#sawby | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

consistentsquash · 3 years

Text

20 Snarry Recs for Crack/Humor

20 Snarry Crack/Humor fics

Selection Criteria

* Crack/humor and Snarry. That's it.

* No repeat authors

This is pretty subjective based on my taste in humor/crack.

## AO3 Collection for this list

The Truth About Harry Potter, or What the House Elf Saw

by GMTH (2003)

Winky is telling Dobby about what exactly she saw in Professor Snape's rooms. They have totally different interpretations.

In His Arms

by accioslash, swatlmnd (2011)

Harry succeeds in his Animagus transformation. He becomes a Giant Squid! Snape is 100% onboard with this.

Round Bottom, Twelve Inches

by pen_and_umbra (2005)

One of my favoritest fics of all time. The language! The pacing! Everything is just amazing.

Now, one must understand that Severus Snape is an Englishman of the traditional sort: horse-faced, old-fashioned, and blessed with questionable dentition. He is teacozy-and-tradition loving, rather conservative a fellow, thus virginal at least in the shadier shades of sexuality.

Ten Zillion Points from Gryffindor

by Amanuensis (2003)

Dubcon Ron and Gryffindors take revenge on Snape for Harry's extra detentions. Harry goes to save Snape...But not before actually exploiting the situation. It's a funny fic not a darkfic. But it's still written by Amanuensis so definitely read the warnings.

Lion About the House

by Acid, Sinick (2006)

Snape returns to his dungeons and finds a lion. Now how can a lion show up in the dungeons?

His first instinctive thought was It can’t be, followed at once by Oh, but it can; and this is precisely the sort of thing the imp would do… or be, for that matter. Snape always expected the worst of Harry – if he didn’t, who would? – and thus he wasn’t disappointed one bit. The lion blinked, his eyes a bright and familiar green, and Snape felt sure that once more he’d been proven right.

Cursed Artefacts for Sale

by Icarus (2004)

Snape is maybe mad. He really needs to collect Cursed Artifacts. Harry just deals with it.

"Yes, well, collecting Cursed Artefacts is a registered form of madness in the Compendium of Wizarding Mental Disorders and Other Things That Make You Twitch," Severus said, "alongside most compulsions to collect. But it's very a popular one, and I intend to be there early to beat everyone else to it."

Harry Potter and the 4,149-Page Breakup

by VAC (2007)

What if the entire HP series was basically written by Harry to get over his breakup with Tom Riddle?

Ron didn’t say anything for a few moments; Harry began to wonder if the ending of his second novel wasn’t any good. “So let me get this straight,” Ron began. “You go down into the Chamber of Secrets looking for a giant snake. Then you plunge your massive sword into its open, sucking mouth. Then you take the long, thick fang and plunge that into Tom’s secret diary. That about right?”

“Yeah, something like that.”

“ . . . Harry, I think that you need to get laid.”

Peer Review

Venivincere (2006)

Snape and Harry had a breakup. Harry wants Revenge. So he becomes a peer reviewer on a Potions journal and constantly criticizes whatever Snape submits to be published.

Which one of you imbeciles sanctioned peer review? I will not have my work questioned by some freshly minted expert still damp behind the ears. I should very much like owled to me, at your earliest convenience, a detailed explication of this purported peer review policy and the list of your alleged reviewers and their credentials. In light of the recent dearth of well-researched and -presented articles in your journal, I highly doubt the ability of either of you cretinous fools to hire someone competent to judge any item of content I provide, let alone any refutation of the work of others that I may make.

Sheer Dumb Luck

rexluscus (2007)

noncon Darkfic! This is a legit darkfic. But it's got a lot of existential type humor which really fits Snape's character. Definitely read the warnings first. It won't work for you if that kind of humor isn't your thing. If that's the case skip to the other fics! YMMV!

If he'd thought about it, he'd have realised his words were sure to land Potter on his doorstep in no time flat, since discouragement was the boy's greatest incentive. And sure enough, he appeared almost immediately. There'd be no getting rid of him now, Snape reckoned, on the verge of despair. There was no end to it. Once again, Potter had won, without even trying.

Nine Days Wonder

gingertart50 (2011)

They find a way to defeat Voldemort. It involves Harry getting Snape pregnant. Of course.

"What should we do with the egg?" Harry asked. He was cradling it in his arms.

"Put in the airing cupboard for now."

"Hermione, this is my son or daughter! Or chick. I can't just abandon it in a cupboard!"

The Pandora Complex

by Nimori (2002)

Snape discovers fanfiction. He gets obsessed with it!

Occasional Table

by Predatrix (?)

Snape learns to become an Animagus. Except he becomes something else.

He was a robe. A well-cut, graceful, black, flowing robe. He squinted round, with extreme difficulty, and just-about-managed to see the label on his inside neck. H POTTER, it said.

