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servin-up-surveys · 2 years ago

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survey #117

(taken february 21st; uploading surveys taken while gone)

Have you ever sat under a bridge? Yes, when fishing with Dad.

Do you ever go fishing or do you find it to be cruel? ^ lol what a coincidence. If you're fishing for food, I'm fine with it, but fishing solely for fun is absolutely something I find cruel nowadays. You are terrifying the life out of and damaging that animal and putting it back in the dirty water with an open wound. I'm not gonna lie and say I wouldn't still go if Dad asked me to because that was our "thing" growing up, and we also barely ever see each other, so I would suck it up in that case.

Do you have trouble remembering people’s names? Absolutely yes. You're lucky as hell if I remember your name early.

What’s your favorite kind of tree? Wisteria. I adore weeping willows, too.

Do you like mozzarella sticks? No.

Do you share any of the same favorite bands as your parents/guardians? Ozzy is like, Mom's second-favorite artist after Metallica, I'm pretty sure. I know he's WAY up there. She likes loads other bands that I like too. Dad's favorite is Van Halen (that I know of), who I also really enjoy, but they're not a real "favorite."

Have you ever been in a wedding? I was a bridesmaid in my sister's, yes. I was supposed to be one in another sister's wedding as well, but at this time Mom was diagnosed with cancer and going through chemo so getting to Ohio was out of the question. I'm pretty sure Misty had the ceremony filmed for Mom; she is basically THE only mother she's ever had and desperately wanted her there, but she of course completely and entirely understood why it wasn't reasonable.

Who’s the last person’s birthday that you celebrated? What’d you do? My niece Emerson's. Per usual for my sister's kids' parties, we really just got together at her place with family and friends, chatted, ate, let the kids play.

Are your parents divorced? If so, when did it happen? Yeah. I was like, 17-ish.

Have you ever attended a bachelorette party? No.

What do you take pictures of most often? My cat, lol.

Have you ever gotten your period more than once in a month? I feel like this has happened once? Maybe?

What’s the smallest animal that you’re afraid of? Ticks, most likely. I am TERRIFIED of them.

What was your parents’ opinion on same-sex relationships? Mom is totally for them. I don't know about Dad, but just knowing who he is as a person/the general gist of how he thinks, he probably thinks it's unnatural or weird. He was perfectly decent to Sara when she visited though and he met her, and he knew we were dating.

What’s one alcoholic beverage that you do not enjoy? I've never tried a wine I enjoyed.

Have you ever had someone throw up on you before? No, I'd basically rather die.

Do you prefer pads or tampons, if you need them? I hate both honestly, but I semi-recently went back to pads.

How old did your oldest pet live to be? What kind of pet was it? I'm pretty sure that would be my dog Teddy. He made it to 13. He was a beagle/cocker spaniel mix.

What’s the best movie without a happy ending? The Boy in the Striped Pajamas comes to mind. It's sad as absolute hell, but the ending FUCKING haunts you. It shoves in your face the absolute evil humanity is capable of, and to never, ever let an event like the Holocaust happen EVER again.

What is something you think is actually better about today’s generation? I think each generation is getting better at being accepting of people they don't understand and even encouraging them to be themselves, even if they don't "get it." Also very worth mentioning is how mental health problems are being noticeably destigmatized.

What’s the worst episode of your favorite TV show? It's not that it's a bad episode story-wise or how it's portrayed or anything, but the MM episode where Flower dies just fucking destroyed me, and I'd probably still cry if I re-watched it.

Which fictional character do you think you’d be great friends with? Clearsight from Wings of Fire.

Do you have the same religious beliefs as your parents? Absolutely not. Both are Christians, while I quite seriously abhor religion.

What’s your favorite Led Zeppelin song? "Kashmir" is fucking iconic.

Who would you call a lyrical genius? Otep Shamaya.

Who supports you financially? Mostly Mom, but also my dad.

Who knows the most about you (besides yourself)? Mom, maybe? Though there are types of things I don't share with her that I do with select others.

Would you be/are you a good role model to a younger sibling? I know I'm not. No one would ever guess Nicole is my "little" sister given how successful, independent, and capable she is. It kinda hit me like a meteor recently how I don't think I've ever heard either of my sisters say anything along the lines of them being proud of me or anything, ever. I very genuinely think I'm embarrassing to both of them.

Who was the last non-relative woman you spoke to in person? A lady at the social security office.

What’s a topic you’ve drastically changed your opinion on? A metric shit-ton of things truly, but one of the strongest and most drastic is my view on gay rights. I used to be a homophobic/transphobic Christian, and now I very sincerely wish I could strangle that bitch. I am VERY pro-LGBTQ+ now and have been for many years.

How many bedrooms does your house have? TECHNICALLY three, but the extra bedroom is this spare kind of "office" room I have where I sit at the computer.

Have you ever experienced sleep paralysis? No, and let's PLEASE keep it that way. That shit sounds terrifying.

Does the thought of having wrinkles when you’re older upset you? Not really, I mean, literally every single person who lives a truly full life gets there... I don't WANT them, but knowing I will doesn't upset me.

Do you know anyone who’s struggling with addiction? Yes. I mean all things considered, I myself am. Granted, I'm not addicted to anything that is in itself dangerous, like drugs or alcohol or self-harm, but the severity of how reliant I am on technology/the Internet is ABSOLUTELY an addiction and it severely does control my life.

Are any other members of your household home right now? Mom's home, yeah.

Were you upset when you found out certain things weren’t real? (santa, tooth fairy...) Not *upset*, no. By the time I learned those things weren't real, I'd totally suspected it. Of course I wanted them to be real, 'cuz I mean what kid DOESN'T want to believe in fun, magical stuff like that, but I wasn't upset at all.

Name something you’re proud of. Brag a little bit. I really am proud of myself for how dedicated I'm being in job-hunting. It feels FUCKING GOOD to FINALLY be in a place where I feel like if I find the right conditions, I really can work. I'm checking the Indeed website every single day, searching various terms or job titles that I think might bring up something worth investigating, and I refuse to stop until I find something.

Where would you like to go right now? I miss Girt already lol, I wish he was here or I was at his place, but he's working today. He stayed late last night (and it takes him around 30 minutes to get home) so he's probably a zombie right now.

Do you pay any attention to celebrity drama? Uh no, I could NOT care less.

What’s been an embarrassing phase you went through? If the "s0 raNdOM XDDD!!!!" pre-teen Brittany manifested as her own human being, I would LITERALLY set out on a quest to murder her and bury her miles underground lmfao

What’s the ugliest animal in your opinion? Probably like, the blobfish lmao.

What about cutest? Meerkats. Call it a bias, but COME ON, they're foot-tall little furry dudes with big eyes and make cute noises and can stand on their hind legs thinkin' they're all big 'n' shit, I FUCKING love them.

Are you good at math? No, and I've gotten worse and worse the older I've gotten. Whenever numbers are involved in honestly like, anything, I just CANNOT interpret information. Like you can explain and explain and explain, and I'm just NOT going to understand. It's honestly extremely embarrassing, just how bad my ability to understand math is.

Have you given any thought about what the Christian god looks like? How they think their devil looks. :^)

What’s your most used emojis? Most likely the sobbing one. I use it for both obviously sad cases but probably even more so like the "crying from laughing" kind of way.

Who’s one of the most talented people you know? What are they talented at? That's... so hard, picking just one. I absolutely consider Tez very high on this list, given his fantastic art skills, in a serious plethora of forms. I also think he's a very strong writer with FANTASTIC character-building skills.

Have you ever experienced a medical emergency? Yes. Off the top of my head, a concussion and a cold medicine overdose. I don't THINK breaking my wrist was a real medical emergency, like I obviously wasn't dying or at any serious, life-threatening risk.

Are you muscular? Uh, NO.

Do you have one of those removable hand-held shower heads? Yes; they're kinda mandatory for me anyway, using a shower chair. Even when I could comfortably shower standing up though, I very much preferred when you could remove them because I found it much easier to thoroughly get soap off everywhere.

How many burners does your stove have? Four.

When you go to a restaurant, do you prefer to sit at a booth or a table? Booth.

Has your car ever been broken into? No.

What genre was the last song you listened to? Who provided the vocals? Uh Asking Alexandria is some kind of heavier metal, but the song is a Nine Inch Nails cover, and I have no idea what you'd consider the genre of the OG bc I don't really listen to or like that band. The singer of Asking Alexandria at the time was Danny Worsnop, apparently.

Do you have any medical appointments coming up anytime soon? Always, honestly... I know I'm fucking finally seeing an endocrinologist soon, I think next month or the one after.

Have you heard anyone singing today, or has anyone sung in your presence? Besides listening to music, no, I don't think so.

What food or drinks makes your teeth hurt? Ice cream absolutely can.

Who did you last hold hands with? Girt.

Do you have a loud or more soft laugh? I'm a fucking hyena stg

Is there anyone who makes you smile no matter what mood you’re in? Girt seriously can.

Have you ever stargazed with someone? Kinda, I guess.

Are there any things coming up that you have to travel for? Uhhhh not that I know of. I know Mom wants to go back up to New York, but it's looking like she MIGHT be reconciling with and seeing her absolute rancid shitbag of a brother that nearly tore the family apart after their mom died, and I told her I fucking REFUSE to go if we're staying at his house. I won't even visit that fucking house, ever again. He is no family of mine. My mom is way more forgiving than I am, but what's wild is it's not like Rob has changed at all... The law just squeezed him into doing what he had to do if he didn't want to go to jail. Her other brother Bill, who REALLY dealt with Rob and his catastrophic bullshit, is on the same page as me; he refuses to call him family ever again. I'll stay with HIS family if we go up there. I absolutely adore his wife and want to see her again anyway.

What’s one of your biggest accomplishments today? I actually very thoroughly did my PT exercises. More than I usually do, with more focus, and the appropriate number of sets. I FELT it. I'm getting better about doing them as time passes; it's just been a challenge to remember them and solidify them into my routine.

What was the name of the main character in the last book you read? In the one I'm currently in the process of reading, his name is Turtle.

What was the last pill you took? Ibuprofen. I had a headache. Probably from staying up all night last night and only allowing myself to sleep like, 2-3 hours in the morning...

If you were a rockstar, what color guitar would you have? Ehhhh maybe black, but with a cool design or texture on it.

What are three other names you like that start with the same letter as your name? Uhhh Bianca, Bella, and uh... Belle? Not many come to mind that I really love.

Have you ever met a Jason that you didn’t like? A Jason scarred me for life, lmfao, but I don't not like him.

What was the name of the person who bullied you the most in high school? Just Rachel, really. But that was brief... ish.

#survey #surveys #random questions #personal questions

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olliepig · 4 years ago

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Centre Stage chapter 7

Huge thanks to beta extraordinaire @willow-salix for helping me to knock this into shape, and to both her and @misssquidtracy for listening to me moaning about it for the last few weeks.

As always, it’s on AO3 here.

*****

“I’ll take these,” Scott smiled as he held out his arm, allowing Cat to drape her coat over it. “Why don’t you go and pour us a drink while I hang them up?”

“Sounds like a good plan to me,” Cat grinned, ghosting a kiss across his lips before turning and heading towards the small bar in the lounge, a smile continuing to play on the corners of her lips at the promise of more to come.

Grabbing the glasses, she busied herself pouring some wine for herself and a whisky for Scott, wrinkling her nose at the smell as she crossed the room and set it down on the table before making herself comfortable on the enormous sofa. It was not a drink that she liked particularly, although she had to admit that only ever tasting it as it sat on Scott’s lips was definitely making it more palatable to her.

Taking a sip of her drink, she relaxed back into the cushions, happily reliving the events of the evening. Despite being out of sorts when leaving for dinner, Scott’s mood had improved greatly once they had arrived at the restaurant and they had spent the whole meal laughing and reminiscing about all the other times they had been there. The food was still just as good as they remembered and she had thoroughly enjoyed revisiting it, even if the start of the meal had been marred slightly by the fallout from her interaction with Penny before they had left for dinner.

She still felt terrible for snapping at Scott when he was only trying to help and knew that an apology was needed, along with an explanation of what had caused her to react like that. It wasn’t something that she was looking forward to, but their agreement that good communication would be key to keeping their relationship running smoothly was fresh in her mind and she was unwilling to repeat past mistakes by brushing it under the carpet and pretending that nothing had happened. She had clearly upset him, even if she didn’t fully understand how that upset had translated into his uncertainty about his choice of restaurant for the night. It was a mystery that she hoped to get to the bottom of as it definitely seemed to her that there was something more going on that she hadn't been privy to.

Sensing movement behind her, she turned, a smile creeping onto her lips as she placed her glass back on the table and stood to meet him, her eyes locked onto his. Looping her arms around his neck, she enjoyed the look of surprise on his face as she pulled him into her. She caught his lips with her own in a soft, lingering kiss before pressing herself closer, burying her head in his chest as she savoured the feel of his warm body through her dress.

“What was that for?” he grinned, kissing her forehead before pulling back a little to take in the beautiful girl that he seemed to be lucky enough to be holding in his arms.

“Nothing,” Cat smiled innocently, as she shifted in his arms in order to place a soft kiss at the base of his throat where his shirt collar was sitting open. “It’s just been a while since I got to kiss you properly so I thought I’d take the opportunity.”

“It’s been four hours,” Scott laughed, trying to ignore the shivers of pleasure that were shooting through him as she kissed up his neck and along his jaw. “And I’m pretty sure you’ve managed longer than that in the past.”

“Only because I’ve had to,” Cat shrugged. “If it’s not a necessity, then why should I? Anyway, I don’t see you complaining.”

“Damn right I’m not,” Scott grinned, a dangerous sparkle appearing in his eyes as he gave in to her, capturing her mouth with his once more in a bruising kiss. Without warning he scooped her up in his arms, ignoring her shrieks of surprise as he carried her back across the room and laid her gently on the sofa.

“What are you doing?” Cat giggled, struggling to sit up again as he kissed his way up her neck, nipping playfully at her skin with his teeth. “We can’t do that on the sofa.”

“Why not?” he asked, raising an eyebrow quizzically as he sat up to look at her. “We’ve done it on your sofa before.”

“That’s different.” “I don’t see how,” he replied a little huffily. “They’re both about the same size.”

“Because that’s my sofa,” Cat explained patiently, trying very hard to ignore the sensation of Scott sliding his hand up her leg. “Cleaning sofa cushions is a total faff and other people will be sitting here tomorrow. That's just nasty.”

“So you don’t want me to keep doing this then?” Scott grinned, punctuating each word with a kiss, moving his way up her neck, nuzzling in under her hair.

“You’re such a pain in my arse, Scott Tracy,” Cat complained, unable to keep the smile off her face as his warm breath made her heart race. “I needed to talk to you and this is not helping me focus.”

“Oh God, I’m sorry,” Scott apologised, pushing himself back up, concern visible in his eyes as his mind instantly flashed back to his earlier worries. “Is everything OK?”

Cat suppressed a giggle at his sudden change in demeanour as she struggled upright, smoothing down her dress where it had ridden up around her thighs. You could take the man away from International Rescue, she thought, but you could never get him to switch off completely.

“Everything’s fine, you don’t need to worry” she soothed, reaching out to cup his face with her hand, smiling when he kissed her palm as he leant in to her touch. “I just wanted to apologise for snapping at you earlier when I was angry with Penny. I shouldn’t have taken it out on you and I’m sorry.”

“That’s OK,” Scott smiled, letting out a breath he hadn’t been aware he was holding as relief surged through him. “I was a bit worried that I’d done something to upset you, but so long as everything’s alright then it’s fine.”

“What could you possibly have done to upset me?” Cat asked, shocked that he could have thought such a thing.

“It’s stupid really,” Scott began, taking a deep breath as he forced himself to admit to his insecurity, remembering their promise of open communication and honesty. “I just wasn’t sure if you were happy with where we were going for dinner, and when you snapped at me I thought that you’d maybe been complaining about it to Penny.”

“Oh sweetheart,” Cat exclaimed, throwing her arms around him and practically bowling him over backwards onto the sofa. “I’m so sorry you thought that but I promise I wouldn’t do that to you. If I had an issue with anything I’d talk to you, not go bitching about it behind your back.”

“See, logically I knew that,” Scott smiled as she brushed his cheek with her lips and pushed herself upright again, reassured by her response that all his issues had been in his head. “I was just worried that tonight wasn’t going to be as fancy as you hoped it was going to be. I’d just spotted your evening dress in the wardrobe and I was worried that you’d been hoping to go somewhere that you could wear it. Then I walked into the room and you were angry and I guess I just panicked a bit.”

“Well, that explains why you were asking me so often if I was happy to go to Tarrants when we were leaving,” Cat interjected, feeling a wave of shame that she had made him feel that way wash over her as she realised it had been her actions that had triggered his uncertainty.

“When I first decided to bring you here, I was going to take you out to one of the really nice restaurants in town,” he explained, taking a sip of his drink for strength before placing it carefully back on the table and continuing. “But when I really thought about it, all I could picture was going back to the places we used to go.”

“And you were worried that I’d think that you were being a cheap date or something?” Cat questioned, her brows knitted together in confusion as she tried to follow his line of thinking.

“Something like that,” he nodded. “I always wanted to take you to fancy places before, but on my salary, I just couldn’t quite justify it and now that I can, all I want to do is revisit old memories.”

“And you know something? That’s what made tonight so special,” Cat smiled softly as she pulled him towards her and kissed him gently, her heart melting at his sentimentality. “We can go to fancy restaurants anywhere in the world, but these places that have significance to us? They only exist here and we should visit them again.”

“Are you sure?” Scott checked, still not fully allowing himself to believe that he hadn’t messed things up. “You’re not disappointed that you didn’t get to wear that dress that’s in the wardrobe?”

“Is that what this is about?” Cat couldn’t help the laugh of surprise that escaped her, amazed that he could possibly think she’d be upset about wearing a dress. “I only brought that because I had no idea what to expect. I talked to Penny last week and she said I should be prepared for every eventuality so I thought I’d chuck in something more formal just in case.”

“Really?” Scott couldn’t help but ask again.

“Really,” Cat reassured him. “But what’s this actually about Scott? 'Cause this isn’t like you.”

“Nothing gets past you, does it?” he asked with a wry grin, lifting her hand to his lips and kissing it softly. “Honestly, I don’t even know. I was really looking forward to having a nice meal out at a place that used to mean a lot to us and up until we were about to leave I was totally sure it was a great plan. Then I saw that dress and you were angry and snapped at me, and I started to think I’d got it all completely wrong and that you’d be happier going somewhere a bit fancier.”

He paused, taking another sip of his drink as he tried to sort through his thoughts enough to get to the root of the problem. Swirling the liquid around in the glass, words formed that he didn’t even want to say for fear of offending her, but he had promised that he would always be honest and so he steeled himself for her reaction.

“I guess I… I just let myself get worried that because of who I am, you expected more from me,” he finished quietly, hardly daring to look at her.

“But I don’t expect anything from you Scott, surely you know that?” Cat inquired, squeezing his hand, needing to feel the connection with him as she tried to silence her brain that was currently screaming that she ought to be upset by his words. Instead, all she felt was compassion, knowing that this wasn’t normal for the man she knew and loved.

“I didn't mean I think you’re some kind of gold digger or anything,” he hastily explained, hating what he knew he’d just implied. “It’s just that you’re so glamorous now. You always look incredible, and you get invited to all these galas and fancy openings of things, and I thought I was letting you down tonight.”

“OK, I think I understand,” Cat nodded, relaxing back on the sofa as her whirling thoughts quickly calmed, the logic behind his statement sinking in. “I know I dress a bit differently now, but it’s just because I can afford to, not because I’ve changed inside. And you couldn’t let me down if you tried, so please, don’t get worried about that.”

“I’m sorry,” he smiled at her ruefully in that way that always made her heart melt. “I know I’m an idiot but I’ve had experiences before with people who were only with me because of my name and my money. I guess I just forgot that I don’t need to worry about that anymore.”

“The unfortunate downside of your success?” Cat sympathised, realising that his job wasn’t the only thing that had made it hard for him to form relationships while they had been apart. “That must have been so hard to deal with.”

“It had its moments,” Scott agreed with a small smile, hoping that she hadn’t seen the flash of pain that had shot through him at the memory of the last relationship he had attempted. “Those kinds of girls were pretty easy to weed out, to be honest, 'cause they tended to get pretty angry when they realised that, just because I could afford to take them out to nice places, it wasn’t always what I wanted to do. It was the one that tried to play the long game that was the real problem...”

Scott flopped back on the sofa, running a hand through his hair as he tried, once again, to marshal his thoughts, knowing that there was a conversation there if he could just get up the courage to revisit a memory that he’d rather forget. Feeling Cat’s eyes on him, he forced himself to look up and meet them, finding them full of compassion and love that made his heart swell. Reaching out, he cupped her cheek, softly tracing the pad of his thumb over the soft skin beneath her eye as she leaned into his touch, turning her head just enough to gently press her lips to his palm. In that moment, he felt like the luckiest man alive to have someone who was willing to listen and try to understand him rather than jumping to conclusions and flying off the handle as others had done before her.

“I just don’t want to let you down,” he continued, voicing one of his deepest and most abiding fears as he took both of her hands in his and gave them a squeeze. “You’re amazing and beautiful and glamorous and you deserve to be treated to all the fancy restaurants and parties in the world, but that’s not really me. I like going out and doing that sort of thing sometimes but a lot of the time I’d rather just stay home and order pizza.”

“And so would I,” Cat assured him, watching him carefully as she rubbed the back of his hand with her thumb, wanting the comfort of his closeness while still well aware that there were still things that she wasn’t being told. “Scott, listen, I know you think you’ve got me all figured out but that version of me in your head isn’t real. The real me couldn’t give a flying fuck about fancy places 'cause the food in them is too small to be considered a meal anyway. Yeah, it’s fun getting dressed up and going out sometimes but most of the time I’m happier on the sofa with a takeaway.”

“Really?” he checked, as she moved slightly closer to him, feeling his tense shoulders relax slightly in relief that her reassuring words were being backed up by her actions.

“Really,” she smiled, glad that his uncertainty seemed to be lifting. “I love you. And one of the reasons that I love you is because you’re a sentimental sod who could have chosen to go literally anywhere in the world but decided to take me back to our favourite restaurant, ten years after we were last there. That’s the real you, and the girl that sat opposite you all night, grinning like a loon, is the real me.”

Scott relaxed back on the sofa with a sigh, dropping her hands to rub his face before looking back up at her. “Thank you. You were the last girlfriend I had where I could properly be myself without worrying, so it’s been a while, and I guess I’m still getting used to it again.”

“And that’s OK,” Cat soothed. “We’ve not been together that long and it’s absolutely fine to still be finding our feet. Just because we dated before doesn’t mean we know each other perfectly now. All it means is that we have a bit of a headstart on the basics.”

“I guess you’re right. I always expect too much, too fast,” he sighed, rubbing face in frustration at his constant need to have everything right away.

“No, you’re just passionate. You care about everything and everyone and that’s no bad thing.”

“Try telling that to my grandfather,” Scott muttered darkly, his eyes shooting up to meet Cat’s as he realised what he’d said.

“Scott?” she questioned, suddenly feeling uneasy, her concern written across her face.

Shifting uncomfortably on the sofa, Scott finished his drink in a single gulp before abruptly standing. Striding over to the bar in silence to refill his glass, his mind whirled with thoughts he’d kept to himself for decades. Grabbing the bottle, he resisted the urge to take a swig, instead watching intently as he poured the golden liquid into his tumbler. He paused, preparing himself before heading back over to the sofa, knowing she'd want him to talk but still no clearer as to what he was going to say.

Cat sat quietly watching him, confused and unable to get a read on what he was thinking, her mind flooded with concern for the man she loved. She had no idea what he could possibly be about to say, or even if he would choose to share with her whatever it was that was bothering him. All she knew beyond any doubt, as he settled himself next to her again, was that she would be there for him no matter what he decided.

“My grandfather on mom’s side of the family, he had some interesting views on what it took to be a proper man,” he started tentatively, trying to remind his muscles to relax even though every fibre of his body was telling him to stop talking. “We didn’t see him very often but, whenever he did come to visit, he always kept at me about how I had to be a role model for the others and that they’d never learn if I kept being, well… me.”

