#// anyway lads i am so tired i just want some peace of mind i swear i'll get to dms soon but im just like.........

[hellguarded-moved]

// i don't have any funny caption for this one i made this yesterday at 2am. or today i guess. ft. @fanaticist again because i'm having fun with these frat boys

[veliseraptor]

Hey I was watching Thor 1 again last night and when I got to the part where Odin found Loki for the first time on Jotunheim I just thought of you since the canon we got was so short I was like, “you know what, I think Lise could actually describe this in a more detailed description,” so I was wondering if you could maybe give us a short baby! Loki and Odin headcanon where Odin found him as a frost giant baby in that temple, decided to take him in and how Frigga reacted when she first met Loki?

Foundling, 3.1k, odin pov, pre-canon, content warning for infant death, not sure if this is my definitive headcanon or not but it was fun to write, thanks to this fic for breaking up at least a little of the writing block I’ve been fighting for the last month, this is almost completely unedited just throwing it out there

The Jotun babe stopped crying almost immediately when Odin lifted him. He blinked, wide eyed, and went quiet. Blue skin changed to Aesir pink, and Odin almost dropped him.

He did not, and several things occurred to him at once.

Firstly, Odin did not know why Laufey would have abandoned his own son to die, but in doing so he had handed Odin an heir to Jotunheim.

Secondly, he was an heir who was a natural shapeshifter and, unless Odin was greatly mistaken, had the makings of a mage as well.

Thirdly, Odin had received word not two weeks past that Frigga had lost the baby she had been carrying and was suffering under the weight of her grief. Their unnamed child could not be replaced, but perhaps...

Fourthly, left alone, this babe would die, either of exposure - so young, he was not made to endure the cold of his native land for too long - or of hunger, or even at the hand of one of Odin’s own soldiers who would not care for his youth, only his blood.

And finally: Odin was, after this long and grueling war, very tired of death.

The decision was made.

“There you have it,” Odin murmured to the baby in his arms. “You are returning home with me.”

The baby closed his eyes and went to sleep. His empty eye socket throbbed, but a small smile tugged at the corner of Odin’s mouth.

It was possible, he considered ruefully, that he had made his decision the moment he’d lifted a crying baby from the ice, and worked backwards from there. But he could live with that.

**

Odin wrestled for a while over how to bring the babe back to Asgard unnoticed. There was no question that it needed to be unnoticed. Asking his people to accept their king adopting a Jotun child before a formal peace was even made would be too much.

In the end, he swaddled the babe (Loki, he already had a name unspoken in Odin’s mind) in some scraps of a banner, tucked him in a knapsack, and called the Bifrost to bring them home. The young watchman’s eyebrows twitched slightly as he watched Odin pass, but he said nothing. Good lad, Odin thought, and made a note to ensure that he was clear on the need to say nothing in the future, either.

It wasn’t until he had reached the palace and was standing outside the door to the room where Frigga was lying in that it occurred to him that Frigga might not accept a new baby so readily, even - or perhaps especially - after losing her own. What would he do if she rejected him? There were too few he could trust to care for a Jotun baby, and it was imperative for his future plans that he be kept close by.

Odin grimaced. He would just have to find some way to convince her. This would only work with her assent.

He tapped lightly on the door and waited until it opened. It was the new chief healer, who looked awfully young in comparison with Gudrun her predecessor, but by all accounts she was capable. Eir, he thought he remembered.

She seemed surprised to see him. “All-Father,” she said. “I did not hear word of your return. Your eye-”

“I have not returned, officially,” Odin said. “I wished to see Frigga with some privacy, first.” He paused, then lowered his voice and asked, “how is she?”

Eir pressed her lips together, then said, “physically, she is recovering well. But her heart is sore grieved.”

“And Thor?”

“Is well,” Eir said. “With his nurses, since Frigga took to her bed. She has been...reluctant to see him.”

That did not seem to bode well. Odin hesitated, wondering if there was some way of waiting to introduce the baby until Frigga was better.

With a truly spectacular sense of timing, Loki let out a gurgle and began to cry.

Eir’s eyes widened, going to the knapsack he was carefully cradling, and Odin cursed, shoving past her and into the room, pulling her in before closing the door firmly.

“What,” Eir began.

“You must say nothing of what you see here,” Odin interrupted. “Swear secrecy to me.”

