#i remember never understanding the joke at the end as a kid 😭😭

[t4tails]

theres so much happening here

[pyramid-of-starrs]

hongjoong getting at us mad because we hung out with a different kpop boy group nsfw ?😭idk it came to me because of how atinys make the joke of hongjoong hating how we stan other groups-

Only look at me

Jealous mean Dom Hongjoong x Afab reader

Summary: You get caught by Hongjoong coming back to your home from a late night concert and he has to remind you who's fan you're supposed to be.

Genre: Angst and Smut

Warnings: Acts of possessiveness, begging, kinda toxic but like not really lol

Smut warnings: Rough sex, use of sex toys, oral sex (M recieving), gagging, choking, friends with benefits, mentions of punishment, punishment sex, use of consentual force (Y/N have a preestablished agreement), Mean dom Hongjoong, slapping, cum eating, throat fucking, condom sex, Sir kink??, pain kink??, Humilitation??, Degrading??

A/N: Idk what it is about Hongjoong but like, every fic I write about him he's getting his dick sucked, idk he just deserves that.

Minors dni

You walked into your loft around 3 am, you dropped your clear tote bag, and took off your shoes, the living room was dark, you turned on the light and were startled to see your best friend Hongjoong sitting on your couch with his leg folded over the other and his arms crossed.

"Jesus fucking Christ Hongjoong you scared the hell out of me, why are you just sitting in my house in the damn dark?!" You yelled, still shaken up while holding your fast-beating chest.

"You're coming home late." was all he replied, you didn't ask why he was here again because Hongjoong often randomly appeared at your house every since he got the spare key in case of emergencies.

"Yeah, I was out with my friends."

"Doing what?" He tilted his head slightly. "I'm your friend, your best friend to be exact, why didn't I know about this friend outing?"

"Uh- well, ya know it was... um... preplanned." You scratched your head then tried to slyly slide your clear tote bag behind you.

"That's not your normal purse, why the sudden change?" He questioned.

"Oh um, the place we went to searches bags so I figured I'd save myself the hassle, haha." You awkwardly giggled as you felt yourself caving under pressure.

"You still haven't told me where this place is Y/N." The look in his eyes were like daggers.

"Fine... me and some friends went to the Stray Kids concert tonight." you cracked.

"Oh! How fun! but it's" He checks his Apple watch. "3:47 am Y/N, in all my years of doing concerts I've never known them to end that late." He said sarcastically.

"Well...um." You stuttered and he rolled his eyes.

"Spit it out Y/N"

"Chan saw us in the crowd and remembered me from when you introduced us and he invited us out for drinks and food-"

"Ooooh drinks AND food, well damn you have had a full night huh?" The sarcasm was very evident.

"Hongjoong don't be like that."

"Like what? I just thought you said that you didn't need to see any other group besides Ateez since we are the best. Yet here you are."

"My friend bought the tickets." you sigh.

"And what did you do while you were out for food and drinks until 3 am." His eyes narrowed.

You stood there in silence choosing not to answer and avoid all eye contact.

"Come here Y/N." he stood up.

You walked over to him slowly then stood in front of him.

"Get on your knees." You stood there now listening for a moment. "Now!" You chose not to prolong it since he was already clearly mad, you got down and kneeled on both your knees on the cold hardwood floor, luckily you had on knee highs so it wasn't too bad. Hongjoong got closer to you and stood above you as he looked down on you with his arms folded you looked at him with pleading eyes hoping he would take a little mercy on you. "Get to it Y/N." you knew you were royally fucked. Though you two were only "friends" you and Hongjoong had a few established understandings, one of them being that you couldn't enjoy any other group except Ateez or he could punish you in any way he saw fit. At first, it was things like pinches or forehead flicks but then the punishments started to become things like standing in front of him with your clothes off or letting him edge you for hours on end. You weren't complaining, sometimes you would purposely get caught with another group's albums or merch so that he could punish you.

You started to undo his pants and zipper while trying to maintain eye contact, you pulled his hands down then his briefs to reveal his half-hardened dick.

"I'm sorry Jongie." you said still trying to get out of the punishment, he grabbed the base of his dick and the back of your head and shoved his cock down your throat causing you to gasp audibly, he held his dick there as it pulsed in your mouth.

"I don't want to fucking hear it." He had no remorse for you as he started to fuck your throat, you could feel his dick getting harder and harder as it became harder to breathe from your mouth the deeper he would go. "You shouldn't have done it if you were going to be sorry, now you have to pay the price." He lectured you as you continued to gag on his length while his hips never stopped, his thighs hit your chin, that's just how deep he was going.

"I won't do it again." was muffled from your very occupied mouth and it just irritated him more, he sped up the pace he was going, your throat was already sore from the screaming but him fucking it made it worse, the sting from your punishment was exhilarating.

He kept his grip on your hair with one hand then moved his other hand to your nose as he clamped it closed, cutting off your only airway left to use. "You promise you won't do it again?" he asked. You gagged more as you started to choke from your lack of air, he didn't care, he kept moving his hips to fuck his dick in and out of your throbbing throat. You nodded to his question and he released your nose, you thought you were in the clear until he cocked his hand back a bit and delivered a smack on your cheek, you whimpered around his cock and he returned his fingers to your nose to pinch it closed again. "I can't hear you." he said in a mocking tone. You muffled out a yes that was barely understandable as mascara tears started to run down your face, he released your nose once again and you started to take large breaths through it, he once again smacked your sensitive cheek, the sting was amazing.

"I said do you fucking promise?" He said as he pulled his dick from your mouth and looked down at you with a slightly scary face while he angled your head up to make sure you two made eye contact.

"Yes, I promise." You cried out, and he smiled.

"Good job, stick your tongue out." You opened your mouth wide then stuck your tongue out, he placed the tip of his dick on your tongue and stroked himself a few times before the hot ropes of his cum started to cover your tongue. "Now swallow all of it." You closed your mouth and swallowed every drop of his cum, even licking your lip gloss-covered lips to get the remaining off, you showed him your tongue to get his stamp of approval. "Strip and go to the bedroom, but crawl since you like to bark for other men like a horny little bitch in heat."

"Yes sir." You nodded then reached for your shirt to pull it off while he watched you slowly get naked to tease him, you stood there naked before getting on your hands and knees and crawling down the hall to your bedroom, Hongjoong watched you as he followed behind you, his eyes watching you made you wetter. Your slick spread all over your core and thighs, watching was making Hongjoong eager to drill you, once you reached the bed you sat on your knees waiting on his next command.

"On the bed dog."  he commanded, you got on top of the bed, sitting on your knees once again. "Lay on your back with your knees up." you laid back and bent your knees, Hongjoong removed the remainder of his clothes but walked over to the nightstand to get something out of the top drawer, before you could look over to see what he had he climbed on top on you and positioned himself between your legs, he ripped open a condom and you whined. "Shut up, cheater sluts like you don't get to get fucked raw." He didn't waste time and lined his tip up with your sex and put it in. You moaned as he pushed deeper into you, he held the back of your legs and you could feel him holding something hard as he kept a consistent pace inside of you.

"It feels so good Joongie." you moaned.

"Wanna feel even better baby?" He asked with a devious smirk on his face, though you didn't trust him you still nodded your head and closed your eyes to enjoy the feeling, you suddenly heard a loud buzzing sound and as soon as your eyes fluttered back open you saw Hongjoong was placing your vibrating egg right on your clit. By reflex your legs tried to snap closed and you yelped Hongjoong smiled watching you squirm about.

"Fuck, fuck, what, it's too much-" you yelled, he started to go faster while drawing circles on your clit with the egg and biting his bottom lip.

"Aw is that how you were screaming at your little concert?" Curse words and incoherent pleas fell from your lips as he pushed the egg further onto your clit, your head was all the way into the pillow. "What? You can't talk now huh? Spending all that time talking and laughing with them that you're too tired to talk?" He thrust harshly, the tip of his dick hitting your spot hard repeatedly, your fingers began to curl, and you could hear him laughing at you.

