#wizardposting

[merchant-wizard-and-jerry]

[ *Tick, Tick, Tick.* ]

[ Well that sounds familiar. In the middle distance, the pale figure, that Chronomancer, is walking towards your shop. He carries the limp (and ragdolling) body of one notable Pickpocket. ]

[ He seems to skip forwards a bit, standing before you in less than a second, as if by teleportation. ]

Right. Did I overshoot this again, or is this after we had or conversation about this idiot?

[ He nudges the Half-elf. ]

( @pale-gear-mage and @local-pickpocket )

“Ya, you got it this time. Well it did happen after for me but still _____ should remember this time.”

“Ya Jerry I remember the first meeting, so chronomancer, you have the ring?”

[the-gnomish-bastard]

I’m going to build a goblin railgun.

[thankyouforthefunny]

I want to be him when I grow up

[wizard-tips]

Wizard Tip #23: The “S” In Sorcerer Stands For Smoochable

[gavamont]

Found a skeleton in an hourglass at a wizard pawn shop. Shopkeeper claimed it was like that when he got it, but I know I saw a plea for help written in the sand when I first looked at it.

Shopkeeper probably shook the hourglass to eliminate the evidence, but he also offered that I can buy it for just 10 gold coins if I take it now and stop asking questions. It looked like a full 3 hour count on this hourglass, so I think I can look past the skeleton for such a fine deal.

[donaviolet]

I was at school break today and one of my friends was playing Honkai Star Rail on her phone instead of talking to us and we started joking that she was being controlled by the Evil Brick of Globalization (her phone) full of Homosexual Cowboys (Boothill) and that the Church (us) was against it

Then I simply said ✨I cast Divine Punishment✨ while making magic-like gestures and one of her characters died at the exact same moment

[egirl-vrissy]

[dude-the-ancient-dragon]

How many dragonslayers does it take to kill an ancient black dragon?

Seven! One to run away pissing their codpiece and six to instantly die

[sophia-hjkl]

[cupcakepirate123]

I’m making a public apology to anyone it may concern. I’m sorry for casting so many Raigekis. When the spell description said it destroyed “all monsters” I didn’t realize that that also included the monsters you were trying to fuck. Living and learning one day at a time.

[merchant-wizard-and-jerry]

“Shop is open”

1 - Moon stone - 20 currency

2 - enchantment stripper - 17 currency

3 - lock-picks - 13 currency

4 - Kings and crowns’ TCG - 5 currency

5 - dust - 4 currency

6 - symbol - 239 currency

7 - Skulls booster pack - 5 currency

————————

"Wizard Essentials"

————————

Staff - wooden - 4 currency

Orb - glass - 8 currency

Robes - red/blue/purple - 1 currency per robe

————

"Consumables"

————

1 - Mana potion - 10 currency

2 - healing vial - 5 currency

3 - skin of dragon mana - 20 currency

4 - healing tablet - 10 currency

——-

"Salt"

@bi-gender-sorcerer

[jettkuso]

Real observations since I started wearing a wizard hat daily:

- Brim is so wide that I stay BONE DRY taking walks in the rain

- Brim can be positioned to block the sun from ever getting in my eyes AND keeping it off the back of my neck

- The pointed top part creates an air pocket, keeping my head from getting hot or squishing my hair as it might in a ball cap

- Hat can easily be pulled down over the tips of my ears without looking dumb, protecting them from wind chill

- Strangers say they like my hat, giving me the chance to tell them that I am a wizard

- When you’re wearing a wizard hat, ALL OTHER FASHION CHOICES become secondary, allowing you to branch out with style

Embrace ego death. Stay protected from all elements. Wear a wizard hat.

[devious-buffoon]

Shit man, this wizard war is fucked. I just saw a guy clap his hands together and say "the ten hells" or some similar shit, and every one around him turned inside out, had their tibia explode and then disappeared. The camera didn't even go onto him, that's how common shit like this is. My ass is casting frostbite and level 2 poison. I think I just heard "power word:scrunch" two groups over. I gotta get the fuck outta here.

[benthesoldiersjeanshorts]

[gavamont]

A wizard once said “better to cast with a wand”

But that wizard doesn’t know how I conspire

Cause I can sub any wand with a snake from the lawn

But a staff takes a large snake hard to acquire