“I swear,” she said immediately, without hesitation. Odin did not relax, waiting, and she added, “on the World Tree itself. Is there a baby in your bag, All-Father?”

Odin saw the knob on the inner door turn and could have cursed again. It opened and Frigga stood there in her dressing-gown, pale with dark-circles around her eyes, their usual brightness dulled. “Eir, I thought I heard…”

She trailed off, looking at him. He could see her taking in his eye, still swathed only in a field dressing, and then the knapsack cradled in his arms

“My husband,” she said, and did not sound entirely pleased. Odin glanced at Eir, who looked back at him with an expression of helpless confusion. Loki was still crying.

Odin set the bag down and drew out Loki, who, apparently now awake and indignant at having been transported thus, howled his displeasure. Eir gasped, and Frigga took a step back, her eyes widening as though he held a serpent.

“I found him abandoned on Jotunheim,” Odin said, before either of them could speak. “He would have died if I left him there.”

“So you…” Frigga trailed off, her eyes still fixed on the crying baby.

“Why was he there to begin with?” Eir asked. “An Aesir baby on Jotunheim-”

“He isn’t,” Odin said, trying to rock Loki as he’d rocked Thor, to soothe him. When both women looked at him, frowning, he said, “he isn’t Aesir. He is a shapeshifter. And Laufey’s son.”

Frigga continued to stare, though her blankness was rapidly turning toward something else. Toward anger. “And you want us - want me - to raise him as ours?”

“There is no one else,” Odin said, deciding that mention of his more political thoughts could wait until later.

“Our daughter is scarcely buried,” Frigga hissed, tears springing to her eyes, and green fire twisted around her clenched fists. “Did you know she was a daughter? She will never even receive her name. And you bring this, this foundling to me, as though she was a bauble to be replaced-”

“No,” Odin said. “I didn’t think-”

“Frigga turned her head away. “I hear her,” she said. “I hear her crying when I am half-asleep, somewhere close by. That is what I thought I heard when you came in.”

Odin cringed. “My love-”

“No,” she said. “No. Do not try to-” She took in a gulping breath, and turned on her heel, fleeing back into the room she had just emerged from and slamming the door. And Loki was still crying.

“Let me take him,” Eir said after a few moments of silence. Odin handed him wordlessly over and in her hands he settled, though not entirely. He still seemed agitated, anxious - or perhaps it was just Odin who was agitated and anxious.

“You will need that eye seen to,” Eir said, when he said nothing. “I will look after the babe-”

“Loki,” Odin said automatically, and did not react to Eir’s glance in his direction.

“After Loki,” she said smoothly. “For now.”

Odin sighed. “Thank you,” he said. It was not a permanent solution. Not even close. But until he could work out something more permanent...it was what he had.

**

He let the healers tend to his eye, covering it with a modest black patch for now, though he would have to have something more grand made to match his armor. He washed, changed his clothes, and went to find his son.

Thor seemed bigger than when Odin had last seen him even a few months before. He was on his feet and toddling toward Odin the moment he saw him with an enthusiastic “Pabbi!” and Odin knelt to lift him up into his arms.

“Have you been good to your nurses, my boy?” he asked.

“I have!” Thor said, and then reached out toward Odin’s face. “What happened to your eye? Did you hurt it?”

“Yes,” Odin said. “I’m afraid so.” Thor frowned, and Odin added, “A Frost Giant took it.” Thor’s eyes went wide, and Odin added, “he can have it! I only need one, anyway.”

Thor didn’t look wholly mollified, but his attention moved on quickly. “Can I see Amma now? And my baby brother?”

So he hadn’t been told, Odin thought unhappily. “Thor,” he began, and then stopped. If Frigga changed her mind - and she still might, he told himself insistently, she still might - Thor needed to believe that Loki was his natural born brother. A child his age would not be able to keep such a secret - and might be less likely to accept him knowing the truth. “Not yet,” he said. “Soon.”

Thor sulked, but not seriously, and not for long. He was young, and resilient, and his exuberance did Odin’s heart good. This war had brought back too many memories, none of them fond.

Thor tugged on his arm. “Did we win?” he asked, bright blue eyes wide. “Did we beat the Frost Giants?”

“Yes,” Odin said. “The fighting’s over. I’m home for good, now.”

