#I wasn't totally sure if I should make a whole new post for these

[theerastour]

the eras tour + new 1989 sets (x)

[hyuckiefluff]

tease | lee haechan

pairing: lee haechan x f!reader genre: enemies-ish to lovers, college au word count: 5.8k+ summary: Playing spin the bottle definitely wasn't what you had envisioned for your first college party. And the last person you expected to see was Lee Haechan. But life has a funny way of throwing surprises at you, and this time it came in the form of the bottle landing on some drunk dude who dared you to kiss Haechan. warnings: oral (m receiving), fngering, cursing, drinking, hc calls reader princess a/n: rushed this one a bit to post it on time for haechan’s bday :D i hope you enjoy! and happy birthday my haechan ilysm baby! - i recommend listening to sweat by zayn while reading

m.list

"New girl… what was your name... oh right.. Y/N” the guy's words stumbled out of his mouth, clearly too many drinks deep into the night. He was trying so hard to formulate a single coherent thought, but his speech was all over the place. And there you sat, legs crossed, waiting for whatever command he was about to throw at you.

"You should, ehm... uh… oh I know… you should kiss the person in front of you," he slurred, barely able to keep his eyes open.

You tensed up when the words left his mouth. You expected having to kiss someone in this game but you weren’t all that excited or open to the idea. Sure, you could've just taken a shot and avoided the whole ordeal, but you had already declined way too many requests and had knocked back enough shots for the night. Plus, your friend had disappeared into the crowd a while ago, leaving you to fend for yourself. You didn't want to push your drinking limit any further.

But honestly, the mere thought of kissing anyone at that moment felt too awkward. You didn't know a single person in this circle, and the boys surrounding you seemed ready to pounce at the opportunity. The uncomfortable feeling in the pit of your stomach grew stronger. And just when you thought things couldn't get any worse, someone sauntered into the circle, nudging the guy who had been in front of you aside, without a single word of protest. It was as if the universe itself conspired to make the situation even more complicated because there he was, in all his glory, Lee Haechan.

Let me give you a short backstory. Haechan was one of your brother's closest friends, and you practically grew up with him. Well, maybe "in his shadow" is a more accurate description. His larger-than-life personality always overshadowed your shy self whenever you were in the same room. And there was also the teasing. Haechan took great pleasure in getting under your skin. While most of your brother's friends ignored you, Haechan found it amusing to embarrass you at every opportunity. He'd mock your fashion choices and poke fun at your taste in music. Basically, anything he could find that was worthy of a good tease, he'd go for it. Sure, you'll admit that you were a bit of an awkward kid back then, spending most of your time holed up in your room, jamming out to some obscure indie band, and wearing some questionable outfits (you can totally blame your mom for that until you turned 13). 

Anyway, let's just say Lee Haechan wasn't exactly the friendliest face in your memory bank.

It’s been two whole years since you last laid eyes on him, and you honestly thought you'd never have to see him again. Your big brother mentioned that Haechan went off to "some college" out of town, so you assumed your paths would never cross. But your brother also conveniently forgot to mention the crucial detail that Haechan had actually managed to get into your top-choice university. Yes, the very same one you had been raving about since the idea of higher education even entered your mind. Thank you for the heads up, big bro.

Now you were sitting here, about to lose your mind because the first time you’re meeting Haechan after all this time, you're being dared to kiss him...in front of all these people too. There was no way you could do this. Your hesitance was impossible to hide, and everyone seemed to notice. But Haechan, being Haechan, couldn't resist making a comment about it. Of course.

“She won’t do it.” He said, taking a casual sip from his drink. 

Though he pretty much spoke your thoughts out loud, you still paused and looked at him raising an eyebrow. You would've shrugged it off, but there was no way you were going to let Haechan continue teasing you like that in college. You were too grown and fed up to allow him to treat you that way.

“And why won’t she?” You asked, crossing your arms.

He chuckled “Because she doesn’t have it in her.” He said the words slowly to taunt you. 

Maybe it was the fact that he was talking as if you weren’t in the room, or that he seemed so sure that you were too much of a coward to kiss him but before you could stop yourself you started crawling up to him. The circle of people around you suddenly more interested in your every move. Now you were kneeling in between Haechan’s sprawled legs, so close to his face that you could smell the mix of alcohol with his cologne. He put down his drink, the look of bore left his eyes and he perked up a little at your sudden closeness. Without giving yourself time to cower away you closed the distance between your lips. You didn’t miss the slight flinch of surprise he gave when your lips touched, he really wasn’t expecting you to go through with it.

Haechan would sooner be caught dead than admit it but he really enjoyed getting a rise out of you. It gave him this weird rush whenever he saw you getting all flustered or even a little pissed off. Sure, you were usually the shy and soft-spoken type, but deep down, there was a side to you that had some fight in it. It wasn't something you showed to just anyone, but he had managed to bring it out of you on more than one occasion.

He never in a million years expected seeing you at this party. It had been a while since he even thought about you. So, when he spotted you in the crowd, he was completely caught off guard. He watched you intently all night, trying to figure out if it was actually you. It hadn't been that long since he last saw you, but there was something distinctly different about you. You were engaged in lively conversations, your laughter floating through the air. It was a stark contrast to the image he had of you in his head.

He only remembers how reserved you were, back then you weren't able to have a full conversation with him or even hold eye contact. So, when he ended up sitting in front of you, teasing you like he always did, he never expected you to do anything more than maybe give him some attitude and walk away. But man, did you flip the script on him.

Before Haechan could even process what was happening, there you were, on your knees in front of him. His attention instinctively went to your tongue darting across your lips, that simple action getting him way too excited. Before he had a chance to react, your lips were already on his. The kiss started off slow, like a cautious test drive. Haechan could tell you weren't exactly planning to go this far, he could sense that hint of hesitance in your every move.

This wasn't the kind of kiss he usually went for. He liked them rough, the kind that leaves you breathless. But, there was something about you taking charge that had him intrigued. Even though it was a simple kiss with no crazy fireworks, it managed to get both your hearts racing.

Your hands went to his chin to keep him in place while your lips fumbled in a slow rhythm that had Haechan going kinda crazy inside. He had to fight hard to keep his cool, resisting the urge to grab you and kiss you back as hard as he wanted to. His hands stayed glued to the floor. He was scared that if he touched you, he wouldn't be able to stop himself, and also because his palms were suddenly a sweaty mess and he doubted you’d like that.

You tilted his head back a bit causing his mouth to slack open. With this new access, your tongue shyly ventured into his mouth, as if following an instinctive cue. Haechan also took a chance and nibbled on your lower lip, causing a soft whimper to escape your lips. The sound made his whole body tense up. Your hands roamed from his chin to the back of his head, testing the waters by gently tugging on his hair. That's when an involuntary grunt slipped out of Haechan's mouth, snapping you both back to reality.

As you pulled away, his eyes slowly fluttered open. Yours immediately darted to his slightly swollen lips, tinged with the color of your lipstick. Acting on some unknown impulse, you brushed your thumb against his lips wiping off the lipstick. He glanced at your finger and then met your gaze again, his eyes filled with an intensity that made your breath hitch. You said nothing and wiped the remnants of lipstick from your finger onto his clean white undershirt, all while maintaining unwavering eye contact. 

You stood up, trying not to make it too obvious that your legs were weaker than before. Seeing the slightly shocked and amused faces of everyone around you would’ve scared younger you into running away but you didn’t feel intimidated at all. 

"I'm gonna grab a new drink," you announced, giving Haechan one final glance before making your way out.

Of course, you didn't actually head to the drinks table like you said you would. Instead, you dashed straight for the bathroom, your heart racing like a herd of wild horses. Closing the door behind you and allowing yourself a moment to process everything that just happened and pretty much freak out.

"Have you lost your damn mind, Y/N?" you scolded your reflection in the mirror, the harsh reality staring right back at you. Disheveled hair, smudged lipstick, and that dazed look in your eyes, mirroring the same one that Haechan had after the kiss. Letting out a heavy sigh, you rested your hands on the edge of the sink, reluctantly admitting to yourself that the kiss wasn't half bad. Who would've thought? Haechan, your tormentor, sure knew how to kiss. His lips felt downright amazing against yours, and the taste…  a mix of alcohol with a subtle sweetness that lingered on your lips, intoxicating your thoughts as you unconsciously replayed the moment over and over in your mind.

But before you could fully immerse yourself, the bathroom door swung open with a force, causing you to yelp in surprise. In your mortification, you had completely forgotten to lock the damn door. Oh, how you wished you had because to your horror, the intruder turned out to be none other than Haechan himself. His surprise at finding you in the bathroom was evident, though you couldn't help but wonder if he had followed you all the way here.

"You could've found a better hiding spot, you know," he jeered, leaning casually against the wall, his eyes meeting yours through the mirror's reflection.

"I wasn't hiding, Haechan. Can't a girl have some privacy in the bathroom?" you fired back.

"Sorry, it's just that you looked a little frustrated when you left, princess," he taunted, his words dripping with a mixture of amusement and something else you couldn't quite put your finger on.

"Quit calling me that" you shot back, irritation lacing your voice.

Haechan merely shrugged, his teasing smile still intact. "You're right. A princess doesn't run away like that after a kiss," he continued to taunt, enjoying the effect his words had on you.

"I didn't run away," you retorted, trying to maintain your composure. "But I don't need to explain myself to you anyway, so get out, Donghyuck," you said, turning around to face him with a glare.

His teasing demeanor faltered for a moment, a flicker of genuine surprise crossing his face at the use of his actual name. "Wow, it's been a while since anyone called me that. I like the way you say it," he admitted, attempting to lighten the mood. However, seeing your unamused expression, he raised his hands in surrender. "Come on, the kiss wasn't even that bad. You don't have to be embarrassed. Though it was so short, I couldn't really judge it properly."

"Pity, because you're never gonna get another chance," you replied, determination seeping into your voice as you turned your back to him.

Haechan studied you silently, his gaze fixed on your figure. There was a brief pause, a moment where the air between you seemed to thicken with anticipation. Slowly, he closed the distance between you, his proximity making you grip the edges of the sink tighter. He position his hands next to yours, his larger frame enveloping yours. Through the reflection in the mirror, his eyes locked onto yours. 

With a hushed voice, he leaned in close to your ear, his warm breath grazing your skin as he whispered, "We'll see about that."

The weight of his words hung in the air as he held your gaze for a moment longer. Then, with one final look, he pulled away, leaving you alone with your racing thoughts.

~~

A few days went by until you saw Haechan again at another party. It was insane how quickly you were getting invited to these things. Your social life went from zero to a hundred really quick. Things were finally looking up, and you were having a blast, making more friends along the way.

But of course, there he was—Haechan, lurking in the shadows like some lingering ghost. It felt like he was always in your peripheral vision, pretending he wasn't staring at you. Seriously, why couldn't he just go away? You made up your mind that finding someone else to hang out with would be the perfect way to shake off his annoying presence. Preferably someone who didn't get a kick out of teasing you mercilessly.

Just when you were mulling over your thoughts, a smooth voice broke through the noise from behind you. "Hey there, what's a beautiful girl like you doing all alone?"

You turned to face him and recognized him was one of the players from the spin the bottle game

 "Actually, I'm looking for my friend. She vanished into thin air, it seems," you replied, trying not to sound too awkward. Small talk was never your strong suit, especially with extremely attractive guys.

He nodded, laughing softly,  "Well, I can help you find her, but only if you dance with me."

You considered it for a moment, thinking it might be exactly the distraction you needed. "Sure, why not? Lead the way," you said, setting your drink aside and taking his hand as he guided you to the center of the room where people were dancing.

"I'm Jeno, by the way," he introduced himself, leaning in closer to your ear so you could hear him over the music.

You shouted back, "Nice to meet you, Jeno. I'm Y/N." He responded with an adorable eye smile, and you couldn't help but smile back.

In those few fleeting minutes with Jeno, you were already smitten. He was far more polite and considerate than the typical guys you had encountered in college so far. At first, there was definitely an air of slight intimidation surrounding him, probably because of his tall muscular frame and silver blonde hair, but as you danced together, he showed his soft and kind nature. His hands rested firmly on your hips, providing just the right amount of contact without encroaching on your personal space. As you felt more comfortable in his arms, you entwined your hands behind his neck, and only then he pulled you closer. The swift movement caused a gentle collision against his solid chest, confirming what you had suspected earlier—Jeno was no stranger to the gym. His white shirt was clinging to him in all the right places and you had to force yourself to look away before he caught you staring.

As the music played and your bodies moved against each other, Jeno leaned close to your ear once again. "You know... during the spin the bottle game, I was annoyed," he confessed.

Confused, you raised an eyebrow. "Why's that?"

"Because I was supposed to get that kiss from you, before that guy came and took my chance," he explained, his expression adorably pouting to emphasize his disappointment. 

Smiling at his confession, you couldn't help but tease him playfully. "Well, what if I told you I would've rather kissed you?"

His eyes lit up with delight, and you realized that he reminded you of a puppy. Jeno took your words as an invitation and slowly closed the gap between your faces, his lips barely grazing yours. But before the moment could fully unfold, the music abruptly stopped, and a crashing sound cut through the crowd. Turning your gaze over Jeno's shoulder, you saw chaos near the table where the sound system had been set up. 

The whole display had been knocked over, and the DJ  was engaged in a heated argument with another person. The other guy had his back to you, but you recognized that posture and when he turned his head to the side you confirmed who it was. Lee Haechan, his face contorted in anger as he flipped off the other guy who just kept yelling at him. His scorn only intensified when his eyes locked with yours, taking in the sight of you entangled with Jeno.

"What's going on over there?" you muttered to yourself, unable to tear your eyes away from the scene.

"Just some drunk jerk making a mess," Jeno replied, glancing back at you. 

You wished you could have resumed where you left off with him, but the interruption had shattered the moment. Not to mention, Haechan's piercing gaze lingered in your mind making you feel somewhat uneasy.

"Uh... I'm kind of thirsty. I should get a drink," you said, trying to find an excuse to escape the overwhelming atmosphere.

"I'll get it for you," Jeno offered, flashing a quick smile before heading off to fetch the drink. As he disappeared into the crowd, you ran your fingers through your hair, feeling the heat rising within you. The intensity of the almost-kiss and Haechan's intense stare made it hard to catch your breath. You needed a moment alone, away from the suffocating crowd.

You made your way to the bathroom upstairs, your go-to escape room. However, as you reached the door, you discovered it was locked, and the lewd sounds coming from inside let you know it wouldn’t be available for a while. Frustrated, you let out a sigh and glanced around, hoping to find another bathroom. Knocking on each door along the hallway, you realized that most of them were locked too, leaving little doubt as to what was happening inside.

Just as you were about to give up, the door at the end of the hallway swung open when you tried it, and you immediately slipped into the room discreetly. Closing the door behind you, you breathed a sigh of relief, grateful for this temporary escape. You stepped into the bathroom and splashed water on your face and neck, trying to cool yourself down. Staring at your reflection in the mirror, you couldn't help but feel frustrated with yourself for allowing Haechan to disrupt your thoughts once again. You hadn't even exchanged a single word with him tonight, yet he managed to occupy your mind so intensely. The realization hit you like a ton of bricks, and with a shake of your head, you resolved to leave the bathroom and rejoin Jeno, who was probably wondering where you had run off to.

But to your surprise and horror, someone stood on the balcony. You hadn't even realized the room had a balcony when you entered. The figure seemed unaware of your presence. So you attempted to make a silent exit, and almost succeeded until you accidentally tripped over a trash can. Wow, you really needed to pay better attention to your surroundings.

"Y/N?" a familiar voice called out, the one that had been haunting your thoughts just moments ago. Frozen in place, you debated whether to make a run for it. Surely he wouldn't stop you, right? He wouldn't chase after you... would he?

"Haechan..." you sighed, your tone conveying your frustration at seeing him. 

"Are you stalking me or something?," he asked, his teasing tone cutting through the tense air. You rolled your eyes at the absurd suggestion.

"Shouldn't I be the one asking that? It seems like you're always popping up wherever I go… first the game, then the bathroom, and now here," you retorted, counting off the instances on your fingers. "What are you even doing here?" You gestured around the room, emphasizing your point.

"I could ask you the same thing. Weren't you just getting cozy with that Kendoll downstairs?" he asked, hands nonchalantly tucked into his pockets as he gradually closed the distance between you. Now, up close, you could see him clearly. He wore a black graphic t-shirt with the words 'they come, they go,' and his jeans were ripped on the thighs. His hair was also somewhat styled. It was clear that he had put some effort into his appearance, unlike his usual messy style.

"You didn't answer my question," you persisted, fighting off the nerves that his proximity was starting to stir.

"Well, this happens to be my birthday party," he revealed, a hint of satisfaction in his voice at seeing the slight shock in your face.

