#/ so difficult to colour though i'm already regretting it

[vilandel]

Morning Mist & Night Traffic

Chapter 1 – Frustrated Spring

A/N First chapter is now here. This story already got over 50 reviews on Ao3, how is this possible? I'm really happy. Thank you @f-oighear, @kalolasfantasyworld and @mamavino for your kind reviews on the prologue ♣️ 💘

Ao3 link

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Lavender just couldn’t understand why Lord Rosecliff still looked at her like this. Yes, he had been harsh, but she had been the same towards him, if not even more. She truly regretted telling him back then that his pain and perspective didn’t matter. She had refused to understand that day.

Now she did.

And yet, lord Rosecliff still didn’t glance at Lavender with hatred. She didn’t understood. He should, after what happened. Lady Undina was just waiting for an occasion to talk her down and to put herself up into his esteem. It was the perfect opportunity for lord Rosecliff to pay back.

But nothing like this was happening. Lavender didn’t dare to look into his eyes, even though it was difficult to do so usually, given this unique turquoise colour of his orbs. She was afraid of what she could see in it, since it wouldn’t be any disgust or disliking towards her. But she could still feel his glance upon her, kinder than she would have ever expected. Why was kindness more unbearable than disgust?

“That is because Finnegan came to understand YOUR perspective, Lavender cutie. And he was never interested in that bitch Undina in the first place. Even less so after he found out that she knew about what that jerk Ignacio wanted to do to you. Oh right, you don’t know that yet, it’s not yet revealed in the story from your point of view.”

Vanessa swallowed the last bits of her apple as she continued her reading. She would have loved to lie down on her bed instead of sitting, but sadly her cat Rouge has decided to take a nap on her lap.

And when Rouge was napping, it was always very long. Not to mention that he hated to be moved while he was snoozing. End of story, she was stuck in this position for a while. At least, she had some books to read. One of the rare classics she loved, Pride & Prejudice by Jane Austen and her other current favourite literature, Roses & Lavender by that mysterious writer N. A. Steel, whom people only know the name. Well, whoever that was, he or she wrote amazing novels since a few years and Vanessa practically own almost each one of the books of this author.

There was also two books recommended by roommate, different genres than what Vanessa was usually reading. Apparently to force her a bit out of her reading comfort zone, but she had yet to give herself a grip and start trying them.

The first one was a spooky fantasy novel, Pure Within The Mirror by Nero Bird. Vanessa usually didn’t liked spooky stuff that much, but Dorothy always said that this author was great and there was no reason so far to doubt her.

The second book was from the romantasy genre, which might be more to Vanessas romantic taste. Emerald Snow by Nymphea Silber, a writer who had been extremely successful years ago according again to Dorothy, but who hasn’t written since over a decade.

Vanessa snickered. Nymphea Silber, N. A. Steel and Nero Bird. If those three had something in common, except having names starting with N, it was also that except their names and their books, no one knew anything about them.

The Three Word Mysteries of Clover, as they were called. But it was still speculated if anyone of them was really from the city of Clover. Sure, their books all where from Clover Editions, but those authors could also be from another city, like Diamond, Spade or Heart, maybe even from a small village. And why not from Raque, their countries own film industry and sea holiday town?

Dorothy loved to speculate about it a lot when she wasn’t busy being sleepy, but Vanessa wasn’t that interested. N. A. Steel was one of her favourite authors, on par with Jane Austen in her books when it comes to romance, and maybe she might try the other two novelist as well.

Caressing a purring Rouge, Vanessa continued her reading.

“Lady Lavender,” lord Rosecliff suddenly spoke. Lavender flinched at how gentle his voice sounded. How could she ever have thought that he was cold?

“Vanessa?”

“Meow!”

Vanessa flinched as she looked up, but thank goodness it was only Dorothy who appeared at her doorframe. Who else would it ever be, no one else was living with them.

Dorothy must have done some groceries, given the full bags she had with her. There must have been some catnips in, because Rouge immediately woke up, freed Vanessas lap and started to go around the bags while meowing.

“Yes, you little rascal, there is also some goody goodies for you. I didn’t expect to see you here, Nessa. Didn’t you have a date today?”

“Not anymore.”

“Oh. Did you got dumped again?”

“It was obviously his attention, but I dumped him first. Which upset him a lot, apparently I insulted his pride or something stupid like that. Gosh, why did I even tried with that jerk? And he even had the audacity to claim that I’m not pretty enough for him to try… you know what. Kicked him in the balls for that.”

“He probably deserved it. But what I don’t understand is why you are still trying to find a boyfriend when you only complain about your dates. Blind dates definitely don’t work with you, maybe you should stop?”

This was true and Vanessa also know that Dorothy might at least suspect her reason already. They were both coming from the same town, after all…

But Vanessa didn’t want to talk about that. It was behind her once and for all (she hoped), she lived now in Clover, had a roof over her head, more than one hobby, two small but good jobs that still leave them enough freedom, especially one of them was also home office mostly, she had friends.

Sure, she couldn’t forget her past… But it was behind her and she didn’t need therapy. Why would anyone need therapy when their life was fine?

Still, Vanessa would love to find someone, to fell in love and truly this time. One reason was her past and this was history. One other reason was her first crush that was the closest experience to love she ever had. A lost duckling crush on which she clinged upon was her only experience with love. She had to change that. Last reason was her romantic joyful side that still was longing.

It would have sounded like therapy might help… No, Vanessa didn’t need therapy. And she couldn’t let Dorothy suspect anything.

Vanessa sighed dramatically as she fell back on her bed, holding her two current favorite books in front of her as if they were some most important evidences during a trial.

“I can’t help it, Dotty! Jane Austen and N. A. Steel have put the level of being a wonderful man onto such a high level that I automatically have too much expectations for any potential boyfriend! But the only thing I get at best are jerks, not Darcys, colonel Brandons or Rosecliffs!”

Dorothy giggled, which could either mean that she was amused or kinda frustrated. “You do have a romantic soul, Nessa.”

“Yeah, maybe that’s the reason why I can’t get a proper boyfriend. But I don’t want to date a macho anymore! Why are gentlemen so out of fashion today? Maybe I was born in the wrong time period.”

“Aren’t you a bit overdramatic?”

“Maybe? I don’t know. I knew I shouldn’t have started to drink less wine.”

It didn’t sound like an easygoing joke and Vanessa knew that this wasn’t normal for her.

Dorothy as well, since she was now looking at her almost frowning, a vague worried glance in her bi-colored eyes. Sometimes Vanessa had the feeling that Dorothy was able to know people even through sleep and dreams.

Time to change the subject quickly.

“I promise I will read those two books you recommended me. But I had to read Roses & Lavender again. I love this story so much! N. A. Steel is just an amazing writer and so good at history stuff. Even when he or she invent a country for a novel, it is so believable! Especially the novels about the witch hunt period, fantastic!”

“Ha, of course witch hunting period is appealing for the two of us, right? Now, coming back to your romantic live-“

“I don’t need therapy!”

“I wasn’t going to tell you that?”

Probably not, but Vanessa acted more upon instinct than anything. Dorothy shook her head before she sat down on Vanessas bed, letting Rouge turning around the grocery bags with purrs and meows.

“I know you love romance, Nessa and you’re always so supportive of helping others with their love lives. But I have the feeling that you’re not really put your heart into it when it comes to your own.”

“How can you be so sure of that? You were never interested in dating, as far as I know.”

“Have you noticed that many of the guys you tried dating are merely pale copies of Yami and that only on a superficial level?”

“Damn, it’s that obvious? Finral said something similar as well.”

“Of course, he did. You should listen to your best friend, Nessa. It is only obvious to people who know you well and only if observant. Plus, like I said, those were pale copies only, so I didn’t connect the dots immediately. But the fact is, buff and rough, some even smoking, it is a vague description of Yami. Weren’t you over him?”

“I moved on from him, really… But I can’t forget my huge crush on him. You know the reasons. Shouldn’t he be my type somehow?”

“Don’t get yourself blinded by types, most of the time they’re never what we believe they are. I don’t why you focus still on guys that are only very vaguely like Yami, but maybe you will have more luck with men if you start thinking outside the box a bit? After all, you love the gentlemen in your books. Why not trying that for reality as well?”

Vanessa frowned a bit. What Dorothy said make sense, but somehow, she still wasn’t really convinced by it. Or didn’t she want to be?

She couldn’t continue to wonder about her rather unusual thoughts, as Dorothy continued, “This can also mean that you don’t need to search for a boyfriend if you don’t want to, you know. All I ask you to is to take a different approach. Maybe you don’t understand yet yourself what you want.”

“You know I’m wary of changes and I think I know at least a bit what I want.”

“Aw, your so cute when you are pouting. But come on, you are always so daring and proud, I am sure that you will overcome your current romantic frustration.”

“Romantic frustration,” Vanessa couldn’t help but snicker. Dorothy had sometimes the weirdest description of things.

“Come on, how else would describe your current state, you silly- No, Rouge, this fish is not for you, come back here!”

While Dorothy run out of the bedroom after the cat, Vanessa lied down again and watched at the ceiling without really seeing it. Dorothys words might have triggered something in her, but it was too sudden for Vanessa to take it seriously yet or not.

Should she really think outside the box? Pragmatically speaking, it shouldn’t be such a bad idea, given that every guy she tried to date ended up being an asshole, sadly proving her mother’s point about men-

No, stop! This time was behind her and Vanessa refused to ever think about it ever again! Even though maybe it was one of the reasons why…

“Stop!”

Vanessa looked out of the window, where a few pigeons were flying by. The spring sun was shining through the glass, giving her patchwork curtains a bright touch. She liked the view she had from her bedroom, it was right in front of the Clover Parc, one of the most beautiful parcs in the world, with the trees and the flowers and the paths. Sometimes, Vanessa could even see the romantic belvedere from afar.

Not that she ever got something romantic at the belvedere, even though it would be so great. Gosh, it was spring, the season of love and if Dorothy was right, she had a romantic frustration. What a time, really.

Well, spring holidays was almost over and the school where she worked as a helping nurse (although not a nurse in the classical way, so the term was maybe not fitting) would be open again and maybe it would help her to distract herself from that frustration or help her having clearer thoughts about her stupid situation.

She wondered if the teachers and students, plus others, were doing fine. She had seen some of them in the city during the holidays. The trouble trio Asta, Magna Swing and Luck Voltia have caused some problems in the parc just two days ago, when she got for a walk with Rouge, but Vanessa knew them, they never mean any harm. Okay, you could never be so sure about Luck, though.

Others had been away. Mimosa Vermillion had told her that she would be in Switzerland during the holidays, with her parents and her older brother. And her cousin Noelle Silva went to her family’s secondary villa with her oldest brother.

Hopefully it had been alright for the poor girl. Vanessa had quite some sympathy for her. She was able to recognize when a household wasn’t doing fine, due to her own experience. Family Silva didn’t seem like it was a loving family. Vanessa might not know the signs and she hadn’t met Noelles brother yet. But she knew the signs and she did hear that he was more like a cold man. But she also knew that Noelles brother went to school with Dorothy and Yami. Could she judge him without meeting him?

Vanessa still didn’t like him. Or at least, given the Silva household, she wasn’t sure yet if she could like him.

But little Noelle seemed to have some strong affection for him and according to Mimosa, he cared deeply for his little sister.

It didn’t explain why the Silva family wasn’t working well, but this at least spoke in his favor. Vanessa just hoped that it was true affection between Noelle and her brother, not something that was abusive.

Well, Vanessa dared still to assume that Noelles brother wasn’t into romance. He was a rich man and if Vanessa knew something about rich people in Clover, it was that they don’t believe in love.

Why would he be different?

At the same time, why would he be the same?

Well, one thing for sure, Vanessa would never try to date a rich guy. But this sudden thought surprised her still.

♣♣♣

Noelle took a huge bite from her salami sandwich. It was so good, the servants of the secondary residence even roasted the bread a bit and were generous with the butter. It was almost as good as Charmys sandwiches. And way better than those thin wannabe sandwiches they got in most train stations.

At least, from what Noelle knew about those wannabe sandwiches. She never tasted them before and the only one who always talked or rather complained about those was Magna. Given her classmate’s tendency to hyperbole when he was complaining about something, Noelle didn’t if she could always believe him.

She wondered what Asta had to say about…

STOP!

Now she was thinking about that idiot again, while she managed to have banned him from her mind during the integrity of the spring holidays! More or less, but this was a detail. And to be fair, her brother and her were currently on their way home to Clover, so she will see that idiot again soon.

It was the end of the spring holidays, school will start again like tomorrow and her brother needed to return to work as well. Okay, needed was a strong word, since they were Silvas and one of the three richest family in the city who descended from nobility. According to Nebra – and she tended to overreact – Silvas didn’t need to work.

But Nozel took his job seriously, unlike many rich people in Clover. Too serious some would say, since he didn’t allow himself many holidays, just a day off here and there at best. The fact that Nozel proposed to her to spend the spring holidays, just the two of them for two weeks, at the secondary residence of the Silvas, had been a huge surprise for Noelle. But at the same time, it made her really happy.

Not only was it an opportunity to avoid Asta during the holidays after… that happened, but spending two whole weeks alone with Nozel was always more than welcome. He was the only one she was close to within her family.

Noelle looked at her brother, sitting on the other side of the picnic table between the birches, eating his own sandwich and a small salad, reading a book absently. There was often silence between them, but Noelle didn’t mind. Over the years, this kind of silence became very agreeable and even understanding. Okay, sometimes she was still not sure how to act around Nozel, but it was the same for him around her and they were never stopping trying. At least, it was clear to both that they truly care for each other and even though Nozel could seem cold and distant for other people – which he was for anyone outside of the family and closest people – Noelle loved her oldest brother a lot.

She sighed silently. Oh, those two weeks with Nozel were great, but she was also happy to come back home. She missed the city of Clover, she missed her school – okay, not everything – she missed her classmates and friends, even Asta and Mimosa… somehow, she missed a lot of people and she missed the family cats. At least, those two who remained in Clover, only Canelle came with them on the trip.

But her family… Maybe Noelle missed them a bit, but mixed feelings were a norm in this case. She was never close to her sister Nebra – Vanessa sometimes felt more like an older sister than her own sister �� even though they didn’t hate each other. It was just… distant in a strange familiarity. It had been worse in her childhood, but that changed. At least, Nebra was never like Solid.

Noelle never got along with her brother Solid, which made her sad, but given their childhood and how mad Nozel had been after that incident when she was five, it was probably for the best. Maybe one day, they could get along… but Solid was too much of a jerk.

Still, Solid was better than their father and the less Noelle met that man, the better. She didn’t know yet what exactly broke their family apart when she was still a baby. Noelle wasn’t close enough to Nebra and Solid to ask them, as for Nozel… he never show anything, but there were always tears shining in his eyes when it was mentioned and Noelle didn’t want her brother to suffer. Whatever happened, it had shattered him. So, Noelle might be wondering, but she would never ask. Their family was already unstable enough and she didn’t want to be distant with her older brother.

But fact is, their father was not someone she missed and even though Noelle didn’t know everything, it was clear that this man should be better out of their lives completely. If only this could be the case… Maybe Nebra and Solid would have been real siblings during her childhood?

And then… there was mother. That far away person who was a stranger to Noelle. That picture that was like a reflection of her own appearance, but it was someone else. A person Noelle missed, but felt unsure what exactly to feel towards. She sometimes visited their mother at the clinic, but never alone, always with her siblings or her Vermillion aunt and it was always a stranger who didn’t seem to recognize them. Never a mother, shattered, still beautiful but shattered.

Out of her siblings, only Nozel visited mother often. He was the one who still talked to her, softer than even with Noelle, who always brushed mothers hair, who didn’t see a stranger. Sometimes, Noelle thought that it didn’t do Nozel any good to visit their mother, she often heard him cry silently in his bedroom after each visit and she had no idea how to comfort him. It was always heartbreaking to see her strong, proud and strict older brother like this. But at least, he visited her… unlike their father.

So, Noelle couldn’t tell if she missed anyone truly within her closest family. In the Silva household, it was the other two cats she missed the most. Especially Leviathan, who had been Nozels gift on her last birthday in November. A beautiful long-haired Nebelung with kind of an attitude like a stormy sea, but so affectionate. Silvas usually weren’t liked by animals, it was actually a miracle that three cats came to love them.

And maybe Noelle also missed Rosette a bit, Solids fiancée.

It was an arranged betrothal, like how it was still the norm for rich people. Noelle couldn’t understand that, it was the 21st century and even the middle ages weren’t that strict on marital topics like the rich society of Clover. She didn’t know how it happened, given the fights Nozel had with father about it, it had been certainly complicated, somehow things happened and end of story, the betrothed moved into the Silva household.

But Rosette Vitrail was not at all an arrogant bitch like Noelle feared at first. On the contrary, she was kind and polite to everyone, even to Solid, loved the three cats who loved her back, respected the servants, she never tried to slime in and at first it was almost like she was invisible. Noelle assumed that Rosette didn’t choose the situation either and decided to make the best out of it. Even though her fiancé was Solid. And she never felt that unhappy to have left her family already.

Maybe she came from a broken household too? Not a good change to live now in another one, but Rosette didn’t seem to mind. But she was still a bit a mystery, she just moved in just one month ago.

But Noelle liked Rosette at least a bit. She didn’t had a distant, proud and almost sad glance like Nebra or the jerk attitude of Solids. And certainly not the superior, arrogant and disgusted glare of their father.

“Are you alright, Noelle?”

Noelle flinched slightly. Like always when Nozel talked to her out of the blue. How much she would love to get rid of this habit. After all, it was her dear older brother talking, not Nebra or Solid. Or worse, father.

“I’m fine, brother. Just been thinking.”

“Are you happy to come home?”

“I admit that I am. Oh, those two weeks together were great, but I miss my friends still and school… And Waterlily and Leviathan too. But I don’t think that Canelle would like to see them again.”

