#& with that not sure how much Writing writing i'll be getting done tonight lads

[ateliaers]

FOLKS WE GOT 'EM ( TICKETS TO D20 LIVE )

[niall-ate-mynamee]

He's Not Heavy, He's Our Brother (final part)

Author's note: so, this mini fic has come to an end. Thank you so much anon's for the requests which started this all. I've had such a blast writing this, and I hope you've had a blast reading it!

I won't be posting for a couple more days, since I have some thing's planned (I'll be writing a separate post for that after this), and I don't wanna rush into finishing anything just yet. Please let me know what you thought of this fic. I've had so much fun writing this and I just really hope you have all enjoyed reading it just as much!

Anyways...ENJOY THE FINAL PART <3

PART ONE HERE

PART TWO HERE

TRIGGER WARNINGS: bad language, sexual harassment, drug use, drugs, non-consensual touching, non-consensual drugging, attempted non-con/rape.

Characters: Niall Horan, Louis Tomlinson, Harry Styles, Liam Payne, Original Male/Female Characters

Word count: 1531

The Royal London Hospital...

Louis sighed miserably, glancing at the clock on the wall. He'd only been sitting alone for around ten minutes, but it had felt like hours since he got here. Once the ambulance pulled up outside, the paramedics were quick to get Niall inside and seen to, while a nurse had met Louis in the reception and guided him into a awaiting chair, talking softly to him. She left him alone soon enough, once she had made him have a drink of water and assured him she, or a doctor, would come find him with news later on.

When had everything gone so wrong?

Both he and Niall had seen, and dealt with, their fair share of drunken creeps, it came with the job, but never had one of those said creeps done anything like this. At least, not in their club. Not to one of them. He felt somewhat guilty. Being the oldest in the group of best friends came with a responsibility that he adopted onto himself. He promised he would protect them, keep them safe, look after them. So, why hadn't he managed that tonight?

They should've been back at home, safe and together, laughing at a scene in a random film they would've picked out to watch. They were lucky. Having your best friends living in the same building, being able to see them every single day, it was a blessing that Louis couldn't quite believe he managed to get. He thought everything was perfect.

Until tonight happened.

He knew, from hearing stories on the news, to researching all the different kinds of PTSD and trauma the victims dealt with afterwards, that Niall wouldn't be the same after this. Maybe not for a long time. Even though the creep didn't get as far as he was so obviously planning, that didn't stop the trauma. Niall was drugged against his will, forced to consume so much more alcohol mixed with what-the-fuck-ever else it was spiked with, and was stripped, beaten and so very nearly raped. Louis almost couldn't believe it.

Except, he did. Because he had seen it. With his very own eyes. He saw the man on top of his best friend, he saw the empty plastic bottle a few feet away, he saw the evidence of abuse. He knew, no matter what, he, nor the others, especially Niall, would ever forget this. And that was devastating. Heartbreaking. So utterly cruel that Louis didn't even know if there was a God or whatever, because if there was, why did these things happen?

He cried. For his best friend, his non-biological little brother. For Liam and Harry. For himself. For their futures that were once so bright, now uncertain and more than likely filled with dark days and recovery.

Louis. Just. Cried.

Until the doctor arrived. Looking up through blurred vision, Louis could make out the doctor in front of him. He wasn't sure how much time had passed. He wondered why Liam and Harry hadn't arrived yet. Surely they should've been here by now?

"How is he?" Asked a voice and, oh. Liam and Harry are here. When did they get here? Louis was so confused. He must've been properly out of it much longer than he thought. "Is he okay?" That was Liam.

The doctor smiled softly, taking a seat opposite the lads. "He'll be okay." He stated first and foremost. "We found a fair bit of GHB in Mr Horan's system, which would've been in the drink that he was forced to drink. We managed to flush it, and the alcohol, out and currently have him on an IV to rehydrate him. We're going to keep him sedated tonight, and he should wake up by tomorrow evening. He's been very lucky, lads. I know it doesn't seem like it right now, but we were unable to find any evidence of sexual penetration, so that is a positive."

Louis didn't realise he had been holding his breath until he gasped in relief as he heard those words. Although, deep down, he knew the creep hadn't gotten that far, it was the biggest relief hearing it coming from a doctor.

"I want to keep him in for a few days, just until I know for sure that the drug is completely flushed out. He'll probably be quite drowsy and disorientated for a couple days once he's come around, but in time, that will pass and he shouldn't have any physical side effects. Now, what I must talk to you boys about right now, is the next steps. When Mr Horan is awake, his mental state may not be very stable. I can arrange for one of our psychologists to come down and chat to him, but really, it'll be up to him to decide if he continues. Is there anybody at home with him?"

"N-no," Harry said, shakily, "He has his own flat, but, all three of us live in the same building. One of us could stay with him for a while?"

The doctor nodded. "That could work. I wouldn't recommend leaving him alone for a while. He'll need help with some things while he's recovering. I will talk to the psychology team and have one assigned to Mr Horan. In the meantime…would you boys like to see him?" The doctor smiled at the nods he received and stood up, allowing them a few seconds to follow suit and began leading them away to a room tucked in a corner, the windows shielded by blinds, to allow some privacy.

"I will be round in a couple hours to check up on him, but if you need me before, don't hesitate to press the buzzer on the wall. You can help yourselves to some water, tea and coffee from the nurses station just down the hall, there's also some buscuits and cakes should you fancy anything. There's some couches in there should any of you wish to catch some sleep too. As long as you lads keep the volume down, you're welcome to stay. I will see you all very soon."

With that, Liam, Louis and Harry were left alone, standing outside the door that seperated them from their best friend. With a shaky hand, Liam slowly pushed on the wood and one by one, each boy stepped into the room and fell into the chairs, once scattered around the room to now besides the bed, and got settled down for a long night.

-----

Two months later…

It's been a tough two months for everyone. Especially Niall. The first three weeks he had been home, he'd have terrible nightmares, one's that would have him screaming and sobbing, waking Louis up, who had been the one to move in while he recovered, leaving him exhausted but unable to sleep again for that night. He hadn't left the house again until week four, and even then, he was an anxious mess. He had countless panic attacks. Each one seeming worse than the last. He hasn't been to work since. His managers, Frank and Tucker, have both been in contact with Louis, sending their love and thoughts. They said not to worry about work, they'd both have a job when, or if, they returned. Louis was so grateful.

Everyone was exhausted.

But, nobody was angry at Niall, even when the Irishman broke down and apologised profusely, begging them not to hate him or leave him alone, sobbing that he was to blame and they shouldn't have to put up with him, he's sorry but understands if they want to go. They would end up in a tight huddle together, after that. With not a single dry eye. All three telling him it was okay, they could never hate him, he's definitely not to blame, and they love him more than anything. It breaks their hearts to see him so weak, when he was once so strong.

Niall Horan used to be so full of life, filled with joy, doubled over with laughter at a corny, totally not funny knock knock joke that Harry would make up on the spot. He used to provide comfort and care whenever Liam got sad. He used to buddy up with Louis for pranks and practical jokes, basically crying with laughter when they were caught.

They knew, sometime, somewhere, somehow, they will see a glimpse of that Niall again. Maybe not today. Maybe not tomorrow. Maybe not in the next year. But, they would. Because they loved him. Because they would stick by him for the rest of time. Because they were brothers, by blood or not, they would never leave him. Niall will never be alone again. Because he had his best friends, his brothers, around him.

He will recover.

And, years later, when they were sat in the same club, which was now a quiet restaurant, with their old friends Frank and Tucker, enjoying a lovely meal together, they were asked how they got through it all with what must've been a heavy a burden on them all, they looked at each other with knowing grins and Louis answered, as confident as ever:

"He's not heavy, he's our brother."

Author's note: as usual, I haven't proof read this, so if you spot any mistakes, please let me know!

I'm not sure if I like the ending so much...it seems kinda rushed, so please let me know what you think anyways. Thank you all for reading this and letting my stories be part of your day. I love you all, and I'll see you very soon! <3

[imightgetbetter]

I completely agree with you, I think the things he said were vile and damaging beyond belief and I think that there is no amount of apologies that can undo it, I will never listen to him the same for sure.

I won't get really into it because I have a whole ass 2 page essay on it (it's easier for me to decide things like that) but from listening to the whole podcast, a lot of it was very very lead and encouraged by the hosts, that is not to above matty, still vile, but it is setting a tone that people who are easily Influenced (I.e matty is just a man and is easily influenced in areas) or people who aren't thinking much (once again, he's an idiot istg) however I'm not saying he's not absolutely vile for this and gross, especially when it comes to the weird sort of homophobia, and the comments about women and other marginalised groups, If he took time, reflected, apologised, and proved with his actions that he had chnaged I think there is some semblance of saving it.

In no way will it be better, and It will not possibly just be forgotten, but it's possible to very slowly come back from if he just shuts the fuck up and let's himself get educated and proves he's willing to change.

I think my perspective is a little different because a lot of the stuff said there is just stuff I hear regularly in school and always have, it's a vile culture among younger lads that's become very normalised at certain places. I don't agree with it. I personally don't feel safe around it. It's gross and dehumanising. But I have seen people genuinely turn themselves around from similar points or worse.

That is not to say that you are not absolutely valid in your position, I very much agree in this has made my feelings towards the man very confused and uncomfortable, but I just felt it necesary to explain I'm not defending him.

Sorry this is so long and stuff I just don't want you thinking im not with you on this, I am, I felt it necesary to explain myself a little. Either way, I hope you are OK, and I hope that this doesn't cause much distress for you, I know its rough, especially given your recent writing. I'm wishing you well, I'll probably pop in every now and then on my train journey tonight anyway, look after yourself though. I have deleted twitter like 3 years ago so I think I'm going to save myself the pain of reading that statement.

i get where you're coming from! considering i work in music, i hear the most vile things from grown men all the time. it used to shock me, and then i kind of just moved on? i feel like that trivializes it but that's what i had to do. most of the men that work in music in some capacity think this way. i just think it's so unsettling that he completely isolated a majority of his fanbase to fit in with what these people were saying, which is so odd? like, are you not a grown man? are you not able to sit there and say, i don't agree or i don't think this way. i really don't see how he could reflect and change this behavior when this isn't the first time he's done it. it's like that saying, fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me. that's kind of how this feels to me.

[smuggsy]

heyo! If you feel like a prompt, I'll offer up one for the flyboys? How about, “Am I going to die?" pls <3

Thank you! I always feel like writing for these two! Two prompts in a day, wow, this is unheard of. I would feel accomplished except I should've been working on an essay for my medieval history class so I only feel guilty lmao.

Anyway. Here, have some pining idiots. Bit of angst sprinkled in but really this is just Collins biting off more than he can chew. You know I love putting him in these situations #sorrynotsorry.

Collins has always been the heavier drinker. He's more easy-going, always accepting pints from the younger lads and beating them at cards and joining in on their bets when dark clouds loom close to the ground and they're allowed to leave for the day.

It's usually Farrier keeping him in check, walking him back to base late at night and watching carefully from behind, giving him space but close enough to grab in case he trips over his feet after a good amount of beer has numbed his reflexes.

Collins naively assumes Farrier isn't a booze lover. Isn't that into alcohol in general; he never has more than two pints, not even when Collins refuses to indulge in it does Farrier let himself get too comfortable at the bar or at a table.

Never when Collins is with him, anyway. This is a thought that has just recently taken form, as in, about ten minutes ago when Collins caught up with the group at the local pub after returning from his daily rounds.

Today he walks into the crowded place brimming with pilots as a thunderstorm announces itself outside, and when he takes a seat next to his wingmate on the far-off corner from the door he finds Farrier doesn't look up to meet his gaze.

"Evening," Collins greets, but he's not sure he's heard him over the music and incessant chatting of their peers.

Even if he does, Farrier pays him no mind.

To say that Collins is instantly bugged by it is an understatement. Farrier stares down at something in his lap, he's hunched down and sports a permanent frown and the overall sight of him just looks wrong.

"Ey, alright?"

He realises, but only once Farrier snaps his head up, that his eyes are a bit too glassy, his breath smelling a bit too strong when he sighs in Collins' direction.

"What? Oh, hey."

Collins only sees the paper in a flash, before Farrier tucks it back into the inner pocket of his jacket. The quick motion clearly meant to keep it away from prying eyes is the only reason Collins doesn't ask. Yet.

"Having fun?" he says instead with a smile, trying to brush away the sudden heaviness of a conversation that hasn't even started, and he leans back on his own seat and surveys the table in front. He counts at least five empty pints close enough to Farrier's side.

"Fun," Farrier scoffs with a shake of his head.

Collins finds the irony dripping from the word so strong and uncharacteristic that he leans over and takes a chug or two of his own beer.

"Let them have fun," his mate continues, gesturing vaguely towards the youngest recruits fooling about on the dancefloor, "they don't know what's fucking coming."

At that, Collins can't help but stare.

He gently places his pint back on the table and doesn't tear his eyes away from Farrier, now stumbling out of his chair looking much drunker than he did just a second ago.

"M'gonna head back," he says, trying to walk past Collins who only manages to move his chair back once Farrier's already on the other side.

"It'll be pouring outside!"

Just then, a thunder rumbles low and menacing under the sweet voice of The Andrews Sisters coming off the gramophone. Farrier stops dead in his tracks for a moment and just when Collins thinks he's going to turn around and sit back down, he shrugs and walks away.

"Ah, s'only a bit of rain, innit..."

He only stops by the bar to pay for his round of drinks, pushing through one or two excited couples dancing away the night and apologizing to one of the gals for almost stepping on her foot.

Collins watches the whole exchange from his spot, a bit taken aback by Farrier so easily brushing him off.

He gives himself a few moments to feel hurt and then he stands up and pays for his own unfinished pint, only catching up to him as he rounds the corner and the first droplets of rain start announcing a hell of a storm.

"Yer gonna be wet straight through if ya walk back now!"

"Yeah," Farrier says over his shoulder, lighting a cigarette and sending a sour smile Collins' way, "I am."

His gaze seems only a bit clearer as he stares Collins down, giving him a once over and taking in the sight with an approving nod. It makes something in Collins' stomach turn.

In a good way.

"You go back though, get yourself a nice bird to dance with. Put in all that effort to walk me back like I'm your granny?"

With the dragging of his words and the cigarette he keeps firmly placed in between his lips, Collins almost doesn't understand him.

He lets out an emotionless laugh and starts walking again when Farrier does.

"What effort? I always look like this."

Farrier blows away the smoke and nods again.

"You do."

"Something happen?"

There it is. He asks.

Farrier almost halts, just almost. He looks like he's about to answer but then the cigarette is back in his mouth and he openly ignores his question for a whole minute. Collins gets the cue but he still doesn't turn back. He figures he can play chaperone tonight, like Farrier's done with him so many times before.

Except, he's always ranting on after his round of pints and his wingmate's not much of a talker. No way to fill in the awkward silence. Collins can't help himself.

"You got mail," he tries again, a statement, just a simple comment that doesn't mean any harm and it definitely doesn't mean to make Farrier turn around like that - like he's properly annoyed at him for asking. For caring.

"Just go back," Farrier bites out, harshly, "you just got 'ere. Go on, don't lemme spoil your night."

"You're not."

"Collins..."

"I'll go if you really want me to."

That makes Farrier look at him again, truly look at him like the words have taken a bit of the alcohol off his blood and sobered him up. He stares for a long moment and then starts walking again without a word. Failing to answer again but answering nonetheless.

The lamp-posts they walk past light up the heavier drops of rain as if warning them of what's to come. Collins' hair is still wet from the shower so he doesn't feel much of a difference.

"You're a good kid, Jackie," Farrier says after a while, hands in the pockets of his trousers and looking up to the moonless sky. When he does, he seems to lose a bit of balance that he quickly regains before Collins can actually grab his arm to steady him.

He reckons it's better he didn't get to, judging by Farrier's general snappiness tonight. Can't be completely sure his help would be welcomed. 

"What did you just call me?" he teases with a grin.

He sees a smile tug at Farrier's lips.

"A good kid."

Jackie.

"I'm twenty-fuckin'-five, thank you very much!"

At last, Farrier lets out a laugh. Collins feels like a heavy weight's been lifted off his shoulders.

"You're a fuckin' tease, s'what you are."

It's just as well that mother nature stops him as he intends to give an answer, because the words get stuck in his throat at the implication of that sentence.

The sky goes white for a split second, lightning flaring up above their heads before the cracking of thunder seems to switch on the merciless pouring rain once and for all. They're already far enough that they'd still end up drenched from head to toe even if they walked back to the pub.

"Shit, come on!"

Farrier starts running forward, where there's a couple of leafy pines by the road before the clearing starts the path back to the airbase: a very long and tree-deserted runway and training field.

In short, they're fucked.

Farrier beats him to the cover of the canopy and Collins thinks that perhaps he wasn't that drunk after all.

"Quicker in the air than on the ground, eh lad?"

"Want to race me, old man?"

"Nah, wouldn't want that spotless suit wrecked with mud."

Collins turns to answer and finds Farrier grinning at him playfully, looking him up and down again for the second time in twenty minutes - the spark in his eyes doesn't go unnoticed because he's never caught him staring so openly before. It makes his pulse quicken and turns his filter off.

"You really like me in my suit, dontcha?"

Farrier's next words sound fuelled by beer, as does that almost imperceptible lick of his lips.

"Why, of course I do."

He looks away to the curtain of falling rain in front of them, pooling down on the grass, and he shakes his head and talks so low that Collins almost doesn't hear him again.

"Don't do that."

"Do what?"

"I'm drunk."

"Yeah, I know. Ye keep lookin' at me like ye want to eat me or somethin'."

Farrier snaps his head back to look at him, mouth half-open like a fish out of the water - like he can't quite believe what he's just heard, and Collins panics, thinks he's misread the situation completely (thinks that even if he didn't, he really shouldn't have called Farrier on it because, as his wingmate so bluntly put it, he is drunk). Thinks that's a very reckless and stupid thing to say and that he hasn't even downed half a pint of beer so he can't even use that as an excuse.

Collins stares back, for a moment he considers stepping away, jumping over that poodle increasing in size and running away in whichever opposite direction Farrier means to walk.

Try and pretend he didn't fuck this up royally.

"Well, would you want me to?" Farrier blurts out all of a sudden, openly staring at Collins' lips and neck and cheeks and hair now.

"What?"

"I said, would you want me to."

Another lightning. Farrier's face is so close that Collins can count the scattered freckles on his nose and cheeks where stray drops of rain slide down on his skin. He has very long eyelashes.

"Eat you or something."

The thunder following the light drowns out that pitiful noise that escapes Collins' throat. He feels drowsy like he's the one who spent hours sitting down at that table in the wet sweet air of the pub gulping down pint after pint.

Farrier is very, very drunk even if he doesn't look like it anymore.

He must be.

Collins wonders: if he answers truthfully, will Farrier remember it tomorrow?

"Yeah," his wingmate snickers, and after what feels like ages he takes the slightest step back and smiles that sour smile from before, fishing another cigarette out of his pack and putting it between his lips, "thought so. Pretty boy like you."

Pretty boy like– what the fuck's that supposed to mean?

"Answer me this, Collins. Am I going to die?"

And just like that, the conversation steers away from longing looks and unspoken words. Farrier's back to smoking that ciggy that's already wet and his hands return to his pockets and Collins feels he's just lost an opportunity that isn't going to arise again any time soon.

"What?" he repeats, like a broken record, refusing to let his own eyes derail from Farrier's face, refusing to look away to the falling of rain, the runway, the clearing, the town far away like Farrier himself is doing. Refusing to let the moment go.

"What are my chances? What are our chances?"

Collins shakes his head in frustration.

"Surviving this shit. Let me tell you: they're very thin. So it's better this way. I mean, it's me but– well it's just not worth it, is it? Forget it."

"Forget. Forget what? Tom, the fuck are you on about? Is this about that letter?"

"Fuck that letter."

He tosses the cigarette to the ground.

There's no remorse in the words, no hatred despite Farrier turning back to him and suddenly standing up straight, shoulders broad, gaze unwavering and challenging. Collins is still a bit taller but that doesn't mean he feels taller.

"I– sorry I– didn't mean to–"

"My fiancée," Farrier cuts him off, cocking his head and studying Collins' reaction for a moment before continuing, "got killed. A bombing over Portsmouth."

He drags the paper out and almost shoves it in Collins' face, who just stands there at a loss for words, again. Stammering like a broken record, again.

"I–," didn't know you were engaged, "–sorry, I'm sorry that happened."

He wants to kick himself for his lack of eloquence but it's the least of his concerns because he was just flirting with Farrier a moment ago, and Farrier was leading him on for some fucking reason – a fiancée?

That tends to mean one's attracted to women.

A dead fiancée.

"Sorry, Tom."

"Don't be."

Another lightning, another thunder, more heavy rain and Collins is already starting to feel the cold reach through his layers of clothes.

"I'm not. Fuck, I'm relieved!"

Farrier runs a hand over his face.

"I'm– fuck."

"It's okay," Collins offers uselessly.

"She's dead and I'm relieved I don' have to marry her. How fucked up is that?"

Collins thinks he hears a cry, and when Farrier tries to look away again he knows he heard a cry, and he doesn't let him turn around and steps forward to hold him in a tight embrace instead. Farrier wraps his arms around him tightly like he'd been waiting for Collins to hug him.

"I'm fucking horrible," he says, words muffled in the fabric of Collins' suit and sniffing through a runny nose. Jack keeps a hand rubbing at Farrier's back in what he hopes is an empathetic touch.

"No you're not, you're not."

They stay like that, holding onto one another against the trunk of a tree that's doing a really poor job of sheltering them from the rain at this point, but is better than nothing. Farrier doesn't really cry, stubborn as he is even in this state of inebriation, and after a while Collins feels his stubbly chin brushing against the side of his neck and smells the scent of alcohol again.

"I like it when you use my name," Farrier mumbles, words still muffled and burrowing his nose in Collins' shirt like it belongs there.

Collins' only thought at that moment, frozen and unable to say anything back, is that Drunk Farrier is a real piece of work. He thinks he understands, now, why he doesn't drink.

[punkscowardschampions]

