#& scheduling it to post on sunday afternoon while i'm still at work to avoid dealing w potential fallout .......
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sarahlancashire · 20 hours ago
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dyke-onic carla connor quotes:
"high maintenance, annoying, nearly fifty divorcee seeks ..."
"you mustn't put yourself in harm's way [...] not just for betsy's sake"
"lisa? lisa??? can we talk??? [...] i can wait!!! we need to speak about last night!!!"
"you think i'm a tourist, right? [...] surely that does us both a disservice, thinking that?"
"you need to stop using yourself as a punching bag"
"oh, well, if you're exhausted, you can always [apologise] another time"
"lisa, that's not going to happen [...] i'll make sure of it, alright?"
"these all your crisps?"
"don't get dressed"
"it's a good job i'm an angel, then"
"you can't apologise for living your life"
"i am not going to apologise. betsy, you get one life, and it's short, and what is so wrong in trying to wring some joy out of it?"
"oh, great, terrific, just what i need!"
“you can tell me anything, any time, know that”
“no visitors!!! [realising it’s lisa visiting] […] do i look alright?”
“get me those, erm… things… i needed”
"what if i've changed my mind?"
"... and they say romance is dead"
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ssuperficialspacecadett · 2 years ago
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Crutches and Crushes
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Chapter Three of the Through the Scope series | Chapter Four
Rating: Mature
Word Count: 4.9K
TW: Unhealthy relationship and mentions of cocaine
Chapter Overview: You run into Frankie while you are out shopping.
Notes: Hey everyone ! I love that I'm still going to say no set posting schedule even though I have been consistent in my posting schedule. I just don't want to give a day and then miss it and blah blah blah. ANYWAY I'm absolutely beside myself that people wanted to be on the tag list for this series (i could cry) so thank you to the people that are investing time into this just like me (: my asks are always open if you want to chat about this series in particular or literally anything else !! happy reading <3
*no use of y/n & female presenting reader*
— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —
With a whole week of work at Brass Knuckles now officially under your belt, your dad wanted to celebrate. He called you and asked if you would come and eat lunch with him on Sunday afternoon. You knew that this meant you would be the one selected to go pick up and pay for lunch at some restaurant, but it was the fact that he remembered in the first place. Your dad was the kind of man that remembered globally recognized celebratory events: Christmas, Valentine’s Day, and Thanksgiving. However, he struggled a bit with remembering ones that hit closer to home: your birthday, his own wedding anniversary, and any school function you had. You knew that he never did this with any malice or bad intentions, that wasn’t in his nature, but that didn’t ever numb the pain when it inevitably happened. 
“Did you really have to get me a salad?” 
You already knew that he was going to ask this. “Yes, I did.”
“Well could you have at least ordered me one that is topped with fried chicken and not this skinless bitch chicken.”
“Fried meats are one of the main foods that you have to avoid because of your diabetes,” You narrow your eyes at him. “So eat your ‘bitch chicken’ and be happy.”
“You’re right, you’re right. I’m sorry, Sweet Pea. Thank you for bringing the food and for putting up with me.” 
“Of course, dad, but speaking of putting up with you…how has your physical therapy been going with Miss. Maggie?”
“I have my good days and my bad days. I actually managed to hold myself up on the uhh…what’s that thing called again? The one that has those horizontal poles on either side of me?”
“The parallel bars?”
“Yeah!” He snaps his fingers together. “I managed to hold myself up on the parallel bars, but I used all my strength focusing on not falling over which meant that I didn’t have much left in me when it came time to try taking a step.”
“I’m still really proud of you! Doing everything that you’re doing isn’t easy. All that anyone can ask is that you take it day by day and to try your best.”
“When did you grow up and get so smart?” His voice sounds airy. 
“When you blinked.”
“Is that so? Okay, smarty pants, what’s the first thing that I’m going to do when I can walk on my own again?”
You lean back in your seat and ponder his question. It wouldn’t have anything to do with playing cards, since he has that poker tournament every Sunday evening. It wouldn’t be going on a date, although you suspect he might have a little thing for Miss. Maggie. As you rack your brain for the answer a car fires up its engine in the retirement home parking lot. Got it.
