#wait is walter dead or ........................

[slutdge]

what's everybody's favorite breaking bad and/or better call saul scenes or episodes im on a rewatch rn and getting obsessed all over again

[harmonybarmy]

shauna being like jackie I really need you right now and then sobbing hysterically is literally me every week watching this friggin show.

[butchjess]

a canticle for leibowitz a book that is like a vaccine in getting you to forgive fictional christians for being annoying. i love you religion prevailing after the world ends and then starts again i love you the cyclical nature of man and empires and nations

[arolesbianism]

Now I'm not saying I'm making a dst roleswap au. But I am saying that I thought of an idea for a sort of take of Walter as Wanda and it's making me spin him a bit in my mind

[satuguro]

*ೃ࿐TO FAULT A NET

[ ACT I: KEEP YOUR FRIENDS CLOSE ]

spiderman! ethan landry x black cat! reader

#SYNOPSIS— you stumble across a murder, ethan has daddy issues, you think spider-man's an easy fight, and spider-man makes a deal with you.

#CONTAINS— enemies to lovers, slowburn, antihero&vigilante reader, familial issues, gore, blood, murder, death, sexual/suggestive content (in this part & some other parts), reader is overly flirtatious

#AUTHORSNOTE— is anyone really surprised that i started a new series? no, but i will warn you rn that this series won't be incredibly accurate to marvel and scream (obviously), so if that bothers you, don't read!

your feet moved quickly as you ran from rooftop to rooftop, the sound of distant sirens moving father and farther away from you was like music to your ears. it would've calmed you down— maybe even slowed your running —if it weren't for the fact that you had a shadow. a comically dressed shadow in red and blue.

the continuous sounds of webs being shot at you was the only thing keeping you running towards nothing. running away from the metropolitan museum (which you didn't even steal from, by the way) with some insect man close to your feet.

"hey, wait! lady, stop!"

and he wouldn't shut up. constantly calling at you, trying to catch your attention like some fanatic. it would've almost been cute if you weren't avoiding capture.

you didn't even turn back to look at him, forcing your body to move faster and faster until your momentum was stopped by a web hitting your ankle. you growled in annoyance, reaching down with your unsheathed claws to cut yourself free from the webbing, until you were harshly pulled onto a roof by the masked hero himself.

you laid on the rooftop, staring up at new york's very own spider-man (who was never a problem until a couple months ago, when he seemingly appeared out of nowehere). covering your obvious discontent, you smiled a malicious smile. "hi, spider," you said, before kicking his knee back and forcing him to fall. his groan of pain met your ears as you threw a punch at his face, one he quickly dodged.

"are you another hero?" he asked between kicks and punches, completely ignoring the fact that you were both in a fight. it didn't seem like much of a problem for him, as he was far too focused at multitasking between asking you personal questions and dodging your attacks. "i take that questions back— if you were, you wouldn't be attacking me right now," another dodge, "but you brought that painting back to the museum! but you also stole it so it's a bit of a question of morality, so i think i have to turn you in—"

you grabbed his arm and pinned it behind his back, your other hand coming up to wrap around his neck. your sharp claws dug into his neck, making him hiss in pain as you leant in close to his ear. "do you really think you can turn me in?" your hand let go of his neck but remained close to his face, your pointer finger coming to play with the edge of his mask. you pulled it up, only making it halfway up his face, before he broke free from your grasp.

but once he turned around, you were already gone.

some say that when your father died, the rich people of new york were finally able to breathe. finally, their endless valuables were finally safe, their priceless collections of stolen art, their rows of cars enough to pay any college kid's tuition, and their bank accounts were now all free from his iron grasp. gone was the man who had taken what he wanted and got it, gone was any trace of his legacy or his family; walter hardy was dead.

he always claimed that of all the valuables in his hands had taken, you were his most prized possession. the one person he would lay down his life for, and to have him gone.. it was all too unfair. all too wrong for him to die trying to get back to his daughter.

so that was why you had taken his place. black cat no longer became something policemen and journalists used to reference your father. that title was something you chose to share with him, because as policemen talked over their little radios about the burglary on west 81st street, you were already miles away, listening to their pathetic voices over the radio.

it was halloween in new york, and while many homeowners chose to stay home and tend to their candy duty, others were off partying at their friends' houses, oblivious to the fact that you had already deactivated the alarm to their home. three houses in the span of one night; you were sure that your greed would be your downfall one day.

