#actually nvm I won’t

[yutaleks]

aleks do you think yuuta would support my debilitating hello kitty addiction 🙏🏼

Who’s to say he doesn’t have his own collection of Sanrio plushies all lined up to marry your Sanrio plushies

[saffroncustard]

I go to work and I just enter a trance where I’m playing matré d’ simulator

[pepprs]

ok so updates w more detail now that i have a little more time to think / write it out. ik it’s silly / tmi to do this on tumblr dot com but whatever lol

i am 90% sure im going to rhode island for a conference in october. this one ive known about for a while and it’s not a big deal bc im not presenting or anything and i’ll know a lot of ppl there and the topic / contrnt / theme is completely in my wheelhouse so i will not be alone and i’ll be in the know abt stuff. lole

i am… 60% sure im going to chicago for a conference in november. and presenting. and i’ll be the only one from my team there. and this will be at a huge like… convention type thing in a field that is not mine and i won’t know anyone there except the other delegation members who will likely all be from the same department. it’s 5 days (!!!) and idk if i’ll be there the whole time but i kinda want to be even if most of it won’t be relevant to me bc.. like id be going alone bc everyone wants me to develop confidence and stuff and realize i can do it and represent us independently. and i want that. but im also fucking terrified in part bc this would be my first time traveling independently since brighton (so like in almost 4 yrs lol). also i have been to chicago before (in 2018 for a different conference) so im scared to like. revisit that. but also excited. like what if i meet someone? but what if im being pushed into this or pushed away? idk and now i can’t focus or articulate myself well bc there’s too much noise and everyone is trying to talk to me (i need to actually be doing work b it im typing this instead bc im freaking the fuck out over all these developments lol). anyways

also…….. i am……. 60% sure i am going to. take a graduate level course this semester. on mondays from 4:30-7. and then apply to be part of that masters program it’s in starting in the spring and ahve that class + a possible winter class count towards the credits. and it would take me 3 yrs to finish the masters. i don’t want one for the sake of havign one and i REALLY don’t want to be in the hell of being torn away from work and self care to do school stuff. but i need a masters degree and have had my eye on this program since i was a sophomore in undergrad and it seems kinda meant to be a little bit. and i get 100% tuition remission bc i work here LOLLLLL so it’ll be completely free which is huge!!!!! and it’s like why the fuck not if i have this opportunity but also im so scared and idk if im cut out for grad school due to my mental illness (unironically lol). help

also i switched desks this week and now i sit where my old supervisor (and my new supervisor / her successor LMAO) sat and this one colleague i have in a different dept who is the sweetest person EVER keeps commenting on it and saying im my old supervisors protege and that im the new her and. it’s making me want to scream a little bit but idk if it’s in a good way or bad way

[chikagestits]

Actually I’m kinda convinced my tumblr is broken like do people even SEE my posts anymore without me sharing them

I know in reality yes people probably do but yeah idk

I’m stupidly hung up on this

I’ve been dubbed so annoying now or something it’s over for me

[livvyofthelake]

remember crashing. phoebe waller bridge’s six episode masterpiece crashing. that one was crazy.

[starlooove]

We are enemies

We are foes

Who are you

What are those

[strawbabycowboy]

i left the floor today for a personal convo, and then lied abt it to my manager - who immediately called me on it. because he saw me leave . and while im like i shouldn’t have lied, absolutely, why didn’t you just ask me . why i left the floor during a busy time, and reprimand me from there? like , i realise you wanted to see if i would lie, but then you just made me panic .

[lewisvinga]

doctor! doctor! | lando norris x fem! reader x oscar piastri !

summary; the average life of a med student dating not one, but two f1 drivers

fc; various girls on pinterest

warnings; cursing, suggestive comment

taglist; @namgification @louvrepool @locelscs @thehufflepuffavenger1

notes; requested ! as a nursing major, i <3 anything to do w the reader being in the medical field ! also didn’t realize for the messages lando is just ‘lando’ so pretend his contact is ‘lan<33’😭😭😭

masterlist !

yourusername uploaded to their story !

[caption 1; my boys sending me selfies so i don’t lose my mind today 🧡🧡] [caption 2; reason why i’m losing my mind; my first med school exam🤓]

landonorris replied to your story !

landonorris u literally graduated top of ur class, u can do this 🧡🧡🧡

yourusername why’d i have to be so passionate abt this career 😔

landonorris bc ur super duper smart !

landonorris osc and i miss you!! ( he won’t admit it but he’s sad you’re not w us😒 )

yourusername i miss my boys too ☹️ ( he does this every time )

landonorris he wants to act so cool 🙄🙄

yourusername well tell him spring break is in 2 months and i’ll be able to attend at least one (1) race this semester 😕

landonorris as much as i wish you can see us more often, you gotta go help save lives !

yourusername and i gotta study so i can go save lives !😣

landonorris: good luck ! liked by yourusername !

oscarpiastri replied

oscarpiastri that latte looks sick😯

yourusername stfu i know ur sad that i’m missing so many races this season😒

oscarpiastri lando told you ?

yourusername yes u don’t have to act all cool or whatvr 🙄

yourusername my spring break is in 2 months, i’ll be able to go to a race then !😁

oscarpiastri 2 months TOO LONG💔

oscarpiastri and go study u have an exam in 3 days 🙄🙄

yourusername STOP I’M TRYING TO AVOID IT

yourusername nvm just remembered i dont know anything, i’ll facetime u and lan later? okay???

oscarpiastri already waiting !

liked by oscarpiastri, landonorris, and others !

yourusername: a week filled with clinicals, studying, cheering for my favorite boys, and more studying !

tagged; yourbestfriend, friendone, friendtwo, oscarpiastri, landonorris

landonorris: oscarpiastri look at our girl studying to be a future life saver 🥹🥹

oscarpiastri: soooo smart, future dr. l/n🧡

yourusername: i love & miss you both sm☹️

landonorris: doctor! doctor! i’m injured and i need help!

yourusername: not a doctor yet lan

landonorris: shhh play along

oscarpiastri: don’t he’s being mean to me

landonorris: LIAR!!

oscarpiastri: why’d u get black coffee u never do

yourusername: bold of u to assume i didn’t get a latte after trying yourbestfriend americano

yourbestfriend: you’re studying to be a DOCTOR, how do u not like black coffee

yourbestfriend: dawg who let us study to be doctors 😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣

yourusername: LMFAOOO

friendone: stay healthy guys , ur future doctors are currently making tiktoks instead of studying

friendtwo: like studying wasn’t making u lose ur mind too !!

username: y/n studying to be a doctor is so sick

username: ur the coolest wag

username: bro i’m a nursing student and i’m dyinggggg idk how u do med school

yourusername: me neither tbh

username: imagine studying to be a DOCTOR and BOTH of ur bfs are f1 drivers, that’s actually insane

username: i wanna be u

yourusername uploaded to their story !

[caption 1; my loves 🧡always cheering for you both 🫂🧡] [caption 2; time for clinicals 😣 ( will watch race highlights after sigh )]

yourusername uploaded to their story !

[caption 1; finally in my happy place after weeks and weeks of studying and clinicals 🤍🤍] [caption 2; my pretty boys 🫶 can’t wait to be a doctor and see them in the er from doing stupid shit🧡🧡🧡 ( stop jumping on the bed before one of you hurt your head PLEASE) ]

[whyse7vn]

OLD YOONGI -

[ min yoongi x reader ]

YOONGI :3

you have 1 miss call from yoongi :3

yoongi: i’m killing myself

you have 2 miss calls from yoongi :3

yoongi: do you want me to kill myself?

y/n: send a picture of ur face rn

yoongi: why didn’t you answer??

y/n: shut up and send

yoongi: why?

y/n: cuz i asked

yoongi: you demanded

y/n: ur into that

yoongi: shut up

y/n: :p

ur face

rn

pls

yoongi: no

ur just gonna say something weird

y/n: i won’t

yoongi: whatever

y/n:

got me twiddling my thumbs and shit🥰

ur such a cutie

let’s do a blood bond

no joke i’m so hard rn

yoongi: …

y/n: want proof????

yoongi: talk to me like a normal girlfriend

y/n: hello amazing beautiful boyfriend

yoongi: ew???

y/n: pookie??

yoongi: leave me alone

y/n: you literally called me?

yoongi: and you didn’t answer

y/n: just say ur obsessed with me…

yoongi: going to the coffee shop

y/n: WITHOUT ME???

fucking snake oh my god

yoongi: what do you want??

y/n: 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

yoongi: ur making me sick

y/n: stop being mean to me

yoongi: sorry :3

what do you want pretty

y/n: your mouth against my mouth

yoongi: ok bye

y/n: boooo ur boring

yoongi: don’t be upset with me when i come home with no coffee for you

y/n: what are you getting

yoongi: vanilla latte

7 espresso shots

y/n: bro????????????????

you might as well do cocaine what the hell

yoongi: who is bro?

y/n: i want to fuck u rn

btw

if you didn’t know

now you do

yoongi: ur real strange

y/n: i can be strange in bed

yoongi: no thanks???

y/n: just tell me to shoot myself in the head fuck

yoongi: wtf are you even talking about rn

y/n: yoongi don’t you get tired of pretending ur not deeply in love with me and would literally ask how high if i said jump

yoongi: what do you want from this fucking coffee shop oh my god

i’m almost there

y/n: ur so in love with me it’s actually overbearing

yoongi: i’m blocking you

y/n: what would you do if i kissed namjoon

yoongi: ????

why would you do that??

stop asking me stupid questions

y/n: i just want to know

yoongi: stop talking

y/n: if i stop talking that means i’m dead

yoongi: i can’t wait till that day comes

y/n: ummm what the hell

ur literally gonna die first

ur 30……

yoongi: how do you know i’m gonna die first

you god or something??

y/n: baby ur 30

yoongi: i’m aware

y/n: im gald you understand

yoongi: ?

whatever

getting u a iced caramel frappe thing ok??

don’t want it don’t care

y/n: when he knows ur order 😍

yoongi: nvm i’m not getting it for you actually

y/n: when he’s broke and ugly 🤬

yoongi: 😐

y/n: i’ll lick you head to toe

i lied i’m sorry

ur not ugly

AT ALL

yk that baby

yoongi: but i’m broke?