"Fuck Joong, Fuck." Was all you could say before your body started to shake, your eyes rolled back as you gripped the sheets hard, your pussy tightened around Hongjoong as liquid erupted out of you, Hongjoong smiled as he looked over the mess he made of you but he needed to push you more, punish you even further. Before you could catch your breath or get cleaned up Hongjoong turned the egg up to full speed and pushed it back onto your clit, you loudly moaned at the sudden fast pace vibrations on your already sensitive nub.

"Please- please, please, please, no more, no more." you pleaded you could hardly catch your breath, especially with his dick still inside you. He started to roll his hips into you until he was full-on fucking you again, you were fucked out and overstimulated as your clit began to ring, you placed one hand on his stomach and he shot daggers at you once again.

"Take your fucking hand away Y/N." He said in a stern and deep voice, you lowered your hand and sat there and took it, the sensation of his dick and the egg was overwhelming but felt amazing. "If you want me to stop, beg for my forgiveness."

"Pleeeease nghhh~ Please I'm so-rry, please, sorry fuck-" You fumbled out, he pressed harder and fucked you deeper by leaning closer, you gripped his back and pulled him closer while your nails dug into him.

"Louder." His thrusting began to get more aggressive as he pounded into you deeply while holding the egg sloppily.

"Please, please, I'm sorry, please forgive me Hongjoong, I'll only look at you forever, fuck everyone else!" You yelled into his ear, and you once again squirted on him and the bed, your tight abused pussy squeezing Hongjoongs dick and this time earning his cum that filled the condom, he cursed as he pulled out and turned the toy off. He rolled and took a seat on the side of the bed to return everything to your night stand then got up to walk to the bathroom to throw the condom away.

You were stuck in your position for a second, as your body came down from your high you slowly started to sit up in the bed. "It's not fair! You know I like it when you fill me up." You could hear the bath faucet turning on before he walked back in.

"Then stop being bad, that's the only time you will get rewards." he leaned over to give you a peck on the cheek before helping you out of bed so he could walk you to the bathroom so you two could take a bath together, he always acts so sweet after being a demon. You went in first to pee then swung the door open when you were done.

"I wasn't being bad, I was going to a free concert... then getting free food and drinks after." You mumbled the last part to not rub salt in his wound.

"Well it wasn't free since you had to pay the price with me." you rolled your eyes, he got in first then you got in after him, the hot water soothed your tense body and burned the new scratches on Hongjoong's back.

"Jeez talking like that like I belong to you Joong."

"You do, you belong to me and only me, so only cheer and look at me... and I guess all of Ateez... but I better be your bias!"

You chuckled at him. "Yes sir"

[julianalvarez9]

bad liar / mason mount

request: heyy! can i request something like where the reader and mason mount are in a secret relationship and one time mason accidently called a woman by your name while hanging out with his teammates? thank you x

author's note: this is like the oldest request i have rn 😭 sorry that it took this long. hope you like it!! feedback is always appreciated, tysm<3

word count: 1k

you had never talked about keeping it secret in the first place, but it felt good to keep your relationship between you, close to your chest and away from judging stares and evil whispers behind your back. the fear that they could label you as unprofessional due to how you two had met in the first place -being part of the staff at the national team, and mason being a player- sure creeped in the back of your mind from time to time, making you doubt about everything you two had built during the year you had been together. but mason, being the incredible understanding and loving person that he was, always assured you that you two weren't doing anything wrong, and that your job was safe.

still, only your families knew about you two: not even his teammates at chelsea, and certainly not his mates from the national team.

you were certain that no one suspected anything yet, but you also knew that your boyfriend was like a little kid trying to hide what he got you for your birthday: he can't keep his mouth shut, even if his life depended on it, and ended up spilling everything as soon as someone questions about it. but he had been committed, gladly, to your request: when we tell the world, it had to be in your terms. and you had to congratulate him for how well he was holding up, lasting a year with no hints or slip ups.

at least, until tonight.

he spoke, in a joyful tone, maybe a bit taken by the alcohol already. "thanks, y/n- i mean, sasha". he had tried to thank jack's missus, for passing him the snack bowl, when your name spilled from his mouth before he could catch it. in that second, he sobered up instantly and prayed that everyone at the couch was too busy watching the game jack had practically begged to watch, to even heard his lapsus. his prayers went unanswered, he realised, when he saw his teammates' faces, shocked in recognition at hearing your name exit his lips.

"wait, what? did you say y/n?," jack inquired.

"what?" mason tried to act nonchalant, knowing damn well that he never could hide the smile that adorned his lips when he lied. it was even worse that the fact made him remember you, how you always tease him about how he's such a bad liar, which again, made it even harder for him to appear innocent.

"y/n, as in our physio at england camp, y/n?" john reassessed again, providing context for those who hadn't quite understood what was the matter with the name that had exited their teammate' lips.

"you're hearing things" the chelsea player tried to downplay the situation, gulping a big sip of his beer, which he had noticed that he was holding onto the bottle with excessive force, as his fingers were turning white. "i think john heard just right," assured his best friend with a growing smirk on his face. he had picked about it the last time they were at camp, but mason had denied it every time, so he dropped it. until now.

"shut up, declan" the boy grumbled, already annoyed at the topic, but mostly at him, knowing that there was no way that they would drop it if he didn't admit that, yeah, he had accidentally called your name.

"well, she's pretty cute if you ask me" said conor, coming to the living room again after he had gone away to do god knows what. mason's patience was running low, and even more with the flirty tone his teammate at both his club and the national team had used. of course, he didn't know that you were already taken, but it had made his blood boil nonetheless. "if you don't shut your mouth now, gallagher…", mason said, with a threatening tone.

"oi, getting jealous now, aren't we?" stones joked, and he noticed that, in the heat of the moment, he had gotten neck-deep into the entire thing, and couldn't back down now. at least not without accepting defeat, which he was reluctant to do. he knew you wouldn't get mad at him if he told his teammates, but he still felt bad for doing so without talking to you about it first.

jack's eyes, now bright with the spark of mischief in them, pushed the subject further, wanting to hear his friend say what he had been thinking since the topic was first brought up. "is there something that we should know, masey boy? do you have a girl that you didn't told us about?," he continued with the banter, encouraged by the cheers the boys were shouting. along them were some of their girlfriends, like sasha, who slapped her boyfriend to try and stop him from embarrassing mason further.

"absolutely not. we're just colleagues," he was too quick to answer, feeling how his throat was drying alarmingly fast. he took another sip of his beer -that was already getting too hot for his liking-, which elicited a weird frown to grow on his face. "then call her right now and we'll see how she responds," suggested declan, and he immediately choked with his drink when he processed what his friend was asking of him.

"what does make you think that i have her numb-" he was interrupted when his phone, that was placed on the coffee table in front of him lightened up, showing his lockscreen with the notification that had prompted his screen to turn on in the first place.

message by y/n 🤍

thankfully, something had happened in the game which made all the boys focus on the tv screen rather than his friend who had rushed into the coffee table to pick up and hide the electronic device deep on his pockets. but john, who was seated next to him, got to see who had messaged mason and understood perfectly why he had reacted the way he did. he patted him on the back, before getting close to his ear to mutter "i personally don't have my colleague's contact saved with her name and a white heart emoji, but you do you, brother," with a mischievous smile on his face.

safe to say, the next time that the boys had to join the national team for international duty, your interactions with mason were closely watched. the fleeting glances and the lasting soft touches shared by you two only made their assumptions more real for them.

it was only a matter of time.

[fatuismooches]

I can't escape Dottore love it seems, so I'll use the "if you can't fight - join" idea, so I present the most unlikely family HCs, this time with Dottore (oh boy!!)

I honestly don't have ideas about how child even appeared in the first place, considering that Dottore.. isn't fond of children. My only thought is child being the only alive memento of fragile!reader

Zandik honestly has no idea how to treat his child properly, so, as much as it hurts his pride, he'll have to take a few parenting lessons from Pulchinella and Arlecchino, but he's a fast learner and passes that knowledge to his segments. Speaking of them, until kid reaches certain age, at least one segment is required to watch over you, unless they want to become subjects for next experiments

Dottore as a father is very very protective over you. Remembering your post about rulebook for interacting w/ his s/o, I imagine there's a same for his child, with similar rules, but possibly there's something like "Keep discussions child-friendly, using analogies that aren't hurtful for child psyche", "If C/N expresses interest in playing with you - don't refuse, otherwise they'll cry and you won't like the consequences. Also it's in your best interest to let them win"

So you know those baby carry bags? Yee, I just imagine Zandik with one and it kills me. He threatens fatui underlings, all while carrying a child on him in this bag..

