#idk how to draw big men forgive me

[the-phantom-peach]

I saw ur Tp fanart and it made me wonder

Idk man teenage Colin gettin a big hug from his big bro Adult Tp link

can i tell you about the hard reset my brain did when i first read your ask some time ago and how the exact same thing happened when i read it again to respond to it (i mean this positively i love these two so very much you don’t understand).

So here it is. I’m normal and didn’t spend an hour on this yeah

[hartmannyoukaigirl]

rant abt my mom bc I am. actually going to Kms ↓ ( it's 10 PM and it's safe to say that since around 1 PM I've been crying. yeah. )

INHALES.

I don't want to cry AGAIN so I'm not going too far but I actually need to let this out

My Mother Dearest might actually have a thing for showing me off to random men at this point. She explicitly uses any opportunity where my dad or brother aren't present to get me in the most stupid horrible situations with disgusting old men.

I don't like makeup or going to the saloon or any of those stereotypical feminine things... but she's OBSESSED with them and

Has a mid life crisis so she's trying to use me to get all the male attention she lives for

Hours earlier, I was getting a picture taken because ?? my mom wanted to? although it's really useless and

I was wearing a really tight sweater UNDERNEATH a really big, comfy jacket.

It is The End Of December so it's pretty cold, and I never take the jacket off on purpose !! but bc I'm wearing a huge comfy jacket It'll be uncomfy to wear something oversized underneath ( which is what I wear when I'm wearing only one layer... listen idk how to explain. U get me )

but now. my Mother dearest. Knowing this. told me to get undressed :))))) Infront of the guy and his camera :))"(+((1!((2(4((£+£33

I LOOKED LIKE A PIXIV/TWITTER ANIME GIRL DRAWING DONE BY A HENTAI ARTIST. I AJNDNFE I LITERALLY HATE HATE HATE HAAAATE That type of... thing. Its

the situation was so humiliating.

it perfectly showed my body and I DONT LIKE THAT. ESPECIALLY When I'm in a closed room with a man and a camera like what the fuck ??? this is literally a p/rno set up

and my mom actually got mad at me, yelled, and hit me with a hair brush to take the jacket off.

I did end up doing what she told me but I ended up crying so much as she's just yelling at me and insulting me. she kept saying how I need to be beat TO act right and she laughed and made jokes of, and I directly quote "a big masculine black guy beating me so I'll act right"

I've had a massive headache and actually ate close to nothing all day and even now I feel more nauseous than anything. but after we came home and ate she hugged me and said "oh I'm sorry but yknow sometimes U just gotta listen to me!!" you don't KNOW BEST YOU ARENT. god. to tell me what to do. sorry.

my mom wants to be worshipped and for her word to be absolute but... no. very unfortunately for her I have a spine and also I am religious.

she told me "oh just do it !! undress!! and god will forgive you later. just ask for his forgiveness" wtf. also fuck off you're the one going to hell for this ? she may think she escaped or evaded the Very Factual and Actual Sin of NOT DRESSING PROPERLY IN PUBLIC SPACES But I. wasnt. at fault.

her way of speaking was really annoying too... you can't just do something that you know is very much haram and a sin and go "oopsies teehe' like

for her she may have no morals and she evidently did say "I don't care about anything but how good the picture looks." but I do

and i

am tired of being forced to do things against my will, comfort and beliefs.

[hamliet]

I don't know if you're willing to open up this can of worms again, but aren't Isayama's infamous tweet and blog post at this point like 8/12 years old?

I'm saying this because people *still* consistently bring them up.

And as far as I know nothing else has been dug up? (I've been really looking for stuff and nobody really seems to be able to bring up anything else.)

Not that them being old makes them okay, but I feel like consistency is the key to understanding 'problematic' people.

J. K. Rowling just can't seem to shut the fuck up, your average creepy and wierd streamer dude just can't seem to shut the fuck up.

Companies with shitty work environments and their presidents just can't seem to be able to shut the fuck up.

I think I get the feeling Isayama can at least shut the fuck up.

Idk maybe we get some big crazy news tomorrow about how he's put all of his money into right wing shit or something, but as far as I know he's just planning to build a spa and maybe never draw manga again, right?

He did some philantrophy by auctioning off a sketch for AIDS orphans, I believe?

He also clarified Eren's genocide is supposed to be wrong?

I mean that's what I've found, I'm not even sure how many of these are true.

I'm just curious if anything else has cropped up/if you know.

But I also want to be careful about unnecessary praise.

So I am gonna answer this, but then don't really want more arguments, so asks arguing will be deleted (not on you Anon! This ask is fine, I just don't wanna get into it today).

Here's the thing about the internet: things never go away, and because things are still up, they're timeless. Ish. Even if they have been deleted.

Yeah, these comments are very old. I do genuinely get, however, because of what Japan did in WWII, why people who are directly affected in terms of their families (colonization like... doesn't just end) are not able to move past that. They don't have to. The effects are still felt today. No one has to forgive or move beyond it. I caution against telling people they need to move on from a comment supporting one of the men who participating in the abuse, even if the comment was not about the abuse. People are allowed to talk about their hurt and suspicion. I'll never say they can't.

That said, yes, it's entirely possible Isayama has learned more and realized by now. I hope he has. My guess would be that he has.

And that said, I would like to see each and every westerner who screams about the blog post specifically take a good long look at whether they've ever said good things about any of the founding fathers of America, who like owned slaves, or about other people revered in their country because I sure as hell want to tell you that none of us are innocent in this. None. Zero.

People are raised with different perspectives, and part of growing up means reexamining them. People, even historical people, are complex, and can have done great good and great evil (not saying this dude did any good; I don't know much about him).

Actually, y'know what, Americans should take a damn good look at Unit 731, and maybe have a "hmm" moment about why we as Americans never learn about Unit 731 in school. Like, it's not in any US textbooks. Could it be because the US, as much as we held the Nuremberg Trials for justice for the Holocaust, actually helped Japan get away with Unit 731 and the abuses in Manchuria because we got something out of it? (Spoilers: yes. We helped them get away with it in exchange for information gained from horrific human experiments.)

Maybe even take a look at Winston Churchill, a figure I've always had positive feelings about in history, been raised to revere, and then when once conversing with a Japanese friend, I told a funny story about how someone in my office used a lot of quotes from Churchill to encourage us during the pandemic. My friend, who is a wonderfully kind person, gave me a strange look, and then I realized that someone from a country that had been hit with two nuclear bombs might have a slightly different perspective on officials who authorized it.

The Holocaust allusion is the other Big Thing in SnK and is indefensible. The funny thing is I always get accused of defending this when I've always said it's indefensible and a terrible oversight, just because I don't believe the story is fascist and think it was unconscious rather than an act of conscious bigotry. Not that that makes it excusable or better, because it doesn't, and people can hate the work for that and talk about their hurt all they want. But enjoying the story doesn't inherently make someone bigoted (many Jewish people have spoken out about their love of it; they are just as valid as those offended). Yes, it's privilege sometimes to be able to ignore some things and not others, but... what goes into that is complicated.

We are all limited by our perspectives. If people who say you can't enjoy Harry Potter nowadays because you're financially benefitting Rowling have never or will never again buy chocolate from Nestle or Hershey (which use child slaves), then they can talk. Until then, focus on the planks in your own eyes (I completely get why many people will never enjoy HP again and support them in doing so, even if I continue to derive hope from the stories while acknowledging critique, and I know trans people on both perspectives who are all valid). Everyone has their own limits and compromises. It's important to be aware of them, yes, and to keep pushing for a better world and growing, but no one's getting through this earth pure. It's hard to say this without it sounding like an excuse. Maybe it is. I don't mean it to be. I don't know. I just know that I've never read another story that captures the grief of losing a parent in a way that speaks to me with such comfort like HP did.

Ideals and practice are not always the same thing; we're stumbling through a broken world on broken legs with a broken map. Let's look at the lighthouse (ideals) to chart our courses, and use our broken tools to haul ourselves forward, not focus on telling others their tools are bad. People screaming "you're a bad person if you ignore X!" are in sore need of a mirror. We should all work on ourselves.

[luminecho]

Hello Echo, question. Do you still have Four brainrot? Follow up question. Do you have any songs that you associate with Four? Thanks bestie <3

Answer 1: Steel, I ALWAYS have Four brainrot <3

Answer 2: I am literally SO FUCKING GLAD you asked, you have no idea how excited I got seeing this holy shit. HELL YEAH I do!! Take a few songs from my playlist

If I include more than 3 Sleeping At Last, Of Monsters And Men, or The Oh Hellos songs on any given playlist or list of songs you may be entitled to financial compensatio-- *looks at this list* oh whoops

1) Crystals - Of Monsters And Men - this might as well be Four’s theme song for all I associate it with him. It’s so good. So so so good.

2) Call Them Brothers - Regina Spektor - Obligatory Call Them Brothers mention. This is not original at all I've seen so many other people talk about this song with Four and-- yeah they're right this song is about Four JKHEHBFDEKF.

3) Bad Blood - Sleeping At Last - I'm biased. If you know me then expect way too many SAL songs from me in any list of songs ever because I will never shut up about SAL and they have a lot of songs I like. So there's 4 SAL songs on this list, deal with it jhkwewjkwjkfh. Anyway Bad Blood gives me so many Four feels. 11/10

3) Soap - The Oh Hellos - THIS SONNGG. Ouugghh. I could probably dissect this song if I wanted to go over every little thing in it that makes me think of Four & why but I already exhausted my song infodumping capacity on the last song on this list so perhaps some other time HDEGJDDEKF. Just. The vibes AND the lyrics. Mannn

4) Forgive Me Friend - Smith & Thell - I have both the original and the acoustic version saved to my Four playlist because I really like both versions hwdfjefke but. There's so many ways this song could be interpreted w/ Four and tbh I'm just gonna leave it up to everyone else because every time I listen to it I think of something else lol.

5) Meteor Shower - Cavetown - I don't have much to say about this one other than thinking about this song gives me a LOT of emotions jhqkdhwbefjk. Just,,, it has a lot of self-acceptance vibes to me when I listen to it in this context and I think I'm drawing those comfort vibes from the melody? Idk but they're there for me lol

6) Glitter & Gold - Barns Courtney - Someone did a mini AMV to this song w/ Four a while back for the LU zine and I've associated the song with him ever since hwdkjgefhkfev. I like the vibes. Reminds me of the forge.

7) Lakehouse - Of Monsters And Men - Idk what it is about this song. It has a mix of homesickness feels and storytelling feels and something about that makes me think of Four. Also there's a line about breaking trust in here somewhere heehee hoohoo Vio go brr.

8) I Dare You - Bea Miller - my brain can't decide if I actually like this song or not for some reason buuuut it has big Four vibes regardless lmao. Mostly in the lyrics. Definitely in the lyrics

9) No Light, No Light - Florence + The Machine - based more off the vibes of the song than the lyrics. i don't really have an explanation for this one, it's just always given me Four vibes for no reason hdwkjfgeh. Shadow too. I have it one both playlists

10) I Have Made Mistakes - The Oh Hellos - probably self-indulgent but this one has the self-acceptance and self-forgiveness vibes than go hand and hand with Four as a character so <3

11) From The Ground Up - Sleeping At Last - something about the line "in an effort to remember what being mended feels like" shakes me to my core. Am I allowed to slap the "self-acceptance" label on this song and call it a day? Cause,,, yeah the self love in this song. Ough. Also the themes of growth and being somewhere that's truly home.

12) Overture III / Awake - Sleeping At Last - Bestie this one's so self-indulgent. This song is pretty new and when I tell you that I latched onto it the DAY I first heard it FTHDGHWJKEFG. I connect so deeply with this song and I can and will project every emotion I experience ever onto Four which means he gets this song too. <3 Also it once again has themes of self-acceptance

13) September 15, 2017: Cassini - The Grand Finale - Sleeping At Last - OH MY GOD *VIBRATES INTO THE FIFTH DIMENSION*

Alright alright alright. Listen. This song is entirely instrumental. So why do I associate it with Four, you may ask?

WELLLLLLLL.

First of all, happy anniversary to the event this song was written about! Or-- well, it was the anniversary when this ask was sent djwhfkhjdewjhke. I took a while to answer it. BUT still. Happy anniversary!

Second of all, strap in cause I’m about to infodump the hell out of this song on my way to explaining my reasoning behind why I associate it with Four. It might seem irrelevant at first but trust me, I’ll get there.

(All the stuff I mention here is all explained in a much better fashion by the artist behind Sleeping At Last on his podcast episode about the song here. I'd absolutely recommend giving it a listen if you're interested!)

Cassini was written about a satellite with the same name that was built with the intention of exploring Saturn. On September 15, 2017, its journey was complete and its course was set to crash into Saturn in a brilliant grand finale. Hence the name of the song.

This song is a medley of four of Sleeping At Last’s songs, written as a mirror of the exact flight path of the Cassini satellite. (SAL has songs about each of the 9 planets + our moon.)

The song starts and ends with Saturn. The beginning is a chorus singing the tune of SAL's "Saturn" and the ending is that the song on the "Astronomy, Vol. 1" album leads straight into SAL’s "Saturn" to symbolize Cassini crashing into the planet. Cool, right?

After the opening the song crescendos with SAL’s "Earth" to represent Cassini’s launch. Cassini passed by Venus twice in its flight, so the part of the song immediately after that is from SAL's "Venus". The next part of the song (and ofc the next part of Cassini’s flight) is Jupiter! It’s very faint and distant since Cassini only passed by the planet. Aaand then finally it reaches Saturn.

Now what does any of this have to do with Four?

Welllllll, it's all a bit of a stretch but LET ME HAVE THIS hdgjhkjdwef.

I mentioned that Cassini is a medley of 4 different SAL songs.

Venus could easily be associated with Red! It’s a love song and love of course comes from the heart and all that. But it’s also a song that reflects wonder and awe and I feel like that’s a very Red feeling.

Jupiter is a song I associate a lot with Green, not only because of the song itself but also because of the planet and Green’s wind element. Jupiter is well-known for its storms! So it seems fitting for Green. Jupiter is one of the songs I have on my separate playlist for Green too. It has vibes of instinct and wanting to make things count and make a difference which I feel like fits him.

I feel like Saturn and Earth are interchangeable with Blue and Vio. I’d probably tentatively assign Blue to Earth and Vio to Saturn for now despite Earth being Vio’s element and me generally associating that song with him a lot more than Blue anyway. Saturn is a song about loss and trying to move on and I think Vio encompasses that feeling and experience. It’s very melancholy and slower-paced too, which fits Vio more. Whereas Earth is a very powerful, somewhat explosive song (which fits Blue’s vibe) about ignorance and possibly arrogance. ALSO if you go with Blue as Earth then it works even nicer because Earth and Venus are woven together very closely in Cassini. Which could represent how Blue & Red are both the "heart" of Four compared to Vio's mind and Green's instinct.

And ALL of these songs are packed into Cassini into a convenient little medley. Four songs blending seamlessly into one another creating a whole song that makes me want to throw my hands in the air and weep.

And how perfect that the day Steel sent this ask is coincidentally the anniversary of the day the song is about. jhkqdwfgehf. It was meant to be :>

[stray-tori]

TPN S02E04 - Initial Thoughts (anime-only)

viewing + post-ep talk with my friends: Google Drive (sorry, youtube denied me again)

(i) Translations are in the English (USA) CC (including the english bits as well for those who struggle with the audio/language, etc.)

pls validate my efforts and watch it.

there’s some anime-only talk about the adaptation towards the end, I wasn’t trying to be arrogant, just mention it to my friends based on some things I’d heard and without spoiling them about what is different that I do know of specifically. But if you want to avoid that, feel free to!

I definitely said it a bit too in favor of the anime, and obviously my friends’ just got my simplified thoughts on it? Like when they said it makes sense for the anime to move on quicker, but that’s not really what’s different. 

So yeah, please forgive the dubious things in that segment, I really just didn’t think about my words a lot.

.

. Random thoughts

The fish bug scenes were delightful TvT Also the animation during them trying to grab them???

The OST during Isabella’s scenes???? take me

I think we also heard the OST sneak peak from a while ago during the cave confrontation with the army force human

Don is a useless nightwatch, goddamn it Don

Don is an epic chairman.

Loved the shot of Ray shooting at the big demon (why didn’t Emma get a cool shot? :THONK:), very dynamic, very epic.

Also them running together to push the man off the cliff was... something haha.

I’m losing my mind that we’re actually just ending on the way ep1 started. Same animation loops too, eh. to be expected, and obviously adjusted for different clothing and items but. still as someone who wants to praise for not re-using animation, rip.

EMMA HAVING SLEEPING CHILDREN AROUND HER AWWWW

Eyy Ray took a bath with the others too, yay

.

. The bunker

So, the twist was that there was really.... no twist at all. Minerva was a good guy, he tried his best, he got discovered and chased.

