#but I do like the idea of taking care of the people we have before we worry about adding more

[alchemistc]

i like your voice in person

Evan's staring at the bed like he's trying to navigate a minefield.

Six months ago that would have sent Tommy on another journey of self-deprecation, a reminder that he'd known Evan wasn't ready for this, known this was a possibility, but Evan, for all his own insecurities, knows what the hell he wants and if he'd felt even an ounce of pressure or remorse up to this point he'd have said something long before now.

Sometimes Evan likes to work it out himself, and sometimes he needs a little nudge, and Tommy watches the head tilt and the angle of his pursed lips for cues as he settles under the sheets.

"Something on your mind?" he prompts, and Evan blinks, like he hadn't realized he'd gotten lost in his thoughts.

"Uh...nothing, maybe."

"Sounds like something, probably."

Evan's smile tilts up at one corner, and he settles on the bed a little stiffly. "It's nothing major. Just. Something I've been thinking about?"

He can feel his brows jumping, can see the way Evan takes in the look with a fond expression. Evan steels himself for something -- they're still muddling through past experiences and learning how to be a bit more intentional in some of their conversations, because they both have a bad habit of reverting to flirting and deflection.

"You remember what we talked about last weekend?"

Tommy can genuinely remember about 93 percent of what he and Evan talk about at any given time, which is an astronomically high number and not at all an exaggeration. He'd be embarrassed about it if he didn't have clear evidence that Evan was as deep into this as he was.

They talk a lot, is the thing, about inconsequential shit just as much (definitely more) than the important stuff. They talk far more than Tommy can remember talking in any other relationship he's been in. But Tommy can pinpoint the exact one he means.

"You mean the roles thing."

Evan hadn't been a stranger to a little daddy talk in bed when they started to explore it, and he'd brought it up right at the start for a reason, but Tommy had taken a while to come around to the realization that Evan had sort of internalized the 'I don't have daddy issues' of it all in a way that Tommy hadn't actually meant it. There'd been little things, here and there; like Evan reaching a door before him and then bashfully waiting with it half open like he'd made a misstep; like twisting his mouth a little funny when he snatched the bill from the table before Tommy could get it. Little things.

Things that, in the abstract, yeah, Tommy liked to do for his partners, but in reality weren't actually that big a deal to him.

He'd needed to clear the air.

Evan nods. Curls a hand around his knee before he shifts his body so that he's facing Tommy. "So, I like taking care of people."

(A conversation, a month ago, Evan grimacing around "My therapist says I have to stop calling myself a people pleaser in a derogatory way.")

Tommy hums, something to remind Evan he's listening.

"And I guess I sort of built up this idea in my head that that was like, a hard stop with you."

("Everyone likes being taken care of sometimes, Evan.")

"And I'm not -- I'm not upset at you, or like, feeling guilty, I just -- I've been thinking about it, and I feel like I forgot to ask you how you wanted to be taken care of."

The thing with Evan is that no matter how often he'll deflect with a joke, when he wants to say something serious he's blunt as hell about it. There might be some hemming and hawing to get there but sometimes he says things that just make Tommy wonder if he'd ever actually learned how to say things before Evan.

"I don't really have a list, babe," he says, and then sort of hates himself for it. Deflect, distract, hey baby how about I blow you about all these big feelings inside my chest I can't articulate.

Evan, though, Evan squinches his eyes and runs a heavy hand through his hair. "I...sort of do?"

"Lay it on me."

Evan grins. "That's actually one of the things on my list."

Tommy blinks. Tries to figure out that trail of thought, but he's coming up with nothing. "Okay, can you expand on that?"

"Like --listen, you know I'm a huge fan of being the little spoon. I'd let someone put screws back in my leg just for continued little spoon privileges. But sometimes I miss being the big spoon, and in my head the idea sounded so stupid to bring up but now I'm wondering if, like, maybe I've just been denying you the joy of being the little spoon?"

Tommy thinks of Evan's hands spread big and warm across his belly, of knees tucked up behind his, warm breath on the back of his neck like when Evan stumbles up behind him in the mornings whining about coffee, and maybe he blue screens a bit because he's never actually dated someone so close to his own size, because there's always been an assumption at the outset that he wouldn't want that.

Alex had been a little too into the same dynamic he'd seen Evan stumbling through, and Colin had hated sleeping with someone's flesh touching his own. Beyond that he hadn't really dated anyone long enough to really form a preference.

Maybe Kara might have been willing, back when he'd been closeted enough to pretend it wasn't an effort to get it up when she had his dick in her mouth, but they'd been young enough that staying the night wasn't really a consideration.

"And like -- listen, I don't necessarily prescribe to gender roles as a thing in general, but a few weekends ago I spent like twenty minutes staring at a bouquet of flowers in Trader Joe's and convinced myself you wouldn't like the gesture so I didn't buy them but you have a few vases in your moms old china cabinet and the moment I remembered them I felt stupid for not buying the flowers."

There's something curling tenderly underneath Tommy's ribcage that he's not sure he's ever felt quite like this before. It's not new, exactly, but it seems to be thrumming particularly hard tonight.

Three months in, Tommy had gotten the man-flu from hell, temperatures so high he'd been grounded and sent packing to rest it off, and he'd texted Evan a jumbled mess of barely discernible things when they'd tucked him into the Uber.

Evan and Bobby had made chicken noodle soup at the station and Hen had sent Evan off with a laundry list of things he could do to help drop the fever, and Tommy had spent the duration sulking and glowering and dragging himself out of bed every time Evan had wanted to change the sheets, to keep Tommy as comfortable as he could, but when Evan had caught it four days later he hadn't hesitated to do all the same shit with gusto. Evan hadn't been particularly grateful either, because neither one of them liked being laid up when the world was out there waiting for them, but he'd at least had the grace to not be an asshole about it.

He had, though. Been grateful. A little awestruck, too, at the mere idea of someone so unafraid of just being there through all the moaning and groaning and hacking and coughing, keeping the tissues from piling up on the bedside table and switching out cold packs to the freezer so he always had one ready in case he wanted it. In the clarity of a full day without fever making his brain feel like cotton candy he'd stared down at a sleepily wheezing Evan and known he could absolutely lose his heart to this man.

"Also I don't want to toot my own horn here but I give excellent foot rubs, and I feel like there's about a million other things I've just been -- holding back from doing?"

"Because of the role thing, or because all your stupid exes told you you were needy?"

It's not a night to pull punches. Also Tommy wants to send thank you cards to every single one of them and attach them to boxes with a bark scorpion inside.

"Both," Evan says without a second of hesitation. His smile crinkles at the corners of his mouth, and Tommy is suddenly annoyed with the space between them. When he holds out his hand to tug Evan into him, Evan melts into it for the space of a moment before he pulls back. "I actually kind of desperately want to be the big spoon right now, if that's something you'd be into." Evan had definitely clocked the look on his face when he'd mentioned it, but he's keyed into the way Tommy checks in and reciprocated in kind since the start of this, so.

Tommy peels his glasses off, snags his bookmark to keep his spot in the monstrosity of the Wrangler maintenance manual he'd stopped being cagey about the fifth time Evan caught him flipping through it, and watches Evan settle comfortably into bed next to him. The problem is, Tommy actually isn't sure where to go from there, which is a ridiculous thought to have because Evan hadn't either and he'd figured it out just fine.

"How do you want me, Buckley?"

The roll of his eyes is so bitchy that Tommy has to remind himself that for all his people pleasing attributes, Evan Buckley is, at heart, a huge fucking brat. Evan tugs and twists and maneuvers his arms and Tommy sort of sinks into it, head tucked in the crook of his shoulder, draping his leg over one of Evan's when he shifts his knee pointedly, a massive, unruly breath escaping Tommy once they're all done shifting.

"You should absolutely try out the rest of your list," he murmurs into the space where Evan's shoulder meets his neck. "Although you don't need to woo me anymore, I'm actually fully wooed."

Lips against his crown, pressed tightly enough that he can feel the smile against his scalp, Evan chuckles. "You don't know how good my wooing is."

The fingers shifting up and down his arm feel somehow different, from this position, even though Evan has done it a hundred times before from the spot he likes to claim with his head right over Tommy's bleeding, three-sizes-too-big-for-him heart. It's ridiculous, and it shouldn't feel any different, but it does. He wants to be greedy with it, soak it in and then never let Evan do this again because he finally understands the appeal and he doesn't want to deprive Evan that.

"This is nicer than I expected."

Evan's soft laugh ruffles his hair, and Tommy wonders if he's dumb enough to ask Eddie how long he should wait before he can reasonably beg Evan to spend the rest of his life with him.

"Save the reviews for when I actually spoon you. It's gonna rock your world." His hand drifts up, fingers digging into the dimple of Tommy's skull.

The hum in his throat has a mind of it's own, going thin and reedy and --

Evan pauses, and Tommy can practically see the gears whirring in his mind, because this is new information.

To both of them, actually, but Tommy doesn't have time to process it because the fingers on the back of his skull spread and sink deeper, just enough pressure to be more than a glancing ruffle, and Tommy can't quite help the way he tilts his head back into it, or the way he hitches his leg to press his groin a little more firmly to the outside of Evan's thigh.

They're both too tired for it to really mean anything -- both off 48's and a fumbled round in the shower while they were already bone weary -- but Tommy wants the reminder for them both when they wake up in the morning.

He can feel his eyes drooping the longer Evan scrubs his fingers against him, and the thought pops into his head as he's drifting off. He doesn't want it to disappear into the fog, though, so he murmurs it into the soft, warm skin of Evan's neck. "I like camellia's. White ones."

Evan hums, and Tommy just knows that the moment he drops off, Evan will be reaching for his phone to google the language of flowers.

[mochinomnoms]

*slams open door*

Mochi! Mochi! I have an idea.

So a troupe I see on pixiv fanart is a character swapping with their future selves. I saw one where Azul wakes up in bed with his future wife Yuu and she's teased him because she can tell it's past Azul and he doesn't recognize her. She gives him a hint how to recognize her by some birthmarks she has on her chest.

I've seen a couple artists do it with Floyd as well, and a fanfic with past and future Yuu swapping with each other and poor younger Malleus is overwhelmed because OMG this beautiful woman is flirting with me and she's my future wife? There's something hilarious about the younger guys just not knowing how to handle the future version of Yuu.

So now I'm thinking how funny it would be for Past!PTMYuu swapping places with future!PTMYuu. Like P!Yuu wakes up in an unknown house in somebody's bed and confused as fuck and gets even more confused because suddenly these little kids are running in, telling Mommy it's time to get up and Yuu's like, who's mommy? Then who should walk in but Jade telling the kids to let Mommy rest and then he notices that the Yuu in their bedroom is not his wife(Yuu's still wearing her NRC uniform and shouldn't fit it anymore after getting older and having kids) and ohh he's going to have fun with this. He'll start in with the thoughts "ohh my beautiful pearl was absolutely adorable back at NRC, look at how tiny and cute you were, I know you can hear me pearl..." And fuck he knows about her telepathy. Poor Yuu overloads with the fact that Jade actually married her, they have kids, and is still so damn in love with her as he was at NRC.

Meanwhile F!Yuu is back at Past NRC and is calming down Yuu's friends. No, your Yuu is fine. If I'm right she's with my husband and kids right now and he'll take care of her. Some of the cast are obviously curious about Yuu's husband and F!Yuu is all "nah... sorry I can't say, don't wanna mess with the future." and of course the one who wants to know the most is Jade. F!Yuu is laughing to themselves because man, they remember how down horrendously Jade was in school and he doesn't know at this time that Yuu can read his thoughts. I'd like to think Yuu learned to better control the telepathy so she just tunes into his thoughts every now and then and it's just his thoughts bouncing around like "Oh seven my pearl is absolutely gorgeous in the future. Please tell me I'm your husband. I have to be! What would our kids look like. How many would we have? Do they look like my pearl or me? I hope one looks like my pearl they'd be the cutest baby!"

Eventually somebody figures out how to send the Yuu's back to their right time. Hugs for everybody but P!Jade gets a quick peck on the cheek before F!Yuu hops into whatever portal is sending her back and the last thought she hears from P!Jade is him screaming in his mind how much he loves her.

P!Yuu gets back and now has to deal with Jade's even more thoughts about the future and apparently a few others people thinking that man, Yuu's gonna be such a milf in the future.

Somebody please help Yuu, poor thing can only take so much.

Ah I love silly time travel stories (I ignore paradoxes) and this is one of my favorite tropes! It's what one of the fics from the poll is based on, but with all of the overblot cast instead!

I'm so excited to write it, I have many ideas for everyone, especially Leona and Idia's chapters!!

For Jade though, I think it would be so funny. He's positively enamored seeing milf/dilf Yuu. He's internalizing everything, of course, so no one except Yuu and Floyd and Azul can really tell he's being affected.

He's staring a little longer than he really should, but he's surprised that future Yuu doesn't seem to mind. In fact, they're much calmer than usual. Usually they'd be excitable with their friends and quite shy and quiet with him. But future Yuu looks at him with such fondness that Jade lets himself dream that they look at him like that because they're future spouses.

(In the back of his mind, there is a mix of hope and dread. That's a wedding band on their hand. They're taken, but was it by him?)

Imagine everyone's surprise and shock when, right before leaving, future Yuu walks up to Jade (even in the future, they haven't grown much) to tip toe and press a sweet little kiss to the cheek as they cup his face with the absolute most tenderness.

Jade's frozen, the others are murmuring to each other, and future Yuu disappears and in their place is their original Yuu. Red-faced, covered in a large brown coat that most definitely does not belong to them, and staring Jade down.