Thor beamed. “Did you kill all of them?” he asked brightly, and Odin stopped dead for a moment. His thoughts flashed to the baby and he cleared his throat.

“No,” he said. “That wasn’t what we were trying to do. We just wanted them to go back to their Realm and stop attacking Midgard. And we did that. They’ve learned their lesson, and won’t do it again.”

Thor seemed a bit disappointed. “Oh,” he said. “All right.”

“Tell me what you’ve been up to,” Odin said as he set Thor down, eager to change the subject. “I’ve missed you, my boy.”

As Thor began to chatter, Odin imagined leaving Thor out in the cold, exposed to the elements, and felt a flash of anger. Laufey was a father undeserving of his son. Loki would be better off in Asgard.

**

When Thor began to flag, Odin turned him over to his nurse and went to find Eir. She had deposited Loki in a cradle in one of the birthing rooms, where he appeared to be asleep.

“How is he,” Odin asked, keeping his voice low.

“To all intents and purposes he appears to be Aesir, albeit with a temperature lower than normal for us,” she said. “But he won’t take formula, and I can’t exactly request a wet-nurse without raising questions.” She paused. “He is weak, and getting weaker.”

Odin blinked. “He seemed fine.”

“It may be the exposure catching up with him,” Eir said, “or the shock of a journey between worlds. Or simply hunger; we have no way of knowing how long he had been left there.” Odin moved over to the cradle and frowned down at him.

“What can be done?”

Eir shrugged. “I know nothing about Jotun infants, and however he appears, I fear that treating him like an Aesir baby might do more harm than good. I would say the most pressing issue right now is nutrition. We could force him to take it, but that has its own risks, and if he is refusing it might be for a reason.”

Odin rubbed his eyepatch where the socket was beginning to ache. “Could you try ordinary breastmilk? Make some excuse…”

Eir pressed her lips together and said, “I’ll see what I can do.” She went out, leaving Odin alone with Loki. After a moment, Odin picked him up, frowning down at him. He stirred with a small, sleepy noise.

“What’s to be done with you,” Odin asked him. “What do you need of us?”

Loki, naturally, didn’t reply. He really did look just like any Aesir baby. If Odin had to give him up to some other family...perhaps he wouldn’t have to tell them anything. Could simply claim that he was a war orphan, and…

No. The entire point of taking the baby in was to provide for a future in which Asgard and Jotunheim need not be at war. That wouldn’t work if he gave him over to be raised as an ordinary, anonymous Asgardian. And besides, Odin did not really want to give him up. He had brought Loki home; that made him Odin’s responsibility.

Of course, none of this would be relevant if he didn’t survive.

He sighed out and set Loki carefully back down. There wasn’t much he could do here. For now, he would just have to trust Eir to manage what could be managed. He set a light spell before leaving, though, that would alert him if anything changed. Just in case.

**

Odin went back to speak to Frigga, apprehension bubbling in his gut. He knocked softly on her door and waited for her to come and open it. His queen looked far from her usually composed self, and her expression was cool.

“Frigga,” he said. “I must apologize. I was tactless-”

“Is that what you would call it?”

Odin managed to contain his wince. “I didn’t think.”

“That much was obvious.” Frigga moved away from him, her usual grace diminished. “Our daughter is dead, and your first thought is to offer me another’s son?”

Odin faltered. “That wasn’t…” He’d thought it, though, hadn’t he? ‘Tactless’ was the kindest word he could have used. “I am sorry.” Norns, but he hated saying that. Especially when he knew he needed to.

Frigga regarded him. “Do you grieve for her at all?” she asked.

Odin bowed his head. “Of course I do,” he said. “I grieve for a daughter I will never know. But-”

“But,” Frigga hissed. “You grieve, but. I carried her. She lived with me, and I with her, for most of a year. And before she took her first breath, she was gone. And now - and now-” Her voice broke and she took an unsteady breath. Odin reached out and she pulled away. “You do not understand. You cannot. And you were not here.”

“I would have been,” Odin said. “If I could have-”

“But you could not,” Frigga said, “because you were busy fighting for another Realm and plucking strange babies from the ice.”

“That is unfair,” Odin objected.

“Is it? What of it is untrue?” She turned away from him, her hands twisting together.

