @tentaiiled / @sandsharrk ~*~ @dirt-ninja ~*~ @strengthwilled ~*~ @silentyoru ~*~ @blossomfury ~*~ @inotheflower ~*~ @cxmpetitivecaptain ~*~ @malacusleana ~*~ @granddiviner ~*~ @avengeriiism ~*~ @xchidoriisms ~*~

     All right, I really hope that’s everyone - my following list is still rather short after the move, so I wanted to at least give everyone a mention and a lil thank you. Here’s to another three years, fates allowing! Thank you all again for your support - it means the world <3

[ineverhadmyinternetphase]

Meet me in the morning sun (QPR verse)

AO3 Link

Genre: Oneshot, Queerplatonic relationship, exploring the nature of this slowly whilst sticking as close to reality/canon as possible

Summary: Fiction. Dan’s moving to Manchester

Warnings: Extreme lack of plot, some discussions of difficulties surrounding being in a QPR

Word Count: 2k

A/N: Oops I wrote more of this instead of any of my actual projects xD

---

Dan was coming to his city.

Dan was coming to his city.

It still didn’t quite feel real. These past few months, they’d hurt because of the distance, because of knowing Dan was real and good and his but far away, distant, difficult to remember when he was out of Phil’s arms.

But today was the day, Dan was arriving, and nothing could feel better than that.

Phil wandered up and down the living room of his flat, the one that was small but still somehow felt too big when he was in it alone. Dan had stayed here a lot already, despite the fact that Phil had only moved here a month ago. In fact, it was kind of ridiculous that Phil was feeling nervous at all. He’d literally last seen Dan three days ago, when Dan left to scurry home to pack for properly moving here. They’d barely been apart at all.

But it still felt like too long.

Things between them were still being ironed out. Exactly what they were was hard to put a finger on, but Phil knew without a doubt that Dan would be important in his life, and he would have a place in Dan’s, too. They’d talked about it extensively, and talked themselves into circles more often than not. It was easier in person. Skype talks were the hardest.

Skype talks where Dan would grow sad and tired, eyes dim at 3am, talking himself out of things. He talked a lot, talked around his problems, and Phil was happy to sit and listen even if he didn’t feel like he had too much to offer.

“Like, what even are we?” Dan had asked earlier, in the beginning, in the early days after the Halloween gathering when Phil had still been at his parents’ house. “You’re not my boyfriend. You’re a friend, sure, but you’re something else too. I don’t know what to call it.”

“I know,” Phil agreed softly. “I don’t know if there’s a word for it, actually.”

“Well, we can’t be the only ones.” Dan’s brow furrowed a little, his focus shifting. There was the sound of him clicking onto another tab. “Can I ask you something?”

Phil smiled, pulling his laptop closer to his face. “We already established you can ask me anything.”

“Yeah,” Dan answered, monotone. He was doing that thing where he wouldn’t directly meet Phil’s eyes, which Phil had come to learn meant he was probably extra nervous about whatever he was about to say. “Would it... would it bother you if I’d done some research?”

Phil tilted his head, inquisitive. “Research?”

“Just, like,” Dan shifted awkwardly. “On google. Looking up what to call it. Not, like, for us necessarily. I just want to know what the other people on the internet are saying. Like, if it’s… you know, what it is, exactly.”

Phil knew the underlying meaning of his words, now, from his place of privilege several months later. Dan meant he needed to look up whether or not a relationship like theirs was even a real thing, whether or not he was allowed to have it, if other people would look down on them for it. This kind of thing bothered Dan a lot, Phil had learned. Whether or not other people would tear him down for something he wanted.

It came from his past, Phil knew. But he didn’t ask too much. Dan would tell him when he was ready, and they had their whole futures for that.

“Our relationship is whatever we want it to be,” Phil reminded Dan, in various ways, across the next few months. When Dan met him at the train station for the first time after the Halloween gathering and immediately tried to kiss him. Phil had been a little taken aback, but they’d tried it once before, so he sort of went along with it until Dan leaned back with a slightly disgusted look on his face.

“And some people actually enjoy that?” He’d said, the first thing spoken aloud to Phil.

Phil snorted. Which turned into a laugh. Which turned into a round of hiccoughs that didn’t go away for the next couple of hours. Cue Dan poking fun at him for the whole rest of the day.

The last few months, they’d been trying. It would have been easier if Dan was closer, Phil was sure, and even though they’d seen each other a ridiculous amount (aside from the horrible time that Dan was in India with questionable wifi and even more questionable phone signal, but thy didn’t talk about that) there still wasn’t much they could do to really sort things out. Sporadic visits spent wrapped in each other’s’ arms didn’t do much to quell either of their nerves.

Dan about what they were. Phil about what they might become.

He could see it, from the minute Dan accepted his place at Manchester uni – a possible future for them, stretching out, quiet days with Dan studying and Phil working, fun making videos together, doing outside jobs, trips out to the city together that didn’t feel like there was a constant clock hanging over their heads counting down their remaining time together.

