#& yeah... he already had heart issues that lead to the stroke that ultimately did him in

[gorillaxyz]

it makrs me laugh uncomfortably whenever i think abt how joe biden is the same age as nixon when he died

[sotheywrotestories]

Eleven at Night |peter parker|

Request: none

Pairings: Peter Parker x Reader

Summary: Peter’s out with a friend when a girl shows up at Avengers tower looking for him. (Everyone’s alive AU)

Warnings: Mentions of violence, crying, a little bit of angst, some really cute fluff

Word Count: 1733

                                                           ***

It was eleven at night and Tony had to answer the damn door. The tower was open to the community 24/7, but the top fifteen floors were always closed to very limited personal. These floors were the living quarters of the Avengers team. How someone had managed to wiggle their way onto the main floor of their home slightly pissed him off.

There was a very specific passphrase needed to even get the elevator to go up to these levels, Tony was just hoping it was actually someone important, not someone crazy who just figured it out.

He did not expect to open the door to a teary-eyed, teenage girl. Her hair was a mess and she was clad in a very oversized hoodie that looked suspiciously like one of his interns.

“Hello?” he said, looking the girl up and down.

“Hi,” she said, her voice raspy from disuse.

“Can I…help you?” Tony nearly laughed.

“Um, is Peter here?” she asked, peering over Tony’s shoulder. “He told me to come here if I ever had an…issue.”

“Wanna tell me who you are first?” Tony lightly grabbed the girls arm, pulling her into the main living room. “How do you know Peter?”

She sat on the couch, playing with the sleeves of her sweatshirt.

“I’m his girlfriend,” she slightly smiled. “Sorry, uh, I’m (Y/N).”

“Never heard of you.” Tony crossed his arms. “Why are you here?”

“Well,” the girl started, her eyes downcast.

“Who’s this?” Wanda walked into the room, upset that she had to be up so late due to the people talking in the living room.

“This is (Y/N). Peter’s girlfriend, evidently,” Tony said.

“Sorry to wake you guys up, I just-“ now she was close to tears. It didn’t help that Natasha had walked in and cut the poor girl off.

“Who are you and why are you here so late,” Natasha growled.

“Nat,” Wanda shushed. “Give the girl a minute to speak.”

“Sorry,” (Y/N) cried. “It’s just, I was going to Peter’s apartment tonight but some random guy started talking to me, asking me where Spider-Man was but I know I’m not supposed to let anyone know that I know that Peter’s Spider-Man, so I told him to leave me alone but then he kept asking and asking and asking, but I was so close to his apartment and I made a run for it but he grabbed my arm and pulled me into an alley so I screamed and stomped on his foot and ran but then-“

“Calm down,” Wanda placed a hand on (Y/N)’s shoulder. “It’s okay, you’re safe here. Take a deep breath, slow down, tell us what happened.”

“Okay,” (Y/N) took a deep breath, time enough for Tony and Natasha to grab seats close to the young girl. “He followed me to Peter’s apartment, thankfully May was home, but Peter wasn’t. So I came here. Peter told me to come here in case of an emergency.”

“Okay,” Natasha said calmly. “Do you remember what he looked like?”
 “No, please don’t ask me anything else, I just want to see Peter.”

The three shared a look, not sure where Peter was, thinking he had been home the whole night.

“I’ll call him,” Tony whispered, leaving the other three alone.

Natasha moved to Tony’s seat, keeping a firm hand on (Y/N)’s back to keep her grounded.

Wanda had taken a slight peek into (Y/N)’s head (she knew she didn’t have the poor girls consent but she also wanted to make sure she hadn’t left anything out of her story). The end decision was to lead (Y/N) to Peter’s room at the tower to calm her down for a little while.

“Here,” Wanda helped (Y/N) up. “Let’s get you into a bed, okay? Why were you going to Peter’s so late at night?”

“I was out late at the library and I didn’t want to walk all the way home,” (Y/N) sniffled. “So I thought I would go to Peter’s.”

Natasha and Wanda shared another look behind the poor girls back, not too sure how to go about the situation.

They set her down on Peter’s bed, letting her keep the very oversized sweatshirt on. It would have been more practical to keep her on the couch, where they could keep an eye on her, but the ultimate decision was to keep her where she felt more comfortable.

“Where’s Peter?” she called out, wrapping herself in his heavy duvet, intoxicated by his smell.

“Tony’s getting him,” Wanda stroked the young girl's hair, sitting on the edge of the bed. “Why don’t you lie down.”

(Y/N) began to frantically shake her head.

“Can I just wait? For Peter?” she asked, not wanting to fall asleep just yet. “I just want Peter.”

“He’s on his way,” Tony entered the room. “He was at Ned’s house.”

Natasha nodded to Wanda. “I’m going to sleep. Let me know if you need anything.”

Tony stepped out of the way, letting Natasha get by. Once her footsteps had fallen out of earshot, Tony sat on the other side of (Y/N).

“Hey, kid. I know you don’t want to talk right now, but I need to know how close you and Peter are,” Tony said.

She shrugged, knowing Tony meant well but also knowing she was not in a healthy mental state to talk to him yet.

“We’ve been dating for about ten months…I found out about Spider-Man, and I know I shouldn’t know and that you’ll be mad at Peter for letting it slip,” (Y/N) hiccuped. “But please don’t be. He’s a good guy, he means well.”

“I’m not mad,” Tony reassured the girl, sending a sad look to Wanda. “No, I get it. He’s just never talked-“

“He wanted to keep work and social separate. But he told me to come here if anything ever happened. He said he knew I knew Spider-Man.” (Y/N)’s eyes met Tony’s, the look in her eyes haunting his mind. “That can’t be good.”

And it wasn’t. But Wanda and Tony knew better than to further spook someone who was already in shock.