One of pros of being Dottore's child is that they end up very knowledgeable. Of course he uses.. drastic analogies, but kid catches on quickly. If you listen to their conversation it won't make much sense, but the two(+) of them understand each other rather good.

I think child will copy Doctor quite a lot. They'll repeat his walk with hands behind his back, his laugh, smirk.. Lots of things, really. It's especially terrifying to other people if they inherited his red eyes and sharp teeth. It makes him **just a tiny bit** smug and proud. I think child also steals his coat, mask, earrings to play as him, it's honestly so cute

He's generally really proud of them (unless they want to enroll in academiya, he won't survive such betrayal, no he's not being overdramatic-- joking, joking)

-🥀

DADTTORE I REPEAT IT'S DADTTORE!! Dottore has no clue how to take care of a child, especially if you're no longer here to guide him. Hell, he could barely take care of himself at times without your constant reminders. But now the mad scientist is left with the kid, all alone and confused... though, at least his best trait as a father is his willingness to learn and ability to adapt. He will never live it down, going to the other two Harbingers for advice, even fucking Childe gives him tips as he's raised his siblings as well. Pantalone and Bina chip in too, the fun uncle and auntie. Although Dottore has his... feelings about them, they're better at making the child laugh than him. The child won't be left wanting for company, considering all his segments as well. They're on top of it when it comes to the kid.

HJEWBDEWWE THE FATUI HANDBOOK'S GUIDE TO INTERACTING WITH HIS CHILD 😭😭💗 You know that one is even longer than the first one. He's even more strict which leads to extremely specific rules in the handbook. Memorizing it is a must if you get transferred to work for Dottore. AND THOSE RULES ARE SO CUTE! It's so funny to think about how much his attitude changes when it comes to protecting his kid. He doesn't play. AND AHHAHA the baby bag, i imagine he also threatens them usually quietly because the kid is sleeping, and he finally got them to sleep, he doesn't want to wake up after trying for so long 😭 the agents are just like 🧍‍♀️

I imagine Dottore wonders a lot if his child will surpass him one day. He and the segments will usually indulge the kid's curiosity, and they pick up a lot of stuff easily. Probably can speak multiple languages at a young age 😭 His kid ends up asking lots and lots of questions, to which Dottore always has an answer. Is it always satisfying? No, but he wants his kid to discover things as well, rather than having it handed to them. That's the point of seeking knowledge. (Pls i imagine whenever his kid gets in an argument with him, they always pull 'i'm going to the Akademiya and graduate unlike you' to rile him up 😭)

And the kid definitely copies his dad a lot. 😭 It's like a mini him. 🥺 Dottore may not be the best dad, certainly not a conventional one, but he hopes you would say he's done a good job.

At the very least, Dottore makes sure his kid doesn't suffer the same way he did as a child.

[sharkinthetoilet]

Hi can I have The main trio + butters and creek with an alt autistic boyfriend that also has a habit of losing track of time when playing video games

Alt + Autistic reader

Gender: masculine

Warnings: brief talk about meltdowns, slight ableism

Notes: mostly writing this from my experience of autism, remember how it's different for everyone!!

☆-stan:

• Definitely needs an Explanation what autism is • He tries really hard to do everything for you • Tries to avoid any sensory issues, speaks for you in case of non-verbality, gets you stuff from your hyper fixation/ special interest(s), etc • Protects you for dear god • Any abliest gets a fist across their face, by the star quarterback • If you're anything like me, you get overly panicked when you aren't in your time plan • So stan specifically tries to keep reminding you of the time when playing, so you keep the time in mind • Listens to you rambling • Always forgets what certain words mean • "Are you uhh uhm.. what was the word?" • Won't treat you much differently, only like the needed things he changes • really likes your style • Helps you find new clothing, but is super unaware 💀 • Will grab kids clothing or something, but usually not something you would wear

☆-kyle:

• Does a lot of research about autism • Also 'interviews' you to find out, what he needs to know • Like if it's okay to hug, what to do when you have meltdowns, etc • Tries to show interest in your hyperfixation but ends up irritating you, because he acts like he knows more • Still shows interest but with less enthusiasm (enough to seem genuine (which he is) though) • Sets strick times for playing, he heavily relays on time plans • Overprotective. • He may infantilize you without noticing • If it bothers you, he'll try super hard to stop though • He's pretty sarcastic • Then he realises you may not understand that it was sarcasm • "I looove hanging out with cartman" ... "that was sarcasm-" • He tries okay 😭 • Doesn't have a big opinion to your style • (He finds it super attractive) • Buys stuff when he thinks it fits your style, he normally gets really good stuff

☆-kenny:

• Kenny doesn't really care • Not in a mean way, just he won't change anything • Except for like the small stuff you tell him you don't like (like physical touch, if you don't like it) • He cracks a few jokes about it but it's never really an important topic for him • He's a really good listener, you can ramble to him for hours • Is kinda oblivious when it comes to the more negative things • If you have a meltdown, you'd need to explain to kenny what that even is, before it happens • If he doesn't know, he'll just give you space • Doesn't care about losing track of time in games, he does it too • What he does care about is your style • He'll tell you everyday how hot you look • Goes shopping with you and helps choose what clothes to get • "6/10, i like how it looks, but it makes your legs look shorter, maybe go for a size smaller" • Real fashion guru

☆-butters:

• Has no idea what autism is • When he finds out, he'll do everything to make you feel comfortable • God bless his heart • Asks for permission to touch you, how you feel, if you aren't overwhelmed, always lets you choose what to eat, etc • Extremely considerate • As example, won't go to a party, if he knows that you don't like crowds (if you do yk) • Great at talking for you • That kind of "excuse me, he asked for no pickles" guy • He also think to much about your gaming habits • Except if you ask him to time it or something • Loves feeling like he can make stuff easier for you • Also loves your sense of fashion • Helps picking out clothes (while considering if you'd like the material) • Would buy similar clothes to match • God.Bless.His.Heart.

☆-creek:

• Neurodivergent couple goals • You'd guys' groupchat would be called something like: two autistis and the add guy • Craig and you would desperately try to find a shared hyperfixation and then battle each other with trivia • And tweek is just chilling • Craig knows how to handle you well, since he's also autistic • And tweek would also have his fair share of knowledge • Very supportive and considerate • Craig keeps track of time while playing (cuz he needs his goddamn time plan 🤝) but tweek loses track of time even faster than you • Both also like your style • But they aren't good at giving advice, in case of shopping or something • Kinda like stan yeah • You and craig have a ramble-tuesday where you tell each other stuff about your hyperfixations

[weird-bookworm]

ᴇʟᴅᴇʀ ʙʀᴏᴛʜᴇʀ!ꜱᴇᴠᴇɴᴛᴇᴇɴ

HYUNG LINE MAKNAE LINE

a/n: part 2 of the abomination i posted 4 (?) weeks ago

pairing: elder brother!svt x reader

genre: headcanons, fluff, crack, comfort

word count: same as before, around 1050-ish

warnings: mentions of food, mention of fire, a couple curse words, mention of harassing (dw nothing srs), idk what can be a trigger help a girl out here 😭

