#...also I'm like. apparently looking @ a start of a fic where Rei uses it?? is my writer's block finally over?!

[varyathevillain]

no joke but what I really want for Buddy Daddies as a fandom is to make fanart and fanfic post present time ep12 where Rei wears an arm orthosis when working.

I think varied disability aids being represented would be fantastic, and personally would write Rei as someone being deeply proud of something he's done for his family, but also understanding with time that using an orthosis also helps him at work and in raising Miri. with a giant portion of mobility/motorics aids being represented by prosthetics, seeing more variety and exploring it in fiction would also help making a step in normalising disability treatments.

[snowblossomreads]

Day 1: Chimney Full Of Soot

Pairing: Detective David Friedman x UnhingedFem!Reader

Summary: David gets radioed in to check on a house fire. When he gets there he finds someone unexpected at the scene.

Tag(s)/Warning(s): Cop things, house fire, vague ref of murder.., roughish! Smut (oral M receiving, penetrative sex, multiple orgasms, etc etc reader is a bit of a slut [affectionate] so take that as you will, implied age gap)

Word Count: 6.2K

A/N: WELCOME WELCOME TO THE BEGINNING OF RICKMAS! Thank you to @deepperplexity for hosting this wonderful event again I'm so excited for all the stories that are to come!!

A/N+: We are starting of hot and heavy today though! Shout out to the detective friedman simp anon who directed me to the song dangerous game by lana del rey which is what this fic is loosely based on LOL. I hope you guys enjoy this warm start to the season!

MDNI!

“Unit 340 we need someone to go down to Panola Street. We got a call about a house fire that needs investigating. Over.”

“10-4 I’ll head that way. Over.”

The drive to the location was less than 10 minutes and when David got there he was greeted by the remains of a smoldering house fire and fire trucks. There were also some regular beat cops talking to a few of the neighbors no doubt trying to figure out what had happened.

What captured his attention though was a young woman clad in a short nightgown who seemed more inconvenienced than any of the others as one of the cops questioned her. He could also hear her over everyone else as she was being interviewed, and her tone could only be described as annoyed and slightly offended as she crossed her arms against her chest and glared.

Foot tapping the ground and a scowl on her features, it seemed that she had felt him staring or at least noticed the arrival of someone new as she turned her head in his direction and caught his gaze.They locked eyes for a moment, her own narrowing at him before she went back to talk to the officer in front of her who was trying and failing to calm her down.

“Whaddya’ got?” David asked raising an eyebrow in the woman's direction before turning his attention to the approaching officer who held a clipboard of statements that had been taken thus far.

“Two deceased when we got on the scene and a whole bunch of shit burned down as you see,” the man responded nonchalantly shrugging his shoulders and handing the clipboard over to David who caught a glimpse of the man’s name tag ‘P.Williams’ before he looked over the details. 

Two deceased male and female. Cause of death possible smoke inhalation not confirmed yet. Apparent victims Raymond and Martha Broussard. 

Broussard? 

Those names rang a bell in the older man’s mind as he read over the rest of the report quickly to get up to speed about what may have happened.

“Raymond Broussard ain’t he some representative or something in the state house?” David asked rubbing his chin in thought, eyes flicking over to the woman before back to the officer in front of him who hummed in affirmative. “Media’s gonna have a damn field day with this when they find out.”

“You tellin’ me, surprise none of them are down here yet. They damn near beat the us sometimes.”

Nodding in agreement with the other man’s statement, David continued looking at the scene before his attention returned to the woman who was still talking to the other officer. Yet this time her voice was much lower and her arms were uncrossed from her chest as she spoke to the man whose demeanor had taken her original one. 

This time he seemed to be aggravated and the hostility could be sensed from where David was standing.

“Any reason your partner over there is questioning that girl so hard though? I’ve only just got here but seems like they didn’t just get into it.”

“Well, apparently she’s the niece and was the only one to get out of the fire. Both Broussard and his wife got trapped. Or so she says,” Williams explained as he looked over in the same direction. “Thinking about taking her down to the precinct and asking some more questions.”

A noise of intrigue left David’s throat as he raised an eyebrow at that before asking, “you really think she’s got somethin’ to do with it?”

“Nah probably not but can’t ever be too sure with these things. They didn’t have no kids so maybe there’s an insurance policy out there and she wanted to cash out sooner than later.”

“Hmph, well look I’ll handle her from here,” David grunted. Looking around and noticing the increase of people who seemed to come out of nowhere to rubber neck he let out an irritated sigh. “You just get these nosy people out of here, they’re walkin’ all over a potential crime scene.” He huffed, handing the clipboard roughly back to the officer who muttered a ‘yes sir’ before going to clear the crowd out.

Shoving his hands in his pockets to warm them up a bit from the seasonably cool New Orleans air, David approached the woman and officer who were still in conversation which he could hear better as he got closer.

“Look officer I’m telling you that’s all I know! I was downstairs and then I started smelling smoke and when I went up to let my auntie and uncle know their room was already on fire.”

The man gave her a skeptical look, long having stopped taking her statement and more interested in letting her weave her tale around herself. Each time it made her look guiltier and guiltier as she tried and failed to explain what had happened.

“So you’re telling me you didn’t hear any screaming or nothin’? You just went up there found the door lock and could smell smoke coming out of the room?”

“Yes that’s what I said and then-.”

“That’s enough officer I’ll handle it from here,” David stepped in not very much interested in hearing the woman spin a tale that was probably, no, most definitely not true as she looked up at him with surprise at his sudden appearance next to her.

“But sir-.”

“I said I’ll handle it, officer,” he repeated eyeing the man who was silent for a moment as they had a brief stare down before he let out a disgruntled noise and threw his hands up in defeat.

“All yours detective,” the man sighed noisily before walking away but not without muttering something under his breath about needing a drink after this shift.

Wouldn’t they all?

“A bit cold out here to be wearing that ain't it?” He asked as the officer was finally out of earshot and he could examine her more closely. 

His eyes roamed up and down her nightgown clad body before he gave her a quizzical look. Noticing his steady gaze on her, she couldn’t help but smile bashfully looking down and realizing she was dressed a bit light to be outside. It hadn’t been the first time though.

“Yeah but I’m alright,” she answered rubbing her arms as the chill of the air finally registered against her skin and she shivered a bit. “Well with most of my clothes probably burnt to a crisp I guess I’ll have to be alright.”

“I guess so,” he replied. “So any other friends or family we can get you in contact with here? 

“No already called my parents but they live up in Natchitoches so ‘bout time they get here it’ll be morning so I’m a bit stuck.”

“Then how about I take you back to the precinct it’s better than staying out here and I’m sure you’re tired.”

“Well thank you detective that’s mighty kind of you, I mean it’s better than nothing so I guess I’ll have to take you up on that offer.”

“Mhm come on then, don’t want you catching a cold,” he said about to turn around and guide her to his vehicle keen on getting out of here even if he had just gotten there. 

It would just be a quick trip. 

“Oh?” Her questioning noise stopped him and he raised an eyebrow at the woman who mimicked his action before she asked, “don’t they usually handcuff people and put them in the back?”

Another sigh.

“No, only if we’re arresting someone we do, and I’m not arresting you am I?”

“No but,” she paused tilting her head subtly to the side, causing David to look over to see the two officers he talked to earlier staring at them. Realizing they had been caught staring, they were quick to turn their attention back down at some papers that were in their hands. “Well, I think some of your boys are thinkin’ you should arrest me and for the sake of show you may want to.”

The boldness of her statement had him pausing, quirking his eyebrow at her as a tiny smirk appeared and disappeared in that one moment on her lips.

“I guess I should, though I don’t think I’ve ever had anyone ask to be handcuffed.”

“Really?” Her voice pitched with surprise before she tilted to the side as to look at something on his left. “I was gonna say your wife is missing out but…” She uprighted herself and continued with an air of no consequences, “I don’t see a ring! Lucky me I guess.”

The alarm bells in anyone's head would have been ringing at this point yet David only felt the beginnings of a migraine coming on.

“Uh-huh, right,” he mumbled ignoring her little attempt at flirting, if that’s what it was called. “You might want to also make a show of it since you got us out here playing cops and robber,” David said, reaching behind him and pulling out the handcuffs.

He could have sworn she winked at him before her posture changed completely from being open to antagonistic. Her eyes narrowed at him and her hands flew to her hips before she began to loudly shout at him about how she was being unfairly accused of something she didn’t do. 

It seemed to have been realistic enough that it had the officers from earlier calling out to him,

“Need some help over there detective? Can take her downtown if she’s acting up.”

“No I got it,” he shouted at them as he grabbed her arm roughly and turned her around causing her to hiss at the pressure he placed on her wrist as he cuffed her. “Alright alright calm down since you wanna act up we’ll handle you down at the precinct.”