Covering their red-face and all. Poor Jade is now giddy and a bit concerned (he hopes that scream was due to flusteredness and not fear, though he does love how entertaining they always are), while Yuu is screaming into their couch as they try to process several things, including the knowledge that they weren't at all displeased knowing that they married Jade.

[hyp3rf1xat10ns]

Be Careful...

(Before I begin I would like to say I am writing this for @shrimpyyyyy who asked if I could write something for a Stern yet soft Malleus after we talked about it, and I have a personal headcanon about Malleus when he's frustrated so, lets see if y'all can spot it ;))

You had no idea how you got here. This was the last thing you had expected. Yes you knew that Ace and Deuce were clumsy, but ending up covered in burns from just one spilled ingredient into their cauldron was not on the bingo card. What also wasn't on the bingo card?... The Fae Prince that you had become friends with being just outside the classroom when it happened, and him offering to bandage you up. So that's how you were stuck in your current predicament, Sitting on your dusty couch in Ramshackle, with Malleus currently tending to your knees. His hands are soft and cold as he bandages you. However it was clear he was a little upset. Smoke puffed from the corners of his mouth. He wasn't angry so there was no fire, but it was clear he was a little frustrated.

"Child of Man. I am aware that helping your friends is something you do quite often. In fact you even take up tasks for the faculty. Regardless, you shouldn't be so careless as to get yourself so injured so often." Malleus says softly but his words have a slight edge to them. Your eyes shift around slightly clearly a little nervous. "You say that like I get injured every time I help someone." Malleus grumbled softly. "It seems to happen more often then not...And I'm tired of seeing you hurt." His voice was firm for once. Almost like he was attempting to be stern with you. "Malleus I-" "No. You need to stop putting yourself at risk to help your friends complete some menial task that they can do themselves." As he speaks there's a slight rumble behind his words, the clouds outside starting to darken and thunder sounding throughout. You chuckle softly finding his concern adorable. You cup his cheeks with both hands, gently making him looks up at you. "Malleus, I promise I'll be more careful." You smile at him softly and it seems as though his anger quickly abates, the sunny day returning to normally as he leans into your touch. "Hm. Very well Child of Man. I shall take your word for it." He presses a gentle kiss to your knee that he had just finished bandaging. "But if I find you injured again the person you were helping that allowed you to be injured, I can't say I will be very polite with him." Malleus pouts softly causing you to giggle as you trail your hands up to his horns. A place few people have permission to touch. And you're lucky enough to be one of them. "Malleus, I promise." He leans into your touch. "Allow me to finish bandaging you up." Malleus gets back to work on tending to you, and you can't help but smile as the smoke coming from his mouth stops and his hands feel a little warmer.

[benjinoff13]

as promised, my theory about Cressida and her infamous sleeves this season

this is the first time we see Cressida and Eloise together, something about this is immediately really noticeable, Cressida’s sleeves look super normal, apart from having a bit more fringe on her coat and her hair she’s pretty much dressed the same as all the other ladies, now what do we learn about them in this scene? it soon becomes clear that Eloise and Cressida became friends over the summer (i think it was summer?) while both their family’s were at the countryside, now before i get into this more it’s important to explain my theory which is:

Cressida’s parents have her dresses designed with big sleeves to keep others (in this case mostly Eloise) at a physical distance

a bit of backstory about this theory before we get back to that first screencap

i don’t remember where or who but someone said that they thought Cressida has had “an incident” before, meaning her parents have already realized that Cressida maybe is into girls/women in a way, maybe she’s had a friendship that was clearly turning into more or her parents even caught her with someone, ofcourse they would keep this under wraps cause if they didn’t Cressida would never find a husband and the family's reputation would be ruined, but Cressida’s parents (this theory is mostly geared towards her father) are doing everything in their power to prevent it from happening again in order to make sure Cressida gets married asap, they may even want her out of the house because they don’t want her as their daughter anymore

now back to this screencap, Cressida doesn’t have the crazy sleeves yet, her father probably thought that his daughter’s friendship with Eloise was a temporary thing, to the outside world there are no two people that have less in common than Eloise Bridgerton and Cressida Cowper, everybody is surprised by their friendship and so Cressida’s parents must have assumed it was only temporary, just a “summer fling” so to speak, but they're wrong and in this scene Cressida and Eloise are seen in public for the first time, arm in arm, no shame, not caring about the looks and the shock of other people, simply, genuinely, enjoying each other company, to the surprise of the ton and the viewers themselves even

Cressida’s father doesn’t like this one bit, Cressida has only held a friendship this long one other time and he didn’t like the way it ended at all, so he decides he needs to get ahead of it, it needs to be subtle, he can’t keep them away from each other cause Cressida’s impression on the rest on the ton needs to be excellent should she ever find a husband, a friendship could actually work in her favor given it's a respectable one, he can’t tell her to not see Eloise again (we soon learn), so what does he do? he creates a distance, a barrier, something that prevents them from walking arm in arm like we see them do in their first scene together, something that prevents their hands from brushing each other or their elbows touching while they walk, clothes are everything, fashion is everything, Cressida’s looks have always been extravagant, this is where he gets the idea to order Cressida’s mother to tell the modiste “big sleeves”, disguising it as a fashion statement

the next time we see Cressida is here, her sleeves aren’t that crazy yet but noticeably bigger and broader than in that first scene, and it gets crazier from here, we see that it doesn’t quite do what it will do in the future which is to create a distance between these two, but, this is lady Danbury’s ball, the first of the season, the event of the season, the moment to impress the queen, they can’t take fashion risks so they play it safe while also testing their new technique of keeping Eloise at a respectable distance

enter the third time we see Eloise and Cressida, no big sleeves but a huge coat that flows down and outwards, look at what it does to the distance between them while they walk, the idea is working, atleast that's what Cressida's parents think

below are the next two times we see Cressida, the photo on the left isn't that interesting for this theory, one thing that i did realise in this scene is that ladies walk and talk next to each other, ladies and gentlemen make connections while dancing, they're facing each other, the big sleeves make sure people on Cressida's sides (women) stay at a distance while people opposite her (men) can still connect with her, the theory holds up (i recommond rewatching this scene if you're interested in Cressida/Eloise cause Cressida does something really cute where she leans down to hear Eloise better)

the photo on the right however is very interesing and maybe even one of my biggest pieces of "evicende", we can see that Cressida isn't the only one that wears these extravagent dresses with huge sleeves because her mother is wearing the exact same style of dress, in this scene lady Cowper says "You may think me harsh Cressida, but, if you knew the ways your father is trying to put me under his thumb... He has reduced our allowance by half." we learn here that lord Cowper is extremely controlling, not only of his daughter, but of all the women in his life, he sees them as his property, he decides what they wear, where they go, who they talk to, how much money they have, he controls everything, lady Cowper is dressed to keep other men away because she is his property, Cressida is dressed to keep other women away because nothing is allowed to distract or keep her from marrying a man

now there's this next scene, when you first take a quick look it doesn't look like much, there's nothing new about this, until we look at what Eloise does, she reaches out to Cressida and touches her arm, holds it tightly even, when you look closer you can see Eloise and Cressida's ladies maids (I think that's what they're called) in the background, knowing what we know about lord Cowper, even Cressida's maid is under his thumb, she's probably been ordered to watch everything Cressida does and report back to him, maybe she's even been told to keep a closer eye on his daughter's relationship with Eloise specifically, when she comes home later she tells lord Cowper about the physical contact between Eloise and Cressida, he starts to worry and realises his plan might not be working, leading to Cressida's biggest sleeves yet in the bottom photo

look at those things, there's no way Eloise and Cressida are linking arms or brushing hands with those tents attached to Cressida's shoulders, she can still dance with potential suitors cause they will be opposite of one another but when ladies talk to other ladies they're next to each other, we see this over and over again in the show, you will barely see two women talking and have them stand directly face to face

next time we see Cressida and Eloise together is at the library, there's something very noticeable about this photo, the big sleeves are nowhere to be seen, but in the background we can see Cressida's parents, at all other events we've always only seen Cressida's mother present but now her father is with them, Cressida doesn't need the sleeves cause her father is there to watch her every move and listen to every word she says to other people, and she knows this, she appears tense the entire scene (a combination of knowing she's losing lord Debling to Penelope but also feeling her father breathe down her neck)

look at how close Eloise's face is, most of Cressida's dresses wouldnt't allow this, her face would be touching Cressida's sleeve, that barrier isn't on Cressida's dress today, instead the other barrier, her father, came with them to this event

between this screencap and the next there is one more scene that i haven't included but is maybe most important to Cressida/Eloise, it's the "I should like to call on miss Cowper a moment" scene, now i could write a whole other essays about this scene but I'll spare you guys, when it comes to this specific theory I'm explaining here there's not much to add, what is important in this scene however is that when Eloise exits the room we hear lord Cowper say that Cressida cannot see Eloise again... but why not? maybe it's because he knows about Eloise's views on marriage and he's afraid that she will have a bad influence on Cressida but his tone lets me believe that there's more to in than that, he's so angry, he knows that there's more going on even if Eloise and Cressida might not even know themselves

we see Cressida and Eloise together one more time, eventhough lord Cowper told Cressida to not see Eloise again she has big sleeves again, maybe because he was doubtful that she would listen, cause she didn't, she talks to Eloise and spends time with her, for everyone to see, out in the open, she even refuses when Eloise respectfully tells her that it's okay if they can't see each other for a while, she and Eloise laugh together and Cressida aks Eloise a question she's been dying to answer her entire life, a question that no one has ever asked her before, a question that gives them the opportunity to further deepen their relationship, she simply asks Eloise "And how do you see things exactly?" and Eloise's entire face lights up

if you've read this whole thing you're up for a veteran's discount

no but seriously thank you for reading my yap session and please let me know your thoughts in the comments or tags

part 2

reminder that this is simply just a theory (that will probably be disproven after 3B is released)

[badasbebi]

imagination's curse

navigation

✦ pairing: bada lee x fem!reader

✦ summary: you long for excitement in your mundane life, until you are suddenly visited by a strange, beautiful woman who upends your world and thrusts you into a whirlwind of pleasure and danger.

✦ genre/au: smut (MDNI!!), succubus!bada, basically pwp

✦ word count: 6k

✦ warnings: probably has grammatical/spelling errors, mentions of demons and occult activities, top!bada (she's doing all the work), fingering, cunnilingus, bit of thigh riding, y/n is a weakling, somebody dies (or do they?)

✦ a/n: this is very different from other fics I've written, in genre and length, because after watching bebe's imagination video on repeat, i decided to temporarily drop the other fic i was working on to write this! we will be getting back to the more simple (and long) fics I've written before, but i hope you guys still enjoy this in the meantime! i purposely left this open-ended in case i, or you guys, wanted to see a continuation of this story at some point. lmk if that would be of interest to y'all!

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Beyond the restaurant windows, rain pounds against the earth. The rhythmic drumming of the rain lulls you into a trance-like state, eyes glossing over and body becoming numb. The soft jazz music coming from the speakers overhead only enhances your drowsiness, making you melt into your seat like heated wax. You rest your chin in the palm of your hand and stare out at the street, watching cars pass by and disappear into the darkness. Your eyelids become heavy and you blink, attempting to bring your attention back to the real world, and, probably most importantly, the person in front of you. 

You sigh, slouching forward in your chair. Your date, Seolhyun, has been droning on for the last twenty minutes about her schoolwork. Her mouth is moving, but your mind isn't registering her words. You can't bring yourself to care. She seems somewhat nice, and she's devastatingly pretty, but those were about the only two qualities of value that you could conjure up. This wouldn't have been so bad, if this date hadn't essentially turned into a one-sided conversation she was having with herself.  You don't think you've said more than three words since the both of you sat down.

"Like, nursing is so boring and depressing. I don't get why so many people are into it," she says, taking a bite of her food. "I want to do something interesting and fresh, like, modeling, or something. Or, maybe I'll switch my major to art. I take really good pictures of my friends. Isn't there a photography concentration in the arts program?"

Seolhyun looks over at you expectantly, waiting for your input. You have no idea what the answer is, so you just shrug and give her a fake, tight-lipped smile. 

"Yeah, you know what? I think I'm gonna talk to my advisor tomorrow. It's just that my dad is the problem. Whenever I talk to my dad he's like, nooooo. That's not what I've been sending you money for. He's so old fashioned."

"Oh," you respond, your voice monotone. There is a part of you that can't help but feel a little bad about zoning out and ignoring her, but you've had your fill of boring conversations about family and school and life aspirations. This was nothing new. 

She slams one of her hands on the table, making you jump so high you nearly knock your glass of water over. 

"And it's silly because he's the one who wanted me to go to college sooo badly, so how are you going to complain about paying for it? Its like—and not to sound like a cunt—we do pretty well for ourselves. I don't need to be the moneymaker! I get he wants me to be the head nurse at the hospital he owns, but honestly, fuck that hospital. Fuck the patients too!" she continues, her voice raised loud enough to capture the attention of  the nearby tables. You can feel their eyes on you, and a wave of embarrassment washes over you. You glance around the room, trying not to make eye contact with anyone, slowly sliding down in your seat.

 "He's just...he's such a hardass. Doesn't let me do anything. It's a real shame," she finishes, huffing in annoyance.

You nod. "Right, it is a real shame." you mumble, still avoiding others' judgemental gazes. 

She doesn't seem to notice how uncomfortable you've become, or the attention that she's gathering. Instead, she grins."I know! I'm so glad you get it."

