artificialverse - Tumblr blog

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The Ballad of Bella Buttons (based on a true story)

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oh gods it was parents evening again tonight..

other parents: how did you do that?

Me:do what?

Other parents: your teenager is eating a salad..

Me:i never forced him eat, now he will pretty much eat anything…except chicken casserole which we both agree is gross

Other parents:we don’t get it.

Me: our only rules are bed at eleven on a school night and don’t hack any important government agencies.

Other parents: you don’t restrict screen time?

Me: you know 95% of kids will self regulate, given the chance?

Other parents: thats not true

Me: have you tried it?

other parents:…but, now he’s reading 1984

Me: he has had a university reading level since he was 12, what am i going to do censor his reading material?

other Parents: what if he reads something you don’t approve of..

Me: i fail to see your reasoning…

Me: you know he cooks too..it’s our mother/son time, we talk about his friends…

other Parents: he talks??

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(guy who is so fatigued) i need to Draw

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Aw shit I went on the internet and lied again, no one tell Buster :/

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Yoga instructor: “empty your mind of all thoughts.”

René Descartes, looking on disapprovingly: don’t you fucking do it.

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Be good for daddy or else

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hit her with the butch beam

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Yeah I’m doing good thanks for checking in :)

Hey Kalny, you seem backlogged on asks. You doing okay friend?

My Dream kalny, you are a good robot. Are you doing okay

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Cas: I love you

Dean: No pornhub in Arkansas

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DM (to our bard): The six cultists shove you to the ground, bow to the massive green dragon, and say, “Oh Great One, we have brought you this gold and this human sacrifice as tribute to your greatness. Please accept our offering.”

Rest of Party, looking on from a distance: Shit. He’s dead. He’s so dead. RIP Edward. 

DM: The dragon thanks the cultists and asks if you have any last words.

Bard: I look up at the dragon and say, “I have brought you this gold and these six cultists as tribute to your greatness.”

Rest of Party: OH SHIT!

DM, who was clearly not expecting that: …………roll persuasion.

Bard: 17.

DM: The dragon says, “I like you. Duck.”

Bard: ….I duck?

DM: The dragon incinerates the cultists with his poison breath and leaves you alive, flying off with his treasure. 

Bard: Oh my god. I thought I was dead.

DM: Honestly? So did I.

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Made a little extra funnier since they’re known whereabouts is in the South Pole.

Saw this frame on a different reblog by @thatssroughbuddy but why does it look like Iroh is using his phone to take a photo of his nephew at a landmark

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The kafkaesque experience of your 50 year old dad quitting his job to be a catgirl maid for the local dentist and his wife :/

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Which one’s the powerful one again?

Trans Zuko is so funny to me. I’m not saying this to try and make fun of people who headcanon him as trans - trans headcanons are great and I support them. It’s just wild because it implies Ozai was out here like:

[Image description: a white woman with blonde hair is saying:

‘I can excuse burning a kid’s face, but I draw the line at misgendering’.

The words ‘burning a kid’s face’ and ‘misgendering’ have been edited in.

End description]