“Meow!”

It sounded like a protest. Noelle watched happily how Nozels lips went slightly up and she couldn’t help but smile as she turned towards the cat lying next to her. Canelle glared at her with her yellow eyes, like offended by the statement.

Canelle was looking so adorable with her heart-shaped head, her cinnamon brown fur, the white paws and belly, her big eyes and her rather tiny frame. But Noelle was sure that there was no cat with a personality like Canelle. She was the boss in their house, not only over the other cats, but in a way also of them. A few months ago, she had been quite sick and needed to rest. Instead of remaining in the cat chamber, she claimed Nebras bedroom all for herself and end of the story was that Nebra had to move into one of the guest rooms for two weeks until Canelle was better. One of the few rare times in their family were there had been some genuine laughs.

Canelle was not a cat of breed and this was already strange for a strict rich family like them. If any strict rich Clover family had animals, then of breed, please. The other cats of the Silvas were a Nebelung and a Ragdoll. But Noelle was glad that they got Canelle and even Nebra and Solid didn’t care that one of their pets wasn’t of a breed.

It was Solid who brought Canelle home and not even on purpose. This cat had been just a kitten when they got her, living on the streets and on one rainy day, she followed Solid for some reason, so close that she get into the villa the same time as him. And just decided to stay. After some time, Nozel finally decided that they should keep her, since she was determined to stay.

Given the colour of her fur, they named her Canelle, the french word for cinnamon. Noelles choice, as she was rather proud of her skills in that language.

Petting her head, Noelle remembered how Asta had been so excited when she told him about Canelle for the first time. He adored cats and his own, Liebe…

No, stop! Hadn’t she decided to not think about that idiot until they see each other again in school? And even there, if she could ignore him, but it was impossible, they were in the same class and just before the holidays, he had a date with Mimosa, her own cousin! This is what she got for crushing on a dense idiot and being in denial. Someone else got him and Asta couldn’t stop friendzone her and he didn’t even know he did!

Whoever said that friendzone wasn’t that bad was wrong. It was so damn worse than being hated! At least in Noelles books.

She heard that Mimosa went with her brother and her mother to Raque during the holidays. And she certainly invited Asta too. The mere thought of them cuddling at the beach… Or having fun in the sea…

Noelle sighed again. She hated feeling jealous. Mimosa was way too kind to be mad at, Asta was stupid but nicer than anyone she knew. Noelle couldn’t hate any of them and she wanted to be happy for them. After all, Asta didn’t belonged to her, he was free to choose who he would date and Mimosa was never mean to him, unlike Noelle.

But it was still a pain.

“Noelle?”

“Oh, sorry, brother. Did you say something?”

“No, but you seem thoughtful. Is something bothering you?”

Noelle bit her lips. Nozel might be the one of her family she was the closest to, but it was still difficult for the two of them to open to each other. Like any Silva, they had their own issues to deal with. It had been like this since she was a baby.

Oh, Noelle would love to tell Nozel about her love problems. But she didn’t know if he could be of any help or comfort, nor if he would be happy that she was crushing on someone out of their circles. Nozel still had a lot of pride, after all.

But he was still her brother and until she met Vanessa or Nero again, or waiting for Kahono to be back from her tour in Switzerland, Noelle had only Nozel to at least confide in a bit. Just a bit, she was a Silva after all.

Not something to be proud of, at least Noelle sometimes felt that way.

“I had… well, I had a difference with one of my classmates. Nothing important, though.”

Not quite the truth, not quite a lie. This should be enough.

“Did that classmate of yours insulted you? Shall I have a talk with that person?”

“No, no need to. But thank you still, brother. We didn’t had a fight and he probably… doesn’t remember our difference or haven’t even realized it. But I needed some distance and your proposition was a perfect opportunity for that. I will… see how it goes once school starts again.”

“If you don’t want to go to public school anymore, you can just tell me, I will arrange that.”

“I know, but there is no need. I still like my school and I’m happy that I can to go to the same school like you did. And Nebra and Solid.”

“It had been mother’s wish that we go to the public school and not a private one.”

“And it was probably a good idea. I have friends at least and there is Mimosa too. I want to finish school with them.”

“I’m glad that you have friends, Noelle.”

There was a tone in his voice that was almost sad. As if he wanted to say more or something else. Noelle always wondered if Nozel was lonely. Sure, he had friends, like Fuegoleon Vermillion or Vanessas roommate, Dorothy Unsworth. Such a small world. But still, even with friends, he could seem lonely.

And Noelle was worried for her big brother. She just had no idea how to help him. She was just a teenager, how could she help a full-grown adult?

There was not a lot she could do.

“Have you finished the last corrections on your manuscript?”

“Yes, I’ve sent it to Mr. Novachrono already. If everything goes like usual, it shall come to the market next month.”

“I’m looking forward to it, you write so well,” Noelle smiled and felt some relief when Nozel smiled back at her.

She was the only one in the family to know that secret of Nozel. She found it out some time ago and since then, it was more than just a secret between them, it was something like they were a bit like accomplices and Noelle loved that feeling.

Not to mention that she might be Nozels biggest fan and even though he never said it, her support meant a lot to him. She saw it in his eyes every time she talked about his works and what she loved the most.

Sometimes she wanted to share it with her friends, but this was not her secret to reveal. And it felt good to know something they didn’t, especially Astas arrogant best friend Yuno who was such a genius in everything.

And now she thought about Asta again, just like that. Why couldn’t she just stop? Why was Asta everywhere? She almost hated him for putting her in such a pathetic state, but then again, it wasn’t his fault and he didn’t know.

But Noelle still wanted to be mad at him, on principle. At least a bit.

“Meow!”

Canelle suddenly stood up and hoped down the bench, patting her cat bag and looking at them with some impatience. Which meant in her eyes, it was time to continue to return home. And she would pester Noelle and Nozel until they got their things together.

“Seems that we have to finish our meal,” Nozel said as he stood up as well and put the rest of their picnic back in the bag.

Noelle sighed deeply as she looked at the two chocolate-banana muffins. They looked so delicious and creamy, the old cook back at the secondary residence backed them at dawn especially for them.

“We can still eat the muffins on the way.”

Noelle beamed. Nozel must have seen her ogling very obviously on those muffins and since he was a sweettooth too… Noelle grabbed the muffins plus the cat bag and followed her brother who carried the picnic bag, while Canelle was already at the car, waiting for them with a grumpy look. She certainly almost had a Silva personality, but at least she didn’t act like a spoiled princess like Waterlily or like a stormy sea like Leviathan.

When they reached Nozels silver Porsche, Noelle immediately opened one of the doors so that Canelle could just jump in and into her cat bag once Noelle put it on the back seat. Then she entered the car herself, sitting at the front next to Nozel who just started the car.

Well, time to go home. With a bit of mixed feelings still, but Noelle was grateful that she had still more things to look forward to back in Clover. Even though Asta was currently not fitting into one of the two categories.

Stop, Noelle!  Stop thinking about this idiot!

The siblings were silent when they left the picnic area and went back on the road. Even Canelle was silent, but maybe she fell asleep. That cat was always calm in the car, unless she had to be brought to the veterinary. Then the meowing would never stop and she would refuse any petting.

“Did you make nice photos during our vacation?” Nozel suddenly asked once they were back on the road.

Noelle smiled. As subtle as it might was, she was so happy that her brother supported her with her hobby.

“I think so, I’ll work on them once we get home. Thank you for helping taking pictures of myself too. Some of the servants also helped to-“

Noelle bit her lips. Maybe she shouldn’t have mentioned that. Nozel was never keen on befriending the servants back in Clover, it certainly also count for the once at their second villa. Noelle didn’t really understood why they couldn’t befriend servants, but she still hoped that it won’t destroy the fragile bond she had with her brother.

But to her biggest surprise, Nozel didn’t scold her. He just nodded and sighed, almost more to himself than to her, “It is wonderful that they helped. Those servants were always loyal to mother.”

Noelle flinched, like always when mother was mentioned. She still was curious, why would Nozel made an exception for the servants working at the secondary Silva residence? But she wouldn’t ask, mother was never a happy subject.

Nozel seemed a bit sad, so Noelle handed him one of the chocolate-banana muffins. Her brother smiled as he accepted it. Noelle relaxed at the sight and bit in her own. It was actually good to go home.

If only Asta…

And shit, now she was thinking about Asta again! Noelle was really fed up with those stupid thought. Okay, maybe she would stop if she would finally start to actively move on from her crush for him.

After all, it was just a teenage crush, nothing she would regret in a few days.

Right?

♣♣♣

Charlotte opened the door to her appartement, she could hear a lot of yells and screams and laughs from the living room.

This could only mean that Luck invited some friends to play some video-games. Probably Magna and Asta, given how loud it was.

Hopefully they wouldn’t end up destroying the TV or anything else. Not that many of these things were irreplaceable, of course not. But Charlotte preferred to not put this kind of finances on her budget.

“HAHAHA! I got you Magna! Now fight me!”

“No, I’m not fighting you, stopping attacking me with the controller! And no, you didn’t got me! You just cheated!”

“How can anyone cheat at a videogame? Oh no, Magna watch out, your ship is going towards a rock!”

“UAAH! Phew, thanks Asta. Ah, shit, you two are already this far ahead of me! Oh hell no, I’m not going to lose!”

Charlotte took a look in the living room. Ah, yes, Luck and his two friends were indeed gaming. Sails of Waves, a newer game a bit like Mario Karts, but with ships instead and a setting that was a mix of Pirates of the Caribbean, One Piece and corsairs & pirates of the 17th and 18th century.

Thankfully this was a rather harmless game, in comparison. Charlotte knew the creator very well, she went to school with him and Jack had a habit of being very bloody and scary in the games he created.

To think that he also opened a toy shop & atelier years ago…

Charlotte sighed and shook her head. She just came home from her tearoom and given how some of her girls were either on vacation or sick – stupid spring cold, really – they only had been three to be here for the customers.

And Sunday was one of the best days for the Blue Rose tearoom. So she was exhausted and since she forgot to buy bread and milk on her weekly grocery shopping, Charlotte had to go to the only shop open on Sunday in Clover, the small supermarket at the train station, on the opposite of her appartement.

But she could live with that. After all, it wouldn’t be the first time something like that happened. But she had to meet Yami today on her way home.

Yami…

Charlotte had a deep sigh as she put the milk in the fridge and the bread into the bread box. Goodness, why was she unable to spend even one day without thinking about him? One hour would already be a record.

Just one hour without feeling the heavy love that hasn’t left her for like a decade. Ten years living with that! Others were well able to move on from a one-sided love and crush more than once in such a period of time, then why was she unable to?

If her life would have been a fantasy story, maybe she would have been curse and falling in love with Yami would have lifted it. It was ridiculous, but it often felt that way for Charlotte. Maybe she read too much of Nymphea Silber’s romantasy novels in her youth. Rather pathetic for a grown adult woman, wasn’t it?

Yami…

Why was she still so worked up about that stupid crush after ten years in the first place? It wasn’t like the rest of her life was hell in any way. She was independent from her family and their stupid business, not to mention she cut most ties with the Roseleis, her tearoom and little fencing school worked amazingly, she had a nice and big appartement, fought for and won her younger half-brothers custody… her life was pretty good so far.

If she could finally get a grip about that stupid crush, it would be perfect.

But how? By moving on? By daring to ask him out directly? By deciding if it was just a crush or something more?

Always those questions and Charlotte was unable to find a proper answer. She was really pathetic, wasn’t she.

Why did had to be him? And why did she not wanted to be anyone else than him?

Maybe this was the never ending hurdle of being in love with terribly dense man. Oh yes, Yami was dense, terribly dense, so dense that despite his claims to be good at reading people, he was unable to tell if someone was in love with him.

Oh, it was easy to put all the blame on him. But Charlotte was well aware and smart enough to know that she wasn’t innocent either. How many times had she been rude to Yami to hide her feelings? How many times had she – often with reasons – been frustrated by his carefree behavior in everything? And made him know? How many times had she told him that work was her only partner?

Yes, she was quite to blame as well for her frustrated romantic situation. Would it have been sorted out much earlier if Yami wasn’t dense and less carefree? But would she be in love with him if he was any different?

Love was complicated and like hope, not rational at all.

“Meow!”

Charlotte looked up and saw Briar on the table, looking at her with some impatience within her beautiful green eyes. Briar was one the three cats Charlotte and Luck had, a beautiful tortoiseshell cat with a black and orange fur.

“Hello, Briar. I know that it is time for your dinner, but I think we had agreed that you shouldn’t jump on the kitchen table.”

Briar seemed to pout, but still jumped of the table, sitting down in front of her bowl and waited. Charlotte smiled as she took Briars favourite food, a mash with chicken flavour. Seems that someone was really hungry.

And of course, as soon as Briar started to eat, Lightning appeared suddenly in the kitchen. She was also a tortoiseshell cat, but unlike Briar, the eyes were amber and the fur was black, grey and white.

“Okay, okay. I will give you your dinner as well. Dry food with fish for you, right?”

Lightning meowed happily, while hoping up and down. She was almost as excited as Luck. After giving Lightning her food, Charlotte left the kitchen to join the boys in the living room. It felt good to feed the cats, they were always distracting her from her unresolved romantic frustration with Yami.

And now, she thought about him again. Why was it so easy to think about him and so difficult to stop?

Charlotte sometimes wondered if she really had puberty completely behind her.

When she entered the living room, the boys were still playing their video game. Given the image on the TV, they were currently on the storm level of the game. Luck and Magna were even jumping. Asta might have done it as well, if it weren’t for the long-haired grey cat napping on his lap.

Ah, there was their third cat. Charlotte and Luck did receive Queen as a kitten roughly six months ago, from a great-aunt who spent most of their time traveling the world and who didn’t cared that Charlotte cut ties with most of the Roseleis or that Luck was an illegitimate child, born out of an affair.

Queen was the only breed cat they had, a beautiful Russian Blue with the characteristic blue-grey fur and green eyes, and very affectionate. Asta seemed to love her too, as he sometimes put his controller aside to pet Queen a bit, even though his own ship lost some speed. Yes, he was a kind boy and Charlotte was glad that Luck was friends with him.

She didn’t had quite the same feeling about Magna, though, he and Luck were always fighting a lot, plus Magna was kind of almost a delinquent and even more or less proud of it. Not something Charlotte appreciated. But at the same time, it was mostly Luck who provoked Magna, not the other way around and this boy still had his heart at the right place. And Yami trusted him.

Yami again… She just couldn’t stop thinking about him. Maybe was it because of spring? This season was always considered the lovers season in Clover. Great, now she started to believe those stupid traditions of people.

She needed another distraction, right now.

“Hello, boys.”

“Bis Sis, you’re back!!!”

“Luck don’t jump on me, you little fucker… Oh shoot, hi, erm, I mean, hello Mrs, no, Miss Roselei! I wasn’t insulting your brother, I swear!”

“Hello, madam Charlotte, sir!”

Charlotte almost laughed as Asta somehow tried to salute. With the controller in his hands and Queen on his lap. She couldn’t blame him, she probably appeared like some kind of strict military officer when Luck brought him home for the first time. Which she was probably still a bit for him.

“Did you have fun playing Sails of Waves?”

“Yes, madam Charlotte, sir, I mean-“

“Asta, please, just Charlotte for you. How many times shall I tell you that?”

“But that wouldn’t be polite, madam Charlotte, sir… Oh no, I shouldn’t say sir to you, I apologize!”

“Don’t scream like that, Asta, you’re scaring the kitty!”

Magna said while yelling himself. But Queen was a calm cat, she just yawned before turning around and continuing to nap.

“How was your day at the tearoom, Big Sis?”

“Rather exhausting. It’s Sunday, not to mention spring holidays, so we had a lot to do at the tearoom. Especially since most of the girls were either sick or on vacation today. We were only three, let’s hope there will be more next week.”

Charlotte really hoped that, because one of the most productive seasons will just get started for her tearoom and the Blue Rose couldn’t be with just three waitresses every day during that season.

Not to mention that it was also a season were a lot of couples, from teenagers to old people, to have dates at the tearoom, which wouldn’t help Charlottes current mental state of romantic frustration concerning Yami and…

And she did it again. What has she ever done in some potential previous life to deserve this?

“Hey, Big Sis, if you want I can help you out sometimes!”

“Only if you promise to not attack costumers out of the blue. Remember what happened last time? If you want to help me, please behave?”

“Not even a little kick between the legs?”

“No.”

“Ah, but okay.”

“Maybe we could help you too!” Asta said with a big kind grin. “I never worked in a tearoom, but sister Lily always said that the more experience I have, the more I can go far in life after school!”

“I’m not that much into tearooms, but if you need manly help, maybe I can jump in?” Magna added, forgetting the game for a moment and not noticing that his boat was trapped into a maelstrom. “I’m helping out three times a week at the��Black Bulls Motorcycle Garage, but I’m sure captain Yami will agree that I help one of his old classmates. After all, captain Yami is great!”

“Oh, you work with Yami? And you call him captain?”

“Yeah, it sounds manly! Oh crap, what is happening to my boat?”

While Magna tried to save his ship under Lucks laughs and Astas encouragement, Charlotte took a deep breath. Oh yes, Yami did mention that sometimes students were helping him out at his garage. He did this to help young people and give them a chance, as he said and this was one of the side she admired about him.

If only… If only…

Yami won’t leave her thoughts, wouldn’t he? Even if she hadn’t met him to day after doing her groceries, he would always haunt her mind. Gosh, their meeting today hadn’t even been long, he just teased her and she fled, like always.

This couldn’t continue like this! But at the same time, Charlotte had no idea how to change her whole romantic mess of the mind. Maybe she needed therapy? No, it couldn’t be that desperate. But nothing else came to her mind.

Well, then she needed to try distracting herself again, even though it never worked really. But what other option does she have?

“Can I play with you, boys?”