“(Y/N)?” Peter’s voice came from down the hall, effectively reawakening Natasha, as well as stirring Loki.

Peter slid into his own room, his socked feet easily slipping on the hardwood floor.

“Hey,” he said, spotting the disheveled girl on his bed, completely disregarding Tony and Wanda. “Hey-don’t get up.”

Peter rushed to the bed, crawling straight to (Y/N) and pulling her into his lap. His left hand immediately tangled itself in her hair, his right hand keeping a firm grip on her hip, tugging her as close to him as he could.

“Everything okay?” Peter asked, finally looking at Tony.

His first concern would always be (Y/N). She wasn’t someone to look for help. She never reached out to people, she hated looking vulnerable. When he got a call so late at night that she had shown up at the tower, he panicked.

“Some guy knows I know you,” (Y/N) said, her voice slightly muffled against Peter’s shoulder. “He tried to take me to a secondary location.”

Peter cracked a little laugh at her short attempt at humor.

“I’m glad you didn’t go with him. Your chances of coming back would have been very low,” Peter teased, laying his head on top of hers.

Tony and Wanda looked shocked at Peter’s bluntness with (Y/N), but relaxed when she giggled.

“I think I made a mistake, though,” she said, quieter this time. “I think he managed to follow me to your building.”

“Well, I’m glad you got to safety, even if that means exposing my super-secret hideout,” Peter teased a bit more. “Mr. Stark, it’s okay if May and (Y/N) stay here for a little while, right?”

No one could quite recall the number of times Tony had offered to house the Parkers, to say he was ready was an understatement.

“Of course they can. (Y/N), do you want your family to move in as well?” Tony asked, not wanting to split (Y/N) from her family.

Peter tightened his hold on (Y/N), shooting something of a disappointed look at Tony.

“I’ve actually been staying with May lately…I don’t think my family is an issue,” (Y/N) said.

Wanda’s eyebrows furrowed, her mind going a mile a minute. She knew it wasn’t her business to worry about why she wasn’t staying with her parents, why she was taking a residency with the Parkers, but being the kind heart the was, she worried.

“Great,” Tony placed a hand on (Y/N)’s shoulder. “We’ll set up your room, get May’s room back to how it was, just changing the sheets again, and then we can start on (Y/N)’s room. You okay staying here tonight?”

“Yeah, that’s great,” Peter said for (Y/N). “Thanks, Mr. Stark.”

“Anytime, kid. Tell FRIDAY to call me if you need anything.”

“(Y/N)?” Wanda reached out to the girl again. “Do you need anything? Water or anything before I go to bed?”

(Y/N) shook her head and Peter smiled softly at Wanda.

“I think I’ve got it from here,” Peter whispered. “Thanks, Miss Maximoff.”

Peter’s fingers found themselves trying to card themselves through her hair.

“Ow,” (Y/N) whined.

“Sorry,” Peter smiled. “Just wanted to try.”

(Y/N) smiled up at him for a split second.

“Let’s lie down, pretty girl,” Peter whispered, keeping her close to his chest as he reclined into the soft pillows only Tony Stark could afford.

“I didn’t like him,” (Y/N) said, her nose rubbing against the soft skin of Peter’s neck.

“I know, love,” Peter sighed, pulling the heavy duvet over her shoulders and tucking the end underwear chin. “But everyone’s gonna stay here and we’ll be fine. Oh, we’ll have so much fun! I can show you around the Tower, ‘cause there’s so much to do here. Plus, we can just come straight here after school! And on Fridays, Mister Stark lets Ned and MJ come over, so we can have slumber parties! And May loves you so much, she’s going to love living here. Even if it’s just for a little while. How long do you think we’ll have to stay here?”

Peter was answered with silence, looking down to see (Y/N) snoring away in the crook of his neck. He smiled, pushing away the hairs at the crown of her head and placing a delicate kiss on her forehead.

“Love you, darling.”

Tag list: @thatcluelessone @ima-fucking-nerd​​  @embrace-themagic @fireboltrose5737@whatdafricklefrackle@peeterparkr @sherlokiantheatrenerd @legit-fandom-trash​ @abitchformarvel​​​ @dark-night-sky-99​​ @dreams-of-feysand

[vmheadquarters]

Twelve years ago today, UPN (RIP!) premiered a cult-classic neo-noir about murder, class warfare, sexual assault, and forbidden love. It was quippy and campy and smart as hell—and it just happened to center on a pint-sized blonde who looked like a cheerleader but thought like Sherlock Holmes. The show was Veronica Mars, and even if the last decade has muddled its legacy with a much-hyped but ultimately disappointing fan-funded follow-up film and, of course, the extremely meh third season, the high school years remain an unparalleled success. Veronica Mars seasons one and two were better than anything that had come before, far surpassed its competition in quality, and set a high bar for future shows that has only barely been met by a few episodes of television here and there. So give my regards to Friday Night Lights (a family show, not a teen show) and Degrassi (please), but Veronica Mars is the best teen show of all time*. 

1. Nuanced Class Conflict

Gossip Girl and The OC did it well, but Veronica Mars did it better. Even though Neptune, CA, is technically fictional, it's as real a place as has ever been portrayed on television. Its particular problems and reputation informed everything from law enforcement (the question of whether or not to incorporate the town into a city and make the sheriff's office into a police department) to the biker gangs riding through on their way up and down the PCH. The levels of privilege/lack thereof were so nuanced and specific. Other shows divide people into the Haves and the Have Nots; on Veronica Mars, everyone has something a little different. At the bottom of the socioeconomic ladder is Weevil, whose background is not only impoverished but criminal; the only community he can "afford" is a gang (though his crew isn't all bad—you'll find nary a broad stroke or generalization in the world of Veronica Mars). In the center of things are Veronica and Keith, who lived comfortably when Keith was sheriff, but have buckled their belts since he became a private eye. On the one hand, they own a small business! On the other, they live in a pretty crap apartment complex and have nowhere near enough saved to send Veronica to college. Then there's the nouveau-riche Echolls', who have all the glamorous trappings of wealth (cars, booze, mansion) and pretty much none of the cultural capital. At the top of the heap are the Kanes; while the Echolls' have enough money to "get away" with murder, the Kanes have enough money to get away with it, cover it up, frame someone else for it, and get the sheriff fired for looking into it. Money problems are basically the least-juicy of TV plots, but by using wealth disparity as a way to develop the characters, essentially building it into the DNA of the show, Veronica Mars created a TV universe just as interesting and complicated as that of Friday Night Lights or Parks and Recreation.