“Hey stop it I didn’t do nothin’!” She yelled as she tried to wiggle in his grasp only finding that it was solid as he began to push her towards his car. “This is fucking ridiculous let me go! Do ya’ll see this!” She continued whipping her head to the side and looking at some of the neighbors who began to talk amongst themselves while David ignored her and the onlookers.

The commotion continued all the way up to the car where he opened the door and practically shoved her in the backseat. It was so rushed that she didn’t bend down quick enough and tapped her head against the top edge of the door frame. And while it was only a tap she made sure to let him know she was not enjoying the unjust manhandling she was receiving.

“Ow Jesus could you be a little gentler,” she yelped as she shimmied herself onto the seat before throwing a threatening glare at him.

“Sorry doll criminals don’t get gentle treatment.”

“Hey I told you-!”

Before she could get her sentence out he slammed the door causing her to jump in place and shout again as he turned and walked over to the driver's side.

When he got in he could still hear her grumbling in the backseat before she was huffing out a,

“That hurt you know!”

Rolling his eyes he glanced at the rear view mirror and he could see the scowl on her lips as he turned the ignition.

“You’re the one that wanted to put on a show for ‘em so I put one on,” he stated matter of factly as he began to pull off from the parking spot, “don’t go blaming me for you smackin’ your head.”

She had muttered something to herself but all he caught was a soft ‘meanie’ which caused him to smirk just slightly before focusing his attention on the road. 

They were only about 15 minutes into the drive when David pulled into the driveway of an unassuming house on the end of a street cutting the car off and hopping out of it. Going back over to the woman’s side he opened the door and held his hand out only for her to feign concern as she leaned away from his help.

“Well detective, I may be young but I’m not a dummy and this is not the precinct!” She blurted out loudly for the world to hear and it caused him to glare at her as he went to slap his hand on her mouth to shut her up.

“Mphm!”

“Enough would you be quiet? And you don’t gotta keep puttin’ on whatever this is,” he hissed already feeling more exhausted than he would be on a regular night.

Her laughter was muffled by the hand on her mouth and she could only nod as David internally cursed himself for getting into situations like this more often than he wanted to admit. Dropping his hand the same way she dropped her charade, she wiggled close to the door allowing him to help her out of the car before closing the door behind her.

“They got you burning down people's houses now do they? [Y/n].” David asked as he turned her around to unlock the handcuffs and put them back in the holster as she rubbed her wrists.

“Maybe maybe not,” [Y/n] grinned tiptoeing up and kissing him on the cheek and giggling a bit at the feel of his perpetual five o’clock shadow on her skin. “But I promise it’s always for a good cause!”

“Really and what was the good cause this time,” he sighed as he rubbed his temple and leaned against his car door. “You know what never mind don’t tell me. I’m too damn old to be still gettin’ pulled into inside jobs I swear I need to just go ahead and retire.”

“Oh hush I know you like it, plus isn’t getting to spend time with me nice?” Leaning against him she began playing with his tie before looking up at him with doe eyes and pouty lips. “All handcuffed in the back of your car, with a little nightgown on. Gosh! I’m so glad that none of those other officers tried to arrest me! But I bet they couldn’t handle me as well as you do,” she purred this time planting a brief kiss on his lips.

“[Y/n]!”

“Don’t be so uptight Dave,” she threw right back at him with a devious smirk as her hand traveled down his front before stopping on the very obvious tent in his pants. 

The involuntary sharp intake of breath from him had her licking her lips in anticipation of the scene that always seemed to play out with them. Him somehow coming last minute and bailing her out of trouble and then her offering to…reimburse him for his troubles.

“Mmm so you do like spending time with me, don’t you? Now,” with a raise of an eyebrow and a tilt of her head, she wore the coyest expression that somehow only spelt trouble from him.  

“What do I owe you for tonight?”

The fact that he gave any of this consideration was very telling and honestly, he probably needed to get some help of his own as he stared at [Y/n] who held his gaze. Jesus Christ Friedman, you’re a lunatic.

“Get up in the house I’ll be in there in a minute,” he grunted as he dug into his pocket before handing her a set of keys, “I need to make a call don’t need folks gettin’ suspicious do we?”

“No sir that we do not,” she answered taking the keys, her innocent looking demeanor dropping to a very pleased one. “Don’t make me wait too long though detective,” she added stroking him once more causing him to groan lowly. “Who knows what I’ll get up to all alone in bed?”

Winking at him she took the keys and made her way towards the house but not without swaying her hips more than usual as she walked away from him. 

The phone call was indeed only a minute long and he wasn’t really sure what he thought was going to happen. All the chief told him was that he didn’t know what he was talking about and that [Y/n] being where she had been was just a coincidence pure and simple. It was the same game as last time and David honestly didn’t understand why he hadn't turned in his badge the first time it happened. 

The conversation went in circles for a short moment and ended with him more frustrated than to begin with as he kicked the tire of his car before sulking into the house mulling over his current predicament. 

Walking through the front, he was met with silence and the warm glow of the lights that were turned on in the living room. The TV that he had turned off before he left was on playing some late night show but [Y/n] was nowhere to be found. Granted he did have an inkling of where she would be hiding as he began to make his way through the house stopping when he found her.

Laid out on his bed there she was, nightgown discarded in a pool of fabric at the entrance of the room and her casually lounging against the pillows clad only in a skimpy set of underwear. While she could definitely be considered the stuff wet dreams were made of for some, to him she was a bit of a nightmare. A very pretty nightmare that he occasionally dabbled in when things like this happened yes, but a nightmare no less. 

While it sounded like an insult he was sure she would agree with him whole heartily as she surely knew that she was also a cause of the grays that were appearing in droves in his hair. The thoughts stopped though when she saw him appear the little simper that she wore whenever they were in these situations showed up immediately. 

“Finally coming to join me,” she purred as she got up from her position and began to crawl on all fours to the foot of the bed swaying her hips seductively side to side as she moved. “Good because I was getting lonely,” she continued as David began to stalk over to her, loosening his tie and kicking his shoes off in the process.

“I’ve been needing somethin’ to warm me up all night,” she finished as the older man stood in front of her looking down at her with an expression of apprehension yet there was no missing the way his pupils were dilated with ill hidden lust.

“Really? That fire didn’t warm you up enough?” He mused while reaching out to thumb the side of her lips causing her to turn slightly just to kiss the digit before her eyes traversed downward.

“Mm yeah, but not enough, not the way you do it.” Her tone was low and sweet as honey as she practically salivated at the tent in his pants that she was eager to unwrap. “Plus.” She turned her gaze up at him, brows furrowed and a feint look of sorrow on her features. “I just lost my poor aunt and uncle ‘cause they didn’t clean all the soot out in the chimney so I’m feeling a bit down. But I think you can help me feel better.”

Had it been another man, they would have probably turned tail with how easy it was for her to be so nonchalant about maybe being the cause of a fire that just killed two people. There was little to no empathy yet for whatever twisted reason it hadn’t bothered him. Maybe the first two times but at this point it was just par for the course. Plus they had to be doing something that caused them to deserve it, all of the past ones had. 

‘Making an excuse for your murdering friend now are we Friedman?’  

Ah yes, he was definitely going to be having a drink after this. 

Letting out a flustered sigh and running his hands through his slightly disheveled hair, David looked down at her before his shoulders sagged. 

“Fuck,” he breathed out before relenting. “You better make this worth my while.” 

Her eyes lit up at his permission and before she could even get the words ‘yes sir’ out of her lips, she was reaching to undo his belt buckle and zipper to free him from the confines of his pants. A deep groan left his lips as she stroked the outside of her boxers squeezing the silhouette of his arousal before giving it a quick kiss. Fingers gripping the edge of his boxers, she carefully dragged the piece of garment down along with his pants and couldn’t help the low moan that left her as his cock sprang free. 

“Mmm just as big as I remembered,” she breathed out before leaning down and spitting on the already glistening head of his cock. “Shame you don’t let me take care of it as often as it should be.”

“Didn’t know the offer was on the table,” he grunted half jokingly yet intrigued as she took him in her hand, making a fist before stroking him causing a throaty moan to leave him. His hips jerked in her direction and a pleased hum left her lips as she began to stroke him with a firm yet comfortable grip. 

“Oh detective, the offer is always on the table for you,” she purred thumbing the slit of his head, smearing the wetness all over the darkened tip before leaning down and licking the salty fluid that had already begun to pool there. 

“You didn’t think me giving you my number was just for business did you?”

He didn’t have a chance to answer that as the moment he had opened his mouth to respond, she was wrapping her lips tightly around his cock sucking noisily as she stroked the rest of him that wasn’t in her mouth. The shocked shout of her name morphed into a loud groan as she bobbed her head up and down, tongue darting out her mouth and licking the underside of his shaft each time she could.