Scott paused, waiting as Cat scooted herself closer to him on the sofa, leaning her head on his shoulder as she wrapped her arms around him, giving him a squeeze of support that meant more to him than any words ever could.

“He thought that real men shouldn't show emotions, definitely not cry, and that if I wasn’t strong all the time then people would think less of me,” he continued quietly. “Mom always said after they'd left that it was nonsense but then she was gone and when they came to stay for a few weeks for the funeral, it was just constant. No matter where I hid, he always seemed to know. He found me every time and kept telling me that crying was wrong and that it was up to me to lead by example.”

“Well that’s utter bullshit,” Cat hissed, looking up at him in horror, unable to hold her tongue any longer.

“I know,” Scott soothed, scooping her up in his arms and kissing on the forehead as relief surged through him that she had felt the same as he did about his grandfather's beliefs, her unquestioning support meaning more to him that he could ever put into words. Just by unburdening himself and having his feelings validated he somehow felt lighter, like a dark part of his past had been scrubbed clean. “But I was young and I’d just lost my mom so I wasn’t in a position to challenge it and after a while it sort of stuck.”

“And I’m guessing spending the rest of your life being told you’re just like your dad probably hasn’t helped matters either?” Cat ventured, struggling to keep her emotions under control, sensing that the last thing he needed was to have to deal with her anger too.

“You guess correctly,” Scott smiled, beyond grateful to her for picking up the thread of what he was telling her so quickly and sparing him the ordeal of having to explain it to her. “But it means that any time I want to do something for myself, I’ve got these voices in my head taunting me, asking if it’s what Dad would do and whether it’s good enough. It wasn’t too bad before he went missing because he always led by example, but after he did and I had to step into his role, it was awful. I didn’t really have anyone I felt able to talk to about it and I pretty much lost myself completely for a while.”

“Oh, Scott,” Cat breathed, pressing a kiss on his shoulder and giving him another squeeze for support. “That’s absolutely awful.”

“In the end, it was Virgil who pulled me out of the worst of it, although I’m not sure if he even knew what he was actually pulling me out of in the first place.” Scott smiled to himself, remembering the talking to his brother had given him as they sat in a wind battered tent in the Arctic, waiting out a storm on their way to the Aurora generator. “I think all he wanted was for me to stop taking stupid risks before I got myself killed, but he said enough to make me realise that I needed to try to be truer to myself after that too.”

“Good for you,” Cat smiled as she unwound herself from him to take a sip of her drink, pride flooding through her at how he was coping with a situation that sounded unimaginably difficult to her. “How’ve you been finding it?

“It’s mostly been fine but there was one ex...” Scott paused and closed his eyes, steeling himself to relive something he’d done his best to forget. “Well the less said about her the better really.”

Cat’s heart skipped a beat as her eyes snapped to him, taking in the sudden stiffness in his demeanour as he took a deep breath as if to calm himself. It wasn’t like him to not tell her something without a good reason and she was on her guard as the silence stretched between them.

“You OK?” she asked tentatively, reaching out and gently taking his hand in hers, interlacing their fingers and squeezing it tightly.

“Yeah,” he breathed, meeting her eyes and giving her a small apologetic smile as he gave her hand a squeeze in return. “I’m OK. When I said I hadn’t really had any relationships since we were last together it wasn’t strictly true. After I spoke to Virgil, I decided I was going to be more open and try to be more myself with people and I did actually meet someone and started dating them. We were together for about six months and I thought things were going pretty well but then she saw pictures of me joking with Rebecca, my PA at the time, and decided that I was sleeping with her.”

“Obviously,” Cat agreed in a bid to keep the mood light, well aware that this must be a wound reopened by the false claims about his relationship with Selene that had been made only a few weeks before.

“Yep. Because there’s clearly no other explanation.” Scott shot her a small smile, surprised at how easy he was finding it to open up about something that had been so painful. “Anyway, she decided that I needed to be taught a lesson so she engineered it so that the next time we met up, I walked in on her having sex with someone else.”

“What a bitch,” Cat fumed, unable to stay silent any longer for the second time that night.

“Oh, it gets better,” Scott continued, his face grim. “Before she left, she informed me that she was only with me for the money, as well as filling me in on exactly what she thought of me, including that I was worthless and pathetic, my parents would be disappointed in me and that I deserved to die alone.”

“What the actual fuck was wrong with her?” Cat spat, fury bubbling through her veins, ready to jump up and track down the person who had said such horrible things to him and give them a piece of her mind. Nobody deserved to have their deepest fears reflected back onto them like that, especially not someone who put his life on the line every day for others.

“Trust me, I’ve asked myself that on many occasions,” Scott shrugged with a bitter smile. “After that I just shut down and decided that it wasn’t worth it because my grandfather was obviously right. People didn’t like me if I behaved like myself. They were only interested if I was like my dad, or they wanted to use me for what I have.”

Watching the way that he talked with such calm resignation, Cat’s heart broke for him, all anger being chased away by sympathy for the heartbreak that he had endured in his life. Pulling him into her, she wrapped her arms around him, peppering his face with kisses in a bid to show him that he was absolutely loved, exactly as he was.

“Hey, it’s OK,” Scott laughed, his heart feeling lighter than it had in years as he struggled to sit back up, fearful of squashing her. “I don’t feel like that any more, and I know you love me.”

“OK, but just promise me you won't forget that?” Cat asked earnestly, holding his gaze for a moment before snuggling into his open arms.

“Somehow, I don’t think I’ll be allowed to,” he chuckled, wrapping his arms tightly around her and kissing the top of her head, enjoying the way her hair tickled his nose. “This is the first time since then that I’ve been invested in a relationship to the extent that it could hurt me. Tonight was the first time that I heard those voices in my head again, telling me that I wasn’t enough, so I’m sorry I freaked out, but I hope you understand now where it came from?”

“Of course I do,” Cat soothed, cuddling further into his embrace. “And thank you for trusting me enough to share that with me. It means a lot.”

“You’re welcome. I thought I’d gotten over it but I guess it’s sort of still in there,” he smiled ruefully.

“I don’t think those sorts of things ever really leave you, to be honest,” she told him, sitting up and watching him closely as she spoke. “I’ve definitely got things that I was told when I was a kid that I still struggle with but I’ve got better at blocking them out and dealing with them as time has gone on and I’m sure you will too.”

“You might be right there,” Scott mused. “I would have been happier if you hadn’t had to go through anything similar but I guess at least I’ve got someone who understands now.”

“Yay,” Cat laughed, “matching trauma.”

“You’re absolutely nuts,” Scott grinned, capturing her lips with his own, enjoying her surprised squeak as he did so. “Anyway, now I’ve poured my heart out to you, it’s time for you to tell me what Penny did to piss you off so much, since it was her that started all this. I thought she was with Gordon this weekend?”

“Yeah, she was,” Cat huffed, sitting herself up and reaching for her wine, taking a fortifying sip as she tried to work out how best to explain their argument to Scott.

“Uh oh,” Scott remarked, his big brother senses on high alert at the implication that something may have gone awry. “That doesn’t sound good.”

“To be honest, it wasn't so much what happened that pissed me off, it was the fact that she decided to dump it on me when she knew we were away this weekend,” she replied, placing her glass back on the table and flopping back into the cushions behind her. “Basically, she’d planned on doing one thing, but Gordon decided to surprise her with something else and she wasn’t very happy about it. It caused a bit of a fight from the sounds of things and they ended up deciding to cut their weekend short.”

“Yeah, that doesn’t sound good,” Scott agreed, already rummaging in his pocket for his phone. “I should just quickly check on Gordon and make sure he’s alright.”

“I’m one step ahead of you,” she informed him, placing a hand on his to get his attention and feeling rather smug about her earlier decisions. “I let Selene know what happened and she’s taking care of it. Apparently he’s a bit pissed off but otherwise fine.”

“Aww thank you,” he smiled, pulling her into a hug and pressing a fierce kiss onto the top of her head as his heart swelled with love for the woman who was already looking out for his family. “That’s so sweet of you, looking out for him.”

“You’re very welcome,” Cat grinned, snuggling into his embrace and curling her feet up under her, getting comfy. “Fights with your partner can be horrible and I just wanted to make sure he was OK.”

“Well, I really appreciate it, and at least it sounds like something that can be easily resolved,” Scott mused, stroking her arm absentmindedly as he talked. “Are you sure it’s just the timing that made you angry though? I get that it’s not ideal, but Penny’s your best friend. Was she not just wanting a little bit of support?”

“I think she was, but let’s just say this isn’t the first time Penny and I have had words about this sort of thing,” Cat said grimly, wondering how Scott always managed to see when there was more going on than met the eye.

“Really? I didn’t think it was possible for Penny to ever do anything wrong,” Scott teased.

“Oh, she has her faults alright. Don’t let the upper-class respectability fool you,” she laughed, unable to contain herself. “I don’t really want to get into it tonight, but there’s a lot of history that I promise I’ll tell you about another time if that’s OK?”

“Absolutely,” Scott agreed, giving Cat a squeeze of reassurance. “Whenever you want to tell me about it, I’ll be here. Besides, I can think of better things to be doing tonight than talking about my brother’s love life.”

“Well, I can definitely think of a few other things we could talk about instead,” Cat murmured, shifting in his arms and starting to trail kisses up his jaw.

Tangling his fingers in the long strands of her hair and pulling her into him, Scott’s lips met hers, feeling the stresses of the night melting away as he lost himself in her embrace.

#Scott Tracy #Catriona George #thunderbirds are go #thunderbirds fanfiction #thunderbirds 2015

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ktheist · 5 years ago

Text

maybe, maybe

a series of coincidental meet-ups lead to an unlikely relationship between two people.

characters: smiley jeon jungkook word count. 4.8k genre: college au / slice of life au

It couldn’t have gotten any cornier than this.

A girl bawling her eyes out on the bench in the dark, letting out sobs that may or may not be the cause of the park being named ‘weeping willow’. There isn’t a willow tree and though Harry Potter is an evergreen series that lives on in every millennial, that is not the reason for the park to be named that. It’s a place where people - girls, boys and non-binaries alike - go to bawl their eyes out because assignments and exams are taking up college students’ time so much so most, if not all, doesn’t have the time to socialize.

Tonight, you are one of those weeping college students.

You don’t need to worry about it being weird. It’s an established fact that if anyone heard someone crying while passing the park, they would go on with their life. Not everyone likes to be comforted, especially not by a stranger and though yes it’s a good gesture but it really is unnecessary. Most people who came here just want to bawl their eyes out and trudge back to the library and continue their work.

So yes, you’re 99% sure no one was going to look at you as though you’re insane even though the bench you’re sitting on is right by the walkway. Nobody’s passed here for the last five minutes, you think you might be able to get another five in and be done with it.

But as it turns out, for a reason only known to the cosmos, someone asked, “Um, excuse me?”

At first, you think you’re imagining it but after thirty-seconds, you look up with puffy red eyes and possibly some snot running down your nose. You suck it back in.

“Y-yes?”

He’s quite good-looking but that may be because the closest lamp post is three feet away and it’s situated right behind him, hence the rather attractive shadow cast over his face. At the present though, you’re fuddled by him smiling at getting your attention as though help has come.

“Hi, I’m here to send some stuff to my sister but I’m a little lost, could you maybe point me in the right direction to Alpha Pie?”

“Phi. Alpha Phi.” You stare him dead in the eye, uninterested, as though you’ve been cut off just before a good orgasm because the guy didn’t know a girl’s anatomy.

He echoes the words correctly this time with a smile you didn’t think could get brighter but it did. Standing up and wiping the tears (and ugh, you really did have snot on your face) off, you gesture for him to follow you.

The campus is lit by the same kind of dim lamp post that accompanied you awhile back while you bawled away. Some students passed you by and you can somewhat understand the hollow look in their eyes and silently acknowledge the mutual feeling of being tired and wanting to go back and lay on your comfortable bed.

“So, you live on campus?” He breaks the silence with - now that you’re actually looking at him - a dimpled smile.

“Sometimes,” you answer shortly, not giving any indication to elaborate further - whoever his sister is, you can only hope she’s not crying her eyes out in her room because of assignment season.

Other times you spend your nights at McDonald's or some bar that opens till 6.

Silence sets in again and though it may not be wholly comfortable but it’s preferred - by you at least. But it’s short lived, it seems as you hear another question come from him.

“Any reason why you were crying just now?” The corners of his lips are curled cutely and he’s looking at you as though he’s asking to make small talk which he possibly is and don’t really care about the reason.

You don’t really mind either as you shrug, eyes still puffy but you’re halfway to looking like you didn’t just cry at the Weeping Willow.

“The usual. Assignments, datelines. We’re here.”

He seems to be satisfied with the answer and the both of you seem to have arrived in front of the sorority-looking building with the alphabets ‘Alpha Phi’ written proudly on top of the entrance.

“Thanks, I couldn’t have found it myself now I’m five minutes early from the time we bet I would show up.”

You don’t particularly care.

“No problem.”

And with that, you wave a hand as in to dismiss the fact that he’d taken up the 5 minutes you could have gotten to continue crying.

You almost forgot you helped a stranger find his way when you met the aforementioned stranger again as you walk out of the wooden doors of Alpha Phi. He’s donned in a crisp white button down with the cuffs of the sleeves rolled up to just below his elbow and his hands in his pockets.

“Hi, we meet again.”

It takes you half a minute to register who he is and you’re surprised he remembers your face what with the baggy clothes and unkempt hair the other day. Not to say that you’re looking any better today but your eyes are lined and winged and your lips are glossed - that’s as far as you’re willing to go to look presentable during the daylight.

“Yeah and I’m assuming you manage to find your way without bothering a crying soul this time - I hope.”

He laughs, the dimples more prominent in the light and you confirm your suspicions that he wasn’t good-looking because there was not much lighting that night - he really is, simply, good-looking.

“You live here.” It’s not a question, it’s a statement - an affirmation to his question from last time.

“Sometimes.” The corners of your own lips upturn as you repeat your previous answer.

“About the other day -”

You wave a dismissive hand, this time really meaning it when you say, “Don’t mention it.”

“No, I was about to ask you to coffee but you left so fast and I was worried I’d get lost again if I went after you and you happen to turn my advances down. Where else would I get a guide?”

That manages to make you smile wider. Alright so he’s chill.

“What makes you think I won’t turn you down right now?”

He shrugs and only then do you realize how his sleeves wrap around his arms nicely.

“Maybe in the light I look less like a creep?”

“Maybe.” You echo though he looked nothing like a creep then and he looks less than a creep now, “but I’m good.”

The tiniest stretch of his smile tells you he’s surprised but he keeps it on and nods.

“I understand. Have a good day.”

“You too.”

That day, you go to class with the same amount of concentration and determination to pass and graduate. You’re in your third year and third years either make you or break you - as what the people a year above you have said.

“I hardly think this is a coincidence anymore.” At this point you can recognize the playfulness in the tone and you whirl around to see the same man whose offer for coffee you turned down.

“I’m meeting a friend,” it all comes together quite easily and you wiggle your hand in front of him with the same level of playfulness in his tone, “Sooyoung is your sister.”

The second year isn’t as close to you as she is to your roommate, Seulgi, but on one fine night when you just got back and she was hanging around in your room, she had implored you to go to this coffee shop which chocolate chip cookies - as she claims - are to-die-for. It’s not as odd anymore why Seulgi had plans and couldn’t accompany her and she sent you the address instead of going with you since you’re both going the same direction from the same sorority.

He whisks past you and places an order before turning to you, inclining for you to place your own order. You do and it turns out the place doesn’t sell cookies and it’s actually famous for its muffins.

“I hope everything’s well.” Though his tone is light as the night you thought he was making small talks when he asked why you were crying alone, you realize now that it’s genuine concern.

He’s just that type of nice guy that gets his sister into getting her best friend’s roommate into go to a coffee shop just because he wants to make sure you’re okay.

“Really, when you saw me, I just had a lot and needed to let it out. It’s not that deep but I appreciate you checking up on me.”

His eyes twinkle a bit as he takes his first sip of Americano, “it’s not easy - it’s gonna take a lot of tears but you’ll get through it someday.”

Raising an eyebrow, you scrutinize him through your lashes with a twitch of your own, “I might be wrong but did you really not know your way or did you just not want me to be crying alone but also didn’t want to look sympathetic so you asked for directions.”

“I really was loss.”

Not that you care so much so you lean back against the chair and take your first bite out of chocolate chip muffin.

Jeon Jungkook. He told you his name and you subtly noted that Sooyoung’s family name rhymes with mark but they could be half-siblings or step-siblings. If the two occasions (including this one) of meeting him in button downs and black or navy blue pants didn’t tell you, then he’s telling you now that he’s working for a company. From the looks of it, he seems like he’s able to come and leave anytime he wants but you can’t.

It’s not disappointment that crosses his face but it’s the kind of smile that looks like he knows you’re going to up and leave, if not the moment you see him, then half an hour into enjoying your coffees.

“Student council, director of the magazine club. I understand.”

“What else did Sooyoung tell you about me?” You raise an eyebrow, this time genuinely curious about what a stranger - maybe he qualifies as an acquaintance now - knows about you that you haven’t told him.

“She didn’t tell me, I saw your picture on the board when I was heading to Prof. Kim’s office.”

Judging from where Prof. Kim’s office is and his possible connection to the aforementioned professor, you squint your eyes, curiosity piquing by the second.

“You went to Yonsei?”

The wink he gives is uncalled for and paired with that cute smile, is a deadly combination. You almost want to sit in this coffee shop longer with him just to know more - enough to satisfy the curious cat within you before you erase him from your memories because you really can’t afford to get distracted right now.

“I’ll tell you if you agree to go to dinner with me.”

Though he’s a tad more cute and a little bit interesting than the men you’ve been on coffee dates with - back in your freshman days, now you barely have time to sleep - the fascination ends here. If you were going to fall for dimples and smiles, you would have been with Professor Kim’s son, Namjoon by now.

“Some other time then.”

“Meaning never.”

You almost look like you’re caught off guard but you mimic his curled lips and wonder if all the smiles that got your heart melting each time was a facade but coming from a man who looked at you like you were a person instead of a wreck back at the park, you somehow believe that his smiles are sincere, though sometimes they look sad.

“Here’s my number.” You hand over the poorly scribbled handwriting of a napkin to him and for once, wrote the digits correctly without intentional amendments.

He takes it between his index and middle fingers, waving it in the air as though he’s saying he accepts the treaty.

On the way to the group meeting - the essential reason you couldn’t stay long - you curse yourself out for leaving with a ‘see you later’ instead of a - as he mentioned - ‘maybe never.’

“Someone’s calling.” Namjoon nudges your elbow and true enough, the screen lights up and vibrates with a sequence of unfamiliar numbers which may not be of grave importance at the moment unless if Namjoon brought it to your attention because it’s distracting him from studying.

You have a tendency to not pick up unknown calls which to this day have proven to be equally advantageous and disadvantageous but you never learn.

“I almost thought you gave me the wrong number.”

There’s this urge to smile at the playfulness of the voice.

“Why would I?”

He lets out a short laugh as though not believing it completely but whether he places his trust on you or not is not particularly your concern. His omission to answer clearly says he and you share the same understanding of why people give fake numbers but it’s pointless to talk about that.

“Where are you now?”

“Studying.”

As though he expected the generic answer or perhaps maybe it’s just a conversation starter to get to his next point, you will never know.

“Come out. I’m at the bench from that night.”

Though odd and rather unlikely for him to be there right at this moment, you tread down the walkway, more curious than excited if he’s telling the truth of his whereabouts.

You don’t know why you thought he was lying at the first place but it would be a lie if you say you’re not surprised to see that familiar flock of dark brown hair on the same bench you spent bawling your eyes out two weeks ago. He waves at you when he sees you and pulls out a paper bag that’s been on his side to sit between the two of you.

“What is this?” You ask even though you have a sneaky suspicion already.

“Stusket. Study basket. Except it’s in a bag.”

The pride in his eyes when he mentions the first word is overly adorable so you opt to pay more attention to the items inside the bag instead of that smile. The bag comes in two hot Americano, a muffin, a bundle of colored pens, energy bars and a neck pillow which surprisingly fits all that.

“I was buying one for Sooyoung but I figured I should get two. Another one for you.”

You’re a little disappointed that you’re just an add on but it’s only a given that his someone as familiar as family comes first. You don’t know when you even started caring.

“I appreciate this but are you setting me up to fail because there’s no way I can stay awake with this.” You laugh as you put on the neck pillow and note how it’s the softest suede you’ve ever touched and also the fluffiest.

He shrugs, the sleeves fitting as nicely as usual around his arms and you realize his pink lips turn into a skin-colored hue under the lamp post.

“But really, thank you.” You say and you really mean it.

He waves a hand in the air in a familiar fashion which is confirmed to be yours as he echoes the words you once said to him, “don’t mention it.”

“What’s that?” Namjoon eyes the bag with an arched brow, wondering how you went out with only a ringing phone in your hand and came back with a bag.

It doesn’t take much for him to know what’s in the bag and who it’s for.

“Someone gave me a stusket. Study basket. Except it’s in a bag.” You echo Jungkook’s exact words and recall the twinkle in his eyes.

“I never knew you got a boyfriend.” Namjoon emphasizes on the last word but there’s something in his tone that sounds like an insult - just because you were busy doesn’t mean you couldn’t find a potential love interest even though that is completely and 100% true. And Jungkook isn’t a boyfriend -

“He’s Sooyoung’s brother.” That somehow doesn’t sit right, “A friend.”

Now, that doesn’t help at all and if there’s anything Kim Namjoon is good at, it’s reaffirming your words which more often than not manage to make it sound more ridiculous as you try to elaborate.

“You’re friends with your roommate’s best friend’s brother?”

This time, you really can’t say anything else because you are nowhere close to your roommate’s best friend let alone join any functions with her that would require for her brother to be there with her. But the facts are there and what are you if not friends?

“Yes.”

“____, my brother texted me to tell you he wants to see you.” Sooyoung bursts into your room at midnight in her yellow duckling pajamas and a sheet mask, you almost didn’t recognize her from the frequency of people walking around in sheet masks and printed pajamas if not for the mention of a certain brother.

“Why doesn’t he text me?” You check your phone, eyebrows almost knitted together at the absence of any text from him.

“There’s this thing called knocking.” Seulgi throws her alpaca plushie and Sooyoung surprisingly manages to catch it.

“I don’t know girl, but get your ass down there before one of the sis notices I’m up here in your room and not talking to my brother!” Are Sooyoung’s last words before she throws herself at Seulgi despite the latter’s desperate protest.

You slip a cardigan on before closing the door on the two girls who are starting a pillow fight on Seulgi’s bed with your pillow as Sooyoung’s weapon.

That dimpled almost has you skipping like a little girl.

You shoot him the same question you did with his sister as you gesture for him to follow you and away from the sorority. Before you get far, the hood covering part of your head pools at the back of your neck and a grinning Jungkook is standing just a few inches behind you, no doubt the culprit.

“Are you ashamed to be seen with me?”

“I just prefer to have my hood on.”

He sees through your lies and chuckles - whether he knows the exact reason for you reluctance to be seen with the same man more than once on campus besides your usual set of friends, you’re not sure.

Though you love the sisterhood you share between the girls of the sorority, you can’t deny that there are ears ready to eavesdrop and it’s never good when someone outside of your circle knows about anything especially if it concerns you and a boy. All this time, it’s established that you feel absolutely nothing for the male specimens that often become the talk of the house. If they knew - God help the overboard ‘support’ your sisters are more than willing to give you.

“How was your day?”

“Good.”

There’s a familiar silence that’s more comfortable than whatever it was the first time you walked him to the house.

“I was scared to text you. You might not come.”

He says out of the blue and so out of character, you have to pause and look at him to make sure he even said anything in the first place. His gaze is already on you and you can’t help but take a moment to digest that someone as composed as Jungkook would have fears and because of you for that matter.

“Why wouldn’t I?”