Dan didn’t share much of his research with Phil, if he’d done any of it. But he also didn’t try to kiss Phil again. Instead, any time they did spend together was held indoors mostly, wrapped up in Phil’s blue and green duvet, sipping hot drinks in starbucks, staring at each other for probably too long, holding hands whenever possible.

Dan was clingy when they were alone, a little more guarded in public. Out on the streets he’d hold Phil’s hand but make loud jokes about what the people on the internet would think if they could see them together, a touch of discomfort behind his tone that Phil didn’t know how to quiet. He didn’t like it either, the things people assumed. Not many people, certainly not all of them, just the few odd comments that mentioned things like Dan’s dailybooths and Phil’s earlier, flirtatious videos. Things the two of them weren’t comfortable with, but didn’t quite know how to voice.

At least when they were together, those things didn’t matter at all.

Phil was doing his best to remember that now, as he paced around his flat feeling like he couldn’t get out. He couldn’t even go and meet Dan this time, had no real idea where Dan was right now. In a car packed full of stuff somewhere on the M60, probably, with his parents and his grandma who’d insisted on coming. Phil had spoken to her on Skype several times when she’d insisted on joining in Dan’s conversations. She’d called him a nice young man. Dan had glowed when she said it, said, “He is, isn’t he,” all with the fondest look on his face.

It hurt Phil’s heart a little to think of.

Dan, coming closer. But permanently this time. With his parents, and Dan was still iffy about Phil meeting them, his two worlds colliding, so Phil was keeping his respectful distance. Besides, he wanted to jump on Dan and hug him without watching eyes, and he wasn’t honestly sure he could keep his hands off at this point.

After three days. It was ridiculous. Dan had only gone home to pack, had basically been living with Phil for the past month anyway. But Phil had been spoiled by the closeness. It made the distance even more difficult to handle this time.

It was sweetened a little by the knowledge that this time, when he met Dan, he wouldn’t have to say goodbye.

Just then, Phil’s phone buzzed with a text.

Dan: heading into Manchester rn >.< so excited/nervous

Phil smiled, his grip tightening around his phone. He knew the feeling. He’d paced literal circles into the floor of his living room, nervous for some reason he didn’t even fully understand. He texted back quickly, feeling his pulse pick up at even that tiny bit of interaction. It was ridiculous. Phil didn’t really do feelings like this, never had in the past.

Phil: nervecited. And same <3 let me know when you arrive safe?

The reply only took seconds to come through

Dan: don’t worry I will literally can’t wait (also can I come over like as soon as parents have left halls look grim)

Phil’s smile grew as he texted back of course pls come over asap. His heart took this as motivation to start thumping away extra-loudly in his chest, though, which Phil thought was a bit much really. Feelings like this just didn’t exist for him. It had always been a cliché, something he read about but didn’t relate to. Until Dan came along.

It was strange. Phil hadn’t been prepared for meeting him at all, when he’d first sent Dan a dm after all the comments and tweets and posts had been going on. He hadn’t been prepared at all for the first picture he saw of Dan, or the first time they skyped, or getting to know him slowly over the days and weeks and months had led them here. He hadn’t know, making those first early videos, that Dan would sit and watch them and love them enough to try and get Phil’s attention. He didn’t know what was waiting for him.

It made him excited for what the future might hold. It also made him exceptionally grateful for everything he’d gained that year.

The months of Dan visiting had been wonderful, getting to see Dan, to hold him, to hug him. Having Dan hug and hold him back. But it had always been with a time limit. Not after today. Phil still didn’t fully know what to make of that, exactly how that would feel.

Were they even ready for this? Did everyone freak out this much over a significant other arriving in the same place? Phil had no frame of reference, never having had someone like this in all his twenty three years of life. And Dan was so much younger. Did either of them really know what they were doing? This was kind of a big step. How on earth were they going to know if they were ready?

Phil was shaken out of his thoughts, however many minutes later, by another text.

Dan: here now. Unpacking. Will let you know when I’m on my way over

But before he could reply, another one came through, this time from PJ. Phil arched a brow, but then sighed a little at the message.

PJ: today’s the big move day? Be careful xx

Phil knew PJ still only wanted what was best for him. And PJ had grown much more pleased with the relationship Phil had built with Dan over these past few months, even if he still wasn’t entirely approving. But he’d only met Dan a handful of times. Phil knew Dan inside out and back to front by this point, even if there was still a lot to learn. He knew Dan wasn’t some creepy stalker out to get him for views and money.

(Well, maybe Dan was a bit of a stalker, but a harmless one. A desired one, even).

PJ, however, was just looking out for Phil, and had his reservations over Dan’s true motives. Phil expected they would go away with time, which hopefully he and Dan would have now. Everything would solidify. Wouldn’t it? Or would it disintegrate with proximity?

Somehow, Phil doubted it. Everything within him ached to be near Dan.

He texted back PJ.

Phil: dw I’ve got it covered. Everything is good xx

And then Dan, with a bit more of a smile.