The wet noises of her mouth being filled along with his groans and grunts echoed around the room as she expertly sucked him off with a fervored glee. Pulling away for a quick moment with a soft ‘pop’, she began swirling her tongue inside the sensitive tip again, purring at the taste of the liquid that was constantly leaking from him.

While it probably wasn’t on the top thing on everyone’s list, [Y/n] had to admit that her favorite thing when it came to sex was getting on her knees and sucking cock. Especially the one that was in between her lips right now as she began to suckle at the head.

This caused David to let out another moan as he bucked his hips in her direction causing her to giggle and lap at the angry pulsing head. She was more than happy to be the one making the usually sullen man make such noises if indicated by the fervor of her actions.

“Fuck! You suck cock like a damn slut,” he groaned as she gave him a sly look before she took him back into her mouth. 

This time she hollowed her cheeks in an attempt to get as much of him in her mouth as possible to savor. It was a struggle and while she wasn’t one to give up, it seemed that David was more impatient than he let on as his hand shot forward and found a tight grip in her hair. 

Her muffled gasp of surprise was cut short when he began to force her forward on his cock setting the vicious pace himself as he slid down her throat causing her to gag noisily. Yet she didn’t pull away as he cut off her airflow only looking up at him with red rimmed doe eyes that were wet before letting out an enthusiastic,

“Mhmm!”

Agreeing happily to his statement as he began to fuck her mouth. Doing her best to widen her mouth and breathe through her nose she relaxed her throat causing him to slip further down. And the moan he let out as he began to thrust his hips forward while pulling her towards him in tandem had her stomach clenching and pussy throbbing.

She had to say, she quite liked when he was riled up this way. Hair disheveled, full of annoyance and downright rough with her, that she wasn’t surprised one bit when she snaked a hand down into her underwear and found herself completely soaked. Her nimble fingers brushed over her clit lightly causing her to groan, sending those vibrations straight to the older man’s cock as he continued to fuck her face without pause. 

He honestly had great stamina, she thought absentmindedly as she rubbed tight circles against herself causing more moans and sighs to leave her lips. The movements were not missed by David who let out a humorless chuckle as his eyes spotted her fingers in between her legs. 

“Sucking cock got..ugh..got that greedy pussy of yours…fuck…wet huh?” He asked only pausing his movements for a moment to let her get her answer out. Though his cock still sat heavy in between her lips.

“Mhmh yeshh.” She tried to answer around his cock only able to garble out her response before he began anew with his assault. 

Saliva and cum dribbled from the corner of her mouth as he buried himself down her throat again all while her fingers danced against her sensitive clit before finding their way to her soaking lips. With one push her digits easily slipped inside of her and the lewd whine she made as she fucked herself on her hand had caused his cock to throb even more at the sight and sound of her.

This noisy symphony of theirs went on for a bit, both of them too high on adrenaline and pleasure to care as they only had one goal in mind. His cock was borderline suffocating her each time he stuffed himself down her throat yet she only whined when he pulled out completely from her mouth.

She would give chase like a hungry kitten wanting milk. Going to suck and kiss it before it was filling her mouth again with the salty tang of his precum that was leaking profusely and the sound of his chuckle filling her senses. He could be as devious as she was and it somehow made her wetter which she didn’t think was possible. All this while her fingers filled her pussy that was aching for something bigger to hit the spot that was crying for attention as she felt herself close to the edge yet not having enough to go over.

An irritated whimper of his name left her lips the moment he pulled away again and a bemused look blanketed his expression.

“Oh what’s that?” He drawled, wiping the sweat from his brow as he went to grab her jaw. He hooked his thumb on her bottom lip causing her to lean down just a little to suck on the digit. Tongue swirling around it like it was his cock, which at that moment pulsed at her little action, she tried to muster up an innocent look. Well as much as one could in the position she was in. “Fingers ain’t good enough for you? Need somethin’ else?”

“Mhmm,” she mumbled, her fingers still thrusting shallowly inside of her warm channel as he removed his thumb from her lip only to replace it with the tip of him. “Need your cock, please Dave just fuck me I need it.” Her little plea was met with him pushing himself just barely past her lips and again she sucked the warm flesh without complaint in hopes that if she did good enough he would oblige her.

“You need it huh? And here I thought I was the one that was supposed to be getting paid back,” he groaned as her tongue teased the sensitive slit of the tip dipping into it and lapping the salty liquid up.  

Pulling away from him she threw one more pathetic looked at him, and with her red rimmed eyes courtesy of him fucking her throat she truly looked pitiful. Though the words coming out of her lips were anything but.

“Mmm please!” She whined wanting to feel that familiar burn and stretch that her fingers couldn’t give her no matter how hard she had tried. “I’ll make it good I promise,” she begged as she pulled away only to hoist herself up to her spread knees. 

Fingers slipping out of her with a slick noise she continued stroking herself while looking at David with lidded eyes. Biting her bottom lip and lightly fondling her breast with her free hand in an attempt to look seductive in all her dishevelment she let out a breathy whine.

“Please detective please teach me a lesson,” she sighed breathlessly, looking him up and down, admiring how good he looked with his thick strong thighs that she had fantasized about being bent over on many times. 

His slight belly that had dark hair trailing down to his cock that stood erect and heavy. Dark hair that had begun to grey on the edges and amber eyes that were darkened by lust as he watched the show she was putting on for him. He was fucking gorgeous. And a gorgeous man like him deserved to have a warm and willing body writhing underneath him until he had his fill and was filling them up.

“I want you so bad, please you can do anything to me,” her voice soft yet her eyes alight as he made a move towards her and she knew she had him. “Just want you to fuck and come in me as much as you want I promise I’ll be good. Please?”

He had heard enough and lucky for her no sooner had she gotten those words out the David was on her with incredible speed that had her squealing in surprise.

“Dave!” She squeaked as he turned her around with such force that she was disoriented as he spun her around and pushed her face down on the bed. 

Pulling her soaked underwear off and tossing it to the side, he knocked her hand away from her folds that glistened with her arousal before he replaced the hand with his cock. Tapping the tip at her entrance, she let out a clipped whine before he slid into her with zero resistance and a very loud broken moan from them both.

“Oh fuck oh shit yes!” [Y/n] slurred as David’s hips were pressed closely against hers as he held her still for a moment groaning loudly at the wet heat that enveloped him greedily.

“Fuck [Y/n]!” David hissed as her cunt squeezed and sucked him in as he began to viciously and quickly snap his hips against her backside causing her to slide further into the mattress with an incoherent cry. “Gonna come all in this tight little cunt,” he groaned as he pulled her towards him while thrusting, causing his cock to bully the rough area inside her that had her crying and begging.

Desperate little chants of ‘fuck me,’ and ‘please,’ left her lips as she clawed at the sheets and let him abuse her aching pussy that fluttered the moment he began talking about filing her with his cum. He felt it of course and couldn’t help but let out a broken chuckle as he began to thrust faster leaning over her body and causing his cock to slider deeper into her channel.

The action had her shattering as a sharp wail was ripped from her lips just as he ripped an equally world shattering orgasm from her trembling body. Her pussy bared down on him trying to force his cock out with the sheer intensity of her climax but he only continued his assault on her.

“That’s it,” he moaned still thrusting into her regardless of the over stimulation he was causing her shaking form as juices began to leak all over his cock. Her little cries fell on deaf ears as he sped up, “that’s my little slut…fuck…that’s it, that’s it…mmmh..[Y/n]!” 

Her name left his lips before it transformed into a loud and elongated pleasured groan. He snapped his hips one final time before he was stilling against her body as he shot his seed into her coating her insides. The warmth spreading in [Y/n]’s body had her whimpering and burying her face into the blankets as she felt his arms wrap around her waist and hold her tight as they both tried to catch their breath. 

Had she thought he was done with her, she was thankfully wrong as while he had come, his cock hadn’t softened only meaning that he had another round in him. It didn’t take much before he was thrusting into her again with his body on top of hers like a weighted blanket. This time everything was much slower and less in a rush as they had been but just as good as he explored her even more. 

His fingers pinched and pulled at her nipples massaging the nubs that had her a moaning and drooling mess as his thrusts while slow were powerful. One hand then found its way to her clit and before she knew it she was clamping down on him once more as she spasmed around him once again. She came with a muted cry as her eyes fluttered closed and she writhed underneath him. 

A few more thrusts and he was releasing into her already filled body but she couldn’t stop the noisy pleasured moan that fell from her lips when he laid on top of her. His cock softened yet still plugged her messy pussy full of him while his weight rested on top of her keeping her pinned down. 

God did she love this. Was the only thought in her mind as her eyes fluttered closed while taking in the moment her body buzzing and still high on from her multiple orgasms.

Heavy breathing filled the room along with nosy groans as they lay unmoving for what seemed like hours. And only when her bones began to ache and the warmth of his seed began to cool and dry did she make a move to signal to him that she needed to get up.  

