#i just think they're dumb ❤️

[scoops-aboy86]

Steve: (turns the car air conditioning on) Eddie: Why'd you do that? Steve: Because you're hot. Eddie: (sweating buckets because it's the middle of summer and he's wearing a leather jacket with a denim vest on top) Aw, thanks baby. But why'd you turn the AC on?

[lanternmice]

you clearly love them a lot and i am So curious what ur thoughts on seven red suns as a character are. theyre.. kinda mean from what uve seen, but you probably have some great insights!! if this means gushing about your f/o instead of serious analysis i am also in 100% support of that gbjhf

WUAGHHHHH I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHERE TO BEGIN I LIKE THEM SOOOO MUCH i really really want to talk about General interpretations but it's hard because of how obviously biased i am. but. Augh. this is so nothing but it got long and i'm embarrassed so woe read more be upon ye

i gotta start by mentioning that faelings original design & concept for suns (and spearmaster by extension) is sooo important to me and a lot of my personal interp comes from that, comics like this (link to the official discord btw) that they made for example! and though it has arguably less to do with suns, the 1.5 drought mod also has a special place in my heart but if i get too into that i'll start screaming and crying about it. just know that wanderer is so special to me and suns has two kitty cats that they love so much ok?🫶

anyways. i think because of the fact they aren't fleshed out much in canon aside from the spearmaster broadcasts there's a lot left up for the player to decide, which honestly is really fun to me and i genuinely love seeing other peoples interpretations!! but personally because you mentioned it and because i feel kinda strongly about this in particular, i wanna say that i don't think suns is mean, i think they definitely have the potential to be overprotective and intimidating, but it'd almost always be out of love. one thing the broadcasts ARE good at showing is just how much they care about basically everybody around them, even if they're a little.. dense about some things. they way they talk in the chat logs with nsh, about their guilt over pebbles' situation and trying to make up for it even though pebbles clearly doesn't want their help, about dooming not only pebbles but moon as well (who as far as canon text goes, they don't seem to have ever personally talked to moon at all imo). and when nsh stops messaging them, or becomes increasingly worried about moon, they get visibly concerned about his wellbeing as well and does their best to console him. my favourite broadcasts are the ones about their gradual realization that maaaaybe they care about spearmaster a little more than they originally intended to. they raised spearmaster, going as far as to teach it a personally modified sign language rather than a quick and easy one-way mark of communication like most iterators would do. the chat logs after spearmaster encounters pebbles and how worried suns was for it, about how they regret ever sending them to pebbles in the first place, and that they just wished it'd return home to them safely. there's also the fact that they kept an eye on spearmaster with their overseer basically 24/7, to the point that even pebbles knew that suns was watching. overseers can act on their own, we know that from what we see in canon, but pebbles knew that suns was actively watching when spearmaster entered his can. which. god this wasn't supposed to be about pebbles but pebbles not killing spearmaster is something that's so important to me because he so easily could have killed them and there was no reason for him not to. but despite how hurt he was and how wronged he felt, he knew that it would have ruined suns so he held himself back and it's so AAUUGHHHHHH!!!!!!! i love them all so much. this is barely even about suns anymore sorry i didn't mean to type so much about spearmaster i just love their campaign so much. don't even get me started on the thought of ascending as spearmaster that shit will make me start killing people i actually was going to talk about headcanon stuff too (mostly stuff from before the global ascension/after riv) but. i started thinking too hard about suns and pebbles and spearmaster and wanderer and and and. Well sorry but i fear that if i think about rain world any more today i may end up on national television. so maybe another day

[beatrixstonehill2]

"I don't know why I was so worried when my doctor put me on fertility drugs. I feel so stupid! I hear these drugs make you dumber, but I think that's an urban legend, just another ridiculous thing the old me worried about! I was a stuck-up attorney who never dated, who woke up at 4 every morning, went jogging, and ate grapefruit for breakfast with black coffee. I was mean, and rolled my eyes whenever men flirted with me. I was literally the worst! But ever since my doctor gave me these new prescriptions, my life has gotten a bajillion times better.

First of all, my appetite and libido came back. I told him I barely ate, didn't even masturbate, I was too focused on work. He seemed to know exactly what my body needed..... I was obviously skeptical about taking this stuff but look at me now! This is my second pregnancy, last one was quadruplets, I think this might be at least sextuplets? Holy fuck, I'm gonna get SO big, isn't that hot as hell? I won't fit into anything! I hope my boss is OK with my huge baby-filled belly sticking out. I'll look so ripe and ready to fuck all the time! After all, what better signal can a woman give to men that she's free to fuck, but a belly full of kids?

Oh yeah, did I mention? I'm not an attorney anymore. My libido got way too distracting to worry about all that dumb work I was so concerned about for, like, no reason! So I'm a secretary now for this lawyer I used to butt heads with all the time. He used to love harassing me and flirting aggressively with me, even smacking my ass. I used to get so angry with him; now, when he spanks me or grabs my breasts I just giggle and get turned on. I love working for him, and when I do extra well he rewards me by letting me suck his cock, or if he's in the mood he'll fuck me when he's in a meeting in front of all my old colleagues. The looks on their faces watching me full of kids, with a massive pair of udders, getting railed by HIM is just priceless!

On the subject of my breasts, I hope everyone here on my OnlyFans likes them. I've gone up six cup sizes since starting these pills! Isn't that crazy? I bet they're small compared to how gigantic they'll get a few pregnancies from now. I'm soooo excited to see how big they're gonna get, or if they're even gonna stop growing. Men absolutely drool over them, and when they see these huge boobs paired with a belly brimming with more kids than I can count, they know it's a free invitation to fuck me. Whether we're on the subway, the bus, or I'm at the bank, depositing my boss's checks..... Guys will take me by the hips and pump me so full of cum it'll be drooling down my legs all day--as all women should be, far as I'm concerned. Full to the point of bursting with cum. I used to be so grossed out when I saw college girls in sundresses, super pregnant, their big breasts falling out, cum hanging from their asses and pussies, drooling down their legs, just gushing with it, cum of their faces or tits as they happily talk on their phones or with their equally pregnant friends. Now I see they were the lucky ones.... And I definitely wasted my time in college not being like them, but it's never too late to be a good girl and show men I know what my true purpose really is. ❤️"

[love-belle]

tujhe kitna chahne lage !!!

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ in which the entire world is convinced that they do not like each other but it's actually quite the opposite.

or

for when they make you go crazy in a good way. ˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚

social media au // lando norris x fem!reader

warnings - language

author's note - another desi!reader bc why the fuck not!!!!!! hope you like it, i love you so much <3

≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱

liked by lilymhe, carmenmmundt, landonorris and 758,427 others

yourusername lando norizz said i sparkled (derogatory)

tagged landonorris

6,829 comments

username NAH MARRY ME RN

username sirf ek chance plzzz (just one chance please)

username MAATE???? ( mother )

username OH MY GOD

username nah im in love what yhe fuxk

carmenmmundt you shine ❤️‍🔥

*liked by yourusername*

username THAT LEHNGA THOUGH

username traditional clothes hit different and that's just facts

username hayeee nazar na lage ( no evil eye )

username SHE ATE AND LEFT NO CRUMBS

username lando rn: ur a vampire

-> username forgive me in my head that was wayyyyy more funny

username marry me PLEASE

carlossainz55 i'm blinded

-> yourusername STOP MAKING FUN OF MY SEQUINS

-> landonorris only i'm allowed to make fun of her so back off sainz

-> carlossainz55 child i taught you everything you know now

-> landonorris OMG DAD STOP EMBARASSING ME

-> yourusername i'm blocking both of u

username she's so W

username traditions attire 🔛🔝

username i love all the drivers just randomly popping up on her post and leaving after pissing her off like that's MY source of entertainment and serotonin

username mother slays 🔥🔥🔥

mickschumacher your aunt (???) is setting me up with her daughter help

-> yourusername walk AWAY

username not the desi aunties trying to play matchmaker 💀💀💀

username i love her so much omg

username waiting for lando's comments before going on with my day like it's the morning news or something

landonorris you DO sparkle

-> landonorris disco light like looking witch

-> yourusername i'm honestly gonna go and tell lewis that ur being mean to me

-> landonorris WAIT NO

landonorris you sparkle (🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮)

-> yourusername here lewishamilton

-> lewishamilton lando no

-> landonorris I WASN'T EVEN DOING ANYTHING

landonorris imagine wearing silver on silver

-> yourusername you wear dumb on stupid everyday do u see me complaining

-> usernme nah she gagged him

landonorris boo 👎👎👎

-> yourusername ur so obsessed with me ☺️☺️☺️🥰🥰🥰❤️❤️❤️ go on 🔥🔥🔥🗣️🗣️🗣️🙏🙏🙏 log out 💯💯💯❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥😘😘😘

username they make me so ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

username i want what they have

username just make out already

≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱

liked by yourusername, carlossainz55, pierregasly and 789,514 others

landonorris when y/n managed to *not* burn the kitchen down while boiling water

tagged yourusername

7,826 comments

username lando babe this js proves that you're all sunshine and smiles when it comes to her

username they hate each other???? lol

username nah what in the enemies to lovera shit is this

username HIS SMILE OMG

username sunshine boy

username he's so adorable

username nah they're definitely together

charles_leclerc says the one who burned the hello kitten mittens

-> landonorris IT WAS AN ACCIDENT and YOUR hello kitty mittens

-> charles_leclerc LANDO WE AGREED TO KEEP THAT OFF THE INTERNET

-> username me randomly discovering that charles loves hello kitty in the comments of a post about y/n from lando is so wild if u think about it

username hiii im new to f1 can someone please explain who y/n is and why do lando and her hate each other :)

-> username ofc angel <3 she's the daughter of one of the BIGGEST sponsors for f1 and she's like very close with most of the drivers and their partners and attends as many races as she can!!!!

-> username lando and her have had a very *rocky* relationship since the beginning bc the first time they met, lando pushed her into the pool and then she pushed him into a fountain so !!

-> username they're all currently in india atm bc y/n's sister is getting married and it's like the event of the decade!!!!!!!

-> username NO BC THAT FOUNTAIN CLIP WOULD FOREVER BE ICONIC

danielricciardo this is not helpful in beating the crush allegations !

-> landonorris shut the fuck up !

username he's so ☺️☺️☺️☺️☺️☺️☺️☺️☺️

username not danny ric calling him out

username this comments section is WILD

username they're together idgaf they HAVE to be

username atp they're just playing with us

username no bc lando and y/n are SO iconic like from the moment they met to here like all of their public interactions are so entertaining

-> username one of them is always ready to throw hands with the other one and most of the time it's y/n

-> username nah bc i know my girl is DONE with his shit

yourusername you forgot how to crack an egg.

-> landonorris YOU CRACKED AN EGG ON MY FOREHEAD

-> yourusername HOW IS THAT RELEVANT RIGHT NOW

yourusername *when y/n is actually the love of my life

-> landonorris hahahahahahaha!!!!!!! babe what!!!!!!!!!

-> danielricciardo both of you are so dumb 😭😭😭

-> maxverstappen1 oh my god

-> charles_leclerc what just happened

-> username "babe" SAY WHAT

username im gonna go and walk my fish

-> username i suddenly need to iron air

username they're idiots (affectionate)

≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱

liked by lewishamilton, carmenmmundt, landonorris and 897,527 others

yourusername tujhe kitna chahne lage ( just how much i love you )

tagged landonorris

comments are disabled for this post

≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱

liked by yourusername, charles_leclerc, danielricciardo and 897,426 others

landonorris she's mean but she buys me chocolate so ❤️

tagged yourusername

9,457 comments

username AHHHSHHSHSHD

username i am not okay

username IM SO

username HER.

username im heartbroken 💔💔💔💔💔💔 both of my parasocial relationships gone just like that

username nah bc she can fuck me up and i would say thank u and sorry for wasting your time

maxverstappen1 she's mean to all of us but she doesn't get us shit

-> yourusername aren't you like a millionaire

-> maxverstappen1 SO ARE YOU

-> yourusername lol i get p and kelly chocolates

-> kellypiquet 🥰

-> maxverstappen1 you're never getting to babysit p ever again

-> yourusername WAIT NO I'M SO SORRY

username they both said fuck soft launch

username ENEMIES TO LOVERS

username apna time aayega ( our time will come )

danielricciardo idk she makes me chai

-> landonorris didn't she almost hit you with a rolling pin because you said "chai tea"

-> yourusername it was honestly so deserved

-> danielricciardo i am TRAUMATIZED

username LOOK!! AT!! THEM!!

username we've come so far oh my god

username y/n posting a couple dumb pictures of lando and a cute one of them together and then disabling the comments while lando posts these MASTERPIECES is so on brand of them

-> username cool gf 🤝 obsessed bf

yourusername i am NOT mean

-> landonorris sure

-> yourusername im not!!!!!!!!!!

-> landonorris sure!!!!!!!!!

yourusername love u ig

-> landonorris guess again

-> yourusername I LOVE YOU SOOO MUCH

-> landonorris k

-> yourusername blocked

yourusername hey ur kinda pretty

-> landonorris hey you're very pretty

username THESE BITCHES

username i feel like i've entered an alternate dimension

username ngl im gonna miss y/n and lando shit talking each other

[risingmoonyue]

Clone Wars AU where instead of chips, the clones are actually raised to be undercover as loyal soldiers knowing they'd betray the jedi ("traitors") on the order, and are all ready to complete their mission—

But uh. The jedi are really nice?? And kinda dumb??? And they reaaaally don't know how they survived this long when they are just so dumb and trusting and oh no they're attached.