“Really, that’s so cool of you, Big Sis!”

“Here, sit next to me, madam Charlotte, sir! Oh, sorry, I said sir again!”

“We’ll show you how it works, maybe we can start all over again. That’s the neat thing with this game, it’s not a bother to start all over again. First, you need to design your own ship.”

Under the explanations of Luck and his friends, Charlotte tried to use a controller and to create her own ship. Next to Lucks Thunder Goods Boots, Magnas Crazy Cyclone and Astas Black Meteor, a new ship was now ready to sail.

Prickly Queen.

It was only when a new race started that Charlotte realized it. She gave her ship the very nickname Yami always gave her. 

♣♣♣

When Lital woke up, there was a tongue licking all over her face. A tongue that didn’t belonged to her boyfriend, but to a flame red stripped cat.

“Hello, Salamander. What’s the big idea to wake me up in the middle of the night, you little rascal?”

The cat just meowed, before making himself comfortable on the pillow next to her. But the other side of the bed was empty.

Not that Lital could see much. First, the lights were off. Second, her bangs weren’t braided and like always when loose, it covered most of her eyes.

But Lital could feel it still. It was empty, but the sheets were still warm. Which means that he was still here. Of course he was.

“Fue, where are you?”

“Right here, my dearest.”

Pushing some of her bangs away, Lital saw Fuegoleon standing at the window, only wearing his shorts, his hair unkempt but still so softly looking. The lights of the city coming from outside barely came into the room, but it was enough for Lital to admire his muscles, the wonderful red of his hair, his proud back, his big and elegant hands, one of his arms leaning against the window frame, looking outside without really seeing the lights of Clover or the night traffic, which noises sounded like coming from far away.

Yawning, Lital stood up, took his undershirt that was lying on the carpet floor and put it on, before joining Fuegoleon, hugging him from behind. She still wasn’t quite sure on her feet and he must have felt it.

“Have I been too rough with you? I’m sorry.”

“Not at all. I’m just still very tired. It is just passed midnight, after all.”

“I didn’t want to wake you up.”

“It wasn’t you, but Salamander.”

Lital heard him chuckle and it seemed like he turned his head to look at the bed.

“Salamander, how many times have I told you to not wake up my beloved in the middle of the night?”

“Meow!”

Lital and Fuegoleon just laughed softly at the protest of the cat. But sadly, it was short lived. And she knew exactly what was bothering the man she loved.

“I’m sorry that you had this fight with your grandfather today.”

“It was bound to happen and it is certainly not your fault, darling. I just wish I could have gone through him. But you know how stubborn he is. And he probably already forgot about our little fight already. Like with everything that doesn’t fit in his views.”

Well… that sounded very much like Achilles Vermillion, from what Lital heard of him.

Fuegoleon sighed. “I still care for my grandfather. But I fear it becomes more and more difficult for me to really love him. Mereoleona was right to just leave, cut ties with him and do her own thing.”

“She didn’t cut ties with a lot of the family and your grandfather is still too afraid of her to cut her out of his will.”

“Yes… I really thought that I could try to persuade him, after he was such a good mood about that contract with this rich family form Diamond. But… Augustus had to be with him today. And Nozels father. I don’t need to tell you that my rather liberal request came at a bad time. I wasn’t even direct, you know why.”

Lital couldn’t help but hug Fuegoleon even tighter. He really didn’t need to tell her. She knew exactly what this meant for them.

“We still have to be in secrecy for a while longer.”

It wasn’t a question, just a fact. Fuegoleon didn’t answered, but he still put a comforting hand on her arms.

Lital sighed deeply. She wasn’t surprised, but still terribly sad. It was just so unfair and so stupid. This was the 21stcentury, marrying out of duty, power or money should be a thing of the past since so long already.

Too bad that the majority of the rich society in Clover was somehow more strict than the middle ages about that topic.

It wasn’t her fault she was born in the slums, it wasn’t her fault that she was illegitimate. This didn’t determined who she was. But enough for many people in this town to consider her unworthy for one of the heirs of the Vermillion family, one of the three most powerful rich families in Clover.

At least, they would say that if they would knew. But Lital and Fuegoleon kept their relationship in secrecy so far. Only a handful of people knew and after ten years, their love just grew stronger and deeper.

But Lital didn’t want to be in secrecy. She wanted to be at Fuegoleons side for the rest of her life and show it to the world. She wanted to marry him, grew old with him. Simple things, but so important and yet still considered flimsy by this stupid rich society.

Fuegoleon wanted it as well. They have talked about it so much more since a few months. Their wish really wasn’t too much to ask for and yet…

Lital felt like she would start to cry. It was just so frustrating. And after today… It would have worked if Fuegoleon would have managed to convince his grandfather. But circumstances played again against them.

She was very close to not consider spring a happy and romantic season anymore.

Fuegoleon suddenly turned in her arms and cupped her face, brushing her bangs away. His beautiful purple eyes just showed the same sadness and frustration she was feeling, but there was still hope in them, this familiar resolution to not give up.

And the love he had for her.

“I’m as upset as you are, Lital. But do not give up. I certainly won’t. We haven’t come this far for nothing. We’ll continue to fail until we succeed. I love you and I won’t let one defeat take everything away.”

Lital couldn’t help but smile. This man could always feel the right words to comfort her. No wonder she fell in love with him all those years ago.

She leaned against him, savouring his presence, his strength, his determination. It was good to know that they won’t give up, that they could lean on each other each time they felt down. Lital closed her eyes.

“Fue, don’t you have sometimes the feeling that we are a couple from like a fantasy or a historical romance novel? Something like that.”

“Rather ridiculous, isn’t it? We are in the 21st century, after all.”

“It’s not us who made the situation rather ridiculous.”

“I know.”

There was silence again, more comforting this time. They just hold each other, the noise of the night traffic sounding from far away. Lital felt a bit ashamed that she felt so quickly frustrated for a moment. Almost as if it wasn’t worth it.

But it was worth it, she realized it every day again.

“Fue.”

“Hm?”

“I love you.”

“I love you too.”

The next moment, his lips were on hers for a short, loving kiss. A bit desperate maybe, but determined and so sweet. Just as fiery as all the passionate kisses they shared a few hours before.

When their lips parted, Fuegoleon rested his forehead against hers. “Let’s forget about our worries for tonight, my love. Tomorrow is another day.”

“Can I have cuddles before we fell asleep.”

“As you wish.”

Fuegoleon carried her up bridal style towards the bed. They cuddled and kissed a bit before falling asleep. Fuegoleon fell asleep first and Lital felt her own eyes closing quickly as well, when a thought crossed her mind before slumber took over her.

I hope no other couple will have the same difficulties we are facing right now.

[theindiegamesautistic]

A Short hike

probably spoiler free (I did my best, but no guarantees)

An impulsive lockdown purchase that I have yet to regret.

The idea is that you are a bird (I know, already brilliant) and you must climb to the top of hawk peak to get phone signal, so you can receive an important phonecall.

There's loads of other little guys (various creatures) to speak to with side quests and problems for you. Some of them just want a chat and they have some wonderful bits of life advice (I'm slightly joking, but some of its funny)

it claims to be 90 minutes of gameplay, and maybe, if someone with neurotypical level focusing skills made extra sure to stick to only the main quest with maximum efficiency, they could potentially complete it in a time close to that. I think I took about 4hrs to get to the top of hawk peak, then there's plenty left to do.

Personally, I don't think I've "completed" it. The boats update added more things to find and I know I've not found every golden feather yet. It's open world and there's enough going on that you can find many hours of activities, including toast!

sensory experience:

(this is based on my experience of it, so there's a chance I've missed bits)

It is in autumn colours, mostly muted, with some bright reds and greens (as shown in the picture above)

it has music that changes as the environment/circumstances change and feels like it progresses as you progress.

There are also background sounds as you interact with the environment (fires crackling, the boats engine, wind) and these, when playing with headphones, have a 3D effect (i.e. if the fire is on your characters left, you will hear the crackling on your left)

You can fly/dive with quite significant speed, causing the scenery to move fast rapidly, which made me a little dizzy, but it is difficult to create this situation by accident and it is not a required part of the game.

There is also a side of the island that is constantly experiencing thunder storms. It wasn't loud or unexpected enough to make me jump and there's no strobing, but it was definitely noticeable.

emotional experience:

Your character is unable to die and will not miss the phone call if you take a long time to get up hawk peak, which for me, lowers the stress.

Around the area with the thunderstorm, there is a small graveyard, but the style of the graphics means there's no names or any other details visible.

There are no deaths in the game.

The topic of the phonecall is revealed to be important to your character, and I believe it's implied that they are nervous about it, but you don't get more details until later.

Overall, it's fairly emotionally light and all characters are broadly friendly (some are a little blunt when they run out of things to say and want to get on with their task, but aren't we all)

Did I find it accessible?

(this is specific to me and what I find makes a game accessible, but it might be useful to people with similar access needs)

easy of learning controls: ⭐⭐⭐⭐

I found the controls intuitive and simple. Information is given by characters in the game, which means you can start immediately, however I do wish there was somewhere all the controls where written that I could refer back to without having to end the game (there might be, but if there is, I haven't found it)

processing speed/reaction time requirements: ⭐⭐⭐

the main quest doesn't require fast reactions or processing, however, there are a few side quests that do. these are not critical to the game, however, I found how long I needed to spend to complete them slightly frustrating. However, most of the side quests do not require fast processing.

focus requirement: ⭐⭐

the perspective changes within the game means that you sometimes need to change keys to walk in a straight line, which can mean you go off in an unexpected direction.

overall, yes, I found I was able to access all aspects of the game, even though a small number of things took me a little longer.

overall ratings

autumn vibes: 🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁 very

happy stims while playing: ✨✨✨✨ quite a few

time lost that i didn't notice:⌚⌚⌚⌚ lots

boats:🚤 only one that you get to drive, but it's alot of fun

[40sandfabulousaf]

大家好! I attempted the 250 calorie challenge again this week to highlight the hunger faced by Palestinians in Gaza. If this is your first time reading, you can find details in previous posts. This mini ready to eat meal contains tuna, corn, beans and carrots, totalling 171 calories. Even though I ate this for second breakfast in order to make it to lunch, I was very apprehensive. I. Barely. Made. It. But I did. This little meal was tasty even though I don't like beans. There're 3 flavours and I've found all of them palatable. I'll certainly buy them again.

I may not crave fastfood, but I do have cravings for other meals. During our weekly catch up, Grace mentioned her sushi lunch. Suddenly, I was reminded of vinegary pearl rice topped with fresh fish. The craving drove me nuts! Our local supermarket chain has a food hall selling various types of meals, including sushi. That was where I dashed to for my fix. This platter of 10 was mostly delicious. They added a tad too much mayo to the salmon roll; apart from that, I relished every bite. Can't believe I forgot about sushi when it's yummy. I must have it more often!

There was a new dish at the cai fan stall which I visit for lunch on return to office days - stirfried tau kwa with leek. I love leek so I ordered that, stirfried broccoli and cauliflower, fuyong egg and rice. Shredded carrots, sweet peas and onions were incorporated into the dishes. Pork and chicken were available, but I couldn't resist fuyong egg and don't regret my decision to order it. If I must name the reason a meatless meal isn't a difficult choice here, I would give all the credit to our hawkers. Their egg and tofu dishes taste incredible and their prices remain reasonable. I paid $3.20 for this filling lunch. Good luck finding salad or pasta at this price with as much nutrition when you dine out!

https://www.reuters.com/world/middle-east/un-experts-say-famine-has-spread-throughout-gaza-2024-07-09/

We've been having scorching afternoons but we also have thunderstorms and downpours. It can get better pretty cold in the office and malls so I bought a sweater. This fleece one is warm and not only did I find it stylish, Pa did too. The colours match with shorts and leggings in my wardrobe so yeah, I'll get alot of mileage. I've brought it out with me a few times already and wore it when the air-conditioning got too cold. So far, I'm happy with my buy and I'll definitely check out 361⁰ whenever I want cosy sweaters!

Please check out the Reuters article, guys, it's heartbreaking to see children reduced to pi bao gu (skin stretched around bones, emaciated) and dying from starvation in Gaza as a result of this genocidal war. Human rights should be for everyone. If it is only wielded as a geopolitical tool, it just seems hypocritical to me. Frankly, I no longer believe that proponents of human rights are sincere about wanting to make the world a better place. Because watching these Palestinians suffer just feel so wrong. 下次见!

[ofmanderley]

NIKOLAI + KRISTOFFER - GRENSELAND (NORWEGIAN TV SERIES) 

[77gigabytes]

Pickpocket {Finnick Odair x Reader}

Pickpocket! Reader x Finnick Odair

So this one's, suuuuuuper short 'cause I just need to get it out of my head.

I might go back and edit it when I get a better picture of it the whole scenario I want.

Also, I was meant to finish this up and the next one, like, 3 or 4 days ago, and post then...but then... I may or may not have gotten addicted to playing Sky: Children of the Light... maybe, just maybe

So I'm thinking...

Somehow, you've ended up as a maid for one of the Capitol families

You've got siblings back home in District 4 and you are their sole caretaker

Your parents passed away due to some sickness maybe?

"Y/N! We're leaving." You hear from the front of the house.

You scurry from the laundry room, wiping your hands on your apron and meet them at the door

"We won't be back until tomorrow night, I trust that you'll take care of the house."

Feet together, hands on top of one another on your stomach, shoulders back, head down.

Like clockwork.

Frankly, you're sick of it and if you succeed tonight, you'll never have to do it again.

You see their feet, and you can tell just from their shoes they're wearing something outrageous again.

"Farewell," You offer, "I'll see to it that everything is in order before your arrival tomorrow."

They hum and are filing out the door, which you gently shut after them.

❖· ────── · ·

You've been to these kinds of parties before.

You've accompanied the family you work for to be at their beck and call.

but this time, you're by yourself, and you have one objective tonight:

meet Finnick Odair, hopefully, seduce him enough to take whatever valuables you can, and then leave

You know how to act - how to blend in and also how to disappear

Though this dress is making it difficult to do anything

it's a deep blue at the bottom and transitions into a beige colour at the top

It's poking in the wrong places, a little too tight at the ribs. Luckily the skirt is flowy

You fiddle with the long mesh sleeves. From the cuffs, it has leaves embroidered all the way up to your collarbones, down your cleavage and to the middle of your torso

You're regretting coming now because you don't see the bronze-haired, green-eyed adonis everyone has been buzzing about, men and women alike.

You huff and make your way to the bar. You give a wave of your hand to the bartender, "Anything will do." you say and he promptly begins to make you a drink.

You sit on the stool, legs crossed and your nose scrunched at the mismatching perfumes suffused in the air

I need to find someone who knows the president... You look around the room but close your eyes quickly and turn back to the bar with how glaringly they dress

If I get an... appointment with, with Finnick for tomorrow morning, I can take whatever valuables and sell them off before they return...

You've stolen before...Food mostly, but when you're in the capitol you've pinched some wallets here and there, some necklaces and bracelets too.

You've already got a few stashed away in your purse.

You sigh, who the hell in here can I talk to?! I can't just bring it up casually.

You totally could, these Capitol people are crazy

As you stew in your thoughts, you close your eyes and your thoughts shift to your siblings. Most of them weren't your siblings by blood, but they might as well be. Poor things, orphaned so young.

"What's a lovely lady like you doing alone, all the way here?"

Your head whips to the voice so quickly you think you might've heard a crack.

Before you, stands Finnick Odair, himself.

BINGO! JACKPOT! Yahtzee! Whatever! What freakin' luck!

But now, it's time to put on a show.

You give him a quick once over, spotting a necklace and ring on his pointer finger

You put on a small smirk and look at him through half-lidded eyes, "And what's a handsome man like yourself doing? Coming over here to a lonely lady like me." You purr and turn your gaze to the various drinks on the shelves of the bar.

He chuckles, "Well," He starts and takes the seat next to you, "I thought that the dress you have on looks a lot like the beach. It's beautiful."

Your eyes flick up to his, not expecting that reply, but you shake your head, I have other things to worry about. Get in and then get out, you remind yourself

"Have you ever been?" He runs his fingers through his curls, "To the beach, I mean."

"Perhaps," you reply without missing a beat.

"How secretive." He sends you a smug smirk.

"We all have secrets, don't we?" You turn to him, switching your crossed legs and drawing attention to them, "And from what I heard," You reach out and fiddle with the smooth fabric of the lapels on his suit, "You like to keep secrets."

You stand up from your seat and take a few steps so that your shoulders brush against his, "And I've got many to tell." you whisper near his ear

It wasn't entirely wrong. Working as a maid for a Capitol family, you've overheard your fair share of secrets.

You found that the Capitol citizens were quite loose-lipped.

But you didn't have much use for those secrets, nor did you have anyone to share them with.

Now you do... if he followed you out, that is.

❖· ────── · ·

I really don't know if I like this one as much, but it was just something that came up in my head when I was writing my Finnick x OC fanfic

I pretty much wrote my OC's entire hunger games, mate,

so, please look forward to that instead haha ≧◡≦, although I'm still in the more final stages of planning to make sure everything correlates so it'll be a loooong while.

Have an amazing day!

Seven, Signing off :3

[beseira]

eunbinbe

"i know, i know! i'm trying not to buy everything i see either, but this is so cute," eunbin emphasizes once more. a beaming smile appears on her face when seira agrees, and she can't help but squeal a bit in excitement. "right? okay, i'm going to keep this for now because i'm pretty sure i'm going to find like ten other pieces of clothing i'll want to try out anyway," she explained. this would definitely take all day if they were to stop at every store they saw, but the discounted prices wouldn't be around forever, and eunbin needed to do some summer shopping anyway. it was always out with the old and in with the new, and she didn't want to miss out on this opportunity. "oh, i'm going to make sure you find something cute! what about those sundresses? you can never go wrong with buying a sundress."

all these discounts and a shopping trip was just what seira needed. though seira didn’t regret joining next gen, it sure had been hard, and she was happy it was over. though it was over though, it still lingered in her mind, she had too many questions, and sitting alone at home, it was difficult to ignore all those thoughts. going shopping was the distraction she needed and deserved.