A low groan filled her ear as he slipped out of her causing her to hiss quietly as remnants of their transaction spilled out of her.  Without a word or question, she tiredly dragged herself off the bed and waddled toward the ensuite bathroom to clean herself up only stopping halfway there before turning 

“Dave~” His name came out in a sing-song manner that had him opening his eyes even though he hadn't realized he had closed them 

She stood there naked only with her bra on that somehow managed to survive the encounter and he could see the remnants of his seed leaking down her thighs in the dim light of the room. Had he been younger, he probably be hard again though he did feel his cock twitch once again and he wanted to glare at it for giving him away.

Noticing this, [Y/n] just grinned mischievously as she gave him one last showing before she went to clean herself. Fingers dipping down her body she swiped at her opening collecting the mixture of their arousal before bringing it up to her lips and sucking the digits with an exaggerated sound of delight.

His breath caught and a groan that was between one of annoyance and one of woefully hidden desire slipped from him and he could see how her eyes lit up at the sound.  Giving her fingers one last suck and one more obvious swirl of her tongue, she popped the digits out her mouth cheekily purring,

“See, told you it be worth your while, detective.” Before she disappeared into the bathroom closing the door behind her.

God was she a fucking menace. But from the way his cock twitched as blood began to flow back to it because of her little show, he was sure he was even worse.

When he returned to the office a few days later, there was a case folder sitting on his desk with the name: Broussard written on it in all uppercase. Letting out a grunt as his memories replayed the meeting between him and [Y/n], he had to quickly shake it off not wanting to be fired for public indecency as he felt himself stir in his pants. 

Sitting down he opened the file to review it and the thing that caught his eye was the cause of death and findings. Crime scene investigators had found soot buildup in all of the chimneys in the house (or what remained) after figuring out that the bedroom chimney was the source of the fire. With that in mind, they had inferred that the soot obstructed the smoke from leaving and ended up suffocating the couple before causing a fire to break out.

“Well I’ll be damned,” he muttered to himself tossing the file down and leaning back against the chair. 

Huh, apparently she hadn’t been just teasing about the chimney soot.

A/N: EHEHEH I hope you lovelies enjoyed that nice warming up! ❤❤❤

[madd-nix]

Reuniting, Better Late Than Never

Chapter 2

This fic is now on Ao3! And also, huge thanks to all the people who enjoyed chapter 1 so much! Anyway, get ready to see Lian!

Words: 2,779

Rating: PG (ask to tag)

Lian rolled along in his motorized wheelchair through the small mining city. He could no longer do as much mining as he used to, but he still loved learning about what new things others had excavated from the earth.

After having stopped to talk with Roark about some of his newest findings, Lian made his way back home. As he entered, he was greeted by his pet Archen first, who came flying directly to his lap for pets. Lian chuckled as he scratched the ancient bird's head and beneath his feathers. The little fossil pokemon had been a gift from his grandson in Unova a few years ago, and was the most physically affectionate of his three pet pokemon.

Suddenly, he felt himself being wheeled farther into the house. Lian turned around to see his Geodude pushing his wheelchair.

"Ah, thank you. I appreciate the assistance," he said with a smile. "Little Archen here had me a little distracted."

Archen let out a happy squawk, not caring that he was being called a distraction. Geodude just smiled and wheeled Lian over to the living room by the couch.

Scizor then came walking out of Lian's bedroom, yawning a bit. Apparently, she had been taking a nap. She then walked over and sat on the couch beside his chair, happy that her trainer was home. Lian smiled and rested a hand on one of her large red claws. He had had her since she was a Scyther, and even though he knew she would never have been able to evolve into a Kleavor like his old noble, he was still so happy when she evolved into the beautiful red bug type he had now.

"Are you three hungry?" Lian then asked. "It's almost lunchtime. How about we start getting some food prepared."

This got happy cries from all three pokemon. Geodude wheeled Lian into the kitchen while Scizor followed behind. From there, Lian's pokemon helped him get lunches ready for all four of them.

Lunch went along quietly, as it did everyday. They ate, Lian managed to stand enough to do a few dishes, then they all retreated back to the living room to relax.

That didn't last long though when a knock on the door disrupted the peace. Lian sighed, then wheeled himself over and opened the door. He did not expect to see two old yet familiar faces.

Ingo and Dawn both stood there at his door, with another woman standing just behind them. There was a moment of silence - or was it a few seconds? - while the three old friends stared at each other.

"...Warden Lian?" Ingo was the first to speak up.

"Oh mighty Palkia, it really is you," Lian said in amazement. "You two haven't changed a bit."

"Lian, it's so good to see that you're still alive!" Dawn exclaimed.

"How'd you guys find me?" Lian couldn't help but ask. As he spoke, he wheeled himself backwards and motioned for them to come in.

"We just talked to Rei, who's actually my great-grandpa," Dawn explained. "He said you'd be here, and then it was just a matter of asking around to find exactly where your house was."

"Heh, must be a bit weird to see us all as old folks now," Lian said with a chuckle. "And Dawn, how's it feel knowing you're Rei's great-grandkid?"

"A little weird at first, but I'm just glad he's still alive," she admitted. "Oh! And this here is my mom, Johanna. She came along with us to meet you."

Lian turned to see the woman - who did look quite a bit like Dawn now that he was actually looking at her. She smiled and waved.

"Hi, it's nice to meet you. Dawn and Ingo have told me so much about you," she said. Lian tipped his hat to her.

"Nice to meet you too, ma'am."

Lian then turned to look at Ingo, who had been surprisingly quiet so far.

"So Ingo, it's been a while." Despite the fact that Lian was now so much older than Ingo, he still couldn't help but look at the man the same way he had as a child; as an older brother of sorts who had helped him with their warden duties time and time again. After having fallen into their clan, Ingo had showed Lian nothing but kindness, and he let him act like an actual kid without feeling like he needed to prove his worth as a fellow warden to him. Lian would forever be grateful for that.

"Lian, I'm so happy you're alive," Ingo said with a slight lump in his throat. The man's eyes were glassy with tears and it seemed like he was doing everything he could to keep himself together.

Lian smiled a bit and took Ingo's hand, then pulled him down so that he could wrap his arms around his fellow warden. Ingo knelt down as best he could in front of his wheelchair and wrapped his arms around Lian, returning the embrace.

"I've missed you, old friend," Lian said as he could feel himself start to get choked up. "I'm glad mighty Palkia was able to bring us to the same space again."

Ingo just nodded against Lian's shoulder as he hugged him. He had a feeling he knew why Ingo was so strangely quiet. They both knew that now they were the only living members of the Pearl Clan. And while Lian had long since accepted this fact, Ingo was just now coming to grips with this sad reality.

Lian then looked over at Dawn, who was biting her lip and tugging at her skirt. It seemed like she was having a hard time with that fact as well. He held out an arm and motioned for Dawn to join in. It was some awkward positioning with him sitting down like this, but Dawn didn't seem to care as she quickly wrapped her arms around the two wardens.

"I'm so glad Arceus brought you both here safely," Lian said as he gave them both a tight squeeze.

Finally, after another few moments, Ingo and Dawn pulled away. Ingo wiped at a few tears with his hand, while Dawn used her sleeves to rub at her face. Lian chuckled and wiped at his own tears.

"Alright, alright, no more waterworks!" he declared. "This is a reunion! This is something to celebrate! Come and have a seat. Let's talk." He motioned to the couch, and his three guests sat down.

His pokemon, now seeing that these were friends of his, decided they wanted to get to know their new guests too. Archen quickly flew to land on Ingo's lap, while Scizor walked over to greet Dawn's mother. Geodude floated over to Dawn, who smiled and patted his head.

"What sweet pokemon you have!" Johanna complimented as she pat Scizor's claws.

"Thanks. Scizor and Geodude I found on my own here. They help me a lot around the house," Lian explained. He then looked at Ingo, who was staring almost mesmerized at Archen as he pet him.

"That Archen there is actually a little gift from my grandson over in Unova."

At this, Ingo perked up.

"Unova?"

"Aw, that's sweet that your grandson sent him to you!" Dawn gushed. "What's his name?"

"Clay. He's the ground type gym leader over in Unova," Lian said proudly. He glanced over at Ingo again. He could practically see the gears turning in the man's head now.

"Clay... that name sounds familiar..." Ingo muttered.

"Good. 'Cause my grandson pretty much thinks of you as family."

"Huh?" Dawn looked between Ingo and Lian, confused.

"My grandson called me five years ago, going off about a young man that went missing," Lian explained. "This young man was someone he considered to be like a nephew to him. When he told me who it was, I told him not to worry. It'll take a while, but that young man will return eventually."

"You knew me?" Ingo asked.

"Not directly. I never really met ya, but Clay told me all about you and your brother, ever since you two were kids."

"My brother?"