There are many unfortunate realizations. The clones form a support group to rant about their stupid jetii because "—guys you don't understand he loses his lightsaber every two seconds and then smiles at me when I give it back and has decided since I have it so much I should know how to use it and this week he ordered chocolate for everyone what do I do—"

Bly be sitting in the corner, rocking because "Oh no she's hot"

Wolffe is sitting there holding in manly tears because Plo is a buir but he's a traitor but Plo is such a buir can he be my buir

Rex is like "listen I know Skywalker is supposed to be the one non-traitor of the bunch but like. He's crazy???? And the Commander is also crazy???? How am I supposed to keep up with them???? How much worse would they be without Kenobi????????? And I think Skywalker might actually murder us all if anyone touches the commander or Kenobi???????????"

And meanwhile Fox is all "I keep pulling this one weird jedi out of the dumpster and I can't get rid of him. How do I get rid of him, he's growing on me like mold and I hate it."

Meanwhile I cant decide if the Jedi know that somethings up with the clones and are keeping them close or if they just are genuinely like "man those guys are so great ❤️❤️❤️ I'd trust my life with them ❤️❤️❤️ if they don't tell me smth they def have a good reason ❤️❤️❤️"

[weebsinstash]

I know you mentioned that you aren't a big fan of pregnancy AU stuff in Hazbin, but hear me out...

Imagine Yandere Valentino getting his Darling pregnant to have a living bargaining chip to make sure she doesn't even try to leave him

New idea. What if the only people who can procreate in Hell are red string soulmates, or, it's like akin to ABO in the sense that not everyone or every combo of people could create a baby.

I was thinking about a yandere Valentino who has Reader as his red string soulmate whatever and you run away after seeing how truly abusive he is to other people, worrying for your own safety, and you're missing for like a straight year before Valentino finds out where you are, and... he's all but KICKING DOWN the door of your apartment, and he's looking at you like a hungry predator ready to pounce on you, cornering you, and

a baby starts crying from the other room and you're SPRINTING to the noise and Valentino finds you defensively holding a little bundle to your chest, growling snarling baring fangs holding a knife whatever at him, and Valentino thinks you adopted some other man's kid, some little imp bastard or something, and he's furious, he's raising his voice, he's getting closer, he's-

making perfect eye contact with a little tiny baby replica of himself as it turns to look at him with its big red eyes and chubby cheeks and fat arms and. It takes Val a few seconds to process it. The baby looks right at him and is whimpering and gurgling, upset, but doesn't cry. The baby boy sneezes and his antenna flip back and forth. He's got lil hearts in his fur and his teeny antenna are already so fluffy.

'Oh but aren't baby moths technically caterpillars--' shut the fuck up, you're demons and also that would be ugly as fuck. You want to give birth to a 20 armed baby or something. No. We save the truly inhuman babies for the human x monster/alien/whatever prompts. Your baby comes out a mini mothperson and it's fluffy and chubby and fucking adorable and also shut up

Val is just, SMITTEN, the narcissism is turned up to 100, he's rapid cycling emotions, "*GASPING* OUR BABY IS SO FUCKING CUTE, WHAT THE FUCK, I WANT TO HOLD HIM" "So I knocked you up good huh 😏" "*already on the phone in a group call with the other Vees and taking 200 pictures* you should see this thing, he looks just like me, can you even believe that, I can already tell he's gonna be so handsome and successful cuz he's MY son" "aw, amorcito did you think you needed to run away to protect our baby because I have so many enemies? You're such a good mama ❤️❤️❤️"

You spend like MONTHS lovingly protecting and sheltering your child until he's a healthy giggling little chubroll and Val has him for like two days and suddenly your baby has his ears pierced with diamonds in them and Valentino is walking around in his high heels and slutty bodysuits with your son in a papoose cuddled into his chest fur. You're holding your sleeping son while Val is beside you and someone sneezes across the room and the baby stirs and here's Valentino, "SHUT THE FUCK UP, MY SON IS SLEEPING", like, NOT ANYMORE YOU DUMB JACKASS???

'Oh gee why is Valentino suddenly funding and producing more erotic films involving moms and breeding and pregnant people and lactation-' you fucking know why and honestly I think it'd be SO FUNNY if he's like, "oh yeah, don't worry, I want you on birth control too mami. I missed fucking you and I kinda wanna do a lot of that without worrying about another little niño or two. At least not for a while :)"

Valentino on the red carpet being his cunty fashionable self while his baby is in a sling and they're both wearing matching outfits. Your baby boy has a tiny iced-up watch that's worth more than the entire building you were living in before his father found you. Your "husband" is posing half-naked with your baby on the cover of Demon Playboy which he owns, "HELL'S HOTTEST NEW DILF" like I COULD NOT WITH THIS MAN

And obviously he's got new kinks now that you're a mom and he absolutely fucks the hell out of you to the point you would get pregnant again without the birth control 😳 valentino on some real "is this the milk you've been feeding my baby with, let me try some" type stuff where he's milking you dry during his bang sesh and your son has to have formula that night because your tank is EMPTY 💀 YOU'RE A RAISIN LIKE THAT SCENE FROM SCOOBY DOO ZOMBIE ISLAND--

God. I've read horror stories about women getting pregnant again even WHILE being on multiple types of birth control so, then you get knocked up again Because Of Course You Would, You're Taking More Creampies Than A Professional Rodeo Clown, and what does Valentino say? "Fuck it, I wanna keep it! I can't just MURK my baby after it beat the odds, that's so ME!" And now you're having twin girls 💀💀💀 who knows, maybe having some daughters would teach Valentino to actually respect women--

I feel like you would wake up one morning and be genuinely hysterical because your baby is missing and you can't get in contact with Valentino and you're freaking out at the absolute highest level and it turned out to be some dumb shit like Val just took your son along with him for THE ENTIRE DAY and didn't think of mentioning it to you because "but you were needing a break and we were bonding, mami. We were having our guy time. I was leaving for work and he looked at me and he SMILED AT ME. What the fuck was i supposed to do, I couldn't just LEAVE HIM, he wanted his papi"

Of course, all these ideas hinge on the concept of Valentino actually caring for his baby. He could still genuinely use it as a tool against you. You're out running errands and suddenly you're getting a call. It's Valentino. He wants you to come home; you left the baby with Kitty so you could go out for a little while for some 'you time' since you've been trapped at home hiding ever since you ran from him before learning you were pregnant. It's not even about you leaving the baby with a nanny; it's about you not being home when Valentino came to visit you and him being uncomfortable not knowing exactly where you are and exactly what you're doing

Well, you got a little smart with him. You've just spent the last about 11 months living through hell with your pregnancy and hiding; you deserve to get some fresh air and walk out on the town and--- in the middle of you lecturing him you can just hear your baby making baby noises through the phone and Valentino just adopts this... tone in his voice, "amorcito, I came to spend time with you and our little frijolito and you're not heeee~ere. You know I can have trouble concentrating when I've had a few drinks and, earlier i dropped my phone on accident and i thought 'oh, it's good i wasn't holding something important"

You're home within 20 minutes and Valentino is cuddling into you while he puts some garbage on TV and pretends not to notice how you're trembling as you hold your son and send the occasional wary glance his father's way...

[jayke0]

Nicotine Lust

Summary: Your attempts to keep your smoking kink under wraps become futile once you're reassured that your boyfriends’ lungs aren't at stake.

A/N: I couldn't stop thinking about @my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction 's smoking Steven, so i wanted to do smth from Jake's perspective ❤️.

Also if you know which tiktok lady Jake’s talking about then bonus points to you!

Rating: nsfw, smut

Warnings/Content: smoking, afab reader!, g/n nicknames, I've never smoked so forgive me if literally all of it is wrong, blowjob, face fucking, ‘fucktoy’ nickname, ‘slut’ nickname, Dom!Jake, Sub!Reader, p in v, unmentioned protection, riding, doggy style, creampie, lmk if there's anything else I should add :).

Word count: 4,020 (yeah… I'm pretty sure this is my longest fic yet.😅)

Credit: @automnepoet for proofreading ily. And Fen ofc ofc.

…………………………………......................………….

You hate to admit it, but when Jake smokes, it's like an automatic switch is clicked in your brain; like you're literally being turned on.

It's wrong, so so wrong. You don't want to be getting turned on by something that is ultimately ruining your boyfriend's lungs, all three of your boyfriends’ lungs.

It's only when you mention it to him one day that he settles your worries.

“The suit heals ‘em.”

“What?? For real?”

“ ‘Course! That's the whole point of it.”

You raise a brow. “It's not for you to heal your black lung.”

“Well no, but it's for healin’, ain't it?” He pulls out his packet of tobacco and places it on the windowsill, along with his papers. His fingers work meticulously as he lays out the paper and lines up the tobacco, sprinkling it onto the paper like he's decorating fucking cupcakes with chocolate sprinkles.

“I thought ya liked it anyway.”

You have to drag your eyes away from the man's hands as he rolls the cylinder between his fingers. “What? No... that's weird.”

Your boyfriend cocks an eyebrow at you, a small smirk tugging at his lips. “Really? So that look that ya give me, or the way ya watch my hands ain't got nothin’ to do with ya gettin’ all hot and bothered?” He brings it to his lips, running his tongue along the edge of the paper in a way that makes your cheeks heat up and your arms fold over your chest defensively.

Jake is easily the best at reading you and your body, especially when it comes to your not-so-subtle arousal.

Your eyes move back to his hand, watching him push the filter into the end with his middle finger before rolling the other end shut.

“No, I just find it interesting. It's good for me to know how to roll a cig… I guess.” Your words trail off as you realize how dumb that sounds; there's no way in hell that Jake lockley is going to believe that lie.

“For who? Ya side piece?” He jokes, the smirk turning into a full-grown grin while he brings the now formed cigarette to his lips. It's only when he flips open his lighter and the flame lights up the end that you come to the conclusion there's no point in hiding it… not now that you know they're safe.

“Alright!... I like it, is that what you wanted?”

“Show me.” His lips are pressed together tightly to keep the cigarette in place, but he's learnt how to talk out of the gap in his lips.

“Excuse me?”

“Show me how much ya like it.” The man's voice is deeper now as he pulls the cigarette from his lips and exhales a cloud of smoke, considerately not blowing it in your direction; and fuck if it doesn't make you squirm.

You want to sink to your knees right there, rip his black jeans from his thick thighs and suck him dry, but your stubbornness stops you. “I'm not some kinda fuck toy, Jake!”

“Ya weren't sayin’ that last night, were ya?” The cigarette meets his lips again and his chest expands as he takes in a long drag, not being as considerate with where he blows it this time.

You irritatedly waft the smoke away from your face, but his gaze, oh lord the way his eyes glare at you, a dark stare that pushes you to your knees anyway as if he has the fucking force. Resting your hands on his knees, you part them slowly, keeping your eyes transfixed on his as you slide your hands up his bulky thighs and over his crotch, all while he takes another drag.

“Good fucktoy.” He says with a playful tone as he pets your head condescendingly, the name and gesture ultimately turning you on more while you toy with his belt buckle to pry his jeans open. “Eager, ain't we? I love it when you're this eager, mi vida.”

The smell of the smoke is starting to sting your nostrils, but all worries of second-hand smoke fade when you pull his boxers down his thighs and reveal his half hard cock. “I'm not the only eager one," you raise a brow at him, taking his hardening length in your hand to hear a soft groan from him.

“Oh c'mon, what guy doesn't love gettin’ his dick sucked? Especially from a slut as pretty as you, cariño.” His thumb runs over your cheek, and then your bottom lip. “Now, open up for me, okay?”

His hand replaces yours as you obediently open your mouth and lean forward, wanting to feel him grow hard in the heat of your mouth. His length is heavy on your tongue, the familiar tang of his skin and pre-cum making you hum softly to send vibrations through his cock, resulting in a pleasured grunt from the man.

“Mmm that's good… good angel…”

The calmness in his voice and the way his shoulders drop indicate that even his trusty old cigarettes can't relax him like you can. You always know exactly what makes him tick, what buttons to press to get him coming down your throat in minutes, but despite that, he continues to take drags from his damn deathstick.

Your eyes are fixated on his lips as he brings it to his mouth again, holding it loosely between his two fingers before inhaling the nicotine. He meets your gaze, a shallow thrust from his impatient hips making you pull back with an annoyed squeal; you're not willing to admit how turned on you also get when they're impatient with you, though you're like 90% sure that Jake has caught on anyway, as usual. A string of drool falls from your lips and lands on his head, spreading down the thick, tanned length before your lips follow.

“Thaaat’s it, just like that, darlin’.” He groans, feeling your lips stretch and the warmth of your mouth envelop him. His fingers caress your hair before his large hand eventually comes to rest on the back of your head; an exciting threat that he could push you down on his girth at any point.

Of course, though, he doesn't. He's more patient and collected than the other two, even when you manage to relax your throat and sink all the way down on him.