Janis & Jimmy

Janis: [stories of the gals getting ready at a mad early time like ???] Janis: they know the party really starts at midnight, yeah? 🤔 Jimmy: they know they'll be 🎃 or 🐀s by then, gotta get all the selfies they can before the clock strikes, obvs Jimmy: REAL question is do I have time to tattoo anti-Tory slogans across my whole body before her dad comes back to see me ✨ or not Janis: Tag yourself, 🎃 or 🐀, you're clearly the 🎃 Janis: duh, you've got the ink, I'll bring the needle Janis: easy Jimmy: 'cause I'm SO 😁 about this party, near as 🎃 Jimmy: what can I write to let him know my truest feelings about lawyers? 🤔🤔 Jimmy: no win no fee finger tats? Janis: weren't just calling you fat with a dodgy spray tan Janis: though it does sum up half the clan so 👏🏆 Janis: VERY working class Janis: perfect Jimmy: but if the 👠 fits, yeah? I get it Jimmy: only #DRAMA'll be if Ian rates them an' all Jimmy: I'd have to ❌ 'em out or cover 'em up with something that'll get him fuming before he realises Jimmy: or chuck a 👗 on to go with them 👠 Janis: SO many men, SO many ways to please 'em/piss 'em off 😤😰 Janis: and the shoe don't fit you babe, sort of the whole point Janis: 👸✔ Jimmy: 😘😘😘 Jimmy: just carry it about so I can start a 🥊 nowt more common than a chipped tooth and black eye Janis: be PLENTY of candidates for a smack Janis: not sure if there'll be many who could get one in though Janis: 💔 Jimmy: 🎻 have to get my mascara running another way, huns Janis: 🤢 Janis: you when your gag reflex kicks in Jimmy: SHOULD I spray tan? Tell me honestly Janis: 😬 Jimmy: go on, what one do you use? looks well natural Janis: 😏 Idiot Janis: @ my sister 'cos hers ain't Jimmy: oh right, fancy dress 🥳 is it? Jimmy: THANK GOD you said Janis: if you ain't gone anywhere more exotic than Skerries for the break, you've GOT to pretend hun Jimmy: brb painting myself Janis: remember to do the backs of your legs Janis: don't wanna match Asia Jimmy: how many 🥊 do you reckon to knock her 🦷🦷 out? Jimmy: can't do no 🥇 twinning with them there Janis: could do it under 5 but you might lose more fingers Jimmy: o wi no f Jimmy: mysterious Janis: you what? Jimmy: it'll ruin daddy's favourite tattoos but Jimmy: the 😎🚬 Janis: oh Janis: pftt Janis: you'll have a few years before you've ruined it with all the coffee machine burns Jimmy: such a relief, that Janis: what's more 💪 #ladladlad than various injuries Jimmy: tah for letting me know before my rib has healed and I've pissed away all the content I could've had Janis: I mean, that's why he does it yeah Janis: that old excuse Jimmy: bit late for any dickhead to try to toughen me up Jimmy: wrong location an' all Janis: you're tough enough Janis: some would say you look rough in that 👗👠 Jimmy: stop flirting with me, I'm well busy turning myself into that Bargain Hunt bloke Janis: *budget HUN Jimmy: give me a break, Jodie, it's happening on mine in the CG 🚽 Janis: busy working boss babe, I get it Janis: I'm busy too, tah Jimmy: doing what? Janis: 🐕🏃 Janis: people wanna get ready/get pissed without worrying about their pooches, who knew Jimmy: I get it🎇🎆'll start and they'll all shit themselves, helps if they've already done a 💩 Janis: that, and I doggy drug them so Janis: everyone's 😁 Jimmy: except Ian, he'll be 💔😭🎻 you ain't poisoned ours for the night Janis: There really is no pleasing some people Jimmy: @ Sharon in a bit Janis: when she's had enough seccys to spill the good goss Janis: 👍 Jimmy: 🗨 about as good as the time he'll be threatening her with Janis: Ick Janis: I hate this night Jimmy: subtle hint and challenge accepted Jimmy: I'll turn it round for you, girl Janis: you ain't competing with much but Janis: go ahead Jimmy: 👍 Janis: need a thumb in the middle gladiator style Jimmy: bit rude Janis: I'll decide your fate, that's not necessarily rude Jimmy: which one's the 💀💀💀 one? Janis: 👎 I think Janis: but you'll be 👍 so maybe we need to switch it Jimmy: don't need to be fluent at signing to come up with a signal Jimmy: I'll make it really obvious for you when I want you to do it Janis: gun through the roof of your mouth is a bit obvious to the rest of the party-goers though, remember Jimmy: you want subtle you can have subtle Janis: I want you to do what you want Janis: if we're not enjoying fucking up their party, what's the point Jimmy: I don't do nowt I don't want Jimmy: far as this goes Jimmy: enough of that bollocks everywhere else Janis: you know what I mean Jimmy: and I meant what I said Jimmy: not actually 😁 but Jimmy: it'll be alright Janis: yeah Janis: we're 🥇 Janis: it's them having the 💩 time Jimmy: already Jimmy: [group chat highlights] Janis: 😏 Janis: do we know which of them is bringing a victim? Jimmy: Asia DUH Jimmy: Tammy's the only one who had me #SHOOK Janis: bullshit Janis: be SO awks when her fake boyf doesn't show Jimmy: be so 💔 when it ain't a full set no more Jimmy: even 💀#2's spreading it about that there's a lad she wants to 💋 Janis: 😂 either you or her is lying now Janis: I'll place my bets Jimmy: insider tip, it ain't me Jimmy: I'd NEVER lie to you, sweetheart Janis: 💕 Janis: does it make Mia 😁 or 😣 😖 😫 😩 🥺 😢 😭 😤 😠 😡 🤬 🤯 REALLY though Janis: that's the question Jimmy: my 💰's on 😁 when it don't happen Janis: that's with any of them 👑 Janis: thinks she's the 👸 of the story Jimmy: who's she faking it is? that's the real question Jimmy: remind me how many brothers you've got again Janis: just the 1, that's easy to remember, keep up Jimmy: if he were gonna brainwash himself into a new sexuality, she'd DEFINITELY be who for Janis: ✨ she ain't Janis: god bless Jimmy: 🙄 back to ootds, fuck's sake Asia Janis: Do you wanna see mine now or be pleasantly surprised later Jimmy: Do you want me to chuck this ☕ over the dickhead who ordered it or what? Janis: surely that goes without saying Jimmy: there's your answer then Janis: [some lewk you won't be able to serve 'cos god damnit we deserve it] Jimmy: shit Janis: tell Asia she may as well stay home then? Jimmy: [does but in a way that's like loved up and #goals not like fuck you gals obvs] Jimmy: when did you sort that? Jimmy: it weren't the other day, I'd have 👀 Janis: would you? you were pretty distracted Janis: I had it way at the back of my wardrobe though Jimmy: Oi, don't be doubting my dedication to 🛍 Janis: you're well dedicated to the try-on, I know Jimmy: I know what matters, yeah Janis: you're gonna have time to get all your glitter on, yeah? Jimmy: I'll make time, LITERALLY see above for why, like Janis: Priorities, baby Jimmy: 🥇 or nowt Janis: I'll let you get on with spilling more coffee over more dickheads then Janis: 🕖 will fly Jimmy: you're the dickhead Janis: oi Jimmy: you are Janis: how am I? Jimmy: you know how Jimmy: you're gonna just 💀💀💀 me and piss off? Janis: You're not 💀💀💀 Jimmy: it feels like I could Janis: that's how I want you to feel Janis: do you want me to apologize? Jimmy: I want Janis: you want Janis: ❓ Jimmy: you here Janis: I want that too Janis: but I can't Janis: both busy Jimmy: that's why you're a dickhead Janis: blame your manager Janis: and these dogs Jimmy: they're not sending me 📷 Jimmy: looking so fucking Janis: should hope no Janis: t* Janis: your DMs are full enough without that blatant competition Jimmy: would explain the TENSION and shite shifts Janis: oi Jimmy: never said I were gonna give him any 😍 or 💌 back Janis: 😣 Janis: will have to ask to see your manager to fuck him up Jimmy: I get that you're just making sure my 😍 stay yours but I can't help falling for it Janis: Gotta do what I gotta do Janis: even if it means Karen-ing out Jimmy: not too busy for that? Janis: never too busy for a brawl Janis: um, defending your honour, I mean Jimmy: priorities Jimmy: 💔💔💔 Janis: Baby Janis: you ARE my priority Jimmy: *🐕🏃💰 Janis: what are you doing right now Janis: ☕💰 Jimmy: difference is I could and would be able to still ☕🎨 if I had you here on this counter an' all Jimmy: 🐕s ain't letting you do owt but 🏃 Janis: Trying to work out if you want me to give you the chance to prove that or not Jimmy: you think I've got owt to prove? Janis: Not to me Jimmy: who else? Jimmy: you're the only one I'm bothered about Janis: then Jimmy: then what? Janis: If I get time Janis: and get rid of all these dogs at a point Janis: I could try to come in Jimmy: 🚫🤞 Jimmy: but Janis: I know Janis: it's bullshit but Janis: I mean that I'll try Jimmy: it's not nowt that you mean that Janis: I am doing the route 'round mine though Janis: typically Janis: so it will take me a while regardless Jimmy: I'll be here ages Jimmy: maybe he wants to make his move after I've flipped the sign to closed Janis: doesn't he know we're the only ones allowed to be cliche Jimmy: knows nowt unless it's written in the work groupchat Jimmy: I'll have a word Janis: kind of you Janis: I could just pull up on him Jimmy: STOP OMG 🤤🤤🤤😍😍 Janis: 😂 Jimmy: [a selfie with the manager in the background and he's drawn a 🎯 on him like] Janis: [finger gun selfie like pew pew] Jimmy: alright, don't keep reminding me how fit you are Janis: heaven forbid ANYONE forgets Janis: gonna take SO many selfies tonight Jimmy: Oi Janis: *couple goals selfies Jimmy: 📷's my job, dickhead Jimmy: don't matter if I'm in 'em or not Janis: so possessive about your 📸 Jimmy: bollocks am I, I've offered to lend it loads of times Janis: must be the muse then Jimmy: she is 🥇 Janis: you're pretty good Jimmy: but I could teach you 📸 there's nowt you could teach any dickhead about how you're 🥇 Janis: 📸 not the only thing you're 🥇 at Jimmy: there's a list you've got, so I've heard Janis: more than a maybe Janis: ✔ Jimmy: 😏 Janis: you can have another Janis: at midnight Janis: better than a 💋 from a drunk randomer Jimmy: you're still gonna kiss me though Jimmy: ! and ? Janis: look weird if I didn't Jimmy: if you don't wanna I'll arrange to be 😭😭😭 in the 🚽 with Ella and Tammy Janis: highly doubt #2 has the energy to fake tears, let alone produce 'em Jimmy: just me and the tiktok 👑 then Jimmy: bit weird and cosy but Janis: don't be stupid Jimmy: *💔 you mean Janis: you know I want to Jimmy: you have to, I'm turning the night round for you, as promised Janis: and that's your answer, yeah? Jimmy: if your question's how I'm gonna do it, I ain't gonna answer Jimmy: ⏲ and 👀 Janis: alright Janis: not promising patience Jimmy: I know what you're like, it's alright Jimmy: nowt if not used to that, me Janis: sound more put upon Janis: dickhead Jimmy: UGHHHHHHHHHHHH Jimmy: there you go Janis: ha ha Janis: 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣** there YOU go Jimmy: **🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄 Janis: you'll do yourself an injury Jimmy: not ANOTHER one 🎻 Janis: you brought it up, that time Janis: let the record show Jimmy: but it's you who's making it sound like I need to chuck a load of fragile stickers on my head Jimmy: good job it's massive Janis: I am not Jimmy: 👌 girl Janis: get in the group chat if you wanna chat like that Janis: BOY Jimmy: never left, I'd be GUTTED to miss one of Asia's POSSIBLE ootds Janis: stay in there Jimmy: [sends her the worst of these lewks] Janis: What's she going for with that... Janis: I? Jimmy: 🐧? Jimmy: hang on, no, it's OBVS 🦨 Janis: the slaggy one from Bambi Jimmy: very on brand of her Janis: interesting theme Janis: bit characters from retro disney Jimmy: 💀👑 must've sorted it Jimmy: ☠🍎's on brand for her Janis: she thinks the queen but definitely the crone Jimmy: don't she eat the lass' 💘 in the 📖? have to get her calorie counter app out Janis: actually a pigs heart so factor that in, babe Jimmy: 💔 for her Janis: so much fat Janis: don't fancy it any more on the way back up Jimmy: I don't fancy my 🍪🧁🥐 no more, tah for that, mate Jimmy: gonna look so skinny in a bit now Janis: **less fat Janis: don't get carried away Jimmy: ILY 2 BABES 💖🙌 Jimmy: such BFF goals, us Janis: rival 💀👑 n #2 Jimmy: 👏👏🥀 Janis: is she still with my brother or what Jimmy: dunno Jimmy: been a bit busy telling Asia she's dead brave for going with that 👗 Janis: 😏 Janis: shame she's thick enough to be expecting the 🥇 in the post Jimmy: I'll ask 💀👑 if she's doing a couple's outfit if #2 answers we'll have ours about your brother Janis: 💡 Janis: can't accuse you of the same today Jimmy: [sends her whatever the answer is] Janis: [probably should still be together for the drama and we're not committing you to ages here so] Janis: 😒👌 Jimmy: you'll have even more fun ruining it Janis: yeah Janis: we will Jimmy: 💔 we can't steal the 🎤 off her with some MASSIVE announcement Janis: we could fake one but fake calling off the engagement is more hardcore than fake break up, remember that Jimmy: don't worry me Jimmy: every dickhead knows LDRs don't work Janis: neither does teen marriage Janis: not #goals either Jimmy: What then? 🏠🔑? 🐕? Janis: fucked if I know Jimmy: ✈️ tickets 👋 Janis: yeah Janis: that's never not Janis: and easy to fake Janis: easy for us, anyway Jimmy: 👍 Janis: where we fake going then Jimmy: Where do you wanna go? Janis: 🍸🛍💃☕✨ OBVS Janis: but we should say your hometown Janis: most believable Janis: awh factor is a bonus Janis: you'll have 📸s Jimmy: you sure? Jimmy: nowt #goals about being there Janis: the #trust is the #goals bit Janis: anyway, you aren't going to have an actual break from CG for a million years so Janis: only a long weekend, all we have to do is hide the whole time, what's not to 💕? Jimmy: I get it, this is 'cause I said that whatever we do is #goals Jimmy: challenge accepted Jimmy: I'll make it look 🍸🛍💃☕✨ Janis: Sure you can Janis: don't you think it's a good idea Janis: could go over dead cheap, no one is going to think it's a stretch Jimmy: it'll do Janis: no one'd give me sympathy for my fake miscarriage so Janis: yeah, have to Jimmy: know our audience Janis: any bitch with half a brain'd reckon it 🍀 to get away with the sob story not the unwanted brat Jimmy: don't need any fake kids to raise an' all, got enough on with the real ones Janis: exactly Janis: be well rude of me Jimmy: bag of sugar'd just disappear into my tea Jimmy: near enough a murder Janis: 💀 there's slow n painful and then there's that Jimmy: bit bored of the rumours going about but Jimmy: end up with some right weirdos in my DMs if we went with that Janis: you rate the ones you got now then? Jimmy: as harmless enough Jimmy: the only 💀💀💀 pact I want is the one we have Janis: right answer Jimmy: I'll give you loads more of them before tonight's over with Janis: I'll give you whatever you like Janis: can't promise it'll be what you wish for at midnight but Jimmy: what you're NOT a 🧠📖? Janis: I am, OBVIOUSLY Janis: just don't think I can get it done, soz Jimmy: ? Janis: 🤫 Janis: can't reveal my secrets Jimmy: convenient, that Janis: mm 😏 Jimmy: did fall for how mysterious you are so Janis: that's the story Jimmy: 💕 Janis: who HASN'T fallen for my mystery, that's the question Jimmy: if this were a film or something one of them dogs would've cocked his leg on you as that sent Janis: rude Janis: if it was a film, I'd bump into a 😒 man and he'd be so unimpressed and I'd be so 😳 Jimmy: that murderer from a bit ago popping back Janis: 🙏 Jimmy: come bump into me, there ain't a more 😒🌧 about Janis: *Bill trying to get the story back on track Jimmy: I promise you'll be SO 😳 Janis: you're Janis: distracting me Jimmy: you started it Janis: you asked for it Jimmy: I will if it means I can have it Janis: try it then Jimmy: please Janis: yep Janis: okay Janis: let me just Jimmy: just hurry up, please Janis: I am Janis: you don't need to keep saying it and killing me Jimmy: [a voice memo to keep saying it and killing her obvs] Jimmy: do I not? alright Janis: I hate you a bit Jimmy: only 🤏? Janis: only? Janis: this doesn't feel like only Jimmy: so how much do you really hate me? Janis: so fucking much Janis: you have no idea Jimmy: got loads of ideas, me Jimmy: done nowt but think about you since I got here Janis: taking it despite the obvious Jimmy: where you obviously are on the fuming scale, yeah Janis: the obvious fact that your job is boring and so are your customers Jimmy: and co-workers Janis: your girlfriend ain't working then Jimmy: bit rude to call Pete a lass, his hair ain't even that long Janis: not who I meant but I'd know if he was in you'd be 😍 and ignoring me Jimmy: who did you mean? Janis: idk her name Janis: hillary Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: loads of dickheads have called in sick, bit weird that Janis: so strange Janis: going about, that Jimmy: she's probably one, whoever you mean Janis: hannah? Janis: lucy? Janis: you know who I mean Jimmy: I don't Janis: ugh Janis: the one that gave me evils Jimmy: her? ain't seen her since then Jimmy: assumed you'd murdered her Janis: fuck around and find out Jimmy: how'd you do it then? Janis: made her drink some bleach instead of putting it on her head for once Janis: easy Jimmy: Bill must've been chuffed to bits Janis: his idea, if anyone asks Jimmy: should've used a dagger if you wanted him to take the fall Jimmy: #obsessed Janis: didn't float one to me in time Janis: his own fault Jimmy: part timer Janis: thought you were accusing me Jimmy: you're not a piss poor 👻 Janis: tah Janis: 💕 Jimmy: far as your 🧛 rating goes Jimmy: 🤐 Janis: see the evidence of that Janis: speaks for itself so Janis: 🖕 Jimmy: I don't have the teeth or owt and I've done as decent of a job Jimmy: that speaks for itself an' all Janis: speaks for how irresistible I am Jimmy: gonna have to stop calling you 💪🏆🥇 if this pissing about keeps on Janis: I told you I had to finish up THEN get to town Janis: cheek of you Jimmy: cheek of you to ever call me soft, more like Janis: steady on Jimmy: should give you the nicest 🧛🏆 Jimmy: hang on, I'll knock one up Janis: I'll be a laughing stock Janis: you should be dead/my servant by now Jimmy: that's what I'm saying Jimmy: sort your head out, mate Jimmy: 💀💀💀 me Janis: no Janis: 'cos you want it, that's nice Jimmy: I'll fake a will to live for a bit Jimmy: come on Janis: you want mean Janis: 😶 Jimmy: I want whatever you want, my dear Jimmy: that's what I'm here for Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: 🙄🙄 Janis: it'd be a nightmare being with someone like that Janis: actually Jimmy: do you reckon any dickheads are actually going on like that? Janis: yeah Janis: plenty Janis: happy wife happy life shit Jimmy: fucking hell Janis: my sisters bloke is like that Jimmy: @iantaylor8 he'd be able to crack onto so many more Sharons with that bollocks Janis: he would NEVER Janis: do what you like, drown out the nagging Jimmy: never be able to keep it up but he's only gotta get them within ⛓ distance of the sink Janis: 😬 bear it Jimmy: we all will, owt to avoid having to do the washing up myself, OBVS Jimmy: too much of a #lad for it Janis: keep walking if you reckon I will Janis: not in the contract Jimmy: not a kink 🔓 and there's nowt about it in Bill's script, you're alright, Jillian Janis: 👌 Janis: in other news, dropped the last dog off Jimmy: didn't drop a ☕ in my rush to 🙏🙌 hearing that but a shitter 🤹 might've done Janis: you know how far it is to mine now, you're holding off on the excitement, like Jimmy: stamina like mine, bloody have to 👴💔 Janis: 😏 Janis: put my outfit n shit in a bag so we can go from yours later? Jimmy: loads later, after we've been alone for AGES, yeah? Janis: yeah Janis: ruining their party/life ain't gonna take all night Jimmy: few minutes if that Janis: you got plans for the rest of our time, right Jimmy: What kind of question is that? Jimmy: you know I have Janis: I like having confirmation Janis: sue me Jimmy: you helping me apply ✨ is a good bit of it Janis: I don't know if I'm gonna want to go anywhere after that Jimmy: I'll carry you ✔ Jimmy: where the fuck does she live? Janis: safe to say too far for that Janis: ❌ Jimmy: [the most pouty selfie of all time] Janis: 🥺🥺 Janis: stop Janis: we'll take loads of breaks on the way, yeah? Jimmy: 🚬 Janis: something like that Jimmy: as addictive as that Janis: I Janis: wish your dad's car was still here Janis: and I'm going to get ready Jimmy: If my manager weren't, I'd bring you it Janis: never there 'til you don't want him to be 💩😁 Jimmy: what comes of not being a paddy round here is that, no luck Janis: 💔 poor boy Jimmy: 🎻🎻 Jimmy: least you like the accent, makes it a bit less 💔 Janis: it's on the list, no spoilers though, wait and 👀 what else is Jimmy: not even if I 🥺 again? Janis: [gonna have to stop this now, ugh, fuck you shit nan] Jimmy: ? Jimmy: [later when she obvs has not replied] Jimmy: really dedicated to no spoilers, you Jimmy: did your phone 💀💀💀 or what? Jimmy: [a bit later again] Jimmy: Oi Jimmy: if you're fake tanning without me, FUMING Jimmy: [and again] Jimmy: You alright? Jimmy: [even later] Jimmy: Where the fuck've you gone? Jimmy: I'll be done in a bit Jimmy: [and when he's done] Jimmy: answer me, dickhead or I'll 🚗 Jimmy: fuck's sake Jimmy: [later still] Jimmy: What's going on? Jimmy: this is doing my head in now Jimmy: just Jimmy: [even later later] Jimmy: tell me you're not 💀💀💀 Jimmy: please Jimmy: [later later later] Jimmy: or owt else Jimmy: 🗨  any bollocks Jimmy: [after whatever lies Grace has told because why not] Jimmy: She don't look enough like you to act as stand in Jimmy: as understudies go, I wouldn't bother next time if I were you Jimmy: don't know why I'm still bothering with this Jimmy: you're not Jimmy: 👍 Janis: [So clearly, going to be gone for a few days but be back before school starts] Jimmy: [do you wanna do that they don't see each other/he doesn't know she's back until school though or do that before as well?] Janis: [we were going to do the kid's birthday party thing I think?] Jimmy: [yeah that should definitely be as soon as she's back for max awkwardness I'm just wondering how he's gonna know she is lol so I thought maybe they'd have to do a school day first or something idk] Janis: [oh yeah, we could do it like that, that works, it's usually 4-6th is so] Jimmy: [cos like I think we did before that he saw her 🐕🏃 but I doubt she'd be taking dogs over the park opposite his house casually so school feels like the only place they would run into each other cos likewise not gonna go order a latte so unless she's on route to mcvickers and they run into each other that way because it's right by his house? but I feel like she'd think of that and maybe avoid there too] Janis: [we'll go with it, awkward] Jimmy: [the other question is has he covered for her/keep up the fake dating vibes or has there been zero content because obvs relevant either way] Janis: [up to you, as she did not ask this time, and clearly she can't have been posting anything] Jimmy: [yeah I'm not sure how much he'd be able to do onesided lol like he could've had pics and stuff that they haven't posted before etc but like if there's nothing from her I don't know how they'd account for that unless it's like a I lost my phone/ it's broken cliche but if he doesn't post anything peeps are gonna be like ???!! so which he'd wanna avoid so I could see him covering without being asked] Janis: [do your best boy, got faith, clearly the first thing we do when we get back is post something of our own] Jimmy: [plus it makes it more awkward when they do see each other in person because they'd have to keep up the fakery because there has been no lull far as the fans are concerned] Janis: [and we haven't actually done school fakery yet so, I hope it's a day you have a lot of classes apart lol] Jimmy: [do we wanna say they interact first in a class they don't have because like you said posting on socials again and we can awkwardly talk here or throw them straight into being together asap and having to navigate that?] Janis: [I think she would say something, tbh, not just show up like that] Jimmy: [okay then, have fun working out what you're gonna say boo] Janis: Sorry, didn't take my phone Janis: do catch up now Jimmy: I worked that out Janis: Yeah, Grace told you right Jimmy: ✔ Janis: 👍 stuff Janis: told her to Jimmy: you can crack on giving her a 🏆 Jimmy: she'll be chuffed Janis: Bit far Janis: but 🧠 like hers, glad she remembered Jimmy: lies and fake bollocks comes natural to her, that'll be why Janis: don't think she went to the party, actually Jimmy: got that in common Janis: Yeah Janis: shame but sure it was still shit Jimmy: yeah Janis: she looks 😢 rn Janis: and she's usually buzzing for psychics so Janis: something happened Jimmy: or didn't Janis: she'd be keeping it DL if she got dumped or her next victim didn't show so yeah Janis: possible Jimmy: might just be daddy didn't bring the right 🎁 back Jimmy: don't get more 💔 than your soulmate not actually understanding you Janis: no postcard Janis: makes sense Jimmy: I've done my 😭 that you didn't bother Janis: no 📱 no 🖊 Jimmy: no 🩸 Jimmy: #starving🧛problems Janis: not looking 💀 I don't think Jimmy: don't matter, there's ages before I have to give you 😍 IRL Jimmy: can practice on sir til then Janis: thank GOD Jimmy: find him at your brother's house? makes sense, ALWAYS going on about loving the gays Janis: Adds up, right? Jimmy: more than this lesson plan Jimmy: but that's saying nowt, sir's clearly had a rough go of 🎄 Janis: ain't we all Janis: no need to 😭 Jimmy: weren't about to get the 🎻s out, you're alright Janis: talking about him, anyway Janis: you're fine Jimmy: 👍 Janis: what's wrong? Jimmy: what are you going on about? Jimmy: I'm fine, you said it Janis: Alright Janis: you seem off Jimmy: not 😁 about school Jimmy: or still being here for it Janis: #therelatablemoodoftheday Jimmy: right Janis: Well I go home for lunch so don't worry about having to come find me then Janis: just english and detention, unavoidably so Jimmy: bit far, isn't it? Janis: I don't go home home, walk some dogs, if I have time, or go for a run Jimmy: just #bants mate Jimmy: even I've got that much of a grasp on where shit is Jimmy: and reading a clock Janis: a fair question, not a side-splitter Jimmy: weren't gonna have time to find you then any road, got my own home to go to and 🐕 to 🏃 Janis: 👌 Jimmy: 👌 in a bit then Janis: thought the lesson were shit Jimmy: know what you're like 🤓 be a bit rude not to leave you to crack on with yours Janis: well considerate Jimmy: 😘 Janis: can pretend we're doing the same dog walk Janis: in that vein Jimmy: [sends her some pics of Twix on a walk because Bobby would take like 4 million] Janis: sorted Janis: very cute Jimmy: save it for the caption, Joan Janis: I can do better than that Janis: not half-arsing it Jimmy: remembered your phone today, for starters Jimmy: 🏆 Janis: I didn't forget it, I just left it Jimmy: weren't pulling your weight either way Janis: yeah, I know Janis: no one does anything in January Janis: easy to get back on track now Jimmy: we've not been off track 'cause I ain't been off the clock Janis: alright, thanks Janis: I didn't tell you to Janis: or tell Grace to tell you that Jimmy: you didn't tell me fuck all Jimmy: and I didn't do it for you Janis: well I gave you a perfect excuse to not to Jimmy: I didn't fancy DMs full of lasses offering to take your place from the new year's 💋 onwards Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: 🙄 is right Janis: if I can't go out the city without them pouncing then clearly we're not doing enough Jimmy: can't control what they do Jimmy: more #goals we are, the more they wanna step into your role Janis: fucking hell, okay Mr Perfect Janis: then what? Jimmy: what did you think would happen? Jimmy: there's loads of fans that are just 👏👏🌹 an' all Jimmy: 👀🍿 Janis: what is the plan for if not that Janis: you'll not put off everyone but if it's not better then it's broken Jimmy: if you want out, piss off out Janis: I'm not the one complaining Jimmy: neither am I Jimmy: I'm catching you up with what I did and why Janis: Great Jimmy: can't win with you Jimmy: mardy when I say nowt and when I 🗨 Janis: You're the one in a mood Jimmy: piss off am I Jimmy: you want me to be Jimmy: going on and on about it Janis: yeah, that makes sense Jimmy: never said it did Jimmy: should've told you to sort your head out Janis: fuck off Janis: I'm good Jimmy: that's more on brand for you, babe Jimmy: on you go Janis: 👋 Jimmy: 😘 Janis: ha ha Jimmy: funny's more on brand for you an' all Jimmy: said it before Janis: what's your brand then? Jimmy: 😎🚬 Janis: yeah Janis: well you've not good a good grasp on mine so I'll decide, thanks Janis: got* Jimmy: got loads of time to do the ❌ while sir 🗨 and 😭 Janis: you don't need a list Jimmy: don't have one, so you reckon Janis: You've got the wrong ✔ Jimmy: got no ✔ about your branding Janis: don't matter Janis: only the fake Jimmy: if it don't matter why bother telling me I'm wrong? Janis: so you stop telling me what I am Jimmy: I get it, that bit matters Janis: if I've got to hear you chatting shit, yeah Jimmy: you only wanna have your go at it, I get that an' all Jimmy: 🚫👂 Janis: what have I said Jimmy: nowt but bollocks, that's the point Janis: You made it clear you don't wanna talk Jimmy: you started it Janis: I couldn't take my phone Jimmy: you could've made a tin can 📞 by now, you've had days Janis: I was a bit busy Jimmy: you know what I mean Jimmy: if you wanted to talk to me, you would've Janis: that's actually not true Jimmy: what your brother's not got a 📞 or 💻 Jimmy: it's just bollocks Jimmy: takes a minute to tell me you're alright yourself Janis: I didn't have a minute Janis: I clearly weren't at my brothers Janis: I told you that so you could put that out there if you didn't want to do the whole show yourself Jimmy: yeah 'cause that's what I'm bothered about Jimmy: fuck's sake Janis: I did my best not to leave you in the lurch Jimmy: I don't fucking care what the fake story is Janis: I'm sorry alright Jimmy: stop being a twat Janis: Charming Jimmy: it's not about how 💔🎻😭 it were or weren't for me Janis: what then Janis: go on Jimmy: you, dickhead Janis: what do you mean, me? Jimmy: if you need the list, you couldn't take your phone, didn't have a minute to grab one, weren't at your brothers, all shit you've said just now Jimmy: and before at the park you said you've stayed there Jimmy: I'm not thick, alright Janis: Shit happened Janis: it's not my mum Jimmy: you don't have to tell me, but there's no need to chat bollocks Janis: Don't change that I went either way Janis: I don't think you're thick Jimmy: just leave it out acting like you went on holiday Janis: alright Jimmy: alright Janis: I'm sorry Jimmy: I heard you up there Janis: I don't know what to say else Jimmy: I'll let you 🤐 Janis: but Jimmy: ? Janis: I still want to talk to you Jimmy: @ me you're got loads of that to do Janis: 👍 Janis: If you like Jimmy: if you like Jimmy: not me who's got writers block Janis: you've told me what you don't wanna hear, not what you do Jimmy: since when do I need to? Janis: That's fairly obvious Jimmy: never been my job to feed you lines Jimmy: @ Bill's 👻 for a bit of that if you need a hand Janis: don't have no problem with the fake story Janis: [do some socials, to that point] Jimmy: [just doing a socials sesh because it's simpler to be fake than handle how we really feel] Janis: [oh lads] Jimmy: 👍✔ Janis: tah Janis: means a lot Jimmy: not patting you on the back for doing your bit Janis: I can see the evidence right there Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: more like it Jimmy: piss off and do your physics 🤓 Janis: it's all 🏃 and 💥 Janis: nothing nerdy about that Janis: what are you doing? Jimmy: drying sir's eyes Jimmy: sure it means loads to him an' all Janis: I meant subject but pop off Janis: Lucas is going to be so upset Janis: CONSTANT job Jimmy: that'll be why I'm getting my practice is, gonna be so 😱😱😁 to FINALLY see him again, muscle memory'll have to do Jimmy: *in Janis: you'll do great Janis: 👸 Jimmy: 🥇 or nowt Janis: Lucky him Jimmy: DUH he deserves nowt but the best Jimmy: I'm the lucky one to have all this detention ⏲ Jimmy: ⭐🏆 Janis: you can ask for alone time then Janis: see if he goes for it Jimmy: doubt that Janis: Yay Jimmy: gonna have to work harder than that at saying it like you mean it Janis: I don't Janis: it's bullshit Jimmy: 💔 for him Janis: I've not thought about him all holiday Janis: almost forgot Jimmy: should've added more 💔💔💔 Jimmy: SO cruel, you Jimmy: he'll have 💭 of nowt else Janis: how he likes it Janis: no pain no gain Jimmy: all part of your plan, I get it, Judith Janis: don't always miss Jimmy: SUCH an athlete, I remember 🏀 Janis: it helps, I guess Jimmy: 🥅⚽️ Janis: alright Janis: 👍 Jimmy: take the compliment Janis: I don't want a compliment Janis: I'm trying to Janis: never mind Jimmy: it's not much of one with nowt to back it up still, I get that an' all Janis: sure you'll still be here when the season starts Jimmy: bit rude Janis: realistic Jimmy: 👌 Janis: it's like next week, calm down Jimmy: not sitting here fuming about owt you 💭 Janis: alright Jimmy: @iantaylor8 with your reassurances that we'll still be here, he'd be chuffed to hear 'em Janis: not my fault Jimmy: it ain't mine that you can't take a compliment Janis: you're not trying to compliment me, I'm not thick Jimmy: don't need to try for a start Jimmy: you're the one who's got catching up to do Janis: and I'm doing it Janis: what looks more suspicious than love bombing you the entire day Jimmy: nowt suspicious about that to our audience but alright Janis: fuck's sake Janis: [more socials] Jimmy: 👏👏🌹 Janis: piss off Jimmy: you Janis: happily Jimmy: in a bit then Janis: yep Jimmy: [sends her whatever drawings he did for the days she was gone because he said he'd do one every day bye] Janis: I get it Janis: yeah Jimmy: that you're so hard done by having to do owt that I thought I'd give you a hand with bollocks you can post, yeah Janis: no, that you've held that shit down, and I am grateful Janis: but as you said you don't care, and I had more pressing shit to deal with, I'm not going to say thank you forever Jimmy: I don't want you to say tah, not that dickhead Janis: just to hold it over me, you're THAT dickhead Janis: ? Jimmy: OBVS if that's how it's coming across that's how it is Janis: didn't say that Jimmy: what then? Janis: I'd rather you just came out and said what you want to say Janis: or didn't say anything if you've got nothing, whatever Janis: this is stupid Jimmy: you weren't having it when I had nowt to say Janis: because I stupidly thought you might have Janis: if that's actually the case then sorted Janis: no worries Jimmy: same page then, us Jimmy: 'cause what have you said? Janis: Sorry, multiple times, thanks as well Janis: and I've been trying to talk and you keep shutting me down with bullshit Jimmy: yeah alright, it's my fault that I don't wanna hear that bollocks Janis: how the fuck would you know what I'm going to say, you haven't let me say it Jimmy: it were you who said you've got nowt else but sorry Janis: believe whatever you like Jimmy: it's a copout for dickheads who don't wanna really 🗨 Janis: no it ain't Janis: if I owe someone an apology, I say it Jimmy: you might as well say piss off or leave it out, that's what it means, I wanna crack the fuck on as if this didn't happen Janis: I know I should've given you more warning Janis: and I wanted to, but I didn't Janis: so I'm not going to keep telling you all the things I wanted to do or should've Janis: what's the point Jimmy: the point is that you don't need to keep chucking me a word that's just shut up and take my excuses Jimmy: 'cause they aren't, you did what you had to Jimmy: more fake bollocks is only that, fuck all use to me or you Janis: I'm not being fake Janis: I only lied when I weren't here to make being honest worth something Jimmy: it were worth something before Janis: now it ain't Jimmy: that a ? or ! Janis: closer to a ? but you've already answered it Jimmy: the only question worth bothering with is if you're alright and you've still not answered that Janis: I'm here ain't I Jimmy: not what I asked though Jimmy: I'm here an' all, don't mean I'm 😁 about it Janis: that's the point Janis: how can I look like anything but a spoilt brat when you want to go just as bad but you can't Jimmy: Do you need somewhere to stay or what? Jimmy: while I'm stuck here you can Janis: no I can't Jimmy: you heard me just say you can Jimmy: not a bloody me vs you for who's more 🎻🎻 Janis: I've had worse new years Janis: if you can believe that Jimmy: me an' all 💔 as missing that party were Janis: yeah Janis: Grace didn't go either Janis: 💀👑💬 Jimmy: just come over if you need to, fuck's sake Janis: how's that gonna work then Janis: on any level Jimmy: you pick if you want the sofa, a bed or the trampoline and then you go 😴 on it Janis: alright, I've got a vague idea how sleeping works Janis: 1. your dad exists 2. so do your siblings 3. and you, soz to put you last as per Jimmy: 1. but he don't matter 2. they've been waiting for you to wheel your suitcases in since they heard about you existing  3. why would I offer if I were bothered about having you about Jimmy: had worse people under the same roof Jimmy: @ every Sharon Janis: 'cos that's the low bar I wanna step over Jimmy: I'll compare you to my ex if you'd rather Jimmy: what could be more #goals Janis: why else would the kids be expecting it Janis: good for that too Jimmy: 👍 Janis: anyway, you do realize we'd have to fake it like 24/7 Janis: I'll figure something out Jimmy: who for? Janis: 👦 Jimmy: he's not gonna @ anyone Jimmy: 🐕 might Janis: yeah he will Janis: on the tin can to say the wedding is SO off Jimmy: I'll let you in when he's 😴 if you're that 🙀🙀🙀 Janis: I'm not scared Jimmy: you know where I live, Jasmine, make up your own mind Janis: can I say thanks or will you get fuming again Jimmy: piss off Janis: thought so Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: I reckon my grandparents might let me stay Janis: I haven't spoke to them yet so we'll see, yeah Jimmy: alright Jimmy: give me a bell on the tin can 📞 Janis: 👌 Jimmy: or get Gracie to tell me, if that's your new favourite method Janis: 😒 Janis: come on Janis: needs must Janis: didn't have your number Jimmy: won't spread it about that you didn't memorise it soon as I gave it you Jimmy: be a right mixed message for the fans after all your tweets and that a bit ago Janis: I'll tattoo it on a digit I can stand to lose if you want Janis: made the emergency contact list a while back Jimmy: what's the plan, dramatically 🔪 the little one off next time you break a 🤞? Jimmy: very 🎭 Janis: alright Bill, put him back on Janis: I went off script, so shoot me Janis: make you feel better Jimmy: do what I can to rein him in but it looks like he's missed you Jimmy: or the back and forth at any rate Jimmy: just me and him's a bit Janis: glad someone has Jimmy: offered you a 🐕 and 👶's full attention but you didn't fancy it Janis: not what I said Janis: aren't meant to take someone up on their offer when it's too much Jimmy: weren't offering to chuck everyone else out and give you the 🏠 Jimmy: calm yourself down Janis: thank god Janis: makes it all alright Jimmy: you're making it weird Janis: how am I Jimmy: it's just somewhere to go Jimmy: nowt else Janis: yeah, I know Janis: I'm not saying it means anything more than it does Jimmy: it's too much were what you said Janis: like, you don't know what you're offering, not too much like I don't think it's 👍 that you did offer Jimmy: what about not thinking I were thick a bit ago? Janis: I don't Jimmy: then how do I not know what I'm going on about Janis: Okay Janis: if I need a place to crash, I'll make sure I 💬 you first Jimmy: 👍 Janis: What are we going to do about Lucas though Janis: that's what's really important Jimmy: what do you wanna do? Janis: 🤔 Janis: it's tricky, don't want to extend the time spent Janis: but we need to make it as 😈🔥 for him Jimmy: we can hack 💀👑's 🎄 don't get more 😈🔥 than that Janis: ugh, should've got him a present Jimmy: still time Janis: you got art today? Janis: make him a bowl for his keys Jimmy: 💔 I don't do woodwork, could've knocked him up a tie rack Janis: missed a trick Janis: I've got bio Janis: could...bring him a dissected frog? Jimmy: could ALWAYS make him a ☕ Janis: you wanna be his favourite, I get it Jimmy: easiest way to get the ☠ in Jimmy: wanna be Bill's fav forever Janis: you are stuck with him for that long Janis: and 👔🏫 breath is already that bad so go for it Jimmy: what if he comes back as a 👻 an' all? Janis: he is bitter and can't let go of the ex Janis: tracks Janis: let me drain him Jimmy: I can't, he'll taste so bad Jimmy: not that fuming at you Janis: good to know Janis: I'm trying to remember what gets him 😤 😠 😡 🤬 on the scale Janis: beyond seeing me RUINED Jimmy: 🗨 Janis: yeah Janis: 🔊 and 📱 Jimmy: I'll do you some paper planes to go with your boat Janis: 🥇🤡 things Janis: that will piss him off, especially with your aim Jimmy: should practice my 🤹 you're right Jimmy: but there's nowt wrong with my aim, happens to every 👴 when they have a piss, that, shut up Janis: makes me want to move in right away Janis: 😏 Jimmy: job done Janis: your poor sister Janis: it's probably the only plus to having majority sisters Jimmy: don't @ her Jimmy: she ain't a fan of  🎻 Janis: bit weird Janis: if anyone is in her DMs chatting about piss she needs to 🚨 Jimmy: *🥊 Janis: that too Janis: goes without saying Jimmy: goes off the fuming scale an' all Janis: yeah, I know Janis: wasn't taking the piss Jimmy: funny Janis: ugh Janis: shut up Jimmy: 😏 Janis: you're an idiot Jimmy: still waiting for my 🏆 you keep saying it Janis: if you can piss into it I'll be impressed Jimmy: easy Janis: then I'll find you one Janis: don't do metalwork 💔 Jimmy: no point making you promise if you won't cut your finger off so 💔 right back Janis: when did I say I wouldn't? Jimmy: ages ago Janis: I was the one who suggested it Jimmy: sounds fake, that Janis: I told you I've got the needle, you bring the ink Jimmy: give us something to do that ain't writing whatever lines Lucas wants to read back when we've pissed off Janis: I dread to think how close to the bone he's gonna go Janis: I MUST NOT BE A MASSIVE SLAG Jimmy: closer than me with that needle Jimmy: don't tell Bill but I might rip off that film and write Lucas a 💌 Janis: 👸 Jimmy: *😎 Janis: 🤓 Jimmy: that's you Janis: fuck off is it Jimmy: fuck off is it me Janis: 🏃 is me and I don't even want to be Jimmy: I forgot about him Jimmy: you can have that Janis: yeah, exactly, dickhead Janis: he's boring and he's got daddy issues Jimmy: I'll be the mute lass who you only 😍 when she takes her eyeliner off Janis: fits Janis: what you'd look like if you were a girl/one of your coworkers Jimmy: piss off Janis: tell me I'm wrong, 'cos you'd be wrong Jimmy: I'm saying nowt to you, dickhead Jimmy: 🤐 Janis: more 😍 than the gobby ginger, suppose Jimmy: If I leave it out with the dandruff desk 🌨 for my 🎨 Janis: 🤢 Jimmy: stop at the sugar sandwich Janis: That's alright Janis: know you're a fat bitch Jimmy: might start a fake pregnancy rumour but I'll make sure they know it's my 🥧🥔🍺👶 sharpish Janis: so not only am I lesbian, also got a dick Janis: 👌💡 Jimmy: Oi, never said it were yours, sir can step up and be a man after he's sacked Janis: well that's just rude Janis: stop pushing me out the picture dickhead Jimmy: you left, Jules Jimmy: we were all 💔🎻😭 Janis: I'm literally right here Jimmy: where's 💀👑? Jimmy: #scaleupdates Janis: 😣 hurting her head trying to work out why my sister didn't show Janis: 🤯 when she invents the story to tell the rest of the gals Jimmy: alright, and where's the physics classroom? Jimmy: I've got today's 🎨 for you, didn't bother to draw it on my desk so you might as well have it Janis: [classroom #] Janis: would've been gas if you picked up and stole the desk but she'll still be 😭 😤 Jimmy: hang on, I'll re-do it Janis: you can still give me the paper one Janis: as well Jimmy: for when some dickhead draws all over your face Janis: I don't know about that Janis: I just want it Jimmy: okay Janis: though I do look forward to seeing the charming contributions from the fans and the haters alike, obvs Jimmy: 😈 Janis: so many 🍆s Jimmy: [my idea is he's drawn her sleeping and adorable curled up on the sofa with Twix or something because of that bit of the convo so however long it would take him to redraw that on a desk and then he's bringing it for a casual desk swap lol hey everyone] Janis: [everyone SHOOKETH, the teacher like hello??? we'd wanna kiss him so bad but settle for a hug hun] Jimmy: [likewise his teacher and classmates ?? where you going boy] Janis: [the casual drama y'all have caused, love to see it] Jimmy: [that hug would be everything though] Janis: ['til you get separated for stealing tables and defacing them lollollol but seriously SO intense] Jimmy: [should we put him isolation for a bit to mean they literally can't see each other until detention and ramp up the tension?] Janis: [definitely] Jimmy: [we'll have other chances to do awks shared lessons I'm sure] Janis: [naturally, this makes better drama] Jimmy: [soz not soz to Mr Lucas for that vibe in detention] Janis: [you'll probably love it perv lmao] Janis: you got a spare 🔑? Janis: I'll let your dog out at lunch time Jimmy: [different locations where he's hidden them so Cass can't find and deliberately lose them all how she do] Jimmy: Tah Janis: fair's fair Janis: I'll 📸 so it's #goals Jimmy: 💀👑's story can't, she don't have enough fans Jimmy: hatewatch'll only get you so far Janis: [OBVIOUSLY publicly answering the DMs of what happened because we know the fans would and like OMG LET ME SET THE RECORD STRAIGHT 'cos probably getting so over-dramaticized as it do] Janis: I've got it Janis: [publicly name and shame Ella with an anon she clearly wrote like 👀 you] Jimmy: I forgot #2 were about Janis: didn't we all Janis: she survived xmas 😱 maybe they got her to eat a sprout Jimmy: 🤞 it were a 🥄 of horseradish Janis: if her oesophagus wasn't burning before Janis: #festivebants Jimmy: cracker pull heart attack or nowt, tah hun Janis: 👴💔 Janis: literally Jimmy: speaking of, this school got a nurse or