This time, there’s no tricks or games. The answer might have been obvious but it isn’t for you and the corners of Jungkook’s lips curls as he nods to himself as though he’s coming to terms with himself and realizing there was nothing to be afraid of.

“I get nervous texting the girl I like.”

Jungkook has texted you three days later and asked you if you were free Thursday night and you have no choice but to turn him down. Not that you want to but most of your days are planned out and are subject to your timetable. Though, this type of ‘no’ hasn’t let you sit well through out the day.

If you would be a little be more honest, you daresay you want to see him.

“Why didn’t you say yes?!” Seulgi cries and you have to toss a pillow on her face to remind her to lower her voice in case anyone hears.

You thank the universe that Sooyoung likes to keep to herself which is why you get along with her even though you don’t share her passion for cute bras, cats and male phallus - a quirky combination but you’re not about to kink shame. Seulgi on the other hand knows what to say and what to keep from people’s business - the two of them together makes an unlikely friendship which if you look closer, seems just right.

“You know I’m too busy for boys.”

Seulgi throws you a look which warrants an eye roll. You already know what she’s about to say.

“He’s not a boy, he’s a man.”

You’re not going to admit the significant difference between the two categories because 1) you’re not going to give her any room for more innuendos and 2) you’re not ready to face Jungkook after nodding and responding ‘cool’ to his confession.

Then your phone vibrates.

For a solid 5 second, you and Seulgi are at a stare off before she leaps across the five feet gap between your bed and hers - and in an attempt to shield yourself from a human cannon ball, you try to roll off the bed but alas, the human crashes right into you.

You take a moment to register whether any bones have been dislocated before reaching for your phone which is too late by the way. The damage has been done and as you know it, the blue text on your part has already agreed for another day which is Saturday.

For a moment, you debated correcting your statement by telling him the truth but when his smile flashes at the back of your head, and you decide against cancelling the plan.

“You’re choosing a guy over finishing up a paper you need to submit two days from now.” Namjoon states in-a-matter-of-factly.

“Chill, I got like two days more.”

You almost squirm under his scrutiny because he’s the one person who’s been with you through your lowest, been your pillar of strength and sanity when you need a word of advice. The one week he wasn’t here, you almost lost your mind which was the reason you ended up breaking down at the park.

So if there’s anyone who knows you would be freaking out because the date line is nearing, it’s Kim Namjoon, your childhood friend slash study buddy who doesn’t even need to study but waved a dismissive hand at you when you told him he didn’t need to accompany you at the library till it closes almost every night.

“5 years from now, are you going to regret not going on a dinner with some guy or handing in a possibly imperfect paper which you could have perfected and bump your A to an A+ if you didn’t go to the dinner with the guy?”

The paper isn’t written yet but you’re halfway into your research and you can finish up with the important points later after dinner assuming it ends before 10 and your journey would only take about an hour or so to get back. Apparently, it’s transparent that you don’t want the dinner to end early which before you know it, you’ve already gotten the answer to Namjoon’s question.

He shakes his head and packs up his things. You thought he was disappointed at you enough to ignore your presence altogether but he looks at you again and you find yourself holding your breath.

But he doesn’t say anything and you watch as he leaves the library. In that moment, everything comes crashing in - your life plans, your college goals. None of them includes Jungkook but if his inclusion means the distraction of your goals, then, Jeon Jungkook is just an insignificant part of your life.

You stop in front of the diner so sure that you value your friendship with Namjoon more than a man you known within just two months. With that, you send Jungkook a text that you’re outside. He struts out in a matching navy blue tuxedo with a black button down underneath, that cute smile on full display. His eyebrows arch when he sees you in an over-sized sweater, shorts and this time, kept hair. You pride would be scarred if you showed up any less presentable than this but you’re here for one reason and that’s to properly tell him you’re not going to entertain him anymore.

“You’re here.” He comes to a stop in front of you but just when he was about to gesture for you to go inside, you speak first.

“Here is fine.”

He accepts your decision with a nod, hands pocketed as though ready for what you’re about to say.

“Did something happen along the way?”

“No, nothing happened.”

The look of relief on his face makes it harder to stand your ground. Showing up severely under dressed to a five star restaurant is already disrespectful as it is but he’s more worried that something might have happened to you that warrants you unable to don a suitable dress for a dinner.

“You must be hungry, let’s sit and talk. At least have some water.” He adds when you’re about to protest.

With the last part, you relent and the dimple smile carves its way to his lips as though your compliance is enough for him.

He places two identical orders and dismisses the other as his extra plate but it would be embarrassing to have two sets of servings for himself. When the food does come, he doesn’t even touch it. In fact, his eyes never left you as though your presence is more appealing than a medium rare steak prepared by a Michelin chef.

“How was your day?”

“Good.” You shrug.

“I’m glad you’re here.”

If the dimple wasn’t enough, you start to wonder if his eyes have always crinkled when he smiles.

“I can’t stay.”

“You never seem to be able to.”

For a split second, his lips are set in a thin line but then he smiles but it’s not the same smile you’ve been receiving until now. It’s the kind of smile that makes you want to take back your hostility and swallow your pride but you wouldn’t be you if you did that so instead you swallowed the water the waiter set aside for you.

“I have assignments to finish and exams to prepare for. I have to go.”

He stands up a second later than you, wiping his mouth with a napkin.

“I’ll send you back, let me settle the bill first.”

The cosmos must have hated you from the moment since you were born and it’s all unraveling right now as you yearningly take a last look at the untouched steak and how much of a waste it was because the extra platter was just a facade because Jeon Jungkook was too nice to let you watch him eat or let you stand outside in the cold while you two talked.

“There’s really no need to send me back, I can walk. The campus is really close.”

He thwarts your last ditch attempt to leave with, “I have something to pass to Sooyoung too. My car’s in the workshop so I’ll walk with you.”

“You just said you were going to send me back which implies you have a car. So it just suddenly transferred itself to a workshop?” You eye him suspiciously and without any effort to hide it, he chuckles, head dropping.

“Yes, if you believe in magic.”

You don’t expect him to entertain questions to an obvious answer the way he always didn’t. It only adds to the feebleness of the whole situation. So you opt to walk in silence and struggle to either remain a step in front or behind from him. If he notices your diligence, he doesn’t mention it until you’re at the Weeping Willow and his fingers suddenly wrap around your wrist.

He takes a step closer and another until you’re only a hair’s breadth away. You’re staring at his eyes and he’s looking at your lips. Just before he kisses you, he pauses and meets your gaze but this time he catches your lingering stare on his lips.

“If you say no now, I’ll leave and I won’t ever show up in your life but if there’s a smidgen of chance that you’re acting like this because you’re not good with handling emotions -”

So you kiss him.

You kiss him with all and every emotion that you have, the butterflies, the zoo, the anxiety, the fear and the excitement.

note: woooo so first fic after years of not writing, i’m a little rusty and i just finished this in one sitting. i have the most fun writing this, but my apologies for the errors and typos - i shamefully admit to not rereading this because i just want to quickly finish this and get it out there hahahah

credit goes to: before we get married drama (go watch, it tests your principles, and the characters all have their shortcomings which balances out the story line - but please for those who have watch the whole series don’t give spoilers i’m only on my 5th ep!)

and blackpink reference yooo :D

#jeon jungkook #networkbangtan #jungkook x reader #jungkook scenarios #bts x reader #bts scenario #jungkook fanfic #bts fanfic #jungkook x you #bts x you #jungkook fluff #bts fluff #jungkook scenario #jungkook imagines #bts imagines

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miumiu-chan · 4 years ago

Text

Miyase Go STORY 1 Chapter 12-5

Subbed video: STORY-1 12-5

-Home / Entrance-

——4 o’clock in the afternoon.

I brought Miyase-san to my original home for the first time.

[MIYASE]: “Pardon my intrusion.”

[REI]: “Come on in. Ah, here are slippers, too.”

[MIYASE]: “Thank you.”

[MIYASE]: “......This address, I actually already knew it, but”

[MIYASE]: “It really is in the neighborhood to the Kujo House.”

[REI]: “Right.”

[REI]: “——Ah, the other day, when I crossed the intersection in front of the convenience store, I saw that white child-like cat.”

[REI]: “I’m sure it’s the cat’s turf.”

[MIYASE]: “The cat......that’s great. It’s doing fine.”

[MIYASE]: “I was worried because it didn't come to the garden at all recently.”

[REI]: “If I see it next time, I'll take a picture.”

[MIYASE]: “Mn, I want to see it. Next time.”

While exchanging silly conversations, we headed to the balcony.

Going out of the room during bright hours, wasn’t just to avoid the tension of being alone in a closed space.

-Home / Balcony-

[MIYASE]: “......Aa, it’s true. You really did do your best to repair it.”

[MIYASE]: “The flowers look happy.”

I was so relieved to hear Miyase-san’s words when he saw the group planting.

When Kagetsugumi broke into my investigation apartment.

The room was devastated, and even the group planting on the balcony was thoroughly messed up.

The flowers that Miyase-san bloomed in that one pot were destroyed.

[REI]: (The princess lilac and the sweet pea.)

[REI]: (The almeria, the loberia, the sweet alyssum. And also the ficus pumila.)

After the case was settled, I returned safely to the investigation apartment and immediately bought a new pot.

And then I did as much repair as I could.

But——...

[REI]: “The princess lilac was especially trampled, and the flowers had almost withered or were scattered.”

[MIYASE]: “It’s okay.”

Next to Miyase-san, who crouched down slowly before group planting, I also sat down.

[MIYASE]: “Look here. Some side buds are starting to appear.”

[REI]: “Side buds......Ah, you’re right.”

[MIYASE]: “The flowers that had bloomed so far have definitely withered, but”

[MIYASE]: “The stems and leaves are holding out.”

[MIYASE]: “That’s why I'm sure that the beautiful flowers will bloom in the next flowering season and make Rei-san smile.”

[REI]: (The flowers will bloom again. I see......thank goodness.)

[REI]: “Miyase-san, you said it before, right?”

[REI]: “Even if the flowers die, it's not over.”

[MIYASE]: “Yes, it’ll be okay.”

[MIYASE]: “......I can't lie to Rei-san anymore.”

The moment when those reliable words made my face smile broadly,

The last princess lilac flower, which was barely staying on the stem, fell off.

[MIYASE]: “——Or, is what I say, but it’s no good.”

[REI]: “Eh”

[MIYASE]: “I'm very dishonest towards Rei-san.”

[REI]: (Dishonest......?)

My heart began to be noisy.

I also felt it when we were riding the merry-go-round.

I felt like something was wrong. I felt like I was missing something.

Like the flowerless princess lilac? Like the moonless sky?

——At that warehouse, the moment Miyase-san said “I can't kill” Kujo-san,

The moment he declared, "All the friends here are my family,”

I thought I could believe in this person completely.

I felt that I could decipher Miyase-san’s lies and truths.

[REI]: (But......right now, Miyase-san)

He wasn’t lying but, it didn’t feel like he was telling the truth.

[REI]: “Dishonest, what do you mean?”

I unintentionally stared at him with a strong gaze.

[MIYASE]: “......It means just what it means.”

[REI]: “......H”

My hand was held.

With a weak force as if feeling for whether he could touch.

Miyase-san, who narrowed his eyes, eventually entwined his fingers deeply and quietly approached with his face.

[MIYASE]: “Rei-san.”

[REI]: (Ah, a kiss——...)

[BOY]: “Uoh! There’s an erotic couple over there~!”

[REI]: “E-Erotic......!?”

[MIYASE]: “Aahaha”

[GIRL]: “I'm sorry for bothering you!”

[GIRL]: “Jeez~ Stupid Takeshi-kun! Let’s hurry and go home!”

[BOY]: “Uwah-, don’t pull~!”

The smiling elementary school duo ran away while swinging their calligraphy bags.

[MIYASE]: “Those kids seemed like good friends last time, too.”

[REI]: “This is also close to the investigation apartment......haha.”

The wind that brought the spring evening blew, and the lingering of the attempted kiss was taken away.

[MIYASE]: “......The sun is about to set.”

[MIYASE]: “It won’t be good to get cold, so shall we head back inside?”

That was equal to Miyase-san already leaving this place.

He said from the beginning that he wouldn't stay long.

-Home / Entrance-

The end of the fun date was at the familiar front door of my home.

[MIYASE]: “Then......thank you for today.”

[MIYASE]: “It was really, truly fun.”

I didn’t want to part yet.

Was it because there were still traces of the discomfort I felt on the balcony earlier?

I felt like I shouldn’t send Miyase-san home as it is.

[REI]: “Um-“

[MIYASE]: “Yes?”

[REI]: “Ah-......Ah, please wait a minute!”

[MIYASE]: “......?”

I knew it was a waste of time, but I picked up that thing and went back to the front door.

[REI]: “This, I thought I wouldn’t be able to return it.”

[MIYASE]: “The apron......”

[REI]: “I properly took it out for cleaning, so”

[MIYASE]: “That apron is already Rei-san’s.”

[REI]: “Eh, but......is that okay?”

[MIYASE]: “Please, take good care of it.”

[MIYASE]: “——No, it’s okay if you throw it away.”

[REI]: “Throw it away......”

[MIYASE]: “Well then, Rei-san.”

[MIYASE]: “Goodbye.”

[REI]: “-......Please wait!”

I impulsively grabbed Miyase-san's hand, who had quickly turned his back.

——The next moment.

[MIYASE]: “Nh......”

[REI]: “!”

In contrast, my arm was grabbed and pulled strongly.

Staggering, I ended up deeply buried in Miyase-san’s chest.

[REI]: “U-Um......-“

[MIYASE]: “I’ve said a lot of terrible things to Rei-san.”

[MIYASE]: “I even forcibly kissed you.”

[MIYASE]: “I've also put your life at risk......”

[MIYASE]: “I’m so sorry.”

I couldn’t see his face.

But the voice I heard seemed to sound a little hoarse and very pained.

[MIYASE]: “Towards you......Towards Izumi Rei-san”

[MIYASE]: “-............I,”

[MIYASE]: “........................”

[REI]: “......Miyase-san?”

[MIYASE]: “......I hope Rei-san will always be happy.”

[MIYASE]: “And that you will always be smiling, I......”

[MIYASE]: “I think that, from the bottom of my heart.”

Immediately after I thought our bodies separated, I saw Miyase-san's back disappearing behind the door.

[REI]: “Ah......-“

When I tried to chase after, I noticed.

A necklace around my neck.

The white clover that Miyase-san bought at the spring festival.

Touching the cool resin, I hurriedly opened the door.

[REI]: (He’s already gone......)

-Home / Living-

When I returned to the room, I saw myself sighing in the mirror.

[REI]: “It’s a cute necklace......”

He bought another of the same one, but......it was a matching set, wasn’t it?

And the fact that he gave me this necklace——...

Was it okay to recognize that a new relationship between Miyase-san and I had begun?

[REI]: (......But, what were the words he stopped himself from saying earlier?)

[REI]: (What kind of face was Miyase-san making......?)

I couldn't see it.

The strength of his hug was strong, but I felt somehow that it was weak.

[REI]: (......For some reason, I feel restless.)

Not being able to sit still, I looked over at the balcony.

The group planting came into my sight.

Miyase-san made it, then it broke once, and I tried my best to repair it myself.

[REI]: “Ah, that’s right.”

What I took out of my work bag was the language of flowers pocket dictionary.

Right now, I was curious about the language of flowers for the group planting.

[REI]: (When we planted it, Miyase-san checked it......)

I might have wanted to trace those gentle memories to dispel this mysterious anxiety.

I flipped through the pages.

MIYASE]: “Lobelia is “Chastity and Humility”.”

[REI]: (Eh......”Malevolence” is also written.)

[MIYASE]: “......Almeria is “Compassion and Empathy”.”

[REI]: ““Sympathy”......”

[MIYASE]: “Sweet pea......seems to be “Departure”.”

[REI]: “............“Separation”.”

Thump, my heart began to rampage violently inside my chest.

No. There was no need to think in an unpleasant direction.

Miyase-san must have been trying to be careful and didn't say the meanings that had negative images.

————But.

[RULONG]: “Little Flower should have understood it from the Hanafuda game earlier.”

[RULONG]: “In Go-chan’s case, not just the cards in his hand, even the set couldn’t properly be seen.”

[RULONG]: “What do you think? I wonder if Little Flower can see through the meaning of the set that Go-chan made.”

[RULONG]: “Rather, Go-chan, you didn’t want to win, right?”

[MIYASE]: “For me, these cards I took are the completed sets.”

[REI]: (Miyase-san’s completed sets......)

He had all the irises of May and the willows of November.

I turned the pages of the language of flowers dictionary with a feeling that I felt like I was going to stop breathing.

[REI]: (If I remember correctly, Miyase-san said that the May cards were Japanese irises.)

[REI]: “Ja......Ja, here it is! The language of flowers is——“

[REI]: ““Happiness is yours”......?”

What was Miyase-san really thinking when he played that Koi-Koi game?

[REI]: “Willow is——...”

“Mourning” “Sorrow of Love”

And also......

[REI]: “———“Freedom”?”

I didn’t know. The meaning of this set.

Looking for hints, I recalled all the interactions, conversations, and facial expressions I had with Miyase-san.

I was impatient and my hand slipped, and the language of flowers dictionary fell.

When I picked it up in a hurry, I found a beautiful photo of a rose on the page that had opened by chance.

I saw the sentence “The feelings put into gifting rose flowers”, and there was a description of the meanings according to the amount.

[REI]: “Ah!”

[MIYASE]: “Recently, I......really liked the meaning of giving 999 roses.”

[REI]: “999 roses is......”

“I will fall in love with you no matter how many times I am reborn.”

[REI]: “............Even if you are reborn?”

[MIYASE]: “Even if a flower withers, it creates seeds, takes root in the ground, and blooms again.”

[MIYASE]: “......But if humans die without leaving anything, then it is all over.”

[MIYASE]: “I learned that my target of revenge was not the Kujo Family......not Soma-san, but only Kujo Soichiro.”

[MIYASE]: “That man’s ill will should be completely erased.”

[MIYASE]: “After everything was settled, I wanted you to forget about someone like me and be happy.”

[REI]: “Miyase-san————...?”

-Residential Area-

I ran out of the apartment feeling like I wasn’t alive.

Before I knew it, the sky covered with colored clouds spurred my turmoil.

[RULONG]: “Little Flower.”

[REI]: “Rulong-san!?”

[RULONG]: “That state means, you’ve come to realize the meaning of Go-chan’s set?”

[REI]: “Does Miyase-san......-, plan to die!”

It was too painful just to put it in words, and tears came up.

[RULONG]: “Why do you think Go-chan will die?”

[REI]: “He intends to give “freedom”! To Kujo-san!”

[REI]: “If he’s gone, everything left by Kujo Soichiro will disappear from this world......-“

He thinks happiness belongs to the people left behind.

[REI]: “That is the end of Miyase-san's revenge, isn’t it!?”

[RULONG]: “You’re more than I expected.”

[REI]: “Why didn’t you tell me sooner!”

[RULONG]: “Even if I told Little Flower and you tried to persuade Go-chan, Go-chan's will wouldn't change.”

[REI]: “——!”

[RULONG]: “Even if he obtained that true family with Kujo Soma.”

[RULONG]: “Even if Little Flower said “I’ll be together with you”.”

[RULONG]: “Go-chan didn't change his will to die.”

[REI]: “No way......-“

[RULONG]: “Where do you think Go-chan is about to die?”

[REI]: “——The secret room.”

Before I thought about it, a scene came to my mind and it came out of my mouth.

[RULONG]: “Bingo.”

[RULONG]: “If you really understand Go-chan, the Little Flower right now might be able to stop him.”

[RULONG]: “Because not just me, Go-chan also gave that hint only to Little Flower.”

[REI]: “Hint......”

[RULONG]: “Now that Licorice has marked Go-chan, they can forcibly stop his suicide.”

[RULONG]: “But, that would have no meaning.”

[RULONG]: “Go-chan would definitely try to die again.”

[RULONG]: “That's why, Little Flower, I’m asking you, please. Don't let Go-chan die.”

[KUJO]: “I also want to ask that of you.”

[REI]: “Kujo-san!?”

He who suddenly appeared, in his hand was——...A white clover necklace the same as mine.

[REI]: “That......!”

[KUJO]: “It was in a vase in my room.”

[KUJO]: “Kirishima accidentally knocked it down and noticed it.”

The four-leaf clover of happiness for the people you wanted to wear it.

[REI]: (The other one wasn’t for himself, he was going to give it to Kujo-san!)

[KUJO]: “I apologize for asking you to take on such a heavy role.”

[KUJO]: “——But, I want you to keep Go in this world.”

[REI]: “-......Such a, such a situation, why......-“

Finally, the tears overflowed.

[REI]: (I have to stop Miyase-san right now......!)

What if you can’t stop him?

[REI]: (I definitely don't want you to die......!)

Even though you don't know how to keep him from dying?

[REI]: (I don’t know, but———!)

It was all already messed up.

Like the trampled princess lilac.

[REI]: “Miyase-san's will couldn’t be changed even by his two family members.”

At the end of my turmoil, weak words spilled out.

[REI]: “So someone like me, an existence who just met Miyase-san by coincidence——“

[RULONG]: “It was fate.”

[REI]: “Eh......”

[RULONG]: “The encounter between Little Flower and Go-chan was fate.”

[REI]: “!”

[RULONG]: “To be honest, I hate the idea of “You can't resist fate”.”

[RULONG]: “But, Go-chan probably thinks that.”

[RULONG]: “That because the painful reality that has fallen upon him until now and to die was destined, so it can’t be helped.”

[MIYASE]: “It was as if “fate” was telling me that I should definitely complete my revenge.”

[KUJO]: “Go......”

[RULONG]: “If Go-chan wants to be a fate advocate”

[RULONG]: “Then I want to say that Go-chan fortunately meeting Little Flower and saving his life is fate.”

[RULONG]: “That it wasn’t anything like coincidence. It's just wordplay, though.”

[REI]: “Fate......”

[RULONG]: “And this, I’ll give it to Little Flower.”

Rulong-san presented a read paperback book.

[REI]: ““Kokin Wakashū”......?”

[KUJO]: “! That’s......”

[RULONG]: “The seeds in people’s hearts grow into the countless leaves of words——That was me and Go-chan’s secret phrase.”

[RULONG]: “Little Flower has seeds buried in your heart, don’t you?”

[REI]: “Seeds......”

[KUJO]: “......I see. You mean that you want her to convey to Go the feelings she has right now.”

[KUJO]: “I want him to think of living.”

[KUJO]: “Please......”

Kujo-san bowed deeply.

Rulong-san stared at me with strong eyes.

[REI]: (Miyase-san is............an idiot.)

There were so many people here who wished for Miyase-san's future.

Their feelings———...and my feelings.

I won’t let you die.

Definitely.

[REI]: “Either of you, please lend me a car!”

#stand my heroes #sutamai #miyase go #translations

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mar-bluu · 5 years ago

Note

How do you reckon Elmer and Buttons would react if Lucy got pregnant? Can just imagine how excited Elmer'd be, calling everyone like "im gonna be a grandad!"

Akdksoske ohmygosh okay!!! (This is gonna be my long, and incomprehensible ramblings, sorry!!)

So! One day Elmer's sitting in the kitchen eating his breakfast when Lucy walks in and just throws up right in front of him. Elmer's like "oh okay that's nice, you do that, yeah right in front of my toast, okay" and Lucy just walks out and leaves him to clean it up. So Elmer finishes up his toast and cleans up Lucy's mess when Buttons walks in. Elmer's like "Lucy threw up just before but i cleaned it up, so be careful, the floor might be wet." And Buttons goes "huh, she threw up yesterday as well." So they're a little concerned but chalk it up to her probably eating grass. The next day, however, when she throws up again, they're like "okay something might be wrong, let's take her to the vet" so they bundle her up in the car and drive down to the vets, Elmer's quietly freaking out because all he can think of is the absolute worst, and Buttons is trying to keep him calm, saying that its probably nothing as he tries to stay calm as well.