ʟᴇᴇ ꜱᴇᴏᴋᴍɪɴ

LOUD™

(dolby? who's that? i only know dk 👍🏻)

coddles you with love

clingy

no concept of personal space

unexpectedly protective

your room is practically his now

puppy eyes at you for everything

as if he's the younger one and not you

randomly starts singing

*soul left your body* even though you've heard him do it your entire life

despises it when you're sad

gets adorably angry at whoever or whatever made you sad— just to see you giggle

innocent babie

(protecc him pls)

aka you're more dirty minded than he is

might be the elder but you're stuck taking care of him

elaborate skits in the middle of the night

you don't tell him but you enjoy them as much as he does

ᴋɪᴍ ᴍɪɴɢʏᴜ

puppy personified

practically a giant

you often wonder if he took your share of tall genes

25/8 teasing you about your height

"want help shorty?" annoying smirk

"i'm not short you bitch, you're tall" angry pout

*cue giggles*

picks you up randomly and scares you shitless

always ends up cooking for you though

y'all have a very playful relationship

affectionate insults are as plentiful as his clothes

a giant dork basically

gets sad when you're sad

envelops you in his arms and holds you as long as you need

so so easy to prank

and so annoying because he knows every girl you know has a crush on him

flirts with your friends to annoy you

likes to cuddle

wakes up in your room 5 days out of 7

roleplays as your blanket and refuses to move

xᴜ ᴍɪɴɢʜᴀᴏ

you're his princess

the apple of his eye

he's very very soft for you

but you're the person he's fights with the most

Savage™

The sassy siblings ✨

y'all are more twins than anything

similar fashion styles

both martial artists

both self-assured

and really good looking 👀

pretty much a package deal atp

your friends are his friends, and his are yours

you're his forever priority

forces you to meditate lol

as in wakes you up early every morning and makes you sit and meditate with him

will not let you go back to sleep

safe to say he's the only person who's seen your whiny side

ʙᴏᴏ ꜱᴇᴜɴɢᴋᴡᴀɴ

dramatic

bickering

a lot of it

even bickers with your best friend 💀

does favours for you unprompted

"stop looking at me like that, i did it out of the goodness of my heart and this is the thanks i get, hmph"

*dramatically gets mad*

while you're there looking at him like •_• -_- •_•

later uses it as leverage

"remember that one time i brought you a glass of water? you owe me!" "i didn't aSK YOU TO DO IT!!"

embodiment of getting second hand embarrassment

no kidding, pretends he doesn't know you at anything remotely embarrassing you do

✨MaTeRiAl GwOrL✨

hallabong full of sass

only and only He can bully you

you have a problem? hold his americano, he's ready to throw hands

squishy lil tangerine

ᴄʜᴡᴇ ʜᴀɴꜱᴏʟ

chill asf

takes you to movies every weekend

sends you random songs he likes or songs that remind him of you

unbothered king

comfortable silences

hang outs include not speaking and listening to music

while chilling like starfishes on the floor and staring at the ceiling

strange lil guy

except you definitely take after him

down to the style of walking

bad dad jokes

never understands the good ones 💀

occasionally loud enough to rouse the entire neighbourhood

cluelessly cute

does silly things when you're sad

like sit upside down on the sofa

or just wear one of his out-of-this-world 'outfits'

he's secretly offended you're laughing but at least mission accomplished?

ʟᴇᴇ ᴄʜᴀɴ

the only remotely normal one

often complains that you're weird

and he's lucky that he got the better genes

constant fights over who looks better

often drags you to dance with him

whines for you to cook for him

even though his cooking is perfectly fine

once felt generous and decided to help you make dinner in high school

your parents came back home to smoke in the house and the fire alarm going off

don't think he doesn't notice you going soft when he laughs

often acts like the most typical 'oppa'

then both of you cringe and laugh together

sneaks out with you every friday

weirdly mature when the situation calls for it

once punched a guy in the face because he thought he was harassing you

had to awkwardly apologise because that wasn't the case. at all.

very very common and very very petty fights

[rxyhiraeth]

SO PJO CAME OUT TODAY

and i have a lot of thoughts

this is just me screaming into the void about this show that i’ve been excited about since it’s been announced.

i haven’t personally really read the books in a bit, so if i am remembering things incorrectly or forgetting if something was in the books or not, forgive me (and correct me and my terrible memory)

OBVIOUSLY SPOILERS AHEAD

EPISODE 1: I Accidentally Vaporize My Pre-Algebra Teacher

first off - chapter titles. i knew about this a while ago but im so happy we are doing this

getting the whole speech from percy in the beginning oh we are so back

blackjack??? that was blackjack right??

MYTHOMAGIC CARDS

if this gets us actual mythomagic cards we can buy, so help me god. i’m gonna spend all my money on them

i will never be able to speak highly enough about sally jackson. best fictional mom ever and i love her with all of my heart.

the “hold fast perseus. brave the storm” parallel at the beginning and end of the episode oh i’m sick to my stomach

the fountain scene felt a little… goofy? from what i remember percy just remembers her ending up in the fountain,like it sounds like he kinda blacks out. maybe that’s actually how it was in the books, but i did imagine it differently.

grover and brunner being the KINGS of gaslighting

percy is stronger than i could ever be if grover exposed me like that i couldn’t talk to him for like a year.

the biggest issue i’ve seen everyone talk about: gabe. i understand WHY they made him how he is in the tv show. it’s a disney show, they can’t have him be completely book accurate putting his hands on sally and threatening percy for money so he can play poker, but i feel like this doesn’t fit with how he ends up at the end of book 1. maybe we will see a more ‘evil’ side to him through the news interviews and stuff, or he will have a different ending, but i feel like the way he acts now doesn’t justify his end in book 1 that i expect to see in the tv show.

sally in the rain listening to olivia rodrigo i love her so much 😭😭😭

d’angelos??? it’s spelled differently but reference perhaps? i cannot WAIT to see nico i hope we get to see him in the casino

i didn’t get this until i saw someone point it out but the cuts to black were ends of chapters!! and it makes so much more sense. i will say it feels a bit odd?? but i honestly prefer it more as someone who has read the books.

i find the whole sally explaining the gods to percy interesting. it fits for the tv show more, but i love book percy just getting forced into camp half blood without any real knowledge just like “what the fuck is going on”

“Like… like Jesus?” PERCY PLS

i love this grover reveal, but the BEST will forever be the musical

“She was a fury!” “YOU’RE a furry, WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR LEGS?!?”

grover dropping the fact he is 24 in a super intense scene is very grover

that first shot of thalia’s tree lit up by the LIGHTNING gave me CHILLS

the entire minotaur scene was incredible. sally’s speech to grover and percy. percy killing the minotaur. insane

not to mention sally taking percy’s jacket to throw off the minotaurs scent? such a cool choice

EPISODE 2: I Become Supreme Lord of the Bathroom

"you droll when you sleep" YUPPP MHMM YUP

ik that the whole 'Mr. D trying to use percy to get a drink' thing is supposed to be a little joke, but its also such a good way to explain the whole "gods can get their kids to steal shit for them because they can't do it themselves" without having a whole dramatic moment explaining it.

in my head I imagined the entire camp being very heavily wooded, maybe that's just the movies having some influence over me when it comes to visualization, but it was cool to see the camp in the actually valley in a very book accurate portrayal.

OH THE CABINS MY EYES WERE GLUED THE WHOLE TIME

THEY LOOK SO GOOD

this tv show has already captured the two personally traits of percy jackson: 1. he loves his mom 2. he hates the gods

the jelly beans

seeing Luke befriend percy and be his first friend at camp luke I am in your fucking walls

I personally feel like the way they have chosen to portray clarisse is quite different from the books, but I absolutely love it. i was not a fan of her for a while in the books, but I love her immediately in this version.

also did we get to 'see' the cloven council in tlt? I don't think we did, and I like seeing it in prep for sea of monsters.

the entire scene of percy praying to his mom breaks me. oh my god. favorite scene in the entire show so far. it breaks my heart he loves and misses her so much.

"I think I've made some friends here. like real friends" luke I have a gun

the whole bathroom scene. that's it.

ANNABETH

maybe its just different seeing all these characters portrayed well on the screen, but she feels super different than book annabeth but also exactly the same. im not 100% how to explain it but there is no one better to play annabeth than leah

I am so excited to see this slowburn all over again

"she my little sister" luke please

thalia name pronunciation how are we feeling team

i have 100% been pronouncing it the other way this whole time but oh well

"sunshine" hey! when we get the first "seaweed brain" I am going to go crazy

"percy's on it. when its time he's gonna be ready" are you sure about that luke

in the books the main 'introduction scene' we got with clarisse was the bathrooms, but this scene with her in the woods feel much more like an introduction scene and im not sure if this was done on purpose, but I love her and this scene.

annabeth. I cannot stress my love for her enough

annabeth pushing him into the water instead of him falling. love her

percy FINALLY finding a place he belongs only to be forced out on a quest for his dad that he fucking hates

"good kid" from tlt musical was so right

"I am Sally Jackson's son!" what if I just started eating glass rn

anyway I am absolutely obsessed with this show already. I am so sorry to anyone who doesn't want pjo on their feed you are getting it anyway.

if this show is your first introduction to the series. read the books! or at least the lightning thief. and for the love of god LISTEN TO THE MUSICAL. I cannot stress enough how good of a portrayal of the book it is and it is my all time favorite interpretation of the books (although this show may take that top spot soon).

