#but then that fucks up publication options down the line so. probs not.

[morvantmortuary]

late last night, I figured out how to compile my scrivener drafts to epubs (finally)

it is. immensely surreal to see your own work show up like a book in your ereader for the first time, let me tell you that.

[potter-imagines]

Smoking 🍃 w/ Your Boyfriend Fred Weasley...

Pairing: Fred Weasley x Reader  Prompt: Thought this was an interesting idea since I think we can all agree the Weasley Twins were def dealers lol

 (I’m still on vacation I just had this one in my drafts so I finished it up)

Warning: mature, sexual, weed, smoking, swearing, probs more.  If mentions of drugs makes you uncomfortable or you just don’t like it, don’t read this please! as implied by the title, this is literally all about what smoking with Fred Weasley would include 

-      Okay lets face it

-       Everyone and their owls know Fred and George Weasley were the best, most trusted, ‘flower’ dealers in Hogwarts 🍃🍃

-       You knew this before you started dating Fred

-       It just came as a bonus after getting together

-       Fred and George are almost always a little high

-       They sell carts, wax, edibles and flower

-       Like they’ve got it all, and the best quality

-      Their edibles are only for the brave; half the time you get an out of this world high, and other times, your skin is bright pink for a week from their trick

-       Lee Jordan also helps them with sales, the three of them are by far the biggest stoners in your year- probably in the whole castle

-       Seeing as most Slytherins’ did lines in the bathroom and in their dorms, Fred and George hardly sold to Slytherins

-       Most of the money the twins make goes towards saving for their dream joke shop

-       But Fred loves to buy you gifts when he has the chance

-       Like flowers, a bracelet, butterbeer, candies, books, etc.

-       He adores spoiling you

-       Fred never makes you pay if you wanna pick up from him

-       But he usually prefers you smoke with him or him and George

-       “You’re just so adorable when you’re high, sweetheart, I don’t wanna miss a thing. Plus, I’m scared you’ll tweak like a minx if you’re alone.”

-       Munchies galore

-       You guys will smoke late at night in their dorm with Lee

-       George is the designated snack man and will sneak into the kitchen before your smoke session

-       Lee shoves towels under the door and closes the vents

-       You would probably be the one enchanting the room so the smell doesn’t get out, but Fred really couldn’t care if anyone smelled it

-       You’ll usually smoke out the window, then trudge over to Fred’s bed and plop onto of him

-       “Jeeze, I think someone took one too many hits.”

-       Fred, George, and Lee will mess around, laughing loudly as they pass a blunt amongst the group

-       If it’s your first few times smoking, you’d probably just sit in Fred’s lap on the ground, staring off at the floor

-       Fred loves to tease you when you’re high

-       “Earth to Y/n- come back to us please.”

-       “Lovie, you’re eyes, they’re bloodshot as hell!”

-       Lots of kisses

-       You guys don’t make out too much after smoking as it’s nearly impossible for the both of you

-       Dry mouth is a bitch

-       Fred is vvv handsy when high

-       Like he needs to be touching your skin somehow

-       Whether he places you on his lap with his arms around you

-       Or laying together in his bed

-       Or holding hands on your walk back to the castle after smoking in the forest

-       Likes to pinch your butt when you’re walking up the stairs

-       He doesn’t really like when you’re high in public

-       He can tell when you’re nervous and start getting fidgety, so he’ll ask you to go on a walk with him to calm you down

“Angel, let’s go to the lake, yeah? Think you could use some fresh air, love.”

-       Fred will help you if you’re using a bong

-       “Here, love, just breathe it in until I tell you to stop and I’ll lift the top.”

-       COUGHING IN A SIN IN THEIR DORM

-       Whoever coughs first is labeled as a ‘little bitch’ according to George

-       Fred scolds Lee and George when they try to make fun of you for coughing

-       Like will murder them with his eyes and slap ts out of George’s arm

-       “Leave her alone… you know she doesn’t smoke as much as us… it’s completely normal, darling.” “Merlin’s sake, Fred. We’re just teasing her, mate. I think you could use the hit next him, maybe it’ll calm your hormones.”

-       George and you will have heated life debates

-       “No, George! Dinosaurs were here before people!” “That is not true, Y/n. Humans ruled the earth before those vicious stompers came roaming about. The dinosaurs- or should I say dinomurders- they killed all of humanity! They stomped on them, trapped the kids in those jeeps trying to eat them and ruined the kid’s fun and made destroyed the theme park-“ “George… that’s Jurassic Parks. It’s a fucking movie, you git.”

-       Fred likes to wrap his Gryffindor tie around your head and putting his sweaters over you “Aw, you look so cute, darling. I love seeing you in my clothes but my favorite thing is seeing you with nothing on at all.” “Fred! You can’t say that in front of George and Lee-“ “Oh believe me, Y/n. We sleep only feet away from you two- we’ve heard a lot worse. A lot worse.”

-       You guys will just lay around laughing for most of the night

-       You favorite times were when Fred and George would start talking about their childhood and sharing hilarious stories

-       George likes to mess with Fred when he’s high

-       For example

-       He’ll throw his arm around you and lazily lean into your side

-       Fred would watch closely from only a few feet away

-       George would then whisper into your ear, causing giggles to erupt from your chest

-       Which makes Fred jerk in annoyance

-       The weed didn’t help control his jealous- it magnified it if anything

-       Typically, he wouldn’t care since he knew George and you were extremely close friends

-       But Fred always got a little more… horny and possessive when the weed hit his bloodstream

-       Fred would pout until you noticed him and would comfort him

-       “Freddie, what’s wrong, bubba? You look so sad, aww.”

-       His jealously would diminish the second you moved away from George to his side

-       He loves when you hold his hand

-       Your favorite thing to do when high is play with his red, vibrant hair or when he would stroke and pet yours

-       Fred likes to attempt a braid in your hair

-       But he just ends up twisting two strands of hair in a coil then wrapped your black hair tie at the end

-       The gleeful, proud look on his face afterwards melted your heart so much you couldn’t tell him he failed miserably at a braid

-       You guys will place bets on who will slump first

-       It’s usually you or George

-       Fred and Lee will stay up until morning talking about life, school, quidditch, life goals, and anything else

-       Nights that you did get high with Fred in his dorm, he’d always insist that you sleep in his bed

-       He didn’t like taking the risk of you walking alone to your dorm room and risk getting caught

-       The last thing he wanted was you in trouble when he could’ve prevented it

-       You guys like to sneak into the kitchen after hours and make edibles together

-      Preferably marshmallow bar edibles or cookies

-       You liked to bring things with you for your smoke sessions with the twins

-       Like coloring books

-       A blanket, since Fred only sleeps with two which just seems criminal

-       A water bottle !!! this is a must

-       And some vanilla cherry Chapstick, Fred’s favorite

-       Fred’s favorite spot to smoke in along the Black Lake at night

-       Coming here with Fred will usually end with the both of you swimming in the lake

-       Whether it’s because he pushed you, you pushed him, or it was decided in the moment mutually that midnight was the perfect time for a swim

-      You liked smoking out by the lake as it was relaxing and fun with Fred

-       But you much preferred his dorm- it was the safest option by far

-       Fred loves getting high alone with you

-       Typically in his room as your roommates didn’t want people constantly in and out of the room as where Fred, George, and Lee were used to it

-       They made a handful of sales from their dorm room

-       Like a sinful amount 

-       It was by far the easiest way

-       Fred would light some candles before you arrived

-       A variety of sweets and snacks were sprawled against his bed

-        And warm fuzzy socks laid out for you 

-       He’d pack the bowl, then open the window

-       A blanket was thrown across the ledge so you could sit more comfortably

-       “What a gentleman!”

-       After smoking, Fred would carry you back to his bed

-       Most nights, you guys would just cuddle and whisper to each other

-       Fred never misses an opportunity to kiss you

-       On your lips

-       Forehead

-       Cheek

-       Nose

-       Neck (which will usually lead to something else with this boy)

-       Anywhere

-       Continuously giggling all night

-       Fred and you share your high thoughts

-       “But, just hear me out here. Is there another word for synonym?”

-       “Babe, who do you think came up with the alphabet? And how the fuck did they put the alphabet shit in alphabetical order.” “Darling, I am way too baked to even remember what fucking goes in an alphabet.”

-       High sex

-       Fred makes you feel so comfortable

-      Compliments you profusely 

-       Lot of laughing

-       He lovesssss going down on you when you’re both baked

-       Cause you make the cutest little noises, euphoria taking over your sense

-       He can stay down there for hours just basking in your sweet moans

-       Favorite is missionary so he can see every reaction gracing your face

-       Is only brave enough to try new sex adventures when he’s either high or drunk

-       Discovers that you both very much so enjoy his hand wrapped around your neck as he thrusts into you

-       And when you get on top

-       His touchy side comes out the most in these moments

-       Sloppy sex

-       But still vvvv fulfilling and pleasurable

-       He’ll whisper in your ear as his pace quickens

-       “You look so beautiful, sweetheart. So pure but so dirty just for me.”  