just the therapist? Janis: think the receptionist knows first aid and that's your lot Janis: why? Jimmy: probably not 💡🥇 to chuck desks about Jimmy: but I'll live Janis: soz to hear that Janis: you can't really tell 'em, it'd be less of a decent excuse to go home and more of a let's talk about home 🙄 Janis: hang on Jimmy: @ Helena Jimmy: fact she ain't in here for dealing is a pisstake Janis: but actually though Janis: we've got PE next Janis: I'll get you some Jimmy: not just gonna let you in here, we're too starcrossed Janis: I can scuff a blister or two under the door as I walk past Janis: I'll just tell you when I'm gonna so you can walk to the bin or whatever the fuck Jimmy: 😍😍😍 Janis: you be alright 'til then? Janis: she's too thick for physics and be a bit obvious if I run in and snatch her bag so Jimmy: lesson's near over Jimmy: dunno what took me longer, your hair or the 🐕's Janis: so nice, you Jimmy: yeah, I know Jimmy: loads of lads would've found a lass with shorter hair to be their muse Jimmy: or left it unfinished Janis: you're SO brave Janis: and I've got no scissors to hand so Janis: have to stay for now Jimmy: meant to be me being psychologically fucked by the isolation, girl Jimmy: no need to do yourself a wonky fringe Janis: 😂 Janis: as if Jimmy: stick with your Q&A Janis: you sent a question in? Janis: stay tuned Jimmy: 'course I have Janis: how 😍😍😍 have you been? Jimmy: you tell me Janis: [go answer that for the #fans] Jimmy: [obvs send her another one cos that bitch] Janis: [flirtbackandforthletsnotlie] Jimmy: [we've got a LOT of feelings but also walls up now honey, gotta keep it 'safe' and 'fake' lol lol] Janis: [ah the joys] Jimmy: these 💊s gonna make me 😴 or what? Janis: if you're lucky Janis: they shouldn't knock you out proper though Jimmy: that were your luck, Jenna Janis: know yours ain't as good Jimmy: 🌧🌧🎻 Janis: still get your head down Janis: only thing isolation's good for Jimmy: you done 🗨 to me then? Janis: nah Janis: not got your 💊s yet have you Jimmy: I meant when I have Janis: what do you want? Jimmy: ? Janis: do you want me to stop talking to you? Jimmy: that's what I just asked you Janis: not really Jimmy: so what are you telling me to 😴 for? Janis: because you're in pain Janis: and must be even more bored than I am Jimmy: got no dickheads doing my head in, I'm #thriving Janis: true Janis: PE is going to be a joy Jimmy: I get that it goes against how 💪🏆🥇 you are but Jimmy: just don't go Janis: where will I go instead Jimmy: you know where the spare 🔑 is Jimmy: take you one sec to 🏃 there from here Janis: bit rude to you Janis: I go and have an actual 😴 Jimmy: the 🐕'll never let you Janis: but it might be 🏑 Janis: go for the shins Jimmy: I get it, you don't wanna recreate my 🎨 Jimmy: pressure, that Janis: don't wanna be a bad imitation, of course Jimmy: if you're not up to the challenge Janis: 'course I am Janis: cheek Jimmy: prove it Janis: fine Janis: got to get your stash first Jimmy: 👍 Janis: [do that and get going 'cos you know he wants to talk to you and so you obvs wanna talk to him too so we is] Jimmy: 🥇 Janis: only need 1 at a time, remember Janis: or you will 😴 Jimmy: alright Janis: trust, they're good Jimmy: I remember you rated them when you stopped denying they were needed Janis: weren't gonna leave poor Helena is pain for the craic purely Jimmy: oh soz, didn't realise you rated her an' all Jimmy: chuffed for you that you've got a new best mate Janis: 😒 Janis: fuck off Janis: just don't want her to @ me with her back surgery bill Jimmy: she a 🧠 📖 an' all? Jimmy: SO much in common you two lasses Janis: fake date her then Janis: never catch her walking your dog Jimmy: with her back? do mine in trying to get her to do owt Janis: exactly, stop trying to palm me off onto her, she's shit Janis: and fakes injuries, which is #gal behaviour Jimmy: Bit late for Ella to crack onto her for #inspo Janis: probably say she's got back problems 'cos she's a fatty Janis: can't see it being 💕 Jimmy: 💔💔 Janis: alright, cupid Janis: bit early for that holiday Jimmy: can't help being a romantic Jimmy: written in the script Janis: some would call it hopeless Janis: 🎻🎻 Jimmy: @ Bill with your criticisms, sweetheart Janis: not a criticism Janis: just observation, babe Jimmy: meant to be 😴🐕💕 you Janis: let me get in the door and walk the fucker Janis: why you want me to go sleep so bad? Jimmy: just open the door for it, don't matter Janis: It's alright Janis: literally my job Jimmy: 🐕 won't pay you Janis: freebie Janis: she'll tell her mates Jimmy: what mates are them? even our kid's toy one reckons she's a twat Janis: 😱 Janis: you bastard Jimmy: a lass who don't know her place, under this roof, she's got nowt but enemies, OBVS Janis: why you want me to come over Janis: one on side Jimmy: that'll be it Janis: 🐶📱 Jimmy: 💕 Janis: she's sweet really, just needs putting in her place Janis: sorry to out your lack of skills @iantaylor8 but multiple Sharons for a reason babe Jimmy: not something I'll get a 🏆 either Jimmy: you'll have to do it Janis: it's not hard, the basics like Janis: and you won't have to be all 😡 🤬 to keep it up either Jimmy: don't sound like me, that Janis: @iantaylor8 Janis: if the impression was anything to go by Jimmy: it were 🥇 Jimmy: but if you're gonna do owt that'll make his life easier Jimmy: you know how the rest of the sentence goes Janis: I dunno if I'm so 🥇 I can get her to be 😇 for you lot and shit in his shoes still Janis: but I'll give it a go Jimmy: 🤝 Janis: just 'cos she's 😱 of him, don't necessarily mean she respects him most Jimmy: Bringing back all those memories of the good old days with my mum for him Jimmy: be a bit awkward when she pisses off an' all Jimmy: brb mate just going down the park Janis: all women are the same Janis: definitely don't look inward Janis: my dad and all his bitches and even more brats Janis: entrapment, every time Jimmy: not having a game of mousetrap, you prick, not that he's about for #familygamenight to get that top bants Janis: but he really TRIED to be there, apparently Janis: if he's that shit at it he's gotta have that many go's, not worth fuck all really Jimmy: won't 🤞 on meeting his 👻 Jimmy: have to give a shit for there to be unfinished business Janis: why bother when you can get a woman to do that for you and all Jimmy: if only I'd met Pete sooner to palm all ☕🎨 off onto Janis: If only we'd ALL met Pete sooner Janis: 💔 Jimmy: Oi Janis: what Janis: I won't distract him from doing all your work 🤞 Jimmy: he's mine, back the fuck off Janis: that's how it is Janis: some mate Janis: and he's currently miss things so race is on Jimmy: the kind of mate who stops you 1. making a twat of yourself 2. getting a slaggy rep Jimmy: you're welcome, babes Janis: so you get to be the slag of the group? Janis: convenient Janis: jokes on you 'cos we all are some of us are just less obvious about it, SWEETIE Jimmy: DUH you were the massive virgin Lucas were grooming Jimmy: keep up with your own #narrative, hun Janis: fuck off Jimmy: as fake nice goes, not your best Janis: yeah well Janis: you ever actually heard them? Janis: pretty shit too Jimmy: can't deny that Janis: neither can they much longer Janis: can't wait 'til the big one snaps Jimmy: who's your 💰 on? Jimmy: Tammy's all 😭  tiktok mimes, be there til the bitter end Janis: be nice if #2 rose up and took her place as 👑 Janis: Bill would be thrilled Janis: probably Asia though, by accident Jimmy: 🗨 in the wrong chat one too many times Janis: exactly Janis: her next boyfriend is an actual undercover cop Janis: 🚨 Jimmy: #plottwist Jimmy: Oh Bill Janis: he don't know it's a bit 😬 to get a 15 year old with a 45 year old now, let him off Jimmy: WHAT?! IT IS! OMG Janis: you know your 💕 for Lucas is forbidden, babes Janis: that's what makes it 😍 DUH Jimmy: but not OURS! everyone's obvs gonna get #overit after a bit of murder Jimmy: 👴💔 Jimmy: fuming there's no happy ending coming WTF Jimmy: ???!! Janis: #awks Jimmy: least this 💊 is good Janis: 😁 Jimmy: I should be fake dating Helena, you're right Janis: now you know Jimmy: soz but 👋 Janis: at least make it convincing Jimmy: steady on, need my 🐕 walked first Janis: you can pay for it next time Jimmy: still mates rates though? Janis: is it? Jimmy: that's my question Jimmy: you gonna be too 💔😭🎻 about me and her or what? Janis: Helena, with her back problems? Janis: I think you 2 are made for each other 👴👵 Jimmy: 😁 Janis: SO happy for you Jimmy: Tah, Jolene Janis: 👍 Janis: enjoy your meds Jimmy: loving being able to breathe, like Jimmy: and thank god, 'cause who knows if she'll fancy a 💀💀💀 pact Janis: always a bonus, like Janis: you can convince her Jimmy: dunno about that Jimmy: only as inspiring as my muse, me Janis: a girl with a death wish is so hard to come by Jimmy: have to have the 💊💊💊 as my muse instead of her Janis: bit played out but what ain't Jimmy: yeah Janis: I'm glad they've helped Jimmy: how long'll it be for? Jimmy: easy 🎯for Lucas like this Janis: they've got better staying power than your average paracetamol Janis: but take the other one tonight and you should sleep well too Janis: I reckon GP might give you like a weeks worth, if you asked Jimmy: 👌 Jimmy: me and the 🐕 if you've knackered it Janis: she's a 👶 Janis: more stamina Jimmy: how old do you reckon it is? Janis: you don't know? Janis: still under a year, definitely Jimmy: how would I? Janis: whoever your dad got her off should've told him, at least Janis: people lie sometimes though, you're not meant to take them before they're 8 weeks, at least Jimmy: might've, don't mean he's told me Janis: if he comes back for lunch I'll ask Janis: providing he doesn't 💀 me Jimmy: can't promise the 🐕'd save you Jimmy: but I would Janis: for yourself Jimmy: he don't get to 💀💀💀 you, no other dickhead does Janis: no one else Janis: that's the 🤝 Jimmy: ✔ Janis: better tell Helena Jimmy: not @'d her owt yet, it's alright Janis: let me finish my Q&A first Janis: look a bit stupid otherwise Jimmy: [obviously gonna send her more because we're in our feelings] Janis: [run to the 'fake' hens] Jimmy: [do we wanna bring up the kids party before the detention TENSION or after?] Janis: [ooh, hmm...I think after?] Jimmy: [break the inevitable awkward silence after how intense that'll be, makes sense] Janis: [and you'll have more of a reason to do it, like we KNOW you would anyway but it is flimsy at best so we'll give you that] Jimmy: [it's just tricky rn cos I want you to talk til then but don't wanna break the awks lol, oh lads] Janis: [it'll still be awks 'cos you've only seen each other so briefly actually IRL] Jimmy: [it's okay boy you can still have your guard up even if you accidentally get too feelsy] Janis: [we know the vibes] Jimmy: [not like it's never been a headfuck before or you've never gone back on anything so] Janis: [or won't have to again] Jimmy: [the tea] Janis: [do you wanna chat more or skip a bit?] Jimmy: [I don't mind if we carry on cos we've slayed it so far] Jimmy: Get Ian to make you a 🥪☕ if he's knocking about Janis: He ain't so far Janis: but I know where the kettle is Jimmy: 🐕'll have just the one sugar Janis: she don't need no more Janis: even after this epic game of fetch Jimmy: if your 💪 hurts I've still got this 💊 you can have Janis: ha ha Janis: save your breath and meds boy Janis: I'm good Jimmy: I get it, you don't want me to @ Helena for no more Janis: maybe I don't wanna go through her bag again Jimmy: long as I don't bring you any more desks, won't you need to Janis: 💔 Jimmy: we're all 💔 Janis: could've had a career in removals Jimmy: you could be a careers adviser Janis: wow, my dream Janis: thanks so much!!! Jimmy: get to hang about the staff room, know you'll love that Jimmy: 👔🏫💕 Janis: the happy ending we're all 💭 of Jimmy: there you go then Jimmy: one of us'll get one Janis: you'll be well happy with your new missus Janis: 🥴 from all the 💊 Jimmy: not planning to use 'em for 💔 Jimmy: or get in that many 🥊 Janis: yeah Janis: but Helenas pretty annoying Janis: you'll need 'em Jimmy: never spoken to her before, no need to start now Jimmy: 💪🔇 type, me Janis: she doesn't know any sign Jimmy: good Janis: bit rude to teach me some and then ❌ me Jimmy: lessons don't have to finish an' all Janis: I will have to talk to Bobby Janis: after the wedding of the century, like Jimmy: and you said your cousin might need teaching Janis: that too, actually Janis: if nothing else she can call her mother a shithead Jimmy: don't need either of us for that, Libi'll sort it Jimmy: I'll still knock you some lessons now though, got nowt else on Janis: talk me out of all my roles, it's fine Jimmy: 🤐 Jimmy: how old's she? Janis: erm, gonna be 4 soon, I think Janis: she's never spoke Jimmy: I'll start with the proper basics, asking for owt she wants Janis: yeah, anything would be helpful Janis: got to be frustrating as hell Janis: thanks, by the way Jimmy: [sends her videos of him signing and pictures he's drawn of the hand gestures etc all that good stuff] Janis: they let you do that instead of Irish, yeah? Jimmy: if it were that easy it'd be a pisstake Janis: obviously, I mean that's cool though Janis: more useful than Irish, any rate Jimmy: you should ask if you can swap Jimmy: love's young dream Janis: yeah right Janis: they'd love that Jimmy: I get it, you're worried you'd look a twat not keeping up, but I won't let that happen Jimmy: not the kind of mate I am Janis: just don't reckon any teacher has got the goal of us spending more time together Jimmy: don't have a teacher, it's all online bollocks Jimmy: no other dickhead's got the same set of excuses as me Jimmy: or the new boy ✨ obvs Janis: the handicap of being English, yeah Janis: I hate Irish, so I could ask Janis: dunno if they'd go for it Janis: but 🤷 Jimmy: what were it you said about the shots you don't take? Janis: 🖕 Janis: deserved maybe but 🤐 Janis: you don't just wanna get out of teaching me yourself, by any chance? Jimmy: I like teaching you Jimmy: don't mean I'm any good at it Jimmy: got no coffee breath or shit ties Janis: it is essential to be 🥇 Janis: but you aren't bad at it Jimmy: do have enough sob stories to go on about, all sir were bothering with, we might be alright Janis: you're good Janis: showing Libi too Jimmy: What do you wanna 🗨? Jimmy: I'll show you Janis: Put me on the spot Jimmy: 🤏 Jimmy: but go on Janis: I could ask you to sign anything right now Janis: only got the 🐕 for company, here Jimmy: in isolation here, challenge accepted Janis: who they got 'keeping an eye' on you? Jimmy: Ms Burke Janis: they would Janis: slip her a pill if she manages to notice fuck all then 👍 Jimmy: she's already sedated herself, you can crack on with your request Janis: alright 🤔 Janis: how many go's do I get? Jimmy: how much do you wanna say? Janis: how do you say 'loads' Jimmy: [send that] Janis: [send it back like ta-da] Janis: what about 'fuck all'? Jimmy: [send that] Janis: [do that, swear words are always funny lol] Jimmy: [and always the first thing you have to find out yourself cos teachers don't want you to know] Janis: how would I say Janis: 'Janis is the best at everything' Jimmy: [signs it calling her a bighead instead but cos he's saying it at the same time she obvs knows even if he hasn't taught her before which he might have] Janis: oi Janis: bloody rude Janis: how am I meant to trust your teaching skills? Jimmy: 😏 Jimmy: [do it properly though boy] Jimmy: I've just fingerspelt your name, Jules Jimmy: your sign name depends if you're talking to our kid or me Janis: might be handy to know my real name Janis: so I don't look like a total muppet Jimmy: [draws out the alphabet and sends it like see if you can do it] Janis: [give it a go, gal, do his as well] Jimmy: [show her how to do whatever adorable sign name Bobby has for you jimothy because you're his fave person ever and he would've thought of it as a bub] Janis: bless Janis: far as nicknames go Jimmy: [show her Ian's because it'd be so lowkey shady, casual bub sass] Janis: 😂 Janis: I'll deffo use that Jimmy: [show her yours for him which is obvs even shadier like that's the one I use] Janis: he must LOVE that Jimmy: about as much as when I call every Sharon mum Jimmy: would call him worse if I weren't mostly signing to a 6 year old Janis: Not your fault you're confused, tbh Janis: you can get out the really obscene shit now if you like, I won't clock half of it anyway Jimmy: [does obvs but without saying it too so she and Ms Burke can't clock it] Jimmy: probably meant to use the names our kid does any road as he's the deaf one but Jimmy: so creative, me Janis: got to make sure he keeps practising, yeah Janis: not the kid, obvs Janis: also some of that looked like you was having some kind of seizure, how gone is miss rn Jimmy: she'll be 😴 before either of us Janis: 🙄 and we actually need it Jimmy: you @ your nan yet or what? Jimmy: done some lessons for Libi an' all Jimmy: [send that through too] Janis: nah Janis: it's gonna be a whole conversation and I'm meant to be 😴 Janis: but I will show Libi those, and NOT the ones before, note to self Janis: needs no help with her filthy language Jimmy: 🎅 is still #SHOOK Janis: too #SHOOK to add her to the naughty list Jimmy: 😏 Janis: show me how to say some goals shit then Jimmy: [does] Janis: [do that back] Janis: what about 'I missed you' Jimmy: you did mean #goals, yeah? not Jimmy: I dunno 🤓 flirting Janis: you don't know when I'll need to flirt with a deaf nerd Janis: go on Jimmy: [show her] Janis: [do that with purpose hen] Jimmy: [we're all just in our feels trying not to die rn] Janis: show me something you wanna teach me Jimmy: [show her how to say please because there are so many saucy but also feelsy uses and connotations for that] Janis: [do it loads of times, like could be #bants could not be] Jimmy: you're good at that one Janis: 😇 Janis: manners are well important Jimmy: what about Jimmy: [do 'stay' because of course we are] Janis: [do it and combine the two 'cos duh] Jimmy: There you go, that deaf nerd ain't going nowhere til you're done with him Janis: 🤞 Jimmy: 🤞 Janis: have to 🔎 one first but hey Janis: prepared now Jimmy: 👍 Janis: bet that's something you could do, too Janis: teach that 💰 Jimmy: how many jobs do you reckon I've got time for, girl? Janis: I know Janis: I want to be able to move out as soon as I can though Janis: don't you? Jimmy: soon as I can ain't as soon as you Janis: right Janis: he's 6 Janis: rough Jimmy: it don't matter what I want Jimmy: or how 🎻🎻🎻 it is Janis: you reckon he'd ever let you have him, even a bit earlier Janis: after uni, or whatever Jimmy: only if it suited him Janis: yeah Janis: that's what you want? if you've got any say, hypothetically Jimmy: both of them away from that twat Janis: it gets your sentence down to 6 years Janis: instead of 12 Janis: still more than the 3 I'm 🤞 for but Janis: who knows where you'll be, might be somewhere less shite Jimmy: ⚰ Janis: no good to either of 'em then Jimmy: not meant to be my job though Janis: I know Janis: don't matter though does it Janis: like you said Jimmy: only to the orchestra Janis: he's not gonna be the 'kick you out at 18' type is he Janis: not whilst you're useful to him? Jimmy: answered that yourself, Jasmine Janis: stop him getting a permanent Sharon Janis: that's your main job then Jimmy: stops himself Janis: true Janis: loads of desperate bitches Janis: 🐶💕 Jimmy: he'll kick me out if my sister ever stops being as fuming as him Jimmy: makes for a shit babysitter Janis: yeah Janis: get that Janis: probably alright on that score Janis: if it ain't genetic, it's well ingrained Jimmy: tah for not saying hormonal like I thought you were gonna Janis: if I was alright with throwing that about, may as well join shit nan's church group and call it a day Jimmy: 💔 for the hot priest you won't Janis: she might see if he's alright to do an exorcism Jimmy: far as date nights go Jimmy: I'm chuffed with that Janis: don't remember inviting you to shout bible verses at me Janis: chuck some holy water about Jimmy: but I wouldn't miss it Jimmy: have to grab my long lens if nowt else Janis: 😏 Janis: keep you posted on if I'm saving my soul or nah Jimmy: 💌 Jimmy: my 📷s are in my room if you fancy a go Janis: fun Janis: and you're sure you've left nothing incriminating out, yeah Jimmy: sure I'm not bothered Janis: and I'm not a snoop Janis: ask my customer's owners Jimmy: chuck us their @s Janis: um Janis: soz, line went dead there Jimmy: convenient, that Janis: con- what- hello??? Jimmy: alright, dickhead 🏆 Janis: thank you Janis: 🙇 Jimmy: steady on Jimmy: never said I were that impressed Janis: disgusting Janis: get you in for the next exorcisms at this rate Jimmy: his and hers Janis: so #goals Janis: though she'll hear nothing of it Janis: you're a LAD and can do whatever you like Jimmy: *good 🙏 lad now Janis: so you say Jimmy: depending who's ? Janis: me, dickhead Janis: who else Jimmy: you know the answer, dickhead Janis: sign it if you're embarrassed Jimmy: piss off, nowt does Jimmy: you know that an' all Janis: 🤘 that Janis: ain't it Jimmy: what? Janis: 😈=🤘 Jimmy: right Janis: could be calling you 🐮 suppose but context Jimmy: 🐐🔪 bit of a step down for us Janis: so immature Janis: 👶🩸 or bust Jimmy: sounds like you're asking me on another date, that Janis: and? Jimmy: and alright, I'll find and kill a 👶 with you, obvs Janis: 😍 Janis: you always know just what to say Jimmy: 🥇 or nowt Janis: [does the thing about her being the best again] Jimmy: exactly Janis: [do his name like you too] Jimmy: dunno about giving me 🏆 for everything Jimmy: won't get out this door Janis: much as miss would love that Janis: 🤐 Jimmy: it's Ms, get it right Jimmy: Dead mysterious, her Janis: will not respect her pronouns, soz Jimmy: til she keeps a more decent bottle stashed none of her choices are valid, I get it, pisshead Janis: look, if she wants to let the married teachers know she's damaged enough to cheat, that's her lookout Janis: but miss and sir saves remembering their names and they need to deal Jimmy: 😂 Janis: please call me Ms Cavante from now on, tbh Jimmy: bit of roleplay Janis: 🤏 Janis: just gonna set you homework Janis: be dead disappointing Jimmy: know what you're like 🤓 nowt else were expected Janis: 😣 oi Jimmy: change my mind Jimmy: if you reckon I'm wrong Janis: easy Jimmy: to say Janis: wait and see Janis: Detention Jimmy: have to wait and see what ends up on my 📷 an' all Janis: yeah Janis: you can give me critique but Janis: you won't wanna Jimmy: make me sound like a right dickhead Jimmy: not working for the 🎨 department Janis: you only wanna be student? Janis: but you LOVE moonlighting as a professional 45 year old Jimmy: just don't wanna dress like miss for the roleplay, won't do nowt for either of us Janis: 😂 Janis: please don't Janis: I've left my fringe alone Jimmy: 🚫✂ Jimmy: not to use on yourself any road Janis: 😏 Janis: do you think that's an appropriate way to talk to a teacher? Jimmy: yeah? Jimmy: that'll be why I'm in isolation though Janis: yeah, with MS Burke Janis: not me Jimmy: if we get rid of Lucas, detention is Janis: if I come back now before PE is over, I'll have time to prepare something Janis: a distraction Jimmy: did you have your 🥪☕? Janis: why? Jimmy: what do you mean why? Jimmy: before you go Janis: I'm good, don't worry Jimmy: weren't what I asked Janis: you don't need to ask Janis: I know how to get myself lunch Jimmy: you don't need to be a dickhead Janis: you neither Jimmy: I'm not Janis: alright then Jimmy: 👍 Janis: I washed up, it's fine Jimmy: told you, the rubber gloves do nowt for me either Jimmy: not a #kinkunlocked Janis: not trying to be but I've not trashed your house if that's what you reckon Jimmy: what would I reckon that for? Janis: Dunno, what it sounds like though Jimmy: 🙄 Jimmy: not gonna do the 🐕 out of a job, she don't pull her weight as is Janis: she's asleep at the minute but no promises you won't come home to a disaster from her obvs Jimmy: 🤞 Janis: say night to her Jimmy: [signs it and sends that] Janis: she got that Janis: said night babe Jimmy: 💰 on you translating that one wrong Janis: um, you heard Janis: basically a dog whisperer Jimmy: save it for the fans Jimmy: that's the fake bollocks they 😍 Janis: how dare you Janis: not out here saying you make a shit cuppa Jimmy: 'cause I don't and you or her ain't that good at lying Janis: my biggest job atm is literally lying how am I not Jimmy: not about ☕💕 Janis: 😂 Janis: you've really taken personal offence yeah Jimmy: any northerner would do Janis: 💔💔 Janis: soz for disrespecting your culture Jimmy: you're not Jimmy: 😒🌧 Janis: I am Janis: so serious Jimmy: 🖕 Janis: 🥺🥺 Jimmy: that a dog whisperer secret? behave like the 🐕? Janis: rude Janis: just 'cos it's not racial don't compare me to a dog Jimmy: rude that you don't wanna be like your new best mate Janis: you're the one that wants a new bestie Jimmy: bollocks Janis: @ Helena Jimmy: @ her 💊s Janis: I can get you 💊s Jimmy: and I could get them myself if I were that bothered Janis: why are you getting rid of me then Jimmy: never said that Jimmy: to you or Helena Janis: don't Janis: we're still mates, aren't we Jimmy: what kind of question is that? Janis: I fucked up Janis: not very mates #goals Jimmy: I'm not 💔🎻😭 over missing the party, I said Janis: I know Jimmy: you can do what you like, it's nowt to do with me Janis: 'Course I can Janis: but a heads up would've been good Janis: not like asking for a lot, I'm not thick Jimmy: heard you had a lot on Janis: still Jimmy: you don't owe me owt more than you made Grace give me Janis: alright then Jimmy: didn't expect you to be gone that long but it weren't owt to make it look like you weren't, like we said Janis: and I didn't expect to have to take off that fast Janis: don't mean it didn't leave you in the lurch just 'cos it was unavoidable Janis: felt it, whatever Janis: so there, have it Jimmy: I don't want whatever 🏆 you're trying to give out right now Janis: it's not Janis: for me or you Janis: just what it is Jimmy: alright Janis: you don't have to accept a sorry but I do have to say it Janis: it's done now though so Janis: don't need to be 😬 Jimmy: if you mean it as you won't fuck up again, I'll take it Jimmy: it's just not what most dickheads use it for Jimmy: might be a northern thing an' all Janis: that's the goal Janis: promising as much would just be 👍 until proven bollocks and I don't wanna do that, fuck that Janis: but if I have to go again, I'm going to make sure I give you warning and whatever else would help it not be such a dickhead thing to do Janis: but 🤞 Jimmy: you're a dickhead, don't ❌ your whole brand, mate Janis: 😏👌 Janis: like being charming is yours Jimmy: when I have to go an' all, I'll be charming with the 👋 Janis: yeah Janis: is a bit rich but there you go Jimmy: how is it? Janis: you'll not be sending postcards to say soz Janis: and fat use if you do Jimmy: I'll be sending 'em for the 🎨 OBVS Jimmy: daily thing, that Janis: yeah obvs Janis: makes it alright Jimmy: it were you who told me to keep on Janis: just saying Jimmy: what? Janis: why am I apologizing? Jimmy: weren't me who said you had to Janis: well I'll take it back when you fuck off then Jimmy: why wait? Janis: 'cos I'm not a dick Jimmy: if you're gonna take it back then it don't mean fuck all now Janis: and yours won't mean nothing even if you sent it every day Janis: be even Jimmy: how do you work that out? Janis: 'cos you're going for good, don't matter how soz you may or may not be Jimmy: and you coming back don't mean you won't piss off again, might be for good an' all for all I know Jimmy: that's about you, when I go it won't be nowt to do with me Janis: 1. you want to go, that's not nothing to do with you, own it at least 2. yeah, I wanna be gone as well but that ain't why I left then, for fun Jimmy: 1. you don't know what you're going on about 2. I never said it were Janis: 1. it's all you've said since you've been here, that's what I know 2. pretty much did but whatever Jimmy: 1. what I've said is that I don't give a fuck where I am, every shithole is the same 2. you weren't thinking about nowt but yourself is what I meant Janis: 1. yeah, exactly 2. got to do what we've got to do Jimmy: yeah we do, they're got somewhere they wanna be and I don't, ignoring that would make me a massive twat Janis: it's alright Jimmy: It's not and I don't need you to chat bollocks to me that it is Janis: for you Jimmy: *for them Janis: nah, for you Janis: sorry I don't have younger siblings to give me a fake reason to live Janis: I don't have to be selfless, that ain't my fault you got no other choice Jimmy: I'm not gonna sit here and write you a massive list of who might give a fuck about you pissing off and why, fake or real Jimmy: there's a whole scale between being selfless and not being a fucking dickhead Janis: Good, be a massive waste of time for us both Janis: it isn't the same, so you don't get it Janis: they need you, no fucker needs me, end of Jimmy: you heard me say do what the fuck you like then Janis: I don't need you to say it but tah Jimmy: I got that you don't need nowt from me, don't worry Janis: be stupid to Jimmy: so call it off Jimmy: far as fake reasons to live go, you reckon I've already got mine Janis: you do it if you want Janis: why should I Jimmy: no fucker needs you, you said, if that's what you reckon, if this is all a waste of time, that's why you should Janis: because that's not why we're doing it Janis: it's to stop people wanting us Jimmy: Why did you even bother asking if we're still mates? Janis: why did you bother saying it in the first place? Jimmy: it ain't me who's going on as if I don't have an inbox full of dickheads Jimmy: if that's what you're doing it for 💔 for you Janis: not what I asked Jimmy: but there's your answer, I said we were mates 'cause we were Janis: that'll be why I asked then Jimmy: if nowt matters to you but your DMs, there's no need to ask Jimmy: make up your mind Janis: not what I've said at any point Jimmy: it's what you just said Janis: I said that's what the plan was about Janis: not that it's the only thing I've got or give a shit about, but thanks Jimmy: what it were about, yeah Janis: there's just Janis: fuck it Janis: need to get back for next lesson Jimmy: didn't need the update but tah for it Janis: whatever Janis: go away then Jimmy: see you in detention then Janis: hooray Jimmy: you can leave that out Jimmy: Lucas is the only one chuffed Janis: I can be as well Janis: all I care about, after-all Jimmy: up to you, that Janis: really Janis: what a revelation Jimmy: shouldn't be Jimmy: I've said it loads of times now Jimmy: 💀💀💀🐴 Janis: yeah, you're fucking annoying Janis: I knew that Jimmy: dry your eyes then, mate Jimmy: got lessons to go to Janis: fuck off Jimmy: you Janis: I just got back Janis: and you can't make me Jimmy: could do but I ain't THAT selfless Jimmy: soz to piss on your carefully crafted narrative Janis: what, that everyone hates me and wants me gone? Janis: not that tragic Janis: not being needed isn't being wanted 💀💀💀 Janis: it's not a sob story, if anything, makes this all a lot easier Jimmy: tah for spelling that out for me Jimmy: now I can FINALLY get my head round it I'm BEYOND chuffed for you Janis: yeah, make it more convincing next time around Janis: that you understand, that is Janis: don't need your blessing either, OBVS Jimmy: if there were anyone around I might bother Jimmy: don't need your 🏆 Janis: fortunate Janis: be a real shame Jimmy: 💔🎻😭 Janis: just like that, yeah Jimmy: no need for 👏👏🌹 either Jimmy: it's all the same bollocks Janis: yeah, there's no need for any of this Janis: yet here we are Janis: deal with it or do something about it Jimmy: do it yourself Jimmy: I've got enough to deal with, my sob story that you keep going on about as if you've got it all memorised Janis: and? Janis: I don't give a shit, do I, 'cos all I care about is myself Janis: not mates, never were Jimmy: and I don't need you tell me I've got no fucking choices Janis: I'm not Janis: I'm not telling you anything, or trying to for that matter Jimmy: just leave it out Janis: fine Jimmy: 👍 Janis: [we better skip honey] Jimmy: [oh this detention] Janis: [oh lawd, in a mood now] Jimmy: [the 😒 isn't just his face rn honey] Janis: [just sassing into this room they've had you in all day boy, by sassing I do mean storming lbr] Jimmy: [whatever he's meant to be copying out we all know he's really doing v unflattering pictures of Mr Lucas because how we be feeling rn we don't care how much trouble we get in or what happens] Janis: [the lecture you're gonna get about ruining the school trip like it weren't a million years ago, like let it go babe] Jimmy: [we've lived a whole rom com life since then sir so obvs Jimothy is just 🙄 feel free to give him a lecture about that if you want hun] Janis: [we know the way neither of you gives a single fuck is gonna infuriate him so much, also saying she sits in front of Jimmy so she doesn't have to look at him] Jimmy: [make him have to look at your hair and the temptation of having her back to write on, love that] Janis: [mhmm, did that on purpose, at least we know full well Lucas is the type of dickhead to be like ooh you had a lovers tiff 'cos they're both in such a mood so it gives us an excuse to have to fake a bit like fuck you] Jimmy: [what an absolute dick, we all know the type] Janis: [think he's being bants 'cos everyone always takes the piss out of him and own back but no, really obviously passing back a note that's SO extra and lovey-dovey but also talking about what a loser Lucas is] Jimmy: [send the drawings with the reply you do because she'll enjoy them even more now that he's being SUCH a dick] Janis: [the laugh we're barely stifling like hope you have to come and look at these hun but also they'd be genuinely funny] Jimmy: [also shamelessly passing her gum or sweets or whatever we have that we're not meant to be cracking out now like love you gal] Janis: [blowing bubbles with the gum to be that bitch like we know you're gonna begrudgingly have to stop her 'cos you're such a perv] Jimmy: [glad Jimothy can't see that from his angle because how distracting] Janis: [can see when we go to the bin to take it out and we spit it out just as suggestively, maintaining eye contact and winking like it hasn't been a million years] Jimmy: try not to die boy because that would get to you under any circumstances never mind these when it has literally been the longest you've not seen each other since you started this] Jimmy: [obviously gonna maintain the eye contact like it's nbd but] Janis: [coming back and doing that thing where you like hold and stroke their cheek as you turn to sit down like so casual] Jimmy: [the restraint it would take to either not make a SOUND or flinch away when she did that which are obvs his two conflicting urges, but what we actually do is play with her hair as she does that like it's a choreographed scene and in the hopes that she'll then be in the same boat as he is] Janis: [obviously we are, even if our flinch reflex is out because we're proving something here, leaning back in your chair so your head is practically on his desk and he can keep playing with your hair, at least until you're told to stop then the most dramatic UGH like ffs sir living my best life here] Jimmy: [playing with hair until that last possible second because 1. it's a fave 2. it'll annoy sir 3. it's something you're so used to doing and can get lost in as if it hasn't been a million years/everything isn't so shit rn] Janis: [gonna go some texts 'cos also duh and if he does see it'll annoy him, even if it means losing your phone for the duration when he do] Janis: 🥺🥺 Jimmy: [a selfie doing it because it'll annoy Lucas that he took one if he sees and also like I know you can't see my face rn and you're so gutted about it] Janis: you're so hot Janis: [such a dramatic wistful sigh 'cos trying to get caught, nothing more OBVS, but Lucas is probably trying to ignore you two now like stop it] Jimmy: you Jimmy: [and obviously an even louder one back that's of course only for the same reason lol] Janis: [just play a lowkey game of boogeys with that which could get so indecent lmao] Jimmy: [Sir is gonna need a minute ™] Janis: [truly lmao, we're just trying not to crack up 'cos it's so serious of course] Janis: wish we were in here alone Jimmy: [write out a saucy little scenario for what you would do if you were that I honestly hope Mr Lucas will see at some point because OBVS that's the only reason we're saying any of this yep] Janis: [step it up sir, when you've got an hour of this and you wish you'd never bothered lowkey loooooool] Janis: I know a way, if you really want it Jimmy: ? Janis: Maybe I should make you wait for it though Janis: [not wanting to send texts that don't sound real/flirty rn 'cos the goal is him reading them, obvs, but trying to get across like do we ACTUALLY wanna be alone or nah] Jimmy: 🥺🥺 Jimmy: I probably won't get away with another selfie Janis: That's good Janis: how could I say no to that face Jimmy: or owt else in my 📷 roll Jimmy: there's loads of really convincing shit in there Janis: his rant did remind me Janis: of how many 📷 we took on the trip Janis: and the ones we didn't Jimmy: feels like ages ago Janis: too long Jimmy: when's the next one? Janis: [ask Lucas for his HA! of a reaction] Jimmy: [we loling because we shall openly mock you and your lack of authority sir, don't give a fuck] Janis: [honestly, like okay babe, looking forward to all the team building and shit] Janis: you'll still wanna be my partner by then? Jimmy: come on Jimmy: you know how I feel about that Janis: I like when you tell me though Jimmy: 👀 or 🗨? Janis: show me yours I'll show you mine Jimmy: hang on then Jimmy: [make a big performance ™ of writing on her back so Lucas can't fail to notice but we don't actually have to say anything we're probably just drawing a 🏆 or something like well done for this 'fakery'] Janis: [acting like that tickles way more than it ever actually has and going to turn like you're gonna make out or something but obviously getting stopped and probably moved a few desks away or something] Jimmy: [waits until she's been moved and then 'accidentally' spills a shit load of water everywhere like oops must be because I'm so distracted rn relatable isn't that sir and then the whole rigmarole of having to sort that out would make Lucas be fuming like he's either gonna have to also move Jimothy or leave to get shit to clean that up with] Janis: [probably just trying to move him and then being like NO SIR THAT'S A SLIP HAZARD like we are so concerned and how dare you at least get a wet floor sign] Jimmy: [off you go dickhead, give them a minute to breathe and be real but also an excuse to have to make out or something which is perfectly timed for your return] Janis: [should say something creepy about them seeming like they want him to see because the looks you'd give him/each other are sending me] Janis: think he's actually having a break from reality Janis: 😕 Jimmy: get the school therapist on the 📞 Janis: might leave you alone then Janis: 😡😡 Jimmy: be nice if everyone would Janis: [asking Lucas if he knows the school therapist lady in such an obvious way like she's trying to matchmaker them] Jimmy: [chiming in because #teamwork honey, I'm sure Lucas is shooketh because this is probably the most Jimmy has ever said] Janis: [casually a bit terrified, bless but not at all sorry] Jimmy: [I like to think from where she's sitting now they can send each other so many LOOKS but also looks like oh sir] Janis: [for sure] Janis: wanna be impressed? Jimmy: depends if you mean by you or sir 😏 Janis: oi 😂 Jimmy: go on Janis: I bet you I can get us out of here for good in the next 15 minutes Jimmy: and if you don't? Janis: You get whatever you want, of course Jimmy: can't lose Jimmy: I'll be timing you Janis: [having a text back and forth with someone that ain't him obviously and then waiting] Janis: [so my idea is when she was coming back into school she keyed his car up and has now text Sophie who's in some kind of after-school club to go to the office and tell them she's just found it 'cos she's quite good so we're not suspecting her of doing it then going to inform them, so someone from the office coming in within this timeframe to be like um hey 'cos he probably has some wanky mid-tier sports car and will be FUMING] Jimmy: [LOVE THAT] Janis: [just looking and LOOKING (lbr when are we not) at him when Lucas has run out in a fluff like ta-da 'cos had that planned since we came back baby and now they can just leg it 'cos he's distracted as hell] Jimmy: [THE LOOK he would not be able to stop himself giving her because that's impressive as hell like he'd honestly probably also go to kiss her and then be like -] Janis: [casually not moving or breathing for ages like he might still do it, as if he didn't just stop himself, but then going in her bag and pulling out a hoodie that is not his but Ian's and handing it back 'just in case the CCTV caught shit' and shrugs like we know it didn't but may as well look like a middle-aged dude if not] Jimmy: [chucking it back at her and gesturing to wherever she keeps the lighter he gave her like feel free to burn it because fuck Ian] Janis: ['was on the back of a chair' like don't think I've gone through his wardrobe or something weird 'knew it weren't yours' and such a face feel the shade sir, offering it out for a bit longer but nods and takes it back like alright, makes no difference to me] Jimmy: [when you can't help smiling at the shade face in spite of everything because it's so important and makes you so happy and relieved that she's always been on your side about him] Janis: ['maybe he'll think it was Ian, kill the bromance' like we're just talking not to be awkward now 'cos you know you could just walk out] Jimmy: [does an IRL 🤞 but crosses her one over the other instead of doing it with his own because we just have to touch her to prove we can and it's fine after the near kiss] Janis: [such a wary smile 'told you I'd show you' in a quieter voice than we've been using but not quite whisper level] Jimmy: ['yeah' likewise soft about it] Janis: [going to walk but not just going, like are you coming or] Jimmy: [obvs we are and we do and we're lighting both of us a 🚬 as soon as we can because she's earnt that] Janis: [just smoke that in silence 'cos at least we know how to do that] Jimmy: [mhmm, though he would go to say something at least once] Janis: [trying not to be too !!! but obviously we want him to say something, doing a feelsy lean as we walk like what] Jimmy: [obvs we're doing it back because always 'can we just-' what boy] Janis: ['yeah' like whatever it is, we can 'cos sincerely mean that] Jimmy: [looking at her like lowkey 😍 lowkey amused because we know she means it even though she doesn't know what we mean and like when does anyone ever care or support us like this] Janis: [pushing him really gently with our next feelsy lean like oi, 'cos you're aware it sounds a bit thirsty but you don't actually care so 😏 'you know I've got nothing else on, why not'] Jimmy: [pulling her as gently closer to him because we just can't help ourselves and taking a big breath likewise because this is all so hard having abandonment/trust issues but also loving/missing her as much as we do] Janis: [speaking really quietly 'cos proximity but also we must 'cos we're so unsure of what to say or do in terms of fixing anything 'I probably said some things I shouldn't have?' as a question not to be annoying but like we truly wanna know as is our confusion but hugging him like earlier 'cos must] Jimmy: [a lil scornful noise an himself like hard same babe 'me an' all' and after he's hugged her for the longest time ever writing 'you' on her but then putting a line through it like it's not your fault 'I'm the dickhead'] Jimmy: [*at] Janis: [shakes her head 'call it a draw, just this once' like we're both 🥇 on this score, going to explain loads of times but the complex emotions never mind the story that's so involved lowkey so we just don't, enjoying being near him again like it's all new 'cos it's been so long] Jimmy: ['I meant what I said before, alright' does not elaborate for what would feel like ages excuse him 'if you need to stay at ours, you can, the rest is just...' trailing off because we obvs mean is not as important as being safe etc] Jimmy: [but we can't say bollocks because it's not] Janis: [just waiting for that like what what what then softening when he does say it 'I know you meant it' and squeezing his hand like !!! thank you but we're not gonna outright be like yes absolutely 'cos we feel like it's not even that bad, even though we HATE being home there's not like a valid enough reason because shit nan isn't always there or whatever] Jimmy: [hug her again but then obvs your feelings are too high so you're like 'I should-' and nod in the direction of your house boy, like remember those siblings I have no choice but to look after] Janis: [straighten up like 'right' but not trying to come across as disappointed as we are 'cos not that bitch so smiling 'got catching up to do with customers as well'] Jimmy: ['piss off then' but soft not like fuck you bye] Janis: [waving like bye as you go but 'see you later?' just as you're about to 'round a corner or whatever] Jimmy: [I love that he's the one who said he should go but has lowkey not moved LOL just a look like do you wanna see me later as if that's not obvious] Janis: [stopping like you really not gonna answer, as if this whole street is watching and waiting lol] Jimmy: [signs 'see you later' like we're so put upon but we're clearly amused] Janis: [does it back best we can but does 'I missed you' 'cos got that down] Jimmy: [we wanna do it back but feels are getting too high again so we just nod like well done gal you have got that down and do whatever 🤓 is instead] Janis: [🖕 but in a bants way and you must go now] Jimmy: [😏😘 because we love it but yeah fuck off both of you please]