“Oooh cariño, that's new. Ya been practicin’?” Jake's back arches off of the window, his cigarette back between his lips so his hand can join the other on the back of your head. You pull off with a pant, nodding proudly, “Steven loved letting me practice on him, did you know he's into throat training?”

Your words warrant a growl from your boyfriend as he tightens his grip on your scalp. “C’mooon, stop teasin’ me,” his lip is cocked up in a scowl as he take another drag from his cig and blows it out.

You don't spend any more time fucking around, your own thighs pressing together just from the situation and sight in front of you. You lower your head on him, but don't take him fully, wrapping your hand around what you can't fit in your mouth so you can start bobbing your head. Your tongue glides over his slit each time you almost pull off, with just your lips wrapped around the blunt tip before you dive back down.

“Fuuuck, that's so good. Shit you're so good at that, mi vida.” His praises go straight to your core, making you speed up your actions.

The man tilts his head back and takes the cig out of his mouth, the end now getting dangerously close to his fingers, but he couldn't care less, all he cares about is the wet heat of your mouth already pushing him closer and closer to his orgasm. He takes one last drag and puts out the butt as it reaches his fingers, taking in a sharp inhale when you deepthroat him again just as it burns his finger tips. “Such a good fucktoy, goddamn angel…”

His groans get louder, your head now bobbing up and down on him rhythmically as you twist your fist around his throbbing length in just the right way.

Hand joining the other, he pushes you down once, then twice. “Just a little more darlin’, ya can do it, I know ya can—,” his pants are heavy, low moans cut off by gasps. “Gonna come down that pretty throat, just a little further, sweetheart.” You feel his hips lift off the window sill and towards your face, the gesture making you choke a bit before you take him fully again, fingernails digging into his plump thighs enough to leave marks as your face scrunches up.

It's only a few more seconds and he's coming down your throat, just as he said he would. You can barely taste the saltiness as he moans loudly, adam's apple bobbing in his throat with his back arched enough to feel his tummy on your forehead. You pull off after a few moments with gasps, your chest rising and falling quickly as you take in the air you'd briefly missed out on.

“Ay cariño… ‘m sorry, are ya ok?” Jake's gaze is still lidded and dopey, though a lot softer now, and you feel his thumb run over your cheek.

“Yes,” you say hoarsely, giggling afterwards at the sound of your voice while you wipe the spit from your chin. “It was hot. I liked it, honey, don't worry.”

He sighs, a smile replacing the worried frown his had on his face just seconds before. “Ah, good, angel,” he leans down and kisses you, not caring about the taste of himself on your lips. “You owe me an orgasm though.” You mumble on his lips, feeling the low chuckle rumble in his chest as he joins you on the floor without even pulling away from your plump lips.

”I can do that, cariño.”

+.｡ﾟ:;｡+ﾟ+｡::ﾟ｡:.ﾟ｡+｡+.｡ﾟ:;｡+ﾟ+｡::ﾟ｡:.ﾟ｡

Jake hasn't been out since that morning, and now it's getting to 3 days, and you're worried.

Did your odd little kink freak him out? Maybe the thought that his lover gets off on him damaging his lungs made him uncomfortable.— No, that's not the sexy part, because that WOULD be weird. It's watching him carefully, masterfully, assemble the tobacco. Watching the way he rolls it between his thick digits and runs his tongue over the edge before lighting it. You'd noticed how his eyes close in satisfaction with that first drag, and how his eyelids lower to a more relaxed manner, giving him that deadly lidded gaze that is sure to be the death of you.

The presence creeping up behind you breaks your train of thought, and you sigh contentedly as you feel large, warm hands run over your shoulders tenderly. You drag your eyes away from the tv screen to tilt your head back and look at one of your boyfriends, whichever one it is.

Jake always insisted on growing his facial hair out, but Marc and Steven are so strongly against it that you'd think they have some kind of personal vendetta against it. That being said, it's hard to tell them apart sometimes, especially when you're looking at them upside down.

“Hello, handsome.”

“Hello, angel.”

Blood instantly rushes to your face, and you know Jake notices it, given the way his lips quirk into a grin.

“Took you long enough…” You mumble softly, lifting your head to avoid his burning gaze.

“Ay, I know I know. I ain't really got an excuse.” He gives your shoulder one last pat before moving around to the couch and placing himself down next to you, arm promptly resting on the couch behind your head. “Did ya miss me, though?” His fingers toy with your ear, a gesture that he'd quickly and delightedly learnt annoys you.

Your silence is met by a dark chuckle from the man. “Did ya miss these?” The sound of cardboard rustling grabs your attention, your head slowly turning towards him before your eyes focus on the box of cigarettes in front of you.

“I thought you didn't like ‘pre-rolled bullshit'.” You quote his words with a scoff to hide the excitement already bubbling up inside you.

“I don't, but they come in handy, don't they? ‘Specially if I'm tryna rile ya up again.”

His left leg is crossed over the other in a casual sitting position, body angled towards you invitingly with his arms spread wide enough to make his t-shirt stretch across his toned chest.

“So… you didn't find it weird then?” Voice tentative, you shuffle over to him, having missed his tight bear hugs and calming tone of voice… even if his cockiness does get on your nerves sometimes.

A small frown replaces the grin that almost constantly adorned his face. “No, mi vida, ‘course not.” His hand reaches towards your face, calloused thumb running under your eyes softly. “I'm just as into it as you are, hell, I thought that was obvious.” His low chuckle makes your chest warm and a smile break the pouty look you had plastered across your face, especially when he leans in to kiss your forehead.

“Thank fucking god.”

A deep laugh from your boyfriend only makes your face and body grow warmer, the smile widening before you lean into his lips to place a kiss on them.

“Ya could've spoken to the other two.” He says, hands resting on your waist to pull you closer for a cuddle.

“Didn't wanna worry them.” It's almost remarkable how quickly you melt into their arms, quicker than you have with any other person… ever, really.

Jake's fingers trace your face gently, eyes roaming all over your features and drinking them in as if he hasn't seen you in years. “Ay cariño, you're too kind for ya own good.” He chuckles softly, pressing another, slightly longer kiss on your lips.

That slightly longer turns into much longer, which then turns into you panting into eachothers's mouth, craving one another as if it's integral to your survival.

“Please do it again, honey, wanna see you do it again.”

The friction from your bodies grinding relentlessly together has him dazed, his brain taking a few seconds to compute.

“Oh, angel, so impatient,” he teases as he grabs the box of cigs from the table and pulls one out. He runs it under his nose and takes a big whiff, letting out a loud, pleasured groan afterwards to make you giggle at his silliness, which you do.

You bite your lip, and he puts the stick between his rosy lips, looking up at you hungrily. “This what ya wanted, darlin’? ‘S this what you've been waitin’ for?” His tone is almost condescending, but his words roll off of his tongue in such a smooth way that you're quick to forgive him.

Your hips automatically grind down on him as you nod, biting your lip hard, before you feel his hands land on your waist again, traveling underneath your shirt and over your warm skin until you feel his fingers just brush over your left nipple. The hem of your shirt moves past your face before you can even think about it, your eyes still glued to his pretty mouth as you roll your hips on him to pull those soft grunts from his throat.

“Look at ya, I've barely touched ya and you're all worked up.” He grins as he brings his hand down to the waistband of your sweats to slide them lovingly down your thighs. It's a little mortifying how you don't even question him, how you don't even need anymore working up thanks to a heated make-out session and the sight of the cig hanging from his lips loosely. You lift your ass to help him pull them down, your underwear following suit.

That's when you realize he hasn't even taken his grey t-shirt off, and you're stark naked in his lap.

“This has got to have a name...” You rest your hands on his chest, the feeling of your bare cunt grinding against his jeans making you tilt your head back.

“Hmm?” He asks, undoing his belt buckle and fly.

“Your thing for having me completely naked while you can't even be bothered to take your shirt off.”

He laughs at that. “Maybe, ya should look it up later. See if it's on that woman's TikTok page.” He pulls his twitching cock out of the confines of his boxers, running his thumb over the ruddy tip. The gesture makes you take in a soft inhale, inching your hips closer to him so you can let his cock slide between your folds and through your arousal.

You both groan at the movement, and you watch Jake shuffle in his pocket for his lighter moments later, bringing the small flame to the end of the cig to light it. His chest expands, and then deflates as he blows the smoke away.

“You're so gorgeous, mi vida.” He says softly, two fingers holding the cigarette tightly as he runs them across your flesh to make goosebumps prickle across your arms and your cheeks heat up.

“And you're so handsome, Jakey.” You moan softly as he brings his mouth close to your chest and places kisses all over the expanse of skin, guiding your hand down between your bodies to help him slide inside you.

He pulls away and places the stick between his lips again to take in another drag and admire the picture in front of him. “Such a pretty angel,” he reiterates, feeling your warmth envelop his aching length as you sink down on him.

Your thighs shudder just a little, a pant escaping your lips as your hole stretches around him with ease, used to their girth by now.

“Love the dumb little look on ya face when ya take it, cariño. Ya like havin’ me stretch ya open like this?” Jake's words travel straight to your core, fueling the fire in your tummy as you lift your hips just to sink back down on him.

“Yes, baby, I love the way you stretch me open.”

The moan that comes from his lips is wonderful, and it's followed by another billow of smoke, the cig back in the corner of his mouth so he can guide your hips. You can see him already gritting his teeth around it, taking in sharp inhales as you start a deep rhythm on him.

“Oh baby…” You moan. You desperately want to close your eyes to enjoy the feeling, but the sight of him fucking you with that deathstick between his teeth is too glorious, penance for the time you spent worrying. “Shit, you look so hot, Jake. So fucking sexy…” You groan as he grasps your ass, gripping the flesh and dragging you down on his cock with growls.

“Ya look even better takin’ it, darlin’, ya take it so well; my pretty slut.”

You grip his shoulders, cursing him for being able to push your buttons and make you whine at the most humiliating of names. Your body always tells him different, though, especially as you start bouncing faster on his cock, feeling it hit that fucking sweet spot each time you come down on him.

Jake is panting too now, and he has to hold the cig between his fingers again to stop it from dropping on you. “Ya feel so good squeezin’ me like that, cariño… Fuck this cunt is magical–.” He still has a grip on your hip, and uses it as leverage so that he can start bucking his hips into your wet heat.

Needless to say, you aren't going to last much longer.

“J-ake! Honey… Fuck I'm so close–agh!-.” Your walls clench around him while your hand slips between your legs to circle your clit, eyes opening briefly to get a glimpse at the sight you'd been waiting to see for what felt like weeks.

That's it, that's all you needed as you sink down on him and grind your cunt against your hand, panting and moaning with your head thrown back. Waves of pleasure rush over you and soak through your bones entirely, your toes clenching like your walls.

You release the grip you had on his shoulders, not that he seemed to mind, that is, before leaning forward to kiss him. You don't care about the smokey taste on his tongue because all you want is him, his taste.

“Mmnnn… We ain't done yet, darlin’,” Jake pulls from the kiss and gestures to the half burnt cigarette as he places it back between his lips.

He gropes your waist and pulls you off of his cock with a soft yelp from you, instead pressing you down into the couch, face turned outwards so he can lean down and look at your face. This position always makes you whine, always makes your legs shake as you try to keep yourself up, and Jake never goes easy on you. He likes seeing the way your ass and thighs bounce as he brings you back on him, and loves hearing the filthy noises that are produced in the process.

The feeling of him splitting you open again has you biting on the cushion, your thoughts from before being true as he ruthlessly fucks into you, loud growls and grunts rumbling in his chest and ringing in your ears.

It's hard to ignore how good it makes you feel when he uses you like this. Sure you love the soft and tender moments you get with the three of them, but once you'd felt what they can really do to you, there was no going back.

You're surprised you haven't ripped the cushion cover from how hard you're gripping it, dumb, cock drunk whines and whimpers falling from your lips as the man fucks you closer and closer to another orgasm.

He leans over you, cigarette barely staying between his lips as he watches your eyes screw shut and random gibberish fall from your mouth.

“Ay, my pretty little fucktoy. Ya love it when I'm rough with ya, don't ya?” He pants and strokes his hand down your chest, running all the way down your tummy till he reaches your swollen clit. “Love it when I… when I use ya.”

His strong and composed facade is faltering, just as it usually does when he's getting close, sitting up again to throw his head back and take puffs of his almost completely gone cigarette.

You can see colours dancing behind your eyelids with how tightly they're screwed shut, the way his fingers are rubbing your clit being almost unbearable as you let out cries and pleas to come again.

“Yeah cariño, that's it, cum all over my cock, lemme feel ya twitch.”

An even stronger wave than before crashes over you and wracks your whole body. Your moans get stuck in your throat as you milk Jake of all he has, his own orgasm having hit him after you'd shrieked his name.

Thankfully, he's quick to remove his fingers from your throbbing clit, knowing it gets a little too sensitive after two mind-blowing orgasms.

”AH FUCK-”

Your post-nut bliss is interrupted by a pained yelp from the man, making you crane your neck to look back at him frantically pulling the cigarette butt from his lips and putting it out in the ashtray.

You laugh, albeit sleepily, and watch his dopey gaze drift to yours as he chuckles lowly. “Fuckin’ cigarettes… maybe next time I should get some of those fake ones.” He jokes as he pulls out of you and touches his sore lips.