"Oh… uhm… happy birthday," you awkwardly mumbled. His closeness now forced you to tilt your head upward, despite the height advantage your heels provided.

"Anyway, why did you make a scene at your own birthday party?" you asked, trying to kill the awkward silence and stepping away slightly to regain some personal space.

You made your way to the balcony, craving the fresh air as a relief from the intensity of the room.

"I guess you could say I wasn't vibing with the atmosphere, the music, the people... especially the people," he replied, his words hinting at something that you couldn't quite grasp.

"Hm, well, I was actually having a good time for once," you replied, leaning against the balcony rail. He mirrored your posture, but instead of gazing out at the street ahead, he fixed his gaze on you.

"Yeah, I could see that. So, who's your new boy-jock-friend?" he asked, his words dripping with sarcasm and… jealousy? You turned your head to the side, squinting incredulously at the ridiculous nickname he had given Jeno.

"His name is Jeno, and he's actually a really nice guy," you clarified.

"Is that so?," he hummed, his expression pensive. His lack of a proper response prompted you to look at him again, only to find him struggling to suppress a stupid grin.

"What, Haechan?" you demanded, growing tired of his antics.

"Nothing, just...I was wondering if you even like guys like that,"  he asked, shrugging.

"Why does it matter to you?" you shot back, your voice tinged with annoyance.

"It doesn't," he replied nonchalantly, but there was a subtle shift in his demeanor as he closed the distance between you. The intensity in his gaze mirrored the way he had looked at you after your first kiss. "But I know you don't like him." He whispered that into your ear, now standing directly behind you. 

Caught off guard by his statement, you instinctively turned around to face him. Bad idea.

"You're wrong," you managed to reply, though the pitch change in your voice betrayed your nervousness. His amusement grew as he leaned against the balcony rail, his hands positioned on either side of you.

"Then answer this..." he began, his hand gently brushing a stray strand of hair behind your ear before cupping your chin, tilting it ever so slightly, "Why are you here with me instead of with him?"

You were at a loss for words. He was right. You should have been downstairs with Jeno, dancing some more, perhaps even kissing him. Yet, there you stood with this fool, your gaze inexplicably drawn to his lips and the way they moved, and how he unconsciously wet them every few seconds.

"Nothing to say?" he teased, his nose grazing against yours, and you couldn't help but close your eyes, knowing deep down that you were about to do something completely crazy. "I think we-"

"Shut up," you blurted out, unable to hold back any longer, and you closed the gap between your lips in a frenzy. The kiss was anything but slow this time; it was a messy collision of longing and pent-up tension that had been brewing for days. All the warning signs you put for yourself to stay away from Lee Haechan felt irrelevant now.

Your hands found their way into Haechan's hair, pulling on the strands as you tried to make him groan just like before. But this time, he surprised you by firmly gripping your thighs and seating you on the balcony rail. The cool metal against your bare skin made you shiver, but the sensation was quickly overridden by the warmth of Haechan's touch. The kiss grew more intense, a mess of lips and tongues, bites, sucks, and a chorus of eager sounds that escaped from both of you. The world around you faded away as you focused solely on how good his hands and lips felt.

"Please," you moaned against his lips, and he wasted no time. In a flash, he lifted you, carrying you effortlessly to the bed. The kiss never faltered as he positioned himself above you, his hands hungrily exploring your body. Your skirt was hiked up, and he suddenly grabbed your ass making you gasp. Clothes were becoming a nuisance, and Haechan noticed your impatience as you fumbled with his shirt. He couldn't help but chuckle at your eagerness, but he helped anyways, discarding the shirt and revealing a canvas of smooth skin that begged to be touched.

You traced the contours of his torso with your fingers, savoring the sight of every mole and line etched across his skin. Your ogling was momentarily interrupted when Haechan tried to remove your tangled shirt, provoking a dramatic sigh from you when he finally pulled it off your head. He laughed at this and your lips met once more in a short, sweet kiss before his attention shifted to removing your skirt. 

Lying before him in nothing but your underwear, you watched as he straightened up, his gaze locked on your exposed form. You felt self-conscious but the way he was looking at you with darkened, adoring eyes, let you know that there was nothing to be shy about.

You flung your bra aside after unhooking it, meeting Haechan's hungry gaze as he took in your now exposed chest. You grabbed his hand inviting him to touch you. His hand glided from your belly to your breasts, exploring your curves slowly. He leaned and latched his mouth on your right breast, playing, nibbling, and sucking. He wanted to hear every moan and whimper coming from your lips. Each sound you made spurred him on, his body instinctively grinding against yours, his growing hardness pressing against you with every movement. You knew he was growing desperate with every sloppy thrust and lick of his tongue.

You hooked your finger through the chain around Haechan's neck and pulled him up so he was face to face with you "I want to try something," you whispered, planting a quick kiss on his lips. Gently pushing him by the shoulder, he willingly allowed himself to fall onto his back, his eyes fixed on you, filled with anticipation.

"What are you doing?" he asked, a playful tone lacing his breathless voice as you slowly crawled down his body, stopping in front of his crotch.

"What do you think?" you teased, unzipping his pants and sliding them down. His black boxers clung tightly to his arousal, already dampened with pre-cum. Biting your lip, you could already imagine his thickness just by the sight of it over his underwear. Looking up at Haechan, you noticed he had his hands behind his head to get a better view of your actions.

Without hesitation, you pulled down his boxers, causing his erection to spring up in an almost comical manner. There was no time to waste, you could tell that he might explode if you delayed any further. Grasping him firmly at the base, you used the slickness of his pre-cum as lub, pumping him a few times. Haechan bit his lips to contain his desperate moans, he didn’t want it to be so obvious that your simple touch on his dick almost made him cum.

But you had other plans. You wanted to hear him. You wanted to make him moan, whimper, and maybe  even cry out in pleasure. Propping yourself up, you leaned in and without warning, kitten-licked his sensitive tip. Haechan's head flew back, as a string of curses left his mouth. Delighted by his fucked up state, you repeated the motion several more times before finally taking him fully into your mouth. Slowly, you went deeper, until he hit the back of your throat. Inevitably, a groan escaped him, his self-restraint crumbling as you began to suck him off properly. He moaned, thrusting his hips into your mouth, his grip on your hair becoming desperate to ensure you wouldn't stop. Seeing him in such a vulnerable and desperate state was a sight you never thought you'd witness - Lee Haechan squirming beneath you, completely undone by your actions.

"Oh, f-...uck... that feels so good," Haechan groaned, his voice strained as you hollowed your cheeks and sucked harder. He was thrusting against your face without even realizing it. You didn't blame him; he was so consumed by pleasure that he couldn't control himself. You reached down and gently played with his balls, wanting to see his reaction. The way his eyes rolled back, and his hips momentarily faltered, told you that another touch like that would send him over the edge. With a quick glance at you bobbing your head up and down his cock, Haechan decided he had reached his limit. He grabbed you by the cheeks, pulling your mouth away from his dick. The lewd sight of your saliva connecting you both in a string made him wish he could capture the moment in a picture to enjoy later.

"I need to fuck you right now," Haechan explained when you looked at him with confusion. With those words, he got off the bed and rummaged through one of the night tables, searching for a condom. As he pulled out the small wrapper, you couldn't help but ask, "How did you know that was there?"

"Because this is my room," he said casually, the revelation catching you off guard. Though, it made sense that this was his dorm, given that it was his birthday party. 

He swiftly opened the condom wrapper and rolled it onto his cock. Without wasting any time, he climbed back onto the bed and slowly removed your panties, tutting at the sight of how wet you were. "Look at you," he said with a smile, allowing his fingers to explore your slick folds. The way your mouth opened and your eyes screwed shut in response showed just how bad you were needing to be touched there. As one of his fingers slowly entered you, he leaned in and kissed you, his tongue drowning out the moans that escaped your lips. Sensing your growing desperation, he added an extra finger, expertly pleasuring you. "H... Haechan," you moaned into his lips, and he hummed in response, continuing to finger you with more urgency. 

"Please... more," you managed to gasp out.

"As you wish, princess," he whispered, removing his fingers from you and licking your essence off them. He positioned himself on top of you, aligning his cock with your entrance. Teasingly, he pressed it against you without fully entering. "Haechan..." you said, your tone suddenly serious, using his dangling chain to pull him closer. "If you don't stop teasing me, I swear I'm going downstairs to find Jeno."

He let out a bitter laugh, but the mention of Jeno noticeably changed his demeanor. Before you could say anything else, he plunged inside you. The immediate clenching of your walls around him caused both of you to moan loudly. Haechan gripped your hips and adjusted your position with surprising care. After a few more seconds, you grabbed his hips and pushed him slightly, indicating that you wanted him to go deeper. Without wasting any more time, he obliged, burying his cock further inside you. "Fuck," he groaned, the sensation of him stretching you feeling too incredible for words.

He began to move, his thrusts gradually gaining speed until he was practically ramming into you. The sight of his pretty face, screwed up with swollen lips from all the kissing and biting, dilated pupils, and droplets of sweat on his forehead, drove you wild. 

Effortlessly, he grabbed your leg and propped it on his shoulder, allowing him to penetrate deeper, hitting a new spot that had your mouth foaming. He continued thrusting hard and fast, relishing in the way your breasts bounced with each powerful stroke. 

Your whimpering only made him want to see you come undone even more. He leaned in and kissed you softly, the tenderness contrasting with his hard thrusts. You melted into the kiss, moans mixing between you both. He even slowed down his thrusts, lost in the kiss for a moment. But then he unexpectedly started ramming into you again, thrusting harder and pushing you closer to the edge.

"Cum all over my cock, princess," he commanded, his voice hoarse with pleasure. With a few more hard thrusts and the feeling of his mouth devouring yours, you felt yourself reaching an orgasm more intense than anything you've ever before.

"Fu-...oh my god," you moaned loudly, your legs trembling uncontrollably.

Haechan followed suit shortly after, his thrusts growing messier as you clenched tightly around him. He came with a loud, uninhibited moan that reverberated through the room, a sound that would undoubtedly linger in your mind for a long time.

The air grew still, and the only audible sounds were the heavy, ragged breaths escaping both of you. Lying on your backs, you found yourselves staring up at the ceiling, your legs still intertwined, too exhausted to make a move or utter a word.

But then, Haechan shattered the silence.

"Best fucking birthday ever."

a/n: btw i reached 127 followers right after posting this so thank you so much lol *cue the flute*

[deandoesthingstome]

Labyrinth Fantasy

Pairing: Minotaur!Sy x Reader

Summary: There's a new hotel in town. You now know it's for real and you need more.

Word Count: 5.7K

Warnings: 18+, NO MINORS, cunnilingus, p in v (standing and reverse standing cowgirl), monster fucking (right?).

Fantasy Hotel Masterlist

You'd recounted enough of the details to convince your online benefactors that the investment was worth it, but kept enough to yourself to make the experience truly special.

Like, you didn't mention the time stretch at all. Though you had been wondering why the hotel even offered longer booking sessions if the hosts could just snap a finger and keep you satisfied forever. You felt only mild guilt about keeping the image of naked human Walter to yourself. They didn't need to know how good he looked NOT as a monster. You were keeping that for you own private thoughts. But you were bemoaning your current funding situation.

sendmeanangel: ugh, I'm never getting back there!!! MNstrluvr: Listen. There's a way. sendmeanangel: how? I can't get any more shifts at the restaurant. MNstrluvr: let us open a Patreon for you sendmeanangel: I'm NOT giving a recount of this event to total strangers darkgothnightengale: you have no idea who we are sendmeanangel: you are NOT total strangers. I know your favorite coffee and what you're studying at uni and your top 10 comfort movies. I know how you got that scar on your hand. darkgothnightengale: yeah but you didn't know that until you asked. Up to then we were total strangers who loved your work. Just like everyone on Patreon will be only they'll be paying MNstrluvr: yeah and you don't have to tell it to them like you told us. Put a different spin on it. Don't make the story from the perspective of the hotel. Make it a true fairy tale. Red riding hood in the woods and shit. Make him your boyfriend, The Woodsman, who's ready to show you his secret this fine full moon evening. sendmeanangel: oh my goddddddd!!! darkgothnightengale: yeah, but put all the most important details of him in Sendmeanangel: you just want to read about his massive cock splitting you open again darkgothnightengale: i have my needs. Besides, I just mean those details you only know now because you experienced it. You have something to draw from, something to make it real for everyone MNstrluvr: seriously, meana, do it. You will make so much money. You should have been putting your other stories out there long ago but this you can post and sell cause it'll be completely your own content with no re-imagining of existing characters sendmeanangel: okay, but you gotta beta the shit out of this for me. I can't have it sounding like I'm just recounting the whole thing from last night's fuck session with my partner MNstrluvr: 😆 🤣 😂 😹 darkgothnightengale: oh my goddddddd!!!! MNstrluvr: anyway we already created an account. We'll add your email and send you the password reset so you can run it and transfer the money to your bank whenever darkgothnightengale: and as always, no pressure on timing other than knowing you need the money to get back to Walter but I can't wait to read this! sendmeanangel: what if he's not available?

As you clicked Reserve something caught in the back of your mind.

Would Walter care you weren't coming back to see him?

How could he? You spent two hours (or was it more? You could never figure out the time swap calculations) together. You weren't even sure if that was his real name. Sure, you fantasized about him when you got home. You'd been in a fog of post-orgasmic bliss when you saw him in his human form, but that didn't stop you from cataloging every inch you could. Imagining snuggling next to his enormous and furry body wasn't hard.

It was this domestic bliss scene you'd eventually settled on as the opening to your "boyfriend's werewolf confession during an evening walk in the woods" fic that you posted on Patreon. The feedback had been a dream come true.

While the income wasn't as plentiful as you'd hoped, the wages and tips from your extra shifts allowed you to book another stay the following month. Walter was indeed not available on your only open day of the week so you sought out another option and found a four hour time slot with a new-to-you creature.

The listing called him Captain of the Guard.

Something about this fantasy made you select the box at check in specifically requesting your host enter in form. You had missed this at your previous visit, and as you thought back to meeting Walter, you appreciated the gentle way he eased into the scene. But you wanted a little more…mystery? Suspense? apprehension this time. The front desk clerk told you your host's name was Sy, and sent you down to a lower level of the hotel. The only key he provided was the code you punched into the elevator number pad to allow you to press L3. 

When the doors opened, you entered a small, rustic room with a hard dirt ground and cool stone walls. You only saw one other door besides the elevator you just stepped through and your mind did some mental gymnastics. Was that the exit to the maze or a bathroom? If it was the bathroom, where was the maze?

A few benches were scattered around and sitting on one was the Offering Tray you purchased, along with a note telling you to dress or undress to your level of comfort and step out into the hall through the door opposite the elevator when you were ready. Okay, door to maze then. But your nervous pee sensation was building. Where was the bathroom???

You knew the elevator was locked after you exited the car, but the note also contained the return code you were welcome to use any time, even before your reservation was over. And the note also revealed the secret to locating the washroom around the corner of one of the walls that you now noticed didn’t quite reach the next wall, causing a little optical illusion that the room was a simple square with no other space. Clever. It reminded you of a scene from a fantasy movie you’d seen when you were younger.

You peed and then undressed for a quick rinse in the surprisingly warm shower. You had imagined the temperature of the liquid streaming over the mini waterfall in this rock room would be ice cold, but it was as if the water was heated to a constant, perfect temperature from a thermal spring. The floors were warm on your bare feet too. You almost had to tear yourself away. There was a fantasy to be had.

You hung your street clothes on the garment hooks and pulled your red cape from your bag. You had researched a few different costume options and came across a clever way to fashion a toga of sorts from the material, albeit a slutty red toga with a giant slit up one thigh. You didn’t bother with underwear this time either. After one last look in the mirror to make sure your nerves weren’t showing too badly, you gathered up the offering of cured meat and stepped into the hall.

The rough hewn stone walls were at least three feet higher than the room you’d just exited. You noticed shelves jutting out occasionally at various heights and made a mental note not to run into them. Not that you planned on running. The ground was soft and sandy, rather than hard packed earth. Even in bare feet, this was going to make running hard. Again, not that you’d planned on running. 

Now, which direction? Left was always your gut instinct so you followed the path in that direction, choosing a left turn anytime you came to an intersection. After dead-ending twice in about five minutes, you began to rethink your approach. While you figured it had be wise to build in some extra time to find your treasure, you didn’t want to spend four hours in a fucking maze alone. 

As soon as you made the next right, the air shifted. The hairs on the back of your neck stood at attention and a ripple of goosebumps grew up on both arms. You made a few more turns before you began to hear snorts and huffs in the distance. For a moment, you froze, unsure if you wanted to move toward or away from the beast. Not because you didn’t want to meet the beast. But only because you truly couldn’t decide how. Sneak up and surprise him? Or let him chase you?