y/n: maybe idk

you not wanting to buy me the drink says a lot….

yoongi: whatever don’t care anymore

y/n: you’re a liar

you literally almost cried just now

yoongi: no i didn’t

y/n: you did

yoongi: not

y/n: i love u

yoongi: ok

y/n: say it back stupid bitch

yoongi: i love you

y/n: <3333333333333333333

yoongi: this is toxic

y/n: me and namjoon are toxic

yoongi: there is no you and namjoon

y/n: can i dream in peace

yoongi: shut up

cuz what if i said

y/n: NO DON’T SAY ANYTHING

OH MY GOD IM GONNA TJROW UP

DONT PLS -£/££/£2&:&:£:£.£

😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😞😞😞😞😞

BABY 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

ILL LITERALLY CRY IF YOU SAY ANOTHER WOMANS NAME

yoongi: but you can talk about namjoon??

idk this doesn’t seem fair love :/

y/n: don’t even know a namjoon

is that a fruit or something????????

yoongi: that’s what i thought

y/n: shut the hell up

yoongi: :3

y/n: random question but are you single lol

yoongi: no

y/n: damn that’s crazy

i hope she dies

yoongi: me too

y/n: WOOOOOWWWWW

yoongi: idk what you expect me to say

y/n: dni rn

yoongi: ok

y/n: ur interacting i told you NOT to

fucker

ok

good

stupid idiot loser bitch

UGH

sighs

so like…

*tucks hair behind ear*

you come here often?😍

don’t ignore my flirting what the hell

yoongi: what do you want from me

y/n: some love and appreciation would be nice idk..

yoongi: at the coffee shop standing in line now

y/n: bet the way you standing is hot as hell

yoongi: ??

tf is actually ur issue

y/n: don’t ?? me

ur making me look insane

yoongi: you are insane

y/n: this yoongi would never treat me

like this

yoongi: ew

never show me that again

y/n: but you look so silly and edible :33

i remember the day you took this so clearly

you sent it to me and begged me

to tell you if it was ok to post or not

SIGHSSSSSSS

wow miss old yoongi

now ur just a slut whose naked all the time

yoongi: i am not naked all the time

y/n: SIGHSSSSSSS

what happened to my little lover boy

who would tell me he loves me 475 times a day

yoongi: i tell you i love you all the time

y/n: ok but you say it like i have a gun to ur head

yoongi: i love you

y/n: not convinced

yoongi: whatever

y/n: SIGHSS

the old yoongi wouldn’t of given up so easily

yoongi: i love you there is literally nothing more to say

y/n: old yoongi would have more words

yoongi: i reallllly love you

y/n: SIGHSSSSSSS

yoongi: babe…

y/n: looks left looks right

sighs

yoongi: you are great

i love you

i appreciate you

i want to kiss you

y/n: i could cry

best day of my life

i’ve never seen you this emotional yoongi

kinda off putting

you on ur period or something 💀

yoongi: ?????????????

stop talking to me

—

tags: @piw6n @92jinnies @birdie-vhs @kooksmilitarywife @hob3loveofmylife @jujubiism @bloopkook @ratchetpizza1 @myntalks @arloo00 @watamotee33 @y2kcy3brz @taiwan0618 @indigobsessed @freyadanvers @gguksbeloved @raetf @bbsantc @winuvs @medicinemybish @bxnnyhime @leleluvsbts @baetukki @zyaaaszn @thelilbutifulthings @yojaschill @k4ngelz @jmnscutie

[physalian]

When a Villain’s “Villainy” Dismisses Their Valid Argument For Change (Or, Marvel)

Marvel stories aren’t the only ones that pull the whole “this villain has a very valid and justified stance on something socially acceptable but actually terrible and- oh, nvm, they’re a murderer, thus they’re totally bad,” schtick, but they’re the loudest voices.

Pop Culture Detective did this deep dive into how the “Avengers” really are “Avengers” (as opposed to “Prevengers,” like Tony points out) because they don’t have any initiatives or social stances that promote change, they just stop villains from making change. Most damning example of this character is Killmonger.

Excellent deep dive, go watch it. I won’t regurgitate it here. Instead, I’ll talk about how these villains are also attempts at having depth and nuance and are very hit-and-miss about it.

So. Villains with nuance: How to write a character with something to say, while showing that their way of going about it is wrong, while also still agreeing that they were right.

—

This isn’t actually that hard, y’all. Marvel doesn’t do it because they don’t want to piss off the rich people or be “woke”.

So say I have my antagonist named…. Wilson.

Wilson’s goal: prison reform/dismantling the for-profit punitive “justice” system that works to keep people in the system instead of helpful rehab.

Wilson’s motivation: that his dad got incarcerated for possession of drugs, and through a series of Very Bad and Corrupt Legal Practices, Wilson’s dad spent 45 years in prison and died there.

Wilson’s plan: peacefully protest, then when that doesn't work and he's exhausted all other legal avenues, systematically blackmail every cop, justice, and prison employee that he deems corrupt, racist, etc, on the grounds of either “just following orders” or “that’s how it was” isn’t good enough in effort to get them fired/ruin their lives. Doesn’t matter how involved in his dad’s incarceration these people are, Wilson wants to make a statement, and he’s going to make it as loud as possible.

Enter the hero: Sarah.

She’s the seasoned detective trying to catch him because crime is crime and he’s done a lot of it.

Marvel’s hypothetical version of this story: Wilson joins and organizes several peaceful protests and marches and nonviolent gatherings, gathering a vocal following that’s concerning to local, then national, government officials when he gains more power than they’re comfortable with. Around halfway through the story, Wilson breaks and starts randomly murdering these same people just so the audience doesn’t start to root for him.

Marvel’s solution: Wilson ends up in prison, or dead from a high and ambiguous fall, due to his own actions because murder is bad and he’s done a lot of it. Prison reform, what?

Or: Wilson ends up in prison because he still committed violence against a lot of innocent people and the punishments he enacted didn’t fit their crimes. The populace remains horrified by his actions, mourn the corrupt government people, and claim this is exactly why the prison system is the way it is. Sarah, however, understands that Wilson was right, and works for the rest of her career on enacting prison reform.

You know, Zootopia did this pretty well, for a kids’ movie, by having Judy publicly admit that what they’re doing is wrong and try to change it, while also simultaneously botching it entirely.

Ironically, Marvel does have a property that tries its damndest to do the “villain actually has a point, he’s just going about proving it the wrong way” and that’s X-Men. Their best efforts aren’t the ‘ha ha CGI explosion of cool mutant powers’ but the social commentary these characters were meant to reflect.

You can write a villain with a point. But if you’re going to go far enough to make a polarizing statement in your work, knowing it will piss people off, commit to that message and don’t abandon it the second you’ve made them “irredeemable”.

That, and, like Zootopia, it gives your hero so much more nuance when they can admit their staunch, heroic worldview is flawed and needs growth, or complete dismantling, and that hard life lessons can come from anywhere, not just their heroes—particularly when they themselves are an archetypical “hero”. (also killing this complicated villain instead of giving them the chance to see the proper enactment of the change they want to see in the world is a huge missed opportunity).

Not limited to superhero stories, either, or hot button issues like prison reform. Do it in fantasy with fantasy bigotry. It doesn’t have to be a huge global plot either. “Critical voice is painted as the villain and resorts to unsavory-to-illegal activity to stay alive and/or promote their cause” also fits plenty of war stories big and small.

Heck, go even smaller, with lower stakes, and you could write about a high school bully victim who goes too far in trying to get justice/catharsis when the law doesn’t do enough about it. Write about a dysfunctional family. This trope is so flexible it’s disappointing how rarely it’s done well.

Whatever the case:

Make a problem in the world of your story that the society/powers that be of that story doesn’t actually think is a problem, or isn’t doing enough to solve

Make solving this problem the villain’s goal

Make the villain’s plan to solving this problem deeply flawed and the wrong way to do it

Make the hero (and the narrative) recognize that their intentions are in the right place, the actions aren’t, but the villain’s plight was heard, and the hero, presumably with the social and political power to enact real change, resolves to make that change.

The villain loses, but they also still win.

I am sick and tired of throwing the whole character out and trying to eat your cake and have it, too, pretending to have a deep and nuanced narrative that ends up saying nothing more than “crime is always wrong no matter the circumstances if the governing bodies aren’t paying you to commit those crimes.”

I’m not a huge fan of Black Panther (I think by that point my Marvel fatigue on all these new characters was starting to creep in), but they really did Killmonger dirty, didn’t they?

[dizeesstuff]

COD p⭐️ links (actually nvm just Johnny and Simon links, and maybe Konig or I dunno)

I’ll probably end up adding more links :)

MINORS DO NOT INTERACT 🔞

Johnny

https://www.xvideos.com/video.uivpmiv9776/pastor_help_my_nympho_wife_full_trailer. >> how he takes you when you’ve been a brat (+sharing you with one of his friends)

https://www.xvideos.com/video.ihlddvba1bf/the_cutest_sex_you_ever_watched >> johnny when you’ve been a good girl

Simon/Konig

https://x.com/rickbaddaddy/status/1770878388502450229?s=46&t=_PH8AAZfX0TOMvHQZws7Uw >> breeding you

https://x.com/melody_mcg33/status/1769240042503835834?s=46&t=_PH8AAZfX0TOMvHQZws7Uw

https://x.com/amateurxhour/status/1765682577271132650?s=46&t=_PH8AAZfX0TOMvHQZws7Uw >> won’t give you what you need :(((

https://x.com/z3cheriah/status/1772408692631056718?s=46&t=_PH8AAZfX0TOMvHQZws7Uw

https://x.com/juniethebugg/status/1770489900032237568?s=46&t=_PH8AAZfX0TOMvHQZws7Uw

https://x.com/hell0k1tt1e/status/1773237450761994725?s=46&t=_PH8AAZfX0TOMvHQZws7Uw >>> I’m feral for this video omg

https://www.xvideos.com/video.dhiltmf169/big_cocks_compilation >> Simon/Konig degrading using you ajajejekwkla.Btw the guy actually wears a balaclava too and I dunno how I found his videos but they are super super old but he so gives Simon/Konig vibes and that’s exactly how I imagine their cock looks. He goes by white pony and used to work for German goo girls (yes he’s German)

https://x.com/narcissistfein/status/1767905835462644168?s=46&t=_PH8AAZfX0TOMvHQZws7Uw

https://x.com/wannabebabygirl/status/1656187189506744320?s=46&t=_PH8AAZfX0TOMvHQZws7Uw

https://x.com/narcissistfein/status/1765408776847302972?s=46&t=_PH8AAZfX0TOMvHQZws7Uw

https://x.com/narcissistfein/status/1762847699664089485?s=46&t=_PH8AAZfX0TOMvHQZws7Uw