They pull up and head inside. As theyre sitting in the waiting room, Lucy throws up again, so the lady at the desk is like "okay, we should probably look at that like, now." So Lucy's brought into a side room and Buttons explains that she's been off her food and vomiting for the last few days. So the vet's like "is she spayed?" And Elmer and Buttons look at each other like "is she??" So they say that they're unsure and the vet's like "okay, well we're gonna do an ultrasound real quick" Lucy's whisked off to the back room for an ultrasound and now, Elmer's f r e a k i n g out. "Buttons, she could've eaten something really bad! What if she's been poisoned? Did we remember to give her her heartworm tablets? Did we check her for ticks!?" And Buttons is trying to stay calm and reassure Elmer, and theyre both too busy worrying about Lucy to notice the vet coming back. She opens the door to the two of them panicking, and just sets Lucy down on the examination table, waiting for Elmer and Buttons to notice. Lucy sits on the table with her tail wrapped around her paws and meows loudly. That gets their attention, and the turn to the table, holding each other's hands nervously. "Well," the vet starts "Lucy's gonna be just fine." Elmer and Buttons share a look of relief. "But," they begin to grow nervous again "you might wanna consider kiddie proofing the house, cause Lucy's gonna be a mama"

The two of them are completely silent, staring open mouthed between the vet and their cat, who stares proudly back. "What?" The vet just nods, giving Lucy a scratch behind her ears. "A mother of seven, actually. Or at least thats how many i can see." Buttons squeals excitedly as Elmer tackles him in a hug "we're gonna be grandparents!!" The vet laughs along before stepping them through the pregnancy process. She walks them to the counter and gives them a card to an all-hours house call vet who can help them if they're worried about or during birth. They thank the vet and bring Lucy home.

The second they got inside Elmer's on the phone to everyone telling them the good news as Buttons lectures Lucy about running off and getting pregnant. Everyone's so happy for them (especially Davey who's a big cat person, though he doesn't often show it and Mush who comes over as soon as possible with extra cat food and bedding) and Buttons and Elmer spend 110% of their attention on Lucy and making sure she's comfortable ("pregnant cats are called queens, Buttons, we should treat her like one!" "She has three beds stacked on top of each other and enough food to last her a life time, i dont think she needs another cat-box" "fine, but we need to get her a "world's best mum" cat bowl!")

Anyway! One morning at about 2:40 am Elmer wakes up to Buttons shaking his shoulder. "It's happening!" "What?" "It's happening!!" "Wha- oh, oh!" He springs out of bed as Buttons dials the emergency vet. Elmer sprints through the house, finding Lucy huddled in a corner, washing her fur. Elmer kept his distance, not wanting to annoy her, as he tried to keep his excitement quiet. Not too long after that the emergency vet arrived, following Buttons into the room. He said there wasnt a lot he can do, as Lucy seemed to be handling it very well, so they sat there and talked about Lucy, if this was her first litter, how well she'd been dealing with the pregnancy etc. They waited there for an hour and a bit, cooing over pictures of the vet's own kittens, before Lucy gave birth to the last of her kittens. The vet monitored Lucy for another half hour or so before heading off, ("make sure to take them to the vets within a week or two for a wellness check") and Elmer and Buttons move in closer for a look at the newest additions to their family. They count the kittens, finding another 2 the vet missed, and excitedly snap pictures and send them to their friends. As they continue to melt over the kittens, they notice that while a lot of them have the same black and white colourings of their mother, a few of them were a pretty orange, that looked suspiciously like the ginger cat who lived down the street. Buttons made a mental note to have a stern talking to with him the next time they saw him.

Already Elmer's thinking of names for the kitties, sending options to the groupchat (only Race is awake and his suggestions include Professor Cheeseball and Sir Meatball Daggertooth, which he reads out to Lucy who doesn't look too pleased with them) Buttons had already picked a name for one, Tigger, which they settled on giving to the biggest ginger fluffball. They settled on Gizmo for the kitty that looked like a little clone of his mum, then waited for the others to wake up and help (Race is officially banned from naming anything after suggesting Moldy Stink Rat) Elmer and Buttons sat on the couch and watched Lucy with her new babies, wrapped in each others arms, as they fall asleep listening to Lucy meow softly to her kittens.

After about three months, the kittens were all named (Tigger, Gizmo, Oreo, Luna, Willow, Sunny, Marmalade, Cedar, and after lots and lots and lots of pestering from his human counterpart, the last one was named Jack) and had their appropriate vet work done. Davey appointed himself as godfather and was over any time he could ("where are my babies? I want to see my babies!" *scoops up Gizmo* "And how's mama Lucy going?") Mush and Blink would come and visit them frequently too, always bringing little toys and things for the kittens to play with. Cedar had taken a real shine to Mush and Blink, and would always go running towards them whenever he heard their voices. (Elmer and Buttons had a feeling of who they wanted to give Cedar to when the time came) Jack couldn't come over as frequently as the others but would constantly text Elmer and Buttons for updates on Cat-Jack, and had a picture of his kitty twin in his wallet and would show it off proudly to anyone who asked.

Unfortunately come month 4, Buttons and Elmer had to make the tough decision of giving away their precious babies. Lucy was just as upset as the two of them, but they couldn't keep looking after all of them, they'd already lost a pair of shoes, two pillows and several cups and glasses. So they needed to make sure the kitties went to the best of homes. Naturally Davey offered to take two (Oreo and Marmalade), Katherine took Willow, Barney adopted Luna, and Albert got Sunny. Elmer and Buttons asked Blink and Mush if they wanted to take Cedar, but they were slightly hesitant as they didnt want him to be overwhelmed by all the other animals (though they seriously had to restrain themselves from accepting right away) So Elmer and Buttons held onto him (tho they had a feeling that in a month or so he'd be living on the farm) Jack obviously adopted mini him, and Gizmo and Tigger stayed with Buttons and Elmer

Every month or so, they would all organize a meet up together, usually at Buttons' and Elmer's house so Lucy could see her babies again, and have kitty hangouts. Lucy, Elmer and Buttons miss the other kittens a lot, but they're happy knowing that they're with good families and good homes :)

Also Lucy definitely got spayed after bc they couldn't deal w the heartbreak of giving away kittens again, and also to help keep kitties off the streets, and the cat from down the road got a very stern talking to

#asks!#AHHHHH #IM SO SORRY THIS IS SO LONG WINDED AND PROBABLY DOESNT MAKE SENSE #if ive said a sentence that doesnt english well please ask for clarification not even i know what i say sometimes #anyway!! I HECCIN LOVE CATS SO SO SO MUCH #highkey helped me w shit today #so thanks so much for that :))#belmerttons #buttons davenport #elmer kasprzak #newsies #kitty!!#jae writes kinda #hc fuel #cutesiewoojin #:)))#also for some reason it doesnt show up w the keep reading cut on mobile so im so so so sorry if you have to scroll past this long ass post

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rahirah · 5 years ago

Note

Okay, I KNOW you've reblogged that "DVD commentary" meme at some point in your life, so: would you like to do DVD commentary on the opening scene of "My Baby Is A Centerfold"? (Or less detailed commentary on the whole "My Baby Is A Centerfold"?)

My Baby Is A Centerfold DVD Commentary

I wrote this story in 2004, fifteen years ago, so fair warning, I don't recall a lot of the minutiae that went through my head when I was writing it. However, I will do my best!

This was one of the first short stories I wrote set in the same universe as my novel series. I wrote it for the Summer of Spike community over on Livejournal – Summer of Spike was, I believe, the first of the "seasonal" fic communities, and inspired a lot of imitators (including Seasonal Spuffy and Summer of Giles, which are still going to this day) but it only lasted for a couple of rounds. Anyway, someone had recently asked me what happened to the Trio in my 'verse. I already knew that the Trio had started their careers as criminal masterminds while the events of Necessary Evils were going on, and that after NE ends, Warren would try enslaving Katrina in pretty much the same way, Katrina would end up dead, and Warren would try to frame Buffy. Buffy being in a very different frame of mind by this point in my 'verse, while she initially panics at the thought that she accidentally killed someone, Spike and Dawn are able to convince her to investigate first. And of course they discover that Katrina's been dead for several hours, so they call the police and that's when Terminal Line takes place, and Buffy makes first contact with Detective Nguyen, who becomes a recurring NPC and eventually the captain of the Sunnydale PD and is instrumental in Buffy's plan to bring the supernatural out in the open and ANYWAY.

For this story I wanted to do a lighthearted buddy cop sort of thing with Spike and Dawn, and it occurred to me that the Trio would have had to have set up their spy camera system, but since they all got arrested after the Katrina incident, they never had the chance to do anything with the footage. And in my 'verse, some of that footage would have been pretty racy. So what would happen if Buffy and Spike found out about it? The story pretty much wrote itself from there.

I could tell something was wrong the minute I walked in the door. The house had that too-quiet thundercloud feeling about it, and it wasn't just because of the blackout curtains. Buffy was still at the rink, Tara was at her summer job, and Willow was probably asleep (she's not as much of an early riser as Spike is). Normally this means an afternoon of bad TV and junk food with Spike, but the TV wasn't on. Spike always has the TV on.

So this story takes place between Necessary Evils and A Parliament of Monsters, when Spike has moved in with Buffy and Dawn, and Willow and Tara are renting the Summers's basement. It always bugged me that the characters on the show only had to worry about work when the plot required it. When the writers get bored, Buffy can suddenly support a dozen people on a starting school counselor's salary. So while I try not to make a huge deal of it in my 'verse, I do a lot of thinking about how everyone supports themselves. Especially people like Tara, who's sure as hell not getting any money from her family. And with Buffy I wanted to give her a day job that A) she would enjoy, and B) would be flexible with regard to slaying. Which is how she became a skating instructor.

When Spike moved in there was a whole big reshuffling thing, like musical chairs with bedrooms, and Spike ended up getting my old room as an office for Bloody Vengeance Inc., the demon-hunting business he and Anya started. I figured he was probably holed up in there downloading porn or something. Never overlook an opportunity to collect blackmail material is my motto. I dumped my library books on the couch and snuck upstairs with super-Slayer's-sister stealth, which wouldn't do me any good at all if Spike was actually, like, paying attention to his super-keen vampire hearing. Which apparently he wasn't, since I got all the way upstairs without a single physically impossible threat bellowed in my direction.

I had an argument about this with another fic writer once – she felt that Spike threatening Dawn with physical harm was abusive and horrible, and Dawn would be traumatized for life. I pointed out that A) it's canon that Spike does this when he's worried about Dawn's safety, and B) even if you're not a soulless vampire, it's really common for fear in a de facto parental unit to express itself as anger, C) does anyone seriously believe that Spike would ever follow through on any of those over the top threats? Seriously? And D) Dawn canonically blows off said threats and does not appear to actually feel threatened in the slightest. We ended up agreeing to disagree.

Spike was in the office, all right--I could see his hair glowing in the light of the computer monitor. I couldn't see what he was looking at, but whatever it was, it must have been really good, 'cause his eyeballs were practically SuperGlued to the screen. Or maybe really bad, because he looked horrified, not turned on. OK, what horrified William the Bloody? Besides the prospect of squiring Buffy to "Fantasy On Ice?" This I had to see. I rounded Spike's desk and peered over his shoulder. "Hey, mister, you got feelthy pictures?"

If it was Willow? Two clicks of a mouse's tail and whatever was in that window would be closed, password protected, PGP-encrypted, and accessible only through an FTP server in Outer Mongolia. Spike's way better with technology than some vampires I could name, but when he's taken by surprise he still resorts to more primitive methods. He scrambled around in his chair with the panicky flail of a cat falling off a windowsill and slapped a hand across my eyes. "Don't look!" he ordered, about half an octave higher than usual.

This story is full of early 2000s-computer jargon. It's not quite as dated as the show itself, but I give it the ol' college try.

Which meant it was a moral imperative for me to put some of that self-defense training he'd been giving me into practice and kick him in the shins--oh, come on, you'd have done it, too. "Fuck!" Spike yelled. He grabbed for his ankle, overbalanced, and banged his head on the edge of the desk as his chair rolled out from under him. He crashed to the floor, leaving me with a free-and-clear view of the computer.

For someone who's been accused of writing the Everybody Loves Spike Show, I sure have him behave like an idiot a lot.

Now, I want to make it real clear that I'm a sixteen-year-old of the world. I know all about the birds and the bees and the vampires. I've even done a little buzzing myself. And of course I know that my sister and Spike have--well, 'having sex' is way too tame for what they do. Anyway, I know all about The Sex in theory. I also know how sausages are made, in theory. That doesn't mean I'm panting for an up-close at the gooey details of either process. Especially when it involves a grainy RealPlayer file of my very naked sister bouncing up and down on my very naked best-friend-and-platonic-lust-object in Barbie's S&M Playhouse.

I may have written this whole story just to have an excuse to use the term "Barbie's S&M Playhouse."

I may have said something. It may have been 'gleep.' Luckily for my retinas, at that minute Spike lunged up over the edge of the desk and put his fist through the screen. The monitor exploded in a shower of pretty green sparks, and Spike stood there glaring at it all clenchy-jawed and snarly, breathing hard through his teeth. He turned the glare on me. "I swear by all that's unholy, Bit, the next time you sneak up on me like that I'm going to put you in a two-by-three box without benefit of hacksaw!"

Monitors! With! TUBES!!!

I glared right back--no way was he going to make this my fault. "How was I supposed to know you were watching Vampire Pervert Theater 3000?" I snapped. "I thought you were just watching NORMAL porn! Jeez, Spike, if you and Buffy are gonna to videotape your stay in the Satellite of Love, at least--"

I had another discussion with a beta about whether or not Spike would download porn. My argument was "He's a guy."

Spike vamped out and hurled the monitor clean off the desk and into the wall with a roar (and when I say 'roar,' I don't mean 'loud yell,' I mean 'roar') of "WE DIDN'T BLOODY WELL TAPE IT!"

Wow. I never knew monitors were made up of that many pieces. "You mean you taped it without telling her?" I squeaked.

"NO!" Spike flexed his computer-punching hand (bloody knuckles, shards of glass, v. sexy) and shook off the lumpies. "Someone soon-to-be-departed did! I've never seen the sodding thing before in my life!" He looked really bewildered underneath the homicidal fury.

It's really very interesting to go back and compare Early Barbverse Spike to Late Barbverse Spike in terms of what progress he makes (or doesn't make) in controlling his temper over the course of the series. Hopefully I make the progression believable.

"OK, where did you find it?" I asked. I didn't exactly want to say so, but it occurred to me that maybe Buffy had taped it without telling him. Buffy may play it all Sandra Dee on the outside, but on the inside? Pure Gypsy Rose Lee. She had to keep it all bottled up during The Angel Years, and during The Riley Years she had to be really careful not to break him, and now, well--Exhibit A, currently lying in ten zillion pieces on the floor. "Was the file just sitting on your hard drive, or...?"

Spike looked super-guilty all of a sudden. His head ducked down between his shoulders, vampire ninja turtle style. "Mighthaveclickedonalinksomethin'boutSlayers," he mumbled.

"In other words, you were surfing for Slayer porn?" I folded my arms and settled in for some primo foot-tapping. "Don't you get enough of that at home?"

The interesting thing about the Buffyverse is that the supernatural ISN'T really a secret. Tons of people know about it. It's just no one admits to knowing about it. Which makes my Buffy's job a lot easier when she decides to drag it out of the closet. Which is a roundabout way of saying, if you know where to look, of course there would be Slayer fetish websites.

"I was not! I just...happened on it, like, looking for something else!" Spike is the world's second worst liar (Willow is the winner and still champeen) and he could see I wasn't buying it. "And anyway, it's a bloody good thing I did! Christ knows how long that's been out there for any spotty little deviant with their mum's credit card number to--" His eyes went Inuyasha-huge as fresh horror overtook him. "How long has it been out there?"

Barbverse Dawn is a Sesshumaru fangirl for sure.

"I'm more worried about who the cameraman was," I said. Spiders walked up my spine for a second. "I mean, that was your bedroom, right?"

Two seconds later we burst in through the door of Mom's old room, now Buffy and Spike's House of Ill Repute. I dove for the closet and Spike ripped open the door of the big old mahogany wardrobe he'd dragged over from the crypt. (But he didn't go inside, because as everyone knows, it's very foolish to shut yourself inside a wardrobe.) I stared at the crush of cute tops and kicky boots, ooh, I bet Buffy won't miss this one, she hasn't worn it in weeks... "How many shoes does she OWN?" I pulled a box free and the whole Leaning Tower Of Gucci collapsed on me.

My fic is usually a game of Spot the Narnia Reference

"Stop larking about," Spike growled, grabbing my feebly waving hand and yanking me out of the sea of footwear. "By the angle it's got to be around here somewhere..." He did one of those effortless vampire leaps and chinned himself on the top of the wardrobe, peering over the facade of wooden curlicues on the top. "Got the bastard!" He snaked one arm over the rim and jerked something small and black free, and dropped back to the floor with a thump. "What the hell...?"

It was a tiny, palm-sized camera with a little antenna sticking out of the top. Witness the creepiness. "I'm freaking out here," I said, plopping down on the bed. "Someone actually broke into our house and hid that up there!"

Spike snarled and closed his fist, and the camera joined the monitor in Electronics Heaven before I could yell, "Wait, that's evidence!"

"Not any more, it's not."

"It could lead us back to whoever planted it," I said impatiently. "We could have woken Willow up and had her...I don't know, do something technical."

This is why Spike needs Dawn around. She's the criminal mastermind in the family.

"Point." Spike shoved his lower lip out and scowled. "If there's one, there may be more. In fact, there's got to be."

I blinked. "How can you tell?"

He looked guilty and embarrassed again. "Ah, well, you see, the web site said...

For a guy supposedly unable to feel remorse, Spike does guilty and embarrassed very well.

*****

"Oh, as they say, my God." Xander stared at the tiny repeating clip with sick fascination. "'The Hottest Slayer in a Century Meets The Coolest Vampire Ever, and Guess Who Gets Staked! Sizzling Action With Cold, Dead Seed!' And this is just the teaser. You can order a whole DVD, only $49.99. Hours of fun for the whole family."

I am pretty sure that Jonathan got Andrew to write that advertising copy.

"Well, I must say both of you have excellent technique," Anya said with an approving nod. "And Spike has a large and well-formed penis, though personally I prefer circumcised men. But I can certainly understand why you're upset if you're not getting your rightful share of the profits."

"Spike, could you cool it with the growly noises?" Willow asked, her fingers flying over the keyboard. "It's distracting. OK, there's definitely more cameras... six at least. The Magic Box, the skating rink, Spike's crypt...this one's dead... Directory, directory, who's got the root directory...hah! Xander, hand me that Unicode list."

I actually researched what all Willow would have had to do to hack into and take over the camera network. I've forgotten it all now, but for about five minutes there, my skilz were l33t.

"What I still don't get is why someone bothered to break into our house and plant cameras," I said from the opposite end of the dining room table. I was staying as far away from follow-the-bouncing-Buffy as possible. "Especially considering Spike would have ripped their heads off if he'd caught them, and Buffy would have gotten REALLY mean. If you want to make a sex film, why not just go over to one of the frat houses on campus and hire a couple of college students?"

"I hate to say it, Dawnie, but I don't think they were making a porn film." Xander tore himself away from Willow's laptop. "This is surveillance camera footage. Someone's been spying on Buffy, and the porn film is just a happy byproduct."

"But that doesn't make any sense," Willow muttered. She picked up one of the larger camera fragments with a pair of tweezers. "Look, it's all dusty, and the battery pack was dead. This hasn't worked for weeks, maybe months. Do we have any toner cartridges we could break open? I think we could use the toner as fingerprint powder, and if whoever installed these left any prints, and if Spike didn't smudge them all up with his macho camera-crushing..."

This was back when printer cartridges had loose toner in them. I had just come off working for a place where we bough giant bags of loose toner and refilled our own cartridges because it was cheaper, and by God, that stuff got EVERYWHERE.

"Oh, right, blame the victim," Spike groused. "Christ, I need a fag." He stomped over to the kitchen door, and I got up and followed him out to the back porch, which was in shadow at this time of day. He lit a cigarette and stood there puffing furiously, all formal and stiff, and it weirded me out. I mean, Spike doesn't just walk or stand or sit. Spike struts and lounges and sprawls and tucks his thumbs in his belt all "Hi, I'm Spike, and this is my crotch!"

On the other hand, somewhere underneath Spike, Vampire Sex God, is still a guy who grew up when ankles were an erogenous zone. "Spike...are you OK?"

"Didn't want you to see that," he said at last. "Not right. Not proper."

He looked absolutely miserable. Any other time I'd have patted his shoulder, but I figured I'd better roll my eyes instead. I leaned against the side of the house, ultra-cool and sophisticated and untroubled by the certain knowledge of Naked Spike a mere two layers of cloth away. "It's OK. Honest. It's not like I've never seen a naked guy before--"

So in my verse, as in canon, Dawn had a crush on Spike. And she knows perfectly well that Spike's in love with her sister, and doesn't see her that way. And she loves her sister, and wants her to be happy, and she doesn't want to be (as she puts it in another story) "pathetic" about it. So she's tried very hard to squash her crush down and pretend it doesn't exist. But sometimes...

That was a mistake. Spike went yellow-eyed, achieving zero to over-protective in six seconds. "And just who the hell--"

"You and Xander, dope, when we all went skinny dipping after that clambake. Get your mind out of the gutter." Of course vague glimpses of guy-parts decently veiled by darkness and ice-cold seawater and didn't quite, uh, measure up to, well, let's just say I'm going to be comparing my future boyfriends to Spike in more ways than one, but you know, I wasn't going to let this be weird. Spike is a total hottie, and maybe, just maybe there have been a few daydreams. Detailed daydreams. With a sound track and special effects. But there are hotties all over the planet, and not all that many guys you can talk to about important stuff like whether or not you really existed before two years ago, and whether the monks that created you remembered to add a standard-issue soul to the mix, and how incredibly annoying older sisters can be. "On second thought, I'm deeply traumatized. I think I might get over it if you talked Buffy into letting me get my navel pierced."

Spike stared at me, various bits of him twitching. "Dawn--"

I patted his shoulder, because I could. "You're gonna be inhaling filter in a minute. Let's go inside."

When we got back inside, Willow had bit and pieces of camera wired up to the laptop. "Curiouser and curiouser," she said. "The server this camera was supposed to send information to doesn't exist any longer, or at least, it's not turned on. The web site's on a regular commercial server, and the domain name's registered to Horatio Hellpop--pseudonym much? Good news, it looks like the site's only been up for a couple of days--" She broke into a triumphant grin. "We're in!"

"What're you waiting for, then?" Spike doesn't usually use his sire-to-minion voice on Willow, but he was using it now. "Take it down!"

It's not relevant to the tale at hand, so I don't belabor it here, but this Willow is a vampire with a soul. It's a long story.

"Patience, Grasshopper." Willow typed a few more cryptic strings of symbols into the laptop. "Bad news, it's going to take me a few hours to find out who the owner really is. I'll have to hack into Paypal to get his bank account info and track IP addresses and stuff."

I did not research what it would take to hack into Paypal. I have my limits.

Spike began pacing back and forth, tense and borderline vampy, looking like he really, really wanted to kill something. Or someone. "And in that time this berk could run off a hundred more copies and pass 'em out to friends as door prizes."

"Or keep them and sell fifty-seven of them to the list of people I'm downloading now," Willow said. "OK. I've disabled the site and changed the passwords, so no one will be able to order any more." She cracked her knuckles. "Give me six hours and I can clean out Larry Flynt Junior's bank account, ruin his credit history, and send anonymous tips to Donald Rumsfeld that he's a terrorist child pornographer." Willow's a little less scary without her magic, but really? Not by that much. She looked around. "Not that I would ever do anything like that."

I mean really. "Hacker" may be a 90s cliche, but I still wouldn't want one mad at me.

Spike snatched the list of names and credit card numbers off the printer and squinted at it. "Bloody hell. There's addresses all the way from Juneau to Key West." He looked at the list again, and smiled. Need I say it wasn't a very nice smile? "I think it's time to pay a visit to the locals. Could be some of them have an idea who they're ordering from. Harris, you want to take out the rest of those cameras, and--" He turned to Willow. "Will, when Buffy gets home, for God's sake don't let her suss out anything's wrong. If she finds out about this..."