A new roar announced he was getting closer and you made a snap decision to turn away. Let him find me.

You maybe delayed the introduction by a few minutes. He was adept and clearly knew this maze inside and out while you were still trying to find your footing. You were just about to turn a corner that looked surprisingly familiar when you felt a rumble and the sand shift beneath your feet before you heard a snort and few stamps on the ground.

“Turn around.” Though a command, it came out like a question and you knew this was yet another opportunity for you to provide your consent to the game. Keep walking forward and it would all be over. As a matter of fact, you were convinced your next step forward would take you to the hall where the door to your changing room was. Your turn was deliberate. So was the flash as the cape swished around your legs and settled back into place. Give him a show, you smiled inwardly to yourself, before you wiped that grin right off the face in your mind and dropped your jaw instead.

Before you stood a monster of a man/beast, which explained the rumbling of the ground. You noticed the hooves which explained the stamping sound. As you drew your eyes up his solid and thick legs, you were a little disappointed to see he was wearing a heavy pleated leather skirt which hid any hint of what might be hanging underneath. His biceps bulged and thick veins trailed down each forearm. His chest was broad and teeming with unbridled strength, bare and full of the fur you were hoping to find.

Walter wasn’t the first hairy man you’d been with, but he definitely made you appreciate it more and this beast sported a similar amount. As your gaze met his, you took in the visage of a bull’s head, noticing the ring you expected to see in his nose was not there, but the horns near his ears were. They were massive as well and you had plans.

“Who dares enter my labyrinth?” he demanded as he sauntered ever closer to you. “What little bird has been flitting through these halls?”

You gave your name as you held out the tray in front of you, but he simply stood before you, motionless, save his eyes which roamed over every inch of you. When he returned his gaze to yours, he cocked his head to one side.

“And what am I supposed to do with this?” he roared, obviously unsatisfied with the tray of meat. Did the hotel make a mistake? “Maybe you’re playing a game with me? Is that it? Interrupt my peaceful solitude and taunt me with a delectable offering only to hide it behind a curtain of fabric and an offensive tray of inferior flesh?”

“I … I didn’t know… I didn’t think…” you stammered. Your heart was beating furiously, though he hadn’t taken another step toward you and you weren’t exactly trapped. You were more convinced than ever that if you wanted to escape, the entry room and the elevator were just around the corner. He was giving you time to acclimate to your decision to stay, making sure you weren’t having second thoughts. Though he commanded this hall in this maze, he was letting you call the next shot and you knew you were in no danger. Well, none that you didn’t want.

You set the tray on a ledge nearby, and grabbed fistfuls of your robe in both hands, lifting the material enough to give you the feeling of freedom around your lower legs. Just in case. Not that you were planning on running.

“In this labyrinth, the offerings are usually a little more respectful. Would you like to try your offering again?” Something about his words, the way he cocked his head again, the subtle pawing at the ground, as if he was about to rear up. He wanted you to. 

You licked your lips, and nodded. Took one more beat. Then turned and ran. Past the door to the changing room, up the hall to the right, left down the next corridor, then right again. Left. Left. Left. Right. For a moment you imagined he wasn’t right on your tail and then you hit a dead end and he descended on you as you turned to try to escape the hall thinking you might have enough time to head in another direction. Well, around you really. His arms caged you against the wall behind you.

He was so close. His musk was intoxicating and the scent added a little more fuel to the fire already burning in your loins. You peered up into his eyes, which you now noticed weren’t jet black, but rather a deep, dark azure. 

“That’s better,” he chuckled. “The offering is always sweeter after a little vigorous activity.”

“I’m so sorry,” you spoke. "I had no idea the offering I was given wouldn't be to your satisfaction. I should have anticipated better for a creature who commands such obedience and reverence as you."

“The tray isn’t the offering, little bird,” he huffed near your ear as you felt a hand drop from the wall beside you to your shoulder and then down to the pivotal point on your costume. One little tug, and, yep, there it went. The makeshift dressing had held up surprisingly well on the chase, but it was designed to come off easily and that it did. He made an approving sound, tracing a finger over one breast and down the valley between both, nearing your apex before he dragged the back of that hand up your belly and around your waist, ending with a firm grip on the meat of your hips.

“What…what is the offering?” you asked, with feigned timidity, as if you didn’t know what he meant. His arms moved to circle your waist and his hands slid to the creases beneath both now bare cheeks.

"I'll take this peach instead," he snorted with what you perceived to be a wink and a grin. He jiggled the flesh of your ass and grinned wider as he caught the moan of pleasure you tried to suppress. "You don’t need to fight it little bird. This is why you're here. To let go of inhibitions and feel free to express your feelings and desires with no judgment. If you like someone paying attention to this luscious cake, you shouldn't have to feel like you have to hide it."

The exchange felt a little out of character for the scene, but you didn’t mind. The chase was fun, but it was going to be even better finding out how this man would take care of your needs. So you let him know.

"Fuck. It feels good to have you touch it. Most men just go straight for the pussy and ignore the pleasure I get from the tease, the idea of you..." you trailed off, uncertain if you wanted to broach that subject here.

"Oh, it's just an idea, huh? Nothing you want to try? Isn't that why you're here?"

You thought about Walter and wondered if Sy was as well endowed under the fabric covering his loins. Surely the beasts at this hotel were all inordinately adept at providing pleasure; that was after all the entire theme. And maybe there were other ways to pleasure a person, and maybe this hotel had them too, but you couldn’t begin to imagine that the size of Sy’s cock wasn’t proportionate to his stature. You weren't quite ready to feel that in your ass.

"It's alright, little bird. We're here for whatever you'd like,” he answered without you even saying a word.

“Can I call you Sy?” you asked, unsure how committed to the bit he’d be.

“Of course, darlin’.” That was an odd Texas drawl that had just overridden the previous enigmatic accent you assumed was meant to convey ancient Greece. He kept the twang when he saw your surprised eyebrow quirk. “We can take this play anywhere you want to go. Though I’m going to make one choice for us.”

He bent to scoop you into his arms, cradling your legs and back as he held you against his chest. You could feel his heart pounding and wondered if he could feel yours, too. You took some slow deep breaths to try to calm yourself.

For a brief moment, you nestled your head against his neck, relishing the feel of the fur against your cheek. Then you turned your head to pay attention to where he was taking you. You figured you would need to make your way out of this maze alone after being well and thoroughly fucked and somehow you imagined you'd still have enough brain cells to remember the path he was taking.

But Sy wasn’t going backwards to any open hall. Instead he was making his way directly into what you took for a dead end. Before he crushed you against the wall, as you were sure he was about to do, Sy stepped through the wall. Sort of. Through another optical illusion that proved the dead end was actually a T intersection.

Sy took the left branch and in a few short strides, you found yourself in a room filled oddly with accouterments of pleasure. A platform bed covered in softness in the middle of the space was an inviting contrast to the sandstone walls you'd acclimated to. In a few spaces, what appeared to be fur rugs hung against the walls. Straight ahead, covered in dozens of warm glowing candles illuminating the room along with hanging oil lamp pendants, sat a wooden altar. Bowls draped with mounds of luscious looking fruit and plates of cured meats and cheeses were nestled in between the candle holders.

As you looked around, you noticed no other entrance to the room, though you kept missing the non-obvious openings, so who knew? The markings on the wall and other accompanying furnishings led you to believe you were not just in some other hall of the maze. You were now in Sy's sanctuary. You’d found, or rather Sy was going to show you, the treasure at the middle of the maze. 

Sy set you on your feet and stepped back, as if judging your temperature again. 

“Is this where I meet my fate, then?” you asked, with a shy smile.

“You’ll die a thousand little deaths in here,” he promised, returning to the previous accent, and you noticed now a tail swishing behind him. You hadn’t seen that before, but it seemed…excited.

“Sounds amazing.”

With that he rushed you as if you still held the red cape as a target. In what felt like one fell swoop, he bent to capture your hips and swing you forward over his shoulder as he turned and took a few steps toward a fur-lined spot along a wall and none of those movements jostled or startled you. It was as if he was picking up a piece of cloth, the ease with which he maneuvered you and held you stable so nothing hurt. Not his fingers in your hips, not your hips over his shoulder, not your back as he held you captive, pressed against the wall of the hidden sanctuary.

“Walter said you smelled delicious and tasted even better,” Sy huffed with hunger.

Did they talk amongst one another? That hardly seemed ethical. And yet, you’d gossipped and dished about this place and the man you’d met previously. Why would you assume he wouldn’t do the same?

“So that’s the first thing we’ll take care of here,” he continued as he dug his massive thigh into the moist heat between your legs and huffed breath onto your neck. His hands traced the length of your body, down both sides, over your belly, onto the sensitive skin of your inner thighs.

In a heartbeat, he had you off the ground, legs spread wide as he continued to trap you against the wall. You tried to hold onto his beefy shoulders for stability, but soon realized he wasn't done lifting you up as you lost purchase.

You were sure you'd be tumbling forward onto the sandy ground in front of you as soon as you cleared another foot of his body, but somehow you remained upright. Well, ‘somehow’ was known but you were still amazed at the raw strength and power Sy possessed to hold you aloft and continue to elevate your body.

With one final shrug, he had your naked form where he wanted it. Legs over shoulders and pussy right at his face waiting to be devoured. You'd had men, including Walter, in between your legs before. A few times when you were upright, and that always put a nice checkmark next to their names in your book. But never while hoisted six feet in the air.

The thick swath of muscle that ascended through your folds filled you with a warmth you had been craving for weeks. Sy somehow managed to manipulate the shape as well, so that he alternated between targeted tight circles with a tip and wide saliva drenched passes that were soon mingling with your own juices.

You had the distinct impression that the wall behind you was for your benefit only. A way to make you more comfortable and secure in the knowledge that he wouldn't let you fall while he was feasting at the altar of your thighs. That he had the ability to hold you upright all on his own while he ate you out.

He made you come at least three times with your back arched against the wall and crying out for relief as you pressed into his head to hold yourself steady, even while he supported you with a hand cradling your ass and another secure against your side. You had wanted to grab his horns, but something told you to stop and wait until you could ask permission. It didn’t seem polite to just grab at them without warning.

“Please, Sy. Please fuck me now,” you pleaded and he skillfully obliged, though he took his sweet time getting there.

He took a few more licks, sucking in the moisture dripping from your pussy before he began to ease your legs off his shoulders, down his body, and around his waist. He settled you there while he reached back to unhook his skirt and drop it to the ground. Then he knelt, still holding you against the wall, and shifted your legs down to rest on his thighs. This gave you an opportunity to peek down and see what he was working with, and not that you were at all surprised but it was still a bit of shock.

A strap of leather remained wrapped around his waist, traveling down both sides of his Orion's belt with the ends connected to a ring that sat stuffed behind his cock. While you contemplated just how long it would let him last, he worked an especially large condom onto his massive member, drifting a knuckle through your folds at every opportunity, given the proximity. He grunted and grinned each time you rolled your hips against his fingers, eagerly seeking more pressure, more depth, more everything.

“Patience, little bird. We’ll get there soon enough,” he warned as he finished affixing the rubber. You watched rapt as he held himself firm in one hand, tugging with the same languid pace he also used to trail his fingers from the other hand around your entrance, flicking at the hidden pearl up top and pressing his thumb deep inside you. It was killing you, but this was not one of the little deaths he had promised and you contemplated telling him so. 

As if he could tell just how impatient you were becoming, he finally spread your puffy lips wide and began to nudge the tip of his cock at your soaking entrance. A gasp was all you could manage as he moved to standing at the same time, easing your legs back up around his waist again.

Sy moved into you inch by glorious inch, pausing every so often to make sure you were comfortable. It was certainly not something you were accustomed to, but the feeling was familiar and you knew now he was at least as large as Walter. This was going to be fun. When he was almost seated you asked.

“Sy?”

“Yes, little bird?”

“May I touch them? Hold … hold onto them?”

“Yes, little bird, you may.”

You used the leverage of your grip to drive your hips down the rest of the way onto his colossal cock and willed your inner walls to ease around him. A heat filled you, a desire to grind against him, but he stilled you. Made you sit with the enormity of the situation for a moment while he palmed a breast, rolled a nipple.

“Please, Sy, please. I want you to move. I want you to fuck me into this wall. Please.”

He didn’t make you beg another time. He was slamming into you and somehow rotating his hips in such a way that you felt him in every muscle and nerve in your body. It felt electric and vibrant and you wanted to explode. Sy let you. Fucked you right through it and into the midst of a second one before you could open your eyes again. 

You were grinding against him, pulling your body up and pushing back down using his horns to guide you and you were coming hard around him again. His laugh was infectious and you let one out with the third little death in this position. 

Suddenly, he spun you away from the wall. For a moment you thought he was heading for the bed, but he lifted you off his cock, then turned you around. He held you against his chest with one arm around your waist as his other hand guided his throbbing member into you once again.

You threw your arms behind you to grasp at his neck as if you needed to somehow participate in keeping yourself steady against him, but he could handle you all on his own. He had your legs splayed wide, an arm under each knee, and he drove up into you as if it was nothing. And while you didn’t need to, you absolutely wanted to slip your hands up a little higher, off his neck, over the back of his head and right back onto those epic horns. 

You smoothed your fingers over the bone, into the curl, and held on. It could have been your imagination, but his grunts and snorts seemed to magnify as you did so. Maybe he really liked it? Before you had a chance to consider dragging your fingers along the form again, he hit you with another deep wave of pleasure that had your eyes rolling back into your head as you slumped against him.

And it was like he knew how much more you had in you, because he just kept fucking you right back into consciousness, at which point you did gather your wits and give his horns a few more sensual strokes. It was his groan that told you he was close and you were helping him along. It only took a few more thrusts before you were coming hard around his dick and it seemed like he was letting loose with a roar, too.

He eased his phallus out of your sweaty, quivering body and moved forward to deposit you on the bed, admonishing you to stay put before he disappeared behind another secret wall. You heard water rushing and the sound began to lull you into a light sleep that only the warm, wet cloth pulled you out of.

“Don’t open your eyes just yet,” he spoke, his voice a little less gruff than before.

“I was promised a thousand little deaths,” you teased, unable to move your eyelids or anything else for that matter. His laughter lifted your heart.

“Oh, you want more? Looks like you’d scatter in the wind like a dandelion if I put my cock in you one more time.”

“I wish you weren’t right,” you joined him with a light laugh of your own. “Maybe if I could get a little nap…”

“Unfortunately, time has been flyin’ while we’ve been having fun. Don’t think you’ve got enough left for that.”

You peeled your eyes open, curious about his statement. You hadn’t meant to imply he should give you more time and you were embarrassed that he might think you were being pushy, demanding. You were not prepared for the sight of the man in front of you.

Where Walter’s shift had given him just a little extra height and bulk, not that he needed it to maneuver you around the room, Sy’s return to human form was dramatic. And not that he wasn’t massive in his own right, but the size of the beast that had just fucked you senseless was even more apparent comparatively. You could see he was solid, tree trunks for thighs and branches for arms. His shoulders were wide, chest broad. All the things you’d noticed of the bull, but just scaled down. And still incredibly daunting. 

“S’okay I shifted back?” he asked with concern.

“Of course, whatever you… I mean, this is all so new to me. I have no idea what’s allowed. And how much time…” Was what you were thinking about within bounds? “Has it really only been almost four hours? How much time is left? I think I assumed…”

Sy gave another chuckle as you trailed off.

“Yeah, he musta really liked you from the get go.” At your quizzical gaze, Sy continued. “We don’t all have that gift. Walt’s one of the few. And he uses it sparingly. It’s not really a sanctioned hotel offering. If everyone could and did, we’d get nothing but two-hour bookings.”

“Oh, I didn’t mean to… I mean, I hope that didn’t sound like I was demanding any special treatment or anything.”

“You honestly still don’t look like you have enough strength left to demand a deep breath,” Sy teased. “Here, lemme give you a hand. We’ll get you cleaned up for real.”

He scooped you off the bed and carried you into the bathroom, outfitted similarly to the entry room. He placed you gently under the warm, rushing waterfall before sudsing you up with a shower gel that smelled surprisingly like something you already owned. You watched as his hands slid over your body, easing the soap down your legs and guiding the water to rinse you off. 

“Sy,” you began, wondering if you should even bring it up, but as he stood to grab a towel for you, the shape you thought you’d seen as he washed you was even more apparent. “Is it allowed? Do we have time … Can I…help you with this?”

You reached for him, circling a hand around his obvious erection and tugging gently. His eyes closed slowly as he dropped his head back with a deep sigh, before he wrapped his arms around you and drew you to him. He put a palm against your cheek and tilted your head to train his beautiful blue eyes on yours as he spoke.

“It’s technically not allowed.” Your heart sank at his words. “But Imma make it good for you one last time anyway.” 