“My love, I am only asking you to consider - this is a baby. Alone, and abandoned, and helpless. He needs a family. A mother.”

“And that must be me?”

“I…”

“Go,” Frigga said, gesturing toward the door. “Get out. If you will not respect my grief, then leave me to it.”

“Frigga.”

“Go.”

Odin knew when it was not wise to disobey. He left, though he stood outside the door a moment, hearing her start to cry, and wondered if he shouldn’t go back in. In the end, he decided against it, and retreated into the easier world of governance.

**

Odin fell asleep in his office and woke to the soft chime of the spell he’d set on Loki’s cradle. He sat up, groaned at his protesting back muscles (Norns, when had he gotten old) and hurried toward the room where Odin had left him sleeping. Already preparing himself for the worst. Telling himself that if Loki died - well, better here than abandoned on the ice, surely.

He took a breath before letting himself in. He expected Eir to be there, but she was not.

“Frigga,” he said.

“I sent Eir away,” she said, her back to him where she stood in front of the cradle. “I did notice your spell. Keeping an eye on your investment?”

Odin grimaced. “I wanted to know if anything changed.”

“Changed,” Frigga said. “Do you mean, if he died? Eir said he was weak.” While Odin was still figuring out how to answer, she turned, and Odin realized that she was holding him. Holding Loki, her expression difficult to read. “I wanted to see him. This baby you plucked from another Realm and brought into our house.”

“And?” Odin said cautiously.

“He is what I might have expected: small, and helpless, and innocent of all that you or I would place on him.”

“That is so,” Odin said carefully.

Frigga looked down at Loki in her arms, her expression solemn. “You said he was left there,” she said. “Just...left.”

“Yes,” Odin said. “Abandoned. Because of his size, I imagine. It is also possible he is half-blooded on his mother’s side, whoever she was. Vanir, perhaps.”

“Who would just throw away a baby to die,” Frigga murmured, eyebrows knitting together.

“I cannot explain it,” Odin said.

Frigga swayed back and forth. “There is no one else, is there,” she said. “He has no one else.”

“No,” Odin said. “He hasn’t.”

Frigga sighed, something aching in her expression. At long last, she sighed. “You would claim, then, that I didn’t - lose the baby after all,” she said, sounding nothing so much as resigned. “That it was a rumor, and a difficult birth, but the child survived. You would use our tragedy to mask your lie.”

Odin winced. “They will not accept him with the truth,” he said. “The outcry...frost giants are not well thought of, here. Especially not now. He would be hated just for being what he is, even if he doesn’t look it.”

“I understand,” Frigga said. “It is convenient timing, I suppose.” The bitterness in her voice was thick enough to cut.

“My love…”

“I know.” Frigga sighed and stopped swaying, shifting her hold on Loki. “Fine. I’ll do it. But not for you, husband. For him. An unintended casualty of this war. And I will try to love him for what he is, and not hate him for what he is not.”

Odin bowed his head. “Thank you.”

“And will you?” Frigga asked. Odin looked up, and she said, “love him for what he is? I know you, my husband. You do nothing for only sentimental reasons.”

“Not only,” Odin said after a brief pause, “but partially.”

“And for the rest? No, I can guess.” Frigga was still looking down at Loki, brushing a finger against his cheek. “A father is not the same thing as a tactician, Odin. You should remember that.”

Odin frowned at what felt like a rebuke, but said only, “I understand.”

Loki roused with a faint and fragile cry. Frigga turned away from Odin, though he saw her face soften. “He hasn’t eaten,” Odin volunteered. “Not since I brought him back.”

Frigga sighed. “Well,” she said, “let’s start with that. Has he a name?”

“Loki,” Odin said.

Frigga made a bit of a ‘hm’ sound. “Loki,” she repeated. “It’ll do.”

[overthemoon4themarauders]

“I lied. I’m not okay at all.”

!!TW!! Self-harm tw!!

Remus was acting funny, Sirius realized as he searched for Remus in the library. Remus had been shut off for the last few weeks. He had nearly torn himself apart last full moon because something was bothering him, but being Remus, he wouldn’t tell anyone. Ever since then, Remus had been disappearing left and right until the late hours of the night. None of the Marauders could catch him, until now. Sirius was determined to track Remus down today.

For the first time, Sirius took the Marauders Map before Remus could take it. Sirius walked back to the dorm and opened up the Marauders Map.