You giggle and sit up wobbly, turning to wrap your arms around his neck. “I did think when we started that it was a little dangerous.”

“Ay, ya live and ya learn.”

You both laugh and Jake presses his face into your neck, placing soft kisses as he falls back against the couch with a thump, taking you with him.

...........................................................................

Tags 🖤: @boredzillenial @cowboymarcs @chichimisaki @faretheeoscar @fanofstuffidk @minigirl87 @marisferasiop @red-hydra @summonthesoups @steven-grants-world @queerponcho @ominoose @mynamesstevenwithav @rinverse

[hollowdeath]

I LOVEEEEE YOUR HARRY FICSSSS 😭😭🙏🙏 I literally cannot get enough, your harry fics are amazing ❤️

I was wondering if you'd be willing to do an enemies to lovers type thing with dark!harry, similar to the one you did with "the dark side" fic, but maybe they're rivals due to quittich, yet they both just have tension they don't know gow to handle, so one day they just kind of get so worked up in an argument they start making out. (P.S. I loved the thing you did where harry came from y/n saying he hated him 😫😫 also the part where harry gets turned on from y/n scolding him. If possible, could you incorporate that in there? Thank you smm ❤️❤️) I hope it's not too much trouble ❤️❤️❤️

thank you so much for requesting this, i hope you enjoy!!!

pairing: slytherin!harry james potter x gryffindor!fem!reader (18+)

summary: you and harry have been quidditch rivals ever since you've become captain of the gryffindor team. the tension between you two rises until one of you needs bandaged up by the other, leading to you making a discovery about the school's bad boy that leaves you baffled and insanely curious.

cw: smut!!! angst, mentions of blood, degradation kink, sub!harry x dom!reader, dry humping

word count: 7k

it was your final year at hogwarts and, more importantly to you, it was your last year as the gryffindor quidditch captain. you took major pride in your status as captain, and dedicated a majority of your time outside of class to leading practice, coming up with new plays, and making sure that annoyingly good slytherin captain kept his distance from you and your team.

harry potter was well known at hogwarts years before he even came through. the boy who lived, or whatever. you had never paid him much mind to begin with because you knew he reveled in his own notoriety.

see, potter wasn't just the slytherin quidditch captain. he was the most vile, egotistical, disrespectful wizard you'd ever had the misfortune of interacting with. on top of thinking he was some kind of miracle that blessed everyone's presence wherever he went, he specifically treated you worse than the mud on his shoes. not just because of your status as gryffindor captain, but because you were the only student who wasn't afraid to stand your ground with him. had it not been for quidditch practice 4 times a week and games every friday, you would've done everything you could to keep your distance. however, things didn't work out that way, and you ended up forming a sort of rivalry with the boy that the student body found all too exciting.

it started last year when potter and his friends made a dumb poster and hung it up in every boys bathroom: a drawing of someone falling off their broom with your face printed out and glued to it, along with harry's whose drawing had just knocked you off victoriously. they had put "[y/l/n] vs potter: this friday at 6" at the top like it was some kind of promotional advert. and, as much as you hated it, it actually somewhat worked.

from that game on, the other kids began picking sides every week to see who would win. the crowd turnout became the largest it had been in your entire time at hogwarts. some came in support of potter or were otherwise afraid of what would happen if they didn't, while a good amount of students started to become your biggest supporters the more you showed your skills in the game.

see, you didn't just become captain by having a recognizable last name unlike some other people; you had been playing quidditch since you could fly from a young age, and made the team every single year before finally being nominated for the position by your own teammates. you made a promise to them that day that slytherin would no longer be known as the winning house, and that they finally had some competition to sweat over.

and sweat they did. your first game as captain was an easy win, and so were the next 3. it wasn't until the slytherin players learned they actually had to try in order to win now that they began winning every other game as well. that's where harry stepped in.

harry was someone you always tried to avoid during your years at hogwarts. you didn't socialize with many slytherins to begin with as you found some of them to be rather grating and obnoxious, but especially not with slytherins like potter. it was students like him that gave the entire house a bad name. everyone thought he was so charming besides his cocky attitude, but you saw through his act right away. you think that's partially why he singled you out of anyone as his target.

once he set his sights on you, it was impossible to avoid him. it's like he had some sort of tracker on you the way he always managed to pop up in the most random of places simply to upset you. not that you'd be surprised, as along with harry's sickening bravado came his disregard for moral ethics. if there was a way to cheat, lie, or steal your way into getting what you wanted, potter was already on it. he knew no bounds when it came to his little schemes either. from stealing your game plays and sharing them with his teammates to spreading rumors about your players to playing clearly illegal moves during the game only for nobody to notice but you, potter seemed to revel in the rivalry everyone pushed onto you.

you hated giving him the satisfaction of breaking your cold demeanor, but sometimes his antics pushed you too far. he knows how protective you've become over your teammates, so he'll target them when he can't get to you, especially the younger ones. this is where you've blown your cover quite a few times as you can't stand seeing your first years cower in fear anytime they see potter. yelling, spitting, nearly getting physical with him on several occasions when he ignores your threats to leave the kids alone or else. it's as if he rather enjoys getting such a rise out of you, and not just to fuel the public rivalry.

today was your last day of practice before the last, biggest game of the semester. your team knew to meet at the field at 5 pm ready to go as you had plenty of plays you wanted to perfect before playing against the slytherins tomorrow night. practice had only just started with a few flyers in the air before you heard a commotion of voices coming from behind you.

you turned and saw harry leading his team onto the field, laughing obnoxiously and pointing at your teammates in mockery. you swear you felt steam coming from your ears when you told your team to wait and let you handle this.

you stormed up to potter with an accusatory pointed finger. "you. get the hell off my field now before i call mcgonagall out here, potter." you spit at him before pushing his chest. harry takes the push and just laughs, shaking his head at you.

"[y/l/n], i'm not sure how many professors have to tell you that this field isn't yours before you let us use it for practice as well," he said with a smirk, changing his grip on his broomstick and letting it rest on his shoulder. you narrow your eyes at him and cross your arms over your chest. "you know damn well we practice here every week at this time, and yet you're never able to find a time outside of that to spend with your own team. curious, isn't it?" you ask him sarcastically, your tone biting.

harry's smirk drops slightly. "are you suggesting that i'm trying to sabotage your chance at winning the season tomorrow? because i'd never do such a thing, [y/l/n], and it hurts that you think of me in that way." he responds just as sarcastically. a few of his players snicker and laugh just behind him, earning a nasty glare from you that has them shut up quickly.

you look back at harry who's waiting for a clever comeback from you, nearly on the edge of his seat to see what you have to say this time. you hate how much he thrives off getting you upset.

"fine. practice, then. you'll need it." you tell harry with a cold tone, giving him a disgusted look up and down. you take a step forward and point your finger back into harry's chest, your faces less than a foot away from each other. "but if you mess with any of my players, even as a joke, i will gut you like a fucking fish." you tell him in a hushed tone. you think you see his pupils dilate slightly, but you were probably mistaken. "got it?"

harry's smirk only grows as he starts backing away slowly. "got it, princess." he laughs, turning to his little group of followers for approval before they run off to the other goal post opposite from your team. the nickname is new, and for some reason it made your stomach drop and heart race like crazy. that potter kid just knew exactly how to get under your skin.

you tried to focus on your own team's plays for the rest of practice, but you could clearly hear harry and his friends saying your name and laughing too often for your comfort. anytime you happened to make eye contact with harry, you made sure to scowl at him and promptly turn your attention away. just his sheer presence made your blood boil and skin crawl.

for the most part there were no issues in the sky, the slytherins mostly kept to their side besides the few times harry's friends were messing around and ended up coming close to a few of your teammates. you scolded them each time, but they would only laugh at you and fly off to tell harry about your outbursts. other than that, you ended up getting a lot accomplished in order to be prepared for the game the next day.

however, towards the end of practice, your teammates were having some difficulty with a new technique you taught them, so you took the time to demonstrate it with another player in the sky. you were just about to start instructing when your teammates started calling out to you frantically. you didn't have enough time to process what they were warning you about before you felt someone fly into you from behind, nearly causing you to fall off your broomstick.

you could feel yourself falling to the ground, but your grip on your broomstick remained tight enough to quickly get it under you just in time to somewhat break your landing. you tumbled to the ground with a pained groan, and heard someone else fall just to your left. you could feel the wind get knocked out of you in the air, so it took a moment for you to properly breathe as you tried to sit up.

your teammates got to you in seconds, asking if you were okay and trying to help you up. that's when the pain set in. standing up-right you could feel your rib cage aching and your shoulder throbbing. "i'm fine, i'm fine," you told everyone, brushing off the grass stains on your clothes. you turned to see who had fallen next to you, and who else would be lying there but harry potter as his slytherin teammates rushed to his aid as well.

they're helping him stand up and you can feel the rage building inside you. you break away from your teammates' grasps and march up to harry as he's wiping the grass stains off his own clothes as well.

"you did that on purpose, you pest." you snap at him. harry looks at you incredulously as he fixes his practice jersey. "are you mad? it was an accident, i wasn't looking where i was going, drama queen." he snaps back, giving you a dirty look up and down. you can feel your jaw clenching and fists balling at your sides. "oh yeah, sure, you just so happened to run into me of all people in the sky. you know, you're such a…"

you pause in your anger noticing a gash on the side of harry's face with blood starting to drip down his cheekbone. harry notices your concern and gives you a confused look. you sigh and instinctively pull down the sleeve of your sweatshirt to hold it against his wound. "now you have a giant cut on your face, for fuck's sake," you tell him, your voice a mix of panic and exasperation. harry winces at your hand making contact with his face, but his eyes grow with concern hearing your panic.

you turn to your team and start guiding harry towards the school. "practice is over, do not be late tomorrow." you announce to them hurriedly, trying to keep your sleeve against harry's injury as you rush him off the field.

harry actually manages to stay quiet on the way to the infirmary despite your anticipation to shush him the entire way for making crude jokes. instead he remains silent and lets you urgently guide him through the empty halls.

once you arrive at the infirmary wing, you notice the entire room is full of people. every bed is taken, ans every nurse is running around frantically from patient to patient. you and harry share a confused look before you roll your eyes and find a nurse between beds. "excuse me, ma'am, i'm sorry to bother but um, potter here was being an idiot and got a cut on his face that just needs to be bandaged quickly." you motion towards harry and feel him give you a nasty look out of your peripheral for calling him an idiot.

the nurse, completely exhausted, sighs and motions towards a room to the side of the check-in station. "look, we are swamped with a potion experiment gone wrong here. if it's just a cut that doesn't need stitches there's a first aid kit in the little room over that way." she tells you quickly before being called away to another patient. you try to intervene but she's already jogging away, leaving you with a bloody harry in your hands. literally.

you sigh, clearly annoyed, and turn to examine harry's cut again. pulling your blood-soaked sleeve away, you see the blood flow still hasn't slowed and decide to just bite your tongue and help harry despite your hatred for him only growing in this situation.

you drag harry towards the little room, opening the door and turning on the lights to reveal the smallest examination room you'd ever seen. you had no idea this was even here, but it only contained a sink, a cot, a locked medicine cabinet, and a first aid kit. you closed the door behind harry and locked it. you grab a few paper towels from next to the sink and walk harry over to the cot. "sit," you command him, practically pushing him with your other hand to sit down.

harry looks up at you softly, way softer than he's ever looked at you. it makes your heart skip a beat but you ignore the feeling quickly. "here," you tell him coldly, handing over the paper towels. "just apply pressure on it while i get the first aid kit."

harry does as he's told and you slowly pull away your sleeve, making a disgusted face at the stains left on the cuff. you sigh and pull your arm back through the sleeve, starting to take off the hoodie altogether. "well, that's ruined," you complain, throwing it to the floor, leaving you in a tiny tank top and workout shorts.

harry's watching you intently, adjusting his glasses and shifting his weight in his seat. you walk to the sink and thoroughly wash your hands in case any blood happened to get on you as well.

opening the first aid kit up you find a tiny bottle of isopropyl alcohol, cotton rounds, and bandages. pouring alcohol on the cotton, you turn to harry and still find him watching you.

you give him a look. "what?" you ask with pinched brows. harry, for once, looks flustered as he turns his eyes away from you, instead staring at the floor below his feet. you just roll your eyes and set down the alcohol, walking towards harry and pulling away his hand from his cheek.

"here," you say, moving his jaw to look up towards you. "this is gonna hurt a little," you tell him before gently cleaning the cut with the cotton round. harry winces, but his eyes never leave your face. you try to ignore his gaze but it becomes even more intense the longer you take to stop the bleeding. you can practically feel his stare burning holes into your skin, and you start to feel that familiar annoyance rise in your stomach.

"i know i'm pretty, potter, but can't you look anywhere else?" you complain, giving him a cold look before returning your attention to his cheek. harry's eyes drop again, but end up falling on your chest this time. you back away and scoff, throwing the cotton pad into the trash next to the cot. "perv," you mutter under your breath.

just as you're preparing the bandage on the counter next to the sink, you hear harry say something from behind you. "you're gonna have to speak up, kid," you chuckle, throwing away some wrapping in the trash. "your, um, your back," you hear him stutter.

you turn to give him a confused look. "what?" you ask. harry motions towards your back, and you turn to look at yourself in the mirror above the sink. you look at your back and pull up your tank top slightly to see a massive bruise forming on your ribcage. you gasp at the size and color, immediately turning your anger towards harry.

he already looks prepared for your rage before you can even start to say anything. "you bloody prick, i know you did this on purpose. do you seriously want to win so badly you'd nearly break a rib to get there?" you snap at him, pulling your shirt back down and angrily marching towards him still sitting on the cot.