“there’s too much cute stuff in this store” seira says as she looks around, already now fearing a bit whether they’ll ever make it out of here, and if they do, if they’ll still have money left once they leave the store. “ah i was looking for something orange, i feel like that colour suits me well”. she turns her head as eunbin speaks, now looking at the sundresses. “eek! look at this one” she says, pulling out an orange sundress with white flowers.

[bl00dn33dle]

Hii! love your layout :3 Could i get an age regression fic/fluff prompt 25 with cc!dream?

Thank you friend! i worked on it for a while tryna get it how i wanted it and i am proud of how it turned out :]

Pronouns: they/them

Pairing: cc!dream x reader

prompt: "you're hugging me too tight!"

Warnings: crying :(( dream gets upset but its okay he makes up for it :D let me know if i missed any

Dream had been streaming for the past 4 hours and you were starting to get lonely :( you had slipped into little space a couple hours ago and were trying your best to keep yourself entertained but it was proving to be pretty difficult. You had tried colouring, playing with your toys, even decorating your favourite bottle with stickers! but still, nothing seemed to be fun enough :< hmph.

And so, you did the only thing your little brain could think of. Well why not go see dada! Usually you knew not to disturb him while he was streaming. His fans could get pretty... intense. But you were feeling so small, and so you didn't exactly think things through. Picking up your favourite bunny you set off on a mission. To see dada!!

So when you went waddling into dreams room. Your padded feet softly hitting the floorboards. When you came in you saw Dream sitting at his desk but he was too enamoured by whatever game he was playing to see you, and so when you spoke fear flashed over his features and he rushed to mute his mic and turned, meeting your sparkling eyes with a stern, annoyed gaze. His eyes narrowed and the anger on his face scared you. Even if dream could get heated at times he never directed his anger at you, always sticking to being more soft and delicate with you, especially when you were so little.

You instantly shut down, stopping mid sentence. Oh no :(( you could already feel the tears pricking at your eyes, and the small sniffles building up in your chest. The taken aback and upset look on your features made dreams eyes widen in realisation. Of course you were in little space! regret hit his heart seeing you clutch the small bunny closer to your chest.

"sorry guys i gotta end stream here i'm gonna send you all over to karl's stream!! byebyeee"

When he turned around you were gone, though your soft sniffles and padded socks stepping through the hallway gave aware your exact whereabouts.

When dream got to you, he found you upset and crying into your soft plushie with your knees to your chest, until dreams gentle voice caressed your ears, encouraging you to peek your head out from under your plushie. He crouched down in front of you, a worried expression plastered on his face.

"hey sweetie... im sorry i made you upset, dada just got scared thats all."

Bringing a hand to the side of your face he wiped away the stray tears and stretched his arms out, welcoming you to cuddle into his chest. And as upset as you were, you couldn't resist his warm, comforting hugs. So you let your body fall limp into his chest.

"y-you're hugging me too tight" Dream exaggerated, pretending to fall to the floor, bringing you with him as he kept you snuggled into his chest.

Your small giggles filled his heart, and he felt nothing but pure joy and love for the little who trusted him so much.

"Now if i remember correctly... dada promised someone a movie huh" Your eyes perked up at the mention of a movie and he laughed at your excitement, standing up and easily picking you up, sitting you on his hip and giving a soft kiss to your forehead and nose.

"you want some ice cream?"

[helloalycia]

secret relationship // wanda maximoff

summary: you're the daughter of the famous Black Widow, which comes with its own set of hurdles such as revealing to her that you're dating the newest Avenger that she also happens to be mentoring – Wanda Maximoff. What could go wrong?

warning/s: minor (implied) violence and injury

author's note: okay so the request was the reader is Natasha's daughter and is struggling to tell Natasha that she's dating Wanda. All I know is I got excited (as usual) and this happened so yeah, enjoy! Also, Wanda’s age is always a mystery to me since it’s interpreted differently with everyone, so I tried my best to explain the age gap between you and natasha so things made sense.

masterlist | wattpad

"Did you know red onion and red cabbage is called 'red' instead of 'purple' because back in the old days, they didn't have enough words for colours so anything purple was defined as red?"

"The mission, Y/N," my mum, Natasha Romanoff, AKA Black Widow, scolded.

I sighed, my attention still focused on my surroundings and my gun directed ahead. "I know, I know. But did you know that the most common internet password is '123456'?"

"Y/N," Wanda, my girlfriend and teammate said with a laugh. "Stop it."

"Yeah, please, quit it," my mum added with an eye roll.

I smiled at Wanda, admiring how beautiful she looked when she hid her laugh. My mum wasn't aware we were dating, so I settled for sending her a playful wink before looking ahead.

I knew I had to focus on the mission – scouting out this abandoned HYDRA den – but it was boring. And it was obviously empty of any threats, so talking was my only pastime.

"Did you know the inventor of Pringles is buried in a Pringles can?" I said after a moment of silence, making my mum stop walking abruptly.

"Okay, you know what? New plan," she said, looking between Wanda and I. "Everyone split up. Take a look around. Stay alert. Keep in contact. Sound good?"

I quirked a brow. "You trying to get rid of me?"

She narrowed her eyes my way. "Yes."

I frowned, making Wanda crack a smile and nudge me in the shoulder.

"You need to learn to have an off button sometimes," she joked, her Sokovian accent shining through despite the voice lessons my mum was giving her. Honestly, I preferred her Sokovian accent to her American one.

"You love it," I teased, giving her a knowing smile, my mother completely unaware of the double meaning.

"Just do as I said," my mum said, already shooing me away. "Wanda, you know what to do. If you see or hear anything suspicious, use your comms."

"Yes, Miss Romanoff," Wanda said obediently, and I tried so hard to hold in laughter at her seriousness. I mean, it was great that she was respectful of my mother and her mentor, but God it was funny to witness.

"Once again, Wanda, you can just call me Nat," my mum said with a wince, trying to be polite. "Go on."

Wanda nodded and walked off, her gun raised as she'd practiced. I grinned at my mum, noticing the way she massaged her temple with mild agitation before her gaze fell to mine.

"Go. Now." She pointed behind me, and I stifled a laugh.

"Bet you love babysitting duty," I joked.

"It's not babysitting if I'm your mother," she pointed out. "Though sometimes, you make me regret not picking the baby instead of you."

"That baby would have been six years old now," I informed her. "If anything, I spared you the whole diaper thing and the outgrowing clothes thing and the– oh yeah! Not being able to speak thing!"

"At least they wouldn't be annoying me with stupid facts," she retorted, hand on her hip. "Now be a good agent and do your job."

I rolled my eyes playfully, knowing she was kidding. Whenever I annoyed her, she'd bring up the story of how it was between twelve year old me and a six-month old baby at the adoption centre. She was worried I'd view her as an older sister or something, hence her choice of adopting the baby instead. But I never did, as she was always way more mature than any twenty-seven year old I'd met or seen at the time. And maybe, I guess, I was really desperate to have a motherly figure, and she just happened to fit the bill.

"Aye, aye, Miss Romanoff," I saluted, making her raise an eyebrow threateningly. "Okay, geez, I'm going."

I wandered off, exploring the dishevelled HYDRA den with full focus. The brief clearly stated it was an abandoned site, but I stayed on alert anyway in case there were stragglers. As usual, I only got given half the facts because of my clearance level, so I knew we were looking for a hard drive, but I had no idea what was on it.

Being a seventeen year old working in S.H.I.E.L.D. wasn't exactly how I saw my life going when I grew up in an orphanage. I honestly never thought I'd get adopted, as rumours spread quite quickly through the orphanage that once you hit double digits, nobody wanted you. So, when the beautiful, red-headed Natasha Romanoff came in, looking for an addition to her family, I felt like the luckiest kid in the world because she chose me of all the kids there.

I definitely didn't expect her to be the Black Widow, nor to teach me everything she knew about espionage, stealth, hand-to-hand combat and much more. She ensured I was multi-lingual like her, preparing me for the many S.H.I.E.L.D. missions I would have to go on. There were times when I absolutely despised her, particularly when she overtrained me or stopped me from seeing my friends. And there were times when I wished she'd never adopted me, hating that I couldn't have a normal teenage experience.

But when it came down to it, I knew I couldn't have asked for a more caring, considerate and compassionate mother. I learnt early on into our relationship that she was unable to have kids of her own, hence her interest in adoption. And honestly speaking? That was probably the worst thing in the world because if anybody deserved a child of their own, it was Natasha Romanoff. I guess, in that sense, I was lucky to have all of her love to myself.

Now that I was older, I came to appreciate how awesome she was, especially when we got to go on missions together and I saw her awesomeness upfront. The only thing was, she was extremely overprotective, so it was difficult to get sent on the dangerous missions. Though, I guess, whenever I did, she was always there to have my back and I wouldn't have wanted it any other way.

Her overprotectiveness was also a reason why she didn't know about Wanda and I's relationship. Wanda had joined the Avengers a year ago after losing her brother in the battle against Ultron. She was a year older than me, so naturally we were drawn to each other, and before I knew it, our friendship became more. But of course, my mother could never know that. At least not yet.

"Empty here," I mumbled, rounding a corner into an empty room. As I looked through the rubbish on the desk, I continued, "Empty here... and here... and oh, look, here, too. What a surprise!"

"Y/N, I love you, but God help me I will kill you if you don't turn your damn mic off," my mother's voice came through my comms piece in my ear.

For once, I wasn't trying to piss her off, so I smiled sheepishly to myself and replied, "Sorry. Love you."

I could imagine the eye roll she was giving me in response, so continued to look around for the hard drive I saw on the brief. Still, there was nothing here.

My searching was interrupted when I heard a loud crash from a nearby room, like the sound of bricks tumbling against one another. I spun around, eyes widening with concern.

"Y/N? Wanda? What happened?" my mum's voice came through my ear, slightly reassuring me as it wasn't her who was caught up in anything. But then that meant–

"Wanda! What happened?" I replied worriedly, already rushing out of the room and to the source of the sound.

"I'm okay," Wanda's shaky voice came through my ear, which did nothing to ease my concern.

I found the room Wanda was in quite quickly, seeing her sat on the floor as if she'd been pushed. She had a deep cut on her forehead and looked visibly distressed. Running to her side, I kneeled down beside her and cupped her face, studying her head.

"Oh my God, are you okay?" The words tumbled from my mouth so quickly I wasn't sure if it was understandable.

She nodded slowly, accepting my hand and holding it for reassurance. I followed her gaze, seeing a hole in the wall ahead, bricks crumbling and dust beginning to settle. Laying on the floor through the hole and into the next room was a HYDRA soldier, clearly dead from the impact of hitting the bricks.

Wanda's power was magnificent, but hard to control. A year later and she was still learning its limits, but sometimes slip-ups like this happened. I was, admittedly, in awe of her actions.

"I'm sorry, I should have kept him alive like Miss Ro– Nat said," Wanda apologised suddenly, and I looked back at her to see her shaking her head. "He just– he startled me and I didn't know what I was doing until it happened. I thought–"

"Don't apologise," I cut her off, squeezing her hand gently, before looking back to the cut on her forehead. "I'm just glad you're okay. You did good."

Despite my words, I bit my lower lip to contain a frown, worried about her cut.

"Damn."

Wanda and I both turned to the doorway to see my mum, who stopped and took in the sight of the hole in the wall with partial surprise and partial amazement.

"Mum, we need to get her back to the quinjet," I said, pulling her attention away from the wall. She approached me as I said, "She needs medical assistance."

I didn't let go of Wanda's hand as I moved to the side for my mum to take a look. Gently guiding Wanda's chin to the side, she took a closer look at the gash on her forehead, expression showing nothing as usual.

"You'll be okay, honey," she reassured, letting go. Her eyes drifted to our connected hands briefly, but I figured she wouldn't piece anything together, so I didn't let go. She continued, "Let's get out of here. There's no hard drive anyway."

Wanda nodded and my mum and I helped her to stand up, me still not letting go of her hand.

"The hard drive is on him," Wanda spoke suddenly, nodding to the dead HYDRA agent. "I heard his thoughts before I– yeah."

My mum raised her brows with surprise. "Oh. Perfect. Y/N get the drive and let's go."

I pursed my lips, glancing at Wanda with concerned eyes. She gave me a small, reassuring smile, squeezing my hand subtly before letting go.

"Right, yeah," I said, swallowing hard.

I looked back to my mum, who seemed to be studying my expression, so I cleared my throat and left to get the drive. When I retrieved it, I jogged after Wanda and my mum, checking in on her with a small smile, before leading the way to the quinjet.

When we boarded the plane, I hung around Wanda and my mum as she helped the brunette to take a seat in the back. I noticed Wanda's momentary dizziness as she sat down and felt my chest tighten.

"Hey, you okay?" I asked, kneeling before her as my mum got the first aid kit.

Wanda gave me an endearing smile as I swiped at the blood dripping down her forehead.

"I'll be alright," she said, holding my gaze with comforting green eyes before they flickered to behind me.

"Okay, Y/N, stop hanging about and start the plane whilst I stitch Wanda up," my mum said, appearing from behind me and kneeling beside me.

I nodded, glancing between the needle, thread and disinfectant in her hands and Wanda's head. Reluctantly, I got up and left them both to it as I started up the plane and got us in the air. Once we were in the clear, I flicked on autopilot before heading back to Wanda and my mum to see how things were going.

"We'll have someone look at it properly when we get back to the tower," my mum was saying to Wanda, who was now stitched up and wearing a small bandage, "but it'll hold up for now." With a playful smile, she added, "You're not dying on me just yet."

Wanda cracked a smile and whilst I appreciated how lovely it was to see their closeness in a way I never usually saw, I was still troubled by her injury. Logically, I knew she'd be okay, but it never felt good to see her injured.

"Plane is on autopilot," I announced, making my presence known. My eyes never left Wanda's bandage as I asked, "Everything okay here?"

"You need to calm down," my mum joked, making me look her way. "It's not that serious. Just some stitches."

I smiled awkwardly, but I knew it was much more than that.

"Yeah, relax, it's not a big deal," Wanda added playfully.

Her eyes met mine and I knew she was communicating the same thing through her gaze, holding a seriousness that wasn't able to be shared verbally because of my mum's presence. I tilted my head, giving her a knowing look; she knew I was aware of how big a deal it was. All I wanted to do was give her a hug and kiss and not leave her side until she felt better. And she knew that.

"I'm gonna go fly the plane," my mum said suddenly, and I almost forgot she was standing there until she spoke up. "We'll get back to base quicker..."

I glanced at her, mildly confused at her sudden change of expression. She headed to the front of the quinjet, leaving Wanda and I alone.

"Seriously though, you should relax," Wanda said, sounding like she did when it was just her and I and nobody else. She had an amused smile on her lips as she watched me worry. "I'm fine. All stitched up."

I licked my lips, sulking, as I dragged myself over to the seat beside her. She laced our fingers together, pressing a kiss to the top of my hand before facing me with an easygoing smile.

"I'm fine," she repeated gently, lovingly, sweetly.

I offered her a small smile, before leaning forward to press a kiss to her bandage. "I know. Just don't worry me like that. Especially in front of my mum. I can't take it."

"It's cute," she noted, amusement returning. "It means a lot to know someone cares."

My shoulders relaxed. "I care too much. So, please don't test that."

She laughed and I felt my heart flutter in my chest, never getting used to the sound.

"I promise not to," she said, looking up at me through her lashes.

I leaned my head on her shoulder and kept ahold of her hand, staying with her until we arrived back at base. My mum flew us the whole way back, only coming to get us once we landed. I knew I should have left Wanda's side as to not raise suspicion with my mum, but I couldn't find it in myself to do so. I just hoped she would interpret it as two concerned friends rather than her daughter having a secret girlfriend.

"You should head to the medical wing to get checked out properly," my mum said once we were back at the tower, looking to Wanda.

"Yeah," I agreed a little too eagerly. "I'll go with you."

My mum gave me a curious look. "I mean, that's not necessary."

Wanda must have sensed my eagerness, as she said, "I'd appreciate the company, actually. I don't mind."

She shot me a subtle smile, eyes bright with reassurance.

"I'm happy to accompany you, Wanda," my mum offered, and I felt my mouth go dry.

"It's okay, mum," I said suddenly, making her look to me with pursed lips. "You can go debrief and I'll make sure Wanda is cool with everything."

Glancing between us, my mum finally nodded. "I see. I guess I'll see you both later then." She paused, looking between us once more, before adding, "You did good today. Both of you."

I looked down to my shoes as Wanda shot her a grateful smile. She walked away, leaving us be, and I immediately intertwined my fingers with Wanda's as the two of us headed to the medical wing.

"You may as well write desperate on your forehead," she teased with a beautiful smile.

"So funny," I said sarcastically, though a smile of my own was present. "Let's just get you checked out."

"If it means you'll stop pouting, then sure."

"Real jokester you are. Hilarious, honestly."

Her laughter surrounded me like a warm hug and I could have listened to it forever.

—

Since our mission together, I noticed the distance my mum was putting between her and I, and I had no idea why. I thought I was overthinking it and seeing things that weren't there, so I didn't follow up with it until one evening.

It was a rare occurrence for all of the Avengers to be at the tower at once, so when they were, we'd all have a 'family' dinner for some normalcy. Only, this time, I noticed how strange my mum was acting whenever I spoke to her. She'd either act super dismissive or give one word answers to my questions – once again, I wasn't sure if I was seeing things.

After dinner, everyone went their separate ways and Wanda and I stayed in the living-area to watch some TV. Though it was playing, the volume was lowered and neither of us were watching it. We were just talking about random stuff and enjoying each other's company.