-       “Merlin, you’re bloody breathtaking with my fingers in your mouth, angel.”

-       “Freddie, you feel so good.”

-       You both finish within a matter of minutes, never lasting long when in this state

-       “…That was the best sex I’ve ever had, ever.” “Fred, lovie, you say that every time we have sex.”

“Cause it just keeps getting better and better!”

-       Cuddling for the rest of the night

-       Always making sure you’re dressed before George or Lee turn in for the night

-       Fred would fall asleep first when it was just the two of you

-       He talks in his sleep, nearly every hour he’d mutter something

-       In an odd way, you found it comforting

-       Especially when it’s your name he’s mumbling

-       Falling asleep in Fred’s arms

[cinnaminsvga]

Hug-o-gram Preview | Yoongi

→ summary:

“This is probably the dumbest idea you’ve ever had,” Yoongi hisses, but it’s kind of hard for Seokjin to take him seriously when he’s wearing a cardboard sign around his neck that says ‘Huggie Wuggie Machine!’ in bubble font. 

“Like, even worse than when we DIY’d your car into a convertible by sawing the top off?” Seokjin asks, genuinely curious. 

“Worse,” Yoongi admits, trying his best to stay out of your line of sight. His cheeks redden, matching the gaudy pink kitten ears he was forced into wearing.

{or alternatively: Seokjin is a terrible wingman. He also runs a profitable business by sending “hugs” to people’s crushes for a fee. Mix them together and you have a recipe for Min Yoongi’s worst nightmare.}

→ genre: college!au, hugging booth!au, fluff, humor → warnings: yoongi is so smitten that he’s a walking disaster, so much shy!yoongi to the point where you’ll want to *o*e him, seokjin just tryna get his homie some y/n love coochie bro ;o; → words: anticipated 10-12K  → a/n: who the fuck am i... why am i writing so much??? let’s all thank miss kwaranteen for that, my friends. but what’s with the fluff, you ask? thank miss @jincherie​ for that because her weak heart can’t handle angst so i have to use my limited fluff muscles to write this for her... anyway idk when this is coming out but its probs soon,, enjoy this lil snippet i guess LMAO 

“Yoongi, it’s time for me to head to work. You want to come with me today?” Seokjin asks, though he knows what answer he’s going to get. You see, Seokjin’s new booming business is another one of his fantastic ideas, but it is a little... inventive. Sure, Yoongi had scoffed when he had originally suggested the idea, but Seokjin knew that it was going to be a money-maker. Sure, it had taken a few years for the business to really take off, but once it finally did…

Enter Kim Seokjin’s Hug-o-gram Service! Students from his university are able to send anonymous payments directly to him, with little notes attached for their crushes. Each love letter delivery comes with a hug from Seokjin himself, delivered straight to the person without them ever knowing who the hug came from. It was ingenious! It was lucrative! But most of all…

It allowed Seokjin to cause drama and have an excuse for it! Nothing could have been more perfect for a man like him.

“No thanks,” Yoongi snorts, rolling over to face him. He watches from the floor as Seokjin changes into a butter-less shirt, which also happens to have his own face printed on the front and back. His trusty cardboard sign that reads “I’m Gonna Glomp Ya!” also joins his attire for the afternoon, a long piece of string tied to its edges so that he can wear it around his neck. Throwing on a pair of white sneakers with the tags still attached, Seokjin is ready to tackle today’s list of would-be hug-ees.

“How do I look?” Seokjin asks, combing his hair with his fingers. It leaves an oily sheen, which he somehow makes it work.

“Ugly,” Yoongi says, like a liar.

“It’s okay, I understand. I can speak tsundere, so you don’t need to explain,” Seokjin snickers, nearly getting hit with a TV remote by Yoongi. He opens his phone again, swiping to his e-mail to see his list of hug deliveries for the day.

Seokjin gets around 10 requests a day, with around half of them coming from regular clients. He’s especially fond of this boy who has been sending hugs to his TA named Namjoon for almost a month now. He has no idea why this kid has so much disposable income, though seeing the blush on Namjoon’s face everyday makes Seokjin think that he would spend every last penny for him too. Namjoon had begged Seokjin for his secret admirer’s identity, but snitchin’ isn’t a part of his service, unfortunately.

As much as Seokjin wants to know who is crushing on who, his little business wouldn’t work as well as it did if anonymity wasn’t included in his package deal. It allows people to thirst in public without facing the repercussions, like getting a knee to the groin or a slap to the face. Not that Seokjin has ever been at the receiving end of that; everyone loves him! Like, have you seen him? He must have saved a civilization in the past with how devastatingly beautiful his forehead is.

“Why am I suddenly filled with the relentless urge to deck you right now?” Yoongi says, getting up to change into clean clothes as well. His black t-shirt unfortunately does not have Seokjin’s face on it, but that can quickly be amended if the elder of the two decides to follow his every intrusive whim.

Seokjin laughs, completely unaware of the murderous capabilities of his friend. Due to his smaller body size, his percentage of evil is unusually concentrated. “Maybe it’s because you know that I’m into pain pla–” but Seokjin’s retort suddenly grinds to a halt. He chokes mid-sentence, coughing wildly as he pounds his chest with a balled-up fist. When Yoongi looks up at him, he finds his hyung staring slack-jawed at his phone, seemingly flabbergasted by what he finds on his screen.

“What’s the matter? Accidentally sent a dick pic to your prof again?” Yoongi snorts.

“That was one time! And no, it’s…” Seokjin trails off, uncharacteristically hesitant. He shifts his gaze from his phone to Yoongi, a drop of sweat quickly forming on the back of his neck. Yoongi raises a brow, silently urging him to continue.

Instead of replying, Seokjin hands him his phone. Yoongi finds a copy of one of Seokjin’s newest hug requests, only having just received it five minutes ago. As he scrolls down, he finds that this secret admirer is a new client, but that isn’t what made Seokjin stop in his tracks. Instead, it’s the recipient of the hug that catches his attention–

“Y/N has a secret admirer?” Yoongi says, voice cracking at the end. He clears his throat, trying his best to school his face into something less… jealous. He swivels away from Seokjin, forcing himself to breathe slowly through his nose. He convinces himself that he is the very epitome of calmness.

“You okay there, Yoongi? You look like you’re about to vomit,” Seokjin says, immediately breaking his inner peace. Yoongi groans loudly, shucking the phone over his shoulder, uncaring of where it lands. Seokjin, with his superhuman and God-given reflexes… doesn’t catch it. But he did dive to the floor like a seasoned Olympian, and his ass cushioned his phone so he supposes that’s a win.

Back to the matter at hand––

“I am fine,” Yoongi says, as he continues to not be fine.

From the floor, Seokjin shoots him a disbelieving look. He lies down more comfortably, propping his head on his elbow. Screw his hug-o-gram appointments for now; nothing brings him more joy than seeing Yoongi absolutely losing it. “Really? So you wouldn’t mind if I marched up to Y/N right now and give her the warmest, coziest, most tender hug of her fucking life?”

“Y… Yes,” Yoongi squeaks, neck glowing a furious red. He has his fists clenched (adorably) by his sides, head bowed as he faces the wall of their apartment. Seokjin’s brain makes the unhelpful comparison of Yoongi with that cat meme who says “no talk me angy” in Impact font.

Seokjin grins, his wickedness from within coiling and yearning to burst from his seams. This is it! Maybe if he pushes a little more, then maybe Yoongi will stop pining like a pathetic loser! Also, it didn’t hurt that he got to push Yoongi’s buttons while he’s at it, but hey! Not all heroes go to heaven or whatever.

He grabs his phone from his ass, scrolling back to the e-mail. “So… You wouldn’t mind if I walk up to Y/N right now and tell her ‘Hey! I’ve had an embarrassingly long crush on you and when I heard about this hugging service… I couldn’t miss the chance to shoot my shot! If you’re single and ready to #mingle, then please meet me at the Corner Cafe at 2 PM tomorrow.’” Seokjin sing-songs, snickering loudly when he sees the absolute pain etched onto Yoongi’s face.

There is a pause, and Seokjin waits as Yoongi uses his tiny kitty brain to think of what to do. He can only imagine what’s going inside his head, but he has a guess. Yoongi could either: 1) finally admit his feelings for you and come clean before Seokjin has to deliver your hug, or 2) do something stupid and counterproductive.