[whereconfusionisarhyme]

(A/N)Under the cut is a rewrite of the song 16 Going On 17 from Sound Of Music. It’s modernized, and it’s gay. Tumblr doesn’t have center text, so please just pretend that the stage directions are in the center. 

It was inspired by the Broadway Backwards version of Sixteen Going On Seventeen, but it’s not a neccessary thing to watch to get the scene.

***

CHARACTERS

Lessie – Mezzo-Soprano/Soprano. Upbeat, bouncy, sassy.

Raffaella – Alto/Mezzo-Soprano. Good posture, subtle emotions, cautious.

***

(Lessie enters stage left dragging Raffaella by the hand. Lessie is excited and eager to reach their destination, while Raffaella is apprehensive and wildly looking around in a mixture of confusion and worry. Lessie stops center stage and looks somewhere offstage, barely containing her excitement.)

LESSIE

There it is!

(Raffaella stares at the same spot, but with incredulity. She slowly turns to Lessie and tries not to squash her best friend's excitement.)

RAFFAELLA

Lessie...Lessie...I love you...but I am not letting you take a single step into that warehouse.

(Lessie noticeably flashes her eyes up at the words 'I love you', but tries to cover it up with pouting.)

LESSIE

But Raffaellaaaaa. That's not fairrrrr. We did the thing you wanted to do yesterday. You said we can do my thing today.

RAFFAELLA

Yes, I did, but the key difference you seem to be overlooking is that I went to a BOOKSTORE at 2:00 pm. YOU want to go to a WAREHOUSE at 11:00 pm.

LESSIE

Firstly, you got the time wrong it's actually about 12:30 right now. Secondly, I don't want to go to the WAREHOUSE. I want to go to the RAVE inSIDE the warehouse.

RAFFAELLA

What?! A rave?! That is completely and utterly ridiculous. We're going home.

LESSIE

We are NOT going home. My parents probably won't let me go out again with you this month, so I have to make the most of tonight.

(A beat. Raffaella looks taken aback for a moment and a flicker of sadness flashes across her face. She quickly recovers and continues as if nothing happened.)

RAFFAELLA

Why won't they let you?

LESSIE

Because I went out with you today.

RAFFAELLA

Is there some sort of limit to how many times you're permitted to go out with me?

LESSIE

Well, yes but it's not like a set number. They think I'm spending too much time with you, and that I should get a boyfriend.

RAFFAELLA

Why do they want you to get a boyfriend?

LESSIE

Because it'll "give me experience for when I get a husband". After all, "how can I expect to snag up a good one if I don't know how.".

(Lessie crosses her arms and walks around the stage, waving her hands around and trying to hide her obvious disdain at the notion of getting a husband.)

RAFFAELLA

That...odd.

LESSIE

Tell me something I don't know. So, yeah, I'm not going home.

(Raffaella attempts to compromise with Lessie, worried for her safety.)

RAFFAELLA

Well, if that's the case, let's just...go see a movie then. We can watch an R-rated one if you can't squash your need to be rebellious.

LESSIE

Please, girl, I'm staying. I'm not giving this chance up.

(Less stands on the box farthest to the right of the stage and looks offstage, at the warehouse. Raffaella pulls her back and off of the box.)

RAFFAELLA

Please, "girl", why do you need to go in there?

LESSIE, JOKINGLY SINGING AND SHIMMYING

I love the night life! I've got to boo-gay~

RAFFAELLA

Nonono, that's it. We're getting away from this place.

LESSIE

No, fine, you go. I'm gonna stay.

RAFFAELLA

No, it's too dangerous. You're just a baby.

LESSIE

I'm not a baby! I'm 18.

(Beat.)

RAFFAELLA, DEADPAN

You're 16.

LESSIE

Nearly 17. And 17 in basically 18.

(A beat. A sigh from Raffaella is heard.)

RAFFAELLA

You wait little girl On an empty stage For fate to turn the light on

Your life little girl

LESSIE

I'm not little.

RAFFAELLA

Sure.

RAFFAELLA

Is an empty page That men will want to write on

LESSIE, LOOKING AT RAFFAELLA WISTFULLY,

To write on

RAFFAELLA

You are 16 going on 17 Baby it's time to think

LESSIE

Sounds disgusting

(Raffaella send Lessie a 'done' look. Lessie scrunches up her nose and smirks at Raffaella.)

RAFFAELLA

Better beware Be canny and careful Baby you're on the brink You are 16 going on 17 Fellows will fall in line Eager young lads And grueways and cads Will offer you food and wine

LESSIE

Sounds amazing.

RAFFAELLA Totally unprepared are you To face a world of men Timid and shy and scared are you Of things beyond your kin You need someone Older and wiser Telling you what to do I am 17 going on 18 I'll take care of you

(Raffaella goes to boop Lessie on the nose. Lessie grabs her hand and moves it away from her face. Raffaella briefly looks down at her hand in Lessie's before her attention coming back up to Lessie when the girl talks.)

LESSIE

You aren't 'going on 18', your birthday was literally 2 days ago.

RAFFAELLA, SMIRKING

It doesn't change the fact that you're still a 16-year-old baby while I'm a 17-year-old adult.

(Lessie lets go of Raffaella's hand.)

LESSIE

Two weeks. Two weeks between my birthday and yours. Only TWO WEEKS. Nobody found this little bit funny when we were six, and it still isn't funny when we're 17.

RAFFAELLA

I'M 17. You, on the other hand, are-

LESSIE

Don't you da-

RAFFAELLA

16.

LESSIE

You're not my friend anymore.

RAFFAELLA

I have to stay your friend, because I am older and therefore obligated to take care of you.

LESSIE

I can take care of myself, thank you very much.

(Lessie's lyrics are sung in a sickeningly sweet soprano. So much mugging that she would be arrested and put before a jury.)

LESSIE

I am 16 going on 17 I know that I'm naive Fellows I meet may tell me I'm sweet And willingly I believe I am 16 going on 17 innocent as a rose Bachelor dandies Drinkers of brandies What do I know of those?

(Raffaella sticks out her leg and trips Lessie. Lessie glares at her. Raffaella gives an innocent look. Lessie recovers quickly and continues her sarcasm.)

Totally unprepared am I To face a world of men Timid and shy and scared am I Of things beyond my kin I need someone Older and wiser Telling me what to do

(Lessie walks behind Raffaella and wraps her arms around Raffaella's middle, bringing herself down to peep her head in between Raffaella's torso and arms. She begins to sway back and forth.)

You are 17 going on 18

(Lessie looks up at Raffaella with an uncanny sweetness and says to line with unexpected sincerity.)

I'll depend on you

LESSIE

Sike, I'm going to the rave.

(Raffaella grabs Lessie by the hand and pulls her back. Lessie spins into Raffaella's arms. They make eye contact. They are both noticeably flustered. Lessie hastily pushes Raffaella away. Raffaella is saddened by the loss of contact but Lessie doesn't notice, lost in her own thoughts.)

(Musical interlude. Consider using either modern or timeless type of dance. They end on opposite ends of the stage.)

(Raffaella and Lessie do that iconic 'walking away and coming back again' that is memorable from the original Sixteen Going On Seventeen scene. On the final time they meet in the middle, Raffaella pulls Lessie into a kiss. At first, Lessie gets pushed back by the force, but quickly pushes forward and return to kiss. Raffaella pulls back in surprise. Raffaella runs offstage right. Lessie holds her fingers up to her lips and squeals in excitement. Her head snaps back up to where Rafaella ran off to. She reaches out her hand. She exits stage right in the same direction as Raffaella, yelling.)

LESSIE

Wait, Raffaella, wait up!

(End scene.)

***

Comments are always appreciated! 

Video I was talking about

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[punkscowardschampions]

Jesse & Jac

Jesse: [okay so in my head it's at least the next day and obviously she's not going to school and neither is he because lowkey doesn't want to ever but brings her a cup of tea in the morning when everyone else is going off and then leaves] Jac: Practicing for your illustrious career in the café industry? Jac: Dad will be equal parts proud and horrified Jac: that'd be a...latte, yeah? Jesse: Depends on if you reckon it's needed Jac: Think it's a flat white, actually Jac: I'll ask him, be nothing but thrilled Jesse: thrilled about you talking Jac: you could be a little more buzzing yourself, honestly Jesse: I am Jesse: silent brooding works better for lads Jesse: and it's sorta my gig Jac: Don't worry, I'll leave your guitar out of my 'brooding' Jac: keep it truly 🤐 Jesse: 👍 Jac: You been tasked to make sure I don't top myself or this purely about your knowledge adversion Jesse: writer's block Jac: well you aren't co-opting my heartbreak Jac: not being another bitch who never gets the credit she's due Jesse: have a credit Jesse: don't matter to me Jac: Got enough hits, Mr Sensitive? Jac: alright Jac: it would piss Jude off if I got mine 'fore her Jesse: chart faves are shitting themselves Jac: yeah, you're well top40, always said so 😏 Jesse: prefer the 🤐 off you then Jac: Charming Jac: no wonder I'm so well-adjusted Jesse: you're doing alright Jac: Ha, what are you basing that expert opinion on? Jesse: 👀 Jac: Notoriously deceptive, 👀s Jesse: depends whose Jac: Remember when we started school Jac: and the teachers used to get our names the wrong way 'round Jesse: yeah Jesse: put a k on yours and an i in mine Jac: right Jac: maybe we can really commit to the swap now Jesse: if you like Jac: I could get the silent brooding down Jac: my sex aside Jesse: I'm not doing everything you do Jesse: be knackered Jac: you kidding? Jac: I'm laying here watching this cuppa go cold Jesse: [comes in and drinks it because we don't waste tea in this house] Jesse: don't stare at an empty mug Jesse: that's 💔 Jac: [the smallest lol ever] Jac: what do I do then? Jesse: [gets his guitar and starts teaching her some basics, like well if you're gonna be me] Jac: [that's a nice moment] Jesse: [just passing that guitar between them like] Jac: ['does it work then?'] Jesse: [a look like what?] Jac: [looks at the guitar then does 💔 mime] Jesse: [gets his phone and shows her how many songs/playlists etc there are on spotify or wherever about heartbreak with a shrug like it must do] Jac: [a look back that says 'or it doesn't'] Jesse: [a look back like maybe nothing does and looks at his imaginary watch like maybe time does] Jac: [scatching look like your mother] Jesse: [😏 like both of your parents] Jac: [taps the empty mug like make us another one? 'might be able to drink some of this one'] Jesse: [goes to do that and will bring her biscuits of course] Jac: [I'd love a biscuit rn tbh] Jesse: you know what would work? Jac: tell me Jesse: 🥊 Jac: I can barely hold a mug Jac: you want an easy win that bad? Jesse: you held a guitar Jac: not as hard as you want girls to believe, pretty boy Jesse: piss off Jac: 😏 Jesse: told ya you were doing alright Jac: not dead yet Jesse: 👍 Jesse: Jude would have it said you are Jesse: or dying Jac: She's got Auntie Grace's dramatic streak Jac: she'll wanna 🥊 me for saying it but can't hide from the truth Jesse: she wants to knock out loads of people Jesse: get in line Jac: I'm not queuing Jesse: 💔 isn't a killer then? Jac: Haven't you ever? Jac: ❤ or 💔 Jesse: only been in like Jac: reckon I've only ever been out Jesse: what do you mean? Jac: I thought it was ❤ Jac: but it weren't Jesse: weren't to you Jesse: or weren't to them Jac: Is there a difference? Jesse: yeah Jac: if it's not reciprocated Jac: it's not real Jesse: if it was real to one of you Jac: Only in my 🧠 Jesse: you reckon? Jac: I know now Jesse: if they even know Jac: what do you mean? Jesse: how they feel might be complicated Jesse: in their 🧠 or ❤ Jac: She made her feelings really clear Jesse: one of them Jac: It's not even how much this hurts Jac: and it does Jac: but I'm going to be completely alone Jesse: [brings her the tea and biscuits and does the feelsy lean on her that JJ do like no you won't] Jac: [just tapping his hand like she did the mug because we can't be smiling or showing appreciation in any way more than this rn] Jesse: [we drinking tea and eating biscuits cos emotions] Jac: [again, a nice moment, even though if you could cry, you would be] Jesse: [his biscuit falling in his tea and him doing the 💔 mime] Jac: [kisses her teeth like amateur 'won't tell dad'] Jesse: [does a little spur of the moment song about it that's so silly] Jac: [snorts 'oh, now I get why you have fans, yeah' shaking her head] Jesse: [throws a pillow at her because father's son] Jac: [hits him with it, obvs] Jesse: [lets her because it'll help] Jac: [should turn into you lowkey angrily beating him with the pillow like a crazy grieving person 'cos tea] Jesse: [100% approved and he'll eventually just hug her when she's exhausted her anger] Jac: [allowing it 'cos you need it] Jesse: [you seriously do gal] Jac: [loved this tbh] Jesse: [I like them together a lot] Jac: [but not in an incesty way ty] Jesse: [no no] Jac: [later, like, he left] Jac: thanks Jesse: it's just tea Jac: no just about, boy Jesse: 🙄😏 Jac: just let me know when you need a cup, yeah? Jesse: every hour on the hour Jesse: tah Jac: don't take the piss, like Jesse: don't sound like me Jac: 'course not Jesse: real food? Jac: biscuits are the most important food group Jesse: Dad entered the chat Jac: thank fuck he hasn't Jesse: worse people to talk to Jesse: in this house Jac: don't need to tell me Jac: dreading when she gets back Jesse: I'll take her on a dog walk Jesse: long Jac: throw a ⚾ and lose her Jac: bless Jesse: you've done the runner Jac: it worked so well Jesse: no seeing the future Jac: dunno if anyone thinks it's all that shocking Jesse: you weren't doing it for shock factor Jac: mum thinks I'm such a prick Jesse: She don't have the full story Jesse: and she can be a prick Jac: she ain't saying it like a compliment Jesse: not personally gutted that you weren't as good at pissing off as her Jac: 🤢 Jac: careful Jesse: 🤠 Jac: gotta live up to the namesake, yeah Jesse: don't wanna be the other McCartney Jesse: and you're more likely to invent Facebook than I am Jac: but how will I know I've got a beautiful soul now? 💔 Jesse: Talk to her Jac: who Jesse: the girl you love Jac: I can't Jesse: not today Jesse: but she's not going anywhere Jac: she's gone Jac: I can feel it Jac: nothing is the same now Jesse: loads has been happening Jesse: cut her some slack Jac: you didn't see the look on her face Jesse: I've seen her with you loads of other times Jac: she was in love with Tyler Jac: everyone knew it Jesse: was Jac: that was me Jac: their breakup Jesse: No it weren't Jac: I've done a lot of shit Jesse: that's not why she reacted like she did Jac: She's straight Jac: regardless Jesse: she said? Jac: the 👀 Jesse: it's for her to say Jesse: I got shit scared the 1st time I performed, it don't mean I never wanted to again Jac: well, she can Jac: not getting my hopes up here though Jesse: she'll be alone an' all Jac: if she weren't 💬 him in her uber back Jesse: you reckon? Jac: probably Jac: wouldn't be surprised Jesse: that's rough Jac: mhm Jesse: You wanna come to tonight's gig? Jac: How 💔 is your set? Jesse: it ain't Jesse: but it ain't set in stone Jac: don't go changing it on my account Jac: not fit to be seen by the public Jesse: write down the songs you wanna hear Jesse: if you can hold a pen Jesse: pub's in the middle of nowt Jac: I could use a drink that don't have milk in Jac: no white russians Jesse: should've said Jac: not before 5PM Jesse: real food 1st Jac: Dad entered the chat Jesse: don't wanna clean up your 🤮 you prick Jac: then don't Jac: and I'm not an amateur Jesse: 🖕😏 Jac: they got a 🚽 yeah? Jesse: Dunno Jac: Jesus Jac: super ⭐dom is well glam Jesse: Piss off Jac: can we be out the house 'fore they're all back or what Jesse: if you like Jac: you don't wanna be unfashionably early though Jesse: we can find somewhere else to go Jac: alright Jac: better than repeating the same conversations again Jesse: 👍 Jac: 🤠 Jesse: dress code? Jac: I'm not that gay Jesse: gutted Jac: 💔 Jesse: if we ain't matching, better not Jac: let us borrow a hat Jac: not gonna be pulling Jesse: Alright Jac: give me time to wash Jesse: don't have to queue Jac: polite to pretend I ain't a state Jesse: is it? Jesse: or are you just not? Jac: oh yeah, winning at life, me Jesse: weren't what I said Jesse: but you don't look like Alice Cooper, you can have that Jac: Cheers Jesse: 🏆

