#/ i am 100 percent referring to rita's ending pic in the credits with the light bulb LOL

[bravewolfvesperia]

"Don't you know how incredible you are?" // ( Self Loathing Starters ) from Flynn!

@tenebriism

When he put it like that... no, Yuri supposed he didn't. Sure, he had some traits that others might be deem admirable, but most people weren't completely irredeemable individuals with no good qualities. Other than that, Yuri tended to view himself as very average. Between the two of them, it was always Flynn who had patience enough to deal with things that needed to be done. It was Flynn who had the temperament to be able to properly enact the change they wanted.

Yuri looked to Flynn on the other side of him on the bed. Did it have something to do with Yuri's... pseudo position in the knights? Really, he could never see himself being a knight again, even under Ioder and Flynn's leadership. Not a proper, official knight, at least. But the new emperor liked him, and by now most anyone of importance, even including the castle guards, knew of Yuri's relationship with Flynn.

Eventually such things had to be known to others like them, if only to avoid a ruckus in the castle. After all, Yuri was clearly not dressed for a castle nine times out of ten (the one in ten being when he was made to wear his personalized knight outfit for official "guild" work for the emperor), and some people still recognized him as the troublemaker he used to be. If he was going to visit Flynn or be in a relationship with him, it meant not just jumping in through windows all the time, or sneaking his way in. He needed to actually use the front castle door now (though that wouldn't stop him from once in a great while using a window). Needed to actually act, well, civilized.

It wasn't just to avoid a headache or aggravation. Things weren't the same as before, when Flynn was just another knight. If they were going to be together like this, any nonsense of Yuri's would reflect directly on Flynn. If people knew Flynn was planning to spend the rest of his life with someone who kept causing trouble and creating inconveniences, it would affect people's trust in him even as commandant. Nowadays, anything Yuri did in that regard and any public scenes he made would make Flynn look bad.

Maybe if he really thought about it, and in the way Flynn did, he might actually think better of himself if he looked at himself from someone else's perspective. At the same time, he knew too much about himself that felt conflicting with those things. But as usual, he deflected, a light joke and a small smile. "What, in bed? High compliment for the guy who lays there for half of it. Guess you'll have that to look forward to for the rest of your life."

He turned fully onto his side to look at Flynn, cheek burrowing into the pillow. When he spoke again, his voice was low and calm. "Honestly, I guess because my life's been such a mess for so long now that I... don't see it. I'm trying to, 'cause you seem kinda adamant about things like that... but it's a work in progress, I guess." But actually letting himself see himself from another person's perspective... was too much for now. He had a lot to work out before he got that far.

He was grateful Rita had come up with a new method for lighting. He didn't really understand how it worked, but the basics were enough for him that it was a bulb of light, and that there were different levels of lighting depending on the bulb, with some improvements and modifications on the way. She had given it to people she knew first to test it out, and with the loss of blastia, they didn't have proper lighting at night anymore for a little while. Rita was quick to work on a solution, and Yuri was grateful for that at night now. This one was apparently intentionally dim, meant to be used at night like this. He wouldn't admit it - at least not yet - but he appreciated being able to see Flynn's face at night.

"Well, I guess it's not fair for me to brag about you and not let you say good things about me, huh. So... I'll try not to make a fuss about those things." Plus, it wouldn't be fair for him to shoot down Flynn's words and thoughts. He'd done things like that before, but... the kind of relationship they were in now meant a different type of commitment to each other, and a different type of balance. If Flynn told him he loved him and Yuri insisted the things he loved him for weren't true, that was a lot more than unfair.

Not that he was ready to admit how much he'd really been thinking about things lately. Growth as a person shouldn't have been embarrassing, but... maybe more than that, he was simply embarrassed about the idea of being perceived differently as he changed. As if in direct response to that fact, Yuri's voice shifted into its childlike demeanor, a small bit of pout worming its way in. "So... yeah. So I mean... I don't know how incredible I am I guess, but... I'll think about it. But after sleep. No deep thoughts until after I sleep."