[tame-a-messenger]

You know in the truth or dab with Anthony, Chanse got a question that said “who would beat you in a roast battle” and with no hesitation he said Angela, and she buries him, and we all know Chanse is INSANE at Roasts, he knows exactly what to say, but for Angela To BURY HIM, she must be even better.

So I’m pissed, because Angela’s usually the one to read fan submissions for roasts and they’re usually always awful 😭

I know Angela roasts a lot of the people on Smosh, but it’s never to the level that means she destroys Chanse is roast battle, her roasts on the channel are usually just saying their catchphrases, which is equally as funny but no where near a roast.

Because she’s said she’s scared of people not liking her (or smth on the line of that) that she’s too worried if she says something a little too harsh????

But I would love for her to actually use the roasting that Chanse said she could do, it would be absolutely hilarious 😭

(link for moment 8:25)

I remember being really surprised he even picked her, then he said she "BURIES" him????! I thought maybe she's the 'closest' to matching him, but BURIES HIM?!

"Angela’s usually the one to read fan submissions"

I HATE THAT SHE DOES THEM TOO!! they're always so mid! I know she could go in. That's probably why they get her to read those, they don't want people to go home crying

"Because she’s said she’s scared of people not liking her (or smth on the line of that) that she’s too worried if she says something a little too harsh????"

I think so yeah, I've been told I can zone in on the worst possible thing to say to people, heat seeking missile to their biggest insecurity kind of stuff (I attribute this to my neurodivergence), so I'd imagine that's what she can do too. Which would make sense why she goes for the 'lamer' insults to make fun of people, wouldn't want to actually hurt people y'know?

Makes even more sense with her always asking if something was "too harsh". That's something that I ask as well (it's so hard to tell if I was being actually mean!) if she's also like me I TOTALLY understand why she probably prefers to read the commenters roasts instead! it does not feel good to hurt peoples feelings. Especially when it was meant as a joke but it's something they are really insecure about... (neurodivergence has hands I tell ya)(I think this had roots in being made fun of as a kid but not realizing it lol. people would be mean to me and I'd take it as a joke lmao)(what I think is an easy playful insult ends up being really mean and it sucks. I don't like hurting peoples feelings that easily)

That all being said I'd LOVE to see her really go in. It would have to be in a clearly safe place to do it! I think it could be fun! (maybe if she won something she'd be more up to do it lol)

[ahappyphjl]

jenna!!!!! how are we feeling about the pinof reaction finale?

personally I am about to pass away this video made me so emotional especially at the end, when phil said the whiskers come from within it was OVER for me and them thanking US AHHHH 🥺🥺😭😭 the way they view their pasts selves too, it’s so 🥺 i can’t put it into words but!!!!!! them looking back fondly and still laughing (and cringing) at their old jokes And then ranking all the videos so high like yeah!!!! they get it!!!!

and i also love how they acknowledge pinofs are camp because they are! if you get it you get it

it also made more sad about having missed their tours because they never came near my country and i never had the money or time to travel 🥲🥲🥲

soz i am a mess right now i just love them very much 🖤🖤🖤

aww i feel the same way, i loved Loved it and it’s all very overwhelming… im so glad they chose to do these videos. they understand how meaningful it is to all of us, and pinofs are clearly still very important to them too 🫶🏻 i’m gonna put my thoughts under the cut, cause turns out i had a lot to say lol

i was kinda struggling to even make gifs after watching the video, cause i kept thinking about how the pinofs have been a thing in my life since i was a kid, and how it hurt when they ended, but then now getting to remember them with love and joy with dnp and all of us here. as cheesy as the whiskers quote is, that’s what eventually did it for me too though, like i just couldn’t hold back the tears. 🥲

the reflecting on past selves thing throughout was so beautiful to see, cause they really have grown a lot since all those videos were made, and yet they still do some things exactly the same. like the little songs they come up with about random things, phil saying the sound barrier thing, and dan jumpscaring phil. but in many ways they’re not the same as they used to be, which is why when dan said he finally recognized himself in pinof 10… oof it was a lot, im just so proud of and happy for him 🥹 it all goes to show how far they’ve both come personally and professionally.

even though dnp have thanked us for our support many many times, it never stops feeling like 😭😭😭😭 though. it’s so genuine, so heartfelt. i feel like that doesn’t happen in many fandoms, not ones i’ve been a part of at least. whenever they say it, i know for sure they mean it. and that means the world to me, cause i feel like i owe them a million thanks.

i’m sorry to hear you weren’t able to see them on tour, that really sucks. i couldn’t go see their tours either, and i was really upset about that for a long time. it can be really tough not having those memories, especially when a lot of phannies do. i did finally see dan on tour this year, so that was an absolute highlight. i hope we all get to see them on tour together in the future though, who knows!!

but yeah pinofs were a lifeline for me, like i would fr look forward to the next one every day since 2011 when i watched a pinof for the first time. so revisiting them like this is everything 🥲❤️‍🩹 sorry this got so long winded, i’m not great at making my thoughts concise lmao

[panelshowsource]

it's strange to you that people talk about not having seen charlie brooker in a while because he might be on a future episode of a show that hasn't been confirmed let alone aired yet? seems a bit unfair

charlie's certainly been very busy writing and producing lots of series! some people may not know he created the beloved cunk on britain and is now working on cunk on earth, he worked on the death to 2020 mockumentary, off the back of bandersnatch he wrote and produced a kids show for netflix called cat burglar. he's a busy man! but we were used to seeing him in the panel show sphere for so long that naturally the once-every-couple-years appearance doesn't fulfill the painful nostalgia sadly

hahahahahahaha that is soooooo funny to think about and i can hardly disagree with you. but omg victoria in the woods? VICTORIA? pleaseeeeee 😭

glad you're having fun! :')

i do remember it! i was (and am!) a huuuge doctor who fan and got into panel shows as a kid because i was following people like tennant and (speaking of problematic "comedic" behaviour of the noughties) barrowman, who would sometimes appear on them, and i feel like i remember — am i remembering correctly? i swear this happened — barrowman was on quiz night and ran on stage and ate shit? like he fell face first into the floor? something like that, and the whole studio went silent! that sticks out in my mind hahaha

that show is a prime example of how a 12yo american girl can know who, like, clare balding is. because people ask me allllll the time if i understand british cultural references and socio-political history, and i'm telling you shows like quiz night were how i absorbed some of the most random names and events! i also think quiz night was on the more adult end of the spectrum — compared to, like, the actual content of buzzcocks, wilty, argumental being easy for a kid to digest because it was mostly just adults shouting at each other about meaningless things — but quiz night felt like more of a brain exercise at that age, following more adult convos and banter than some of the other shows

still, even then i really never liked chris moyles. don't get me wrong, there's a fair share of 2000s/early 2010s british comedy and general british telly content i really love or just have strong nostalgia for, but there was a strong lad/ladette culture at the time that resulted in tons of homophobia and fatphobia, "taking the piss" that was actually just bullying, clarkson, you know what i mean — and chris was always one of the voices at the forefront of keeping that culture popular in radio and comedy, in my mind. so i always had a problem with him, even way back. honestly, i don't really like any of the big name djs like him, chris evans, johnny vaughn, etc. is he even a big thing anymore? i don't really know how his career trajectory went after leaving radio one

LMAO he must because i've seen plenty of his other outfits and they are certainly not grey, this is another one of his silly inside jokes — and by inside, i mean with himself — and i gotta admit it's worth a chuckle hehe

well no one's perfect :)

—

WATCH LINKS MASTERPOST / FAQ / TAGS / ASK

[gojonanami]

Also, I'm not sure if I'm qualified to help you with physics prof gojo because I'm a B.Tech kid. My major is chemical engineering, but I do have friends from physics (engineering physics to be precise 😭 but it's physics too so :"D) major and they are chill like an iceberg to say the least. 😂 But that's just the general population in our college anyways so 🤷🏻‍♀️. The thing with us engineering kids that I've seen is we have a thing with hacking exams i.e studying just one day prior and still acing it :> and that stands for science kids in general too.