Ghoap

https://www.xvideos.com/video.kaaeohva270/teen_helps_catch_a_gets_treated_like_trash_afterwards_-_melody_marks >> Johnny and Ghost teaming up on you 💕💕

https://www.xvideos.com/video.kvebmc187a/a_filthy_ball_licking_slut >> okkk listen, dom Simon, pups you/johnny being punished.

https://www.xvideos.com/video.kbdhkmdbff9/brunette_gets_anal_pile_driver_training >>> same concept as above :))

https://www.xvideos.com/video.kveuvvo6ca2/redhead_busty_milf_trainee_anal_banged

Price/Simon

https://www.xvideos.com/video.uohmaol3a89/shoplyfter_-_tiny_blonde_babe_with_juicy_ass_chanel_camryn_bends_over_for_kinky_security_officer >> your perverted superior that is always scrutinising you/ and reprimanding you about not doing a task right or forgetting to do it

[oh-austin]

liked by austinfan18, austinbutler and 12,272 others

yourinstagram two flights to our new home for the next year #elvisfilm

austinfan21 i love that austin is the kind of boyfriend to take candids

austinfan21 i love that austin is the kind of boyfriend to take candids

yourinstagram you should see his camera roll..

austinbutler guilty

austinfan32 i actually love them so much

ynfan98 cant even see y/n’s face and i still know she looks good

ynfan53 she’s never caught slipping, always on her game

austinfan25 austin is so humble flying economy 😩

austinfan19 and then they went nvm get us a private jet

ashleytisdale going to miss you two so much

yourinstagram cannot wait for daily updates of baby bump!!

annasophiarobb you look amazing!! miss u x

oliviadejonge I CANT WAIT TO SEE YOU!!!!!!

ynupdates yn’s recent instagram stories!

Is Elvis star Austin Butler taking ‘Baby, Let’s Play House’ to a whole new level?

Spotted yesterday afternoon in a Queensland cafe, Y/N L/N, longtime girlfriend of Austin Butler was seen cradling what seems to be a baby bump!

The couple have been together for seven years now, and have apparently moved onto bigger and better things; babies!

We here at The Daily Mail would like to congratulate the couple on their new arrival!

liked by austinbutler, florencepugh and 15,282 others

yourinstagram keeping busy..

view all comments

austinfan44 oh she has to be pregnant

austinfan23 she looked pregnant in that article

ynfan37 constantly looking good

austinfan21 purposely not posting full body pics???? i smell a pregnancy

ynfan66 she’s also not posting herself on her story!!

florencepugh pretty lady

yourinstagram love of my life

florencepugh i won’t tell austin.. 🤫

yourinstagram 🤭🤭

liked by austinfan47, austinfan39 and 3874 others

thedailymail austin butler and girlfriend y/n l/n spotted for a stroll in Queensland prior to filming baz lurhman’s ‘elvis’, amidst the couple’s pregnancy rumours! photographers say she is definitely expecting

view all comments

ynfan33 if anyone would go out in a crop top and leggings when being accused of a pregnancy, it’s y/n

austinfan98 austin looking like a dilf already

austinfan62 why cant people just leave them alone? who cares if she’s pregnant??

austinfan12 we do?

ynfan37 i feel like there’s a bump there, wish we had other angles

ynfan52 yeah but the photographer saying she’s pregnant and not photographing it makes me wonder tbh

yourinstagram wow i look good

[ultrone]

─ ౨ৎ ‧˚ oldersister!shauna who literally cried when she found out that she was gonna have a little sibling because she wanted to keep being an only child ☠️

little shauna pleaded and pleaded with your parents, begging them to ask the storks to cancel the delivery of the baby. she cried when they explained it was too late and that you would be arriving in a month or two.

on the day you were born, your dad drove her to the hospital to meet you. at first, she was angry and refused to see you, crossing her little arms with a frown on her face. however, the moment she held you in her arms, she burst into tears because you were so tiny and adorable.

─ ౨ৎ ‧˚ sum random hcs

when you were little, she would play with you all the time, taking you everywhere as if you were her little doll. she’d take care of you as if you were her own baby, asking your mom to put her breast milk on a bottle so that she could feed you, helping your mom shower you—she had to stand up on a stool in order to reach the sink 😭 she even wanted to train you on how to use the potty ☠️

as you grew up though, she grew out of it. of course, you still hang out often, but y’all aren’t the type of siblings who are always very lovey-dovey.

she doesn’t bully you but she’s mean on a daily basis—as a joke obviously. she enjoys it a bit too much tho.

for instance, you once asked to teach you soccer and she said “i don’t like soccer kys” ☠️

she actually does feel bad if she’s too mean tho. like she’ll say the meanest shit ever, go to her room, overthink it and then cry about it thinking that she might’ve actually hurt your feelings. she won’t apologize tho, and if she does, she’ll do it casually so that it seems like it didn’t affect her that much.

and if someone's ever mean at you or hurts you in any way, she’ll get pissed off and will defend you to death. she’s the only one who’s allowed to be mean at you. type of person to literally act passive aggressive and keep saying sarcastic shit to the person she’s angry at for MONTHS.

owns a guinea pig and doesn’t let you get near it cuz one time when you were kids, you died its hair green with a spray can 😭 she got SO pissed and cried cuz she thought it was gonna die.

whenever she loses something she immediately blames it on you, making a whole ass scene and then finding out that it was in her room. “just found it nvm” “are you kidding me??? fuck you” “🖕🏻🖕🏻”

her treatment depends on the day though, sometimes she wakes up and for some reason she feels like being sweet to you.

“i made you pancakes when i woke up, they’re on the kitchen counter, just heat them up”

[2:33am] “why are u awake?? anyway, wanna go get a slushy? i’ll drive”

gets annoyed when she sees you biting your nails, will slap your hand immediately while she rolls her eyes.

shauna: “hey u ok?” you: “no ☹️” shauna: “ok just checking in”

but then she’ll knock on your door and bring you your favorite ice cream 🍨

she takes board games very seriously, gets very aggressive and actually gets mad if she’s losing 😭 like she’ll quit and go to her room.

[d4t-webserial]

D4T: Page 7 (Lu POV)

//cw: ableist slur and depiction of internalized ableism// go here for more info on d4t

previous page

After telling her about his detransition she proceeded to ask a handful of follow up questions (they were pretty incoherent, and he honestly didn’t know enough..), he did his best to answer them until she just told him “srry for so mny questions idk if u can rlly give me what i wnt…for answers i mean! i think i  jst need some time to thnk” (so there’s still, a chance they stay friends, hahaha,,, he’s dying ;-;).

But actually tho what the fuck just happened? Lu was so confused… did Alice just ask him out, or ask him to ask her out… why? He’s so… subpar, how long had she liked him??? Her little brother always called him her “boyfriend” to tease her, but he thought the joke was cause of how… mediocre he was. He knew she would say stupid things to make him flustered but, but wasn’t that to get a reaction out of him (plus she teased all her friends). She always did sit close to him when they hung out (but like she’s a girl, girls hug and cuddle and hold each other's hands all the time… right?). Wasn’t there that guy she liked??? Was she playing a prank on him?... no she would say that’s cringe and lame probably… so she likes him. He still can’t begin to process that but, luckily he won’t have too! Since she now knows about how absolutely disgusting his body is she’ll stop having feelings real quick (yay problem solved ;~;)... this sucks, if she had just never liked him it wouldn’t have hurt this much, was she gonna grow cold… like… nvm, he didn’t want to think about that, he didn’t want to think at all actually… she was his only friend (unless you counted his roommate Tanner… he seems nice… they rarely talked tho.) why did he have to like her so much, why did she have to like him back! If she was just not interested he could repress and hide away his feelings as tho they didn’t exist, but instead she ripped his heart out of his chest and now that she knew… she would throw it away. In this moment he wished more than anything he could be a feather floating thru the wind not needing to feel emotions or have thoughts, just going where the universe takes him.

Alice was somewhat more distant than before, but Lu was surprised how much she kept in contact. They didn’t really talk about what happened, which was comforting. He didn’t need to worry about what to say or do to keep her in his life, it was as tho they had an unspoken agreement to not acknowledge it. One day she asks to hangout at his, it was just after a big test so his roommate was out at a party…

trashbag_minister (Lu): “sure thing”

Tranny Mona Lisa (Alice): “yay!”

Tranny Mona Lisa (Alice): “when wll u get here btw”

trashbag_minister (Lu): “around 20 minutes”

Tranny Mona Lisa (Alice): “❤️❤️❤️❤️”

.

.

.

She just sent him hearts, he thinks his brain is about to explode… did she used to send hearts?... he thinks so… maybe, but like it had to mean someth- no… no no no. He wasn’t going to do this, he was going to be normal. She’s his friend.

When he picked her up she waved to him and got in, the car ride was quiet, but that was normal (he was so bad at talking and driving). But when they got out she was a bit quieter than usual, she barely said a word until they got to his dorm. When they did she hesitantly started talking about her life as they often did, but it felt strange, like she was padding for time. After a couple of minutes of this he asked…

Lu: “Is there something you wanna talk about?”

Alice: “...”

she seems more nervous than he’s ever seen her

Alice: “yeah…”

(oh god, dear god, please let it be no big deal)

she is fiddling with the seam of her shirt ever so slightly

Alice: “I don't super know what your detransition means to you…”

Alice: “... i mean, i tried to learn, but there aren’t many… resources or anything”

Alice: “anyway i don’t know what it means, but i still like *you*”

he lets out a deep breath 

(thank jesus)

Lu: “Cool…”

Alice: “...”

