#i feel like i deserve better than that but on the other hand i fee like life's giving me exactly what i deserve and maybe this is it

[theflyingfeeling]

...😭

[archduke-enver-gortash]

mmm essay about sally and kid gort in the tags (cw for child abuse, mentions of suicide, animal cruelty and a murder attempt. i always hope i don’t have to say this but just in case: i don’t excuse or condone any of her or gort’s behaviour at all.) this is literally not even touching upon everything i have to say because i hit the fucking tag limit lmao. NOBODY READ IT’S BAD BRAINSTORMING I JUST NEEDED TO GET IT OUT SOMEHOW

[salsflore]

ummmm

[reverie-starlight]

{beautiful liar- m. atsumu}

gn!reader, no physical descriptions. highly suggestive at the end <3

it’s my birthday month, would you expect anyone other than atsumu to be the main focus?

atsumu thinks you’re beautiful when you lie to him.

the subtle strain of your facial features as you try to keep your expression neutral makes his heart beat faster in his chest.

he can’t help but feel fondness for you, even as you stand before him with the blood still on your hands. even after you’ve hurt him beyond repair, he can’t help but admire your quirks and tells and how hard you fight to keep his trust.

he places his hands on the countertop and lets the coolness of the marble bring him back to reality.

“I’ll ask you one more time,” he tries again, silently pleading with you to have mercy on him and finally cut him down from your web of lies.

“baby, do you know where my gym bag is or not?”

he watches as your expression cracks just a bit. you’re trying so hard not to break as you shake your head.

he thinks you’re absolutely stunning when you tilt your head down to hide the smile that finally cuts through.

“angel…” he warns, like he’s trying to keep a child from doing something they shouldn’t be. “look at me, please.”

he can’t help but laugh a little when your eyes meet his again and he sees that you’re tearing up from the effort.

it’s a known fact that you’re not a good liar unless the situation is… dire. you wear your heart on your sleeve, and that’s an admirable quality. atsumu has the same one, and he’s learned to like it on himself a bit more since loving it on you.

but he still grew up a twin, and even if he can’t hide his stronger emotions, he is most definitely a better liar than you.

(something he never lets you forget when he exploits your horrible poker face. like right now.)

“yes, ‘tsum?”

he shakes his head and smiles. “don’t ‘‘tsum’ me. I know ya hid my bag. don’t even try to lie to me, ya literally can’t.”

you finally let out a laugh of your own and he wonders if there are stars in his eyes making you shine this way, or if you’re just like that.

the butterflies in his stomach start fluttering again when you get up from the bar stool and walk to his side of the kitchen island.

you wrap your arms around his neck and he doesn’t think twice before letting his hands settle on your hips.

“I guess I can tell you where your bag is for a small fee.”

he raises an eyebrow. “oh can ya? how generous.”

you blow some air in his eye at his remark. “the fee is a kiss.”

“hmm, I don’t know if you deserve one after lying to me for a full ten minutes. well-“ he stops to correct himself. “attempting to lie to me.”

you gasp, but he knows you’re still being playful. “excuse me? never mind, I take it back, you’re not getting that bag today.”

“sweetheart~” he holds you tighter against him when you start to pull away and starts peppering kisses against your cheek.

“don’t you start sweet talking me, miya. it won’t work.”

he sighs and throws his head back. he’s not truly annoyed- he makes that clear with the easy, lovesick expression on his face- but he at least wants to know why you’re trying so hard to keep him home.

“baby. what’s going on with ya? is everything okay?”

you nod a little and he hates that his words cause you to frown. if his hands weren’t so comfortable on your hips, he’d bring one up to smooth out your forehead. “yeah… I’m sorry I’m making you late, I just miss you.”

his eyes widen. the new season has just started, so he’s been trying to get back into the swing of things. he loves going to practice, and he loves the new beginnings every start of the season brings, really he does.

but he hates the transition period between spending most of his time with you to having to find a healthy balance again.

of course you always reassure him that you understand it takes a minute to adjust, but that doesn’t mean he feels good about the unintentional neglect that can come from it.

he rubs his nose against your cheek. “baby, I’m sorry,” he starts. “ya know I don’t like being away for too long.”

your bottom lip juts out the tiniest bit and he leans in to kiss it. “I know… and I also know it’s selfish to keep you here because I’m feeling lonely… guess I’ve just been a little needier than usual lately.”

he thinks back to how you’ve practically been hanging off of him this whole week. he was a little confused by it, sure, but more so he’s been eating up all the attention and indulging you as much as possible.

taking in a deep breath, he makes a split second decision that will definitely have consequences later- good or bad, he won’t know until they come to pass.

but he knows whatever the outcome, it’ll be more than worth it just because he gets to see you smile now while carrying you to the sofa.

“atsumu! what are you doing?!“

“screw the gym bag, I’m staying here with you today.”

you gasp at his words and a panicked look washes over your face. “wait, no, that’s not what I was getting at-“

he shushes you. “no no, listen. it’s early in the season. we don’t have any games scheduled for a long while, yet and I stayed late last night. one day off won’t hurt, I’ll just go in earlier tomorrow.”

if his younger self could hear him now, he’d probably throw a fit, but he’s older and wiser and his angel needs him, so this is obviously the only logical solution.

your eyes gloss over with adoration, and there’s no room left inside of him for the guilt from skipping a day that he’s been building up for years.

he feels good about his decision to make you a priority. he felt good about it years ago when he asked you out and he gets the feeling he’ll feel good about it twenty years from now, wherever the both of you are by that point.

nothing could ever make him regret making you his top priority. you’ve given him so much, it’s only right that he does the same for you.

“thank you, ‘tsum,” you say after a while of just existing together on the couch.

he nuzzles into your neck and lets the warmth spread through his body at the feel of your torso against his. “‘course, sweetheart. but I’m still curious-“

he lifts himself up just enough that his face is hovering over yours. “where did you hide my gym bag?”

your peaceful expression twists into a smirk. “still not telling~” you sing.

he snorts. “alright, keep your secrets. we both know I have other methods of getting it out of ya. we’ve done this dance too many times, baby.”

you giggle and shake your head fondly. “oh ‘tsum, you couldn’t torture this information out of me. it’s too much fun for me to have something over you.”

his grin is wolfish as he takes in your words. “alright, sure, keep digging yourself into a deeper hole and see how fun it’ll be for ya later.”

“aww, you’re all bark no bi- hey!” you shriek as he playfully bites your nose.

“yeah, yeah, we’ll see if ya still think that when I’m done with ya.”

you don’t put up a fight when he slings you over his shoulder and carries you back to your bedroom.

BONUS:

you take the water bottle he offers you and gulp down half of it in one go.

he takes it from you and sets it off to the side before laying down beside you, equally spent. he feels you looking at him, so he raises an eyebrow at you questioningly.

he knows that look- you’re not completely ready to back down yet. just like when you lie, he thinks you look stunning when you refuse to give in.

“I hid it in the laundry room.”

he sits up a bit and looks down at you with narrowed eyes. “oh really?”

“uh huh.”

“and why’s that?”

the look on your face is lit up with sinister mischief, like you know your words will strike a chord inside of him. “needed to make sure it was in a place you don’t go very often.”

it’s obviously a jab with no real malicious intent (he’s very good about doing his laundry), but it has him playfully growling and pinning you beneath him once more.

“so that’s how it’s gonna be today, hm?”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

ahem. anyway. he is my everything and I would absolutely hide his things to keep him with me longer. inspired by me bc I have a horrible poker face. cannot lie without laughing to save my life.

@rrairey since this is the fic that one WIP came from I thought I’d tag you, hope that’s okay :3

@emmyrosee 🫶🏻🫶🏻

hope you enjoyed!

[dialovers-translations]

DIABOLIK LOVERS ZERO Animate Tokuten Drama CD “A Vampire’s Late Night Snack Terror” [Reiji ver.]

Original title: 夜更かしヴァンパイアの食テロ飯 [レイジ編]

Source: Diabolik Lovers ZERO Vol. 8 Animate Tokuten CD

Audio: Here

Seiyuu: Katsuyuki Konishi

Translator’s note: Honestly, Reiji deserves so much more respect than what he gets. Not only does this man get up early to get chores done because his other five brothers won’t do jack-shit, he even goes out of his way to do extra groceries and make a first-class breakfast for his girl. I feel like most of the other Diaboys could barely even toast a piece of bread without burning it lol. 

*Cling cling*

You enter the kitchen.

“...Hm? What is the matter? It is still too early to be getting up.” 

You ask him why he is up already.

“Unlike the other people at this home, I happen to have an extensive to-do list, so I must get started with all of my chores early, or else I will regret it afterwards. ーー More importantly, you mentioned something about not being able to sleep? If you are feeling unwell, I can get you some medicine.”

You explain.

“Do not tell me...You cannot sleep because of the hunger? How unfortunate...I cannot believe your stomach is growling despite getting three proper meals a day. You should know better.”

You apologize. 

“Well, I shall forgive you this once. I suppose it is partially my responsibility as well for not looking after you better. ーー I suppose it cannot be helped. We still have time before we have to leave to school, so I shall make you an early breakfast.”

You seem excited. 

“Yes. If you have any requests, go ahead. As you should be aware, I am quite confident in my own cooking abilities. No matter how complex or luxurious of a dish, I will prepare it to perfection. Well then, what is your order?”

You make your request.

“What did you...say just now?”

You repeat it.

“You are asking me to make...tamagogake-gohan, out of all things? You crack a raw egg (1) over the rice, add some soy sauce and you’re done. You want me to go out of my way to make something so simple?”

You ask him if he won’t make it. 

“No, I never said that I will not make it. ...Very well! I shall show you what a real plate of eggs over rice looks like!”

*Thud*

“In which case, we must first gathered the necessary ingredients. There is no time to lose! I shall call the limousine at once. Off we go!”

You seem surprised.

“What are you doing!? Come on, make haste!”

*TIMESKIP*

*Clatter clatter*

*Rustle*

“It is truly a blessing that there are stores which are still open in the middle of the night.”

You offer to pay for the parking fee since he has his hands full with the groceries.

“That would be a big help. This is the money. Here you go.”

 You ask Reiji what is inside the bags in his arms. 

“Excuse me? Can you not tell? They’re bags of rice. There’s high-quality rice inside.”

You seem surprised.

“You came along not even realizing why we took the car? Haah...You truly need to do something about how slow-witted you are. One cannot cook without the right ingredients, so we shall we going around to gather all of the necessary things. ーー The very best ones available!

Tamagogake-gohan consists of a perfectly balanced combination of eggs, soy sauce and rice with each ingredient being brought to its full potential. We cannot afford skimping on any of them. ...I happen to be a regular at this store, you see. The rice sold at this store has been selected by a rice connoisseur of which only a few exist in this country, so it is of the highest quality!”

You tilt your head to the side.

“You do not even know what a ‘rice connoisseur’ is...? Take should be common knowledge. Make sure to do your research afterwards, understood? Anyway, we are headed for the chicken farm next. I know it is quite late, but I am sure I can arrange something by using my connections.”

You frown.

“Why the hesitation? We are talking about the eggs which are the main star of the dish! I will not make any compromises!”

*Rustle*

“No more dawdling! Let’s go!”

*TIMESKIP*

The two of you return home.

*Thud*

“...Haah. That ended up taking more time than I anticipated.”

You admit being glad that you’re finally done. 

“What nonsense are you spouting? We finally gathered all necessary ingredients! If we’re ‘done’, why did we get these fresh ingredients in the first place? But we must make haste, or else the others will wake up.”

*Rustle*

“To the kitchen at once! We shall start cooking!”

The two of you go to the kitchen.

“We shall start by cooking the rice. I believe that I can skip over the instructions for this one.”

Reiji gets the rice cooker started. 