[punkscowardschampions]

Fraze & Ava

Fraze: Come home now Ava: I'm at Kylie's, we just ordered food Fraze: You didn't hear me say please 'cause I ain't Fraze: It's not a request Ava: Why do I need to, let's start there Fraze: You know why Ava: So I'm not allowed to go out now? Ava: We can talk later, when you've calmed down Fraze: I've cancelled two meetings, we can talk now Ava: I didn't ask you to do that Ava: God's sake Fraze: You want my attention, you've got it, like Ava: Get your own lines, yeah Ava: I don't want your attention, sorry to say Fraze: I've got a sister, I know what shit boyfriends are for, yeah Ava: Seriously? Ava: 🙄 Fraze: I also get what lads your own age are like, but you've got a bit far, don't you reckon? Fraze: *gone Ava: You don't get it at all if you think it's anything to do with anyone but me and him Fraze: Nah, what I don't get is why him Ava: Why anyone? Ava: I like him, it's as simple as that Fraze: Give me one thing you've got in common that ain't your postcode Fraze: He's at a different stage in his life, Ava, it's as simple as that Ava: Well we lack common familial DNA, how's that Ava: That's up for us to decide, not you Fraze: You really don't wanna start taking the piss right now Ava: It's literally not your business, you've never shown any interest in anyone else I've dated Ava: so I'm not going to sit here and justify anything to you now Fraze: Date someone your own age without any kids or a wife and we can go back to that Ava: And miss out on all this great attention? Ava: You're alright Fraze: You ain't half as funny as you reckon, and neither is this Ava: That's alright then 'cos I'm not joking about it Fraze: You are if you think I'm gonna pat you on the head for this, it ain't happening Fraze: You've got an important year of school to get on with, uni after that Ava: Can you please get a grip Ava: We don't all do things for head pats Ava: and? Fraze: Don't talk to me like that Ava: Then try talking to me like an adult Fraze: Try acting like one Ava: By doing what you want? Ava: Sure Fraze: By not storming out the second you don't get what you want, for a start Ava: You can't talk Fraze: I'm the one who started this conversation, if you ain't ready to have it, you ain't ready to do it Fraze: Throwing bullshit out like 'it ain't my buisiness' or 'you like him' as though any of it is that fucking simple Ava: What conversation? Ava: You've shouted all of this before I left Ava: but I'm pouting 'cos I'm not getting what I want, alright dad Fraze: You didn't listen then either Fraze: You want me to be sorry that it needs to be said, I ain't Fraze: You want me to be in the wrong for giving a shit about what you're doing, again, I ain't Ava: You know what they call repeating the same process and expecting a different outcome Ava: I'm not going to change my mind or change what I'm doing Ava: that's all there is to it, that's not up for debate because it's my decision, not yours, or a communal one Fraze: Neither am I, he's too old for you and he's got too much baggage Ava: So what? Fraze: So no good's gonna come of it Ava: You reckon Ava: but it already has Fraze: The honeymoon period's fucking boss, yeah? Fraze: Then what? Ava: More like it's nice when there's someone to come see you in hospital Fraze: Make up your mind, this is a dig at me or it ain't Ava: He's been there Fraze: I'm here Fraze: Talk to me Ava: I have Ava: you don't like what I'm saying that's your problem Fraze: Put yourself in my position Fraze: What's to like? Ava: You don't know him Ava: you give people a chance, that's how it works Fraze: It ain't about him, it's about you Fraze: I thought you had your head screwed on, that you knew what you were doing and could be trusted to get on with it Ava: I do Ava: I've not done anything wrong Ava: or changed what I've been doing Fraze: Bullshit, he's a married man Ava: And, you're really concerned about the sanctity of marriage now? Ava: It doesn't matter Fraze: I'm concerned if you're naive enough to fall for whatever sob story he's telling you Ava: Yeah, that's why I like him Ava: what the fuck is wrong with you all Ava: why is that who you think I am Fraze: You go through 'em, and there ain't nothing wrong in that, but he ain't some teenage boy Ava: Wow Fraze: Ask yourself what he sees in you, he's a grown man with responsibilities Ava: And I'm not a kid Fraze: Exactly, so grow up Fraze: He's using you 'cause his life is shit and you're gonna get hurt Ava: You grow up Ava: I can handle getting hurt Ava: I'm not going to not live my life in fear of Fraze: You can't save him, Ava Fraze: Don't fuck with your own future Ava: I'm not trying to, Jesus! Fraze: Nah, you're just having fun Fraze: And maybe it is fun now Fraze: See how fun you reckon it is when it ain't a secret any more Ava: It already isn't Fraze: Then stop Ava: I meant not a secret and you know it Fraze: Yeah right Ava: We're done here Fraze: You don't tell me when we're done Ava: Just did Ava: I'm staying here tonight Fraze: No, you ain't Ava: Yes I am Fraze: Come home or I'll bring you home Fraze: You don't wanna test me Ava: Yeah, you even remember where she lives? Ava: Doubt it Fraze: Try me Ava: I don't need to be there right now Fraze: If I tell you that you need to, you need to Fraze: End of Ava: No Fraze: If I get in this car, you're the only one who'll regret it Ava: I don't care Ava: make a scene Fraze: Fine Ava: You can't force me to go anywhere Fraze: We'll see, like Ava: Have fun Fraze: This ain't fun for me Ava: You think I'm going to apologize for anything now? Ava: No Fraze: I don't care Fraze: It ain't an apology I want Ava: You aren't getting what you want Fraze: No shit Ava: Then leave me alone Fraze: Look where that's got us Ava: This is not about you Fraze: Jesus Fraze: It's about you, the mistake you're making with this lad Ava: I can make mistakes if I want Ava: you can't stop me Fraze: That don't mean I'm gonna sit back and watch with my mouth shut Ava: Fine, you can waste your breath Fraze: It's the least of what I'm willing to do for you, you know that Fraze: I ain't never gonna stop trying, ever, with anything Ava: You can't expect me to be grateful about that when you're being totally unreasonable and insulting Fraze: You're my life, whatever I've gotta do to stop you from fucking up yours, I'm gonna do it Ava: I'm not fucking up my life Ava: nothing has changed Fraze: Not yet Fraze: How long before he's getting in the way of shit you wanna do with your mates, with uni? Fraze: He's not 17, he already has been Ava: He's not like that, at all Ava: and why do you suddenly think I'd let that happen Ava: if you give a shit about me, you should know who the fuck I am Fraze: People can hold you back without meaning to, I did it to your ma, I never wanted to drag her down, did I? Ava: Like mum would have let you if that's not what she wanted Fraze: She's better than me, she always has been Ava: No she's not Ava: and like your life is so shit, yeah Ava: what kind of cautionary tale do you think you can offer that even comes close to James' actual situation? Fraze: Our life is what we made it, so's yours gonna be Fraze: What do you want? Ava: I'm aware Ava: and I'm well aware of what I want too Fraze: What about him, what does he want? Ava: He literally has a job and just got his degree Ava: you all have no right to be so judgmental Fraze: It's concern Ava: 'cos you really vetted Rio out Ava: or any of the random coked-out skeletons Nancy has dated Ava: never mind the fact your own son had a kid not long after James had his, never mind you had Buster and Nancy not long after 16 either Fraze: You ain't your brother or your sister and I ain't trying to make the same mistakes Fraze: Or let you repeat mine Ava: Get over it Ava: You don't own the world's problems Ava: and you aren't the only decent people to have ever made them Fraze: Fuck's sake, Ava Fraze: He could be a saint and I wouldn't reckon he was good enough for you Ava: That's your issue, not his Fraze: You're my little girl, what do you want me to say? Ava: For God's sake Ava: I'm not a little girl now Fraze: I know Fraze: Gutted about it, like Ava: 🙄 Ava: Well I'm very sorry Ava: you'll have to deal with that too Fraze: Yeah Ava: I'll come back when we've eat, alright Fraze: Alright Ava: Okay? Fraze: I love you Ava: Let's not get crazy Ava: I love you too Fraze: And I'm sorry I weren't there when you got hurt Ava: It was just an accident Ava: not another planned attempt for some sweet, sweet attention Fraze: Piss off, I'm trying to have a heartfelt moment here Ava: Sure, now you are Ava: lead with something nice before attacking Fraze: I ain't in no position to judge anyone, yeah, I know that, and it honestly ain't the point Fraze: He'll be a decent enough lad if you like him Ava: Then don't use it as your first line of defense, yeah Ava: 'cos he is Ava: and like I said, and you put even more harshly, you've never given any of my many and varied boyfriends or girlfriends this degree of inspection Ava: you're assuming it's more serious and dramatic but it doesn't have to be Fraze: Come on, I'm doing my best Fraze: There's a reason your ma deals with this shit Ava: Oh yeah, she did great Ava: let's not saint her over it yet, like Fraze: Don't say a bad word about her to me, we ain't doing that Ava: Yeah, yeah Fraze: We're a team, simple as Ava: Yeah, it's just hilarious that you and Buster are trying to tell me anything when you won't listen to anyone about your spouses so Fraze: When you're in love and a lost cause, we'll all laugh it up Fraze: Until then, I'm gonna keep on at you Ava: Charming Fraze: I want better for you than anything I've ever done Ava: You're so dramatic Fraze: With good reason, life ain't been easy Ava: Okay, write your memoirs Fraze: I ain't got time for that, kid Ava: What a coincidence 😏 Fraze: Eat your food and get home Ava: Oh now you don't want me to hang out with my friends Fraze: Not her, she's well dramatic Ava: 😂 Fraze: I need a drink and your ma definitely does, so don't make me come looking for you Ava: Oh yeah, I really owe you one Ava: pfft Fraze: You can have one when you show your face, how's that? Ava: Bribery with alcohol? Ava: 10/10 parenting Fraze: Sounds about right Ava: 👌

[punkscowardschampions]

Fearghal & Tess & Katya

Fearghal: [Notes in detention, let's say he's there today 'cos some teacher was a patronizing dickhead and he told 'em to do one and then did himself] Tess: [we all know she was brawling but let's assume something/someone stopped her at the start of it cos she has no chill rn and they'd be dead] Fearghal: Hey up Tess: g'wed Fearghal: what you in for Tess: [draws a spoon because that means to make a mistake in scouse but with a hand gripping the handle because 'gripped' is caught] Fearghal: [draws an eye on the spoon] Tess: [when you're amused af but you can't show it because such is life so you just draw a big ? like what do you want] Fearghal: you not in year 11? Tess: [cross out the 1 and write a 0] Fearghal: [draws a smiley in the 0 so it looks like an E and does his own question mark] Tess: [writes however much that'd cost back then because idk] Fearghal: sound Fearghal: what's your name then Tess: [draws a _ like fill in anything you like] not gonna fuck you whatever you call me Fearghal: [does a lol and gets told to shut up] Fearghal: alright, blondie it is Tess: [makes a 😒 face at him] bleach ain't only a pure boss bevvy Fearghal: [huge grins back like] Fearghal: so you're smart and all Tess: [🖕 because does she care if the teacher sees not really but 😏 because try and keep some customers babe] Tess: can count the spends you owe if you're deciding you'll leg it Fearghal: [does 'dagger through my heart' act] Fearghal: not do that, you know where I live, babe Tess: if you wanna call it living, irish Fearghal: Living it up in Heswall are ya? I'll pop in for tea when I'm in the area meself Tess: you a scuffer with a baby face? [draws a baby policeman with an irish flag] Fearghal: get fucked am I Fearghal: new one, give you credit there Tess: ask a lotta geg questions, new lad, bit rem if you ain't earning from it Fearghal: Shit, don't tell Donovan he's right Fearghal: really can't read Tess: [is again so amused on the low but] do less drugs Tess: learn more scouse Fearghal: must be your main gig Fearghal: teach me then, blondie Tess: your gary orders are properly keeping my leccy on, yeah [draws a 💡 with a smiley face] Fearghal: better teacher than this lot but that ain't saying fuck all but I reckon I'd learn a thing or two if you were up there instead Fearghal: [throws paperball at board for emphasis and then has to go put it in the bin like 😏] Tess: whatever your meff mates in year 11 have said, they didn't learn or catch nothing off me Fearghal: [when he's back in his seat] Fearghal: I ain't got any blondie, you're alright Tess: [draws him a medal] made up for yous Fearghal: [makes it have a sad face] shouldn't be Tess: [crosses it out like I take it back then] Fearghal: [draws a heart] Tess: [rips up that page deliberately slowly like fuck you] Tess: giz us the £ and garry can show his face Fearghal: [laughs again like sh you have such a loud laugh but not bothered and neither is this teacher lowkey so] Fearghal: at the end, not necking it now, babe Tess: [draws a broken heart with garry written in it] Tess: call me babe again and you ain't getting it Fearghal: [crosses it out] Tess: not as rem as your face would have you look Fearghal: s'okay, I know I'm cute, blondie Tess: stop listening to your ma, irish, she's feeding you lies with the scran Fearghal: don't think it's in her vocabulary or recipe book Fearghal: [crosses out garry and writes his own name] Tess: how am I meant to say that? barely read it Fearghal: want me to teach you Fearghal: gave me the scouse 101 for free Tess: point you in the direction of a girl that'll work on, is right Fearghal: you're a pal Tess: friendly neighbourhood dealer Fearghal: [draws a really crap spiderman] Tess: gonna tat that on me, full credit to yous Fearghal: it is my look too so tah for that Tess: [looks at him like she genuinely hasn't noticed cos lowkey never looks at people if she can help it] Fearghal: [lifts his sleeves where necessary like hiya] Tess: [🙄 but she hasn't looked away so] Fearghal: and that's just the safe for school ones, jailbait Tess: [puts her hand up and is like sir this boy is flirting with me cos she knows he won't actually do anything but she's like um shut up fearghal] Fearghal: [always loling] Tess: try downers Fearghal: what would the chef recommend Tess: I'm not a walking menu Tess: how full's your wallet? Fearghal: not that full Fearghal: but my gaff is shit enough to make me [sad face] Tess: [draws a him with that sad face at a lemonade stand because lemonade is slang for shit drugs I don't think it's scouse but I'm still doing it] Fearghal: [draws a stickman teacher pissing in his cup] Tess: [😏 before she can help it, let's hope her hair is covering her face enough] Fearghal: [draws a landline phone] 123 what's the time and how long we got left Tess: [draws a clock with the time on as it is now and another one with the time they are allowed to leave as if she's challenging him to be able to tell time lol] Fearghal: not flirting with you or nothing but you got the glasses and pencil skirt or have I gotta fork out for them too Tess: [crosses them both out cos she doesn't have either of course and underlines the fork out bit like unlucky] Fearghal: tell all me mates your well expensive, fairplay Tess: tell 'em I ain't for sale and you won't get wrecked Fearghal: sure, lemme hit 'em with my next note Fearghal: [throws it at an empty desk like sup lads] Tess: [draws some ghost 90s fuckboys because amused again] Fearghal: [gives 'em stereotypical scouse names like idk, all of the beatles etc] Fearghal: bessie mates, right Tess: stay close to george, the rest are cunts Fearghal: looking out for me so you can do me in yourself Tess: need you to keep the wolves from my door, irish Tess: dead hero's no use Fearghal: so tell me Fearghal: which one am I, spidey Tess: [shrugs but we all know she's a massive nerd] Fearghal: take superman then Fearghal: 'least draw me the S and I'll see if I've got room on me chest Tess: [draws it at him in the air like] Fearghal: [catches it and thumps on his chest like sorted] Tess: [🙄] Fearghal: [draws a crossed-eyed face with glasses and the teacher bun] Tess: [puts a knife in her hand cos very subtle warning there] Fearghal: [draws target on his back] Tess: [😏] Fearghal: what parties are you hitting tonight Tess: every one Fearghal: busy [🐝] Tess: patronising [drawing of a slug because there isn't an emoji how rude] Fearghal: can put the salt away, meant it, honey [🍯💘] Tess: call me honey again and I'll stab you Fearghal: strangeways, here we come Tess: morgue for yous Fearghal: wish it were a promise, blondie Tess: it is, not a soft lad, i don't only put the tip in, like Fearghal: [puts his hand up like sir this girl is flirting with me] Tess: you wish Fearghal: [does daydream bubble above his cartoon head and sighs IRL so wistfully and dramatically] Tess: [writes I'm a doss cunt in the bubble and makes him be crying] Fearghal: awh, well how'd you know Tess: [points to her eyes like I've got them and use them] Fearghal: pretty Tess: [when you cross it out so dramatically cos you're fuming now because 1. we can all imagine the shit josh used to say 2. she's not allowed to live that way 3. thinks he's just flirting with her like the rest cos she's easy] Tess: fuck off Fearghal: [a bit like ?! but has the decency to hide it like shrugging like alright] Tess: [moody silence be like because can't look at him cos then eye contact and don't think about my eyes please] Fearghal: is charlie coming tonight too Fearghal: [coke] Tess: Yeah Fearghal: y'know what time? Fearghal: [price] Tess: [again idk but let's say she writes it there for him obvs] Fearghal: [does thumbs up when he can catch her eye for a sec] Tess: [nods to show that she saw it but those eyes are dead honey] Fearghal: what do you reckon he peps his coffee up with then [gesturing at the teacher who's so out of it] Tess: scotch [draws a 👃 like figured that out ages ago bye] Tess: teacher's highland cream if he had jokes Fearghal: you're funny even if he ain't Fearghal: not giving him that much credit personally, least that's an actual drink Fearghal: I reckon it's straight paint thinner vodka in that black coffee Tess: he likes to actually drink, irish he's not woman having a midlife crisis Tess: that was his wife Fearghal: so it ain't her red wine leftovers in there Tess: it'd be turned to vinegar Fearghal: [draws broken heart] Fearghal: bless him Tess: you sound like you're a woman having a midlife crisis Fearghal: ugly bitch if I am Tess: sound not look, bitch Fearghal: I get it Fearghal: older women are hot Tess: [crosses it out like no thank you] Fearghal: [draws himself with long hair crying] Tess: [starts putting her hand up again but puts it down immediately cos just for the bants] Fearghal: [is 😏] Fearghal: you'd know if I was Fearghal: reps anything to go by Tess: [draws an arrow to the older women are hot comment even though she put a line through it let's say it's still readable and a 💔 next to it] Tess: too young for you Fearghal: you're gutted Tess: [goes over and over the 💔 until it's really dark and emphasised like yeah obvs] Fearghal: eh carve it on the desk so i know its real, blondie Tess: [does because give a shit] Fearghal: [beats whatever is probably written about them in the bathrooms etc] Tess: [taking a sec to deal with her other notes/drug deals while the teacher is drunkenly asleep like] Tess: carve it into his head so i know it's real, fearghal Fearghal: [the rest of y'all better keep your chill enough so he can get it done then you can all run out early tah, 'DOSS CUNT' is the way to go obvs] Tess: [is so 😏 not fake rn at all] Tess: [people be following her like she's the pied piper cos deals to be done] Fearghal: [goes off like he ain't gonna stay but is actually just going for a piss or whatever so the crowd dies down a bit] Tess: [when you're waiting because you need the cash but it looks like you're shamelessly waiting for him] Fearghal: [walks back when the last kid is leaving and makes a face like 'looks like you'd make lots offa him'] Tess: [giving nothing away by your face because in work mode] Fearghal: [when you sit down on a step, wherever and get out a pouch of baccy and a rizla and start rolling 'cos conflicted 'cos got your own shit you have to save for here but also clearly need to get fucked up atm so- but you offer her the first one 'may as well'] Tess: [gives him a death stare like fuck you I can roll my own and probs better than you but still takes it but deliberately doesn't sit cos gotta keep that distance, blowing smoke like you're so furious he's being a time waster when we all know it's good to take a sec actually] Fearghal: [gives an amused little half-laugh on the exhale of his own smoke at her display 'can't charge me for time, still have 20 minutes in there if it weren't for me, blondie' shrugs] Tess: [just got the 🚬 in your mouth so you can pick at the bitten skin around your nails like it's not sore enough already and pretend like he doesn't exist to you] Fearghal: [just whistling to yourself 'cos you can't do silence] Tess: [when you lowkey kick him like shut up omg because can't pretend he's not there if he won't let you and to remind him you still are like are we doing this deal or nah] Fearghal: [slides the cash over to her on the floor like there you go] Tess: [hands him them droogs after she's picked up and counted the cash of course but she's written her name for him on whatever they're in like there you go 'nickname can go die on it's arse now' but we all know she'd die if he called her by her name actually] Fearghal: [breathes out like really? when he sees her name 'cos coincidences everywhere and shakes his head like 'fuck sake' and a little lol 'as long as you don't stab me for it, I'll stick with Blondie, tah'] Tess: [another death stare because what's wrong with my name fuck you and also so glad I bothered telling you then but crosses her name out like it's so casual which makes me lol cos it looks like she's gonna take her drugs back like none for you bye] Fearghal: [just getting up to either get his drugs or money back but still more bemused than mad, like 'nothing personal, babe'] Tess: [shoves his drugs back at him because don't call me babe] Fearghal: [does a cross over his mouth like whoops and pockets the droogs 'tah'] Tess: [just 🚬 like because as he said nowhere to be yet] Fearghal: [when you're just in your thoughts but trying not to be so you gotta lowkey make smalltalk 'you always lived here?'] Tess: ['the accent's not jarg, irish, is yours?' why is that the word for fake okay then] Fearghal: [can just about follow that one lol 'yeah, reckon it'd make me dead popular, nothing like fitting in' gestures at himself up and down with a grin 'cos does not in any way] Tess: [looks him up and down like 😒 don't protest too much babe 'heard you ain't had no issue finding holes to fit yourself in' cos that milf rumor popping off] Fearghal: ['careful, indifference gets to sounding like jealousy if you shout about it' but shrugs like and what?] Tess: [laughs in a way that would be so much like a fuck you 'proper scouse 101, say a cunt's still got a ma and da under one roof, don't come and fuck that ma under the same, however boss she looks in a nightie and slippers'] Fearghal: [makes a face that's so fake shook 'Well now you tell me, Blondie- No bother, 'cos if I can get in, s'the family that's already broken, not the door, give a fuck if some soft lad-' mimics her accent for that bit- 'and his da are gonna cry about it, his mum weren't'] Tess: [shrugs because lbr if that lad was gonna do anything or his dad they already would have and she's done her bit by 'warning' him for next time] Fearghal: [flicks his ash away and coughs 'if they seem desperate to get caught themselves, I'll reconsider next time, maybe'] Tess: ['it's your life, babe' mimics his accent for the babe because have to if he did it first] Fearghal: [nods like 😏 'nah fairplay my accent is well fit'] Tess: [the most disgusted face she can do and still be serious] Fearghal: [just laughing always 'alright then blondie, see you later'] Tess: [nods because inevitably] Fearghal: [time skip to a party] Tess: [girl be working hard drinking some horrible 90s energy drink that's probably worse for you than drugs because much to do] Fearghal: [can only imagine how gone he and Katya are] Tess: [everyone but her lowkey how bored she'd be] Fearghal: [s'not a mood but this party wouldn't really be anyway we all know it Tess: [story of their lives] Katya: [gonna be looking ravey af, the glitter and neon paint would be so real, coming up like 'hello' like you're already mates] Tess: [when she'd be shook because nobody says hello to her ever but covering it well of course and just giving her a look like what do you want because there's only one reason she's here] Katya: ['You look very bored'] Tess: [has to stop herself from loling because caught off guard again as that wasn't what she expected her to say but just looks at her like let me sell you some drugs and then I'll have something to do] Katya: [looks at her and raises an eyebrow like, I don't buy my own drugs 'Would you like something else to drink?'] Tess: [is conflicted af because obviously would because this party is boring af but like is also working and also we know the state of her father and also doesn't like owing people things which reminds her that she owes Fearghal a smoke so she's like 'where's the irish lad?' because thinks they are fucking/know each other better than they do] Katya: [has a look round genuinely like idk let's see but clearly can't see him or she would've babe, rolls eyes but affectionately 'must be upstairs'] Tess: [shrugs like it's so casual but goes to get a real drink cos fuck it] Katya: [is like 'hey!' 'cos she was gonna get it but smiles and stays put 'cos not gonna follow her that hard] Tess: [is probably ages cos getting waylaid by punters but comes back to stand where she was cos Katya is less annoying than the other dickheads here] Katya: [has just been grooving, with lads she wanna, avoiding the ones she don't like 'scuse me, in that vain running up to Tess and being like 'save me' in her ear so this particular one takes the hint] Tess: [death stares whoever it is like off you fuck now cos you don't wanna start shit with her boy] Katya: [shrugs at him like whoops sorry but is 😏 so evidently not 'Мудак' (Mu-dak, specifically for dudes) as she turns back to Tess, shaking her head] Fearghal: [suddenly popping back up like 'Dunno what you just called me but don't reckon I deserve it, like'] Tess: [is also 😏 because amused by Katya's antics anyway but have to keep the expression on around Fearghal of course and puts a 🚬 in his hand immediately like] Fearghal: [looks at it then at her like confusion 'cos high but then 💡 and nods her way like oh yeah, cheers and puts it behind his ear for later and puts an arm around Katya who is squishing his face like 'never!'] Tess: [when they are nothing like Josh or Summer but it reminds her of having friends so she wants to die just drinking too fast like] Fearghal: [the mood so neither of them is gonna call her out on it even though they see it, Fearghal specifically looking at her like 'Celebrating?' and a face like same 'cos doesn't need saying that obvs not but Katya raising whatever she's got like 'Ha За здоровье!'] Tess: [when she just ignores him and cheers Katya with whatever you're drinking as like I'll be off now but then she sees that the gruesome twosome are here and straight up freezes] Fearghal: [when you both look and are both 😒 like eurgh 'cos wouldn't fuck with either of them as is and like everyone knows who they are in relation to Tess so get why she's reacted like that, so he goes off to get more drinks having to go past them like 'scuse me dickheads and Katya turning her back so Tess can stand her ground and not but still look like they having an in-depth convo 'she was your friend' a statement way more than a question 'I think she would like to be you, she is an idiot'] Tess: [watching them kiss and dance together cos can't look away so I hope Fearghal barges into them even if he didn't need to so she can stop and down the rest of her drink to get rid of the taste of blood in her mouth from holding herself back from doing anything else since she's still got drugs on her like we said, can't be starting drama especially with Summer who's 100% that bitch. About to nod at Katya because she was her friend for such a long time but then snapping the fuck out of that instinct and shaking her head because not anymore clearly and scoffing because yeah Summer is an idiot, who'd wanna be her when she doesn't even wanna] Fearghal: [Katya scoffs back 'She would rather be thought pretty and have boyfriend than have things that matters but this is like all girls our age, yes? Silly, knowing nothing about anything.' Fearghal coming back with three of whatever and shoving one at Tess as quick as she did the cigarette, swapping it for her empty, throwing it not at Summer and Josh but in their general direction 'What would you like to do?' Katya adds, taking a swig of her drink 'We can find you more customers if you would like'] Tess: [literally would wanna say something about how much Josh and the family they were meant to be did matter but not drunk enough for that although she blatantly will be soon cos haven't eaten anything in forever probably and would drink like half the drink he just gave her immediately like what could go wrong here. Finally saying 'Yeah' to both things but so quietly they'd struggle to hear it over this rave if they were anybody else and making herself move into the crowd to get customers instead of away which is what she'd wanna do] Fearghal: [she can go off to get all the lads and clearly get so fucked up 'cos all gonna buy her some too 'cos that's the ploy here, whereas he's gonna stay in sight 'cos shamelessly protective and can step in if anything kicks off with those two] Tess: [god bless, not all heroes wear capes lads, I appreciate less lads for Tess to have to deal with as she's getting white girl wasted in this club] Fearghal: [go have a cry you deserve it lbr] Tess: [just in the bathroom like the girly cliche you're not] Fearghal: [have at it honey, shame he can't smack Josh yet really] Tess: [kick everyone out first though you don't need that to be your rep] Fearghal: [meanwhile actually do smack him 'cos any reason at a party where everyone's fucked up] Tess: [hooray for coming back and them being gone] Fearghal: [small blessings, and they've probably shifted a fair amount between 'em so] Tess: [give this smol drunk child her money lads and she'll try not to cry on you] Fearghal: [all the funds for you] Tess: [give them a drug freebie like thanks even if Katya might wanna save hers for later if she's had loads] Fearghal: [I hope you've cheeked some for later or you'll be so skyhigh/about to die lol] Tess: [when she'd just wanna leave but like that's not her life]

[punkscowardschampions]