“I solemnly swear I am up to no good. Come on Moony, where are you?” Sirius was muttering to himself as he desperately searched for the boy he loved. Finally he found him. He was on the roof of the Astronomy Tower. Without hesitation, Sirius ran off to the Astronomy Tower. He hated seeing his Moony hurt, so he would do anything in his power to make sure he felt better.

Sirius was out of breath by the time he reached the Astronomy Tower. He waited a few seconds to catch his breath and prepare himself, but absolutely nothing could have prepared him for what he saw. In a few seconds Sirius’s world had been turned upside down.

Remus, his Remus, was sprawled out on the tower with freely bleeding wrists out on both sides. It was obvious that Remus was self-harming. What was worse was that Remus seemed to be in a trance. His eyes were blank and unseeing as they seemed to search the sky. He had tearstains all over his face and his shit was covered in blood from the bloody knife resting on his stomach.

“Remus what?” Was all that Sirius was able to say. He was completely and utterly shocked. Remus had literally taken a turn for the worst. Looking closer, Sirius saw that Remus had lost a lot of weight. He was already deathly skinny to begin with, but now he looked even more emaciated. And Remus had eye bags that looked similar to bruises. This shattered Sirius’s heart even more. 

“Remus?” Sirius said in a voice that was barely above a whisper. He wanted to badly to do something, anything for Remus, but he didn’t know what. When he didn’t say anything, he spoke again, “Remus?”

This time, Remus looked over at him. They made eye contact and Sirius could just SEE the pain in his eyes. “Remus what’s going on?” Sirius asked him.

At Sirius’s question, Remus started crying. Sirius cautiously stepped closer and wrapped Remus in his arms as he hugged him tightly. He just sat there and let Remus sob into his chest. After a few minutes of crying, Remus finally spoke. “Sirius?” He sounded so broken.

“Yes, Moony.”

“I’m sorry.”

Now Sirius was even more confused. Remus wasn’t the one who should be sorry. “What do you mean you’re sorry?” He asked cautiously.

Instead of answering, Remus continued to cry and say, “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”

Now Sirius was freaking out. “Remus, why are you sorry?”

Remus just shook his head and closed his eyes. “I’m sorry,” he whispered one last time before he went limp in Sirius’s arms.

“Remus?” Sirius shook him, but he didn’t respond. “Remus?” Again, no response. “Remus, wake up.” No response. Sirius frantically grabbed Remus’s bloody pulse and found that it was really weak. 

“Shit,” Sirius swore. Then he grabbed his mirror and spoke into it. “JAMES POTTER.” He yelled really loudly into his mirror in the hopes that James would hear how frantic he was. 

“What Sirius? I’m trying to-” Sirius cut him off.

“James, meet me in the Hospital Wing now. Tell Madame Pomfrey to prepare a bed immediately. Something's wrong with Moony.”

James looked like he wanted to ask questions, but he said, “OK,” and took off. With that, Sirius picked him up and ran as fast as he could towards the Hospital Wing. As soon as he did, he noticed that his earlier suspicions were correct. Remus had lost a lot of weight. Enough so that he felt like a rag doll to Sirius. Luckily they didn’t run into anyone.

Once Sirius was finally at the Hospital Wing, he was tired, sore, and out of breath, but he didn’t even notice. The only thing he could focus on was his Moony was dying in his arms.

Sirius kicked open the door and yelled for Madame Pomfrey. Luckily, she was right there.

“Oh goodness. Come sit the lad down here.” She said as she motioned to the nearest bed. Sirius set her down and let her work on healing Remus. On any other occasion, he would have fought to stay by Remus’s side. But he understood how dire the situation was. 

Sirius turned to James, and he looked exactly how Sirius felt. James looked confused, shocked, and ashamed all at once. They both just looked at each other. Neither really knew what to say.

After a few seconds, James spoke up, “What happened to Remus?”

Sirius had to swallow the lump in his throat before he responded. “I went to go find him, and I just saw this. He had cut his own wrists. I tried to talk to him, but he kept saying he was sorry, then he collapsed.”

James choked. Then he said, “Remus did this himself?” Sirius nodded. “Why? Why would he do that? Did he think we wouldn’t care? He knows we care right?” James started shooting off questions, but Sirius wasn’t listening. He, too, was asking himself those questions. 