"Oh, what was it you called him in Hisui?"

"...Was it 'the man in white who looks like me'?" Dawn supplied, doing her best Ingo impression.

"Yup. That's your twin brother. Emmet's his name," Lian explained. "I actually got to talk with the guy back when you first went missing. He's still real worried about ya, but less so once I told him what was going on."

"Emmet..." Ingo's eyes filled with fresh tears as he looked from Lian to the Archen on his lap. "Yes! My brother Emmet! He even has an Archeops, which is why this little Archen felt so familiar!" He then looked back up at Lian. "Lian, is there any way I can speak to my brother? Can we call him or Clay?"

"Course. Just gimme a sec." With that, he took out his phone and pulled up Clay's number, then listened as the phone rang.

"Howdy, Gramps," Clay finally answered after a few rings.

"Clay, think you'll come over and visit your old man some time soon?" Lian asked.

"Well, I've been real busy over here," he began, "what with the gym an' all. But I'll try to make time soon. Why ya askin'?"

"There's something - or more like someone - that I think you should come see," Lian said with a smirk as he glanced over at Ingo. "And you might wanna bring over that Emmet fella."

There was a momentary silence on the other end of the line.

"...Grandad, you ain't pulling my leg, are ya?" Clay's voice shook slightly as he spoke.

"And when have I ever lied to you?" Lian asked with a slight chuckle. "Here, I think he wants to talk to you."

Lian then held out the phone to Ingo, who took it with shaking hands.

"...Clay?"

Luckily, Lian had the volume turned up on his phone fairly high and he was close enough to Ingo that he could still hear his grandson's side of the conversation.

"Ingo... is that really you?"

"It's me. I'm here in Sinnoh. I don't know how much Lian has told you, but I'm finally back on the right tracks."

"Oh, thank the dragons! That's really you! Grandad was right!" Clay's voice wavered slightly as he spoke. "I... I'm gonna get a hold o' yer brother! I'll call Grandad back once I'm with him so you two can talk. Then we're gonna head over to Sinnoh as soon as Skyla can fly us over!"

"Okay. Thank you, Clay," Ingo said as his smile grew and tears filled his eyes. "And it's so good to hear your voice again."

"It's good to hear yer voice too, son," Clay said. "I'll call ya back in a bit. Gotta go grab yer brother from work. Don't go nowhere, ya hear!"

"I won't!" Ingo chuckled a bit. "I'll talk to you soon." With that, the phone line went dead as Clay quickly hung up, presumably to run off to find Emmet. Ingo handed the phone back to Lian.

"He's going to get my brother, then they're going to come here to Sinnoh," Ingo explained with the biggest smile Lian had ever seen on him.

"I heard. You three can stay here as long as you like while we wait for Clay to call back then," Lian said.

"This is so exciting!" Dawn exclaimed. "Not only do we get to see Lian again, but Ingo, you'll get to be with your family! And you're getting your memories back!"

"You're right." Ingo then turned back to Lian. "I can't thank you enough for this. You've helped remind me of my home and where I live, and you've also helped me get in contact with my family. Thank you, Lian."

"Hey, it's what friends do," Lian said simply. "Besides, you did so much for me back when I was a kid. This is just me repaying you for all you did."

"All I did? What do you mean?" Ingo asked.

"Come on, I'm older than you and I still remember how you let me act like an actual kid," Lian chuckled. "Around everyone else, I felt like I had to be this mighty warden, even though I was just barely ten at the time. But you, you recognized that I was still too young for so much responsibility. You helped me with gathering food and offerings for Lord Kleavor, and you helped me care for my pokemon, and you let me act like a kid when I was with you. That was something I couldn't do with just anyone. I don't know what I would've done without you, Ingo."

Ingo looked at him for a moment as he took that all in, then his smile softened.

"I was just doing what I thought was right," he said humbly. "I wanted to help my fellow warden, and I wanted to make sure a child didn't have to feel like he had the world on his shoulders."

"Heh, well, because of that kindness, Clay got to hear stories of the helpful and friendly amnesiac warden that I knew as a kid. And this was before you were even born! Funny how that works out."

"You know, I can remember my grandfather, Rei, telling me similar stories when I was a little girl," Johanna added. "He told me stories about the wardens of the two clans and of the various members of the Galaxy Team, and of the 'Hero of Hisui' as he called her. I never thought that would be my own daughter someday."

Dawn beamed proudly. Ingo and Lian chuckled a bit.

"Oh, I believe another memory has returned to my station," Ingo said. "I think I can remember being a child at Clay's house with my brother. Yes, he would tell us stories about people who took care of great pokemon, and about his grandfather, the amazing warden of a long gone evolution of Scyther. He always sounded so proud when he would tell us those stories. It's incredible to know I have become part of those stories."

"Time travel sure is a tricky thing," Lian said with a nod. "But it's nice to know all these old stories have been passed on like this. In a way, all our old friends are still here as long as we remember them."

Ingo and Dawn both smiled somberly.

"You're right. Everyone we knew is still alive in our memories," Ingo said.

"Yeah, and you and Rei and Sabi are all still here. It's nice just knowing we can still talk with you three," Dawn added.

"Have you seen Sabi yet?" Lian asked.

They both shook their heads.

"We came here first, and we planned to go see Sabi in the next day or so," Ingo explained. "But if my family is coming over, I'm not sure when we'll get a chance to do that."

"I can always give her a call," Lian told him. "Or she might even already know. Her clairvoyance got stronger as she got older, y'know."

"Really? That's so cool!" Dawn exclaimed.

"Yeah, she works as a medium up in Snowpoint. I'll give her a call later and see if she can come down here when she's not busy."

"Thanks Lian! I can't wait to see her!" Dawn said.

"No problem. Now, until we get that call from Clay, did you two wanna travel down memory road with me a bit?" Lian asked. "I can show you some pictures of my family and of the rest of the Pearl Clan. I don't know how much Rei told ya, but I'm happy to share more stories."

"We'd love that! Right, Dawn?" Ingo said excitedly.

"Yeah! Here, I'll grab your photo album! Where is it?" she offered.

"The bookshelf right over there by some of my rock collection," Lian pointed to the large bookshelf that took up a whole corner of his living room. "Should be somewhere on the top shelf."

Dawn walked over to stand on her tiptoes and searched around until she grabbed the large old photo album. She eagerly brought it over to the couch and opened it. But before anyone could even say anything about any of the photos, there was a knock on the door.

"Mighty Palkia, why am I so popular today?" Lian sighed. He then turned to call out to the door. "Who is it?"

"Take a guess!" Lian knew exactly who that older woman's voice belonged to. "My clairvoyance told me you'd have some special guests. Are they still there?"

"Yup. Come on in! Door's unlocked."

[misiwrites]

4KINGDOMS RE-READ ADVENTURE part 4

Chapter 13: takao's obsession with kai Begins

finally! a longer takao chapter! chorus of angels sings

this entire fic is just takao going SO EVERYONE DECIDED I WAS UNRELIABLE AND STUPID AGAIN. FUCK THEM BUT MAYBE THEY ARE RIGHT. ALSO RALF SUCKS and i'm dead and dyinhg

i mean

But I did let Ralf follow me around like a dog, because that’s what he’s supposed to do, and he didn't annoy me so much when I mostly just ignored him. I knew that he was just doing his job. Poor Ralf and his boring life.

very cute that takao is envious of max. oh you just wait.

casual drop about volkov's existence 70 chapters before he makes an appearance in the story

oh hey look mihael makes his first appearance. i'm thinking of going back and changing his name to miguel in this fic for stupid canon naming reasons. anyway funny that takao is thinking he'd want miguel to be his knight instead. again with the ralf dissing. it's a 24/7 roast over in cherrywood castle

literally used the words "euphoric hurry" when takao receives his first ever message from kai. boy. you kinda gay let's be honest here

Chapter 14: rei's magic explodes on his face. olivier laughs at him

aaaand we are back to rei. and he's just gushing about talking to max

excuse me wait

There was an ancient Western folk legend about the gem of Byakko having been broken once in the past and causing a storm so massive that it wiped out the entire capital, which was then re-built from metal into its current form.

well i didn't remember that but a cool nod to metal being his secondary element without him realising. i do smart things sometimes

also the first time talking about rei's meditation, man reading these is really kind of a blast. i can't even explain. it's so like, obvious to me that of course byakko-ou rei meditates to practise magic every day, that's such a core aspect of his character. this is so cute somehow idk. but i don't think my initial idea was that 70 chapters later he still hasn't fucking summoned byakko (spoiler, he'll get there eventually)

here's a really kind of excellent line i've written of max here, line that i like alert

It was strange how he looked so much younger than me but was far more knowledgeable and competent in many ways. He did have his naïve side, born from being pampered by his parents in a loving home, but that naïvety didn't equal stupidity. Rather, it showcased in Max as innocent daring, occasional spontaneous mischievousness, and infinite enthusiasm for life, none of which overshadowed his intelligence.