And yet, I don’t think the bunker was previously discovered by the farms, which would at least warrant a “scare” like that, effectively making it a trap. They may have been aware of a shelter’s existence, but I don’t think they’ve been there before.

You could probably assume that the Troup that attacked our characters may have also removed the previous escapees from the scene --- but if that was the case, why leave all of the letters and other things in place. Not getting there immediately is understandable, they seem to arrived by foot (what? do you plan to keep an eye on the children the whole like 5 day march back or however long it took?? dang). So that’s not it.

So: what caused the HELPs? the person writing in the book seems to have been abandoned or more likely, are the only survivor of their group (maybe the only person in the group at all). Now it’d be an option for them to have found this safe haven and decided to just spend their days there, slowly losing their minds and doing the things on the wall. But then the message in the book, on the other hand, seems traumatized and sad, but not as lost as the carvings on the wall.

So either, they calmed down after going crazy and then once they did, they decided to leave.

Or it’s from two different people (or multiple), the one after the “HELP” one probably leaving the uplifting message in the book nearby of the scribbles.

I’m not sure which I’d find more likely, but all in all, I’m not sure why they didn’t just have the demons already know of the place and just have the letter (they probably wouldn’t have searched everything in the place) not be as obviously placed and then boom, they could still have made all discoveries they needed and when they found the help wall, it would have been from children trapped in the room while the men searched the bunker, wanting help.

* Clearly that’s not what they were going for, since there’s also day-counting things, but even that you could have explained by saying, they missed a child and the other escapees convinced them that they died, somehow and so they were left behind, traumatized by their friends being taken back and giving up for a while. It still runs into the same “but how can it be the same person?” doubt that my friend brought up, but I think that it’d justify the shock value of the wall more. Still not really making the whole “HELP” thing add up though, since that just sounds like there’s an immediate threat, when there isn’t. The only other thing I can think of is that the entire wall wasn’t one instance, so the counting could be solitude, the HELPs acute danger and the names probably also solitude. The drawing on the right also makes me think it was probably a child as well, fairly young. Poor kid.

Unless there’s something more to it I feel like it makes a little more sense, but still not a lot (WHY’D YOU LEAVE YOUR SNACKS, BRO) but seeing as we’ve left, I don’t think we’ll get to know.

.

I’m assuming the way the farm knew now is either a) they were aware but didn’t see any reason to go there unless there were children there, b) they saw the coordinate carvings (thanks Ray) or c) the pursuers contacted the farms (which would make sense, and again, thanks Ray).

.

.. the farm has a military force???

I also find it kind of funny that the farms have a military force??? Because so far, we’ve never seen them use guns to do anything. Which makes me think they might not be farm-intern but from an outside force, maybe the humans who are more “on-level” with them?

Like, what do they do all day. They’re probably not part of the buff demon guards and.... idk man haha-

.

. Isabella

Ahh I was happy to see her! I was even happier to be like “hah, prison. Knew it.” and then later reacting to the offer, even though that wasn’t exactly what I called, but damn. the pride. my fucking expression too lol, i couldn’t hide it at all pff.

Her jump in motivation is a little weird, but I do see it as, someone who has basically accepted their fate, and when that gets challenged, the will to live takes over. 

I’m also not quite sure how she’s supposed to capture them if she can’t leave?

And then of course there’s whatever they promised her aside from “freedom” (which, if that just means being let outside, good luck ma’am there’s demons everywhere) - or is the transportation to the human world included? :D

Based on her clothing in the OP, I might have guessed it’d be “become a grandma” but that doesn’t really go well with the promise of freedom so.... I don’t know where that entire thing is going pff-

We don’t know a lot about what drives Isabella but one of the few things we do know is a) will to live and b) Leslie (????), hence the lullaby in “stressful” situations.

She already got the will to live with the baseline deal, so the only thing I can think of that would make her react more than freedom would be that Leslie’s alive and she can see him if she helps.

I’m not sure if she’s interested in anything else, like how the world works or what she can do for anyone, like.... hm. Of course it could totally be something that we just don’t know yet but yeah I guess that’s my guess.

They probably won’t give up Ray and seeing as she’s more concerned about his brain than anything, I don’t think even if they did allow her to take him with her, it probably wouldn’t mean a lot to her. Plus, why lose another high quality cattle.

I guess it could be, she did seem she wanted to be a proper mother figure, but idk something tells me it’s probably not something like that.

It would also be more “???” than “OHHH” of an reveal. Then again, Leslie is also an obvious choice so.

Maybe it’s something entirely new, we’ll see :D

.

. The possibily wrong date

So when Anna writes a journal thingy, we see this

And, well, their escape happened in January 2046, so... for that to be true, somewhere along the line, an entire year would have had to pass.

I’m assume this is a production error because

they didn’t get to harvest once

they wouldn’t wait a year to talk about the plan to go back

Ray wouldn’t need an ear patch for so long, he only has a cut

the montage only showed 22nd and 23rd, if an entire year had passed, we’d have been shown more varied dates, etc.

then it makes even less sense for why the army shows up one year later out of nowhere :D

...

Smh, CloverWorks, what can you even do right.

.

Yee, thanks for reading!

[ziracona]

hey zira, what are your hot takes on all of the fo4 companions?

Haha, I don’t know how hot they are, but I can give you a speed run! (Also I am very excited to get this. FO4 was the first open world game I ever played and just the concept of that and the hugeness of the world and branching story & sudden feeling changes towards me in companion characters totally blew my mind, & it still lives rent free in my heart).

Ada, Old Longfellow, and Strong I /still/ haven’t maxed despite having too many hundred hours to want to list on this game—the former bc they were DLC, Strong because honest to god I left him at a nice settlement and then completely forgot about him and remembering that I am the energy in this Ryan O’Flanagan video but abt leaving my super mutant in a tiny settlement alone. I will get there! To max affinity I mean. But anyway, I don’t truly know those three, so my takes are incomplete. So far though, I really like Ada. She is a good girl just trying her best. Fucks me up I can tell her to self destruct. Even though I feel sure she would ignore me, I cannot imagine ever saying that to her. It was really sweet she was willing to forgive the Mechanist and move on with her life. A good girl. Longfellow I am maxing rn (was last time I played anyhow). I enjoy him. Gruff grumpy old man but he seems quite decent and I like his idle banter and when he sings to himself a lot. Seems like he’s had it rough. Strong I liked. He’s wild, and I loved how insane meeting him was, and am worried about him eventually understanding poetry and how that might mess up his sense of world understanding. But he’s a chill dude in his own way and I am glad they gave us at least one nice super mutant.

For the companions I actually do know like the back of my hand, the speedrun:

Nick Valentine: Best man on earth. One of two fictional characters I ever called husband. I would die kill or live for him. I want to be 1/4th the man Nick Valentine is. One of the best characters ever period and I adore literally everything about him. It fucked me up early in game where right after he offered to basically risk destroying his mind to help a stranger look for her son, he asked me how I was doing. First character in the entire game to do that. His first companion dialogue is abt how you’re doing TuT. The man is very kind and forgiving and fair, but knows when the draw the line and take no shit. Emotionally mature, kind, caring, longsuffering. Incredibly damaged and broken by life, but holding on and living kindly and to help others anyway. One of the four most marryablen fictional men I’ve ever seen.

Preston Garvey: Brave, kind, sweet man. I would defend him with my life. He really just wants so bad to make the world better and life has been so hard, but he’s still trying. A beautiful and underrated companion and I would throw hands for him on sight. I adore how he whistles. A true and gentle and loyal friend. Take him to Quincy and let him get his justice it’s what he deserves. People who hate him because he tries to get help helping civilians in that game are weak. I love him so much... please give him enough time to reach max affinity he’s so worth it.

Deacon: *To the tune of You Are My Dad* You are my friiiiend! You’re my friend! (Boogie woogie woogie). Initially, he pissed me off bc he lies all the god damn time, but after we got close enough he actually trusted me, he stole my heart and I would also die for Deacon. He’s a really good person who thinks he’s shit because of who he was on his past. Also him 🤝 Preston: massive survivor’s guilt. They should be friends. Poor Deacon has been the last member of the Railroad like four times, and it’s awful. Help him. Give him love and support. He’s one of my all time faves. Also, Railroad hands down best faction and if you kill them for any reason other than like a walkthrough route video and I ever get the chance I would 100% clock you in the face as hard as I can, like going for losing teeth, and feel no guilt. I know it’s a game and that’s wrong, and I’d be wrong, but I’d still do it. Also, Ryan Alosio (his VA) saw me do cosplay for Deacon once and told me it was great and it filled me with even more love. Anyway Deacon is great. Also, his whole “There are other organisations out there. And, in time, I'm sure they're going to spoon-feed you their own patented form of bullshit. Ignore the verbage and look at what they're doing. What they're asking you to do. What sort of world they'd have you build and how they're going to pay for it.” Is one of the like, two most iconic quotes in all of FO4 & just super good in general.

Hancock: Hardcore badass man but also a good dude and a champion for the people. Man really puts his money where his mouth is and you gotta respect that; another favorite companion for sure. Big fan of the way he stabs a guy for you upon meeting, and is a cool leader who organized his crime and does a decent job actually leading. He works hard to help people and bites back hard. Social justice advocate, dangerous man about town, not afraid to cosplay a revolutionary war hero 24/7 & u gotta respect the no fucks given attitude. A chill dude. Like that he fights the institute, hates the Brotherhood, helps the Railroad, and is friends with Nick. He’s legit af. Also, his VA gives a different answer every time someone asks him about the voice he did for hancock and they’re funny af.

Piper Wright: A cool spunky lady. Lois Lane on the case, kicking butt, and taking name. She’s nice but also hardcore and smart, supportive, fun. A good person. You always get points if you like Nick (which most companions do), and they’re good friends. She’s funny and I love her. A good heart.

Codsworth: He’s great. He’s family. He’s like my...weird brother. Getting to max affinity is heartwarming and also makes my heart go :’-] . Great early-game companion bc he kicks ass and doesn’t need stims to heal. I love getting called by my name and think that was a great feature (well, my PC’s name). He’s a wonderful funky little robot dude and I am so glad he likes me.

Dogmeat: Amazing. A good boy. Doggo of the year. His actor deserved the game award she won. Cute, full of love, and plays with a teddy bear if you give him one. 100/10z

Cait: I like her a lot. She’s been through so much shit, and it makes sense she is how she is. I like they actually gave her an emaciated and messy (though still pretty) design, since she is a drug addict. And that they make her main quest about taking that seriously and wanting to get help, and that she’ll call out the player if they fuck around and do drugs in front of her after she gets rehabilitated. Her relationship to the PC if good is really sweet, and I am a fan. I like that while she’s not sympathetic to synths and thinks they aren’t people, she forgets that every time Nick walks into a room and is like “Oh hey Nicky : )”. She’s a good girl who has been through a lot and still needs time to heal and find herself, but she’s making great strides.

Robert Joseph MacCready: Human disaster (loving). Homeboy a goddamn /mess/ but I love him. He tries so hard to be cool. I love he makes you pay him to come with, then chickens out and gives it back lol. A fool ball of anxiety and bad decisions and what he thinks brovado is. I wish he, Preston, and Deacon would quit fighting, bc I am always like “ :’-] </3 Boys Please” when they swap out, but I love them just the same. He’s doing his best, he’s just stupid and a fool. Like Philip J Fry. Keeping his goddamn soldier toy, which somehow is listed as junk instead of sent to Misc with quest items where it would be fine, safe?parylizes me with fear. I’ve lost 2 hours of gameplay reloading an old save bc I accidentally lost it.

X6-88: A more complex one to answer about. He’s bad, but like, I’m pretty sympathetic to how he got that way. He was created in a lab and had his emotions mostly dragged out of him in intense psychologically damaging training so he would be a weapon and view himself as an object. I was relieved he chose me over the institute even if he wasn’t a fan of the chocie, and think that means there’s a lot of hope for him. Wish he’d chill the fuck out and quit intimidating civilians for 6 god damn seconds, but I like him. I bring him fancy lad snack cakes home from travels all the time, bc Synths are supposed to like them. Really like that he’s the /most/ sympathetic companion towards Danse in Blind Betrayal, even though he should not be programmed for that, and Danse hated him and made it clear any time they interacted.

(EDIT) Curie: I FORGOT HER BABY IM SO SORRY. I like Curie a lot, despite the fact I temporarily forgot she existed. I stg I thought she was in here. Uhhh, okay. Curie: like her character and personality, HUGE un-fan of both the way her desire to get a synth body is to be ‘more real,’ as if Codsworth isn’t a fully realized person while the same robot type she is, instead of just like. Because it would make her happy. ALSO hate how much of a Born Sexy Yesterday she is, even intentionally in not-determinate affinity talks. It’s gross. But her herself, I like a lot. She’s my daughter and I will protect her. She works at The Castle right now as their on-site medic.

Paladin Danse: I know I’m gonna take heat for this but honestly? He didn’t do much for me. I like that he looks and sounds kinda like Buzz Lightyear, and that’s fun, but idk at all why people think he’s so hot. He’s very boring & generic looking to me. Like you’re valid! Taste all be different. But he doesn’t do it for me personally in looks or personality. I don’t at all like, hate him. Or even dislike. Tbh I am fairly neutral on him. It was funny making affinity with him though. Every other companion I had maxed, I liked more and more with each affinity talk. They’d be like “So my dad was a minuteman and died and I want to honor him” or “I just want to really feel like I’m a person, for real, myself, and I am glad I met you, because the good we have achieved together is ours, even if I can’t be sure of anything else,” or “My brother threw the cultural minorities out of our city for clout bc the rich citizens were all racist, and I tried to help—I snuck them food to the unsafe ruins they set up in for weeks, but eventually, they just vanished, and I still bear immense guilt and self-hatred over not having stopped that.” And Danae’s would be like “One time a buddy of mine got kidnapped by super mutants. They turned him into one of them, and they’re all abominations, so I killed him and it made me really sad.” And I was just like “...Oh danse. I really wanted to like you more. But what the fuck.” His relationship to Haylen is sweet though. And ofc I saved him in Blind Betrayal. I blew up the Prydwin so he’s safe now too, and he lives in the garden by my house and tells me how glad he is we’re friends, and I’m p into that. Overall, my feelings on him are not strong at all though.

Porter Gage: Not a fan. Like, I appreciated he helped me kill the old boss, sure. And bc I owed him for that, I went to max affinity to see what there was to him as a person. And like, as far as raiders go, he was okay. But he wasn’t deeply sympathetic, and he’s a slaver, and if you try to liberate the slaves he and the others own, he /will/ turn on and attempt to murder you immediately, no matter how close you were, so he made his choice, and it was to be a bad person and an asshole to the last. Really enjoyed the VA’s work a lot on him tho.

And there you have it 👈👈😎. Thanks for asking!

[dickytwister]

HEY do you maybe have like an oc page or could you tell me something about all your ocs because i'm Interested and you have my full attention :eyes:

AHSJDKGLHL that's so sweet i'm nfjghl???? i don't have an oc page bc i'm the embodiment of an old man being given an iphone after 50 years of using a rotary phone but !!! i can yell abt them a bit aaa thank you for asking abt them 🥺🥺💚

i put everything under the cut bc dear god i have a lot to say abt my kids and i'm not gonna make everyone scroll through that HHHHHH haw 🤠🤠

elliot fletcher

- he's my deputy in fc5!! he's from waverly in iowa and he's just...very tired nfjfkhl give my poor man a break

- everytime his radio crackles he ages 10 years and if it's john talking add another 10 years

- he keeps the three heralds alive but he doesn't care abt joseph <3

- gets in trouble bc he's impulsive af nfjghl when jacob is close to the cage?? ram his face in the bars. when john leans like rlly close in the confession scene?? headbutt 😌🙏🏼

- the only people who know abt his past are earl, grace, faith and john, the rest just kinda speculate and elliot lets them believe what they want bc not only does he rlly not want ppl to know the actual truth, it's also very funny to listen to the stuff they can come up with

- speaking of faith he often seeks her for advice and sometimes they get high together and he gets teary eyed bc she's just... very nice to him and when all you see everyday is violence it's overwhelming to be shown a little bit of kindness 🥲🙏🏼

- he's in love with john but also he'd kick him across the county if he could but also he'd give his life for him

- after the bombs and all he unlocks his final form and becomes A Husband™, complete with a beard, a scarf and bad jokes that make john want to officially marry him so he can divorce his ass

- fun fact i came up with the name elliot fletcher bc i thought it sounded neat but recently i found out there's a trans actor called elliot fletcher too??? like what were the odds ngl that's so cool

carter quill

- this is my character in the marvel dnd game my brother is dming!!

