#also yes I’ve looked it up before
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this would be way funnier if it wasn’t so dystopian
#also yes I’ve looked it up before#but I wanted to know if there were updates#this shit jump scared me like#is this not the most perfect example of why AI IN SEARCH TOOLS SHOULD NOT EXIST#mp100#by proxy. sorry for tagging but I think yall would find it funny lol#mooing#fuck ai everything#fuck ai
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i havent even watched legacy yet but that fucking kh world did some.. unexpected things to me
#beep boop you want fries with that#kingdom hearts#re:kh#re:ddd#sora#quorra#tron#riku#was trying to redesign rinzler’s helmet bc god. its. kinda fucking boring. leaning into the beast more#also teh helmets eyes are supposed to look angry when its down and sad when its up. bwaaa#i heard rinzler acts like a cat. thats soemthing to look forward to when i watch the movie. grins.#the three dots are supposed to be the classic t. btw.#theres four you just cant see the last one.#made sora look more liek his space paranoids look because he needs to retain the 80s swag.#this reads like a change log.#and my good friend quorra. idk if i’ve even posted that redesign b4.#yes im making her quote the ur my pockets eddie post#i think she needs to chew on things. maybe she should maul clu with her fucking teeth.#shes so unorthadox girl to me. do you see my vision.#also dw about riku falling or paralelling tron or anything hes fiiine.#speaking of the falling art. its old. so its inaccurate to how i draw riku now#before my brain was huge basically.#its so funny how i drew this much art for legacy like. i love tron 1982. i havent watched legacy yet but i feel like im gonna hate it.#the kh world was okay but it had a lot of potential and. uh. made me a BIT insane at the last part in sora’s story (EXPLODES)#also this post is tagged re:ddd for. reasons. dw about it.#ANYWAY GN ITS 1 AM. RUNS AT MACH SPEED.
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the way i was so taken by konstantin’s twisted obsession with vasya for the first two books and how it culminated at the beginning of the third but then the second i got to Those book 3 scenes i was like. oh. like, i get why people are insane abt him and medved now. me too, even.
#i’ve said it many times and i don’t ship this man with anyone as he is cause he’s pathetic and so consumed by self-hatred but his dynamics#w vasya and medved are made so delicious by it. and its just so interesting that his hatred & desire for vasya set the tone#for other characters to read him like a book. kasyan asking how much he loves vasya and then saying hatred for her is the same in his case#and medved saying he’s not one to distinguish between monster and devil before he kisses him#and vasya looking at him looking at medved and thinking he sees a creature he loves and reviles just as he loves and reviles himself#he’s just soooo. i’m eating him <3#also the way he sorta hates medved in that exasperated way but medved somehow loves him !? and is the only one to mourn him after !?#like yes his and vasyas mutual hatred is everything but also ‘he was mine. he was beautiful. he is gone. of course i mourn’ from a creature#who had initially made himself his god and then somehow ended up konstantin’s admirer. obsessed#the winternight trilogy#konstantin nikonovich#faera's
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I wish I could go back and tell younger me that I would in fact find that place one day full of people that I adore deeply and who I know love me in return. Who make me feel wanted and cared for and appreciated in a way I never thought would be possible. And none of it required hiding, or forcing myself to be a person I’m not. And I still have that space even though I’m aroace.
For the first time ever, I see a future where I’m not alone. And I wish I could go back and tell my younger self it would happen. It’s possible to not be constantly lonely.