yes that's it. that's the max. thanks for summarising, 4kingdoms rei who hardly knows him

max is sooo upset to hear that rei's not allowed to leave the palace because of the purification rite. he just wanted to see rei again. cute. AND THEN REI STARTS CRYING AFTER ADMITTING HE CAN'T LEAVE oh no how cute is this for real

this is a long chapter. would have chopped in half if i wrote it now

olivier the rude fuck laughs to rei's face when his magic blows up on him. i forgot about this too

oh mathilda is mentioned here. i see this is where i thought of adding the barthez team to the mix

i forgot myself for a bit what this chapter actually is and was wondering like why do i have this fucking long nonsense garbage about rei just doing random shit and it goes on and on and OH MAX APPEARS AT TIGER MAPLE AT THE END I SEE HOW IT IS i just wanted to drag it out for the surprise ending of him getting Epic Glomp'd

Chapter 15: max crashes rei's house uninvited

so max goes on to describe tiger maple and you guess right. i had completely forgotten everything he said about it. so apparently tiger maple is full of those ugly asian feline statues that have stupid weird faces. noted

this

Rei’s pointy ears jumped a little, like a startled animal’s.

his ears. his ears jump? rei's ears jump???

okay this is just one of those chapters with several funny as fuck lines.

I pressed a hand against my mouth, trying not to laugh at their weirdly haughty bickering. Rei was a terrible liar, and Olivier’s voice was seeping with sarcasm and I wasn’t too sure if Rei even realised that.

max commenting on rei's teeth being bigger than his. because rei's got fangs. and rei laughs like MY TEETH ARE BIG BUT NOT SWEET and max is like oh they're pretty sweet alright [because you're so hot] i'm. yeah this is

sorry i got nothing else to say about this chapter but share some quotes but this one, also a thoroughly fantastic exchange:

“That wouldn't work,” Rei said with a smirk, “they’d all faint as soon as they saw Byakko. I wouldn’t want them to collapse on the streets like a row of Tien Gow tiles…”

“Okay then, I have a better idea – you should ride a bike around the city, just a normal bike, imagine that… Their worshipped Byakko-ou, casually on a bicycle… Or a tricycle, if you can't ride a bike. That would turn some heads. And eventually you’ll be just like Takao, just casually going around and everyone thinks ‘oh, there goes the king’!”

It was hard to imagine Rei on a bicycle, and the thought made both of us laugh.

i feel very vain talkign about my own writing like this but this is 4+ years old i'm allowed to like it. i have no idea what tien gow is. also max sort of implying there he thinks (or knows.) that rei can't ride a bike

i'm kinda. like. this is the 15th chapter of this story and max is already talking really affectionately about rei and about wanting to hug him some more and all. and. well. i'm at 80+ chapters now and they absolutely are not together yet. i feel a bit bad

sorry but this is some real cheesy gooey. cutenes. overload. thing

“[…] Rei, I'll always be behind you – we kings should stick together. I don't know if there's anything I can do to help Takao or Kai, but at least I'm here for you, and I believe in you. And I’m sure Takao does too. And, well, Kai… He’s a tougher cookie to crack, but maybe he’ll join us one day.”

Rei's golden eyes were really shining at me, brighter than any of those gaudy trinkets of his palace. His eyes were such a warm and graceful colour when he smiled.

geez! what the fuck i love the way i write these two. what do you mean that's obvious because i'm the one who wrote this and this is my OTP

Chapter 16: an ant-sized chapter whose only point is to slide in a mention of the mysterious extra tunnel in the west. unlimited exposition machine works

i swr to god i thought it would be more takao now but no. okay i can maybe see why people lose their shit as this fic being more of a reimax. but look………. later it evens out

all i have to say about this chapter is: what? so rei knew his element was metal all along? then what did i write a chapter of max telling him that for. this is bullshit i'm changing this. actually no i'm not because it's too fucking funny that apparently totoro exists in 4kingdoms west

rei is already dramatically going "i miss him….." thinking about max, you have no idea what kind of slow burn hell machine you have been squeezed into, boy.

Chapter 17: takao gets facetimed by hiwatari motherfucking souichirou

max is such a little hypocrite asshole, humblebragging about sneaking into rei's house in secret and then he's like OH BUT TAKAO DON'T YOU GO TRYING THE SAME THING BECAUSE YOU'RE NOT AWESOME AND FREE LIKE ME. and takao is like. i didn't even think of it. but now that you fed the idea to me,

souichirou fucking. being like "i'd like to send kai off to learn manners and improve his nonexistent social skills" BRUTAL BUT TRUE

then takao starts this never-ending cycle of lies because gramps lied to him first. i'm glad he's not above this kind of pettiness

so takao schemes how to get kai to come to cherrywood and he's like…. perhaps this is kind of abusive towards kai though? but i want him so much, so it's fine! hmm. takao. and then he even goes

There was the fact that Kai’d told me not to get involved with him. He would probably be pissed off about this. Probably sulk for a while the way he did back in the North. But I had a good gut feeling that things would turn out fine in the end. There was this weird sort of power inevitably pulling me towards Kai, and perhaps it was a sixth sense of my own that told me that he also felt the same pull towards me.

i. TAKAO!!! THAT'S JUST CALLED LIKING SOMEONE

[charmspoint]

One day I will stop disappearing. (1) the first ask about ships. Red Mars isn't lost yet, so what about Suwa and Takeuchi? (2) the second ask is about ships. 1,17,18, but maybe there is some question that you would like to answer, but no one asked it? (3) ask about mutual. I'm sorry, but I can't make sense of the question. Now I feel a little silly.

Please don’t worry about it! I do these for fun and when I need to get my mind off of things or just want something to talk about so don’t feel obliged to do them all hjbh this isnt your job, I won’t mind if you disappear and miss some. I appreciate it a lot that you do all of them I just don’t want you to feel like you have to you knowhgvhvvh <3<3<3<3<3<3<3

This got long so under the cut

Send me a ship to rate

Suwa x Takeuchi

vomit / don’t ship / okay / cute / adorable / perfect / beyond flawless / hot damn / screaming and crying / i will ship them in hell

I am the only one writing stuff in this fandom so I can do what I want uwu. I do ship them exclusively queerplatonically tho, I can’t imagine either of them having romantic or sexual feelings for each other. And I doubt we will get much more backstory on them then we already got (tho i am expecting we’ll get more from Suwa since his is more set up) but I’m just very interested in the time before the other vampires joined, the two of them would be all alone in a building full of humans. There is also the idea that Suwa was feral for a long time and we don’t know how he got out of it so I like to imagine Takeuchi figured smtng out, he’d be all over something like that. So I like to imagine the two of them simply finding home in each other as two things of same in the middle of a world they no longer belong to. It’s that feeling of home, acceptance and belonging I get when I think about them, rather than any romantic or sexual feelings.

Shipping asks

1. What was your first OTP?

HhHhhH The first one i remember is Soul X Maka from Soul Eater. Soul Eater was the first anime I watched when i was like ???? 11-12. And obviously since i was that age i consumed other media before that and probably saw other relationships but for life of me I can’t remember them. That’s probably because when I discovered Anime i discovered fanfiction too so Soul x Maki is the first ship i remember actually searching and reading fics for, sorta getting involved into  a fandom for the first time, tho i wouldn’t be actively involved until i started writing for Durarara. I still haven’t rewatched Soul Eater in its completion since i watched it that first time ;-; Every like 5 years or so my brother and i will start a rewatch and never get very far hjbhjhj we watched it together first so we wanna rewatch it together too but maybe at this point we should just watch it separately. We aren’t very good at watching shows we actually like together hvhjh

17. Are there any popular ships that you just don’t like? What are they?

As I said I think my shipping tastes run p vanilla so I usually like the popular ships or at least don’t mind them much. That being said I did think of few.

Endhawks – I used to be passionately against this because I passionately hated Endeavor but since my feelings for Endeavor simmered down my feelings for this ship also simmered down from ‘THIS WAS MADE IN HELL’ to ‘gross no’. While I do think it’s best for Enji and Rei to separate or at least distance themselves, I hate this idea of Enji immediately getting into another relationship with someone that much younger then him who idolizes him. Like my man, that’s just not what you do when you are recovering from being abusive towards ur last spouse, that’s just a recipe for disaster. I do like their relationship as friends tho but I don’t like the idea of Hawks healing Enji or being a relationship where he can finally really fall in love or something because that just makes me very uncomfy.

Gojohime – apparently this is??? Pretty popular??? I had no idea until Foxy told me ppl were legit considering it endgame. Like…I’m just really not into ships where the guy and girl obviously hate each other and don’t get along and the way Gojo acts around Utahime can classify as nothing but piggy tail pulling. I like ships in which Gojo is compelled to act more mature and responsible but not ships that make it seems like his partner would be his babysitter or his mom or something and that’s v much the vibe this ship is giving me.