“The first thing that you’re going to do when you can walk on your own is go to a car show. Then after you’re done, you’ll probably go get the greasiest burger you can get your hands on just to spite me.” 
“Fuckin’ hell. You got me all figured out.” 
“How about this? We go to the car show together, but skip the burgers.”
“Or we go to the car show together, skip the burgers, and get a basket of fries instead?”
You know when you're in the middle of a losing argument. A frustrated sigh comes from you as you nod your head at his counter-proposal. 
“Deal, dad.” 
***
You should have known this was a bad idea. You should have turned your car around the moment you saw how packed the parking lot was. Days like today were the reason why online shopping and curbside delivery were invented. Unfortunately for you, you had no better way to spend the afternoon of your day off than braving the hectic crowds of IKEA. Your desperate need for items inside the store outweighed your hesitation to go inside. You have only just grabbed a basket when your phone starts ringing.
“Thank fucking god you called, Robbie. I just got into IKEA and I need someone to talk to so I don’t get completely overwhelmed here.” 
You spend the next 45 minutes wandering in and out of different furniture sections while filling Robbie in about your new job and friends. You tell her about Benny and how he has become your closest friend so far down here. She audibly gags when you mention Brunson and how he acted when you first met him. Although you reassure her that Benny stepped in and shut him down, she still has a few choice words that you hope the family standing next to you can’t hear through the phone. 
By the time you finally bring up Will, Pope, and Frankie your basket is quite full. You found all the kitchenware you needed: pots and pans, cups, plates, bowls, utensils, etc. Then for your room you got a nightstand, a dresser drawer, a lamp, decorative throw pillows, and a full length mirror to hang on your closet door. You wrote down the item numbers for some of the items that are too big to cart around, kitchen table and chairs and a couch, so you could order them on a later date. 
“So, Santiago is Pope, Will is Ironhead, Frankie is Catfish, and Benny is…just Benny?” 
“It’s weird, I know.” You laugh. “They’re all really sweet, but Frankie is by far the most attractive one in the group.” 
“What did I fucking say?! I knew that you would have better luck finding a boyfriend in Florida than back home!”
“He’s not my boyfriend! I just think he’s cute, damn!”
“Tell me about him! I need a good mental image.”
“He’s a few inches taller than me, maybe 5’11? His hair curls at the end and is this beautiful brown which matches his eyes. Broad, and I mean broad, shoulders.” Robbie squeals on the other end of the phone. “Big nose and probably 10-15 years older than me?”
“I told you that you like ‘em older.”
You playfully roll your eyes at her comment as you walk into the section of the store that carries the bed frames.
“But I think you would really like Will. He’s tall, ruggedly handsome, has a sexy southern accent, and seems really smart.”
She’s quiet on the other end of the phone while you explain more about him to her. You love Robbie, but the men that she has dated in the past couldn’t match her on any level. She needed a partner that could challenge her intellectually and push her out of her comfort zone. Will is the kind of man that could do that for her. 
“Basically, what I’m trying to tell you is that you should date men that are actually men.”
“Well, it looks like I’ll have some homework to do when I come down next month for spring break.”
“Just give him a chance, that’s all I’m asking. Hey, I should probably go. I’ve already been here way longer than I intended and if I keep talking to you there's no telling when I’ll finish.” 
The two of you make plans to talk later and you hang up the phone. Now to find a bed frame and get the fuck out of here. You survey the room to see if anything catches your eye and something does. The only issue is that it's not a piece of furniture. Familiar curls peek out from underneath a black cap. He’s facing away from you which allows you to read the lettering on the back of his shirt.
B.K.B.G Sponsor of the Month
Tire Town Auto Body Repair Shop
When you first met Frankie, Benny had accidentally cut it short. You have been embarrassingly hung up on the fact that you didn’t get to talk to him the way you had with the other two men that evening. Now the universe has allowed you a second chance by placing him just a few feet away. You find yourself stuck in between feeling excitement and apprehension to approach him. Would he think you were weird if you came up and talked to him? Would he see you as Benny’s little receptionist and nothing more? These questions and countless more plague your mind as your feet guide you over to him. 
