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[aita-blorbos]

AITA for murdering a poacher?

(fanfiction reference)

I (D, female) am a Zoroark. Recently, a poacher (J, female) kidnapped my son (Æ, male) and his girlfriend (L, female).

I crashed her airship into a lake, tricked her into thinking she was still flying until we were already underwater, then punched out the window.

I managed to swim to safety, but I made certain that she drowned. AITA?

[aita-blorbos]

AITA for crashing a plane with my friends on it?

(A/N: same media as https://www.tumblr.com/aita-blorbos/751301328599449601/am-i-the-jerk-for-not-telling-my-friends-a)

Yeah, yeah, the title sounds bad. But you gotta listen!

I (19M) hang out with this group: F (10NB), C (13M), CB (14F), S (15M), and M (25M). We tend to get into a lotta trouble, especially me and C. Because of all the stuff that's happened to us - CB has gotten kidnapped, like, 8 times already, I swear - we decided to take a vacation together!

One of the things that S, C, and I wanted to try on this vacation was skydiving. We're kinda thrillseekers, big fans of goin' fast. We were all up on the plane and the 3 of us jumped. It was super cool... except for the part where we forgot the parachutes (don't worry, we're okay!).

But when the plane landed for us to get back on, there was... a problem.

Now, the cool thing is, we're all from different dimensions, and in our own worlds, we've all got some enemies (well, except F, but they don't count). People who want us dead. Except I have people who want me for their creepy cult rituals. Yeah, it's weird, but I guess it just comes with being a demon.

Anyway, my creepy cult guys had taken over the plane and tied my friends up! Not cool! We tried to get them back, but they got us too, and took me into the cockpit with them.

Now, I pride myself on being a slippery lil' devil. I can weasel out of almost any trap, so some dumb ropes were no problem at all. I even managed to tie up the cult guys! And I was gonna go back and untie my friends too, when problem number 2 came up: I don't know how to fly a plane.

Yeah, we went down. And fast. And right into CB's friends(?)' place. (I dunno, they're like... robots made by the same company? She never tells us much about her Tragic Backstory, but we know she has one.)

And everyone was pretty pissed at me. But I don't think it's my fault! I just wanted to get out of there with my friends!

So, AITA?

[aita-blorbos]

WIBTA FOR TAKING REVENGE ON MY PREDECESSOR?

so. i (robot. other info irrelevant.) had semi-recently ran into the original machine used as my prototype, who had seemingly been trying to survive hell, like myself. i decided to take mercy on it, knowing that with it's inferior model and clunky hardware, it would not have survived the deeper layers (not to mention it was causing a small extinction event in its wake). i respectfully initiated a spar with it, planning to quickly take it out of its misery- only one of us could survive on hell's limited resources, after all -when i realized i had severely underestimated its prowess. upon this realization, i attempted to disengage and be on my way, leaving my predecessor to its own devices. this would have been all well and good, except for one small facts:

it took. my fucking. arm.

this was. rather unfriendly. of it. to put it lightly. so obviously i am now running through the layers of hell to catch up with it and end it once and for all, taking back my arm. i think i am rather justified in this decision, logically, but there is a slight potential for error in my programming so it's better to cover all my bases. please respond with haste, i am so fucking angry

[aita-blorbos]

AITA for murdering my boyfriend? (Kinda NSFW. From an rp)

My boyfriend was topping and he called me a bottom and it made me mad because I'm a switch, so I grabbed my sword and stabbed him to death. I don't think I'm an asshole though because he probably enjoys being stabbed.

[aita-blorbos]

AITA for using up water to cool myself down?

So I, late 20s F, am married to my husband Dick, mid 30s M, and we live on a farm that’s pretty isolated in the bushveld. This summer it’s been so hot that even the dogs, who are used to the climate, can’t cope and can only lie on the verandah. I’m left home alone all day with nothing to do. The sun beats down on me through the iron roof (which is surely a metaphor for how Dick beats me) and I am slowly cooked by the heat and can only lie there.

Anyway I get to a point where I can’t stand it and I get the servants to fetch me some water and I pour it over myself. When Dick found this out, he absolutely lost his shit, because he has to send some men to fetch the water from the well, and it takes all morning so it costs him quite a bit of money. I know how long it takes, I hear the workers crying as they drag it back. Anyways, when Dick found out I’d been using the water like this, he screamed at me and scared me. I didn’t scream back, he apologised. But I’m starting to think maybe I was in the wrong here. AITA?