but as you raised your hand up to the moon, watching how the rays of light danced along your wrist, you knew in your heart that your greed ran deeper than simple wants. you had your reasons.

a blood curdling scream met your ears, making you hurriedly shove the jewels into a pack and unsheathe your claws, ready to attack. walked near the edge of the building, the squelching sound of blood reached your ears, making you all the more on edge as you peered off the side just in time to watch a man shove a mask (the same mask from that one movie, stab) into his bag and turn a corner.

your eyes focused on the woman in yellow, dead and seated against the wall with blood pouring from her chest like a fountain. not a sound was made as you climbed down the wall and landed on your feet, cautious as you stepped closer to the unresponsive body.

"fuckin' asshole," you murmured as you observed the body, eyebrows furrowing. the woman, blonde and pretty, looked familiar to you. leaning down to take a closer look at her face (and careful not to step in the growing pool of blood around her), your eyes widened when you fully took in your features.

that was a film professor at your college.

wordlessly, you pulled out your phone and called a number you've never typed in your life.

"manhattan police department," the policeman stated.

"laura crane was just murdered in front of a manhattan bar." and with a click, you hung up.

the sound of that familiar thwip and landing feet made detective bailey roll his eyes in annoyance. just when they had gotten the reporters and journalists in control— a certain masked individual just had to make an appearance. "you aren't supposed to be here," he said in annoyance, turning to look at the masked hero.

"don't you know my m.o by now? like, isn't that your job?" spider-man asked with a cock of his head, obviously enjoying his teasing. "but you can't really.. not allow me to be here. i'm here to help, after all."

"i'm not letting some kid help," detective bailey practically growled, but the hero was already pushing past him to look at the body.

from beneath the mask, ethan hid his shock at the sight of one of his college's professors, dead and staring blankly into empty space. as if constantly being around his estranged his father wasn't enough; now a professor from his college was dead.

"what? bug man finally ran out of things to say?" detective bailey asked snarkily, making ethan snap out of his stupor.

"no, da— detective," ethan said in a faux matter-of-fact voice, squatting down to look closer at the dead body. he almost cringed at the slip up he just made; if only his father knew. "can't a man observe in silence?"

it wasn't like ethan had planned his superhero life out. he had moved to new york right after his brother's death for college, and being desperate to leave his brother's horrible crimes behind, he changed his last name. calls to his dad and his sister became texts. visits became nonexistent. even after he was bitten and took on the superhero roll he was desperate to move on, and right when he believed he finally was, his dad and sister moved to new york.

ethan didn't tell any of his friends that he was related to richie, nor did he tell them that he was the detective's kid. all they knew was that quinn was his sister, and while it hurt to pretend as though richie never existed, it was for the best. he left that life behind him, and quinn seemed to respect that at least.

"how'd you find her?" ethan asked a nearby cop.

"anonymous tip around the time she was murdered."

his eyes took in the gruesome scene in front of him. his eyes drifted to professor crane's blank face, before following the splashes of blood on the brick behind her. his eyes squinted as he continued to look up the wall, the dots connecting when he saw familiar claw marks above the body. they were faint, so faint, that if ethan hadn't seen them before, then he was sure that the police wouldn't have.

he raised his hand, and with another thwip of his webs, he was gone.

ethan was searching for any sign of you. a part of him hoped that you weren't within the confines of your home hiding behind your civilian name. there was a possibility that you helped kill the professor. maybe you were an accomplice. regardless of your role in it all, ethan was sure that you had seen something and chose to keep it to yourself. you had your own reasons for doing so; you believed you were far more clever than anyone. maybe you were.

the scratches on the walls were something you left behind. ethan knew that; he had literally been choked by those claws of yours when he first took up his job as a hero. he didn't want to believe that you you were quicker than him, but the fact that you had gotten away.. to say that he wasn't annoyed by it would be a lie.

he later learned who you were because of his father during one of their awkward dinners. the black cat.

he hadn't invited quinn this time. it was as though he was trying to strictly have some father-son time with ethan; some pathetic attempt at reconnecting, he assumed. if reconnecting meant taking him out to a thai restaurant and only talking about his job or richie and never asking ethan anything beyond the, "how's college?" question.

but something within his father's ramble about work had caught ethan's attention. home burglaries were a huge problem, that much ethan knew, but this had been the first time he ever heard his father talk about it; much less talk about who he suspects had done it.