It comes as no surprise when Yoongi goes with option number––

[kuntrabida]

2. the axon snaps and thoughts can’t travel (a rant abt COVID-19, senior year spring, and college in the fall)

12 may 2020

the gap year. the fall sem. the jump cut. the FUTURE. much on my mind right now folks lmao (prob folk in singular since like one (1) person’s gonna read this ashvcxjkv)

okay so let’s break this DOWN ig. yea LET’S unpack my inner psyche and my mental baggage at this point because i’m sure that i can’t be the only one feeling this way and even if i am, i’d like to get it off my chest and not rant to the same five people who’ve heard me talk about the same sad subject throughout the entire duration of quarantine asdjfkvcxufdsw

let’s start with senior year haHA :) still haven’t gotten over that xoxo even tho i’ve tricked myself into thinking that i have! gonna refer to it as ye olde Jump Cut because that’s exactly what all this feels like... like mother nature just threw the video file of my high school experience into a fuckinn Premiere timeline or smth and slammed her fist on the W key (an esoteric reference, i know, i know, my bad, but iykyk). 

THE JUMP CUT – senior year’s over and i know it’s a stupid fucking thing to be upset about during a LITERAL GLOBAL PANDEMIC where people are losing and risking their lives and entire livelihoods are being upended but i still... can’t help but feel upset and terrified and devastated about what i’ve always viewed as this buffer period in my life between high school and college to just VIBE and figure myself out a little bit more being cut short. especially when, for once, things were going so well.  

god, the last thing i wanna do is sound dramatic and utterly tone deaf because I RECOGNIZE my privilege and how incredibly fortunate i am to have a roof over my head and food in my fridge and a bed with a damn duvet cover to sleep in at night but i’m... so fucking sad. i’ve BEEN so fucking sad, and i think what’s even worse is the fact that i’ve been DENYING how fucking sad i’ve been feeling because i don’t think i’m... allowed to be sad in this situation? but at the same time i consciously understand that my feelings are valid and everything... it just feels like legitimately everything else in the world right now dwarfs all my concerns combined. but alas. here i am, making a blog post about my feelings to finally try and sort them out...

i just aghsdfhxhzjlk i wasn’t finished. that really is the best way to put it. i wasn’t finished with any of it. and i suppose a lot of that is my own fault for taking all the good times for granted (but also lowkey the fault of idek who... american society? for romanticizing and commodifying the culmination of high school oop)/

i feel like so many people focus on those big milestone events associated with senior year: prom, graduation, senior awards, etc. but to me personally, and to nearly every one of the friends i’ve talked to, it’s the little things that matter most — the absence of which we feel the deepest. i miss spilling coffee on myself in the cafeteria and burning frozen pastries in the toasters and complimenting people’s outfits in the hallways and staying in the building from dawn till dusk and eating takeout on the floor and hastily texting my friends at the end of the school day asking if they wanted to hang out or if they could give me a ride home and i MISS spontaneous sushi and starbucks excursions and quiet heart to hearts in coffee shops and last minute target runs and stressing out about music events and belting in the practice rooms and learning choreography in parking lots where confused drivers would momentarily glance over and just KEEP ON DRIVING and lying on the ground in one of the school’s hallways facing the sun when the light would hit JUST RIGHT through the glass and i could close my eyes and pretend i was at the beach or on an island or in a canyon somewhere or SOMETHING, anywhere, anywhere but there. and i feel this chasm in my throat whenever i think about it because looking back at those moments, i realize that there’s literally no place i’d rather be right now than inside my high school building on a normal ass day dealing with normal ass problems with exceptional, radiant, life-giving souls there to have my back and support me and hug me wow, GOD, hug me. wow how i miss hugs. and I miss my friends. shit. 

hell bro i even miss the days where everything would become a little too much for me and i’d have to find recluse in a digital media classroom and the scent of old lemon-laced coffee grounds as they brewed into dingy styrofoam cups and wandered through the halls with me during the period, into the music room where i literally grew UP and found my voice and discovered validity in my own identity and all that JAZZ and into the bathrooms where i’d spend such subtle, unsuspecting mornings with friends still practically sleepwalking and FUCK bro. frankly i’m just not ready to jump into a life where all the things i hold dear are “remember when”s. i can’t imagine this entire world that i’ve built for myself being a thing of the past, a thing that i’ll look back on as one of the best fucking times of my life even though i never realized it when it mattered, a thing i still want so so so much more of, that i am not and may not ever be ready to let go. i want it all back. but i know getting upset over it is a futile pursuit, because there’s nothing i can do, and that just fuels this feedback cycle of anger and hopelessness and denial and back again. 

i do think of that good ol’ winnie the pooh quote, though. “how lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard.” but it doesn’t really make anything hurt any less. and i guess i’m just tired of hurting lol. 

THE FUTURE – dawg what the fuck is happening with colleges in the United States right now bro what is the protocol what do i DO¿

pretty damn self explanatory. my defense mechanism has ALWAYS been, “at least things will be better a couple months from now!!!!” and yeah, with university and the reality of getting to attend my dream college fast approaching i did believe that for a hot second but CORONA DAWG CORONA just plunges everything into the sea of uncertainty. i know i’m not the only one frustrated by this damn virus and i should be comforted by the unity we all have in our confusion but lmao i do not feel any better! no! one! has! any! answers! asdjfkvlcxvjl being a graduating high school and incoming college student right now is so FUCKING confusing and frightening and once again i want to acknowledge what an incredible privilege it is to even have the option of a higher education open to me but it’s such a multifaceted and unpredictable issue this year and thinking about the future — again my go-to defense mechanism and at the very least a worthy consideration since i’ll be putting down hella dollars for it — has been the cause of so much stress... 

THE FALL SEM – i! don’t! know! if! it’s! gonna! be! on!line! and i am not planning on staying in my house any longer for a goddamn variety of reasons soo i have no clue how to plan for this! no one does right now! 

our administration keeps affirming that we’re planning for a return to normalcy in the fall semester but a considerable amount of students and experts alike are saying that it’s essentially a cover so no one’ll panic and decline or defer their acceptances. SO MANY OTHER COLLEGES are revealing their contingency plans to have an online semester and ahaHA if i have to STAY in this HOUSE for ANOTHER 4 MONTHS that would FRICKIN SUCK DAWG lmaO i’ll leave it at that! so i’m: very much panicking! 

i know that things are so uncertain right now and there’s really no point in trying to predict what’s going to happen in the next couple of months because so many unknowns remain. i know that a lot of universities are gonna be in deep shit if they don’t open in the fall but at the same time, if it’s a damn public health risk it’s definitely better to keep as many people home as possible. but i have no CLUE what institutions are gonna end up doing and again, literally no one does either! i was listening to a podcast yesterday about university plans for the upcoming academic year and i got asdhvjckxv so stressed when they said that we could be one week away from the start of the school year and things could still be drastically different the next week... there’s just no way of knowing much of anything and god i hate that. it’s making me so goddamn anxious. 

i really doubt things are going to be back to normal in New York in the fall sooo...? i don’t know man again it comes down to asking people questions they don’t have the answers to and that’s just incredibly frustrating because i just want to know ONE THING for certain right now. ONE THING! idk i just wish that my college would be a little more transparent about their plans as they move along and figure things out but i know that’s not feasible. at the very least i hope things will be safe enough for them to make dorming on campus an option — freshmen have a pretty ample amount of singles available anyway. but if i have to spend the first semester of college onLINE in THIS HOUSE that’s... gonna suck. especially because i’m still probably going to be paying thousands of dollars for it which is, as my grandmother says, foul! 