- his parents are peter quill and kitty pryde and he inherited his mom's powers (so he can become immaterial and stuff uwu) and his dad's tiny pebble brain~

- he grew up on a ship with the guardians so his family is just... a bunch of uncles, one of which is a tree

- he's part of an initiative called the peacekeepers with isaaq cage (luke cage's and jessica jones' son), finneas "zorn" reeves (brock rumlow's and sinthea shmidt's son), lu "highway star" khan (the mandarin's son), alexis "hex" pythagoras (doctor strange's protégé) and ev-lin (ronan the destroyer's daughter who also happens to be carter's bully when they were 11 HHHHHH)

- everyone agrees that carter is just... a puppy. a little labrador. so overexcited. head empty. he doesn't know what's going on but he's having fun with his friends and that's what matters <3

- he died once and went to hell for like 66 years bc he held a bomb while it was exploding but he got better and he doesn't remember most of his time in hell but also he's a lil traumatised

- he wears cute skirts sometimes and also froggie themed clothes 🥰🥰 he's terrible at applying nail polish and it ends up smudged most of the time bc he can't sit still for more than two minutes without going insane but he still likes it

- he has a pet bird called ink!! he thought it was a nice name bc his last name is quill so u know,,, ink,,, quill,,,, he inherited his dad's terrible humor also

- he's fruity and has a big fat crush on one of his teammates 😳😳👉🏼👈🏼

- he strictly refuses to kill, so he uses stunt energy guns and a three section staff to fight!! he accidentally killed someone once and threw up

- he knows asl and is fluent in it!! he's also very bad at reading measurements when cooking (and reading in general) so he relies on their proto-ai, dadji, to help him cook and he listens to audiobooks a lot!!

- idk what else to say abt him except like two games ago he was in the hospital bc lu got hurt and he wanted to get him muffins from a coffee shop across the streets but he panicked when faced with the selection so he bought one of each and came back to the hospital room with like,,,, twenty muffins

- i found this pic of his face claim and it honestly just radiates his vibe so here have it

thorgran galvish

- he's my dwarf enchanter from another homebrew dnd game!! in this universe (and maybe others idk shit abt actual dnd HHHH forgive me) enchanter dwarves are lowkey enslaved bc of their rare link with magic

- thorgran blew up a wall and ran away to the surface so now he's a fugitive and he's constantly on the run uwu trust issues ensue

- he loves the sky so much?? especially at night?? he knows abt constellations, but he thinks they're just whatever you see in the stars and doesn't know there are like,,, actual constellations so he sits on the roof of a tall building sometimes and finds his own constellations

- he also tries to draw them but he rlly sucks at it aslkdsgl that doesn't stop him from filling his journal with little stars and drawings!!

- during my very first game with him he found his rival, who turned out to be a 16 years old teenager?? millennial/gen z rivalry

- agh i don't have much abt him yet bc i've only just started to play him but he's my beefiest boy and also a dilf 🥰🥰

theadric "elder" montajay

- yet another character from the same universe as thorgran, but this time it's a funky little halfling bard

- his instrument is the violin!! he tried every other instrument and his mom was very supportive despite how bad he was at all of them. his community was raided and his father died, so he inherited his violin and that turned out to be the only instrument he could play

- took his love of the economy to the next level when he decided to fuck every gang leader he could find to control their operations and ruin their organizations so the money they hoarded could be put back in circulation

- accidentally fell in love with a half-orc gang leader and was abt to tell him the truth abt what he was doing but was exposed by the first person he'd cheated so he had to run without explaining himself to his lover smh ://

- "i don't wanna fall in the slutty bard cliché," i say before immediately giving elder the tightest leather pants and opening his shirt to show his majestic chest hair.

- surprisingly good with kids?? anyone younger than him who looks sad becomes His Child and he turns into a lil mama, tasting the food of an inn first to assure it's not poisoned, giving hugs, soft shit like that ngl he's just a mom 😔😔

- we abandoned the game he was in but we left off when he'd just escaped a dwarven prison with his new child and others owo anyway slutty bard with chest hair?? that's just the witcher's jaskier

scylla

- my gay pirate lady!! i don't have much abt her either bc AAA BRAINROT but !!! i still love her very much

- she's a hybrid between a human and a psaarinch (fish folks in our homebrew universe uwu) and she looks very human except she has like shark abilities?? she can smell blood, taste with her skin, breathe underwater for like two hours or smth, sharper teeth,,

- she started off as a privateer but like what was the kingdom gonna do?? track her down to make sure everything she did was legal?? nah man she got that sweet fleet and became a pirate

- she beats men up in inns and gives their wives a good time <3

- she's very close to her crew and they're kinda just a big family

- she fights with those s-shaped staffs?? but they're actually blades ngfhl she's very agile and looks like she's dancing when she's actually fighting

- fun fact she's my second shark oc the first one was called maito and she was a yellow lantern in a dc game we did (the main difference between them is that maito loved men while scylla is very much a lesbian 😌🙏🏼)

i have like so many more of them but that's already such a long post and i don't wanna do too much NGL if u wanna know more hmu i'll yell some more 😎😎🙏🏼🙏🏼

[purplefairywriter]

Shadow in Flames pt. 1

Summary: Rogue!Suga/Yoongi x herbalist Y/N. When your life gets saved by a rogue, your life is changed in ways you never would have expected… This mostly sets things up so don’t be disappointed. 2.5 k words BTS fantasy / Dungeons & Dragons AU. Also please forgive my crappy thumbnail I just really kind of wanted to get this out in time for a certain birthday or something, idk~ _____________________________________________________ Yoongi stood in the alleyway. He watched some pickpockets go by, just enjoying the sparse quietness that the night brought him. The hood over his head and his quiet nature afforded him the joy of being left alone. No one bothered mysterious men as long as they stayed quiet. It was a lesson he had learned a while ago. As well as a lesson that he kept well. No one needed to notice Yoongi. He was of no importance. Some part of him liked that, liked being of so little import that people could choose to ignore him. He sat in that alleyway nearly every night, just to watch people, enjoy the moonlight, and stay nice and warm under his hooded cloak during the winter without having to stay cooped up in a seedy inn room. The sound of a knife unsheathing some distance away made him leap unto his feet. He looked over to see a grown man aiming the knife at a cowering child. “I’ll pay you back, I promise!” The child cried. “You lousy brat, you haven’t been able to steal anything for two weeks now! What did I ever hire you for?” The man asked, his words slurring. Yoongi walked over to the pair and tapped the man on the shoulder. The man turned around with a growl.  “What are you doing talking to my son like that?” Yoongi asked his hand on his knife’s handle. The man looked at the kid then back at Yoongi. “Then why are you lettin’ him roam the streets and work for me? Some moron idiot father you are.” The boy looked up at Yoongi, visibly frightened. Yoongi had never seen the boy before in his life. But Yoongi knew what it was like to deal with angry, cutthroat criminal scum like the man standing in front of him as a child. “Leave the boy alone. How much does he owe you?” Yoongi asked. He kept his hand on his knife, ready to draw in case the criminal lashed out. “50 gold.” The man grumbled. Yoongi pulled out his coin purse and nearly handed it to the man. “It’s between me and the brat. I don’t want your blood money.” The man turned back to the boy, his anger growing. “I could’ve made twice as much profit this week if I didn’t have to feed you. I should’ve let you rot!” The man raised one hand, tightly gripping a knife over his head as the child screamed. Yoongi managed to pull out his knife and stabbed the man in the shoulder, which reduced the man to a crumpled heap of pain on the alleyway path. Yoongi knew the blow would not kill the man unless he decided to lie there and bleed to death. The worst it would do was make it hard for the man to ever stab someone else ever again. Yoongi grabbed the child’s arm and dragged him out of the alleyway and towards safety. The rogue only stopped running when he knew they were a good distance away. He stopped for a moment to let the boy catch his breath before questioning him.  “What are you doing on the street dealing with a man like that?” Yoongi asked. The boy stared at Yoongi’s face as if he could see the expression on the older man’s face under the darkness of his hood. Yoongi sighed. He looked up and down the desolate alleyway before leaning down to the boy’s eye level. “Look, I know you’re afraid. I’ve had to deal with hundreds of men just like that one in my lifetime. Never turns out pleasant, I can tell you that.” “You could be just as bad as he is!” The boy stated with a passion that made Yoongi chuckle. “Yes, I could. But I’m not.” “Yeah? Prove it.” Yoongi laughed at the boy’s bravado. “If I take my hood off, will you trust me then?” The boy frowned a bit at the thought. Slowly but surely the boy nodded. The rogue knelt down to the boy’s eye level as the boy froze. Yoongi sighed as he let down the hood of his cloak. It was an open secret there was a half-elf wandering the streets. In a mostly human town, anything remote Elvish got looked down at. The human population was divided between people who were strongly anti-elf and people who couldn’t care less. Yoongi’s slightly pointed ears seemed to have no effect on the boy. The rogue’s smile and warm brown eyes did. The boy smiled. “What are you?” The boy asked. Yoongi laughed. Of course, the boy had never seen an elf before, left alone an elf mongrel like him. “Well… I’m a half-elf, half-human.” “Oh.” The boy pouted a bit. “You sure you aren’t full elf? Mom says that elves are just fairy tale creatures who save people from monsters.” Yoongi wrinkled his nose at hearing half of his heritage was being relegated to ‘creature’. The boy gave an awkward laugh. “I was only sayin’ that because you saved me from Jennings, that’s all.” The boy said. Yoongi patted the boy on the shoulder before the sound of distant footsteps made him put his hood back up. “Look, kid, keep this whole thing between us, yes? I think the last thing we both need is the town guard knocking on our doors, asking us what happened tonight.” Yoongi said as he stretched. “Okay. Do I have to keep quiet about the fact I met an elf or can I tell my friends? Scott just last week was talking about he saw this great big el-” “Especially the elf part, kid. You should keep elves as fairy tale creatures. Okay?” The boy crossed his arms as if that would change Yoongi’s mind. Yoongi stared at the boy until the boy sighed in defeat and uncrossed his arms. “Now let me walk you home,” Yoongi said. Yoongi stood back up. He began to walk towards the alleyway’s entrance and out onto the street. The boy stood, pouting. “What’s wrong?” “… I’m afraid to go home.” The boy said. “I’m sure your parents won’t be mad.” Yoongi did not know this to be true but still said it nonetheless. “I’m sure they’ll be overjoyed that you’re home safe and sound.” “My mom is sick. My dad left us when I was little. The doctor refuses to see her unless we pay him and we didn’t have any money so I came out here and I was going to-” The boy began. His words became more choked up as he began to cry. Yoongi frowned as he felt a wave of empathy wash over him. The boy began to sniffle as a tear ran down his face. Yoongi stared at the child, unsure of what to do or say to make him feel less melancholy. An ingenious idea hit Yoongi as he broke out in a grin. “Maybe, if you promise me not to go out on the streets again looking for money and the trouble that comes with money… I’ll see if I can’t help your mother out, huh?” The boy burst into a huge smile that spanned nearly ear to ear. “How… why would you do that?” “No one should go sick, starving or living on the street because of who they are or where they come from. As long as you promise not to go out on the streets again.” Yoongi said. “I promise!” The boy exclaimed. “Anything to make my mom better!” Yoongi smiled softly at the boy’s words. He knew the mother would probably not agree to his help but it was worth a shot. “Come on, let’s get you home,” Yoongi said as he and the boy finally exited out of the alleyway and onto the street.  _____________________________________________________ Yoongi and the boy approached the house. The boy eagerly knocked on the door before Yoongi even got the chance to think of doing so. The door immediately opened to a woman, pale and gaunt, who looked like an older but more feminine version of the boy. She gasped in delight at the sight of her son before leaning down and hugging him. “I’ve been looking for you these past few days!” She said, half chiding and half thankful. When she pulled away from the hug, she cupped her son’s face. “Don’t you dare ever do that again, do you understand me?” “Yes, ma.” The boy said. “I was only trying to get enough money so you could see the doctor!” “I told you, we can’t afford a doctor. Don’t worry, it’s just a cold, it’ll go away soon.” She said. Yoongi noticed she was trying to sound optimistic but the look in her eyes told him she knew otherwise. “But he can!” The boy looked over at Yoongi. The woman finally looked up at Yoongi and slowly stood up. She eyed him with heavy suspicion. A look that Yoongi knew too well. “Who are you?” She asked, her tone tinted with fear. “He saved me from having to steal for the rest of my life, ma.” The boy said. “If you refuse his help, momma, I’ll go right back out on the street.” Yoongi and the mother’s jaw dropped at the boy’s threat. They looked at each other before looking back at the boy. “No, you won’t do such a thing, do you understand?” The mother said. “You will stay right here or… or… I’ll ship you off to go live with orcs!” “Awesome!” The boy said, oblivious to the fact that what his mother had proposed was a punishment. “No, not awesome! Just… go to bed, we’ll have a talk about how you shouldn’t threaten your own mother or run away from home later.” The mother’s stern tone came out in a way that made the boy sigh and walk towards the other part of the house. The mother sighed as he went out of earshot. She coughed before speaking again. “I’m so sorry for your trouble, sir.” “It was no trouble, madam,” Yoongi said, straining to come off as polite as he could. “I thank you for bringing my son back but I cannot accept your charity.” “Please.” Yoongi’s desperate plea, while only one word, made her close her eyes.“I can’t take your money. If I do, you’ll…” She said. Yoongi felt his heart drop into his stomach with the knowledge he knew what she was going to say. “I won’t. I know I’m nothing but a rogue but… I had a mother too. I lost her when I was young. Some sickness, probably very much like the one you have, madam.” Yoongi said with a frown. The memory was still crisp in his mind despite it happening over a century ago. “I… I’m sorry to hear that.” The mother said before she coughed again. She turned her head away from the door frame as she did so. “I won’t take advantage of you or your son. I only want to help. I only want to keep another person from ending up living on the streets like me.” Yoongi pleaded. The woman sighed. “Okay. I’ll trust you. But I swear if you as much as look at my son or I the wrong way, I’ll-” “Have me skinned alive and made into armor,” Yoongi said in a joking manner that managed to make the woman chuckle. “The only problem is none of the doctors will come out here because it’s too…” The mother said, letting her words drift off as she looked down the rundown street and buildings. “I know a doctor. Very good quality doctor, very discreet. Very good bedside manner, hard to find in most doctors nowadays. They know herbs and the fancy college stuff. I’ve known them for years and I will vouch for them with my own life if needed. That is if you don’t mind me procuring a doctor for you as well as paying for it, madam.” Yoongi said. Replace years with maybe half a century or more, and replace ‘a doctor’ with ‘a family of doctors’, then I’m not lying too badly, am I? He thought with a chuckle. “That’ll do.” The woman said with a shrug. “I’ve never seen a doctor before in my life, so I have no idea what to look for in one. I’ll be here all day tomorrow but I work as a fruit vendor on Wednesdays, Fridays, and Saturdays.” “I’ll remember that, madam. If you don’t mind, I’ll come back to notify you of when the appointment is. I’ll try to get one for tomorrow.” Yoongi said. The woman nodded with a faint smile. They both said goodnight to each other before he turned away as if to leave. Then he felt the tug of guilt at his heartstrings. He turned back around to face her. “Here.” He said, pulling out a small bag of about twenty gold coins. “Food for you and the boy, madam.” The woman stood there with her arms crossed staunchly for a moment. Yoongi still handed her the bag. After a moment she took the bag gently. “Thank you, sir. I don’t know how I can ever repay you.” The woman said with tears in her eyes. “Let me help you. That’s the only repayment I need.” Yoongi said. “If you ever need me, go to the tavern down the road and ask for sugar. They’ll let me know.” The woman thanked him again before she closed the door. Yoongi walked down the street and into his inn to try and get some rest. _____________________________________________________ Yoongi waited until the next morning to go see his trusted doctor. He had known this doctor’s family for ages, ever since he was nothing but a scrawny teenager. Now he was well over a hundred years old but still looked like he was about twenty-five years old. He forgot how his relationship with the family began but knew it was started cordially enough. As he walked towards the doctor’s place of work which doubled as their home, Yoongi sighed. He walked up to the door and cracked his knuckles before knocking. “I’ll be right there!” A voice cried. Yoongi smiled at the sound of that voice. Although it was faint, it sounded melodic. Eventually, he heard a set of footsteps rushing towards the door. When the door was opened, Yoongi stood there staring at the person who had answered the door. Everything about her seemed to carry this air of kindness, even he could not properly explain it. The way she smiled at him as she opened the door, the color of her hair, the fact she looked up at him despite him wearing a hood… It was enough to drive him mad. And her eyes! Her eyes were somehow unlike anything he had ever seen before, so radiant that he thought they were blessed by the sun itself. “Hi. I’m Y/N! What’s your name?” She asked, her enthusiastic tone failing to force him into speaking. “I… um…” Yoongi stammered. “I’m here to see the doctor?” “She’s in the back. I’ll be right back!” Y/N said before closing the door. To be continued~

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #276

“all the other kids with the pumped up kicks, you better run, better run, outrun my gun.”