Sirius was saved from trying to speak when Madame Pomfrey turned back to them. “Remus will be okay.” James and Sirius both visibly relaxed at those words. “He lot a lot of blood and he’s exhausted. I gave him some Blood Replenisher and some Dreamless Sleep Potion so his body can rest and heal. I think you boys have also been through a lot. You should go, get some rest, and see him in the morning.” She, too, was crying. Her favorite patient was hurting himself, and she didn’t even know. 

Neither boy argued. They listened to her and started walking.

The next morning, they came back to check on Remus. He was worse than they had ever seen him. His arms were completely wrapped up and his skin looked waxy. Worst of all, he looked completely at peace in his sleep. He looked dead. Remus always looked concentrated, even in his sleep. To see him like this, it was unnerving.

It seemed as if he could sense them, because Remus started to open his eyes. Both James and Sirius rushed to his side. 

When Remus was fully awake, James said, “Remus, are you okay?”

Sirius just looked at him. Remus slit his wrists and James was asking if he was ok? James seemed to realize this was a bad question and said, “sorry, bad question.”

“Yeah, James. I’m okay.” Remus said softly, but 

“James,” Sirius started slowly. “Could you give us a minute. I want to talk to Remus alone.” Sirius sent James a pleading look. 

“Fine. I’ll be back soon.” James said, then he left, giving Sirius a meaningful look as he walked out.

Sirius had so much he wanted to say and so much he wanted to ask but he didn’t know how to start. Luckily, he didn’t have to because Remus started talking. 

“Sirius, I lied. I’m not really okay at all, but I’ll get better. So you don’t have to worry about me.” Remus said sadly.

“Remus, I always worry about you. You’re our friend, my best friend. I want nothing more than for you to be happy. But something’s stopping that happiness. What’s going on. What on Earth was going on to make you slit your wrists?” Sirius was starting to get angry now.

“Nothing you would understand.” Remus said without making eye contact.

“Nothing I would understand?” Sirius raised his voice. “Remus you almost died in my arms. Something was bothering you so much that you decided to hurt yourself. We’ve let it get far enough. Now, I’m asking you again, what’s going on?”

“Sirius, please drop it.” Remus said softly as if he was in pain.

“No Remus. I’m not going to drop it.” He put his hands on Remus’s shoulder and looked him dead in the eye. “I could have lost you. You could have died. You’re some of the only family I have left. I can’t lose you. So please, just tell me what’s going on.”

“I can’t. You wouldn’t know what I’m feeling.” Remus whispered. He had started crying now.

“Remus, please.” Sirius begged. 

“You know what, fine. Though I know you wouldn’t know what it feels like. I’m in love with someone who I know would NEVER love me back. I am so out of their league that I have no chance. Not to mention that there’s nothing special about me. I’m so broken and scarred that nobody could ever love a monster like me. Not to mention I’m a werewolf, so I would never be able to hold down a job and support anyone. So I’m going to live alone.  And I really appreciate what you guys do for me, but there’s just so much happening at once that I’m not sure that I can do this anymore.” Remus finished his rant and looked away as tears slipped down his cheeks.

Sirius was stunned. “Is that what you think? That nobody could love you? Remus that’s where you’re wrong.” Sirius hesitated before speaking again. “Remus, you are the kindest, most thoughtful, smartest, and funniest person I know. And that’s barely scratching the surface. You can never see how amazing you are. And…..I love you.”

Remus just stared.

“I’m in love with you, and I always will. You always put others before yourself. I love how you flinch when someone makes a grammar mistake. I love how you can’t function until you’ve had your daily dose of chocolate. I absolutely love your laugh. There’s so much more to this list, so don’t you ever say that nobody could love you.”

“Sirius,” Remus seemed to have an internal battle. “I love you too.” Remus could barely be heard, but Sirius’s dog hearing still heard it.

 That was all he needed, and he grabbed Remus into a mind-blowing kiss. And the best part was, Remus eagerly responded.

“I love you so much Remus. I hate seeing you like this. I will do whatever I can to help you heal and help you feel happier. Mark my words, whatever it takes.”

Remus smiled and said, “Oh Sirius, because of you I’m already feeling so much better. Thank you.”

“You don’t have to thank me for loving you.” 