The only thing you're getting is murderous. You needed to get out of here, quickly. As if hearing your internal cries for help, the waiter appears, asking if the two of you would like to see the dessert menu. You shake your head.

"Oh, no. Just the check please," you say, glancing up at him.

Seolhyun nods in agreement. "Yeah, I'm done. This salad was kinda trash. No offense. Sorry." She picks up her napkin and dabs it at her mouth. 

The waiter grimaces. "No problem. I'll be right back."

As the waiter walks off, you turn back to Seolhyun, forcing yourself to smile. She jumps right back into her complaints, albeit more quietly, and fidgets with the stem of her wine glass. You tune her out again, no longer feeling guilty for doing so. The only thing that brings your attention back to reality is the waiter setting the bill face-down on the table. He bids you both goodnight before walking off, and when you look up, you almost want to laugh.  

A guilty expression flashes across Seolhyun's face, and she leans over the table, looking at the check. She clears her throat, and you already know what she's about to say. 

"Do you have your card on you? Sorry, I think I left mine at home. I'll totally venmo you after this." She laughs awkwardly, sitting back in her seat.

You roll your eyes, but reach for your wallet. "Whatever." 

After dinner, the two of you step out of the restaurant and into the rain, huddling under the overhang as you try to find an escape from the downpour. 

"Well, it was nice chatting with you, y/n," she says, stepping towards the edge of the overhang. "Hope we can hang out again soon."

"Yeah, definitely," you lie. 

"Awesome! Talk to you late, then." she smiles, and you know she's lying too.

Seolhyun walks out into the rain and you watch as she crosses the street, heading toward a pink Tesla. 

"Bitch," you murmur bitterly, pulling your hood over your head.

You don't want to spend money on an Uber, and the walk to the nearest bus stop isn't very far, so you decide to trek through the rain, praying that the bus won't take long. You zip up your coat and put your hood over your head, stepping out into the rain. The cold pelts against your face and seeps through the material of your clothes, causing goosebumps to break out on your skin. You curse, and pull your arms in close to your body, walking faster. The streetlamps lining the road provide enough light for you to see where you're going despite the dark clouds overhead, their glow casting an orange glow against the pavement.

As you walk, your thoughts turn back to your disastrous date. You didn't mean to act like such an ass, but it was impossible not to when the entire evening had consisted of her talking about herself and how difficult her life was. The worst part is, she actually seemed to think you were a good listener, even with your blank stares and monosyllabic responses.

Deep down, you know that it's not entirely Seolhyun's fault. Today felt like a culmination of all the ways you've been failing lately. In short, it's been a bad week. A bad month. A bad year. At all points, you've felt as though there was no escape from the dullness of your life, like you were being suffocated, drowned in a pool of water with no way to save yourself. These were your college years, and you came to the realization last year that all you've been doing was sitting in your dorm, studying, going to class, and then going home. No parties, no drama, no adventures, no romance, nothing. Even worse, it seemed like everyone else had already started their lives and were living them. It was infuriating, seeing everyone around you have fun, while you were stuck in this weird limbo of mediocrity.

In attempts to find some excitement, you downloaded a dating app and started going out more, meeting people, but so far, all the dates have ended up being like this one. Boring, or just plain awkward. You've tried to make changes—different clothes, makeup, hair—anything to shake things up, and while that was nice and made you feel pretty, it didn't change the fact that your life was still dull. And now, you're just exhausted, constantly feeling like you're going through the motions.

 Nothing has worked. This was probably the tenth horrible date you've been on in two months. Maybe, this was just your life now, and you had to come to terms with it. Bland, and as bleak as the clouds overhead.  

Which seem to have gotten even darker, you notice, as you approach the bus stop. You stand underneath the shelter, rubbing your hands together and blowing on them. The streets are completely deserted. You shiver, your damp clothes clinging to your skin, and hug yourself tightly, trying to keep warm. You try to look for any sign of the bus, but the rain is coming down too hard, the air is heavy with fog, and you can't see further than a few feet away. A prickle of fear runs down your spine. You didn't even think to check if the buses were running late. What if they're not running at all?

Just as you reach for your phone to check the time, you hear the screeching of bus brakes and let out a sigh of relief. You're saved.

You stand at the edge of the sidewalk, watching as the bus slowly pulls up in front of the stop. The door opens and you step inside, moving as quickly as you can. The warm air instantly hits your face, but the heat does nothing to thaw the chill that has set in your bones. You pay the driver, and walk to the back, taking a seat near the window. The bus is nearly empty, save for an old woman and a couple of teenagers sitting towards the front.

You pull your phone out of your pocket and plug in your earbuds. Music starts playing, drowning out the noise of the rain and the rumble of the engine.

After a few stops, the bus reaches your destination and the doors open, the sound of the rain pouring down and the wind blowing in, bringing with it a cool breeze. You get off, and begin the trek home, your sneakers splashing through puddles as you make your way down the street.

The wind picks up, the gusts blowing hard enough to cause the street lamps to flicker and sway. They cast shadows against the ground and walls of the buildings, which appear and disappear in the blink of an eye. The rain comes down harder, falling in thick, heavy sheets. You quicken your pace, the muscles in your legs burning as you move, your heart rate quickening. 

Finally, your apartment building comes into view.  You run, sprinting the last block and darting up the steps, the water squishing between your toes. Excitement blooms in your chest as you grab the door handle and pull it open, the prospect of a dry place to lay your head making you feel better.

As soon as you cross the threshold of your building, you pull your hood down, the smell of mildew hitting your nose. Your shoes squeak against the wet floor, and you leave a trail of water droplets and mud as you head toward the elevator.

The ride up is excruciatingly slow. You tap your foot impatiently, watching the numbers climb, and think about the warm bed that's awaiting you, how good it'll feel to wrap yourself in a blanket and forget about this miserable night. If your roommate allows it.

Once your mind drifts to her, your excitement dwindles. Fatigue weighs heavy on your shoulders, and you long for nothing more than to be asleep in the comfort of your own bed, but you know it's a rubbish wish, thanks to Aeri. 

Recently, home hasn't been particularly enjoyable either. You used to have a roommate who didn't bother you. Then, she dropped out, and you were stuck with rent, an empty room, and the task of finding a new roommate. It was a difficult process, with most candidates seeming creepy or annoying or gross. Then, you ran into Aeri, who was by no means a perfect match, but seemed good enough. She was a bit awkward, and you didn't really know what to make of the intense gothic attire she was sporting during your initial meeting. She seemed incredibly nice and easygoing, though, and she smelled good. Was that not all you needed? So, running out of time, you swallowed your apprehension and gave her the spare keys to your apartment.  

For the most part, you didn't regret your decision. She was, in fact, one of the sweetest, most caring people you've ever met, frequently baking treats for you when she knew you were having a particularly terrible day and listening to you vent  about your dating diasters. But, there were a few small issues that had cropped up, and they happened to occur most often at night.

Your stomach does flip-flops the higher the numbers get, until, finally, the elevator dings, and the doors open. You shuffle out into the hall, pulling out your keys and heading toward the apartment. When you're in front of the door, you hesitate, the key hovering in the air as you stare at the peephole. You take a deep breath and push the door open, the smell of incense instantly hitting your nose as you step inside of the dark apartment. You slip off your wet shoes and hang your jacket up on your worn-out coat rack. 

"I'm back," you call, closing the door behind you. You step further into the apartment and glance around as you walk into the living room, where you are met with a sight you're not prepared for.

Your eyes squint to adjust to the dark and take in the scene before you. The air is thick and heavy, engulfed by the scent of a sweet, intoxicating perfume. Candles are placed throughout the space, their warm glow casting shadows on the wall. Aeri kneels in the middle of the living room, wearing a cloak, her hands hovering above an intricate pentagram on the floor. She mumbles something to herself that you cannot understand, her eyes closed. Her hair falls over her face and her lips move, but no words are uttered.

"Aeri, what are you doing?" you ask, taking a tentative step forward.

Aeri's head snaps up, her eyes wide, and the mumbling stops.

"Oh, hey, you're back," she says, her tone a bit nervous. Her hands tremble as she moves the hood of her cloak back. "Sorry, I didn't know you'd be back so soon. I was just—uh—you know."

"No, actually. I don't. What are you doing?" You repeat, folding your arms in front of you.

She looks around the room, before returning her gaze to you. "Uh...meditating?"

And this was the problem. Shortly after Aeri moved in, she brought her witchy occult shit with her. You don't really believe in any of it, so you typically ignore her and carry on with your day when you see her pull out one of her spellbooks at the dinner table. Except for days like this, when she goes too far, gets too loud, and keeps you up at night with her antics. Then, she becomes public enemy number one. 

You glare at her. "With a pentagram on the floor? Please. This is..."

You pause, scanning the room again. There's something particularly wrong today, but you can't quite place it. There's heaviness in the air, a heightened version of the feeling you get when you're in a haunted house, except there are no clowns or people cosplaying as serial killers, just candles and a pentagram and Aeri, staring up at you. 

"Bizarre. This is bizarre. Even for you." you finish, narrowing your eyes. "What's going on?"

"Nothing!" She squeaks, her voice strained. "I was just...doing some reading about a spell that could, uh. Fix a problem that I’ve been having. I decided to try it out today"

You pinch the bridge of your nose and let out an exasperated sigh. You're tired. Your hair is drenched. Your shirt is clinging to your back. You couldn't be bothered with this. 

"Listen, I don't think I actually care about what you have going on. But, I have an exam tomorrow, I've had a rough day, and I need some rest. Can you promise to keep it down in here while I sleep?"

Aeri looks around, a guilty expression on her face, before nodding her head. "Sure, yeah. No problem. I’m sorry."

"Thank you," you say, and turn on your heels without another word.

You make your way through the hallway and enter your bedroom, shutting the door behind you.

Your room is dark and cold, but you can't bother to turn the lights on or get under the covers. Instead, you lay down on the bed, your limbs splayed out. Your hair is still wet, and you can feel the moisture seeping into your comforter, but you can't even think to move.

You're too tired to bother changing into your pajamas. Too tired to do anything but sleep. So, you shove off your socks and rain-soaked jeans and call it a day. You crawl into bed, pulling the blankets over your body until they rest just below your chin. The warmth envelopes you and you're finally able to relax. You stare up at the ceiling, watching the fan spin slowly, praying for a peaceful night's rest. Lately, you've been plagued by strange dreams you can't remember when you wake up. Although they've been forgetful, they usually keep you tossing and turning in your sleep throughout the night. But, tonight, your eyelids are so heavy you can barely keep them open, and within seconds, you drift off into unconsciousness, the world slipping away and the darkness consuming you. The smell of Aeri's incense and the sound of the rain lulls you into a slumber unlike never before, submerged into a dark void of nothing.  

That is, until you feel something touch you. You awaken with a start, jolting upright in your bed, your heart racing. The room is dark, illuminated only by the light of the moon shining through the window. You glance around frantically, searching for the source of the touch, but there's nothing, no sign of life. Just shadows, and the sound of your breathing. You close your eyes, taking a deep breath, trying to steady yourself. It's probably just the wind or an insect. You're tired, and your deteriorating mind is playing tricks on you. There's nothing to be scared of.

You lay back down, pulling the blankets up to your chin, and take a deep breath, closing your eyes. Your heartbeat begins to slow, and you exhale, trying to relax. A few minutes pass, and you begin to drift off once again, when, suddenly, you feel something against your neck. A cold, soft pressure. Like a feather, brushing across your skin.

"Y/N." A soft, gentle voice whispers.

Your eyes flutter open, and you are met with the sight of a woman's face, inches away from yours. You gasp and shoot up again, nearly slamming your forehead against hers. The woman backs away, allowing you to regain your bearings. You blink a few times, shaking your head to try to wake yourself up, but she remains., staring at you with an expression that could only be described as amused. 

The moonlight streams in through the window, giving the woman's figure an almost ethereal glow. You've never seen her before. She has a stupefying, otherworldly, beauty about her, with dark eyes and full lips that accentuate her sharp jawline. She's wearing a black, silky nightgown that clings to her body. Her pale, delicate-looking skin shines in the moonlight, and her dark hair, interlaced with another color, cascades down her back, falling over her shoulders.

You look around the room, expecting the lights to turn on and an elaborate prank to be revealed, but the room is just as dark and empty as you remember. When your eyes fall back onto the woman, she is staring back at you, a soft smile on her face.

"Who the fuck are you?" you force out, your voice trembling.  

She quirks an eyebrow, tilting her head to the side. "Were you not expecting me?"

You scoff, nearly choking on your own saliva. "No! Of course not. I've never seen you before in my life. What the hell is going on? And how do you know my name?"

Her eyes light up with mirth, and her smile widens as if she's in on some sort of joke. 

"Oh, this is interesting," she starts, clasping her hands together. "This is very interesting."

As a primal fear takes hold of your body, interesting is the last word that comes to your brain to describe the situation you've found yourself in. Albeit hot, this random woman broke into your apartment to do God knows what to you and your belongings. Who knows if she's already murdered Aeri. Or, perhaps, this is a lucid dream, and you're experiencing some sort of weird hallucination. Either way, you wanted out. Now.

You release a shaky exhale in a poor attempt to calm your nerves. "I'm gonna call the cops, okay? But, I really don't want any trouble. If you leave now, I won't tell anyone about this." 

The woman stares at you for a moment, her expression unreadable, before erupting into a fit of laughter. You blink, unsure of how to proceed. She continues to laugh, her hand clutching her chest as her whole body shakes. The sound is melodic, and it rings out like the chimes of a bell, the notes flowing effortlessly into the air. It's almost enchanting, and you find yourself lost in the melody until she quiets down and straightens up, a soft smile on her face. 