You let the towel drop to the floor as he lifted you to move back out to the bed. He set you down and you watched him climb onto the mattress, expecting him to grab a condom and crawl over you, or flip you over. When he settled himself between your legs, it wasn’t his cock that penetrated you. Sy put his mouth over your pussy again and the moan that escaped his throat had enough vibration you were sure you could come from that alone.

He was better. He was unbelievably better than Walter at this. It wasn’t something you were particularly proud to be thinking, but truth was where you found it and this was the truth. Sy was skilled and all the tricks he used in Minotaur form, he used here as well. You were squirming within moments, grinding up into his face and grabbing onto his freshly shaved head to help keep him where he’d do the most damage in the quickest amount of time. Not that he needed your help, because he was fucking good at this. He knew how to use his tongue and lips and, yes, teeth, gently, and yes fingers, deep and deft. And if you weren’t mistaken, he was squirming, too. 

You could see his ass wiggling and humping into the bed and if you weren’t losing your own damn mind you’d have noticed his hips stuttering as he came into the mattress right around the time his fingers landed back on the spot that, in combination with the movement of his tongue, had you screaming his name.

He let you linger in bed a moment, catching your breath while he slipped on a pair of white, slouchy linen pants before he held out his hand to help you off the bed. 

“Here,” he pulled the sheet around you with a soft chuckle and a grin. “This’ll be more comfortable than traipsing back to the elevator naked. I’ll show you the way.”

Sy led you back to the entry room, stopping along the way for a small detour to find your discarded cloak down the dead end hall. You swapped material with him as he deposited you outside the changing room and wished you a wonderful day.

“Come back and see us again, sometime. It was a pleasure,” he tilted his head at you as you stepped backwards into the room.

“The pleasure was all mine,” you replied.

“Don’t be too sure about that, now.”

Bonus Edit: Absolutely GORGEOUS headers made for me by my wonderful friend in fic @geralts-yenn:

Everything HC Taglist: (as always, let me know if you want on or off)

@sillyrabbit81 @mayloma @geralts-yenn @raccoon-eyed-rebel @fvckinghenrycavill @kebabgirl67 @beck07990 @itsrubberbisquit @sweetdreamsofgelato @liveoncoffeeandflowersss @alexakeyloveloki @marantha @aireraume @angelmather1 @lizzystuffsthings @enchantedbytomandhenry @omgkatinka @littlefreya @avengersfan25 @just-chirpin @thesaucynomad @valacirca @henryownsme @summersong69 @foxyjwls007 @peyton-warren

Special tag: @kittenofdoomage (cause sometimes you love my stuff and this one's another monster fucker lol!)

Tags from Werewolf!walter (if you commented):

@ellethespaceunicorn @juliaorpll78 @martha-oi @cardierreh15 @cinnamoroll-things @caramariehurst @zombicupcake3 @openup-yourmind @shellyshellshell @nickfowlerrr @greensleeves888 @misshinson @thelastsock @princessaxoo @augustsprincess @justjulie1105 @minimin1993 if you asked and aren't here, Tumblr won’t let me tag you. Sorry!

[apomaro-mellow]

For Steddie bingo, “Eddie Caused Steve’s Gay Awaking ™️” I adore a good “Oh. Oh” moment we’re Steve’s brain just glitches bc of Eddie

Have a bit of post s4 recovery as well!

"You know he doesn't look half bad when he's asleep like this", Steve commented like it was a totally normal thing to say about a guy friend currently in a hospital bed.

Clearly it wasn't because Dustin AND Robin were looking at him like he'd grown a second head.

"You know what I mean, all peaceful and junk. I don't think I've ever seen him like...like this, you know?"

"Yeah, I know", Dustin said. "He never sat still, even when things were fine."

He could have just left it at that, but Steve couldn't leave it alone. Why did Eddie's sleeping face get that reaction from him? Steve remembered being around guy friends while they slept. He never had any thoughts deeper than hoping they didn't drool. He'd seen Dustin sleeping and while he thought he looked deceptively cherubic while unconscious, it was like watching a baby sleep. Cute, when they weren't shouting at the top of their lungs.

Eddie being awake wasn't much better. Well-it was, given the alternative was death by gut injuries. But every time he opened his eyes, Steve let out a relieved breath and got to watch him slowly return to the world of the waking and wished he could spare Eddie a few more precious moments where he was blissfully unaware of the world outside that still wanted to kill him.

Hm.

Hmmm.

There was something really familiar about it all that he couldn't put his finger on. One day, when he came to the hospital to visit Eddie, he got an idea, making sure to close the door behind himself.

"Hey, uh, mind if I lay down with you?", Steve asked.

"You don't mind laying in bed with a freak?", Eddie asked.

"Come on man, I didn't get a lot of sleep", he lied. "Plus, you know you're like the fifth freakiest person I know."

"Fifth?", Eddie gasped. "I should lick your elbow for that", he threatened, but scooched anyway and lied on his side. There really wasn't a ton of room on the bed, but on their sides, they were just barely able to squeeze in together. Steve let out a breath as he got comfortable and imagined waking up like this, next to one of his many dates. Except this time, it was Eddie's face who greeted him after a night together.

Instantly, he felt the urge to reach out and stroke his hair, to kiss him awake, to coax him from sleep softly and whisper a promise of 'next time'. And the idea of doing so with a man wasn't a deterrent at all.

Well, that was new.

"What's going on under all that hair Harrington?", Eddie asked softly.

"Are you doing anything later?"

Eddie snickered. "Got a hot date with a catheter later."

"And after that?"

"Careful Stevie, it almost sounds like you're asking me out."

"And if I am?", Steve asked, eyes hopeful.

Eddie searched them for any signs of deceit. Because Steve Harrington couldn't be lying next to him, asking him out right now.

"I'd say....that Iiiiii, I guess I'll have to call the catheter and cancel."

Steve smiled. "I was hoping you'd say that."

Steddie bingo under the cut.

I just realized I technically have bingo but yall are more than welcome to keep sending me prompts until i fill up the whole card LOL

[yuri-is-online]

Hello Yuri!! Congrats on 500 followers!! You deserve it, your writing is amazing and makes me so happy whenever you post something new! (・∀・)

If it’s alright, could I request Ace Trappola, Ruggie Bucchi and Cater Diamond with prompt four if that’s okay? About the reader meeting someone at the ball and ranting to the boys about them.

Thank you so much in advance, and congratulations again!! ☆〜（ゝ。∂）

4. You met someone really wonderful at the Masquerade Ball and have been ranting about how he was totally the love of your life to your abnormally quiet friend. Actually, wasn't he invited too? Maybe you should ask him how that went.

Hello Rhea! It's always a pleasure to see you in my notifications, though you did give me a bit of whiplash with how fast this request came in (;ﾞ°´ω°´) It makes me very happy to hear I have managed to make you happy, I hope you like this post too. Also thank you very much for the kind words, they made me feel much better.

notes: they/them pronouns used for Yuu, I know the prompt says "quiet" but these three are sort of the chatty type so it's more like dodging the question (sorry), the other event requests can be found on my masterlist here. There's a movie reference hidden here (kind of) that if someone gets I'll probably scream idk.

Ace

There is a god in some sort of heaven and he hates Ace Trappola. Well maybe not a god, maybe it's just Riddle, and he certainly doesn't hate him, Ace is just being dramatic. But there has to be some sort of rule Riddle is breaking here, seriously what beacon of morals and etiquette sits pretending to sip tea while obviously eve's dropping on what should be a terribly private conversation. It's a nightmare made substantially worse by just how long he has been wanting to have this talk.

"Honestly I wasn't expecting to have so much fun, I thought Crowley was just going to put on a cheap tacky formal, not an actual ball with proper costumes." You feel light headed with joy for a change, technically half of the things you've experienced in this world you never would have in yours but a real, fancy Masquerade somehow felt more surreal than the overblots or flying brooms. Maybe it was because you had seen pictures of real ball costumes and masks that made it feel more tangible, like this was something you really were meant to be a part of.

"The costuming was indeed very impressive." Riddle swirls his cup just gently enough to avoid spilling his precious tea whilst making sure to pour Ace's all over the Heartslabyul lounge. "I was surprised at how impossible it was to tell who was who."

"I know! That's the whole problem." You practically jump up from the couch, before remembering yourself and settling down again. Ace notices you still move subconsciously closer to him, even if your silly head doesn't know just who he is. Or would it be was?

"Is it really?" Ace really wishes you weren't so used to ignoring his whining. "The entire point of a Masquerade is to be anonymous, isn't that why you and Deuce thought it was 'romantic.'" He had wanted to have this talk in Ramshackle where it was guaranteed to be private- scratch that he wanted to have it last night while he was trying to imagine what your eyes looked like under your mask. What they would look like if he moved his aside and just said what he was trying to for once instead of flirting more with the subtext than you.

"Well yeah I guess." You mumble. Your chest has been tied up in funny knots and Ace's unenthusiastic tone isn't helping with the pain. "But it's driving me insane to think I could have met my soul mate and all I know about him is that he makes a really attractive clown." Riddle chokes, tea cup clanking onto it's saucer as he politely tries to pass off his laugh as a cough. "Well not just that..." you mumble, closing your eyes to conjure up the memory of the jester who had produced a rose from behind your ear and insisted on leaving it there for luck.

"What sort of luck?" He held onto the rose just a second too long for your poor heart to bear, you swear he could feel it if he pressed his fingers that much closer to your pulse point.

"Well mine of course, how else am I supposed to find you when this is over." It's odd not to see the man's lips, your heart tells you it suspects he's smiling but it won't confirm it.

"That's not luck!" You laugh. "That's cheating!" He shrugs, as if to say he knows, that's the whole point. As if to say it's worth it to break the rules where you're concerned. It's daring, the way he holds you as you dance, the way your heart is screaming for you to just-

"I should have kissed him." You groan, remembering how Grim had charged in between you and your date screaming about how he'd never approve or something dumb like that. Just who did he think he was anyway?

"Well then why don't you!" Ace cringes as he says it, neck beet red as you go to sass him back before the oddly serious nature of his tone and the implication of his syntax force you to stop. Riddle's exit barely registers as you stare each other down, Ace from the corner of his eye and you with the full force you can gather.

"Would you have let me?" You whisper. A familiar touch lights just behind your ear, pressing in this time to trace the speed of your heartbeat.

"Only one way to find out, prefect." You expect him to run. Make some sort of joke about how he was pranking you, or say kissing before marriage being against the rules. But he doesn't. He waits, perhaps in the way he has been since the first night he showed up at Ramshackle, collared and crabby, just waiting for you to close the gap.

And embrace you as you fall.

Ruggie

Ramshackle was closer to the main castle than Savanaclaw. That was the excuse Ruggie had used to get you to agree to let him crash there, in his mind anyway. Really, all he had needed to do was ask, but you know that's not exactly how he works. Your relationship has always been a series of scratches, offers of give and take that tend to be minor but offer just enough of a technicality for true feelings to remain hidden just out of sight. That doesn't change how surreal it is to see him here so late, or the sharp contrast between all the stiff collars and plaster faces you both had been drowning in just a moment ago and the worn gym clothes you both wear for pajamas.

"Man I'm beat." Ruggie says, sinking into the couch. You aren't in much better shape, if he wasn't taking up a part of it you would be sprawled face down across the length the couch. Instead, you satisfy yourself with curling up into the far corner. You have a dreamy smile on your face, content like how he usually looks when he eats a large meal, or when he thinks you aren't looking.

"I think I found your soul mate hanging around the buffet tables tonight." You lazily tease, tracing nonsensical shapes on the floor to amuse the nervous energy from your earlier encounter.

"Oh yeah?" Ruggie sounds vaguely intrigued, but he doesn't move much. If anything he settles his neck more firmly into the sofa back, eyes intentionally trained on the ceiling. "What makes you say that?"

"He was stealing all the apple fritters." You say, dreamy smile widening when Ruggie snorts. "Too bad I intend on stealing him from you."

"Do you now." He murmurs, head tilting back down into his palm. He rests his elbow on his knee, but he doesn't look at you, not immediately. Your well into your little rant before he does.

"Well at first I was just going to steal the food-" that was the whole reason he had wanted to stay here, the two of you had hatched a plan weeks ago to smuggle in some containers and smuggle out as much food from the banquet hall as possible and it just made more sense to take it to Ramshackle "but he offered to give it to me so long as I danced with him." There is a container of said fritters in between you both, sticky with caramelized sugar and a good reminder of just how expensive the Masquerade Ball must have been to throw. It's odd to have food last so long in Ramshackle, odder still with Ruggie so close.

"Nice try." You said. "But you won't trick me like that. My friend trained me well and I need to bring those back to him."

"Are you sure about that?" The man's voice is muffled by his mask, white plaster forming three faces obscuring any meaningful detail of his real looks. He's radiant, something about the way he's managing to thread the needle through the crowd despite his exaggerated mask is holding all your attention despite Ruggie's warnings. You're supposed to be competing to see who would bring the most food home, but instead you're dancing in the arms of someone else, laughing as he kisses your hand when he dips you in tune with the song. "Your friend is missing out, I have the best tasting thing in the ballroom right here."

"I'm sorry I was so distracted I only managed to snag a couple things. Did you get anything good?" You roll out of the corner closer to the center, just out of his reach but oh so obtainable.

"Nope~" he says, letting the word pop and looking away with more shame than you have seen on his face... ever now that you think about it. "I uhh. I may have... also.. gotten distracted." Both of you look at the single container of apple fritters, suddenly very much aware that neither of you actually brought anything else back to your dorm.

"Laugh with me." You try to protest but Ruggie has both your fingers up to your lips, his trademark smirk looks good on you, he wishes he could take a picture. "Embarrassed prefect? You shouldn't be so worried, I told you how I felt didn't I?"

"But you don't know how I taste!" You manage to wail and he finally cracks, shaking with laughter and letting you curl your blanket around you in a ball of embarrement. You stay like that for a good long while, trying to beat down the smile that twitches at the corner of your mouth until Ruggie reaches over to unwrap you casing and pull your head into his lap.

"Well then, maybe you should let me test you." He's wrong you think as your lips meet, Ruggie has got to taste much sweeter.

Cater

"Well someone looks like they had fun last night~" Cater says and you giggle in response. He allows himself to pause before he continues, Cater really hates the sound of his own voice. How anyone can stand him is beyond him, and he knows the conversation he's about to have has a pretty good chance- no.

It's going to destroy the carefully built illusion he's woven around your "friendship" even if you react positively. Losing you would be painful, but keeping you in the dark would be even worse. He has to play this smart, play you correctly so he can try and keep your eyes with him even if they only look at the superficial face he wears.

Yes, Cater has to play you carefully, but he is off to a bad start. You know before he sits down that something is wrong, it's written all over his face sewn into his unwashed hair and dark circles under his eyes.

"I want to say 'you too' but honestly you look exhausted Cater, you sure you want to be awake right now?" You don't want to press him in case that makes him run, but you also know Cater a bit better than he wants to acknowledge. You don't really think the bit of yourself you have to share will help soothe him, but he goes along with his script anyway.

"Seriously, you worry too much!" He can't say about me because he wants your worries, and he knows that denial would crack his mask. "Besides I've just been dying to hear about the dance, you seemed really excited to go!" There's a sparkle in your eyes, a flush to your cheeks that he desperately wishes he had put there.

"It went well." That’s all you can bring yourself to say as your hands go to fiddle absent mindedly with the sleeves of your blazer.

"That's good?" He tries to poke at the topic but you don't go further. "Or was is it not good and you just don't want to think about it?"

"No! No it's just. I met someone. Or I think I did anyway." Cater blinks. Once. Twice. Three times just for luck because he knows, or at least he thinks he knows, that he was the only one with you all night. What you're saying just can't be right, there's no way you didn't know it was him all night. "He was just so easy to talk to! I completely lost track of time and didn't meet up with anyone else..." Your little embarrassed smile confirms it, you didn't know. He laughs.

"Sorry," he doesn't mean that "you're just too cute Yuu." He pulls his phone from his pocket as you desperately stutter.

"Look I'm really sorry I know I said I'd look for you, Riddle, and Trey but I was just... I don't know, moonstruck?" He laughs more, practically chokes as he quickly types an apology to Trey and savors your embarrassment just a moment longer.

"Don't you mean starstruck?" He teases and you suddenly find a bit of your fight back and fiercely shake your head.

"No way! That's for famous people. Moonstruck is for when you're overcome with ridiculous love for someone even if you don't know them." You pout and Cater looks at his phone, not to do anything really just to center himself and his thoughts. He has a choice to make, and he doesn't know where either path will go.

"Are you alright?" Cater should have known you would find him, there should be something scary with how unconsciously in tune with him you are. He doesn't say anything, but that doesn't seem to discourage you. You settle yourself next to him, sitting quietly keeping him company until he's ready to speak.