*Beep*

“Next we must choose which bowl to serve it in.”

You ask if that is important.

“Why of course. A high class meal is not only defined by the food itself. One must choose a plate which will truly bring the dish to life.” 

*Cling cling*

“Let me think...Usually I would go for something a little more ‘art nouveau’, but how about we use this bowl today? I am glad I decided to purchase this one for moments like this.”

You note that it is quite plain.

“What are you saying? A plain bowl is a fine piece of silverware as well! Just look at the gloss and pattern, simply marvelous!”

You raise one brow.

“Why are you giving me that look? I do understand that I might sound rather out-of-character right now, but look at it like this. I even went out of my way to buy a home-style takoyaki grill to hold a takoyaki party at home, so I must keep the name of the Sakamaki household high. ...More importantly, we should finish setting the table before the rice is done cooking. Well then, please lend me a hand.”

*TIMESKIP*

Reiji opens the rice cooker.

“It turned out rather nicely. The rice looks shiny and has the right amount of fluffiness to it. As to be expected of a dish made with a product from a true rice connoisseur!”

You point out that his glasses have fogged up. 

“Do not worry about my glasses being fogged up. It is only natural for this to happen when exposed to hot steam.”

*Cling cling*

“More importantly...Let us get started! ...Allow me to show you my skills! ーー I shall start by scooping the fluffy rice into the bowl. Rather than filling it to the brim, I will serve a moderate portion. This is the most elegant way to serve it. Then on top I will sprinkle some cod roe, dried seaweed and yuzu salt. ...It would be rather boring to stick to the basic recipe, no? This is my personal interpretation of the dish, do not worry. I can assure that it will taste sublime.”

He cracks an egg.

“Well then, last but not least we crack in a fresh, raw egg and pour some of this special soy sauce on top. ーー It is done. This is the Sakamaki household’s version of tamagogake-gohan!”

*Thud*

“Well then, here you go. Please dig in while it is hot.”

 You take a bite.

“How is it?”

You tell him that it’s delicious. 

“Why of course. It is a dish which was carefully crafted to bring out all of the aromas, flavors and textures to their fullest after all. The rich eggs and the deep flavor of the soy sauce go perfectly with the fluffy rice. However, right when you think that it might be a little blend and one-toned, the cod roe, seaweed and yuzu salt kick to add a new flavor profile so you never get tired of eating it. 

This is how tamagogake-gohan should be. Do you comprehend?”

You nod.

“Pleasing your palate is child’s play. ...Well then, usually I would go wake up the others around this hour, but I suppose we can postpone it a little for today.”

You ask Reiji if he will have breakfast as well.

“Yes, I figured this was a fine opportunity for me to enjoy a meal alongside you. You could say this is my award for all the hard work I put in. You do not mind, do you?”

He joins you at the table.

“Usually there is always someone making a fuss. I rarely ever get the chance to enjoy a meal in peace. In that regard, perhaps I should be grateful to you. However, make sure to warn me before you get peckish, okay?”

You nod.

“Very well. Let us dig in then.”

*Cling*

“...Mm. I suppose having a meal together with just the two of us like this is quite enjoyable every now and then.”

ーー THE END ーー

Translation notes

(1) Raw eggs are commonly consumed in Japan since the country has no history of salmonella being found in eggs. By cracking the egg on top of steaming-hot rice and instantly mixing it together, the heat from the rice will also slightly cook the egg, so it’s not 100% raw when you eat it. Still, the consistency of the dish is quite ‘goopy’ - for lack of a better word - so I understand why a lot of people (myself included) would not find it very appetizing. :p

[ilwonuu]

Taeyong angst with comfort where reader is in the wrong ??

yes yes of course anon!!! thank you for your request!!! love uuu hope u enjoy<3

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚ through it ⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚

↴ lee taeyong

♡ﾟ･｡｡･ﾟ♡ﾟ･｡♥｡･ﾟ♥ ♥︎･｡♥︎｡･ﾟ♡ﾟ･｡｡･ﾟ♡

❧ summary- you were having a bad day. you undeservingly take it out on your boyfriend.

❧ warnings- fighting, ignores ty (girl how), fluff

❧ a/n- i know y/n is kinda annoying in this bc who tf has the audacity to be rude to taeyong… not me!!!

˚ ༘♡ ·˚ ₊˚ˑ༄ؘ ˚ ༘♡ ·˚ ₊˚ˑ༄ؘ ˚ ༘♡ ·˚ ₊˚ˑ༄ؘ ˚ ༘♡ ·˚ ₊˚ˑ༄ؘ

you and taeyong usually handle your conflicts pretty easily. the two of you almost never fighting with eachother. you two never wanting to have problems. this time was different.

you and taeyong had gotten into a heated argument about you current mood. you don’t why but today every last thing is getting on your nerves. you don’t want to be around anyone. taeyong tried to talk to you in the morning when you got up. you quickly shut him out.

he doesn’t say anything the first time you ignored him but the second time he questioned you. “what’s wrong y/n? you know we don’t do this.” he asks you from the bathroom.

“i don’t want to talk to you.” you say not even looking his way. continuing to do what you were. “what?” he is now coming into your bed room to talk to you. “did you not hear me the first time?” you look at him with a straight face. “yea i heard you? i don’t understand why you don’t want to talk to me.” he looks at you upset now too. “taeyong please! i don’t need this right now just please leave me alone.” you sighed laying back in bed facing away from him.

“fuck. okay whatever ill leave you alone.” taeyong leaves the bedroom. you hear some shuffling then your front door. which means your boyfriend has left. the thought now causing you to sigh again.

you don’t have a single idea as to why you’re treating him like this. you two have never been like this towards each other. aka you have never been so bitchy. you didn’t feel good but that wasn’t his fault. you are starting to feel guilty about your behavior.

salty tears filling your eyes as you lay in bed. you get up to go to the bathroom washing your face of the tears. you lay back in bed falling asleep shortly after.

—

you wake up from your nap a few hours later. you don’t feel much better than earlier but you definitely know you need to talk to your boyfriend. you look next to you to see the bed empty. you get out of bed making your way to the living room.

you see taeyong laying on the couch watching tv quietly. you give him a glance making your way to get some water. you take a sip of your water before going over to him.

“tae? can we talk..?” you ask him sitting next to him. he looks at you for a moment nodding his head a little. he sits up to look at you.

“baby im sorry. i don’t know why i was acting like that earlier. you didn’t deserve that.” you sigh going to grab his hand. “im really sorry baby.” you say again. he pulls you into a hug. “babe it’s okay. it hurt my feelings but im feeing better now.

“i know tae and im so sorry. i never want to hurt your feelings.” he smiles giving you a quick kiss. “okay well i forgive you because i love you.” he says giving you another kiss.

“i love you too tae.” you hug him again. and he pulls you to lay on him. he cuddles you softly. you two smiling at each other.

“should we order some food baby?” you ask him suddenly. he nods quickly. “i’m starving. i didn’t want to eat without you. i couldn’t.” he sighs. “babe im sorry.” you say sighing. “let’s order takeout and watch movies okay? i promise not to be like that again.” you kiss his cheek smiling.

you and taeyong spend the rest of the night cuddling up with eachother watching movies eating take out.

[aphverse-confessions]

Yes, Zane is a bad person who is responsible for his own atrocities, this is not up for debate.

However, around season two or so, Zane is suddenly the sole reason anything bad ever happens in O'khasis. Regardless of time period or logic or evidence of involvement, everything is pinned on Zane.

Zane Ro'meave who has effectively been dead for fifteen years.

Zane is responsible for the war with Tu'la because Janus decided to terrorize the countryside during Zane's absence. It's implied that Janus was doing this of their own free will and not on orders, and its highly likely Zane didn't even know about it considering he was inanother dimension, but Janus is one of the subordinates who actually likes Zane so it's like Zane was doing it personally.

Zane is responsible for the O'khasis invasion because the Tu'la king wanted Zane's relic notes for his own use and Ivy sold them out. Which is like arresting the victim of a home invasion for having personal possessions that could attract robbers.

Somehow, Garte's actions as lord and generally shitty dude behavior are because??? Even though we previously established that Garte lost his humanity due to an illness at a time where Zane was still young enough to be groomed into the position of Garte's favorite pawn??? Sure, the grown man in the most powerful position in the region is the victim in this scenario.

If you think I'm exaggerating here is a transcript from a scene in ep 43 where Aph's eavesdropping on a group of locals discussing the situation with the Ro'Meaves after all of the sons died (for context Garte was in charge of O'khasis in s1):

OldGeezer: Hm, your son reminds me of Garte's oldest boy.

Father: Yeah, well, I take that as a compliment. I remember the Lord's son well.

OldGeezer: Such a shame... Lord Garte has been more secluded since before he lost his sons...

Father: Have they been pronounced dead? It's been more than fifteen years.

OldGeezer: The one with the brown hakr was pronounced dead long before the other two vanished.

Father: ...I don't feel as bad for Lord Garte as I fee for Lady Zianna... she was a wonderful mother to her sons..

Old Geezer: Agreed. Even the adopted one. she deserved a better man than Garte became.

Father: How's m'lady doing? Has anyone heard from her?

OldGeezer: She's silent... she rarely leaves her chambers. Understandably, since Garte is continuing his march on the region soon...

Father: ...I never liked the image O'khasis gave off to others. Why can't we advocate for peace?

OldGeezer: The world is changing. Lord Garte is not. O'khasis used to have great power over others.

Father: ...I don't want my son growing up in a place where we can not progress because of our Lord's selfish choices.

OldGeezer: ...y'know if you leave O'khasis for another village, you won't find a place that's safe from O'khasis itself.

Father: That's why I haven't left sooner.

Aph: Wow... I would think after 15 years at this place... after 15 years of having Zane gone this place might've become something else but I guess who... if Lord Garte is in charge now. That's Garroth's father.

On one hand, it does make sense why Aph would assume everything is somehow connected to Zane, since that's basically what happened in season one. It is in character for her to be negatively biased towards Zane, who she knows, as opposed to Janus/Tu'la/Garte, who she's never met before.

But Aph's objectively wrong takes are treated as fact by both the narrative and characters who personally knew both Zane and Garte, including the rest of the Ro'Meaves. And not in an examination of the Ro'Meave family's toxic dynamics way its exclusively to uncritically villianize Zane.

Like, bro has already cursed a baby you don't have to retroactively make him this evil from birth demon who's mere existance ruins the lives of everyone he comes in contact with. It's bad writing and it cheapens the Ro'Meave family storyline.

.

[dontexpectmuch]

omg the jamal x phonzy's sister reader imagine is so good!! i can't wait for part two

pt. II

-

well, tomorrow did arrive faster than you’d thought, but you really weren’t sure whether the situation got better or not.

your brother behaved like he normally did, never mentioning yesterday’s talk. just joking around with his friends, talking about today’s match and what not. him and jamal were as comfortable as usual, phonzy even included you into the conversation.

though, you felt the tension between you and jamal grow, as you didn’t reply to the text messages he has had sent you last night, also you haven’t talked to him as much. you knew that it was unfair, that it wasn’t his fault and that talking it out would be better than just to ignore the situation, but you were scared.

what would you even say?

‘oh, yeah my brother found out that i have a crush on you and told me to back off kinda and i’m also pretty sure that you don’t feel the same and that’s why i’m ignoring you, but good luck today!”

yeah, no. you couldn’t do that. so, not talking to him was the safer option, to you at least.

however, it seems like jamal has other plans, catching you off guard as he pulls you into an empty room a few minutes before the warm up session started.

“did something happen?” he cut straight to the point, his warm hand never leaving you wrist. his grip was gentle, sending butterflies to your stomach.

“huh?” you didn’t know what to stay, clearing your throat while searching for the right words to explain what had happened.