Rio & Buster

Rio: Distract me and tell me how it is like you haven't just got back there Buster: Summer ain't arrived here yet in any sense, I feel like I'm in a old school gothic novel, staring at the rain & brooding Rio: Awh, baby Rio: just don't go aimlessly wandering through it and catching your literal death Buster: I'm not an invalid 💪 nor an amateur, babe Buster: Just as well, 'cause I saw your snaps & you're obviously already surrounded by the latter Buster: I can easily make them into invalids for you though Rio: Oh, so that's what you were doing Rio: Mr Darcy approach Rio: be mean to girl at party BUT look great in a wet t-shirt = get laid Rio: fair play, babe Rio: 🙄 honestly do, it's properly dickhead night tonight, worse than usual for no reason 'cept I already didn't wanna come in Buster: You know it Buster: 'Prideful but nobel at heart' is basically a summary of me Buster: Is any night not dickhead night? Genuine question, like Rio: Can't argue Rio: so chivalrous 😍 Rio: You've been a punter in enough to know the answer to that Buster: So only when I'm there? Okay, I guess I'll have to come back Rio: Looks like it Rio: Tough job but someone's gotta Buster: Not afraid of hard work, don't worry Rio: Exactly Rio: you need a challenge Rio: school ain't it Buster: Can't argue Rio: How bad did all your mates miss you then Rio: not bad as me, obviously Buster: None of 'em wear lipstick so how bad they missed me is an easy secret to keep Buster: Unlike you Rio: 😏 Rio: Amateurs Rio: and I'll pay for your dry-cleaning, was worth it Buster: Telling me to get friends who do? Please, you'd be so jealous of any girl who got to spend the day with me Buster: Nah, you spent enough on the hotel & that was even more worth it Rio: 😒 Oh tah Rio: make me sound like that bitch 🐇 Rio: You can have whatever friends you wanna, including boys who might wanna glow up, no judgment 💁 Buster: 😂 Rio: I am jealous of anyone and everyone who gets to see you right now though Buster: Tell me about it, I'm even jealous of your undesirable customers Buster: I really miss you, you know Rio: You can tell me about that Rio: you better Rio: 'cos I miss you stupid amounts Buster: All I've done since I got back here is think about you Buster: I'm already in trouble, but I can't & don't wanna stop Rio: What kind of trouble Buster: I have to write lines & they ain't about how much I wanna be with you so it'll be a struggle Rio: I didn't know they still did shit like that Rio: I won't make you write it out but can think of lots of ways you can show me Buster: My school is stuck in a different century, I've told you before Buster: Yeah? Let me know when you've thought long & hard about it then Rio: Could at least make it fun and cane you though Rio: honestly Buster: Like I've also said, there ain't any young, hot female professors to make that a real shame Rio: I remember Rio: Just trying to get distracted, like I said Buster: I approve of how committed you are Buster: Keep trying Rio: 😞 Don't be mean Rio: I don't wanna go back to the flat after this shit either, I miss the hotel Buster: Not mean, motivational Buster: Come on Buster: You could go back to the hotel Rio: Live there Rio: my life ain't that goals yet that they're giving me permanent residency Buster: Well, I was thinking more like get the same room & stay a few more nights to remember & reminisce Buster: If they've fixed the bed Rio: 😏 Don't worry lads, I'm just here to 'reminisce' Rio: I wonder if I could go that hard alone Buster: You have to go & find out Rio: Well if I have to Rio: that settles it Buster: It's the only experiment that'll hold my attention so unless you want me uneducated Rio: Can't have that Rio: gotta keep everyone on side Rio: your parents and professors included Buster: Exactly Rio: 'cos you know I'm so good at keeping it secret, don't lie Buster: I know how good you are at everything Buster: You're a very talented girl Rio: 🤤 Rio: Please Buster: Please, what? Buster: Use your words, baby Rio: Please can this month be over so you can be here again with no need for excuses Buster: You don't need to wait that long, I'll come at the weekend if that's what you want Rio: I can come to you Buster: Whichever Rio: but you can be here all summer, right? Rio: or we can go somewhere Buster: Of course Buster: Think about somewhere you wanna go Rio: I'll start looking Rio: not getting shit for being on my phone enough, obvs Buster: Me too Rio: I don't care Rio: should consider themselves lucky, if you were here, I wouldn't be at work at all so Buster: They are lucky, there's nothing I wouldn't do to have you here right now instead Rio: I really miss you Buster: I know Buster: & You know I feel the same way too Rio: I know Rio: but always like hearing it Buster: Alright, I really fucking miss you, Rio Rio: Name too Rio: you really wanna make me happy 😊 Buster: Yeah, obviously, 'cause I like saying your name as much as you like hearing it Buster: & Making you happy is all I want Rio: It sounds good in your mouth, baby Buster: It tastes good, just like the rest of you Rio: Ugh Rio: you're so hot Rio: why can no one here get close to your level Rio: if they feel they've gotta try Buster: No one anywhere can get on this level Buster: It's only me & you Rio: Yeah Rio: I know that now Rio: had suspicions but now I'm sure Buster: You better, babe Rio: You know I do Rio: wasn't I vocal enough? Buster: You can always give me more Buster: I believe in you Rio: So encouraging Buster: Yeah Buster: [sends a selfie like oh hey to be even more encouraging] Rio: God Rio: This is gonna be so motivational when I finally get off this shift Buster: When's your next break? Rio: How inspirational are you planning to be? Buster: As inspirational as I always am Rio: Give me 10 then Buster: Okay Rio: Hey good looking Buster: 😏 Buster: You're the one who looks fucking beautiful Rio: I'm knackered Buster: Well, you don't look it Buster: What can I do so you don't feel it Rio: Tell me how you're gonna help me relax Buster: So many kisses, of course, I'm just debating where to start Rio: [selfie pointing to her pouting like here] Buster: Baby Buster: I'm gonna make it better Rio: I believe you Buster: Expect a delivery, you need all your other favourite things when you're done since I can't be there Rio: I just Rio: love you Rio: you know Buster: Where are you gonna be, I'll do it now Rio: The hotel Rio: I do want just one more night Buster: Easy then Buster: Prepare to be spoilt, babe Rio: You're the best Buster: I love you & it's even easier to do Rio: Is it so weird being back Buster: Weird ain't the word Rio: I've been worried about you Rio: Know I don't need to but Buster: You're right, you don't Buster: It's only a month, like Rio: I know Rio: but so many people around you suck Buster: I can be a bigger cunt than any of 'em, there's no contest Rio: No Rio: you're such a sweetie Buster: Shut up & keep my secret Rio: 😏 Rio: fine Rio: I like having it just for me Buster: Good 'cause I'm all yours Buster: & There's nothing you can't have, you know Rio: Really? Buster: Really Buster: Anything you want Rio: I just want you Rio: I should think of more but Buster: What more could you want? Like you said, I'm the best Buster: Come see me Rio: Exactly Rio: When? Buster: Whenever you can Rio: I have Wed-Thurs off this week but I can still come Rio: easy enough to entertain myself during the day, get some work done Buster: Be here then Buster: I'll come home for lunch Rio: Find me some cheap hotels that aren't a million miles from you Buster: You can stay, there's nobody in during the day Rio: Are your parents really not gonna realize Rio: or do I have to be really really quiet Buster: You're gonna have to be a good girl at night Buster: Quiet enough they don't hear us on their floor Rio: 😇 Rio: Always, you know that 😏 Buster: I'll take you out if you need to be loud Rio: See how long you last Buster: Always underestimating me, babe Buster: Worry about yourself Buster: But don't 'cause I can handle keeping you quiet too Rio: Nah, just miss your noises 💔 Rio: but that'll make it up to me Rio: I reckon Buster: [sends her a little recording so she doesn't have to miss his voice saying hot things at least] Rio: 🤤 Rio: your voice Buster: [even hotter things said in an even hotter voice] Rio: Daddy Buster: Call me Rio: [Does, obvs] Buster: Do you have to go back now? Rio: Yeah Rio: only got a couple of hours left Rio: but 😞 Buster: I'll be here with you Rio: How are you nicer to me than any boyfriend I've had tbh Rio: even the not crazy ones Buster: I told you, no half measures Buster: Everything I do is 100% or why would I do it, like Buster: & You're the best thing that's ever happened so obviously you're getting the most Rio: You'd have been such a good boyfriend Rio: no wonder they're raging, like Buster: Am I? Rio: Are you what? Buster: A good boyfriend Rio: Are you my boyfriend Buster: Yeah Rio: Oh Rio: then yes Rio: the best Rio: of course Buster: [a selfie that's trying to be OTT smug but just looks happy cos that's how he really feels] Rio: that's my boyfriend Rio: 😋 Buster: I like the sound of that Buster: I never thought I would, but coming from you, it's just Rio: Yeah? Good Rio: I didn't think I'd ever say it so Rio: headfuck but good Buster: Can I tell people I have a girlfriend then? Rio: If you wanna Rio: will make turning everyone down easier, for sure Buster: Not that that's the reason Buster: But agreed Rio: You're cute bye Buster: I'm in love, I don't wanna have to hide that as well as who with, that's all Rio: You don't have to Rio: Me either Rio: just don't make your fake gf absolutely nothing like me or I'll be fuming 😒 Buster: I mean, you've gotta be American, 'cause that makes the most sense Buster: Unlucky like Rio: Truly the worst Rio: I'll deal but it'll be a struggle, like Buster: Loads of 'em are always going on about their 1/9th Irish heritage & shit though so Rio: How do they even work that out Rio: I don't think they know how percentages work, tbh Buster: After having sat in many a maths lesson there, I can confirm Rio: 😂 Rio: You'll take my 1/4th and be happy with it Buster: What do you want your fake name to be? Paris? Sydney? Odessa? Vienna? Buster: So many possibilities, honestly Buster: 😂 Rio: World's your oyster, duh Rio: gotta be Paris Rio: really changed the sex tape game Buster: Have you been there? Rio: No, haven't actually Buster: I'll take you then Buster: You'll like it Rio: That's a trip sorted then Rio: still have to do a guaranteed sun getaway too, obviously Buster: We need at least a week alone somewhere hot & beachy, if not a fortnight Rio: Definitely Rio: Maybe we should save that for the end Rio: right before you have to go back Buster: Good idea Buster: One of the week's anyway, we can do another somewhere else if you have the days Rio: We're gonna go everywhere together Buster: Definitely Buster: I don't wanna go anywhere without my girlfriend Rio: There you go, making me weak Rio: baby 😍 Buster: Lie yourself on that bar, baby Buster: Take a moment Rio: Don't tempt me Rio: though the tips would be amazing Buster: But tempting you is my fave Buster: & You'd look so perfect up there Rio: But I want you here to see Rio: more than see Buster: You can show me Buster: & If I like what I see, when I'm back, I'll lift up there & show my appreciation in person Buster: you* Rio: Challenge accepted Rio: as I'm closing tonight Buster: Good Rio: if we can call it a challenge Rio: obviously, you'll like it Buster: I didn't reckon challenge was the word Buster: Unless you really are that tired Rio: I'm revived now Rio: not to fuel your god complex more than I already do Buster: It ain't your fault worshipping me feels so good that you wanna do it all the time Rio: Can't disagree Rio: just evangelical like that Buster: Yeah Rio: Hard work being an 😇 but I like it Buster: Not being my angel Buster: I'll make sure that's easy Rio: I don't mind if it's hard Rio: I can handle it Buster: I know you can Rio: You're worth any amount of bullshit, for real Buster: I miss you Rio: I miss you too Rio: sleeping without you is shit Buster: It's worse here than when I was away, there was host families & shit around then Buster: I hate it Rio: Babe Rio: I'm sorry Rio: you know I'll always be here though, even though it's just on the phone Buster: Probably too late for me to move schools & to Dublin too, yeah? Rio: Probably Rio: you didn't put in all that hard work and as many years for nothing Rio: gotta let your school's clout work for you or else what was the point, yeah Buster: Obviously, it's just not how I thought it'd be, coming back Rio: What's different? Buster: Me Buster: Us Buster: But too much of the bullshit is still the same Buster: I've wanted to beat the shit out of half my friends today, just for being who they are & were, like Rio: Makes sense Rio: It happens Rio: some of my friends I've got nothing in common with now Rio: and lots of yours were already immature before you really started to change yourself so Rio: it's awkward when you still have to see them though Rio: be part of it and not feel it Buster: I don't know what the fuck to do & uncertainty ain't me Rio: Well Rio: what are your viable options Rio: you can pie 'em all but then, like it or not, you'll be more lonely unless there's other people you wanna be friends with but assumedly you would be already Rio: or you can deal for the sake of company but have to deal with their bullshit without smacking 'em one Buster: I'll just shut myself away studying when you aren't here then 🤓 Done Rio: 😏 Rio: Do you just play football for your school Rio: you should join a team if not, outside of it, they can't all be nightmares too Rio: you'll be fine, fuck them, like Buster: I have a team & all the boxing lads too Buster: Obviously, I'm a delight 👑 everyone loves me Buster: I'm gonna join a new gym for my general workouts though, further from school 'cause your point is valid Rio: As long as it's not as much as me, I'm happy about that Rio: good idea Rio: just do what you gotta to make day to day school bareable Rio: you'll be gone sooner than you know it so Buster: Rio Rio: yeah Buster: Cheers Buster: Shit was feeling like a lot there for a second Rio: 'Course Rio: I'm gonna try and be a good girlfriend too, like Buster: You are Buster: I mean it, I feel well better 'cause of you Buster: Having you here with me, on my side Rio: Get used to it Rio: 'cos that's how you've got it now Buster: I'm doing my best to Buster: At least it's a positive headfuck Rio: As long as it is Rio: I only wanna be good for you Rio: in all the ways I could mean that Buster: It is & you are Buster: I love you so much Rio: I love you the most Buster: There you go again with your underestimation of me, babe Rio: If you wanna make it a competition, babe Rio: don't see how I can lose Buster: You will but it'll feel like a win anyway Rio: Exactly Rio: I want you to love me best Rio: 👑 Buster: Don't I? Buster: You want better, yeah? Okay Buster: Noted Rio: You know you do Rio: I want it forever Buster: I'm yours forever Rio: You'll be hot when you're old Buster: Unless my kids age me horribly Buster: But then I'll go under the knife, like Rio: Would you Buster: With the size of my ego, obviously Rio: Don't get all plastic and non-moving Rio: that ruins the whole point Buster: I know you wanna see all my facial expressions, don't worry Rio: 😏 Buster: [selfie that's basically that emoji but sexier] Rio: rude Rio: indecent Rio: trying to concentrate Buster: Not yet Buster: [sends a pic that's actually rude & indecent] Rio: Well now you're just being Rio: ugh Rio: I can make everyone leave early right Rio: that'd go down well Buster: It's what they deserve for being cunts Buster: Concentrate on me Rio: I can't not Rio: tried that Rio: didn't work, not worth it Buster: I can't focus on anything but you either Rio: I really will have to start helping you study Buster: Please Rio: 🤤 I mean Rio: I was going to but since you were polite Buster: What can I say? You've taught me that much already Rio: You're a good pupil Buster: I'm a quick learner, yeah, but I'm an even better teacher Rio: Are you now Buster: Deny it Buster: You've never regretting following a single instruction from me, have you? Rio: No but Rio: if I started thinking about this fantasy I ain't gonna wait 'til they're gone Buster: Don't wait Rio: Is that an instruction or an idea Buster: I'm telling you, not asking you Rio: Yes sir Buster: Don't just say what I wanna hear Buster: Do it for me Rio: Everyone's looking at me Rio: but I am Buster: Everyone's always looking at you Rio: I can't handle it right now Rio: trying to focus Buster: So focus Rio: Okay Buster: Priorities, babe Buster: [sends her something motivational, wink wonk] Rio: I did promise I'd do better Rio: I meant it Rio: You deserve it, look at you Buster: You deserve it more, I don't even have to look at you to know or mean it Rio: [Sends 😳 pic anyway] Rio: I want you to look at me Buster: I can't look away now Buster: Fuck Rio: you are meant to be teaching me here Rio: lead by example Rio: show me how it's done Buster: [obviously shows her a lot of things but I'm loling imagining like an 80s instructional video] Rio: Good thing it is so loud in here Rio: oh my god Buster: & Warm 'cause you're gonna work up a sweat following my lead Rio: I'm already so red Rio: but I can get hotter Buster: Red suits you Rio: Yeah? Buster: Of course, that lipstick didn't just look good on my collar, like Rio: 🤤 Rio: If you like it that much I better show you what I'm wearing under what I'm wearing Rio: ['cos of course a bitch would wear red under white lmao] Buster: 😍 Buster: See, I'm always right Buster: You look so fucking good Rio: I feel it Rio: you're so right Buster: I can tell Buster: You're really making me feel better too Rio: Good Rio: Don't forget who you are Buster: How could I? I'm yours Rio: You're mine Rio: and I only deserve the best of everything Rio: that's you Buster: We've both got the best of everything, that's this Buster: I'm never gonna forget that Rio: Promise Buster: I promise you, Rio Rio: Not just for me, you know Rio: I never won't care about you Buster: Good, 'cause you're the only person I've cared about for such a long time Buster: I'll love you forever Rio: I'll love you forever too Rio: no matter what Buster: You can, you're safe with me, no matter what Rio: I trust you Buster: Even if you're the only person who ever says that to me, I don't care Rio: I won't be Buster: It's you I wanna hear it from anyway Rio: Easy Rio: it's true Rio: no matter how much I like making you happy, I'm never saying anything I don't mean Buster: Me either Rio: That's why I trust you Rio: you've definitely said some bullshit in the past but on the whole Rio: you don't lie like most people do Rio: without even knowing they are Buster: It's a self-preservation thing for me, but I'm developing better habits for coping now, like Buster: Loving you being the main one Rio: Beats heroin Buster: Good to know, babe Buster: Haven't tried it myself Rio: Shut up Rio: Idiot Buster: 😂 Rio: You think I'm so scummy 😒 Buster: No, I don't Buster: I think you're a goddess, you know that Rio: [sends dramatic pouty selfie] Buster: Baby Buster: How else can I treat you like one? The hotel's been sent so many treats for you Buster: Do you want more? Rio: You don't need to do that Rio: I'm only playing Buster: It's done Buster: [let's say he's also just sent flowers to arrive at the pub before she finishes cos extra like that] Rio: Buster Buster: Rio Rio: You can't keep spoiling me like this Buster: Yes I can Buster: It's literally the least I can do Rio: You are so lovely Rio: too good Buster: You mean good enough for you Buster: That's what I am Rio: No, too good Rio: but I'll keep you anyway Buster: You're too good & I'm keeping you Rio: I need to up my game Rio: motivational always, babe Buster: Me too Buster: So much work to do Rio: Teamwork 💪 Buster: Cheers for the reminder I need to hit the gym as well Rio: Don't worry, all that we do 100% counts as a full body workout Buster: Only if you wanna go again for a few more hours Rio: Who do you think you're talking to rn Buster: An angel, obviously Buster: A good girl like you can't take the risk of getting fired Rio: They'd never fire me Rio: the only reason to drink here, like Buster: Oh so you wanna test the limits? Okay I'm good at that Rio: You know I like breaking boundaries Rio: that along with how much I always want you isn't exactly news Buster: Just 'cause I know it don't mean I don't wanna hear you say it again Rio: I wish you were here Rio: not just so I could tell you all the things I wanna Rio: but it's so rude I never got to close up whilst you were here Buster: Make sure you do in summer then Buster: Or give me a weekend sooner Rio: 'Course Rio: I'll get to more now Rio: Shona and Mark always wanted to do it 'cos they were having a really blatant affair but that's on the rocks so Buster: Their loss is our gain Rio: Soz babes Rio: they're both married so console yourselves with your neglected partners, like Buster: Or cheat outside the workplace Buster: Either/or Rio: Don't reckon we can judge anyone for doing things they shouldn't, babe 😏 Buster: Everything I'm doing I definitely should Rio: Hey, I think so too Buster: Though, it could be argued that my strong desire to say fuck it & catch a flight to be with you goes against that Buster: By several people if not me Rio: I've said it hundreds of times Rio: no need for school to be in person Rio: but you know Rio: 'til then, baby Buster: My school needs to stop being so old fashioned & let us study online Rio: We've all been socialized enough by our age, lbr Rio: ugh, real life Rio: what a drag Buster: Even my parents would struggle to deny how much socialisation I've had Buster: They've seen the aftermath of every house party, like Rio: 🙄😏 Exactly Buster: Your visit will keep me going though Rio: 'Course Rio: that's the plan, like Buster: Do you wanna stay in, go out or both? Rio: Hmm Rio: Should probably go out Rio: so we don't become hermits, for one Rio: and so I have things to post for all these weekends away Rio: besides pictures of you that are trying to look like not pictures of you Buster: Well, as long as we leave this postcode we ain't gonna run into the cunts I know Buster: The rest of London is all ours, babe Rio: Easy Rio: World definitely does not start and end in SW, like Rio: don't tell 'em or nothing Buster: I'll take you shopping, buy you more red Rio: 💖 Rio: We are gonna need city break AND beach resort wear so Rio: a must, really Buster: Exactly Buster: We're not gonna wear the shit we did last summer, fuck that Rio: Not even for the mems Buster: Okay, I admit I might keep some from this one Buster: 'Cause the memories will just be Rio: 😍 Rio: So adorable Buster: I'll probably give most of it to you for when you miss me though Rio: Why are you trying to kill me Rio: It'll be the best summer in Rio: forever Rio: I swear Buster: I haven't looked forward to going back there this much since we were kids, you know Buster: Unsurprising that again it's your fault, like Rio: I'll take the credit, happily Rio: even though I will have to share you some of the time so it's not suspect Buster: Yeah, I'll show up for granddad as per Buster: Be less of a drunken mess this time though maybe Rio: You what Buster: So you want me to get wasted then? Rio: Oh, I thought you was calling ME a drunken mess Rio: like rude and untrue 😂 Buster: I know my memories of fam functions ain't that reliable but I can safely say I reckon calling you out for that would make me a next level hypocrite even if you were Rio: You can try it like but I could be that bitch and scroll 'til I find evidence Buster: You're alright Rio: 😂 Rio: You don't wanna relive those memories, then? Rio: fair Buster: Are you telling me you do? Rio: Probably not Rio: I try not to think about before Christmas Buster: You don't have to, we're gonna make so many more good memories for you to think about instead of that bullshit Rio: It wasn't all bad Rio: idk Rio: a lot was but Buster: Regardless, I'm gonna do better Rio: Me too Rio: no more wasted time Buster: I love you Rio: I love you Rio: are you gonna invite me to your birthday this year or what Buster: Before I decide, are you gonna jump out of a cake for me or not? Rio: I know how you feel about being upstaged, babe Buster: You know you're the exception Rio: Then sure Rio: I'll stick to the strict non-costume dresscode this time Buster: Like I said, those rules don't apply to you, if you wanna wear a costume, I won't be mad Rio: 😏 Rio: Keep it as a maybe Buster: Alright Rio: is Halloween after-all Rio: how gutting, you have to share with your sister AND a holiday, like Buster: Don't Rio: Poor boy Rio: I'll make you feel special this year, don't worry Buster: Yeah, you will Rio: What did you do for your 16th anyway? Buster: I know you saw all my holiday pics, don't act like you didn't Rio: 🙄 Of course Rio: That one kept showing me how lavish he was living, even if I was trying to ignore you at the time Buster: You didn't post as much as I expected on yours though Rio: Meh Rio: Standard party Rio: can't drink, can't drive Rio: weird birthday to rate in this country, like Buster: Fuck that we're having another sweet 16 for you this summer then Buster: Me & you Rio: 😂 it's alright, you can say you don't fancy our chances of making it to december, like Buster: I'm serious Buster: Pick a day & that'll be your birthday re-do Rio: It wasn't THAT bad, babe Buster: You're really turning down a day of me doing whatever you say or giving you whatever you want? Buster: Who am I talking to right now, like Rio: I thought I got that all summer 😉 Buster: I like telling you what to do too much Rio: Lucky for you I like that too Buster: Lucky ain't the word Rio: I miss you Rio: you can still tell me what to do from far away but sometimes I just need you to make me, you know Rio: I can only be so good when you ain't here Buster: I miss you too, baby Buster: I'll see you really soon though, yeah? Buster: Book your flights Rio: Yeah Rio: I will Rio: everyone has finally pissed off, pretty much Buster: Good 'cause I was about to get on a plane & kick 'em out for you Rio: ♘ Rio: our security is laughable, like Rio: bless 'em Buster: Don't tell me that Buster: Now I really am gonna have to get you a new job Rio: You're so cute Rio: I'm just saying, I do a beter job of getting them to shift than Mike, who's probably starting a game of pool or something Buster: I'll have a word with him next time I'm there then Rio: He's pushing 60 Rio: you big bully 😂 Buster: An actual word not a word 🥊 Buster: Behave Rio: 😘 Rio: Not my fault you look hot in the ring Buster: I look hot whatever I'm doing & wherever I am, like Buster: I've got a fight coming up actually though, 'cause there weren't no time to do more than practice in the US, you can come if you want Buster: [sends her the deets] Rio: If you say so, baby Rio: Sure, I can bring Janis Buster: You should be saying so, babe Buster: Yeah, she'll be into seeing me win Rio: Come on Rio: have to tease you sometimes Rio: just keeping you on your toes, it's practice Rio: you're welcome 😉 Buster: I'll forgive you only 'cause of that seamless 🥊 tie in Buster: Not 'cause I like being teased, obviously Rio: 'Course not Rio: I'll never tell Buster: It gets hotter every time you say that Rio: You like secrets too Buster: I like our secrets Rio: They're the best kind, obviously Buster: 'Course Rio: What other secrets you got then 👀 Buster: You know I ain't ever been able to keep any from you Rio: 😏 Good answer Rio: you sure you've not had a girlfriend before, like Buster: Shut up, it's true Buster: Whether I've always liked or not Buster: You pay too much attention Buster: Such a mum, like Rio: How rude Rio: calling me nosy Rio: you just weren't that good at keeping secrets Rio: you've got better, all this practice Buster: 'Cause I wanted people to notice, obviously Rio: Yeah Rio: I know Buster: I can keep secrets when I want to, don't worry Rio: I know that too, baby Buster: Why do you think I keep telling you how smart you are? Rio: You love complimenting me Buster: Yeah, but not lying to you Buster: They have to be true Rio: You're just nice Rio: you think they're all true Buster: They are all true Rio: I'm not gonna fight it Buster: Good, don't Rio: I'm not stupid Rio: you can think whatever good thing you wanna Buster: Yeah, I can Buster: Clearly, 'cause I do Rio: Shh Buster: I'd like to see you try & make me Rio: That is a challenge Rio: if you wanted me to get you to make some noise Rio: no problem Rio: Hmm Buster: 😏 Buster: Well, if you can't do it, you can't do it Rio: Did I say that, boy Buster: It was heavily implied, but alright Rio: 😒 Buster: Calm down & rise to the challenge Rio: I am Rio: be patient Buster: Fine, I'll do my best Rio: You'll have to Rio: I'm busy Buster: Like I said, fine Rio: [video from on that bar like hey] Rio: don't you dare be anything other than speechless Buster: [reaction vid because they just that extra] Rio: I'm saving that for the hotel Rio: finally leaving Buster: It's only fair 'cause I'm saving yours forever Rio: Glad to know you aren't deleting everything now Buster: I never did Buster: I've still got it all Rio: Cheek Rio: you made me Buster: Did you actually? Buster: Come on Rio: What if I did Rio: you owe me Buster: If you did that's a rookie mistake Rio: Don't be rude Rio: meanie Buster: Don't be an amateur, you're better than that Rio: You're the one that freaked, boy Rio: I didn't delete it anyway 😏 Buster: Fuck off Buster: I did not Rio: You so did Rio: know it was a while ago but please Buster: You so did Rio: I don't recall bribing my sister Buster: Well, you should recall that it worked, first of all & second of all, that's not losing my shit that's handling it Buster: You were the one who looked like you were gonna puke or cry, babe, that's what I recall Rio: 🙄 Rio: You definitely weren't looking at me Rio: drama queen Buster: I shouldn't have been which you should know means I definitely was Rio: Mhmm Buster: & Don't call me a drama queen Rio: 😂 Rio: That's what you're taking issue with Buster: Yeah Buster: I already knew you weren't as good under pressure as me, like Rio: Fuck off Buster: Calm down, nobody is Rio: You're ridiculous Buster: Shut up Rio: You Buster: I'm not the one taking the piss, that's you Rio: Poor baby Buster: Stop Rio: I'm only joking Buster: 'Course Rio: Don't be moody Buster: I ain't Buster: I just don't need the reminders of how close we came to fucking everything up Rio: but we didn't Buster: Still Buster: We're gonna have an entire summer that literally starts with a fam function Rio: You worried? Buster: Obviously not, we can handle it, but Rio: It'll be easier, if anything Rio: if you think about it Rio: less tension Buster: That's true, finally getting to fuck you did clear the air, a little Rio: Lovely 😏 Rio: People were only looking 'cos we was making a holy show Rio: I still maintain she didn't see anything anyway Rio: it'll be good, promise Buster: I still maintain it's not my fault you're the most distracting person to ever exist Rio: Who's gonna blame you Rio: true Buster: Whoever wants to can try but I don't care Buster: Being your boyfriend feels right & is probably the best thing I've done Rio: Yet Buster: Yeah, so far Buster: We're gonna do epic shit together, remember Rio: Yeah Rio: and just in general Buster: That goes without saying, we are who we are, like Rio: Not staying in that pub forever Rio: not the plan Buster: You ain't staying in that pub a second longer than you need to Rio: I don't hate it Rio: just gets boring Buster: You don't have to hate something to want better than it Rio: Yeah Rio: it's just about getting out there Rio: getting known Buster: You know what you're doing Rio: Cheers Rio: you're probably the only one that reckons so but me Buster: I'm the only one who really knows you other than yourself, so it stands to reason Rio: Do you think that's fucked or normal Buster: It's normal for this family & that's the one we've grown up in Rio: Yeah Rio: it's just weird to think about Buster: You don't have to think about it Rio: It's not a choice, like Buster: Yeah, it is Buster: Change it or move on from it Rio: Again Rio: how is that up to me Rio: I'm not being fake Rio: I can't force people to look deeper if they don't want to Buster: It's up to you to accept it or not Buster: Most people you'd have to open up to in order to change things aren't people you'd have to force to listen Rio: It's not that deep Rio: people don't need to know people like that Buster: You're the one telling it's weird Buster: I didn't say it Buster: I'm alright with my own circumstances, cheers Rio: Weird doesn't equal bad Rio: it is weird Rio: I've got loads of friends Rio: almost as much family Buster: Weird has more negative connotations than it does positive but whatever Rio: Not in my fam Buster: 😂 Rio: I'm being disappointingly normal Rio: far as they're aware, anyway Buster: Plenty of time for you to change that Buster: You ain't even 16 until we have your birthday again Buster: Whenever that re-do is gonna be Rio: Really repping 'barely' legal Rio: probably boost the views, tah Buster: You're welcome Rio: 😬🤢 Buster: You know you couldn't be normal on any day though, yeah? Buster: Not on my level Rio: I can tell that was meant a compliment so Rio: thanks Buster: It is, you're literally extraordinary Rio: Shut up Rio: you're such a nerd Buster: I'm keeping up with you, I keep telling you Rio: I love you Buster: You'll love me more when you get to the hotel & see everything that's waiting there for you Buster: Miss me less too Rio: 😍 Rio: I'd run rest of the way if I had more sensible shoes on Buster: I'd carry you if I could, but alas Rio: When wouldn't you Buster: You love it almost as much as you love me so shh Rio: 👑 Buster: You're so cute Rio: Yours Rio: you gotta look after me Buster: When don't I? Rio: Don't forget, that's all Buster: I won't Rio: Good Rio: I wish you were holding me right now Buster: Me too, baby Rio: I feel lonely too Buster: Don't Buster: I'm always here even when I'm not there Rio: I'm just letting you know Rio: I feel it too Buster: I knew that Buster: It ain't opposites that actually attract, is it Buster: I told you before that we're the same Buster: & We are, about shit that matters Rio: Think what you wanna of my previous choices Rio: and it'd probably be fair Rio: but never been following that cosmo level of advice, like Buster: I don't reckon I'm the right person to judge any of your choices Rio: Where's that realization come from? Buster: I've never let it stop me before 'cause I didn't want it to stop me before Buster: Don't mean I wasn't aware of the fact it wasn't my place Rio: Fair enough Rio: it's not like I didn't know Rio: or others weren't Buster: Yeah well Buster: There's only one me & I'm responsible for myself so Rio: I don't care, don't worry Buster: I care Buster: About you Buster: & Doing better Rio: Okay Rio: then it's okay Buster: Good Rio: All that's in the past Rio: I don't think about it anymore Buster: Yeah Buster: I only think about the future too Rio: We can try anyway, yeah Buster: Of course Rio: Let's stop talking about it Rio: we're not meant to lie Buster: I haven't lied Rio: Alright Buster: Do you wanna try again? I reckon you could easily sound more like you don't believe me Rio: It's got fuck all to do with believing you Buster: What then? Rio: I said, I don't wanna talk about it Rio: think about it Buster: Fine Rio: No it isn't Rio: you don't get what I mean Buster: Well, either explain it to me or don't Rio: If you're gonna be like this about it then forget it Buster: Jesus Christ Buster: I'm not being like anything Buster: I'm just saying, if you want me to understand something, tell me about it Rio: I don't want to start shit for no reason Rio: but yeah now I am thinking about it Rio: and you've said a lot worse to me than about having shit boyfriends Buster: What's your point? Buster: I was there, I know I have Rio: My point? Rio: Maybe it ain't alright Rio: I don't know Buster: It obviously isn't Buster: I've never said it was Rio: I did Buster: Don't Buster: I'm not asking you to Rio: It isn't just that Rio: saying it Rio: it's everything Rio: everything I do Buster: Do things differently then Buster: You're not my doormat, you're not anyone's Rio: You're still telling me what to do Rio: that's fucked Rio: I'm fucked Rio: I've got to go Buster: Okay Rio: Don't Buster: What? Buster: If I tell you to stay that's telling you what to do too Rio: Don't say it's okay when it clearly isn't Buster: If you need to go, you need to go Buster: I'm not gonna say fuck you, am I? Rio: This is pointless Buster: What do you want? Rio: Maybe actually kill him Rio: that might work Buster: Alright Rio: Right Rio: I'm going home Buster: That's not gonna help Buster: You know that Rio: I don't want to be alone Buster: You're not Rio: I've got to be the one to say it, yeah? Buster: Apparently so Rio: Fine Rio: it's not always the same Rio: I need someone here Buster: I'll get on a plane right now Buster: Just wait Rio: You can't Buster: I can Buster: & I will Rio: No Rio: There's no need Rio: I just need to be around other people then I'll be fine Buster: You won't be fine, that's bullshit Rio: But I will be if you come, will I? Buster: Don't be stupid Buster: Obviously not Rio: That's me Rio: stupid doormat Buster: Fuck's sake Buster: That's not you, stop this Rio: You said it, not me Buster: I said the opposite actually Rio: No, you said that I needed to change Buster: No, I said you don't need excuse how much of a cunt I was Buster: & Yeah, you can always change if you want, which you said you did Rio: Well you implied plenty by telling me I WEREN'T your doormat Buster: I told you, you aren't anyone's so you don't have to act like you are & tell me what I wanna hear Rio: Are you seriously talking about that right now Rio: that has nothing to do with it Buster: It has to do with why I said it Buster: So don't put words in my mouth Rio: I wasn't acting like anything, that's bullshit Buster: Oh my fucking god Buster: You know exactly what I mean Buster: Pick your battles, like Rio: Shut up Buster: Don't Rio: Whatever Buster: I'm not gonna let you provoke me into having a fight with you Buster: Just go home Rio: I'm on my way Rio: this conversation can be over Buster: Consider it over then Rio: Yeah 'cos I'm the one that needs to Buster: With that attitude, yeah, you do Rio: I've got more to worry about right now than my attitude Rio: sorry Buster: All the more reason to go & focus on that Buster: So goodnight, like Rio: I'm in a cab Rio: too far to walk Rio: but okay Rio: night Buster: I never assumed you were walking in those shoes, babe Buster: But cheers for the clarification on that much Rio: Should've tried for a lift but you know Buster: Too late now Rio: Figured if he's not in and I have to text him, he'll already think I wanna fuck him Rio: can't risk it Buster: What are you talking about? Rio: Drew Rio: he's the only other person who knows enough about this to talk to Buster: So you're going home to talk to him Rio: What did you think I meant Buster: You said you wanted to be around people, not have a heart to heart with the local drug dealer Rio: if I just wanted oblivious people near me I'd go home home Buster: That could've been what you meant as far as I've been made aware Rio: You said the conversation was over Buster: It hadn't been a conversation before then Rio: It's hard to talk about this stuff Buster: So you'd rather talk to Drew about it? That makes sense Rio: Yeah, it does Rio: I've told you, it's embarrassing it's Rio: too much Rio: with you Buster: You also said you trust me Buster: But whatever Rio: It isn't about trust Buster: If you can't talk to me about anything, whatever it is, then yeah, this conversation is over Rio: Fine Buster: Of course it is, you'd rather talk to him anyway Rio: Yeah, was waiting for that Buster: Well, I aim to please Buster: You're not gonna be disappointed Rio: Cute Buster: Yeah, I know Rio: Don't worry about it Buster: Why would I? Buster: I'm only in love with you, like Rio: I am sorry about that Rio: really Buster: Don't fucking say that to me Rio: What do you want me to say, Buster Rio: I am Buster: You're the best thing that's ever happened to me, you know that Buster: Why would I ever wanna hear that? Buster: You're not a mistake I've made, none of this is anything to apologise for Buster: Fucking hell Rio: You might not want to hear it but I want to say it because Rio: it breaks my heart that that's true Buster: I don't wanna hear it 'cause it's bullshit Rio: Not to me Buster: Yeah to you, 'cause this isn't what you really think, it's what that cunt thinks & has tried to make you think Rio: I'm a mess Rio: why would I wish that on you Buster: You're got no more shit than anyone else has Buster: Why would you want me to be alone? Rio: I don't want you to be alone Buster: Well, I don't wanna be with anyone but you so if you're gonna push me away, you clearly do Rio: No I don't Rio: it's just not that easy Buster: I want you, forever, no matter what, it's that simple as far as I'm concerned Buster: There's nothing you can say that'll change my mind Buster: & There's even less that cunt could say Rio: I'm sorry Rio: everything is shit Buster: No it's not, he is Buster: But I'm gonna kill him Rio: He always knows what to say Buster: It's not gonna happen anymore Rio: It's like Rio: the way he says things Rio: like he knows me better than anyone Rio: even me Buster: He doesn't know you, Rio Buster: He's just knows what works Buster: On literally one part of you Rio: It shouldn't work Rio: I should be stronger Buster: It ain't about strength Buster: We've all got shit can be exploited Rio: I swear Rio: I ignore him so much Rio: whatever he's saying or doing Buster: I know Buster: That's strength, babe Rio: Just sometimes, when I already don't feel all that great Rio: it's easier to listen Rio: or harder to ignore, idk Buster: If anyone understands how easy it is to give into negative impulses or self destructive bullshit, it's me, yeah Buster: You can always talk to me Rio: It's like Rio: I just want to be better Rio: you've seen too many of my worsts Buster: Don't do it for me, I already think you're the fucking best Buster: Nobody has ever made me feel like you make me feel Buster: They've never even tried Rio: I want it for myself too, obviously Rio: I wanna be the person you see Buster: Then obviously I'll do whatever I can to help you Buster: I know I'm too blunt & I make everything black & white & I'll never understand what you saw in him or half the shit that's happened 'cause of but I'll do anything for you Rio: Attention Rio: that's what I saw in him Rio: he was always at the same parties, he was nice to me, you know Buster: Well, alright I'll correct myself then, 'cause I do understand that Rio: It wasn't supposed to be deeper than that Buster: Him wanting it to be more than that is the only thing I can't blame him for Buster: 'Cause you're perfect Rio: Buster Buster: Rio Rio: I still don't know why you like me Rio: but I'm glad you do Buster: I love you & I'm going to forever Rio: you can't help that Rio: but you could choose not to like me Buster: That'd be a bad choice & I'm not making 'em anymore Buster: & You do know all the reasons why Buster: I'm not gonna let you forget just 'cause that's what he wants Buster: Who the fuck is he? We get what we want Rio: Yeah Rio: ugh Rio: no chance we can forget this ever happened, I suppose? Buster: Nah, but I won't hold it against you that it did Rio: Alright Rio: that's fair Buster: & It won't happen again after I kill him so Rio: I wanna think about you now Rio: not him Buster: Okay Buster: Are you back yet? Rio: Yeah Buster: Is that where you wanna be still? Buster: I can get you another cab if not Rio: I'll stay here Rio: I'd still rather have people nearby Rio: but I don't wanna talk to him now Buster: Is Indie home? Rio: Yeah Rio: school night Rio: must be planning on going Buster: Helping her with her homework won't be as fun but she'll cheer you up Rio: Yeah, normalcy is welcome Rio: if not the absolute ideal, obviously Buster: I'll allow it Buster: That kind of understanding god, like Rio: Why I love you Buster: Yeah Rio: You know I love you Rio: don't ever doubt it Buster: Don't you ever doubt it Buster: That I love you & you're worthy of me Rio: I know Buster: There's a reason you're the only girlfriend I've ever had & it's not that I just really wanted to keep it in the fam Rio: 😂 Rio: Don't make me laugh Buster: Your laugh is cute & you can't stop me Rio: You're cute Rio: I missed you Buster: I miss you Buster: Just come & move in for this month, yeah? Rio: Yeah Rio: sure Rio: we'd get away with it, easy Buster: We could Buster: Say yes for real & I'll make the rest happen Rio: Baby Rio: you know I wanna too Buster: Then why not? Your job is boring, he's there & it's nearly summer so Indie's as focused on that as we are Rio: There must be reasons Rio: though when you put it like that Buster: There are loads of reasons why you should Buster: I'll look after you & neither of us have to feel lonely Rio: Say I did say yes Rio: why do I need to be in London for a month Rio: and will your parents let me stay Buster: Tell everyone your boyfriend's here Buster: I'm letting you stay, I'm here more than they both are Buster: But I'll get you a hotel if you don't want the questions, like Rio: Not for a whole month you won't Rio: but it's feasible Rio: hmm Buster: Say yes then Rio: I would have to sort stuff first Rio: giving in my notice, for one Buster: Of course Rio: and tell Indie Rio: and all the others Buster: Yeah but then you'll come be with me Rio: Providing that all goes okay Rio: then yeah Buster: Alright Rio: is this stupid Buster: Stupid ain't the word Rio: It feels like this can't happen Buster: No risk no reward Buster: Trust me babe Buster: If you want it, you can have it Rio: 'Course I want it Rio: I always wanna be with you Buster: Then we'll sort it Buster: Easy Rio: We've still got to be good though Rio: you go to school, I'll work Buster: 😇 Rio: 😏 Rio: Convincing Buster: I'll be so good, I swear Rio: Yeah? Buster: Hold me to it, baby Buster: I'll make you feel so good too Rio: I need you Buster: You can have me every day Rio: All to myself Buster: Just me & you Buster: All night as well Buster: As soon as you're ready Rio: I'm gonna sort it Rio: fast as I can Buster: I know Buster: I just need you too Rio: You do Rio: you don't just want me to come 'cos of all this Ryan shit, do you Buster: Obviously I want to get you away from him, but I'd still need you here if he didn't exist Buster: That's about us, not him Buster: I love you & I want you Buster: Even more than I wanna kill him Rio: Okay Rio: I just had to ask Rio: I wouldn't want to come if it was just that Buster: It's never gonna be just that Rio: I know Buster: It is gonna be okay Buster: I promise Rio: Yeah Rio: he's just annoying Rio: that's all Buster: Annoying ain't the word Buster: But we don't need to talk about him anymore if you don't want Rio: I'm so excited Buster: Yeah? Rio: Obviously Rio: how could I not be when you've already promised to be so good to me Buster: I'll keep every promise Buster: But actions do speak louder so, just wait until you're here Buster: If you reckon you're excited now, like Rio: 🤤 Rio: You're hot Buster: You're hotter Rio: Gonna be Rio: you won't ever want me to leave, like Buster: I already don't Rio: Then I'll just have to stay Buster: Please Rio: Please what, babe? Buster: Stay forever Rio: Alright Rio: I will Rio: gonna need a bigger bag Buster: That's a given for summer anyway Buster: Do you have one? Rio: Yeah, at my parents Rio: I'll get it and tell them tomorrow probably Buster: Get some coke to help you pack, it really worked for me Rio: 😂 Rio: Not the worst idea you've ever had Buster: How many times do we have to go over the fact I have no bad ideas Rio: Keep proving me wrong, babe Rio: welcome it always Buster: Keep making it sound so hot & I won't be able to help myself Rio: Please Buster: Since you asked so nicely Buster: I'll lose control for you, babe Rio: Good Rio: it's all I really want Rio: today, anyway 😏 Buster: Tell me what you want tomorrow too & I'll get a headstart, like Rio: 😂 Rio: Be more you Rio: not necessarily tomorrow's request but wouldn't be mad Buster: I'm not mad that there's no challenge there Buster: Keep that secret for me though, yeah? Rio: Of course Rio: not everything has to be one to be fun, yeah Rio: I coulda told you that ages ago Buster: I don't reckon I would've listened ages ago Rio: Probably not Rio: all talk, you were Buster: Shut up Rio: 😘 Rio: Bless Buster: Behave Rio: I don't wanna Rio: I miss you Buster: I'll call you if you're good Rio: How good have I gotta be Rio: and for how long Buster: Depends how long you want me to talk to you for Rio: 'Til I fall asleep, obviously Rio: who am I Buster: Well, how tired are you right now, then? Rio: Not very Rio: why, are you? Buster: No Rio: is that a no no or a not going to admit it no Buster: It's a 'how could I be tired when I miss you this hard' no Rio: Good Rio: only ever trying to exhaust you in fun ways not actual Buster: Don't be doubting my stamina Rio: You could still be jetlagged Rio: my poor baby Buster: I'm as fine as I can be without you here Rio: So soon Buster: I'm gonna make you so happy every day that you're staying, I swear Rio: You always do Rio: I dunno how I went without before Buster: You don't ever have to now Buster: Wherever I go, I'm bringing you with me Buster: Literally as much as possible, but always on my phone if not Rio: Not that I'm needy or anything 😏 Buster: You know I like it Buster: & That I want you just as bad every time Rio: That's why I don't feel weird Rio: or mind letting you know Buster: That's why you're the only girl I've ever really wanted Rio: Yeah Rio: I feel it too Rio: we're just the same Rio: in loads of ways Rio: but especially that way Buster: Exactly Buster: I didn't know it was possible to actually be this compatible with someone Rio: I can't even bring myself to be mad that it's you, of all people Rio: not anymore Buster: Excuse you Buster: So impolite Rio: Obviously not personal, silly Buster: Good backtrack, babe Rio: I meant 'cos you're my cousin, duh Buster: You also meant 'cause I used to be such a cunt though Rio: Well I didn't but you know Buster: Say that you're lucky to have me Rio: Really Buster: Come on Buster: Be nice Rio: You know I love you Rio: 'course I am Buster: [calls cos he said he would if she was a good egg]