Alice: “Do you… like me too?”

(shit)

Lu: “Oh… you meant like *like like*.”

Alice glares at him like he just said the stupidest thing in the world

Alice: “Yeah no fucking duh, also who says ‘like like’ past the age of ten”

Lu: “i don’t umm…”

Alice pulls back and once again becomes more timid

Alice: “Do you not? It’s okay if you don’t i… just thought you did…”

Lu: “No i d-do- i do, i just…”

Alice both looks affirmed and confused

Lu: “You shouldn’t,,n’t l-like me.”

Alice: “Why???”

Lu: “Be-be-be-cau-cause you can do better-ter…”

Alice: “That’s retarded!”

Lu: “L-Lys! You can’t sssay that!”

Alice: “Jesus fucking christ Lu, i… i just *fucking confessed to you*, and you respond with the dumbest shit i’ve ever heard, i can respond however the fuck i god damn want!”

Lu: “go-ju-Alice! I- it’s- god like you- you- you could- could have any s-s-ssself respecting man you want, you sh-shouldn’t se–se-set-t-tle for… *me*”

Alice: “I’m not settling, i *like* you, you’re smart and caring and sweet, why wouldn’t i like you.”

Lu: “Why *w-would* you! I’m a fu-fu-fu shit fuck god damn it! I’m a- I’m a fucking pathetic little shit preten-pretending to be a man, i-i-i can b-b-b-barely even s-sb-sp-speak, i…"

she rests a hand on him and looks in his eyes, he didn’t realize he was crying

Alice: “Are you okay?”

Lu: “...ye i just, it’s nothing, my brain is stupid sometimes”

Alice: “That's okay, i’m sorry for getting you worked up."

she smiles up at him

Alice: “I’m just… if you like me and i like you there isn’t any real reason not to date right?”

Lu: “But it’s more,, complicated than that-t”

Alice’s jaw clenches for a second but she takes a somewhat forced breath to relax

Alice: “Why? Why does it have to be?”

Lu: “Because of all the s–st-stuff i said.”

Alice: “But i don’t care about any of that.”

he pulls away from her

Lu: “I don’t even have a f-f-d-di-dick Alice… how would that- how would that even work”

she looks somewhat surprised at that, but responds quickly anyways

Alice: “Tons of people make that work.”

Lu: “But you shouldn’t- you shoulnt have too, your boy-boyfriend should be a real man not a tr-tr-trans girl in denial”

Alice: “You could be my girlfriend then, we don’t hav-”

Lu: “I don’t want to be your girlfriend!”

Alice: “...”

she looks down at her lap where her hands are gripping hard into her pants

Alice: “ok”

they sit like that awkwardly, tensely until…

Alice: “I want to go home”

.

.

.

Lu: “ok… can i go to the bathroom first”

Alice: “of course”

Lu walks into the bathroom, and sits on the floor. What was he doing? She was like the girl of his dreams, and more importantly, his best friend. Was he really gonna throw that all away because of… fuck, he entirely forgot what his point was. He was so scared. For almost a year now, ever since he detransitioned he just… accepted he would never be in a relationship again. But then Alice came in with her unending confidence and had the gall to just… like him, as he is… she didn’t care, not about his body, not about his brain, not about anything… god damn it. He walks out of the bathroom and sits next to Alice, when he approaches she seems to wipe something from her face…

Lu: “What’s wrong?”

(why did he say that jesus christ)

she looks at him like he asked her if she preferred drinking water or vegetable oil

Alice: “...nothing”

Lu: “mhm?”

she looks at the floor

before she could ask him to take her home he put his arm around her

she rests her head on his shoulder

(good sign… here goes nothing)

Lu: “You don’t have to say you’re fine.”

she looks up at him

Alice: “*I am fine*”

(she very obviously isn’t)

Lu spends some time trying to find the right words

(god damn it he is so bad at this)

he holds her cheek

Lu: “Look as your boyfriend, you should- you should tell me when you aren’t ok.”

Alice: “You’re my boyfriend?”

Lu: “I mean, even if i think you have bad taste, who would i be to deny the most b-b-gorgeous woman i-i’ve ever laid eyes on”

(that was the cringiest thing he’s ever said)

but she’s blushing very hard

Alice: “... i… you think i…”

she attempts to compose herself

Alice: “I don’t have bad taste, you’re very…”

Lu: “The point is you should tell me why you feel bad.”

she rolls her eyes but smiles

Alice: “I actually feel alot better now.”

(now Lu wasn’t so autistic that he didn’t *know* it was because of him before, but man did it feel good to hear her pretty much say she felt *better* because of him)

riding that high he kisses her once softly on the lips

Lu: “I hope that means you don’t have to go home right now, cause i,, i really wanna,, be with you a bit longer”

she responds by grabbing onto his shirt and nuzzling further into him

Lu can’t stop the massive smile on his face, as he hugs her tight. Nor does he want to, as he thinks about how lucky he is to be here.

[aquaquadrant]

Deciding to live write (react) (?) this as I'm reading this new chapter (two parts WOW, double the angst) (so part one out of two, hope that's cool). If something happens my therapist WILL be hearing about you.

The title already I'm sobbing /pos

I HATE THE WATCHERS SO MUCH OMMMGGGGG, leave them aLONE

It's very Jimmy to not like crying, I love to see it. I love when fanfic writers don't like him crying, ty.

Tango :( The RANCH, it was THEIRS, my HEART These Watchers ugghhHHHH Jimmy immediately defending Tango, please nothing else happen to them, PLEASE

Every time the watchers speak, my want to punch them grows The explanation paragraph, ugh something about it, how Jimmy doesn't immediately try to blame Tango, or just understands it well. Just bjhebwg

Bdubs being so worried for Tango, please, JUST LET THEM BE HAPPY

JIMMY DEFENDING TANGO NUMBER TWO, hate me them

Watchers ugghhe

HERMITCRAFTING BEING HIS HOME UGH IM JUST POINTING OUT EVERY LITTLE DETAIL BECAUSE THEY'RE ALL SO

DELIGHTFUL, I LOVE THE WAY YOU WRITE SO MUCH

Okay, therapy time <3 (yes I did actually read this before my therapy appointment, this was /srs and not /j)

Therapy break over, BACK TO ANGST

Awww, Jimmy not believing Tango is evil. Love to see it.

UH OH, NOT THE TIMMY ALLUSION

Nvm not alright, Watchers need to Watch their mouths

"Pity is a suitor that won’t take a hint, no matter how many times Jimmy turns it away." Is SO good???? Excuse me??? Pity x Jimmy real ship of the htp au?? /j

Maybe I hate the watchers more than I hate Atlas, hm.

I like that they all still keep an air of lighthearted-ness about, even with Tango in such critical condition, they still are friends :)

Jimmy being okay with a scar to the face if it means Tango doesn't have to unnecessarily respawn :( /pos

This description of Tango has me thinking about that kinda old drawing that lunarcrown did of Tango back when he was chained up. Like, it's literally the first post that shows up when clicking on the chronological timeline, yeah that one, it reminds me of that one.

UGGGHHHH THE HAND ON THE CHIN GETTING A RESPONSE, NO, BAD AQUA, BAD. SOMETHINGS ARE BETTER LEFT OFF IN THE ASKS RESPONSES

WATCHERS ARE NOT HELPING (x2)

Still love Jimmy calling for SOS, like yes, smart move. I wish we could've seen what it was like for the other DL to see chat and immediately go "oh shit ???" and then see the SOS and go "OH SHIT ???"

I love Impulse <3

Ooooo, getting some more cases of this fantasy (racism? Bigotry? Bad stuff) worldbuilding

"I don’t believe that just being from there would automatically make someone evil." Nature vs nurture <3 Maybe all Bravo needed was two minutes with Impulse god DAMN

Sleepy time <3

Okay, don't like the Watchers, but the "Round two!" was funny, I'll give em that

"(You cannot sleep, there are monsters nearby.)" I- I- STOP I CAN'T LAUGH BUT OMFG

Rancher :((((((

HIS RANCHER

Let me at these Watchers, LET ME AT EM

Ugh, disassociation. As someone who's dealt with this during panic attacks, it totally tracks and breaks my heart :(

These Watchers gotTA BACK OFF, LEAVE TANGO ALONE GOD DAMN

No way Tango is tryna pull the "I'm fine" card rn, AFTER ALL THAT LMAO

Jimmy is very pretty TO ME

The collar dampening Tango's fire, metaphorically and literally, is just ugh. What's more is Jimmy likes Tango's fire, he likes the warmth Tango produces physically, and he likes the sparks of creativity and burning passion of Tango's metaphorically. And they took it away! Both ways to Sunday!!!

Na because crying on someone is such an intimate gesture. To let your heart pour out of you, no one does that to just anyone. What makes this even more important is how Jimmy cried on Tango's shoulder last chapter, and now Tango's crying on Jimmy's shoulder this chapter. They are each other's soulmate, they are their each other's ranchers. They are so important to one another and soo ughguew

Not gonna cuss this Watcher out, I'll let this sweet dreams comment slide for now.

Oooo, a peak into how they reacted to everyone joining. AND we get a look at Atlas' full username <3 Love it.

Wait Tyrannicide and Phantonym joined too?? Huh, thought as scientists they would've stayed behind. Cool to know!

I can see now why you needed all those usernames lol.

JOEL THIS IS NOT THE TIME TO LAUGH DAMNIT

Hmmm, love Scar immediately jumping into action. Oop and ofc the two scientists head out first lmao

ATLAS, WHEN I CATCH YOU ATLAS, NOT BIGB NOOOO

ATLAS, WHEN I CATCH YOU ATLAS, NOT PEARL NOOOOO

Actually really funny that ATLAS got the most kills from the Hels cast. Like, damn, pop off???? Man did more work than the ppl hired to actually do the dirty work lmao.

Wonder how difficult it was to keep up with all the names, who died then got back in, who killed who, etc.

Oop, Jimmy also noting Atlas is smarter than the average bear.

This whole paragraph talking about Bravo, yes Jimmy, drag that man. Loving how he immediately is like "dude is just like a hels player" and scoffing at the nerve of Bravo to claim to be his actual soulmate. Yes.