"they call her black cat. witnesses have only ever seen enough of her to know she's a lady—"

"who do you think she is?" ethan asked, unable to stop himself as he leaned forward in his chair. so that was who he caught running along the roofs of new york. the one person who had gotten away from him.

"some fan of the original black cat, walter hardy. either that," his father put a forkful of pad thai in his mouth, chewing and swallowing, "or his daughter. there's no record of them, though."

"do you think they're the ones who stole from all those houses?"

"that's all i'm saying about the subject, ethan," his father said sternly, looking him up and down suspiciously. "just eat your food."

it didn't take much for you to catch yourself up on the stab murders. you had only heard a little bit about it; not because you lived under a rock, but because you didn't care. not until now, at least.

tara and sam carpenter. tara was in your psych class at blackmore university; you had talked to her enough times that she was probably the closest person you had to a 'friend,' as off as it sounded. you had a similar humor and she wasn't the type to pry over your past (which made sense now, after you scrolled mindlessly through your phone to catch up on the continuous murders).

that was why you were watching their apartment building from the building right in front of it. you had only seen them through their window, but at least you knew they were alive. on any other day you would've called anyone in your position creepy, but you considered this to be lawful stalking.

truthfully, you weren't sure why you were doing this. maybe you had gotten soft ever since you started college. maybe you were bored.

you toyed with a golden locket you had stolen that night, eyes set on their forms moving in and out of sight. you were so focused on them, something akin to worry thrumming through your veins until a web hit your back and dragged you away from the edge of the building. your back scratched across the roof floor, and as you looked up, you saw the familiar red and blue suit you had only ever seen from afar.

“hi, kitty,” spider-man said, almost smiling.

you practically hissed at the sight of him, your hands making quick work of unsheathing your claws as you narrowly dodged another web. you moved quickly and kicked him in the face, letting him hit the ground for just a second before you were straddling, legs tight around him as you grabbed his hands and held it above him. your claws came close to his wrists, the shining metal threatening to break and hurt his web makers.

"oh, spider. i didn't know you liked me enough to stalk me." you smiled wickedly, pressing the metal closer to his wrists. you could feel something bulky underneath his suit, and your malicious grin only grew as you pressed harder against it.

"i don't like you," the super hero said annoyedly, making you scoff in amusement.

"are you sure?" you leaned closer to him, practically touching your nose against his mask. "then why aren't you fighting back right now?" you sent him one last grin before your hand left his wrists. you stood up, not even bothering to offer him a hand as you let your claws come out fully, one of your hands reaching for your gun. "what do you want?"

"i needed to ask you questions about the murder of laura crane," spider-man grumbled, standing up and crossing his arms at you. he looked at the apartment building before glancing back at you, the eyes of his mask narrowing. "why're you watching tara and sam's apartment?"

"why do you know that tara and sam live there?" you fired back, raising a brow. it was moments like these where you were happy you had a mask that at least covered half your face; the more you heard the spider-boy speak, the more you noticed how young his voice sounded. what if he went to your college? what if he was friends with them?

"because based on their history, they're vulnerable to attacks. i know that— being the friendly neighborhood spiderman ‘n all," he said, and you swore he rolled his eyes. "but it doesn't make sense for a criminal like you—"

"that's unnecessarily rude."

"to be watching them.” he looked you up and down, eyes seemingly lingering on your grappling hook and pack of god knows what that were strapped to your sides. the hero’s head then snapped up to look at you. “did you kill her? laura crane?” even he seemed unsure by his own question, the uncertainty in his tone making you shrug nonchalantly.

"do you think i did?" you asked, "you seem unsure yourself."

a pause. "no, i don't. but you know something, and you need to tell me what it is."

you glanced at the apartment building before looking down at your nails, absentmindedly observing them. "what's in it for me?" you asked, not even looking up at new york's favorite hero.

"i don't bring you to the police."

"as if you could do that before," you scoffed, rolling your eyes. you heard him exhale slowly, a smirk appearing on your face at the sound. you were getting to him; with every snarky comment, you pissed him off more and more. and the sadistic part of you loved it. "don't you remember? you couldn't even catch me the first time. sad, isn't it?"