Another thing is we'd be cracking the darkest jokes (using science at times) with the most chill face.

Another thing can be that we're sneaking science into stuff without realising,

"dude I don't like ____, they/he/she be like a black body fr"

"*sees a cat* *names it Schrodinger*"

"may the mass times acceleration be with you 😌🤝🏻"

"MECHANICS IS EASY YOU SAY? *bombastic side eye* *blocks the person on every social media*"

"*sees crush* *panics because doesn't remember any pickup line* *goes with the same old - "can you feel this thing between us? Gm1m2/r²."*

*casually talks about end of time and universe*

"maybe if I run at the speed of light-"

"brooooooooo I just read modern physicsssss watch me build an hydrogen bomb and blast our labs now" (this was back when I was still in 12th grade 😭 and used to make a guitar out of meter bridge lmfaoo)

And these are just the beginner ones so I hope you still can understand it 😭👍🏻 other than that, half of us are just traumatised and don't know why we're here.

OH and I hope you don't miss on the jealousy sabbb 😏😏 because being a physics major would make her a women in stem and you know the gender ratio don't you? 😏 (In our college its like 1:4 fr 😭👍🏻)

Oh and never EVER ask them if they hate Newton more of Schrodinger more <3

They love maths, and hate chemistry somehow (I mean come on 😭 organic is fun okay?!). ( "My hypothesis failed, but atleast i didn't blow up the lab by accident." Said the physics major.)

🤩anon

omg I gotta keep these for reference because it’s perfect hahaha — I’m definitely gonna be using one / more of these haha

ooh yeah I def see reader as a dark horse kinda student where she’s very unsuspecting but ends up doing the best in class without talking much and that’s when her professor takes an interest 👀

oooh good point — I definitely will have to use the jealousy trope because we all know I love it 😭 I hate chem so I’m on their side (but I hate physics too so)

[mitsuributmexican]

Hello, honey. I read your h/c about Levi, as a father, and I really liked it. Great job, honey. Warning, honey, i will use bad words. I understand perfectly well, if you refuse, everything is fine.

If you don't mind, can I ask for papa Erwin? It doesn't matter, if biological father for Y/n or not. The main thing, is that, he loves her, finds out about her or finds her, but then takes her to himself, when she is already an adult (20+, if you don't mind). Probably, he will take Y/n to himself, when he finds out that she is not just a little sad and apathetic, but hurts herself and tried to commit suicide several times and tries again? Yeah-yeah, banal things, the absence of a father and a not very gentle mother, and, in general, not a very loving family, lol. And when he says he loves her, she'll say that, lol, sir, you're kidding, I'm not worthy of such an attitude, a cruel joke, sir.

It's fine, if you don't like it. Please, remember, that your life, is a miracle. And that you're very important. You deserve the best.

A/N: TYSM 😭😭💞💞 YOU’RE FAR TOO KIND!!! YOUR LIFE IS ALSO A MIRACLE AND YOU ARE ALSO IMPORTANT.

Yandere!Platonic!Dad Erwin Headcanons with Sad and Apathetic Reader

CW/TW: mentions of $uicide attempts and self harm, reader having a not so great childhood, yandere, kidnapping, mentions of chloroform, sad reader.

Your life wasn’t pleasant nor horrible. “Things could be worse.” you told yourself. But with your parents sometimes you doubted if it could really be worse. A mother who made you feel as if she wished you were never born. An absent biological father that left with no explanation. Your mother had gotten married, giving you a stepfather that disappointed you.

Safe to say this life was not easy on you. You grew up not feeling wanted or loved and this took a toll on you. Soon you began wondering why you were even born. There was nothing to care about, right? No one loved you (or so you thought) so what point is there to life? 

Serotonin was barely produced in your brain, only being produced during moments where you felt a sense of comfort. It wasn’t quick for all of this and its effects to manifest in you in an unpleasant form. That form being self-harm and suicide attempts. You had made multiple attempts at ending your life, none ending you up in the hospital. None being noticed. 

The pain wouldn’t go away, despite how much you wanted it to. Little did you know, someone would be willing to take away the pain and ease it for you. Someone out there loves you and that was no other than your biological father, Erwin Smith. Pretty surprising for someone that’s been absent basically all your life. But not surprising to him as he had been trying to find you for the past years.

When you were born, things got more occupying for him. Missions and expeditions being more frequent, and the death toll being higher. Erwin was often not around and wasn’t able to be present in your life. Eventually when you were a few months old, your mother had broken up with him due to how absent he was. She moved away, taking you with her. Since then, Erwin has dedicated his life to finding you.

Finally after over 20 long years, his search has wielded results. He’s found you. But you’re no longer a baby or a little girl, you’re a grown woman. He missed out on your entire childhood. As much as he’d blame your mother, he blames himself. Were he not to be so dedicated to his work, he would’ve gotten to raise you properly and give you the love you need and deserve.

So he’ll make up for it now. Whether you like it or not. He makes a plan to take you to himself. After you fall asleep, he’ll take you away from this miserable life of yours and give you the care you deserve. He silently follows you home that night. Making sure to not startle you and scare you.

Once you fall asleep, he presses a rag against your mouth with chloroform on it in order to assure this goes smoothly. As soon as he feels you’re passed out he takes you to his house. He takes some of your belongings with him so you’ll have at least a few things that you’re familiar with. One of those things is a journal you’ve been writing in for a few years. He lays you down on your new bed in a room he saved just for you after he gets to his house. 

You wake up, somewhere completely different from where you fell asleep. Still feeling tired, you shut your eyes again and rest for more hours. When you wake up again, you just lie there. Not caring. If this is how you die, at least it’ll finally be over. If not, you finally get to rest for a bit.

Eventually Erwin gets worried. You haven’t come out of your room and he hasn’t heard anything. Did he put too much chloroform in that rag? He goes to your room to check on you. To his surprise, you’re conscious and just laying there. So why haven’t you moved? 

“Y/N?” he asks. You turn your head around and see him. “Who are you?” you ask him. “I’m your father sweetheart.” he says. You wonder if he’s lying or not, as your biological father was barely present in your life and you don’t even know what he looks like. “I’m not lying in case you’re wondering. I did not get to raise you and love you like you deserved to be due to my position as the commander of the survey corps. Your mother had broken up with me because of this and since then I never saw you. I missed out on your entire childhood and I apologize.” he says.

Come to think about it, whenever your mother would talk about your biological father she would say a thing or two about him being a workaholic. You’re honestly a bit taken back by the situation so you just go along. “I brought you a glass of water.” says Erwin, handing it to you.  You waste no time drinking the whole glass as your throat feels dried out. To be honest, if someone is willing to take care of you and be a good parent, you have no qualms with having to live with them.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

After a few months of living with Erwin and coming to terms with the fact that he is indeed your father, he tells you that he loves you (platonically ofc). As cared about as he made you feel, you do not believe this. The first time he said it, you simply did not respond. The second, you just shook your head no. The third, you told him that he’s surely joking. Why can’t you accept that he loves you? 

One day when you’re out to run an errand Erwin tries to think of some explanation. Surely there must be a reason as to why you don’t think he loves you! So he looks in your room. Eventually he finds that journal you’ve been writing in. After flipping through a few pages he finds the pages detailing your attempts.

He immediately feels a sense of anger and guilt wash over him. Guilt, because he wasn’t there for you when you needed him. Anger, because the people he trusted with you didn’t notice your pain and struggles. No one noticed what you were going through, and no one seemed to care. This is why you didn’t believe that he loved you, isn’t it?

Erwin plans to make your favorite food that night and buys you your favorite foods. He does not care what he has to do to prove that you’re his daughter and that he loves you. You’re his world and he’ll do everything and anything in his power to let you know that. And he’ll get rid of anyone who makes you think otherwise or feel uncared about.

[doyouknowwhoyouare13]

Nyx watches Captain America: The First Avenger

Imma be honest…

I actually hate this movie.

Ok hate is a strong word

But to me it's actually so boring

Sorry to all the Cap fans

Like I enjoy the characters

And I understand it's to like set up the story

But omg.