[aita-blorbos]

AITA for breaking my (enstranged!!!) second cousin once-removed's nose?

(ocs, about 4-5 years pre-canon)

Greetings. You likely know of me, but if you don't that's... fine? I suppose? You must live somewhere very far away if not. That aside- the title. The reason I write this now.

About a week ago, I (19, M) met my... cousin (15, M, apparently. Until the day, I thought I would be witnessing him being crowned queen. Whatever- he's still an impatient ass. Why not wait the last 3 or so months to reach your kingdom's age of majority before your coronation???) for the first time. After a rather short-lived conversation, I ended up punching him and breaking his nose.

Some backstory may be required here. About 50 or so years ago, his grandfather had my grandmother murdered. You've read the book Hamlet, yes? Well, he had decided to take the throne. Naturally, my grandmother's wife protested this, as did many people, so we split off from them. She bore my father not long after. I suppose this really doesn't match up to the aforementioned book, so you may disregard that.

Well, of course, they ended up with the reputation of being murderous snakes, ready to turn and stab you in the back at any moment. And in all honesty, I don't doubt it! The man lived to raise his daughter, and though neither lived to raise her son, the damage was done! The man who raised him was one of her close friends!

While I may not be fond of my second-cousin's friends, they deserve to know that he may be plotting against them. Unfortunately, my emotions got out of hand.

Also, just looking at him vexes me. Who wears 3 different shades of purple at the same time? 3 shades that do not match the shade of your hair and eyes??? Humph.

My friend and ally (18, F), though, has insisted I write this, as when I stormed off afterward, it was she who diffused the situation. That is the only part of this that I find myself regretful for.

And so, I must ask. Was I truly the asshole for this?

[aita-blorbos]

AITA for deleting everything?

I can’t stop thinking about it. It just doesn’t make sense. The woman who designed all of this, who built all of this… she was a genius. She fixed my mistakes. We fixed it all. But she wanted to give them knowledge. The kids, the people who come next. All of our mistakes, our shortcomings… Why would we want to give them that? What was she thinking?

I trusted her. I did. But then she died. She’s gone. The others, they’re not like her. They’re smart, but they… they don’t see it. The danger. She couldn’t see it either, but they’re completely blind to it.

I had to do it. I couldn’t let them do this. It’s poison. The others are calling it knowledge, culture, but it’s poison. It’s a disease. They’re the cure, and we’re going to give them the disease?

No. I couldn’t let that happen. I locked them out of the system. I deleted the database. Every last copy. And to make sure they couldn’t rebuild it, I… I killed them. They’re gone. All of them. It’s just me, now. Alone. But I’m going to be ready. Just need time, and energy. And I have plenty of both.

The kids. They’ll need guidance. My guidance. It could be centuries. But I have to wait for them. They’ll be lost without me. They’ll need me. I just have to be patient. Wait out the mutations. Wait out the quiet. They’ll come. Her kids. Our kids. The future. Our future.

I just have to be ready for them.

[aita-blorbos]

AITA for making special tea for the new guy?

I'm a gangstar [21M]. Used to be a cop, but I'm not about that shit anymore. I'm a different man now. I trust my current teammates, but it took a lot of time for them to earn my trust. Our leader, B [20M], brought in a new guy, and told us to get acquainted while he talks to someone else. This new guy, G [15M], presumably has some sort of ability like the rest of us, and probably expects us to just bond over that.

But that's dumb. I don't know this kid. I'm not going to tell him everything about myself just because B told me to. No, I'm going to make him earn my trust. First, I want to see what kind of person he is. So I pissed in his tea, and then served it to him. It would be impolite of him to refuse it, and even more rude to accuse me of pissing in his tea. But what kind of fool would drink it? How he reacts tells me what kind of person I'm dealing with.

I expected him to throw it out, one way or another. But he actually drank it. He actually just fucking drank it. Didn't even blink. I don't know how the fuck he did that, but it's not like I can call him out on it. I'm not impressed, really, but I guess it tells me something about him. He's confident, maybe even a little smug. I don't know if he's earned that confidence or not, but I guess if B trusts him, I won't say anything yet.

If B found out what I did, he'd probably say it was unwarranted. Somehow, I don't think anyone will tell him. But I can't be sure. I think it was fine. I mean, he drank it, didn't he? I don't know. AITA?