Head in hands, Watchers about to catch these hands.

Tango immediately wanting to get this all over with hurts. Damn, wonder if he just wants to get it over with cause he thinks they all want him gone.

"I mean, everyone knows I’m a vicious monster but I don’t have to look it, right?" UGH, Aqua you're lucky I already did my therapy time BEFORE this part, UGGGHHHHHH. I need to go back rq just to tell her this god DAMN

Welp, on to act two! Thank you so much for the wonderful reading material :)

TLDR: I hate the Watchers with a burning passion.

-🍌

what’s this?? a DETAILED LIVE BLOG of my writing for ME to read??? don’t mind if i do…

ok first off, thank you SO MUCH for taking the time to write down ur thoughts and share them with me. it’s truly one of the greatest joys of being an author, and the closest i can get to experiencing my writing as if i wasn’t the one who wrote it. NOW let’s get into it…

the overarching watcher hate is so justified and hilarious, they really just exist to be the most obnoxious and toxic livestream chat ever. at least, the ones who hang around jimmy are LMAO

AHA i’m glad u liked the part abt jimmy not liking to cry, i’ve been told he’s got a bit of a prideful streak in other series that didn’t come thru as much in his double life run, so that was a little nod to it.

the ranch could not escape its destiny of being tragically burned down 🫡

(omg the therapy appointment interlude. i remember when i’ve had to pause while reading a fic to address real life business and now someone’s doing that for MY writing…. :’))) i hope the appt went well!)

this chapter was a lovely opportunity to really show jimmy stepping up for tango, with both verbal and physical reassurance. he may not know everything abt the hels situation but he knows he loves tango <3

AND YEAH YEAH THAT FIRST ART MEL DID. definitely throwing back to that w tango’s disassociated state and the collar. nice catch ;0

the chin-hand response was another throw back to old mel art, isn’t that fuuuun? ;000

IMPULSE WAS THE MVP OF THIS CHAPTER 💪😤👏

ok the watchers do get their funny moments in here and there HAH

phantonym and tyrannicide did come along! they might be scientists, but they’re as nasty as any hels player (dr l8r_h8r did, in fact, stay home to monitor the portal. he’s kinda over the whole ‘violence’ nonsense.) tango actually targeted them first bc of their lab coats.

and YUP i got a lotta good username ideas from those suggestions. and it WAS very difficult to keep track of them all thru the chat backlog. i don’t know how long i spent going thru each player’s sequence of events, one by one, JUST to make sure i hadn’t forgotten to have someone die for the last time, or show up again without a new join message.

and unfortunately for jimmy he made the classic error of “typo in the group chat.” joel did what he had to 🫡 (buuuut once he saw how serious the situation was, he decided not to push it anymore)

atlas is a clever bastard and i love that yall love to hate him 🙏 he saw a virtual ocean of wolves storming down the hill and was like “ok clearly i’m not dealing with that, so let’s see where my efforts can be better spent.” the hired grunts don’t possess that kind of critical thought 🎻

i’m SO glad you enjoyed it!! thank you again for this lovely feedback <3

[icallhimjoey]

Easier In Greece

♥ ♥          Joseph Quinn x Fem!Reader 

Summary: Joe's in an interesting stage of life when he's offered an equally interesting project. You whisk him off to Greece and spend eight days together on a boat with high expectations of which none turn out to be true. CW / disclaimer: rpf (don’t read if this makes you uncomfy), fem!reader, brief mention of claustrophobia, dead octopuses, fish touching you, Joe loses those sunglasses - no nvm its all silly shit, you'll be fine

Author’s note: this is so completely out of my comfort zone, and i felt weird all throughout writing it, but i had kind words of @ghostinthebackofyourhead​​ to coach me through - hope you liiiiiike, replies and reblogs are appreciated!

Wordcount: 7.9K

Again, Joe and love didn’t meet, even though he so desperately had hoped that this had been it. 

The one. 

It very muchly hadn’t been, and in hindsight, he didn’t really know why he’d ever thought it was. 

Now in his late twenties, Joe decided to stop and have look at the stats. Maybe an industry party wasn’t the best location to take time to reflect, but the stunning woman who just shot Joe down forced him into looking inwards for a second. 

What am I doing wrong? Joe thought. 

Unsurprisingly, Joe concluded that the stats weren’t good at all. 

So, just for now, for the foreseeable future, the summer at least, Joe was done with women. Sure, they’d be all shiny and smiley in ads, on Instagram, in films… but those same women would never come over to his flat and just sit on his Ikea sofa with him after a long day’s work. 

Looking back, Joe realised that he’d chosen a tactic that felt oddly similar to what American boxers call dope-a-rope; no matter how hard your competition, or even yourself, tries to get you down, you won’t actually get down until you hit yourself in the face. At least, that’s what Joe thought dope-a-rope meant, anyway. 

Failed first dates, failed second dates, situationships that never turned into relationships, relationships ending over all sorts of different reasons – Joe forgot about them fast, in hopes that he’d know exactly what to do when he’d finally run into her; the one. 

Joe was young still, you know, if you asked anyone older, but he already had enough of all of this bullshit. 

So. Bye, ladies. 

That’s what he decided would be the right plan for him that night. Tell love goodbye. Easy enough to say it aloud, and it was a decision that after four drinks felt totally right, but Joe hadn’t anticipated what it meant to actually try to stick with it. 

He felt a bit like a mad, distraught toddler whose balloon had just popped.

When he saw the head of Olivier Magazine walking up to him, someone he met previously and wouldn’t really consider a friend, but he had some pictures to show that they at least knew each other, he decided to take it all out on him. 

“Matthew,” Joe started when he walked into earshot.

“Joe,” he replied, unaware of Joe’s intentions. “Good to see you, mate. I’m going to call you tomorrow with a real fun project for you.” And then Matthew walked right past him, leaving Joe without words.

The next day, hungover-Joe got the phone call. 

“Joe, it’s Matt, say… you’re a single man, aren’t you?” 

“… yes.”

Then the conversation had taken a surprisingly strange turn. A journalist had a spread in mind for Olivier Magazine with a very specific focus: tour companies for single people who invite ambitious travelers on somewhat of a budget who are looking to meet and connect with like-minded people while exploring new and exciting places along the way. She really wanted to focus on single men. The trip abroad would more so just be the background for it. 

It sounded like an accumulation of every nightmare Joe had ever had. 

“I’m sure you’ll appreciate the break, and we’ll get some fantastic photos taken!” 

Joe listened to Matt’s pitch as he swiftly opened his laptop where he googled the name of the journalist that he’d mentioned. It only took a couple of seconds for Joe to find himself staring at a picture of you. A pretty girl, around his age, smiling at him like those women did in the ads, and on Instagram. 

“You-” Joe interrupted Matt who still was in the middle of talking about how beautiful the Mediterranean Sea was this time of year. “-are not being serious, are you?”

About a week later, Joe got an e-mail from you. “Hey Joe, have you heard? We’re going to go on a trip together.” 

Day One: London to Athens

Greece was where you were taking Joe. The place where Aphrodite, the Goddess of Love, left her footsteps in the sand. It was precisely the wrong thing to tell Joe upon first meeting him, but you didn’t know, and he also didn’t let on. 

You were looking at an eight-day boat trip with Joe, and you still weren’t sure how you’d gotten Olivier roped in on it. The idea seemed too bold to even be taken seriously at all, but maybe that was exactly why Matthew had decided to go for it. And he knew just the guy for it too.

Had Joe not accepted to go on this trip with you for you to write about single men on trips designed for single people, you probably still would’ve been sat at home, hoping that maybe another magazine would have only even considered listening to you talk about your ideas for original spreads to grace their pages. 

But Joe had accepted, and now you were both on a boat from the organisation One Wave that was a lot smaller than you had expected. The captain of the boat, nicknamed Mr Wave by you, but never when he was around, had told you about the 2500 Greek islands and about the same number of singles that had been on the very boat you’d be staying on. 

You had only just met a couple hours earlier, a quick handshake before boarding the plane in London. There had been some pleasantries e-mailed back and forth to at least try to get some knowledge of who either of you were before venturing out across Europe together, but it had all been quick, shallow words on screens. It was entirely different to be able to look into Joe’s eyes when you spoke to him. 

Joe was charming. 

Maybe not exactly your type, but... something oozed from him that you hadn’t been able to witness through his e-mails.

You were relieved to find out that you weren’t sat together on the flight. There was no need for small talk, or other awkward conversation. And from your seat, you had a pretty good view of him, which was even better. It gave you a chance to scope him out a little, see how he treated the flight attendants, the people he was sat near, what he’d do if the plane was to plummet over France somewhere and crash… all for the article you’d write, of course. 

When Matthew said that Joe Quinn was game for your plans, you’d silently cursed at him. 

An actor? 

A single actor? 

One who was on pretty much every guest list of every award show right now? 

Big ask for him not to be absolutely full of himself. 

But so far, he seemed fine. Normal. Almost a little boring. 

To be able to take off on the boat, you were going to have to find it first. A difficult task on the first night in a country of which neither of you spoke or could even read the language. 

It was dark and the harbour was larger than you thought it’d be. Joe was using the flashlight on his phone to shine at every boat’s name in hopes of accidentally finding the right one within the first few minutes. 

You were surprised that you felt a little responsible for your travel buddy – this whole thing had been your idea, and had you had more time to prepare, you’d have taken Joe to the right boat immediately.

Joe had been gracious enough during your search to offer to carry your bag. He immediately regretted helping out when he felt the weight of it as he threw it over his shoulder, but he didn’t mention it.

Joe was happy you weren’t as shy as he would’ve been in this situation had he been in your shoes. You had no issue asking for the right way a million times, using hands and feet to signal what you were looking for, until you finally pinpointed the correct boat.  

When you finally set foot on board of the boat named Paris – named after a Greek Prince that seduced the beautiful Helena, or kidnapped her, depending on how much of a feminist you were – you met the other travelers. 

Tim, who brought his six-year-old son, which was weird. It made Joe and you look at each other funny, clearly thinking the same thing. 

Dan, a guy from Manchester who kept saying, “Maybe I’m just old-fashioned, but,” before everything he said. 