Favorite dried fruit? Dried fruit is fucking disgusting. Would you rather wear a dress or a suit on your wedding day? A dress. If you chose dress, will it be long or short? I prefer longer wedding dresses. If you chose suit, will you wear a bow or a tie? Hypothetically I’d wear a tie, probably. Have you ever wanted to be a police officer? No. Do you have a nut allergy? No. Do you accessories with chains? Put chains on fucking EVERYTHING and it is an improvement. How often do you cook dinner? If you’re excluding the microwave, like… never. What have you given up on recently? Nothing important; the only thing I can think of applies to a game. I was after the way-too-fucking-expensive dinosaur mount that is very soon going away in World of Warcraft, but the stress it was causing me wasn’t worth it. The time investment and how it was only a “maybe” of getting it in time Favorite condiment for fries? Ketchup. Ever had bangs? I did as a little kid. Do you know any Italian people? Well yeah, people of Italian descent are common in the U.S. I don’t know like, someone straight from Italy though. Have you ever dated someone LGBTQ+? Yeah, a demisexual. What color would you like your future bathroom to be? Uh… I don’t really care. It would depend on the house. Do you add sugar to plain cornflakes? No. Are skeletons cool? Skellyboiz are dope. Favorite Selena Gomez song? I don’t know any. Do you like coffee flavored cake? I don’t like coffee, so guess. Is that even a thing, though? Do you still watch your favorite kid shows/cartoons? I don’t watch TV. I would though, sure. Do you like going on walks? What's your favorite thing about them? How far do you normally walk? Ugh this question is gonna be embarrassing considering I went through muscle atrophy in my legs from being so sedentary. When we move (HOPEFULLY the start of October, a wrench was kinda thrown in our plans), I intend to absolutely start walking in small intervals now that we’ll be in a nice little neighborhood with a sidewalk. And a PokeStop nearby to bait me lmfao. Plus the weather will be cooler, so I intend to make a lot of progress. BUT ANYWAY I like just listening to either music or the sounds of what’s going on around me. Last time you had a hot drink? That’s a good question. Idk. Have you ever lived in a city? Was it crowded? Never like… a “real” city. Just small towns or in the middle of nowhere. Would you prefer to live in a big city or the woods? THE WOODS!!!!!!1 THE WOODS!!!!!1!!!!1111!! GIMME THAT SHIT!!!!!!11!11!!!! Have you ever climbed a mountain? No. Do you hear owls or crickets at night where you live? LOADS of crickets and toads during the summer. Ever run away from home? When I was a stupid pre-teen. I was mad at my mom and she wasn’t home, so I took Teddy and left. I had my phone though and Mom – when she got home – threatened to call the cops, so yeah, I came back. Are you scared to ride public transport alone? Why? No. Is marriage on your mind? No time soon. Did you own a dollhouse when you were younger? I didn’t, per se, but my younger sister did, and we would play together. Does the room you're in have a tiled floor? No, it’s carpet. How many pairs of earrings do you own? Not that many, not too few. Are you looking for a boyfriend/girlfriend? I’ve never thought *looking* was a good idea, so no. I think bonds of any kind need to come naturally to avoid lack of genuineness, force, or rush. I don’t think me having an s/o is a smart idea right now anyway. Do you prefer a call or a text? Don’t call me unless you’re dying or something. Do your parents drink coffee every morning? Mom almost always does. I don’t live with Dad, so idk. Have you ever donated blood? Yes. One song that's meaningful to you? UM a LOT. Most meaningful, probably “Stairway To Heaven” by Led Zeppelin. I physically can’t listen to it. Like I refuse to. Are you addicted to anything? Technology, big oof energy. What were you last listening to in the car? Something on my iPod, idk. When was the last time you sang out loud? I don’t recall. I rarely sing. What did you have for breakfast? A microwaveable sausage, egg, and cheese biscuit. Mom is currently out of state with her mother because she’s literally on her deathbed, so she STOCKED ME THE FUCK UP on groceries. The freezer is literally jam-packed, so I’m focusing on eating food from there. Did you have a nap today? Yes. I almost never, ever make it through the day without one, especially now with having nightmares every fucking time I sleep. Are you named after anyone? No. Well, not my first name, anyway. “Marie” is a middle name theme in my family, though. What kind of music do you like? Metal, rock, alternative, indie… stuff like that. What’s one hobby that you’d like to take up? Ugh, I miss a LOT of my old hobbies. I’ve lost interest in so much. I wish I drew way more than I do, which is almost never. What did you think you wanted to be when you grew up? The first job I ever wanted was a paleontologist. I was obsessed with dinosaurs. Still love ‘em. What’s the biggest project on your to-do list right now? It’d be great if I could finish designing Ashley’s cancer tattoo, but again, yeah, drawing motivation. ;_; If you weren’t in your current job, what would you want to be doing? I’m unemployed. Is the last person you kissed older than you? No. Are you happy right now? No. Haven’t been “happy” for a while now. Who makes you happiest right now? Probably my cat tbh lol. Especially being home alone for so long, he’s keeping me company. In school did/do people put a label on you? If so, what is/was it? I was considered one of the “emo” kids. Do you laugh every day? lol wow no. What is the last thing you laughed at? This Spongebob meme I saw on Facebook got me fuckin good. Have you cried today? If so, why? Nah. When was the last time someone saw you naked? Been a long time; even when I’m going in or coming out of the shower I do all I can for Mom to not see me because I hate my body a fucking lot. What is the greatest loss you've endured? My first boyfriend. When was the last time you did something you were embarrassed by? WOW I do this like every fuckin day, fam. What was the last thing you lied about? I’m not sure. What type of a drunk are you? Never gotten to the point of drunk, but I was more talkative the closest I got. What is your philosophy on life/how do you generally choose to live or conduct yourself? What a big question. I personally think you should do all you can to make a positive impact on the world – make it better than when you entered. Don’t contribute to the bad, treat people how you want to be treated… all that jazz. When was the last time you were up all night and why? I can’t remember quite why, but I remember doing that with WoW some time ago. Idr what I was doing that had my attention that long, though. That’s rare now. What is the worst thing you've done to yourself? What is the worst thing someone else has done to you? Part one: hand over all of my worth to someone else. Part two: show me exactly why I shouldn’t have in a very unhealthy way. What is the most personal thing you're willing to reveal? I dunno??? Can ya give me a topic?? Is there a situation or person you haven't been able to get over/forgive/what have you? I honestly doubt I’ll ever be entirely over Jason. Who was the last person to yell at you? Did you yell back? Probably Mom, and idr. Doubt it. Just probably raised my voice. Where did your last injury come from? My cat, rip. What is the worst thing you have said to another person? Something along the lines of “thanks for sending me to the ER (or mental hospital?) again.” Fucking disgusting. Do you wear your seatbelt in the car? Without fail, always. Please wear your seatbelt. Are you scared of flying? Not really. What do you sleep in? Men’s pj pants and tank tops. Who was the last person you kissed? Sara. What are you listening to? I am fucking HOOKED on 3TEETH's cover of "Pumped Up Kicks." Do you prefer soupy noodles or noodles without the broth? Without. Have you ever missed someone but felt like they had other friends and didn't miss you as much as you did? This. Is the story of my motherfuckin life. I feel this all the time to a very deep level. Who, out of all your friends, do you hang with the most and could never get tired of him/her? Sara. Do you like the taste of white chocolate or does it taste kind of fake? Nooot a white chocolate fan. Too sweet. How would you react if you just found out your mom had an abortion before? I would be VERY surprised just given who she is and her adoration for children. Are your pets spayed/neutered? Yes. Hottest guy you know and actually talk to? I don’t regularly talk to any guy I consider “hot,” but the closest to that would be my friend Leon, whom I’ve always seen as very attractive. It is fucking UNCANNY, his resemblance to Leon Kennedy from the Resident Evil series. Like he’s dressed as him before and it is astonishing. Name sharing is a coincidence, too. What time of day do you like to shower? I don’t have a favored time anymore. I just do it when I feel like it at some point during the day, but pretty much never night anymore. I do think starting the morning with one though is great, though. When you go out to eat, what sides do your order with your food? Fries are almost guaranteed, but of course it depends on the type of food, too. What do you spend more money than necessary on? I don’t and never have had a stable source of income to answer this, really. What video game or computer game are you best at? Uhhh I’d probably be rusty with the Shadow of the Colossus controls by now, I’ve don’t have the maps or every puzzles memorized from the Silent Hill games, so I guess my answer’s World of Warcraft if I’m on my hunter. Not to flex but I’m a bomb-ass beast mastery hunter. Been my main in the game since I started in MoP. What do you keep your keys on? They’re in my purse on a keychain. Is your favorite color different than your favorite color to wear? Oh yeah. Do you buy books or get them from the library? Buy them. What section of the food pyramid do you neglect the most? Veggies for sure. What do you use your stovetop for most? Well, I don’t ever. Can you focus on studying if there's music on? No, I need silence. In what types of situations do you demand absolute silence? Well, see the above answer, for one. Also going to sleep. Well, maybe not, as I have a fan as kinda like white noise, but I can sleep without it. Did you do well at fitness testing in grade school? I didn’t score bad, but I wasn’t exceptional either. Do you own more shoes or less shoes than the average person? Less, I’m sure. Do you still have anything from when you were a baby? Yeah, up in the attic. I think my mom has some stuff that’s super important to her in a case somewhere. Do you use hairspray much? I never do. Are art museums interesting or boring to you? I enjoy them. What subject in school do you feel is the least necessary? Well, this is a difficult question to answer when you consider I think depending on your career focus as well as personal values and interests, this answer changes from person to person. Like for me, I could say I don’t give a shit about complex math, but advanced math courses would be valued by certain people down specific paths. But anyway, I’ll bite and say least necessary for *the most* people, in my opinion anyway. Gym. It’s very discriminatory towards people with more limited physical capabilities (and I don’t just mean literally disabled), and it’s also just very uncomfortable and/or embarrassing to some people. Like I’d fuckin cry if in my current state, I was forced to “run” a mile, because I physically couldn’t come even close. A person, a younger one especially, should never be subjected to humiliation at the hands of a class schools deem “necessary” when it absolutely is not. Okay I’m in a talkative mood and this is turning into an essay so I’mma move along now. When you were a kid, what games did you always play on the playground? I think for as long as I had recess, my go-to was ALWAYS the swings. I fucking loved swingsets. I loved playing 4 Square or whatever it was called. And then of course there was me digging tunnels in the sandboxes because I wanted to feel like a meerkat lmfao. Do you enjoy power outages or do you get annoyed? For some reason, I still have this childlike excitement *early* into a power outage. Especially when it’s dark and we have to get out the candles, and I might play my old GameBoy or Nintendo DS, or I’ll probably just chill talking with Mom. However, that phase is pretty short nowadays, being a snake mama. My mind very quickly goes back to “Venus needs her lamp,” so as time passes, I get more anxious than annoyed. Basically, I’d rather not have one. Do you know how to use an ATM? … no lmao How about write a check? No. Are you pretty politically correct? To a degree I consider reasonable. Personally I find political correctness as having gone too far by now, but it’s certainly appropriate in some instances. What is one fashion trend you'll never understand? I… don’t really care to think much on this. Wear what makes you feel confident in yourself. There are things I think don’t look good, but they may look great to you, and it’s on your body, so guess whose opinion matters. What do you wear when you exercise? Oh yeesh. Just sweatpants and a tank top, normally. What is usually the last thing you do before you go to bed? I turn the brightness on my phone waaay down. I’m always going to wake up throughout the night and check the time, but I don’t want to be blinded.

[benperorsolo]

Do you have any songs that remind you of Ben? Or Reylo? Most of the playlists I've come across are for Kylo and it's just metal. Which I don't think matches him at all!

I have a Ben playlist that’s nearly 13 hours long and a reylo one that’s about 12 hours. They’ve both been curated since early 2016 and I still add to them. I keep meaning to upload a “final” canonical playlist (the Ben one started as a fic playlist for my redemption fic back in Ye Olden TFA Days) but it’s just so damn big. Since you probably don’t want 25 hours of music(?), here’s...idk a selection of them under the cut.

some ben songs:

Flares — The Script

Did you lose what won't return? Did you love but never learn? The fire's out but still it burns And no one cares, there's no one there

But did you see the flares in the sky? Were you blinded by the light?

I’ll Be Good  — James Young 

Grace is just weakness Or so I've been told I've been cold, I've been merciless But the blood on my hands scares me to death Maybe I'm waking up today

I'll be good, I'll be good And I'll love the world, like I should

CASTLE OF GLASS (esp the acoustic version)  — Linkin Park

Cause I'm only a crack in this castle of glass Hardly anything there for you to see

Nobody Can Save Me  — Linkin Park

So tell me it's alright, tell me I'm forgiven If only I can save me now I'm holding up a light Chasing up the darkness inside And I don't wanna let you down But only I can save me

(Un)lost  — The Maine 

Unaware of where I'm going Or if I'm going anywhere at all I'm not looking to be found Just want to feel (un) lost

Outrunning Karma  — Alec Benjamin 

He's never gonna make it, all the Poor people he's forsaken (karma) Is always gonna chase him for his lies

Saul to Paul  — Red Jumpsuit Apparatus 

For all the times I looked into your eyes and said you lie Oh, I'm sorry For all the times I looked into the sky and said I hated you I'm sorry, God forgive me

Oh, Lord please help me change From Saul to Paul Before it's too late (before it's too late)

Gabriel  — Bear’s Den

It's a part of me, Gabriel, I wish I could deny  The face that I can barely recognize  He lives inside of me every day of my life  And I can hear him, screaming in the night 

Is this all I am? And all I ever was? All that he has won is all that I have lost  Won't you hear me out, Gabriel? Can't you see the shape I'm in? Just don't leave me alone 

The Only Fire  — Motherfolk

Taught to fear my God Then that fear became a cancer And I take medicine to destroy the sin But I know, in the end it's killing me

With my heart in my hands I am ready again I am a broken man, I am

Let It Burn  — Red

I watch the city burn These dreams like ashes float away

How long can you stand the pain How long will you hide your face How long will you be afraid Are you afraid? How long will you play this game Will you fight or will you walk away How long will you let it burn Let it burn (let it burn)

Black Eyes — Radical Face

When you last left me my blood was in a jar And you kept it on your mantelpiece I couldn't count on anyone to stand there behind me And keep the dogs from dragging me off with them While I slept you crept in and pulled the rug right out from under me Then the rain stole away and took the parts that kept me functioning

Welcome Home, Son  — Radical Face

Peel the scars from off my back I don't need them anymore You can throw them out or keep them in your mason jars I've come home

Great Divide  — Ira Wolf 

I wish I could take the hands of time and turn them in reverse I'd take back every long goodbye with venom in my words The only way to be being found is getting lost at first But all I find are more bridges to burn

So am I too far gone To be running home Cause I'm longing tonight To be somewhere 'cross that great divide

Dear Wormwood   — The Oh Hellos

When I was a child I didn't hear a single word you said Things I was afraid of they were all confined beneath my bed The years have been long, and you have taught me well to hide away The things that I believe in You’ve taught me to call them all escapes

There before the flesh I saw a brighter world beyond myself In my hour of weakness you were there to see my courage fail The years have been long and you have taught me well to sit and wait Planning without acting Steadily becoming what I hate  

The Driver  —Bastille

Shout out from the bottom of my lungs A plague on both your houses This thing It's a family affair It's drawing out my weakness

Failure — Breaking Benjamin 

Tired of feeling lost, tired of letting go Tear the whole world down, tear the whole world down Tired of wasting breath, tired of nothing left Tear the whole world down, tear the whole world down

Ashes of Eden  — Breaking Benjamin 

Will the faithful be rewarded When we come to the end Will I miss the final warning From the lie that I have lived

Will the darkness fall upon me When the air is growing thin Will the light begin to pull me To its everlasting will 

Some reylo songs:

Halo — Beyonce

It's like I've been awakened Every rule I had you breaking It's the risk that I'm taking I ain't never gonna shut you outEverywhere I'm looking now I'm surrounded by your embrace Baby, I can see your halo You know you're my saving grace

Just My Soul Responding  — Amber Run

Oh, and I wanna be here when morning comes When the stars in the sky fade into one Oh, and I wanna be here when times are hard When the beating of your heart is like a drum But every day I found new ways to hurt you And every day we took our sides

Reminder  — Mumford & Sons 

A constant reminder of where I can find her A light that might give up the way Is all that I'm asking for Without her I'm lost Oh my love don't fade away

I Will Follow You Into the Dark  — Death Cab for Cutie 

Love of mine, someday you will die But I'll be close behind and I'll follow you into the dark No blinding light or tunnels to gates of white Just our hands clasped so tight, waiting for the hint of a spark

My One Safe Place  — Andrew Peterson

You're my oasis The eye of the hurricane One look at your face is all I need to remember my name So I run away home (yes I run away home to you) I was an orphan caught in a thunderstorm You open the door and welcome me into your arms So I run away home Yes I run away home to you

Save Yourself  — My Darkest Days (this is really more of a Ben POV song, so it’s like the angsty woe is me I’m a monster you shouldn’t be with me song)

I'm the devil's son, straight out of hell And you're an angel with a haunted heart If you're smart you'd run and protect yourself From the demon living in the dark There's nothing to be gained, 'cause I can never change And you can never understand my sickness (I'll never understand my sickness)

Never Giving Up On You  — Of Mice & Men

You hit the wall, lost it all And I'll find a way to wake you from this bed you've made Even though I know you want me to I'm never giving up on you

Little Light  — Lewis Watson

And all my days were young and wasted When I was waiting, oh for you And all the plans that I've been chasing are always fading But ever since I found you A little light is breaking through

Sinner  — Andy Grammer

I've been throwing stones, waiting by the river I've been on my own, praying like a sinner You've been gone too long, I'm waiting out the winter I've been on my knees, praying like, praying like a sinner Well you've built a city right in me And brick by brick and piece by piece And love in both your hands Try to make an honest man

Halo  — Starset 

I can see you running, running Every night from the same darkness It's coming, coming But you are not alone If you just say the word I'll be there by your side

Armor — Landon Austin

I'm not bullet proof when it comes to you Don't know what to say when you made me the enemy After the war is won There's always the next one I'm not bullet proof when it comes to you

Maybe I'll crash into you Maybe we would open these wounds We're only alive if we bruise So I lay down this armor

Not Alone — Red

And I'll be your hope when you feel like its over And I will pick you up when your whole world shatters And when you're finally in my arms Look up and see love has a face

I am with you I will carry you through it all I won't leave you I will catch you When you feel like letting go Cause you're not, you're not alone

Ghost (acoustic)  — Tilian 

Is it too late to go back down that road? Or take the backroads, we're not the same no Tell me I'm not dreaming again Our love is not a ghost, our love is not a ghost Could build a brand new home

Even When I’m Gone  — Quietdrive 

There's a light in my heart That can't be contained You knew right from the start That there's no one here to blame

So send me off with your love, I'll fly like a dove into the sunset of my teenage adolescence And if you're ever feeling alone Know that I'll never forget you Even when I'm gone

[ultra-gari]

Tag Meme!

okay, so this is the second try since i deleted the first attempt of doing this tag. after i cried a bit for being so stupid, i’ll decided to write not so much again which is good for yall i guess!