So. Fucking. Boring.

At least to me

Feel free to attack me

Fake fan and all that idk

Anyways

I remember the first time I watched this

It's been a while since the last time though

IS THAT FILCH??

HOLD ON

OMG IT IS

HOLY SHIT

I NEVER NOTICED THAT

Norse myths are so cool

Bro should be blinded

BRO IS SO TINY 💀

Why is he so adamant

Like I know that is his thing

BUT BRO

Why are you talking during a movie 😐

BUCKY!!!!!!

HELP ONLY THE GOOD STUFF

Poor guy

TONY'S DAD!!!

Should I watch Agent Carter

I haven't yet idk

OMG STEVE

"How can I? You're taking all the stupid with you"

my god I love them sm

I love the Dr

I hate that he dies so early

oh...the other Dr

gross

I hate men

WOOHOO!!!

So smart

90 POUNDS??? TELL ME HE'S KIDDING

THAT'S LESS THAN ME

THE DR IS SO FUNNY ISTG

the red paints

should've known from the start

She's so pretty

HELP I LOVE THEM

He's such a virgin I'm sorry

Is that rude

Nah I mean I'm one too

Whatever it's fine

THAT WAS PENICILLIN 💀

CAN'T EVEN SEE HIS FACE IN THE WINDOW 😭

BRO HE'S ACTUALLY SO FINE MY GOD

Me too, Peggy

Crazy vertical fr

THAT KID IS ADORABLE

Why does he have an American accent

omg the song!!!!

WAIT IS THAT BLOND THE ONE THAT BRUCE WAS TALKING ABOUT AT THE END OF THE FIRST EPISODE OF SHE-HULK

NOOO HE'S NOT A VIRGIN ANYMORE

You guys this is a joke btw

Good for him!!!

GO STEVE!!!!

man he's crazy

HELP HE FLEW WHEN THE SHEILD HIT HIM

He's actually insane

In a good way

HELP GIRLS MUCH CUTER 💀

Bro is clicking every single button

that has to be trouble

BUCKY!!

HELP THEY'RE SO FUNNY

mmmmm success????

I don't knowwwww

INSANE.

HOW COULD HE DO THAT WITHOUT KNOWING

SLAYYYYY

SO FINE

BUCKY IS SO FUNNY

HE'S SO AWKWARD HELP

uh oh

FONDUEING

BRO GOT A PICTURE

Y'ALL AIN'T EVEN TOGETHER

uh oh not the mountain

do you know what that means....

Buck please no

NOOOOOOOOOOOO

BUCK PLEASE

NOOOOOO PLEASE

AHHHH BUCKYYYYY

I know he's not dead but :/

So much pain he has to go through :/

Sure is a cult god damn

NEW BEST FRIEND

GO CAP!!!!!

bros bike is crazy

THE BASIC SCREAM SOUND

Y'KNOW THE ONE?????

bro what was I thinking

this is not boring

I REVOKE MY STATEMENTS

I love this movie

Character development!!!!!!!!

BRO CHRIS EVANS IS ACTUALLY SO FINE I LOVE HIM

THE SMALLEST THINGS HE DOES

RUN STEVE RUN

I'M NOT KISSING YOU 💀

I LOVE HIM HE'S SO FUNNY

Fuck the army bro should be in the air force

He takes "I can do this all day" very very seriously

Karma

Bye bye tesseract

omg this is so sad

NOOO THE RAIN CHECK

OMGGGGGGG

CRYING

PASSING OUT

BRO I'M GONNA

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

RUNNNNNNNN

all because he was at a baseball game

NICK FURY!!!!!

NOT THE DANCEEEEEEEEEE 😭😭😭😭

end credit scene now

BACK WHEN THEY TOLD YOU WHEN THEY'RE ACTUALLY RETURNING AND NOT JUST "____ will return"

punch me like that/j/j/j/j/j/j/j/j/j/j

HE. IS. SO. FINE.

bro this is just a trailer I love it 😭

god 2012

that's insane

actually insane my lord

ANYWAYS YEAH I LIKE THIS A LOT MORE THAN I THOUGHT 💀

Captain Marvel next!!

[parcequecestnotreprojeeeet]

Hello! It's Winter. One Didier fic coming up! LOL.

He watched intently as his wife spoke passionately on her cell phone. It was almost time for bed, but she had answered a call while they were removing their decorative pillows from their bed.

Distracted by his wife’s wholesome laughter, Emmanuel could no longer concentrate on his book. He felt his face burn red when he noticed the way she playfully touched her diamond necklace - a gift from him. Once she bit her bottom lip and whispered, Oooh I love that idea. You're the best, he lost it.

“Get off!” Emmanuel whispered in a harsh tone. He wasn’t playing around anymore.

Only now, when she looked him in the face, did Brigitte realize her husband was serious. She quickly said goodbye to the person on the other end and hung up. 

“What’s wrong?” she asked, throwing her cell phone across the bed. 

“Who were you talking to? You were practically giddy.” Emmanuel huffed. “Please tell me it was one of the children!” 

She closed her eyes, preparing herself for the shitstorm that was about to happen. “It was Didier. We were talking about our event.” 

“Didier??!! What did he say that made you laugh so hard?” 

Brigitte rolled her eyes, “I wasn’t laughing that hard. We were remembering something funny a small child said to us. Stop acting jealous!”

“JEALOUS? How do you expect me to react? Hearing my wife giggle on the phone with another man is not a comforting feeling. If I wasn’t in the room, would you have started touching yourself?” He asked, spitting as he spoke.

“Are you fucking insane!?!? What the hell is wrong with you!? I can’t believe you just asked me that!” Brigitte rushed to the door, but Emmanuel grabbed her. 

“Where are going? This conversation isn’t done!” Emmanuel yelled.

“YES, IT IS! I can’t believe you think I am physically attracted to Didier. Or think I would touch…. AH! You need to think before you speak.” Brigitte scolded him. "I would never have phone sex with another man!"

He took a deep breath, regretting the words he had said to her. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said what I did. However, you should know, by now, how upset I get when you speak about Didier.” Emmanuel sulked. "He's a sore topic."

“I don’t understand why! I am happily married to YOU! I would never do anything to jeopardize our marriage.” Brigitte said, opening their bedroom door. 

“Where are you going? Aren’t you coming to bed?” Emmanuel asked, realizing his words cut her deeply. He knew how hot their phone sex was, and he couldn't imagine sharing his wife - in that way - with another man. But it was stupid of him to allow that thought to enter his brain.

Brigitte took a deep breath. “You know when people say you shouldn’t joke around? Well, I was only kidding. That wasn’t Didier on the phone. I was speaking to our future son-in-law. I just wanted to tease you into thinking it was Didier so you could get all jealous and sexy. And then we could have wild, passionate sex… but unfortunately, you took it too far with your comment.” She admitted before walking out of the room. “I’ll be down the hall. Maybe I'll see you for breakfast."

Hellooo Winter! ❤️

Omg 😂 I knew something was coming 😂 hahahahahaha Brigitte wanting a bit of foreplay pretending to be Didier on the phone to make him jealous and have some nice passionate sex, and Emmanuel just ruining the all thing with his big mouth 😭 Hopefully he learned the lesson hahahaha even tho being an idiot and the promise of what could’ve been a great night, will probably serve as enough punishment 😂

Thank you so much, Winter! ❤️❤️❤️

[khaleesiofalicante]

Holaaaa 👋🏼 ¿cómo estás Dani? ¿Cómo estuvo tu semana? What plans do you have for the weekend? Are you sufficiently hydrated?? What's your favorite Midnight song?

My week was pretty good, except that today I had to translate some documents from English to Spanish and as I started I noticed there were a lot of mistakes in the original text, so I thought to myself maybe they speak French (it was about Canadian immigration) and guess what??? I was translating something written by a Venezuelan 😒 I swear to you I wanted to flip a table... I was like "my brother why did you do this to me?" Write the shit in Spanish and translate it yourself homie... you have the skills 🤬 then I remembered how much I love money and kept my mouth shut but WTF????

Anyways...

The One with the Patrol

But the scars remained. They were imprinted deeper on some more than others.

I have them too 😭

She never ceased to amaze him.

