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Let it hurt until it can’t hurt anymore - Liam Ryan

In life, we constantly losing people. One day somebody wakes up and they just don’t feel the same way, or maybe it’s you that feels you’ve grown apart from them. When we lose somebody, we tend to lose a piece of ourselves, but sometimes that piece is bigger than you expected it to be. Sometimes, someone you didn’t even realize you loved gets away from you, and it’s tragic and painful and that empty space they left never gets completely filled. It has been some time now, not a crazy amount of months or even that many days but it feels like forever to me some days. It feels like I had you just yesterday. What I find the saddest about what happened between us is how nothing went wrong. We got along, made each other laugh, had all the same interests especially when it comes to food lol. And when you decided to go on your own way, it was hard for me to understand. I suppose our situation just finally got the best of us, something. I never expected to happen so quickly. When I first met you I never expected to have you in my life the way I did. You had always been someone I saw as a far off daydream than a piece of my reality. I never even realized I loved you until you were gone. But it’s funny how things work out sometimes, and then again how they don’t work out at all. And it hurts me every day that we weren’t able to figure it out and continue to be as happy as we were. It especially hurts how nothing is the same, and it might never will be again. Sometimes I don’t know what’s worse, knowing I lost you or knowing you might never come back. I don’t think I could’ve held on to you even I tried harder than I did, and I understand that you had your reasons and you needed to do what you needed to do. Some days the reasons are enough, and others, I am constantly overthinking about whether you meant it or whether there was more beneath the surface or whether I could’ve held on a little longer. But at the end of the day that isn’t going to change anything for you and I. I know now it’s too late. I’m doing my best every day to be OK with that. Losing you was hard, it still is. I didn’t just lose a piece of my happiness, but someone who was my best friend. I don’t think there’s ever going to come a time when I don’t miss you and everything we had. You’re probably long gone from those feelings, and maybe you will live the rest of your life without ever thinking of me again. I like to think that one day we’ll meet and grab some coffee. Maybe one day, you’ll change your mind. Know I miss you, know I loved you, know you have a piece of me no one will ever be able to replace. For me you’ve always been the one, my perfect match, the one who brings out the best of me, and makes me want to be better. From the day I met you I knew that no one else would ever compare. But for now i’m happy because I know that you’re already happy that’s what all I want. I can say that hindi ako yung lalaking pang fairy tale, pero sa nakalipas na ilang buwan wala ako ibang ginawa kundi ang mahalin at pasayahin ka lang. I treated you like a princess. I wish nothing but the best for you. Just be happy :)

[lets-kr-blog]

You deserve .....

Sabi nila mahirap kontrolin ang pag-ibig

Hindi mo alam kung kailan ka maiinlove

Hindi mo rin alam kung kanino 

Magugulat kana lang tinamaan kana pala

Magugulat kana lang andyan na pala

Wala kana magagawa kasi mangyayare yung di mo inaasahan

Yung pakiramdam na minsan naiinis ka sakanya 

Pero hinahanap mo naman siya pag wala siya

Siguro masarap magmahal, sino ba naman ang ayaw diba?

Oo masarap parang kang kumain ng ice cream SOBRANG TAMIS

Masarap sa feeling yung araw-araw may nagcacare sayo 

Yung tuwing gabi matutulog ka na may ngiti sa labi mo

At kapag sa umaga bubungad ang pangalan niya sa phone mo

At sasabihin ; good morning, kumain kana ha, ingat ka ha

Yung feeling nakikita ang worth mo

Ang sarap sa pakiramdam na yung taong gusto mo

Mamahalin ka rin pabalik ...

E pano kung hindi?

Para kang nagpabunot ng ngipin na walang anesthesia “MASAKIT”

Kaya you deserve a person who will always make you feel that you are important. Ipaparamdam sayo na hindi ka lang basta dapat binabalewala at may halaga ka sakanya. Yung ikaw yung isa sa mga priority niya at hindi ka lang basta option na tuwing trip ka lang niya kakausapin. Yung isasama ka sa lahat ng pangarap at goals niya sa buhay. Yung pinaparamdam sayo na “ikaw lang” at walang katumbas sa buhay niya. Yung tao na hindi gagawing dahilan ang pagiging busy para kamustahin ka man lang. Kung kumain kana ba, safe ka ba o kung okay ka lang ba. A person has 24 hours a day, 2 mins of texting your loveone will never hurt your so called “career”. Kung hindi siya mahalaga itigil mo na at wag iparamdam na para bang special pa rin siya mas masakit kasi yon. Tell them not to waste their time waiting for you, that’s way better

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The whole set was so lit! Even though sobrang tagal sila bago palabasin pero sobrang worth it. Kahit ilang beses sila bumalik dito manunuod at manunuod parin ako. They never fail to amazed me <3 School is life but concert is lifer hehe :”)

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A lot of people has been asking me, why you. I don’t really know. I don’t really have an answer for that. It’s just that it’s you. I don’t really know why I chose you, but you are the reason that I better myself. You are the only reason why I really choose to stay. 