"That's completely unnecessary. I'm not here to cause you any harm, Y/N," she says, and, somehow, her voice is even more hypnotic than her laugh. Some of your fear dissipates, but the confusion remains.

"Why are you here, then?" you question, unable to keep the suspicion out of your tone.

"To give you a little bit of help. I know you've been struggling." She replies, her voice dripping with sympathy.

"How do you know that?"

She smiles, the expression making her features seem even more radiant than before. "I know a lot of things. 'How' is irrelevant. What's more important is that I know exactly how I can help you tonight. You need...a stress reliever. I can do that for you. If you're up for it, that is."

"A stress reliever?" You echo, and the way her eyes sparkle in the moonlight, her lips quirked up in a seductive smirk, her voice low and smooth, makes it abundantly clear what she's implying. Your cheeks flush and heat rushes through your body. This couldn't be real. Could it?

"I don't think we're on the same page. I mean, a...stress reliever. I don't know if I understand," you say, shifting uncomfortably.

"You're a bit slow, aren't you?" she asks a devilish grin stretching across her face, and, she's probably right. You feel like a fish out of water, opening and closing your mouth like an idiot. The worst part of it is, she seems to be enjoying your floundering, grinning wider as she watches you stutter. 

"There's no need to worry," she purrs, taking a step closer, her dark eyes shining. "You just need to relax. It'll be fun." 

The sane, rational part of your brain is screaming, yelling, begging for you to run out of the room. Anybody with half a brain could decipher that the sensible thing to do in this situation would be to flee, grab a weapon, and call the police. Yet, here you are, lying still, the woman's words ringing in your ears. Fun. It's been a long time since you've had fun. You can't even remember the last time you've gotten remotely close to it. And, as if she was sent from above, here was a beautiful, mysterious woman, offering it to you on a platter. You can't help but be a bit curious. Curious about the strange, magical feeling that's coursing through your veins.

 Plus, your body is aching for touch, and the idea of sleeping with a beautiful woman is incredibly tempting, especially in your state. It's been months since you've had sex.

The woman takes a step closer, and your stomach does a flip. This is stupid. It's dangerous, and stupid, and it would be so easy to say no. 

"You won't hurt me, right?" You ask, a nervous edge creeping into your voice.

"You'll enjoy every second we spend together," she says, her eyes stroking over you. Her gaze is so intense, her voice so soothing, all you want is to please her. You don't think. You no longer have the ability to.  Your desire is too strong.

"What are you going to do?" you ask, the words tumbling out of your mouth.

"That depends on you," she says, her fingers brushing the edge of the duvet. "What would you like me to do?"

You look into her dark, all-consuming eyes, and shiver. Your blood feels like it's on fire.   "I—um—whatever you had in mind." 

Her eyes narrow, her lips curling up into a smirk. She leans in, her warm breath ghosting your lips. You can smell her perfume, the scent of vanilla and lavender assaulting your senses.  

Your heart beats fast, and you can't help the small whimper that escapes your throat.

"Are you sure?" she says, her voice low. "You don't know what you're getting yourself into."

She's right. For all you knew, her idea of fun could include a knife and a casket. But you couldn't bring yourself to care, not when she's looking at you like that. 

"I don't care," you say, your voice hoarse. "Do whatever you want with me."

The corners of her lips curl upwards, and her eyes twinkle with mischief.  "Okay," she whispers, her voice soft and sweet.

She leans forward, her lips ghosting yours. You hold your breath, anticipating her next move. Her hand moves up to cup your cheek, her thumb rubbing small circles on your skin that send a tingle down your spine. You lean into the touch, and her smile widens. She tilts her head to the side, and presses a kiss to the corner of your lips. The contact is soft, tender, and sweet. Her lips are warm, and the touch is brief, but enough to ignite the flames within your veins. You gasp, moving your head to try to capture her lips with yours, and she chuckles, pulling away.

"You're so impatient," she says, her eyes gleaming. "Desperate, even."

Embarrassment creeps up on you, and you flush, averting your gaze. She laughs again, and grabs your chin, forcing you to look at her.

"Don't hide from me," she whispers, her voice soft. "There's nothing wrong with wanting something."

With her words, the fire within you flares, and the embers within your belly burst into an inferno. Your whole body is burning, yearning, and you can't help the sigh that escapes your throat. She hums, staring at you with her piercing gaze. You've never felt this exposed, so vulnerable, so completely bare in front of another person, and you are still partially clothed. She seems to be studying you, taking in every detail, memorizing the expressions on your face. She's looking at you like you're prey, a feast, and it should scare you, should make you tremble, but it doesn't.

"Kiss me," you murmur, and she obeys.

You let out a small gasp, and her lips curve into a smile against yours as you make contact. Your eyes flutter shut, and the warmth of her mouth almost sends you spiraling. The feeling is electric, like a bolt of lightning, and it sets every nerve ending within your body alight. Her tongue glides along your bottom lip, and you part them willingly, allowing her all of the access she desires. Her tongue is warm, and wet, and her kisses are intoxicating. She tastes sweet, like strawberries and vanilla, and you can't help but moan.

She pulls away, prompting an involuntary whimper from you."Is this what you wanted, y/n?"

"Yes—uh," you stop yourself, realizing that you still don't know her name. 

"Bada," she supplies, as if reading your mind. She places a hand on your chest, and gently pushes you back onto the bed, her gaze locked on yours. You fall onto the mattress, your eyes wide.

"Bada," you repeat softly, tasting the name on your lips. Pretty. 

She smiles and slips the blankets off of you. The cool air hits your skin, sending goosebumps along your arms and legs. You suck in a sharp breath, and her eyes rake over you, drinking in the sight.

"Beautiful," she whispers, her fingers tracing up your thigh. 

She leans down to press a gentle kiss on your jaw. Her lips travel down your neck, and she bites at the sensitive skin, hard. A moan slips from your mouth, and she sucks and licks at the spot, soothing the sting. Her hand trails up the inside of your thigh, and her fingertips graze the band of your underwear. You arch your back, yearning for her touch.

"Please," you whimper again, and she giggles. 

"At least you're polite," she says, biting down on your neck again. 

Her teeth scrape against your skin, and you gasp, grabbing a fistful of her hair. You pull her closer, desperate to remove any shred of distance between the two of you. She groans, her nails digging into your thigh, her touch searing hot. She sucks at the tender skin below your collarbone, and you whine, heat pooling between your legs. It was a little humiliating, getting so worked up despite the fact that she's barely done anything, but it was hard not to when she's touching as if she wants nothing more than to devour you. 

"So impatient," she purrs, her eyes gleaming. "So needy."

She kisses the mark she made on your neck, and you squirm, the pressure between your thighs growing. 

Her fingers move higher, ghosting over your underwear, and you writhe under her touch, letting out a frustrated groan. She pulls away, a smirk on her lips.

"Something wrong?"

"You're fucking with me," you hiss, and she laughs out loud. 

"Your impatience is cute," she says, her fingers brushing against the sensitive skin on your neck, pausing where your heartbeat pulsed, right beneath your jaw. "Can't help it." 

You watch as she moves her hand away from your neck, back to your underwear. Her fingers slip under the band of your panties, already dark and wet, and she runs them through your folds, spreading your already abundant slickness.  You couldn't stand that you were so clearly proving her point about how needy you were, giving her more to make fun of you about, but how could you not be? It's been too long. and you don't know if it's ever felt this good this early on.  

Your head falls back onto the pillow, and your hands clutch at the sheets, desperate for purchase. The feeling of her thumb brushing against your clit makes your hips buck up, and she pulls away to pull down your panties.

You shiver, the cool air hitting your exposed skin. She grabs your thighs, spreading them apart, and the anticipation nearly kills you on the spot.

"So pretty," she says, her voice filled with wonder.

She looks up at you, her eyes darker than before. She holds your gaze, and without breaking eye contact, ducks her head, and swipes her tongue along your slit.

A moan escapes your lips, and your back arches, your fingers threading through her hair. Her tongue moves in circles, and you feel her hands grasp at your thighs as you inadvertently try shut them close around her head. She spreads them further apart, and presses her mouth against your center, sucking on the bundle of nerves.

"F—fuck," you moan, your head thrown back, eyes shut.

She moans into you, the vibrations causing pleasure to erupt inside of you. You grip the sheets, the fabric crumpling underneath your fingers. She pulls away, and your eyes fly open, only to meet her intense gaze.

"Watch me," she whispers, her voice husky.

Your eyes snap to her face, and she smiles, her fingers trailing down your stomach. You squirm under her touch, and she grips your thighs, her eyes locked on yours. Her staring does something to you, makes the goosebumps rise on your skin, a funny feeling arise in your stomach. She presses her lips against the inside of your thigh, her eyes not leaving yours.

She slips a finger inside of you, and you gasp, the sudden intrusion causing a wave of pleasure to wash over your body. She curls her finger, and you arch your back, the friction driving you crazy.

"That's it," she purrs, adding another finger.

You throw your head back, moaning as she begins to thrust her fingers, moving in a steady rhythm. You clench around her fingers, and her eyes widen, a mischievous glint shining in her irises. You bite your lip, the pressure building, and she smirks, increasing the pace of her movements. She crooks her fingers, hitting a sensitive spot inside of you. 

"Fuck," you cry out, and her lips curl upwards, pleased.

She leans forward, her lips capturing yours, her tongue invading your mouth. She swallows your moans, and you can feel her smiling against your lips. She pulls away, and rests her forehead against yours, her dark eyes boring into yours.

"Are you going to come for me, y/n?"

"Y-yes," you whimper, and she laughs, her hot breath fanning against your cheek.

She thrusts her fingers faster, and her thumb rubs against your clit, sending waves of pleasure throughout your body. Your breaths come out short and quick, and your head spins, the room spinning.

"Come on," she whispers, her voice low and sultry.

The pressure builds, and you can feel the edge coming. You gasp, your eyes shut, and your whole body tenses up, the pleasure rippling through your body. You let out a string of curses, and she slows her movements, riding out the aftershocks. 

"That's it," she murmurs, her fingers leaving your core.

She trails her fingers up your torso, and leans down, her lips hovering above yours.  

"Open up," she commands, her voice taking on a deeper cadence that makes you immediately obey. She pushes her fingers inside of your mouth, and your tongue dances around her digits, tasting yourself, a musky flavor that leaves you feeling lightheaded. She hums and removes her fingers, a trail of saliva connecting her digits to your mouth.

"Good." she whispers, her breath tickling your cheek.

Your eyes flutter shut, and your head spins. You're exhausted, and you almost feel as if you're about to pass out, but her praise and proximity sends a thrill through you, your heart fluttering at her words. She presses another soft kiss to your lips, allowing you to taste yourself on her tongue. She pulls away, a lazy smile on her face. 

Through your exhaustion, you manage to meet her gaze again, and you nearly gasp. Her pupils had swollen, the dark brown of her eyes merely a slim ring around a black void, devoid of any color. You swallow hard, a slight panic rising within you as you suddenly remembering the reality of the predicament you're in. Or, was it even reality? 

"W—what's happening?" you stutter, the words tumbling from your mouth.

She grins, and you realize for the first time that her teeth are razor sharp, looking as if they could tear your flesh to shreds.

"I'm taking care of you, that's what's happening, silly." she says, her voice taking on a sing-songy quality. Her hand trails down your side. "And I'm not quite finished, yet."

She leans down and captures your lips in another kiss so rough that it nearly bruises. You're still dizzy, the blood pumping through your veins, and your head still feels as if it's full of cotton. As soon as her hands meet your skin, your exhaustion and worry disappear, replaced by euphoria. She reaches under your shirt, her fingers dancing along your torso, and you moan, your mind foggy. You can't help the small sounds that escape from your lips as she touches you, her fingers tracing every curve, every angle, committing every inch of your body to memory. Soon, your top is tossed to the side, and her hands are exploring your bare skin. Her fingers run up your spine, and you shiver, goosebumps forming. She pulls away, and a whine falls from your lips, a sound that causes her to laugh.

"So easy to please," she teases.

"Sh-shut up," you protest weakly. 

Suddenly, she grabs you by the waist, pulling you into her lap with an ease that catches you off guard. You're stunned into silence, and she wraps her arms around you, enveloping you in a tight embrace. You let out a yelp, and her nails dig into your skin, the sting making you bite back a groan. She places her chin on top of your shoulder, and her hands move lower, settling on your hips. She squeezes and forces your hips into a grind, her thigh meeting the apex of your legs. Your eyes flutter shut, a wave of heat pooling between your legs, a warmth filling the pit of your stomach, a small moan escaping your lips. She chuckles, her breath tickling the back of your neck.

"Fuck," you choke out, the embarrassment clear in your tone as you continue to your center against the smooth skin of her thigh.

"You're funny," she murmurs with a smile, and presses a kiss on your cheek. 

A blush creeps onto your cheeks, and you hide your face, burying it into her neck. You inhale deeply, her scent filling your nose. She still smells so sweet, like dessert, and you want to lick her, devour her, but instead, you press your lips to her skin, and she moans, gripping your hips hard enough to leave a mark.

"God, you're so beautiful," she whispers, her nails digging into your hips. "So, so pretty."

You moan, the heat between your legs intensifying. Her words go straight to your core, and you can't help the small, high-pitched whine that leaves your mouth, a sound you'd be ashamed of if not for the fact that you can't think, can't focus, can't even process her words.