Phil: can’t come soon enough <3

Then he went back to pacing his flat.

It was somehow more difficult, knowing Dan was right there, in his city, so close yet still so far away. Phil had never felt more alone and less alone simultaneously. Dan was so close, almost within his reach, so tantalisingly close to never having to say goodbye to Phil again. But he couldn’t have him yet. Not completely.

Besides, Dan was moving into uni halls. The possibility of him not even wanting to hang around Phil that much had cropped up occasionally in Phil’s mind. Besides, shouldn’t Phil want Dan to go to uni? To have a normal uni experience with the other people on his course? And he did want that for Dan. Just, selfishly, Phil wanted to keep him to himself, too.

He didn’t think he had too much to worry about. Dan was nervous about this next step, and Phil was something stable, he’d told Phil before. With Phil, Dan felt safe. He was likely to cling to that even more as uni got scary and hard. Phil would be there, always, and maybe he could help Dan to have his uni experience too.

Regardless, they would be together again. The nerves in Phil’s stomach jumped, but he felt strangely settled too. Soon he’d have Dan back in his arms again, and this time with no clock hanging over their heads.

His phone buzzed again.

Dan: parents just left on my way

Phil grinned, and just sent a bunch of heart emojis in response. And then went into ninja cleaning mode, because he just realised he didn’t have Dan’s favourite hot chocolate out of the cupboard yet and the kettle was still surrounded by packets of the numerous sweets Phil had consumed earlier.

When the buzzer for his flat went, Phil was over answering it as soon as possible, letting Dan in without even bothering to pick up the receiver. He knew who it would be, and his heart was fluttering in response.

Dan was coming up his stairs, Phil’s stomach curled over itself.

Dan was knocking on his door, Phil’s fingers started shaking.

He pulled open the door, Dan was waiting outside. Brown fringe slightly curling, eyes deep and dark and hopeful, gangly long limbs already slightly taller than Phil, awkward looking and oddly shy.

“Hi,” he said, smiling softly. “You can’t get rid of me this time.”

Phil shook his head, reached out, and pulled Dan into a hug. He breathed him in again, eyes closed, losing himself in the familiarity.

“You’re ridiculous, it’s been three days,” Dan chuckled, trying to sound sarcastic but mostly just sounding happy. And he held Phil back tightly, clinging on more than ever.

Phil lost himself in the feeling, delved in close as he could, buried himself in the knowledge of Dan being close again, and finally relaxed. The months of worrying over when this would happen, when he’d welcome Dan in and not have to say goodbye again, when the city he lived in would be a city they shared.

Phil held on tight, safe in the knowledge that this time he didn’t have to let go.

[archiveda]

What are Kveta's top 3 insecurities and her top 3 things she likes about herself? This is important.

Her top three insecurities?? Wow, that’s a tough one tbh. Cause she has way more than three. 

Her Worth: Ever since Kveta was little she was abused sexually and physically by those around her. And while she has endured quite a bit of trauma in her short life, her betrayal by her mother is probably one of the most damaging things to have happened to her. Kveta always wonders why? Why her? Why would her mother allow that sort of abuse to happen to her daughter? And is she worth anyone’s love or affection since she couldn’t ever be good enough for her own mother– the one person who was supposed to love her more than anyone else in the world. This issue of self-worth and self-loathing was greatly exacerbated when she was forced into prostitution in order to eat and take care of herself. She started drinking and doing drugs and now feels that she really is no better than her own mother. 

Her Accent: While her accent is quite thick and a combination of a lack of schooling, her environment, and her mother’s thick Slavic speech, Kveta is quite annoyed when anyone pokes fun at her accent. She will lash out and more than likely try to punch someone in the face. She feels that her accent is a direct representation of how fucked up she is, which she doesn’t like anyone talking about. 

Her scars: If you are able to get Kveta to open up to you, you will find that she has several small scars which litter her body from wear and tear from living on the streets. However, it is the large scar on her left rib cage which really bothers her. This is a scar from where she was stabbed by a group of girls after their boyfriends cheated on them with her, paying her to have sex with them. She was left for dead and she nearly did die (in fury verse, she does die). Not only does she find it ugly, but it is a physical reminder that she doesn’t matter. That, in the end, she will more than likely die alone in an alley with no one to remember her. 

The top three things she likes about herself?? Another tough one for like the exact opposite reason. Damn anon, you’re asking the real questions XD I love it! 

Her Eyes: Kveta actually thinks her eyes are fairly pretty. They are like sunshine shining through the leaves in Central Park on a warm autumn day. Or like motlen gold. They are lighter than her brother’s ever were, too. But they still remind her of how they lit up whenever he came to visit her. 

Her size: Despite being quite small physically, she has learned to use this to her advantage. When on the dash from either the authorities or from a shop she’s just robbed, it is easy for her to slip into a crowd and blend in. This has been useful on more than a single occasion. 

Her boldness?: She is not afraid to jump into any situation, regardless if it is dangerous or not. This is what makes life fun for her.