I chose you because you complete me. You completed the missing piece of my heart. I chose you because I felt acceptance. I felt the love that I was looking for. I chose you because you had all what I asked God for. I knew that I don’t need other girls to satisfy me for you satisfy my heart and my soul completely.

In a garden, a lot of flowers I have seen. Daisies, Sunflowers, Tulips, Orchids and many more, but I only noticed one flower and that is the Rose. The Rose was beautiful. It was majestic. It was wonderful. The tint of red color from the Rose gives me energy. It gives me strength. It pleases my eyes with passion and love. However, the Rose had thorns. Thorns that will hurt you. Thorns that will make you bleed from the inside. At first, I admired it at the distance, to protect myself from the thorns. To avoid being hurt but, The rose was so majestic that I was intimidated by it’s appearance. I knew that the thorns will hurt me. I knew it from the first time that I saw it but I sacrificed for it. I endured the pain that it caused me for I love it. I endured it all because it amazed me. All the pain was worth it. The Rose was you. It was you.

With you I feel loved. It’s your name I crave flashing through the screen of my phone. Having the privilege of your attention and love. Despite all the boys, you chose me. You make me laugh, You make me smile. Every time your name pops up on my phone it makes me happy. You make my heart beat fast. You make me feel new things. The memories that we have - I want it to last forever. I hope we stay stronger. It’s always been you. You may not feel it sometimes but it’s you always you. That’s why I chose you. I trust my life to you. I trust my heart to you. I trust everything to you. I hope you won’t waste that. You’re special to me. Time has passed and a lot of problems and arguments passed too. I’ve reflected into myself enough, to know what I want: I want you. I could build a life with you. I want us.

Forgive me for being so jealous for I am afraid. I am afraid that one day, you will leave me. I am afraid that one day, you will find someone better than me. I hope you listened to my sermons/ lessons that I told you while I was crying because those thorns really hurt me, but I know that these will heal and I know that I can love you forever. That is why I chose you Bea <3

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I never thought something like this would exist in Antipolo or even in Metro Manila. This place is hard to find but well worth the trip. In general, it was a very relaxing experience. This is a great place to renew the mind and appreciate all kinds of art.  If you love art or at least some interest in it you will really love the collections. Each corner is pure beauty and photogenic.  I think you cannot get a bad picture here because everything is artsy and in our generation what we call “instagrammable”. It’s a great way to spend your day. If you want to get away from the hustle and bustle of the city and just want to relax and see a different side of Manila then Pinto Art Museum will be the perfect place for you.

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Hindi ko alam kung bakit kahit natutulog ka eh ang ganda ganda mo parin, kagaya nga ng sinabi ko sayo. I may not be the first guy that you loved neither the first guy that showed and gave you importance. But I hope and pray that I’d be the last for you. Hindi rin ako gwapo at sobrang talino na kagaya ng mga nakakausap mo. Pero I have one thing to offer and that is PURE LOVE <3 pure and genuine love. You know how much I adore you and that you amaze me all the time. No one could ever replace you in my heart no matter what. Hindi ko maipapangako na magiging perfect ako para sayo, na wala akong magiging kasalanan. Abnormal din naman ako at times and also I have my own attitude and flaws to correct, but one thing is for sure, simula ng dumating ka sa buhay ko. Ayoko na ng iba. For better for worse, mag-aaway lang tayo pero hindi kita iiwan. Truly God is AMAZING for he allowed someone like you. You are priceless in any way. You deserve more than what you think you deserve. Kaya for me ikaw ang forever TOTGA ko. The One That God Allowed <3

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I didn’t just fall in love

with the best of you like

the way your personality stands out 

the way your smile gives me butterflies 

I fell in love with all of you

I fell in love with your scars

the way you make sarcastic remarks

the way you sometimes get angry

I fell in love with the great in you

and I fell in love with the “bad” you see in yourself

but the bad you see is the great that I see

because I love every part of you

every bit <3

-this unicorn surprise na akala mo sa pinsan ko pero para sayo talaga. Alam ko naman na matagal mo ng gusto yang unicorn kaya binigay ko. Dahil gusto mo may unicorn din ako sige kahit ayoko bibili din ako. Can’t spell unicorn without U <3

