#saezuru spoilers

[danmeibrainrot]

‼️SAEZURU CHAPTER 58 SPOILERS‼️

Misumi comes to know that Doumeki is working under Tsunakawa

Misumi is not happy that Yashiro has been hiding the fact that he met/reunited with Doumeki

Misumi calls Yashiro his mistress

Yashiro's Casino appears to have been raided by other thugs and Nana warns him against going there

Kuga appears! He is working as a mechanic now

Doumeki has "come back" Many times after the incidents of chapter 57 true to his word (with sexy panels of their 'meetings')

The chapter ends with rain and Yashiro thinking back to when he had asked Doumeki what it feels like to fall in love 🥺😭😢

[saezurusteve]

Nah… they’re not in love at all. 🙄

Apparently there’s a rumor that Doumeki licks Yashiro’s bullet scar. Which one, I wonder? 🤔

[ogata77]

Second and third Spoilers chapter 58

With the latest spoilers Yoneda is giving us a shock of anxiety. On the one hand, the big bosses finally meet and we will know if Doumeki enters the equation or not. My personal opinion is that Misumi has known for a long time that Doumeki is in Sakuraika thanks to Amou hahaha, a silent son but also somewhat misguided and not satisfied with that Yoneda includes Kageyama after a long time although it should not surprise us because the glasses of contact in previous chapters it was obvious that it was coming. This is similar to the movie The Godfather, when oranges were seen in the scene, death was surely coming for someone. In any case, in saezuru for now this is not so literal but it is an indication of the closure of processes and the beginning of others, which is why there are so many parallels with chapter 10.

In a few hours we will have the progress and we will know where Yoneda will take us with all this. Ever since Doumeki was greeted by Tsunakawa on that cold winter day he waited for this moment.

[doumekistattooshouldvebeenatiger]

Thoughts/predictions I have after reading all the spoiler posts I could find about ch 58:

- Tsunakawa is bae. Genuinely, I love that he's just throwing his boy Doumeki out there. He's good pals with Amou and has eyes so I'm guessing he's onto the vibes Yashiro and Doumeki are sending out to the universe. I mean Doumeki is as subtle as a brick, so at this point Nanahara is probably the only clueless one left. Here's hoping the long term goal is to use his favourite subordinate to steal Misumi's favourite toy for shits giggles and a happy ending.

- Misumi is a prick.

- (Elaborating on Misumi being a prick) The reason he hates Doumeki so much is because Doumeki actually values Yashiro as a person and loosing his favourite plaything is just not a vibe. I genuinely think his hatred of Doumeki is that basic (Unlike Doumeki's hatred of Inami which definitely has layers). He's a perceptive man he knows what he's seeing.

- As an aside, what's the deal with Amou helping out Doumeki. Like is he secretly backing the Yashiro/Douemki supremacy because he feels guilty at all the benefits he got from Misumi whilst he shat on Yashiro from a great height. I get the impression Amou and Yashiro are the same age and I don't think Tsunakawa's throwaway comment about Misumi trying to keep Amou out of the Yakuza was actually a throwaway comment.

- Everyone keeps saying Yashiro and Doumeki aren't suited to the Yakuza but at the same time they're both pretty good at it. I'm having this wild feeling they're going to end up still in the Yakuza at the end but on equal footing.

- I don't care for Kageyama. Also I'm shook he's still around. Guess this means the contact lenses are gonna blow up after all.

- Doumeki is definitely going to lose his shit when he realises Yashiro kept Kageyama around as well as Inami. I feel like the jealousy is going to be the crack in the game he's been playing and finally seeing some confirmation of feeling might bring some sort of admission of feelings from Yashiro. We might finally get to find out who Izumi is.

- I'm genuinely so happy/pleased for them that they've been meeting regularly for sex. On the flipside, very much looking forward to the fallout of Doumeki telling Inami to stay away from Yashiro. Also if they're meeting regularly and Yashiro hasn't been seeing Inami, then he would be operating within the realms of monogamy Doumeki has been craving since the beginning.