Itadori x Nobara – this ship doesn’t have bad vibes I just HEAVILY prefer them as besties. I like that JJK has little to no romantic fumblings and that the main three can just be friends J it’s refreshing. It just wouldn’t feel right for me if they hooked up.

18. What is your favorite unpopular ship?

So this is kind of interesting thing to ask cuz most of my ships that aren’r popular come from me uhhhh roleplaying bnha for over 3 years I think now. Yeah so I used to be super involved into the bnha roleplay community and the thing is with roleplay that you start looking for popular ships (My first was Tododeku) and then it kind of….goes off all over the place with time. The thing is roleplay servers die out and you follow people elsewhere. Sometimes you stay with the entire group, sometimes you just follow 1-2 people you really like. You change servers, you change groups, you stick by the few ppl you really like roleplaying with and eventually you ship together whatever the fuck because at that point the partner is more important than the ship. With a good partner you can make everything work. I mained Hawks, Shouto, Shinsou and sometimes Tamaki and one of my fav rp partners (we mostly rp ocs now) mostly mained Sero so….we did a LOT of Seroroki. I very rarely this ship anywhere but it was very fun we did it in a lot of aus. Same goes for Izuku x Sero X Shouto which we did with another friend in such a nice domestic au it was great. Also Momo x Shinsou with another partner, we didn’t do this for long because the server shut down soon after but uhhh they did yandere Momo and it was such a fantastic performance it sold me on yanderes forever.

Some honorary mentions of other crack ships I did: Midnight x Hawks, Kurogiri x Hari x Kai, Tamaki x Camie, Shishikura x Shouto.

That’s just off the top of my head all of these were surprisingly very good and fun, as I said, the partner matters not the ship. I think this is why I’m like way more lax in shipping in bnha then like in jjk. In jjk I need a ship to have a chemistry I can consider at least somewhat romantic to consider it, in bnha just fuckin everything goes because I’m so used to it just being this sandbox I can do anything in.

Uhh as for bonus question uhhh

29. Do you like OCs (Original Characters)?

I like ocs a whole lot I have a metric shit tone of them and I’d like to talk about them but idk how to start in a way that would be interesting to anyone ;-; rip

[fireflyfish]

battlefront matchup anon again, i'm now very excited to read the Local Force Users Anonymous meeting fic, thank you for this hilarity

Hello again, Nony! Ask and Fishy shall deliver… some of the time… when I don’t have a season to work on… or Rex to poke. 

This ask and the insanity below was inspired by this lovely gifset. 

***

Don’t Bring a Blaster to a Lightsaber Fight

A.K.A A Weekly Meetup for Local Force Users

***

Han Solo, known scoundrel, smuggler and the only person to make the Kessel run in less than 12 parsecs, if you rounded down, found himself in a strange place. He had somehow ended up, of course through no fault of his own, in an industrial part of… somewhere that was wrapped in blue fog and was, for reasons unknown to him, standing in a puddle, even though he was pretty sure it hadn’t rained that day.

Walking forward, Han could see that he was not alone in the mysterious blue place with incongruous puddles and machinery that looked like it would explode if you looked at it too long.

As he walked, Han could see a row of dark-robed figures lining up in front of him, a few meters away. They stood in a line like a holo boy band and Han was going to tell them that until he realized that he was standing in front of Darth Vader, the bastard who had tortured him to lure his good friend Luke into a trap. And then cut off Luke’s hand because symbolism? Who knows but it was a bad move, Anakin. A very bad move.

Sarcastic comment now dead on his lips, Han Solo pulled out his blaster and aimed it straight at Darth Vader’s heart, ignoring the fact that the last time he had tried to shoot Darth Vader it had gone over about as well as the first time he tried to win the Falcon from Lando in a game of sabaac. Although in Han’s defense Lando cheated and I suppose one could argue that secretly having the Chosen One be the Empire’s ruthless and brutal enforcer is kind of cheating too.

But we digress.

While Vader waited next to what Han could only assume was the Emperor, flanked by some old dude posing dramatically and a guy who looked he got an awesome buy-one-get-one deal at a tattoo shop, three other people strode up towards Han. One was an attractive young woman in a quilted vest with brown hair and a lightsaber as well as a handsome gentleman with hair that could only be described as “swooshy” in white armor and his own lightsaber.

Han Solo was starting to worry that he had somehow ended up in some kind of strange Jedi street fight when his best friend Luke showed up, swinging around his new green lightsaber like he actually knew what he was doing.

Which he did. Right?

“Kid,” Han hissed to Luke, trying to keep a level and intimidating gaze as the face off continued. “Who are these people?”

Luke shrugged a little in his defensive stance. “Besides Vader and the Emperor, I’m not really sure.”

“Who are you people?” the young woman next to Han asked, looking like she was ready to go toe to toe with some seriously bad motherkriffers who probably had at least 150 years of experience on her and her awesome looking vest. She also, inexplicably, had a crisp Coruscanti accent that has never been explained to either Han or the author’s knowledge.

“I’m Luke Skywalker and this is my friend, Han Solo,” Luke said as the villians continued to stand there, looking evil, foreboding and black. These guys really liked black and red.

“You’re Han Solo?” the girl to Han’s right gasped in shocked delight. “You’re alive?!”

“Am I not supposed to be?” Han asked in reply, looking over at Luke very confused. “Is this more of your hokey Force religion, Luke?”

“Skywalker, did you say?” the really disarmingly-attractive man in the white armor asked, peering all the way around to frown at Luke. “Did I hear you correctly? Your name is Luke Skywalker?”

“Yes, that’s my name. Do I know you?” Luke replied.

“My name is Rey and… well… the last time I saw you, you were… a lot older and…” Rey frowned, still talking to Han, and looked away, as if carrying a heavy burden before cheering up. “But this is wonderful! You’re alive! The Force is amazing! I have to tell General Organa!”

“You wouldn’t happen to be related to someone named Anakin Skywalker, would you?” asked the ginger haired man with the armor and sexy accent.

“Leia is a general?” Han gaped, confused.

“That’s my father,” Luke said, also confused because there are a lot of people talking at the same time and it’s getting hard to keep track of them. “Why? Do you know him?”

“Yes, she’s leading the resistance against the First Order,” Rey explained with a stars in her eyes as she beheld her hero in his younger, sexier form. Poor girl. Your author hopes she never watches Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade because that has ruined your author for all other Harrison Ford movies.

“Know him? He’s my former padawan,” the man at the end of the line up of heroes said with a charming, toothy smile and a jaunty laugh. “I don’t know where he is at this moment but once I take care of this, I’m going to go find him and save him from whatever nonsense he’s gotten himself into.”

***

Meanwhile, a few meters away.

Darth Vader grit his teeth and vowed vengeance against the young, handsome, charming, attractive– had he always been that sexy in armor?– Obi-Wan Kenobi talking to his son like he didn’t even know that he, the fallen Anakin Skywalker, was right there. He was right there and Obi-Wan wasn’t even paying attention to him. The utter gall of that man!

How dare Obi-Wan show up now, looking so… so… hot and young and beautiful? And wasn’t he supposed to be dead? Vader was pretty sure he had killed Obi-Wan and immediately regretted it but that’s how Anakin rolls, gentle readers on the Death Star.

“Allow me to rid this galaxy of Kenobi’s infuriating presence once and for all, my master,” Vader rumbled in that terrifying voice that sounded nothing like his real voice but that’s okay because we have that traumatizing Rebels episode for that particular heartbreak.

“No,” Count Dooku intoned, his ominous voice rumbling through the area like thunder because his best buddy Gandalf helpfully volunteered to do the sound effects for this battle. “I will be the one to bring Kenobi to the Dark Side once and for all. He could be a powerful ally and it’s what Qui-Gon would have wanted.”

“If anyone is going to kill KENOBAEAUGUHGHA it is going to be me!” Maul snarled and paced around because that’s what he does when he’s being evil. He snarls, paces and says KENOBAEAUGUHGHA over and over again. Honestly, it gets kind of weird after a while.

Palpatine just covered his face with his hand and muttered to himself. “I should have killed that sexy ginger myself.”

***

“Padawan? What’s a padawan?” Luke asked because, again, he had like a weeks worth of training in the Jedi arts and the author is pretty sure Yoda had more important things to do than to go into the naming nomenclature of the Jedi order. “Wait… Obi-Wan? Are you Obi-Wan Kenobi?!”

Obi-Wan gave Luke that charming, sexy grin of his and nodded. “Yes, I am. It’s a pleasure to meet you, Luke. And you two as well, Han and Rey.”

“Uh… Hi,” Han said, waving his hand a little as Rey peered around him to gasp at Luke.