2. Lianne Mars

A girl with a missing mom is a fairy tale trope as old as time, rooted in a deification-of-the-female version of misogyny that I don't have time to get into right now. Suffice it to say, a dead or absentee mother is usually a sign of lazy writing. It's a way to reduce the character count and set a heroine adrift while, not coincidentally, making it so the (usually male) writer doesn't have to think of what a grown woman would think or talk or act like. At first, this is the fate of Veronica's mother, Lianne Mars. She was just conveniently...gone, another casualty of the fallout from the Lilly Kane murder investigation. Her absence lets Veronica be angsty and ill-supervised even as Keith Mars entered the canon of Bestest TV Dads of All Time (which he is! Love Keith forever and ever). But then she came back, with baggage, and the trope was, if not redeemed, at least put to good use. Lianne is an alcoholic who couldn't deal with the disappointing turns life took, and she finally cracked when her husband ran directly into conflict with her lost love Jake Kane, for whom she still pined. Even when she decides she wants to be a mom again, she can't quit being an alcoholic. And as heartbreaking as it is to watch Veronica play the parent, it's also a moment of growth. Veronica realizes—or rather, decides—that she isn't doomed to repeat her mother's mistakes. She is a stronger, better person than Lianne. A person big enough to love her flawed mother, even strong enough to forgive her. In the third episode, Veronica says, "The hero is the one that stays, and the villain is the one that splits." By the end of the series, Veronica has learned what true villainy looks like, and it ain't her mom. Showrunners, take note: This is how you do a realistic redemption story.

3. The Guest Stars and Bit Players

The casting department at Veronica Mars did flawless work. Obviously, the core cast is great, but the semi-regulars and guests are also amazing. There's an entire season devoted to Steve fucking Guttenberg. Lisa Rinna and Harry Hamlin play the negaverse versions of themselves. Ryan Hansen and Ken Marino do their Ryan Hansen/Ken Marino Shtick, and why shouldn't they? Max Greenfield (a.k.a. Schmidt on New Girl) and Tessa Thompson (from Dear White People and Creed) both had recurring roles long before they were famous, and even Tina Majorino (Mac) and Michael Muhney (Lamb), who didn't really "break out" in a major way after the show, are perfect in their roles. The second (SECOND) IMDb credit for one Jessica Chastain is an episode of Veronica Mars, and of course, Leighton Meester appears in two episodes. Yes, there are other teen shows that feature young actors who went on to bigger, better things, but I maintain that Veronica Mars is notable for encouraging real actors to do real work.

4. The Mysteries Were Smart AF

The show trusted its audience to keep up and pay attention. Maybe even a little too much. In the era before binge-watching and old episodes being able on demand, Veronica Mars suffered from the same issue that plagues the first few seasons of The X Files: Viewers who weren't "caught up" on the season-long mystery arc found it difficult to get into. VM had low ratings throughout its run, and when it used the shift from high school to college to introduce shorter, quicker mysteries, well, we all know how season three went. But looking back, it's clear that the show was ahead of its time, telling smart, twist-y weekly stories while teasing out a longer mystery that deeply impacted the main characters' lives. (Can't you just imagine how they'd advertise the show now? Moody teaser trailers with the tag line "Who Killed Lilly Kane?" and fansites and podcasts devoted to all the clues and hints and easter eggs from every episode?) There are other teen mystery/crime-fighter shows, sure, but they tend to put their characters in immediate peril, which makes the audience ask, "What's going to happen?" Instead, Veronica Mars is an intellectual exercise, evidence and theory based, and the question becomes, "What has already happened, and what does it mean?" That's the kind of meaty writing that inspires, if not legions of fans, a loyal audience to sing its praises. Veronica Mars was so smart it was niche. I'm not making a case for VM as overlooked prestige television, but then again I totally am. WHY didn't it win any Emmys?

5. They Didn't Explain Every Little Thing

See: above "trusting the audience smartness" factor. They didn't explain why sleeping with a "consenting" teenager is still wrong, or why Logan and Veronica went from adversaries to lovers in the space of like, a week, or why money equals power. They got that the audience got it. So, the exact opposite of a show like, say, Secret Life of the American Teenager. There were episodes that touched on privilege and entitlement and infidelity and the abuse of power by law enforcement, but it was subtle and real instead of, you know...Degrassi.

6. The Humor

It wasn't dark and humorous, it was darkly humorous and humorously dark. (Think combining the creepy weirdness of Twin Peaks with the banter of Moonlighting.) Logan's poignant answering machine messages, Veronica's epic takedowns, even Lamb got to be withering and snarky while he systematically fucked over the whole town.The humor kept us invested even when stories dipped into sentimental, Dawson's Creek-esque territory and deflected the romance-y moments that might have turned it into a mystery-style Felicity. Veronica's and Logan's jokes, in particular, also serve a psychological purpose: mask their pain at any cost. Unlike in Gilmore Girls, where every character speaks like a hyper-intelligent stand-up comic and not at all like a teenager or real human being, Veronica and the residents of Neptune make comments that feel true to their characters and relevant to their circumstances. If you watched any episode of Scream Queens and thought, "I guess they're trying to imitate...Scream? Heathers? Clueless? With the smart/bitchy blondes and the snappy comebacks and the eye rolls?" I understand. But actually, they were trying (and failing. Hard.) to do Veronica Mars. Smart sassy cute mean heart of gold flirty clever repartee? Yeah, that's Veronica Mars, and Ryan Murphy, bless his soul, is not Rob Thomas.