My Spike still needs glasses, but is too vain to wear them. I have a number of canonical justifications for this headcanon.

All of us shuddered in unison. If Buffy found out there would be an explosion of thermonuclear proportions. Spike grabbed his motorcycle jacket and blanket and headed for the front door, and I leaped to my feet and ran after him. "Wait up! I'm going with you!"

He scowled at me. "I think not. You're going to stay here, and distract your sister like a good little minor."

"Uh-uh." I used all of my hey-Dawnie's-tall-now height to advantage. "Look, Spike, all this stuff getting out does to you is make you mad. If Buffy finds out, she's going to be..." I floundered for a minute. " Humiliated, and nobody humiliates my sister except me. I'm gonna go with you, and we're gonna find out who did it and...and... kick their butts with pointy-toed shoes."

Spike glared, but it was the old I-disapprove-on-principle-but-you're-all-right,-Niblet glare, and I knew he'd be caving in ten, nine, eight... "Move yer girly arse, then," he said with an unconvincing growl. "We've got villains to apprehend."

I scooted for the DeSoto before he could change his mind. Maybe he thought that it would be a good idea to have someone soul-having around when he was this mad, just in case. Or maybe, and I really prefer this version, he just wanted a partner in crime because it's more fun that way. Spike flung the blanket over his head and copied my dash for the car, and we flung ourselves into the DeSoto's dark interior just as Spike was beginning to sizzle. "You come along, you mind what I tell you, yeah? I say stay in the car, you stay in the car. I say you run, you run. I say you take that fucking pathetic excuse for music out of the CD player and toss it out the window--"

"--and I ignore you like always," I said cheerfully, turning up the Jennifer Lopez.

"Fine. If anyone dies tonight, it's on your head. Some things are beyond any self-respecting vampire's endurance." Spike slammed into reverse and backed out of the driveway with a screech of tires. I grabbed the door handle. Driving with Spike is always a character-building experience, and today was no exception. "First on the hit parade?"

I scanned the list. "Vernon Blakely, 1583 East Beechwood. What are we gonna say to Mr. Blakely when we get there?"

Spike gazed out through the little clean space in the windshield, obviously pondering which limb he should rip off first, and peeled out like there was a mob with torches after us. "Improvisation is a virtue, Bit."

I had absolutely no idea how they would get the DVDs back. The next several scenes are just me letting the characters take the reins and do whatever the hell they wanted to.

**********

Spike was smoking gently beneath his blanket when the shade-deficient door of 1583 East Beechwood opened to our urgent hammering, and a middle-aged guy with thinning red hair and freckles and a pot belly opened it and blinked at us. He looked like Mr. Weasley gone to seed. "Mr. Blakely?" I said with my brightest, shiniest smile.

The Blakely looked from me to Spike, and the contrast seemed to produce some kind of cognitive dissonance on his part. "Can I... have we met?"

"Only in spirit." Spike leaned heavily against the doorframe, with a smile that was probably supposed to be reassuring, but which made him look like he was sporting fangs even when he wasn't. Spike isn't a big guy--in fact, he's on the smallish side, but he's got, you know, muscles. And this air of being able to rip your liver out. Also did I mention the muscles? "I'm given to understand you made a purchase recently from...ah..." He glanced surreptitiously at the paper in his hand. "...Mad Genius Productions?"

Mr. Blakely looked at me, dubious, and at Spike, nervous. "What of it? If I'd done anything like that, which I didn't."

"We're from the, uh, department of quality control," I chirped. "The DVDs are..."

"Radioactive," Spike put in. "Rot your goolies off just like that. " I gave him an elbow-jab.

"Defective," I said firmly. "Glitches. Pixelization. It's criminal the kind of shoddy merchandise we put out. We're recalling them and giving you a replacement at absolutely no charge!"

Spike held up a jewel case and flashed it under Blakely's nose. "Director's cut. Added scenes. 40% more filth for the price."

Suspicion was gathering in Mr. Blakely's watery blue eyes. "Hey, you're that guy from the video," he said.

Spike heaved a melodramatic sigh. "All right, all right, as you've twisted my arm, I'll autograph it for you."

I honestly did not expect him to say that, but somehow there I was, typing it.

The watery eyes brightened. "Really?"

Five minutes later we were dashing for the car again, with the confused Mr. Blakely waving us goodbye. "So what's he going to do when he discovers he's been suckered for a bootleg copy of J-Lo's latest?" I asked, as we tore away from the curb.

"Long as it's got some bint with her tits hanging out on the cover, I doubt he'll notice the difference." Spike grinned. "There'd just better be some hitting involved in the next one."

**********

"I don't believe there's any such thing as a Department of Quality Control," Mr. Angusson said, looking us up and down. "What the hell kind of scam are you pulling?"

"All we want to do is to replace--" I started.

"Look, missy, I bought that DVD nice and legal, and I don't give a crap if whatever goombah and his girlfriend put on plastic fangs to do it is having second thoughts now. So you and your boyfriend just toddle off and--"

"HEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLLPPPPP!!" I screamed at the top of my lungs. "HE'S SHOWING ME HIS THING! IT'S ALL GROSS AND PURPLE AND--"

I didn't expect Dawn to do that, either. And yet!

Angusson disappeared and reappeared in two seconds flat, chucking the DVD at our heads.

"Better," Spike said as we tore out yet again. "But I'm still feeling a lack in the hitting things area."

Mr. Fishbein retreated a step from the threshold. "I'm not giving you anything, and I'm not letting you in," he quavered. "What do you think I am, stupid? You're a vampire!"

Honestly, it's Sunnydale. SOMEONE has to get it.

Spike rolled his eyes. He's learned from the masters. "Oh, bollocks, you don't really believe--"

"Oh, yeah?" Fishbein challenged. "Step through that door!"

I stepped through the door, grabbed Fishbein's hand and gave him a good hard yank, right across the threshold and into Spike's waiting fist.

"What was that?," Spike caroled, drawing back for another punch. "Come on in and have a cuppa, Spike? Better repeat it, I'm a touch deaf in that ear."

"That was unnecessarily bloody," I said as we hopped into the car and stepped on the gas, one DVD richer.

"He'll live," Spike said dismissively. "Probably. Next?"

**********

I figured I had to give Spike SOME violence, or he'd get mopey.

"Can you see--?" I hissed, trying to get a better view through the front window. It was getting dark, and I was out of practice at sneaking around not-really-abandoned buildings. Spike shushed me and crept around to the door. I peered through the sad straggly thevetia hedge, cupping my hands against the dirty glass. The place was just crawling with innnnnnteresting monsters, all huddled around a crappy old black and white TV. There's some law against demons watching flatscreen color, apparently.

"Oh, my God, are they really...you know....doing it?" The Gorthesch demon bumped a couple of Fyarls further down on the couch and plunged a scaly paw into the bowl of popcorn as they all stared at the flickering screen. "With a Slayer? I mean, I heard about it, but I didn't think even a vampire could sink that low."

"Real vampires don't," the lone vampire in the crowd protested, voice dripping disgust. "Maybe great big Slayer-whipped pussies do, but--"

"Shut up!" came a chorus of squeaky, growly, and croaky voices. Despite the complaints, everyone seemed to like the show. There were tongues hanging out. At least, I hope they were tongues.

"Yeah, it's just gettin' to the good part," a Syvithis demon whispered.

"Oooh! The one with the pommel horse?"

"No, where the Slayer goes down on him in the graveyard and he--"

I actually wrote a PWP detailing all the scenes in The Spuffy Sex Tape. An edited-down version eventually got incorporated into A Parliament of Monsters, when Angelus gets a hold of one of the copies that Spike and Dawn aren't able to track down in this story.

The front door imploded with a crash, splinters flying everywhere, and Spike strode into the room over the wreckage, a gleam in his eye and a really, really big axe slung over one shoulder. He surveyed the assortment of demons with a grin almost as big as the axe and about twice as vicious, ran his tongue over his teeth and and tucked his free thumb in his belt loop, fingers splayed over the merchandise. Just like old times. "Looks like you're right, mate," he said. "We are just getting to the good part."

**********

"OK, I take it back," I said as we headed for home. "THAT was unnecessarily bloody." It was after midnight, and we'd collected twenty-two DVDs, broken and entered fifteen houses and/or lairs, killed or maimed eight demons, broken five human fingers accidentally-on-purpose, and signed two autographs. Spike had definitely achieved his hitting things quota, and it was a safe bet that no one in Sunnydale would be mentioning Spike and Buffy's brief but eventful movie career in public any time soon.

"All right, p'raps the railroad spike was a bit much, but a bloke gets nostalgic." Spike stretched, all luxurious and satisfied, and lit up a fresh cig, trailing smoke out the window. He had a black eye and a split lip and a scrape right across the place where his cheekbone goes all knife-edgy, and the stretching made things creak inside that probably weren't supposed to creak, but he was in a much, much better mood. "He'll grow a new head."

Where did Spike get a railroad spike on short notice? I have no idea. He's just resourceful that way.

"If you say so," I said, a bit dubious. "Doesn't that only happen when you cut the old one off?"

"So it'll take a bit longer." Spike bounced a little in his seat, all hepped up on the old ultra-violence. "Still haven't found the bastard who's selling the things, though. Must be a bleeding criminal mastermind if--" I Wanna Be Sedated beebled from the cell phone in his pocket. (Like I said, a lot better with technology than some vampires I can name. He can even program it, though considering the songs he picks, sometimes we wish he couldn't.) He grabbed the phone one-handed and didn't slow down even a bit as he zipped through freeway traffic. (Well, he is evil.) "Yeh? You must be joking. You must be--fuck. That little--I'll tear his soddin' head off! Yeh, I know. I'll just bruise him a little." He clicked the phone off and stuffed it back in his pocket, spun the wheel and zigged across four lanes of traffic towards the off-ramp, leaving a chorus of screeching brakes behind us. "After I tear his soddin' head off."

"Where are we going?" I yelled.

Spike hunched over the wheel, eyes grim. "Off to see the wizard."

We pulled up in front of one of the cruddy lease-by-the-month apartment buildings over by the UC Sunnydale campus. Maybe it was the same one Dad and I stayed at when he came down from L.A. to take care of Buffy's estate that time she was dead--the second time, I mean, not the first time. Some of the grease spots in the parking lot looked familiar.

It just struck me as I was describing the building that it was almost identical to the one I'd described in Necessary Evils, so I thought I'd better lampshade it.

"Apartment 42B, Will says." Spike sucked in his cheeks and narrowed his eyes, scoping out the disintegrating stucco overhead. "There at the end." He slapped his hands together and bounded towards the stairs like he was scaling Everest. I followed like I was scaling a rickety stepladder. (Hey, lack of supernatural stamina here. I was getting pretty darned tired.) The lights were on in 42B, and we paused outside the door, which was painted in barf-making 80s turquoise. Spike pounded on it with one fist. "Open up! Land shark!"

I heard some rustling and thumping noises inside, and a crash like a bookcase falling over. "Go away!" a strangely familiar voice yelled. "You can't get in here anyway!"

"Yeh? Maybe not, but I can stand out here till you starve to death. Or set the building on fire, or...uh..." Spike paced the catwalk for a second, smoking like a fiend, which I guess is appropriate. I was pretty sure the fire thing was a bluff, since Spike's not usually one for indirect mayhem. He's got the whole hitting things fetish, after all. Then his eyes lit up and he grinned. "Maybe I can't walk through your door, but there's nothing says I can't kick it down and send in my terrible mute minion, Paco." He whirled around and unleashed one of his shitkicker boots at the door. BANG! The whole building shuddered (which sounds impressive, but considering it was probably made out of pressboard and Kleenex, isn't so much). WHAM! A hinge sprung and the doorframe cracked. I buffed my nails and waited--obviously Spike was holding back.

I don't know why more vampires don't do things like this.

"I'm gonna lose my deposit!" the voice inside wailed.

"My heart bleeds. Oh, wait, no it doesn't. Open up, or--"

The door flew open, or tried to (Spike had knocked it kind of cattywompus, and it stuck halfway.) A face peered out, pale and pear-shaped and nervous under slept-in dark hair. Behind it was a barren little studio apartment littered with pizza boxes, comic books, and boxes of DVDs and padded mailers. There was practically no furniture except a mattress and a desk with a pretty sweet computer and home studio setup.

My hand shot out and I grabbed Pasty-face by the ear and pulled, hard. "Jonathan?!" I yipped. Jonathan squirmed and batted at me, but I dug my nails in. "YOU'RE the criminal mastermind?"

"Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow!" he yelled. "Let me go, don't let him kill me, I didn't mean to, it's not my fault!"

"Oh, for God's sake, quit whining," I snapped, letting go. "Spike hasn't even touched you."

Spike took a drag on his cigarette, peeled himself off the railing and sort of glided over, all slouchy and menacing, with the angle of the floodlights leaving black caverns where his eyes should be. Jonathan squinched in on himself. "You just don't learn, do you?" Spike asked, soft and pee-your-pants scary. "How long've you had those cameras on us?"

Jonathan backed away with a panicky shuffle. "They're not mine! They were Warren's, and they haven't worked since the police confiscated all his computer stuff! Honest! I just happened to have some files I'd saved for, for--"

"Wanking material?" Spike asked, excessively sarcastic.

"Research!" Jonathan reached the wall and sat down very abruptly. "I didn't mean anything by it! All I wanted was to raise some money so Warren and Andrew could get a better lawyer! Someone who knows about demon-related cases, like Goldberg & Osbourne, or Wolfram & Hart. I didn't think you'd ever find out, and I'm really, really, really sorry, please don't kill me, please, please, PLEASE don't kill me--"

Goldberg & Osbourne is a real law firm in Phoenix, AZ, known for being sleazy ambulance-chasers. A joke that only I ever got.

"Didn't mean anything by dragging a lady's reputation in the dirt?" Spike roared (and again, by roared, I mean, well, roared). He grabbed Jonathan by his Robotech jammies and hauled him up nose-to-nose--Jonathan's one of the few guys Spike can look down on. "Well, maybe I won't mean anything when I rip your balls off and stuff them in your eye sockets, how's that?"

"Why?" I asked, grabbing Spike's arm. I realized I'd been wanting to ask that question for a long time. "Why, Jonathan? I mean, I get Warren and whatsisface--they had grudges against Buffy, but you used to be--" Well, not her friend, not really. "She saved your life! You gave her the Class Protector award! She let you off the hook when she turned Warren over to the cops--you were an accessory to murder, Jonathan, and she let you go! I don't get it. Why are you helping them?"

Jonathan yanked his pajama top out of Spike's grip and pulled himself up like he'd taken a dose of Insta-Spine. "Because they're my friends," he said, very simply, meeting Spike's yellowing eyes head-on. "And I know they're not much, but they're all I've got. Whatever else happens, you've got to stand by your friends, right? Or what's the point?" He sighed, squared his shoulders, and looked up at Spike with a little smile. "It's a fair cop. I guess you'd better do whatever it is you're going to do."

I wanted Jonathan to redeem himself a little bit, kinda?

Spike stood there looking at Jonathan, head cocked in the His Master's Voice pose he gets when he's trying really, really hard to figure out the motivations of the souled. And I knew what was going through his head. Spike was looking for a reason not to kill him.

See, Spike doesn't have a soul. He doesn't do good stuff because it's right. He can't. He's not wired that way, as he puts it. But he can do good stuff if there's a reason--like if it helps him somehow, or makes someone he loves happy. Or if it makes him feel, for a minute, like he's a man and not a monster, which is a feeling he really likes. And that's the cool thing about Spike, the thing I really love about him, and I think probably the thing Buffy loves too: not the cheekbones or the attitude or the mad combat skilz or what's under those jeans, but that he does like that feeling, and so Spike looks for those reasons. Looks real hard. Harder, I think sometimes, than some people with souls.

I'm just sayin'.

"Right," he said at last. And he hauled off and punched Jonathan right in the nose.

"YEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOW!" Jonathan fell over, clutching his face, and gore splattered everywhere. "By dose! You broge by dose!"

But still, well, evil.

"Just be glad that's all I've broke," Spike said. He wiped his knuckles on his t-shirt instead of licking the blood off, which was a pretty big compliment, really. Congratulations, Jonathan, you've graduated to Not-Food! "Christ, where's the fun in beating the shit out of a pathetic little wibbling sod like you?" He pulled a handkerchief out of his jacket pocket (that's another moderately cool thing about Spike: he carries pocket handkerchiefs) and tossed it to Jonathan. "Grab the goods, Bit. It's time to call it a night."

Jonathan sat there snorfling blood into the hanky while I ferried the DVDs and Jonathan's hard drive out to Spike--I figured Willow could check it out for contraband and return it, so we weren't stealing it exactly. As we started down the stairs with the last armload, Spike turned back to Jonathan, almost amiable. "Word to the wise. I don't forget what your friends put Buffy through. If you want to do your pals a real favor, maybe you ought to remember that while I'm out here, and they're safe in stir, no one's likely to get eaten accidental-like, eh?"

Now this! At the time that I wrote this, I had NO IDEA that Warren would come back and cause trouble later, and that Spike would, in fact, end up eating him. Indeed, by the time I wrote "The Lesser of Two Evils," I had completely forgotten that I'd written this line, and when I stumbled upon it when re-reading a couple of years later, it was this totally serendipitous piece of foreshadowing. Sometimes writing is so cool!

Jonathan stared at him, and nodded a little. And we left.

**********

It was past two o'clock when we got home. We locked the DVDs in the trunk of the DeSoto, which had been the closet for a lot of other skeletons in its day, and after a short consultation on how to best avoid Ordeal By Buffy, we strolled into the house as if we were coming in from a late patrol and nothing in the universe was wrong.

Willow was still tapping away at her laptop in the dining room. "I'm just tracking down the copies on eBay," she whispered, "and sending out fake cease and desist orders from Mad Genius Productions. Buffy's in bed. She doesn't suspect a thing." She noted our alarmed glances and added, a bit huffily, "Don't worry, Xander took care of the the subterfuge part. Did you get him?"

"Yeh, he's got." Spike rolled his head and rubbed back of his neck. "Battle of the ages. Christ, I'm glad that's done with." He eyed our crumpled list of victims thoughtfully. "Wonder if I could fake a business trip to Juneau."

"Don't press your luck," Willow said drily.

"Someday I'm going to sire someone with a minimum of respect for their elders," Spike growled.

Willow grinned, smug. "And they'll bore you so much you'll stake them inside forty-eight hours. Shoo. Buffy's waiting for you."

So we headed for the stairs, and as I put my foot on the first step, I heard Spike heave a big sigh behind me. "Thanks, Bit. Couldn't have managed without you." When I looked back, he was staring at the toes of his boots, all awkward and embarrassed. "I just hope this hasn't... hasn't..."

"Spike, I'll always think of you as my brother." I waited two beats, and added with a perfectly straight face, "My brother with the enormous schlong."

I got three whole steps before Spike came after me and chased me all the way upstairs.

This story is the second of three I wrote ("The Road to Byzantium" and "A Dark and Stormy Night" are numbers one and three) which has Dawn moving on from her crush and into a more grown-up friendship with Spike as a major theme, and hopefully it works. And they all lived happily ever after, at least until I got another idea!

#btvs #fic discussion #thenewbuzwuzz #spuffy #fan fiction #dvd commentary

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kee-writestrashh · 7 years ago

Text

Guns for Hire

Ramsay Bolton x Reader

Part 1 of the Bastard’s Boys series

Ao3

Chapter 2: Wolves at the Door

"When did you find out?" Ramsay asked, arms crossed, leaning against the door frame as you peed on the fourth pregnancy test. "Only this morning." You said with a sigh, replacing the cap and setting it next to the other three that all read positive. "I was hoping to tell you at dinner tonight. But..." You added, giving your husband a frown. He pushed off the door frame and watched, for the fourth time, the lines read positive. It was hard to tell what was going through his head. Was he mad? Excited? Scared? Happy?

"Who all knows?" He asked, glancing over at you as you washed your hands.

"Just you baby." You said, reassuringly, drying your hands off.

Ramsay nodded. "You're making a doctor's appointment first thing in the morning." With that he left you alone in the bathroom.

You were a bit afraid. It wasn't that he had shown no emotion, it was that you didn't know the emotion he had etched on his face. It was foreign and unknown to you. Was he making you set up an appointment for an abortion? The thought made your stomach hurt.

You let out a yawn and crawled into bed. You had been so ready for bed after sex, but then Ramsay demanded going and buying pregnancy tests.

Kira raised her head off the floor a bit when you entered the bedroom. You gave her a loving nudge with your toe before climbing into bed, heaving a deep sigh as you sunk into your squashy pillow.

A few moments later Ramsay came to bed. What happened next made you want to cry in happiness. Once under the covers he pulled you into him, nuzzled your neck, and placed his hand protectively over your stomach.

"I love you, baby girl." He whispered.

You let a small smile tug your lips, "I love you too, baby."

×××

The smell of bacon and coffee woke you. You looked around through bleary eyes and stifled a yawn. The clock on the bedside table read 8:17.

You sat up, running your hand through your hair, casting around for your bathrobe. You slid out of bed and opened the closet door. No bathrobe hanging up.

'Laundry room.' You thought with a sigh, grabbing the silk robe instead.

It was really too cold as the cold December air seemed to seep into your hardwood floor. You shrugged into your robe and made your way to the kitchen.

The table was set with a plate of eggs, toast, and bacon. A cup of coffee waiting for you. Ramsay was nowhere to be found. He must have been outside smoking.

You sat in the chair and tucked into your food. Once you had eaten your fill you looked around the spotless kitchen, thinking back to the night before. You sipped your coffee, absentmindedly running your hand over your stomach.

Ramsay came into the kitchen, whistling. You looked up and offered a small smile. He narrowed his eyes and gave you a sweet smile back.

"Go get ready. We have a doctor's appointment at eleven thirty." He said, clapping his hands together, and taking your plate away.

"Uhm, okay, love." You said, rising from your chair.

"I need to go into the office after, so one of the guys will bring you home. We have dinner reservations at six."

You smiled to yourself walking into the bathroom and turning the shower on. It had been weeks since your husband had taken you out to eat, and you were excited. Though, you were also nervous about the appointment in three hours.

"How cold is it outside?" You called from your closet.

"Cold enough." Ramsay called back.

You nodded to yourself grabbing a sweater and pair of skinny jeans. After dressing you pulled on your boots and walked back to the bathroom to fix your hair and make up.

"Come on baby girl, let's go!"

"Coming!" You called from the bathroom, finishing up your hair.

Ramsay held out your coat and purse when you reached the front door.

×××

You felt extremely out of place in this waiting room. You felt way over dressed as you looked around at the women in the room. Ramsay sat, impatiently tapping his foot until the nurse opened the door and called your name.

Ramsay possessively grabbed your hand and pushed you forward to walk in front of him as the nurse led you back.

"Good morning, Mrs. Bolton." The nurse said kindly, as she indicated you to step on the scale.

"Good morning!" You said brightly, as she took down your weight.

"So what are we doing today?" The nurse asked, leading you to an empty room.

"Well, yesterday five pregnancy tests informed me that I'm pregnant." You said, as Ramsay helped you up onto the examination bed.

"First?" The nurse asked, making a note.

"Yes." You breathed in excitement, cheeks flushing.

The nurse smiled kindly, "can you tell me the last day of your cycle?"

You frowned, trying to remember. "Uh...."

"Second week of September." Ramsay spoke up.

Nothing slipped past him. In a weird way it was like he knew everything. Especially when it came to you.

The nurse nodded, writing another note. She then smiled at you again.

"Alright, let's get some blood drawn and a urine analysis and then Doctor Stark will be with you and we'll see what we can see."

You nodded, sliding off the table and following the nurse. You glanced back at Ramsay who looked uncomfortable with letting you leave without him.

Five minutes later the nurse returned you to your room and you sat nervously on the examination bed while Ramsay sat in a chair, stared out the window. Every so often he would glance down at his watch and jiggle his foot.