“you know what i mean, du kannst es mir sagen, i’ll help wherever i can.” he continues, melting your sorrows away with his kind words.

you really don’t deserve him, do you?

“let’s talk after the game?” you try to get out of this situation, though the look on jamals face tells you that he wouldn’t budge until you answered him.

“i won’t be able to concentrate, bitte.” his voice is laced with desperation, he even steps closer to you, his eyes never leaving yours.

your breath hitches in your throat, telling him would put an end to all of this. you really didn’t have a choice.

“i like you.” you tell him straightforward, face stern.

there, you said it. you confessed. you felt like jumping around, giggling and kicking your feet. but, jamal stood in front of you, so you’d have to do that after he left.

“like, do you mean, like for real?” his eyes resembled the ones of bambi, another reason why his nickname suited him perfectly. his hand moved from your wrist to you hand, enclosing it and squeezing it ever so lightly, as if to check whether this was real or not.

“yeah, i really like you, apparently phonzy knew. he told me that he doesn’t want this and, i guess, just, i think i was just really sad, you know?” you try to explain, sighing as your eyes now shift to your hands, squeezing his hand back.

jamal stood still for a fee seconds, making you regret confessing to him. did you ruin your friendship?

“i, wow, i also really like you, i just, i thought you didn’t like me like that.” he replied, a smile adoring his lips, his eyes shining like stars.

hearing his words made you really happy, they made you feel giddy, mushy and warm inside.

but…

you shake your head lightly and pull your hand out of his, facing reality, “phonzy would never approve and i don’t want to hide anything from him, that wouldn’t end well.”

“can i be your boyfriend?” was all jamal said, not paying attention to your words.

“jamal, did you hear what i just said? we cant-“

he interrupted you, repeating his words. “please, let me be your boyfriend, i’ll talk to phonzy, trust me.”

“but,” you begin, inhaling deeply. you also want to be with him. this is your life, your decision to make only, “okay.” you agree, nodding as a small smile dances on your lips.

jamal giggled ever so cutely, kissing your cheek, “i have to go now, don’t worry, ‘kay? and cheer for me.”

“i’ll cheer louder than anyone.” you nodded, tilting your head.

“i bet you will.”

after kissing your cheek for the last time, jamal quickly walked to the field, warming up with the others as you moved to your seat, right next to the bench the players would sit at.

throughout the entire game you cheered for your brother and your boyfriend, eyes never leaving his figure as he runs across the field. yes, you were still overthinking everything that happened, praying that it would end well, but you also couldn’t help but feel happy and relieved, even.

jamal also liked you, he asked you to be your boyfriend, he believed in your relationship.

after the game, with bayern winning of course, phonzy, jamal and you drove back to your place, wanting to celebrate the win together with a nice movie night. the entire time, whether it was in the car or in the living room, whenever jamal was somehow close to you, you felt like giggling and wrapping yourself around his figure. yet, with your brother also being present, you had to hold yourself back, while also behaving like you just didn’t go behind his back and officially got together with his best friend.

apparently jamals patience ran thin, as he spoke up about it as soon as you guys sat down with snacks.

“phonzy.” he begins, voice serious and eyebrows furrowed. “we’re together. i really like her and she also likes me, and i know you don’t want us to, but, just give us the chance to prove-“

“i knew that it would happen.” your brother interrupts your boyfriend, sitting up and putting down his bowl of chips. “even though i told you not to, i also knew that i couldn’t stand between you forever. just promise me that you’ll be mature, or whatever.”

tears filled up your eyes, as you jump out of your place to hug your brother tightly.

“thank you.” you whispered into his ear, mirroring the smile on his face.

“no funny business, though.” he looks at your boyfriend, finger pointed at him.

jamal only puts up his hands, kind of defending himself. though, his smile also reached his eyes that met yours, happy to have your brothers blessings.

today actually got better.

——————————

i rushed it, but i genuinely didn’t know how to end everything and so on. hope you still like it!!!

(didn’t proofread)

[tealquil]

“Reid. A word. NOW.” The familiar and gruff voice of the Leader of the Guard demanded the Ekon’s attention.

Jonathan did his best not to visibly react, even if those words always filled him with dread. What did Geoffrey feel he deserved now. Last time the Irishman started a conversation with him like this the Leader of the Guard informed Priwen’s ‘pet Leeech’ that he had under-performed one too many times during training sessions and as punishment he was to help train the new chaplains. The burns they had given him lasted almost a week last time. Considering his healing ability, a scar that lasted a week was something of a serious injury.

“Geoffrey… Sir, to what do I owe the pleasure of your visit tonight.” He did his best to keep his tone even. It was later in the night than he would have usually gotten up. Somehow the Ekon had over slept and he would rather collect his blood ration before his shift started.

The Leader of the Guard folded his arms across his chest, the near permanent scowl on his face seeming to depend as he stated matter of factly “One of the Guard’s senior members overheard you talking with Liam last night. Apparently you were unhappy with your assignment?”

Fuck… he had noticed Christopher Mooney walk past when he was talking with Liam but he hoped Priwen’s third in command hadn’t overheard him . He knew that anything remotely negative that he said about Priwen was likely to get him reassigned to sewer duty or worse, having new chemical weapons tested on him. Doing his best to avoid angering the Irishman, Jonathan quickly thought of an explaination “Well… Yes but I was mostly being over dramatic because I was tired. If I had a problem I would tell you…”

“Oh really?” McCullum asked, raising an eyebrow. His tone showed that he didn’t quiet believe what the Ekon said, although for McCullum that wasn’t entirely unusual. He never seemed to believe anything Jonathan said, it always felt like the Irishman was testing him somehow, just waiting for him to slip up.

Jonathan nodded his head silently, not wanting to say anything that would get him in anymore trouble than he already was.

Geoffrey scoffed as he continued realising quickly that Jonathan was choosing to remain silent “Mooney told me that you were complaining about your assignment and how much you felt it put you in danger. As Leader of the Guard I need to know that all of my recruits feels safe.”

Reid wanted to laugh. Thankfully, he knew better than to laugh at someone who was always looking to stake him at a moments notice. Instead he shook his head, lying to protect himself as he replied “I believe that Mr Mooney must have misheard me.”

“Then I’ll ask Liam Davies what the two of you were talking about.” The Irishman challenge, he knew that Liam wouldn’t lie to him. He was too much of a kiss arse for that, even if he was one of the few friends that Reid had made within the Guard.

That made the Ekon falter, he opened his mouth, almost immediately asking Geoffrey not to ask Liam, but that would look suspicious. He closed his mouth and hung his head replying simply, hoping that he could call the other hunters bluff “Whatever you feel is necessary sir.”

McCullum slapped his hands down on the desk as he snapped “You’re holding out on me, Reid. I want the truth now.”

Once again, Jonathan debated lying to the Leader of the Guard… But that wasn’t a good idea considering the man could stake him if he suddenly deemed the vampire to be a threat “Fine… I was complaining about the mission… I came very close to having my throat torn out by a Vulkod… Sending me on these sorts of missions alone is dangerous… Even though I can heal most wounds and I’m faster than the human recruits I still have physical limits.”

This was the first time the that Leech had spoken openly, his expression showed that he was anxious about how what he said would be taken. But in all honesty Geoffrey would rather Jonathan be able to speak to him freely and challenge him should he feel the need “Then why didn’t you refuse the mission or ask for backup.”

Jonathan shook his head as he mumbled “You really don’t get it… do you…”

For a moment the Irishman was silent, raising a curious eyebrow.

As the Ekon’s frustration spiked he snapped at the other man “Everynight I wake up knowing that if I offend you I won’t live to see sunrise. Everynight I salute and agree to whatever you say because I know that if you see me as a threat you’ll end that threat as every member of the Guard is trained to do.” Red tears were welling behind Reid’s eyes and rolling down his cheeks as he continued to rant, suddenly unable to stop “I work every night, doing whatever you ask of me without question because if I don’t I could be labelled as a threat and hunted by my so called ‘colleauges’… The fact is Geoffrey, I know that I am a means to an end, as soon as we find and kill my sire I know I’m next for the stake.”

McCullum listened surprised. Was this really how the Ekon felt about his role with Priwen? How-… How aweful! To think that he was going to be killed every night if he made a mistake, everyone made mistakes, even Geoffrey himself. Had-… Had the Leader of the Guard not proved to Priwen’s pet leech that he trusted him yet?

Swallowing thickly the Leader of the Guard said “I’m not going to kill you because you voiced concerns about how dangerous a mission may be. Nor will I kill you for fucking something up. What I will kill you for if hunting humans, preying on our boys for blood and using your position within the Guard to harm humans… Reid.,..” he took in a slow deep breath through his nose before letting it out slowly “Reid… You’re one of us. I-… I’m sorry if I hadn’t made that clear to you already, you can say no, you can ask for back-up… Hell you can ask for a night off if you bloody well need it…”

Was-… Was this real? Geoffrey never lied to him, strangely, so this had to be true “I-… I don’t know what to say,” Jonathan could barely believe it. The Leader of the Guard trusted him, really?

“You’re not like the Leeches on the streets, Jonathan and you’re not like the bastard that murdered you. I’m not going to kill you for something you have no control over. Your sire attacked you, you’re a victim. When we find and end him you’ll still be free to continue working with us.” Geoffrey clarified.

[slxughterhaus]

.::. CALL IT AMBITION .::. Silvaine "Silkie" Harker

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NAME: SILVAINE HARKER ALIASES: SILKIE, SIL, MRS. HARKER, THE GORGON AGE: 36 YEARS OLD. [SEPTEMBER 20TH] GENDER/PRONOUNS: CIS WOMAN SHE/HER SEXUALITY: PANSEXUAL // PANROMANTIC (FEMME PRESENTING PREFERENCE) // OPEN MARRIAGE HUMAN // HOST: HUMAN OCCUPATION: HOST OF THE HOLO-SHOW "SLAUGHTERHAUS!!!" AND 'SEMI RETIRED' COWGIRL- LESS RETIRED THAN HER HUSBAND. AFFILIATIONS: NONE, BUT SHE'S BEEN KNOWN TO TAKE MORE THAN A FEW SPONSORSHIPS FROM ANYBODY WILLING TO OFFER HER A SHINY NEW GUN.

.::. TRAUMA QUEEN .::. going deeper.

PERSONALITY: SHORT-TEMPERED AND CUTTHROAT, SILVANE HARKER IS LUCKY SHE'S PRETTY. A COLD CALCULATING WOMAN HIDDEN UNDER THE GLITTER AND PINK HUES OF THE 'BETTER HALF' OF THE SLAUGHTERHAUS HOSTS, SILKIE IS, UNLIKE HER HUSBAND, CAPABLE OF RECOGNIZING WHEN OTHERS ARE IN PAIN, IT IS, IN FACT, HER BELIEFS THAT THOSE WHO SUFFER DESERVE IT FOR ONE REASON OR ANOTHER, THAT MAKES HER SO DANGEROUS. A VICIOUS COWGIRL IN HER YOUNGER YEARS, BOUNTIES DEEMED 'TOO HEINOUS' WERE SIMPLY KILLED OUTRIGHT- A WARNING TO OTHERS IN HER TERRITORY AND VIGILANTISM A STEP ABOVE WHAT HER JOB TITLE SUGGESTED. NOW FAMOUS WITH THE KIND OF INFLUENCE MOST COULD ONLY DREAM OF, SHE'S USED THIS POSITION TO DISPLAY A SURPRISING KINDNESS TOWARD OTHERS- RUMORS ABOUND OF HER RIGGING THE GAME IN FAVOR OF THOSE SHE DEEMS 'DESERVING' OF A WIN. THOUGH SURELY THIS IS CONJECTURE.