"i'm not gonna make that same mistake again," he said firmly, walking closer to you. stiffly, he brought his gloved hand out. "you tell me what you know and you help me—"

"well, don't word it like that," you muttered. "i'm only telling you information, spider. i'm not being your stupid sidekick."

"you aren't," he said, "but since you're such a well known felon, you could help me figure out who's the murderer. see if they're a criminal, if they were hired by anyone, anything." he sighed. "you help me, and i let you go. deal?"

warily, you looked at him up and down. you weren't one to make deals with anyone, much less a masked hero who was loved by practically everyone. but you found yourself wrapping your black gloved hand around his and shaking it once. "fine."

ACT II, ACT III, ACT IV, ACT V, EPILOGUE

#AUTHOR'S NOTE— feel free to ask to be on the taglist! i'm also sorry for all the typos lol

[tokoyamisstuff]

f! Reader | no warnings

They're all 100% meant to be girl dads. I can't explain why, it'd just be so cute. Literally the safest baby on earth.

Alucard

"I'd trade anything I have just for a child with your eyes."

Sis, that man is dead. 😭 I doubt even with his powers that's in his range of possibility.

No seriously, you'll probably voice your wish metaphorically, meaning it as a compliment, but it will throw him into a full blown existential crisis. He hates not being able to provide you with whatever you want, after all.

The suggestion alone wakes a desire in him that he never even thought about before. He'll secretly dwell in self-pity, fantasizing about what it'd be like.

At some point, he cannot bear that it'd stay a mere dream and suggest adoption.

Anderson

"Huh? *points to some orphans playing in the background* Don't we have enough already?"

Takes him a moment to understand the gravity of your words. Error. Brain stopped working.

Even if you're already long in a relationship/have been intimate with each other, he'll get adorably bashful at the thought. Is shocked how excited the thought of your belly growing round with his child makes him.

I don't think he's entirely opposed to the idea, but he honestly sees all of the orphans as his kids. There's already so many children without a family that need love and care out there, right?

Well, in the end the circumstances would easily allow it, and he's got enough experience. One more certainly won't hurt.

The Captain

...alright? Doesn't need to be told twice. He is the kind of guy that just goes along with everything his spouse says.

Not to sound indecent but he's a man on a mission, so prepare to be dragged into the next best place to fuck at any given time. Welp, that's how he found out he's got a breeding kink.

Gets even more clingy and openly affectionate than usual. Seriously, he can't wait until it finally happens, he might even be more thrilled than you are.

Walter

"My dear, you have no clue how much your words mean to me."

Delighted and overjoyed. It's been a great wish his entire life, but due to the course of his life he gave up on this naive hope years ago. To ever think he'd be given this chance, and with you of all people...he's truly blessed.

Would be prepared for every eventuality and literally carry you on his hands. You're used to being coddled by him, but this is some queen treatment right here.

His gratitude knows no limits. You'll forever be reminded of how much your family and your willingness to carry this child means to him.

Maxwell

"Wha- why? Am I not enough for you?"

Ugh. Children? He can barely tolerate dealing with people in general. Seriously, you should know him better than that.

Still, he's surprisingly cooperative. If you insist, guess it can't hurt as long as they turn out like you...

The closer the due-date however, the greater his panic and regret. Doesn't think he's cut out to be a father.

Definetly cries like a dog when holding his child for the first time. It's the most precious thing he's ever seen and he ends up being the most loving parent, thriving to give them everything he had lacked as a child himself.

Endlessly showers you in praise for gifting him this miracle, and having convinced him to the best decision of his life. This probably won't be the only child you'll have.

[acapelladitty]

When The Lights Go Out: Riddler

Summary: Richard Madison is a crook but a strange encounter with a man calling himself Edward Nygma may prove to be his undoing.

Part 1: When The Lights Go Out: Scarecrow

AO3 Link ☆ Fic Masterlist

The miraculous release of Walter Johnstone from his asylum incarceration was not the only odd thing to have occurred in Gotham that day. Nor would it be the last.

It was certainly a day that Richard Madison was never likely to forget.

If you asked the average person to describe Richard Madison they would have a host of phrases ready to spring forth in his praise. As sweet as sugar, one might claim. Honest as they come, another would cry. A good man with a good heart. However, there were those who saw another side to the man and those individuals would quietly lament his misdeeds and misgivings.