"Okay, how about this one?" I said to Wanda, turning so I was facing her, a grin on my lips. "What did the clock do when it was hungry?"

As with all of my other attempts at making Wanda laugh, she stared at me with an amused smile and a quirked brow.

"Say it...," I encouraged, motioning for her to speak with my hand.

She sighed. "Okay, what did the clock do when it was hungry?" Mumbling, she added, "Even though clocks don't eat..."

I slapped her leg playfully. "Sshhh, you'll ruin the joke. And the answer is, they go back four seconds!"

Wanda didn't laugh, but she seemed entertained as she hid a smile. "Seriously?"

"Because of the number 'four' and the word 'for'," I explained. "C'mon, that's a good one!"

"D'you think you're funny?" she asked, eyeing me playfully. "Because you're not."

I shrugged, playing it off like I wasn't fussed. "I mean, I don't know about that... how about now?"

Before she could question me, I moved forward and began to tickle her sides, watching as she squirmed with laughter.

"Stop it!" she shouted, but her smile was as wide as ever as she was unable to stifle her laughter. "P-please! Y/N!"

"But you said I wasn't funny!" I retorted with a grin, practically straddling her as she attempted to push me off her. "I'm just checking if you still think that!"

Wanda was crying now, tears escaping the corners of her eyes as she continued to laugh. "I'm s-sorry! Y/N, stop!"

Before I could think how to respond, the doors to the living-area opened and in walked Steve Rogers AKA Captain America, a confused expression on his face as he saw me sat on Wanda.

"Hey, ladies," he greeted, raising an eyebrow. "You both good?"

I pulled my hands away from Wanda and breathed out, still smiling as I glanced down at her. She blew a strand of hair from her eyes and glared at me playfully.

"Yeah, just talking," I answered Steve, before being thrown off Wanda and to the floor with a thud.

"Just Y/N harassing me as usual," Wanda corrected, and I sat up to see her sitting up, too, fixing her hair.

Steve chuckled as he headed to the fridge in the connected kitchen. Wanda helped me back onto the couch, nudging me in the side as a response to the tickle fest, before leaning on me and stretching her legs across the couch.

"So, hey, what's up with you and your mum?" Steve asked as I continued to annoy Wanda by flicking her face.

"What do you mean?" I asked, not looking up as I grinned down at Wanda, watching as her eyes glowed red threateningly.

"Don't make me hurt you," she said teasingly, lifting a hand and summoning her powers, red wisps of energy becoming present.

I stopped flicking her and intertwined her hand in mine, watching as her eyes faded to its usual colour.

"She just seemed distant at dinner," Steve continued.

I looked up and saw he was leaning against the counter with a water bottle in his hand. Wanda continued to stretch, practically on top of me, probably to annoy me as I had been doing with her. I moved her hands out of my face as I nodded to Steve.

"So, you saw it too? She was being off, right?" I asked him, glad I wasn't just imagining things.

He nodded, gulping his water, before saying casually, "Definitely. What did you do? Finally tell her about you and Wanda?"

It took me a second to realise what he'd said, but when I did, my eyes widened and I spluttered out a terrible response. "What– what about Wanda and I?"

I glanced at Wanda as she began to sit up properly. She looked more confused than panicked.

"You know, that you're together," Steve said like it was obvious.

I cleared my throat. "What? Why would you think that?"

Steve smiled with confusion. "Wait, so you're not? But I thought–" He paused, pulling a face. "No, you are! Everybody thinks you are!"

I shrugged it off, though inside I was panicking. "I mean, even if that was the case, why do you think my mum knows?"

Steve nodded knowingly. "She's been off with you all night. And then I caught up with her after dinner and she wasn't in a very talkative mood. Just mumbled something like 'new girl, her age, pretty, nice, should have seen it coming'. I assumed she was talking about Wanda."

Heat crept up my neck with embarrassment and when I looked to Wanda, I saw her cheeks dusting a red colour, similar to the energy she could summon. She looked as flustered as I felt.

"Has your mum been okay with you before today?" Steve asked, trying to be helpful.

I chewed on my lower lip and shook my head. "Not since we got back from our last mission..."

Steve scrunched his face with sympathy. "Oof. You should probably talk to her then. You know how much she hates secrets."

I groaned internally. "Thanks for the reminder."

He saluted playfully, his stupid smile on his stupid face, before leaving Wanda and I alone again.

"Well, looks like she knows," I said to Wanda, sinking into the couch with hopes it would swallow me forever.

"She might not," Wanda tried to make me feel better, resting a hand on my leg. "It could be something else."

I gave her a knowing look. "She has to know. It's the only thing that makes sense. You heard Steve."

Wanda sighed, sinking into the couch beside me. "Yeah..." She glanced at me and I looked at her as she said, "I did tell you to tell her."

I forced a smile. "Gee, Wanda, that was helpful. Thanks."

Wanda rolled her eyes before leaning her head on my shoulder. "Sorry..."

I rested my hand on hers. "It's okay, sorry. I just– she's gonna be really mad that I kept this from her."

"Yeah, why did you do that again?" Wanda asked questioningly.

I massaged the tension between my eyebrows. "Because she's too overprotective. It gets too much to handle sometimes... Take my last boyfriend for example. He was some tool that cheated on me and, oh boy, my mum wanted to kill him. I had to physically restrain her from doing so."

"I don't blame her," Wanda quipped, a hint of bitterness in her voice.

I smiled a little, squeezing her hand. "I know... she ended up slashing his tyres and egging his car without telling me. But instead of egging the outside, she broke into it and egged the inside. A thoughtful take on a classic, I must admit."

Wanda laughed, her whole body shaking with pure amusement as she listened to the story. I couldn't help but smile myself, remembering it like it was yesterday. Definitely a fun time.

"I appreciated it, don't get me wrong," I added, smile fading. "I just didn't want that to happen again. I wanted to enjoy our relationship without anyone spying on us, y'know? But now she's gonna be super angry."

Wanda let go of my hand and rolled on top of me, leaning down on my chest so she could look me in the eyes. I wrapped my arms loosely around her to keep her steady.

"She only wants the best for you," Wanda told me gently. "You have to tell her you're sorry. Explain why you did what you did, but hear her out, too. She's your mum. Caring too much isn't a bad thing."

I groaned, knowing she was right. She smiled reassuringly, patting my chest.

"You get the caring too much thing from her by the way," she added, before leaning forward and pressing a haste kiss to my lips. "It's okay though because I love it."

I smiled, never really seeing it like that. Raising my hand, I brushed my thumb over the small bandage on her head; her injury was still healing, but she didn't let it bother her. Very Wanda-like.

"Thanks," I mumbled, meeting her gaze. "You always say the right thing."

"Which is why I'm going to tell you to get up and go to your mum," she ordered playfully, pushing herself off me and holding out her hand.

I let her pull me up before straightening up and taking a deep breath. Wanda was right. I just needed to be open and explain my piece. It would be fine.

—

So, it wasn't fine.

When I entered my mum's living quarters, she wasn't the happiest to see me. In fact, she actively turned her body to face her TV when I came through the door.

"Hey," I started with a small smile, fighting the nerves in my stomach. "Can we, er, can we talk?"

She grabbed the cushion on the couch next to her, hugging it to her chest. Her eyes didn't leave the TV, but the space next to her was free, so I took that as an opportunity to close the door and sit beside her.

The news was playing on the TV – headlines, I think – and they were talking about a new elected congressman in New York.

"Seriously? The news? Even in your free time?" I asked playfully, hoping it would lighten the mood.

She didn't even glance my way as she muttered, "I like to know what's happening in the world."

Losing my smile, I straightened up and cleared my throat. "Right, right..."

It went quiet as the TV played in the background and my mum said absolutely nothing. I grabbed the other cushion on the couch and hugged it to my chest, similar to her. It was a nervous habit that I picked up from, well, from her.

"You said you wanted to talk?" she reminded me. "So, talk."

Having the Black Widow as your mother wasn't something anyone could get used to. She could be the most caring, loving, protective person in the world, but she could also appear quiet, intimidating and ruthless like the trained assassin she was. Not the greatest combination when trying to open up to her.

"I think I know what you're thinking," I started, pinching my hand to distract from my growing anxiety.

Without hesitation, she bent forward to grab the TV remote and turned it off before turning to me with sad eyes.

"That's where you're wrong," she said calmly, and it was way worse than her yelling. I would have preferred her yelling to be honest. The disappointment in her voice was much worse. "You always assume you know what I'm thinking. What I'm going to say or do."

I avoided her eyes guiltily. "Mum, look, I know that I should have told you the truth. And I know how angry you are, but–"

"I'm not angry, Y/N!" she shouted, finally, standing up off the couch and creating space between us.

I winced. "You sound angry."

She put her hands on her hips, looking down to her feet and taking a breath. Her voice at normal volume, she said, "I'm upset. You– you didn't trust me enough to tell me the truth. Instead, I had to put it together when you acted how you did with Wanda after that mission and..." She paused, sighing. "Forget it."

"No, keep going," I pleaded, the guilt piercing through me sharply. "You're right."

She swallowed hard, glancing at me with glassy eyes. "I wouldn't have done anything. I know I have in the past, but this is Wanda we're talking about. I've been her mentor for a year. I care about her and– and– she's good. And she's good for you."

Okay, I definitely misread this whole thing because now my mum was upset, on the verge of tears, and I was the arsehole responsible for it.

"I'm so sorry," I said, standing up and moving forward to hold her arms. "I should have trusted you. I mean, it wasn't even about trust. I was just scared you'd react badly. But it wrong of me to assume that."

She frowned, looking down to her shoes. "I know I can be tough sometimes, but it's only because I care."

I thought back to Wanda's words and gave her a small smile. "I know. I get it from you."

"I am happy for you, you know," she said, glancing at me petulantly.

My expression softened. "Thank you. That means a lot coming from you."

Without another word, she pulled me in for a motherly hug, making me close my eyes and relax in her arms. I still felt horrible for making her feel like I couldn't trust her when it was anything but that.

"I'm sorry," I repeated quietly into her shoulder.

"I forgive you," she said, before pulling away and giving me a small smile. "Now tell me. You're happy?"

The thought of being with Wanda gave me butterflies and I couldn't help but smile in response. With a nod, I said, "I am."

She nodded, squeezing my shoulders gently before fully letting go. "Good. I'm glad you've got her... I know you can take care of yourself, but she's strong, too. She can look out for you when I'm not around anymore."

I shoved her in the shoulder. "Don't joke about that. She isn't replacing you and you're not going anywhere, you hear me?"

She laughed, nodding. "Not yet anyway. But sure, okay."

I relaxed and gave her a nervous smile. "So, you wanna meet Wanda? Like, as my girlfriend and not your student?"

She rolled her eyes playfully. "If I must."

I smiled widely, grabbing her hand and leading her to the door. "She loves you a lot, y'know. She wanted me to tell you about us as soon as we got together. She hated lying to you."

"Yeah because she knows that lying is wrong," she teased me, making me groan loudly. With a chuckle, she added, "I love her, too. She's definitely something."

"Hell yeah she is," I said in agreement, grinning to my mum as I dragged her to the living-area where I last left Wanda.

On the way, we passed Steve in the hall, who took notice of the smiles on our faces and nodded knowingly.

"Glad to see you worked it out," he said supportively.

"Thanks for the heads up," I told him gratefully as we passed him.

When we reached the living-area, I saw Wanda sat on the couch watching TV. When she saw who entered, she straightened up instantly, moving to stand and unsure what else to say or do. It was cute, the respect she had for my mum.

"Did you– I– She told you?" she stumbled over her words, starting to speak to me but eventually looking to my mum.

My mum glanced at me before meeting Wanda's nervous eyes. "She did."

Wanda licked her lips anxiously. "And you're okay with it...? Angry...? Wanna kill me...?"

I watched my mum, nodding encouragingly to her. She sighed before giving Wanda a small smile.

"No killing will be necessary," she reassured my girlfriend. "Unless, of course, you break my daughter's heart. Then in which case, I may have to find you when you're sleeping."

"Mum!" I complained, face falling into my hands with embarrassment.

"I'm just being truthful," my mum said with seriousness, before looking to Wanda expectantly.

Wanda surprisingly took it well, probably used to my mum's personality after training with her for a year. "I understand completely, Nat and I'll hold you to that. I have no intention of breaking Y/N's heart."

A rare, genuine smile appeared on my mother's lips. "I know you don't. Just–" She paused, glancing at me. "Keep her safe, yeah? She's a bit stupid sometimes."

Wanda laughed as my mum smiled with amusement, like it was an inside joke.

"Right here, you know," I reminded them with a wave of my hand.

They only rolled their eyes.

"I will," Wanda promised my mum. "Thank you for being okay with this."

My mum nodded, giving us both a final smile and once over, before saying, "I'll leave you to it. Goodnight."

Wanda and I bid our goodnights, watching her leave before a giant sigh of relief escaped our lips.

"You feel better?" Wanda asked me, grabbing my hand and tugging me to the couch.

She let me fall on her chest easily, snuggling up to her as she wrapped an arm around me and held me close. I inhaled her perfume, a familiar and comforting scent, as my head rested in the crook of her neck.

"I feel better," I answered, closing my eyes and letting her intertwine our fingers.

"I believe this is the part where you say I was right," she prompted, a hint of amusement in her words.

"Don't make me hurt you," I mumbled, making her laugh quietly beneath me.

"You're lucky I love you," she said, kissing the top of my head. "I guess opposites do attract. You're the stupid one and I'm the clever one."

"Wanda?"

"Yeah?"

"Fuck off."

She laughed again, and even though it was at me, I couldn't help the content smile from spreading on my lips.

[the-little-shadow]

Bouquet of Flowers

Warnings : Unrequited love, angst ending(?), THIS IS SO SHORT-

With help by : @snowflakestree or @snowwystree

I must not gaze at them although 

Your eyes are dawning day; 

I must not watch you as you go 

Your sun-illumined way; 

“(Y/N)..” Donna called.

“Hm? Oh hey.” You replied shortly while holding a bouquet of jasmine.

She gave you a look of confusion at first, but she couldn’t help then see a glint in your eyes as you came closer to her, “I didn’t expect to see you here so late? What can i help for you, Donna?” you ask her with a small smile.

There is no point dancing around the topic now, she’d already set in her mind that YOU are the one who always leaving her a bouquet of flowers, each meaning seemed to tie in with the sequence of events that had happened, your dishevelled appearance now only proving her point further.

I hear but I must never heed 

The fascinating note, 

Which, fluting like a river reed, 

Comes from your trembling throat;

 

“I-”

But deep down, she's really hesitate. Is it really you? Or maybe someone she doesn't know? She know that she's going to regret this.

“i-i.. I know it was you that always leaving me the bouquet flowers in front of my door, (Y/N).” She watched your shoulders suddenly tense, you laugh nervously and your eyes unable to meet hers as you put the bouquet of jasmine you are holding on the table,

“So i was right.. But why? Why didn’t you tell me before i'm in a relationship with someone else-” she ask while fidget her fingers but before she finish her sentence you cut her off.

I must not see upon your face 

Love's softly glowing spark; 

For there's the barrier of race, 

You're fair and I am dark.

“It's because you're just so happy with that person, silly.” Your voice croaked, “I didn’t want to take that happiness away from you, Donna.” you answered her question without any lies in it.

“Then I would never have guessed it was you,” You gave her a small smile, but the heartbreak in your eyes was evident. You looked really empty.

“I wish you would’ve said something to me, (Y/N)..” She felt her own tears starting to form in the corners of her eye, clumping in her lashes as they blurred her vision.

“i know, i'm sorry.” you apologized softly tp her, not wanting to see her reaction nor her face anymore.

There are words I wish I could take back. Moments I’d do anything to relive, to ask for answers that I never received. To let go of those I resented for so long.

It’s wrong to say that we’ve all known unrequited love. Because each of us hurts differently. Some move on easier. Others desperately try to find the logic in the inexplicable. And then there are a few who choose to place the pain in their hearts on to the page.

It’s the confessions from their unresolved romance that then help the rest of us encounter some sort of understanding of what has happened.

You love me, and I find you still

Yet I am I, who long to be

Lost as a light is lost in light.

What happens when there’s no escaping the memory of the one who did not love you back? When each day comes with their presence or name you feel like you cannot escape the pain.

The scar on your heart never seems to heal because you relive every difficult moment of indifference or rejection. It’s like being neck-deep in water,

yet you can’t help but stay where you are: somewhere between drowning and gasping for air.

“Oh, are you going to close the shop?” she ask again with her panic tone, you take a deep breath and exhale then shake your head slowly. “i hope that i can open the shop a little bit longer, but there are some business that i must finish. May you have a goodnight - and send my regards to your lover.”

“okay, i-.. I will, goodnight (Y/N).” she replied softly.

What was I going to say?

Slipped away probably because

it needn’t be said. At that edge

"Please be careful on the way, the lycans are always roaming around in the night like this..”

She hesitately nod her head and excuse herself to go back home, you wave your hand at her and watch her dissapear in the darkness of midnight.

almost not knowing but second

guessing the gain, loss, or effect

of an otherwise hesitant remark.

You put your hand on your chest - where your weak heart was placed, and it's beating so fast. You couldn't breath normally after she discover that the person who admire her in silence is you. The pain is too much.

The final bouquet you had given to her held a far deeper meaning than she could’ve imagined.

She held the bouquet tightly, letting her tears fall to the flowers. Feeling guilty and sorrow.

Slant of light on a brass box. The way

a passing thought knots the heart.

There’s nothing to say.

“Purple Hyacinth?” Donna ask while examining the bouquet.

“Yep, that person is giving you a bouquet of Purple Hyacinth.” you replied while brushing Daniela's hair. “well, what's the meaning of that flower? The colour is quite beautiful though.” Daniela chimed in.

Donna smiled as she search on the languange of flowers book. Then suddenly, her face falling when she read the description.

The purple hyacinth is a popular symbol of sorrow and regret.