AESTHETIC: PRETTY MANICURED NAILS SLICKED RED GRIPPING THE TRIGGER OF A SNIPER RIFLE PAINTED PINK AND BEDAZZLED WITH CRYSTALS || THE TENUOUS GRIP ON A DELICATE LEASH; WHICH OF YOU IS THE BEAST? || THE EGO UNFETTERED BY THE ID, CALCULATING AND COLD. || A SLY, LITHE LITTLE STREET CAT OF A THING. YOU EARNED THIS. FUCK ANYBODY YOU STEPPED ON TO GET HERE.

KNOWN CYBERWARE: CITED IN MOST OF HER INTERVIEWS AS SAYING 'GOD MADE ME PRETTY' IN ARGUMENT AGAINST ANY SUBSTANTIAL COSMETIC CYBERWARE, SILKIE'S AUGMENTATIONS SEEM ENTIRELY RELATED TO COMBAT; DUAL OCCULAR IMPLANTS, MANTIS-STYLE BLADES INSTALLED IN BOTH ARMS, STABALIZERS IN HER HANDS AND SMART-LINKS FOR THE USE OF GUNS, SHE IS HEAVILY AUGMENTED- SIMPLY GOOD AT DISGUISING IT.

HISTORY: PLEASE PAY THE 10000 YEN FEE FOR ACCESS TO SEALED RECORDS THROUGH THE SLAUGHTERHAUS!!! FAN CLUB! [Input Payment Information]

[Plaintext Doc for mobile friends here!]

.::. CUTTHROAT & I FEEL BETTER .::. connections.

BETTING ON THE RIGHT HORSE: For any given reason- you found yourself as a contestant on SLAUGHTERHAUS!!! and for a different- or perhaps, that exact reason- you were handed the keys to victory. Silvaine herself has taken a shine to you, maybe your story was appropriately heart-wrenching to break through the cutthroat veneer, maybe you simply displayed a willingness to survive in the face of death she respects- for whatever reason, you're all but promised a victory now, but that doesn't promise a lack of suffering to achieve it- she's told you how to win- her demands are only that you don't disappoint her. can be for a former contestant as well, now grappling with the knowledge their victory was all but ensured and the people who died in your stead were never going to have a chance.

BABY I'M GODLESS: A more involved exes connection than the additional connections, this ex was a former lover in America prior to the Harkers transferring to japan 15 years ago, when Silkie was 21. You assumed the two of you were a match made in heaven- she was beautiful and smart, with a wicked wit and the fire to match, and you thought she only had eyes for you. It's sudden, the declaration she and her bounty hunting partner are moving to Japan for 'bigger takes and better opportunities'- and the mention that she's willing to let you come along- like an afterthought. Things fall apart then and there, or perhaps they limp along once you arrive in Japan- once Silkie and Odd become The Harkers spitting in the face of what you and Silkie had- or at least, what you thought you'd had. If she feels any guilt for breaking your heart, you don't know. She's had security bum rush you every time you tried to ask... until now.

BLACK SWAN: Silkie wanted fame, fortune, and power- and so did you. At first, you were friends but that didn't last long. now enemies competing for the same sponsorships and commercial deals, you've fallen behind in the face of her willingness to play utterly filthy, sabotage and espionage are simply tools she brings to every audition, and even now with the cushy host position of a TV show built exactly for her kind of malicious view of who deserves what, her 'survival of the fittest' perception remains squarely leveled at your head. In her mind, the two of you are competitors, and she's simply bested you more times, and her cruelty is not bad blood, simply what the fame machine calls for- but she's crushed your dreams under a neat, stiletto heel- enough times that revenge is the neon sign lit in the back of your mind.

ADDITIONAL CONNECTIONS

Exes: She's got a thousand of them, and not many are fond of her.

Arms Dealers/Companies: She's your murder doll- taking sponsorships to shill your weapons and put down contestants who 'cheat' with a dolled up smile and your logo on full display.

former friends from her time in America, up until 15 years ago.

Cowboys who would know her and Odd from their time as an active duo of bounty hunters.

Fans: She's famous, after all! and SLAUGHTERHAUS!!! has been around for a solid 9 years, streaming all the carnage you could ask for every tuesday and thursday straight to your waiting eyes~

Family: While she doesn't have any siblings, she could easily have aunts, uncles, cousins, or even her parents present.

[carnivorousyandeere]

Wait a minute, did I remember to ask for possessive/jellous headcanons for the librarian, Felicity? (Dyslexia hates this name /lh) if nit I simply must! A librarian cat has ti be an interesting person when jealous!

Also hi! Hope you're doing well after the while sick thing

Also got cowgirl brainrot, but thats for later ;3c

Thank you, Alice~! I’m doing much better now. Hope you’re doing well, too ☺️ (You can also call her Fee or Fifi, if it helps any— she’d be over the moon to receive a cute nickname from her Darling~)

Felicity is an incredibly shy and skittish person, the type of yan who quietly follows her Darling for at least a few months before she even thinks of trying to speak to them. Especially when you’re in the library she works at— Felicity’s heart races every time you come in. She follows you throughout the building, keeping just a few shelves’ distance between you, trying not to hyperventilate at your closeness.

And the whole time, her jealousy eats her alive.

Every time you need help finding something in the library, and she’s too shy to offer to help, she grits her teeth and clenches her fists until her nails or cat claws dig into her palms, watching as one of her coworkers helps you instead. Felicity will use her jobs as a way to follow you— if you frequent a different library or bookstore, she’ll apply there instead. And she follows you outside of work, too, a jealous and silently-seething shadow you can never quite get a good look at.

Felicity had really only taken the position as a librarian to pay rent and fill time. Her real passion lies in writing. Throughout the first few weeks of following you, she manages to write novel-length romantic adventures with you and her as the leads— saving each other from dragons and loveless engagements to other people— but as time wears on, and her sleepless nights stretch on to write and watch you sleep, her pen slows.

Fee isn’t much for technology, barely tolerating the old desktops of the library and the one in her house that she uses to finalize manuscripts. Her writing is contained in notebooks upon notebooks, red and pink cursive filling the pages with a passionate slant. The longer she watches you, sees you interacting with other people, the more her stories begin to include the suffering she wishes would befall anyone else who gets too close to you. She fills pages upon pages of wishing those others were dead in the dirt for daring to disgrace your mind with their empty words and lay their filthy hands on your perfect form. She doesn’t deserve you— but neither do they.

Other pages are simply filled with your name, scrawled over and over again, increasingly messily.

One day she breaks down, thinking of the way you’d smiled at someone else yet again. Her pen breaks from her grip, ink soaking into the pages of her beloved notebook. Felicity sobs once, then twice, tears plopping onto the already ruined pages. Her claws tear at the edges of the notebook. She finds that she can’t write much at all for a while after that, even with a new notebook.

She wishes you would just smile at her like that, just once. Then she would be satisfied— not like those other greedy people, who steal so much of your time and attention.