Finally there was a knock on the door and the doctor entered as Ramsay stood quickly, taking his place beside you.

The doctor was a lovely looking woman, who was maybe old enough to be your mother. She had kindly blue eyes and deep auburn hair.

She held her hand out to shake Ramsay's hand.

"I'm Doctor Stark. But feel free to call me Cat." She took a seat on her stool and glanced down at the clipboard she was holding.

"So, I believe a congratulations are in order. Mother's urine sample and blood shows she is in perfect health and baby will do just fine. And this is your first?"

"Yes ma'am." You said, unable to keep the grin off your face.

"Never had any miscarriages before?" The doctor questioned.

You shook your head, "no. But I've been trying for a couple years. Was about ready to give it up as a lost cause. But here we are."

"Here we are." Doctor Cat echoed, writing more things on her clipboard. "Okay, well, you seem healthy, your weight is good, I want you to start taking prenatals, and we will get the Doppler in here to see if we can hear a heartbeat."

You chewed your lip and gave a nod.

You held back tears, gripping Ramsay's hand as the tiny heartbeat came through the speaker of the Doppler.

Ramsay clenched his jaw and fought back a grin.

"I would say we are about eight to nine weeks. Next appointment we will get an ultrasound done, and see exactly how well the little one is doing." Doctor Cat said, with a smile.

The woman at the front desk handed you a slip of paper with your next appointment. You thanked her, smiling brightly, as Ramsay led you from the office. Your smile faltered slightly as you saw Damon's car parked next to yours.

"I won't be long." Ramsay said, pressing a kiss to your temple and then stepping into Damon. "She will get home safe or even Satan himself will have pity on you." He growled so threateningly it made your blood run cold.

"Y-yes, of course." Damon trembled, opening the door for you.

You said nothing as Damon wound his way out of the downtown. You didn't like him. Something about him made you uneasy. But he was Ramsay's right hand. He had more brains than some of the men Ramsay had employed.

"You hungry, ma'am?" Damon asked, waiting on the stoplight to turn green.

"No. Thank you though." You said, watching a group of people hurry across the street, bundled against the harsh December wind and laden with shopping bags.

×××

You were curled up on the couch, under a blanket, reading when both dogs sat up and growled at the front door. You peered at them in interest as the doorbell rang.

You hurried to the door as the dogs barked. Peering out the peep hole you saw two men in suits standing on your door step.

Slowly you opened the door.

The taller of the two, a auburn haired man gave you a smile, while the sandy haired man gave you a nod.

"Mrs. Bolton?" The auburn haired man asked, flashing a badge.

Your stomach dropped, but you put on a sweet smile, "Yes. May I help you gentlemen?"

"We have a few questions for you. I'm detective Stark and this is my partner Detective Greyjoy."

"Yes, of course. Please, come in out of the cold." You said opening the door wider. Kira and Willow on your heels, emitting low, rumbling growls. You snapped your fingers and the dogs reluctantly retreated across the room to their beds, but never taking their eyes off the men.

You motioned to the empty love seat and the two detectives sat down.

"Can I offer you gentlemen anything to drink? Tea, coffee, water?" You asked taking your seat, and folding your blanket up.

"No thank you." Detective Greyjoy said, eyeing you up and down.

Your phone lit up on the coffee table.

[Ramsay: 5 min]

"If you'll excuse me a second." You said, picking your phone up and hitting call.

'Yes baby doll?' Ramsay said on the other end.

"Hey, wanted to finish up that cake for your father. Can you bring home some sugar?" You said, looking down at the coffee table.

'Of course, baby. See you soon. I love you.'

"Be careful. I love you too." You said, hanging up and turning back to the detectives. "Sorry, I just wanted to catch him before he got home. Really don't wanna be out in this cold."

'Bring home some sugar' was your code phrase to let Ramsay know unexpected company had shown up.

"Not a problem at all. But, last night a man was murdered behind the bar you work at. Reports say you were the last one to see him." Detective Stark said, pulling a picture from his jacket pocket and laying it on the coffee table and sliding it towards you.

You picked up the photo with trembling fingers and taking in a sharp gasp. "Oh my god." It was a picture of Dogbait Farlan as he was known at the bar. You looked up from the picture, trying to remember yesterday. You had been feeling ill and were only half there.

"What... what happened?" You asked, looking between the two men.

"Stabbed to death it seems." Greyjoy spoke, glancing around your house. "Awfully nice place for someone who works at a bar."

His partner gave him a scowl.

You bristled, "I've been working at the bar since I was eighteen. The customers love me and tip me well. Besides i co-own it, if you must know. And my husband works at the bank. We don't hurt for money, thank you."

"Please forgive my partner's rudeness. He's having a bad day it seems." Stark spoke up quickly.

You pursed your lips and turned your gaze to the red head, "is your mother the OBGYN at the place down town?"

The man nodded.

"I saw her today. She confirmed my pregnancy." You said, making small talk. If you could keep them talking until Ramsay got home you'd feel better.

"Congratulations. You must be excited."

You nodded, smiling. Glancing up as Ramsay entered the house, looking rather goofy with a bag of sugar. He gave you a quick look and then ran his eyes over the detectives.

Both men stood, pulling their badges. Ramsay gave a nod. You watched him take an interest in the Greyjoy man

"Has my wife done something I should know about? Money laundering? Murder? Grand theft auto, perhaps?" Ramsay asked, dropping the sugar on the coffee table and taking a seat beside you.

Detective Stark gave a laugh, putting his badge away, and sitting down again. "No, sir. But we had information that she was the last one to speak to our murder victim last night before we was found dead behind the bar.

From the corner of your eye you saw Ramsay narrow his slightly.

Bastard. You knew it. It was him. It had to be.

"So, what can you tell us?" Greyjoy asked.

"Well, I mean, it was a slow evening. Just the regulars. I left early. I wasn't feeling well and had a date with my husband. But by the time I got home I was feeling too bad to go out. But as far as the bar... Nothing out of the ordinary, honestly. Farlan was my last customer before clocking out, yes. He ordered a beer, drank it, and left. He wasn't with anyone that I know of, and he didn't seem distressed in any way. He was telling me about his new litter of hounds and was just regular ol' Farlan. Sorry if I'm not much help. I can't believe... I mean... He was a good guy." You said, playing up emotion at the end. Ramsay draped his arm around your shoulders and gave you a small squeeze. To let you know you were playing your part wonderfully.

"No enemies? He didn't owe anyone any money or favors?" Stark asked.

You frowned, shaking your head. "Not that I'm aware of. He was a pretty quiet man. After him and his wife divorced he kept himself to himself mostly."

The detectives exchanged looks, telling you they were back to square one. Stark sighed and rose from his seat.

He held his hand out to you and Ramsay in turn.

"Thank you for your time. If you hear anything, please give us a call."

"Of course. Good luck." Ramsay said, politely showing the men to the door.

Once they were gone, Ramsay clicked the lock and watched as they drove away. He then walked over to the chair they sat in and pulled all the cushions and pillows, examining every inch.

He stood back up and turned to you.

You grinned at him, picking up the bag of sugar. "We may have more sugar than anyone in the world now. When the apocalypse happens we can make our fortune selling sugar." You giggled.

Ramsay snorted, following you to the kitchen.

"Did you do it?" You asked casually, glancing at your husband over your shoulder as you placed the bag of sugar on a shelf in the pantry.

"No. Wasn't us. We were across town."

You frowned, crossing your arms. "Then who? I mean, who'd want to kill that man? Everyone loved him."

Ramsay shrugged, stepping into you and pulling you into him.

"Go get ready for dinner."

"I didn't like that one detective. He was rude." You said, slipping your dress on and pulling your hair aside so Ramsay could zip it.

He kissed along your bare skin before pulling the zipper up.

"Rude, how?" He asked, placing a diamond necklace around your neck and clasping it.

You fingered the new necklace and stared at it in the mirror.

"Rams, this is beautiful." You whispered.

"Thought my little momma might like it when I saw it in the window. Now, tell me about the detective." Ramsay said, kissing your cheek.

You turned to face him, "he was just all like, 'this is an awfully nice place for someone who works at a bar.' Fucking rude ass."

You saw the gears turning behind your husband's eyes.

"Don't do anything stupid, please." You added quickly.

Ramsay smirked, "I would do no such thing, baby girl."

"Liar." You whispered, pressing your lips to his.

His grin widened against your lips, but said nothing as he kissed you back.

#ramsay bolton x reader #ramsay bolton #ramsay bolton imagines #game of thrones #game of thrones imagines #mafia au #ao3fic #ao3 writer #guns for hire #kee_theyoungwolf #kee-writestrash #modern ramsay bolton #ramsay is his own warning #game of thrones au #game of thrones fic #archiveofourown

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t-oresama · 7 years ago

Text

“Japanese Fairy Tales” by Lafcadio Hearn (and others)

Synopsis: N/A

Published: 1948; republished in 1958 (Peter Pauper Press) Genre: Folklore, Fairy Tale Rating: 3 out of 5 Reader Review: This will be by far my strangest review for, by far, the strangest book I have read so far. Not strange in its subject matter (not really, anyway), but just its strange existence. I found this book at my local Savers, where 2 things caught my eye: 1) the fact that it was previously owned by a library in Cotuit, Massachusetts in 1978 (which fascinated me as a librarian), and 2) the fact that it was a little 60-page book about Japanese fairy tales and I happened to be going to Japan in the coming weeks. However I was already reading-- you’ll never guess-- “Super Mario” at the time. And I never like to read more than one book at a time, just so I can keep my mind focused entirely on that one story. Now that I am free from that book, I’m also now free to play catch-up with all my other books. Starting with this one, because it’s the shortest and smallest. But since this is me writing this, and my goal is to give the summary and my thoughts on each story, the length of this review will not match the short nature of the book. Sorry...

To start with, the picture above is the only one I could find of the cover of the book I own. If you Google “Japanese Fairy Tales Hearn”, you’ll get many other results of specific covers for each fairy tale contained in the book. And some of them are downright scary. I often forget that the world of fairy tales isn’t all princesses and talking animals, but some legitimately freaky stuff under the guise as being life lessons for kids. And there isn’t a lot of information on this book or the author. The only lead-in before the stories is a note saying that of the eight stories presented, six are written by Hearn. I can’t tell if this means he made them up based on other Japanese folklore, or if he translated them, or what that means for the remaining two as far as where they originated. There are also, as is common in other fairy tales, pictures to accompany each story, which are stylized much like the cover, with a limited color palette of reds, yellows, and black and white. I like to think this was done intentionally, to mimic the looks of older Japanese artwork at the time. It’s a peculiar little (literally) thing. But let’s get onto the stories.

Unless mentioned otherwise, any story I write about is written and/or translated by Hearn, starting with this one, the “Chin-Chin Kobakama”. This story is a lesson for naughty Japanese children who make a mess of Japanese floor/tatami mats, or are just lazy in general. It centers around a woman who grew up with many servants, thus never needing to even dress herself. Once she got married to a warrior, who was away for many days at a time, she would still be lazy while he was away until hundreds of fairies dresses as warriors started to visit her at 2AM every day and chant a rhyme to torment her. Turns out there are fairies like these ones who would do this to bad children who didn’t take care of the floor mats and-- wouldn’t you know it-- they exist to torment the woman for that very reason. It’s a mild introduction to what I assumed would be weirder fairy tales as the book went on, and is also mildly irritating in that it only ends in this revelation and not in a lesson learned/moral. Did the woman start to be less lazy afterwards? Who knows.

Second up is a story not written by Hearn, called “The Green Willow”. Two sentences in and I have to remind myself of the language used in the 1940s/1950s where meanings differ from how we interpret certain words today, but despite that, I can’t help but feel how adamant the narrator is to let us know that the main characters are “gay”: “Tomodata was a gay, handsome young nobleman in the retinue of the Prince of Noto. He was rich and he was kind; he was charming and he was gay.” I understand that “gay” is “happy” in this context, but why use it twice? Why not pick a synonym? It bothers me on a grammatical level, and also makes me chuckle like a little child. Anyway, the Prince tasks Tomodata with delivering a message, going through any weather and any terrain to deliver it, and to not look into the eyes of a maiden until it is delivered. Tomodata, a lonely young man, forgets this last part and falls instantly in love with a woman named Green Willow. He also forgets the message he’s meant to deliver altogether and starts a life with Green Willow, happily for three years until she dies/disappears right in front of him. He comes to find that three weeping willows that stood where they first met have now been cut down. All he does at the end, however, is lament that he recited a poem he made up to Green Willow when they first met, saying he should have said something else. Again, it doesn’t seem like a lesson learned, as he never even references his forgotten promise to the Prince. But I’m not even sure what kind of moral there was supposed to be for this one. That women distract men from important tasks? Would make sense for the 1940s, I suppose...

“The Goblin Spider” is third, and by far the shortest story of the bunch at just 2 1/2 pages. It tells the legend of goblin spiders, creatures who look like spiders in the daytime but at night turn into huge spiders that “do awful things”. They can also shapeshift as humans, so that’s a really good way to get me to have nightmares about something I already have a phobia of. There’s a temple haunted by these goblin spiders and a samurai vows to overthrow them, but he’s tricked by a goblin spider disguised as a priest. Luckily, the samurai wounds the spider who leaves a blood trail for the samurai’s comrades to find it and kill it. I... I don’t even know what to make of all this, other than being more weary of spiders at night than I already am.

The fourth and second shortest story is “The Fountain of Youth”. There have been many stories based around a source of eternal youth done before, so I was curious as to how Japan would tell its story. And its story is, essentially, that an old man drinks from the fountain, discovers he is now a young man, tells his wife, she goes to drink it, but drinks so much that she becomes an infant. It takes such a quick turn that I really did want more. Did she hate her old self? Was she jealous that her husband was now better-looking than she? Did she simply have no impulse control? Or was she just really really thirsty? And all the last line ends on is the husband carrying his baby wife home, “thinking strange melancholy thoughts.” Honestly, I dread to think what those “strange” thoughts are. But it’s such a short story that, although it is a folklore, I wished this could’ve been longer out of all eight stories. C’mon, Japan.

Next is “Urashima”. Urashima is a young fisherman who, through his good deed of harmlessly releasing a tortoise he caught with his fishing line, is visited by a spectral young woman, the daughter of the Dragon of the Sea. She is so grateful that he did not harm the tortoise that she offers to be his wife in the land of the Ocean God. He agrees and lives there with his new wife for three years (why is it always three years?) before he gets homesick. His wife gives him a box to never be opened while he travels back to his village, or he will never see her again. When he arrives there, he’s told that he is four-hundred years in the future and, in great doubt and fear, opens the box. This ages him four-hundred years as well, and he dies. I found myself liking this story the most. It was mythical, emotional, and just felt like a fairy tale (or a shortened epic; I kept making comparisons to this with Homer’s Odyssey). I know most fairy tales don’t need to have a fixed moral ending, but just need to be something that ingrains the deep culture of the country of origin. This did just that, and very well. I’d love to see this in some sort of short movie form, as I feel like it could evoke the same emotions if done right.

Following this story is “The Boy Who Drew Cats”, a story that I actually think could be connected to “The Goblin Spider”. There’s a boy who is considered too scrawny and weak to be a farmer like his father, so he becomes an acolyte of a local priest. However, while he’s a perfect apprentice, he had a thing for drawing cats (why it’s cats specifically is never explained; all that’s said is that “he had the genius of a great artist”), and he drew them on things from the margins of his books to the pillars of the shrine. He’s told he would be better off as an artist than a priest, but instead of doing that, he looks for another shrine to take him in. Now, the story starts to talk about a big shrine that, little does the boy know, is abandoned because goblins have taken over. And I swear there’s even a paragraph that is exactly the same as what is said in “The Goblin Spider” that talks about warriors who tried and failed to kill them. Anyway, the boy sees the big walls and draws a bunch of cats. He goes to sleep and wakes up to find a dead goblin in the middle of the floor and all of his cat drawings with blood on their mouths. He later goes on to become a very famous artist. And we’re back to these stories being confusing and unsatisfying again. It’s never explained why they come to life, though I’m assuming it’s because the boy is kind of sort of a priest? There’s also a part of the story where the priest tells the boy to “Avoid large places at night; keep to small” but by the story’s end, I really couldn’t comprehend the message behind it. It’s an abrupt story with an abrupt, barely-resolved end. And it’s another story that had so much potential but fell short, an unfortunately common theme with these stories that I’m trying hard not to be too mad at, since they’re probably thousands of years old and nothing can be done about it now.

“Mother in the Mirror”, the second story not written/translated by Hearn, tells the story of a family, and how the husband bestows the gift of a mirror to his wife. Being from the country, this ornate mirror was the first of its kind in their village, and the wife would look at herself in it for the first few days, but stop when she realized it was distracting from her work. Years pass without the mirror being used, and meanwhile their daughter grows up looking just like her mother. The mother becomes ill and tells the daughter to look in the mirror every day to see her mother, saying she would always be with her. She dies and at the end of each day, the daughter talks to her reflection in the mirror, not knowing this was not her mother until many years later. She grows up good and faithful and kind; even when she learns about the mirror’s true capabilities, she responds that her mother was still always with her, and that without this daily ritual, she would have forgotten her mother’s love. And... that’s it. It’s a perfect length for this story, but didn’t go at all where I thought it would. I was certain it would be a story about the sin of vanity and how it can consume us, but it was oddly pleasant and heartwarming. If I had to guess a takeaway from this, it’s that we are reflections of our parents, and live in their image.

Finally, we have the last story: “The Old Woman and her Dumpling”. An old woman drops a dumpling and it falls in a hole in her floor. When she tries to retrieve it, the earth caves in around her and she falls into the hole and into another world. She is captured by an Oni (a Japanese monster in folklore) who demands she make him dinner every night with a magic paddle that makes rice multiply. She complies but starts to miss home after a while, so she decides to escape in a boat and with the magic paddle. The Oni tries to drink the water, as it cannot swim, but throws it all up when she makes him laugh (gross) and she escapes. She manages to travel back to her home and become famous for her dumplings and her ability to basically end world hunger. Of all the stories in this book, for some reason this is my least favorite. The old woman is depicted as a woman who likes to laugh and is basically okay with just being plopped anywhere, even by a demon, as long as she can cook. She laughed at three guardian statues trying to warn her about the Oni and laughs again while trying to hide from the Oni. She just comes off as senile and loony. The Oni didn’t kill her when she was captured due to her own incompetence and she steals from him. Assuming he can’t cook without it, he’s as good as dead. I know he’s a demon, but he spared her life and wasn’t exactly torturing her, so the whole thing just comes off as being mean. I couldn’t get behind the old woman and her motivations, even though she didn’t ask to be a cook for the Oni and was just looking for her dumpling. OH AND ALSO. She looks for that one dumpling, which is probably gross and caked in dirt by that point, for two pages. Yeah, she’s batty.

Thus ends my summation and thoughts on the eight stories that make up this obscure collection of fairy tales. It took me less than half an hour to read, and each story made me feel something different. This is definitely an unorthodox way of reviewing, as I told you the entire plots of each fairy tale (spoiler alert?), but if anything, it should encourage you to read up on some other Japanese fairy tales and even some modern urban legends. It’s fascinating to read about the stories of a culture so different from your own. I gave this a 3 of 5 because I did end up bummed out/frustrated by the ends of more fairy tales than pleased/content, though my two clear favorites are “Mother in the Mirror” and “Urashima”. But that’s the great thing about fairy tales: they can be about anything, carry any message, be any length, and even the shortest can speak to a whole culture of people. It’s a fictional look in the real goings-on of a country, sort of like a more captivating version of a history book. So go ahead, read a fairy tale, or two... or eight.

#book reviews #books #tory reads #japanese fairy tales #lafcadio hearn #japan #fairy tales #folklore #myths #this is such a peculiar book #everything from how i got it to its contents is something out of a weird fairy tale itself #and believe it or not #i started this review with the intent of it being really short #instead i just spoiled everything #whoops #judging a book by its cover #ttfn ta ta for now

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readsahmmoore · 7 years ago

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A Dogged Love: Chapter 2

“All you think of lately, is getting underneath me. All I dream of lately, is how to get ya underneath me…” Seraphin heard the alarm, distant at first, start to move her groggy body. And as with most mornings, she couldn’t help but shimmy with the catchy tune.

Her menagerie of animals roused around her, happy to see their human awake. “How are my babies this morning? Who’s needs to potty?” She asked the 4 smooshy faces staring at her. Their excitement increased at the mention of a word related to going outside. Swinging her legs out of bed, she sat up and gave each of her fur babies some love. But their smoochfest was interupted by her phone ringing on the table beside her.

Checking the screen, she saw the silly picture of her best friend from their last road trip appear. “Jaqlyn, what’s up?” “Unfortunately, me. How you get up this early is beyond me.” Jaqlyn replied. “It’s six fifteen. It’s not that early! And some of us actually have to work at staying in shape.” “Thank God I’m not some. Now, quit talking. If I hang up now, I can still sleep for another two hours…” “You called me!” Sera quipped. “M-kay. I need a ride. Please and thank you. I’ll be ready by eight forty–five. Goodnight.”

Hanging up, Sera shook her head at her best friend. Inseparable since their freshman year in college, the two were more different than alike, but understood each other eerily well and accepted each other wholeheartedly. “Your aunt is nutso, guys,” Sera told the herd watching her dress for her Crossfit class. An hour and a half later, Sera returned home to four raucous dogs and one sprite-like cat, all of whom were ready breakfast.

After grabbing their food, she let them eat while she threw a quick bowl of oatmeal and a couple of strips of bacon together for herself. Sitting out on her porch, watching the pups frolick, she ate and checked her emails, preparing for the day. Scanning her inbox, her eyes caught site of a familiar, but totally unexpected name.

She froze. Sera fumbled trying to set down her mug of orange juice, slamming it against the lip of the table. Sticky juice sloshed everywhere, but her eyes never left her Ipad. Sera could vaguely make out the sound of Oliver barking his little Frenchie head off over the roaring of blood in her ears. Her heart pounded and her breathing ratcheted up a few notches–a reaction she noticed, but was unable to control. Sera’s mind erupted at a sprint, rapidly firing off questions: Is this for real? Is it really her? Why after all this time? Is she okay? How did she remember?

Sharp teeth on Sera’s toes snapped her back to the present and before she was conscious enough to stop it, Willow was off with her slipper and halfway across the yard. She stared, blankly, at Oliver’s little sister, the resident shoe thief and foot fetishist.

Forcing herself to take a couple of deep breaths, Sera looked from the taunting dog, back to her Ipad and focused on the From address: [email protected]. QConnely.

There was no mistaking it. She knew only one Q. Connely. And not many people used her old address which still forwarded to her current account. Sera mentally took a step back, ignoring the swell of conflicting emotions ravaging her insides to visualize them in pie chart form–one of her favorite ways to cope with overwhelming thoughts or decisions. Taking stock, she surmised she was about forty percent surprised and equal parts unnerved and elated. She wasn’t sure why, after all this time, Quinn would contact her. It had been years since they last spoke, and not a day had it been easy.

“Well, guys,” she said, looking at each of the dogs collapsed at her feet, “what do you think she wants?” Sera looked to Jaxyn, her oldest pup and confidant. “What do you think, Jaxy?” Coming to a stop in front of her master, Jaxyn politely put her paw up on Sera’s leg. Taking Jaxyn’s head in her hands, Sera kissed the dog square on her squishy, fuzzy lips. “Thanks for the support, Sweets. I love you, too.” Jaxyn’s nub wagged wildly and Sera looked from Jaxyn’s jovial grin to the email, letting her eyes fall on the title she glanced over before. “Pimento Cheese and Fish Sticks”. Sera inhaled sharply, oblivious to the startled dogs surrounding her, who teetered between excited and alarmed. Her eyes burned and her nose tingled, preparing for the tears.

The memory flashed into her mind, pulling at her, plowing into her like a bug into a windshield. Surrendering, Sera closed her eyes and let the memory of her first official date with Quinn wash over her.