“Luke Skywalker?!” Rey almost squealed with delight because let’s be honest here, Gareth Pugh Couture Jumpsuit Jedi Knight Luke Skywalker is PEAK Luke. “I have your lightsaber! I need you to teach me how to be a Jedi!”

Han Solo took a step back while the lightsaber wielding crazies, as a wise man once called them, talked to and over each other. Or rather, while Rey and Luke tried to have a three-way conversation that Obi-Wan was occasionally roped into when someone needed to be gently corrected as to how the Force and the Jedi Order worked.

“No, we don’t mind control people like that, Rey.”

“Luke, that is nothing like what a defensive Soresu stance should look like. Who taught you that?”

“Yes, I agree, that lightsaber sounds most immature and poorly built. Who did you say made it? Kylie Ren?”

Han, being the clever and observant type, noticed that the Dark Side users, that was what Luke called them, were all glaring over at Obi-Wan and since Han wasn’t in the mood to get stabbed or lose a hand like Luke, he decided to interrupt the impromptu Light Side pow-wow. “Hey… so… Vader, I know, and I’m pretty sure that guy in the hooded robe is Emperor Palpatine but does anybody know what’s up with Grampa and Pointy over there? Are they a part of your Fist Order, Rey?”

“It’s First Order, not Fist Order and, no, I’ve never seen them before,” Rey said, frowning. “Although I have heard of Darth Vader, mostly in passing. He died on the second Death Star over Endor. Him and the Emperor.”

“There’s another Death Star?” Han and Luke groaned at the same time. And a third one too but the author did not have time to go into all of that.

“Gramps and Pointy,” Obi-Wan explained, enjoying a good chuckle at Maul’s expense like we all should, pointing to each man in turn. “Are Sith Lords. Count Dooku was my master’s master, a fallen Jedi who now goes by the name of Darth Tyranus. He tried to recruit me to the Dark Side and cut off my padawan’s arm. And Pointy is Darth Maul, who murdered my master. I cut him in half and kicked him down a plasma shaft but apparently he shook that off somehow.”

Luke gaped in horror. “You cut him in HALF and he LIVED?”

“Next time I’ll aim for his neck,” Obi-Wan shrugged.

“KENOBAEAUGUHGHA!” Maul bellowed from a few meters away where the Sith Lords were standing in place because authorial intent is stronger than the Dark Side. “At last I will have my revenge!”

“Fool,” Dooku bellowed with a dramatic flourish of his cape. “You are but a mad dog, a tool my master used to bring himself to power. Kenobi will be a great ally to the Sith once turned.”

“Silence!” Vader said in that lovely James Earl Jones bass, clenching his fist as if he could squeeze the life out of Obi-Wan like he did to Admiral Ozzel, Captain Needa and others who out of an abundance of tact the author will not name. “I am going to be the one to finally destroy Obi-Wan Kenobi and then the Jedi Order’s failures will be complete.”

Luke and Rey exchanged a glance and turned to Obi-Wan, horrified at the narrative arc of his life.

Obi-Wan sighed. “Oh, is it Tuesday again?”

Emperor Palpatine muttered to himself under his breath. “You had one job, Commander Cody. Just one! But, no! You couldn’t even do that right! Why did I even order a Clone Army? They spent most of their time getting cool-looking tattoos and painting their armor! Hell! Captain Rex was more concerned about getting airtime and being cast in Return of the Jedi than carrying out my master plan!”

Now Han Solo, for all the grief the author has given him in this story that has gone on longer than they wanted, is a smart man. One does not smuggle spice, coaxium, or whatever in the age of the Empire unless one is clever and quick on his feet and Han Solo is pretty quick on his feet.

Especially when running away from a bunch of stormtroopers on the Death Star. The author thinks he might have broken a record or something in that scene.

Anyway, Han Solo realized that a few things about the situation he found himself it.

Number one, he didn’t want to fight Vader and get his blaster stolen again.

Number two, everyone at the informal Force Users of Star Wars meetup seemed oddly obsessed with Obi-Wan Kenobi.

Number three, there was a way out of this if he just played his cards right. And as Han would tell you, he is very good at cards.

Clearing his throat, Han Solo announced in a loud voice that just barely managed to pierce the din of Force users talking about Obi-Wan Kenobi. “None of you love Obi-Wan Kenobi as much as I do.”

“What?!” Vader barked, looking around for the person who dared to lay claim to the mantle of Obi-Wan Kenobi’s Number One Fan and Nemesis. “Who said that?”

“Just his biggest fan,” Han Solo said again, smirking at Vader. “I even got an official certificate from the Jedi Order in here somewhere.”

“You do not!” Vader protested angrily. “I made them stop giving those out after they tried to give Ahsoka one!”

“What?!” Obi-Wan gaped, stunned. “What official certificate?”

“Nonsense! Kenobi is my life’s goal! My mission and obsession! I am his greatest fan!” Maul snarled, shoving his way forward into the crowd that was slowly starting to form not so much around Obi-Wan but more like in front of him, so that his adoring crowd could all show off how much they loved him and were willing to kill everyone in the galaxy to prove it. Because that’s healthy.

Well, Palpatine just wanted to kill Obi-Wan once and for all but even he had to admit the man was nice on the eyes.

“Maybe that’s why Commander Cody missed,” Palpatine muttered in an aside as he tried to hobble around the bickering crowd.

“Kenobi is my grandpadawan!” Dooku insisted, refusing to let the younger Sith steal away his prize. “If anyone has that right, it should be me!”

“Listen, I didn’t want to have to throw my weight around like this but I am the main character of this story,” Luke insisted, almost elbowing Maul in the face as he tried to get a word in. “And Obi-Wan did spend eighteen years on Tatooine AND I am a Skywalker so if anybody is going to be Obi-Wan’s biggest fan, I think it should be me.”

“TATOOINE?!” Vader exploded. “You were on Tatooine all this time?! You made my poor, sexy master waste away on Tatooine?!”

“Excuse me, Lord Vader,” Palpatine interjected. “But I am your master, remember?’

“Yeah, yeah, whatever Sheev,” Vader muttered, rolling his eyes behind his mask. “Listen, Luke, son, kid, I know you’re new to this whole ‘Jedi business’ but let me straighten you out. As Obi-Wan Kenobi’s former padawan learner, I get first dibs on him, okay? Me, not you, not Grumpy Grandpa over here and definitely not Rage-Face Robo-Legs over here.”

“But you’re a Sith Lord!”

“Does that look like it’s stopping any of the rest of Obi-Wan’s fanboys? Hell! I bet even Palpatine has a few sexy pictures of his from the Clone Wars.”

“I knew I never should have told you about my secret thirst tumblr, Vader!”

“See what I mean?”

While this heated battle of words, fannish desire and single minded obsession devotion continued on apace, Han Solo took his opportunity to make his escape. He was going to try to get Luke’s attention but it was clear that Luke had fallen under the sway of Kenobi and wouldn’t be leaving any time soon. Rey also looked like she wanted to elbow her way into the squabble of McQueen black robes and knee high Chanel boots but Han reached out to stop her. “C’mon, kid, we’re getting out of here.”

“But we can’t just leave them!” Rey insisted in that way that reminded Han of Leia but also Luke. He wondered if perhaps Rey was related to them somehow because it seemed like everyone was related to a Skywalker these days but quickly forgot it in the heat of the moment.

“They’ll be fine,” Han insisted, seeing a break in the blue fog encircling the nonsense he found himself in. “Besides, what are we going to do against four bad guys with lightsabers?”

Rey opened her mouth to insist that she had somehow managed to download Kylo Ren’s ability to wield a lightsaber but then she realized she would have to explain Kylo Ren to Han Solo and she just didn’t have the heart to tell him about that because your author is STILL salty about that, gentle reader. STILL SALTY. “All right let’s go. Obi-Wan? We’re leaving. Are you coming with us?”

Obi-Wan was leaning against a pile of old rubble, watching the Luke and the Sith Lords squabble over him. He looked over at Rey and Han, waving them off. “Oh, no, thank you, my dear. I’m quite used to this by now. I’m sure Ahsoka and Captain Rex will be along in a minute to pick me and Luke up. You two go on and may the Force be with you both.”

Rey looked at Han Solo, who shrugged, and with that they both ran for the fog.

“That isn’t even your real voice, Skywalker! How can you truly do credit to the name of KENOBAEAUGUHGHA if you have to rely on James Earl Jones to sound intimidating?”

“What are you even saying? That sounds nothing like my grandpadawan’s name! It must be said with deep, solemn and regretful feeling. You have to project. Like this. Kenobi.”

“Why are all my apprentices obsessed with this Kenobi? He’s not even that attractive. Now Qui-Gon Jinn? That was a man!”

Obi-Wan groaned and buried his face in his hands.

Yup, this was just another Tuesday.