"i told you, [y/n], it was an accident." he says. you pause. he's never called you by your first name, at least not to your face. you were actually surprised he knew what it was in the first place.

harry looks up at you innocently, his eyes soft and brows raised. this just angers you again. you take another step towards him, your legs practically between his as harry tilts his head up to keep looking at you.

his glasses are crooked, his hair is a mess, and the cut on his cheek is still raw. and still, for some reason, your heart skips a beat looking down at him. you've never been so close to his face. you've never noticed his freckles before.

"you should just be glad i haven't targeted you the way you've targeted me all these years, potter. you're lucky i'm a nice person and don't believe in revenge, or else you'd be the one with nearly broken bones and a bruise the size of your lungs." you spit in his face, your tone razor sharp.

harry's expression hardly changes at your words. if anything his eyes only soften more watching you become filled with anger.

"and wipe that innocent look off your face before i do it for you. you should be thanking me for patching up this cut and not making it worse." you continue to vent at him as you step away to grab the bandage from the counter.

you're just starting to press down on the adhesive of the bandage around harry's injury when his eyes meet yours again. "thank you." he says, his voice broken and whiny. something about the way he says it makes your stomach drop to the floor. harry's usual annoying temperament was completely gone, no longer making mocking jokes or insults towards you, instead only speaking softly and looking into your eyes even softer.

confused and feeling a strange mix of emotions, you finish applying the bandage on harry's face without a word.

you start to put away the first aid kit, taking one last look at your bruise in the mirror with a sigh.

"i'm sorry." you hear harry say quietly. you look at him, his expression empathetic and almost concerned for you. it was then you started to believe the incident really was an accident. why would harry ever be apologetic for something he'd usually take loads of pride in, like knocking you off your broomstick?

you swallow nervously and look away from him, fixing your shirt. "you should be," you try to remain cold, but your voice is breaking. "i'm just glad you also hurt yourself in the process. you deserve to feel some of the pain too." you say in a deadpan voice.

you pick up your sweatshirt off the floor and start soaking the sleeve in some hot water to at least try and get some of the stains out.

"you're right." harry says behind you, his voice somber. you roll your eyes at his pathetic attempt to seem remorseful, turning to him curtly. "i know i'm right. and you know what else? you're just a loser who picks on people to feel better about yourself because you're insecure." you insult him.

you expect at least some kind of reaction from harry, but he just continues to watch the ground with a sullen expression. "i know." he says quietly.

you groan and turn to shut the sink faucet off, walking towards harry with the same accusatory pointing finger from before. "and you can stop with this whole act you're putting on 'cause it's pissing me right off," you nearly yell at harry, getting in his face. he just looks up at you with those big blue eyes again, biting his lip harshly.

you went to scold him again when you noticed a rather large bulge in his pants from where you were standing above him. you thought you were just assuming, but once you took a step back, you knew exactly what was happening with a smirk growing on your face.

harry nervously looked down at his crotch before quickly attempting to hide his obvious erection. he adjusted his pants and tried to use his shirt to cover it, but you were already laughing at him. "this cannot be real, this has got to be a setup. there's no way you just got turned on by me insulting you for 10 minutes straight." you could hardly get the words out from laughing so hard.

clearly embarrassed, harry looks between you and his erection with fear in his eyes. it only makes the situation that much better for you as you continue to humiliate your own bully.

"u-uh, this isn't, um–" "don't try and tell me this isn't what it looks like, potter. i know exactly what's going on here." you interrupt him and cross your arms. "you're such a loser that the only way you can get off is by having girls hate you. y'know, most guys get erections from making out with a girl, not getting threatened by them." you mock him, still a hint of anger laced in your voice.

harry's looking at you with that same innocent expression, but there's something else in his eyes that makes you pause. he's not just embarrassed, he's actually enjoying what you're saying to him. you can see his pupils dilate just looking at you, his bulge only becoming more obvious the longer you mock him.

you want to be disgusted at this situation. you want to hate the way harry's looking at you and leave the room with a huff to tell everyone about his little kink. you want to call him a disgusting creep and slap him across the face for ever thinking of you in such a way. but, you don't. because you can't.

you should be disgusted. you should be creeped out. but, for some reason, you're just not. you should be filled with rage ready to tell him off again, but, instead, you find yourself full of curiosity and…flattery?

of course it's never flattering for a guy to get an erection thinking about you being upset with him, if anything it's quite morbid. however, with you and harry, everything finally started to make sense. this is why he was always pushing your buttons just to get a rise out of you, or why he seemed to thrive off of your heated interactions. because he did. he found pleasure in your anger.

again, you should be fuming, but you're just not. your heart is racing and so is your mind. you're completely flustered at this point, possibly even more than harry is. you can feel the blush on your neck and cheeks and can't tell if the embarrassment you're feeling is secondhand or not.

still looking up at you, harry attempts to cover his erection up again with his pants. you just laugh at him again as there's no real point, you're more than well aware of his predicament at the moment. his blush is so severe he's nearly completely red, and you can see his hair start to stick to his forehead from the sweat. while you'd usually feel nothing but contempt looking down at harry's innocent expression, this time you feel a bit different. he almost looks younger now, his eyes soft and lips slightly hung open.

you notice the bandage around his scar starts to lift a bit around his eye, so you sigh and place a hand on his bandage to help reattach it. again, harry almost winces at your movement, and you can see his erection twitch under his pants. god, he really does get off on this.

while fixing it, harry's still watching you intently. "i'm sorry," his voice is soft but deep, making your blood run cold. you pause to look him in the eyes. "and what are you sorry for?" you lead him on.

harry's brows furrow together slightly. "for…well, y'know," he trails off, offering a fake, awkward chuckle. you smirk as you look back at his bandage. "no, i don't know. so why don't you tell me, potter?" you ask teasingly.

without fail, harry shifts in his seat uncomfortably and tries to subtly hide his erection again. your smirk only grows at his predictability.

"u-uh, well, i-i'm sorry for…for, um, getting turned on by you…" his stuttering is only making you enjoy the moment more. maybe part of you likes seeing him squirm like this under your hand. "by me…?" you lead him on again, taking a step away to examine his bandage. harry swallowed nervously watching you. "by you…being mean to me." he says meekly, his voice small and embarrassed.

you smirk at him again and decide to test the waters. "good boy."

harry's face absolutely drains of color. you can practically see his heart thumping out of his chest. and, if you weren't wrong, his hands actually started shaking in his lap.

you start laughing again at his reaction, hardly able to hold back from how funny this situation was to you. harry potter, the school's bad boy, the top slytherin student, the quidditch captain, your biggest rival, has a literal kink for being degraded. and he had the nerve to ever try and call you a loser.

"sorry, it's just so funny to me," you tell him between laughs, wiping tears from your eyes. "actually, no, i'm not sorry. i think you deserve to be laughed at for this. what guy actually gets horny from girls being mean to him?" you ask rhetorically, crossing your arms again and examining harry in front of you.

he's completely disheveled and getting sweatier by the minute. he breaks eye contact after your question, nervously scratching the back of his neck to waste time. "uh…" he starts off, clearly not knowing what to say to that. you just continue smirking, watching him struggle. "i mean, is it every time a girl is mean to you this happens? i'd imagine with your attitude that would be pretty often." you joke, partially curious but mostly just trying to make him squirm more.

harry shakes his head, both of his hands rubbing at his face and wiping the sweat from his hairline. "n-no, it's, uh…" he starts again, eventually trailing off with a sigh. you start tapping your foot impatiently. "i'm waiting." you say in a mocking tone.

harry tenses again, still not looking back up at you just yet. his body language is clearly uncomfortable and defensive. "it's not…all girls, okay? it's just…you." he finally spits out, clearly struggling to put his thoughts into words. "this only happens with you, i swear. a-and it's only started this year, and i don't know why." he rambles, speaking with his hands, his eyes still fixated on the floor.

for once, you're speechless. you weren't expecting that confession from him, and you certainly didn't know how to react to it in the moment. i mean, this potter kid has had it out for you since day one, he's practically made you two enemies on the field and off, and now he wants to tell you all this? it's a bit confusing, to say the least.

harry sighs, resting his face in his hands once again. "look, i'm sorry about all of this, okay? all of it, not just today, but everything. i shouldn't have been so rude to you all this time, especially not for the reasons i have…" you can practically hear harry wincing at his own words. he uncovers his face but continues to look down. "just…please, please, don't tell anyone. i know that's asking for a lot considering all i've done to you, but…please, [y/n]." he's nearly begging.

you just watch him carefully, trying to figure out how to respond to all of this. on one hand you're inclined to feel insulted, disrespected, and downright disgusted at this information, but in reality…you're just obscenely curious. i mean, how often does a guy get turned on by you being mean to him? and not just you, but specifically, only you. does that mean he actually likes you? or is it only a sexual thing? and how would that even work?

as your mind continues to raise more and more questions, you feel yourself speaking before you even decide what to say.

"fine, i won't tell anyone. if," you take a slow step towards harry. he looks up at you with flushed cheeks and wide eyes. your heart leaps at the sight of him so vulnerable beneath you. it's as if you can see him thinking anything, anything for you.

you're not sure what's possessing you in this moment, but you can't stop yourself from pushing the limits further between you and harry. again, your mouth starts speaking for you.

"if…you let me help." you say with a smirk, closing the gap between you and harry and standing between his legs once again. he's looking up at you in complete shock, his eyes examining every inch of you in front of him. he's trying to speak but his mouth just keeps opening and closing, gasping for air and nervously chuckling.

arms still crossed, you wait for harry to say something and enjoy seeing him be the speechless one this time.

he eventually looks back up at you, biting his lip again and leaning back slightly. "help…me?" he asks, confused. you laugh at him, shaking your head. "yes, potter. help you. can't have you leaving here with that," you motion down to his pants with your head. "can we?" you ask seductively.

again, you're not sure what's making you act like this right now, but you honestly didn't mind it. you already got a kick out of insulting harry anyway, why not watch him struggle a bit harder under your thumb in this tiny exam room?

harry's completely frozen. you smile at him this time, the most genuine one you could muster in the moment. "if you want to, of course," you say quietly, softening your gaze at him and fixing his messy hair. harry makes a soft sound and leans into your touch, his eyes closing. you giggle to yourself, he just looks so innocent resting in your hand.

the moment didn't last long as you tighten your grip on the hair on the back of harry's head, pulling it so he's looking right at you. his eyes open and a soft whine escapes his lips. "i'll take that as a yes?" you ask smugly, leaning down until your faces were nearly touching. harry does his best to nod his head, swallowing nervously and glancing at your lips.

you smile at him again. something just felt so right when you were in control, seeing harry's front disappear as he became a mess in your hands. you felt powerful, confident, and, to your dismay, insanely turned on from the entire situation. your feelings of hate and desire for harry drove you mad, yet he seemed more than willing to be the recipient of both.

so, you lean forward, and you kiss him.

it's soft at first, slow, shy, you feel like harry's barely breathing. eventually he catches up, nearly moaning into your mouth as you feel your stomach fluttering. you put your other hand on his cheek and sit on harry's lap, your knees resting on the cot around harry's hips. you feel his hands tread carefully up your thighs and under your shorts, his fingers digging into your skin roughly.

this time you can't hold back your moans, causing harry to melt even more into you. his lips were soft, careful, but so eager. it's like he was starving and yet still took his time with you.

you pull away slightly, your breath heavy and forehead resting on harry's. "lay down," you command him, climbing off his lap. harry quickly lies back on the cot, kicking off his shoes in the process. you do the same before crawling back on top of him, carefully resting your ass directly on his erection.

harry openly groans, his hands reaching for your hips and squeezing the skin roughly. you bite your lip to hold back another moan. you slightly adjust your position and cause harry's head to roll back against the cot. "[y/n]..." is all he manages to say in his broken voice.

he's already such a mess and all you've done is sit in his lap. who would've known all this time his teasing you was just a cover up for this?

"this'll be easy. you're already practically falling apart on me, potter." you tease him, your cold fingers finding their way under his jersey. harry's body shivers, his hands moving from your hips to your waist. his fingers crawl under your shirt as well and cause your skin to break out in goosebumps.

he slightly smirks at this reaction, but you don't let him have his moment for long. "and don't get cocky," you warn him before you start grinding on his erection. his head rolls back in pleasure again, his mouth hanging open and fingers digging into your skin. you smirk to yourself. "don't forget you're the loser who likes to be insulted here." you remind him harshly, your hands running along his chest under his jersey.

harry's noises are completely pathetic, his hips bucking into yours for even the slightest bit more friction. you stop grinding into him and he lets out a shaky breath, looking at you with needy eyes. he looks so worked up already and you've barely done a thing.