"It's all just a bit too much." He gestures vaguely at the room, uncertain why he's decided to speak about this now and not run from it. "Everyone's here wearing masks and hiding themselves like it's a fun thing to do."

"It can be." You say calmly. "But always dressing like this would be a lot." You look over the crowd with the stranger, the conversation lulls, and you try to examine the man's costume for a hint of what might be best to say. "You know," your voice is uncertain, but the words that come to you aren't ones you don't believe in, "everyone wears a mask sometimes, especially when they're afraid or lonely." The man says nothing, but something about the way he sits suggests you still have his attention. "You're not obligated to remove those masks for anyone, it has to be done when you are ready to accept the consequences of how other people will see you."

Cater isn't ready. He somehow doubts he ever will be. He wishes there was a way to confess this with a guarantee that the consequences won't burn him.

"You weren't the only one moonstruck." You look hopeful almost, exactly like you did when you'd pulled him from his corner to dance. Exactly the same as when you had when he had teasingly pulled your mask aside to kiss you, the same cute look he would never be sorry to see on your face. "Say are you busy prefect? I think there's something I need to tell you."

[lowkeyrobin]

Hiiii! i love ur writing and was wondering if u could do Tommy, Quackity, Niki, Charlie, and Philza with an s/o (close friend for Phil) who is in a riot grrrl band???

stuff like this:

HAVE A NICE DAY/MORNING/NIGHT:]]]

oooo okay!! I can definitely try! I don't listen to many riot bands so excuse any weird stuff that doesn't totally make sense ; have a nice day/night to you too 🫶🫶🫶 ; made sure to make this as gn as possible for everyone so I apologize if it goes against the more feminine aspect of the genre/kinda ruins it 🙏

MCYT ; riot band

includes ; tommyinnit, quackity, nihachu, slimecicle, & philza

warnings ; language

y/b/n = your band name

y/f/n = your fandom name

masterlist

TOMMYINNIT

he loves your music

you're the heaviest band he listens to 🙏🙏 he does try and get into the genre more because he does actually enjoy your music

you're the lead singer for your band, so every time he hears your vocals, he gets all smiley, even in public, which he tries to hide

will make sure to attend every single one of your gigs and record the whole thing LMAO

if he's like the perfect distance away from the stage, you'll sneakily look at him to help your nerves and make it feel like he's the only one in the room

he helps you write lyrics as well/get inspo for new songs

"and it goes in a rythym like ba-dada-bum-ba-dada-bum, yknow?"

extra points if your band sounds a lot like Hole or Veruca Salt, bc he'd definitely have some of their songs on a playlist

casually your biggest fan, always reposting gig dates and playing your music on stream

leaving comments under picture posts on the band insta like "come back to brighton for my birthday please, I beg" and "its to early to be served perfection, wait a few hours :("

he doesn't always make sense but he's loving and absolutely loves your music dw

NIKI NIHACHU

she is the number one fan

she got your bands top listener and has over 15k minutes of listening time by the end of the year

you're lead guitar, so she's always interested in watching you play and how you move your hands and fingers to create such a cool sound

extra bonus points if your band uses that kind of echoey down to your soul feel, kinda like suicideboys or lil peep (best examples I got bc I'm not into this genre very much lmao)

always bringing you up in conversation as well

if anyone's looking for bands to listen to, you're a million percent the first she suggests

you show her new chords you wanna use or expand on and she just watches and listens so intently

always playing your music on chill streams and recommending her viewers to listen to your band, and always points out that its you playing lead guitar

"personally, I think you should be winning a Grammy this year"

"ehhh... MTV awards are better"

"I'm gonna go get you nominated for the MTV awards then, I'll be back"

"I don't think that's how it works!-"

ALEX QUACKITY

he mostly listens to stuff like victoria monet, the weeknd, childish gambino, sza, etc

but being dragged into the rabbit hole of riot bands expanded his music taste a lotttt

you're the lead singer of course (main character hours)

yk the clip of him on the qsmp and metro boomin randomly starts playing? that happens but with your band!

"whoops- I-I have no idea why the hell that started playing, sorry! the last thing I was listening to wasn't even y/b/n, the fuck?"

he gets all his close friends hooked on your music as well

bonus points if you get a more grunge kinda feel in there like foo fighters or nirvana

always posting pics of you from gigs or reposting pics of you/your band

and always leaving comments like "vocal lessons when?" and "gig near you ✅️ gig near me ❌️"

always roasting your music as a joke as well

"the blueprint 3, one album, solos y/b/n. sorry y/n"

"must I bring up-"

"nope!"

CHARLIE SLIMECICLE

he looks like the type of guy to secretly have a 200 song long playlist of punk music idk

you're the bassist, and he loves making you play shit on stream for him lmao

also loves reposting anything relating to you and your band, fanart, random rants about your music, gig dates, new music release dates, photos, etc

don't get him started on the edits

he'll randomly blurt out random noises and rythyms and boom, writers block gone, new song? made.

serious bonus points if you sound the slightest bit like joey valance & brae

you show him how to play bass a bit as well

always recording every gig, he's so proud of you, plus the lights make you look so good

always talking about you as well

"my partner is a bassist in a band, I think they solo all of you losers"

"Charlie what?? when were we talking about significant others?"

"since I said so, bitch!"

cue video game car crash

he has a little thing in the bottom of the stream screen with the album cover w a spinning record next to it, and on top is the song & band name. 80% of the time it's just your band

^he uses that during his stream starting soon segments, bathroom/snack breaks, or chill streams on the qsmp

PHILZA

he and kristen both love your music

he sees you like his kid so he's going the extra mile to support you all the time

from streaming your music in the car to reposting and posting about gig dates, new music and merch drops, etc etc

you even have your own little section in his Discord titled 'y/b/n chat' (and another for announcements about your band/notifs OK social media titled 'y/b/n announcements')

when spotify wrapped comes around, your his third most listened to artist, and kristen's second LMAO

"aweee thank you father, I appreciate your loyalty to y/f/n and the band 🫶"

always bringing up your music as well, especially when streaming with friends

"Tommy, did you listen to y/b/n's new song yet? I think you'd like it"

"wait wait hold on lemme pull it up"

he goes to a few of your gigs with kristen and he's just chilling in the back like a proud parent

you always find him and smile because he's there cheering you on

he's more of a dad than your actual dad bro

[myeagleexpert]

【ＨＥ　ＳＡＩＤ　ＴＨＡＴ　ＡＮＤ　Ｉ　ＷＯＮ＇Ｔ　ＦＯＲＧＥＴ　ＩＴ】

You know those important parts where you use the highlighter to highlight something important? So, my dear player, that's what we have here. Some interactions between the characters x yuu and the interactions between them that make me think a lot about the character they are!

Pt1: Heartslabul - Savanaclaw - Octavielle ( You're here!)

Pt2: Scarabia - Igynia - Pomefiore - Diasonia ( Loading...)

Wₕₐₜ ₐᵣₑ yₒᵤ dₒᵢₙg ₕₑᵣₑ? ₜₕₑ Qᵤₑₑₙ wᵢₗₗ cᵤₜ ₒff yₒᵤᵣ ₕₑₐd!

"Trey enthusiastically said he’s going to bake a strawberry tart for my birthday party. Make sure you come to eat some too. …Well, it not like it’s a Rule of the Queen of Hearts or anything"- Birtday Union

"Thank you for coming to celebrate my birthday. …Eh? You’ve hidden my present somewhere in the Heartslabyul dormitory? I see now. The answer to the riddle on this card must reveal the location of the present. Heh, you’ve sure come up with something rather interesting. Well, since you’ve gone through the trouble of planning this for me, I suppose I’ll just have to play along."- Birtday Union

"You are as energetic as ever today, I see. No, this isn’t any sort of rebuke. I truly do hope to see you enjoying my birthday party to the fullest."- Birthday Union

((he deserves to have more light and fun moments, and eat lots of strawberry pies))

"Don't worry, if you get lost, I'll come searching for you. I'm pretty used to looking after my siblings, so I'm sure I'll find you quickly."- Playfull Dress

"Thanks for celebrating my birthday. But I have to say, I wasn't expecting you to have my gift delivered to my dorm like that. You should have just handed it to me directly, since we were meeting up, anyway. Was I shocked? Well, yes... Ah, so it was supposed to be a surprise present! Haha, oh man. You're always finding ways to startle me."- Platinum Jacket

"Riddle’s got a pretty tight handle on everything, there’s not much for me to do as his Vice Dorm Leader. I’m basically just here as decoration." - Cerimonial Robes

"You want to take a picture of me? You’re the record keeper, so just do as you like. …It’s more nerve-wracking if you know you’re being watched, you know?"- Outdoor wear

"Oh, good timing. Help me carry these dishes. Of course, there’s some for you and grim too."- Outdoor Wear

"Hm, you want a scarf? Well... Oh, maybe if I ask Sam, he can lend you a spare one. Just wait a sec."- New Year Attire

"Do you have any plans for the winter this year? If not, what if you got a temp job at a cake shop...? Haha, I'm just kidding."- New Year Attire

((he's so big brother material, I love these little moments of him being so attentive))

"Amusement parks are so rad～! Why don't we take a selfie together right here at the gate? Think of it as the first of many to remember today!"- Playfull Dress

"Oh hey, think you'd want any popcorn? If so, tell me your favorite flavor. Your boy Cay-kun'll get it for you."- Playfull Dress

"Thanks for coming to celebrate my birthday! I’m super stoked! You’re gonna give me whatever I want for my birthday? Well, if you say that… it might make me want to ask for something huge. I’m kidding, don’t worry! How about we go skateboarding together? We can do some sweet tricks and post some pictures online!"- Birthday Union

" “#Birthday #NRCUnionJacket #SpecialMadeForCay-kun” …You know I totally gotta brag about today’s special outfit!"- Birthday Union

" Why are you looking at me like that while petting the tsum? You’re making Cay-kun feel so conflicted～"- Tsum Event

"Pfft, your hair is all over the place from all the wind. Sooo laaame… Eh, mine, too!?"- Playfull Dress

"The whole point of birthdays is definitely the presents. So what did you get your dearest friend Ace-kun, then?"- Birthday Bloom

"I’m good with not dating anyone yet. 'Sides, I’m already busy looking after you lot."-Suitor Suit

"A word of warning. Until I say it’s safe to, deeefinately don’t look up at the ceiling… Juuuust kidding! Haha, did that scare you?"- Halloween

"The basketball club's most promising rookie has arrived! You better not take your eyes off my fresh plays, 'kay?"- Club Wear ((He's a little shit, but I'd root for him in the front row))

"Practicing passes with Floyd is basically a matter of life and death. But that's 'cause he's always throwing them at breakneck speeds!"-Club Wear

"Hey, we should all play basketball together sometime soon. If we invite Deuce or whoever, we can probably get a 3-on-3 game goin'.-" Club Wear

"Are you going to come cheer for me at my next track meet? Then, I definitely can't do anything uncool. Just you wait and see how I do!"- Club wear

"You want me to show you the awards I've gotten from my track meets? You bet! I was hoping I'd get to show you."- Club Wear

"I bet if you, me, and Grim just go ham talking about all that happened today when we get back to school… Ace’ll get crazy jealous."- Rabbit wear

"I think I was able to help my mom feel a bit of relief. And that’s because you all came with me, so, thanks."- Rabbit wear

"I can’t believe you’re here to wish me a happy birthday… Today’s such an amazing day. …Oh, shoot. I definitely have some kind of weird look on my face right now, don’t I? Sorry, I just got so happy I couldn’t help this wide grin. Anyway, thanks so much, Prefect! I’ll make sure to keep doing my best to be someone deserving of your celebrations!"-Birthday Union

((he is my good little boy, I love him, Deuce you live in my heart))

​🇹​​🇴​​🇳​​🇮​​🇬​​🇭​​🇹​, ​🇮​​🇳​ ​🇹​​🇭​​🇪​ ​🇬​​🇷​​🇪​​🇦​​🇹​ ​🇯​​🇺​​🇳​​🇬​​🇱​​🇪​, ​🇹​​🇭​​🇪​ ​🇱​​🇮​​🇴​​🇳​ ​🇸​​🇱​​🇪​​🇪​​🇵​​🇸

"They got bone-in meat to eat right there, and you still order the salad. And that's why you're a herbivore."- Playfull Dress

"You don't have to call my name over and over again, I hear you. I'm just staying silent so I don't ruin all your amusement park excitement."- Playfull Dress ((Are we going to delude ourselves and dream that he was admiring us the whole time? Yes))

"A horror attraction? Sure, I'll tag along with you for that, 'cause I bet I'll get to hear some good screams from you herbivores."- Playfull Dress

"You have my utmost gratitude for such a splendid celebration. …There, I thanked you. I’m not saying it again."- Birtday Boy

"You want to make me happy? Hahah! What fine intentions coming from a herbivore. I’m looking forward to it."- Birthday Boy

"Sneaking up behind me like that, were you attempting to surprise me? Aah, my bad. I’ll pretend I didn’t notice, so go on, continue."- Birthday Boy

"You’re just going to carry drinks around and not even toast with me? Hey, bring a glass for yourself too."- Birtday Boy

"Did this sword catch your eye? The motif of the hilt seems to be a jellyfish. I can let you borrow it, but don’t swing it around."- Halloween ((Would you also have a jar of dirt too? Asking a friend))

"You can’t trust someone who smiles all the time, like Jade. Usually guys like me end up being the more trustworthy ones, you know?"- Halloween

"Doesn’t matter who the opponent is. The only one deserving a win is me"- Beastly Garb

"Magic is strictly forbidden in Catch the Tail. Maybe I’ll train you up for the next one… I kid, this ain’t ever happening again."- Beastly Garb

"Back home, there were a ton of people who took issue with my sense of fashion. You wouldn’t do that to me, hmm?"- Gala Couture

"The rich folks from the Scalding Sands are much richer than royal families in other countries. If you want to butter someone up, you’d have better luck with Kalim"- Gala Couture

"Well, aren’t you super meticulous on something as simple as a cake cutting. I don’t really care how you do it, but just get it done before tomorrow comes."- Blooming Birthday

" I had Cater delete all the pictures he took. Obviously, I asked him nicely. Yeah, that’s right, I’m such a shy boy."- Blooming Birthday

"If you’re going to act all high and mighty, I’m going to expect something grand from you, y'know? So hurry up and bring out my present, already."- Blooming Birthday

"Wouldn’t ya believe it, Vil gave me a sewing kit. Something this special deserves to be shoved in the far back of a drawer for posterity."- Blooming Birthday

"If it’s survival, leave it to me! My experience is different from all the other guys."- Outdoor Wear

" You wanna know the trick to fishing? Hmmー …How ‘bout I trade you for those nuts you’ve got in your hand?"- Outdoor Wear ((What nuts? THESENUT--))

"Grim-kun stole your food? Guess it can’t be helped, here, I’ll share my grilled fish with you. Now you owe me one! Shishishi〜"- Outdoor Wear

"Shishishi, you totally remembered my birthday, right?"- Union Birthday ((It's marked on my calendar, my hyena))

"Thanks for celebratin’ my birthday with me! Since it’s my big day, we should go grab some grub and… Ah! Oh noooooo, this is sooooo terrible, I forgot my wallet… I guess I can’t buy… Eh, you’ll treat me? Really? Maan, it’s really great having such a generous junior like you! C'mon, let’s go, let’s go. Shishishi～" - Union Birthday

"Can’t believe a talkin’ portrait wished me a happy birthday… ’S not something I woulda ever been able to imagine happenin’ to me while I lived in the slums."- Union Birthday

"The guys in the magical shift club gave me some powdered sports drinks. I love gettin’ practical gifts like that!"- Union Birthday

" If you’re gonna come check out our practice, make sure you bring us refreshments! Like sports drinks, nutritional jelly drinks, or even doughnuts!"- Club Wear

"My nickname “Disc Thief” is pretty well-known, so maybe I might get scouted by some pro team with their eye on me… Nah, that’d be too good to be true."- - Club Wear

"We can hear Leona’s voice pretty good even when we got noisy spectators durin’ a game. Guess lions just got a healthier roar to ‘em." - Club Wear

"Even if you can’t use magic, you can still join our club. We got a ton of stuff for a manager to get done!" - Club Wear

(Leona simps… do you think his snores are loud too? And during… NO I DIDN'T THINK ABOUT THAT)

"Hey, are you here to celebrate my birthday? Thanks for coming all this... Wait, you just wanted me to show you my homework? Do you own homework! Geez, don't mislead me like that... ...What is this box? Is it a present? O-Oh. Then, I'll gladly take it... Hey, you didn't do all this just to get a kick out of how I'd react, right?" -Platinum Jacket

"Ah, you wasted no time in coming. …You’re not scheming to horseplay around on my birthday, are you?" - Union Bithday