THE GAP YEAR – to defer or not to defer? that is the question. 

so naturally in preparation for a potentially wonky ass academic year i’m considering deferring enrollment. but lmao... the deadline to do so is in uh *checks watch* three (3) literal days so. don’t know about that chief! 

like, i know i’m PROBABLY NOT gonna end up taking a gap year. but i guess it’s just the fact that i have so much more canvas space to daydream about it that makes it so appealing... there are so many more possibilities that i can think of that are more likely to be open to me. then again, nothing’s guaranteed. not even my own health in the fall. which is also pretty fuckin scary as hell.

y’all wanna know where i get my gap year daydream fuel? UNJADED JADE. bruh i’ve been binging her videos like MAD especially the ones where she interrails Europe during her gap year and UGH. it seems incredible. and that makes things even more confusing because i really don’t know what the right decision to make is right now. to defer or not to defer... 

again it’s all so heavily influenced by unknowns. of all the things that could happen, i’d much prefer to have a regular freshman year fall with the people in my class whom i’ve already been getting to know pretty well through groupchats and social media and the like. they’re a pretty dope bunch and i think college with them is gonna be a hoot and a goddamn half. but if i’ll end up just staying home and watching zoom lectures in my basement anyway... i’d much rather be taking a gap year. 

and i’ve been brainstorming what i’d do during this gap year (again, thanks Unjaded Jade for the god-tier content agh) and there’s just like... so many options. i could get a goddamn JOB and start saving up for tuition instead of paying tens of thousands for online school. hell with the money i make working full time i could probably save up enough to afford an apartment so at the very least i could move out of my house into a place where i feel more comfortable. and lmao I: s a l i v a t e at the thought of using that time to focus on my writing, too. the amount of writing i could get done in a year of empty calendar space... glorious. what an utterly glorious prospect. 

and of course, i’d love to fucking travel, volunteer (with a reputable and well-intentioned organization) in a foreign country, do a workstay abroad, take a train across america, but again, i don’t even know if any of that’s going to be feasible in the fall. it’s so FRUSTRATING because i’ll think of a possibility and then another one comes in and completely shuts the former down. 

and it’s not like i can ask anyone for advice right now because we’re ALL none the wiser. plus, i’ve realized that frankly, even if it’s unreasonable, i don’t want anyone to tell me that my plans for a gap year aren’t feasible. it’s such a petulant thing to say... but i don’t want anyone to add to my sense of there being a limited amount of options that i can take advantage of because everything’s already so goddamn stifling as is. i guess the prospect of a gap year excites me so much because it seems like a year where i don’t have to be defined by anyone or anything but myself. and that’s so fucking liberating. 

i just want the freedom to imagine right now because that’s when i feel happiest, but at the same time i’m afraid to get my hopes up for anything because i have this sinking feeling that the absolute worst case scenario is going to become reality. lmao. people in my state aren’t even fucking social distancing correctly so i’m damn sure that we’re in for a second and a third wave and that’s gonna suck but people are stupid as hell :)  

lol on that positive note, thanks for reading this... increasingly depressing and chaotic rant. don’t really think i’m doing this “blog” stuff right but if you got this far, i love you. leave a note if you so please, comment your thoughts, reblog if you’d like (still don’t really understand the difference between reblogging and reposting on this app but lmao feel free to click the boxy arrow thing), and stay safe and healthy and all that jazz <3

[ts-2020-olympics]

Episode 7 - “I wonder why you're not liked” - Nicole (& Ben)

Glad I sat out on that one - really didn't know anything Survivor related. Darcy's score of 12 is a huge shame, but gives me incentive to vote him out. He tried, he flopped, that's how it is. If it's me going this round, GGWP. 

Oh yeah! So, Nicole returned to the game.... Grrreat. It was probably the worst outcome I could have, but honestly, I don't want to dwell on it too long. With Nicole and Jacob both back in the game and Juls out of it, my fate looks worse and worse each day, as my list of allies continues to shorten and my list of enemies only gets longer. I feel very scared for the future, and rather trapped as of now, trapped between millions of possibilities, none of which have me doing very well. But hey, hasn't that been how it's been since Day 1 of this game? I started things off on Sonkei, a tribe so quiet I couldn't tell if I was running the show or on the bottom of everything until like 3 tribal councils in. A tribe where every new enemy I made would come back from the arena with a vengeance, and things only got harder. A tribe where I consistently lost challenges despite putting in my all. Then I got to nuMIraitowa, and my time here has been incredibly hectic. A bumpy road, to say the least. It's been a journey of gaining friends and then losing them, knowing people are lying but not knowing why, and just struggling to find the tiniest crack so I can get off the fucking bottom and just... SURVIVE. It's really been tough out here, and you can see the game starting to wear me down. My insanity is starting to come through in the main chats and honestly I've just lost all patience and tolerance that I had at the beginning of the game, the real me is beginning to show through. The one who lashes out, and desperately tugs at every heartstring possible, and says exactly what he's thinking without giving a fuck who's listening or the repercussions it might have down the line. Who makes everything public. I KNOW that these things are not typically good for my game, and yet, I just find myself so inclined to do them. Even though they've never helped me win anything, I can't help but be true to myself. I don't know, I guess I just feel frustrated. I'm at a place in ORGs where I feel so helpless, like I'm the victim of my own personality. I know exactly what's holding me back but I can't seem to just get past it. I guess I just keep hoping that one of these days, I'll play exactly true to myself, 100% me, and people will like that person enough to want to work with him or be happy to reward him a win. But it hasn't happened yet and I don't know if it can happen here anymore. I'm really struggling to push through. But, if there's one thing I'll never do, it's give up. Even when everything feels like it's caving in and I'm ready to just collapse, like I was saying earlier - no matter how much I want to do something, the real me ALWAYS fights back and does what it wants anyway. And the real me can't give up. Deep down in my core I always fight back, I always stand up for myself, sometimes even when I'm wrong. I just can't stand letting things go, and I know it's a character flaw, but hell, it's also a strength, and it's something I'm proud of, in a weird way. I don't want to be the player who gives in, never reveals anything, or plays it safe. I want to play it my way because if I don't, then how can I enjoy a win? How can I be proud of myself for winning if it wasn't ME that won? I have to win it my way, and sure, right now it looks difficult. VERY difficult. Maybe even impossible. But I'm approaching on the Final 16, and maybe, just maybe, a swap is on the horizon. Maybe new things are coming and maybe this entire game is about to reinvent itself for me. I've got allies in Jordan, Eve, Pete... potential allies in Caeleb, Ben, Sammy, Kevin... Maybe I could fix things with Emma. Honestly, who knows what's ahead. I'm very scared, partly, if that wasn't obvious by this big emotional confessional. But I'm also kind of exhilarated, this is exactly what Survivor is supposed to be and I can't wait for the next stage of the game. These are the Olympics, so it's go big or go home. Let's do this.

Hello again, this is Darcy here reporting with more confessing.  So, for starters, I still have yet to find something at the Olympic Village, which is really nothing new at this point of the game.   Now for the fun parts, my tribe lost Immunity, which not really surprising, since that kind of challenge I felt whoever had gold medal won that challenge.   So, we get to enjoy another tribal, where I am hoping for it to be Ben, since Ben is the one I trust the least, due to hearing about Ben wanting to come for me last round if I lost immunity, assuming that was a true tidbit anyways.   I have a feeling this vote could be between Ben and I, but here's to hoping Ben targets someone else and not me woo!   I do have enough trust in my alliance with Beck, Tommy and Karen though that us four should hopefully stick together to just take out the common enemy in Ben.   Then Ben may come back again with a gold medal, but if he does, I mean good for him.

I'm back, babes! Okay, so regarding my last confessional...I guess maybe I went a little too hard on some people. But, I was angry and validly so. Nothing much has changed even though I'm really good at faking forgiveness. About twenty minutes after I dropped in the FOUR AND A HALF HOUR PRESSURE COOKER, Sammy messages me asking to call!

I'm back babes! So as soon as I got back after the FOUR AND A HALF HOUR ENDURANCE, people were all of the sudden really happy to see me -- which was a LOT different than 24 hours prior! I talked to my best ally Kevin first, of course! I really hope at the end of the game Kevin's confessionals aren't like "oh geez and then I had to talk to Nicole, she's so annoying" bc I will be crushed, as a person he is just so nice and I'm so happy we have been given the opportunity to become friends from this game! So I talk to Kevin, then Caeleb and then...whatta know! Sammy! Right to the rescue, he wants to call after 1) voting me out 2) revoting me out. Now, long story short I made significant peace with Sammy through the phone call BUT something did happen that really did not sit well with me. While we were calling he said he DIDN'T want to apologize because we both did things wrong. Hm. Well, Sammy! Okay! I would have had more respect and less wariness of him moving forward if he did apologize but, he didn't. He kind of said like "ok so i know i lied about the advantages I had in this game and gave you nothing to trust me off of, got mad when you didn't trust me, then decided I was going to vote with Eve to get rid of you, revoted to seal your fate and called you out on a tribal call like 'if anyone wants to apologize now would be the time', but i don't think I NEED to apologize because, we were equally wrong.' Someone please explain to ME how exactly it is that we would be equally wrong when everything I did was to protect myself, and everything he did was because he had other people he could trust over me. Now that Juls is gone and he kind of showed his ass, he's now saying hey haha let's work together again though! I haven't decided if I want to do that, AND now I have a lot more options because people saw how kick ass I could be :) Speaking of the comp, it kind of grinds my gears that coming back in the last few messages before I entered again were Emma and Landen actively rooting against me. Landen, I understand. Emma...who even are you? Why do you hate me? lmao. Okay I may still be a little bit mad. Ben also as I'm typing this messaged me "I wonder why you're not liked", which is like hurtful but accurate. Anyway....I'm making at LEAST f15 now (bc my gold medal) so that's very fun, A+ content. I think we are swapping after this THANK GOD bc I have to get AWAY from this tribe. I hope I get to stay with either Jacob or Kevin, and maybe even get swapped with Jordan Pines or Karen so I can feel some semblance of security. I'll make a confessional about it next round bc :) im back :) hehe

anyway so this ugly ass tribe lost again. The only good thing to happen over the last few days is that nicole is back ugh I wasn’t ready to lose on of my allies skdjfkdjfj anyway so juls is gone and it’s down to me tommy Darcy beck caeleb and Ben, 4/6 of us are in an alliance and then there’s cae and Ben sjdjjddnjd obvs Ben is the choice to vote but also like bc it’s so obvious I’m scared that he’ll know and play an idol /: scares me bc I’m not 100% sure who he’d vote and he’s shown that he’s willing to vote for me at any moment so I’m just debating whether I should throw a vote at caeleb just in case to tie it or if I should let one of my alliance members potentially get voted out. Best case scenario if Ben plays an idol is that he votes for beck bc I don’t trust that hoe at all wkendkdndndn but yeah I haven’t had time to really talk to Ben so it’s prob too late to probe into his plans. Ugh I hope this tribal is quick & painless /: 

hello. confessional #472. i've survived another round so that's fun! i feel rly solid about the bonds i have with people right now so i know a tribe swap is incoming but that's for the best bc i'd rather not vote out anyone on yushu rn… so we'll see! 