7. The Rape Plot(s)

From the very first episode when, in a flashback, golden-haired, white dress-clad Veronica walks, almost in a stupor (have you ever seen a more "perfect" victim?) into the sheriff's office to tell Lamb that she was raped—because she is a good girl and good girls go to the authorities—only to have him, basically, shrug it off, rape and sexual assault were core themes of the show, central to its purpose and story engine. Creator Rob Thomas initially envisioned the story as a YA novel with a male protagonist, and changing the lead's gender to female is arguably the best and most important decision he ever made. Veronica's sexuality is everything. How she flirts her way out of scrapes, plays innocent when it can help her, distrusts it when she's attracted to the "wrong" person, is allowed to enjoy it with Logan and, of course, how her virginity was taken from her one night she can't quite remember. The show takes Veronica's rape seriously as not just a plot point or easy motivation, but as a defining part of her character. She cleans obsessively and looks over her shoulder. She's sensitive to the potential aggressors—and victims—at her school. She knows that her rapist was someone she knew, and she has to live with that mystery every day. But it's complicated. That night she can't remember might have been semi-consensual, but then we learn, no it wasn't. Yes, there's a story about a false rape accusation (against Adam Scott!), but the truth only makes the situation murkier. And in an unfortunately rare move, Veronica Mars also depicts the aftermath of the sexual abuse of boys, including an exploration of how the stigma against male assault survivors re-traumatizes them. (The third season is, in my opinion, a missed opportunity to tackle the campus rape epidemic. By blaming the rapes on a psychological experiment gone awry, the show unfortunately ignores the fact that toxic masculinity isn't a role-playing aberration but a pervasive national issue. But its heart is in the right place, if not its logic.)

8. Veronica

Choker-wearing, dog-owning, private-detectiving blonde badass Veronica Mars. She's most often compared to Buffy, that other crime-fighting cutie with a ragtag army of friends and a ne'er do well love interest, and the comparison is apt. Both possess skills their peers do not and use those skills to solve problems both thrust upon them and sought. But the difference is that in the space that Buffy uses to explore the supernatural, Veronica Mars plays with loyalty and ethics. Is it wrong to snitch on your friends? Is a rumor evidence? Can you break the law to serve a higher good? These are issues Buffy doesn't wrestle with; it's pretty much a given that evil vampires are worth defeating (yes, there are definitely instances when Buffy is tested because she's fallen for a vamp or one of her friends is possessed or whatever, but that's not like, the thing of the show). And while so many other "outsider/observer/new kid" teen show protagonists (Ryan, Dan, Dawson, Lindsay Weir) long to get "in," Veronica's been there. She's been popular, and (a little) wealthy. She's not exploring a new world, she's re-learning her old one. In that she has more in common with Angela Chase, but way less whiny. You watch My So-Called Life and think, I'm totally Angela. You watch VMand think, I wish I were Veronica. When people talk about the strong but vulnerable but smart but flawed but cool but real but beautiful but relatable but empowered but conflicted but modern but iconic but a good role model but not unattainable with a job not defined by that job "interesting" female characters on television, a few names tend to come up again and again: Carrie, Murphy, Ally, Roseanne, Olivia, Dana. To that (very white!) pantheon I humbly submit: Veronica.

*....except for Freaks and Geeks.

[sarahjane0886]

Fix a Heart 20

Chapter 20 - Wrap Your Arms Around Me

We're all fragile underneath This coat of armour isn't thick or deep When we break it's hard to hide The way we hurt inside When I come undone at the seams My heart is on the floor for all to see Do that thing that I need Wrap your arms around me

"Babe, I'm going to cancel my meeting today." Val said as he looked down at his wife who was tucked into his lap.

"No, you can't. This was the important one for the next part of your clothing line and incorporating the new aspects. I'll be fine." Sharna protested weakly. For the past 3 days, Sharna had been fighting some type of stomach bug. Initially it was just an upset stomach but then had transpired to numerous trips to the bathroom as well as intense nausea. When she wasn't getting sick, she was trying to stop the nausea and attempting to sleep. Since she had been fighting it for so many days, she really wasn't eating either because she couldn't keep anything down.

"You've been sick for 3 days now. You've barely gotten out of this bed the past 2 and when you have, it's only been to be sick or if I carried you to the couch."

"I'll be fine. I'll sleep the whole time."

"Sharna."

"Valentin. You have to go, it took forever to get this set up. If you skip it for me, I'll feel worse."

"Fine, but you're going to keep your phone with you at all times."

"Babe, I don't go anywhere." She said almost laughing. She literally had been confined to the bed or couch because she was so weak.

"Still, just promise me. I'm worried about you." He said as his fingers stroked through her hair.

"It's just a stomach bug babe. It's going to pass. But I promise. Now you need to go get ready."

"I have a little bit, why don't you try to sleep before I leave?" She had been sleeping better when she was near him. They weren't sure if it was his calm energy or just that fact that he was with her that was helping.

"Because I don't want to vomit at the moment so I'm kind of enjoying the temporary pause in this."

"Oh, do you want to try to eat something?" Val said hopefully.

"Uhh, let's not push it. Maybe when you're back home later."

"Fair enough. You want me to bring you anything home?" He said as he slid down and tucked her into his chest.

"Ice poles? And goldfish." She said almost immediately making him smile.

"I can handle that."

"Thank you." She whispered as she cuddled into his body. She was content to just lay there with him while she enjoyed the few moments that she was not feeling like she needed to vomit.

"So, I have a question."