“i'm so sorry, (Y/N)..”

[skyborn-reads]

📜 Inspiration Is Here — an intuitive reading

For artists, writers, creative people who are searching for their Muse 💖 If you're feeling burned out, this reading is for you:

Picture sources 1 ✦ 2 ✦ 3 ✦ 4

Sky 1 — Bubbles & Blasts

Card drawn: Seven of Cups (reversed)

The main blockage you have right now is pressure; pressure you put on yourself to perform well, and pressure from people's expectations. A few of you are also pressured by a deadline. Step away from your project for a moment and take a breather. It's not easy to deliver what is expected of you, but soon you'll realise that most of what pressures you is fear and self doubt bringing you down. You have what it takes to do your best, you just have to believe in yourself more. Only then can you be in the best state to deliver the best results.

Inspirations for you: Loud jingles, beads, pearls, colourful stuff, loud happy stuff, popping sounds, things that remind you of childhood nostalgia, bubbles, children's laughter, candy balls, lights, the cup (on the card) that is filled with those pink purple and green balls

Sky 2 — Row, Row, Row Your Boat

Card drawn: Six of Swords (reversed)

You've been feeling down for a while. You feel beaten down, depressed, feeling like you can never be happy again. I'm sorry that you've been feeling this way! You're very strong and are trying to move on from this phase of your life even though it is difficult. Don't worry, as I see that the sadness is coming to a close. Like the unicorn on the card you're rowing your boat to a safer, happier place and I'm proud of you that you didn't let life beat you down!

Inspiration for you: aquatic themes, sailing, multicolour cottonballs/candy, the other side, jungle-trekking, baking, soft sweetness, sugary French pastries, leaving behind whatever was in the past and getting onto the next stage of your life, not looking back, trust, build a stable foundation before you start something, make sure you're ready before committing yourself to something new

Sky 3 — London Bridge is Falling Down

Card drawn: The Lovers (reversed)

First off what I notice is that you've stepped out of a period full of inspiration to a period where it's replaced with blocks and nothing else. Sometimes you go back and forth between these two modes. Very stark contrast. You're stuck between these two modes trying to push yourself forward but it's getting increasingly difficult. I have a feeling you are quite picky when it comes to your project and the direction you want it to go. It's like you want your project to go this way but when you're inspired to move another way you become stubborn and insist on it to be done the way you wanted. In a way this is good because you have a vivid vision of how you want the project to go but in another way this is also limiting you and might cause you to overlook certain potential. When it comes to creative things sometimes we have to be able to direct it well like a captain but also be free flow about it so it doesn't get too restrictive.

Inspirations for you: walking the path less trodden path, letting go of set standard for a while and just go freeform, look around you and see what items you could use that you've never noticed before, DIY, make something with your hands with usually overlooked material, lake, playing ball, reflection on the lake, fairies, nature, fresh cherries and tomatoes

Sky 4 — I Hear You Amidst The War

Card drawn: Ten of Wands

There appears to be a lot of argumentative energy that causes this blockage. Perhaps you have just gotten out of a stressful argument with some coworkers or people within your community. You're trying to wrap it up and move on from this energy but deep down you know the damage has already been done. You can't just forget and move on no matter how much you wish to maintain the peace. What you can do though is to forgive yourself and any of your involvement that you feel regretful about. Have compassion for yourself and for those involved in the argument even if you don't see eye to eye with them. You're still learning, they're still learning and on this journey of bettering yourselves mistakes can happen. The fact that you're still trying to stay strong after this proves that you're stronger than what life throws at you. At the end of the day you have to lick your wounds and pick up where you left off, bravely, and with an unwavering smile. I wish you joy and a lot of success with what you're doing! 💕

Inspirations for you: the rear end, getting ready, warmups, catch your breath, it's okay to take a hiatus as long as you look after yourself, take time away, sugar candy, indulge in what you love, higher learning, more reading and more research, coming back with a head full of knowledge + new ideas, love all hate none, sometimes you need quick wit + a dash of creativity to solve problems, don't distant yourself from people you love, learn to detach but still see the situation objectively, heart full of love, crystals

Please follow & reblog for more readings! 💕

~ Skyborn

[penwieldingdreamer]

Dante's Prayer - Chapter 3

The 2nd part of the Ball, hope you guys will like it. Let me know what you think about this. A big thanks to my beta @fortheloveoffanfic for keeping me on track with the characters 😉

Warnings: cursing

Words: 2094

"Mrs. Gray, why don't we retreat to the parlour for a drink and leave the men to talk their business." Helene suggested linking her satin gloved arm with Polly's and led her away from Thomas and her husband, nodding at the two men in parting. 

"Lady McCann, please call me Polly, after all, we'll be family soon once the wedding is done." the Shelby matriarch told her nephews soon-to-be mother in law with a smile, the two women nearly gliding over to the smaller parlour of Castletown House. 

Returning the smile, the duchess nodded her head. "By all means, then I'm Helene. We will be family soon, given that my daughter won't bail on us." A soft sigh left her lips, knowing Saoirse could be difficult. "Your nephew will have his work cut out for him, I reckon." 

"Oh he'll learn how to deal with it. I have a good feeling that once they'll get to know each other they'll find common ground." The words were reassuring, yet both women knew that it would take a while for their children - in Polly's case she felt like her brother's children were just like her own - to warm up to the idea of sharing a life together. 

Arriving at the doors separating the sitting room from the grand ballroom, Helene nodded at the butler, who let them enter. They sat down at the round table, plush armchairs providing comfort as the Birmingham resident looked around the room. Polly thought back to the time when she had to work hard to provide for her family and be there for Ada and Finn during the war, and all she could feel was gratefulness toward Tommy who was able to give them the life they led now. 

"Has Thomas told you what he wants his wedding to be like?" the mother of three inquired, nodding at the butler in thanks for bringing them both refreshments and leaned back into the high-backed armchair. "I gather now that it is his second wedding he might want to change a few things." 

Taking a sip from the champagne, the gypsy lightly shook her head. "So far, he hasn't said anything. He only does this out of duty to the family. I told him it was a good deal, but other than that he's not going to object to anything. All I can ask of you is considering a custom my family on my mother's side has partook in every time during a wedding." Polly wasn't too sure, the duchess would agree to traditions of the travelling folks but the soft smile on her face and the light nod gave her hope. 

"I haven't always been a duchess, Polly." the blonde lady started, holding the Flute glas in her hand and watching the champagne sparkle in the soft glow of the lamps. "My mother originated from Germany, her cousin married the emperor of Austria and she was made Empress of Austria and Hungary. I often visited her when I was still a child and Sisi would visit the travelling folks of Hungary. Not all is as it seems, my daughter has the same spirit in her as Elizabeth did. Headstrong, modern, loyal to a fault, kind and with a childish wonder the war has snuffed out in many people. I do hope that Thomas won't try to do what the war hasn't been able to do. Despite me agreeing to this arrangement without her consent, she is still my little angel and I will grant you your customs just like we have ours, but should your nephew hurt her in any way, he will wish for war to take him again."

Nodding her head, Polly grinned at Helene, knowing they would get along splendidly. Protective of her family, just like herself, the Shelby matriarch knew that there was a good future ahead, bright was still to be questioned, but good at least. 

Just then the decorated glass doors of the light coloured parlour flew open, a disheveled looking Arthur standing there, eyes ablaze and his face red from anger. 

"Did ya know, Pol?" he asked storming over to his aunt, hands already grabbing for her arms. "Did ya know 'bout 'er, hm?" 

Polly had never been someone to be frightened or threatened, especially not by her family, so she wouldn't start now and still Arthur always had a soft spot in her heart. Delivering a hard slap, she pushed the eldest of the brothers away from her, regret shining in her eyes. "What the fuck are ya talkin' about, Arthur?" 

"I'm fuckin' talking about Niamh." he glared, his cheeks already turning a darker shade of red from anger and the hit he received. "She's been here all them years, pregnant with ma son, so 'm askin' again: did ya know 'bout it?" 

Wide eyed, Polly felt the wheels in her head turning, remembering the girl Arthur had left behind to marry Linda, the redheaded beauty in the back of the church. "She was at the wedding, didn't say a thing, just left when it was over. That's all I know." 

Letting out a heavy sigh, Arthur stumbled back into the armchair on the other side of his aunt, closing his eyes to order the thoughts in his head flitting about like butterflies. "What am I gonna do now?" Polly moved over to him, pulling Arthur into a tight hug because she knew it was hard on him. 

Even though she wasn't a fan of Linda, her nephew loved her and she had to live with that. Now he needed to make a decision on what to do with the mother of his first child. "You need to talk to her, that much is clear. And get to know him, too." 

Nodding his head against his aunt's belly, Arthur felt a small portion of the weight lifting of his shoulders. Linda would be furious, she already was with him leaving for Ireland to be part of the wedding preparations. Nothing had been decided yet, but the eldest Shelby had a distinct feeling, that Lady McCann would want the ceremony to take place in their home and he already dreaded the day the whole family would again sit on Tommy's side of the church and Linda coming face to face with his former lover and mother of his first son.

"I thought you'd have ta greet guests." he said, a cigarette perched between his lips as he watched his wife-to-be gazing at the sky. 

"And I thought you would talk about business with my father." she replied, a smirk grazing her features and might he say it looked more like a small smile than a smirk. 

Her body leaned against the banister and Tommy couldn't help but let his eyes roam over it, breathing in the smoke of the cigarette he had missed all evening. "There's not much business to talk about when there's a wedding about to take place." 

Nodding her head, Saoirse turned her face towards his own as he leaned against the stone parapet next to her. "I hope Arthur has calmed down again after his encounter with Niamh when I left." she said after a moment of silence.

"Ach, he's fine. Needs to talk to her, though." Tommy shrugged, his stormy blues void of emotion as he stubbed out the cigarette on the banister. "His wife's goin' to have his hide, but he'll get over it." 

Shaking her head, Saoirse looked away from the gang leader, feeling like the little progress they had made went up in smoke just like the cigarette. "You shouldn't be so indifferent to the feelings of others, one day you might not have anyone left to turn to." 

"Often enough you only have yourself to rely on." he replied before he stood again, running a hand through his short hair and holding the other out to her. "We shouldn't make your guests believe that we hate each other, it's bad for business." 

Snorting, the youngest of three took his hand, feeling the warmth of Tommy's skin through the satin of her glove as he led her inside to the ballroom. "Who said anything about me liking you? I don't really care what my guests think, mother's guests on the other hand, that would be a shame. After all, they came all the way from Austria and London." 

"I see, you're not going to make it easy for me, are you?" he wondered, twirling her around so they could dance to the waltz the orchestra started to play. "What is this marriage going to look like, hm?" 

Putting her left hand on his shoulder, Saoirse mentally thanked her mother for making her take the dance lessons in Vienna or else the future bride of Birmingham's most known gangster would have been an embarrassment. Her right hand delicately laid in his left and she couldn't help but wonder if they could do more than just hold a gun and kill. "I believe you'd like me to play the obedient wife, staying at your house and doing nothing, what with your fortune now. I heard you have a son, so probably be a mother to him, while you go out and do whatever you do." 

"So, ya do know something 'bout me." he smirked, leading her across the grand room, unaware of the other dancers and their families. The pair danced in their own world and voiced their opinion on the upcoming union. "And here I thought ya didn't know anything." 

"My sisters talk, Mister Shelby, although I didn't know which one my husband-to-be was, I still heard their opinions on you loud and clear." 

The smirk on his lips widened at the thought of what Amalie and Louise had told their sister. "An' what pray tell did they tell ya?" 

"Oh, you know, that you're a gangster, cold as ice, a former war hero and would do anything to get money." Saoirse shrugged, trying to rile him up as she saw his blue eyes darken. Tommy knew that he had to keep it cool. It wouldn't do him good to drag her off and…no, he wouldn't yell at her and make a scene, that would break the deal he made with her mother. He'd rather enjoy the rest of his life while it lasted. 

Pulling her tighter into his body, he felt a satisfied grin make its way onto his face at her gasp. "You'd do well to keep those comments to a minimum. That money you so kindly brought up will grant you safety among Birmingham and the rest of England and Scotland. I don't want another of me wife killed because she wouldn't listen and had a mind of her own."

"Well then, you'd better look for another wife because I can be just as stubborn as you, Mister Shelby." 

"I'd rather not. You're more than enough." Wincing at the thought of having to go through that process again, Tommy shook his head. The music had changed and another waltz was played. "Besides, finding a good woman that freely accepts my son is quite rare in these times."

Pursing her lips, Saoirse looked up into his stormy blue eyes. "I couldn't imagine someone not liking your son. Judging by what Louise told me about him, I take it he's a ray of sunshine." 

"Are you really trying to make me hate you right now? But yes, Charlie is in fact a ray of sunshine despite having me as his father." Before the youngest daughter of the Duke could say anything, Tommy had twirled her outward, keeping his eyes on her face as he read the delight written all over it. 

He couldn't help but enjoy these moments, couldn't remember the last time he danced like this with anyone that hadn't been Grace. When Saoirse had returned to his arms, she sent him a grin, a genuine one at that. "I'm not trying to make you hate me, I was stating a fact and to be honest I can't wait to meet your son." 

Nodding his head at her answer, he led her around the ballroom for one final dance. "In two weeks you will meet him, so I do hope you won't change your mind about this arrangement." 

"Don't do anything to make me change it and I'll be there." she answered him, her right hand squeezing his left tighter than before and Tommy couldn't help but grin at her attempt to threaten him. Life would be a lot more interesting once the wedding was over. 

tagging

@fortheloveoffanfic @fics-not-tragedies

[why-the-face]

Top 5 of 2020

I was tagged by @justsomeoneunordinary​

rules: it’s time to love yourselves! choose your 5 (ish) favorite works you created in the past year (fics, art, edits, etc.) and link them below to reflect on the amazing things you brought into the world in 2020. tag as many writers/artists/etc. as you want (fan or original) so we can spread the love and link each other to awesome works!

This is probably my last post of 2020, and I had to take a couple of days to think about this because I really have no recollection of which works were made this year and which ones were made the previous year. 😅

I know which one was my least fave, but the top faves are a bit more difficult. This was a year of great growth in my art for me. I'm starting to settle into a style (starting to! I don't think I've found it yet), backgrounds became more and more intricate... And each piece helped in that in their own way.

I'm gonna have to settle for 5, but just know that this list is likely to change in like 5 minutes. I'm also not counting commissions because that would make this absolutely impossible.

4 Seasons

(I didn't link to the original post because only now I realise I never actually posted the full thing here..... Oops?)

This is a bit of a cheat. I didn't START the drawings in 2020, but since it was completed this year with Fall and Winter, I'm counting it as a 2020 piece. So sue me!

It's always going to be one of my faves, I think. It's the first time I went heavy with the background... I mean, this thing is almost all background. I also forced to work with limited colour palettes for each season which was a lot of fun.

I have Spring and Winter set as lock screen and home screen backgrounds. It works really well!

Train Ride 

(click link for full picture)

It is by far the piece I've done that has been the most popular, everywhere I've posted it. And I don't really know why. I guess the number of characters involved? This is by far the most characters I have ever added to a piece. And I have silently promised myself never to do that again. This just took so long, and the poses were complex, and the details, but once it was finished that was such a satisfying feeling.

Even though one of the ideas I have for 2021 involve even more characters. Uh Oh.

First Date

(click link for full comic)

We go from one of the most popular to one of the least popular. 😅 But I don't really care, I'm really happy with how this turned out. One thing I really want to start doing is little comics, building up to one day where I can make a multipage  comic on my own, and this was the first step in that direction. Well, technically the second. But still, I'm really happy with this, even if it's not anyone else's fave.

Take a Break

(click link for full picture)

Ah yes, the most intricate background I've ever done. I guess my mindset after "Train Ride" was "Hey, this was pretty hard to draw. LET'S MAKE IT HARDER!"

No regrets though. I really don't have a lot to say that I haven't already said other than working on those screens and the details there was so much fun, I was gutted when I realised some of it wouldn't show because of the composition. But then again, maybe I should have planned it better so they would.

Found Soulmate

(click link for full picture)

The most experimental one out of all the pieces I've done and... it was an absolute joy to draw this, from start to finish! It's also probably the least popular art piece I've posted, but in this case I kind of get it, since it's so far from my style and so different from everything else I post.

But what can I say? I had a blast! It was a joy to draw! I want to draw more pixel art of fake 8-bit Marvel dating games with these two! I was GENUINELY considering learning some basic programming to make a mini game like this. I have them as mini prints with UV coating around Stephen and Tony and I love them too. This was the most fun I've had drawing anything this year so I had to add it here.

[m-aster-of-spinjitzu]

orange and gold

...I just need more Cole and Vania content, they seem like they'd be great friends.

Basically it's just 'Cole goes to visit her there, they almost burn down the kitchen, and make way too many puns', lol.

Set a few months after Master of the Mountain, but before Seabound or The Island.

Also yeah, I couldn't think of a better title, sue me- I just know that they wear one of the colours at some point, so... 🤦‍♀️😂

Trigger warnings: none I think? Huh-

Also, bingo!! I really need to learn better time management, dear freaking gosh- I hope I'm not too late though? I know it's like half a day late, eek- and I was supposed to post this earlier, but I ended up literally falling asleep while writing it😂

Thank you so much Fabro, for hosting such a cool event!:D Your comments on my fics literally never fail to make my day<3. And I'm so glad that I met so many awesome, really skilled people through this event too - it's been a lot of fun working alongside y'all:D, I wish I'd had more time to interact instead of posting stuff and vanishing lol, but exams be like:////

Prompt: cooking (does baking count as cooking? I realized too late lol-) from @ninjago-bingo 's warm board.

Word Count: 2497

---

Trying to escape from killer dire-bats hadn't been on Cole's to do list today - although the mountains were kind of beautiful.

It was a bit difficult to see them while he was being dragged to his death, but hey, didn't Jay always tell them to be more positive?