One of her hands slips around your waist, grabbing at the bare flesh of your ass. Your breath hitches, and she pulls you closer, her mouth finding the spot on your neck that drives you wild. Her teeth scrape against your skin, and her tongue laps at the hollow of your collarbone, the sensation eliciting a loud moan. You tilt your head, allowing her access, and her mouth moves downward, to your breast, her tongue circling one of your nipples. Your eyes squeeze shut, the tension in your abdomen mounting. It was overstimulating, her thighs, the way her tongue felt against you, the way her fingers squeezed at the flesh of your ass, the way her hands explored the planes of your body, and it was all too much. 

"I'm gonna—" you start, and her hand moves between your legs, pressing her fingers against your throbbing clit. 

You let out a cry, the orgasm hitting you hard, the intensity somehow stronger than before. Her fingers slide easily against you, and you clench around her, the waves of pleasure washing over your body.

She lets out a soft sigh, and she pulls away, her black eyes meeting yours. You don't care enough to feel frightened this time though, being so flooded with exhaustion that you collapse back onto the bed, barely able to keep your eyes open. Sharp, short breaths escape from your lips, and a numbness starts to spread throughout your limbs, a strange calm settling over your body that you've never felt before. Somewhere in the back of your brain, alarm bells are going off, but they're drowned out by a heavy sleepiness that takes over you. 

"Go back to sleep, Y/N." she says, her voice distant, muffled. "It's alright."

You can feel the weight of the world bearing down on your shoulders, and the bags under your eyes seem to grow heavier and darker with every passing second. It has been a very long time since you were last able to sleep properly. You wanted to talk to Bada more, but you can feel yourself beginning to lose control, your mind going blank and your muscles becoming weak. 

"Bada..." you mumble, her name rolling off your tongue.

Before you can further speak, the darkness seeps into your mind, and you allow yourself to succumb. But, the feeling that accompanies you into sleep is an uneasy one, a cold sensation wrapping itself around your body like a snake squeezing the life out of its prey. 

"Good night," Bada whispers, the words echoing in the darkness, the sound fading into nothingness. 

[lucysarah-c]

Following your answer on homosexuality in AoT, how would sexism in AoT be handled on both sides of the spectrum, female and male, on Paradis and in Marley?

Hi, dear! How are you?

Ah, that's such a good question. You know, I did a post about it a LONG time ago, but it’s a topic I touch on a lot in my fics and here from time to time.

I'll set the context of my reply with three ideas. First, sexism or misogyny ALWAYS exists. It exists in our society like oxygen does. In many countries, it’s not the same sexism as in the 1800s, but it still exists. Second, the Scouts PER SE are the "wokes" of their time; they don't have the same views, lives, and beliefs as regular people inside the walls. So I always think that the Scouts are a bit of an "exception" from the rest of Paradis.

Third, and I state this because my blog is Levi-centered, Levi is ALREADY a person, and in particular, a man, with a very different and unique upbringing. I DO believe that Levi has a more "modern" or "woke" view on "women," "women's rights," and "house chores" than the rest of the men. I'll simply say this: a man who saw his mother being treated like garbage because she worked as a prostitute, a man who had to raise himself, and a man who RAISED a girl out of pure heart. I hardly think he judges women on how they dress, who they sleep with, or thinks that "a man shouldn't cook or clean/take care of the kids." So Levi is kind of an exception for me. This doesn't mean he doesn't have internalized misogyny or "micro-sexism" (which I'll talk about later).

Overall, despite both societies allowing "women" in the military, I don't think their views on women or men's roles are much different. I believe there are a few clear examples of this in the manga. If my memory serves me correctly (and take this with a grain of salt because I know that Isayama gave multiple interviews, and a lot of them were edited), he said on one occasion that the Scouts were different because usually, everybody helps with all the chores, like cooking, cleaning, etc., because they work more united and as a family than the rest of the military divisions. Second, he said in one interview right after the manga ended that when he draws "military boards or higher ranks," he always keeps in mind not to add women because they aren't allowed.

Other scenes that quickly come to mind that make me think that Paradis (and I'll speak mostly of Paradis because we don't see much of Marley as a society) is a very sexist society with traditional views:

Most of the time, when we are shown military members from the Garrison OR the MPs, they are mostly men.

Which women are shown that are "recalled" from the Garrison? Riko and Anka… What role does Anka have? Being a secretary for Pixis, more or less, a very stereotypical role for a woman.

A very memorable woman from the MPs is Hitch, and there's a scene where it's clearly said that "there's only one way a woman like Hitch can get into the MPs," basically stating that she made sexual favors to get into that position.

Not a single scene from the military board or higher-up positions shows a single woman.

All the mothers of the characters shown in the story are "housewives" or "stay-at-home moms," which is absolutely fine if a woman decides to dedicate her time to her family as long as it’s a decision she made and not because she didn’t have "other options." Even Eren's mother, Carla, is shown to work as a waitress before she became a mother and a housewife.

All this makes me conclude that probably women inside the military never reach far, either because they aren't allowed (men are preferred over them, offered better positions, promoted first) or because once they get married, they are expected to become stay-at-home wives. I can clearly imagine people thinking that if you get promoted as a woman, it's because you're sleeping with your boss, or if you haven't gotten married and had kids at a certain age, "you're wasting your time" or "a woman's role is to be a mom; they only feel fulfilled like that."

This creates a power dynamic: women are expected to be wives; therefore, men are expected to be the main providers. And this is something I can see men, particularly Levi, being affected by. In my fic, I wrote once that Levi gets very offended when the reader invites or pays for him because she comes from a wealthy family. For Levi, as internalized misogyny, HIS role as a man is to provide. What kind of man is he if he's not paying? Especially for the Scouts' men, it's said that the Scouts have the lowest salaries in the military. If they can't provide, their chances of getting married are probably low. Even today, a lot of men get sensitive or offended if their wives make more money than them. Or men get irrationally jealous and butthurt if their women are more successful than them.

Another way men might get the sour end is in terms of emotional availability. While women's harsh reality is known, men's struggles often aren't. For example (one from Marley), Reiner's mother suffers a lot of social prejudice because she had a kid out of wedlock, and her only "salvation" is that Reiner becomes a warrior. Even today, men struggle with being emotionally available and having more feelings than just "lust and anger." I can totally see men all over the AoT world having to be these "very tough" guys who are only allowed to be "human" when they are alone with "their girl/wife." This happened a lot after WWI; men were sent back home with horrible memories of war and society expected them to just "toughen up and be men." Go, work, and provide for your family; and if you're suffering from everything you lived, then learn to be a man.

It's like I can literally imagine Erwin perhaps complaining that he's having a hard time, and Zackly or any other dude would be like, "You know what you need? A wife; she will take care of the rest."

"I don't have time to dedicate."

"Doesn't matter, a good wife always understands."

"… my salary isn't that good."

"Oh well, you know it's never too late for you to change divisions and settle down." pat on the back lmao end of the advice, and Erwin has the same emotional stress as before.

Overall, I think their views are probably as traditional as they were only a couple of years ago. This is completely ignorable for the sake of fanfiction and having fun; not every piece you write has to send a message or be political. But if you ask me how I think canon AoT characters are, I believe a good part of them, if not most, would be very traditional.

Hope this helps! I tried to cover everything I could remember while being as concise as possible. Thank you so much for your question!

Lots of love!

[starryevermore]

the house of snow (21) ✧ coriolanus snow

the house of snow ✧ a royal coryo au | pinterest board| ao3

pairing: king!coriolanus snow x fem!reader

series summary: the king of panem is in search of a bride. and, for reasons you can never understand, coriolanus snow has set his sights on you. it would never be a happy marriage, you’re sure of that. but none of that matters, because when snow decides he wants something, he will do everything in his power to ensure it is his. 

chapter summary: changes are coming.

word count: 2,010

series warnings?: 18+ MINORS DNI, royal au, regency au, arranged marriage, rivals to lovers, obsessive!coryo, jealous!coryo, protective!coryo, eventual smut, eventual pregnancy, more tags to be added later

chapter warnings?: implied smut, sickness, pet name (petal), not proofread

“I never imaged that Coriolanus Snow would be the sort of man to wrap himself around his wife’s finger,” Clemensia said, stirring her spoon in the china teacup. The metal clinked against the porcelain. She lifted the spoon from the cup and set it on the plate before taking a long drink.

You had invited her and Livia, among some other young ladies of the ton, for tea. The rest of the ladies had broken off in their own conversations while you remained with your friends. It was nice to see them. Though you loved your Coryo, sometimes it was good to spend time away from him. It reminded you of how much you enjoyed his presence. 

“I never imagined him married. I sort of thought he’d live alone forever. He never cared much for chasing after girls at the Academy,” Livia admitted. Her face paled as though she realized who she was speaking to. You almost laughed at the scared, mouse-like expression. “I mean no offense, Your Majesty.”

You waved her off. “You can speak freely to me. I must admit, it is nice to hear that someone didn’t think my Coryo to be the marrying type.”

“Oooh, your Coryo,” Clemensia teased, brushing her elbow against yours. 

“Oh, hush,” you laughed. “I thought I was truly blind when he told me he’s wanted my hand since we were fourteen. At least now I can say I was not blind, but rather that he was terrible at communicating his feelings.”

Livia’s brows raised to her hairline. “Fourteen? Really?”

“He’d been asking my father for my hand since we were eighteen,” you added. “My father refused until Coryo made a name for himself.”

“And of course he would take that to mean he must be crowned King,” Clemensia said. “He was never anything but ambitious.”

Livia smiled and reached for your hand. She gave it a squeeze. “That is so romantic. A man who will take a kingdom so he can earn his love’s hand. People write stories about that sort of thing.”

“That sounds like the stories you would read, petal.“

All other conversation in the parlor had ceased. You didn’t have to turn in your seat to know that Coryo was behind you. His firm hands came to rest on his shoulders, and he leaned down to press a kiss to your temple. A smile pulled at your lips. 

“Do you think all I read is romance?” you said. 

“Not all. But everyone needs something lighter after reading about history and politics all day,” Coryo said. His fingers trailed off the lace of your gown and to the exposed skin by your collarbone. A shiver ran down your spine. Why had you tortured yourself with this tea again? “Besides, you had to get the idea of a love match from somewhere.”

You watched as Clemensia leaned over to Livia. Her voice dropped to a stage-whisper as she said, “Aren’t they much cuter than her and Lord Plinth would ever be?”

Coryo’s fingers curled into your skin. It didn’t hurt, but it reminded you of how you and Coryo lost a friend. Even if Sejanus could leave the Peacekeepers and return to the Capitol, nothing would ever be the same. You couldn’t imagine a world where you all could be friends again. You reached up and took his hand, lifting it to your lips. He relaxed as you kissed his knuckles. 

“Much cuter,” Livia agreed. 

Clemensia’s eyes glinted with mischief as she turned her gaze to you and Coryo. “A shame he enlisted with the Peacekeepers. I wish he could see the two of you so sickeningly in love.”

“Perhaps that’s why he enlisted. Because he couldn’t live with himself if he wasn’t the one making her so happy,” Livia mused. 

Oh, that was such a romantic way to think of it. If only they knew it was because he was so in love with you that he begged you to run away with him. If only they had seen the King so red with anger, how you had thought he would have killed his once-friend with his bare hands. If Livia was writing your story, she would make it seem like Sejanus peacefully stepped out of the picture. She wouldn’t make it seem like the betrayal it was. 

You lifted your chin to look at your husband. While his face was painted to look calm, you could see the anger swirling in his pale blue eyes. You kissed his knuckles again and said, “Why he left doesn’t matter. Not when I have such a wonderful husband by my side.”

Coryo’s tight-lipped smile turned genuine. “And with that, I must steal my wife away. We have important matters we must discuss.”

You held onto Coryo’s hand as you rose from your seat. He led you out of the ignore, the both of you ignoring Clemensia’s giggled “important matters, hm?”. Your heart beat hard in your chest as you walked down the hall. He wouldn’t harm you, you were sure of that, but you didn’t like when he let the anger simmer.

Coryo took you to the office and shut the door behind you. Once alone, he tugged you against his chest and pressed his lips against yours. A gasp escaped you, allowing him the opportunity to slip his tongue in your mouth. Your arms wound their way around his shoulders. You hand tangled itself in his hair. Well, this certainly wasn’t what you expected, but you weren’t going to kick a gift horse in the mouth. 

“I would marry you again,” he grunted against your mouth. “I would marry you every day for the rest of my life.”

“What’s stopping you? You are King. The only person you let order you around is me, and I would never deprive myself of you again.”

Coryo pulled away. Before you could inquire why, he was sinking down on his knees. He pushed your skirts up, hooked one leg over his shoulder. His nose brushed against your clothed core, wet mouth pressing kisses. Coryo pulled down your undergarments and began to recite his vows. 

“I, Coriolanus Snow, take thee to be my wedded Wife, to have and to hold from this day forward…”

Your stomach churned as you ate breakfast. With every bite, it took tremendous effort to keep the food down. Even with a generous amount of water between bites, it doesn’t seem to help. Part of you wanted to believe it was because you would be meeting with the Electors for the first time since your engagement to Coryo. But you knew it wasn’t nerves. You had had a rare clear schedule two days prior when you found yourself knelt over a chamberpot, the remnants of lunch spilling out with no end in sight. 

“You don’t need to meet with the Electors if you are not feeling up to it,” Coryo said from the other end of the table. He had finished his own breakfast what felt like hours ago. In reality, it had only been a few minutes. Yet every effort to eat your own meal seemed to take eons. “I can meet them on my own, or we can reschedule. No one will fault you if they wish to live.”