A day that looked like a series of unfortunate events ended up becoming their Day of One Very Fortunate Event, as they’d later refer to it. Meeting under some of the most awkward circumstances, including a vet visit involving one exceptionally nervous dog stomach and a helicopter poop assault, it was immediately clear to Sera that there was an undeniable spark between them–though it wouldn’t be until after the visit that either of them would do anything about it. By the end of her shift that fateful day, Sera hadn’t been able to get Quinn off her mind. The way they’d laughed hysterically at the insanity of the situation made her smile. And the way Quinn insisted on helping clean up, while thoroughly apologizing showed her kindness and consideration.

Above all else, it was Quinn’s sympathy and compassion for poor nervous Baxter that touched Sera the most. Quinn never raised her voice or reprimanded the dog for his accident, like she saw so many other owners do. Instead, Quinn took a minute to rub Baxter’s stomach and murmur into his ear, calming him down, making sure he was alright.

It was that moment that later had Sera ignoring the rules when she looked up Quinn’s number in her chart. Using a concerned checkup on Baxter as reason for the call, Sera offered to bring something over to settle the pooch’s stomach. And the ploy worked.

Sera’s ringing phone yanked her from her reverie. She took a deep breath and checked the name on the screen. Seeing Jaq’s face she checked the time–already five minutes late and she wasn’t even dressed yet.

“Sorry! Two minutes and I’m on my way!” Sera shouted, answering the phone and just as quickly ending it with Jaq mid-sentence. Running through the house, Sera threw on clothes and grabbed her things. She was out the door in a minute and forty-seven seconds she noticed, when she punched Jaq’s speed dial.

“I’m around the corner, come out, I’ll slow down a little,” Sera teased. “Ha-ha. Your just lucky my boss happens to love me,” Jaq told her, sliding in to the passenger seat. “Not if you don’t bring him his coffee and donuts he won’t. I should know.” A smile came to Sera’s lips as she sped down the dirt road leading to her family’s ranch. “No kidding. Your dad still goes on and on about how his own daughter won’t indulge him after all he’s done raising you and keeping you alive all these years. And about how I’m the daughter he never had,” Jaq added, stealing a glance at Sera. “Hey, it’s not my fault you learned to ride a horse better than I did. You sure had enough practice with your endless stream of men.” “Don’t be jealous, you know I’ll still teach you,” Jaq added, leaning over the console, sliding her hand over Sera’s chest. Sera braked hard outside the barn, laughing as she swatted Jaq’s hand away. “You missed that boat a long time ago. Now get out of here before I tell your boss you’re trying to corrupt his little girl!”

Instead of getting out, Jaq turned to face her. “What’s going on?” she asked. Sera furrowed her brow, knowing she was caught. “What? What are you talking about?” Jaq knew her better than she knew herself. It wasn’t like she was keeping the email from Jaq but it wasn’t the right time. She hadn’t had any time to process how she felt about it and they both needed to get to work. “Seriously, Ms. If You’re On Time You’re Late?” Jaq rolled her eyes and reclicked the seatbelt she had taken off. Dropping her head back on the headrest, Sera sighed. “I got an email from Quinn this morning. Okay, thank you, goodbye.” Sera made a play for Jaq’s seatbelt. She was met with an arched eyebrow and hung her head. “Come on,” she whined. “I’m late. I’ll tell you all about it tonight.” She looked to Jaq to see if her placation worked and watched both her friend’s eyebrows shoot up. “Fine! If you get out of the car and let me go to work, I’ll forward you the email when I get a minute.” Sighing and feigning interest in her nails, Jaq didn’t budge. Sera looked around, exasperated. Moaning, she pulled out her phone and called up Quinn’s email, forwarding it to Jaq and showing her the screen. As soon as Jaq heard her phone’s email alert, she smiled brightly and climbed out of the car. “Thank you!” She said as she jogged into the barn.

Shaking her head, Sera threw her truck in reverse and peeled out on the white caliche. She had known Jaq for twenty-one years. They knew each other better than they knew their own sisters. She wasn’t sure why she thought she could sneak anything past her best friend. Jaq was the only one to tell her the truth when she ended things with Quinn. And hearing that Jaq thought she was making a mistake wasn’t the easiest thing, but she loved her for her honesty. Jaq had the balls to put words to what she already feared.

Flipping through the stations as she drove through town, Sera briefly heard a few notes she knew all too well. Notes she usually couldn’t forget fast enough. But this time, she switched back to the station they’d come from. Sitting at an intersection, she stared, unfocused and listened to the lyrics she still knew by heart.

‘…And I will swallow my pride. You’re the one that I love. And I’m saying goodbye… Say something, I’m giving up on you. I’m sorry that I couldn’t get to you. Anywhere, I would have followed you. Say something, I’m giving up on you…’ Say Something, by Ian Axel. Sera wasn’t sure if she appreciated him for writing a song that so aptly fit her break up with Quinn, or if she hated him for writing something that set such a gut-wrenching experience to music.

Without knowing how, Sera found herself parked behind her vet’s office, tears streaking her cheeks. She wasn’t sure when the song ended or how long she was sat there, but she was sure where her mind went. She couldn’t hear that song without thinking of Quinn, of the hurt in her eyes when Quinn pleaded with her to explain what was happening–when she begged Sera not to leave her. Part of her heart still ached just as deeply as it had the day she left Quinn, and all the days since. She knew time didn’t heal all wounds. Some wounds weren’t meant to heal. They were meant to remind you of something you weren’t supposed to forget.

When the back door to the office popped open, Sera swipped the tears from her face and gathered her things. Susan, the office manager, was looking for her and she didn’t want to talk about the tears she wanted to hide. Sera got out of the car and opened the back door, shuffling things around to buy time. “I’ll be right in, Susan!” She yelled. “My dad had a problem with one of the calfs this morning, so I got a late start!” She hated lying to Susan.

The woman was like a second mother to her, but sometimes white lies were easier than dealing with the truth. Sera heaved a sigh of relief when Susan waved and closed the door, leaving her to pull herself together. She knew she had to respond to Quinn’s email–not just for Quinn, but for herself. She knew she had waited long enough. If three years hadn’t lessened the pain surrounding her thoughts about Quinn, there was no point in ignoring her any longer. She deal with it tonight.

Distracting herself with work was a success. Sera had a few surgeries to keep her mind occupied in the morning, but now, back in her office a few minutes before lunch, she heard a faint tap at her door.

Looking up she saw Jaq holding a bag of take out and a warm smile. “Hey you, can I come in?” Jaq asked. ”Who’d you blow to get you here and don’t say my dad. Ooo and is that Antonio’s?” Sera asked, referring to the bag of food. “That stable boy John, and a wink was all it took. Of course it’s Antonio’s. What do you take me for?” Jaq said, slipping into the chair opposite Sera’s. Sera leaned back and sighed loudly, rubbing her hands over her face. “So, how are you?” Jaq kept her eyes on Sera while she separated and opened the food, sliding a steaming plate of lasagna over in front of her friend. “Shocked.” Jaq nodded. “I bet. Me, too.” She twirled a forkfull of noodles. “Are you going to respond? I think you should.” This time, it was Sera’s turn to nod. “Good!” Jaq exclaimed, reaching into another bag, bringing out a bottle of red wine. “I was hoping you’d see things my way, so I brought your favorite inhibition reducer.” Sera smiled for the first time since she first read Quinn’s email that morning. “I love you, Jaq.” “I know you do. I love you, too. Now hurry up and eat. You’ve got to drive me back to work,” Jaq added, flashing a killer smile.

The whole drive home Sera thought about what she would say to Quinn. Why did it always seem so easy to think of what you want to say until it was time to actually say it? Moscato in hand, Sera headed into the house on a mission. She grabbed a wine glass, fired up her laptop and let the dogs out, determined not to lose her courage. She had chickened out all those years ago and ended things with Quinn. And it was Quinn who’d reached out here and there since then. Now it was time to step up and face the guilt.

Once the dogs were in and fed, she gave each of them some love and then tossed them all a bone before she curled up on the couch, downing an entire glass of wine. She brought up her email and re-read Quinn’s words, well into her second glass of wine. ‘…halfway around the world…’ The line stuck out this time around. Sera had heard, through friends, that about a year after they had ended things, Quinn joined the Army. But at the time, much like everything else she did with things involving Quinn, she blocked it out and only now began to realize what that meant. She must be deployed. Was she safe? When would she come home? Would she come home?

Sera’s mind reeled at the last thought. What if something happened to Quinn before she got to see her again? What if something happened before Quinn knew how she felt? With the possibilities of things she didn’t want to imagine swirling in her mind, Sera finished her glass and started typing.

#A Dogged Love #Sahm Moore #Seraphin #Quinn #Military working dog #Fiction #Stories #Writing #Romaction #Read Sahm Moore

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surveys-at-your-service · 8 years ago

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Survey #64

“i won’t let you say goodbye, and i’ll be your reason why.”

do you believe in climate change? yes like damn i know i'm conservative but i'm not stupid. what is the first thing you do when you get on the computer? check facebook. do you sing in the shower? VERY rarely. what do people most pick on you about? the fact i'm always on the computer. you get one full day with the one you love. what would you do? omg... to do anything? and does he love me again? i'm assuming that's the only way he'd hang out with me, so... but anyway. i'm pretty sure the whole day would be a mix of making out, making love (yes i'm fucking old i actually say that term), and catching up with one another. if you could dye your hair one color, what would it be? gray. mom won't let me. would you ever try fear factor for one million dollars? why or why not? try it? sure, because that's a lot of money. i highly doubt i'd get far, though. if you have a camera, when do you use flash? almost never. do you look better with red lipstick or black lipstick? i personally like myself more with black. the last person you talked to on the phone and the last person you held hands with are in a burning building and you can only save one; who? mom or best friend? i'm saving my mom. do you remember who the first person you ever had a sleepover with was? most likely, brianna. when was the last time you were in a hot tub? years ago, when i lived with jason in the apartment. they had a hot tub. do you ever watch films and rip them apart for their inaccuracies? YYYYYUP. i got very bad at doing that after binge-watching cinemasins stuff with j. what's your favorite tree? weeping willow describe the darker side to your personality. i can apparently be murderously jealous. my words can be fucking blades on rare occasions. i'm very impatient with most things. i'm a pessimist. what, without fail, makes you cry? talking about jason. have you ever seen a shooting star? i think so. i've also seen a star explode. favorite forest animal? deer. if you’ve stayed overnight in a hospital, how did you entertain yourself? it's literally impossible to entertain yourself there. each time, i could only try to sleep... what's something you should be sorry about, but aren't? idk, really. i'm pretty much sorrow for any wrong i've done that i can think of... how do you feel when it's your birthday? i guess i kinda feel special. for once. will you cry at your wedding? OH GOD YEAH you get arrested, what for? i feel the most likely crime i'd commit punishable by arrest would be attacking ashley. do you like the song crush by david archuleta? DO YOU CATCH YOUR BREATH, WHEN I'M HERE WITH YOU? ARE YOU HOLDIN' BACK, LIKE THE WAY I DOOOO? have you ever had a dream where you could understand a foreign language? i have not. do you know anyone who has road rage? jason's mom. BAD. she's a fucking savage italian new yorker lmao. have you ever had a particularly disturbing dream? about? i've dreamt of being raped by someone i know; i woke up sobbing. i'm most certain i've had more, i just can't think of any. would you ever consider getting an abortion, under any circumstances? NO. UNLESS it's considered an "abortion" when you end an ectopic pregnancy. i don't think it is, but if it is, i mean, they're kinda necessary...? what do you think of people who get abortions? i feel an immense amount of pity for them. do you ever argue or debate with people about your beliefs? not so much anymore, but occasionally, yes. when was the last time you felt turned on? some time ago, not sure... thinking too much about someone... would you rather suffer from anorexia or bulimia? what the fuck? neither! they're both terrible illnesses! do you think it’s okay for a survey to ask if you’ve been raped? why? ... good question. like, it could REALLY trigger somebody, but at the same time, surveys are sorta supposed to ask lots of questions...? do people say you have an accent? i definitely had an accent when i was younger, but i barely have one anymore. when i say certain words, you can occasionally detect that i'm from the south. a guy is beginning to treat you like a total booty call. what do you do? ... i'd tolerate it, probably, if it was jason, because i'm that fucking pathetically desperate for his attention. anyone else? ha. fuck you, dude. do you still have pictures of you & your ex? i still have every picture we've ever taken together. ripriprip have you ever been into a real cave? no, i wish! what is something you and your significant other do that may seem weird to others? i don't have a s.o., so can i talk about my "crush" because i love talking about him/find it therapeutic to talk about him so much?? okay! honestly, he's just weird all around, and i love it. perhaps the thing he does that most people would consider odd though is play "magic: the gathering," a card game pretty popular amongst people like geeks. it's pointlessly ridiculed a lot. how long have you liked the person you like right now? five years... who was the last person to be mad at you? colleen. pretty sure she hates me by now. when was the last time you had sex? never. i'm a virgin. are you going to anytime soon? anytime soon, almost certainly not. i won't until i'm either with jason again or married. name all the people that you talked to today. online, through texts, and in person. colleen and jax. do you know anyone who self-harms? anyone who does it currently? no, thank heavens. what are your parents’ names and what do they do for a living? donna (pharmacy worker, home care provider) and ken (mailman) do you know a schizophrenic person? i have a half-sister who's schizophrenic, but i've never met her. i also met schizophrenics at the mental hospital, but wouldn't say i "know" them. did you ever watch sailor moon? if so, who is your favorite? omg yes!! i don't recall who my favorite was... i know i really liked the two cats, though. have you seen the game show “baggage”? i have. i really dislike jerry springer, but i enjoyed the show solely because i liked seeing the weird facts about people. there was some whacky shit. name the last 3 people you kissed and list one nice thing about each one. i've only ever kissed jason, and he's very creative. when was the last time you felt EXTREMELY depressed? why is that? i am a clinically depressed person; it's different from just being depressed. i am, literally, always depressed, but yes, the intensity varies. the last time it was super bad was last night, because my best friend in the whole universe was being a shallow-minded bitch. would you ever dye your hair pink? the whole thing, just pink? no, unless i was being paid, hm, maybe like at least $50. what is your favorite type of muffin? chocolate chip. what is the last type of salad that you ate? who even knows. i don't like salad much. what do you usually put on your waffles? peanut butter and syrup do you ever stop and look up at the sky? i have a massive appreciation for natural beauty, so definitely. would you rather be a successful writer or artist? artist. do you have any best friends that you only know online? not anymore. i've had two people i consider to be former best friends that i knew purely online: megan and minuette/mini. i evicted megan from my life for lying obsessively to me and mini just kinda... stopped talking to me. we talk what, maybe three times in a full year? i still love her to death, i just don't think she likes me. i have multiple friends i know only online, but i wouldn't consider any as my "best" friend. have you ever gotten into a physical fight? i have not. got real fucking close though when rachel decided it was cool to snatch me by the shoulder and pull me down to her level. bitch. is it okay for people to cheat if it’s only online? fuck that! cheating is cheating! do you pretend to be something you’re not to make friends? i guess... kinda. not much, but kinda. when i'm first getting to know you, i'll admit to my depression, yeah, but i try to act like i'm in control of my disease when i'm really not. i try to act like my illnesses haven't beat me down into the ground. i try to act stronger. do you always respond to chain letters? nope, i don't care who it's from. if you could, would you want to stay young forever? if i could live forever at like... 23, yeah, i'd do that. when is your birthday? february 5th!! c: what is one word that you can’t stand? "the c word," used to refer to a certain body part of a woman. i don't really like "the p word" that refers to the same thing, too. did you believe in santa claus as a kid? of course! the only person i've ever met that HASN'T is jason. i feel so bad for him knowing he didn't... it was so magical as a child. :< have you ever been drunk? i've been mildly drunk, yes. do you like french toast? hell yeah! are you good at bowling? lmao nope. when is your father’s birthday? sometime in april... are you interested in anime? sure, yeah. i like some. are you part german? that's a good part of my heritage, yes. do you wear lipgloss? no, i use lipstick. do you dream of being a porn star? uh. no. do you play guitar? not anymore, no. i took some classes my freshman year of high school i think, or maybe it was my last in middle school, but it was difficult. i mean my teacher said i was learning pretty quick, but i could mess myself up easily. i truly do believe the guitar is a very hard instrument to learn. i also had a hard time feeling enpassioned to even play... do you have a niece or nephew? i have a good number of "half" nieces and nephews, but i have one of each that are immediately related to me. did you take geography at school? isn't it common core? so yeah. i enjoyed it. favorite fantasy creature? dragons!! how do you feel about people who get a sex change? ... i'm going to only say i'm very conservative on this matter. you can figure out the details. would you ever have a child with someone just to make them stay with you? NO. not even for jason. i would not put a child through so much misery. have you got any half or step siblings? i have four half-siblings. both my parents were involved with someone else before meeting each other. do you like kids’ movies? generally, yes, they tend to be very cute. now movies for like, young toddlers that do almost nothing but sing and break the fourth wall asking the audience to help and such, no. have you ever been to the beach? if so, tell me the name of the beach you last went to and when. i've been a number of times. i last went to a beach whose name i forget in north carolina last may. how often do you change your underwear? the answer is simple: just don't wear underwear. have you ever been to court for something other than a traffic ticket? i was at a court before, yes, but it wasn't the kind of hearing you're expecting. when i was in the mental hospital once, i believed they wanted to keep me longer than necessary (they wanted me there a full month), and some guy/lawyer/something visited the hospital checking up on all the patients, telling them about how we had the right to question our time in front of a judge at court. i wanted to, so i went, and it was honestly the scariest time of my life. we were cuffed at our arms and feet, and i had to go into a van with people far crazier than i to ride to the court. i honestly wondered if i was going to be attacked in that van. at the court, i had to muster up all strength imaginable to present my case to the judge, alone, to see if my time would be lessened. it was. i actually wrote a poem about this time in my life while i was at the hospital after this event. don’t you hate it when people suddenly love a celebrity when they die? yes, i do, because it's a shame people only seem to be important once they're gone. do you actually read privacy policies when signing up for new things? no, i don't. what do you usually order from mcdonald’s? mcdouble, fries, drink. i'm such an american. do you like to draw very detailed drawings, or just stick figures? as detailed as i dare. do you own a shirt that says “vote for pedro”? ha ha ha, no, i should! has anyone ever tried stealing your boyfriend/girlfriend away? yep. when i "dated" juan, which lasted less than 24 hours, rachel made up some bullshit that she had sex with him over the weekend and told me during lunch by flat-out mildly assaulting me. because i realized i believed he would do that, i broke up with him. i'm perfectly aware now that no, he did not have sex with rachel, she just lied so i'd break up with him. it was clear as day that she was very, very possessive over juan and would do anything to have him. honestly? i'm glad she made up that story, because i can't imagine a relationship with juan having gone well. in the end, they never ended up dating. then, i dated jason. you know when you change your relationship status on facebook, your friends are alerted? well. jason and rachel were "friends" on facebook because they're also exes. when he changed his status, oh, did she have shit to say riiight in public on his life event. i have no idea what was said, as when i asked jason what was said, he told me something like, "just stupid shit, so i laughed and deleted her." so she obviously wasn't happy about me dating her ex. too bad, slut. (: do you think you could have a relationship with the last person you texted? romantically, no. i'm not interested in women like that. what do you have in common with the last person you kissed? more like what don't we have in common. we were extremely similar. i guess i can list one thing though, and that'd be that we were both gamers. can you whistle? i'm not good at it, but yeah. if you had a child at the age you’re at now, do you think you’d be a good parent? it's not my age i'm worried about, it's my mental state. i doubt i would be. what's the heaviest song you actually enjoy? i mean, how do you personally define "heavy?" Heavy as in emotional, or heavy as in bassy? emotionally heavy, uhhh, "hurt" by johnny cash, i guess. heaviest in the guitar sense, if i understand what you're asking, would TOTALLY be "here to stay" by korn. the sound and depth of that guitar riff slays. have you ever shared a shower or bath with someone as an adult? no, and i don't find it to be ideal. are you bitter about anything? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA- is there anything in your possession that probably shouldn’t be? i don't think so. do you listen to music to fall asleep? maybe like only a couple times a year. i have to feel like it'll help. do you use emojis? i do sometimes. not nearly as much as i did when i was younger, though. i only do if i feel like it truly enhances the sentence/clarifies my tone of "voice." who's the last person you talked to about sex? jax. i'm asking her advice on something. does the sight of blood make you feel sick? it doesn't. how do you feel about dreads on women? the same way i feel about dreads on men: if they're well-taken care of, they're fine. would you date someone three years younger than you? nope. by society's standards, are you attractive? no, because i'm fat. would you let your kid smoke weed? if they want their asses whooped. are you a good artist? i mean... i'm decent, i guess? are you a tease? i've seen this question a lot lately but i've never given a direct answer lmao??? anyway, honestly, hell yes. the only person i've ever been serious with had a love/hate relationship with it in the sense it was sexually frustrating but was evidently also a turn-on, so. i don't plan on changing that. what do you think of people who save it for marriage? very good for you. i honestly think that's great and borderline magical knowing you'd wait for someone until your marriage night, odds are. but after 21 years of believing so, i don't think it's for me. have you ever had a one-night stand? nope. has someone ever pressured you into doing something you didn’t want to do? well... kinda. i both did and didn't want to do something. would you date someone who was addicted to drugs? hell naw. how long should people be together before they propose? i don't really judge that by time, but rather the sincerity of the connection you've established. in general though, i'd wait like three years. what about a song can get you to love it instantly? what can make you dislike a song right off the bat? omg give me a good, heavy riff!! i won't automatically dislike the song, per se, but i'd probably stop listening to it if the quality's bad. when making a big decision do you tend to make it on your own or ask for advice from others? i ask for my friends' advice. if your car broke down would you call a friend or family member to pick you up or would you call aaa (or something like it)? errr. depends on the problem, i guess. do you like it when other survey takers post pictures in their answers? how often do you post pictures in surveys to accompany an answer? i do like it, because it gives you a more in-depth peek into their lives. (: i only ever do it if the question asks me to or if it's too good an opportunity to pass up. do you think that deep down, everyone is good at heart? no, i don't believe that. how many people have you kissed? one romantically, one semi-romantically on the cheek. are most silences awkward for you? FUCK MAN YES. do you think some people are better than others? if so, why? as far as your worth goes, no. we are all equal under god, and even if you're not religious, well, we're all equal in the same skin. but when it comes to morals and such, let's face it, some people just are?? ex., i firmly believe someone like mother teressa is at least 50 times "better" than a rapist??? did you ever see the movie good burger when it came out? not when it came out, but i've seen it and love it! it's so funny! are you easily angered? i'm honestly not, just so many things have been happening lately that are capable of pissing me off... what's your sexual preference? i like dick. name a song you've really been digging lately. i've been into a good number lately, but i'm really digging "this is gospel" by panic! at the disco. do you ever delete questions from surveys? yes, i do. i don't generally answer questions that i've answered a thousand times, are common sense ("have you ever missed somebody?" bitch i'm human what you think), or are just flat-out boring. i hope it makes my surveys more fun to read, and they're also more enjoyable to do. have you always had a core group of friends, or have your friends come and gone throughout the years? what’s your situation like now with friends – do you have a set of people you can depend on over others, or do you find the older you’ve gotten, the more people have drifted apart? throughout my whole life, i've definitely not had one solid group of friends. they've come and gone. now as i'm older, i have less friends, but they're more solid. do you believe that there is such a thing as unconditional love? assuming you loved someone with all your heart and did not want to lose them, would there be any “condition” that might force you to reconsider your feelings? i know good and well it exists because i feel it for jason. i don't claim it to be a good thing, though. like if he did do something very, very stupid... i feel like i'd still be there to tell him i love him. i also have unconditional love for my pets. when was the last time you caused somewhat of a scene in front of others? were you embarrassed, or did anyone say anything to you about it? or, have you ever witnessed someone else (such as an intoxicated person) do something in front of others that was extremely embarrassing or inappropriate? i can't remember the last time i caused a scene, but yeah, i've seen plenty of people do stupid shit. do you enjoy driving? if you were to take a road trip and were asked to be either the driver, the front passenger, or a backseat passenger, which would you prefer? NO. i panic terribly. if we were taking a roadtrip, i like shotgun. have you ever donated blood? is this something you’d be interested in doing? do you know what blood type you are? i did in high school, but i don't think i'll do it again because it was SUCH an anxiety-inducing span of time. my blood type is a, like my dad. have you ever struggled with your weight or experienced an eating disorder? do you think that others’ opinions have had a negative impact on your perception of your own size? how is your body image these days? eeek. i'm overweight. i was perfectly healthy until jason left me; to try to fill the emptiness i felt, i ate like a mindless zombie, and it never worked. ... i've gained 100 pounds since he left. fucking embarrassing. society's opinion of big people has definitely controlled how i view my body, and my body image is horrid. i despise how i look. have you ever yelled at or berated a person who provided you with terrible customer service? has someone ever done this to you while you were working? do you think there is ever a case where this is justified? i have not, but i have been very passive-aggressively. it involved how the cash register cannot be opened without ringing up an item. pretty sure an old man wanted to kill me once. i was still in training... i nearly puked from the anxiety. and i mean i understand it had to be a little bit annoying, but damn, no need to look at me like i killed your firstborn child. do you think being diagnosed with being a sex addict is actually a real excuse? excuse for what, though? it really depends. i mean if you claim you raped someone because of a sex addiction, uh no, that's not an excuse. do you feel like an idiot every time you step into hot topic? ... the fuck? no??? some people, myself included, just find their style aesthetically pleasing??? what do you think about like 3oh!3 and hollywood undead? i only like like two songs by 3oh!3, and hollywood undead's okay. how many people of your preferred sex have told you that they loved you? how many do you think actually meant it? two, i think, and i believe only one meant it. when was the last time someone called you “gorgeous”? probably when i was ready for my senior prom. i was so beautiful then. if you needed advice about sex/contraception, who would you be most likely to go to? my mom when wrapping up gifts, do you ever leave the price tags on? no, i don't. just doesn't seem right somehow. you’re watching tv with your parents and a sex scene comes on. what do you do? probably try to make a funny comment while feeling quite embarrassed inside. is it possible to be ‘in love’ with someone, if they don’t love you back? of course it is. were you the girl who always looked at failed relationships and said, “that’s never going to happen to me”? yes and no. i wanted to avoid dating in high school for just that reason, because i knew most failed. but i also thought i'd be a smart enough person to do my part in solving any problem my s.o. and i would have. but he's gotta meet me halfway, turns out. do you sleep in t-shirts? no, i sleep in tank tops and camis. are you a fan of adam sandler? he's rather funny, yeah. do you keep magazines by your toilet? nah. did the one person who hurt you the most in your life apologize? he said, "i'm sorry how things worked out." "worked out" my ass. i genuinely don't believe he meant it. ever call your boyfriend 'daddy'? OH MY FUCK NO PLS STOP THIS TREND what’s something you need to go shopping for? tank topssss do/did you do good in school? all the way from elementary through high school, yeah. i crashed and burned in college. do you write? well, i'm a forum rper, so i do creative writing any time i do that. i'll write a poem every now and again. what’s your zodiac sign? aquarius.