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June ko ito binili eh, 2 weeks before ko makita yung story mo sa IG na gusto mo niyan. Hinanap ko pa yan sa ibang mall kasi out of stock na siya :(( Buti nalang may stock pa sa ATC niyan. Pero surprise dapat talaga yan eh kaso ang kulit mo gusto mo agad malaman :/ kaya yung imbes na surprise edi ayun hindi na hahaha. Di ako mahilig sa books unlike you kaya di ako familliar sa mga ganyan, pero syempre gagawin ko lahat ang makakapagpasaya sayo kaya kahit maubos na gas ng kotse ko kakahanap niyan G parin ako. Sa libro lang dapat natin mababasa yang lang leav ha. Sana satin LANG LEAV (walang iwanan) okeh? <3

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MAY din ito eh, sabi mo nagccrave ka sa pizza kasi nakita mo na may pizza ako. Kaya ayaw kitang paalisin kasi gawa niyan, sinamahan ko narin ng burger at donut oha sobra sobra pa sa gusto mo. Sabi ko nga diba okay lang na kumain ka ng kumain. Okay lang din na tumaba ka pa, kasi di naman kita nagustuhan dahil lang sa maganda or sexy ka eh. Kaya di ako magsasawa na bigyan ka ng foods kahit forever ko pa gawin yun <3

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So may naman ito, ito yung time na may modeling ka :)) Alam ko na bukod sakin favorite mo din ang leche flan (gaya-gaya). Lagi natin napag uusapan na favorite mo unicorn, tapos nung bata ka pa naddrawing mo yung penguin, kaya naisip ko magpagawa ng cupcakes na ganyan. Nakailang hanap pa ako nan kung saan meron gumagawa kasi yung iba wala talaga. Pero syempre never give up pa din ako, worth it naman kasi meron yung isang bakeshop. May kasama pa yang mcdo di lang naisama sa picture kasi rush na yon eh. Tipong haggard kana sa kakapractice tapos tinanong kita kung ano gusto mong kainin, kala mo nagjojoke ako nun pero hindi. O diba love ko to <3

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April surprise ko ito sayo. Ito yung time na malapit kana maghyperventilate sa kaba na sabi mo sa mga friends mo hahaha. Tapos nag-ayos ka pa at nagpaganda for me. WOW crush mo ko no? :”) Pero sabi ko nga diba kahit di kana mag ayos. Kasi kahit ano pang itsura mo solve na ako sayo. Okay na sakin yung simple lang tipong parang kalikasan, masarap pagmasdan kasi NATURAL <3

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I think march ito eh, yung time na sinabi mo sakin na iniyakan mo si manong guard kasi di ka niya pinapalabas at gutom kana hahaha. Sobrang cute mo siguro nun :”) Pero syempre diba ayaw ko na nakikita na nasasad ka or umiiyak ka kaya gumawa ako ng paraan para di ka masad. Nakalagay pa dyan sa note na wag mo iiyakan si manong guard ha hahaha. Sabi ko nung minsan yung pizza para sa mga umaasa. Yeah it’s true UMAASA ako na lagi kana magiging masaya. Sabi ko nga diba I’ll do everything just to make you happy all the time :))

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Ito yung first time na binigyan kita ng foods. Di ko kasi alam paano kita iccheer nung pageant mo :( Alam ko nung time na yon na dipa nagsstart yung laban nyo na parang nagigive up kana. Kahit di tayo close non at kahit medyo magmukha akong FC nagreply parin ako sa tweet mo. Gusto ko magkaron ka ng tiwala sa sarili mo na kaya mo yun :) Kahit di man ikaw ang pinalad manalo dun, naku okay lang yun ano. Competition is not about winning, it’s about the experience :) Kasi para sakin ikaw parin ang panalo, ikaw lang din nag iisang MISS UNIVERSE ng buhay ko naks!.Kaya binigyan kita nito di para magmove on ha. Syempre alam ko naman na walang nasasad sa pagkain eh. At for me dito nagsimula lahat ...

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AN OPEN LETTER TO THE GIRL WHOM I NEVER THOUGHT I’D FALL IN LOVE WITH ... <3

Have you experienced true love before? But what do we really have to compare it to? Love’s not always what you see in a fairytale or a storybook. Love is one of the biggest challenges life and a challenge not everyone is willing to accept it. All I know is hard work and people work all their lives to just try and find it. Until I met this dinosaur girl.. I fell in love with the way she made me feel about myself. She made me realize that it’s okay not to be perfect all the time. PEOPLE HAVE ALWAYS SOMETHING TO SAY ABOUT YOU, and that’s when you need to learn to love yourself. 

I fell in love with how she accepted every flaws I had and still made me feel like the most handsome guy in the world. I don’t find myself or anything about me to be handsome. I knew alot of people who would point out my imperfections.. I fell in love with everything about her. Her flaws weren’t flaws to me. I never thought would be able to love anyone after all the hurt I’ve seen in my life, but she made it possible. She always made the impossible , possible with me. So all I have to say to her is THANK YOU. Thank you for being my “her” <3