"You want me to take a picture of in this outfit and send it to my family? …Well, I guess that’s fine. Th-Then… please take one for me." - Union Bithday

"Thanks for the birthday wishes. …Something I hope for in the coming year? I want to grow some more. Eh? I’m already big enough? …I’m not talking about my height! I mean I want to mature more. Whenever you’re around I end up feeling so dazed. It must mean I’m relaxed around you. Thanks." - Union Bithday

((i mean… he's already our big boy… I hope the wolf form grows bigger and bigger too, my cute puppy))

((I feel like Yuu feels lighter and more playful around Jack, to the point of making pranks and having fun together <3))

ɐɐǝs ǝɥʇ ɹǝpu∩ ɐɐǝs ǝɥʇ ɹǝpu∩

"Oh my, I see how your eye shines so... If you've taken a liking to that painting, I shall order a reproduction for you. At a discounted price, of course." - Platinum Jacket

"Young love is wonderful. There is no end to the troubles that come from it, so it's quite a favorable emotion for those of us who impart counsel." - Platinum Jacket

"Laying out on the beach to watch the sunset is actually rather lovely, isn't it?"- Beach Wear

" The water around this island is unbelievably delightful. The water is warm and there are no predators. It is a far cry from my hometow."-Beach Wear

"If I were to describe the Coral Sea in one word, it would be "vast." If you ever decide to visit for a vacation, you may come to regret it. "- Beach Wear

"What could you possibly... ...Oh, it's you. I thought it may have been Stitch-san coming to pester me once again."- Beach Wear

"You may leave it to me to lead us in this dance. Allow me to show you just how much effort I've put forth."-Masquerade Dress

"You wish me to take your picture? Of course, I don't mind whatsoever. Now, what should I ask for in return?"- Masquerade Dress

"Oh, my, are you sharing your pastries with me? I would be elated to take some off your hands. It is rather nice that I can try so many in smaller portions."-Masquerade Dress

" What is it? Eh, oh, I look good in this outfit? ...Fufufu, whatever are you scheming? Please, do tell."-Masquerade Dress

"Jade poured this tea as his gift to me. Only... He had this strangely good-natured smile on his face as he did so. ...Would you care to drink it?"- Bloom Birthday ( you littl-)

"I don't understand why candles are inserted into the cake... Sure, it's lovely to see the flames dance in the dark, but it ruins the cake's presentation when it comes time to eat it." -Bloom Birthday

"Something I would like? ...Then, please sing a birthday song for me. Come, you'll sing for me, won't you?"-Bloom Birthday

"Azul can grant any wish," they say. ...Would you like to see if the rumors are true?- Ceremonial Wear

and this duo dialogue? BOYYY

Azul: I am so honored to be paired with you, Jamil-san.

Jamil: Get moving instead of just flapping your lips, Azul.

(suck this up octoponk)

"Down in the ocean depths, the Sea Witch's favorite lipstick is very popular. The container is even shaped like a seashell... I recall gifting it to my mother once, as well."- New Year ((I have a wish for my birthday present, and I think you do too))

 "Do go on, Tsum-san, do whatever you please. It's alright, I shall be watching over you."- Tsumsitter ((Go ahead little creature, spread chaos, I'll be admiring your work))

"Allow me to show you how wonderous the mountains truly are. I do so hope that you will want to join the Mountain Lovers Club afterwards."- Outdoor Wear

"I brought along a very large backpack, but it is mostly empty. That is so that I will be able to bring home some of the nature's bounty as souvenirs."- Outdoor Wear

"It is more crucial to use your intellect when it comes to potionology, rather than magic. Since you have no magical abilities, don't you think this would be the perfect subject for you?"- Lab Wear

"Could you tell me your favorite dish? It may be a good addition for the Mostro Lounge menu."- Lab Wear

"Have you ever heard the phrase "haste makes waste"? ...Never mind, how foolish of me to ask."- Lab Wear

"In the Mountain Lovers Club I founded, we study the flora that we've collected. ...Oh, does this pique your interest?""- Lab Wear

"May I help you? ...I'm afraid it is somewhat difficult to continue exercising when you're staring at me so intensely."- Pe Education

"You are quite... No, nevermind. You do realize that courage and recklessness are two different things entirely, yes?"- Pe Education

"You wish to climb Moln Mountain? I understand how you must feel, but... Snowy mountains are quite dangerous. It may be better for you to build up your climbing experience little by little first."- Apple Boa

((I don't know about you, but Jade's sentences wander from a nice person to someone suspicious)) ((Do you want to know something? Everything that comes out of his mouth is a trap, suspicious as hell))

"Here, Shrimpy-chan, you can have my fries. Nah, you don't gotta thank me. I just couldn't finish 'em 'cause I just slathered something spicy all over it." - Playfull Dress

" Y'know, I really like big and hefty shoes like these～ I love the way they make big, strong stompy sounds when I walk～" - Playfull Dress

"My shoes and jacket sparkles just like scales! Humans have it so good～ They can just swap up their scales whenever they want just by changing clothes." - Platinum Jacket

Beach Wear Vignette - Dialogue

Floyd: 'Cause, I mean, if someone tells you not to do something, doesn't it just make you want to do it more?

Stitch: Yahahahaha!

Floyd: My pops and mama always told us that it was dangerous for us kids to go by ourselves, so we shouldn't go near it.

Stitch: Grrr, rargh!

Floyd: Hmm? Oh, it's nothing like that. That whole thing where the humans and merfolk were afraid of each other is stuff from a long, long time ago.

Floyd: Folks've been comin' and goin' between the land and sea for a while now, ever since the mermaid princess married that human prince.

"Aha. I'm all ready to go, but is the party ready for me?"- Bloom Birthday ((Chaotic child detected))

"Ah, hey, it's Koebi-chan. So you're gonna give me whatever I want as a present? Then, tell me a fun story you know from up here on the surface. ...What, you weren't expecting me to ask for somethin' intangible? I mean, this is waaay better than getting somethin' I don't need. But I ain't gonna let it slide if you tell me a boring story. Mmkay, you can go ahead and start now～"-Bloom Birthday

"Maaan, passing practice is so boring 'cause it's too easy. Koebi-chan, wanna play 1 on 1 with me? I'll go a little bit easy on you"- Club Wear

"Hm, I don't see your mouth watering. You saying my food tastes bad?"- Apprentice Chef

"I make a ton of grilled sandwiches. I ain't got a recipe or anything. Just toss in some leftovers and grill 'em and you're done."- Apprentice Chef

"Jade'll put shiitake mushrooms in pretty much anything, so I got to the point that just lookin' at 'em pisses me off."- Apprentice Chef

" You make real great-lookin' faces when you're eating, Shrimpy. Didja like my cooking? 'Kay, then next time, I'll make you something even better."- Apprentice Chef (( PLEASE DO ))

" Next time, you should go up on stage, Koebi-chan. I'll be expectin' a fun show."- Port Wear

" Ehhh, my ribbon's crooked? I don't have a mirror, so I can't see it... Shrimpy-chan, why don'tcha fix it nicely for me?"- Platinum Jacket

(っ◔◡◔)っ ♥ Every like, repost and comment is very welcome and appreciated. ♥

[talisidekick]

Thanks for being so compassionate! As someone who's had to defend himself from assault pre transition and assault and attempted trafficking during transition which has contributed to some agoraphobia centered on thoughts like "damn, wasn't safe off T not safe on it", it's been rlly scary seeing ppl shrug off how transmascs are endangered in real life in service of discrediting transandro discourse. Cool seeing who's really real I guess????? anyways hope you're well and warm. Srry about my run on sentence lmao

There is absolutely nothing to apologize for. We only get to see one side publically, and that's pretty much just trans women issues. Media likes to cover just us. I rarely see news stories about just trans men. We don't see the stories about trans men getting stalked or followed around in stores by total strangers, getting attacked in public, rarely a mention if a trans man gets killed. It's happening but you don't see it. You don't see a flood of forum posts about the constant dismissal of, unique brand of hatred around, or the types of dangers faced by trans men.

My introduction to questioning my gender was actually FROM transandrophobia. The reason for this is I've had more of a curvy figure since ... well forever, even though my body was producing T on it's own. I got A LOT of compliments on it by pretty much all my friends (which were mostly girls, and yes that probably should have been a sign but I'm a bit thick sometimes, okay?) because I was "unconventionally sexy" because of it. I'm now remembering I do have a shirtless picture somewhere from before I was on HRT ... I'll work up the nerve to show that at some point to prove that point. Anywho, because of this, a random ass stranger had been following me as I went to grab a few things from a walmart after my shift. It was weird as fuck. Uncomfortably close, constantly looking at me but not what they were pretending to, and I kind of knew this dick was waiting until there was no one in the aisle before pulling something. I'd been mugged before at 14 and 15 so at 24 I was kind of like "I'm not getting stabbed in a damn Walmart" and just made sure to be quick. I got out of the store and met up with some old work friends and just let them know someone was following me and I wanted to wait them out. Props to my friends at the time, they bullseyed the dude (to be fair he wasn't being stealthy) and called him out. And he yelled back "You'll never be a real man" to me. My friends laughed at him because as far as we all knew, I was cis. But this would happen two more times in the same week. A lady would tell me I shouldn't be doing "this" to myself with a full body gesture, and that god "loves" me; and a college colleague flat out dismissed my concerns on something because "only a real man would need to worry about that". It got me wondering if this was a new fad, to hate on someones manliness, and upon looking that up I learned about what exactly transgender meant, the experiences of trans men and women (just a bit on women, my concern was on trans men at the time), and thought it was kind of cool there were people who'd know two sides to the gender spectrum. But it must SUCK to have to go through the bullshit I did and actually be affected by it. Like, no one has any right to tell another man they're less of one.

This whole situation would actually come back to help me 2 years later in finding myself. I'd only really looked up trans men and curiosity mid covid lock down would lead me to look up non-binary and then trans women. However, transandrophobia is how I, a trans woman, got her start. So it boils my blood when I see people talk about T being toxic or trans men having it easier. It shows a complete lack of understanding and a lack of acceptance and willingness to empathize. Trans men and trans mascs have different issues, that doesn't make them lesser, and while those issues may not affect me, it doesn't make it less of my problem to help deal with where I can. I know certain issues I'll have no experience on, no idea how to help, but that doesn't mean I can't still offer to be support. Everyone should be doing the same, and shame on those who aren't.

You deserve equal treatment and support in your fight for it, not dismissal. Those that dismiss the issues of trans men aren't allies, they're transphobes. And fuck transphobes.

[gaykey]

i wrote this last night when i was high, so i drafted it because i wasn't sure if it made sense. but, re-reading it now i think i was getting at something??

so, there's sonething i find super interesting in the boston x nick scenes.

the way all of their moments together can kinda be taken two ways. the photo scene for example:

boston saying he only takes photos of his favourites, and nick seeming super smitten about that fact.

with the music and the supposedly sweet remark from boston and nick's slight smile, this scene is staged to be romantic - and from nick's pov it is.

but, on the flip side:

this scene can also be seen as kind of predatory? boston is there taking the photo of nick - but nick looks totally uncomfortable, and small and vulberable. shifting the whole vibe and tone of the scene.

you could argue this is the situation more from boston's pov. something more sultry and sexy as opposed to romantic. the lighting all not so much glowy more? hot?

and then there's the post-jerk-off 'what are we scene'.

nick again, looks very vulnerable and small, and is trying so hard to make it seem like he doesn't care, and would be happy with just a fuck-buddies situation.

the lighting here, is really cold, and dark, and boderline creepy, in contrast to the more warm light of the other post-coital scene.

here, we have boston being the most physically affectionate yet. he snuggles up to nick, gives him a kiss on the cheek, and talks about how he'd actually like to hang out with nick more outside of sex - this is boston's pov. in his mind, he's being super caring and nice. nick should be so grateful he's pulling out all the stops right? he's boston's new favourite after all.

again, with the sliggtly warmer lighting. the yellow creeping into the blue there.....

idk, there's something about neo's portrayal of boston, that is so endearing, that even though we as an audience can see him way more objectively than nick, and know just how toxic this will turn out, he kinda manages to still lure us into a false sense of security. giving false hope maybe? even i'm starting to think 'hey, maybe they'll work out?' 😭

and his is how the scene ends

nick, alone, knowing exactly what he's set himself up for, but, with that little hope - the little bit of warmth still touching him.

this is not so much a meta, but an appreciate for how much detail goes into the performances, and the shots, and lighting. it just makes me happy.

[lilis-palace]

WORK-IN-PROGRESS : A Secretaire desk

Not really a guide, but can be interesting for those who would like to know how I create an object or a set. Originally I wrote this essay for a course at my uni but I translated and simplified it.

💡☝️ INSPO

The secretaire desk is an iconic piece of Biedermeier furniture. My fascination with the elegant yet straightforward style is beyond measure.

🧊🕸️ MODELLING

I used Blender for modelling. (I made it when I was still using the old 2.7 version.) The design process for the object consumed a significant amount of my time, spanning a total of three hours.

After I finish making the model, I need to do something called "unfolding." This means turning the 3D object into a 2D mesh. Once that's done, I "burn" the shadows onto it, which gives it the final look you see below.

🎨🖌️ TEXTURE

After that, I use the Sims 4 Studio program. This is where I make sure that the object looks right with its texture and I decide how it should act in the game.

To create the special intarsia effect, I use patterns that I've already prepared in Photoshop. I carefully rotate and arrange them until they fit just right. It takes a lot of time, but the final outcome is totally worth it.

🌐✨ NORMAL & SPECULAR MAP

The Normal map is really important for objects with low levels of detail. It determines how light behaves on different surfaces. With the Normal map, even a surface that looks completely smooth can actually appear uneven when light shines on it. This creates the illusion of more intricate details without slowing down the game's performance.

In the game, they use a simpler version of the Normal map called the Bump map. To make it, I use a plugin in Photoshop and save it in a specific format called .DDS. I have to tweak the channels and choose the right settings to get it just right.

When I apply the Bump map to my Biedermeier writing cabinet with shelves, it creates small shadows at the edges of the shelves when light hits the center. This makes the shelves stand out from the flat surface and adds depth to the object.

The shine of an object is controlled by the specular map. It determines how reflective the surface appears, whether it's a shiny metal, a glossy glass, or a completely matte material. By adjusting the color values, we can create different types of shine.

In this project, I want to achieve a specific type of shine that looks like wax or honey. Fortunately, I already have a template ready for this. I just need to find it and apply it to the object in the program.

📊📐SIMS 4 STUDIO SETTINGS

After that, I need to make a bunch of tweaks to make sure the object works properly in the game. It involves doing both small and big adjustments. For example, I add tags to make it easy to find in the catalog, figure out how the surface should look, find the right spots where other objects can connect to it, decide where chairs and writing surfaces should go, and more. The first picture shows how things are set up by default, while the second one shows the changes I've made.

Throughout this whole process, I have to carefully figure out the exact positions for different parts using a coordinate system. It can be a bit tiresome and take up a lot of time.

📈 💼 WORK IN PROGRESS

First, I made a work-in-progress picture. This is how I announce the new collection.

💃🎞️ GIF

In the post, there's a gif that demonstrates various color combinations. Creating this gif involves a careful and detailed process. I have to take individual photos of all 16 color combinations for each of the two cabinets. Afterward, I need to carefully match and merge these photos together. Finally, I use an online Gif maker site to edit and finalize the gif.

📷🖼️ PREVIEW PIC

I spent a good 2 hours setting up the scene, and it wasn't easy finding the right items and creating the perfect environment. Editing the image also took me another 2 hours, as I paid close attention to every little detail.

Out of the three images you see above, the first one is the default color scheme generated by the game itself. The second image, on the other hand, was created using a program called Reshade. It's an extra tool you have to install separately, and its main purpose is to change the lighting inside the game. It adds depth and creates a whole different atmosphere. As for the third image, that's what it looks like after I adjusted the colors in Photoshop. And finally, I added shadows and highlights to the image to give it a more three-dimensional and immersive feel.

I hope you enjoyed this post and see you soon. The release date of the set is tomorrow!

[nonbinary-octopus]

so my current 3D printing project is this: I am making a giant lego man

not super huge, just 5x regular lego size. It'll be about eight inches tall when complete

the reasons for this are, primarily, because it’s cool, and also. I just bought legos with my own adult money for the first time, and it turns out that lego people are for some reason considerably more expensive than lego bricks. I had a whole rant about it earlier that I'm not going to retype here, but the short version is, I did not buy any lego people

but then I went on thingiverse and I found a model for a large-scale lego person! (with this remix for better arms)

and I thought, that is very cool. I am going to make a giant lego person, who can sit on top of the lego box and guard the bricks

and then, because it would take quite a while to print the whole thing, I did a miniature test print at regular lego size, which is 20% of the original file size

it took about an hour

and he is a pretty good little lego man!