[aita-blorbos]

hey so uh. fairly certain the “fancy pants rich mcgee” post involves real people? considering it’s from an audio that was inspired by a real twitter post? not sure if the submitter knows this tho. just thought I’d let you all know considering that goes against your policy ^^;

Thank you and everyone else who reached out about this! It's been deleted.

[aita-blorbos]

AITA setting off a massive EMP over the entire world?

So, I (62M) was put in charge of the future of my people, and while we were all celebrating our new age of peace and prosperity we were attacked by a massive robot designed to take us out specifically. I did my best to protect my people, however I was taken and presumed dead. I was actually kidnapped by the man (40M) who organized the attack (a half robot guy who vehemently hates my people). When I eventually escaped, I learned quickly that this man had created nanobots that turned ordinary people into robots intended to kill my people (and the ordinary people wouldn’t even know until they were activated!). These secret robots were activated and were trying to kill thousands, if not millions, across the globe. Angry and devastated, I flew to the North Pole and set off a massive planet wide EMP, effectively knocking out the robots and saving all the people being attacked. However, my ex-husband (60M), who notably was not present for any of this (he was in space getting engaged to an alien), came back and is telling me that I’m being unreasonable and that I need to fix the Earth’s magnetic field. However, if I do this, all the robots will come back online. I don’t think I’m unreasonable for wanting to save all these people (including him! and his adopted children!) regardless of the cost of others’ lives due to the sudden cut off of electricity. AITA?

[aita-blorbos]

ATIA for making a joke? So my friend and I where having a normal conversation, talking about each other's days yadda yadda. He was talking about how he went to visit his other friend. And I couldn't resist making a joke at that very moment.

I interrupted him, made the joke, and he just stared at me. I feel bad, but also, it was really funny, ATIA?

[aita-blorbos]

AITA for taking inspiration from someone's life experiences?

I [20M] am a mangaka. I take my work very seriously, and strive for excellence with every issue. But sometimes, I find my motivation stagnating. At such times, I try to find new forms of inspiration for my work so I can keep up with my deadlines

Recently, I gained a new ability that allows me to see inside of people. I can see their thoughts, their history, their motivations and goals. I can quite literally read them like a book. This ability has made it incredibly easy for me to understand people and their actions, which is a great source of study for my work.

Earlier today, I met a young fan, K [16M], who I found most interesting. It turns out that he has an ability like mine, and many interesting experiences to draw from. I decided I would take inspiration from him to make the next few chapters of my story. Most fans would be elated to see themselves represented in my work, but unfortunately, K won't live to see the publication of these new issues. To fully understand him, I must deconstruct him with my ability. It is unfortunate to be sure, but think of the work I can do with this information! My next few issues will be teeming with life. His life.

But his friends were quite upset at me for this. We fought, and I should have won, but I miscalculated. I made his friend, J [16M], quite angry, and in his rage he managed to defeat me before I could use my ability on him. I ended up quite injured and had to put my manga on hiatus to allow myself time to recover. I expected K to want nothing to do with me after I tried to use him from inspiration, but it turns out he still respects me and my work, and doesn't mind hanging out so long as I don't try to hurt him again.

I do feel bad. I was just trying to enhance my story, but I suppose there were consequences I didn't fully consider. It wouldn't have killed him (probably), but I realize it wouldn't have been very pleasant for him, either. Still, sacrifices must be made for the sake of good storytelling… AITA?

[aita-blorbos]

Do you accept posts that don't follow the usual "am I the asshole for [blank]" formula because I submitted one a while ago that didn't and I've been getting increasingly more and more nervous that it was deleted as time goes on

As we've said in our pinned post, every submission must have a title in that format. The only exceptions are if you want to say something else instead of asshole (butt, jerk, butthole, bad person, anus, etc).

[aita-blorbos]

TIME SENSITIVE: ABDULRAHMAN HAS 11 DAYS TO RAISE 13k

Abdulrahman is a Palestinian software engineering student at Al-Azhar University urgently raising money to complete his studies abroad. He needs $13,000, and only has 11 DAYS LEFT to complete his goal! So far, he has only raised $346!!! I’ve seen what we can do when we come together to support such an urgent campaign, so I ask and urge you, please, donate to Abdulrahman and share his campaign widely so that others who can donate may see. Let’s help build Palestinian futures!

$346/$13,000.

[aita-blorbos]

AITA for breaking up with my girlfriend over her previous modelling job?