"Yes?"

"How would you feel about possibly designing a few pieces for the line?"

"Whoa, wait, are you serious?" Sharna said moving quickly so that she could look at him.

"Very. You have great taste. You've always like this sort of thing and I think it would be a great thing to get into together. And if you like it, we can keep doing it. I wanted to ask you before the meeting today because I want to present the thought to everyone today. But if you don't want to, I totally understand. I just know with everything going on, we haven't been doing a whole lot of work type things and while you absolutely do not have to. I thought this would give your mind a little something else to focus on besides everything else. And I don't know the creative side of it is always fun and immersing."

"I would absolutely love to try. I don't know if I'll be any good but that would be amazingly fun." She said and Val saw a glow in her eyes that he hadn't seen for quite some time.

"Well personally I think you'll be great at it but so I'll bring it up today and see if we can include you in this release or if they need us to design and wait til the winter drop." Val said. His clothing line had expanded since DWTS ended last fall. They went from putting new items out twice a year to quarterly. It required more work on his end however it was one of his passions so he didn't mind. Sharna was trying to figure out what she wanted to do with her life now that she wasn't on the show either. They had talked about this numerous times and decided that with therapy and healing, Sharna was going to take the year off however she was starting to get antsy with being home. She had thought about teaching at one of the studios particularly with the teenage kids but she wasn't sure if that was what she ultimately wanted to do.

"Yeah, I definitely need to find some things to do. I know we decided for me to take the year off but I'm getting to the point where I'm getting stir crazy. Especially on days like today when I know you're out and working on stuff."

"Makes sense. We can talk more about stuff you think you want to try when you're feeling better."

"Sounds good. I may look into starting to do my blog again. I think I could maybe talk about things a little bit. I think......." She trailed off before pressing into him.

"That could be very helpful. Dr. Kate did say that writing everything out and helping others may be something that helps you a lot. So you could look into, and if you try it and feel like it's too much, then you just do more light stuff."

"Right." She said with a yawn.

"I have to get ready soon princess. Now why don't you try to sleep?" He suggested feeling the exhaustion starting to set in. Being sick always sucked tenfold especially when you started to feel better and the weakness was still an issue. He had a feeling that was where she was going to be at, hopefully at least.

"Will you rub my back?" She asked softly.

"Sure, close your eyes. I love you. I'll text you." He said as she got situated against him. His hand coasted up and down her back.

"I love you too." She murmured, already half out. He laid with her a little while longer before heading to go get ready. He checked on her one last time before heading to his meeting. He still felt guilty about leaving her but he did realize she was right about how hard this meeting had to be to get organized. No matter what someone had always been unavailable so when this time had come up, Val jumped on the chance.

***********************************************************************************************************************

Two hours later, Sharna woke up and was happily surprised that although she still felt a bit nauseous it was nowhere near what it had been the past couple of days. She decided she wanted a shower. She hadn't had one since she had gotten sick, namely because she wasn't feeling well enough to do it. She contemplated waiting for Val but she kind of wanted to just enjoy the evening with him. Minus the sick. She figured as long as she went slow, she would be fine. She headed over to the bathroom and suddenly decided that a bath would be even better and easier.

"Peta got me those bath bombs last month...." She said as she rummaged around in the drawers attempting to find the bombs. She gave up on the drawers and went to the closet to see if they were there. She grabbed her towel but knocked over a box of tampons when a sudden realization hit her.

"Fuck." She muttered as she looked at the box. She had bought the box 2 months ago and it was still pretty full. She went to check her calendar and realized that she had not had her period for the whole 2 months. She grabbed her phone and called Peta immediately.

"Hey babe, how are you...."

"Can you come over? Umm and possibly leave Shai with Maks?"

"Are you okay?"

"Can you just come?" Sharna repeated.

"5 minutes. Breath babe, I'll be right there." Peta said hanging up. Sharna began to pace as a million emotions went through her head. Fear, nerves, panic, anxiety. Anything you could think of.

"I'm here...what's wrong. Where's Val?" Peta said appearing scaring the hell out of Sharna at the same time.

"I....he's at the clothing line meeting...but I'm late....way late." She said continuing to pace.

"Babe, you're not going anywhere, you've basically been dying these last few days. There is no where you need to be." Peta said reaching out and catching her wrist, stopping her movements.

"Not that late, this late." Sharna said as she pulled away from Peta and grabbed the box of tampons.

"Oh...oh....Shar." Peta said as it clicked.

"Right...I don't..P..." Sharna trailed off.

"How late are you? You've been going through everything with the therapy and everything else, maybe all that stress is working you up. It does that you know? Unless you want to be..."

"I don't know. We just talked about it when he took me to the lighthouse. But we didn't. Not yet. I don't know. But I don't know either way." Sharna said sputtering.

"Okay, okay, deep breaths. Do you want to take a test?"

"I mean, I guess, that's my only option as far as knowing right? Other than the doctors." Sharna said shuddering.

"Pretty much. I can go get you one." Peta said figuring that Sharna didn't have any.

"I can give..."

"I got it. Come here, we've got this. No matter what it's going to be okay, alright? I know it's not the same, but when I found out about Shai, I was terrified. I was in the middle of the season and so not ready. But Maks kept telling me, if it was meant to be, then it would be. And it's going to be for you. You deserve it. It's going to happen but whether it's now or in the future or however it happens. It will work out."

"What if he..." Sharna said as her eyes filled with tears.

"He does. Just breathe. I'm going to run down to the drug store on the corner. I'll be back in less than 10 minutes okay?"

"Yes."

"You'll be okay? I'd take you with me but I don't think you need to be out of the house."

"I guess not."

"What were you going to do before you realized?"

"Shower."

"I don't think you need to do that. Why don't you go sit on the couch? And just take a moment."