His head's a little loose, but not too bad. I had to reprint the hands cause I originally oriented them stupidly and they broke immediately, but once I redid them in a smarter position, they just took a little sanding of support droopies before they fit great.

The shoulders took some effort to pop into place, but I had expected that. On the rare occasion an arm came off of a lego person when I was a kid, I remember it being extremely difficult to put it back on. Once I got the arms in place and wiggled them back and forth a few times, they moved perfectly smoothly

The legs were trickier to attach to the hips, and one of them keeps angling itself oddly, so that he stands a bit pigeon-toed. If you mess with it too much, it will fall off.

Also the hips keep springing back out of the torso, which isn't great.

Based on this, plus a couple comments on thingiverse which said several connections were not working great, I knew I might need to make some adjustments. And to know exactly how it needed to be adjusted, I needed to print it at full scale

but I didn't want to spend several days printing, only to have to make adjustments and potentially have to reprint every file

so, first, I made a connection test file

I cut the individual pieces up into just their connection points: a slice of neck from the torso, and the bottom of the head. the shoulder pin on the arm, and the shoulder hole in the torso. The hip pin and hole. the wrist, and the entire hand because it's the smallest piece and didn't make nearly as much of a difference if I printed the whole thing. Plus, it rests on the hand on the buildplate, and it would be tricky to get just the hand post to print without including the hand

the first printing attempt spaghettified

it slipped horizontally not far in, and I suspect that caused the spaghetti, when it tried to print over somewhere that should have been supported and now wasnt. Can't be sure, because nobody saw it happen. My husband called me down to stop the printer when he noticed.

this is the shoulder hole and neck post

it wasn't a total waste, however. I was able to tell from what little had printed of the neck and head that the neck hole was far too large for the post.

So, I made an adjustment to the torso file, making the neck post larger, and restarted the test print with the new version. Unfortunately, restating meant that it went into the evening rather later than I had initially planned, sparking a conversation about what times of day would be most convenient for me to print things so as to not render the living room unhospitible (no hard feelings in either direction, it's just. a loud machine. and it can get annoying to listen to)

That test print went fine, and I was able to test all the fits

conclusions:

the neck now fits perfectly

the hand post is much too small for the wrist

the hip and shoulder joints are both too snug. I was able to force them together, but they will not rotate (they also now will not separate, and the layers around the shoulder hole split when forcing the shoulder pin inside)

so, back to the modeling program to make more adjustments. The simplest of these was to thicken the arm post

for the shouder, I measured all the bits and discovered that part of the problem is that the wall of the torso around the shoulder hole was thicker than the length of the pin before the flared head

in short, the pin was not long enough to reach all the way through the hole and have the flared head pop out on the other side

so, I lengthened the pin, and also put the slit on the flared head on the top as well as the bottom, for extra squishability

For the hips, they have a different pin shape than the shoulder, so I decided to replace it with the same mushroom-shaped kind of pin the shoulder has. I also widened the hole in the leg piece slightly.

You may notice that I didn't mention testing the hip-to-torso connection, despite noting that there was an issue on my initial miniature print. This is because in order to test it, I'd need to print a large enough portion of both the hip and torso pieces that I might as well print the whole thing, so I figured it would be better to get all the other connections correct first, and then adjust that one as need be.

I did take a look at it in the modeling program, however, and discovered that when assembled, the posts in the hips and the sides of the torso attempt to be in the same location. So I trimmed the hip posts to fit.

Then I printed all the altered files in miniature again, because that's a pretty quick test print

As I had hoped, the legs clicked on much better and more sturdily, and the hips fit into the torso much more securely as well.

The hands and head no longer fit at all, but I'd figured that would be the case as well, considering their fit on my initial test and my subsequent adjustments. I'd printed four hands when reprinting them earlier, testing two slightly different positions (the difference in results was negligible), so I used the extras for the new figure. I sanded down the neck post a bit to get the head to fit, and perhaps I should have sanded a bit more but I didn't feel like it

With that promising test, I prepared a new test print file to test the fit of all the adjusted parts at full scale (save the neck, already tested, and the hip-to-torso connection, will test later as explained earlier - so, just the hip and shoulder joints, and the hand, since I didn't change the wrist and can reuse it to test the new hand)

That's printing currently. Will update when it's done.

[20dollarlolita]

Did you know that sometimes, you do something totally normal in the tumblr editor, something that you could accidentally do very easily, and it decides to eat your entire post? It just deleted over an hour of work? Did you know that it does that?

Isn't that swell?

THE RANDOM LOLITA 30 DAY CHALLENGE, DAY 10: 10 THINGS YOU CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT IN LOLITA.

We're doing a challenge from 2011 and we're doing it very slowly. We're actually doing it even slower, because we wrote half of this post, hit ctrl+z, and tumblr just fucking deleted it with no way to get it back. Glorious. 10/10, fucking hate it.

This challenge number was a little weird for me. I've been doing lolita since 2011, and the answers that I would have given in 2011 are probably very different than the ones I'm giving in 2023. Having that framing makes me feel very nostalgic.

Let's get into it. If tumblr eats this again, I will be throwing the entire website out the door.

Number 1) A comfortable petticoat that stays the right shape, and that I don't have to worry about crushing.

Back in my early days, one of the first things that I bought for lolita fashion was a real petticoat. One of the most critical elements of a lolita fashion look is the shape, and having a foundation that gave me the right shape helped things that I was making look a lot more like real lolita.

(Early 2012)

My first ever petticoat, which is under the red dress, was made out of muslin and some walmart tulle. I believe it used this tutorial. While that dress wasn't ever going to look really lolita super well, the petticoat issue sure isn't helping.

These days I have a Wunderwelt petticoat that I got in 2016, and it's so very enjoyable to have a petticoat where the only concern is that it might be too big for a dress. I love how little work it takes to add the proper shape to a coord.

Number 2) Definitely lolita shoes.

When I wear lolita out and about, I've noticed that one of the things that changes stranger's reactions is the shoes. If I've got some distinctly lolita shoes, like RHS, people tend to ask if it's a fashion. If I'm wearing lolitable shoes that could also work in a non-lolita outfit, I get asked what costume I'm wearing.

(Late 2013)

Baby lolita me had a pair of black Mary Jane pumps from Target, and those were my lolita shoes for several months. In my first ever Bodyline order, I got some brown tea parties, and about a year later I bought these pink RHS and white flats.

And that was it. That was what I owned for lolita shoes from 2013 to 2016. Coords were black, brown, pink, white, or else I wore shoes that didn't match. Occasionally I'd go crazy and get some short boots into the mix, but this was my lolita shoe collection.

I have at least four tutorials in this blog about how to fix shoes, because I don't let my shoes die until they're absolutely dead and gone. Those brown tea parties are now painted gold and have been turned into very dangerous roller skates. I had to take a five-ish mile offroad hike in the white ones, which destroyed the bottoms as well as permanently staining the ribbon frill brown. These are, to this day, the only lolita shoes that I've ever thrown away. The other two pairs of shoes I still have.

My closet doesn't look like a BTSSB show room because I have to keep the rubbermaid tub of skulls somewhere, and the closet seems the best place.

In the seven years since I started buying lolita shoes again, I've collected several pairs. A lot of these pairs were in the $5-$30 price range, and none of them have been disposed of. This is just seven years of collecting shoes.

Number 3) Little details that are fast to add to a coord.

So, TJ Maxx sells these little clip on ribbon bows in their baby department, and they're my new favorite fast and easy accessory. They can go in your hair. They can go on your dress. They can go on your shoes. It's wonderful.

I've said a whole lot that making a lolita coord is about adding all the details that you think you should add, and then adding 3-5 more details. It's very easy to underestimate how detailed a handmade lolita piece should be.

Something that I didn't fully appreciate until recently, at least not to the extent that I currently appreciate it, is how much your overall coordinate can benefit from the same thing. If you CAN throw on some little extra bows and bracelets, it generally looks better if you do that.

I have very small wrists (both wrists together cannot hold a 4-week old kitten) and jingling loose bracelets often drive me nuts. I finally found out that stretch bracelets meant for kids will fit on my wrists, won't jinglejangle, and also won't pinch. As a bonus, they're like $1 for a 2-pack, so I went a little bit nuts stocking up on them.

I've got a couple of tutorials on making your own cheap, small details that you can just plop onto as many coords as you'd like.

Number 4) Sewing machine.

(Feb 2011)

My first lolita dress was handmade. Making my own garments and accessories has always been an important part of this fashion for me. I don't have as much to say about this, because it's just so constantly present in everything that I do.

I've learned about lolita fashion by sewing it, and I've learned about sewing by sewing lolita fashion.

(October 2010)

I made my first lolita dress on a pretty basic sewing machine (the precursor to the Janome 3160QDC). I've since sideways-graded to a really basic 80's Singer. Despite having a very fancy embroidery machine, I don't sew on it. My last service said I've done 5 hours of sewing and 170 hours of embroidery on that machine. I know what I need, and I have what I need.

Number 5) Five Below's $5 bike shorts

They're $5. They come in every color.

Your tights falling down? Bike shorts. Your bloomers pretty annoying to wash and so you want to keep them off your skin to avoid having to wash our sweat stains? Your car a little bit funky and you might need to lie down on the ground to change your tire? Bike shorts. Little old lady in a wheelchair might pick up your skirt to see if you're wearing pantaloons? and you're not wearing pantaloons? You're never going to be more glad that you have bike shorts.

When I was new to lolita and like 12 years stupider than I now am, I had smaller petticoats, and always figured that high-coverage tights and standard underoos were modesty enough, with bloomers being necessary for coords with socks. Get a fuller petticoat, and you stop feeling like that. Bike shorts at Target were like $15 a pair, because they're designed to be comfortable to wear when you're riding a bike. I'm not riding a bike. I'm walking through walmart to buy some milk. I'm not going fast because I have 5" of fake wood glued to the bottom of my foot. I don't need your comfort features. I need $5 bike shorts.

These have pockets in them so that you can stash emergency money or a fortune you got from Panda Express in 2020 that says, "Be ready to take an important journey soon," on it.

Yes, the pantaloons thing happened to me, and I actually was wearing bloomers. Yes, the woman pushing the tiny old lady in the wheelchair clearly had never been more embarrassed in her life.

Number 6) Men's undershirts.

Call it a singlet, call it an a-shirt, please don't call it a wifebeater. These things are made of a ribbed knit that stretches to accommodate boobs and curves very well. They're meant to be washed the heck out of. I can't throw my dresses into the washing machine on the crazy hard cycle and throw them in a hot dryer and figure whatever happens happens, but these things are THREE. DOLLARS. EACH. A whole lot of not perfect things can be forgiven when the under shirt is $3.

The neck doesn't work on OPs or some blouses, but they're also three dollars each, so I wear them any time I can. Women's undershirts are $12-18 EACH so I can't just buy 30 of them. If you want some bonus armpit protections, men's t-shirt undershirts are only like $5 each.

Number 7) Oxiclean.

A lot of lolita fashion is about our super fancy, super detailed prints. These are prints that look lovely when you're up close to them, so it's important to not have dingy and dirty and faded prints, especially when you paid good money for that printing. All hail Oxiclean.

I went to go take a picture of the jumbo boxes of oxiclean that I buy, but it looks like someone threw the box on the ground and then went to lie in her bed like nothing bad happened. (She wasn't hurt and I cleaned it up so she couldn't get it on her paws and lick it).

Also yes, my cat has her own little personal heater. It turns off if it's tipped over, so she will turn it off whenever she gets too hot.

Number 8) Parasols.

First of all, it turns out that finding offbrand parasols for lolita is a super cool challenge. They're not very common, so when you do find one, it feels like a big accomplishment.

I love parasols for a lot of reasons. I was going to get coffee with a friend, and someone was acting kind of strangely outside the shop. I liked that I had something in my hands to potentially use to keep that person away from me if they decided to approach me way too quickly. My doctor and I thought for a while that I had a condition where if I went in the sun, my skin attacked my internal organs, so I started carrying umbrellas for that. It's very sunny where I live. Before I lived here, I lived where it was very rainy, and having a nice couple of ruffled RainStoppers was good to have on hand.

(May 2011 | Sept 2013) I've actually collected parasols for longer than I've really been into lolita. Pic on the left was pre-lolita times. I absolutely loved that parasol and took it everywhere that I could. Pic on the right is the earliest picture I could find of my white RainStoppers that I got at Target, which I still have somewhere in my car. Mostly that pic is there because of my cats. Also the pictures just felt like a nice weird little bit of symmetry.

Anyway, when someone's taking a pic of you without asking, you can block it with your parasol. My relationship with parasols in lolita is complicated, because I feel like I shouldn't need to have a weapon with me, but here we are.

Number 9) All the info that baby me chronicled. Everything I've learned and everything that I didn't used to know. I have so much fun looking at my old cringe coords and all of the things I did that I know are wrong now. I really miss the way I fearlessly tried things out and the rate at which I churned out new pieces. There's some pieces that I don't have anymore and I miss those things. I used to have some old school AP socks that I have no clue where they are. Seeing the way I used to have my bedroom set up so that I'd still have space to sew. Looking at the dates on pictures and thinking about what I was doing back then. Most of these pictures are from back when cell phone cameras were awful, and I've had to edit all of them to get better exposure before putting them up. There's memories I have of us all carrying around digital cameras to save things, because cell phones just weren't there yet (also some of us didn't have pix messaging plans and had to pay 25 cents per picture to get them to our computers). I looked at the bottom of my pink RHS the other day and the tread's all the way worn off. That's so interesting to me, that I've worn pink-shoe lolita enough that I completely wore the tread off.

Jan 1, 2014 "Sometimes the best thing ever is to walk into Starbucks and watch a five year old’s eyes go as wide as they can, point at you, and say loudly “Mom, is that a real person?” Sometimes the best part is watching the mom go BEET red."

I remember that event so specifically. It was one of the first times I'd actually worn the head-eating bow in public. It took me several years to warm up to the head-eaters. I remember exactly what the mom and the kid looked like, but also until I read this post, I'd completely forgotten about this whole incident.

Number 10)

This blog, and the people who read it, interact with it, comment on it.

I really cannot explain how amazing this community is to me. I think the first time I saw someone link someone else a tutorial I made was just a couple of years ago. It was so exciting. Every time i meet someone who is afraid to get into lolita fashion due to the expense, and I'm able to tell them that there's a whole COMMUNITY of people who want to do lolita for less, it's amazing. I started this blog because I felt like I could make myself some accessories for not a lot of money, and I just needed the motivation to do it. But now it's so much better than that. I'm still making things for me. I make things I want and things that I'll use and things that I can make. But I'm also making them for other people, who also need the same kind of help. I teach myself new things so that I can answer questions I've been asked. Every time I have to research an answer for someone, that person has helped me grow.

It's just amazing. Thank you.