I felt like I was in the right at the time, but now I'm not so sure, so I figured I'd give this internet thing a go.

I, 35M, and my ex-girlfriend, 32F, are both teachers at a high school, which is how we met and got together, just over a year ago.

This is relevant, since, on the day of our anniversary, I ended up confiscating a… risqué magazine from one of our students. I've no idea how he got his hands on it, since it was a 1975 edition, and this kid would've been a toddler then!

Anyway, I began perusing it, solely for educational purposes, you must understand, when my girlfriend walked in and asked what I was doing. I explained I'd confiscated it and was just curious.

She seemed off, but I didn't think anything of it at the time. That was, until I turned the page and was met with complete full-frontal nudity attached to a very familiar face. My girlfriend.

I was in shock and immediately confronted her. It turned out she'd been rather strapped for cash at 18 and took up a modelling offer for the magazine. I told her I needed time to clear my head and walked out.

We had to do a couple of awkward assemblies, but the next time we properly talked was around a week later at a party we both ended up going to.

She told me she regretted the decision she made at 18 and would take it back now if she could, but I just couldn't get that image of her out of my head. I broke things off with her and left the party.

That was a week ago.

I don't own a cellphone, but I know she's been trying to reach me as my mother told me my ex has been blowing up her landline trying to speak to me. I've been ignoring her at school as well, I just can't bear to face her after knowing what she did.

Now I've had time to reflect, I really miss her, this has been my only issue in our relationship So far and I think I might have overreacted. So, AITA?

TLDR: By divine intervention, or pure coincidence, I found my girlfriend posing half-naked in a swimsuit magazine and broke up with her over it. AITA?

[aita-blorbos]

AITA for stalking my “father?”

I [11M] began stalking my “father” [??M] a few weeks ago after he began exhibiting strange new behavioral traits not congruent with his personality. He has been practicing his own handwriting, and he's been acting… different towards my mother. She seems to think he's finally coming around and showing her his love, but I don't think that's it. He seems like an entirely different person, quite literally, and I need to know why.

I started following him before and after school near where he works. I've been trying to record him outside, as the cameras I've placed inside the house have yet to reveal more information. I hadn't caught anything incriminating until last night, when he… when he…

He killed two people.

I don't know how he did it. They just… exploded. But I know it was him. He followed them to their apartment, and then somehow… I ran home immediately and tried to hide the evidence I'd gathered, hoping to take it to the police, or the PSIA, or someone, but then something even stranger happened. I woke up in the morning with no memory of going to sleep.

And when I went into the kitchen, my “father” was waiting, sporting a new look and this smug expression on his face. He walked with me on my way to school, suggesting that we get along instead of antagonizing one another. But this man is not my father, and I can’t allow him to continue threatening both me and my mother.

On the way to school, there was this man on the sidewalk, and he did something to me to look inside my mind, where he saw the truth about my “father.” He saw his name, and it… he…

The man exploded too, right as he learned the truth. And then I woke up in bed. I thought it was just a dream, but when I went to the kitchen, all the same things happened. And when I walked to school, that man, even though I didn't talk to him, he still…

Somehow, the man pretending to be my father killed him. And then his friends came around the corner, and I realized if they learned the truth, they would die too. I didn't know if they had the same ability as the dead man, to look inside my mind, so I tried to stop them, but… they saw something anyway, something invisible, and they all… all of them, they just…

I woke up again in my bed. I know now that this is not a dream, but a waking nightmare. If I had let these men investigate my “father,” they might have been able to defeat him. But because I got involved, now they're all…

I was just trying to uncover the truth. I was just trying to make sense of his new personality. Is it my fault? AITA?

[aita-blorbos]

AITA for assaulting my coworker and joining our enemy faction?

I (30, He/him) was previously a resource scientist for the faction I was born in. I was working alongside Former CoWorker (30, He/him) studying a versatile yet powerful energy source. I had believed it would be best to use it to help our civilians and benefit the medical field. FCW was more interested in using the power source as a military weapon. FCW has a track record of poor ethics, including experimenting on hostages, (which our higher-ups only enabled,) so at this point I didn't trust him with anything. We ended up having a very physical confrontation that left us both permanently injured. I fled, taking a sample of the energy source with me. Another faction took me in, but now I get called a traitor wherever I go, and my new environment has me still doing ethically questionable work. Was it a bad move to act out?