[noniedarkmeki]

I think i REPEAT 📢 i think❗️we have reached the end of vol 9🫠👍🏻❗️

[ryan566t6]

Color on.

[cosmicjoke]

Okay, chapter 56 of Saezuru!

First, I just want to give a huge thanks to @itwearsadress for providing such a quick and amazing translation for all of us!

So, this chapter was extremely, extremely interesting.

My main impression here is that, while there's definitely been a breakthrough of sorts between Yashiro and Doumeki, there's still a great deal of fear and uncertainty in both of them. The entire first half of this chapter was Yashiro trying, in vain, to avoid Doumeki's probing questions. To me, Yashiro came across as really terrified, and I think that terror was coming from the genuine belief that Doumeki was just messing with him, basically using his new found knowledge of Yashiro's impotency as a way to be unkind. Normally, this sort of thing wouldn't bother Yashiro, at least, not consciously, but he's in love with Doumeki. Really, really deeply in love. And we see what his perception that Doumeki is being intentionally cruel is doing to him. It's Yashiro's attempt to shield himself from that kind of hurt, the hurt of loving and not being loved in return, that's making him so resistant at first. I really, truly think Yashiro doesn't know that Doumeki loves him, at this point, and I think maybe he's never, truly known it. We have to remember, Yashiro's self-image is completely warped. He's believed all his life that he's not a person worthy of love, or even capable of being loved. His experience with Kage only served to reinforce that notion in his head.

I'll get more into this in a minute. But first, I want to talk about Doumeki's internal thoughts at the beginning, and what I think it means for the end of the chapter. Doumeki says to himself that he's been concealing his emotions to keep Yashiro from running away. Basically, we finally get a definitive answer explaining why Doumeki's been so cold to Yashiro. It's not so much that Doumeki is afraid of Yashiro's rejection, or that he's angry at Yashiro for that rejection, but more so that he just doesn't want to create a situation again in which Yashiro runs from him. He's trying to keep Yashiro at his side. At the end of the chapter, when Yashiro asks him what kind of sex this is that they're having, Doumeki very deliberately says that he's "a man without principles" and that he's just doing this to have sex. He's saying there's no emotion involved. That he's not "in love" with Yashiro and wanting to have sex with him because of it, but simply that he gets physical gratification from having sex with Yashiro, and that's it. I think Doumeki is saying here what he thinks Yashiro wants him to say, or what he wants to hear, because he thinks it's what will keep Yashiro around.

Basically, it seems to me that while there's some unspoken understanding between them, I think they're both still very much pretending here. Even if Doumeki suspects or knows that Yashiro cares for him, he still thinks Yashiro wants to pretend there's no emotion involved. That that's what's required to keep Yashiro with him.

The awful thing is, this is exactly the opposite of what Yashiro actually wants.

Yashiro's almost startled look after Doumeki says this, followed by a sort of sad resignation, makes me think that he believes it. Because when they first met, Yashiro plainly stated that anyone who developed feelings for him would be turned out. I think Yashiro looks sadly resigned here because he wants Doumeki to tell him he loves him again, he wants Doumeki to tell him he cares about him, but he doesn't, and Yashiro no doubt blames himself for that. I think Yashiro is, once again, resigning himself to the idea that whatever chance he had with Doumeki, he blew. He wants the Doumeki from before, who so openly expressed his love for him, but he seems to really believe that chance has passed him by. That he's ruined it. . He WANTS Doumeki to tell him he loves him, but if he can't and won't, he'll take the next best thing, which is just having Doumeki with him. So he just accepts it. He just accepts this idea that Doumeki has no feeling for him beyond the mutual, physical pleasure they share.

Now back to the first half of the chapter and what it tells us about Yashiro's state of mind.