Really mad I got voted out, feeling pretty betrayed by my tribe rn. 

I wish em didn't have to get voted out, but I'm pretty confident she'll fight tooth and nail to get back into the running..

Tribal just happened and we voted out Ben again in a unanimous vote. It was an easy vote I think either we are swapping into 3 tribes of 5 at Final 15 or 16, but if it's Final 16 the Gold Medal winner will be exiled. If we don't swap I think Ben will win the Gold and Beck the silver medal so we have a good chance of winning immunity incase there's another round before we swap. I'm really just trying to maintain get close to Caeleb because he's probably still skeptical about the whole Juls vote which I'm happy she's out because she's a threat but on the other hand she was so sweet it was sad she had to leave early. At this point I'm trying to maintain good relationships going into a swap and hope I get a good tribe that's strong and will leave me in the majority going into the merge. Also, at this point once Emma or Ben is officially voted out we'll be down to 9 returnees and 7 newbies so I really don't care if some of these returnees start hitting the road and going home. It's gonna come down to who wants to take me to the end and that's who I'm with. 

It's the end of the round, you know what that means? LAST MINUTE JORDAN PINES CONFESSIONAL TIME! It's america's favourite game show where Jordan Pines quickly makes a confessional at the last possible moment to not recieve a strike and tries to make his thoughts sound coherent. Let's Play! Whew this round was awful compared to every round so far in every aspect. First we get a challenge and I'm like... Oh Shit we can win this! and I work my ass of coordinating, doing most of the work for the tribe getting list ready in shit. And guess what it worked, we had the best scores over all and it wasn't very close... until you remember that each member of a tribe getting 20% on a challenge like this is basically a guaranteed win unless you are absolutely garbage. So we lose! Here we are and I have 4 people on my tribe including and I want to go far with all 3. Like I was at a loss. Not to mention the fact that I was having the day from hell where I could only be on for a minute like for the whole day. It ends up being emma and that fucking sucks cause emma is an icon. She has now won the duel and thank god I had some common sense not to blindside her and give her a heads up so that I can repair the relationship. Let's see how she feels about me tonight, but like I stand by it that I quote it here, in an ideal world i would go as close to the end with emma, shes iconic and i trust her a lot. I hope I havent damaged this relationship too badly! LET ME SWAP ALREADY!

I am tired of losing!! we’ve been attending tribal nonstop and it sucks. All these people are amazing. The vote was between Sarah and Em, Jordan was quite busy and didn’t care who left so it came down to my decision unfortunately. I decided em should go because I just don’t have a relation with her like I do with Jordan and Sarah. Luckily she won and is still in the game and got us gold <3 Jordan’s gonna try and do damage control with Em to keep her on our side. We’ve got a few advantages rn  and have been leading these tribals so I hope we stay in a good position. 

[kmp78]

DISCLAIMER AND RULES

These are the UPDATED directions/guidelines for all who want to participate/contribute to this blog. Our topics of conversation revolve mostly around 30 Seconds to Mars/the Leto Bros, but we have been known to also discuss various other current events around the world.

By reading, and especially by contributing, on what goes on around this blog, you are willingly agreeing with all guidelines and directions I have mentioned below - no exceptions.

I am willing to give a space to those who wish to discuss Mars (or other topics), and I am washing my hands from any and all fuckery that may ensue from other people´s opinions.

Also worth mentioning: I am fully aware that some people who publicly and very vocally denounce any interest in either this blog or Mars gossip lurk around this blog and then spread shit elsewhere on the internet. 

By doing that, you are essentially outing yourself as a quiet kmp78 admirer, so to speak. 

Or a fangirl, if that suits better. 🤗

Alright then... READ.

1.  This blog is laced with sarcasm, jokes, stupid and often very dark humor and PERSONAL OPINIONS - both mine and the people who participate in our conversations. This is not CNN, BBC or even Fox News - this is a personal blog run by a (sort of) fan. Not someone with inside information, and not someone whose opinions and views should be taken too seriously, and definitely not as gospel. I have no direct access to anyone in the Mars organization, and I do not work for them.

2. Nor do I work for YOU. This may be a blog which is mainly used for discussions about all things Mars and all opinions and topics are welcome, but the only one in charge is ME. I decide if a message gets published, if a message gets edited, if a message gets deleted - and if the sender gets blocked.

And not that it really needs to be said, but here goes anyway: I do not work for any Leto troll either.

3. And speaking of blocking: 

those who send threats or offensive messages will be blocked, as will anyone who I deem block-worthy. Rest assured, I never block anyone without a reason, so if you should discover that you have been blocked, that means I had a reason. I may or may not inform publicly when a person has been blocked, depends on my mood.

4. Everyone who sends messages is responsible for their own words - I do not accept any blame for other people´s opinions. Misunderstandings by accident or on purpose are not my headache. If I suspect a message will potentially cause unnecessary problems or annoyance for me, I will not post it (or will edit it), and  I don´t owe anyone any explanations as to why I´m not posting it. I may explain, or not - that´s up for me to decide. 

In any case, as I said: I will not take responsibility for anyone else´s words other than mine, and screaming at me over here or elsewhere online regarding comments someone else made and I posted...

Well, that´s just infantile. 🙄

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Readers to this blog should be adult enough to handle both sides.

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You also need to be able to tell the difference between calling a woman a whore and calling a Leto a whore. If you can´t understand the difference, then get out immediately.

SPECIAL CLAUSE:

the term “YACHT GIRL” when used in connection with an actually legit model who YOU ARE JEALOUS OF BECAUSE SHE GETS TO BONE A MAN YOUR FLABBY LOINS BURN FOR, actually is the equivalent of you calling her a whore, so kindly DO NOT.

Use whatever brain cells your parents genes bestowed upon you and make them at least somewhat proud. That should hopefully partially make up for the disappointment they most probably are already feeling knowing you actually read and participate in this shit.

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Think of it this way: 

when typing your message, if at any point you think that what you are writing might come across differently or more seriously to the person reading it than to you while writing it - then do not write it. Any innuendo about people´s potential “social diseases” is not welcome either, and neither are accusations of “obsessions” and people “stalking” the men this blog is focused on. Be VERY careful when using these terms. 

YOU are responsible for your own words. I cannot stress that enough.📣

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Do not use people´s real names in messages. 

If you do not know who a particular person is, please come ask via chat (directions on how to use the chat feature can be found here). I may or may not blur out a name in a message if I think it´s necessary.

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As for links to either newspaper articles, IG accounts, other blogs or the like: you can find credits to the sources by either clicking on the links, or if I have decided to post screen caps, in the pics themselves. Again, I do not write articles or make videos and very, very rarely post anything other than other people´s comments - after all, this is prominently a discussion blog now. Opinions/messages from other people represent THEIR views and thoughts, my views/thoughts can be seen in my answers (in case of submits or multi-part messages, you will find my contributions to the message after this sign: ***).

To make this very clear: we don´t make news here, we discuss them.

10. When sending submits, if you are unsure of others potentially seeing your “ID”, please mention in your message that you want to remain anon and I will post it anon. Also please remember tho that there is no such thing as complete anonymity - so be careful when writing down your thoughts. Censor yourself if necessary - don´t make problems for me or others, or yourself.

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If I out your IP, then there is a reason for it.

Don´t give me reasons if you want to remain in the shadows.

(And same goes for chat messages btw: don´t pretend to be my friend in private, but then turn your back and stab me in it in public. More often than not I WILL find out, and if I choose to then out your bullshit by posting private messages, THAT´S ALL YOUR OWN DOING, KIDDOS.