“Uhh…Frankie?”
He turns around and looks down at you with those enchanting eyes. The wrinkles that form around them when he smiles softly at you echo the photo you saw of him. The front of his shirt has ‘B.K.B.G Friday Fight Night’ written in a large font across his chest. 
“Hey! What are you doing here?”
You shily gesture to your very full basket. “Turns out that one of the many consequences of moving quickly is having to buy all new furniture because you didn’t have time to bring the stuff you already owned.”
“Oh God, I’m sorry,” he chuckles and scratches the nape of his neck. “That was a stupid question.” 
“No, no it wasn’t! At least I have a job now so I can pay for it all.”
“How is that going by the way? You just finished your first week, right?” 
You try to convince yourself that him remembering how long you had already been working at Brass Knuckles for wasn’t a big deal. He had come into the gym on Monday and since today is Sunday, a logical person could conclude that you had completed your first week. Try as you might, you couldn’t stop the balloon-like swelling you felt in your heart. 
“I did! It was pretty good, honestly. I feel like I’ve got the hang of everything I’m in charge of. Speaking of Brass Knuckles, I like your shirt.”
He looks down at the shirt he probably didn’t think twice about throwing on this morning. 
“You don’t have one of the fight night shirts yet? I think this is the one my job sponsored.” You laugh as he tries to look over his shoulder to read the back of the shirt.
“No, I haven’t been to the fights yet. You work at Tire Town Auto Body Shop?”
“For the time being.” His eyes drift away while he says. You can tell that there is more to the story than he is letting on.
“Well it’s comforting to know that you work there,” His gaze falls back on you. “I have the worst luck with cars so it’s only a matter of time before I’ll need to find a shop.”
“I hope nothing goes wrong with your car, but if it does, just bring it over to me and I’ll take care of everything for you. Wait, wait…did you say that you haven’t been to the fights?”
“In my defense I have only known about them for a week! Benny is the only one I know there, but he is either preparing the fighters or organizing the event as a whole. I would feel out of place if I went by myself.”
“Well now you know me and Will and Pope. Come with us.”
“Really?” 
“Yeah,” he rests his hand on the edge of your cart. “It’s actually a pretty fun time. I would love it if you went with me- me and the guys.” You watch his fingers pick anxiously at a piece of tape on the end of one of your boxes.
“Sounds like a plan to me, Frankie.” 
Upon hearing you agree to go with him the corners of his lips curl into a smile. It’s so infectious that you find yourself beaming in the middle of the bustling store as well. His shyness makes you yearn to know what makes him tick. Makes you want to know how to coax that coveted smile out of him. Because maybe doing that will help you smile more as well. 
It looks like he is opening his mouth to say something when he’s cut off by the blaring of his ringtone. He easily takes the device out of his pocket, but falters when he sees the name that's displayed on the screen. His once relaxed demeanor has now been replaced by something tense and foreign to you. 
“I’ve uhh I’ve gotta take this. I’m so sorry.” He hits the answer button and places the phone to his ear. “Hello?”
“No worries,” You whisper to him. “I’m sure I’ll see you later.” 
You watch as he nods and starts to walk deeper into the store. Before he gets out of your ear shot you hear him say the name ‘Rochelle’. Leave it to you to be into a man that already has another woman first in line.
***
“Why do we always have to come to this dump? They don’t have any good drinks and the music sucks.”
Frankie sits across from Rochelle at a random table in The Barrel. He knew better than to let her sit at the guy's designated table. He didn’t want her to corrode them the way she had done with him. 
“Why do you want to get back together, Rochelle? We never made each other happy. Our whole relationship was a coked out blur.” 
“But you liked it.” She places her hand on his. It was cold and wet since she had been using it to hold her beer bottle. 
“I’m not the same man I was before, Rochelle. I can’t do shit like that anymore. I don’t want to do shit like that anymore.” He forces himself to look her in the eyes. “You know what it cost me.”