Yashiro looks truly mortified for a moment when Doumeki shows him the memory card and asks him if he knows what's on it, before falling back into an apathetic attitude. That one panel where we get a close up of Yashiro's eyes shows us almost a moment of panic from him, and I think that comes from the sudden realization that Doumeki must now know he's impotent with everyone but him. I think this causes panic in Yashiro, again, because he desperately doesn't want to have to face Doumeki's rejection, and so he doesn't want Doumeki to know he has feelings for him. Doumeki discovering that Yashiro can't get it up with Inami, or anyone else, is tantamount to Doumeki discovering that Yashiro has feelings for him, which leaves Yashiro vulnerable to Doumeki's rejection. So we see Yashiro go into an extremely defensive mode at this point, pretending to brush it off, acting like he doesn't care if Doumeki watches it, acting like he's not ashamed or embarrassed. Yashiro's acting unbothered, but he's clearly freaking out inside. When Doumeki presses, saying "It seems that it's quite different with me", we again get a close up of Yashiro's eyes, showing a panicked, desperate expression, before he again tries to brush it off as just that "sort of play", trying to paint it as meaningless. Again, he's trying desperately to hide his feelings for Doumeki, to keep Doumeki from discovering those feelings. I think Yashiro's attempts at evasion here need to be understood through the lens of Yashiro's fear, and his belief that Doumeki doesn't care about him anymore. He thinks if Doumeki realizes Yashiro loves him, he'll either purposefully use it to hurt him, or just hurt him through rejection. So he keeps playing it off as no big deal.

But Doumeki keeps pressing, because he knows Yashiro is putting on an act here. He asks Yashiro why it is he's so satisfied with him, and again, Yashiro looks panicked. I think the following exchange is really important to understanding what's going on here with Yashiro specifically.

He knows he's trapped now. I think he knows Doumeki realizes that he can only get it up with him because he has feelings for him. We see again a resigned defeat in Yashiro's expression when Doumeki asks him if he remembers how many times he came. The important thing here is that, after answering that he doesn't, Doumeki says he doesn't either, and again, we see Yashiro's eyes up close, looking startled and hurt, and he slips again into pretending like none of it matters. Again, he becomes defensive, saying sarcastically that Doumeki is just being "mean" now. But Yashiro's expression here is very telling. He's smiling when he says the above line, but I think he means it. I think Yashiro's feelings are genuinely hurt. He thinks Doumeki is messing with him on purpose at this point. That he's rubbing it in, maybe to get back at Yashiro for how he treated him before the time skip. I think this exchange is, once again, reinforcing for Yashrio the belief that he's ruined any chance he might have had to be with Doumeki, and turned Doumeki against him, to the point that he thinks Doumeki wants to hurt him.

Doumeki meanwhile seems to be getting frustrated with Yashiro's continued evasion. We see his hands curling into fists when he asks Yashiro from what point it was he started to feel his body had chemistry with Doumeki's. He wants Yashiro to just confess that he has feelings for him, but Yashiro won't do it. I think, from Yashiro's perspective, he thinks Doumeki is just continuing to rub it in and is enjoying this, needling Yashiro, messing with him. Doumeki isn't, but again, this is from Yashiro's perspective. So we see Yashiro, again, get defensive, lashing out by asking Doumeki about his woman. Yashiro's hurt is obvious here. He's upset that Doumeki seems to be screwing with him, using his feelings against him, and so he lets his hurt over Doumeki's involvement with his woman come out. Again, it reeks of desperation on Yashiro's part. He's trying anything and everything to protect himself from the pain Doumeki's causing him, but he's only exposing himself further by doing so.

And Doumeki again calls him out on it, observing that it's unusual for Yashiro to show an interest in his personal life. Doumeki has Yashiro trapped again, basically telling him that he knows Yashiro is lying by acting like he doesn't care. Yashiro is on the back foot during this entire exchange. And again Yashiro gets incredibly defensive, this time standing up and trying to end the conversation. He knows he's got no way out of this now, no way to pretend any longer that he doesn't care, so he tries to escape it by fleeing. But Doumeki doesn't let him.