"Okay." Sharna said and let Peta lead her out to the couch. She got her settled and headed out. She couldn't decide if she should text Val or not. After debating for a few moments, she decided that she'd see how much longer he was going to be and then go from there.

'Hey, how much longer til you're home?' She texted him.

'I'm actually heading out now. I'll be home in 20. Shar asked me to stop at the store for a few things. What's up?'

'Not much, I was going to check on Shar and just figured I'd ask.'

'Yeah, you can let her know I'll be there soon if you want.'

'I will, see you in a bit.' Peta shoved her phone in her pocket. She prayed she beat him. And that she could warn Sharna so she knew he was coming. She was going to have to tell him, but she wanted her to have a heads up. She booked it to the drugstore and then back to the house.

"Babe." Peta said softly sitting down next to her best friend, startling her in the process.

"Sorry." Sharna said immediately.

"It's okay. I got you 3, but umm, Val is on his way home so maybe this is something you want to wait and do with him?" Peta said gently.

"Did you?" Sharna asked immediately.

"No, I wouldn't do that. I wanted to see when he was coming so he didn't bust in during. I figured giving you a heads up was the better option of the two."

"You're right, it is. I guess I should wait for him because he's going to appear soon. I'm sorry I dragged you into this."

"Babe, no. Don't be sorry, I'm glad you called and I'm glad I was able to help or well get this for you. I don't know how much I really helped. And I'll stay here if you want me too even if you want to wait for him. Or you can call me later."

"No you helped, I promise. I appreciate it. If it's okay, I should probably do this with just Val, but I'll call you later?"

"That's more than okay. I'll wait til he's here though alright?" Sharna nodded and just kind of sunk into her best friend's side. They sat there in silence until they heard the garage door open and close.

"I'm going to go. I'll let him know you're in here. Call me. I love you. And remember no matter what, it will be okay. We'll figure it out." Peta said as she hugged her tightly.

"I love you too. And I'll call you. Thank you." Sharna said as she grasped Peta's body. She let her go and Peta headed to the kitchen.

We do our best to smile Fight the tears trying to creep from our eyes When a smile just won't disguise We just crumble inside So when I come undone at the seams My heart is on the floor for all to see Do that thing that I need Wrap your arms around me

"Hey, how are you?" Val said as he saw his sister in law.

"I'm good. Shar's in the living room. She um...yeah, just go see her." Peta said realizing that she probably just made him want to vomit.

"P..."

"She's okay. Just go see her."  Peta said giving him a hug and heading for the door.

"Princess. Are you...oh." Val said as he walked into the living room and found Sharna on the couch. She was holding the pregnancy test box in her hands in a death grip.

"Peta got it for me."

"Do you think?" He said sitting down next to her.

"I, umm, I'm 2 months late. But it could be stress but it could not."

"What do you want it to say?" Val said as he rested his hand on hers.

"I honestly don't know. I know I told you I want this with you and I want us to have this but I'm terrified. To the point that I kind of want it to not say that. But then I'm afraid that if it doesn't say that, then I'm going to feel like I'm being punished. And I also feel like if it is positive, I'm afraid of it happening again. Like what if I can't have children. Like physically can't. I've always just blamed it on everything going on then but then I think, what if I'm just not able to do it. It happens Val. And I don't think I could go through that again. Like losing and just...even with you and knowing I have support. I don't know that I could handle it."

"Okay, so we have options. But let's come up with a plan. Either way, no matter what it says, I think we or you, I mean I'll come with you, need to make an appointment with the doctor. Obviously if the test comes out positive, we need to get you there to see where you are with things and then what we need to do next. If not, we need to see, like you said, what the cause of the previous one was. If it's possible and what we're up against. How does that sound?"

"I agree. I think knowing either way will be better. I'm terrified of not being able to do it because I, well you know."

"I know, but at least we'll know then. And we can explore options if that's the case. I know what everyone ultimately wants but if necessary we'll do what we need to."

"Like?"

"Adoption, Fertility treatments, whatever you want to do princess."

"But should we tempt fate?"

"What do you mean?"

"If the world or god or whomever has decided that I can't have kids, should we really push it?"

"I don't think that's pushing it. God also created the babies and children who need adopted, he created the people who do fertility treatments, and he created the people who found these alternatives. He only gives us what we can handle."

"I'm at my wits end Val." She said with a whisper as she finally looked at him.

"I know baby, I know. Just, I got you okay?"

"Mmhmm." She nodded.

"Now do you want to do this?" He said gesturing towards the box in her hands.

"Guess the sooner we know, the sooner we can decide what happens next." She said shakily.

"Right." He said standing up and holding his hand out to her. She took it and let him help her stand. He started to lead them to the bedroom however she didn't move making him jerk at her halt. He turned around and looked at her to see what had happened. She held her free hand out to him and moved into his body squeezing him tightly. He released her hand and wrapped his arms around her as well. He pressed his lips to her head as he swayed them. She eventually loosened her grip and tipped her head up to his before kissing him. Once she pulled away, they rejoined hands and he led her to the bedroom.

"I'll be back." She said softly as she headed into the bathroom. She returned a few minutes later and Val pulled her into his lap.

"How long?"

"10 minutes."

"Okay, how's your stomach?" He said as he set the timer on his phone and twisted her in his lap so she was sideways.

"Umm, it was better. Not so much at the moment but I think it's more nerves and anxiety than me still being sick honestly."

"Makes sense. We'll after this we can resume relax time and maybe get you back to feeling better."

"Why do I feel like this is going to make me worse?" She said as her arm rested on his shoulders.

"It may, for a little bit or a while but we can talk and see what you need. And we'll figure it out." He said as traced random circles on her hip.

"I think I need a lot of this."

"You're lucky because I have a lot of this in store." He said quietly. She nodded in response before falling silent. They sat there until the ringer on Val's phone went off making them both jump. "Do you want me to come with you?"