She meets his plea with a scoff and brings her drink to her overlined lips. She never seemed interested in conversations where she wasn’t leading or the center of attention. 
“You were fun. I was fun. We were fun. So what if we needed a little bump every now and then to get there?” Her fingers curl tighter around his hand. “I miss you, Frankie.”
He missed having someone ride shotgun. He missed having someone there when he needed to vent about the shitty day that he had at work. He missed having a warm body to sleep next to at night. He missed having someone to care for. He just didn’t know if he missed her. She gave him a distraction when he needed it in the past, but could she give him the support he needs now? The support he would inevitably need in the future?
“The only way I would consider revisiting ‘us’ is if it's just us. No more coke.”
He can see the annoyance in her eyes as he lays out his boundaries on the table. She slowly retracts her hand from his and coils it back around her glass. 
“Fine.” Her tone is flat.
“I’m not kidding. I want a fresh start. If we are going to try again I want to do it right.”
“Then let's start with that woman’s voice I heard on the other end of your phone today. Who was that?”
“Are you serio- I ran into Benny’s new hire while I was out shopping for stuff for my place. She’s new to the area and doesn’t have a lot of friends here yet. It was just a friendly conversation, Rochelle.”
"Well,” Her voice is syrupy sweet. “You don’t need to be her friend because you’re already mine.”
He really wanted to believe her when she said that. He really wanted to believe that she cared for him enough to change and grow as a person. He really wanted to ignore the sound of the water calling his name the longer he sat with her. 
***
By Wednesday, you felt completely at ease working in the gym. You recognized and chatted with regulars, became quite the sales woman for both memberships and Friday tickets, and were able to kick the washing machine into submission without Benny’s help. Your desk was also coming along nicely too. You had posted notes in your favorite color, a photo you and Robbie took together in a photobooth shoved into the top right corner of your computer, multi colored pens, and even a small filing basket so you could better organize your paperwork. Your new found confidence in the job gave you the push you needed to officially pitch the idea of gym wide air fresheners to Benny.
“I don’t want this place smellin’ like a fruity little spa.” 
“You do know that they make dozens, if not hundreds, of different kinds of scents right?”
“People come here to workout, not pretend that they are on a tropical vacation.” 
“People can’t workout if the smell suffocates them.” You retort.
“It’s not even that bad!”
“You’ve gone nose blind, Benny! Please know that I say this out of the kindness of my heart, but it is fucking rancid in here.” 
“Now you’re just bein’ mean.” 
“Listen, what if I buy some, only the most manly smelling ones of course, and let you test them out? It’s a win-win because you won’t have to charge them on the company card and if you hate them I can just return them all.”
“Alright, but you promise that I will get the final say?” 
“You’re the boss, Benny. Oh, what should we eat today?”
The two of you have been eating lunch together during the week. There is a good window of time right after the gym’s lunch rush and before the after work rush. You even made sure to block off at least an hour in Benny’s schedule around that time so he could have a much needed break. 
“Have you tried that burger place up the street? Goddamn, they’re so good.” 
“Burgers it is then. Text me your order so I know what to get you.”
What? Just because your dad has to be on a strict diet doesn’t mean that you have to be on one.
***
Benny had wheeled his rolly chair all the way from his back office and crammed it behind your desk. Both of you sit snugly with your feast of burgers and fries littered in front of you. The silence is only broken up by the occasional ‘can you pass the ketchup?’ or ‘are there extra napkins in the bag?’. When you have eaten half of your burger you decide to set it down and bring up what’s been on your mind. You know you can’t just come out and ask it so you opt to bring it up gradually. 
“I saw Frankie the other day while I was out and he suggested I come to the fights this Friday.”
“I’ve been askin’ you to come since you got here!” His mouth is still full from the last bite he took. 
“Gross, Benny!” You swat him in the shoulder. “I know you have been asking, but you’re busy helping organize things! You’re the only one I know here.”
You can’t tell if he chooses to keep his mouth shut because you’re right or because you just reprimanded him.