We once more see Yashiro lash out defensively, tearing away from Doumeki and telling him what he does in his life has nothing to do with him. His hurt again shows itself when he tells Doumeki that he's got no reason to "fuck" him anymore and that he should just go do it with his woman. Again, I think this exchange is super important. Yashiro is showing once more that he genuinely still thinks Doumeki doesn't care for him. His jealousy over Doumeki's woman is his despair over losing Doumeki coming out. We see once more Yashiro's resigned expression when Doumeki tells him that just like it's not his business who Yashiro has sex with, it's not Yashiro's business either who Doumeki has sex with. Yashiro's resigned expression here tells me again that he thinks he's lost Doumeki. I think Yashiro is operating during this entire exchange with the belief that Doumeki is just there to torment him. That's backed up by Yashiro's next words, when he asks Doumeki what it is he came there to do, and then accuses him of being there just to confirm that Yashiro can't get it up with anyone else and "take pity" on him. Yashiro's expression becomes one of apathy again as he says this. It's clear he's trying to shield himself. He thinks Doumeki is trying to hurt him.

But Doumeki of course isn't trying to hurt Yashiro, he's trying to get him to admit his feelings, and he just keeps pressing, because he knows he has Yashiro trapped.

One more really important exchange happens here, I think, when Doumeki presses Yashiro about how sex doesn't feel good to him with anyone else but him. Yashiro says "So what if that's true? You... You were only doing this to satisfy my sexual urges. What benefit is there to you?"

Doumeki's expression is startled here when Yashiro says this, and then in the next panel, it becomes soft, even sad. I think Doumeki realizes in that moment that Yashiro really believes that Doumeki never had any, real feelings for him, and that he only ever wanted to have sex with him for Yashiro's benefit, not because he was genuinely attracted to or in love with him. I think Yashiro's words here break Doumeki's heart, because of how truly sad that is.

And I think that sadness in Doumeki is compounded by his own belief that he can't just tell Yashiro he loves him. He says, in response, "The body chemistry is mutual". It's the best he can do without actually saying he loves Yashiro, because he still thinks, if he says that, Yashiro will run away. He doesn't realize how much Yashiro WANTS to hear Doumeki say it. Like I said, they're both still pretending here, because they both are still operating under false beliefs about the other. Yashiro under the belief that Doumeki doesn't love him and never has, and Doumeki under the belief that Yashiro will again run away if he confesses his feelings.

And then comes the big moment that everyone keeps talking about, which is an indirect confession from Yashiro of his feelings for Doumeki, when Doumeki says in reply to Yashiro's accusation that Doumeki has said some cruel things to him, "You liked cruel things, didn't you?"

I think Yashiro's expressions here are vital to understanding this exchange too.

Again, Yashiro, for a moment before his answer, looks stricken. The thing is, Yashiro DOESN'T like cruel things. He wants Doumeki, and he wants the Doumeki of before, the one who was so kind toward him. But he can't ask for that, because he still thinks Doumeki doesn't care about him, and he can't leave himself open to the kind of pain he'll experience with the rejection of his feelings. The next panel shows Yashiro with what I would call a resigned smile on his face as he says "I do". I think this is Yashiro saying he likes cruel things still, because he thinks it's the only way he'll get Doumeki now. This new version of Doumeki that doesn't love him, but is willing to have sex with him. It is an indirect confession on Yashiro's part, but it's once again predicated on Yashiro laboring under the belief that Doumeki doesn't love him.

It's really kind of a catch-22 between them, because Doumeki doesn't think he can say he loves Yashiro without driving him away, even as it seems he knows Yashiro cares for him, and Yashiro wants Doumeki to say he loves him, but can't bring himself to ask for it because he thinks Doumeki doesn't love him.

Basically, it's still a mess between them, even as we see a kind of acceptance happen at last in this chapter.

I think people tend to forget that Saezuru is, by and large, a tragedy, and there's a definite air of tragedy to this chapter. A lot of the expressions between Yashiro and Doumeki strike me as heartbreaking, resigned, sad, fearful, etc... I think that kind of encapsulates the general feeling of this chapter. It's definite progress, but it's progress that's still greatly hampered by misunderstanding.

Another amazing and nuanced chapter from Yoneda. I'm extremely eager to see what comes with chapter 57. I'm happy we'll be getting the next chapter at the end of March!