That was, until he made the mistake of looking down.

Miles of snowcapped mountains touched the pastel blue sky, but he was more focused on exactly how high he was from the ground.

Great.

Trying to swing back onto the Bounty, he didn't notice a golden-winged blur shoot past the bat, almost dropping their spear in haste.

"Let my friend go, or I'll-"

"Vania?"

She throws the spear at the bird, successfully knocking one of its wings.

Huh. She must've been practicing - throwing with accuracy while flying seemed kinda difficult.

"I'm so sorry!" she replies, grabbing his arm before he fell down too. She winces at the strain on her wings, almost dropping him onto the deck. "I was supposed to come earlier, but there was an issue with one of the mines, and it took forever to-"

"There ain't anything in this world that's managed to kill me yet," he replies jokingly, checking that the autopilot hadn't been damaged. "I doubt an angry bird is going to be the first."

"Didn't you mention that you became a ghost once? Pretty sure that means you were dead-"

"Shh, that's not an important detail," he jokes.

"If you say so," she replies with a grin. "Did I mention that Chompy's been tearing down the palace flower arrangements again?"

"Send my regards to the gardener-"

"Did you just make a pun?"

"Remind me why I decided to visit you again?"

"Because you love me?" she asks stepping onto the ground as the Bounty landed gently.

"I hereby crown you as my platonic soulmate," Cole deadpans, taking her hand. "Vania and Cole-"

"Destined to annoy each other for eternity," she giggles, swinging their hands up and down. "But seriously - thanks. I don't think I realized how much work being a queen was."

"What's it like?"

"I mean - I'm glad that people trust me, and they come to me if they have a problem, but the paperwork is a nightmare. I never get to go outside anymore, I swear."

"Paperwork? Also, you just invited me here for a week. I don't wanna disturb you?"

"Nah, I cleared my schedule, don't worry. And trust me, you don't want to know. Everything requires some sort of official written thing, and it's so boring-"

"Official? But you're the queen?"

"Well, yeah, but I don't really want to change something unless it benefits the people. Not after..."

Her smile dims, eyes straying to the palace walls.

Oh- oh.

"You're nothing like him," Cole says firmly, squeezing her hand. "I mean, if you need to take a break, or you can make your job a bit easier by cutting out something unnecessary, that's just gonna help you become a better queen. You've definitely got the interests of your people at heart, and that's the most important thing, you know? And well, uh, everything seems to be going great so far - you don't have to beat yourself up over someone else's mistakes."

"Thanks," she replies softly, her smile slowly returning. "Speaking of breaks, what do you think we should do this time?"

"You could show me around the city again?"

"You've already seen everything cool," Vania giggles, skipping ahead of him. "We don't renovate much - unlike you guys-"

"Hey, it's not our fault that our city gets destroyed every few months-"

"More like every few days," she teases, tying back her golden hair. "How about we find some dragons to adopt?"

"Tempting, but where would you keep them?"

"They could sleep in my room-"

She breaks off when she notices him laughing. "What?"

"N- nothing," Cole replies, in between laughs. "Jay and I just made a bet."

"On what?"

"How many dragons you've adopted. I bet at least six, he bet fifteen."

"Well, jokes on both of you - I'm pretty sure my advisor's going to throw a fit if I show up with another one," she starts, giggling. "We've got twenty living in the palace right now."

"Twenty dragons?"

"They're so cute! You just look into their adorable little eyes," Vania pauses for breath, continuing her animated gesturing, "and you can't help but wanna hug them!"

"Oh, Jay's going to be so mad."

"Aww, I'm sorry guys. They're just too adorable!"

"...Wanna hear a funny story?"

"Yeah, sure!"

"I actually used to be terrified of dragons-"

"No way!" Vania exclaims. "Y'all have been on a lot of adventures though, so-"

"Nah, we used to have our own dragons at first. They were pretty cool! I just- I'm a simple guy! Huge animals with wings are scary up close when you're barely a teenager."

"Or when you're really short-"

"We're the same height!" Cole exclaims, facepalming in a bit of a fondly exasperated way.

"I'm two years younger than you-"

---

"Ugh, whose idea was this?"

"Yours," Vania grins, sitting down on the kitchen counter.

"You were supposed to help me, not leave me high and dry!" Cole accuses jokingly, staring at all the appliances they'd found in the cupboards.

"'One must always be prepared for new adventures,'" she quotes seamlessly, waving one of- what was his name again? Mulch something? Oh! Clutch! Some explorer he was, leaving them to die in the pyramid - Clutch Powers' books in the air.

"Fine," he sighs, staring at the old recipe book she'd found in one of their back cupboards. "But you've gotta help me? I almost burned down-" "Woah, what? If you finish that sentence with 'kitchen'-" "In my defense, Kai was playing a prank on me-" "In my defense, I wouldn't like to explain how the queen of Shintaro burnt down the palace by teaching one of her friends to cook," she grins, flipping through the pages. "What do you wanna start with?" "Something simple?" "Have you ever tried baking bread before? It's a lot of fun!" "I haven't really had the time, but that sounds kinda interesting."

He skims the recipe, raising his eyebrows. "Wait, why does this take hours? I thought you said it was simple?"

"Trust me, it is," she laughs, adding, "besides, I still wanna hear about all your adventures!" "Uh... okay," Cole replies hesitantly, "but if this fails, I'm so sorry." "Give yourself some credit, you guys literally saved the world! Multiple times!" "Bold of y'all to assume we know how we did it," he laughs, only half-kidding. "Besides. I botched soup once."

"I've botched toast," she mock-sighs, smiling. "Pretty sure that makes us even."

"Lemme get this straight. You've messed up toasting bread, but you can bake it from scratch?"

"Trust me, I don't know either," she giggles, trying to open a brightly coloured packet of... something? Did flour come in packets that small?

"Uh, why are you opening something called 'feast'?" he asks, eyebrows creased in confusion.

"Feast," she echoes, trying to stifle her laughter. "Off to a... rocky start, aren't we?"

It took him a second.

"I already regret this," he jokes, facepalming. "But I'd say that your puns are, uh, gold."

"I've un- unleashed-" breaking off, she half-falls off the counter, laughing so hard her face starts to go red, "a monster."

---

"Uh, is it supposed to look like that?" Cole asks, frowning.

The mixture looked less like the dough he'd been expecting - more like one of Jay's inventions gone wrong.

Badly wrong, he thought, eyes widening at the goopy mess of foam that threatened to spill over the jug.

"The yeast?" Vania echoes, poking her head out of one of the cupboards. "Yeah, all good! It always looks a little gross, and you're gonna doubt ever eating bread again, but at least it doesn't taste like it's fermented-"

"It's what?"

"Yeah," she grimaces, exaggerating her disgust a bit. "If aliens ever fell from the sky, they'd think we were crazy for eating bread-"

"Aliens? I think we're a bit crazy!" Cole exclaims, trying not to laugh.

Vania smiles, then sighs, lugging a huge bag of flour onto the counter. "I can never open these bags properly," she starts, eyeing the the bag a bit warily, "and it always makes such a huge mess all over the kitchen. You'd think they'd make it easier for people to use, right? I swear-"

He jokingly puts his hands over his ears. "I can't hear you!" "But you know that I've sworn off swearing-" she replies, breaking off with a laugh. "Pun not intended - that actually made sense in my head. I swear!"

"No," Cole interjects with a grin, shaking his head. "You don't, remember?"

"See, this is why we're friends-"

"Friends? Is that all I am to you?"

"Oh, be quiet," she shoots back, exaggeratedly dragging a hand down her face. "I mean, sure, just because everyone thinks that we're dating doesn't mean that we-"

Wait. What?

"People think that we're dating?" he asks, clamping a hand over his mouth in a poor attempt to muffle his laughter. "I- I- really?"

"I know, right?"

"Even my friends thought so at first," he confesses, dragging a hand down his face. "I mean, as much as I love you-"

"I love you too," Vania replies, completely seriously. "Even if you'll always be more like an annoying-"

"Hey-"

"Sibling to me than anything else," she finishes, grabbing a pair of scissors. Cole watches, a little alarmed, as she stabs them into the flour bag over and over.

"Is it... supposed to be this difficult to just open the bag? Seems kinda stupid-"

"Well, er, they have this piece of paper with glue that you're supposed to pull away from the rest of the bag, but it never works properly and I-"

"Well, we could always make our own flour," Cole interjects, laughing. "I mean, I've got a scythe? Let's go!"

"Uh, but we don't have wheat growing here. I don't think it'd suit the climate very well?"

"Wheat a shame," Cole sighs jokingly, measuring out the flour (which had, finally, escaped the bag).

"Oh my gosh," Vania deadpans, "you did not just-"

"Yep, I did."

"You're horrible," she giggles, "then again, I was the one who started this whole debacle, so I think we'll share the blame."

"Debacle? Where'd you pick that one up from? Sounds kinda cool-"

"Oh, it's from a book someone wrote about you guys," Vania says casually, pouring a cup of water into the bowl.

"Hey, uh-" Cole starts hesitantly, twisting his fingers back and forth, then breaks off. "Why'd you read all that stuff about us, anyways? Adventure books don't really seem like something you read a lot, since we have similar favorite books. I mean..."

"Well, um..." Vania trails off, clearly uncomfortable. "Uh- I guess, well, it sounds kinda stupid, but I'd never really met anyone my age who wasn't a royal or something. I... er, I didn't want to be left out, you know?"

Cole thinks back to a scroll; a quest, a sacrifice. One that his friends never seemed to really notice, unless it was with horror or flinches. Not that he blamed them, but - joking about how he was much more useful to the team when he was freaking dead than he was before he'd stumbled and fell in the temple?

That had been a bit far, even for his best friend. Locks could always be picked or something, he didn't need to be a ghost to provide some sort of value-

Well, that's not completely true, is it? a small voice questions, and he can't keep his hands from shaking a little.

"Jay here thinks you're the least valuable ninja."

Not enough to be a performer. Now, not good enough to even be a ninja, apparently.

Well, he reminds himself firmly, you don't have to be the best - just stand up to those who are cruel and unjust.

Nothing but a scar that glowed warm orange occasionally left of the whole Cursed Realm ordeal, sometimes it was all too easy to forget - or pretend - that it had never even happened in the first place.

Other times, like when he'd dropped a glass of water on the floor and his hands hadn't stopped shaking for hours, or when he woke up screaming, expecting to fall through his bed again, it still felt like he was trapped as a ghost. Literally - and maybe a little figuratively as well.

Yeah. Yeah, I know.

"Thanks for trusting me with that," he replies softly. "And I'm sorry. That sounds... horrible, but, honestly, you're a pretty cool person, and I ain't just saying that because we're friends. People can be awful, and they can- they can leave, but you don't need to pretend to be someone you're not for people to accept you. I kinda know what it's like, and it's... just, uh, not great."

"No, thank you," Vania says, rubbing her eyes. "You're pretty cool, too. And I'm glad that we become friends, even if wasn't in the- the, er, greatest circumstances."

"Right back at ya. The fall was pretty terrifying, though," Cole says casually, as if memories of that nightmarish plunge into the depths of earth don't still send shivers down his spine.

"No, definitely! I was so sure we were gonna splat onto the ground or something, thank gosh we didn't."

"Yeah..." Cole trails off, reading the recipe they'd been following. "Oh- do we just leave the bowl somewhere for a few hours now?"

"Oh, yeah," Vania answers. "Other than clean up the kitchen, what else do you wanna do?"

"That's kind of you, but, ah, I don't mind. You can choose something."

"I don't mind either," she replies, covering the bowl with a dishcloth. "Seriously, I don't."

"Same here though."

"Really, I don't mind-" Vania breaks off with a laugh, adding, "Well, actually, there is something."

She doesn't elaborate, thoughtfully gazing out the window.

"Well, what is it? Don't keep me in the dark."

"Ugh, it's kinda stupid-"

"I'm sure that it's not- well, unless you want to try to jump off a flying ship with a homemade parachute to prove a bet to someone-"

"Do I even wanna know?"

"...uh, probably not. We're way too crazy sometimes, our Master has a hard time keeping us in check. Your thing, though?"

"Can I give you a hug?"

Cole blinks for a second, expecting some sort of punchline.

"That's your thing?"

"Well, yeah- I mean, I said it was kinda stupid-"

"No no, that's not what I meant. You're so sweet - that's all."

"Well, not more than you-"

"Nah, you're sweeter-"

"Let's just call it a tie," Vania says with a smile, reaching over to give her friend a hug. "Thank you so much, I swear- well, no, I don't, but you know, anyways-"

"Yeah," Cole replies, laughing softly. "I know."

[becausegoodbye]

Okay, so I adore My Hero Academia, but there are some scenes that really irk me.

I get that sexism and fanservice come with the territory with shounen anime, but somehow I've never gotten used to it. The show will be awesome and fun for dozens of episodes at a time, but then all of a sudden the girl classmates at UA will get tricked into wearing skimpy outfits they're humiliated by, or creepshots will be taken of them without their consent, or they'll be groped and demeaned by someone who simply lies when confronted about it. Depiction doesn't automatically mean endorsement, but these moments are often played for laughs in a way that makes it difficult to sustain a reading of the show as adequately critical of this stuff. It's only occasional, but it's a frustrating stain on an otherwise great show.

The genesis of this project came when I was considering giving my little 9-year-old nephew My Hero Academia to watch (because I knew he'd love it), and I decided that I wasn't actually comfortable giving it to him as-is. When I sat down and looked at it though, I realised that the sexism wasn't exactly ... integral. It was just occasional scenes, usually not at all plot-critical, that mostly felt like they'd been added to an already fully functional story after a dictate from above to include more fanservice. So I set about making a 'nephew cut': a lightly edited version of the show that just got rid of the worst bits of sexism, misogyny, and objectifying fanservice.

There honestly wasn't all that much of it. I only ended up making edits to 17 out of 113 episodes as of the end of season five. I didn't get rid of everything questionable on a gender-politics level – just the worst offenders: the grossest stuff, the really disheartening stuff, the stuff I remembered actively cringing at. This is obviously an extremely subjective endeavour, and other people would inevitably draw the line in different places. But my guiding intuitions were always specifically about my young nephew. 'What would I regret exposing him to?'

I want to stress: this isn't merely a prudish cut of My Hero Academia. Teens being off-colour is fine; Mineta being too horny to live is fine. I'm not trying to make some blanket puritanical bowdlerisation here, and I obviously support the original versions continuing to be available to all who want them. But this edit is specifically about misogyny, and the level of misogyny I'm comfortable introducing into my nephew's life. When a girl character's consent is violated and it's treated as comic relief, that straightforwardly minimises and normalises the violation. When the show punishes a boy for being a perv, but still rewards the viewer with a cheesecake shot of the girls half-dressed as a direct result of the perv's actions, that reinforces the objectification and provides implicit meta-justification for his behaviour. When everyone knows that 'oh, Mineta is just like that', that invites the viewer to similarly laugh off the missing stairs in their own lives. If my nephew was 14, I probably wouldn't have bothered making these edits, but 9? You're a goddamn sponge when you're 9, and if the colourful fun show about superpowers tells you that it's funny when girls get sexually assaulted, I don't think it's a stretch to suppose that that could burrow its way into your intuitions in a way that'll be tricky to dig out later.

I'm not a professional editor by any stretch of the imagination, and this is honestly a pretty clumsy job. Some scenes I was able to cut in their entirety fairly seamlessly, but there are plenty of other noticeable 'jumps'. Even with that, though, I've been struck by how much I prefer these versions. I made the edits for my nephew (because there's so much cool stuff in this show outside of those scenes that I wanted him to be able to enjoy), but for my money, it's just a much more fun show when you don't have to worry as much about weird misogyny being played for laughs around the next corner. I've made these available publicly hoping that maybe someone else will find them useful, but even if they don't – even if literally the only person who ever sees them is my nephew – I consider the project well worth having done.

My Hero Academia - becausegoodbye's Less-Sexist Edit [NOTE: I originally had the entire show up for download with my edited episodes among them, but I eventually needed the Google Drive space for other things. So I've trimmed it down to just hosting the *edited* episodes, which you can download and slot into your own files of the show if desired.]

. For the curious, these are the specific scenes that I edited out:

S02E02 - 9:52 - Mt Lady sex-appealing her way to some free food, then being shamed for it by Kamui Woods.

S02E06 - 10:30, 12:35- Mineta plotting to trick the girls into wearing skimpy cheerleader outfits, which humiliates them. (Note: they wear the outfits in so many scenes, it wasn't possible to edit out the entirety of this subplot. So the girls still inexplicably appear a bunch of times wearing the cheerleader outfits, which isn't ideal, but at least the whole deception/humiliation angle is cut.)

S02E20 - 5:17 - Mineta going on a creepy little misogynistic rant about how "all women are demons at heart". 11:15 - Mineta peeping in on the girls' locker room. (This is a classic example of the show trying to 'have it both ways' imo, where Mineta is punished for his perviness, but the audience still gets the cheesecake shot of the girls half-undressed as a direct result of his actions. This reinforces the objectification of the girls and provides an unsettling meta-justification for Mineta's violating actions, and it stinks.)

S03E01 - 9:20, 10:01 - This one was a bit tricky. I would have liked to have edited out the entire scheme by Mineta and Kaminari to use the pool to see the girls in their swimsuits, but it's a little too embedded into everything. Their scheme also doesn't work and the girls get the better end of the deal, so I guess it's not the worst of it? I've taken the half-measure of just editing out the cheesecake shot where they're imagining the girls in bikinis, and then also the bit where Mineta's like "hey, school swimsuits are still pretty hot" and Kaminari says "have some standards, dude", just because the implications there about how desire is supposed to work are ... not great.