"shirt off," you tell him, pulling at the material. harry, again, doesn't hesitate to follow instructions. he removes his hands from your waist and quickly takes off his jersey, throwing it to the floor.

your breath hitches in your throat looking at harry's soft, sweaty skin in the dim fluorescent lighting of the exam room. you never realized just how toned his shoulders and chest were, or how many scars and bruises he seemed to have, both new and fading.

you look back up at harry, his eyes nervously watching your every move. you lean in to kiss him again, messier, needier. his hands return to your hips and practically force you to start grinding on him again. you would've intervened if you weren't just as desperate to continue rolling your hips into harry's hard erection.

a soft moan comes from your lips as you grind into him harder, your hands resting on his chest for support. harry groans, his brows furrowing. "shit," he mutters, only encouraging you to go faster.

you could feel how wet you were through your panties. your stomach was tightening already, making you feel a bit embarrassed of your own desperation. seeing harry be so willing to please you only had you wanting him more.

just as you start to feel yourself blush at your lack of self control, you notice harry's panicked expression, his grip on your skin guaranteed to leave bruises. "what's wrong?" you ask, somewhat sarcastically and also concerned.

he struggles to get a sound out. "hmph, gonna, fuck, please, don't," he's stumbling through his words, barely able to keep his eyes focused on you. his hands try to stop your hips, but his grip his weak.

"stop what?" you ask curiously, slowing your hips slightly but rolling into him harder. harry moans, his hand covering his mouth hearing how loud it echoed through the tiny room. you just laugh at him and pull his hand away, guiding it to your chest. harry's eyes widen, trying to pull his hand away.

"stop, gonna…cum, if you don't," harry whimpers, squirming under your weight as his legs try to escape. you take your opportunity and pick up your pace, giving harry an evil smile.

"aw, already?" you ask, forcing his hand back to your chest. you guide his fingers along the curves of your breasts through your thin tank top, causing him to breathe even heavier. "you haven't even gotten to see these, and you're already about to cum? i was right, you're such a fucking loser, potter." you tell him, guiding his hand back under your shirt.

you can feel him struggling under you even more, his torso only getting sweatier. you just grab for his other hand and guide it under your shirt as well. he watches as intently as he can, his eyes still rolling back in pleasure at the pressure in his lap.

you help him lift his hands higher and higher until he's cupping your tits under your shirt, your breathing becoming hitched at the feeling of his rough fingers running across your sensitive nipples.

"fuck," you say under your breath, loud enough for harry to moan and grope you rougher, lifting your shirt above your tits. you gasp at the feeling and look back down at him, a sweaty mess with eyes barely open.

"please, please," harry starts begging, his hips still trying to squirm away from you. you place your hands on his sides and push him down, continuing to chase your high. "just stay still, harry," you nearly whimper. you realize you've never called him by his first name either.

that's when he comes completely unraveled beneath you. he's practically crying out in pleasure and desperation, his hands roughly squeezing the soft skin of your tits as his head is thrown back against the cot. just watching him fall apart like this has you shaking on top of him, feeling the warm wetness of your panties leaving a mark on harry's jeans.

it takes a few moments for both of you to come back to earth. harry's hands eventually loosen their grip on you before quickly pulling away, his eyes wide and panicked again. "sorry," he says quickly, his cheeks completely flushed.

you just shake your head and laugh, climbing off of harry's lap and adjusting your shirt. harry sits up and runs his hands through his hair, trying to catch his breath still.

the room is a bit awkward, but you eventually start to chuckle and push harry's shoulder lightly. "so…" you lead him on. harry chuckles as well, hanging his head low. "so…" he repeats, his voice still soft.

"so…is it wrong of me to assume you might actually like me?" you ask, picking up harry's jersey and handing it to him. he offers you a shy smile and puts it back on, shaking his head. "y'know, i'm not sure there's a way i could've made it more obvious." he admits half heartedly.

you laugh again, feeling a blush crawl up your cheeks. you turn away from him and grab your sweatshirt from the sink, the sleeve still completely stained.

"i really am sorry about that, i have a few you could borrow if you'd like." he says with a smirk, pointing towards your sweatshirt. you roll your eyes. "well, good to know your cockiness hasn't gone anywhere." you respond, suppressing a smile.

he chuckles. "never will." he says confidently. you give him a look and take a step towards him, causing him to swallow nervously.

you laugh at him again. "yeah, okay, pretty boy." you tease him, stepping away and towards the door. he follows behind you, still blushing like crazy.

leaving the exam room you notice all the nurses are still running around like lunatics, having no idea what's just happened only a few feet away from them. you and harry share a knowing look before running off together, laughing as you reach the halls.

"y'know," harry says between laughs, looking over at you with nothing but love in his eyes as you continue walking the empty halls. "don't think i'll go easy on you tomorrow just because of…that." he says, motioning behind him with a shy smile. you smile back at him and offer your hand. harry looks a bit hesitant, but shakes it anyway. "wouldn't want it any other way, potter."

tag list:

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if you'd like to be part of my tag list, just leave a comment or message me! if you enjoyed this please let me know, your comments make my day <3

[dazed-and-confused23]

Dear Hearts and Gentle People 8

Summary: Cooper and his wandering trader come across a dangerous wasteland baby, and it's a good thing they're both a little crazy or he didn't think they could pull this off.

Pairings: The Ghoul | Cooper Howard x Female Reader

Warnings. Mhm. None this time? Just a fun Lil chapter

Masterlist

It's the sound of soft chirping that grabs your attention. You've been listening to it for the past ten minutes, and it's only grown louder the further you walk east. You look over your shoulder at Cooper, who rolls his eyes and catches up to you. He thinks that you're too curious for your own good. Shit would get you killed one of the days.

"We ain't gotta check out every sound we hear, smoothskin," He grumbles, but you won't be budged. You unfortunately had a bit of a bleeding heart when it came to animals, and you wouldn't leave this one without help either.

"Just a quick look. If it's fine, then we can go," She assures her ghoulish companion, and Cooper curses the sky, but follows after his smoothskin nonetheless.

You wind around some burnt out buildings and come to a sudden halt when you spot what's been making all the noise. Fear chokes you for half a second as you take in the carcass of a massive deathclaw. It's dark horns curving back and away from its long face, and you recognize it as a female. A dead one.

Cooper grabs you by the collar when you take a step forward, his dark eyes furious as he halts you, "The hell do you think you're doin', girl?"

"It's dead, Cooper," she snapped right back and shrugged out of her jacket, leaving it dangling from the ghoul's hand. You inch forward and peak over the bead body, only to come face to face with the cuties little wasteland baby you'd ever see. Your heart melts at the sight, and you round the carcass to crouch by the baby deathclaw.

"Cooper, it's horns haven't even grown in yet," you coo and watch the sandy colored baby chirp and cry. Its stubby legs waddling closer and closer to where you're crouched. You want to scoop it up and cuddle it close, but you aren't that irresponsible.

The ghoul shuts his eyes and prays to any deity that would listen to give him strength and patience to deal with you today. He closes the distance and squats beside you, eyes narrowed in on the dumb beast that takes two steps before tripping on its tail and falling face first into the sand.

"We should kill it. It won't survive out here without its momma," Cooper says and stands up to draw his side arm, pointing the barrel at the little ones head. The deathclaw is saved by his smoothskin, placing a hand in the weapon and lowering it, and he looks over to see a calculating, shit eating grin playing across your lips.

He knows what you're thinking with just a glance, and a great sigh explodes out of his lungs, "This is a terrible idea, Sweetheart."

You scoff and dig in your backpack, retrieving some wrapped chunks of meat that you toss to the baby. The deathclaw coos and chops or up, and they get a good look at the dangerous teeth inside its tiny mouth. Still hungry, the baby chirps and toddles over to sit in front of you, its reptilian eyes begging for more.

You grin and toss it the rest of the meat, glancing back up to Cooper to see him shaking his head.

"I think it's a wonderful idea," you say and then reach out to carefully pat the baby deatbclaw on the head, "Welcome to the club, Dusty."

*notes.* this was inspired by some lovely fanart by a couple of artists here on Tumblr. I couldn't find their named but I wanted to give credit where credit is due! ❤️*

P.s. I was rereading the Dusty parts of this series and realized that I was also inspired by an old fo3 fic back on fanfic.net. I'm not sure if it's still there, but it was fantastic! Credit if the creator ever sees this!

[mysterycitrus]

Hey!! Love your art and your meta posts. I was wondering about your thoughts on something because I don't think I've ever really read about much of it in canon (might be missing something though), but do the batkids have their own Brucie Wayne-esque personas? I figure they'd be expected to act a certain way, like they've been taking in by a party loving play boy, they're gonna be a at least somewhat spoilt social butterflies right? I just can't stop thinking about the kids hitting like teenhood and having to adopt and put on that kind of act because it would be a little suspicious if nothing about Brucie rubbed off on them. Maybe they steal Bruce's cars or crash a gala, something staged just for the tabloids like that. Idk, I just find the idea of (most of) the kids not being raised anything like that and having to act up in the name of keeping their identities safe really interesting because I don't think they'd find it fun, I think it would actually gross them out to throw around money and act like brats.

lovely anon this is SUCH a fun question and i shall answer it in parts. the first is this — what is the purpose of the bruce wayne persona?

bruce created a specific public image of himself for several reasons — to deflect any suspicion that he’s batman, to justify his frequent disappearances from the public eye, and to be consistently underestimated by people he was in opposition with (gothams corrupt elite, the gcpd, etc). the popular interpretation of this is that he’s like a kardashian, but to be honest id say he’s a lot more like a donatella versace— relatively reclusive but who occasionally pops up doing the weirdest shit ever. he posts on dick’s insta like bruce WAYNE ❤️

wrt his kids, no, i don’t think many of them have that sort of glamorised persona. part of it is that the “gala” trope in fandom just…… doesn’t really exist in the comics? like bruce will take vicki vale to an event, or go to a luthercorp thing to gather intel, but the idea of everyone hitting up an event at the gotham four seasons is not a common story beat. and even then, again, the performance has a purpose outside of just being a distraction.

in particular, u have to consider how his kids are different from bruce. jason and dick were both lower class, if not actively below the poverty line and acting spoiled won’t win them any favours. cass straight up isn’t interested in that kind of performance. damian is honest to a fault. duke has his own family that he’s proud of. when u consider that damian and cass and duke and dick also aren’t white, u have to think about how acting like a glitzy idiot would help them in the same way it would bruce. short answer — it very much wouldnt. many people will think less of them regardless. it would be dehumanising, and because none of them have that same degree of disconnection from the standard person that bruce has, how would them being seen as spoiled idiots help them?

dick has always lived with civilian neighbours, had civilian jobs, and fostered civilian relationships. him being a cop was bad, but he takes a lot of pride in being someone who’s like… dependable. a good neighbour. jason is legally dead, but he wouldn’t have wanted to be seen as the dumb poor kid either. cass would probably play with peoples expectations of her, but not like an established persona that she has to take on. duke is, again, very attached to his family and where he grew up, and is very aware of assumptions people might make about that. damian would rather kill himself than pretend to be an idiot. tim, again, is a strong maybe, but i also don’t think he’d give a shit. he really values keeping himself as tim drake intact, away from robin. he wants to keep being himself.

i just think most of them would stay out of the public eye. remember — bruce isn’t active online. there is still massive control over released information about him, especially with babs. i think they would purposely make themselves boring and unassuming.

the short answer is that none of them, truly, possess bruce’s raw commitment to the bit.

[spidybaby]

Stressed

Summary: When he's stressed and worried about work, that's the only thing on his mind.

Warnings: angst because I'm a sucker for it 😤

A/N: So I'm inspired, and you already know I love angst, I breathe angst, I eat angst. (Okay, I'm done exaggerating), but lemme know how you are? Are you drinking water? Hope you're fine 💐❤️

Since Kylian sent that letter to the higher-ups of PSG about not wanting to stay until 2025, everything is drama.

The french tabloids, for some reason, want him to look bad, want him to look like this ungrateful man.

He's experiencing too much pressure, Sergio leaving, Lionel leaving, possibly Verrati leaving. It was a mess. The whole teams is.

Especially now that this dumb reporter, her name is Sam, she's all over him about the whole side of him about the leaving, the selling, the quitting of Galtier. He's done with her, with the other reporters, with the ultras hating him for even breathing.

"Don't worry, Kyky, everything's going to be fine." Sergio pat his back, Kylian was one of the first ones to know about his retirement of the club. "Don't let that chick got to you."

"I just want her away from me." He drinks too fast for what he's used to. "Can't she cover something else?"

"Look, hermano." Ney says, he had to deal with the same reporter a few months before. "Just tell her something completely different from what she's asking, and she'll leave."

He knows she just wants to write something before anyone else, something that comes from his own, not for speculation. "Lie to her."

He scuff, it's not that easy to be away from her when she's also part of the PSG press people. She has access to everywhere. That makes him uncomfortable.

"Mira Kylian." Leo says. He's not new to this whole press drama. "Just don't mind her, ignore her, saying you have to be somewhere." He smiles, nodding to his advice.

Leo and Sergio are the ones he trusts with this media hate. They're goats, and they come from a long road. He can't deny that even Neymar is an expert. But he's been there for his own stupid mind, even tho he denied it.

He followed the advice Leo gave him, always ignoring her, saying the usual bonjour or a revoir. Nothing else.

That made her mad. She even asked Galtier for his number, not caring about writing him. That took him to the limit. He couldn't escape her. She was everywhere and anywhere at the same time.