Weedchopper Harry

by Loupgarou (2004)

Hot smut, crack, banter.

"Please, Mr Potter, consider my reputation. It would be difficult to maintain my "creature of the night" persona if I suddenly came all over "pool-boy" brown."

Potter's laugh was pleasant. Snape was exceedingly annoyed with himself for wanting to hear it again. He frowned disapprovingly.

Bottoms Up

by Aucta Sinistra (2006)

Harry is disguised and hiding. He runs a gay bar. He gets an unexpected guest. Turns out Harry has some serious crush going on! Classic Secret Identity fiction. Except Snape is too Slytherin to actually be tricked.

Snape tilted his head at Harry. “Are you trying to matchmake?”

Harry grinned. “I wouldn’t dream of presuming, Mr. Snape. I don’t know you well enough to guess what you’d like. But I do pay fairly close attention to my clientele, so if you’d like to give me some parameters to work with…” I’ll fit myself inside your parameters anytime.

A Tolerable End to an Unfortunate Situation

by who_la_hoop (2007)

The spectacle of a dead, naked Snape walking into the Great Hall at the exact moment that Harry Potter was handed his Order of Merlin, First Class, was one that will go down in the history books.

Snape isn't dead. Not really. He is totally not cool about this situation.

Rec note - This author has an amazing way of landing dramatic/goth humor which really fits their version of Snape. But this type of humor is probably not going to work for everybody. YMMV

The Nutcracker's Delight

by perverse_idyll and rinsbane (2006)

Snape gets a Christmas gift from Dumbledore. It's a Nutcracker doll. But really! Is anything from Dumbledore going to be that straightforward?

Severus, meanwhile, wasted several seconds haranguing his heart to stop banging around like a rogue Bludger, bruising his ribs. Really, if it wasn’t too much to ask. Instead, for no apparent reason, it took a running leap into his throat. Severus choked.

Felinated!

by AbstractConcept (2017)

Narcissa Malfoy turns Snape into a cat to save his life. Harry gets the cat. The war is over. But there's still some real suspicious stuff happening at Hogwarts. Harry and Cat!Snape investigate.

“Well, yes, but, Snape’s a cat,” Harry noted, feeling the need to drive the point home. “He was sort of right at the centre of things and now he’s furry—well, a greasy black fur, I must admit—and he can’t talk at all and he’s sort of insane. More insane, that is. More bloodthirsty. He bites. And I don’t mean that figuratively. I can’t do this,” Harry went on with perfect sincerity. “I could barely handle him as a bloody-minded Potions master. As a furry cutting instrument that loathes me, I think I have to decline taking care of him. I really mean it. He’s completely yahoo and I’m tired, Professor McGonagall.”

Rec note - The Snarody author for me <3 They have tons of great funny/shameless/dirtyhotwrong fics.

Willy, Willy, on the Wall

by orphan_account (2017)

Harry loses his dick. Snape finds a free dick and uses it a lot. The great adventure of Harry trying to track down his dick and finding out who exactly is doing things with it.

That night, he had one of his nightmares again. He woke up with a scream and felt around blindly for his wand or something, anything. But when he accidentally grabbed the penis, he calmed right down. It was comforting to have something warm and alive so close to him, he noted with surprise. Was this what it felt like to have a friend nearby?

Hints from Severus

by cruisedirector and DementorDelta (2012)

Severus and Rita Skeeter have a deal. He writes answers for her housekeeping Q&A column. His answers are Snapeish. Guess who asks a question? Actually it is a series of questions because Harry is busy fixing up Grimmauld.

Dear Mr. Prince, You are the biggest perv in the wizarding world, but I managed to make the portrait cry, so I suppose you must know what you're talking about. I had to perform three cleaning charms before I could stand the idea of putting on the old bag's girdle, but once I had it on, I kind of liked it. And since she was so quiet and miserable afterward, I couldn't hear her in my room with the door shut, so I managed to have a really good wank for the first time in months. Staining and tearing have both been accomplished. Should I cover the portrait with the old towel I used to clean myself off?

Rec note - <3 Any fic from this duo is guaranteed to be hot/sweet/dirty/wrong/forever rereadable. They really represent the best of Snarry shamelessness for me.

The GL, Oder Der Giftige Lautsprecher, nicht wahr?

by Rakina (2011)

Neville finds a seriously complicated talking plant in Germany. Turns out it is Snape. It talks. A lot. Harry and Neville figure out how to turn the plant back into Snape.

Rec note - Rakina! Rakina is one of my favorite Snarry authors. Most of their fics got taken down. But luckily this one was written for a fest and still available! A great fic to end the list with.

#snarry #severus x harry #recs #fic recs #humor #hp fanfic #slash

35 notes · View notes