“Well I’m doing it anyways. I don’t deserve you.” Remus said as he pulled Sirius into another kiss.

“We’ll get through this together. I promise.”

Thank you so much for reading!!!

[cloudbatcave]

Cloud Plays White: Finale

This is a long one, folks, since I realized I had a bit in my notes I had forgotten about and only found after I posted this, lol, so I have now edited it in.

when we last left off I was criticizing Alder for being useless in apprehending Ghetsis and Iris for not just taking me to Drayden’s house herself when it is Right Fucking There. 

So I’m still futzing around Opelucid here.

“No way, without pokemon, I’ll be lonely and sad! …but am I just using my pokemon, then?”

wow, seems there’s some brain cells there after all. you keep exercising those, brah.

I run into a guy who thinks that it’s okay for team plasma to take pokemon from weak trainers, even though he considers himself one and feels bad for the people they rob.

There’s another dude in the same room who used to be part of team plasma but left because it was weird for him that everyone thought the same way.

See, I appreciate this part of the game’s writing - I wish there was more stuff like this, people who are conflicted and their viewpoints being front and center instead of the simplistic garbage we’re fed by Iris and Alder and company.

Though there’s an absolute nut job who says that despite the years he’s trained with his pokemon he’ll let it go if it makes it a perfect being and I am just not even gonna unpack all the lunacy there.

There’s a kid who thinks that just because N has the legendary pokemon, he must be the hero.

I am very concerned about everyone in Unova being so gullible.

“Your Scrafty looks like it can try a little harder.”

WELL FUCK YOU TOO RANDOM LADY??? LAD DOES HIS BEST AND I WILL NOT HAVE HIM SLANDERED THIS WAY

I finally go to Drayden’s and get told how the original dragon performed mitosis and now we have two dragons and also they once destroyed the region with fire and lightning but it’s chill.

“People may hurt pokemon even more by imposing their selfish thoughts on them. But no matter what, Pokemon and people believe in each other, need each other, and will continue to live together…”

Drayden is smarter and more nuanced than like, anyone else, why is he not a main character.

Iris chips in about how much she can’t forgive Plasma and Drayden mentions they don’t know how to wake up Zekrom.

Well, to be fair, I’d be very surprised if they did.

Off to the gym, this’ll be interesting since I have no ice or dragon moves on my team.

I get through the trainers okay, now time to fight Daffodil.

Her Haxorus was a bit tricky but nothing I couldn’t handle, and when I walk out Juniper shows up.

And somehow she knows how to resurrect Zekrom. Cool!

She blahs about how it’ll wake up when it deems someone worthy and talks about how much I’ve changed and shows me to the gate where the route to the pokemon league is.

“Chirae? Do you regret setting out on your pokemon journey?”

UH.

MAYBE?

mmm, that’s not fair to my pokemon though - nigh everyone around me may be looney tunes or incompetent, but they’ve been good pals.

So I hit “no” after all.

and she gives me a master ball. dope.

I make it to the gates of victory road and I honestly really like the bit where each section of them is themed after the badges! That’s a nice touch, I think that was only also done in the FRLG remakes if I recall correctly. It makes it feel a lot more ceremonious and important.

Ah here come my two idiots.

Bianca asks Cheren to smile and he’d probably implode if he did. He finally isn’t an asshole though, good for him.

The bug badge guard tells me to “fight valiantly like an insect” which is funny but I guess does make sense. Ants can fuck some stuff up, man.

Honestly I want to be a badge gate guard, seems like a fun job.

Also, I caught an excadrill in a raid the day I wrote this, and caught an excadrill in this game. Their pokedex entry includes this gem:

“Their tunnels can be destructive to subway systems”

Given the battle subway exists in this game, their insurance payments must be obscene. Imagine getting your match interrupted by a giant mole with metal fists that doesn’t give a fuck.

I named her Beans. She looks like a Beans.

I also caught a Deino. The Irate Pokémon that can’t see and tackles people to learn about its surroundings. I feel a kinship with this creature.

I named him Mezzo for laughs.

And I managed to get myself back to the beginning of victory road. Good job, cloud.

Okay I think I’ve found the right path, found a new dude to beat up which is a good sign. Apparently he’s lost too.