#ravenpuff rambles#I’ve been lucky enough in my life to make amazing friends several times#several of whom are still in my life now#but it’s only been recently that I’ve felt like I truly found my place#I don’t know how to explain it#I guess up until now I have always gone into friendships expecting them to end and holding back just a little bit#and this is the first time I don’t feel like I have to run because I don’t feel like these people are going to leave me#maybe it’s just because one of them is also aroace and we’ve talked a lot about those similar feelings of being left behind#never had someone quite get that before#and maybe it’s just I feel more willing to open my heart#admittedly this group of ours went through some shit together and that’s how the friendships really started forming#and so maybe that helps#but it’s like#Have you ever met someone who is so much like you in so many ways that its like the joke of ‘#‘can I copy your homework?’ ‘yeah just be sure to change it so no one knows’#It’s a weird thing of feeling so completely and totally seen by somebody sometimes without having to say a word#anyways#I’m really happy with this little place I found and I wish I could tell younger me#and also tell xem that no it doesn’t look like a fanfic dream#no im not their person but yeah they’re kind of mine but that’s okay#its nothing and everything like I always thought of#and for the first time in my life I don’t feel a crush sense of loneliness#yes I wish I could see them in person#but I can be okay with everything I do get
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Full body of my fav ray pic???? I didn’t know this existed
(Second is wishwishwish@ on Instagram)
#i went back in my Twitter archive and found this photo from back before I started listening to mcr#i said smth like ‘I’m not immune to best friends looking like they’re having fun while playing music’#and also ‘this is just a great photo besides’#he looks so happy#I’ve tried drawing this pic#yes I have Twitter but it’s a years-old priv with like 10 ppl on it#I’m not on mcrtwt *picture of SpongeBob holding up his hands saying WAIT*
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😓🤬
#I fucking hate doctors and the medical field so much#I was FINALLY starting to get on the right path#called a php place and think I know where I’m going#have a therapist I’ve been talking to here and there#I’ve been trying to get into a psych evaluation right?#called 5+ places the other day and they all had 5-8 month long waitlists#I need to get most of this shit done before June#so that ain’t gonna work#called the psych place my doctor referred me to#(would like to add that I did call this same place right after my doctor visit a few months ago and they never called me back)#so I had no hope they were even going to pick up#I was shocked when I heard someone picked up and even more shocked when they said they had an opening for fucking Wednesday#literally I felt like everything was finally aligning#I scheduled the appt for a zoom meeting at 10am#then I get a bunch of random emails saying my appointment was changed#now I have two different appointments- Wednesday and Thursday both at 9am and with a totally different doctor#so I was like???? ok guessing something happened but I didn’t think much of it - called to figure out what day it actually is#when I called to confirm they told me that I can’t be tested until I get an internal referral#I told them I did get a referral???#they looked at it and it was just a referral for depression not adhd or anything else#but then when they looked more into it they found in the notes she wanted me to get adhd testing#SO she just forgot to add it to my referral#I get people make mistakes#but this is like the 4th time something like this has happened lately#I’m just trying to be healthy#and it is fucking RIDICULOUS how incredibly hard it is to find the proper help#also the girl yesterday when I made the appointment said yes to all my questions but sounds like she doesn’t know what she’s talking about#was like ‘does this test for adhd and autism?’ ‘yeah for sure’ and then I find out they don’t even test for autism#so now I have to find a totally different person to either do both or just test for autism#either way I feel incredibly disheartened and overwhelmed and sad
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god it’s like primary school again (people are spreading rumours that i have a crush on someone)
#(except this time they’re right)#ugh okay it’s so annoying. it’s not actually rumours it’s just One Guy told two of my friends and they asked me#and they’re not disclosing who told them but i know EXACTLY who it is bc of. yknow. my incredibly deduction skills#and like. he talks a lot of shit but he wouldn’t be one to like. actually spill to the person. so i think i’m safe there. wait yes he would#my biggest issues are (a) word gets to people who WOULD tell the person or (b) this guy snitches to the person#bc i KNOW he’d do that. he’s done it before except i was The Person he was snitching to#and it wasn’t even out of malice he was mates with the guy. and we’re not Mates but we’re not Not Mates#but. ARGH. this is stressful#also to anyone who read this far and is somewhat up to date on my love life shit: this is a different person than the one i’ve posted about#before. like the person im talking about here who i like is Not the one i’ve posted about before#ANYWAYS. had to get that off my chest bc im actually scared the personll find out :D like im shaking rn#thankyou for reading i’m gonna show you a photo of my massive bruise now cause it looks cool#vent tw