@add-a-teaspoon-of-heroism​ tagged me for this and I’m so sorry it took me so long, love! But it always makes my day when you tag me somewhere :)

rules: name 10 of your favorite characters from 10 different fandoms.

1. Roronoa Zoro from One Piece

I’ve been in love with him since i was 11 or something, so it’s been like... 10 years and counting which is crazy. One Piece in general holds a special place in my heart, but god, this man ruined so many other fictional characters. He’s loyal and a dork and strong and i just love him, okay? okay.

2. Kaminari Denki from My Hero Academia

at the end of this, you will see that i have a preference for characters who can make me laugh. and some other things, but we’ll come to that later.

tbh, when i first start watching bnha, i liked shoto the most, then bakugou (it’s always the emotional unavailable ones, innit?). Now, i also adore kiri and aizawa and dabi, but denki is just... denki. the only character that can compete with him is shinso.

3. Kakashi Hatake from Naruto

Sad backstory, smart, wears a mask which makes him hot like instantly. oh, and emotional constipated, so i just had to fall for this guy.

4. Roy Mustang from Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood

i never knew that i have a uniform kink like men in uniform a lot, but he proofed me otherwise. that man just radiates power when he snaps his fingers and i like men who are strong. and his relationship with Riza? love it. they are easily one of my OTPs.

5. Yato from Noragami

a dork, again. also a man who can handle a sword/blade. you see where i’m going with this? anywho,, i am so happy that the mangaka continued to draw the manga, which is haven’t read yet (i blame bnha for that), bc i can’t. fucking. wait. for. season. 3.

6. Senku from Dr. Stone

to be fair, i only recently started watching this anime, so my favorite character might change, but so far it’s him! he’s so smart it’s not fair. but lemme tell y’all, the first time i understood what he was talking about, i was so proud. like me, understanding chemistry??? what a time to be alive lmao

7. Violet from Violet Evergarden

oh god, this anime played with my feelings so hard, it’s not even funny. the story is sad and it’s so beautifully animated i wanted to cry sometimes. and even tho i lowkey find the relationship between Violet and that dude (you know which one if you’ve seen it, but i forgot his name, pls forgive me) slightly problematic, i still wanna hug her and tell her how proud i am of her.

8. Levi Ackerman from Attack on Titan

okay, so i might be cheating a bit when i say his name since i’m not really into aot anymore, but i still do read the manga and i will watch season 4, bc i wanna know what happens to him. he also took up most of my free time last year, so it’s only fair if i name him.

and see? emotionally constipated and good with a sword/blade again.

9. Baymax from Big Hero Six

ngl, i cried the first time watching this movie lmao

he is basically a marshmallo on legs who takes care of other people. HOW CAN YOU NOT LOVE THAT??

but fr, this is my comfort movie. if I’m having a rough time and want to just feel better, i watch this movie and laugh and maybe cry, depends on how bad i am. and now i am thinking about how much i love it.

brb, need to cuddle my baymax plushie.

10. Tony Stark from Iron Man

i won’t say much. just know that i love him a fucking lot and that i will never, never, NEVER accept the end of endgame. they did him so dirty in so many ways and just thinking about it makes me angry. Tony, you truly deserved better.

____

aight, so i think it’s done! in my first try, i actually wrote a lot more, but i think i did okay in this one :)

doing this tag, it also made me realize that all of my favorite characters are men which tbh does not surprise me as i find a lot of female characters horribly portraited, but that’s for another time.

and i think i am supposed to tag 10 people now, right? so, I’m gonna tag @lostfoxgirl​ and @pixxiesdust​ (i’m so sorry if you did this already hun or don’t want to do it), but idk anyone else on tumblr :( so if you’re reading this and want to do the tag, pls do!

[satoruvt]

black swan

i wrote a short story for my english class and i felt really proud of it so i’m gonna post it here :-) hope yall like it, i do very much

word count → 2179

summary → “Because you are a sinner,” he spits at me. The ground is suddenly hot with anger and when I look down at my feet I see scorched earth. “And sinners go to Hell.”

warnings → lots of talk about religion, pg-13 ish at the beginning? lol, bro idk shit gets intense

“Go,” Leo tells me. I try to move closer to him, smile playing on my lips as they try to connect with his again, but he pushes me gently. I thread my fingers through his hair, letting the color burn in my mind. I hope it stays like that forever. I can recognize his golden hair anywhere. “Eden, you must leave. Your curfew is almost upon us.”

I huff, feigning annoyance at his denial, as I take my pocket watch out of my coat. As much as I want to stay, Leo’s right - it is almost time for me to depart, and if I’m not home when Mother does her nightly rounds I’ll have chores for the next fortnight. Leo pushes his fingers into my short hair, straightening it back to what it resembled before our encounter. I can’t help but stare at him as he does, and once he catches me he grins, savage and bright.

“Go, my love,” he tells me, taking my hand and placing a kiss to my knuckles. I part with a flushed smile, turning around to my own home. I don’t have to hurry if I don’t wish to; my home is only a few houses down from Leo’s, but I do so anyways, not willing to risk the chance of Mother finding my room empty.

It doesn’t take long for me to get home, nor does it take very long for me to open my room’s only window and haul myself inside, closing it gently behind me. Right as the window clicks shut, a knock on my door resounds, startling me. I grab the nearest thing - a pencil, and, then, an already-drawn-on paper - and pretend that I’ve been in my room for the last hour, drawing away. 

“Eden,” my mother’s voice calls from outside the door. “May I come in?”

Before I have a chance to answer, she’s opening the door and moving into the room gracefully. I barely hear her footsteps as she adjusts to close the door behind her and then move across the room to my bed, sitting on the edge. Mother sends me a specific glance and I put down my props before sitting next to her.

“Has something happened?” I ask.

“Oh, yes,” Mother responds, and her fingers clench into fists on her lap. “Dear Eden, something has happened. Something to do with you.”

I feel my heart sink to my toes, swirl through my bloodstream as if caught in a current. I try not to let my panic show, instead clearing my throat and looking at my mother. “What is it?”

Mother sighs, and when she looks me in the eyes I know that we both know what she could possibly be referencing. “You’re friends with the Wilson’s son down the street, yes?”

Leo.

I nod.

“And you are… just friends with this boy?”

My heart lurches from my feet to my throat and I choke on my own breath, staring at my mother wide-eyed. There’s no way that she knows, right? It can’t be, no. I try to cover up my surprise but it seems I hold it too long, for it’s enough for Mother to let out a broken wail as she falls onto me.

“Oh, my son,” she cries into me. I feel my own tears well to my eyes at the knowledge that she is crying. “What have you done?”

Her words hurt me, an arrow straight into my chest. “Nothing, mama,” I murmur over her quieting sobs. “I’m still me. I’m still your son. Please, mama.”

Mother sits up and tears fall down her cheeks like gentle streams. She doesn’t look hateful, like most - if not everyone - would. Her palm cups my face and I sigh, leaning into her touch.

“I know you are,” she whispers. “I know, and I love you.”

It’s now that I feel my own tears slip down my face - never had I intended to tell her; I only imagined that one day I would leave and live in a place where I could find others like me, and keep up this facade when I came home for visits. I was content with the idea, but this seems so much better. I lean forward and hug Mother, holding her tight in my arms, and she reciprocates my embrace immediately.

“You know that I am no liar,” she tells me when she pulls away. Her hands still rest at my elbows. “And I cannot lie to your father about this.”

My response is immediate. My father is not as forgiving as my mother, and if what she says is true (it always tends to be) then I have no hope to be accepted in my own home. “What should I do?”

“I don’t know,” she answers truthfully. “The best option is for you to not be here when I tell him.”

“And when is that?”

“Tonight, I assume. When he gets home in an hour.”

An hour is not much time. I don’t ask her how long I should be gone, because both of us know the answer. We sit in silence for another moment before I speak again, my hands still gripping her fingers like I did when I was a child. “I suppose I should pack my things.”

Mother nods, but doesn’t let go of my hands until I move away to reach my pack. It isn’t large, but it should be enough to carry a few articles of clothing and a small amount of food. I get packed quickly, and my mother still sits on my bed. We walk to the door in silence, and it’s when she opens it for me that we speak.

“I love you, my son,” she tells me wistfully. “And I am so sorry.”

I know she is, but I tell her it’s alright. I’m not angry at her, nor my father, nor anyone except for myself. I see my father’s horse come into view, him on top of it, and slink into the night, running towards the forest nearby in the dark. In retrospect, I know it isn’t the best decision, but I have nowhere else to go. I don’t stop to say good-bye to Leo, and I don’t stop running until I am deep in the forest. I find a sturdy tree trunk under large bushes, sit down, and sleep restlessly through the night.

When I wake, there is a man standing over me.

He doesn’t flinch when I wake up, opening my eyes to stare at him. He stares back, unphased, and when I move, he moves. He seems fascinated with me. I sit up straight and he takes a few steps back. His hair is dark, and so are his eyes. His skin is beautifully golden, and his face seems like one that never ages. Neither of us speak for a moment until I do.

“What do you want?”

The man smiles and I feel my body tense. It is not a good smile - joyous as a smile could be, but there’s more to it. Something cruel. Something sinister. “Nothing big,” he replies, and I pull my bag out from behind me, confused as to why he hadn’t just taken my things before I woke up. How long had he been looking at me?

“I only have a small sum of food,” I say, taking said items out of my bag, then my spare clothing. “And clothes.”

“Oh, I don’t want any of that,” the man says. “Don’t worry. I’m not going to rob you of your belongings.”

“I see,” my breath rises up in the cold morning air. “Then might I ask who you are and what you do want?”

The man smiles again, but this time it’s worse; wider. He’s a few feet in front of me, and I still see his sharp canines. “We’re going to be the best of friends, you and I,” he tells me. I don’t believe him. “Please, call me Shen, young one. I understand your name is Eden? Yes. ‘Eden and Shen’ - doesn’t it sound wonderful?”

The man - Shen, now - offers his hand towards me to help me up. I gaze at it unsteadily, and for the first time I see him falter. I ask instead, “how do you know my name?”

“It’s a long story,” he answers automatically. “Take a walk with me. I’ll tell you.”

“No… I’ll stay right here,” I say. My blood starts to pump as I make up a lie. “Actually, I have a friend coming to meet me. He should be here soon.”

Shen chuckles. It sends shivers down my spine. “No one is coming for you.”

I could easily have denied it, said that he was wrong - it is my word against his - but I was blessed with my mother’s inability to lie well, and I don’t try to cover up my mistake. Shen, however, seems impatient now. I’m stalling and he knows that I am, but I don’t know for what. No one is coming back, and if I ran back home I know my family would close the door in my face.

“I say we make the long story short.” Shen says. He looks different, but I don’t know how. He’s darker, almost, like the aura surrounding him has fallen into something hellish. “I’m getting impatient, and I am here for one thing, and I will get it through all necessary means. I need your soul.”

His words shock me, and for a moment I think he’s crazy. Completely and utterly insane, someone who thinks he can take mortal souls, but when I let out a humorless laugh, he shows no sign of playing along. He is serious. 

“Why do you need my soul?” I ask. I don’t believe that he’s truthful, but there’s something wrong. I hesitate.

“Because you are a sinner,” he spits at me. The ground is suddenly hot with anger and when I look down at my feet I see scorched earth. “And sinners go to Hell.”

I’m still reeling with the sight in front of me, of red skies and burned trees and charred animals all around me. It smells like heavy smoke and it burns my lungs. The black trees warp around me in a cage, moving like cruel, clawed fingers, and this is too real. Shen must be a witch. His eyes are red, now, when I look at them, and I realize he is not human.

“You ruined yourself with lies and men,” Shen starts to speak. I dodge the trees aiming for me, scrambling to my feet like a scared cat, and as he speaks the earth itself starts to move, shaking under my unsteady legs. “My dear Eden, you were born to be like me, like our Dark Lord.”

“No,” I counter weakly. My voice is barely heard over the rumbling of the ground as it splits in half. “No, I am pure, I am no sinner -”

“How ironic that your name comes from blessed lands yet you yourself are no more than another liar amongst pure men.” Shen’s voice is demonic and wild, and I can’t think of anything to do but cover my ears. It does nothing to stop the sound of his voice from leaking into my head. I feel like I am boiling from the inside out. I did nothing wrong, I did nothing wrong, I did nothing wrong! “I can’t wait to see you rot.”

Before I properly know what I’m doing, I’m grabbing the biggest rock I can carry and running towards Shen with a battle cry on my lips. My heart is restless, but it stops when I see him grin - in the second before the rock meets his head, he looks so cruel, yet so familiar. The same dark hair, but his face is more boyish. I can’t put my finger on it, but I don’t have time to think before I throw the rock onto his skull with all the strength I can muster.

I blink and the land returns to normal.

It’s green again, covered in lush forestry and a silent mist. My heart is still pounding, but I no longer feel hot. Everything is as it was; did I hallucinate the entire ordeal? I’ve been out in the forest for too long, even if it’s only been one night. The repetitiveness of the trees makes my head ache with the need to leave. I calm my breathing, then turn in my spot to find my pack.

When I turn, there’s something laying on the ground, beneath the foliage. The leaves around it are stained red with blood. I see a hand, then a full arm. There’s a body. 

I move closer, thoroughly concerned, and then I see a rock - the rock I had thrown - off a few feet. Panic shoots through me at the idea that I hurt someone in my crazed frenzy, and then I take a closer look at the face of the man I hurt.

I could recognize his golden hair anywhere.

[the-worst-fe-player]

Tell us about your summoner oc pls!!

Just want to say thank you so much for this ask its made me really happy and also please dont judge to harsh iv never made an oc before and I dont really know what I'm doing lol. Also the idea of how it works is that when he is in the world of heroes time stops in his world. So he can spend 5 years in askra come back to his world and no time has gone past. Also I'm so sorry for grammar or spelling mistakes it's the dylisxc sorry.

Name = Taylor

Gender = male

Age = 19

What they do in there own world = studying to become an physiotherapist in a university london(because I'm from England and I dont know how other countries school system work sorry) but also works part time in a tesco

Personality = easily attached to poeple so dispite being quite intelligent on the battle feild he has done some stupid things to make sure they stay safe. Get extremely angry when it comes to poeple getting hurt (physically and emotionally)which sometimes isn't a problem but sometimes this means he has given away locates when the group is trying to be stealthy, which has put them in even more danger at times. Is out going and confendnet when around strangers and friends but this is a bit of a mask, as he feels like he has to put of that face because of him being the summoner. Close friends will known that he is quite nervous with a very strange sense of humour (at least to them)

As a unit = after the events of book 1 he started to try and become a healer. While he cant defend himself very well only able to do light magical damage he is a very skilled healer. He rides a horse into battle

Realship with the heroes = close friends Donald it started with him asking him why he wears a pot into battle and there friendship took off from there. Laslow, laslow was just being laslow and flirted with him and to humor him taylor flirted back and they had tea together and became good friends, especially as laslow understood the whole hiding behind a more confident persona. Est, she reminds him of his little sister so he feels the need to protect her (that need that she needs protecting changes when she takes down a Duma that would have killed him) but they often go out to the market to buy supplies as she easy to talk to.