And Martin, the owner of the boat and thus your captain for the week. 

There were other guests, more of them, who weren’t sat on deck; either already asleep inside, or still on their way over. 

The two of you would obviously also be sleeping on the boat. That led to one of those things Joe hadn’t even fully thought of yet: sleeping arrangements. 

Did you want a small, tiny room with bunkbeds originally designed for two children? Or did you want to sleep in the one double bed left located in the front of the boat?

Joe swallowed hard when he looked at you, the choices echoing in his mind. Stay in a bed, with you? Joe might have bid farewell to love, albeit temporarily, he was still a man.

“Joe?” 

 “It’s your call.” ever the gentleman. 

And after a quick tour and a swift look at the options, it was an easy choice to make. There was no way the bunkbeds were going to fit Joe’s legs.

“We’ll take the double bed.” 

Day Two: Athens to Epidaurus

The mornings were busy on the boat. Besides the guests you met the night before, you got to meet the other passengers of the Paris. Charlie, Martin’s son Jesse, who happened to also be Charlie’s best friend, and two older lovers, Daisy and Frank. 

It’s entirely not the vibe you thought you’d find on this trip, island hopping in Greece, being amongst travelers on the lookout for other singles to meet and mingle with. There was a child and a couple within your group, and it threw you for a loop. 

This wasn’t exactly what you had in mind for your multiple page opinion piece that would feature stunning photographs (you imagined, they hadn’t been taken yet) of a bronzed Joe Quinn, an open white shirt loosely hung over his shoulders, billowing in the wind on a luxurious yacht, with a deep blue sea and Grecian islands in the background. 

The mental image of it had been so dreamy, but this felt a bit like a weird family trip with a bunch of relatives who had seen you last when you were in diapers still. 

You learned later that the couple was only there because the divorced Frank had already booked the trip before he’d met Daisy through online dating, and he hadn’t been able to get a refund. They were very apologetic about it. What was worse, and not entirely clear to Joe and you just yet, was that Frank and Daisy had immediately taken a liking to the both of you because they thought they weren’t the only couple there.

There were other boats from One Wave, and when you bobbed out of the harbour onto the open sea, you could see that there were at least eight of the same boats, traveling alongside you. There wasn’t enough wind to let the sails down, but that was alright. Slowly hours passed as you passed the islands, sun beaming down, sunscreen thick on your nose and tops of your shoulders. 

As a journalist, you’d decided to use your skills to get Joe talking. 

When you sat down next to Joe on the edge of the boat near the front, legs dangling over, catching splashes of the seawater below, Joe hadn’t expected your approach to have been teaching him an unasked lesson about time and space.

“So, think of this,” you said. “There’s no time. It’s not there, doesn’t exist.” Your facial expression was utterly serious as you rambled about past, present and future all stacked on top of each other. You tried your hardest to get a reaction out of Joe. “Really, the universe just has its way to take care of you, trust me.”

Joe wasn’t convinced. What you’d hoped would’ve happened was that Joe would’ve either outrageously agreed or disagreed with you. It held the opportunity to either dive deep into a philosophic chat or would have the two of you bickering. Either one would’ve given you food for thought for your article. 

What you hadn’t anticipated is where Joe took it. 

Humour. 

After three minutes you had to ban him from making further jokes about it. 

After a full day of getting to know everyone, you all stepped off your boats in Epidaurus around four in the afternoon. Adding all the other boats and their passengers to your group, you ended up in a company of about thirty people.  

The group held more men than women, but to your surprise, there were also women in their thirties who had brought their children along. And over dinner and drinks you learned that Dan, from your boat, also had a son around the same age as Tim’s he had wanted to bring along. It was due to a miscommunication with his ex-wife that that hadn’t happened. 

Joe caught Dan looking at Tim’s boy with sad eyes and had cleared his throat loudly before changing the subject over to Jesse and Charlie, the two lads in their earlier twenties. 

Unbeknownst to you, Joe found himself to have a lot in common with them when they talked about girls, and how they had given up on them for a bit. The chat at your table turned almost therapeutic; everyone shared why they were single, and it was all different, but all complex. 

You didn’t share, and neither did Joe. No one pressed it, which was nice.

And then it dawned on you. 

People go on these trips more so to avoid couples all together. 

To not be surrounded by public displays of affection from lovey-dovey coupled-up friends and family. 

To be on a trip where you’re not the third or fifth wheel amongst them. 

To be in a group of like-minded people and to just hang out together. 

It’s why there were children there too – how lovely must it be to take a trip with other single parents who share the same hardships as you? The whole world suddenly seemed to be catered towards couples only, unfairly so. 

You felt like you discovered a secret treasure not meant for your eyes. Your revelation blew fresh air into your passion project, right there at the dinner table, and you tapped away in your notes app on your phone to capture as much of your trail of thought as you could. 

When you noticed Joe peeking over you shoulder, you shoved him away.

“Are you not meant to be writing about me?” Joe smirked, having caught some of what you were writing down.

“I was.” You said pointedly, closing the app and putting your phone down.

Day Three: Epidaurus to Poros

For the second time, Joe woke up next to you which ultimately wasn’t as weird as he thought it would have been. 

Should have been. 

You both were very adult about it together. But sometimes a bigger boat would pass, and it’d make your boat dance over larger waves. Not an issue, maybe a little nauseating, but it meant that you’d accidentally touch a lot in the night. You were both level-headed about it though. Definitely well-trained professionals. Joe tried to think of another job where people had to sleep in the same bed, for several nights, in sticky Mediterranean heat after hanging out in swimwear all day. 

Nothing came to mind.

It hadn’t just been the sleeping arrangement that had helped grow the sense of familiarity between the two of you fast. Standing in one of the tiny bathrooms of the boat, you were both brushing your teeth, and Joe wasn’t sure why or how he felt this was a totally normal thing to do, but he’d lean over your shoulder to spit into the sink for which you would then turn the tap on to wash it away.

Professionals.

You started that day with a big sigh. There was a bus excursion planned to a museum in Epidaurus, but you weren’t in the mood for it. 

“I’m not a huge fan of seeing things,” you protested with a shrug. It was a weird hill to die on, entirely made up of lies. You were just moody. “Things are places. I get it.” 

It made Joe remember why he’d sworn off love.  

“So, don’t come then.” Joe tried. 

“No, no,” Another sigh. “I’ll come.” 

Women.

When you got to the museum, Joe didn’t understand how you were still fun to be around when grumpy. He wondered if he was fun to be around, just so that this trip would at least be a little bearable for you, but you hadn’t mentioned anything to Joe about it yet, so he figured he was fine. You seemed the type of person to tell him straight away if he was boring, and he kind of liked that about you. 

Because the old Greeks didn’t have microphones, obviously, the museum you had set foot into was known for its acoustics. Every room had been designed for sound to travel. When Charlie and Jesse had gleefully decided to test it by singing Sweet Caroline, they had your entire group join in within seconds. 

“Hands… touching hands… reaching out… touching me… touching you…”

They became louder and rowdier, dancing now too, arms reaching and touching each other. Smiles grew bigger when no one seemed to stop them. The other tourists there however did not seem very happy with the disruption, and Joe saw you take a few steps away from the group.

“Having fun?” Joe yelled, trying to speak over the echoing voices practically shouting the chorus, half of them adding boisterous ‘so good, so good, so good’ whilst punching the air to fill the short silence in between. Meanwhile Dan had found a table to drum the beat onto as others clapped.

“This is really embarrassing,” you mouthed at Joe, seeing the judgmental eyes from strangers that hurriedly left the room you were in. It only prompted Joe to be more embarrassing as he tried to rope you back into the group with cheesy dance moves and singing in a comically deep voice. 

And you couldn’t actually believe it, but something about the joy that Joe could let shine from his eyes made you give in and join them in their antics. 

After that, things got better. 

Your mood got better. 

Especially when you found a hotel where everyone was allowed a five-minute shower. It was likely to be the last good shower that you would get for the week. 

That afternoon you sailed your way over to Poros, and you were struck by how much every single place you visited looked like it wasn’t real. Too picturesque. As if built for multi-million Hollywood films.  

Poros, Martin told you, had a boulevard, so you could go shopping if you wanted to. Immediately excited, you helped dock the boat, having learnt a thing or two by now. You managed to jump of the boat swiftly, and caught the ropes thrown at you with ease, quickly tying them onto the thick hooks meant for them.

When Joe helped you get back onto the boat, something happened that made him feel for you: your sunglasses fell into the water. Joe watched them slowly sink deeper, and he was touched by how much the two of you were alike. Losing your sunglasses in the water was something so typical for Joe to do.  

“Quick! Get them!” you called out, but Joe looked into the clear water and saw how they were already so close to the bottom. The two of you just watched as they hit the sand. 

“Shit,” you muttered. “Those were such a good pair, too. Now you’ll have to get new ones.”

Hang on a minute, what? 

Confused, Joe reached for the top of his head. 

“Oh.” 

Those sunglasses weren’t yours. 

They were Joe’s. 

Losing sunglasses in the water wasn’t something Joe would do. It’s something he did.

You spent the afternoon walking the boulevard and perching pairs of sunglasses on Joe’s slightly sunburned nose, in search of finding a pair that you both liked on him.

“What about these ones?” Joe asked you and turned his face so you could see. 

You looked up from your phone at him shortly. 

“Those are nice.” 

And to be fair, you liked most of them on Joe, but Joe wasn’t as easy. He was after a pair similar enough to the ones he’d lost and took the job seriously. 

“Listen, I know you’re here to do a job,” Joe placed his hand over your phone and pushed it down slightly. “But right now, your job should be to tell me how beautiful I look in these instead of writing about it.” Joe joked, and it was enough to make you laugh and slide your phone back into your pocket.  

“You look stunning.” 

“Okay, I’ll get them.”

Day Four: Poros to Vathy

“You’re single because you don’t know how to have a proper argument,” a friend of Joe had told him before he’d gone on this trip. 

Joe had heard so many sentences start with “You’re single because…” but this was a new one. And Joe had agreed. Joe was quick to admit he’d been wrong, even if he hadn’t been, would just listen to complaints and then adapt, giving the other person no pushback. It was just easier that way.