The threat was meant to make you laugh, and you might have if the nausea didn’t overwhelm you. A Peacekeeper from the corner of the room raced over with a vessel for your vomit. You heaved until there was nothing left, barely noticing that Coryo had came around your side and was rubbing your back. 

“I take it back. You are not going,” he said. “They should be arriving soon, but I will inform them that we cannot take visitors at the moment.”

You lifted your head. Sweat beaded on your forehead, and you knew you looked as sick as you felt. Still, though, you argued, “I am fine now. I-I just need a moment to freshen up. Whatever sickness that was has passed. I am fine, Coryo.”

“Is that why you pretend I don’t know you have been sick every day this week?”

You had prayed he didn’t notice. A foolish thought, to be sure. But he never made a comment when you would slide out of bed or would excuse yourself from the office. 

“You never said anything.”

Coryo sighed. He ran a hand over your hair, careful not to mess up the delicate pinnings. “Nor did you. I thought you might have wanted space. If you do, I will continue to allow you it. But I will not let you go to meetings and make yourself worse. Go back to our chambers, take a bath, and I will have a physician sent up.”

“Coryo—”

He hushed you and pressed a kiss to your forehead. “Please, petal.”

You frowned, but conceded. When Coryo looked at you with that serious look in his eyes, it was hard to fight back. So you rose from your chair and retreated to your chambers. A lady’s maid was quick to help you out of your dress and undid your hair while another servant drew you a bath. Once in the bath, you tried to push your mind away from your sickness. It was easy to do until a servant came in to let you know the physician arrived. 

Rather reluctantly, you left your bath and slipped on a shift before letting the physician inside your chambers. You offered a tight-lipped smile as he gave a quick bow. 

“Thank you for your haste,” you said, sitting on the edge of the bed. The physician pulled the bench by your vanity over so he sat in front of you. “I am certain this will pass soon, but Coryo wanted to be certain.”

“Of course, Your Majesty,” he said. “I am sure you would much rather return to your duties, so we can make this quick. Could you tell me your symptoms?”

You began to rattle them off, your heart sinking as you began to realize how much you had been sick over the last week. How had Coryo managed to stay silent this long? Did he realize how ill you had been? Judging by the on the physician’s face, you began to worry that you and Coryo had waited too long to do anything.

The door creaked open. Without really thinking of what you were doing, you stood up as Coryo entered the room. He nodded at the physician before coming to your side. You sat together. His hand instinctively took yours. 

“Is everything well?” Coryo asked.

“I will need to ask a few questions first, but I am certain all is well, Your Majesty,” the physician said.

“Ask away then,” Coryo said. 

The physical looked to you. “Forgive me for my bluntness, but when was your last courses?”

Your grip on Coryo’s hand tightened. When had that been? It felt like nearly a lifetime ago. How long ago had it been since you bled? You used to be so diligent about this. Your mother always stressed the importance of it. She would say it would be important when you were married, because that’s when you knew when you would have children. Children. Oh. 

You counted back the days and the weeks, your heart racing as you couldn’t pinpoint the exact time. “Right before the wedding,” you decided. “The day you threw the ball, Coryo.”

Coryo’s head snapped to yours. “That was nearly two months ago.”

The physician smiled. “Ah, well, then that’s likely what’s at issue. I have a few tests we can do to be certain, but I do believe we have found the source of your sickness, Your Majesty.”

Suddenly, you very much wanted to throw up again. Could it really be so soon? You tried to recall married couples that came before you. How long had it been for them? You wanted to say a lot longer. Certainly not a mere two months. 

“Congratulations,” the physician said. “Panem will rejoice when your babe arrives.”

You vomited on his shoes. 

[formula1blog]

Continue the legacy

Masterlist

2032

The skies were gray as the rain fell from it. Everywhere you looked were puddles forming from the rain and people hurried to take cover. In the midst of this chaos, a small but determined figure stood out - Sofie, who was refusing to let the rain ruin her karting practice.

"Sofie, let go inside. We don't want you to get sick." Max tried to convince his daughter to follow him inside, but the girl was to suborn to listen

"No, papa. We still have to practice," she replied, her voice firm and resolute. She walked back to her kart, but before she managed to sit inside it, her father lifted her off the ground and into his arm. The girl tried to escape from her father's grasp, but she was just squirming like a fish on the dry.

"It is not fair," she pouted. "If I can't practice, I'll never be as good as you." Max's heart melted at his daughter's words. He knew that he had been pushing her too hard, but he wanted to help her as much as she could. Formula 1 wasn't easy to get into and for a woman the chances were almost zero, but Max wouldn't do anything to make her dream come true. Just like his own father had pushed him when he was younger. 

"Don't say that," Max replied, trying to reassure her. "We can practice when the sky is cleared. I promised, lieverd." He kissed her head and carried her inside to sit with the rest of the people who were taking cover from the rain.

As they reached an empty table, Max put Sofie back down on the ground and had to take her arm to stop her from running back out into the rain.

The rain reminded him of his own karting days - only his dad had always forced him to be outside, not caring what the weather was. If it was raining, Max was in his kart. If it was snowing and everyone was inside drinking hot beverages, Max was in his kart. Jos would stop him from going inside, instead of stopping him from going out to race in these weather conditions. Max knew that what his father had done was to train him, and it had worked - he had become a five-time world champion with his help. He wanted to help Sofie, like his father had helped him - only he wasn't planning on giving her any traumas in the process.

Max smiled as Sofie went to sit on the chair with a frown on her face. She tried to look angry, but it was a sweet sight. "Can I have some hot chocolate?" she asked, her voice a little more subdued now that she was no longer thinking about karting practice. 

"Of course, lieverd, I" Max replied, getting up from his seat to fetch a cup of hot chocolate for his daughter. "If you promise to not run away." Sofie put out her pinky to promise that she would stay put here and not try to run back outside into the rain. Max just hoped he didn't have to sprint after her back into the rain - that had already happened on multiple occasions today alone.

When Max reached the cafe he heard the ring on the bell, knowing someone walked inside. Just like every other curious person, he turned around to look and saw the Leclerc family walk in. Charles was walking hand in hand with his wife and Jules was attached to his hip. Alexandra carried the youngest member, Eloise, in her arm. Eloise had been born almost two years after Sofie, at the end of 2029. 

Max waved as Charles looked into his way and a smile formed on the Monegasque man. "Good afternoon, Max. Having the same idea as us?" he asked, his deep voice carrying across the room. Max greeted Charles with a nod and a smile before turning to greet the rest of the family.

The families had been growing closer. Both of them lived in Monaco and Charles and Max have known each other since they were children. It also happened that their children wanted to do karting, so sometimes they went together. Charles, Max, Jules and Sofie.

"yeah, Sofie wanted to go karting so who am I to say no. 

"Where is she?" Alexandra asked as she looked around where they stood. Max pointed his fingers to the table and the two Adults followed with their eyes. Sofie was still a bit sulking, but at least she was doing it on the dry. "She looks sad, what happend?"

"I am a bad father for not letting her kart in this weather." Max answered. He heard his name call, mentioning he could order. "Do you guys want anything?" he already ordered the hot chocolate for Sofie and him, as Charles asked Jules if he wanted anything.

"Can I have one too?" Jules asked excitedly, fidgeting with his clothes as he looked up at his father. Charles smiled and nodded his head. 

"Of course." max said as he orders one for the boy and two tea for his parents. "You can sit with Sofie if you want" Jules looked at his dad as if he asked for promission and Charles just smiled and nodded his head. Jules walked away, his mother and sister following, leaving the two men to themselves. Sofie wanted to walk away when she heard people sitting, but when she saw who it were she giggled and smiled.

"How is retirement treating you?" Max asked Charles. Monegasque had retired at the end of the 2031 season after some tough seasons with Ferrari, where he struggled to find his rhythm and pace. Oscar Piastri had won both the 2031 and 2030 season in the Red Bull team, being almost as dominant as Max had been in 2023.

Charles shrugged his shoulders, "It's nice, really. I love that I'm able to spend time with my family whenever I want. It's great to support Jules in his dream to become a racing driver and I love karting with him. I get to relive those childhood memories with my son, and it's amazing to see him grow into his own passion for racing. And, of course, I'm grateful for the quality time with my wife and daughter. We can plan vacations whenever we want, and not have to worry about scheduling around race weekends." He paused, a thoughtful expression on his face. "It is great to have this sense of freedom and flexibility, but I do miss it."

"Understandable. I still miss it. Of course I still do sim racing, but it is different. I love when Sofie asked to go karting, because sometimes I can do it too." Max replied, nodding sympathetically. "She's getting older now, and it's special to share those moments with her. Before you know it they don't want to do it together anymore." 

Charles agreed with him, "We should grab our cars and go racing against each other on the Nürburgring, just like the old times."  His eyes sparkled with excitement at the prospect.

Max grinned, "We should." He picked up the drinks they had been waiting for and together they walked towards the table.

Alexandra thanked him as Max gave her, her tea. "What are two grinning about?"

"Just making plans for racing."

Sofie looked excited, "Can I come?"

Max smiled at her beaming face, "I am sorry lieverd. You have to wait till you are older."

"You are letting me do nothing." She crossed her arms and let out a sigh.

read on A3O

Tag list: @hiireadstuff @nikfigueiredo @elliott-calls @g-l-o-b-e-w-h-o-r-e

[luffyvace]

Vinsmoke Sanji x reader who fights his royal treatment~

@starrymiko suggested/requested these!! This a fun idea I’ve never seen before, because most people ik wouldn’t reject royal treatment from a hot guy—turns out I have a lot to learn (😂💗)

I really don’t how to explain this as a short title so here’s the post where they explain it better than me: Vinsmoke Sanji with reader who rejects his royal treatement

also going to link the posts they got inspired by/read to give them this idea:

Dating ~ Sanji Vinsmoke ~ headcanons & Dating ~ Sanji Vinsmoke ~ headcanons pt2

Sanji loves hard when he loves

And he certainly loves you!

He’s also a very expressive man!

whether he despises you or wants to marry you, he expresses how he feels!

usually verbally too

But he also has practically all love languages, and he tones them to your favorites

but one trait that definitely sticks is his need to take care for who he loves!

so when you reject it?! “But my ethereal and whimsically attractive darling?! What do you mean??”

you explain that you don’t want his coddling and that you can do things on your own, as you prefer your independence

even though that’s not the full story, technically

Pushing him away is pretty darn hard as we see in the anime with Nami and Robin. He’s been trying and failing for 2 years..So if your his s/o this simps’ definitely not just gonna be like “ok 👍” and simply walk away 🤷‍♀️

Alr I apologize for that dad joke.

he’s gonna try every love language in the book to try and get you to open up, you two are dating after all, so maybe your just shy? Awww so cute! His dearest is embarrassed~ Physical Touch is probably the first thing he’d try and the first thing you’d say no to. Mainly since he’s a simp and touching is too direct for you. You guys are a really ironic couple since you’re almost scared of love and he’s all about it.

He tried to initiate contact of all types and got rejected each and every time. Let me carry you for a romantic walk as I hold your bags! 💥💥 “I said got it! 💨 🎒😑” Well at least let me carry the bag to your room! It’s really heavy! “No! I can do it on my own!” But darling- “NO!”

tbh you can hit him as much as you want but he won’t hit you back. So whenever you argue or fight about these kinds of things you usually end up winning the argument

for acts of service literally everything is a no- I washed your laundry for you! “What! Don’t touch my clothes! I’ve got it!!” I got that thing you’ve been searching for! “I wanted to find it myself! Now it’s not as rewarding! I could do it on my own! Stop doing things for me!” Darling, let me help~ 😞 “no way!”

tbh the only thing you let him do is cook for you because he is the cook, and even so, if you want to fix a snack you prefer to do it by yourself. It makes his love for cooking grow even more and he looks forward to daily meals because he can finally take care of you! 🩷

receiving gifts is probably another thing you’d reject seeing as though you’d figure you can get it yourself. But words of affirmation and quality time? May or may not be so bad for you! I’ll let you decide :) if you allow him to display his love in these ways he’d be overjoyed and just assume this is your preferred way of display of affection, and that the other 3 aren’t your forte 💗💗

when he finds out he’s truly scaring you away simply by treating you right and respecting you, he figures somethin’s up.

he’s gonna get to the bottom of it too, whether you like it or not because you, need. it. He knows what it feels like to bottle up your past and smile at the future, despite the fact that the past is still hurting you inside, and it’s like a ticking time bomb before you implode.

He knows he doesn’t want that for you. (Especially after whole cake)

So he’ll gently pry as much as he can with out upsetting you too much. It’s also helpful if you visit your home land, because then he can learn what it was like for you growing up.

if he finds out a person did this to you? They’re cooked.

LOL- literally tho, he’s going Infrit Jambe and lighting’ ‘‘em up! 🔥

if they’re a women he’ll explain the situation to Robin and Nami who’ll certainly want to help you, and they’ll beat up that trifling tramp! 💥

(even if you don’t visit your homeland this still applies ⬇️)

after that Sanji would want to ease you into being used to respect especially and his care too

now if your just naturally independent he’ll try and let it go as best as he can, but he does want you to command respect, because if you let others disrespect you, that proves you have no respect for yourself.

and it’s essential to be able to at least stand up for yourself on the grand line.

but don’t worry! If you won’t do it, he will for you! 😏 No? Well then stand up for yourself dear! 😊

🔥🧑‍🍳

🍜🍳🥘🥞

🔥🔥🔥🔥 Let. Me. COOK.