[batllethinker]

Wandanat fic recs

Shades of green by ariesfriend 18+

Just good ole smut, bottom Nat because she's the best, kind of an au because Wanda wasn't snapped, fwb arrangement

Crimson and all its colors by wasted_potential_007

Angst, Wanda gets taken hostage by a red room copy so imagine Nats recovery but Wanda, it's unfinished and doesn't really have a satisfying ending but it's a good read

Rose by terrifier

Hanahaki disease, angsty, there's no actual confession so Wanda almost dies until Nat comes in, very last minute

May the Gods Strike Me Down If I Forsake You by LetheOblivion

Wanda gets freed from the raft, major trauma, very sad, a long road to recovery, major hurt/comfort (unfinished)

I don't see what you see (but I want to) by orphan_account

Wanda has an eating disorder, Wanda and Nat finally talk about it, some sweet cuddling

Terminal by scarlet_black

Wanda has cancer, Nat is sad, they make the best of it, major character death in both endings

Words from the heart by fanfictionisthegame 18+

Professors Wandanat, very whory, very long, finished, feel like I should put a tw for abusive Maria, it's mostly just fluff and smut tho (there's a part 2 too)

Something new by novoaa1 18+

They try anal

Sour girl by dollylux 18+

Wanda is severly traumatized, Nat is her neighbor, they become friends and fuck later (read tags)

The Scarlet Witch is Only a Child by Elfie_the_anonymous_turtle

Post aou, Nat is just mean and Wanda lets herself be tortured, not sure if there will be a relationship but there's obviously a great start (read tags)

Uses by Alex Moss 18+

Nat has comphet and tries to fuck Bucky, then Wanda fucks her

Business as unusual by Cinnamonsweatsocks 18+

Mob boss Nat, Ceo Wanda and their (slightly nd) assistant/gf R, what more could you ask for. I also really love their whole dynamic, with my beautifully switchy Nat, which is totally underrated

the sound of love's marching band by romanovasquinn

Nat has a panic attack and Wanda comforts her, very sweet and domestic

I'll still love you (even after we decay) by orphan_account

Angst, hurt/comfort, EDs, Wanda just grieving Pietro, slow burn and it has not been updated since last year so

Aching for you by venushill 18+

Abo au, friends with benefits Wandanat with very obvious feelings for eachother, Nat goes into heat and it's good

[melissa-titanium]

Hey, if you were to think up a fankid for N x doll, how would they act and look? (Totally not planning to make one :>)

FUCK. OH MY GOD OK I LITERALLY NEVER THINK OF FANKIDS FUCKING .EVER. I GENUINELY DONT HAVE A SINGLE CLUE INEED TO BRAINSTORM THIS Ok;a.y okay.

i dont see n and doll having a kid. like. okay. i'd have to get into my headcanons for their dynamic for this but essentially POST meeting one another. doll is obviously defensive & protective but more able to have her walls down. she IS very responsible & capable of something like that... but i don't know if she'd necessarily enjoy it ? relying on others is something totally new for her in of itself & having another being *DIRECTLY* rely on her is a whole other realm at the point im imagining. so i dont know if she could handle something like that. you could sort of say uzi had a reliance on her in terms of doll being biased towards. not killing her. but that wasn't an issue for doll because uzi wasnt directly there. okay. FOR N? i mean. potentially. he's plenty responsible and capable of allowing others to rely on him but hes also. kind of a pushover still at this point OK IM THINKING WAY TOO HARD ASBOUT THIS I DONT KNOW. I DONT KNOW. IM NOT. IM. SO INEXPERIENCED WITH FANKIDS UM OK WAIT HOLD ON .RIGHT.ok. name. appearance. riught. ok.

name? not sure. i think they'd be named similarly to yeva -- at the very least starting with a y. cyrillic alphabet offers unique names so... i'll call them Y for now

appearance? god ok. im trying to not go full character design & think about shapes. like. within the canon universe... pilot's hat. like, actual pilot's hat not the weird baseball hat that n has. sort of like doll's dad's hat but with goggles. worker drone, very tall like both their parents. short, scruffy, unkempt hair -- neither doll or n are especially good at taking care of their own hair so neither is Y. usually tied up in a little bun & braided though, courtesy of lizzy coming over sometimes. hair's a very dark grey with a tint of red... like a super desaturated clay-brown

personality? very gentle. probably knows the hardships their parents had faced & is grateful for their life despite everything. a bit shy... took doll's "i dont need other people" and n's "i have to sacrifice myself to get other people to be not mean to me" and mixed it into a "other people scare me, so ill stay in my own little world." they're not outwardly very anxious but shy away from big groups & like to stay on their own. they get along better with adults than other kids their age. they don't have a problem with this, but they usually recieve a lot of grief for it because "kids your age should have lots of friends!" and this made them a touch resentful.

interests... probably pretty sporty and good with their hands. wood carving, trinket crafting (eg; jewelry, bracelets, earrings etc) are their forte. they have the worker-drone innate ability to work with technology, but a distinct knack for *older* in-universe technology, like clocks/watches & compasses or even stuff like automatic vacuums or microwaves. they like taking stuff apart and putting it back together (probably something from their uncle/great uncle??? what the fuck would uzi ((transmasc)) and khan be to them. in my family tree uh. okay) they like solo-sports (hiking, fishing, skiing etc)

holy shit this is longer than i thougjt. oaky

[jinx-on-mars-19xx]

"It wasn't until he made music with Dom and became friends with him and started seeming more human and accessible that I fell in love with him"

So... when he was around his black friends and colleagues and in a black scene he was not enough of a 'human' and not enough 'accessible' for you?

Right now you sound no different than Megan who said somewhat of the liking 'he was abandoned and was left to be raised by wolves' in her 'poetry' when plenty times he credited plenty both Ashleigh mom and Slim+Dub moms and other black women (like his best friend's mom in Denver) for being there and essentially raising him. Who are the wolves? (This question is for Megan) and... who are the people around him that didn't allow him to 'seem more human and accessible' (this one indeed is for you, tho?).

You can find this info - the credit he gives the black community- in his past rap interviews... but maybe he was to inhumane and inaccessibile for you to watch them.

I don't except you to post this, this is just for you, this is not a hate attack just a fruit for thought. Some of you do not realize how tone deaf the things you say are while having good intentions. There is more to intersectionality, beyond gender and their roles, that you choose to ignore. And that's just sad.

Oh I'll totally post it because anyone who has followed me for any length of time already understands why this is. I really hope you send something else later so I can take care of something but I'm pretty sure you're the only person who thinks this.

I am a very open person who's been through a lot of shit in my life. Colson used to scare me because when I was a teenager I was raped by my ex who idolized Em and all rap. Maybe it wasn't right of me to have PTSD with a whole genre of music but I was a child and went through hell because of that boy. You don't get to choose triggers, only that you wish to heal from them. He assaulted me in my church and left me pregnant- which I lost a few months later. I spent the next decade or more too terrified of anyone who looked, acted, and tried to seem an alpha male. It wasn't just rappers or whatever, ANYONE who had that "I'm a man lemme smash" personality. If you followed anything I've posted about Kells or myself before YOU wouldn't sound so ignorant and tone deaf. If you don't like us, GET OFF OUR PAGES. Stop attacking us and our followers. It's that easy. You don't have to try and convince me I don't like people. I'm a trans man so yeah I like the boy who wears skirts and what he's done with Colson. If you somehow haven't noticed, that's what I focus on. It's a fanpage, not a political statement.

I fell in love with Dom and his kind heart even though he sung some rap. It opened me up to healing, finding myself, and a world of new things. Because of him I found Kells again and started to see how he was around Dom. It was different than who he was around anyone else. He started seeming okay with someone like me and I took his name BECAUSE of how much he helped me heal and changed my outlook.

I'm glad for all the people he had over his life but given my past I wouldn't have been able to deal with him if not for his relationship with Dom. I (and Roxy) don't owe you shit and you sound like you're desperate for everyone to think you're a better fan than the rest of us. You put him down for no longer being manly enough for you so which of us comes off worse? I love all versions of him. He helped me heal.

I hope by now @triplexdoublex has blocked you but please do message me again so I can block you now. This triggered the fuck out of me and gave me a panic attack so thanks for ruining my morning, I'm sure that makes you feel big and strong. Considering how you talked about him you're probably transphobic too so this is the only power I'm giving you and it's more so Roxy can see what you are and hopefully never gives you a platform again. People are allowed to grow and heal and change, maybe you should try it? I know you hate that Colson did but it might help you.

To all my mutuals who already know all this I'm sorry to have to go back over it. I just felt like this needed to be seen. Someone like this might try to use it later and I'm not in the mood to let anyone think they have one over me. I love you all and I hope you're having a lovely day 🖤

Edit to add: How very fucking DARE you compare me in ANY way to that abusive woman. I'll give the benefit of the doubt that you just follow Roxy and don't know my past. But that was worse than you reaching for the rest. You were literally the one spewing abusive rhetoric about him not being manly enough- that sounds more like Megan than I'll ever be. But Dom and Cols taught me how to be a man so I'll let this go like they would. Hope you have the day you deserve!

[bosskie]

2 Years Ol' Blog 'n' 3D Molluck Stuff

Man, having this blog has been a ride... I posted my first post here on 1st April 2022 and created this blog/account a few days before. During this whole time, my mental health issues have affected my blog and I was about to delete it before I even posted anything but I still decided to give it a try since I already got some followers; it felt supportive. I was surprised to have such a warm welcoming here and it still warms my heart. I still had some moments when I had to hide all my posts since I just couldn't stand my own stuff. Sometimes, it still comes to my mind but I'm doing my best to try to learn to at least tolerate my own creations. I feel sorry for being like this but only if it was easy to get rid of self-hatred... I also just tend to only see all my mistakes I have made when I look at my stuff, all the things I should learn...

But I try to be positive here, even I just tend to see darkness when I think about my own future. I just don't believe in myself... Originally, I didn't wanna be personal here but it just happened when one anon asked me if I had more art to show... I didn't since I have hidden all my old art. I have been on Tumblr for 10+ years but never posted anything until I created this blog. What brought me here was the active Oddworld community, the lovely people here. Even I think dim things about myself like every day, I do appreciate your support! Even I have my own difficulties with believing in that I have any talent/skills, compliments are light to my own dark image of myself.

I'll talk more later on this post but now, I'll show some 3D Molluck stuff and well, talk about Molluck... I show first my first Molluck sculpt I did improve today (yesterday):

I would still say that this is a WIP since well, there do is stuff to improve and do but yeah, I think that it would be wiser to let this be now and redo this since this is done in such an amateur way... There is no way to animate this since its geometry is a nightmare... I was able to rig this a bit when it wasn't so detailed, test out animating it but then, it became impossible. But well, the truth is that I do have still made animations with this despite of that... Frankly, the reason why I created this sculpt was my thirst for Molluck, how much I wish I was able to be with him... But this has helped me out multiple times with my drawings too!

I'm still not totally sure about some things of his anatomy but I have been doing my best to figure it out. I also realize that this sculpt makes Molluck look a bit more muscular/bigger than he is (see his neck and head size) but I have tried my best with fixing this situation since he did look even more bulky back then... The difference ain't too big but well, I do can create my own version of him too! I also see that this ain't 100 % correct when it comes to his face too but I tried my best. I'm still a beginner with 3D stuff, so I didn't use the best methods to do this either... I also feel like I just learned new things about his head when I compared this to the SoulStorm model recently... So yeah, this sculpt is a mixture of SoulStorm model, good ol' concept art of Gluk anatomy and my own adjustments. I only say SoulStorm model because it's based on New 'n' Tasty model, so he probably looks like the same under the suit but yes, that naked Molluck model has been my main reference for his body. The biggest change I have done compared to that has been his hands since I love his hand in that concept art! They are just the best hands, the most beautiful hands I know... But well, his whole body is the most beautiful body, at least for me!

Yeah, I think that I have made it quite clear how much I would love to have him... I already have said it but, he is my only desire... I cannot help myself with that Molluck is 'a perfect man' for me... No one else has felt right for me, there was always something off... But frankly, even I have seen multiple people being thirsty for Molluck, I have seen no one else wanting him like I do... None of that 'spicy' Molluck art I have seen reminds me of mine. It's just interesting how differently I see him since in the others' 'spicy art' Molluck has similar vibe and role... I don't really want Molluck because I have a thirst for him; I only have a thirst for him because I love him and for me, it's about sharing and giving love! I truly wish to make him feel good and loved. I have decided that I don't post my NSFW Molluck content but some cropped stuff but I could still post some suggestive things, though like I have said, I see him from a different perspective than the ones I have seen, with what I mean that he is 'the receiver'. I have just never seen him in this role by the others. I guess that this can explain why I have said that for me, he already has 'the stuff', no need for 'the usual additions'. His body also just feels more 'elegant' when there is no such a thing. This is just my preference, you can have yours. But it's just interesting to see how my way to imagine/see Molluck differs from the others. Though yes, I do remember when that one Molluck ask blog was still active and at least one person asked if Molluck liked things in his ass... Might have been just harassment or no one has just published such a content...

Frankly, I do actually prefer his back view instead of his front view, even I have been drawing it more... It's just that I'm unsure of how to handle nudity here... I don't wanna post his ass in front of the people who don't wanna see it... Nudity is natural for me but I just don't wanna make anyone feel uncomfortable because of my naked Molluck stuff... I just adore his body, so gotta draw it... Man, I would just keep talking how much I love his different body parts but I save you from that...

So, yeah, let's move on! I have already shown this one but I feel like reposting it now:

This is my stylized, simple Molluck model from last summer (2023). It's close to be finished since it's meant to be simple but some details are missing. You might wonder what's this style: Back then, I was inspired by Osamu Sato and his old video game graphics, so I wanted to create something similar to his style. I would like to try to rig this and then try to create more 3D models. Man, I would like to do so much 3D stuff... Oh, and yeah, it would be fun to make a naked version of him with this style too! I just have so much Molluck art ideas inside my head...

Oh, and yeah, I have been thinking for a longer time if I should show this or not but this feels like the right place to do it. So yes, I have created like a year ago a Molluck sim for The Sims 2. I know that it can look odd but he cannot look much better without doing own mods... I don't know how to mod these games but would like to learn it.

But yeah, I pretty muchly abused the face sliders here and did my own textures but also found a cigar for him. I did improve his face over time since I also needed to see how it works in the game. I also needed to lift his face after I found the cigar to place it into his mouth. It's basically only possible to create him to The Sims 2 like this because of the Body Shop is such a great tool and it actually lets you to use those face sliders without a limit: just edit the sim over and over again. Though yes, there is a tool to paint your sim's textures in The Sims 1 but it's such a pain to use... Oh, and you might notice those little dots: I just love to add his nevi to him, like you might have noticed from my drawings!

And yeah, my only reason for creating this Molluck sim was my self-insert stuff, even I do prefer him like he is, not as 'an anthro'... I just crave for this Gluk every day... Well, the good thing is that I'm able to create stuff about him, so I get some help even I know that I'll never get him... Also, even I recently said that marriage feels odd, it has now started to make some sense to me... I mean, I have started to feel alright about it. Maybe it's that my feeling of Molluck being 'the one' for me is getting stronger and stronger or it's a sign of my healing since I have just felt like it's better that no one is bound to me... Maybe it's the both. But despite of this, I still value the friendship the most since it's the strongest relationship type, so when the relationship is based on it, it's stronger than mere romance ect. I don't know if it sounds odd or not but for the first time, I actually feel good about marrying Molluck.

But yeah, this has already been a long post but just wanna say some stuff related to my blog:

I have multiple reasons why I tend to turn reblogs off and it's only for my own mental health, not that I had anything against you. Sometimes, I just kinda hate to see myself posting so actively, so I don't really like to see my stuff on someone else's blog either... I have never really known what to think about reblogs... Also, I don't like some technical things related to them, so it also makes me prefer to have them off. Maybe there somewhere my feeling of that I'm just ruining everything, also this community, affects this too... It's at least one big reason why I don't really interact here, even I would like to.

The truth is that I have never pressed the like button here, even I would have liked to, and it's just because of me feeling like it's better that I'm invisible. I tend to feel ashamed of myself, think that I'm a failure... It's not easy for me to be open and relaxed but I just wish to talk about Molluck so much that this happens... I do have other things in my life too but it's much more difficult for me to talk about them... I just feel like that if I didn't have Molluck, I wouldn't post any content right now, would have disappeared from the Internet. It's like extremely difficult for me to create an online imago, 'sell myself', build a portfolio... It has felt like this is gonna be my doom... My own self-hatred... But I'm still trying my best and going to make a big investment to this stuff this year, so that I can create better 3D stuff and use Unreal Engine. It's just for my future, otherwise I wouldn't feel ready to do it. I'm just trying to believe in myself, even it feels so difficult... I just wanna be honest about what I'm going thru since it affects my content a lot.

I have already written so much, so it's probably the best to end this post. But before that, I do wanna thank for all your support and your understanding, patience... I thought that I would probably be left all alone again after I open up about the hell I have inside my mind, that probably no one actually wants me to be here, like I'm used to think, but I have been wrong. It really touches me that I have been welcomed here and despite of everything, you still wish to support me. It's just about to make me cry, especially when, frankly, suicidal thoughts are quite common for me, been for over a decade. It's just like something daily... I'm so used to it. But something always just tells me not to do it, even I have thought about it like over a thousand times, if not thousands of times... Sometimes, I just think that I should be Molluck's next meat product but in my imagination, he still tells me that he would only lose money if he did that because I'm priceless.

I don't expect that people really read my stuff but I do really appreciate all the time you spend on my stuff since time is valuable! I just kinda need to write this stuff to here since I spend like almost all of my time alone and there somewhere I also wish that all this writing could help the others who also deal with similar mental health problems. I often feel like no healing has actually happened but I see from little things that slow healing is happening, like that I feel now alright about marrying Molluck and it only happened like a few days ago. I'm just starting to find happiness thru Molluck but he alone hasn't still helped me to heal. Even my mind keeps telling me it's a waste to support me and I have difficulties with receiving compliments, all support is still helping me.

Sometimes, I still think about this anon's words from about two years ago: 'I am cheering you and Molluck on and toasting to your brilliance.' The other compliments I have also gotten do also echo inside my head from time to time but I just wanted to say that I would have never imagined something like this to be said to me and these words do really mean a lot to me still. Toasting also just sounded fitting for this anniversary, so even this feels difficult for me, because I suffer from this severe self-hatred, I wish to toast to myself, for keeping going, even it has been so difficult, felt so tempting to end this all... But I wouldn't have still made it this far alone, so thanks for my family, all the lovely people who have supported me thru my life but also OWI for creating Molluck( and Oddworld)! It just feels like a miracle that I'm still here.

~ Much love!