[lustfulcat]

I love Doumeki's gloved hand on Yashiro's waist I'm gonna paint this panel on the side of my house.

[twitteringthings]

Fresh Thoughts Chapter 57

After reading spoilers on twitter (no spoilers here though^^)

The way Yoneda uses bl stereotypes as a tool while also rejecting some aspects of the genre is so interesting to read. In most bl I've read, sex is seen as the epitome of love - the culmination of two characters' pining and is seen as the end goal that suddenly fixes everything. The dick and brain are one and suddenly everything magically makes sense. But in Saezuru, Yoneda uses sex to unravel the characters while twisting them up even more-so. I believe that sex has never been and will never be the answer for Doumeki or Yashiro, and I think that is what she’s getting at. That is the point of all these sexual encounters that yield no real progress. You need more than three words and some head, ding dongs!

Doumeki thinks that all he has to do is give Yashiro passionate and gentle sex to make him realize that he loves him and imo he has it all wrong. It’s almost like Doumeki doesn’t truly hear Yashiro when he speaks. There's a pause and then a kiss or a continuing of sex as we've seen. I really wish he would’ve probed even further with the questioning instead of giving into desire and kissing Y. To me, it looked like Y was ready to talk more or hear what Doumeki had to say in response to his ‘confession.’

I don’t think D realizes that this is about Y and his view of himself. It doesn’t matter if Doumeki treats him kindly and calls him beautiful. Every person in Yashiro’s life has had an agenda against him or a plan to use him for something (nana excluded). There are always, always strings attached and his heart cannot accept anyone having no intention at all, except to love him purely. I do think D is on the right track though, making Yashiro chase him in a way. Not giving anything away as to make Y either trust his intentions or distrust him, Y needs to choose for himself.

It’s so interesting how the relationship between the two of them is outwardly focused on the physical aspect (which is definitely important), but the story is about the hearts of men. Twisted and broken men. Men with baggage and secrets and deep wounds. Men who seem to be the upmost composed but in reality, the soft touch of a feather can send their entire fortress crashing down. That's what we have here.

Yashiro’s coping mechanism protects him but is also the cause of his continuous pain. Saezuru is about choosing the right pain, the pain that will numb you and have you walk through life as a ghost, or the excruciating discomfort in accepting a foreign act of kindness that you know will save you. And for Yashiro, being saved means there was something wrong done to him in the first place - which I don't think he completely realizes yet. This would mean everything he ever told himself was a lie, and that he deserved none of the cruelty. The truth that would destroy him the most if he truly chose and accepted kindness, is that he is a good person and that he deserves to love himself and to be loved. With Doumeki, this has always been Yashiro’s battle.

Vile actions accompanied by cursed words are what has held Y back all his life from the moment he was raped by his stepfather and throughout the continued abuse, even up to the most recent events post-timeskip. And I think the exact opposite is needed from both sides to finally free both of them from their mental prisons. They just need to hold out and to talk to each other for more than five minutes. I hope they'll get there soon.

Lastly, I'm sure it wasn't her intention to make such an impactful story that subverts a genre and goes against the grain - in a wonderful way. I saw something another person posted that said this story and these characters are just a result of good storytelling and great care and I could not agree more.

I haven't posted anything of actual substance in a while (stupid work is stopping me from my true passion - alas!). These are some messy thoughts; I can't wait to read the actual chapter for true understanding! I need to analyze every pen stroke, blush, and body placement. I just had to get this out of my head, now back to my essay that's due at 11:59 *sobs*

Edit 1:55 am: Still have not started essay

[swallowerofdharma]

First impressions from chapter 57. Thank you so much @itwearsadress for your translation!

Doumeki to me seemed clinical? Most of all. I wouldn’t be surprised to discover that Izumi-san is actually Doumeki’s sex therapist and consultant. And with that I don’t imply that they necessarily have or had sex. I wouldn’t be surprised if Doumeki, feeling guilty and conflicted after realizing how complicated the situation with Yashiro was, thanks to that talk with Nanahara, asked for her advice. She is responsible for the girls at the club and she likely would know how to handle certain sensitive circumstances. Doumeki could have asked if she knew what to do with someone who was sexually assaulted.