[back-on-my-autistic-bullshit]

Full Moon Stolitz thoughts

Alright I'm getting on this shit because I am obsessed with Stolitz unironically. Before I start this I want to be absolutely clear that (in my opinion) there is no "right" side in the overall situation between Blitz and Stolas. Both equally have problems that contribute to their miscommunication and I can sympathise with both of them. If you disagree, feel free to ignore this post and scroll on, I don't mind friendly debate with people I know well but strangers on the internet are a different story.

I do generally project heavily onto Blitz which yeah probably impacts my interpretation of this a lot but I'm just a guy on tumblr I'm not here to be 100% right I'm just posing my take on their behaviours etc etc

Mandatory Disclaimer: spoilers start below! Do not click read more if you care about spoilers for The Full Moon episode of Helluva Boss

That all said, I'm splitting this into three parts:

Blitz's behaviour throughout the episode

Stolas' behaviour throughout the episode

Blitz and Stolas' confrontation/argument/interaction at the end of the episode

Part One: Blitz's behaviour

Starting off with "When I See Him", the basics of it (that is played up a bit for comedy and more or less directly stated really at the start) is that Blitz is obviously covering up how he really feels by concentrating entirely on the sex he anticipates having, and acting like that is what is important to him.

Are we okay? Can't really say I'm getting by By avoiding his questions It's so complicated, I hate when it's complicated Why do I always end up in situations that are complicated?

Blitz knows there is something wrong, or off, between the two of them but he'd rather not talk or communicate about it - literally preferring to avoid the topic entirely because "complicated" = bad, and he has no idea how to fix that, despite the fact that most of his relationships have been and/or are still complicated, he doesn't know how to deal with that because he never learnt. He's started to with Fizz a bit at the very least, but he's definitely not in a place to do that with romantic relationships yet - but I digress.

Here I go again, getting in my head So I'll focus on the sexy stuff instead

Not too much to say about this part other than he is actively choosing to disregard his anxieties and worries about him and Stolas by putting on this mask of caring about the sex and nothing else. Honestly, not a surprise with Blitz, this is pretty average behaviour and is very much likely a common coping mechanism of his to avoid serious feelings when engaging in relationships of a romantic nature. Especially since he seems to place a lot of value in himself in how good he is in bed.

When I see him, I'm gonna do that thing he likes No need to change things, I'll just bring the ropes and spikes[/spice*] We've got a nice arrangement And it's working out just fine We'll keep it light

Can't wait to lose ourselves in nasty sex And make that bird squawk We'll just stick with what makes sense

Same as above, he's going to what's familiar and directly deciding he'd rather ignore any issues they have and not talk about them in favour of doing what they normally do on full moons and call it a night.

*my audio processing disorder really did not like that line, and I cannot completely tell if that's right - any mistakes in lyrics or other quotes from the show before or after this are almost definitely because of this so please feel free to correct me.

Moving on from the song, some things Blitz does or says during the conversation with Moxxie and Loona in the office that stick out to me.

It's the full moon, I gotta meet up with Stolas tonight. Felt like dressing up a little since it's been a few months since I've been inside his feathered ass.

This is personally really interesting to me since he's not been known to dress up explicitly to see Stolas before (excluding the posts that have been seen on the instagram accounts but I'm hesitant to count those as 100% hard canon, and they were outfits of a different variety - not a bowtie and suspenders as he's seen wearing in the episode). It's like he's trying very hard to impress him for.. some reason? I'm guessing he sees it as part of his whole plan to really sort of wow Stolas, get in there, get out, no touchy feely stuff. It comes off as the opposite to me though, it shows that he kind of values what Stolas think of him and his appearance - and that he wants to impress Stolas. This could just be him trying to prove his worth to Stolas so he doesn't get cast aside, but it could also be more.

This facial expression is very important to me. It's a split second frame of vulnerability in response to Loona saying the following:

Oh shit, he's getting bored of you.

This is genuine worry and concern on his face, he tried to cover it up with a smile but he is concerned. And yes, it could just be about losing the book, it probably is in part but I think it's more than that.

Loona also says this:

Yeah, man. If someone wants to see you less and less, big red flag. If they give you chances to ditch, they probably want out themselves. Just wanna be more passive aggressive about it, dicks.

When she says this Blitz reacts very on the defensive, repeating what she said mockingly and saying this:

How do you know, Loona?

It's a very defensive reaction and I'd bet he feels at least a little bit bruised and hurt at the thought of Stolas getting "bored" of him - which probably does not help at all with how he's struggling with how he currently feels about Stolas between the agreement for the book and not seeing him in a while.

Immediately after this interaction, he literally leaves his job (which like, yeah, he is own his boss I Guess he can do that whenever he wants but I can't imagine he does it a lot, I Hope, unless he thinks it's important) and goes shopping for more things to impress Stolas. It's a lot of effort to put into someone you don't really super care about, all things considered but let's just go with the devil's advocate here that it's not to lose the book and it doesn't really mean anything. Although I do find his choice to look at candles first interesting, assuming it's not for something else (resident sex repulsed asexual is struggling with thinking about that kind of thing - despite watching helluva boss lmao), Stolas seems to like candles. If I remember correctly, he has some near his bath.

An interesting detail for Blitz to know/remember/take into account, for someone he allegedly does not care about. Anddd that's it for Blitz's scenes in this episode.

Part 2: Stolas' Behaviour

Like with Blitz, I'm gonna focus on how Stolas acts in "When I See Him" first, then move on to what we see of him alone in the rest of the episode (which there's very little of, I think, unfortunately).

The summary of what I think of Stolas in this song is he clearly has a somewhat fairytale view of his relationship with Blitz still (which is only emphasised by how the song is disney princess like in nature), thankfully he knows he has to let him be separate from the terms of their agreement and has found a way for this to occur without horribly impacting Blitz's business. However, he (at least, at first) seems to think after this happens everything will go fine and be perfectly okay and happily ever after, or more likely hopes that is how the situation will end up - but we see more of his worries later on so he's evidently not completely deluding himself.

My derring-do is half disguised Behind a smile

I don't have a lot to say about this just that it shows Stolas is obviously aware that Blitz is performing at least a little when he's with him.

I swore I wouldn't dwell on the divorce

This line just interests me more than anything, it's understandable that he doesn't want to think about the divorce. God knows I wouldn't want to, but's it intriguing to see he's attempting to distance himself from it - I hope we see more about this in the future episodes, maybe.

So for my own health I'll remind myself That when I see him I know that it won't feel so tough I'll believe him And not the voice that says I'm not enough No need for an arrangement It can just be him and me I'll see us free How perfect it could be When I see him tonight

This bit is very sweet honestly, Stolas clearly yearns to be closer to Blitz - and he's trying his best to facilitate that. He just wants genuine connection and love, something he couldn't experience in his marriage with Stella. Stolas is obviously nervous and has some self worth issues to say the least, but he deals with them differently to Blitz. In fact, he finds that being with Blitz helps combat these (likely because he feels loved and/or wanted by someone).

Unrelated to dissecting the episode and the like, the voice acting for this part was incredible and I love the way Stolas' VA (his name has slipped my mind atm) conveys emotion in his voice - even while singing. He sounds very hopeful, yet the cracks and wobbles suggest how nervous he feels for the interaction with Blitz, even if he's currently acting as if he thinks it will end well.

Oh god I'll fucking die alone if this goes bad tonight

This bit really just kind of shows how nervous he does feel about talking with Blitz about giving him the crystal. And that he is scared it'll go wrong, it's nothing too crazy.

The detail of him having none of the medication he takes left is interesting to me though, just that he's still taking it, I guess - could suggest he's still struggling with anxiety etc etc.

Am I doing something I can't take back? Would he want me if he was free? And if he's only here as a prisoner What kind of a monster does that make me

Stolas is clearly feeling a lot of guilt for his past treatment of Blitz, and fear that his feelings aren't reciprocated - but it seems like he's more scared that he's been taking advantage of Blitz, than the thought that Blitz doesn't like him.

My entire life's been written in stone He taught me that I could choose

Blitz is the first person he really chose to meet or associate with, as a child and as an adult. There was no obligation to know him or socialise with him, or to be his friend (or more). In fact, it was discouraged if anything but Stolas chose to do it anyway - and it helped him realise he could do what he wanted, and gain the confidence to do so.

Part 3: Blitz and Stolas' confrontation

Stolas' body language here kills me, he's so nervous for what he's about to do, and despite his hopeful song early he's eerily somber - as if he knows this will end badly.

Blitz looks so afraid here, he's gone through all of this effort to try to impress Stolas and keep him from getting "bored" of him. Part of this is probably because he doesn't want to lose the connection he and Stolas have but honestly it's largely probably the fear of losing the book and his business that he's worked so hard for. Blitz is an incredibly ambitious person, and he's put a lot of blood, sweat and tears (mostly blood) into I.M.P and to have it taken away because of someone else due to not being good enough for them is probably one of his worst fears.

Blitz's immediate switch to trying to seduce Stolas is slightly jarring, but not all that surprising considering how this whole thing started. Blitz is desperate, trying anything to prove to Stolas he's worth keeping around. Meanwhile Stolas looks resigned, as if realising it really was just a performance for Blitz the entire time.

Stolas, please, I- I need this book. Please, I need this book, Stolas. I will do anything.

The immediate switch to begging, mixed with tears, took me off guard honestly. I didn't expect to see him do that but it makes sense considering how badly he treasures I.M.P and he really is just at the whim of Stolas and it could all collapse at any given moment.

I don't understand, why are you giving me this? Am I not like, fucking you good enough? Because I can- I can always do better.

This being Blitz's immediate reaction to getting the crystal from Stolas is upsetting. I was on the verge of tears here, he can't even comprehend that Stolas might genuinely want to give him a gift, not because Blitz isn't good enough, but because Stolas wants him to be independent. Blitz has never viewed himself as "good enough" for people and he puts on a lot of performances to convince himself he's worthy of being associated with others. This probably feels like, to him, a convoluted way of "getting rid" of him, instead of giving him freedom so he and Stolas can interact with less of a power imbalance.

This in an interesting roleplay, never done this one but I can get into it. How's this? Oh, Stolas, I'll stay with you, I love you soo much.

Blitz's immediate response to Stolas' confession being one of disbelief leading him into thinking it's some sort of roleplay or pretense because he can't possibly believe that anyone would actually love him is honestly worse case scenario and probably where all of this starts going downhill.

I have my answer, Blitz. You needn't say anything. I have wanted you, for so long. The fact that you couldn't believe that I might have these feelings about you, that your first instinct is that it's always about... sex. That's enough to know what this is.

This right here, is terrible. Miserable, even. Communication is starting to break down, Stolas doesn't realise or understand Blitz's point of view and I certainly cannot blame him for getting upset but how these two are communicating yet somehow falling victim to miscommunication at the same time is impressive at this point. They're both getting emotional, and it's fucking everything up but to be fair no one can remain 100% logical, this is nerve wracking and stressful for them both.

What? Fuck you, Stolas. You spring this feelings bullshit on me, are you fucking kidding? Can I get a fucking minute to think after everything you've put me through, you pompous rich asshole? Treat me like one of your little butler imps, you can't just dismiss me like that! I mean, you royal fucks think you can do this every time, like you can just play with our feelings because we're smaller and not as important! Well, I'm not letting you, bitch! Let's go!

This, this is incredibly cathartic in a weird way. It's not good by any means but for Blitz these bitter feelings have probably been somewhat simmering beneath the surface for a while and he hasn't been able to express them because of the nature of his and Stolas' relationship. The way he's phrasing this makes me wonder if he has previous experience with a royal demon doing this to him outside of now, and Stolas' father hiring him to be Stolas' friend when he was a child. It wouldn't be too unreasonable but putting that aside for a moment. The anger and lashing out here is probably a defense mechanism on his part, every time something has got vulnerable or upsetting in the past in this show Blitz always seems to get angry (an example that comes to mind at the minute is when Cash was celebrating Fizz's birthday - at the time he didn't say anything to Fizz but he stormed off, angry. Another one could be probably a few of his interactions with Verosika. I'd have to rewatch the show to find something more particular). The point is Blitz lashes out instead of being open and vulnerable, he doesn't mean or genuinely think any of this - and immediately regrets it as soon as he says it. But it's too late, it's been said.

Stolas flinches or pauses when walking a handful of times during this rant from Blitz, each time whenever he has an insult. Before he has even said anything it's immensely clear Stolas is very hurt by this.

Blitz. I think so very highly of you, I didn't realise you think so low of me.

This is the regret I was talking about, it's probably helped along by Stolas admitting he thinks highly of Blitz but god - he is crushed. And he immediately tries to apologise but Stolas teleports him out of there before he can even process it, leaving us on a terrible cliffhanger.

God, it's a fucking mess. They're a mess I'm so scared for the next episode and how they are even going to fix this. Someone get these gay demons a therapist, please, I beg.

All in all, ow my feelings, this episode hurt, I did cry. Stolitz have mastered the art of miscommunication, but that is hardly news. Blitz seems to have got a genuine wake-up call, sort of similar to how he did with Fizz and I'm hoping that kickstarts something to help him improve, because he does need to. At the same time, Stolas has kinda fucked up here, and does need to give Blitz more time to process since I imagine this is very fucking shocking to him. It's all one biggggg mess and god knows how it'll work out but I'm looking forward to finding out and hopefully not having my heart ripped out and spat on by the end of this season.