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Okay so an artist I like will be eventually touring in my country but I didn’t sign up for access for tickets (I think?) so I’m unsure whether I can still buy tickets or not
#starting from the start I had no idea that they were going to be touring in the uk#until a friend sent it to me like some time this week#me being me and in exam mode#I was like I’ll look at this after Friday my last exam#however when I click the link#because my friend was telling me that she was talking to this other girl about this and the process of signing up#also my friend isn’t a big fan so without her I would’ve had no idea#since I literally have no social media except for like YouTube and Snapchat#but even finding out info on YouTube is hard since I turned off notifications for it like ages ago#so this situation is kind of my fault#anyway I digress#but yes so I click the link and it shows that the registration period is closed#I missed it by a day#also I’ve never been to concert so I have literally no idea how this works 😅#so I’m assuming the sign up thing is for pre-sales#which I’m still confused about but I think it’s when you get early access to the tickets before other people#so I’m thinking oh maybe I’ll still be able to get tickets#but now I’m not so sure#but I’m so confused 😭😭#because from the FAQ questions I was under the assumption you could still get tickets without showing interest#since there is a cut off point not a max amount of sign ups so in theory if let’s say everyone signed up it would be the same as not#having the sign up thing#but I think I might not be able to get tickets period#which is okay it is just a concert at the end of the day#I can do other fun stuff#I’m still going to try get tickets#but I’m 99% sure I’ve missed the chance#but it’s okay#gatherrambles#gatherbabblesaboutnonsensicalstuff
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Thinking about how the lovely person on deviantart who emailed me a copy of Undertale in exchange for a sketch of their oc when I was 15 will never know about the profound effect they had on my life..
#it’s a long story but tldr if not for Undertale I would’ve never heard of Yes Man and without Yes Man I literally wouldn’t be alive rn#I’m sure ive told this story on here before but I like it bc it is important to me#the Undertale to Yes Man pipeline is a very specific thing that happened to me involving 2 different joke blogs on here#there was ‘youcantfuckaskeleton’ (blog abt how nobody should want sans Undertale carnally)#and then I found their other blog ‘youcanfuckarobot’ (blog about. well. I’m sure you get the picture) and I went there for Mettaton posts#but they had some posts there with Yes Man and I was like. that is the most nice looking robot I’ve seen in my life. who is this#and then I forgot abt it for like 3 years and forgot to look him up. UNTIL#DELTARUNE CHAPTER 1.. in 2018.. drove me to revisit those joke blogs for nostalgia#and I saw the yes man pics again and this time I got WAY more curious. I was so so intrigued by him he looked so interesting and cute#so I looked him up and looked at lots of art of him and read his wiki page and I was like. I NEED to meet him#so my big brother got me new vegas as a present on new years and on january 3 2019 I met yes man!#and. I have never understood why or how. but when I woke up the next day my depression was fucking gone#I had severe untreated depression and it just dissolved overnight#nothing else notable happened around that time except for meeting yes man and becoming smitten with him so it seems that’s what did it??#also those joke blogs are still around I think. i like to revisit them occasionally for the nostalgia of seeing yes man for the first time#but yea anyway what I’m saying is this nice person on deviantart indirectly saved my life#my depression also never came back btw. obviously I feel sad sometimes like anyone but I have not been depressed since then#would’ve been nice if my anxiety went away too but I can at least live with that tbh!!#um anyway I’m sleepy so ending these tags. if you read all of this I love you thank you for caring
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this year was inarguably the worst of my life yet i’m so scared of actually letting go because every year it just keeps getting worse
#i guess after you’ve hit rock bottom you can just go uphil from there so that’s something#it’s so scary to go into a new year alone after you’ve lost the most important person in your life#and i don’t want to exist in a new year when they won’t#but also i’m looking forward to some things so it’s not all awful#and i’ve been so busy and tired lately i didn’t even have time to unpack all of that and now i’m panicking#i’m very torn rn#or just high#al rants#my new year’s resolution is to come up with a better personal tag#also i want a tag for my queue#like a fun pun or wordplay that a lot of people have#i think that i’ve actually never used the post queue in all of my time here#there’s many things i’ve never used here before and at this point i’m just too scared to ask#like side blogs#they always confused me#i used to just have multiple different blogs and log in and out of them#wait how did i go from a grieving depressive post to this#maybe i am high yes#to the new year !