This trip, however, wasn’t the time to practice arguing for the sake of getting better at it and perhaps enhancing his luck in relationships.

On the boat you laughed a lot. 

The way you’d envisioned all of you to be a weird make-shift family had kind of become reality in the best sense of the word. You had revealed to be a journalist who was merely on the trip to write about it, and it had intrigued everyone. 

Charlie and Jesse had immediately come up with pseudonyms for themselves: Charlie would be Jesse, and Jesse would be Charlie. It was such a stupid joke; it had left you giggling just thinking of it hours later. 

Joe had then also told them that he was there as your subject, which made it sound as if you held full power over him. You realised then that you sort of did and wondered if that was how Joe had felt the whole time you’d been around each other. You hoped he hadn’t, knowing it would be so much nicer if Joe would just be fully himself without also keeping busy doing guesswork as to what you’d write about him later. Plus, you’d kind of grown fond of the Joe you had gotten to know, so imagining him not being fully himself stung a little.

Once you got off the boat and stepped into Vathy, your legs felt wobbly stepping onto land. “Sea legs,” you said when grabbing hold of the closest thing to you to find your balance. 

“Here.” 

The closest thing had been Joe, and he held out his arm for you to link yours through for your walk. 

More of your company felt their legs had to get used to being on steady ground again, and Martin had given you the advice to go for a run around the island. It would get jitters out, but more importantly pump oxygen into your muscles which would prevent funny legs later in the trip. 

The sun was high in the sky, and Joe really didn’t want to work out, but after lunch you managed to talk him into it by challenging his ego. He threw it right back at you; there was no way you would be able to keep up with him, that’s obviously why he hadn’t wanted to go running with you at first, but if you really insisted on learning how slow you really were, you were Joe’s guest. 

Joe mentally took back every joke he made when he later saw you fighting up a hill in the blearing heat of the late afternoon. 

On your run together through winding, sandy lanes you were stopped twice by sheep and cows crossing the street. It was almost ridiculous how cliché it all felt, but Vathy really was more beautiful than you’d seen online. On your left you were looking down at the sea where the light was dancing on the waves like liquid diamonds. 

Far from the harbour, more out to open sea, a dozen or so shapes bobbed up and down on the water, and with their shiny black bodies, they could easily be mistaken for seals. But if you looked closer, you’d see they were surfers waiting, watching for their next wave. 

You had pointed them out to Joe, but secretly, Joe only had eyes for you. 

Maybe it was just the air up there, Joe hoped, but you were so pretty like this. 

Sweaty cheeks, lips flushed, chest heaving. 

Joe didn’t mind you taking the lead, running two, three steps ahead, turning into side roads and deciding which way to go. It gave him all the more opportunity to look at you.

When you stopped for some water, body pumping with endorphins, you noticed how Joe’s white T-shirt was drenched in his sweat, its white fabric now translucent enough for you to see his nipples through. 

Seeing them like this was inherently funnier than seeing them when Joe would be topless, swimming, diving off the boat and climbing back on only to dive off again. 

You smiled through heavy pants and after screwing the top back onto your water bottle, you used a finger to poke him right in one of his nipples before scurrying off, continuing your run.

Day Five: Vathy to Perdika 

Today you were harshly reminded you were on a business trip instead of a family holiday when you were called by Olivier Magazine. There was only just enough reception for you to take the call and talk through the material you had so far.  

You’d snuck into the bedroom for it, so others wouldn’t hear, but you’d forgotten the hatch window in the ceiling that opened to the deck where Joe was laid out to sunbathe. 

“Not yet, I don’t want it too forced, you know? I’ll have to sneak a few,” 

“I could just use my phone,”

“Yea, I have it, it’s just huge,” 

“Not really… but, yea, no, okay,”

“Okay, I will.”

Joe didn’t like how you sounded defeated as you ended the call, but moved over quickly, away from the hatch window. 

When you stepped out in a shy-making short dress, carrying a big camera, Joe understood you’d been given an awkward task. It was absolutely impossible to sneak pictures of him with that, so he decided he’d help out. 

“Ooh, give that to me!” he held out a hand from all the way across the boat, encouraging you to make your way over and hand him the camera. Joe took it like a child would take a toy, turned it on and immediately started playing with settings, taking test shots of his feet dangling over the edge. 

You internally sighed with relief and thought of what else your writing should include. Joe’s helpful demeanour, for sure. 

You let Joe play with the camera, warning him not to drop it from the boat like he had done his sunglasses, forcing him to wear the strap around his neck at all times, and you made your way back into the cabin. 

It was time to get some words out, from your phone and from your brain onto your laptop and hopefully in a coherent enough manner to get some of it over to Olivier for feedback. 

So, you sat down opposite the kitchen and organised everything you needed. 

You could hear people laugh up on the deck, and you imagined them posing for photos Joe was taking of them. It took some pressure off, knowing Joe had fun without you meant you could just sit inside for a bit to get work done.  

It had been over two hours when you heard the camera’s shutter a lot closer to you than you felt was possible with you being the only one inside. You looked up from your laptop to see a hand holding it stuck through a hatch window in the ceiling, lens pointing at you. You smiled but said you’d delete that later. It was met with loud groans from the deck, followed by Daisy who told the boys to leave you alone.  Another 45 minutes passed.

“Jesse, you’re lowering the anchor in three minutes!” Martin called out as he stepped down the ladder into the cabin. 

“Have you ever snorkelled before?” he asked you as he reached for a cabinet, revealing a pile of different kinds of goggles inside.

You didn’t think you’d ever felt more claustrophobic in your life, breathing through a tube with your face down under the water. The fact that the water was clear enough for you to see how deep it was really didn’t help. 

And even though very pretty, fish would get very close to you and you didn’t want to touch them. 

“Come here,” Joe swam over when you’d sputtered and coughed again as you attempted another go at it. 

“You know how to float on your back, right? It’s the same, but face down.” 

And Joe’s hands guided your body as his legs kicked underneath him to keep himself above water. He placed one hand on your stomach that pushed up slightly. 

“That's it.” 

His other hand was for you to grip onto, because panic hadn’t left your system yet and Joe held onto it until you’d gotten the hang of it. 

Day Six: Perdika to Korfos

Joe was sixteen when for the first time something happened in his life that was love-related. He was sitting on a bench and had been inches away from kissing a girl. He could still see himself sitting there, but strangely enough he really couldn’t remember for the life of him if he got to actually kiss her that afternoon, or not. 

It was a thought that was wrecking his brain whilst laying out to tan on the Paris. 

You were next to him, and you were reading – or at least, holding onto a book, but away from everyone else, you fell into easy conversation together. 

Joe talked about the girl on the bench when he’d been sixteen. 

Your chats had been borderline forgettable on day one, but nearing in on a week later, your chats had gotten deeper, and Joe fed you information for your piece. 

You wondered if you should mention that nothing was off the record with you as Joe’s chats got more private, but you didn’t want to ruin the moment and shut him up. 

Joe talked about the women from the ads, Instagram and films and how none of them ever found themselves sat in his living room. How he’d been shot down as he had tried to flirt with someone at an industry party where he’d ran into Matthew. 

You were at that party too, but you refrained from telling Joe. 

You hadn’t seen him, but it stung a little that he’d been there and had been willing to flirt with strangers. You could’ve been one of them. You remembered Matthew telling you that night that he had green-lit your pitch, and you’d gotten plastered. 

Who knows what would’ve happened had actually ran into him that night.

To break the tension a little, Joe pointed a passing boat. 

“Look,” he said. “That’s what I think–” and then Joe looked at you before sarcastically adding a side comment, “way, way, after you of course,” you raised your eyebrows and looked in the direction of Joe’s pointing finger. “– is a pretty lady.”

“Are you joking?” you couldn’t help but chuckle. 

It was entirely too predictable. 

Joe’d pointed out a gorgeous blonde girl who couldn’t have been older than 20 at most, wearing a bright pink shimmery bikini with a huge sunhat that shaded her face perched on top of her head. 

Of course he thought she was beautiful; she was textbook pretty.

“If that’s your type I want to formerly apologise for you not having met any on this trip.” 

You turned over onto your stomach, letting the sunbeams dance along your back to even out your tan. 

“Dolphins!” Martin suddenly shouted, making Joe eat whatever his reaction to your comment was going to be. 

You both sat up immediately and saw them shooting over the water. It was a perfect image: the calm blue sea, green mountains from the islands you were passing and the stretched out blue sky with dolphins playing along the side of your boat. 

It felt like a fairy tale, and you were lucky someone handed you your camera in time for you to capture it. 

Sailing led you to a new island and a new village. 

Korfos was a place so small, there wasn't even ATMs there, and Martin only knew of one restaurant for you to go to. There you were greeted by something you’d never seen before in your life. Outside, bordering the seating area where you all sat down, there was a tight twine bound between two trees that was filled with hanging octopuses, drying out in the sun side by side. You learned it was a traditional way of preparing them, but that didn’t take away your slight alarm at the sight. 

At dinner Martin told old sailing stories, you pointed at blonde girls for Joe which you found a lot funnier than he did, and Dan got drunk. When he, at the end of dinner, helped two young children buy ice cream, he looked back at your table and shouted, “Just like old times! Kids, man, they’re the best thing that can happen to you!” And no one poked fun or told him to calm down. The sheer acceptance felt ‘round the table could’ve make you cry.

When back on the boat, all tucked into bed, Dan was still drunk. 

“Ay, ay captain!” he kept yelling from his bed, and the both of you were doing a bad job stifling your laughter. It had you rolling into each other in between the sheets. 

“Hey,” Dan yelled, and the both of you froze in anticipation of what as going to be coming next, big eyes looking into each other’s. 

“I might be old-fashioned,” his catchphrase made laughter escape Joe’s throat loudly. 

“But don’t put me on the cover of your magazine, alright?” 

You could go into detail of why what he just said was wrong, because you didn’t yield that power, the magazine wasn’t yours, and he was just Dan from Manchester, a single dude who missed his son. Why would he be on the cover of Olivier Magazine? 

But obviously, you didn’t do that.

“Okay, Dan, I promise.”

Day Seven: Korfos to Athens

You had been woken up by Joe carefully peeling your arm off of his chest and sliding away from your embrace. 