[notnights]

i legit love the idea of jax leaving anonymous gifts for gangle, and enjoying being on stage w/her bcs he's actually challenged and active enough to a point where he isn't feeling boredom or dread. also, there's a certain escapism in taking on the role of a character.

hmm, other ribbun scenarios? i can imagine gangle infodumping to zooble abt smth she used to watch, and jax feeling irritated by her rambling at first, but soon becoming accustomed to it and enjoying hearing her voice and opinions. perhaps he even remembers some of the shows she talks about. maybe he chimes in absentmindedly from his hiding spot and zoob n gangle are both like "u were here this whole time ??"

or what about caine using his ringmaster authority to make sure that jax is kind to gangle for a day? and now he has to do whatever gangle asks, and he's not allowed to break her mask. i wonder what she would do with that opportunity? dress him up in silly outfits? get him to pose in different ways for art references? like a mannequin doll.

i love seeing dynamics like these in moments where they have to work together for a common goal, as well. like, they get paired up together in an event and the reward is like. new crayon colours and a can of silly string/sticky hand/centipede or smth. i imagine a lot of yelling and fighting and cartoon violence shenanigans, but maybe, mayhaps, a "good job! we crushed em!" every here and there when things go well.

i also think jax trying to drag gangle away from a teaparty (hosted by ragatha ofc, no jaxes allowed) so that he can have an accomplice in ruining said teaparty for everyone would be fun. he wants to cause some chaos with his favourite victim

anyway hope u like these misc thoughts. idk im new to their dynamic :3c

1). Yeah it's a good thought! For a moment he can be someone else, someone who cares or someone who is open about being in the company of others.

2). I like to think sometimes Jax enjoys Gangle talking... but that's also why he doesn't like it. Doesn't like that something as simple as Gangle going on about something she likes makes him happy. Doesn't know why yet. Too close, too sentimental maybe. Feelings he's not ready for. So then he breaks her mask to shut her up. :(

3). I really want to imagine Jax and Gangle can get along in that way a bully and his lackey does. Bully picks on his lackey too but sometimes they get up to nonsense together and laugh at others together. Comedy!Gangle liking funny things too, which can range from something as silly as giving one ice cube to someone who asked for a couple, to seeing people get physically hurt (to the extent it happens in the DC anyways).

She won't go as far as Jax, when the going gets tough she'd start feeling guilty before Jax does, but up until then she's laughing and fooling around at Ragatha stepping on and getting slammed in the face by a misplaced rake.

Rare moments where they get along because Gangle is acting more willingly in Jax's interests. Idk if this idea has any merit with what we've seen so far. We still have no reference for Comedy!Gangle, and Jax atm really doesn't have any respect for her as an actual friend, at least when she's Tragedy!Gangle. I can only really imagine him getting along with Comedy!Gangle if she really is completely different though, and again we don't know if she is yet.

So it's an idea I haven't worked too much with despite how much I want it. I want them to be silly together. They both ave forever smiles in that aspect.

(concept for the next chapter-promo for the zooblecaine fic)

Anyways, with that said yeah something that gets them working with mutual goals is a good way to get that kind of interaction going. Awful together in a different way. Awful at each other vs Awful together at others lol.

4). Yeah I like the idea he'll drag her to help him with things too. Much to her dismay but she goes along with it, she doesn't really have a choice poor girl. Drags her around like a wet rag until he gets bored of dragging her because, what a drag!

"Wants to cause some chaos with his favorite victim," is such a good line also. I hate Jax, love to see him be awful. My poor girl Gangle deserves better.

[aurorangen]

you’re literally one of my biggest inspirations for how i hope to post my sims gameplay/storytelling, so you following is such an honor! Any tips for a newbie?

Ahh I'm so happy to be one of your biggest inspirations! Thank you so much ❤️ Just some tips I've seen from other people and from what I have learned myself on simblr.

-In terms of gameplay/storytelling I just go with the flow 😂 generate ideas with whatever comes to mind based on inspo from films, dramas, books and ofc other simblrs!!! With editing, I'm still learning! I remember seeing storytelling advice a long time ago from @rebouks and also gameplay tips from @acuar-io they helped me out a lot!

-It's ok to take breaks. I have felt pressure with posting before, but I have learned to post at my own pace 😊 In the end, simblr is a hobby and we all have irl to focus on, so remember to take care of yourself.

-Do what makes you happy, if you like posting a lot, that's great! If you rarely post, that's great too! Gameplay, story, cas, builds…do what you want! ✨YOU are the most important person on your blog✨

-Every blog grows at its own pace, some faster than others. You are just as valuable in the simblr community, no matter the interaction you receive. Yeah, it's nice to have lots of interaction. But it's even better to have your loyal followers/mutuals who will always be there for whatever you post 😀 It makes me happy to see familiar blogs pop up in my notifs all the time and I've grown a circle of wonderful simblr friends! You will find yours too and I'll be there to support you!

Good luck with your simblr journey ❤️

[bingeeaterblog]

// small warning big re touken hate it's a post on why I hate it and how I think it could've been done better BUT I encourage you to keep reading if you do like them and to give me your thoughts whether to tell me why you like them or why you think im wrong in some regards i love a good debate its why i joined Tumblr

I'm gonna start this off by talking about why I loved the original mangas touken.

They start off as strangers, them only having a REAL meeting when she saves his ass from nishio. Initially she was cold and rude, for every reason he was very disrespectful(also for good reason he was scared and all he knew about ghouls is that they are monsters who hurt people, one literally just had him in a choke hold) but I digress. Kaneki starts working at anteiku and he's shadowing touka much to her dismay she feels he can't do anything right and is just a know it all human.

Right off the bat they have a very interesting dynamic, touka learning to care for kaneki him starting to see her(and ghouls as a whole) as a person and not something he should be afraid of.

As time goes on, touka falls for him, it's what makes everything so hard when he abandons her. She feels betrayed he left just like ayato and her dad did no one ever stays for her? How could they? She makes herself so hard to love shutting everyone out. She blames herself partly, not being able to protect him from whatever happened at the aoigiri base.

When she does see him again she's angry! How dare he come back after all this! Why can't he just make up his mind! So she lashes out, she misses him so dearly but she can't tell him that? Let him know she cares? She hits him and tells him to never come back to anteiku (to her).

You can see why it's so appealing!! The angst!! The drama!!! They have it all! Toukas longing and kanekis isolation are what makes them so GOOD.

To explain why I don't like re touken we have to talk about why I don't like re touka.

Touka before was a very well rounded character, she was brash and a little impulsive, she loves the people around her even if its hard for her to show it in a healthy way. She'll do whatever it takes even if it means risking her own life.

Re touka, doesn't really have that. She's very... Water downed. I like to call it house house wife-ification. She's lost any semblance of her old personality. While I do like the idea of touka calming down and becoming more docile it's not done right, we meet her again and she's just... Like that? There's no character development of her changing it just happens! She's shaved down so she can be the perfect love interest for kaneki, it's even shown in her design! Her eyes are softer and she doesn't hold any of the same energy as old touka(this happens with a lot of female characters ishida just ended up giving them all the same face besides eto).

Kaneki is? Fine? I loved haise as a character and him and touka were sorta cute if u kinda ignore that fact touka isn't touka. Kaneki was fine and re and that's it, he's just okay. His Savior complex is removed and it's just "I wanna save people!!" The whole reason his savior complex is important is BECAUSE it ends up hurting more people he should've been developed to learn how to manage that and be the hero he could be.

Now for their actual relationship.

It's very.... Rushed? There's no tension no build up just "are you a virgin?" Which in my opinion is something touka would never say she'd stumble around it. they made her bold at the wrong times she's an awkward lil freak. And then boom! Sex yeah! And it's? Okay? It's not my favorite I felt like a sex scene between them should've been more desperate!! That's when the marriage bite should've happened! It should've bites and messy kisses and promises to never leave again! There was no passion! There was the "why are you crying" but that didn't really do anything for me!!

I do like the end scene where she was petting his hair that was very soft which is what he needs.

Then toukas pregnant!(Which is something I'll get into good another time) And it kinda feels like they only rush into the marriage because she is... Like I feel like they should've atleast had a dating stage y'know!! Everything just felt so fast with them and nothing like the original:(

The end credits scene feels nothing like touka, she looks dead that's not the character I used to know :( kaneki too only the scene with hide felt real

And yeah! I like ichika! But how cool would it have been if touka got pregnant AFTER re and in the end credit thing she was revealed! Another natural born one eyed ghoul!! Idk...

This is very messy sorry I had to get this out. if you like them? That's fine!! That's super duper cool its just not my favorite. Tell me why you think I'm wrong! Id love to hear your opinions

[aralisj]

hi umm if you wouldn't mind......... would u drop the "carmy is autistic" list..... because you're so right he's so autistic-coded but i want to compare notes

You don't know the can of worms that you just opened. Know that I cracked my knuckles and kicked my feet excitedly when I got this ask and I would LOVE to hear your insights too.

This is pretty much the format I used for myself, so I do apologize if there's something wrong with it. Also, this is only my appreciation of it and autism is a spectrum, etc.

Difficulty socializing - Imitating forms of communication (sign for "sorry", cursing) - Unable to read when he's being rude (shitty) and need for external confirmation from Sydney - Uneasy in group gatherings (not joining the rest of the staff for family during his first weeks at The Beef), avoiding social events (never been to a party, misses family reunions) - Can be gregarious when masking/using costumes - specifically the scene with him pretending to be Logan at the party - "And [Mikey] had this amazing ability. He could just, he could walk into a room, and he could take the temperature of it instantly. You know, he could just, he could dial it. And, um… I'm not built like that, man. I, um… I didn't have a lot of friends growing up. I had a, a stutter when I was a kid. I was scared to speak half the time. And, uh, I got shitty grades 'cause I couldn't pay attention in school. I didn't get into college. I didn't have any girlfriends. I don't think I'm funny."

Problems with body language - Cannot read easily when he's being teased/mocked and when he isn't: - He gets really defensive when Mikey and Richie mention Claire even if they're being genuine and doesn't calm down until Stevie says so. - He doesn't realize Sydney is joking at first in the alley scene or her outright mocking him in the S3 trailer ("I can sense the sarcasm" "No, no, no. Not sarcasm, snark, contempt even.") - Asking Sydney constantly what's wrong - he listens intently which suggests that he cares but he genuinely can't pick up on what the problem is - Lack of eye contact, especially at the beginning, giving priority to looking at the food than whoever he's talking to. He seems more comfortable with looking at Syd and Richie in the eye than the rest.

Difficulty making friends and navigating relationships - No romantic relationships before Claire (we assume 🤷🏻‍♀️) - When Claire called him and told him that Fak said he was his best friend, Carmy took a second to process and then agreed. He genuinely has no idea. - The whole "a girl who is a friend" debacle

Stimming - Fiddling with his spoon, shaking hands and blinking hard - Arguably, also smoking

Routine -~Consistency~ - "And the routine of the kitchen was so… consistent and exacting and busy and hard and alive" - Wears almost the same outfit every day (white t-shirt, slacks, coat, apron) - Doesn't deal well with change

Special interests - Cooking, drawing, (vintage) fashion - he's really out there cooking in hundred dollar t-shirts and gifting Thom Browne chef whites - Creative and flourishing in his chosen field ("I felt like I could speak through the food, like I could communicate through creativity. And that kind of confidence, you know, like I was finally… I was good at something, that was so new, and that was so exciting") - Understanding the world and other people in terms of food

Abnormal sensory response - Cannot stand certain sounds (~ball breaker~) and doesn't mind others (alarm) - Possibly heightened sense of taste/smell?

From childhood and more notorious overtime - Described as weird and shy even as a child - Stutter - Bad at school

More notorious under stress - Meltdowns and lashing out (1x07, 2x10) - Gets overwhelmed when plans change - Shutdown/anxiety attack after sleeping with Claire

Not playing cooperatively - Individualistic and cutthroat in the kitchen - VERY task focused (when he’s cooking HE IS COOKING) - Territorial over his things (knife) - He has a hard time finding a managerial style that suits him, delegating, and motivating the staff

Detail oriented - Toothbrush cleaning - The bowl thing in S3 trailer - His ~everything~ tbh

Depression, anxiety and APD comorbidity - Having special interests/happy stimming/needs shut down at a young age resulting in a pessimistic mindset (waiting for the other shoe to drop), anxiety attacks and unhealthy attachment styles - His trauma plays a huge role in this too but autistic children are particularly prone to suffering abuse in silence/staying in toxic environments and relationships

Insomnia

Alexithymia - "I Googled fun." - "I guess all the time I feel like I'm kind of trapped because I can't… Describe how I'm feeling. So to ask someone else how they’re feeling, that seems, uh… I don’t know, insane?" - "I hate this feeling" "What feeling, Carm?" "Uh, I'm not sure."

Black and white thinking - Difficulty focusing on more than one thing at a time, a very clear example is the majority of S2 when he's trying to juggle a relationship with Claire with opening the restaurant, while actively compartimentalizing the two of them, ignoring Syd's calls while he's out, then Claire's when he's at the restaurant - At the beginning of S1, he's hanging onto the idea that there's only ONE way to properly run a restaurant - Whatever "advice" he gets from Al Anon meetings is taken to the extreme, causing most of his fuck ups of S1 (more on this) - In the same vein, my boy can't understand a metaphor to save his life

I'm keeping track of the list (more or less) here

[etakeh]

[wantbytaemin]

it’s 1.18 am and i can’t sleep bc there’s a thunderstorm and i’m scared of them like a big loser so. don’t hold me accountable for my thoughts and feelings but