S03E02 - 4:37 - Butt shot of the girls as Mineta slavers over them. (This one wouldn't be cut if it was just Mineta being horny, but again, it's when the show makes aesthetic choices that lean into the objectification that it enters a different category.) 16:38 - Fanservice shot of the girls bathing. (The whole storyline of Mineta trying to climb the fence to perv on them and getting stopped by Kota is a little too plot-critical to cut in its entirety – particularly as Midoriya then saves Kota from falling – but I've at least cut the 'having it both ways' cheesecake shot.)

S03E13 - Mineta's a boundary-crossing creep in this ep in a bunch of ways, the more egregious and easily cuttable being: 9:13 - drooling over the proximity to the girls' dorms. 13:42 - more drooling at the prospect of nonconsensually rummaging through the girls' stuff. 14:49 - "Guys like this always have a super pervy side". 17:16 - Smelling Hagakure's underwear.

S03E14 - 12:31 - Mei falling on top of Midoria and the godawful 'boingggg' of her breasts.

S03E25 - 4:52 - Mineta crossing a line in his level of creepiness towards Nejire.

S04E02 - 20:00 - Sir Nighteye 'tickle torturing' Bubble Girl while she's literally strapped to a machine, which is deeply sadistic and uncomfortable. (I had to make a bunch of tricky little edits to make it work, but the larger scene - Midoriya meeting Nighteye and failing to make him laugh - still holds together.)

S04E03 - 1:30 to 5:39 - a bunch of little edits to be consistent with the changes to the previous episode. 19:04 - Mineta staring at Mina's breasts and the show kinda doing the same.

S04E16 - 9:23 - Weird oversexual interaction between Camie and the kids she's supposed to be babysitting.

S04E18 - 6:16 - Kaminari's demeaning 'maid cafe' idea.

S05E01 - 8:19 - Mineta leering at Yaoyorozu. (Not the worst of Mineta by a long shot, but everyone else in this montage gets to have their moment of coolness uninterrupted, and I just feel that Yaoyorozu deserves that too.)

S05E03 - 10:28 - Ururaka recalling Midoria's encounter with Mei's breasts from S03E14.

S05E11 - 6:01 - Mineta sexually assaulting Mina by deliberately pushing himself into her breasts.

S05E12 - 3:32 - Mina referencing the above sexual assault and Mineta lying about it, pretending it was an accident.

S05E13 - 5:40 - Cheesecake butt-and-boob shots of Mt Lady and Midnight. 16:40 - Mineta taking nonconsensual creepshots of the girls at the Christmas party.

[ficklewish]

Fear Glow

Star Tear AU! Todoroki x reader

Word count: 1.2k

Genre: Angst

✿✼:*ﾟ:.｡..｡.:*･ﾟﾟ･*｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆✿✼:*ﾟ:.｡..｡.:*･ﾟﾟ･*.・✫

You always thought those unrequited love diseases were just to scare those with high expectations, keeping them grounded from making strange fantasies about love in their heads. You learned the hard way that they are real, not just works of fiction. You were glad it wasn't hanahaki, and yet, it still hurts just as much as you knew the truth of your one sided love. But no matter how hard you tried, you couldn't stop loving him, even if you knew the outcome. 

It was past midnight, and you were still awake. How could you sleep knowing you had fallen for someone who didn't love you back? At first, you had given yourself small pep talks, saying that he did have feelings for you, as he acted more freely around you than the rest of class 1A. That was when it started. You had seen Todoroki and Ochaco talking and you thought nothing of it, that was until you saw how he spoke to him. He seemed free, and was happy. It was just as if he was talking to you. You felt your heart shatter a bit, and there was a lump in your throat, signaling tears on their way. Quickly hurrying to your dorm room, you lock the door just in time before the first few tears fall.

That was 2 hours ago, and yet here you still are, on your bed holding back more tears. After the first few fell, you tried your damn hardest to hold the rest back, but you don't know how much longer you can. You kept repeating in your head that you could've seen it wrong, that they're just friends, that you weren't special and anyone could make him that happy, not just you. And yet, you couldn't help but feel sad. You had gotten your hopes up, and now were facing the consequences. The more you thought about it, the worse you felt, until you couldn't hold back your tears anymore. One by one they fell, silent sobs leaving your throat. You tried again to stop them, closing your eyes to rub against them. Opening them, you came upon a strange sight. Your tears were glowing, reminding you of the stars just outside your window. You stood from your bed, your tears falling to the floor, making a sort of glass breaking noise once hitting the ground. 

You were terrified. Your tears had slowed down a bit in the midst of your panic to grab your computer to try and figure out why your tears were glowing. Clicking on a reliable source, you started reading. 

"The star tear illness is similar to the hanahaki disease. The illness born from subjects of unrequited love in which the patient starts to cry coloured tears similar to stars; hence the name. Along with the coloured tears, often there is a crystalline sound or similar noises when a tear shatters on a solid plan. The disease affects the victims eyes, making them turn color blind and, in rare cases, make the victim lose sight. The illness would disappear if the victim got their feelings required romantically and not in the matter of friendship. Although the damage already done won't disappear."

……shit.

You had been crying everyday since then. You would continue to see Todoroki with someone else looking as happy as he could be, and you couldn't help but feel crushed by it. He had noticed that you had become distant recently, but you would brush it off, pining it on you being tired, and he believed it. Every time. And so, you would cry daily, your tears being a bright blue color and shattering like glass once hitting the ground. It had been about 2 weeks when you finally started feeling the effects of the illness, or more like seeing the effects. Your vision was becoming dull, as if the colors were slowly being drained away. It was becoming blurry, meshed together. Todoroki noticed how differently you were acting, and decided to confront you about it. 

"Y/N. Is everything alright, you seem constantly on edge." You couldn't tell him, he'd try everything to stop the illness, not knowing he's the reason why you have it in the first place. "Don't worry about me Todoroki, I'm just tired from studying." Sheepishly looking away, you try to walk away from him, however, he catches your wrist before you can leave. "Are you sure? You can talk to me about anything…" You felt tears coming up, so you made up some lame excuse to leave and ran, Todoroki watching you run off with a worried expression on his face. 

It had become your mission to avoid Todoroki as much as you could, you felt horrible for doing it, but every glance at him made you feel like bawling. It didn't help that your vision had been getting worse by the day. You had begun to bump into small things, and telling the difference between colors was becoming more and more difficult. You didn't know how much longer you could see until you couldn't anymore. Todoroki had a small suspicion that you were avoiding him, so he did everything he could to give you space, but he couldn't help but be worried whenever he saw you bump into something or when you couldn't distinguish between colors. You had never been like that before, so why were you having vision problems? He couldn't take it anymore, he had to talk to you. 

It was night, and you were finally having a crying free night. You were playing Genshin Impact (play it, shit is fun asf) when you heard a soft knock at your door. Confused, you make your way to open it, and regret that decision once you see who was on the other side. "Hey, may I talk to you?" Todoroki was in his, what you assumed, pajamas. You knew this was it, you couldn't run away from him anymore. "Um…sure." Moving to the side, you gesture him in, and he stands in the middle of your room. "What did you want to talk about?"

He faces you, eyes holding an emotion you couldn't quite place. "What's wrong? Why are you avoiding me? Is everything alright?" Ah, of course, those questions. You turn away from him, trying to hide your sadness. "I'm sorry Todoroki, I've just been busy and tired, I didn't mean to avoid you. I'm alright though, don't worry." Giving a forced smile, you hope he drops it. However, he's more stubborn than you remember. 

"You're lying, I can see it." He stands directly in front of you and puts his hand under your chin, forcing you to look him in the eyes. Your resolve is slowly breaking, and you want to just spill everything to him...but you don't. "Todoroki, I'm fine...just tired and stressed, I promise." He doesn't believe you, but he complies, not wanting to force you to do something you don't want. "I'm here for you Y/N, okay? I'm your friend, it's okay to talk to me." You didn't trust your voice, so you nodded. The second he left and closed the door, you fell to your knees. The tears had come back at full force, and it felt as though you were crying out glass. But you couldn't stop them. Deciding to try to sleep tonight, you open your eyes. Or, you thought you did. 

'Why is it dark?' You couldn't tell if your eyes we're open or not. Reaching up to touch them, they are indeed open, which could only mean that it was too late.

The illness had finished its job. 

✿✼:*ﾟ:.｡..｡.:*･ﾟﾟ･*｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆✿✼:*ﾟ:.｡..｡.:*･ﾟﾟ･*.・✫

a/n: this is so bad, it's all over the place HBSKDKD

[imaginejamesandsirius]

Hey there! I’ve been in love with your stories for a while now on AO3 so I wanted to make a request! Can we have a pining!James and Oblivious!Sirius with a tiny bit of angst but then some fluff (or maybe smut if you feel like it) okay thank you -T.C.

Sirius would like to think that he knew James well. Quite well. Better than anyone, really. From who his favourite Quidditch player was at the time to his ever-changing favourite colour, and that certainly included who he fancied. It was therefore the most ridiculous thing in the world where Moony-- of all the people, it was Moony, who hadn't realised Mary meant a date when she said, "Would you like to go on a date with me to Three Broomsticks?"-- told him that James fancied him. He actually said the words, "Padfoot, Prongs fancies you." He said that to Sirius's face. Not only that, but he'd left whatever he was doing outside to come in and tell Sirius that. He went out of his way to say that, which made it even stranger. 

Sirius rolled his eyes. Honestly, where did Moony get that from? "He does not." 

"Trust me, he does." 

"Since when do you get involved in James's love life?" Sirius asked raising an eyebrow. 

"Since now. Really Padfoot, he does. I'm  pretty sure he's in love with you." 

Sirius rolled his eyes again. Even if James was in love with him-- which he wasn't-- Remus wouldn't know about it. He couldn't notice shite on his own, and James never would've told him himself. Besides, they had a Marauder's pact to stay out of each other's love lives after Sirius embarrassed Wormtail rather badly back in fourth year-- in his defense, it had totally worked and he'd gotten a date out of it just as planned. Point was, Remus wasn't about to actually interfere with something like that even if he somehow did have insider knowledge that James fancied him. Which he didn't. 

That would make this a very roundabout way of trying to get Sirius to embarrass himself in front of James. The real joke was that Sirius didn't get embarrassed, not when it concerned James. There were only so many times you could interrupt someone wanking-- and vice versa-- before you become impervious to it, and after that, nothing could embarrass you in front of them. Of course, Moony was a very easily embarrassed person and likely had no concept of living a full week without it. 

After Sirius ignored him for long enough, Moony left. It was their last summer before their last year of Hogwarts. He would've thought that Remus wanted to live it to its fullest instead of doing this. Whatever helped little wolfy feel better, he guessed. 

It did made him think, though. Not about James fancying him, because that was quite impossible, but James... well, he was rather fit. And it's not like either of them were dating anyone, so what would be the harm in trying it out? 

*

James regretted telling Wormtail and Moony anything. He really, truly did. The point of telling them that he was head over heels for Sirius was so that they wouldn't say something while they were all together. If James got all heart-eyed in front of them, he wanted them to keep their mouths shut about it. 

Evidently, he couldn't trust people in this group for shite. 

"You told him?" James asked, voice squeaking. His voice hadn't done that in over year, but the little scratch in his throat still felt familiar. "Remus, what the fuck!" He threw a handful of grass at him. "You're not supposed to tell him!" 

"Prongs, relax. He didn't even believe me." 

That brought James up short. "What?" 

"I told him-- figured I'd do us all a favour and tell him instead of letting you pine uselessly for ages and be miserable-- but he didn't believe me. So relax, your secret is safe." 

James just stared at him, eyes wide. 

"Er, Prongs?" Peter said, looking at him with a hint of concern. "You alright there, mate?" 

"I'm going to kill you," he whispered. 

"Me? What did I do?" 

"Not you. Him," James said, stabbing a finger in Remus's direction with a glare. "He's the one who couldn't keep his bloody mouth shut!" He stormed off after that, despite knowing that it made him look like he was seven again. Sirius, when James found him after going back inside, didn't act like anything had happened. Maybe Moony had been lying about telling him in some bid to get him to spill his guts, because that was more believable than Sirius being told and acting like absolutely nothing had happened. Your best mate fancying you was big shite, even if you thought it was fake; it would raise the question of why that lie would be at all believable in the first place. 

"Hey," James said, keeping his voice even. 

"Hey," Sirius replied, just as neutral. To be fair to Sirius, it's not like he was training his voice; he just didn't have anything to be upset over. He was reading some muggle magazine about motorbikes, from the look of it. Either that or it was just a whole bunch of photos of motorbikes, which wouldn't really surprise him. 

"Did Moony talk to you?" 

"Yeah. He's getting senile in his old age. What is it? Seven wolf years to one human year? He's like, over a hundred by that logic. How much longer can we really expect for him to last?" 

"If you're suggesting killing Moony, I agree," James said, throwing himself down on the couch next to Sirius. 

"Maybe a stern talking to will set the old man straight." 

"Doubtful." Sirius flipped the magazine closed and leaned towards James. He pressed a quick kiss to James's mouth, then leaned away and opened his magazine again like nothing had happened. 

James blinked at him. Then blinked again. "Did you kiss me?" 

"Yeah." He turned the page. Then he snorted. "Why do people always insist on yellow paint? It hasn't looked good on a machine in the history of the world." 

"Yellow paint? Really?" James repeated incredulously. Remus goes and flaps his mouth to Sirius, Sirius acts like nothing happened, and then he goes and kisses him! And then he acts like that's nothing either. 

"Right?" Sirius said, apparently taking James's words for agreement that motorbikes shouldn't be painted yellow. 

James snatched the magazine from him, glaring. 

"Hey," Sirius protested. "Give it back, Prongs." 

"You kissed me, and yellow paint is what you want to talk about?" 

Sirius shrugged, holding out a hand expectantly. 

James, in disregard for all the nice things he usually did for Sirius, threw the magazine at him angrily. He was a little surprised by it, same as Sirius judging by the look of shock on his face. "If this is your idea of a prank, it's not sodding funny," James growled, storming off. He'd come in to make sure they were okay, not to get his feelings thrown in his face. Buggering up their friendship was the last thing he wanted, but having Sirius mock it was the worst way it could happen. 

*

Okay, after getting a little space and the rest of the night to think about it, Sirius came to the conclusion that maybe kissing James hadn't been his best decision. He'd wanted to see if there was any truth to what Remus had said, and kissing him had seemed like the easiest way to go about it. Bad news was that it had pissed James off, but the good news was that it got Sirius the answer he needed: James fancied him. The worse news he had though, was that he deserved James's anger. He'd done it because he was curious, not because he thought that he returned those feelings. The best news was that, while thinking about all of this, he came to the conclusion that he fancied James too. That was going to make everything else easier to deal with, but he still sucked bollocks that he hadn't known he felt that way earlier. It was enough to make him think he was stupid, which obviously wasn't true. 

Now he had to figure out how to get James not to be mad at him anymore. Sirius wasn't too great at this sort of thing. He was a lot better at making people miserable than making them happy, and through the years of their friendship, James didn't often need cheering up. It had been lucky for Sirius, but it meant that he was at a loss now. 

Wormtail and Moony weren't here anymore, having gone home for the next couple days to see their families for once; Sirius was pretty sure they saw the Potter parents more often than their own. It made sneaking over to James's room all that easier. 

James looked over at him when he entered, quietly shutting the door behind him, then groaned and pulled the duvet over his face. "Can't you let me mope?" James moaned. 

"Nope. You get sad when you mope." 

"I only mope when I'm already sad, you berk." 

Sirius tugged the covers away from his face. As usual, James looked strangely innocent without his glasses on, and his mussed hair only added to the effect. "Well. Stop being sad." 

James rolled his eyes. "Thanks, I don't know why I didn't try that." 

"I should've asked before I kissed you," Sirius said, sitting down on the side of the bed, and James stiffened. 

"I don't want to talk about it," he mumbled, hoping desperately that Sirius would leave it. He didn't want to talk about it now, and he didn't want to talk about it later. He wanted to pretend like it had never happened and that he hadn't told Remus shite because then he would be able to pine in quiet misery like he'd been doing for the past few months. Moony just had to bugger it all up. 

"What I should've said," Sirius continued, as if James hadn't said a word and wasn't mid-crisis, "was that you're fit as hell." Sirius twisted to throw a leg over James's hips so he was sitting astride him and leaned down so his hair was hanging between them as he put his hands on the bed by James's head for balance. "And that while Moony had no business sticking his nose where it didn't belong, you should have said something to me before he had the chance." 

James suddenly found the air rather thin. He swallowed around a lump in his throat and tried to find the proper response to that, but it was difficult to think with Sirius staring at him like that-- all intense and close, and like the only thing he wanted to hear was what James had to say. The fact that he was sitting on him was not helping James's brain form coherent thoughts, because his blood was pumping a little further south in his body. 

"You gonna kiss me, James? Or do I have to tell you that this is all I've thought of since you ran off?" 

"You weren't very clear with your intentions," James managed to stutter out in his defense. Personally, he thought getting that many words out at once was a wondrous achievement. 

Sirius smirked. "Am I being clear now?" 

James had to swallow again. He was more aware of Sirius's arse than he should be while trying to have a talk about his feelings, but it was right on top of him and he was only human. "Not really. You're acting like it's just physical, and I don't- that's not all I want for us." 

Sirius's expression softened. "James. Kiss me now. Kiss me tomorrow. Kiss me in a month, and in a year. That's what I want. Does that sound just physical?" 

"Not really," James admitted. "But you gotta admit, kissing me like that, and then this... it doesn't really look like you're in love." His face erupted in heat as he realised what he said. "Not that I'm in love with you, that's-" he laughed nervously. 

"I love you," Sirius said before James could dig himself into a deeper hole, "and no offense James, but I think you're lying." He leaned down a little more, which scooted him further down James's body. A hint of his smirk came back when he felt that James was half-hard under him. "Even without that, I'd know that you're lying. You really think you can keep shite from me? I know everything about you." 

"Bugger off," James muttered, but then he reached up and pulled Sirius the rest of the way down.