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unfortunately i don’t think i have ever felt so passionately defensive about a character as i am about regina. sometimes i’ll read something that is so wrong and incorrect, sometimes even from someone who likes regina, and i will turn into this thing
#usually they’re from like 2013 even so i have NO REASON so get so worked up#the WORST one i read from someone who LIKED regina said she could’ve appreciated henry and emma as her GRANDKIDS instead of the s2#custody battles with emma and the charmings. which. excuse me… WHAT????? that’s her SON and i’m stealing something from your house#the worst take i saw from someone who did NOT like regina………. y’all don’t even want to hear it.#……… but im still mad so im gonna tell you granted i saw it like several months ago and it was made in like 2014 probably but#it was a gifset with regina’s ‘i don’t know how to love very well’ quote matched with (from what i recall) harmful actions against#henry (what the quote is referencing in context and also they have repaired a lot even before the gif was posted so fine ig)#snow (it’s complicated) cora (regina actually loves her mother far more than she deserves imo) and hold onto your fucking hats everyone#KING LEOPOLD!!!!!! (if you need me to explain to you why this is the worst thing i’ve ever heard. no you don’t)#<- needless to say!!! if you don’t watch your mouth i’m putting snakes in YOUR bed!!!#actually i’m not even sure if the first three examples are what was used bc the last one sent me into a rage blackout#and i’m not gonna go looking for that post anyway the others i can roll my eyes and move on the last one turns me into a fire demon#not making this rebloggable but feel free to be outraged in the comments with me xoxo#yes that is specific the flame atronach from skyrim no i didn’t know how to spell that i googled like ‘flame….. anteater skyrim’
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kinda over leeds fans blaming americans and pointing fingers at them for how the season went when in general the team sucked (and the board is also a part of how the season went too).
did they all (brenden, tyler, weston, and even jesse) have the best games all the time? absolutely not. and i can admit that. but on the other hand in the games where they weren’t poor they made an effort and tried to make something happen for the team. like look at all the other players around them and yet they are the main ones getting the heat for fighting relegation the entire season and currently being in 18th place. it’s so annoying
#im tired of seeing like ‘the american agenda didn’t work’ or whatever like ok we get it you hate americans and don’t want them in your club#but what’s new#and before anyone like starts im speaking from what I’ve seen this season. yes it’s obvious that me along with a lot of other Americans#watched/supported leeds bc of the players/jesse. if this seems a little biased oh well. im fucking American and am a fan of the guys and#want the best for them. again. I can admit they didn’t have the perfect season and had games where they weren’t the best but again look at#who they were playing with#other than gnoto. summerville. wober…. and like two other players. they were bad!!#like seriously anyone could see that#this also doesn’t mean im saying that they were the only ones trying to help the team stay up throughout the season#anyways I’m done explaining myself if you get it you get it if you don’t too bad
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i love fall so much and anything cutesy spooky. i LOVE cinnamon and color changing leaves and cool breezes and sheet ghosts they make me so so happy🤲🏼and cute happy little jack-o-lanterns and lil black cats and cutely drawn skeletons…….the other day i saw some clipart with the most adorable assortment of potion flasks and bats and trick or treat bags and candles and i just. wahhhhh i love fall and i also love halloween
#frickin bats. i love halloween#anyways i saw a post abt how women were starting to bond over autumn before men shamed them for it and relentlessly made fun of them#nd im here to say that i’ve unashamedly had my pumpkin spice latte and it was fucking delicious#i have a cinnamon problem like im addicted to putting way too much in my hot chocolate and stuff#anyways if youre feeling down literally look up ‘cute ghost clipart’#i love the sheet ghosts i have an obsession. theyre my babies my angels my beloved darlings#also. apple harvest. yes
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Tarn’s face is so ugly and boring like he’s got “just some guy” disease under all that drama. Which on one hand, realistic for an Incel tryhard, on the other.