But of course, one smile and one moment could never truly be enough for her, either.

~~~~

Felicity is not the type to confront her rivals directly. Mostly, she will write about them dying in increasingly horrible ways with that morbid enthusiasm of hers, then write you and her living happily ever after, opting to stay in a beautiful fantasy world rather than confront reality. That won’t satisfy her jealousy forever, though. She’s the type to begin to stalk people close to you, too, and she’ll begin to blackmail them and leave them threatening letters to get them to stay away from you. Even though she feels she can’t have you, that she doesn’t deserve you, she can certainly make sure that nobody else can have you either.

[bks-blogs]

And This Year's Easter Bunny Is...

(One-Shot 101DS Easter Fanfic)

Rating: All ages

Genre: Slice-of-life, Humor,

Content Warnings: Some slight public humiliation on a certain fox wearing a bunny suit

Summary: Fergus had just lost a bet over who gets to wear the Easter Bunny costume for the Dalmatian family with Dylan and Dolly. He thought his sly-fox tricks could help him avoid such defeat, only for the two top dogs to trick him into outsmarting himself. Now, poor Fergus has to face reality, not to mention the sheer amount of embarrassment he's about to meet when he slips into that bunny suit.

A one-shot 101DS fanfic made for the 101DS fandom to celebrate Easter with.

It didn't have to come to this... 

But it did. Of all the innocent animals in the world to suffer the impending torture before them, it had to be Fergus. It was that very moment where the universe had come to punish him for his mere existence...

Fergus had no other mere options left but to pray that all of this was just a living nightmare that he desperately wishes to wake up from. Unfortunately for him, this is a reality he's forced to face. A cruel, soul-less, unforgiving reality that dropped in on his doorstep to smite the poor innocent fox with its twin sickles of punishment, and now he was forced to meet with the inevitable.

Oh, how Fergus wished Officer Pearl would trot in, pluck him straight from the ground and lock him in the slammers to relief him of this world-crumbling defeat! At least it would've been a better fate than this.

Why? Why!? Mother of P.C. Pearl, what did I ever do to deserve this!? Why!?

Was all that Fergus could think about in his feeble mind. The never-ending cries of "Why" echoed in his thoughts, over and over again for what seemed like a millennium. Oh, how fate had conspired against poor Fergus, starting with two, young canines, spotted in black...

"Ha ha! You just got Doll-i-nated, fox breath!" The voice of Dolly was heard, as the female Dalmatian pumped out her fists in triumph.

"As much as I find your pun lacking in originality sis, you are so right! You can't touch us when me and my sis act as one. Really Fergus, I thought you knew that by now." Dylan added, feeling smug and confident about outnumbering the fox from a hundred-one to one with their brilliant minds and teamwork.

This was probably the most uncomfortable feeling in the world, knowing that he has been outsmarted by Dylan and Dolly... or in this case, himself. And on Easter on the first Sunday of April! Of all days to be utterly humiliated in!

Fergus the fox had placed Dylan and Dolly in a bet to test the limits of his cunning mind, only to unwittingly end up outsmarting himself, thanks to the low, limited I.Q. that the fox possessed. The only true weakness of his thieving and cunning mind that leaves him vulnerable to gullibility. The loser has to dress up as the Easter Bunny in front of the entire Dalmatian family to see and this year, Fergus is the loser with a capital "L".

"Can you believe that this guy walked right into his own bait?" Dolly sniggered.

"It seems as though that this dumb fox is not as sly as he thinks he is", Dylan concurred.  "So much for your title as a sly, cunning, smooth-talkin' fox, eh Fergus?" He flashes Fergus a cocky grin.

The fox could only sit there, ears flattened and eyes narrowed, giving that familiar look of un-amusement when something doesn't work in his favor, as he's forced to listen to the two step-siblings do their celebratory gloating, all the while rubbing their victory in his foxy face. Even his members, Sid and Big Fee could only sit idly by and look at Fergus questioningly, as they know the whole bet was his own fault.

"Hey, bro. Does that look on Fergus' face tell you anything?~" Dolly said, with her tone full of sass as she smirked at Fergus' unamused expression.

"Why yes, Dolly. That there is the pure look of "Wow! You D-dawgs got me good! Looks like I'm your Easter Bunny for this year, now hand me that bunny suit!" Dylan replied, while shifting his ears to resemble Fox-ears, mimicking Fergus and pulling off the best Irish-accent he could muster. 

"You know what we're talking about, right pal~?" He said, flashing him the cockiest of smirks.

"Urrrrgghhh!" Fergus growled, pulling his ears down in frustration, humiliated over his own stupidity.

"I don't understand! My bet was absolute FOOL-PROOF!! How did you and D-dawg even manage to sidestep that one!?"

"Err... Actually, mate...", Sid interjected, trying not to rub salt into the wounds of Fergus' defeat.

"Not to hold it against ya for it, but your bet.... how do I put it lightly... had holes in it. Probably more than Diesel... can... dig?" He nervously twiddled his tiny squirrel paws, smiling sheepishly at the foxy leader who shot his daggers at him.

"Not ta mention that it doesn't take an idjeot human to find an empty spot in ye bet." Big Fee added, rolling her eyes at her boss' sheer idiocy.

Fergus could only growl at the two traitorous Canal Dwellers for not defending him, but deep down, he knew that Sid and Big Fee were right. And all he could do was kick himself for lacking the basic knowledge to think through with his bet.

"Oh! Hey, Dylan. Why don't we pick the one that Triple D made?"

"That one? As in the one that Destiny put her love in every stitch in? That bunny suit? Oooohh-ho-ho, you are so mean today, sis!"

Dylan goes into closet to rummage for the said, specific bunny suit of which Dolly described. Fergus wished he could get a better peak on what Triple D's bunny suit would look like if the dorky Dalmatian's butt wasn't blocking the view.

"I'd better look cool in Triple D's fashion wear D-dawg, cuz otherwise, you're gonna be dealing with one anti-chill fox in this neighborhood!"

Dylan comes back out, holding the bunny suit that Fergus would be wearing in his mouth.

The suit was even worse than Fergus could even imagine. It was a pink bunny suit, stitched with different shades of pink fabric, with a blue bow ribbon wrapped around the neck, with the bow located on the back of the suit. Two, big, poofy pink ears sprouted from the hood in all of it's poofy, bunny glory. The white, fluffy bunny tail looked as though it was big enough for Fergus' fluffy tail to fit in. And to make matters worse... It was about the same size as the humiliated fox himself. 

Everything about the bunny suit from the pink fabric, the bow-ribbon, and the adorable design and the toddler-like cuteness in every stitch was the exact opposite what Fergus envisioned.

And that fact he is forced to wear such a pink-stitched abomination added the additional embarrassment to Fergus' already blushing cheeks.

"Okay, Fergus. Put on the bunny suit", the smug stepbrother instructed.

"Ooohh-ho-hooooo, no! D-dawg, you are crazier than your sister, if you think I'm slipping into that thing!" Fergus replied.

"C'mon, Fergus. A bet is a bet~", Dylan said with more sass in his tone, while taunting his foxy friend by dangling the bunny suit in front of his face just to annoy him even further

"Plus, you can't deny that Destiny has a real knack for stitching."

"No way! Forget it! I ain't touchin' that bunny suit, let alone breathe on it. Heck, I wouldn't even use that thing for a pair of jammies, and there ain't nothing you D-dawgs can do to change my mind!" Fergus retorted, standing his ground in refusal to wear the costume. He  crossed his forelegs and shut his eyes, refusing to even look at the costume.

Sadly for him, he probably should've learned by now that Dolly was the unpredictable type.

"Y'know, Fergus. Our family really looks up to you. Our real hero, a fearless, tough-as-nails fox with a heart of steel! Even Dizzy and Dee Dee admire you! Would it be soooo heartbreaking if anyone were to tell them that the so-called "Tall Tales of Fergus Fox" were all lies made by a certain fox whose ego is bigger than his brain?" 

She looks deep into Fergus, making the biggest, saddest, weepy eyes she could with those big eyes of hers.

Fergus recoiled; his eyes widened in panic at his tall tales suddenly being brought up in a negative light. The fact that Dolly is taking advantage of Fergus' own blackmailing tactics and using it against him was almost degrading.

"W-wot!? Dolly, don't ya dare bring your siblings into this! My Tall tales are legitimate, and you and Dyl know it!!"

"Riiiiggghht. The keyword being 'tall'", Dylan added, cockily.

"Oh, I can just hear the cries of sorrow of a hundred, sad, heartbroken puppies!"

Then, Dolly proceeded to mimic each crying pup, putting her best effort in sounding genuine and heartbreaking as possible.

"Oh, how could you lie to us, Fergus?" Dolly howled. "We thought you were our hero!"

Oof! Blackmail AND guilt tripping. 

"Ooh, she's got ya right there, mate," Sid chimed in.

Dolly goes on mimicking each young sibling with dramatic fashion.

"Fergus' stories were fake!? Our hero is a fraud!!"

"Oh, Ferguuuuus!! You are sooooo horrible!! We trusted you, Fergus!!"

It had became increasingly obvious that Dolly was pushing every nerve at Fergus to get him to wear the bunny suit. Fergus had doubted that the siblings wouldn't be that hurt when they hear that his tall tail stories weren't true.

"You're so meeeaaan, Fergus!! Why would you do that!?"

And yet, he could only imagine the looks of shame on the young Dalmatians' faces, especially Dizzy and Dee Dee when they found out that his tall tales were fake.

Fergus tried to shake these thoughts of a hundred siblings crying because of his lies and struggled to keep under the sheer pressure of his usually chill composure, but Dolly's theatrics were only feeding into those thoughts of those sad Dalmatians more and more.

"DYYYYYLLLAAAANNN!!!" Dolly continued on howling.

"Fergus lied to us!! Why would he do that to us!? We thought he was our frieeeennnndddd!!" 

Dylan could only snort and giggle at Dolly's overdramatic display, as he struggled hold back his contained laughter.

"FINE!!! I'LL DO IT!!" Fergus snapped, his snippy tone being evident that he was fed up with Dolly's overbearing antics. 

And as if a switch was flipped, Dolly dropped her melodramatic act and flashed Fergus a smug, toothy grin. "I knew you'd care, foxy.~"

Letting out a huff, the reluctant fox storms over to Dylan, who's holding the bunny suit out for him to take.

"Gimme that stupid lifeless rabbit skin!"

He swipes the said bunny suit from Dylan's paws, receiving a chuckle from Dylan in response. 

He went behind the couch to use for privacy and proceeded to stuff himself into the rabbit suit. All the while, the two stepsiblings and the two Canal dwellers could hear the disgruntled fox cursing and muttering underneath his breath.

"Raggin' fraggin' Dolly and her stupid... bratty attitude, and that stupid D-dawg, and this... stupid raggin' fraggin' naggin' bunny suit!!" Fergus grumbled furiously as he struggled to get his four paws into the costume. 

After a bit of effort of fitting all of them into each limb of the pink-stitched piece of fabric, he steps back out from behind the couch to show Dylan and Dolly in his rabbit attire, in full display.

"There! You D-dawgs happy now?" Fergus said, his tone clearly dripping of annoyance.

The two top dogs of course were impressed over how Fergus looked, dressing up as a pink bunny. They expected Fergus to look ridiculous with the Easter Bunny get-up, but not to this extent. Needless to say, he looked absolutely ridiculous. And it doesn't help with the fact that he didn't look anything like a predator fresh from the wild, considering that the cotton tail was completely covering up his foxy tail. Fergus could only hope to pray that his already embarrassing moment of humiliation wouldn't get any worse.

"PPPFFFFTTTT!!! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!" 

His prayers have fallen on deaf ears, as Dolly burst with laughter, tears springing from her eyes. The cackling tomboy  Dalmatian fell onto her back and started rolling side to side and kicking her hindlegs, all the  while clutching her sides in her shriek-filled laughter from seeing Fergus in his ridiculous costume.

"O-Oh, dog!!" Dolly managed to speak in her fit of laughter.

"I-I didn't think i-it was possible! Y-You look.... RIDICULOUS!! So much for being WILD! Oh dog, m-my ribs!!"

Fergus' eyes were practically almost as wide as dinner plates at Dolly's reaction. He looked down at his predicament he roped himself into. The laughing canine was right! The pathetic bunny costume he's stuck in really did strip away any sign of wild that he possessed and replaced it all with the non-threatening pink, fluffy, baby adorableness, the last thing that Fergus ever wanted to be! His blush flared up even more, as Dolly's constant teasing further fueled his embarrassment.

"W-wha? I-!? No!! I-I'm still wild!!" Fergus stammered, gob smacked by Dolly's remark. "S-Sid, Big Fee, help me out here!!"

He shifted his gaze to the two Canal Crew members hoping the two would back him up and spare him the extra humiliation, only to find that Sid and Big Fee had joined in on the laughter too, adding further insult to injury.

"I-I'm sorry! I'm s-sorry-y-y-y!!" Sid struggled to apologize between his fit of giggles.

"I-I'm so sorry, Fergus!! I-it... the b-bunny suit... the c-cuteness, I... I c-a-a-an't! It's too much!!"

"HA-HA-HA-HA!! Baby foxy is baby bunny!!" Big Fee chortled, kicking her tiny rat feet in amusement.

Fergus could only sit there gob smacked at the squirrel and rat's lack of spine, as their snorts and giggles joined with Dolly's mock-filled laughter and ridicule. Now the fox was livid, with a mix of embarrassment and utmost fury etched on his face. It took Fergus every fiber of his being to fight back the growing urge to lunge at Dolly and strangle her right here and there.

"Okay, 'Mr. Easter Bunny'", the smug stepbrother spoke up, making quotation marks with the digits of his paws.

"You look cute. You look convincing. Our brothers and sisters are gonna love your adorable look! Now, go grab your Easter basket, why dontcha?"

He slides the said Easter basket over to the incensed fox. The Easter Basket was filled to the brim with colorful eggs painted in different colored palettes and patterns. There was even a Dalmatian spot-patterned egg buried among the few dozen, painted boiled eggs.