[punkscowardschampions]

Jimmy & Janis

Jimmy: [later but still the same night clearly] Jimmy: Turn your location on, I need my jacket back Janis: fuck off, no you don't Jimmy: I wouldn't be chatting to you if I didn't Janis: it can wait Jimmy: it's freezing Jimmy: don't be a dickhead Janis: so cold you need two jackets now Jimmy: unless you're offering to hug it out Janis: as much as I want you to suffer Janis: has your sister not put a key through for you Jimmy: 🎻🎻🎻 Jimmy: are you gonna tell me where you are or what? Janis: I'd rather come to you Jimmy: go on then Janis: Where are you then Jimmy: [sends his location but lbr he's just walking] Janis: alright Janis: be there in a few Jimmy: 👌 Janis: you should go to the 24 hour tescos Janis: kill some time Jimmy: subtle Jimmy: what do you need? Janis: nothing, you idiot Janis: it's a tip Janis: 24 hour gyms are better but you'll need a membership usually Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: I'll funnel my hard earned tips into that next time my dad decides to be a massive knobhead Janis: some of them ain't that pricey, one near the CG actually Jimmy: alright rich girl, I'm gonna stop you there Janis: it's like a fiver a month Janis: one pack of cigarettes less, not even Jimmy: you're not my real girlfriend, no need to have a chat about how I spend and save Janis: I'm giving you solutions Jimmy: give me my jacket Jimmy: nowt else Janis: free speech, init Janis: you dickhead Jimmy: you told me to stop talking to you a bit ago Janis: so Jimmy: so now you've got loads to say? Janis: I've always had plenty to say Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: yeah Janis: sums your contribution up Jimmy: leave it out Janis: make me Jimmy: stop flirting with me Jimmy: death's already having a go standing here Janis: you wish Janis: actually so dramatic Jimmy: 💀😍💀 Janis: cute Jimmy: 💕 Janis: do you want a place to stay Jimmy: do you have any decent ideas? Janis: go to mine, I ain't gonna be there Janis: no one will be up Jimmy: Mia might Jimmy: evil never sleeps Janis: I don't think she's actually a rapist, like Janis: you'll be safe Jimmy: you're alright Janis: alright Janis: you got a shed Janis: sleep in that Jimmy: 😂 Janis: what Jimmy: just trying to picture your posh garden summer house, rich girl Jimmy: hang on Janis: yeah Janis: you've got no clue Jimmy: weren't searching for any Janis: then stop chatting shit Jimmy: why? Jimmy: you won't Janis: I've got enough people assuming things wrong Janis: I don't need you Janis: and I ain't assumed shit about you Jimmy: 🎻💔🎻 Janis: you're such a fucking Janis: just shut up, I'm nearly there Jimmy: nah, go on Jimmy: say how you really feel Janis: why Jimmy: why not? Jimmy: plenty on the tip of your tongue so you reckon Janis: so you can sit there and chat shit back Janis: yeah, no thanks Jimmy: it ain't shit just 'cause it ain't what you want me to say back Janis: nah, it's shit by your own admittance Janis: literally just said it Jimmy: now you're listening Jimmy: 👌 Janis: I've been listening Janis: what do you want Jimmy: when? Janis: when haven't I Janis: what are you talking about, go on Jimmy: don't end it like that, I'm not getting cheated on again Janis: I ain't doing anything tonight Jimmy: not what I asked or said Janis: fine Janis: I'll just look like the dick then yeah Jimmy: put it on me Jimmy: I'm too #highkey or whatever Janis: how is that better Janis: genuinely Jimmy: how is it better for me or how is it better for you? what's your question? Janis: for you Jimmy: how is it better than going through that shit again? Really? Janis: whether I cheat on you or dump you for being too nice, you're getting the same reaction regardless Janis: you wanna be the one who cheats but then I lose Janis: we've fucked it, best is we do it amicably and then we both lose, there's no way for us to both win and why should I let you Jimmy: I don't care about winning Janis: I can't promise you any outcome where they leave you alone Janis: that's the whole reason we were doing this Jimmy: I haven't lost my memory, like Janis: well I don't know what you want from me Jimmy: I got that Janis: fucking hell Jimmy: just Janis: yeah Jimmy: leave it Jimmy: as you said, we've fucked it, we've gotta carry on Janis: we'll have to stop it eventually Jimmy: weren't planning on marrying you, Jodie Jimmy: not part of the deal Janis: don't be stupid Janis: you'll have to deal eventually, is what I'm saying Janis: we will, whatever Jimmy: we'll do a fake break up when we've planned it out, not when what you say goes 'cause you're fuming Janis: excuse you no Janis: it was you who fucking said it Jimmy: I said I don't want this Jimmy: I don't Janis: well you'll have to deal won't you Janis: decide what you want less Jimmy: you're so Janis: yeah, you hate mee Janis: whatever Jimmy: your ultimate kink that Janis: if it was I'd want you around Jimmy: who's walking to who? Janis: oh my god Janis: I don't need you freezing to death Janis: or getting lost, again Jimmy: stop pissing about then Jimmy: come here Janis: you've got some fucking nerve Jimmy: 🏆💪 Janis: and you aren't funny Jimmy: not tonight Janis: don't write cheques you can't cash Janis: unnecessary Jimmy: I carry cash, it's you who don't Janis: see where trying to pay me gets you Janis: [showing up and throwing that jacket at him] Jimmy: [put your jacket on boy and shut your mouth] Janis: ['anything else?' not looking at him] Jimmy: [when you're just looking at her and almost doing a cry cos that's the life you're living] Janis: ['are you sure-' not finishing that 'cos so many possibilities] Jimmy: [just gotta shake your head cos you're not sure about anything are you, big part of the problem here] Janis: [nods like yeah, 'look, we don't need to be mates but I ain't got any interest in hating you, alright? pointless so just, you know'] Jimmy: [take two of trying to give her a bottle, be less of a dick this time boy] Janis: [takes it 'cos as close to a peace offering as we're getting rn and does cheers motion as she takes a swig] Jimmy: [sitting on this random curb so casually I always had to do that if I was out playing] Janis: [sitting down too a little ways away] Jimmy: [having a moment with himself like don't cry, Katie Fitch style] Janis: [when you gently go for the jacket pocket and get out 🚬 and light it for him] Jimmy: [when you shouldn't look at her cos that's so nice - too nice lbr- but you do look at her cos she's right there and you can't not] Janis: [when you look back and lean in but then you gotta lean back like no 'cos you think that's not what he wants and you're trying to be a friend not friend and ugh] Jimmy: [trying not to look 💔 like this isn't your own fault, gdi Jimothy] Janis: ['it's okay' when you just want to be comforting even though it really isn't and you're like why did I say that] Jimmy: [when you laugh cos no its not but it's also not funny and that ain't helpful so well done, oh these two] Janis: [kicks him like you know what I mean, shh, this is weird we both know it 'okay, well, I'm sorry your dad's a dick, yeah?'] Jimmy: [nudges her like oi but it's too soft to really be that and we all know it 'he ain't sorry, why should you be?'] Janis: ['cos I'm dead nice, obviously' 😏 but shrugging like] Jimmy: [lols more genuinely] Janis: ['charming' but not actually mad] Jimmy: [putting an arm around her cos she's literally in a t-shirt now like don't die babe] Janis: [the nip situation would be outta control lmao fold your arms girl] Jimmy: [at least pretend that's not a thing boy, least you can do] Janis: ['It ain't a summer house, it's a barn but it is somewhere you can crash, it's converted, there's sofas and shit' 'cos not giving up] Jimmy: [gives her his oh we're still on this kinda look but also not mad cos when does anyone give this much of a fuck about him] Janis: ['Please'] Jimmy: ['Bus takes an age if it's even running early as I need to be on shift. It ain't gonna work' but she said please so obvs you're thinking about it and looking at her like] Janis: [pouting but actually so on the low 'cos you know that's fair and he probably doesn't want one of cali or the older sibs driving him so] Jimmy: ['help me get into mine if you've gotta do owt' cos lbr it wouldn't be hard there's probably a bathroom window open and a drainpipe/roof situation and such a #mood cos she's such an athlete so] Janis: 'I dunno, guardog is pretty fierce' ] Jimmy: [a real lol 'if you ain't up for the challenge, you ain't' gets up like well bye then but is 😏 and pulls her up on her feet too a literal second later anyway] Janis: [a faux-offended face like how dare you 'cos 'Course I am!' but then grins like let's go] Jimmy: [shrugs the jacket off and gives it to her like your turn babe cos they share everything it's facts 'here, you're gonna make me fall to my death if you don't cover up' because just can't ignore the nip situation like a gentleman can you lad] Janis: ['Knew the jacket was a blatant coverup but wouldn't have necessarily guessed you wanted me to break and enter for you' shakes head like honestly tut-tut but still not mad, even when she hits him like oi it ain't my fault I had to go dramatically stand in the rain 'I reckon I'll go in, find the keys then let you in the door, all offense meant to your... prowess' 😉] Jimmy: [gives her a look like well gotta keep you guessing and it's so flirty SOS but then pulls the hood up over her head playfully, messing her hair up, like oi don't be rude and so much 😏 goodbye] Janis: ['stop flirting with me' but we all know that means don't ever stop] Jimmy: ['or what?' literally eye fucking rn calm down] Janis: ['you know what'] Jimmy: [be more up in her everything at this moment jfc I can't with you sir don't do this to me] Janis: ['just, if it's gonna be-' when you can't do words] Jimmy: ['I just-' cos same but boy you gotta communicate I s2g I hate you] Janis: ['we don't have to do this tonight, now, yeah? none of it, like, there's time'] Jimmy: [when you can breathe because she really let you off the hook there so you gently drag her off towards your house like come on] Janis: [get it lads] Jimmy: [break in of the century, but we know it's gonna play out how she said cos lbr he's not pulling his weight here] Jimmy: [like he'd try and go up the drainpipe and slip and she'd be like um no boy down you get] Janis: [god bless boy, when you just in the doorway afterwards like all 👍?] Jimmy: [gotta love a sleepy Twix before she goes cray though cos heard 'em way to cockblock this bonding moment pup] Janis: [don't give 'em away traitor pup shh Jimmy: [giving her treats like behave thank you] Janis: [all whispering obvs 'cos not drunk af this time 'you should get another key cut he don't know about'] Jimmy: [when you can't hide how good of an idea you think that is cos tell your face and you were already impressed by her break in antics and we're dangerously close to 😍] Janis: [when you ain't even smug just smiling like a nerd 'cos you already know his dad ain't shit] Jimmy: [just in the kitchen from when you had to bribe Twix opening the fridge with a flourish like see anything you like cos will literally give her anything so she won't leave yet] Janis: [say by some miracle there's a slice of pizza left so she grabs that] Jimmy: [He's just making tea cos northern] Janis: [sneaking peeks honey] Jimmy: [he ain't asked her if she wants one he's just doing it, bit rude when you don't know if she likes tea never mind how] Janis: ['milk, 2 sugars' 😏] Jimmy: [does a OTT dramatic gasp like a nerd cos we gonna say they take their tea the same for the feels '#twinning, Gracie will be delighted'] Janis: [does a little lol, 'yeah, 'specially 'cos she don't drink a tea unless it promises to fix her skin and her love life for her, and tastes like shit, like'] Jimmy: [just grinning 'No dairy, like ever, OMG, I know' crossing his heart with an eye roll before carrying the tea to the lounge] Janis: [getting comfy on the sofa like bitch you were leaving lmao your resolve 'you should just give her full fat, she'd never notice, honestly'] Jimmy: [laughs evilly but quietly cos don't wake peeps up and mimes writing it down but then you know he's also getting comfy closer to her than he needs to be as per] Janis: ['puts hands up like soz 'you're off the clock, I remember'] Jimmy: [mimes looking at his watch and sighs dramatically like only for a bit but ain't that devvo cos got his bae back] Janis: ['should've put this in a to-go, like'] Jimmy: [nudges her like where do you are like I ain't even got #aesthetic mugs for insta 'pay up and you can have it prepped or served any way you want'] Janis: ['hot' 😂] Jimmy: [sips tea like he's doing a temp check and 👍] Janis: [just looks at him like nerd alert] Jimmy: [gets up, gets a pack of biscuits and throws them at her but gently cos again shh please boy] Janis: ['#whenbaespoilsyou'] Jimmy: [blows a kiss at her cos nerd] Janis: [catch it 'cos sporty] Jimmy: ['such an athlete, babe'] Janis: [stretching back like 'you know it'] Jimmy: [shamelessly looking at her body cos that top is cropped af before you even move thank you bye] Janis: [always hitting with a 'what?' but being 😏 'cos you know] Jimmy: [always giving it back like you don't know exactly what you're doing okay then] Janis: [just come casual tension but you're about it] Jimmy: [nearly spilling that tea actually cos all your attention is on the bae, the fucking eye contact forever damn] Janis: [sipping with purpose beech] Jimmy: [when your phone goes off to break the unbearable tension for a sec but it's just the fans as usual so you can look together and get even closer to her like look] Janis: ['can't break their hearts just yet, like, they ain't ready'] Jimmy: ['none of the lads must've caught your party mood from a decent enough angle or that'd be up doing it for us'] Janis: [🙄 and pushes him like shut up] Jimmy: ['its alright I've had more breakups and make ups than I've had girlfriends, must be something about me 😏'] Janis: [lols 'you reckon'] Jimmy: [throws a pillow at her like don't lol at my misfortune but is clearly also amused 'try and fake some sympathy, girl, damn'] Janis: [clutches her heart dramatically] Jimmy: [shakes his head like she's such a dickhead but smiling cos she's also a cute nerd] Janis: ['this-' gestures to the tea '-ain't strong enough to swap war stories, boy'] Jimmy: ['subtle move, pisshead' gestures toward the kitchen 'go on and raid Ian's supply but his broken heart'll be on your head, like'] Janis: [gets up and shrugs 'least I didn't break his windows'] Jimmy: [shrugs back like fair point] Janis: [picks a bottle that's fairly full but not completely 'cos least obvious and she's not actually that arsed but takes a swig walking back in] Jimmy: [control your heart eyes and swooning boy we all know its a #mood] Janis: [offers the bottle to him but doesn't sit, 'it'll help you sleep, early start and everything'] Jimmy: [takes it and takes a bigger swig than her because everything's a challenge and passes it back] Janis: [raises her brows at him but obviously can never back down from a challenge] Jimmy: ['coming in?' meaning work tomorrow obvs] Janis: [when you act like you're thinking about it for much longer than you actually are 'probably, be a bit of a bad review if I'm not dying to see you the morning after, like'] Jimmy: ['could be incapable of walking, your nan got a zimmer you can borrow for a bit?'] Janis: [when you have to snort 'cos you have to hold in a louder laugh more] Jimmy: ['take that as a nah, fit is she? Gotta get it from somewhere, eh?'] Janis: ['She's only 62, so yeah, could probably take you on' 😏] Jimmy: ['bring her in for a cuppa, I'll earn a decent tip, no bother' 😉] Janis: ['ugh, you and your type'] Jimmy: ['paying customers, yeah, really turn me on when they hand me them couple of extra euros they do'] Janis: ['you're in the wrong job then' and shakes her head 'cos thinking 'bout Rio, shade] Jimmy: ['in it for the art form though, obvs' thinking about that hipster latte foam] Janis: [''course, Pete's artistry is limited to bass only, like' Jimmy: ['I can't live if I can't express myself creatively, the need lends itself to being more than a one trick pony, so burdened me' gets Pete's page up and is having a scroll and showing her things cos he weren't at the party obvs] Janis: [😏 'You are SO in love with him'] Jimmy: ['pick your own jaw off the floor and it might hit harder, mate'] Janis: ['please, I play it SO cool'] Jimmy: ['where and when?'] Janis: ['I'm pretty sure he don't know I exist so check and mate, mate'] Jimmy: ['Don't take your hand off that piece yet, Jill, 'cause here's me calling bollocks. He's mentioned you to me'] Janis: ['OMG, what did he say?!' in a scary good Grace impression, but quieter please; 'also you better not have told him my name's Jill, even worse than my actual'] Jimmy: [in a accurate Pete impression 'that girl's so... dude, your girl's really...' back to Jim voice 'wouldn't you LOVE to know, Juliet' shows her his phone where that's her name cos fave of the nicknames duh] Janis: [when you're loling at the impression but lowkey 😍 at the nickname 'cos it's shamelessly cute] Jimmy: ['I wanna be the face of that band but I ain't got the voice. You?'] Janis: [shakes head and pulls face like god no 'my mother's already tried to make us a racially ambiguous version of the Nolans, but she obviously ain't pushy enough, where's Joe Jackson when you need him, eh?'] Jimmy: [lols like that's us fucked then 'starving artist and muse it is then, baby' snaps a pic of her to make the point] Janis: [when you try and get the phone outta his hands 'cos never enough playfighting] Jimmy: [when of course you end up on top of her on the sofa like well now this is a moment RIP] Janis: [when you just go for it 'cos you can't not but then you pull back like fuck] Jimmy: [when you then have to go for it cos you didn't wanna stop and that's all you're thinking about] Janis: [back at it again on this sofa] Jimmy: [so into it, god only knows how we're stopping them rn] Janis: [Twix run bitch run] Jimmy: [barking cos are they playing or are they fighting OH PUP DO NOT WAKE THIS FAM] Janis: [well that's that ruined thanks babe, getting up so fast like 'I'll go'] Jimmy: [when you want her to stay but Bobby appears like oh hey did anyone order an even bigger cockblock so you have to be in big brother mode cos he's always lowkey scared/upset by life in general] Janis: [when you stay long enough to not freak him like who was that but then you peace so he can deal in private] Jimmy: [I hope she's got the jacket again so she don't freeze to death] Janis: 👍 Jimmy: 👌 Janis: is he back to bed and her in the doghouse, like Jimmy: 🐶🔪🔪 say goodbye to your little mate 💔 Janis: harsh Janis: poor bobby Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: [sends a pic of Twix like a ransom photo but the newspaper be in her mouth cos nerds] Janis: 😱 Janis: I'll give you whatever you want Jimmy: anything I want? Janis: That's what I said Jimmy: [sends her a pic of Bobby and Twix both asleep on him like okay she's safe] Janis: 💕 Jimmy: [saying that he misses her and flirting on the socials so that I can] Janis: Smart thinking Janis: keep up appearances, make it look like it ain't a hostage situation Jimmy: not thick, northern Janis: like I said, impressed Jimmy: don't you wanna save your flirting for the feeds? Janis: This isn't flirting Jimmy: Nah? Janis: Nah Janis: I can do much much better than fake me Janis: obviously Jimmy: more #goals than this?! gotta call bollocks Jimmy: 🏆🏆🏆🏆 Janis: sure, as far as everyone knows, we're the it couple of the moment Jimmy: 💘 Janis: as long as all dogs and children are safe Janis: let you get a few hours, like Jimmy: you can't Jimmy: you said anything I want Janis: Well have you decided Jimmy: I'm thinking Jimmy: stick around Janis: alright Janis: I'm still walking anyway Jimmy: where to? Janis: my nan and granddads Janis: cba to go home Jimmy: you could always walk back Jimmy: know your way in Janis: look like you've got your hands full Jimmy: 💪🏆 me Jimmy: can't be giving it out like you don't wanna climb through my bedroom window, girl Jimmy: balcony or nah Janis: better change names with me, boy Janis: rose by any other name and all that Jimmy: suits you better, can't help that Janis: hmm Janis: gotta think of a name for you Janis: you don't own nicknames, like Jimmy: what are you on about? it's the name your parents gave you weren't it? Janis: 😏 Janis: 🖕 Jimmy: charming you are 💕 Janis: not our story Janis: cinderella would be hard to pull off, even now you've left the north Jimmy: if it could happen anywhere, it'd be the CG Jimmy: picking the ugliest out of your sister's squad though, not easy Jimmy: Mia's 🥇 duh but then who? Jimmy: might be the tall one, might be her 💀 clone Janis: 🤔 Janis: my votes for BFG Janis: 💀💀 twin too hard, the disparity is great for comedic effect Jimmy: where's your #tallgirlsolidarity babe? OMG Janis: fine, go be friends with a leprechaun Jimmy: such a friend kink you Jimmy: trying to get me invited to a sleepover or what? Janis: not at my house, thanks Janis: if you have an orgy with them we're no longer besties Jimmy: I told you before, if I wanted that it would've already happened Janis: Gross Janis: they have to have some boundaries Janis: obvs all go to the bathroom together to have a vom sesh but you know Jimmy: it's like a cult Jimmy: if they don't all fuck and they're only doing the death pact bit 💔 Janis: there's no way the 💀 ones can exert the energy and the rest wouldn't wanna get their kit off 'cos they'd get fat-shamed so Janis: unlucky Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: their nails an' all that's a 🌈🚫 Jimmy: be like 🔪🔪 Janis: 🤢 Janis: too far Jimmy: soz my dear Janis: 😒 Jimmy: come on, be my mate again Jimmy: pretty please with 🍒s on Janis: you mean it Jimmy: 🤞 Janis: you doing that behind your back like you're lying Janis: I'm suspicious Jimmy: come find out Jimmy: can't give up all my secrets to you Janis: I shouldn't Janis: might wake your dad up next time Jimmy: nowt wakes him Jimmy: garage walls are thicker than his head Janis: should do you a favour and not accept that challenge, shouldn't I Jimmy: I get it, was just a fluke and you can't break in again, yeah? Janis: please Janis: not my first rodeo Janis: and you made it so easy Jimmy: sounds fake, babe Janis: 😡 Jimmy: 😍😍😍 Janis: yeah, you just want me to come back so you can be so impressed again Jimmy: go on then Jimmy: meant to be giving me what I want Janis: only the once Janis: not good for life, use it wisely Jimmy: 👍 Janis: sooooooo Janis: am I coming or what Jimmy: do you wanna come or do you just want me to use that to make you so it's gone? Janis: 😑 Janis: hadn't thought it through that much, tbh Janis: it's your wish, I ain't interfering Jimmy: if I want you to come and keep that in my back pocket for later is that 1 favour or 2? Janis: Hmm Janis: alright Janis: I'll come and I still owe you Jimmy: should I unlock the door or let you show off? Janis: Probably just let me in Janis: I don't need it and I've got visions of the kid seeing me and 😱💀👻 now so Jimmy: and I don't need to be spending my tips getting him therapy Jimmy: good shout Jimmy: so considerate you Janis: you know Janis: and you're welcome Jimmy: might not be the shittiest mate to have Janis: 👂 Janis: sorry, can you repeat that Jimmy: I could Jimmy: but will I Janis: awh come on 😏 Jimmy: alright, shut up Jimmy: I don't hate the idea, do I Janis: you're not a total idiot so Janis: 'course you don;t Jimmy: Stop complimenting me Jimmy: I'm gonna reckon your phone got snatched off you in a bit Jimmy: 🔪💀👻 Janis: Was just a means to compliment myself more, don't worry Jimmy: alright, fuck that, this is deffo you Janis: mhmm Janis: [does extra ass socials like people need to know she's going back] Janis: who else but your fake gf Jimmy: 💕😍💘 Jimmy: [replies that are as extra but we know there's realness underneath] Jimmy: [OMG the fire sexts can be born this day! cos remember when] Janis: [yasss] Janis: did you really just Jimmy: what? Janis: 😳 Jimmy: you reckon you're the only one with impressive skills? Janis: obviously not Janis: do you want everyone on your dick more though 'cos Jimmy: they ain't gonna leave me alone Jimmy: that dream's 💀💀💀 Janis: 💔 Janis: not to victim blame you but Janis: only got yourself to blame Jimmy: 🎻🎻🎻 Jimmy: and you Jimmy: can't help it if you're the best fake girlfriend I've ever had, can I? Janis: Yeah I'm so inspiring Janis: a muse, you could say Jimmy: a 🥇 muse baby Jimmy: get it right Jimmy: and send that tweet Janis: [does] Janis: 💕 Jimmy: 😘 Janis: Come out and 🚬? Jimmy: [does but let's say he hasn't put his hoodie back on yet cos was being snuggled a bit ago so we can fully appreciate the white tee moment] Janis: [you appreciate that girl, sat on his front step like hey] Jimmy: [Getting on there as well cos always gotta sit so close 5ever] Janis: [for warmth this time sure, when it's not been that long so you don't know if you're meant to pretend the makeout didn't happen but you can't anyway so] Jimmy: [and so you can share a smoke cos god forbid you just don't have your own you coupley bastards] Janis: [sharing is caring boo] Jimmy: [it means he smokes less so i'm about it as I am about their comfortable silences] Janis: [honestly, not even hello] Jimmy: [living for it, picture him on his phone cos peeps are losing it over their posts, but with her so not being an antisocial dick] Janis: [just loling and taking the piss how they do 'so, how often are you sexting to be that good?'] Jimmy: [shrugs cos we both know he ain't done it for ages but ain't gonna say that 'like a 6 that were'] Janis: [nods, 'don't wanna give 'em everything right away, like'] Jimmy: ['they can't handle what we've already shown 'em, if I was going for it with a full 10 I'd kill your nan and we both know she's healthier than your horse'] Janis: [pushes him 'stop slagging my nan and imaginary horse, so rude'] Jimmy: ['I'm complimenting your nan and ain't about to stop, well in, me. You're only here 'cause she was asleep, like'] Janis: [PAHs, 'you ain't met her, boy; trust, you won't be getting no tips'] Jimmy: [gives her a look like challenge accepted 😏 but we're all amused af] Janis: [truly 'cos we all know what happened that time Tess showed lmao] Jimmy: [when you lowkey snuggling the bae tho cos its cold but also you want to] Janis: [rubbing his arms like he did] Jimmy: [just giving her heart eyes casually] Janis: ['wanna go in?' 'cos you're so concerned u caring hoe] Jimmy: [when you're #conflicted because you're alone out here and there's nobody cockblocking you but it's not comfortable so of course you ask her if she wants to cos always a question answered with a question] Janis: [just looking at his lips in response shameless] Jimmy: [when you're kissing her before you've even closed the door behind you cos also shameless] Janis: [get it kids] Jimmy: [use that front door to your advantage when you finally shut it but shh] Janis: [seriously shh even though you obvs don't wanna] Jimmy: [when you think you hear something so you stop for long enough to move, get back in that living room kids] Janis: [ah trusty sofa hello] Jimmy: [the mems on this sofa already, speaking of get on his lap girl cos that's a thing always and has to start somewhere] Janis: [a moment] Jimmy: [at least if you wanna be kissing constantly it'll keep you quiet cos we know he ain't usually living that life, we see you, mr no chill] Janis: ['You're a good kisser' 'cos you ain't told him that before now obvs] Jimmy: [when you can't help smiling genuinely cos nobody's told you that before and you weren't expecting it and so cute so even though you should say it back cos true you're just like 🙊] Janis: [kiss that smile] Jimmy: [get your hands in her hair boy cos you love being soft] Janis: [when you're just enjoying how all this feels] Jimmy: [you can tell she's into it so just touching and soft kisses everywhere cos there's so much bare skin to play with thanks to this outfit you can just take your time] Janis: [when you're trying so hard to keep quiet 'cos it's obvs not been like this before in any sense] Jimmy: [gotta give the nips some attention cos they've been the centre of attention all night lbr so soz girl for making quietness even harder for you but not that soz] Janis: [when all the squirming she's doing gonna feel real good for you boy] Jimmy: [everybody winning rn] Janis: ['fuck!' 'cos yeah] Jimmy: [and now everything's a little less soft because all the encouragement you need to go harder at what you're doing] Janis: [when you're just moving your hands down from around his neck 'til they're making their way under his waistband] Jimmy: [his turn to say fuck quietly but with feeling] Janis: [😏] Jimmy: [kiss that smug face boy so you shhh] Janis: [putting your finger to his lips like shh but you loling 'cos he's so cute] Jimmy: [deciding to make this touching mutual so the struggle to be quiet is too, little do you know yet lad she's a pro at keeping things hush unlike you] Janis: [can't quiet your face though even if you are trying to hide it like] Jimmy: [his turn to be like 😏] Janis: [going harder like shut up] Jimmy: [going harder cos she is and everything's a competition forever] Janis: [tryna move away 'cos that bitch] Jimmy: [use your strength soft boy I believe in you] Janis: ['boy'] Jimmy: ['what?' cos I simply must] Janis: [making eye contact and giving the LOOK to end all as you move back but closer] Jimmy: [keeping that eye contact going as you try not to be killed by the look and her everything atm] Janis: ['I've wanted to do this properly for so long' point out the obvious and not really that long but I'll allow it highkey ass] Jimmy: ['how long?' cos validate this high key needy boy] Janis: ['Since we started fake doing this, I told you, you're a good kisser'] Jimmy: ['I can top that, girl, I picked you 'cause I wanted to find out if you were' cos where's the lie] Janis: [pouts like she's fuming she's lost 'could probably call that false pretenses, you know' 😏] Jimmy: [the pouty lip bite 5eva bye cos gotta shut her up obvs haha] Janis: [#intoit Jimmy: [likewise] Janis: [when your phones are still blatantly going off and you're ignoring that shit] Jimmy: [priorities kids sod looking at your phone when you can be looking at the bae] Janis: [real better than the faaaaake] Jimmy: [you know it] Janis: [is she staying or going after like] Jimmy: [I vote she should stay then she can come to work with him when he opens up cos what a #mood the CG alone together for a bit] Janis: [wid it, no running hoe] Jimmy: [he ain't letting her leg it]