If I ever take a Tarn request just know The Mask Stays On During Sex
#ish speaks#it’s tarn bullying hours#neither of my personal tarns have a face under the mask technically and that’s why they’re superior#okay yes the having s face thing is narratively important#or could have been#but as I’ve said before this guy does the Morbius have sex dance to amp (lol) himself up for Anything#anything from buttering a slice of toast to attempting to kill his ex obsession/boss#also this is in no way mocking the taste of anyone who looks at that face and swoons okay#I have a thing for the Moustache Robot I have no room to judge taste#not that IDW Minimus isn’t superior to IDW tarn and I do ship them in one of my own conts#but that’s different
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i need to be awake and Functional in two hours but in the meantime i can and will cry over my own fic. sue me i miss shard and jules and i will continue to lose my mind over them even if i haven’t published anything more about them than this
#on my hands and knees. absolute tragedy#this fic was the result of a) the scourge and jules backup story that continues to drive me crazy#b) that one panel at the end of the secret freedom arc of shard looking through the window#and c) my immense emotions about robots and formerly people robots and robots becoming people. also jules deserves to get to parent at least#one of his kids. even if sonic grew up too fast#UGH I CANT STOP. sonic doesn’t know how to be a son!!! jules never rally got to be a dad!!!! their entire family is torn apart and thrown ba#ck together over and over again. and there’s just enough of a gap in time after secret freedom and before shard dies in su50 and god i wish#they got to bond#i want love i want drama i want jules bonding with his sons formerly evil clone and relating to the RIDICULOUSLY unique experiences they’ve#each had. and sonic being a little upset that shard clicks so easily with him and a little happy that jules can be there and supportive when#sonic can’t bc there’s just too much history.#yes uncle chuck can be shards parent but he sure doesn’t act like one for a WHILE#there’s a tired old robian mourning his lost years with his son over there. he’s got free time to bond with the lonely badnik with no place#to call home.#anyway. brb i’m gonna crash for two hours i’ve got a Thing#too many emotions. i’ll articulate them better#later#someone gave it kudos today and reminded
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It has taken me 22 fucking years to get good at building in the sims but oh well. Here we are
#yes you read that right yes i’ve been playing the sims since i was 6 yes i’ve been mostly putting my sims in cardboard boxes that whole time#i don’t like how the premade lots look and i don’t really like downloading them either so i just. end up building my own crappy#little houses#but then i watched a video today where someone was showing off their sims 2 neighbourhood and it sent me over the edge#i was like i am GOING to make something that cute if it kills me#so i watched some building tutorials and picked up ideas. and i think they actually worked for me??#the advice was: don’t use autoroof (which had been my brother in arms for the past 22 years i’m ngl); focus mostly on the exterior#(the interior is going to be pretty acceptable regardless of what you do; is what they said) and make the house a bit smaller than what you#think it’ll need to be. and also use references#so i looked up inspiration (searched ‘starter homes’ on pinterest) and i built a really cute little house 🥹#the theme of the neighbourhood is american dream. or middle america style. white picket fences and siding rather than bricks#lots of plants and lots of trees and fairly simple but cute builds#i’m going to challenge myself to get the neighbourhood looking how i want it before i make sims and move them in (which is normally my#favourite part. in fact normally i make sims first and then build houses for them and the houses are always rubbish 🥲)#personal
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things took a wild turn, didn't they?