"Don't stress, mon amour." You say kissing his cheek. You're massaging him, wanting to help him relax. "I know it's hard, but I'm here for you. It's only you and me."

You tried everything for him to relax, you didn't know the whole story. He never told you about this reporter. So you only think it's because of the whole letter drama.

♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤

"Bonjour, Kylian." Sam says, looking at him. She's blocking the door of the lockers. "Can we talk." She raised her eyebrows.

"I'm busy." He tries to pass her, but she's not moving, and the last thing he wants is touching her or making any type of contact. "Please move."

"Just five minutes." She says, begging him. "And I'll leave you alone forever."

"I prefer you to leave me alone now." His voice is this deep tone. He's done with her games. "Get out of the way." He ask nicely.

"Four minutes." She begged again.

"Sam, out of the way."

"Three."

He breathes deeply, and he's losing his temper. "I'll say it only one more time, and believe me, that I hate repeating myself." He grabs her arm, not hard but the right amount of pressure to move her gently. "I'm busy." He's mad. His whole day is ruined, thanks to her.

He enters his car, asking the driver to take him home. He's supposed to go to his mother's house, but he's too mad for that.

He arrived home funding. His train bag is now on the floor, you're home early, and you notice the noise, thinking maybe he fell.

"Are you okay?" You ask from your bedroom. Maybe he's hurt. "Ky? Amour?" You talk louder this time.

After a few minutes, you hear the footsteps on the stairs. A very agitated Kylian enters the room. "Hi, handsome." You say, opening your arms to him.

"Remember how you said you can take the stress out of me?" He sais breathless, you nod smiling. "Do it."

You throw the covers away from you. Ready to attack your boyfriend with kisses and attention. Your lips feel heavy on his own. He's tense. You can feel him.

There was no other reason for his mind to be elsewhere, hes uncomfortable by the fact that he has Sam on the back of his head, tunning after him, basically harrassi him.

There's no other reason for him to focus on anything other than you. The way your lips feel on his neck, the way your hands are touching the right places, the way you're making him feel good.

His hips are moving to a very fast pace. He's not one to take his frustration on you, but the way you're moaning his name and how your nails are scratching his back is making him lose control.

He doesn't know how, but it happens. He can't take her name out of his mind, now even when you're taking him so well.

When he dips his hips at a certain angle, the back of your head digs further into the pillow, and he attacks the exposed side of your neck. He's leaving red marks, marking you as his. The groan that's escaping his lips are pornographyc.

You could feel nothing but him, the weight of his body over yours, the thin layer of sweat on his back under your fingertips and on his forehead, making the hair close to your neck to stick to it.

What's making the entire situation so much worse is the fact that no matter how much he tries, he can't stop thinking about her. Not in a sexual way, but angrily wanting her to go away, to leave his mind alone.

His hand is griping your waist so hard. He knows he'll leave a mark. Moans coming out of his mouth. “Fuck, you feel so good.” he goes faster, knowing by the sounds you're making that you're close.

"Sam-" that's when he stops. His whole body stop. He doesn't know why he's saying her name. His eyes are open in a panic.

"Get off," you say out of breath. Your heart is beating as fast as if it's going off your body. "Get off of me."

You push his shoulders for him to get off of you. He pulled out and tried to explain. "Y/n, please, I didn't mean to do that."

Your mind is lost, one moment you're under him, holding him closer, kissing him and enjoying him.

And now you're pushing him away, not wanting him to touch you. You grab the covers of the bed. You wrap it around your body before running to the bathroom.

"Amour, please." He tries to grab your arms. "Amour." He almost catch you, but he's not fast enough.

The next thing he knows is you slamming the door in his face. He can hear the way you're breathing and how you sob. The sound is making his heart hurt.

"I promise I wasn't-" he can't even think of an excuse. He's fucked up, he's hearing the way you're crying and can't think of how to solve it. "Listen, she's a reporter that has been harassing me. She's always on me, and I".

You open the door, interrupting his explanation. You're standing there, tears running down your face, blanket around your body, eyes sad.

"Mon amour." He doesn't know if he can touch you. He doesn't want to make you more uncomfortable than what you already are. "I promise it's not what you think."

You pass him, walking to the room to get your clothes, dressing yourself again, hurried to get away from him.

"Please don't go." He says, hand grabbing your arm. "Please, let me explain." He feels like crying, not wanting to let go.

"Not now." You get off his hold. "I can't do this. Please get away from me." You push him lightly.

"Don't go, I'll go, but you don't have to go." He dresses himself, not wanting you to leave. "I'm fucking sorry." Your back is facing him. You can't look at him in the eyes.

♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤

The past week, you were running away from Kylian, leaving extra early for work and returning while he was still training.

For him, it was hard not being able to speak with you. But you needed time, and he's willing to let you have it. Even if that hurt him in the process.

For you, it's been weird. You can't wrap your mind around the fact of what's going on. For you, it hurts that he didn't trust you enough to talk to you about what's happening, and the other part of you is your ego being hurt by him naming another girls name.

You were sure with a talk and being honest, you both can make up. You trusted him when he says he has never been with her, but you also needed to know the whole story.

The sound of keys jiggling is the way you know he's home. When he walks he sees you sitting on the couch.

He's tired, everyone is hating on him for the stupid tabloids, and he can't even find comfort in your arms because he hurt you without intended to.

"Can we talk?" He swears the sound of your voice is magical. He missed it. He missed you. He nods and takes a seat next to you. "Who's Sam?"

He didn't hesitate to detail the whole thing. The things his playmates advised him. "Kylian, why didn't you report her to the management?" You're mad, not with him but with her for being such a bitch and harass him about a stupid football news.

"Because I thought she was going to leave me alone." He yells, frustrated. "I can't do this anymore."

You hug him, caressing his back and him cry his frustration. His not crying about her. He's crying about the news, about the hate, about the media not leaving him alone.

"I'm here, don't cry." You kiss the top of his head. "I'm sorry I didn't hear you before."

"It's not you, I'm the one who made the mistake of letting her abuse her power." He let you dry his tears. "I'm so done."

"It's not your fault. Don't say that." You kiss his cheeks. "You're fine now, I'm not letting her or anyone hurt you or make you feel uncomfortable." You hugged him. Promising you'll never let him feel that way again.

[landograndprix]

「Feel the magic ๛ l.n」

part x

✧.* your fans will do anything to defend you and lando and while life keeps getting better, someone else is struggling.

✧.* been listening to Lover by Taylor way too much lately, its giving birdie and lando..do whatever you want with that 😅 this a psa for the people who wanted to be on my taglist but never got tagged, i didn't forget or ignore you, I simply am unable to tag you and therefore removed you from the list feel free to ask me again so I can take a look at it. Taglist is open Love ya ❤️

✧.* prev part - next part

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y/nusername

liked by riabish, maxfewtrell and 672,652 others

y/nusername dumb, dumb, dumber and the dumbest. ❤️

tagged: cecilemoulin, landonorris, maxfewtrell

view all 983 comments

hannahh cool..y'all looking for a fifth? Asking for a friend..

cecilemoulin ❤️

norrizz who's who though? 👀

landofoouurr milou punching air right now

norry4 why? They're literally double dating and milou isn't dating anyone..awkward fifth wheel she would be

bott_ass now I ain't good at math but they stopped hanging out after those pictures of Carlos and Y/n got leaked so I think we can figure out who's at fault here 💀

landoy/n my favorite comfort people 🥰

yourmumsuser cuties 🥰❤️🥰❤️

bobsnorris not mamma y/l/n adopting Cecile and Max as well 😭

maxfewtrell ❤️

landonorris ❤️

landoscar I want what they have, is that too much to ask?

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mclaren

liked by pierregasly, landonorris and 236,532 others

mclaren and another P1 for y/n! 🥇🏆

#miamigp

tagged: y/nusername

view all 456 comments

marcuskleim woman is on her way to win her 4th wdc

norrizz that's mah gal 🥰

bott_ass love seeing max getting his ass humbled 🥰

jonathan0 max fan here loved the battle between them!

maxmaxmax love how the friendship between max and y/n seems way better than before!

maxverstap good thing kelly wasn't there, that hug was real tight 😭

norry4 no but he was so happy he could fight against y/n again, like you can't convince me he enjoyed last season..

maxverstap pretty sure they told y/n to let him win before every race..😒

riabish that's my girl ❤️

norrislan why are you favouring y/n again?

landoscar I don't think mclaren knew Milou was going to drive straight into lando's rear but okay...

mrsnorris I don't like y/n but this is a reach, milou fucked up lando's race.

hamilt44n can we talk about how happy max is whenever y/n is on the podium with him 😭

norstappen they were teammates but they're friends now ☺

charlos16 y'all talking about the way max and y/n acted but refuse to see the interaction between Fernando and y/n?

yukisan exactly!!!

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landonorizzzz

liked by y/nusername and 547 others

landonorizzzz lando with a fan earlier this morning 🥵

norry4 call me an ambulance cause I just died dead 😭

norrizz @.y/nusername

landoscar @.y/nusername lucky girl 😭

bobsnorris @.y/nusername

bott_ass @.y/nusername

landonorizzzz not y'all tagging y/n and her liking my post 😭

y/nusername I see that he's managed to escape his cage and go out looking like this..

maxnorris absolute slut behaviour 🙄

mrsnorris oh my god 🥵

y/nusername y'all have his phone number? You think I have a chance?

landonorris that's me in that picture

hamilt44n shoot your shot girl 👀

y/nlandooo these two I swear 😭

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Feel the magic taglist: @celesteblack08 @mrsmaybank13 @cha-hot @judesgfirl @roseseraj @kissesandmartinis @jpg3 @amulhermaisfelizdomundo @marialovesf1 @silkenthusiasts @luvrrish @laneyspaulding19 @emily-b @formula1bby @buckybarnessweetheart @strawberrychita @iifloweringnightsii @buendiabebeta @babyvinnie @mishaandthebrits @hockeyboysarehot @ironmaiden1313 @justdreamersdream

Lando taglist: @beatricemiruna @simp-for-fictional-people @landossainz @christianpulisic10

Everything taglist; @thomaslefteyebrow @hopefulinlove @smoothopz @honethatty12 @cixrosie @parkersmjs @ireadthensuetheauthors @celestialams @be-your-coffee-pot @heli991113 @kodzuvk @reality-is-a-con @80sloverry @bibissparkles @myescapefromthislife @lanando4 @elliegrey2803 @ravisinghs-wife @minkyungseokie @harrysdimple05

[love-belle]

i loved you so hard for a time !!!

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ in which everyone thinks that they're done for good but it's quite the opposite.

or

for when your love is just out of this world. ˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚

social media au // daniel ricciardo x fem!reader

prequel - used to love you ⋆·˚ ༘ *

warnings - language

author's note - tagging everyone that asked for part ii @lorarri @mirrorball-6 @willowpains @fluffyspaceprincess @twobluejeans @urmooniee @electrobutterfly @dakotali @ushygushybaby @sinofwriting hope you like this!!! thank you so much for reading, i love you <3

≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱

liked by lewishamilton, carmenmmundt, carlossainz55 and 2,826,628 others

yourusername here's another song lol

18,626 comments

username MOTHER WHAT

username GOODBYE I CAN'T DO THIS

username U CAN'T JUST DROP THAT OUT OF NOWHERE

username HELP THE BREAK UP ALLEGATIONS JUST KEEP GROWING

carmenmmundt such a heartbreaking song but beautiful nonetheless!!! loved this so much 🤍🤍🤍

-> yourusername stop thank you so much ilyyyy 😭😭😭😭😭

username DON'T THINK WE'RE ABOVE MIGHT HAPPEN TO US

username did she.........indirectly..........confirm it?????????

username ahahahahahah!!!!! im fine!!!!!!! toTAllY fiNE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

landonorris slayed the house down 😝

-> yourusername ur spending too much time on tiktok

username help haha im crying so hard haha

username was this necessary lol

username AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

username goodnight.

carlossainz55 on repeat 🔁

*liked by yourusername*

username IM CRYING WHATCGENNCUCJ

username i need daniel to comment like my life depends on it bc it DOES

username im a child of divorce 💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔

username tears are rolling down my cheeks

francisca.cgomes ❤️❤️❤️

*liked by yourusername*

username IT'S 7AM I CANNOT DO THIS

username mother i am not strong enough for this

username daniel and her 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭💔💔💔💔💔💔💔

selenagomez heartbreakingly beautiful 🤍

*liked by yourusername*

username this is my 13th reason ahahahah!!!!!

username alr.

≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱

liked by georgerussell63, charles_leclerc, pierregasly and 863,826 others

danielricciardo we're just two people.