"Please?" She said standing up. He nodded and stood up with her. She went first and moved over to the counter where the strips lay.

"I don't know what we're looking for." Val whispered.

"It's negative." She said pointing to the key on the instructions. He looked and realized she was right. All 3 were clearly negative.

"Babe." He said resting his hands on her shoulders, hearing the clear disappointment in her voice.

"I'm going to go lay down." She said softly pulling away from him. She threw the sticks away and washed her hands before moving to the bed. She curled up on her pillow and pulled her knees up into her chest.

Val stood watching her, honestly not knowing what to do. He didn't want to invade her space but he also wanted her to know he was there. He opted to stay in the doorway for a bit before he'd decide what to do. Sharna on the other hand could nearly feel a panic attack coming. She was attempting to focus on her breathing and something in the room however the thousand thoughts running through her mind weren't helping. She felt relieved yet devastated at the same time and she couldn't determine which one was the better feeling. She felt tears begin to fall and she nearly groaned.

"Hey, come here." Val said appearing next to her on the bed. He laid down next to her and pulled her into his body. She buried into his chest as her sobs started. He just held her tightly and whispered to her until she started to calm down.

"I don't even know why I'm crying." She said once she had started to settle.

"I'm sure it's everything. You weren't sure what you wanted and to be honest I think you kind of wanted both."

"But I can't want both. It was too totally different thing?" She said sniffling.

"Oh but I think you can sweetheart. You have two things that are options both which have very scary options regardless of the outcome. So you can definitely want both. I think you would have reacted this way no matter the result because you would have been terrified had the results been positive."

"I would have." She said realizing he was right on that note.

"So now we know what's next, we make a doctor's appointment and see where we stand with everything. If you want that is. And we have Dr. Kate this week too. We can talk to her about everything as well."

"What if....." She trailed off as her body shook and she nearly pulled away from him at the thought.

"What if what princess?" He normally didn't dwell on what ifs. They had a tendency to completely tear a person apart especially because what ifs were usually your worst fears coming out. And they usually were worst case, craziest possibility. This one however left a nagging feeling that it was all of the above but so much more.

"What if I let you down?" She whispered.

"Sharna May Chmerkovskiy." Val said quickly.

"You want children Val. You're amazing with Shai. You deserve that." She protested.

"So do you, so are you. Shai loves you more than his parents sometimes. But princess, let me just tell you. There is nothing, absolutely nothing you could do that would let me down. Ever."

"But..."

"No, no buts Sharna. Nothing. I know you fight it, still sometimes, but the amount of love, devotion, and gratitude I have for you is indescribable. Yes, I won't lie, I would love a family with you but if it's not in our cards, it's not in our cards. Like we said we'll look into other options and if those don't work, we'll adopt a ton of dogs and they will be our babies."

"Val...."

"I'm serious."

"I can see that." She murmured.

"Do you love me?" He asked her.

"What?! Of course I do." She said in alarm.

"Do you believe I love you?"

"I know you do."

"Then we've got this, no matter what. I think if we can survive, what we've been through, what you've survived. Then we can survive this. It may be rough, it may be hard but if we stick together, we've got this. And I'll always be here to catch you."

"But what if you need catching and I can't?" She shuddered.

"You will, I know you. If we both need caught, we'll catch each other." She nodded at him before he tipped her chin up to press a soft kiss to her lips. Something in that kiss clicked everything for her and she knew he was right. They would make it. They'd most likely have a rollercoaster of ups and downs but they'd make it.

"Can we just stay here?" She whispered completely wiped out from the day.

"Definitely." Val said tipping back and pulling her with him. He settled her on his chest and that's how they spent the rest of the day, curled up together in bed.

So when I come undone at the seams And my heart is on the floor for all to see Do that thing that I need Wrap your arms around me

**That's a wrap for this one. I promise I'm going to get back to all the comments on my last ones. Life has been hectic like I've said but it'll settle. Hopefully you guys like this one! I love you all! Don't forget to like it up and let me know what you thought!

[primadonnatartuffe]

RYAN: *leads jack outside the building to places unknown, mostly because she's forgotten what's in this area of town. but she doesn't care too much about where they're going anyway, she just wants to talk. she's quiet for a long moment, holding onto his arm and entirely too focused on that.*

RYAN: sooOOOooo...

JACK: *Glad to follow her down the riverside outlets. It's where the hotel was at after all. Also, Jack has no idea what the sights look like. He's just going by the sounds. The water's not too far off and the fancy high end restuarants are playing music.* This is nice. *comments, letting his cane tap at the pavement.*

RYAN: yeah.

RYAN: yeah thats what i was thinking too.

RYAN: haha...

RYAN: *keeps stealing glances before she makes herself focus ahead.* i didnt expect to see you here. or everyone else really... but i guess i was hoping.

RYAN: even though i was pretty much terrified of it too?

JACK: *Oblivious to her stealing glances.* I expected it. And I figured it would be more managable to rip at it like a bandaid.

JACK: Done.

JACK: Quick, fast, and in a hurry.

JACK: Everyone you ever took issue with all in one room. What happens next will blow your fucking mind...

JACK: Which was nothing.

JACK: It was painless, more or less. Just like collecting laundry.

RYAN: yeah. *laughs a little about it.* i dont really get why though...

JACK: *tilts his head as if considering* Maybe we were all just waiting for you.

RYAN: *looks at him again, brows knit and curious.* did you think id come back...?

JACK: For a while I didn't know. *he looks on* But then I did.

JACK: And it turned out alright.

RYAN: *coming back has been an emotional time, something she's mostly kept to herself, but hearing that makes it ooze out just a little as her throat constricts and her eyes water. it hurts worse to hold it back, but she's still trying.* i...

RYAN: yeah.

RYAN: haha... i guess it did.