The blushing, bunny-costumed fox's poofy bunny ears drooped behind his head. Frowning, he plopped his rump on the floor and again crossed his forelegs, and basically sat there, fuming in both shame and embarrassment as Dolly, Sid and Big Fee continue their mocking laughter. From the way he was sitting, Fergus practically looked like a young child sulking in their tantrum over not getting any dessert.

"Bark off, Dyl! I ain't showing myself out there like this just to entertain your sibs! And tell your sister to shut up!" Fergus growled, as Dolly was still teasing the poor fox and laughing her head off.

"Tsk-tsk-tsk, Fergus. Who was the dumb fox that got himself outfoxed in his dumb bet?" The smug stepbrother tutted.

"Plus, it's already being recorded! ~" He was holding up a  digital camcorder in his paw and had set it on record to state the obvious. "C'mon, buddy. You'd do anything for our siblings, right?"

"Yea! Be a big man, and go out there!" Big Fee said, giggling. "Do yer bunny hop for the wee siblings~!"

"Yeah, mate. You don't want to look bad in front of those innocent pups now, do ya?" Sid insisted.

At that moment, with all options completely off the table and no sly tricks to help him slip out of this uncomfortable dilemma, Fergus knew that he dug a tunnel too deep, and has no way of getting out of it.

"Traitors!!" Fergus spat at Sid and Big Fee. He lets out an angry huff before picking up the basket full of Easter eggs.

Now holding the basket in his mouth by the handle, Fergus trots over to the backyard door, but not before taking the basket out of his mouth and grabbing Dylan by his scruffy chest, pressing his snout against his to shoot his fierce predator-like glare into Dylan's innocent eyes.

"So help me, Dylan... If this footage somehow ends up gettin' leaked onto the net, I'll kill you! You, and your annoying sister!" Fergus said threateningly. Dylan grinned sheepishly, although he knows that the fox was just bluffing.

"Relax, dude", Dolly said with reassurance, yet still prideful.

"This dog fam knows not to be a tattletale through the worldwide woof over embarrassing secrets. Dalmatians family's honor."

Fergus shoves his dorky-spotted friend back on the floor before letting out a heavy sigh. The fox had been friends with the two annoying stepsiblings for several years to know that as  overbearing as they are, they would never go as far as to hurt their friends. 

Reluctantly, he picks up the Easter Egg basket again and stops at the slide door. He uses his paws to slide it open, and outside was a plethora of Dalmatian siblings playing about on the grass, celebrating their Easter in their own way. Some of them wore bunny hoods and  hopped around, while others played a nice simple game of Easter Egg hunting. 

Da Vinci was spending her own time painting each Easter Egg in different colorful patterns while DJ played low-fi springtime music playlist on his sound mixer to make their holiday livelier.

Dimitri 1 and 2 on the other paw were tossing easter eggs over to Dimitri 3 to see how many he could juggle, while Dawkins was bust designing a blueprint for a robotic toy bunny for his younger siblings to interact with.

All in all, the Dalmatian family were having a thrilling time celebrating the most wonderful holiday during the time of Spring, unaware of the fox's presence.

It's no biggie, Fergus thought to himself.

These ankle-biters haven't noticed you in the bunny  outfit yet. I'll just set my paw on the soft grass, be casual, blend in, not attract any attention and step back inside unnoticed. Simple.

Fergus could only hope that this plan will go without a hinge and relief Fergus of any further humiliation than what he's suffering in. Nervously, he slowly sets his paw on the grass, going  virtually unnoticed. So far, so good. The fox still has the sneaky nature beside him. He just needs to not make much noise and get caught being seen in such an embarrassing predicament--

"Heya, faaammm!!" Dolly hollered out, causing Fergus to jump and almost losing control of balancing the colorful eggs in the basket.

OH, FOR THE LOVE OF DOG!! REALLY, DOL'!? Fergus growled in his thoughts.

The spotted siblings stop their activities altogether upon hearing their eldest stepsibling's holler and shifted their attention toward her and Fergus. The poor Fox froze in fear.

"You will not believe who came to visit~!" Dolly presented the flustered fox, fully dressed in the pink easter bunny costume in a huge "Ta-da" fashion to her brothers and sisters.

Fergus gulped as he braced himself for his impending doom. Not long after a moment or two, the backyard was already filled with the sound of cheering and overjoyed barking among the  crowd of siblings.

"It's the Easter Bunny!!" Dizzy hollered with delight.

"He's here! He's here!" Dee-Dee cheered after her. 

Following her was a clamor of a hundred excited, spotty rascals chattering at once.

"Easter bunny! Easter bunny!"

"Whatcha get? Whatcha get for us?"

"Hey, stop pushing! I wanna see!"

"Hug the bunny! Hug the bunny!"

Of course, Fergus has to admit, it was not as bad as being laughed at by Dolly, but nevertheless, still a humiliating position to be in.

Welp... Fergus' pessimistic thoughts carried on. If I'm gonna go out there lookin' like an idiot, I might as well make it a good show. For these adorable ankle-biters.

Now having resigned to his imminent fate, he inhales through his nostrils and lets out another heavy sigh. Fergus assumes his position, puts on a fake smile while keeping the basket gripped in his mouth. He positions himself, sitting on his haunches, so that he's  standing like a real rabbit and proceeds to hop into the backyard. With each small leap in he air, he bounces across the soft grass with his own two foxy hindfeet. In turn, he earns himself another round of laughter from Dolly, who's standing right behind him watching the pathetic display before her.

And in no time flat, Fergus suddenly found himself swarmed in a sea of Dalmatians, as they crowd around him, shoving each other trying to give him a hug. Triple D were the first to make their remarks.

"OMD! You are so like"... Dallas cried.

"Tots ADORBS, Mr. Bunny!" Destiny added.

"Cuteness overload!" Deja Vu came in last.

In the meantime, Diesel popped out from underneath the burrows next to Fergus to interject.

"I heard the Easter Bunny is a super-fast tunnel dweller who digs 10000 tunnels a day around the world just to deliver plenty of kibble and doggy treats!" The digger pup spouted the facts enthusiastically.

"That's even more than I can dig!"

"Mr. Easter Bunny! How do you do all of that?" The curious Dizzy asked.

"Tell us, Mr. Bunny! We really got to know!" Her lop-eared sidekick Dee-Dee begged, desperately clutching her paws around Fergus' foreleg.

Meanwhile, the older siblings were observing the adorable sight of their younger siblings experiencing up-close interaction with the 'Easter Bunny'.

"Wait... that Easter bunny looks just like Fergus," Da Vinci eyes squinted in suspicion, as she watched Fergus getting literally dog-piled by her younger siblings from afar.

"Strange", a perplexed Dawkins said, tapping his chin in puzzlement.

"I don't think it's scientifically possible for rabbits to genetically develop a canine muzzle, let alone a fox's during their growth. This is obviously a rare case."

"Of course, it isn't, Dawkins. I think that Easter bunny is Fergus", DJ added, being one of the several pups to already recognize the fox in bunny's clothing.

"Wow! Fergus looks like he's been having his own string of bad luck," Dante said, somewhat feeling pity for the foxy victim."

"Huh. Looks like I'm not the only one then."

"Look at it this way, dear brother", Deepak said, reassuringly.

"Fergus' actions show that he'd do anything to make our family happy. I believe that his predicament may be a blessing for us... and maybe for him."

With all of the cute, fluffy chaos happening in the backyard, Dylan watches through the camera lens, recording every adorable detail in sight. It wasn't long after Dylan held himself together with Dolly, Sid and Big Fee laughing their heads off at their foxy friend, did he burst  into a fit of laughter as well.

"O-ho, man! This is too rich. Looks like this Easter is gonna be written up in the archives, eh bro?" Dolly guffawed, slapping his stepbrother on the back and wiping a tear.

"I think I'll be remembering this one for a looooooong time!"

"It's not just us, Sis! I think everyone will have something to cherish their memories with", Dylan laughed. "And I got it all on footage! ~"

Meanwhile, Fergus was able to resurface from the sea of Dalmatians he was buried deep in. He took a moment to drop his happy-bunny facade to glare at the two stepsiblings who had  gotten their way and his two Canal goons who weren't helpful in the slightest.

Of course, this whole shebang didn't turn out bad as Fergus had made it out to be at all. At the end, he was glad to make Dylan and Dolly's siblings happy in his reluctant cooperation with the two step siblings. Doug and Delilah would no doubt be pleased about what the fox did, though they're sure to be in stitches when they see the recording later on.

Fergus though was still miffed over how the two sly top dogs played him dirty and is forcing him to endure all of this.

And yet, a glint of mischief could be seen in Fergus' eyes, which hinted strongly that the sly fox may have some kind of sweet payback brewing in his clever mind for next year.

Thought you can get away with making me your Easter Bunny of the year, eh D-dawgs? Fergus' thoughts took over again. 

Well, enjoy your taste of victory while you can! You may think you've hustled ole' Fergus here, but this fox never forgets. I'm gonna get even with you two next Easter! Just. You. Wait.

Of course, he may have to think over what went wrong with his bet. But first, there was a number of spotty ankle biters that he plans to snuggle with...

-FIN-

[indecentpause]

Find the Word Catch-Up!

Tagged by @kaiusvnoir to find faint, frown, flicker, and face and @papercutsunset to find vision, huge, mean, space, and loss! thank!

from The Most Beautiful Puzzle, as always!

cw: murder mention

I’ve lost track of who does and doesn’t want to be tagged, so here’s an open one, yes, for YOU!! to find float, spike, hands, and feet.

faint:

“They must have been so busy with cleaning everything up, it got lost in the shuffle,” [Sara] says. “I know my guys, and I know they wouldn’t leave something like this out on purpose.” She examines the wrists again. “It is pretty faint. I didn’t notice until you pointed it out, they must have missed it, too.”

“She was missing for a week before they found her body,” Josselin says.

“Yeah,” you agree, “but she was in that tote for a long time. If the intent was kidnapping, she didn’t stay alive for very long.”

frown:

Then your phone rings, the tone you use for unknown numbers. You pick it up and mute the ringer.

“Not important?” Frankie asks. It’s casual and a little distracted as she watches the tv, so hopefully that means Josselin didn’t tell her anything about your situation.

“Nah,” you say. It rings again. You frown and mute the whole phone this time.

“You sure?” she asks. “Sounds important. I can step out if--”

“No, it’s fine,” you say. “Just a telemarketer.”

flicker:

The GPS tells you to turn onto the expressway, and you realize you’re headed to O’Hare.

“Where are we going? What happened?” It’s coming out in a panicked shriek now. Your knuckles are white on the steering wheel, your heart beating so hard and so fast it could burst from your chest at any moment. You accidentally run the red light leading onto the expressway. Thankfully no cops see you. Still, you don’t speed past the flow of traffic, just in case.

“Josselin!” you finally shout. The road is almost empty and some of the streetlights are flickering and the cats are screaming and Josselin is still typing on his phone who the hell is he texting–

Josselin jumps. “I’m sorry. We’re going to Dona’s. It’s the safest place I can think of right now.”

face:

You try hard not to listen, but you can still hear the catch in his voice, the wet sound of him rubbing the back of his hand against his sniffly nose. When he hangs up and drops his hands, one of them lands on yours.

Your breath catches and your fingers twitch and you have to remind yourself to breathe.

No. No, you can’t. You’ve gone through relationship trauma and you feel connected to Josselin because he protected you. This is not real. You don���t have romantic feelings for him. For anyone.

You are not going to let yourself ask Josselin to be anything other than what he is right now, but especially not a rebound. He deserves so much better than that. So much better than you. You don’t even know whether he’s straight, just that he’s poly.

But you still don’t pull your hand away. Neither does he.

Your face burns all the way to your ears and down your neck. He must see it. He must. But he doesn’t say anything about it.

vision:

The Inspector is talking to one of the traffic cops as you approach the police tape. He catches sight of you from the corners of his vision and turns toward you. Josselin holds the tape up so you can get under, then he joins you, as the Inspector pushes two medical masks into your hands. Again, you switch them out, but no Vicks this time, so hopefully that’s a good sign.

“I have some people in her dorm room now,” he says, turning and gesturing for you to follow. “We’re starting there. There are security cameras in some areas, so I have some others collecting footage to look through back at the station.”

huge:

The apartment is… not exactly a mess, but it’s definitely at least chaotic neutral. The coffee table is covered with everything from coloring books and crayons to DVDs to stuffed animals, and there are pillows and blankets everywhere, all with a dusting of cat hair.The three cats from the picture wind around Josselin’s feet and he crouches down to pet and hug them.

“Feel free to look around,” Josselin says.

By the TV are two taxidermied cats, one fluffy and gray and one short haired and white, one on each side. Above the TV is a shelf with a huge, ridiculously tacky, noticeably empty vase with sunflowers on it, and a small, sharp-toothed skull on either side. Did… he keep the cats’ skulls, too?

mean:

The three of you sit around the living room talking for a few minutes, but Danny has a bunch of stuff to do for his parents, so with a quick hug and a ‘be careful, okay?’, he goes out on his way.

Josselin frowns just a little at the door after Danny leaves, eyebrows drawn. He looks back at you and opens his mouth, but you say,

“No, not you. He wasn’t talking about you.”

Josselin stares at you blankly for a moment as he works out what you mean.

“Oh. Oh!” He nods adamantly. “Yeah, okay.”

Another long, awkward pause.

"Um," Josselin says. You look back up from the table. "I have some ace bandages, if you think it would help."

space:

He hesitates, then nods. You gently, very gently, touch the side of his shoulder. He flinches, so you drop your hand and move a step back to give him space.

“Do you like ice cream?” you ask. “I got some cookies and cream. I don’t mind sharing.”

“But the top--”

“Is sealed with plastic,” you reassure him. “I’ll leave it alone and let you open it and take as much as you want before I eat any, okay?”