“Frankie said I could go with him and the other guys. Plus I have no social life and it's starting to feel like the walls of my apartment are closing in on me.”
“Regardless of who convinced you to go, I’m happy you’re comin’! You’re gonna have a blast! Fish and the guys throw down pretty hard at these things too so you’ll be in good company.” 
“Yeah I think I will be too.” You have to shove a fry in your mouth to hide the smile you can feel making its way across your lips. Only once you have finished chewing, you don’t want to be a hypocrite, do you bring up what you really have been wanting too. “Can I ask a question? It might not be my place though.”
The man across from you motions, burger in hand, for you to continue. You take a deep breath and rip the band-aid off.
“Well, Frankie and I’s conversation was actually cut short when he got a phone call. I wouldn’t have said anything except- except he looked so tense when he got it? I don’t know, maybe I’m imagining things.”
“No you’re definitely not imaginin’ things. I don’t want to get into Frankie’s business because that's his own shit to talk about, but long story short, a woman is tryin’ to come back into his life that shouldn’t have been there in the first place.”
You pick your burger back up and take a bite as he carries on with his story. 
“The guys and I all found ways to cope with comin’ back to reality after dealin’ with the worst of the worst in and out of the service. Mine was openin’ this place, Will’s was helpin’ other vet’s, Pope’s was bein’ a military consultant, and Frankie’s was…well Frankie’s was Rochelle.”
“Rochelle.” You wanted to feel how her name felt on your tongue. “I heard him say that name when he was walking away.”
“Damnit, Fish.”
***
“So, remind me again why we are here?”
Frankie pulls into Brass Knuckles’ parking lot with Pope in his passenger seat. He knew he should have done this without him. If anyone was going to sniff out that he had a small thing for you it was going to be Pope.
“Benny left some clothes at my place last week and since we were in the neighborhood I figured I would just drop them off.” 
“As opposed to giving them to him on Friday? Which is only two days from now, might I add.” He looks in the backseat and grabs the small cardboard box. “I think he would have made it until then without a t-shirt and a pair of jeans.”
“Shut up and get out of my truck, man.” 
Frankie takes the box of clothes out of Pope’s hands when they both round the bed of the truck and start walking towards the door. He can see you entranced by something on your computer screen through the windows. 
“I also invited her to come to the fights with us this week.” Frankie flicks his chin in your direction when Pope looks at him. 
“You already have her number? Damn, Fish. I thought I worked quickly.”
“No, man,” He groans. “We ran into each other while I was at IKEA on Sunday. I just thought it would be fun, you know? It’s not like that, Pope.” 
“Fish, you were a bad liar when we served together and you’re a bad liar now.” He turns to look at Frankie. “Come on, you think she’s cute don’t you?”
“She’s just cool.” He should have never brought Pope.
“Whatever you say.” 
The chime of the door bell pulls you from your emails. You’re shocked, but not unhappy, when you look up and see the two of them coming through the door.
“Hey guys. I didn’t know y’all were coming by today.”
“I would have texted you, love, but I haven’t got your number.” Pope flashes his signature beaming grin in your direction. 
“Well you never asked, love.” You tease. 
“We wanted to drop some things off for Benny.” Frankie says as he comes up and places a cardboard box gingerly on your desk.
“Who's ‘we’?” Pope gabs. 
Your attention stays on Frankie as you speak. “Oh, sure! He’s in the back office doing…actually I'm not really sure what he does back there.”
When Frankie doesn’t immediately move, Pope reaches over and slides the box towards himself. 
“Hey, what are you-?”
“Let me take this for you, Fish. Why don’t you stay here and get her number for me? Strictly for scientific purposes of course.” You can see a playful look in his eyes when he turns back to his clearly panicking friend. 
“Wait, no it’s-”
“It’s no big deal, exactly.” Pope whisks the box off your desk and starts walking into the gym, but not before tossing you a wink. 
It suddenly feels a little harder to breathe when it’s just the two of you up front. You want to compliment the soft, yellow jacket he is wearing, but no words come. The only thing you can selfishly focus on right now is your heart and how it's beating so hard in your chest that he can probably hear it. 