And with the heores oc =(also for the sake of idk how to write them in the veronica, bruno and loki bunny alt dont exist in this one I'm sorry)

anna = as a broke uni student he respects her money loving ways. They can be caught scheming ways to get some extra money

Sharena = she saw right through the persona he put on so she was able to see the real him very quickly. They have shared eachother darkest secrets and so they trust eachother completely and get on very well. Also the only person to get his sense of humour. She was the first person he came out as bi to which was followed by her coming out as a lesbian to him. Helped her and fjorm get together.

Alfonse = at first they only talked while working together because of alfonse fear of not wanting to get close to Taylor but he saw Taylor stressing out after he thought everyone had left the war councils meeting. They both had a heart to heart Taylor admits his fear of not doing well another and faling and alfonse explains why he fears getting close to poeple. The only person he has taken into his world has alfonse was curios so he showed him the day to day life. A customer was rude to taylor in Tesco and let's put it this way alfonse is banned from all Tesco.

Fjorm = extremely good friends with eachother and he feels guilty about her dying believing that it his fault dispite her saying that it's not and she doesnt regret what she did. Wants to try and make her last years alive as happy as possible. Beause hríd couldn't stop crying (he gives me those big brother vibes you cant change my mind) Taylor walked her down the aisle at her and sharena wedding.

Gunnthrá = the big sister he never had, just like with fjorm he feels guilty for what happend to her and cant forgive himself. She took him to nifl once and like good all English men he was freezing to death within the first 5 minutes.

Hríd = talk about there sister together a lot as Taylor has 2 and love them to peaces like hríd does with his. Hríd has basically adopted him and whenever Hríd is deployed he always looking behind him to make sure no arches are amining at Taylor. He taught him how to ride a horse

Ylgr = she always messing about and playing pranks so he uses her powers for evil good by setting her on heroes that are annoying him. Dispite her being very strong especially for her age he can never use her in battle out of fear of what will happen. But he has taught her to yell yeet when throwing her daggers.

Laegjarn = not exactly friends but they respect eachother. Dispite being in charge and never abusing his power over her and laevatein unlike surter she has a new resolve that once she goes back to her world she going to take laevatein and leave surter as she now knows theres a better way of life and that theres poeple that are willing to give her a second chance.

Laevatein = pretty much the same as laegjarn but Taylor also teachers her how to ride a horse after finding out she has a interest in them

Helibindi = is trying his best to summon his sister. He is suspicious of his outgoing nature and is sure there something going on underneath but doesn't know how to get through. Is one of the few that notice when Taylor is struggling with something even if it something small, so he often get stuff of the top shelf for him because Taylor is a bit short.

Eir = not close yet but he was the one that gave her a hug and stayed with her after hel death.

Random info = 5'5, middle child oldest brother is 23 youngest sister is 13, bi, allergic to cherrys, has a dog called robin.

I just released how much I wrote and I'm so so sorry but thank you so much for the ask I was sad because of irl stuff but this really cheered me up writing this so thank you so much. I'm going to use a picrew to show what he looks like because I cant draw and idk how to describe well

[uncomfortable-writers]

Lofn’s Blessing (Ivar x Reader)

(Gif credit to owner)

Fandom: Vikings

Character: Ivar the Boneless

Persona: Christian!Female

Word Count: 998

A/N - For this fic, (Y/N) will be a Christian. I kinda wanna make it a multi-series but idk, lemme know your thoughts? This is also my first time writing for Ivar so if he feels OOC or anything pls forgive me xoxo <3

Lofn - The Goddess of Forbidden Love, any that is forbidden, frowned upon by society, or disliked by families. She draws lovers together in addition to protecting them from others.

You felt sick to your stomach. The utter disgust at being placed on a boat and taken from your homeland to areas unknown was a horrible feeling. It caused a whole range of resentment to blossom in your mind; firstly at your father. He was a king who ruled over a reasonably large area in England and in order for safety from pillages, he’d offered you up in heartbeat. And sadly that offer had been accepted. The greatest resentment you felt was for your husband to be - a filthy heathen. How could your father trade you away like cattle to a bunch of uncultured brutes? You doubted they’d honour the alliance anyway but your protests fell on deaf ears. 

“We’re here my lady”, said your most trustworthy handmaiden, Rose. Not only was she a great helper, but a fantastic adviser and your best friend, thankfully your father had allowed you to bring her along, “Wear this my lady otherwise you’ll freeze”, she offered you a remorseful smile along with an extra fur coat. Rose saw the hesitation on your features, “Perhaps that would be for the best”, you answered. She tutted, shaking her head she draped the fur around your shoulders, “Without you here they’d surely kill me, I’ve got to keep you alive for my own sake”, she joked, making you smirk a little. “I knew there was a reason you liked me Rose”. She never had time to answer though as the boat docked in the station, the men who were accompanying you started to lead you off.

You were surprised when you saw that there wasn’t a big crowd waiting to welcome you, “Typical”, you muttered snidely to Rose as you walked gracefully, your head held high, “I see the heathens really do have no culture”. 

Rose bit her lip to stop a broad smile from developing on her face, “Behave (Y/N)”. A young man started to approach you and your ensemble, his light brown hair was pulled back into brilliant braids. You noticed there was sparse facial hair dashed across his features. Although you thought him to be quite handsome, you kept your compose as after all he was a Viking.

“Greetings Princess (Y/N), I am Prince Hvitserk. Welcome to Kattegat”, his smile was so wide that you couldn’t help reciprocating it as if it were contagious. You curtsied politely, holding up your skirts and bowing your head, “Greetings Prince Hvitserk, thank you for welcoming me. I am surprised you know my language”, you answered, rising up. You noticed that the young prince now wore a smirk, you tilted your head but didn’t ask questions. “We learnt it from our raids”, he stated, “Follow me, Ivar is waiting”. 

With this he turned on his heel, leaving you to trail behind him. 

Smoothly picking your skirts up once again you followed after Hvitserk, trying your best to stay collected as now the people of Kattegat were watching you as you made your way to the Great Hall. Each step became harder like there was a growing weight inside each of your legs, you could feel the increasing anxiety becoming more and more present the closer you got. 

Subtly you reached out and brushed Rose’s hand, sending her a worried glance. Rose smiled at you, giving you an encouraging nod although it did little to sate your nerves. Hvitserk was the first to enter the hall: the doors were opened for him and the heat from inside hit you like the warmth from a baker’s oven. You continued to follow Hvitserk and you couldn’t of been a few feet inside when he stopped, causing you to stop also. You watched as, (what you assumed were servants women), reached out and took the furs from his shoulders, they did the same for you.

“Ivar!”, Hvitserk suddenly called out heartily, “Your princess has arrived!”. The prince then turned to you and gestured for you to move forward.

Reluctantly you followed his instructions. You carried yourself like you would’ve back home as if you were walking in your father’s court. Your head was held high, your long (H/C) neatly framed your face, you crossed your hands and delicately held them in front of you as you coolly walked towards the young man sat on a throne, the seat next to him was vacant.

The first thing you noticed was his icy blue eyes that seemed to shine in the dully lit room. You could feel the cold coming from behind them, it was abundantly evident in his stare as he watched you approach. A blank expression was written on his face as he sat proudly in his throne, his hair was darker than his brother’s and shorter, but the braids were just as beautiful. You couldn’t deny it, he was wonderfully attractive, although this thought caused revulsion and you had to hold back an involuntary shiver. Clearly there was Pagan magic at work here, you reasoned. You noticed that he wore strange metal plates on his legs, but now was not the time to question as you were finally close to him. 

“My King”, you spoke clearly, greeting him with the same curtsy you’d offered Hvitserk, “I am Princess (Y/N) of England”. This seemed to amuse him as an unsettling grin took form on his face, “Welcome to Kattegat, Princess (Y/N)”, he repeated as if he were testing out the new name. You would never admit it, but somewhere deep down, you liked the way he made it sound. “We don’t do...that here”, he gestured to your curtsy, “Although maybe we should”. You smiled politely at him and that was all you offered, you were far too afraid to indulge him in conversation.

“I am King Ivar the Boneless, I hope you find your stay here enjoyable Christian”.

[adecila]

Game of Thrones – A Knight of the Seven Kingdoms - 8x02 episode analysis (kind of)

…or the episode we should have gotten last week.

And we’re back! I am not here to shit on last week’s episode I actually enjoyed it very much, if you just take it for what it was, but! I cannot help but remark how much better episode 2 has been to us… the writing was very very good and rich, and in character, and it finally feels like GoT and… I honestly don’t know what happened in episode 1. But moving on…

As you can already tell, this is going to my personal summary, thoughts and analysis of episode 02 of season 8. Going to put it all under a cut – spoilers, you have been warned.

Are you an Oathkeeper or on Oathbreaker? Or the Jaime Fucking Lannister Fest

Listen I am not calling this a trial, because it is not. Yes I know they call it a trial in the BTS and Inside the episode.

Dany’s speech about Jaime’s deeds against House Targaryen is very good. As I have mentioned in my preview analysis, this is the first time (third time is a charm ha) that Jaime and Dany speak to one another. She doesn’t know this man. This man tried to kill her and he killed her father.

I got right half of the stuff at least, for what it’s worth. Tyrion looks soooo sooo bad. LIKE YOU KNEW YOUR SISTER? Oh the glare!!! If looks could kill, Tyrion would be dust. LiStEn, Tyrion, honey. Sit down. Jeez, read the room, you are not making it better. Dany is right - why should she trust this man? And Sansa is right there with her… until Brienne speaks. 

Gwen called Brienne’s speech something “almost like a declaration of love” and I think that is so beautiful it hurts. Not a Braime fan, but hey you got fed fam, I am happy for you! I already mentioned in my live blogging that it was either incoherent or just plain retcon to forget that Sansa sent Brienne to KL because she thought Brienne would kill her if it meant a showdown with Arya. But I digress. 

I find it very interesting how Jaime didn’t apologise and his cojones to say so because “we were at war” - and I get it, my dude, Ser Hot Stuff, we all know all is fair in love and war, but I guess it would be ooc for him to apologise. Great delivery, I don’t particularly like NCW but this scene? Top notch. I rate it one doggy style fuck out of one, but so good your legs are wobbly and you can barely find the energy to plop on your bed afterwards. 

The things we do for love… and Bran is back with the fucking shit stirring drama. We stan Bran Starkashian. 

I find it interesting since this is also Dany’s chance to show how she rules - Lady Sansa says her opinion, which surprises Dany. Then she turns to Jon, who the entire time has been very very quiet. Like the kind of quiet you are when you have the biggest hangover and you are stuck in class and you just want it to be over with. So Jon says what he could say to get the fuck out of there. “We need every man we can get.” So Jaime is given his sword back after Grey Worm literally gives him the I AM WATCHING YOU BITCH glare. 

But Jon’s chair is not facing forward, it is slightly oriented towards Dany’s. Notice how he doesn’t look at her, even when she addresses him directly. She gets up and everyone does so afterwards FINALLY SOME FUCKING RESPECT and she turns to Jon… and he doesn’t even look at her… and my baby looks heartbroken because he just ignores her *coughs* As soon as the meeting ended, he rushed out, not giving her a chance to say a word. *coughs*

In defence of Jon… Know what, we’ll talk about Jon later, when we get to the reveal. 

Oh and Bran totes doesn’t care about Jaime enough to expose him in front of the entire Great Hall. Because ya know, he is a drama queen, but he keeps his cards close, he either already has a plan for Jaime or as he said, and as I have predicted from the preview, it serves no purpose to expose Jaime for what he did to Bran. Like just click on it and read it. Good that Bran called him out on his apology naaah bitch you don’t get to go holier than thou here. It is what it is. 

Me at Bran this episode:

Jaime and Tyrion’s conversation is very interesting, not only about Dany in general whether she is worthy or not, and Tyrion seems to be team Dany. Was it just me or Tyrion more like whispered the part where he talks about Cersei’s baby. Also also listen Jaime, unless you’re suddenly a gynaecologist how the fuck do you know she is not lying? I loved how Tyrion called Jaime out on the fact that he loved Cersei despite knowing full well what and who she was. Dude let’s call it what it was. Don’t play coy now. 

Ding ding ding Tyrion mentions marching to KL and killing Cersei … and that’s all I am gonna say about it.

Jaime x Brienne wow this ship is getting so fed - enjoy babies ! And I loved how Brienne was suddenly WHY ARENT YOU INSULTING ME I DONT KNOW HOW TO INTERACT TO YOU !!!! Brienne is leading the left flank and Jaime wants to be led by her. Keep in mind for next week’s episode! I am so proud of my son Pod, I am basically proudmom!Brienne tbh. 

The episode in which Dany gets a lot of counsel - because that’s also the type of ruler she is 

Tyrion x Varys x Jorah vs Dany - Dany gives the best scolding ever tbh. Moms, take notes, because look at Tyrion’s face. He knows this Christmas when the NK comes he will only get coal. No whores and wine for Tyrion. He was naughty boy.  

KHALESSI - Listen. I don’t like Jorah in the books, and my impression of show!Jorah has always been tainted by it. But this Jorah is redeemed and deserves to live I WILL RIOT IF HE DIES. The scene he has with Dany is one of my favourites because it just shows how much history they have together. I will sob if he dies because he is the only one left from S1E01 with her.  Jorah tells her to forgive Tyrion and seek out S.ansa to smooth things over. MY BEAR

S.ansa x Daenerys - First time I thought it was going well, they were bonding… and then S.ansa leaned forward and the hand placing seemed a bit too deliberate to me, too Margaery. What I am trying to say is that it is very hard to know if S.ansa is being genuine. It is a very good scene and it holds a lot of importance later on, more on that when I talk about the reveal in the last scene (and I this is what I wanted from episode 1 - cold but courteous.) 

S.ansa tells Dany Jon loves her and that “men do stupid things for the women they love, they’re easily manipulated” - which, fair point; she saw Cersei and Margaery do it. Buuuut she also had the counter-argument: she saw how Littlefinger manipulated her aunt. So it goes both ways, bby. 

“All my life I have known one goal: the Iron Throne […] until I met Jon 

INTERRUPTING THIS PROGRAMME TO FLAIL BECAUSE HOLY SHIT WE FINALLY HEAR DANY CALL HIM “JON” ON SCREEN YES YES FUCKING FINALLY THANK YOU BABY JESUS AND MARY AND THE ENTIRE TEAM OF 12 APOSTLES  

“Now I am here, half a world away, fighting Jon’s war alongside him. Tell me, who manipulated whom?”  - I love how Dany turns the tables here, because she is right; if Dany was manipulating Jon, then how come she is the one here, fighting with all her men and resources and dragons? Who gains from this more? SEE S.ANSA IT MAKES NO FUCKING SENSE IF YOU WOULD HAVE BEEN- 

FINALLY SOME GOOD FUCKING CONTENT. 

Then S.ansa goes for that smile ugh and agaaaain I am having soooo much trouble taking it for genuine. 

“I am here because I love your brother and I trust him and I know he is true to his word […]” I AM DEAD DEAD DEAD 

And then it goes to shite because S.ansa is now clearly drawing inspiration from Theresa fucking May since she has no fucking skills to bring up Brexit - is it Nexit? Dany retreating her hands tho - she feels played LIKE REALLY BITCH I WAS SPEAKING FROM MY HEART AND YOU WERE JUST BUYING TIME HERE. 

Theonsa everywhere - or the ship you never thought would happen in this show yet you can’t help but ship it 

That hug!!!! Wow I loved it!!! Sophie and Alfie killed it. Also watch Dany in the background - my baby!!! Do you know how hard it is being around people with big families when you’re… alone? It’s fucking depressing, and I just want to hug Dany and carry her to safety. 

We got 3 Theonsa moments (and one was a Jonerys parallel so you know the romantic undertones are strong) in this episode soooo yeah! Enjoy! I am afraid they are setting Theon up to die, especially since it would be poetic cinema.jpeg for him to die defending Bran after he took WF from him.

Also also feels like book!Theon and show!Theon are colliding again. 

The Merry Men and the Night’s Watch leftovers ; and Ghost for 3 seconds - you’re welcome ; the Hound and Beric; Missandei and Grey Worm

Tormund calling Jon “little crow” was fucking everything! did you catch Jon’s smile??? Precious baby!!! And then asking about Brienne!!!! But did you catch Jon’s face when he saw Sam was also there - like ugh you again - BYE 

Missandei x Grey - one of them is totally dead BYE I AM GONNA FLUNG MYSELF OUT THE WINDOW 

Sam x Jon on the battlements - ugh Sam really you are looking soooooo bad right now. Jon’s face is again precious. He is so over Sam atm and he is just like WHEN WILL THE NK COME FOR ME BECAUSE IF I HAVE TO STAY ONE MORE SECOND WITH THIS BITCH ISTG– Then I got emo when Edd came up. Damn. Watch Edd die too… I feel it in mah bones. That’s how the last of the NW dies. 