Josselin’s lip wobbles and he looks down at his feet.

“Meara, thank you so much for thinking of me, but I can’t… I don’t know why I’m like this, I don’t know why I can’t just eat normal food at home like everyone else, but I just. It’s. It feels bad.”

loss lost:

There’s no phone number or address, even a P.O. Box--thank god, you don’t want weirdos showing up or calling in the middle of the night--but there is a little form with a drop down menu that starts with “Reason For Contact.”

Huh.

You click. The first couple are relatively normal: freelance translating, translation assistant, research assistant, sensitivity reader, article and fiction editing.

Then, the last two at the bottom: finding lost things and finding lost people. Interesting.

You spend the next few hours reading through the articles you’ve found, over and over, trying to see if you can figure out who this Josselin Clearwater person really is.

[chelles-trees]

Diderot's Coffee

By me

              Teaching isn’t all it used to be. Tegan makes me to jump with her sudden entrance.

              “Michelle! You need to grab the carboy and bring it over here. We’re just about to leave!”

              I pick up the big, cardboard container of ice-cold milk and carry it out of the cafe to the covered pickup truck. Stupid, should have already had this in there. It’s nice to do something that has a definite start and end time. If you can’t handle the teaching and paperwork separately you don’t deserve easy. It’s also nice not being a second mom to 150 teenagers. You could’ve had your own children if not for becoming a girl. The cab doors click unlocked, and I get into the back seat with the induction stove and boxes of croissants.

              “What do you think you’re doing?” Stephan asks from the driver’s seat. The boss continued, “Get up front here. You’re so big you are going to smash something. Let Tegan sit back there.”

              I nodded and got out. If you throw up right now, you won’t have to go, and then you won’t fee-fie-foe-fum all over everything. Tegan passed from one door to the other right in front of me, then I got into the front without opening my mouth again.

              The job site was a film set, looking like old dust bowl Colorado—where the wooden buildings all had raised wooden porches that connected to each other with bridges to make a sidewalk that couldn’t be easily buried in dust. Someone’s daughter’s class was coming for a field trip, and they wanted better hot chocolate and cinnamon apple spice than the regular contractors had on hand.

              “Why aren’t you wearing your uniform?” Stephan asked in a hurry, as I lifted an ice chest one tenth my weight and one half my size out of the back of the truck. Jut your chest out so people can see your boobs so they don’t think you’re a man.

              “Oh, uh, it’s my first day.” Does he know? Does he see through me? I look down at my black, faux silk, yin-yang decorated blouse, and my loose-fitting slacks. Of course this was too ‘interesting’ an outfit for a first day. What do you want to look like, some wannabe disk jockey? Is it racist in an appropriative sort of way?

              “Ah!” Stephan winces. He reaches in the cab, right behind the driver’s seat, and hands me a folded set of clothes. “Put these on.”

              The pile includes short shorts, a shirt, and an apron with the outline of a foppish Frenchman holding a mug of coffee and the inscription “Drink Diderot’s, it’s written on high.” How does he know my size?

              “Wha- where…” I see the port-a-potties are still being delivered off their truck, and the school bus just arrived.

              “I don’t care where you change,” Stephan said. “Just go. Go behind a bush or something.”

              He wants to see you change. Looking at everyone milling about, I take the pile of clothes and a plastic bag from the truck. He wants the wrong people to see you change because he wants them to kill you. I walk beneath the wooden sidewalk, jog behind the buildings, then find the biggest bushes I can that are at least 50 yards away and try to change faster than it’ll take someone to follow me out here.

              Your legs are so untanned they can blind people at 20 yards. They’re gross, even shaved. Why would you subject anyone to that? Don’t look at that thing between them. It looks like a shaved mouse that ate arsenic and died months ago in a spider’s web. It feels like being pinched by a lobster.

              With my new uniform of a beige, button down shirt, white short shorts, and green apron-tisement, I re-emerged from the bushes from behind the buildings, and passed under the sidewalk again to find the whole place deserted. Clothes bag in hand, I put the other hand to my head to shade it from the rising sun on the east, and scan all the way around to the west. Cars and trucks are here. Everything is still half unloaded. There were just no people.

              They left you. They just started playing a prank on you, and then they decided to do something useful with their day and left.

              “Hello?” I called out.

              There is no response.

              After another minute of waiting, I decide to just finish unloading Stephan’s truck. Wherever they went, they’ll be back, and I need something to do in the meantime. Maybe I can make myself some coffee.

              I just finished setting our little stand up and plugging everything in when the doors to the buildings opened, and everyone poured back out. They were laughing. I heard joking about being drowned and whether they’d still be expected to come to work. Someone tried to do a back of the envelope calculation of how much force it’d take to knock down the wooden structures.

              “What is going on?” I asked, a little dumbfounded and trying to hide a tear in each eye.

              “Didn’t you get the notifications?” one of the key grips asked me. When I shook my head, he said, “check your phone.”

              My phone was in my back pocket, and was set to silent, no vibrate. I reached for it. Why is your hand near your butt? Who will think you’re trying to draw attention to your butt? Who will think you’re trying to flirt with them? Will they be mad enough to say something?

              “Tsunami Warning,” read my notification. “Earthquake 650 miles off the coast of California. Get to high ground if within 40 miles of the coast.” I started panicking, then saw the second notification. “Tsunami warning false alarm. Faulty sensor near deep ocean drill rig.”

              Cheeks wet with tears, and feeling light-headed, I steadied myself with one hand while I took a few deep breaths and laughed my anxiety away. 

              “Do you go to Santa Cruz?” I heard a young voice ask.

              I looked up to see that a small crowd of 8-year-olds had gathered near me.

              “No…?” I said. “I don’t think I’ve ever needed to go there. Why do you ask?”

              “My sister goes to school there, and you look a lot like her friends.”

              “Really?”

              “Yeah. Her friends live in this big building with some ancient letters on it.”

              “Oh! Her ‘s friends are in a Greek house… at UC Santa Cruz.”

              “Yeah! That’s the one.”

              “And you think I look like them?”

              “Well, you’re a big kid, and pretty.” The little boy gave an exaggerated shrug of his shoulders.

              I laughed and smiled. Kids are always super honest. I dried my eyes with a paper-towel and asked them if they wanted hot chocolate. They all did. Of course they all did. We chatted about school while I made their drinks. I told them I’d already graduated, and I’d studied literature, biology, and teaching. Some of their eyes got wide. One of the girls wanted to talk about the books her parents had against a wall. She said it was a whole library in their house. One of the boys told me about his terrarium. Someone asked why I was serving them chocolate if I was a teacher—wasn’t I supposed to keep them from eating or drinking when it wasn’t lunch time?—and I said that I might be a teacher, but I wasn’t their teacher. I also told them that I liked chocolate and coffee, a lot.

              By the end of the day, I was apparently the kids’ favorite thing on set. It might have been because I introduced them to Mexican hot chocolate that was spicy like Cuauhtémoc and Moctezuma would have drunk. It might have been when I told them about the Turkish defeat at the battle of Vienna, how coffee stolen from the Turkish camp was crucial to keeping the Viennese spy awake long enough to get reinforcements, which I finished by dramatically holding up a croissant—the pastry that was shaped like the Turkish flag to commemorate the battle. It’s also possible that I was such a hit because the movie star who was supposed to be there didn’t believe the tsunami warning was false and drove inland as fast as they could go. You can’t film much without someone in front of the camera.

              At one point, I happened to glance into a full-length mirror that leaned against a wall, waiting for its final destination to be decided and cleared. The girl who glanced back looked fit and cute in those shorts. Her legs were muscular. Her makeup was messy, but in a woman-at-work sort of way. The neck beneath her foundation looked like it belonged there. Looking at her from the outside, she made me want to be her. No, I want to continue to be her.

[postsforposting]

(speaking of a cis man) Imagine going through your life, like normal, and everyone’s decided that they should call you ma’am. That everyone was using she/her pronouns for you. And that no matter how hard you insisted that, no, you are a man, and no matter how many ways you tried to “prove” it, no one would believe you or take you seriously. That’s what it would be like if you were trans.” 

That does happen, though. This is what gender policing is, when people call cis men pussies and needle them for "acting like women" or "being homo", and when people harass women for "not acting lady like" and "acting like a man".

I think a lot of people don't see a problem with transphobia because it's actually normal behavior to them. Protesting when people treat you like this is no different than not being able to take a joke and being a snowflake and "not being able to handle the real world", among all those other lovely phrases people use to excuse this stuff and claim it's the target's responsibility to shut up and like it, that protesting means you need more of it to toughen you up so you learn what's good for you.

It's not just transphobia that works like this, either. It's part of a larger trend of callousness that's whipped into people from birth.

I think for a lot of white people, when you call them out on their casual racism (microagressions and non-overt things), they see it as a case of hurt feelings from your point of view as opposed to a discussion of harmful practices that aid the vehicle of racism. So in response, they take it as a personal attack, rather than a learning experience, and go on the defensive by bringing up a time that you made them upset as leverage. Or they defend their actions by doubling down on the behavior at hand and dismissing your criticism as over sensitivity and emphasizing their “harmless” intent. And I think that is one of the reasons why it’s so hard to address casual and interpersonal racism with the general white population (and also other poc tbh).

People in general grow up under systemic abuse as children, being taught that maltreatment is a good thing; at worst, that their "fee fees" don't matter and are a sign of their immaturity, and at best that systemic dehumanization, second class citizenship, is nothing more than a case of "hurt feelings" which are good for you to experience to become a better person, which you as the target are responsible for sucking up and getting over on your own time, and which are not the problem of anyone else. If you try to claim someone is in the wrong for doing these things to you, or even that you are hurt because of them, then you get told to "stop crying before I give you a reason to cry". That's a threat and punishment for recognizing what is actually happening. Anything overt is not to be mentioned or brought up at all, because it's explicitly required as "for your own good", and "casual" aggression is seen as you putting up a fuss and being whiny and "sensitive"--again, as you not being able to handle the real world, as evidence that you need more of the same.

You learn to shut up and smile. You learn to treat people the same way, because this is what's considered right, because you will be next if you don't and so you defend the system and slap down those who deviate from it. You learn to never admit to mistakes, because mistakes are proof you're lesser, didn't listen, and deserve punishment. All of this starts from birth.

When that's how you're taught to view yourself, of course you're not going to see identity struggles like racism and queer issues as different from what you yourself live with. It's all just people being whiny selfish snowflakes who don't know what's good for them. You justify what's happening to you because that's what you've been taught to do all your life.

You do not "see it as a learning experience" because mistakes mean you deserve punishment, so on top of being taught to straight up not see harm as harm, you will never acknowledge any errors you make because what should be a simple mistake you can correct is actually admitting you deserve torture. Forever, because there is no such thing as your mistakes being over and done with when they can be infinitely brought up to belittle you.

"Racism" of this kind isn't a problem because "people are white". Bigotry like this isn't rooted in beliefs of superiority and inferiority. It happens because people are taught to not see any harms of its kind as a problem, and are in fact taught to see its behavior the same way they see all other callous behavior: you're a snowflake, they're having a laugh. Until you can crack the idea that people deserve callousness, and that callousness is good and fun and makes you a better person, people will still insist that there is nothing wrong, not because they are "racist" or inherently defective because of their race, but because they were taught that "having feelings" and "being hurt" is weakness that must be burned out. Because they were taught that admitting to wrongdoing means they deserve that same callousness.

[deathxwalkerxx]

It’s always been you.

Pairing: Natasha Romanoff, x avenger!fem

Warning: none, just pure fluff.

Summary:  Anonymous requested:

 Can I request something with Natasha? Just something about her having feeling for the reader and it's the first person she's loved for a long time, but she's scared about admitting it. Then they go on a mission and Nat thinks the reader was killed, and when she sees her, Nat hugs her and holds her super tight for a long while, because she really got scared. Later the reader talks to her about it because she noticed the feels. Thank you :3

