#& he always said he'll tell us if we do somethin wrong cause we won't learn if we don't know what it was
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kindacreepy-kindaugly · 2 years ago
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Splitting in all the fucking directions at once
#silk#idk what the fuck to do with myself#i still love him but. idk if i wanna go back after what he did#or i mean i do cause supposedly he's different now supposedly he's tryin to be better#but idk if that's just for doll. i used to be included in that but i guess not anymore#i just. don't understand why. was he just lashin out? was that some kinda fucked up indirect way of dumping me?#like goddamnit just fucking tell me if you don't want me anymore you don't havta hit me where you know it hurts the worst#if i ask the friends they're gonna tell me not to do it i know i know it's stupid but. i really do love him#even if i go a little crazy sometimes. i've never actually hurt him. not physically not with words#he's the one always tearin me apart in all the ways#idk if it was just a momentary thing or if he wanted to be rid of me#cause i'm too much of a temptation to go back to his old ways? you don't. you don't havta do any of that with me either#ya know i like the soft gentle stuff too it's just that you never wanna do that with me cause ya know you can get away with the rough stuff#cause i'm the only one of us that likes it#is he tryin to go exclusive even though he already knows doll doesn't mind if it's me?#why can't he just fucking tell me instead of doin shit to try n fuck me up#i wouldn't bother him anymore if he just told me he doesn't want me#now i'm just. i don't know what to do. is it a punishment? did i do somethin bad?#i know i had the knife on me again but like always it ended up in his hands so. can't have been that big of a deal#& he always said he'll tell us if we do somethin wrong cause we won't learn if we don't know what it was#it's some fucking mind game again but i don't know i don't understand even if he doesn't care about me like he does about doll#he could still use me as an outlet for the stuff doll doesn't like. i'm not askin for anythin more. just don't. don't fucking leave me.#it's all been for him always what the fuck am i supposed to do if he doesn't want me anymore#spdrvent
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urg1rlfri3nd · 1 year ago
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Aaron Z x Pregnant s/o hcs
First of all, how Z found out you were pregnant:
Aaron Z walked into your place after rehearsal. 
"Babe, I'm here," Z announced.
You came from the bathroom and looked kind of guilty.
"H-hey, baby. How was it?" You asked, trying to set him at ease with questions.
"Good. All the same." Z looked at you and noticed that you were hiding something behind your back. "What's that?"
You jumped a little bit and tried to figure out what to say. "Um…I'll tell you b-but...how about you sit down first?" 
Z looked at you confused. "Okay? Is somethin' wrong?" Z asked as he sat down on the couch. 
You stood in front of him. "Listen, you know how we…did it last night but we couldn't go to the pharmacy 'cause it was closed?"
Z automatically felt worried and got flustered. "Y-yeah?"
"W-well, I went today and got some pills but I also bought somethin' else just to check," You mentioned.
"W-what is it?" Z asked.
You took a deep breath and showed Z a positive pregnancy test. "I'm…pregnant."
Z grew silent. He stared into the abyss and you grew worried. 
"Z, baby, are you alright?" You asked while shaking him a little bit.
Z finally snapped out of it and looked at you. "Pregnant? Y-you can't be pregnant, how can we even have a baby because of the band? Are you sure that it's right?"
You nodded your head. "I took more than one." You sat down beside him. "We're gonna have a baby."
Z didn't know what to do or say. You two kinda just sat there in silence for a minute.
You finally broke the silence and sighed. "Babe, look, I know this is a lot considering that you have your career and band stuff to do…so if you wanna break up with me, you can. I won't judge," You said with disappointment.
Z was in fact terrified and didn't know what do, but as soon as he heard those words from you, he knew exactly what he wanted.
Z took your hand and held it, causing you a bit of shock. "Y/n, I know we never wanted any kids right now, and even though I'm scared, I would never leave you."
You looked at Z and saw that he was about to cry. Even though he was terrified himself, he made sure that you knew that you weren't alone. That made you sure that he would be a good father. 
"Thanks, baby." You looked at the pregnancy test again. "A baby, huh? That's gonna change things."
Z sniffled. "Yeah, but I'll make sure you're not alone. Promise."
Now onto the general headcanons:
After Z found out that you were pregnant, he was super protective of you. Z moved in with you some time after the day he found out about the pregnancy. 
Not letting you move around a lot, making sure that you eat, and always by you whenever he can be. 
Since Z has rehearsals and stuff to do with the band, you're often left alone at home which isn't a problem since you're used to it by now. 
Z makes sure to call you and stuff whenever he has to go on tour or out of town. 
Z will be worrying a lot about you and the baby's wellfare. The other members are a witness to this.
Speaking of the other members, they knew that you and Z were dating but they didn't know that you were pregnant. 
It took a lot of courage for you and Z to tell them but you guys did. They were very supportive and congratulated you both. The manager, however, was a bit disappointed because how was Z supposed to take care of a baby while on tour or busy with rehearsals? But the manager was supportive overall since babies weren't in the contract.
Since you are pregnant, Z will do anything to make sure that you are satisfied. 
Want to eat a specific food? He'll make it.
Want to watch a specific movie? He'll buy it for you.
Anything to make sure that you're okay and happy. Even if his wallet suffers from it.
Since you have pregnancy symptoms, Z learns how to deal with you. 
For example: one time you and Z were home together eating dinner. You were eating your fries and kept putting salt on them.
"Uh, babe, don't you think that's enough salt?" Z questioned.
"Why? It's my food so I can put as much salt as I want on there. Is there a problem?" You gave Z a death glare and he immediately knew how to answer.
"N-no."
After that he made sure never to question you and your food choices. 
Overall, Z is a great boyfriend to you while you're pregnant. Mostly because he loves you and got help from Jesse since he's a father of two.
On the day you went into labor, Z rushed to the hospital to be with you.  
Once he saw you on the hospital bed, he immediately gave you a hug. 
Z was disappointed for not being there for you when you went into labor but you were glad that he was there now.
You guys had a girl.
The second he held his daughter he broke into tears. Z knew at that moment that he would do whatever it took to protect you and his little one.
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