Arya x The Hound - I get soooo many dad feels from the Hound tbh and I love it. My guess the Hound makes it. Beric tho??? hmmm Idk about that. 

Tormund is fucking insane and I love him

THE BRIENNE KNIGHTING WAS EVERYTHING AND I CANT EVEN LOOK AT THE GIFS WITHOUT SOBBING MAH HEART - also!!! Dunk and Egg reference - Brienne parallel?? And the title of the episode! ugh Summerhall references? BRIENNE DO NOT DIE 

Sam gives Jorah Heartsbane - Good. It’s what Jorah deserves. *pushes Sam out of the shot*

Pod singing Jenny’s Song is tearing me apart and making me sob harder I FUCKING LOST IT AND I AM STILL GETTING CHILLS YALL THIS WAS FUN. SEEMS EVERYONE DIES. No, I jest. But I love how they paired up the couples for a tragic love song - Brienne x Jaime, Sam x Gilly, S.ansa x Theon, Arya x Gendry, Missandei x Greyworm, Jon x Dany. I wouldn’t look too much into the song choice tbh, since in Inside the episode they say they knew they wanted a song and they just picked this one and added more verses since it was incomplete. I know this is the second Summerhall reference, but ya know, I personally wouldn’t look too much into it.  Edit: I should have never trusted D&D - now go read these amazing posts made by @tomakeitbeautifultolive in which she explains the song and the significance for Jonerys. Also Ramin Djawadi spoke about the song and fed our fandom just today (April 25th).

The War Council or let’s gather around Bran Starkashian so he can spill some tea on the NK

Plan sounds basic imo, not that I had expected much about that, but in Miguel we trust and we know he will absolutely crash this battle in episode 3. 

Interesting how the casually dropped that apparently the NK’s goal is to destroy Bran. And the mention of the mark - so now basically Bran is chipped. Cool beans. Sam’s remark about “death is forgetting, being forgotten is very interesting. Memories don’t come from books, your stories aren’t just stories.” - interesting take here. I Sam writing the book about Jonerys? If so I am afraid he has A FUCKING BIAS OMG I AM GETTING HEATED AGAIN. Also my friend @iane-casey  was totally annoyed how much screen time Sam got which honestly same dude I am still pissed at you *joins Jon to brood and glare at Sam*

Dany publicly makes a point in that she still needs Tyrion aka he is forgiven so that there is no bad blood between them. 

Lmao my friend @zavocado says we should totes just tape Bran to Drogon’s belly and lure the NK away from WF *grabs the duct-tape* 

FINALLY A MAP: listen, they are outnumbered as fuuuuck… besides that it is clear that Dany’s forces will get the most hit since they are in the vanguard, Birenne on the left with the Knights of the Vale and some Stark forces, on the right we get the rest of the North, and the Mormonts are inside the gates! 

Jon walks on Dany a second time - Dany stops as the room clears out (Qhono and Jorah and Varys behind her), looks expectandly at Jon, he doesn’t look at her (MY BABY BOY HE LOOKS SO ROUGH DID HE EVEN SLEEP?), falters “Your Grace”, and bolts. She falters, her face is all WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING and she clears the room too. More on that at the end.

Gendrya or the OTP you did not know you need and why you fucking need it

First of all, this fandom is so pure. I loooooved all the Gendrya on my dash from episode 1 and then this episode I got flooded and I am here for it bitch. Give me all the feels.

I cannot wait to see Arya with her new weapon!!! 

GENDRY IS SO SHOOKETH BY ARYA AND I LOVED THAT SHE TOPPED HIM

I HAVE A SON YOU HAVE A DAUGHTER LET’S JOIN OUR HOUSES

The gendrya - jonerys parallels??? EVERYTHING JUST WOW

Jonerys parentage reveal 2.0 or the reveal Jon also deserved not the travesty he got

I will do a play by play of the scene, but first. Why does Jon avoid Dany? Simple. He is hurting. Since we get the Jaime vs Bran stare down and then we get the Jaime trial, it is safe to assume that happens the morning after Sam blurted the truth to Jon about his mom and dad. 

So at Jaime’s fake trial, Jon had what? A few hours at best to process everything - and by that I mean: Dany is his aunt; Ned lied to him his entire life (no matter the reason, Jon has been raised a certain way and to hear the man who was so honourable was capable of the biggest lie in the realm… das huge! so this is shocking his entire moral compass and belief system built upon the education his dad gave him); his dad actually loved his mom and married her so he is no longer a bastard - ya know aka the thing that affected his entire life and the thing he wanted most; his mom died giving birth to him and she managed to think of him in her last moments, enough to make Ned promise her he will take care of her son; the fact that if Robert even caught a whiff of it, he would have been dead. SO that is a LOT LOT. 

Which explains why Jon was so out of it when he is asked about Jaime. Also explains why he bolts out of the room without looking at Dany - I think if he had even so much as looked at her he would have broken down. He isn’t ready for it.

Oh the stuff I mentioned he had to come to terms with? On top of all of it we must add the stress of finding a way of telling all of this to Dany in a way that he doesn’t hurt her. Also I bet your ass he thought there was a chance she may not believe him (he himself did not in the beginning)… and a chance she may think he wants the throne since Sam drilled this into his head so now he is afraid of that too. 

So when Jon is in the war room he had what? around 12 hours in total since Sam told him? 15? 20? Do you think that’s enough? Because I don’t. But this time he is doing much better. So he is still not looking at Dany, but he addressed her “Your Grace” and leaves - which means he is already in a better place than where he was in the morning, but not quite there yet. 

This is good angst. We should rejoice, it will hurt before it gets better. 

Moving on. Why didn’t he just directly go to Dany? I honestly don’t think it’s in Jon’s character to seek out comfort. This is a kid who had no one to go to when he would hurt himself. That shit stays with you. You don’t just flip a switch and start seeking out your other half. No, in moments of stress the brain reverts to things it knows bets, to muscle memory and old habits; it uses the energy to overthink itself to death so ain’t nobody got time for that new behaviours shit. At this point jonerys have been together for how long? 3? 4 weeks? That’s not that much. They are used to each other, but not enough to break old habits and past traumas. 

Now, the reveal: 

Dany stops, silently asking permission before she approaches Jon. Poor bean must be a bit hurt that he avoided her twice, so better make sure he actually wants her company. Jon actually smiles at her, even if it is a sad smile. It kills me how he is just staring at him mom’s statue. KILLS ME. Only then, she approaches him (look at her face, brief relief!). She stops next to him, he turns to her and nods, and only THEN SHE EMBRACES HIS SIDE, HOLDING HIS HANDS, CHIN TO HIS SHOULDER.

“Who is that?”

“Lyanna Stark.” Jon eventually says

Dany looks a bit like oh… shit, again my family yikes… I would say she looks apologetic. “My brother Rhaegar, everyone told me he was decent and kind. He liked to sing. Gave money to poor children. And he raped her” - ok but this is big, because Dany just in S7 recognised her own rape… So no wonder her opinion on Rhaegar is not that good atm. 

“He didn’t” 

Dany looks shook, but she is still holding onto Jon. Notice how his hand is on hers? 

“He loved her.” 

She doesn’t interrupt. Jon almost looks like he is feeling brave, so he keeps her hand into his and turns to face her. 

“They were married in secret. After Rhaegar fell on the Trident, she had a son. Robert would have murdered the baby if he ever found out and Lyanna knew it.”

Dany is surpised, but so far so good. Jon stares into her eyes.

“So the last thing she did as she bled to death on her birthing bed was give the boy to her brother” – camera on Emilia — oh shit for a split second it starts to show that she is putting two and two together – “Ned Stark” – her eyes widen and she blinks – “to raise as his bastard” – she exhales, breathing accelerates – “My name,” – breathing heavily on her part –  “my real name” -- she looks incredulous and nods a smal no – “is Aegon Targaryen” – she blinks, exhales, puls away her hand and turn halfway away from Jon. 

She looks away, then at him, he is almost leaning over her but still too far. “That’s impossible.”

Camera on Jonerys

“I wish it were.” (SEE THIS IS WHAT I AM SAYING MY POOR SON)

“Who told you this?”

“Bran. He was it.”

“He SAW it?” She sound clipped, the ARE YOU KIDDING ME tone clipped 

“And Samwell confirmed it.”He read about their marriage at the CItadel” – camera on Emilia —”without even knowing what it meant” (OK BUT FUCK OFF SAM GILLY READ THAT) - Dany’s face her, she is clearly restraining herself because this sounds insane.

“A secret no one in the world knew, except your brother and your best friend, doesn’t seem strange to you?” she shakes her head and it breaks my heart how you can see the wheels turning in her head going fuck here we go again, I laid my heart bare and that’s it. Yet another betrayal. 

Camera on Kit. He looks at her, takes a step forward “It’s true, Dany.” – camera on Emilia – “I know it is.” (UM HELLO DANY I AM HYPERVENTILATING BITCH)

Dany shakes her head, her face looks full with distrust. Then it goes to despair - her voice shaky “If it were true, it would make you the last male heir of the House Targaryen.” – camera on Kit HE FUCKING FROWNS LIKE WHAT – camera on Emilia – “You’d have a claim to the Iron Throne” – camera on Kit and his face goes again WHA— 

THEN THE FUCKING HORN SOUNDS. Jon turns his head towards the door, but Dany keeps staring at him and she looks heartbroken.

They go out and it’s all business. He nods to her and she leaves. Interesting though - she comes out first. Jon turned back towards the sound so if they were just running out he should have come out first. Either he remembered to be courteous or there is another small exchange we didn’t get to see. Or maybe I am reading way into things and it was a lame ass decision hahah. 

Ok so the reveal to Dany - you better fucking take notes Sam cuz this is how you do a reveal: being calm, level headed, explaining to the person as much as you can, answering questions.

On Dany’s reaction: my friend @oadara said it so so well in this post here. So, building on that, we need to put her reaction in context, just like I did with Jon’s cold shoulder. Dany’s discussion with S.asnsa is fresh in her mind, not just the part about who is manipulating whom, and that must drive her nuts now, but also the part in which S.asnsa did a 180 on her just when she thought she was making progress, so feeling like she was being manipulated. One of course must start asking questions. Has Jon just found out? Has he always known? Did he seduce her to take her armies and her dragons her her throne?? Moreover, Dany specifically tells S.ansa that her only goal in life has been the Iron Throne. Imagine that - having one goal in life, and suddenly someone comes in and can just rip it all away from you, poof just like that, they just need to say the word. Moreover, males have preference… and so many would rather follow a male than a female. And that’s a fact.  

Moreover… she still thinks herself barren… 

Like I am not saying Dany suddenly hates Jon or will cast him away (ok maybe she will initially I have a prediction/theory I will explain in a different post). I am saying… JUST GIVE DANY TIME. She just found out and now she gotta go save everyone’s ass. Let the girl breathe.

I was asking myself but why would Jon tell her now? If he himself wishes she had never known? I think it may be a very Ned Stark thing - he genuinely thinks he will fall, and he wanted to tell her the truth, because Rhaegar Targaryen may be his dad but Ned Stark is his daddy. 

What do you think? As always, dms and asks are open! 

Will make a preview post and another about my jonerys theory. 

All in all, this episode was incredible and I loved it. I am so not ready for the fight fuuuuuuuuuuuu-

[manifestoonmoralmanlove]

Help I’m being harassed by the #1 sexeist man! Review

Sorry I had this mostly finished on the backburner for awhile but Soulless grabbed my attention pretty hard.  BUT NOW THIS IS FINISHED! I hope you enjoy!

Summarize

So the story is as follows…Takato is an actor who was voted Japan’s sexiest man for a few years in a row. However his title is usurped by this dude named Junta that he’s working on a new movie with.  Takato is salty about this but is professional about it and just kinda harbors secret bitter feelings.  He is polite to and gives advice to Junta when asked.  Junta invites him out to drinks, Takato doesn’t want to but everyone within a 5 mile radius swoops in to pressure him into it so he caves.

GOD WHY IS THAT A THING? That for sure happened in Love Stage and I’m sure I’ve seen that trope elsewhere.  Where not just a 3rd party will pressure a reluctant uke but like a fucking horde of strangers with nothing to gain from it just crawl out from under the fucking floor boards like little hack-handy roaches to advance this shitty plot.

ANYWAY!

Junta gets Takato drunk, films embarrassing stuff that he threatens to blackmail him with, and a fucking horror scene of a rape ensues.  Like, not dissimilar from Junjou in the fact that the atmosphere is drawn as oppressive, the uke is riddled with very palatable fear, the seme wears crazed expressions, and behaves violently.  Hell, Takato manages to shove him off and tries to lock himself in the bathroom for his own safety but Junta rips the door off its fucking hinges. Takato PLEADS like BEGS for him not to but he is violently raped against the wall while Takato cries saying OUT LOUD that THIS IS RAPE!  Afterwards he’s crying and shaking, talking out loud about how he’s frightened if others find out and feeling humiliated.

Junta picks him up and is like, “Man I guess I got carried away, but like REAL TALK I have a crush on you. The rape was kinda bad I guess, but it’s not my fault cause I literally cannot control any of my actions. I can prove I like you by having gentle sex with you in the bed.”

Takato agrees to this.

I BEG YOUR FUCKING PARDON?!

The implication here is that Junta just looked SO SWEET! But like also it wasn’t gentle sex at all and Junta is going to continue to blackmail him. HAR HAR!

Like here is a hot fucking take authors and fans of this particular type of garbage… that kind of writing does not make this more consensual and okay.

Like if you threw a dude in a pit full of scorpions, and he is being stung by a thousand stingers and the poison is slowly and painfully shutting down all of his bodily functions and it’s all really gruesome…but then someone asks if he wants to be saved and the dude in the pit goes from screaming in agony to saying, “Actually I like it down here.”

Does that mean being pushed into that pit, and what he went through in that pit is okay? NO

What does him suddenly wanting to marry all of those 1000 scorpions mean?

IT MEANS YOU’RE A FUCKING HACK WRITER WILLFULLY CONTRIBUTING TO RAPE CULTURE FOR A QUICK BUCK YOU HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK!

Like you can have your stories where a rapist is redeemed from his awful actions, but more often than not I see these fucking outrageous hairpin fucking turns in writing.  

I mean, Junta does apologize?  Which is better than some semes but honestly I’d rather him not even bother because he’s not sincere.  He apologizes all the time for the sex acts he puts Takato through but goes on to blackmail him, hurts him, abducts him, and threatens him to his face with more rape. LIKE NOT EXACTLY FEELING AS IF YOU TOTES CARE ABOUT HOW HE FEELS ABOUT ALL THIS, BOYO!

The next chapter while they’re being filmed for the show Takato throws him against the wall and hijacks the dialog to make it sound sexually threatening.  Takato IN HIS MIND ADMITS “DAMN HE’S ACTUALLY USING ENOUGH FORCE TO HURT ME!!!!”  So after this shot, Takato gives Junta some advice and makes no shit, this fucking face…                        

And that…face, (improperly attached to what I presume is a series of straws coated in plaster masquerading as a neck)  gives Junta that GOTTA RAPE NOW BONER!

So that’s what happens, he just violently drags off a kicking and screaming Takato in the middle of shooting and no one bats a fucking eye. SEEMS LEGIT!  What’s baffling to me is they don’t even draw a sex scene for this.

MY BRO, WHAT IS EVEN THE FUCKING POINT THAN OF ALL THESE RAPE SCENERIOS IF THERE AREN’T HIDEOUS MELTING FACES AND WACKY INFLATABLE TUBE MAN BODIES TO GO WITH IT!?

But afterwards Junta says the classic creepy shit, “Give up already and become mine. I have no intention of giving you to someone else.” WE KNOW THE DRILL!

Takato looks up at Junta and goes, “Yeah guess I love this dude.”

AND LIKE FOR WHAT? FOR HUH? WHAT’S GOING ON HERE!?!!??!?!?!?!?

But also, are you fucking joking here? Like I’m not into the 10 volumes of “Am I gay or not?” bullshit we get in yaoi. But, depending on the pace and characterization, there’s nothing wrong with dragging out the love being 100% mutual. Here’s it’s in chapter fucking 2.  Even Junjou went at a slower pace than that.  When I read that I couldn’t help feeling like, “WELL WHAT’S THE CONFLICT IN THE NEXT 3 AND A HALF VOLUMES GOING TO BE?”