A/N: i fee like i didn’t do this one justice, but i hope you enjoy it!! 

You always told her that you were nothing special. That you were always questioning why they wanted you on the Avengers. She remembered you chuckling and telling her that you were just a simple hacker, that, that was all that you could give to the world. You made sure people got money when they needed it, and got exposed when they deserved to get exposed. Natasha kept reminding you, that was why you were an Avenger, because you helped people, and your skills were not matched by anyone’s out there. You helped the Avengers with targets, you helped hack into their security systems and took them down for the others to get in. You definitely rivaled Stark, though Natasha always believed you were better at it than Stark, but she’d never say that out loud. She loved the way that your tongue would stick out between your lips when you were hacking, when you were concentrating. It didn’t just happen when you were hacking though, you did that a lot even when you were reading, or trying to win at a game of chess against Bruce. Natasha never believed in love, she always believed that it was for children, believed that it was just some fairytale that would never become a reality. She’d seen people in love, and then see them move on to someone else. She couldn’t remember when she started feeling it, she just remembered how she got to feel it. How it crept up on her out of nowhere. She didn’t want to say anything to you about it. She was afraid of explaining it to you, of coming out to you with how much she loved you that it consumed her. She found herself unable to sleep because you were just clouding her mind, she found it hard to think with you sitting right next to her. How could she love someone like you? You were good, and pure, and sure you were a pain in the ass sometimes, but she loved that about you also. The way your eyes would light up when you were excited about something, the way you would stammer when you were trying to get your words out, but you were so excited about it so you couldn’t get the words out. Just thinking about you had a smile gracing Natasha’s features, had her palms sweaty. 

You were the first and only person that had made her feel this way, the only person that had her heart racing like it was now with just thinking about you. How could she ever admit any of this to you? She had red in her ledger, she wasn’t a good person, you hadn’t hurt anyone, you hadn’t wanted to hurt anyone. Natasha had blood on her fingers, whereas you didn’t. She knew she shouldn’t be thinking like this, but she couldn’t help it, it was one of many reasons why she didn’t tell you, the other reason? Simple. She was afraid you’d reject her, and she didn’t know what to do with the love that she had for you, if you never felt the same way. “Have you heard, curls? We’ve got a mission. Just the two of us.” You say as you sit down next to Natasha, bringing her out of her thoughts. “Just the two of us? What are you going to do? Hack bullets away.” She teases you, studying you as you roll your eyes at her, a mock laugh escaping your lips. “Very funny. You know I can shoot right? I just choose not to.” You point out to her, as you lean back in your seat, hands resting in your lap holding a file for you to read. Natasha knew that you had a point, you only shot if you needed to, and at times you didn’t need to, because they did that while you hacked away in their systems, downloading everything they needed. Natasha always stayed close to you while you were working, she always had your back, and she knew that you had hers. You never let her be alone either, always teaming up with her. The both of you were close. You spent a lot of time together, eating together, watching movies in your down time. She couldn’t not be around you. It was hard enough being around you, but being away from you felt like she was going crazy.

 “This seems doable.” You say, once again pulling Natasha out of her thoughts. “Yeah, it seems like it’s an in and out kind of deal.” She muses as she reads over the file also. It didn’t seem like it was a serious mission, the place had been empty for months, but Fury believes there is something on these computers that they had left behind and he wanted it, that’s why you and Natasha both were going. She was good at hacking of course but nothing compared to you, with the both of you there it was going to be quick and easy. “That’s what she said.” You say before getting out of your seat smirking at Natasha as you move toward the door. “The jet ain’t going to fly itself, Curls.” You call out to her which has Natasha chuckling and moving to follow you. She would honestly follow you anywhere, which she knew was pathetic in itself, but it was the truth, she would follow you anywhere. The ride on the jet was just you two talking about the mission, where you were to enter, and if any trouble did happen where to exit and get back to the jet. Of course you didn’t think anything could go wrong, the place had been left to nothing, but still. It was better to be safe than sorry. You trusted Natasha, you trusted her judgment so of course you’d listen to her. You never were reckless, you never jeopardized a mission, especially if it was going to be putting Natasha at risk, you’d never put her life at risk.

 Natasha put the jet down a few yards away from the building that they had to go into. She was being cautious and you were following behind her, not wanting to make a sound. Natasha opens the door, and leads you down a hallway, before stepping into the room where their computers were. “Alright, we know what Fury is looking for, and so far there doesn’t seem to be anyone here, so let’s just make this quick.” Natasha tells you, in which you nod your head, keeping your weight light on each step that you take. “Should have brought popcorn.” You mumble, which had Natasha smiling and she was doing her best to not laugh at that. “After this is done, we can get popcorn.” She says to you now, before she was beginning to turn on the computers, and you do the same. You were to get as much information on these computers as you possibly could. “We could just take all of it, you know? There isn’t anyone….” Your sentence got cut off when you heard a boom close by that shook the building, and you were looking to Natasha who was quick to pull out her USB. “We’ve got to go.” She says, before she was taking your hand and leading you back out of the room and down the corridor. “Nat, I don’t think we’re going to make it.” You say as the shakes of the place got more well, shaker. You watched as Natasha quickened her steps, and you did the same, doing your best to keep up with her. Natasha didn’t want this getting out of hand, she didn’t want either of you getting hurt. Especially you. She didn’t know what she would do if she lost you. 

She just got out the door, when suddenly there was ringing in her ears. She felt the earth against her side, the wind being knocked out of her. The sky was above her, and for a moment she just laid there, trying her best to get her mind to focus on what had happened. Once she got her bearings, Natasha was quick to her feet, horror was in front of her, seeing smoke all around her. She couldn’t see you though and that was the horror of it all. She tried to move through the smoke but she couldn’t see much in front of her, because of said smoke. She was coughing as she was inhaling it, searching hard to find you. “Y/N!” She screamed out before she was coughing again. This couldn’t be happening, she couldn’t lose you. Not like this. “You’re going to give away your position.” She  hears your voice, making her let out a sigh of relief, before she was wrapping her arms around you the moment that she saw you. It was a tight hug, and you hugged her back. “Nat?” You ask softly, when it didn’t appear that she was going to let go of you. “You know we have to leave right?” You ask her, before Natasha seemed to get her bearings and was quick to pull away from you, and then moved quickly toward the jet. You both made it there unscathed, but Natasha seemed to be avoiding talking to you. It was a quiet trip back to the compound, and before you could even bring up what happened, Natasha was quick to get off the jet. It had you frowning watching her go, though you followed her. The long hug and how tight she held onto you was still going through your mind. You watched as she made her way toward her room, and you were quick to put your foot between the door, making sure she couldn’t close it all the way. “We need to talk.” You tell her as you push the door open, and follow her into her room, watching as she placed herself on the edge of the bed. 

“Yeah, I don’t think we got a lot of information out of those computers. Not much that Fury could go on.” Natasha tells you as you lean yourself against her dresser. “That’s not what I’m talking about Nat. I’m talking about the tight long hug you gave me. You’ve never done that before.” Another thing that Natasha loved about you. You got straight to the point, no beating around the bush. Your voice wasn’t harsh though when you delivered your words, you were soft though, even your eyes were soft on her, she could see that you just wanted to understand. “I thought you were dead, Y/N. I was relieved when I saw that you weren’t.” She admits with a shrug of her shoulders, which has you frowning because Natasha never just shrugged off her words. “You can talk to me, Natasha. You’ve never not talked to me. That was the quietest jet ride you and I have ever had. And that’s saying something, because we had that one jet ride where we were betting who could stay quiet the longest, which failed because we were trying to make each other laugh.” You say, which earns a chuckle from Natasha. “We are terrible at that game.” She says, as you walk over to her to sit down beside her now. “So talk to me, Tasha. What’s going on?” You ask her, your eyes studying her as she let out a deep breath, and couldn’t look at you, which had you confused. Natasha always looked at you, she was always staring, though you’d never point it out, because you never wanted her to stop staring, it just made you wonder why she would be staring at you. Wasn’t like there was much to stare at. Now you were finding yourself staring at her. “I don’t know how to explain this.” Natasha says as she begins to fidget with her hands. Your eyes glance down at her hands, watching them fidgeting with each other, and then she was looking back at her face. “I’m not going to laugh, Nat. Again you can tell me anything.” You whisper to her, watching how her body was tense like she was unable to relax. She always could relax around you, you always made sure of that. 

Natasha meanwhile was trying to figure out how to tell you that she loved you. Should she just come out and say it? What if you didn’t understand what she was saying? Should she just kiss you? But then what if you don’t like that? She knew she had to say something, otherwise you’d think she was just ignoring you, or didn’t want to talk to you at all. Which isn’t the case, because she loved talking to you, if she could, she’d spend all day and night talking to you. You were patient with her though, she could see that. You were still looking at her, but you weren’t saying anything, you were giving her the time to talk to you, to get her thoughts straight. “Okay, I’m just going to come out and say it.” Natasha decides, and her eyes meet yours, watching you nod your head. “Please. Because you’re worrying me, and I have so many lame jokes in my head that I don’t think you want to hear.” You say to her, watching her chuckling which has you grinning because you were making her relaxed and you want her to relax. “I don’t know when it happened. I can’t figure out how it happened. It just. Came out of nowhere. It happened, and for the longest time I tried to brush it off, I didn’t want to feel it. Not that it was a bad feeling, it’s just. I don’t deserve it.” Natasha says, though her words were coming out rushed and you were trying your best to keep up with her, but. She wasn’t making much sense. “Nat. What are you talking about?” You asked her gently of course, she was talking and you didn’t want to make her stop talking or get her all defensive. “I love you.” She tells you now, which has you nodding your head. “And I love you. But you’re making no sense.” You say, watching as Natasha was shaking her head, groaning softly at you. “No, Y/N. I’m in love with you. I don’t know when it started, but it happened, and it grew so much that I couldn’t stop thinking about you, I couldn’t sleep because I was just picturing what you were up to, or trying to figure out what it’ll be like to sleep next to you. To wake up beside you.” She honestly felt lighter now that she had told you this, and though she couldn’t look you in the eyes, she still felt that love for you, pouring out of her skin, out into the room around her. 

“Wow. The Black Widow is stumped by love?” You tease which has Natasha pushing you off the bed. “Why are you like this?” She asks you as you’re laughing and placing yourself back on the bed. “I’m sorry, it’s very insensitive. I just can’t believe you love me. Or as you put it, in love with me.” You say, which has Natasha frowning at you. “Why not? Why is that so hard to believe?” She asks, which has you shrugging your shoulders. “Because you’re you. You’re a badass, not afraid of anything, good at what you do. Even if you don’t like how you became that good, it’s a blessing to us because you’re on our side.” You say giving her a gentle smile. “You’re the sweetest person that I know.” You then add, watching the way she was averting her gaze when you say this. “Which is why I find it hard to believe that you’re in love with me.” You tell her, watching as her emerald eyes meet yours, a question in them though you wanted her to ask. “Do you think it’s possible? If I ask you out on a date, would you accept it?” Natasha asks, though her heart drops when you shake your head. “No. I won’t accept it. Because I don’t want a date, Natasha.” You say to her, watching as she was nodding her head and then moving for the door. She did realize this was her bedroom right? “Then just forget what I said.” She says, as she opens the door, but you move to reach her, taking her hand in your own and closing the door with your hip.

“Idiot. I don’t want a date, because to me, you and I have already been on dates. We’ve already reached relationship status. We spend so much time together, that going on a date just feels. I don’t know like we’re starting over. I don’t want to start over with you, I just want to be with you.” You say to her, before Natasha’s lips were pressing against yours and you could feel her relaxing against you as your hands ran up her back, pulling her flush against you. “You do love me right?” Natasha asks you once you both came up for air, your foreheads resting against one another's. “Nope. I just want your ass.” You say, before she was slapping your arm. “Stop. I’m serious.” She says, and you could see the way the vulnerability was in her eyes, and you peck her lips softly. “Course I love you, idiot. How could one not?”