JACK: *He can hear the emotion coiling in her voice. Something that would have made him apprehensive and uncertain before... was now reflecting back at Jack with the most clarity he's ever had experience with. He found himself feeling the pain with her, like he had always meant to.*

JACK: *squeezes at her arm.* Some place to sit would be nice.

JACK: Any benches around?

RYAN: oh shit right. yeah. *clears her throat and guides him to the nearest one. luckily there's plenty of places to sit in such a scenic area. she slides onto the bench, still holding him at the end of her arm.*

RYAN: pop a squat.

JACK: *And pops a squat he does.* Thanks.

RYAN: *can't help thinking back on that day on lauctis when they met on a bench just like, deciding to run away from it all. it's funny to her how they wound up running still, in completely different directions, and yet here they are again... she's probably overthinking it. but she still finds herself leaning on him a little bit.*

RYAN: is it alright if i asked what happened? with your eyes?

JACK: *He feels her lean on him and it's nice. Familiar. He's smiling a little.* I went fucking blind.

RYAN: ... listen.

RYAN: dont be a bitch.

RYAN: *wheezes gently*

JACK: *He's smiling more.* I've always been a little bit of a bitch.

RYAN: no fucking kidding... goddamn. *well, she's grinning. it feels good to goof off. she hasn't had fun in a long while.*

RYAN: here i am trying to have a serious conversation here... and you go and sass me.

JACK: Life has been too serious for my taste. *taps his fingers along the head of his cane.* It could stand to light up about some things.

RYAN: now thats the smartest thing ive heard all damn day. *giggles*

RYAN: ive been so... gloomy lately. and worried about coming home.

RYAN: everything just went to shit out there.

RYAN: itd be nice to have some fun again.

RYAN: *sways a bit, nudging against him* we used to have a lot of fun together right?

JACK: Yeah. I remember. *He thinks he can smell her perfume as she nudges at him. Tickling at some fondly meloncholy memories.* I'm having fun right now.

RYAN: heh... me too. *rests her head on his shoulder as she continues to sway, humming along with the music in the distance.*

JACK: *Just listens to her, stirring in the pleasant swirl of his thoughts. Sometimes it was just nice to sit like this... existing.*

RYAN: *resumes like this for a few quiet moments, enjoying the comfort of a familiar presence, and the promise that things would be alright. but she does eventually speak up again, though her voice is soft.*

RYAN: i missed you.

JACK: *Taking everything into consideration, it all boiled down to one simple fact for Jack.* Yeah. I missed you too.

RYAN: *looks up at him with her cheek still resting against his shoulder and smiles. she's still melancholic, reflecting on the past. everything that went wrong, between them, and for the both of them individually. but it feels bittersweet. already, it felt like old wounds were healing, and she's so glad she decided to come back.*

RYAN: im gonna stick around this time.

JACK: *He finds himself smiling again. Glad that when she spoke, the messages stopped being so complicated in his head.* I'm proud of you, Ryan.

JACK: Now... all that's left to do is go up.

RYAN: *the words seem to strike her right through the heart. her smile widens, and the laughter that bubbles out of her is watery all over again. the last thing she ever expected to hear when she came back was that someone was /proud/ of her. it's not like he knew just how badly she fucked up (as far as she knows) so maybe he just doesn't understand... but shit, she'll accept how it makes her feel a lit

RYAN: tle less like a failure.* yeah... hahaha... fuck. *wipes at her eyes, trying to avoid messing up her make up too bad. stupid tears.*

JACK: *brings his hand up, disregarding how smudged her make up might become and just... holds her to him. Letting her curl and sniffle and do whatever else she needed to do.*

RYAN: *no... she's going to fight him for being so sweet. like it's all so effortless. there's so many feelings she never forgot surfacing once again, making her heart race, but she didn't really expect anything like this to ever happen. she does curl against him as her tears fall, placing her hand over his and squeezing tight.*

JACK: *The quiet is heavy, disrupted only by the sound of music in the distance. In the end, Jack squeezes her hand in return. Continuing to stroke her hair with his other.* It's not much...

JACK: But the good news is the worst is over.

JACK: I hope you know that.

RYAN: *exhales, trying to steady the tears and the shake of her breathing. she ultimately smiles again, nuzzling against him.* i do now.

JACK: That's a relief. *hums* Of course. People usually cry when they have their faces pressed to my tits.

JACK: It's a normal thing.

JACK: A fate I have come to accept.

RYAN: *snrk...* okay cool so you wont be offended if i wipe my snot all over your tacky shirt here.

JACK: I've had worse wiped on me. It's fine.

RYAN: hehehe... actually its kind of growing on me. i dont think ill desecrate it. *smooths a hand over the fabric, which incidentally his chest is underneath it.*

JACK: *He's still as solid as ever. Workouts are kind of mandatory nowadays...* I'm sure it's a nice shirt. It's pretty good at soaking as far as I know.

RYAN: *god fucking bless these pecs. pat pat...* now it sounds like you want me to blow my nose into your tiddies.

RYAN: weird kink... but i guess i know of weirder.

JACK: *He's at such peace right now.* Correction-- crying on tiddies. That's what really gets me going.

RYAN: oh baby... then why dont we go back to your place put on some marley and me and really heat things up.

JACK: Hm. Can't say I'm very into dogs dying. Sorry.

JACK: *says this but he sounds amused.*

RYAN: okay then what would be your preferred method of inducing tears?

JACK: I daresay we have time and science on our hands.

JACK: Maybe it should be looked into.

RYAN: *internal wheezing.* well /i/ daresay you might be onto something there.

RYAN: i gotta take you home at some point anyway.

JACK: *All of Jack's smiles look too smug. It's a great feeling.* Excellent segueway.

RYAN: *she wants to punch his smug face!! with her mouth!!* why thank you. ;)

RYAN: gimme your address ill call a cab.

JACK: *And so... he does just that.*