Play nice with me and you have nothing to worry about.

Start kicking dirt in my face and...🤷‍♀️

12. If you are addressing your message directly to someone (= other than me), please say so CLEARLY in your message, for example by starting your message with “For anon who said...”, or something along those line. I have had it with misunderstandings and unnecessary messes due to unclear messages! BE SPECIFIC!

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16. READ PREVIOUS MESSAGES! READ PREVIOUS MESSAGES! READ PREVIOUS MESSAGES! READ PREVIOUS MESSAGES! READ PREVIOUS MESSAGES! 

I´m beyoooooooond bored answering the same questions over and over again, sometimes in the space of just a few hours! The archives and search option are available on my blog for a reason! USE THEM. 😠

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If a situation arises which calls for “immediate attention” (new troll pics or other sudden Mars-related activity, for example), I may leave older messages for later and focus on newer ones first. Also when I am operating on my mobile, I am often unable to post certain messages (videos etc.), so those will be left for later when I am back to an actual computer. 

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When I run out of allowed posts here, I will let everyone know that I am switching over to use the secondary blog which can be found at @kmp78secondaryblog

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THIS IS A FANDOM FOR A BAND. NOT A MATTER OF LIFE AND DEATH. ACT ACCORDINGLY.

Creating hater accounts dedicated to POSTING PICTURES OF MY BLOODY EYEBALL (that btw actually happened because of course it did! This is the echeLOOOOOON after all! 👍) won´t make me quit this blog, so...

Yeah.

Anyway, for further information, please contact me via private message here, on my IGs, or at kmp78@yahoo.com.

Thank you. 🙏

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Be very aware that my tolerance for that is less than zero - and also be aware that these guidelines and my rules may change whenever I feel the need to change them.

#DEAL ✌️

[crowntaken-a]

- ̗̀✰ •【 TIMOTHÉE CHALAMET / CISMALE / 24 】announcing the arrival of his royal highness, ( DMITRI VOLKOVA ), the ( CROWN PRINCE ) of ( BELARUS ). I’ve heard that he is ( DOGMATIC ) & ( DRAMATIC ) but can also be ( RESPONSIBLE ) & ( CREATIVE ). ( DMITRI ) is arranged to marry ( ANY FC ). Rumor has it ( HIS FAMILY STOLE THE THRONE FROM THE RIGHTFUL HEIRS ). We hope you enjoy your stay at London!

hi friends ! i’m pluto, i’m 21, and i’m sure i’m about to ramble about dmitri for WAY too long and in a WAY too messy fashion. let’s get started ! 

HISTORY ( brief abuse mention tw ) 

dmitri was born to andrei & hanna and he was followed by two siblings

bc he’s the oldest, he was treated fairly different. their parents were strict overall but more so on him bc ! he’s probably going to be the king someday and they wanted to make sure he stayed in line. 

that meant special tutors and a lot less free time. he couldn’t tell u whether he learned english, belarusian, or russian first tbh 

it was also thanks to the tutors that he found a lot of enjoyment in writing, music, and art. an artsy boy. 

his willingness to cooperate with the life of royalty has been .. on a rollercoaster. as a child it was all he knew, but as he got older he became less and less interested in becoming a king bc he never really got a chance to just be a kid and have fun and he wanted that . promises of grandeur meant nothing when he just wanted to do his own thing 

he finally got the chance when he was 15 when his parents decided that boarding school was the best option for their kids and o ! boy ! did they regret that. for dmitri, at least. he behaved well for the first few months, not wanting to totally fuck things up, but little by little did the rebellious streak kick in. 

they brought him home after one party in particular and they finally let him in on their little family secret which was that their family ? not exactly the rightful heirs to the throne. before, during, & right after the war their family had been second only to one family. they seized their chance as soon as they could ( did they frame them for something or assassinate them ? it is a mystery.mp3 . bc i’m not sure yet. ) so God Help Him if he did anything to put a stain on their family u know ?

so holy fk did his attitude ever change. it suddenly felt like every mistake he made would be responsible for ruining their lives 

he went back to boarding school and began to behave a Lot better, but his parents checked in often bc they were sure if they let go of the leash again he would right back to his antics but he was definitely freaked out enough to not do anything too bad lmao. he got a bit more leeway when he went away to university in the uk ( idk where yet exactly. england ??? )

i’m sure there was a slip up or three while he was away tbh 

and to boot, he’s told 0% of people his secret. not even his siblings 

while he’s not totally on board with the summit, he knows he needs to commit to it bc he doesn’t know what would happen if he didn’t and he doesn’t want his siblings to have the same level of responsibility that he does -- although their’s is still pretty up there 

so ya ! he became a lot more obedient thanks to the secret being spilled but he’s found freedom where he can. the restrictions now mostly come down to his marriage and his behaviour in public. his dad’s p nasty (read: abusive) but at this point he’s conditioned to it 

he figures he’s got additional freedom away from home. specifically being that he’s at the summit where he’s going to get married to whoever his parents want him to 

provided he doesn’t do anything terrible in public, he figures he is in a pretty good spot 

PERSONALITY

responsible: having an obligation to do something, or having control over or care for someone, as part of one's job or role. in short, this is v specific to his responsibilities as the crown prince and he is very good at it. all the politics and behaving well, he’s got it covered. this isn’t to say that he can’t be reckless because he most certainly can be -- when it comes to other things. he’s also a pretty adventurous guy when he gets the chance. 

creative: relating to or involving the imagination or original ideas, especially in the production of an artistic work. as i mentioned before, he’s an artsy dude ! he loves the arts. music, writing, and art are all things he can rly appreciate. he’s not spectacular with instruments or with drawing, but he does like to doodle and he enjoys listening to all kinds of music and analyzing art regardless of his own ability. writing is something he can do, though. catch him waxing poetic in his journal. but don’t actually bc he wouldn’t let you read it anyway. 

dogmatic: inclined to lay down principles as incontrovertibly true. he is one STUBBORN mf. he’ll listen to a differing opinion but just know that his thoughts almost entirely consist of: you’re wrong, i’m right. 

dramatic: (of a person or their behavior) intending or intended to create an effect; theatrical. he’ll make a big deal out of anything baybee !!! anxious might’ve been a better word to use and this is definitely due to the strictness of his parents. small things seem so intense and he will make a big deal out of them. he’s 99% sure he’s the cause of everything bad in his life 

beyond the traits i put in his app, he’s also a ( relatively ) honest guy

i like to think that he’s a charming guy but we’ll see how well i can write charming LOL. but regardless of how well i write it, know that back in belarus most ppl love him bc he’s that charming. now just imagine that i write him like that 

he’s chill af and if ur a chill person, he’s easy to get along with. he also RLY appreciates nice people. i wouldn’t say he’s more nice than the average guy so finding someone who practically majors in nice is something dmitri likes. 

he’s a fun-loving guy !! he might not be able to go out and get crazy but he likes to play games of all kinds, go bike-riding, he rly likes to climb stuff, sit in mutual silence and read, etc. he’ll also still party behind closed doors but it’s a v specific setting. 

there’s prob more to say but idk rn 

CONNECTIONS

friends thank you ! new ones, family ones, childhood ones, i want it all.mp3

it’d also be goals af for him to have 2 close girl friends so i can reblog this lmao 

enemies thank you ! 

cousins 

if ur character is from russia or ukraine, hmu tbh bc neighbours and his family probably visited those countries the Most 

maybe someone that he was potentially going 2 be betrothed to but their family had a falling out and they had to keep it lowkey 

ex fwb 

ex relationships 

i’m the very bad at connections but uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh i need everyone to please hit me up and plot with me immediately 

[survivormykonos]

Episode #1: “everyone knows I’m here for the drama™️” ~Robbie

First impressions these people are basic players who wont have very big personalities, and not willing to put a lot of effort into this game. Hopefully thats not the case and its just late so no one is really wide awake :) Because I came to play and I hope thats what everyone else came here to do as well 

Okay so my plan basically worked, winning the first reward competition by placing a good score has opened up one of many avenues to come. Ryan, and Zeezo want to work with me (bad choice for them since I will be winning this aka taking them out eventually but oh well)

Him hitting it off really well with this tribe they are all so friendly and welcoming, Ain is my main homegirl at the moment she is the best and jared is a nice friendly face so it should be interesting to see what the coming days are like.

so not 30 minutes in and meowth comes out with the question "what if someones racist" which to me carried an air of accusation it was public and clearly meant for all to see it just gives me a bit of an icky feeling towards meowth

I'm glad that others are getting higher scores than me because i definitely don't want to be presenting as a threat in challenges particularity not the first day so i just am hoping that ill land middle of the pack challenge wise

so this immunity is fun i love puzzles like these even though they are hard tbh im not completly happy about our chances but i hope we can push through and win or the other tribes internet fucks up, either or really

so right now the vote seems to be between Robbie and Mewoth (Josh) and tbh i dont care which goes because they havent spoken to me but whatever, in any case id rather keep someone who actually contributed to the challenge and if he doesn't step it up then Josh will be gone next

Going into tribal council i am very nervous, you never know where the vote is until the votes are read and if im on the wrong side of the vote i might not be around much longer

I dont know whats gonna go down here but i hope i do well

reunited with lukas my love

she sells seashells at the seashore

why is the first vote already so confusing and wild.... just decide on a person

WHATS UPPPP!!! Can’t say much because I’m busy but I’m stoked!!! Only two other girls on my team tho :/ but it’s ok! I have Stephen who I know but I’ll get into all that later and I have lukas and Sammy on the other tribe who I LOVE TO DEATH but obviously can’t tell anyone that. Ain is on the other side who I hate but I just hope she gets voted out and we never have to interact :’)

Honestly, living my best life and enjoying the brief small talk with my tribe mates. So far getting a good vibe from everyone but lets be real, shit (I can curse right... I lowkey have always wanted to say that) is definitely going to go down as soon as something goes wrong. But like *shrug*. 