9,628 comments

username GOODNIGHT.

username im so lost rn

username bitches wouldn't be in this situation if they just communicated instead of talking to each other through captions (daniel and y/n are bitches)

username daniel in his grovelling era ???????

landonorris 👍

-> danielricciardo 🙂

-> username LANDO WHAT DO U KNOW

-> username king spill the tea

username im honestly out of words rn

username from "i think we'll work bc she's just the better half of me like all of my best parts are of her and she just balances me out and we'll make it till forever, i'm sure of it" to "don't think we're above might happen to us"

-> username shaking in my boots rn

username AHSBDBDNHDBEJSJAJSNDKSN

maxverstappen1 right

*liked by danielricciardo*

username the grid knows something i SWEAR

username i was doing just FINE but then i saw an edit of daniel and y/n with mr loverman and im now RUINED

username dad please talk to mom she's in her sad songs era again 🙏🙏🙏

username god keep testing me and you'll be seeing me soon 🥰

username y/n and daniel are just being silly! don't worry guys 😂😂😂

-> username riiiiiight it's just a big prank 🤣🤣🤣

username no more daniel saying "my girl" 💔💔💔

-> username NO MORE Y/N SAYING "MY BITCH MY LOVE MY BF MY LOVE"

username shut up everybody they're not allowed to break up ahahahahahaha 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

username "this award is for daniel, my forever kinda person, sorry i called u a dumb asshole when we first met. i didn't lie but still, just kidding — not really but thank u for being my muse for the past few years, it's been incredible, an amazing journey, full of love and life, loving u, being loved BY u, so thank u. here's to our forever"

-> username "this win is for y/n, the mean girl i pulled by being even meaner to her. nah, not really she's very sweet, she will call u a dumb bitch though. i love her"

username here's me logging off and going to that river in egypt. take care y'all

≡;- ꒰ °twitter ꒱

≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱

liked by f1wags4ever, paddockgirlies, y/n4everrr and 76,528 others

paddock.club break-up confirmed for ricciardo and y/l/n? fans believe that daniel and y/n are over for good as the formula one driver was seen leaving the singer's hometown — without her. rumours have been flying ever seen y/n released two songs and fans reckon they're about daniel and their break-up. the couple dated for more than five years and their supporters are devasted by their potential split. numerous sources have also claimed that the couple "decided that it was for the best" and "they were just at different points of their lives". for more details about the pair, head to our bio and click on the link.

4,527 comments

username hahahahahahaha say sike rn

username oh!

username idk man how can u just "decide that it was for the best" after being together with someone for HALF A DECADE

username im so 💔💔💔💔💔

username they were so good together

username no bc them being at "different points in their lives" is straight up bullshit bc HAVE U SEEN THEM TOGETHER??????

-> username RIGHT????

-> username they would marry eachother every week if it was possible i can just tell

username y/n did not say "he makes my mind go like 'forever would be pretty cool with u' so obviously, im very lucky to have that kinda love in my life" for y'all to write this

username source???? trust me bro

username just wanna know who the sources are

-> username we'll be nice i swear

username i miss my parents 🫤🫤🫤

username so ur telling me that we may never get daniel at one of y/n's concerts ever again or see her smile at him standing in crowd and point to him while singing the songs she wrote for him???????? alr.

username im RUINED bc of this wtf

≡;- ꒰ °instagram stories ꒱

danielricciardo added to their instagram stories

≡;- ꒰ °twitter ꒱

≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱

liked by yourusername, landonorris, lilymhe and 2,528,926 other

danielricciardo she's not my girlfriend anymore

tagged yourusername

16,528 comments

username FUCK U BOTH I HATE U WHATCTRB CYCJ

username OH

username OH MY GOD

username i am not ok

carlossainz55 finally!!! i was scared lando would end up spoiling it

-> landonorris fuck you

-> danielricciardo had to keep him out of the country

username OH MY GOD

username IM SO?????? THIS IS??????? NO WORDS.

username oh they played us BAD

username us rn 🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡

lewishamilton the happiest for you both 🤍🤍🤍

*liked by danielricciardo*

username THEM ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

username all the y/n critics so quiet rn cuz girl really had us believing they broke up bc she wrote a sad song

-> username no bc she gagged the haters good

username THE CAPTION THE PHOTOS THE EVERYTHING

username this is my villian origin story

username the sigh of relief that just left my soul

username this was NOT cute do NOT do it again i was FIGHTING for my life (i love them sm they're my parents im gonna cry in a corner now)

username daniel saw twitter dragging him and decided to break the internet

-> username bro said let me show u something real quick and i respect him sm for that

-> username i know who my 🐐 is

landonorris happiest for you, mate!!! i better be the best man

-> maxverstappen1 what

-> danielricciardo battle it out idk

username THEIR WEDDING IS GONNA SO W I CAN ALREADY TELL

username this is historical

yourusername this is a terrible way of telling people we're engaged

-> danielricciardo you wanted to wait till we were married and then post a selfie with the caption "we're married bitches"

-> yourusername still think we should take this down and do that

-> danielricciardo y/n no

yourusername ahahahaha fiancé i love you ❤️

-> danielricciardo i love you so much mrs. ricciardo ❤️

username they're so 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

username WE SURVIVED THE GREAT WAR

username this is everything to me

≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱

liked by lewishamilton, danielricciardo, carmenmmundt and 3,917,528 others

yourusername i swear i couldn't love you more than i do right now and yet i know i will tomorrow. this love is everything to me, you are everything to me and i know i've said it a hundred times before, but thank you. thank you so much for making me feel like daylight and thank you for being my biggest supporter through everything. i cannot wait to slow dance with you in our kitchen at 4am and do the dishes with you while music plays in the background, i cannot wait to introduce you to people as 'my husband' and i cannot wait to come home to you everyday for the rest of my life. and most of all, i cannot wait to begin this life with you, full of love, happiness, old and new memories, songs and blessings. i love you, forever and then a day after that.

tagged danielricciardo

19,738 comments

username WHAT THR FYCK EHATCTHR FUCK WHATCTHR FUCK EHATCTHR FUCK

username IM GONNA THROW UP WJAT TBE FYCK

username GOODBYE.

username the caption.

carmenmmundt love you both so much 🤍 wishing you a lifetime of happiness!!!

-> yourusername carmennnn ❤️❤️❤️ we love you so much

username "i cannot wait to introduce you to people as 'my husband' and i cannot wait to come home to you everyday for the rest of my life" NO ONE'S DOING IT LIKE THEM

username hahahahaha im SO normal about this hahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

username they're so precious to me ❤️❤️❤️

username her songwriting is really THAT good that we believed they broke up huh

username MOTHER AND FATHER

landonorris daniel is crying btw x

-> yourusername OH MY GOD

-> danielricciardo I'M NOT IT'S ALLERGIES

username no bc i would SCREAM if someone wrote that for me

username the difference in their captions is SENDING me

username no bc u cannot believe they're engaged like 😭😭😭😭😭

-> username nah fr i feel like we watched them grow up

charles_leclerc happy this news is out, not happy about you both stealing my car. please give it back.

-> yourusername about that...

-> charles_leclerc WHAT

-> yourusername i am a motherfucker

-> danielricciardo she forgot your car at the hotel in a whole another city

-> username HOW DO U FORGET A WHOLE ANOTHER CAR

-> yourusername SHIT HAPPENS

username THE CAPTION BRO THE CAPTION

danielricciardo wait now i feel kinda stupid about my caption

-> yourusername it's okay baby i can be poetic enough for both of us

danielricciardo i love you so much

-> yourusername i love you so much more

danielricciardo also i am stuck outside on the balcony let me in please

-> yourusername how the fuck

-> danielricciardo lily threatened to cut off my balls one by one if i hurt you so i had to run and hide

-> lilymhe and i will do it again

-> yourusername i love you lilymhe

-> danielricciardo and right in front of me.....

username "i swear i couldn't love you more than i do right now and yet i know i will tomorrow" can u hear me crying,

username can't believe i ever thought that these bitches broke up 💔💔💔💔💔💔

≡;- ꒰ °twitter ꒱

[fedorah-the-explorah]

here are my stupid and dumb Carmen & Player friendship head canons:

Carmen rarely uses Google. If she wants to know something, she asks Player and he looks it up if he doesn't know it. This habit formed in the early days after escaping V.I.L.E, and Player never corrected it bc he thinks it's funny.

Player refuses the play board or card games with her because he knows she cheats. No one else believes him because she never gets caught and no one knows better than Player that underneath it all, Carmen is actually a mischievous bitch. Shadowsan knows she cheats too, but who is he to call out the skills he taught her?

They frequently start phone calls that last hours long in which they don't actually say much, they're just chilling in each other's company.

The others won't always know she's on the phone with him until she responds to something he says and they're like "Dude. How long has Player been here?"

They're both good liars but can't seem to lie to one another.

They play Minecraft :)

And Stardew Valley

Player keeps score of every time she does something reckless.

Carmen will be like, "Hey, I'm not reckless! I always think things through!"

And Player is like, "Oh yeah? Care to explain your actions on March 22, 20--"

"--Shut up."

Carmen started the habit of info-dumping about geography and Player picked up on it to support her.

Player speaks French ❤️

They gossip in French together.

Carmen learned French from France whereas Player learned Canadian French.

das it

[yawnderu]

As someone whos autistic myself, seeing your neet reader and her adorable relationship with simon makes me feel so included😭😭❤️

Often times cod x reader fics write the reader in a sorta weird misogynistic way (no offense and no hate!!!!) but you write the reader and ghosts relationship SO ADORABLYYY like they see eachother as people no matter how fucked up both of them are (and also i might just be in love with reader a bit shes so dorky and cute)

I get what you mean!! A bit dumb but it makes me really happy to have other autistic people telling me they can relate to neet!reader!! I love writing about her and about Simon because like you said, while they're both fucked up in their own ways, they see each other as way more than what meets the eyes.

Hell, they both knew each other before they were even that fucked up. She got to meet Simon's family and the man Simon was before Ghost even existed, and he got to meet her before she shut herself out from society and anything that entails having basic human interaction. I like to think that simply being together heals them in its own way, finding a home and a place where they truly belong in each other.<3

[weebsinstash]

Really contemplating the possibilities of yandere Vox but you meet him as his employee

--"this could've been an email" but it's your yandere boss constantly forcing you into unnecessary company Zoom calls which may not be occasionally just the two of you and he may or may not try and make himself look more cool/handsome with some sort of dumb filter or trick of his (and also your coworkers can kinda lowkey tell why they're suddenly getting pulled into calls where your boss is making them cringe trying to make your oblivious ass laugh or something and they all kinda hate you for making their jobs more annoying actually 😅 so then you have Vox potentially being a shoulder to cry on if people are being mean to you--)

Actually, about that office bullying.... something like... you overhear your coworkers in another room or around a corner or something talking shit and making fun of you to the point you start to cry and you turn around and Vox is there watching you totally about to boo hoo baby sob and you like, have to borderline run away from him because you're crying and you're hurting and just want to get away from everyone, but you also don't want to embarrass yourself and make some sort of scene where they'll mock you even more, so you're just, excusing yourself in tears, not even talking to Vox, not even confronting the others.

Here's Vox, just ever so casually popping his head into the room where your coworkers are still mocking you, "hey you guys? :) you're fired! :D and also? Since I own your souls, how about you do as I say aaaaaand go tell Valentino he's allowed to shoot you?" and Vox then goes to comfort you and says the gunshots are "like, a trespasser or something, it's so weird, so, um, anyways, I was thinking maybe you and I could--"

--VoxTek already having or suddenly installing crazy biometric surveillance state level equipment all over their portion of the tower, which includes a security camera in every office/workspace (which of course means there's ESPECIALLY one in yours). This man would be all but drooling over your retina scans, talking about how gorgeous your eyes are, all counting every pore or hair or scale you have on your face in extreme up close detail

--One on one training where if you mention even the slightest interest in something, he's completely indulging you or at least hearing you out. You wanna learn something coding-related? You wanna learn about music production? Oh, you say you have a product idea? And an idea for a commercial for it too? And if you're actually GOOD? If you, at the very least, give him solid ideas to build off of? Now you're getting an even bigger promotion to, say, his executive creator director or something! Maybe he'll invent some new position just for you and absolutely no one in the company will tell you about it because they're threatened with something much much worse than termination if they do

He does want his boo to feel important and special 🥺❤️ like he's a grown man from the 50s, he's older than you no matter what, but especially he's kinda coddling you a little if you're in your 20s or especially young like 18, he's got major cute aggression for you

--You're just in the company break room trying to enjoy your lunch and.... why is the head of the company in here with the normies? Oh, of course it's to sit with you. I can't help but think he probably eats a really shitty, processed, kinda typical modern gamer diet despite having the money to indulge himself, probably does on occasion, but, I can really see him appreciating a home cooked meal and ESPECIALLY if it's by you.

D'ya.... d'ya think he'd just... stick his fork in your lunch... and you wouldn't feel like you could say anything because He's A Fucking Overlord

--Imagine you've been employed like MONTHS before he becomes aware of your presence as an employee and, you started as a barely paid intern or, something real low level, SO low level that, Vox doesn't actually own your soul. So. After several MORE months of buttering you up, really giving you some good raises, some absolutely AMAZING fun times, he's dropping the bomb on you: everyone else at the company has their soul signed over, and you're the only one, and, honey, it's kind of company policy, so--

When I say I would love the idea of Employee Reader just IMMEDIATELY "w wait you wanna... What the fuck do you mean you wanna 'own my soul', why, why the fuck would you-- you know what, nah, I'm, I quit? I quit." And you're literally fleeing the fucking room, potentially having to jump out a window in case Vox has some sort of, lockdown defense mechanism, maybe one to keep angels out, but, you escape, and next thing Vox hears?

"Wait, what do you fucking MEAN 'THEY'RE A SOUND MIXER FOR THE RADIO DEMON NOW'--"