[punkscowardschampions]

Chloé & Buster

Chloé: You coming to Abi's party tonight? Buster: No Chloé: Why not! Gonna be such a laugh Buster: It's not really any of your business, is it, Chlo, but let's be honest even if I was in the country, we both know it wouldn't be a laugh Buster: Abi's probably fucked up already Buster: And that's only one of the reasons why it's a no Chloé: Ooh, someone's moody! Chloé: Unlucky you're out of town babes 😂 Chloé: Family time, is it? Yawn Buster: Fuck off, Chlo Buster: There are other things to do besides annoying my sister, you should try it Chloé: Not in her inbox, am I? Chloé: 😷 Chloé: As if you're doing anything worth talking about Buster: Neither am I so how in the hell would I know, like? Buster: Why do you care so much still what I'm doing? Buster: Sort it out, babe. The who ain't you, but there's plenty of lads in your postcode who would Chloé: Just inviting you to a bash don't get wild about it Chloé: Never see you out these days, not YOUR postcode anymore, no? Chloé: Fake girlfriend still, is it? 💔 Buster: And why do you reckon that is, babe? Buster: Fault's yours not mine. Stop inviting me out, yeah? I'm not here for it. Or you Buster: I'm not sorry I'm busy with my actual girlfriend Chloé: What have I done! Chloé: Nothing but nice to you, and your sister, for that matter Buster: If that's what you think I ain't got the time to change your mind Buster: Nor write you a list, like Chloé: 🙄 The theatrics! Chloé: So, what's she like then? Must be something if you're willing to leave here for it Buster: Draw your own conclusions Buster: I'm not talking about her to you Chloé: Cute 💘 Chloé: Though you don't need to talk that game to me Chloé: Might be able to convince a girl outside the postcode that you're #loyal babes but no need or way that'll wash with me 😏 Buster: Shut up Buster: Maybe the reason I had to go out of the postcode was less to do with me and more about the type of girl there, you ever thought on that? Chloé: Omg Chloé: Admitting you can't handle us? Buster: You wish Buster: It wasn't a compliment, babe Chloé: Whatevs Chloé: You're looking good anyway Buster: Course I am Buster: Is there anything else I can actually do for you or what? 'Cause there's plenty my girlfriend can do for me if we're done here Chloé: If you wanna make me jealous Chloé: so many better ways to go about it Buster: Please Buster: Don't flatter yourself, honestly Chloé: Who's this??? Chloé: [Rio's post] Buster: Your subtlety is astounding Buster: Your sleuthing needs some work though, clearly Chloé: It's on my feed, I ain't ashamed Buster: Give it a double tap and move on, babe Chloé: Yeah, don't think she's your type Chloé: Maybe your sister's, she's always commenting hmm Buster: Like you know anything about mine or my sister's type of girl Chloé: Getting warmer, am I? Buster: In the sense you're getting more desperate, yeah Buster: If this turns you on that's an issue for you to worry about, not me Chloé: Please Chloé: it's fun isn't it Buster: No Buster: If I tell you who she is will you go away? Chloé: Sure! Buster: She's one of my many cousins, alright Chloé: Oh Chloé: That explains it Chloé: Disappointing but don't need to tell you that Buster: Off you go then Chloé: No Chloé: I thougt you were going to tell me who your girlfriend is Buster: Why the fuck would I do that? Chloé: Why would I care who your skanky cousin is? Buster: 'Cause you're obsessed with me apparently Buster: And don't call her that Chloé: Like you care babes Buster: I obviously do or else I wouldn't waste my breath telling you to shut up Chloé: You've said worse about all of 'em Chloé: Oh my Gosh Chloé: Just realised who she is Buster: I can whatever I want. Who the fuck are you? Buster: Congrats Chloé: She is, isn't she? Chloé: The one everyone's slept with Chloé: How shaming Buster: It'd sound more sincere if you hadn't slept with most of Chelsea, babe Buster: One rule for you, yeah? Chloé: I live here, I didn't fly in for the experience Chloé: Why was she even here? Buster: Maybe if you upped your own game the lads wouldn't need her to fly in Chloé: How can you talk about your own family like that you sicko Buster: 😂 Buster: You do have a moral code of some sort then? Buster: Take it up with your boy besties, they're the ones who like to chat about it Chloé: More than you do, clearly Chloé: Doesn't that just make you want to die? How mortifying Buster: It makes me wanna kill them Buster: Thanks for asking Chloé: As if you're any better 😂 Buster: I don't sleep with any girls they care about, do I? Chloé: Yeah right Chloé: Family man now, are you babes? Chloé: Take it up with her if you're so close now Buster: Whatever, Chlo Chloé: More touchy about this than you were with your own sister Chloé: Guess there was no risk of all your mates getting on her Buster: Exactly Buster: And you've missed your chance too so no worries there Chloé: You're so vile Buster: Like you'd be above fucking my sister? Okay babe Chloé: 🤢 Chloé: I'd sooner drink bleach Chloé: thank you Buster: I'm sure she would too Buster: Shame there was none in my glass that night at the party, like Chloé: Sorry to disappoint whatever incest kink you've got going on Chloé: but nah babes Buster: Why? You ain't been sorry about being a let down in any other way Chloé: Shut up Chloé: I was wasted and you're not giving a second chance Buster: If it was only how unfuckable you are, I'd let you off Chloé: You certainly managed Chloé: Trust me Buster: As I've only got your word on it, I have to Chloé: How else do you expect me to prove it? Chloé: DNA test? Buster: I don't care Buster: It happened and it ain't again. End of story Chloé: Whatever you say Buster: There ain't nothing else to say Buster: Unless you've got something you desperately wanna add? Chloé: Just talking to James Chloé: he reckons you're well weird about your cousin Buster: Says the lad who told me in graphic detail what fucking her was like? Okay Chloé: Didn't do it for you? Chloé: Poor boy 😂 Buster: But I'm the vile one, sure Chlo Chloé: Calm down, it's only bants Chloé: You're sooooo serious now Buster: Serious about how much I want you to fuck off out of my inbox Chloé: Can't handle it now or what? Chloé: There's a reason, I know Buster: I ain't never wanted to handle you, babe Chloé: Obvs not Chloé: not related to you am I Chloé: how country 😂 Buster: Fuck off Buster: Excuse me if you slagging off my family isn't a huge turn on for me, like Chloé: Why's it matter Chloé: Not gonna say it to their face am I Buster: You literally did say shit to my sister though Buster: Already forgotten or what? Chloé: No I never Chloé: Mads tagged her Chloé: then everyone else did Chloé: it wasn't me Buster: Back in the day in was all you though Chloé: She say that did she? Chloé: I was the only one who even tried to be her friend Chloé: not my fault she was in love with me Buster: Bullshit Buster: You ain't her type either, babe Buster: Get over yourself Chloé: Hmm not how I remember it Chloé: not like you were paying any attention so what would you know tbh Buster: I've heard it from her now Buster: Not just in Dublin seeing my girlfriend, as you've already worked out Chloé: Thrilled for you both, I'm sure Buster: Act like it then Buster: Leave me alone Buster: And it goes without saying, my sister as well Chloé: Well you see I can't Chloé: Hate to burst your bubble, of course Buster: Yeah you can Chloé: I really can't Chloé: As fun as this has been I have some news Buster: Go on then Buster: Sooner you've said it, sooner you can go Chloé: Ha Chloé: I'm pregnant Buster: What the fuck, Chlo? Even for you that's low Buster: Still going to Abi's party though, yeah? Buster: Bullshit Chloé: God, I can still have fun and A GLASS Chloé: beside the point Chloé: [pics of tests] Buster: Well yeah, you can do whatever you want until you prove it's my kid Chloé: How do you expect me to do that Chloé: and I know it's yours, thank you very much Buster: You might, but I don't Buster: And forgive me if I don't automatically take your word for it after all the shit you've said and done, like Chloé: Well if you weren't being so difficult Buster: Me? Buster: Fuck that Buster: Get a prenatal DNA and get back to me or wait until the kid is born, do it and get back to me Chloé: Wow Chloé: Class act Chloé: That's going to require a bit of cooperation, babes Buster: All you need is a blood sample or mouth swab Buster: I'll give you either Chloé: Done this before, have you? Chloé: Jesus Christ Chloé: it's a child, your child Buster: Not as far I know yet Buster: You having this convo with James and the rest of them too, are you? Chloé: Fuck off Chloé: No Chloé: and don't you dare tell ANYONE Buster: Like I want them knowing about it Buster: Whether it's my kid or not Buster: I've gotta tell my parents though so Chloé: You can tell them Chloé: Mine don't know yet Buster: You should tell them too Chloé: Will you tell them with me? Buster: Okay Chloé: Yay good Chloé: When are you back? Buster: I was gonna skip school but Buster: When were you planning on telling them? Chloé: I don't know, doesn't matter Buster: Of course it does Buster: You need to decide what you're gonna do Buster: They can help you Chloé: What? Chloé: I know what I'm doing Chloé: I've already been shopping with the girls Buster: I thought you didn't want anyone to know? Chloé: I don't want YOU telling people it could be anyone else's Chloé: when it couldn't, how rude Buster: So you've told your friends but not your parents? Buster: Come on, Chlo Buster: Have you even been to the doctors or anything? Chloé: Yeah they'll just fuss and wanna know things Chloé: how cringe Chloé: No point yet Chloé: I think Chloé: it's like 12 weeks scan, yeah? Buster: You can get DNA done at 9 weeks Buster: I've just looked it up Chloé: How long's it been? Buster: If you don't know that how are you so sure it's my kid? Chloé: I haven't slept with anyone else for ages Chloé: if you must know Buster: It is kind of worth knowing, yeah Buster: Fuck's sake Chloé: Don't be funny with me Chloé: I just know alright Buster: Don't tell me how to be Buster: I asked you after if you needed me to take you to the pill and you said no Chloé: Well I thought I was fine, obviously Buster: Well, now neither of us are, obviously Chloé: I'm good Chloé: Drama Chloé: It'll be nice, if you let it Buster: Nice? Buster: Grow up, Chlo Chloé: Well I'm not getting rid of it Chloé: you've done it now, deal with it Buster: Like I said, when you prove to me that it's my baby, I will Chloé: Fine, I will Chloé: you'll see Chloé: anyway, I'm going out, gotta get my nails done for tonight Buster: I'm glad you've got your priorities in order, babe Buster: Jesus Christ Chloé: What? Chloé: I can't do anything, I told you I've got loads of stuff for it Chloé: keeping it at Lindseys Buster: Don't go the party Buster: That's what you could do Chloé: I'm not going to sit at home on a saturday night Chloé: i'm not 40 Buster: Clearly. 40 year old's don't tend to get knocked up accidentally as a rule Chloé: Menopause'll do that to you babe Buster: That's not the point Buster: We need to talk about this you can't just ruin my life and then go do a toast with your friends Chloé: Me ruin yours? I didn't impregnate myself Buster: You're ruining your own by not thinking this through Chloé: I'm not a baby killer Chloé: sorry about it Buster: I don't even have words for how stupid that sounds Chloé: I can't believe you're trying to make me get an abortion Buster: I'm not trying to make you do anything except use your brain Buster: What about uni? Are you still gonna go or what? Buster: Are you gonna get your own place or stay with your mum and dad? Chloé: Wow, 20 questions! Buster: This isn't a game Buster: Fucking hell Chloé: I'm having a baby Chloé: that's my plan Buster: And then what? Chloé: Be a mum? Buster: You know how hard that's gonna be, yeah? Chloé: I think I'll manage babe Chloé: I'm not an idiot Buster: You're an idiot if you think it's easy Chloé: How hard can it be Buster: Very Buster: Babies can't do fuck all and kids aren't much better Chloé: Yeah, I know how to feed it and change it Chloé: Abi's got a baby sister she's so cute Buster: Good for her Buster: I bet she ain't doing the night feeds while her parents sleep, is she Chloé: Whatever Buster: Don't fucking whatever me, Chlo Chloé: Don't you talk to me like that Buster: I can't talk to you right now if you're gonna be like this Chloé: That's good because you're making me late Buster: Fine Buster: Bye then Chloé: 👋

[punkscowardschampions]

Ali & Carly

Ali: alright? Carly: yea Ali: you want any water, pain killers? Carly: k to both Ali: can have my headphones too if you can deal with my music taste Carly: you could sing to me tho Ali: i've got the pipes, yeah but not sure anyone else wants me belting over the racket Carly: idc about them Ali: yeah Ali: one of us gotta get home with a spotless record, tho Carly: You can't get in trouble for being loud Carly: Leesha knows that Ali: she just leads a charmed life 🍀 Carly: or 🔮 Ali: Didn't need no crystal ball to see through your plans, soz babe Carly: who does Ali: got further than you had any right Ali: poor woodfield on bog watch 'til dubo now Carly: ha Carly: gave her something to do Carly: but nobodys trying it again like Ali: reckon you're right Ali: no one got that kinda deathwish Carly: trying to kill me w a stare tho Carly: she loves it Ali: hmm Ali: less sure on that Carly: i am Carly: try it tho bitch Carly: feel 🕱 Ali: got until we get back Ali: that's when the real shit begins Ali: what're you gonna do carls Carly: idk idc Carly: theyre gonna do what they want Carly: & not like my ma & da will throw a fit Ali: sure? Ali: shame Ali: hoping your Da would move Drew on Carly: im not 12 now babe Carly: & he isn't a beautiful romany lad Carly: my ma will like the look of him i kno Ali: you're 14 Ali: still got a few more years of compulsorary giving a shit about you left Carly: yea Carly: but its no big Ali: you could get expelled Carly: nah Carly: didnt go anything cuz leesha had to speak up about it Ali: you blame her Carly: nah but its facts Carly: nothing happened Ali: I don't think that's how they see it Carly: k but Carly: idc Carly: forget it Ali: k but HOW Carly: what? Carly: dont worry about it babe k Carly: im not trying to Ali: I know you're trying to avoid a freakout but Ali: fucking hell Ali: why Carly: why what? Carly: whats your problem? Ali: only the same as yours Ali: not enjoying the chaos around us or the chaos waiting at home Carly: nah Carly: but worry about your sister Carly: this is nothing Ali: no it isn't Carly: just chatter Carly: weve heard it all before Ali: you're a we now yeah Carly: ha Carly: everyone on this coach has heard it & said it is what i mean Carly: dont be jealous babe Ali: Why would I be jealous? Carly: im only playing Carly: i kno youre not Ali: Whatever Carly: dont be mad at me Carly: be fun Ali: not feeling it Carly: baby come on Carly: why tho Ali: you actually need to ask? Carly: yea Carly: i havent done anything wrong Ali: it ain't about right or wrong Ali: it's still a mess and i'm over it Ali: that's all Carly: k Carly: but ive been a mess since we met & you cba about that before Ali: i didn't say you Ali: the situation Carly: theres no situation Carly: only sex that didnt even happen Ali: forget about it Carly: nah Carly: say what you wanna say Ali: okay, the fact he's fucking ruined this entire trip Ali: Ro had to go home Ali: and Laoise is taking the opportunity to cyberbully her about it as if she's not already fucked up enough from it Ali: and he's not even a little bit sorry that he just wasted the last 3 months of her life with his bullshit Carly: None of that's my bad Carly: be mad at him not me Ali: I am Ali: but I'm mad at you for not giving enough of a shit to not get dragged down in his crap either Carly: hes not dragging me anywhere but the bathroom Ali: bullshit Carly: nah Carly: youre making it something else Carly: its not Ali: the whole bus is slagging on you Ali: half of them wanna fight you Ali: and that's cos of this Ali: its not debateable its facts Carly: and what Carly: when dont they Ali: there was no need Carly: yea there was Ali: no worthwhile one then whatever Carly: worthwhile to me Ali: i really hope so Carly: wouldve been like Ali: i don't need to hear Carly: k Carly: be like that Ali: yeah i will Carly: why do you wanna fight w me? Ali: i don't Ali: you got your priorities i got mine Carly: but youre a priority you kno Ali: its alright Ali: let's leave this drama behind Carly: how tho Carly: youre still gonna be mad Ali: yeah but that is what it is Ali: nothing's going to change Ali: we'll both deal Carly: but Ali: idk Ali: idk what we do, if you think of something lemme know Carly: im sorry Ali: me too Carly: tell me what to do Carly: i wanna make you feel better Ali: I dunno, Carls Ali: its all already done Ali: not just you, all of us Carly: lets do something else Carly: go somewhere else Carly: whatever you want Ali: Oh, that reminds me Ali: Tommy's back, he asked if you wanna go out Carly: is it k w you if i come? Ali: yeah Carly: nah its weird Ali: no it isn't Ali: i don't wanna not see you Ali: fuck that Ali: its just this trip and him Carly: i only did it cuz he said hed hook me up when we got back Carly: i dont want him Ali: its alright Ali: you don't have to explain to me Carly: its not Carly: alright isnt how we feel you kno Ali: as far as this trip goes Ali: i'll take it, babe Carly: i shouldnt have come on it Ali: nah, don't say that Ali: apart from this shit Ali: it was good, right? Carly: but this shit happened cuz im not good Carly: my heads wrecked Ali: no Ali: it didn't Ali: yeah, you went there too but so did Laoise and it coulda been any girl Carly: she didnt fuck him for a hit tho Carly: why i gotta do that Ali: that hit of revenge Ali: worse reason, to be honest Carly: yea Carly: she is the worst we kno Ali: you're not bad Carly: im not an angel like you babe Ali: yeah you is Ali: can't fool me Carly: you cant stop being nice to me Ali: and what bitch Carly: youre meant to be mad Ali: i'm sick of it Ali: its not getting us anywhere so Carly: where you wanna get to baby Ali: better Carly: we'll start tonight Carly: out w your brother Ali: yeah Ali: fucking ray of ☀ that he is Carly: ha Carly: maybe ill find a nice girl at the club tho Carly: then youll be happy Ali: i don't wanna be that bitch about it Ali: just drew, babe, c'mon 😝 Ali: please tell me i ain't that bitch Carly: ha Carly: hes no worse than ronan tho Carly: to your sister k but not to me Ali: yeah and thinking 'bout how hard Ronan sucks made you cry the other day so Ali: 👀 Carly: dont Carly: he took your vs its so sad Carly: i wouldnt let goldie take mine nah Ali: I dunno what the fuck I was thinking Carly: youre too good Carly: you think everyone is Carly: 👼 Ali: nah Ali: I mean, he ain't the 😈 but he was bad enough for my purposes Ali: my stupid ass 🙄 Carly: nah you're too smart Carly: you knew what you were doing like Carly: been there had that fight w my ma Ali: the flashbacks not needed Ali: still got that 📢 in my ear Ali: though, probably gonna lay off a bit now Drew's showed Caleb up for the good boy he is Ali: awks Carly: its my turn Carly: thanks for turning up ma & da turn into his drama Carly: then turn away cuz nothing to see Ali: yours back home rn? Carly: nah but im sure theyll get the summons if the teachers kick off loud enough Ali: shit Ali: they gonna kill ya? Carly: theyll only be mad if their hol gets cut short but like they can go again when the teachers have had a word Carly: dont need a babysitter Ali: yeah, soz we can't come back we got free drinks here 'til next week so Carly: you kno Carly: gotta draw straws for which one shows up & who gets to keep the party going Ali: 1000 on ur dad showing up then Carly: yea Carly: plot twist my nan rocks up like it hasnt been years Carly: carly who bitch Ali: bitch same Ali: missing nan gang Ali: conspiracy, like Carly: i kno where she is but she not trying to kno us Carly: family fights like Carly: boring Ali: gurl, so much in common Ali: let tommo regale you with the fuckery Ali: other peeps drama always be more fun Ali: WELL Carly: hes such a gossipy bitch Carly: ill tell him about all this so he can have fun w Ali: beat u to the reveal honey but Ali: always more scandal I probably saved him from Carly: you been chatting about me Carly: aw Ali: yeah Ali: keep my slagging on the downlow Ali: wise up lads Carly: its k cuz youre creative Carly: its all slut, slag and whore w them Ali: truly Ali: switch it up Carly: drew did skank and he was wasted so its not hard Ali: 🤢 Ali: anything drew is capable of is basal Carly: wtf does that mean tho Carly: he calls me a bitch a lot like boy thats mine and my girl's thing k bye Ali: he talks a lotta shit for such a lil bitch boy himself Ali: yeah, back off Ali: ur not part of the gang Carly: he wants to be on you so bad that id feel bad but cant cuz yea hes a prick Ali: i can't Ali: why bitch Ali: like, i'm nice the rest of the time but like, no nicer to him than any other acquaintance Ali: and rn its clear i lowkey hate Carly: cos youre you Carly: who wouldnt want that Ali: 😽 Ali: always out here hyping me up boo Carly: yea i love you Ali: i love you too bitch Carly: serious tho Carly: im sorry Carly: i hate it when youre mad at me Ali: i swear i was never mad at you Ali: who could be mad at that lil face Ali: right teachers? 🤞 Carly: ha Carly: well they saw me making a seduction face like Carly: my bad Ali: don't act like you didn't love that too lads Carly: you kno Carly: youve seen it its good Ali: willing to write that review Carly: aww Carly: so sweet Carly: id give you top marks too baby Ali: you better 😒 Ali: don't be lying to me or yourself baby 😏 Carly: ha Carly: nah youre the best Carly: no lie Ali: 😳 Carly: so cute Ali: just trying make me have a huge head to drag my cute down Carly: nah you earned those props from me Carly: put a lot of work in Ali: no slacker 💪 Carly: facts Carly: lot of fun Ali: funsized Ali: that's my secret Carly: aw Carly: but were the same size tho Ali: exactly Ali: team pocket rocket Ali: get out giant boys Carly: your boy gotta stay cuz hes not i see you bitch Ali: 😎 Ali: you said yourself, i'm too smart Carly: 🖕 Ali: how tall is my brother Ali: forgot Ali: kick him out of his own partay how rude Carly: shit Carly: sorry boy Ali: can walk on his knees if he wanna hang Carly: or hands Carly: wtf would that make a difference nah Ali: nah babe Ali: that perfect form Ali: twat 😒😂 Carly: im too sober to have thoughts Carly: no scholarship to a fancy school for me Ali: don't be fooled, he only there 'cos he can twerk good 💅 Ali: #bitchmetoothefuck Carly: fuck why you worried about me getting expelled from here if thats what it takes to go there Carly: i got this Ali: you just gon leave me like that Ali: 😞 ok Carly: nah Carly: come w me baby Ali: running away to london Ali: heard worse plans Carly: you kno Carly: be fun Carly: we always have a good time running off together Ali: no lie Ali: maybe we can crash when he goes back early to get settled 'cos he's dramatic like that Ali: lots of fit boys, can't all be gay Carly: are they allowed to fuck Carly: or is it like footballers and shit Ali: Ooh Ali: we'll have to ask Ali: good pickup line, babe Carly: i'll ask your brother if hes getting any Ali: he'll die of embarrassment 💀 Carly: aw Carly: is he a virgin serious Ali: I think so Ali: he won't say obvs, withholding that ☕ so shady Carly: i'll ask Carly: find him a cutie to do the honors Ali: 🙈 Ali: he was feeling sorry for you but he gon' wanna square up now too Carly: yea? Carly: i need the practice if i gotta fight leesha again Ali: 😒 she better stay tf away if she knows what's good Ali: still, he used to being target practice Ali: he quick tho Carly: teach me those ballerina girl moves Carly: never went as a kid Ali: aww baby Ali: i did for the hottest of secs but Carly: bet your ma has pics im hitting her up Ali: yeah, she loves pissing herself @ me, the cow Ali: you can join now, or yoga with me, your fave 😉 Carly: nah Carly: got enough teachers on my case Carly: & bitchy girls Ali: 😱 Ali: i ain't that bad, rude Carly: never you my baby Carly: youre the only one who isnt Ali: bus full of bitches Ali: sounds like a song marlene would write Carly: pitch it to her Carly: or find her in the club Ali: maybe Ali: idk if she's got a girl rn Ali: we shall see Carly: me & her Carly: weird Carly: i'll ask her if shes feeling it Ali: oh lord Ali: can't play with her like a boy tho Ali: wifey'd up before you know it Carly: nah she scares me Carly: im a good wife tho Ali: you is Ali: but you wanna be? Carly: what? Ali: you don't wanna be no wifey Carly: not hers Ali: as long as not his either then we good Carly: ha Ali: 👀 Carly: what you saying w those beautiful eyes boo Ali: i see u and ur lack of a response is what i'm sayin Ali: honeyyyy Carly: dont Carly: i said about him before thats it Ali: i'm just playing Carly: dont Carly: he thinks it too Carly: such a prick Ali: i'm soz baby Ali: he thinks everyone loves him as much as he does Carly: yea Carly: i need to find a new dealer Ali: honey, in this town? done is done Ali: find one tonight Carly: so smart