OK LET'S TALK ABOUT THAT TIME THAT I DIDNT WANT TO GRAB THE LIGHT AND SHINE IT ON ME AND WE WIN FIRST IMMUNITY AND I GET SENT TO PARADISE ISLAND!!!!!!!!! Yeah, because like, screw the idea of trying to lay a tad low for the first vote. But hey, I guess when you are working with Zeezo and she tells you the immunity boxes must be evens because of the clue she got, and then you get sent to PI, it can't be all that bad. I'm so shook I don't even know if I'm making sentences rn hahaha. I hate saying this, but like I am so happy with where I am rn, but I def know there is so much more work to put in before my tribe ends up going to tribal. AND SPEAKING OF TRIBES, WHET ON EARTH? Two abstains in the reward and then a tie and only two points in the immunity challenge for Yalos? Did they also think they were cast in ANTM because like same. We've all been there, amiright? Can they continue to do this so I can just breeze my way to merge and start playing this game already??? Please and thank you. 

When I wake up and realize I have so much work to do for school but at least I don't have to worry about going to tribal tonight! I aint mad! At least Im not gonna be the Francesca of this season soooooooo..... 

So... ya boy just beat Jared in a word search comp... and beat him... and went to Super Paradise Island... and idk which greek god is on my side, but one them has ya boy's back because he just the sapphire gem... Like no big deal... I didn't expect to be the first voted out and then just somehow came across getting one of the first big advantages of the game... WE ARE ALL FINE GUYS!!!

I have Oakley, who voted me out on Athena: Himalayas and Olivia, who I voted out on Atomic: Isle of Skye on my tribe. And my immediate thought is I want to work with them. Olivia more than Oakley, I don’t have any beef with him from another season but he is sneaky. However my strategy especially at this point in the game is just make lersonal connections and pretend to have the strategic knowledge of a goldfish. Here’s hoping it works.

So far I’ve talked to most people but some are easier to connect to than others, Joanna seems the most distant, she responds but it doesn’t feel friendly. But we won, so we’re all good this round. I really hope Ain goes home, shes manipulative, vindictive and isn’t afraid to use underhanded tactics.

WOAH! So after being recommended to play by a friend, I found out he ALSO recommended Miles to play, although in the other tribe.. I have someone I know here although I kinda got them eliminated in a Twitter Survivor... Hmmm... So far in Kalafati tribe, Im liking Miles and Joanna, Haven't had much contact with the others but they seem really cool. Im so excited to play, Especially with winning a lucky hidden immunity Idol

I’m still waving the flag

I’m still waving the flag I hate that challenge. I got a respectable score but if i did all that just to have the Yalos player stop after a low score, I'll be sad

My first impressions of the tribe is pretty positive! No immediate negative figures jump out at me. I'm still testing the waters, trying to figure out if any people are potentials for alliance members. Some people like Olivia, Jacob, Miles, Stephen and Thomas have reached out to me which makes them seem like good potentials for friends. However, I want to see how the reward challenge goes before I can evaluate my teammates further. 

It's amazing that we won the reward challenge and I'm so happy that I performed as well as I did. However, I am worried about the immunity challenge. I'm happy with the flash game, but the controls are really wacky and I already know it will take forever to get used to.

I'm honestly a little worried seeing that I didn't preform very well in the immunity challenge. Thankfully, we still managed to pull off a win and we didn't have to worry about tribal. Speaking of tribal, I don't think there is anyway Robbie is going to stay, seeing that he abstained in the reward and striked in the immunity. Also, I feel like I want to work with Olivia, but Miles also seems like a good person to work with, but I haven't approached either of them yet. Still weighing my options and figuring out the best way to proceed. 

Honestly it doesn’t seem like anyone is playing hard yet which is annoying me. Because I want to play hard, but if no one else is people can get sketched out by highly strategic, social players

Honestly if I finess this vote and stay in the game after forfeiting two comps it will be hilarious. But everyone knows I’m here for the drama™️ Hope no one gets blind sided

So the first night went..... alright. My tribe wasn’t as energetic or as talkitive as I had expected. It appears as though I am on a tribe with all gay men, which sounds nice in theory, but I’m bracing for the moment these twinks start wildin. Aside from the gays, I know Ain from a past org and am starting to warm back up to her. We will probs stick together for awhile. As of now, that’s all. 

Robbie, queen of being inactive and making cases to stay last minute, came to me with the idea of booting Meowth instead. I said hell yeah! All for that shit! Not that I don’t like Meowth, it’s just I would love to do something unexpected for the first tribal. However, Sammy and Michael seem to be so against it for some reason. Lord knows why. I’m going to aim to be in the majority, but I may just cast my vote for Meowth for the hell of it. 

Ok I don’t quite remember what my last confessional was but I know for a fact I fucked up the names. Robbie is the one on the line, Sammy is just another gay. I swap their names all of the time. 

I really like this tribe so far! Everyone seems pretty chill and it's nice to know that at the moment, nobody is really mean-spirited. I know that Jacob has some past with the other Miles, but he's on the other tribe, so there's really no past relationships to deal with either, at least that I know of! I think that by far, I'd probably like to align with Olivia and Joanna for sure, and maybe Stephen, Zeezo,  Oakley, and Julian as well? I'd rather not get into scheming this early! I think it'd be much better for my game at the moment not to be the leader or figurehead of a group, but rather an updated member. I guess I'll have to see!

Alright so... Not a whole lot is going on, it's just the start of the game, we're just doing the first reward challenge. This tribe is just a bit too large for my taste but whatever, I'll manage. Getting to know all these people is interesting, which is funny because the absolute LAST word I would use to describe myself is "interesting"

I'm not entirely sure what use one would have for a fire making kit in an online survivor. Am I meant to set my laptop on fire? ARE YOU TRYING TO TELL ME SOMETHING????????? lmao...

There's a few people that I'm getting great vibes from. Miles would probably be the biggest one rn. I would love nothing more than to get some sort of alliance going sooner rather than later JUST IN CASE but like I don't want to be the one to actively go out and do it because if someone leaks RIP ME. Idk what I'm doing just yet. We'll figure this out.

We won the first immunity and don't have to vote anyone out, that's awesome. I can't help but feel just a little concerned though, everyone's almost a little TOO peaceful on this tribe. I'm not saying I'd want to LOSE a comp and have to face tribal but the reads I'm getting from everyone is giving me a sense of unease. I do enjoy winning though and wouldn't mind winning out. I'm just saying, I feel very uneasy with the vibes I'm receiving. Good lord I just repeated myself there. Oh well.

I really like this tribe so far! Everyone seems pretty chill and it's nice to know that at the moment, nobody is really mean-spirited. I know that Jacob has some past with the other Miles, but he's on the other tribe, so there's really no past relationships to deal with either, at least that I know of! I think that by far, I'd probably like to align with Olivia and Joanna for sure, and maybe Stephen, Zeezo,  Oakley, and Julian as well? I'd rather not get into scheming this early! I think it'd be much better for my game at the moment not to be the leader or figurehead of a group, but rather an updated member. I guess I'll have to see!

I think I'm pretty safe after this immunity challenge. I was one of 2 people to win the head to head for my tribe and therefore I have a chance to go to Paradise Island! I'm trying my best NOT to go though because I think that would put a target on my back very early on.

Right now my closest ally is Matt and I feel that we have a strong bond. We're each other's #1's and talking back and forth over who should go tonight. I'm very torn for who I'm voting for at tribal tonight, it's either Meowth (Josh) or Robbie. I've heard that Robbie may have gotten the majority but I don't feel 100% on wanting him still in the game. Yes, Meowth is weak in challenges but he's another easy vote moving forward in the future.