It was almost painful when you realised what he was doing, and the gentleness of his fingers that tried their best not to wake you made it worse. 

Your arm must have snuck its way over in the night, and you hadn’t been aware, but it left you embarrassed enough to avoid Joe’s eyes during breakfast.

While the day had started with a beautiful sea for all of you to dip into before setting of back to Athens, it wasn’t your day. Which was a shame for your last full day in Greece. 

You thought it might have been the looming end of your trip, or the pressure of finishing up writing that you really should have done so much more of. But you kept mulling over the fact that Joe had moved you away from him in bed that morning, and ultimately, that was what had affected you the most.

At noon, when there was time to walk into Athens and have some fun, Joe pressured you to join him, which you felt you couldn’t. 

Also, he couldn’t, because you needed photographs of Joe on a boat with an opened white shirt that billowed behind him in the wind, like you’d envisioned when you booked this trip for the two of you. 

But you weren’t going to ask him to pose for you, because you felt dumb for having to do so. 

And Joe’s chest was peeling because he hadn’t been using sunscreen properly. 

None of it was right.

Suddenly, you were fighting. And as friendly and professional you’d been all throughout the week, so mean were you towards each other now. You were all biting remarks, scratchy words, and angry tones.

“You can’t not come, it’s our last full day!” Joe had roped Dan and Martin in on it too. Three against one, entirely unfair, especially after his rejection of you that morning because that's what it had become in your mind.

“Wanker,” you muttered before shutting the flimsy door to your bedroom and shutting him out. Joe thought you were being absolutely ridiculous, but it really pissed him off when you shouted, “Yes, I’m a horrible person!” putting words in his mouth.

“God, you’re not a bad person! I never said that!”

You were still hissing at each other when you joined Dan and Martin, piling into a taxi together to go and climb the Acropolis of Athens. Martin had managed to talk you into it and you’d angrily given in. When Joe looked surprised, and offered to help you get off the boat, you’d refused and had taken a big jump. 

Joe pretended he hadn’t seen you almost fall over and scrape up your knees. 

The climb to the top had been a silent one. Dan would stop to take photographs with your camera, and you were glad the task of capturing Joe was in someone else’s hands. 

At the top of the Acropolis, you thought to yourself that more than only the Parthenon had been damaged. 

And for what? 

Stress over work? 

From up here, you looked down behind you and felt silly at the problems you’d created for yourself down there. 

Dan passed you your camera, and you caught Joe looking over at you.

“Do you still like me?” Joe asked when he started growing doubtful if your friendship was still mendable, to at least finish the trip nicely. 

“No,” you answered, but you smiled. 

The sun within you had risen. “Can I take your picture?” you asked, the source of the initial problem now out of you.

“Of course, go ahead.” 

Back from all the ruins, you put Dan and Martin in a taxi back to the harbour and decided to go for dinner and drinks in Athens. To see what the night life was like here. 

“And we’ll see if we can find you a nice blonde girl!” 

You laughed at the fact that what you had originally thought this whole trip was going to be, the great purpose of going on a trip designed for single people, got boiled down to this last evening on the last day of the full thing.  

But first, there was dinner.

You found a cosy little restaurant tucked away in an alley and Joe knew that the connection he felt to you then was much stronger than before because of the fight you’d had earlier. 

“They all thought we were a couple, hey?” Joe said, speaking truths that had been left unspoken up until then. 

“Yea,” you nodded. “Made me feel a little proud on our first day here,” you confessed, and you saw Joe bite the inside of his cheek.

Joe thought that was the nicest thing you’d said to him, and it was going to be weird that he wasn’t going to be seeing you anymore in two days. Because you weren’t his, he knew that. It felt a little like, how the classic Paris had kidnapped Helena, Joe had kidnapped you for a week. 

“You know,” you started. “You don’t have to be so mythical about women. Really, it’s all way easier than you think. Sometimes just ‘are you free tonight’ is enough if it’s the right one.” 

Were you flirting? 

“Easier, huh? I’ll try and remember that. Can I tell you something crazy?” 

“Sure,” you had your doubts about how crazy whatever Joe was going to tell you was going to be. 

The Joe you had gotten to know wasn’t crazy at all. He was kind, soft, funny, and caring. 

You’d formed a weird friendship, where sometimes you’d catch him staring at you and he’d look away quickly. 

The boundaries you had initially felt between the two of you that served its purpose for you as a journalist to keep at least a little distance had been completely shattered on that first night in bed together. 

“When I agreed to do this trip with you, it was only because I’d sworn of women.” Joe started, not making the best case for himself. 

“Interesting, is it men now?” you joked, before pointedly adding, “Everything’s on the record here, choose your words wisely.” which made Joe laugh.

“I’m sure you have those moments where you’re just exhausted with the whole premise of dating, right? Especially in London.” Joe relayed it back to you, which was smart. It instantly meant that if you were going to answer, you wouldn’t want to include it in your piece. 

So, you shrugged in a non-answer. 

“I made a pact with myself that, for at least the summer, I wouldn’t try to chase it.” 

“Chase what?” 

“Love.” 

You froze for a second and looked up at Joe. 

“And how’s that gone so far?” 

The air felt charged and you could see the straight path you wanted Joe to walk right towards you, but with every word Joe’d say, there was the possibility that he’d stray off of it. 

Every next word out of Joe’s mouth was either going to be terrible or magnificent.  

“Oh, it was so effortless for the first few days.” Of your trip, Joe meant. “You’ve seen our group.” Joe then stated, and you laughed. 

“We’re not exactly surrounded by temptation, are we?” 

A silence lingered, and you tried to imagine what Joe was thinking. Did he disagree? Were you temptation? Had Joe not removed your arm from his body because he felt disgusted by it, but because it would open doors he didn’t feel he could open? Should open? Or, had he been just hot and uncomfortable under your sticky limb? You just realised that had been an option too.

“I didn’t think I’d have so much fun on this tip, though. I think I’ve come to love all of you a bit.” Joe then smiled, and you copied it. 

Yes, he was right. 

Tim and his kid had become your somewhat distant uncle who relished in teaching his son how to play sudoku. 

Dan was the drunk uncle who had so much weight on his shoulders, it had turned him funny. 

Martin was the father, and not just because Jesse would call him dad all the time. 

Jesse and Charlie were your younger brothers, maybe even twin brothers, who were annoying sometimes but hilarious always. 

Frank and Daisy felt like grandparents, even though technically they weren’t old enough unless a string of teen pregnancies tied you together. 

You weren’t sure who you and Joe were in this family, or what you were to each other for that matter.

“Me too,” you said. “It’s going to be a weird couple of pages in Olivier next month.” 

 “Yea?” 

“It’ll have your face on, I’m sure it’ll do good, but it’s absolutely not what I expected it was going to be beforehand.” 

Joe just looked at you. 

“Which is probably good, if I had found exactly what I thought I was going to find, I might as well not have gone.” 

“What did you find?” Joe pressed.

“Ah, you’ll have to read that in the magazine like everybody else next month, I’m afraid.” You teased. 

And so, he did. Joe’s management had received a copy of the magazine about 4 days before its release date. 

Summer was over, and the autumn issues were about to come out. It graced Joe on the cover, sat on the side of the boat, legs dangling over the side, arms and head resting on the metal bar that prevented him from falling into the water. 

You could see his peeling chest and his sunburnt nose, and with the sun shining bright, Joe hadn’t opted to slide the sunglasses from his hair, but instead he had shut one eye and squinted at the camera with a smile. It was very boyfriend of him, entirely too dreamy not to have been chosen as the cover shot. You hadn’t taken it, and it had cost you precious company time to figure out who did, feeling like proper credits were in order. 

It had left you with contact details to every single person you’d gotten to know on your trip, and you’d promised yourself you’d share all of it with Joe once the magazine would be out and you’d have a reason to e-mail him. 

You’d managed to get twelve pages in. Twelve! It was double the amount you’d ever gotten in a magazine before. It was nine pages of photographs, and three pages of writing. You were nervous of what Joe was going to think of it, not even knowing if he was ever really going to read it. 

Joe did read it, though. 

Turning pages of photos, he was sad there hadn’t been any of you in them. 

Some of the others had made it in; there was a smaller picture of Joe, Charlie and Jesse as they posed near the bow of the boat as if they were Greek Gods; a photo Daisy had taken of them. Martin was there too, sat behind the boat wheel wearing a captain’s hat that you hadn’t seen him wear for the full trip. 

Joe was surprised by how much he missed it all; it truly felt like he was flipping through a family photo album and his chest filled with nostalgia. 

“Got a copy. Need to call you. I don’t have your number, and Matthew won’t give it because he says I’ve got your e-mail.” 

Joe sent an e-mail and had to wait entirely too long for you to reply to it. 

“What a way to induce an anxiety attack on a Tuesday afternoon.” You’d e-mailed back, followed by your phone number. 

It only took seconds for Joe to call.

“Sorry, no need to panic!” were the first words out of his mouth before you’d even gotten the chance to say hi.  

“Bad choice of words on my part, sorry, but I’m looking at Olivier now and, I know it’s probably not customary to ring the writer with some feedback, but... it’s beautiful.” he followed. 

“Hi,” you grinned as you got the word in.

“Hi,” Joe replied, sighing a laugh. 

“I’m glad you like it.” 

“You’re not in it.” Joe meant with a picture. He’d taken many of you, so he knew there’d been options for you to try.

“I am. Just in the words.”

“I like that you got some of the others in. Have they seen it yet?” 

“No, but they will. I’ve gotten my hands on everyone’s details.”

“Is it weird that I miss them?” 

“It’s not,” you laughed. “I miss them too. Especially Dan.”

“Especially Dan.” Joe agreed. 

“So, summer’s over.” Joe closed the magazine and looked at his own face on the cover of it. 

“It is.” You confirmed, unsure where Joe was going.

“I erm… I took your advice on not being so mythical about women.” 

“Oh, good!” you were genuinely happy for Joe, and thought that maybe he was going to say how your trip had fixed him and he had now found the one woman who did look like the women do in ads that would also sit on his sofa in his flat with him. 

“Are you free for dinner tonight?”

Oh.

“I- …. Yes. I am.” 

---

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