“It’s nice to see you again.” You think you can hear his voice shutter a bit.
“It’s nice to see you again too, Frankie. Still alright for me to come with everyone on Friday? I don’t want to impose.”
“You’re not imposing!” The words tumble out of his mouth. “You’re not imposing. I invited you, remember?” His tone settles.
“Thanks again for that by the way.” 
A silence falls between the two of you. You both must have been racking your brains for something to say because you speak at the same time.
“Did you-?”
“Were you able-?”
Comfortable laughter blossoms and it dawns on you that he might be just as nervous to talk to you as you were to talk to him. 
“No, no you go first!” You choke out while trying to catch your breath. 
“Did you end up getting anything else after I left the other day?” 
“I actually did; thanks for asking! I found a bed frame I liked. It took me longer than I'd like to admit to put it together though.” 
Frankie has never been more grateful for the front desk than in this exact moment. Images of your naked, writhing body cuffed to a bed frame flood his mind. God, he could do anything he wanted to you. He would take it slow at first, not wanting to leave any part of your body undiscovered by his tongue. Then, only when you were begging him, would he give you what you wanted. 
“Frankie?”
“I-I’m sorry what did you say?”
“I asked if you were able to find anything? You didn’t have a basket when I saw you.”
“No, I didn’t. The thing I wanted was just out of reach-stock! The thing I wanted was just out of stock.” He corrects.
“Oh, that’s too bad.” You pray your voice doesn’t give away the curiosity you have about his little slip up. “Here. Let me give you something to make up for it.” 
You take out a pen from its holder and move your stack of sticky notes in front of you. His eyes capture your every move. You write out your number slowly on the small piece of paper as you revel in the knowledge that you have his undivided attention. When you’re finished you sign it with your name and a tiny heart and pray that you haven’t misread this situation. 
“I know Pope was the one that asked for this, but I want you to hold on to it.” 
Your cheeks burn as you hand him your proverbial olive branch. When he takes it from you and reads what you had written he laughs quietly to himself. 
“You know, so you can text me about this Friday.”
“Not for scientific purposes?” He mimics his friend's earlier statement.
“Unlucky for Pope, I was never really that into the sciences.”
“Lucky for me then.” 
He folds up your note and carefully places it into his front shirt pocket. His timing couldn't have been better because Benny and Pope emerge from behind the brick wall as soon as he’s done. 
“I hear that you managed to convince our girl here to come with y’all to the fights, Fish! Good on you!” He comes up and claps his friend on the back. “I’m not at all jealous that you did it when I couldn’t.”
“Benny.” you chide.
“Why don’t you make it up to Benny and come to the bar with us?”
“One step at a time, Pope. One step at a time. I do have something for you though.”
He comes over to you as you start writing your number out again. Out of the corner of your eye you see him give Frankie and Benny and thumbs up. Oh you poor, sweet, incorrect bastard. You nonchalantly pass it to him and hope Frankie see’s that there is no heart drawn on this time. 
“Your reward for being such a big helper today by returning Benny’s clothes. If you text me in the middle of the night and wake me up I swear to God I’ll kill you.” 
“What bliss that would be.” 
“Hey! Unless y’all are gonna workout y’all better get a move on. Just because we are friends doesn’t mean y’all can take up valuable lobby space in my gym.” 
“We’re going, we’re going.” For a man that is getting ushered out of a building, Frankie sure looks happy. 
“Bye, guys!”
They both wave and say ‘bye’ to you and Benny as they open the door and head into the parking lot. Benny heads back to his office before they reach their truck, but you keep watching. As Frankie’s hand curls around his truck door, he looks back at you, and pats over his shirt pocket. Then he disappears inside and drives off with Pope. 
Frankie could feel the note he placed in his pocket burning a hole through his chest the whole ride back to Pope’s place. It made it hard to carry on a simple conversation with him because that fiery sensation was all he could focus on. It was the type of heat that seeped into his very bones and made him feel as if he was glowing from the inside out. He knew you had unknowingly seared yourself onto his heart and that feeling scared him.
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