Anjali es una diosa magnífica, la amo ♥️

“We should remove more than his sight,” Mark Blackthorn, head of the Alliance, grunted.

I agree... we should remove his skin with fire 🔥

“We should kill him!” someone yelled.

“What about his sister?” Julian Blackthorn asked. “Doesn’t she have the sight too?”

Drown her!!! 🤬

“Go David!” someone hooted.

Go David!!!!!! I love him and he is always right I will throw punches to those who disagree...

I just realized I'm a tad aggressive today 😒 I could try to control it but I don't want to...

But Alec couldn’t help but feel like having an elite group of guards for Idris was going to be more trouble in the long term.

Absolutely, they would turn vigilantes and then evil little bitches... I just know... 😌

Alec didn’t resist the smile this time.

Diego, my friend, Alec thought, how proud you must be.

“The mundane girl. Max’s friend,” Alec clarified. “You suggested that her sight should be removed. You are aware that Max is close with her?”

Oh he knows!! That's precisely the issue!!

Alec chuckled. God, this took him back. “I understand. But warlocks are protective of their relationships. Even the ones with those who are not good for them. I speak from experience, David. Talk to Max. Do not decide for him.”

Aww look at my twin!! I am love him...!! 🥰

Anjali’s dark eyes fixed on his blue ones. “I need you to speak to Hunter Devlin.”

Oh no... I don't like where this is going

And Nicolas Thorn was the oldest warlock alive. How cool was that?

And he is also my son 😌

“I can try,” David chuckled as he threw the kitchen towel over his shoulder and got to work.

Ok but... that is super hot, the towel thing is just 🤤🤤

Am I also extra horny right now?? 🤔

Selena had the weird urge to peer pressure David into getting married and having kids. Maybe her father was onto something. 

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

“You must learn how to heal yourself,” Nicolas said.

Oh no 😔 this is a premonition, isn’t it???

“Gabriel,” Nicolas said with a milky moustache. “Maybe the warlock you mentioned has a twin.”

Look at my son being extra cute and extra wise... I LOVE HIM!!!!!!

“You should have killed Rafael,” Mallory pointed out.

“I’m trying to play god,” Marcus smiled.

“I know just the shadowhunter for this,” Mallory grinned and jumped off the chair. “I’ll get you the blood.”

Don't you dare touch my Celery!!!! 🤬🤬🤬

Wait... that's what my son meant, right??

“Shopping,” she yelled over her shoulder. “I’m in the mood for celery.”

Noooooo 😮

“Max,” his father sighed. “Warlock math is not a joke.”

Regular math is no joke either it actually sucks all the happiness out of my life...

“Oh, my love,” the man sighed and pulled Max closer. “It’s alright. It’s alright.”

Can I get a hug?? 🥺

Bapak took a deep breath. “David is going to die. Your dad will die. Rafael will die. They are all going to die. Max. That’s our reality. I know it sucks. I’m not asking you to accept it or move on from it. But please, don’t try to change it. Don't try to change reality. It never ends well. Not for you. Not for David.”

This, this is everything... is beautiful, is profound, is inspiring, is heartbreaking, it's perfect 💚💚💚

Both forces gently clashed with each other, like a magical estuary.

Oh wow I just learned a new word, estuary 🙌🏼 I must find a way to use it in a conversation soon 😌

Rafael had told him to stay away from Mallory for the time being. Max hated it.

Hate it?? Maxwell she kissed you!!! Did you forget about that???? 😒 just listen to your brother 😒

The other warlock was probably asleep. It was the asscrack of dawn for crying out loud.

MAXWELL!!!! YOU PROMISED!!!!! GO BACK!!! Leave my son alone!!!

“Maxwell,” Nicolas Thorn said, looking wide awake. “You are late for your lesson.”

Nicolas you are grounded until this plot line pays out in something other that tears 😒

I no longer feel like I'm going to get hurt by this story... I am 100% sure that I will, I have absolute certainty that it will break me 😭

I can't wait 😌

Thank you Dani, I am love you 💚💚💚💚💚

OMG ALEX YOU ARE THE BIGGEST FUCKING MOOD ISTG.

I totally get your point about translations because I do them too and I just hate them so much but I also wanted to do it properly skdfnskj I just hate the amount of energy it takes to translate documents.

But yes i love money too 😎

My weekend was very meh. I had a family thing today so my home was crowded and loud and i didn't like it :( but i have the house to myself tomorrow and i am planning to go out for a movie and dinner with my friend so yay

AND YOUR REACTIONS CRACKED ME UP AS ALWAYS LMAO. Also you really channelled your twin and became the the angry/horny combo this time lol jsdfnksn.

LOVE YOU!

[freckledjoes]

I feel a little alone in this fandom cos I really really love stancy lol 😭 but when the show was on there were soo many posts like "UGH NOONE WANTS STANCY STOP" and I was like noo pls I do!

Like I understand people's hesitance but it's been years, they're both older and very different to the naive kids were when they got together first.

Maybe i just really like the 'second chance romance' trope idk. But it also always confused me how everyone seems to think Nancy hates the idea of having a family? Like she doesn't wanna be in a loveless marriage, but most of the family anxieties come from Jonathan (understandably) I feel like people project it on to her.

Also I really hate that people interpret Steve's speech as him saying "give birth to six of my children as you are a sperm receptacle and it is your place" like. That's soo people projecting again bc Nancy is a Strong Woman TM with no other qualities (in their eyes) and marriage and kids would RUIN her!!! (Though they usually don't care if its with someone not Steve lmao...) and also Steve is not asking her that!! He's sharing a dream, and likely only chose that number so there could be a 'haha mama Steve with the six kids' joke cos there are six kids fandom likes to say he adopted. There were way too many bad faith takes on that scene imo.

Also I remember seeing a few "I'd rather him die than get back with nancy" and I can't help but think do they even like him lol???? Like come on. I respect everyone's opinion but I also wish they would respect mine yknow?

Aww I know for a fact that there are quite a few people out there who do ship stancy!! You're not alone <3 I'm a steddie trooper but considering the way canon is going I definitely think you've got a fat chance at getting your endgame.

I get the appeal of a second chance romance! Outside of my arguments that I left in the previous post about this I generally just don't see their appeal but that's a matter of taste.

Gonna add a read more thingy because... I always write essays lmao.

I think most people think that Nancy's not really feeling the family life due to her reaction to Steve's nuggets speech? That's how I took it anyway, it didn't feel like she was too keen on the idea. But for all we know that could just mean that she's aversed to it right now, or the idea of 6 (I mean it is a lot - but the pick of the number was obvious too) sounded like too much. We can only assume and we will all have our own ideas. And maybe it's also just how people interpret her character, like perhaps it's an assumption based on other things they've seen throughout the show. It's fair for you (or others) to interpret it all differently :) I suppose we will find out (unless they give it an open end) in the last season.

I also never interpreted Steve's nugget speech as him saying Nancy's some kind of baby machine at all. He was literally just sharing his dream like you say, there was no misogyny going on there. And yeah! It was just them writing that narrative in there for the sake of conversation for the viewers.

I think people who say they'd rather see him die say that because they don't believe he would be happy with Nancy in that case. It's not so much about liking him or not, rather just really not wanting to see the alternative. Which I don't judge, but I get why you feel a certain way about that.

I've never been a fan of shipping wars and they are everywhere. I do think that it's up to you (not you in particular) to consume what you want to see. There's always the option to move on and scroll if someone has an opinion that you absolutely disagree with. Sure, you can start a discussion, I get where that passion could come from too, but when both people are very passionate about their ship, or even just a character on its own, it's rarely going to end well.

Every ship has seen commentary from other shippers, hating on their ship. It's how it goes. I personally wouldn't go out of my way to destroy a ship with my mighty words 'cause I'd much rather spend it on the ships I do ship :) Like why go out of your way to explain why the ship you don't like doesn't work? It shouldn't matter then, right? Just focus on the ship you do like.

Of course I'm fine with sharing my opinion if asked, but I really try to stay out of discourse over it because that's just suuuch a waste of time in the end. Like even if I state that I'm not a fan of stancy, I'd never want a stancy shipper to think that I'm shitting on their ship. I'm happy we can all enjoy and relate to characters and ships in such different ways. It's what's supposed to make it fun. :)