Love when a trainer switches out to a Pokémon mine doesn’t have a type advantage against and it gets wiped in two hits anyway. Death is inevitable.

“I’ve thought about what I can do to help my Pokémon win and I finally figured out the answer!”

Is it git gud?

Flame charge raises my speed, opponent’s klang uses automotize to prove it can do that too, dies because it’s too busy trying to go fast.

Then I get nailed by a flare blitz. Darmanitan is toxic to gen 5 nuzlocke runs, I swear. Especially since I have no one on my hodgepodge team resistant to fire. At least my unfezant is faster.

“Read what your opponent wants to do. Your opponent is human and may change plans from moment to moment. Be careful!”

There’s some meta joke to be made there but I’m not thinking of anything witty. Something something AI having a point even if not in this context.

Back to the beginning again but I think I know what I need to do now.

I looked at a walkthrough to check, tho, lmfao. Was tired of climbing up there only to fall down the wrong spot.

“There’s an item at the bottom! Do you want to slide all the way down?”

You’re the devil talking and you tempt me but I will ignore your silver tongue for now.

So I’m at the league and I thought Cheran would pop out of the bushes before I got here. That’s weird. I could swear he fights me one last time before I challenge the elite four.

NO CHERAN. OKAY. WHAT. IS MY GAME GLITCHED??

I guess not! Huh.

All right then. Time to try and see if I can win with my very unbalanced team.

Lmfao yeah my first attempt against the ghost trainer crashed and burned. Literally, thanks to her Chandelure. Very glad I saved on the outside. TIME TO GO TRAIN MORE.

No Marty, you may not learn wild charge, this is a no recoil moves household, self harm is bad.

Some grinding later, I am ready to try again.

Shauntal gave me a little trouble but was much more manageable. Grimsley was easy, only his Krookodile gave me issues.

I really like the elite four battle areas in this gen, I do admit. Very aesthetic.

Ah shit I know that Musharna is coming.

Never mind, that pink and purple snoozeball went down easy. I didn’t have a single Pokémon faint.

Unless Marshal breaks the trend the fights have actually gotten easier as I went.

He actually was a bit tricky, gave me a good show.

Hello endless stairs, hello N and Alder, hello giant random castle that just explodes out of the ground somehow.

“What has just appeared is team plasma’s castle”

Thanks mate, never would’ve figured that out without you. Why do you need a castle. 

Oh wow, the gym leaders finally decided to be useful and fight the sages for me instead of letting extremists wander around unchecked.

Thanks y’all! Trying not being pointless more often!

“Ignoring team plasma...that would be a terrible thing for us gym leaders to do.”

You all already did that, Elena. I watched as Clay and Iris let these assholes go. We could have avoided this whole plot if literally any of you had done more earlier.

So the game says the castle was built by the Pokémon team plasma took but how the fuck did they like...work underground...you know what I’m not gonna even think about it too hard because it makes no sense and I know that. I must make my peace.

I also like how the castle is nonsensical and yet there’s a line of dialogue about how they’ll liberate the Pokémon in PCs too for their Master Plan(TM), which is surprisingly thoughtful. This game is so inconsistent with how much sense its lore makes. It’ll come up with something clever and then wear its underwear on its head the next minute.

“Will you go the Pokémon league?”

Hey what - WHY DID YOU TELEPORT ME HOW CAN YOU DO THAT. DO YOU HAVE AN ABRA OR WHAT

THAT WAS RANDOM

Well at least there’s someone there to randomly teleport me back too.

WHEEEEEE

Hi Reshiram, convenient how that mini fire tornado you made didn’t burn me or N.

Hi Zekrom, convenient how your lightning didn’t hurt us either, you’re a considerate chap

Aight, let’s see if I can catch this bastard

...I did and it only took me like five balls. Okay then.

N gave me a good fight, so there’s that.

Love how Ghetsis’s bouffalant kills itself via recoil from its own move and my scrafty’s rocky helmet.

He gave me a good fight too though.

I do like the ending, despite my issues with how the game presents its message. N is a great character and I appreciate what Nintendo was trying to do with the game’s plot, they just...didn’t really delve into it like they should have.

I’m glad I replayed it. I still have my issues with gen 5 but I see a lot more of its positives now.

We’ll see if I do any post-game content, I have gotten kind of attached to my grump-ass trainersona and his weird team.