It seems clear to me from this new chapter, at least, that the news delivered by Inami definitely registered. Doumeki’s approach is much more calculated now, he kept his attention on every expression Yashiro made. He is pushing, again, but this is deliberate instead of clumsy, and this isn’t anymore him trying to make it rough, because now he knows that rough doesn’t do it for Yashiro anymore. Now he knows that Yashiro responds to him specifically. And he is steering back towards gentle and loving, observing, observing the moment that triggers Yashiro’s fear. It was hard to see that Yashiro recognized Doumeki from four years ago, recognized that what they were doing was like that one time, like making love and he couldn’t help it and pulled back in fear. This is underlined so masterfully by the visual representation and expressed verbally later, so that it is shown and experienced before being told and explained.

This manga is amazing. All those nuances and also the ease with which Yoneda-sensei moves their bodies and the point of view. The details of Yashiro’s hands, how he opens his body to Doumeki, the shadow that one body cast on the other. This is artistically beautiful and every moment is meaningful.

Doumeki is still unaware of Yashiro’s feelings or of his fears connected with the idea Yashiro formed about his relationship with Izumi. So he acted deliberately and clinically while still emotionally involved and hiding it. There were moments where he lets his feelings through like when Yashiro said something that he remembered. When they talk like this, they recognize each other and those moments when they were lowering their defenses in the past and being honest. It makes me hopeful. Working through the pain and the fear. But they still don’t understand each other and that leaves them both very vulnerable.

[artemisrisen]

I’m so impressed with doumeki in chapter 57; he navigates this path through yashiro’s severe anxieties like a captain steering their ship through rough water. he’s controlled but on high alert, watches for any hiccups and adjusts immediately, and tries to find that wire-thin balance between gentle (scary and wanted) and rough (familiar but unwanted). when yashiro gets too shaky, doumeki resets their position to be less intimate, and then carefully re-introduces kissing until yashiro is far more relaxed. it’s really fascinating and lovely to see how much he's changed in his approach.

and I think we’d all love for him to admit that he loves yashiro too, or at least that his relationship with mama-san/izumi is a facade (or does not replace his love for yashiro), but after this chapter I can see why he keeps his cards so close to his chest. yashiro is so volatile that even he can’t predict his own reactions - there’s a chance that realizing doumeki loves him, even now, would cause him to backslide and retreat into the idea that he doesn’t deserve this kind of love, and do whatever possible to push doumeki away again. I don’t think that things would happen the same as they did in the past, but I’m no longer concerned about doumeki’s silence. he’s playing the long game.

[danmeibrainrot]

Doumeki and Yashiro keep having sex together, pretending it's just to satisfy their needs and physical desires, but it must be pure torture for them. You can see how much they love each other in said panels . It's so heartbreaking and painful. For both them and the audience. The way they connect and love each other so deeply but can't fully express it makes their situation even more tragic. The main reason Doumeki clearly chooses have sex with Yashiro is because he understands Nanahara's analogy about Yashiro's relationship with sex being similar to his addiction to cigarettes. Doumeki is willing to be the "reusable cigarette" for Yashiro, as long as it prevents Yashiro from harming himself both physically and mentally.

Both in love yet feigning indifference out of necessity.

[saezurusteve]

Saezuru Chapter 56 is coming!!!

https://x.com/bs_garden/status/1750716438837674487?s=46&t=2e7-wJKCMG1-wjVF2M6vIg

“I want a reason to be around”

“I’ve suppressed my feelings, has this person?”

Here we goooooooooooo!!!! Yashiro might get some love for his birthday! 🥳

P.S. My translation is probably crap. 💩

[ogata77]

That bittersweet taste now and always 💘

[saezurumurmurs]

Yes Please! More! I Need More!

These spoilers are giving me life… look at them!

[noniedarkmeki]

HAPPY SAEZURU DAY🤍!

GET PREPARED FOR THE YAKUZA PLOT! IT MIGHT HURT US REAL GOOD THIS TIME 🤡👍🏻!