So, what's been going for me so far?  Well, reward challenge I busted my ass and showed what I can do, which was great!  WE lost, which sucks, and 2 people didn't submit.  Those 2 were Miles and Robbie.  This made me upset, mostly because Miles I know from my Minecraft UHC days, so we made an instant alliance from that.  Robbie I didn't care about.  Then came immunity, where once again, Robbie was unable to compete, and I still stand by that I was robbed in my challenge because of a shit quality image, but this is what I'm used to from online games like this, so I'll move on (eventually).  We got rekt in immunity, and the obvious choice was looking like Robbie for not submitting twice.  So, being the intelligent player I am, I basically pitched to Robbie that he was going home unless he made a better pitch about someone else.  He aimed at Michael, someone who I somewhat wanted to work with at the time (in hind sight, I wouldn't have cared much).  I proposed, instead, we vote for meowth (Joshua) because he just rubbed me the wrong way, under-performed, and refused to talk game strategy with me at all.  I pulled in Lukas and Jared, as well as had Ain in my pocket, and with the acquiring of Sammy by both me and Robbie, the vote should be set in our favor.  I'm still trying to convince Miles to roll with us so he's not on the losing end of the vote, but I think its 50/50 whether he will or won't.  Honestly, I feel pretty safe with this vote, being that I was a top performer and have shown how active I strive to be in these games.  I'm not super worried about this vote and hope that Robbie sticks around.  Hopefully, he becomes a powerful player and a big help in challenges.  If he's not, he'll go next for sure.  Let's hope I don't live to regret these words!

I think I’m in a pretty safe spot right now, but we def have people who think they are running the show around here...SIT DOWN or else you’ll become a target early😉 but I like everyone just don’t know who we should keep...someone who hasn’t been active or someone who tries but does not communicate. Eh either way I’m not on the chopping block sooooo. Okay wow that sounds rude but um i like everyone:) yikes

Honestly, this is a fung ame and a fun set of people. Just hope my time here isn't too short.

So far I feel pretty good about my tribe even though there a couple people I forgot to ever talk to oops. We seem to be good at challenges and get along well. I've connected most with Ryan so far and told him my idol clue to gain his trust. He's told me he trusts me the most out of anyone so that's good. After we talked we decided to pull in a 3rd and settled with Thomas since he got the best score in the reward challenge. After consulting with Ryan I decided to share my clue with Thomas too and the 3 of us officially performed an alliance. I think with this alliance my goal is to think more long term. Thomas is probabaly going to on Tinder performing well at challenges and be a shield for me. He also doesn't seem to talk to a lot of other people. Meanwhile Ryan seems like the type of person who might play too hard so he could be another shield. Plus we get along really well so far so that's good :') We might pull in a 4th for the alliance later since Thomas is kind of inactive and Ryan suggested Stephen so I'm interested to see how that will pan out. In other news Ryan got sent to paradise island and got the sapphire gem thing so that's great :') So if one of us finds the idol we should have great power in the game so I'm looking forward to the rest of the game 

Nothing is going really because we have been on a winning streak and have been crushing it. I knew Stephen from a previous game and we agreed to work together. He is not being extremely subtle about it but I think he wants to work with Olivia because he has mentioned her a lot and how he likes her. I don't mind that because I do like her but I am worried about the two of them being closer to each other than to me because I know they know each other. I am really liking Ryan as well and would like to work with him. I am worried I am not being as social as I should be because I do notice that I don't talk to as many people as I would like. Miles I have talked to a bit but haven't built much of a relationship with him and everyone else I have said hi to and talked to a bit but I haven't really built anything or know anything about them. I just hope we can win long enough for me to build those relationships because I am worried that I am one of the two people to lose my round in the immunity challenge.

[ralphmorgan-blog1]

The 6 Stages of Santacon

Listen up, people, because a dark force is about to descend upon New York City this weekend, and that force is Santacon. For those of you who don’t know what Santacon is, it’s an event that takes place once a year where people dress up like slutty elves and puke on the streets—all in the name of Christmas! Normally, I’m in full support of any and all events that encourage you to black out before noon and dress up in costume, but Santacon takes this shit to a whole new and terrifying level. How do I explain this in simple terms? It’s like when God decides to test humanity, and we fail so miserably that She thinks about smiting us all and starting anew. Kind of like that, ya know? And if you think I’m exaggerating about this abomination disguised as a bar crawl, then just you fucking wait, because I’m about to break it down stage by stage for you, sort of like how Dante was kind enough to indicate the different circles of Hell. You’re so welcome.

STAGE 1: HOPEFUL ENTHUSIASM

This is the first—and most important—stage of the event. You’ve prepped for this stage by only having one drink last night saving your strength. You feel good, your liver feels good like the one you started college with. You have the costume, your day drink of choice, and the Insta filters that best compliment your slutty photogenic side. Everything is as it should be. Now, do you feel that hope? That absolute optimism? Hold onto this. Cherish these memories for when you’re hysterically crying because the dude in the shirt that says, “You can slide down my chimney,” didn’t want to feel you up in the Uber at the end of the night.

STAGE 2: IMMEDIATE OUTFIT REGRET

This stage occurs about two minutes after walking into the pregame. The outfit you thought made you look like a reason your grandmother prays for you sexy but cute now looks like you cobbled together pieces of fabric from the garbage, especially when you stand next to that Instagram model in line for the cups. And, on second thought, you probs shouldn’t have left your coat at home just so everyone could see the festive bra you bought just for today. What does hypothermia look like again?

STAGE 3: FUCK, I’M NOT DRUNK ENOUGH FOR THIS SHIT

Oh, you want to bar hop now? Even though I just opened a tab and we waited 45 minutes to get into this shithole of an establishment in 35 degree weather? K. These are the thoughts that will run through your mind after you and your squad descend upon the first bar supporting this godforsaken event. It’s at this point that you’ll start to question why you’re like this. After walking into the bar, your immediate reaction will be to back away slowly from the crowd of Santas aggressively singing Mariah Carey Christmas tunes and guzzling Bud Light. You can’t tell if the guys here are hot or not and if the gut he's sporting is part of his costume or if he just has a dad bod. The bar, you’ll soon realize, is like something out of . There are people swarming the bar the same way the Careers swarmed the cornucopia for weapons. You realize if you don’t start pounding vodka sodas soon, you might be the first cannon fired have to soberly interact with the man leering at you behind his Santa beard. May the odds be ever in your favor.

STAGE 4: DUCK I’M NOT FRUNK ENOUGH FOR THIS SHIT

Look, I’m not gonna lie; your only shot at coming out of this thing alive with your sanity intact is to black out as fast as humanly possible. Once you’ve reached this stage in the day, you’ve achieved your goal of getting blackout. Suddenly, everything you hated about the bar—the Mariah Carey Christmas music, the Bud Light spillage, the fact that you’re out in public dressed like Santa’s little hoe hoe hoe—is completely forgotten. You’ve made out with at least three Santas now—or maybe they were the same Santa? Idk. Honestly, it’s too hard to tell. You’re acting like this bar is your own personal thot playground, and you’re loving life. It doesn't even matter that you accidentally flashed a nipple too much holiday cheer because THIS IS SO MUCH FUCKING FUN!!!

STAGE 5: THE BEGINNINGS OF A BLADDER INFECTION

Ah, my favorite stage. The one where if you don’t pee soon, you might end up with a small bladder infection. That’s when you realize leaving the bar and running back to Brooklyn to use your own bathroom at home might be the faster option. The line for the bathroom is longer than the one you waited in to get into this literal trap house, and it’s filled with angry bitches in Target onesies timing peoples’ pees. You wait through, like, 10 seconds of this before the desperation kicks in. You’re at the point where you’d trade your first born child rose gold iPhone for a spot at the front of the line because you don’t even care anymore; you just have to pee so bad, SO WOULD YOU PLEASE HURRY THE FUCK UP, PEOPLE.

STAGE 6: WHY AM I LIKE THIS

Honestly, it’s best not to question yourself. The fact that for the last six hours, you’ve been grinding on some dude, who could be dressed as Rudolph or could just be someone who favors the color brown, is neither here nor there. Don’t think about how you almost pissed your leggings TWICE or that you drunk texted your hookup to see if he wanted you to “guide his sleigh tonight.” Nah. Don’t do that to yourself. Not now and definitely not tomorrow when you sober up and realize you spent $40 on pizza last night... for just you. In fact, it’s probably best if you try to black out the entire incident at least until next year’s Santacon rolls around, and then you can find new and interesting ways to hate yourself. 

Until next year, betches.

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