Which, admittedly is unfair, there can be lots of relationship conflict outside of mutually expressed love…However for a rapist/tsundere dynamic? That’s usually at least 75% of the conflict.  But oh, maybe this means we’re going to get different kinds of drama!  So even while it’s not good, we’re going to get something different!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

It’s utter NOT-CONFLICT is what we end up with.  3 different chapters are, “I haven’t seen much of him, that must mean he’s bored of me. Wah! Oh it turns out he was just busy. Oh that’s good.”  PAGING FUCKING JUNJOU WITH THAT SUPER FUN, ENGAGING, AND INTERESTING CONFLICT HARDY FUCKING HAR!

Then we take a hard right into sorta worst rapist territory.  What do you mean by SORTA worst rapist Faps?

Well……

There’s a new actor Takato is working with and this new actor, and the new actor’s coding as a bad guy is about as subtle as a punch to the mouth. So new actor gets Takato drunk enough for him to pass out, gives him a hickey and ????????????

2 things happen in these situations in yaoi typically

1.)    SOMEHOW the seme MAGICS his way there beats up the worst rapist

2.)    This happens after the uke and seme have a fight. So uke realizes how mean he was for not being 100% down with all the seme’s shitty behavior cause there is a worst rapist out there. He runs crying to the seme apologizing and conflict solved.

We sorta get the 2nd here…but not in a straight-forward way.  For one there is no fight beforehand to set up any kind of relationship development.  What happens is that Takato wakes up mortified at the possibility he was raped while he was asleep.  He staggers around both in denial and utter shame.  Seme shows up and like only adds to this panic by yanking him around, forcefully washing his body, and screaming that his SLUTTY, SLUTTY FACE MANIPULATES MEN into raping him.  The seme tells him that they don’t have to have sex.  Which good, but I mean the scene is not framed as if Takato is doing this out of kindness but almost as a dare. The implication being if Takato doesn’t consent that he is the OTHER MAN’S BOY NOW and they should just break up. So there is implicit pressure there, but he does seem to initial consent.  Yet during the sex Takato internally cries about how much he hates it because his boyfriend is hate fucking him but he can’t say NO because than his boyfriend will hate him more.

LIKE FUCKING BIG YIKES MY FRIEND! IT’S SUPER UNCOMFORTABLE!

Which like, I could see a post-assault sex scene full of the emotional intensity of the anger, guilt, shame, fear all intermingling within both of them working well. (Not that post assault consensual sex is much of a thing.)  That they’re trying not to think of what Takato went through but it’s eating at both of them.  THAT COULD BE A REALLY INTENSE, WELL DONE SCENE!  However this is framed like seme ~taking back what’s his~ in a really cold, pissed-off way that’s AT BEST really insensitive to what the uke just went through and his current emotional state.  While Takato ~letting him~ cause he’s afraid his bf hates him for getting raped by someone not him.  Junta also disappears without a word, making Takato fear that YEP HIS BF DON’T WANT HIM CAUSE HE’S DAMAGED GOODS NOW!

But who has to apologize? THE UKE!

Also it turns out Takato was not raped cause worst rapist couldn’t get it up after Takato said his bf’s name in his sleep.  This is framed as better not cause of what the uke went through, but he didn’t really CHEAT so Junta can forgive him.

LIKE REALLY MY DUDE? YOU STARTED THIS OFF WRITTEN TAKATO MORE REALISTICALLY DEALING WITH THE DENIAL, DISGUST, AND SHAME OF ASSUALT AND INSTEAD JUST DEGRADED INTO THE SAME VICTIM-BLAMING HORSESHIT! GET FUCKED!

So the resolution is that the relationship is fixed and Junta threatens and blackmails the rapist. Which, I’m glad he didn’t get off scot-free but those interactions felt less like protecting the safety of Takato and more like, HE’S MY PROPERTY NO TOUCHY!

So from here we take a big turn.

Most of the 3rd volume is a big back-track to the beginning of their relationship before it was romantic or sexual.  And boy howdy it feels like a retcon for the fuck awful pace of the 1st volume.

Basically it’s about how Junta became obsessed with Takato while working on a movie cause idk he’s pretty and he accidently heard Takato say something shitty about him once. While I wouldn’t call this good the fact that they actually let this blooming of affection take place makes it the best chapters so far.

Like at the end Junta resolves himself to let his feelings be known and to start a romantic relationship with Takato.  Without the context, that felt like almost sweet? That he’s accepted his gay feelings and wants to share his life with Takato.  However if you REMEMBER THE CONEXT it means that Junta planned to drug, blackmail, and rape Takato WHICH YANNO REALLY TAKES A SHIT ON YOUR CUTE LITTLE FEATHERS BLOWING IN A BREEZE TO GO WITH HIS CUTSY MONOLOG YOU SHIT-SUCKER!

But lordy the next chapter comes along which is a retelling of this prequel from Takato perspective. The only saving grace here is that it’s not nearly as long as Junta’s.  Basically Takato realizes that Junta is OUT for him, and has a fucking frightened panic attack in his car afterwards. He’s literally shaking and monologing about how scary the situation and Junta are.  And this isn’t me even inferring words in Takato’s head, he repeats scary over and over.  Takato even decides to over book himself so he’ll have fewer chances to interact with Junta. So he does the classic ~pass-out from overwork~ thing so Junta can save him and from here we immediately transition to,

Oh now it’s modern day and they’re banging…..okay????? VOLUME ENDS

The next plot point comes down to this:

Paparazzi are OUT TO GET THEM! There is a photo leaked that isn’t really suggestive at all and Takato pretty much loses his job for it. However Takato finds out there is a much more damning picture of him and Junta, so he decides to break up with Junta, and like…just literally do whatever the paparazzi wants in order to protect Junta. But like, what’s the point of hiding it from Junta? And if this dude is going to blackmail you, what are you going to do to make sure their demands end or don’t get to the point that they’re unfeasible to continue giving in to them?

HAHA OH WELL!

Takato doesn’t even get to see the paparazzi again, his producer finds out and sexually assaults him to PROVE A POINT!

AND BOY HOWDY I’M WAY INTO THAT TROPE! LOOKING AT YOU OURAN HOST CLUB!

Cause HAHA nobody could literally want anything out of a wealthy, well-connected actor other than gay rape amirite?

Meanwhile Junta is cultivating a rumor that he’s having an affair with an actress.  Cause of fucking course Junta figured that the only reason his boyfriend (whom is often upset at how shitty he gets treated by him) is an elaborate ploy to protect him from the paparazzi.  But you know OF COURSE we see the actress and Junta flirting a bunch to stir the pot in a private setting but like…they only need to be seen on an outside date once.  This means that he’s fucking lying if he says that he only did it to SAVE BOTH OF THEM FROM THE PAPARAZZI.  He was getting a kick out of it, which I think you could argue that he was being unfaithful or in the very least being a fucking dick about it.

But, Junta goes on TV and says that he’s not having an affair with the actress or with Takato but he is moving in with Takato.

Yeah nothing dispels rumors of an intimate relationship like the announcement that they’re MOVING IN TOGETHER!  Now, as I understand it, the housing market is very different in Japan from the west and therefore it’s less of a huge TELL of an intimate relationship if two people move in together.  But even if that’s the case, saying you’re moving in with someone you’re accused of having an affair with…is not helping my friend.

However it is phrased this way, and immediately the entirety of the media believes this whole-heartedly, and the paparazzi guy (despite having a much more damning picture he hasn’t released) is like, “Wowzers he’s so smart, he has BEAT ME! I’m giving up being paparazzi.  That man CHANGED MY LIFE FOR THE BETTER! HOW COULD I EVER THANK HIM!?”  Even the fucking company that hired this paparazzi guy is like, “WELL I’M TAKING MY BUSINESS IN A NEW BETTER DIRECTION! THAT JUNTA GUY SURE, SHOWED ME!!!!”

ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING!? You might as well have every criminal in Japan throw their hands up going, “WELL GOLLY!  DID YOU SEE HOW GREAT THE ACTUAL RAPIST AND ABUSER JUNTA IS? BEST NEVER DO A BAD THING EVER AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

GO EAT EVERY DICK!!!!

That’s pretty much the end up to this point.  I mean, there are some odds and ends chapters here and there but they’re pretty much excuses for sex chapters. And like, even though those are pretty rapey, I kinda respect them more than when you attempts to interject some semblance of relationship drama, cause holy hell that paparazzi shit ugh.

Though if you’ll allow a side rant from me about how the story treats sexual assault. According to the author it comes in a lot of flavors and most of them are awful.

For one: if it’s a hunky guy who loves you: Rape is great.

For two: if it’s a hunky guy but you already have a rapist errr boyfriend: You’re cheating.

For three: if you’re being obnoxiously sexually harassed by your superior….BUT YOUR PRODUCER IS AN OLDER EFFEMINATE GAY MAN: It’s hilarious and harmless and helps cement your Marty-stuness.

For four: if a woman is being groomed by a superior: It’s a bad thing that should be stopped.

3 and 4 happen within the same chapter but the author is so oblivious at the hypocrisy of the framing it’s absurd.

Story

Okay so the story is a mess. The relationship progression goes way too fast for it to make sense, and negates a lot of the drama you could have had.  It’s possible that the editors wanted sex ASAP for some kinda quota, and that’s not necessarily bad. But it really burns my biscuits when people think, “Oh that means lead with rape and that they’ll be in mutual love by chapter 2.”  

Sure most tsundere stories have a bit more lead up until the uke can confess he likes the seme back but this is not the right way to break that mold. The hairpin turn makes no sense and neuters a lot of potential conflict.

It puts the comic in a pacing hole to start and the rest of the story does little to mitigate this. I think there was an attempt to rectify this by going back to the story BEFORE they were a couple.  However that was horrible botched as well.  It brings the pacing to a screeching halt with a volume of Junta being like “OH NO HE’S HOTTTTTTTTTTT” despite the time devoted they do very little to give them an actual relationship or investment in his personality. It’s all a one-sided pining boner for hideous wiggle mouth.

The content of the writing is just embarrassing too.  I can be a more forgiving in the sex-excuse side chapters.  But like there’s a side chapter when Junta is magiked into a child and for like what? So we can coo, that the author drawing a small snowman with a poorly defined face and pretending it’s a child is super adorable?

So we can excuse the shitty way Junta behaves?  Is anybody weirded out that 3 year old Junta is more thoughtful and respectful than his adult-self?  YOU CAN’T EVEN WRITE HOW CHILDREN BEHAVE YOU STUPID SIMP! UGH!!!!

But also the arc on the paparazzi just ended in a total train-wreck of awful writing no question.

Sexual politics:

They’re fucking atrocious here.

1.)    The first scene is framed as a brutal rape but 30 seconds later its fine and they’re in love.

2.)    The handling of the ~worst rapist~ trope with big buckets of victim blaming and as if Takato was ~cheating~ is horrendous.

3.)    The worst rapist is also a sex worker.  So we’re framing sex workers as bad people and sex work as a bad thing. BUT GOLLY KEEP DRAWING GRAPHIC SEX SCENCES!

4.)    The sexually predator producer of Junta being framed as harmless cause he’s effeminate is god fucking awful.  It’s also this bizarre homophobic double standard that this man (and by extension his gay brother) are a joke because they behave stereotypically gay and aren’t ashamed of being effeminate.  MEN ARE ONLY HOT IF THEY ACT LIKE PREDATORS IN A MANLY WAY, OR ARE ASHAMED OF ANY SEXUAL SUBMISSIVE OR EFFEMINATE TRAITS THEY HAVE! I LOVE WATCHING MAN ON MAN SEX BUT SO HELP ME GOD IF THEY’RE ~GAY ABOUT IT!~

5.)    They ~sorta~ take sexual harassment seriously when a female actor is being groomed. Like they joke about it but also DO SOMETHING TO STOP IT really fucking muddles what we’re supposed to think about sexual abuse at all here.

6.)    Takato’s producer sexually assaults him to ~prove a point~ that Takato is putting himself in situations where rape COULD happen.  The fuck is this horseshit! “These men could do the very bad thing of raping you. Let me demonstrate what that bad thing looks like cause I’m sure you’re UNAWARE!” THE FUCK!?  Also this sexual assault is framed more seriously than Junta’s producer because this producer is coded as MORE ATTRACTIVE and less openly QUEER! ONCE AGAIN I EXCLAIM! THE FUCK!?

7.)    Takato OPENLY describes Junta as scary and calls his acts stalking, kidnapping, bullying, blackmail, threats, and rape.  He also tries to actively avoid his boyfriend at times, yet are we not to take ANY of this seriously?  Are we not to take this seriously cause this behavior is acceptable when the one dolling it out is attractive and charming?  Are we not to take it seriously because we can’t except Takato to be honest about how he feels about any of this?  I don’t believe in given a blanket free-pass when Takato doesn’t consistently express desire in Junta’s abusive tendencies.  Like maybe you can argue some of the sex is consensual but can you argue that Takato is into the blackmail, when he never mentions he likes it? Can you argue he’s into the non-stop attention when he SOMETIMES BEGRUDINGLY admits he enjoys it?  If so does just that get a blanket pass?

JUST UGH! YOU’VE GUYS HAVE PROBABLY HEARD THIS RANT FROM ME BEFORE I FUCKING HATE TSUNDERE SEXUAL POLITICS!

 Characters

Takato

Okay so Takato. What’s this dude’s deal?  

Okay let’s start with some boring basics:  He’s a hard-working actor who strives to be professional.  He’s a perfectionist, who seems to easily and joyfully take on the role of mentor/protector. He does seem to take himself too seriously at times. He appears to subtly prod at people who have wronged him or others rather than confront them directly. He’s also shown to be a tsundere with a submissive streak.

There’s nothing bad on its face about this characterization.  However Takato is described as an intelligent professional actor, with years of experience.  Yet his handling of the paparazzi thing is pretty much he goes to shit and opens him up to more rape cause lol hot.  I could maybe understand this characterization if the paparazzi thing really hit Takato on a personal level and he made some irrational choices due to feeling as if he was being attacked or that he was going to permanently lose his job.

However he is shown as calm, as he’s making these choices and openly states that he will gladly give up a career he worked so hard for if it would save Junta’s career. Did he not, even for a second consider he could save both of them?  This is not consistent with his characterization and it exists to put Junta on a pedestal he does not deserve.

SPEAKING OF…

Junta

So…this fucking guy. Junta is a young up and coming actor with early success.  He’s shown to be an impulsive, passionate person who relies heavily on an ~angelic charm.~  He has no shame in using calculated, underhanded methods in order to achieve his goals.  He is shown as impatient, has a temper, and is openly disrespectful to his partner.

Yet the world fawns over him with praise for how attractive, charming, and ~resourceful~ he is.  He is described as having a few low wage jobs out of high school and therefore he’s an expert in EVERYTHING FOREVER!

I believe they were trying to humorously contrast Junta having a sweet, innocent angelic charm, with the reality of him being an aggressive a-hole.  However they do not frame the aggressive a-hole side of him as bad but rather as HOT.  Like I GET THAT on some level but since he’s a manipulative, abusive, rapist, it just reminds me of all the REAL LIFE INDIVIDUALS who put on a good face for the public but to their partner they’re monsters.

Art

I legit hate this fucking art. Like straight up and down, I have a hard time even reading it on a visual level.  Like the anatomy is OKAY and the backgrounds are OKAY but a lot of it is less than okay. The worst culprits are the character designs, the necks, and the expressions.  

I am so done with mediocre artists churning out, not only same-faced characters compared to their own art, but characters that are basically same-faced compared to the main-stream.  The only thing unique here is that Junta has dark hair underneath his lighter brown hair. OH GOLLY!  It’s so fucking bland and Junta’s got best seme in the Chil Chil awards and I’m so salty about that I could give the dead sea a run for its money. UGH!

The necks are super long, thin, twisty, sharp angels, and with her sad attempts at tendons it looks as if they’re constantly tense.  And in worst case scenarios they don’t look as if they’re attached to even half of the chin. Yeesh!

The expressions…fucking lord.  In the best of times, the facial spacing is just bad, with eyes and mouths off center, and ears too low.  The author has no concept of how lips/faces work so all the kisses are REAL BAD. It’s either just like…triangles smashed at each other, no lips involved, or they’re like 1 foot apart layering their tongues on each other like they’re building a fucking sandwich.

The worst of times is Takato’s sex faces.  THEY MAKE ME WANT TO VOMIT-SCREAM!

Basically he squints and his eyes get so watery it looks as if they replaced his eyeballs with just well…water.  You can’t make out pupils, irises, NOTHING!  But the mouths are the pinnacle of puke-inducing.  They’re these enormous squigglies with no rhyme or reason, just oozing saliva like a breach in a dam. At best they’re cartoonish in an unerotic way. THESE SQUIGGLES! I CAN’T STAND THEM!  YUCK!

TL;DR

Poorly drawn and written Rapist/Tsundere garbage.  While it doesn’t hit EVERY little overplayed trope, it’s still pretty cliché.  Just, it’s similar and up there with Junjou in the shitty department if you ask me.