#survey #quiz #questions #asks #answered

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tamersmile888 · 4 years ago

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Life Is Strange 2: The Sims 4 Challenge Behind The Sims Lot 4

Sean created the painting for this title card after I decided on the title of this Lot...Thank You Lord for being so wonderful, awesome and brilliant. The joy!

After playing this lot, I am firmly team Sean and June. (Jean? Sune? SJ...? We'll work on it. Many of you may be Team Sean and Lyla or Syla, which sounds pretty impressive and I secretly love it, but shall discuss all of this. And we have much to discuss.

But first, let's talk about my sweet, beautiful baby boy Jagger. I was so nervous when this idea came to me. I didn't want to do it. I wasn't going to do it. I didn't want to do or say something that would disrespect people who are actually deaf. I don't personally know anyone who's deaf, so I had to do research to make sure I was even addressing them the way they'd prefer to be addressed.

I guess it all started with The Walking Dead. Connie and Kelly, and the actresses who play them have become my favorite characters in the show. They're so strong and inspiring. One line that really stuck to me was when Connie signed that being deaf is their superpower. This inspired me to learn ASL . Why not make the effert to communicate with someone who's different than you. I think it's important.

I even got a notification from Square Enix about their mission of making games accessible for all players. I will leave a link to their accessibility website along with other helpful resources I've found at the end of this blog.

I didn't know how to make Jagger communicate because I wanted to be respectful. So, I allowed him to express himself through music.

Sean is obviously showing off for June. Or pretending to take a selfie while checking her out in the camera. It's not weird. It's cute.

I love Jagger and June's bedrooms so much. They are available on the gallery if you want to play around in them. Here Jagger is taking a nap, shoes and all, after a long day of hard school works...

....while June stares out the window, stoic as her puffy unicorn. What do you see June? Could it be? It just might. But we'll get to that later. It's pretty spooky...

Let me introduce you to the School Crew: Clockwise we have Sean of course, then there's Jagger. (He was sitting at the table but then he got up and left. But there is a side story that happened off camera that I'll get into in a sec.) Then...wait for it...It's Cesar Diaz from On My Block! I got him from off the gallery and made a few changes (I'm also doing an On My Block challenge you can look out for if you wanna) and when he and Sean met each other I fangirled so hard. This is a dream come true. Only in the Sims can Sean Diaz and Cesar Diaz become best friends and best men at each other's weddings. I'm just putting it out there. Also, I will overlook the fact that I am just now realizing they have the same last name. Destiny!

Next to cutie pie Cesar is Asher from another story I've hit pause on since this challenge called "Acing It With Asher." You can check it out on my twitter page. It's incomplete right now, but I will try to finish it sometime in the future. In the back there all alone is Cassandra Goth. Who we shall get back to in a moment.

Then there's Holly from my Disney Z-O-M-B-I-E-S CAS also on the gallery. She's telling creepy stories about zombies and werewolves probably. Next to her is Shantiya who I found on the gallery, who I also made some changes too. While I was checking out the new MAC makeup in CAS and trying it on her, I found this super cute workout attire that I fell in love with but have no idea where it came from cause I'm pretty sure it wasn't there before. It's from one of the career rewards I think, but I just don't know which one. I also played around with the helmets that were added with the Eco Lifestyle update. She looked like she was on a roller derby team and I thought it was super fun. But then I forgot to change her out of it for this story so she ended up coming to school like this, and I wrote it in because it was kind of funny.

Finally, there is June looking fresh in her bowler hat, sweater and green lipstick. I had so much fun dressing June. She's so chill and cool. Also one of my favorite sims of all the times.

Little did you know, there was a jam session happening behind the scenes. However, Sean is not a musician, therefore it made not a lick of sense so I left it out.

This cutesy pie was driving me a little crazy. I needed a sad face because he was going to video chat with Sean in the last Lot about how his foster parents wanted to adopt him and how they didn't want him to talk to Sean anymore. However, he was in an endless good mood so I just left him be. Also, when I was taking these pictures I was cracking up about how close his face was to the screen. All up in my face. Not only do babies do it. Cats do it too. Confirmed. (Shameless plug for my Teddy: https://www.instagram.com/lil_smokethecat/)

Remember that secret story playing in the background? Here we have a very uncomfortable Jagger being annoyed by a bombarding Cassandra Goth. You missed the entire exchange at school where she got up from her table to go talk to him. For a moment they just stood there in silence, Jagger's anxiety level escalating because he has the Loner trait...and then Cassandra just walks away like nothing happened. Awkward yes. But at least she had the guts to do something. Maybe next time?

Yes! She strikes again, managing to get Jagger all alone in June's bedroom while the rest of the crew remain downstairs respecting the Fontenot's privacy behind the boundary of the staircase. Cassandra invites herself in to have a chat with Jagger who was probably writing jokes on June's laptop because it's his thing. But now Cassandra has ruined it and he is no longer in a comedic mood. It's all about reading the room Cassandra. Quite frankly, Jagger would just like to be left alone.

But Cassandra was not the only uninvited guest...

Allow me to introduce Mozley Livingston. The neighborhood zombie. Just creep creeping about Willow Creek in the dark of night with his loud pink pants. The weird thing is, I only ever saw him at night.

The moon ominously hangs in the sky above him. Calling out to other creepers lurking through the streets....

This is Dakota Skye, werewolf and leader of her pack. The whole Z-O-M-B-I-E's crew is taking over Willow Creek. Why should she be left out of the party? So cool and fierce, and she knows. it.

Jagger just relaxing in the pool. He was very tired that day and this was him getting his energy back up. Sorry Jag!

Double Diaz hanging out at the beach together with their new friend Ray, also from "Acing It With Asher." Cesar didn't stay too long. I'm pretty sure he bounced after this picture was taken.

I really liked this photo. They look so royal and majestic. The princess and prince of Oasis Beach.

Look at how he's looking at her. I'm telling you. These two are destined to be together. There’s shimmering and everything.

This was supposed to be my big reveal of Sean's new look. It's like, "Oooh, who's that...?Is it Sean? No way it's Sean." Then he turns around and....

"Hey, guys!"

Sean, no...You were supposed to be all brooding and what not. We talked about this. You're mind is burning overtime as you're trying to earn enough money to get out of town and reunite with Daniel. This look? This was not in the script.

So I made him stand by the window and sip because it fit the mood better. Sipping and pondering life. So serious.

Because Jagger is so cute. That jacket looks great on him.

Again, whenever June's around, Sean likes to show off. And she's never paying him any mind. Sean, you're going to have to work harder than that. Especially since she is your future wife and all.

Before June came around, it was all about Lyla. Jen who? (Also, I know Jen in the game is actually spelled Jenn, but I found that out too late so...It's Jen, and not Jenn. Two completely different people.) Lyla was supposed to be the one for Sean. They're best friends and she would have stuck with him through thick and thin and all the in betweens. But Lyla...she had something else in mind.

Exhibit A:

That's right. Lyla was in town and she never even bothered to stop by. (I mean, even if she did I wouldn't have allowed her to see Sean because they're supposed to be separated for the majority of this story for the big reunion. ) She's just hanging out with some random guy...OR is it. Let's get a little closer shall we?

EXPOSED. EXPOSED. EXPOSED!

Lyla has been sneaking around Sean's back with Abraham. The guy who basically got Sean and Daniel kicked out of his house. The one place they could find shelter, beds, showers, and music videos. And she looks like she's actually enjoying his company. Come on Lyla. Really? But I'm not going to pretend as if I'm not liking this scenario because let's just think about it. Lyla is kind of sassy and witty. Abraham is filled to the brim with sarcasm. I think they're kind of perfect together. Which is why I'm not even mad. Do you Lyla. Enjoy.

Meanwhile, June and Sean jammed out at the neighborhood yard sale. I was going to have Sean sell his art at the yard sale, but it felt like the story was getting too broad, so I left it out. All buyers must go through Michele. Clients only. We are professionals here. But I did like the idea of Sean and June spending more time together.

And falling in love...

I used the picture of Jagger because it kind of looked like he was signing a D, for Daniel. I thought it was a nice touch. Again, I wanted to be respectful and only use gestures that looked like real ASL.

I'm just saying...

Conclusion:

This challenge started off a lot simpler. All you had to do was reach level 10 in painting and sell your paintings for 5 thousand simoleons to buy Korbin's car. Except, I realized that Sean was going to need to purchase the abandoned lot for the next Lot challenge. And 5 thousand turned into 18,308. Because I didn't want to use cheats to decrease the Fontenot's household funds to 0, I added up every single price of every single painting. Since I enjoy math, it was actually pretty fun for me.

The most difficult part of this challenge was just the time it took to reach level 10. At first it took a while, but I found a work around. Every time Sean would get the Confident moodlet or any moodlet that would subdue his low energy for a few hours, I'd use that time to get a few paintings in. Which I made copies of and put in his inventory because I am a hoarder of a mother and could not let go of my baby boy's fine masterpieces. I'm thinking about putting some of them on display in a very special place that I am excited to start working on... God Bless! Love, Charly

LINKS

Square Enix Accessibility Website: https://square-enix-games.com/en_US/news/square-enix-accessibility

AbleGamers Website: https://ablegamers.org/

Ubisoft's Mission: https://www.dualshockers.com/ubisoft-accessibility-features-games-exclusive/

Free ASL Lessons: https://www.startasl.com/learn-sign-language-asl

https://www.lifeprint.com/

INSPIRATIONAL STORIES:

https://www.buzzfeednews.com/article/banjo/i-was-a-deaf-musician https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dwqSuvFzDdI https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D_7RrfYtNa4

#LifeIsStrange2TheSims4Challenge #LifeIsStrange2 #TheSims4 #tamersmile

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solemnrosary · 5 years ago

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You know what? I’m bored and I want to pretend that I’m vaguely interesting. So without further ado; 65 Questions!

Do you ever doubt the existence of others than you? - Nah, I doubt my own existence and meaning the most. I have no reason to doubt anyone else’s existence, because I sure as hell couldn’t make such lovely cheery things.

On a scale of 1-5, how afraid of the dark are you? - 2, because I can’t see. I have terrible night-vision that takes ages to jostle on. So I end up navigating by visual and spacial memory if I need to walk around. Because I have my own system for storing items and leaving them about, I end up remembering my surroundings very well.

The person you would never want to meet? - Anyone who doesn’t meet my basic moral requirements.

What is your favorite word? - In French, it’d be argent, since silver is pretty and I love how it’s pronounced. In English, plethora, for similar reasons. Finnish is harder to pick.. hmmmh, hurma?

If you were a type of tree, what would you be? - what is known here as “The silver willow”, which is a variation of the white willow (salix alba), that has silvery bluish sheen to it’s leaves and a darker tree trunk. Salix alba var. sericea 'Sibirica'. Sometimes 'Argentea' ja 'Sericea' are also considered to be of the same variation. If I was a flower, I think I’d like to be the Eden climbing rose or a marigold.

When you looked in the mirror this morning what was the first thing you thought? - my face is bloated again, I guess the meds didn’t absorb properly.

What shirt are you wearing? - dark blue men’s print shirt that doubles as a pyjama

What do you label yourself as? - Agender, nonbinary, trans, bi and a problem.

Bright room or dark room? - dim room.

What were you doing at midnight last night? - myself

Favorite age you’ve been so far? - the now. I moved into another city away from my family, closer to my dear friend, so- it’s a whole lot better. Emotional turbulence is easing a little too.

Who told you they loved you last? - ... my emotionally abusive family.

Your worst enemy? - myself and the bigoted society.

What is your current desktop picture? - a cat skull I painted myself.

Do you like someone? - I do, I like many people. My friends, my brothers and grandma.

The last song you listened to? - I love you by Woodkid. It’s a mood.

You can press a button that will make any one person explode. Who would you blow up? - dorito.

Who would you really like to just punch in the face? - I’d rather not damage my hands.

If anyone could be your slave for a day, who would it be and what would they have to do? - That sounds absolutely dreadful, no I don’t want to have anyone do anything they do not wish to do. It’s about consent, not-consenting is not funny or desirable to me in any way. Now if you were to give me a butler, who has personal agency to say no and, perhaps, a snarky attitude- I really would love to be pampered a little. just- being held and taken care of would be nice. It doesn’t have to be anything non-platonic but I wouldn’t mind if it was? Gentle snark, reassurance, maybe a massage, please.

What is your best physical attribute? (showing said attribute is optional) - Strong legs? I suppose my butt’s nice too. I like the curve of my back? Hands and eyes? it’s a very subjective question for someone who doesn’t like themselves.

If you were the opposite sex for one day, what would you look like and what would you do? - find a way not to change back, thank you! finally, the correct bits. Don’t mind if I do.

Do you have a secret talent? If yes, what is it? - I can’t.. think of any? Nothing that’d be a secret anyway. Unless walking so quietly that I startle people sometimes counts? I don’t do that on purpose, though. Being so oblivious to something I end up bypassing it’s complications by sheer force of will?

What is one unique thing you’re afraid of? - I’m usually not afraid of any tangible things, only general things like pain and being abandoned by the people I love. Or never being accepted and loved in general. I’ve been working through haphephobia for years, but specifically; I’m afraid that my fear of touch will smear itself onto the relationships I feel the most comfortable and myself in. I can’t help flinching, it’s still instinctual, and I can’t tolerate a whole lot of contact from most people- but the longer I go without any contact, the more I fear that next time it’ll burn again. I almost regret telling my friends that I have haphephobia, because instead of asking if I’m okay with something, now I’m just- deprived of contact all together. It’s fairly hard to teach the brain that something is normal and okay when it’s never there at all.

You can only have one kind of sandwich. Every sandwich ingredient known to humankind is at your disposal. - OH- definitely begin with some kickass, fresh-baked oat loaf, one you’ve bought that morning. Slice it thick, because it’s soft and divine. As for fillings, I am torn between several types of fish. Gravlax is amazing in itself, but smoked salmon in mayo with diced cucumber, lemon juice, dill, green onion, maybe celery sounds superb. or tuna in tomato purée, with freshly diced chives and tiny bit of mayo to balance the tang, if you want a simpler filling. For salad bits; salad, cucumber, tomato, red onion, red bellpepper. Optionally, some bacon and mushroom salad (it’s made from home-salted mushrooms that have been de-salted once, with diced red onion, mayo, maybe dijon, and white pepper. I make the best damn mushroom salad) As for cheese, feta crumbs, mozzarella slices or a pan-crisp goat cheese button. For sauce, I prefer garlic or cucumber mayo, or even a yogurt sauce. on top, a slightly gooey fried egg seasoned with citron-pepper and chili (so that the yolk may graze all the goodness). If you wish to be decadent as hell, throw some diced garlic, butter and yellow onion onto a pan, crisp it, throw it on top of all and then throw some choice sauces on it. Even without the salmon filling, the bacon and mushroom salad with the rest makes for the best damn experience you could have whilst eating a sandwich.

You just found $100! How are you going to spend it? - Save half, buy food and something for my friend.

You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere in the world, but you have to leave immediately. Where are you going to go? - no thanks, all my goods are here. But Norway and Iceland would be nice one day.

An angel appears out of Heaven and offers you a lifetime supply of the alcoholic beverage of your choice. “Be brand-specific” it says. Man! What are you gonna say about that? Even if you don’t drink booze there’s something you can figure out… so what’s it gonna be? - uhhhhh, I don’t usually drink alcohol cause I can’t stand the taste. I’ve known to very rarely have a long-drink or a lemonade-esque thing though. So maybe Smirnoff ICE, If I was to drink it myself. Otherwise, rum or hard spirits like, a vodka of some kind, cause they are fairly versatile to use in emergencies, to bake with, or to gift.

You discover a beautiful island upon which you may build your own society. You make the rules. What is the first rule you put into place? - Be kind.

What is your favorite expletive? - Saatana or perkele. I am a finn after all.

Your house is on fire, holy shit! You have just enough time to run in there and grab ONE inanimate object. Don’t worry, your loved ones and pets have already made it out safely. So what’s the one thing you’re going to save from that blazing inferno? - computer. It is the most expensive one and it has all my art of info in it, so it’s very obvious. That or my important papers file.

You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be? - one would not be enough to erase the damage I suffer from today. I would erase being born, if given free choice.

You got kicked out of the country for being a time-traveling heathen who sleeps with celebrities and has super-powers. But check out this cool shit… you can move to anywhere else in the world! - I’d find a remote community in an area, have a cottage and just. I dunno, do art, bake and have a garden for fruits and cool projects. I’d make my own earthen oven. A big cast-iron pan.

The Celestial Gates Of Beyond have opened, much to your surprise because you didn’t think such a thing existed. Death appears. As it turns out, Death is actually a pretty cool entity, and happens to be in a fantastic mood. Death offers to return the friend/family-member/person/etc. of your choice to the living world. Who will you bring back? - Grandma. Her shitty husband bullied her in her last year while she was dying to breast cancer. I love her, and she deserved better.

What was your last dream about? - [Trigger warning, this gets extreme] I was belly-down on the ground, grabbed by the throat from behind. I wrangled one hand off, but every time I managed to get both, one of those hands would slip my grasp and choke me again. I barely got a single breath between. This went on and on and on. I cried for help and reached out, only for someone to grab my hand in disdain, saying something like ‘tsh, fine. Cry then.’ They held my hand in a way that their nails dug into that hand. I no longer had both hands to pry the assaulter’s hands away. I slowly choked to death. I woke up and hand to claw at my own hand just to breathe through my panic. I felt those hands on my throat for days. This is, unfortunately, normal for me.

Are you a good….[insert anything you’d like here]? - No.

Have you ever been admitted to the hospital? - I have an autoimmune condition that has hospitalized and nearly killed me on several occasions. So yes. I take that in strides.

Have you ever built a snowman? - Yes, with my brothers. It was nice.

What is the color of your socks? - Black, always

What type of music do you like? - Anything between rock, pop, folk and classical. Violin music in particular.

Do you prefer sunrises or sunsets? - Both are nice

What is your favorite milkshake flavor? - chocolate or blueberry

What football team do you support? - I don’t watch football

Do you have any scars? - Yes. Stretch marks, old wounds, new wounds. I have a scar behind my left ear that if you were to touch it, you’d notice it has a split beneath it on the skull from how hard it was hit. I fell on a radiator edge when I was younger and almost lost my ear from it, got three stitches. I also have a scar below from a biking accident, couldn’t sit for a few weeks.

What do you want to be when you graduate? - Already did, and the answer is odd jobs and nothing, apparently.

If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be? - torn between ‘existence’ and ‘bodily gender’

Are you reliable? - Yes and no. I will keep any secret and help out whenever I can but would I trust myself to handle anything I care about? No.

If you could ask your future self one question, what would it be? - Does it get better?

Do you hold grudges? - I do not forget, but I do not dwell.

If you could breed two animals together to defy the laws of nature, what new animal would you create? - A cat and a duck. The ultimate bastard.

What is the most unusual conversation you’ve ever had? - the one where a stalker told me they’d dug every information they could find for two weeks before talking to me. They asked for my home address in 30 different ways, apparently hoping I’d forget I’d said no. They proceeded to hand me a yaoi manga as a souvenir from a con. I felt vaguely threatened.

Are you a good liar? - hmm. I try not to lie, If I don’t want to answer I’ll dodge or say I don’t want to answer. But, I suppose I am, for being able to hide half the things that I’ve been able to.

How long could you go without talking? - I begin talking out loud to fill out soundless spaces, so not a whole lot.

What has been you worst haircut/style? - ‘I want to speak to the manager’ and ‘little timmy is the best soccer player in his class’

Have you ever baked your own cake? - I baked most of everything back at my parents, so yes.

Can you do any accents other than your own? - funny ones, mostly

What do you like on your toast? - spread, ham, cheese, tomato, cucumber, aromasalt, fried egg - spread, liver patée, cucumber and aromasalt/pickles - spread, gravlax/tuna/salmon - spread, boiled egg slices, pickled herring (they come in jars, I prefer onion ones) in thinner slices, I add extra dill into the jars when I open them so they can marinate more.

What is the last thing you drew a picture of? - currently working on a personal WIP

What would be you dream car? - A car that someone else drives. With air conditioning.

Do you sing in the shower? Or do anything unusual in the shower? Explain. - no and no. I shower and then I’m done. I don’t like my voice, nor my body, nor wasting water. I do wash thoroughly though.

Do you believe in aliens? - It doesn’t interest me at all whether or not there is or isn’t.

Do you often read your horoscope? - only if it’s the only thing left to read or if it’s just readily visible without me looking for it. I think they’re bogus, but sometimes admittedly silly.

What is your favorite letter of the alphabet? - H or lowercase T, because I write them very loopy.

Which is cooler: dinosaurs or dragons? - They’re both cool in their own ways. A dinosaur is way bigger but as fantasy creatures dragons can fly, breathe elements and shape-shift though, hard to top that.

What do you think about babies? - Ew.

Tell something of your choice - If I had a cat, I’d name it Mishka or Meowkolash or Umi (sa, umineko ga inai to, “Umi” neko ga onaka ga suite iru) because I’m a nerd who loves umineko and bad jokes.

#solemn rambles #ask solemn #or solemn asks themselves

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