Both opinions are entirely valid to their holders, as all opinions are, however those who believed in him were only witness to the facade which he presented to the world.

To put it simply, Richard Madison was a crook.

Oh, how people loved being around Richard. They whispered promises in his ears, slipped offerings into his pockets, and overall doted on him in exchange for the opportunity to engage. To have their needs met.

And he was never a man to deny the people their needs.

When it suited him.

Emerging from the elevator to his private office, his shoulder clicked as he stretched his arms before him to prepare for the next few hours of sitting at his computer and running his small empire from the comfort of his favourite chair.

However, an unexpected sight stopped him dead in his tracks.

Standing in his office as though he belonged there, lounged a suited man. His body was on the thinner side and even from this distance Richard could tell that the bottle green suit, expertly styled as it cinched his frame, was cut from expensive cloth. Boyish features shone from a face which could not have been a day over forty and his appearance was made all the more striking by the shock of flame red hair which sat atop his head, mostly covered by a lurid green bowler hat which perfectly matched the shade of his suit.

“Richard Madison!” The man exclaimed in a showman voice, his excitement radiating from him in waves. “In the flesh! The man of the hour!”

Reaching out as he approached Richard’s stunned position, he gripped his hand in a firm grasp before shaking with an almost comedic level of effort. His arm swinging up and down in the grasp of the madman, Richard politely let go before hiding his hand within his pocket to prevent any further touching.

“Who are you?” Richard asked. This was his private office and absolutely no one got in here without first jumping through a series of hoops designed to keep out any 'undesirables'. “And what the hell are you doing here?” He allowed his shock to manifest as anger as he roared at the red-haired man.

“Lovely office,” throwing an arm out with great flourish, the man ignored the open aggression to gesture wildly around the room, “you must tell me who your decorator is.”

The stark minimalism of his office stared back at him as Richard's eyes swept the room. His room was boring, intentionally designed as such, so was he joking?

“Look, buddy, I don't thin-” cutting himself off, Richard clenched and unclenched his fist as he repeated his earlier question. “Who are hell are you?!”

“My name is Edward Nygma.” Flashing a smile, Edward dropped his head in a dramatic nod and allowed the green bowler hat to topple from his scalp and into his waiting hands before tucking it below his arm. “It's a pleasure to meet you, Mr. Madison. May I call you Richard?”

Now exposed, his red hair was perfectly coiffed into an old-fashioned style which felt very out of place in the modern office.

“I suppose.”

“What about Dick?”

Pursing his lips as his eyes narrowed, Richard was unable to tell if this man was mocking him or his earnest manner was genuine.

“I usually insist on Richard.”

“Then feel free to call me Edward.” Edward answered. “And to answer your earlier question, I am here to make you an offer which I know you will be unable to resist. We are both men of knowledge and money, so I know that you will want to hear what I have to say.”

“I’m not a trader.” Richard spat back, the surreal nature of this meeting making his aggression feel more performative that anything. “If you want me to invest in some shit you’re cooking up then go to Wall Street and pitch to the sons of bitches there.”

“Oh, I met the fools at Wall Street. Quite a long time ago.” Smirking as lips curled into a smile, Edward flashed his white teeth. “I gave them all the clues and all the opportunities to be honest men and they chose to ignore me. And then? Can you believe it? BANG!”

At this, Richard jumped in place as Edward smacked his hand against his thigh with some force.

“It all came crashing down. The Wall Street Crash, they called it. More than a few brains came to decorate the nearby paving after that, but they can't say they hadn't been warned. I gave them every chance.”

He's definitely mad, Richard thought. Edward did not look a day over forty and yet he had the gall to claim that he was present for the Wall Street collapse in the 30's?

“Talking like that will get you locked up in Arkham.” Richard warned.

“Oh no,” Edward exclaimed, “oh no, no, no! That would never do! I am far too intelligent for that and besides,” leaning in close as though divulging some information that only he was privy to, the green of Edward’s eyes twinkled madly for a moment, “an old friend has already made himself comfortable in those harrowed halls. It would be rude for me intrude on his delicate work.”

“You have connections in Arkham?” Such things were not unheard of and Richard himself had at least one guard on his payroll to ensure that the odd piece of information here and there fell into his hands. “Staff or guests?” He added.

“Staff today could be guests tomorrow and vice-versa. Let's not judge people based on their current position, particularly when that position is fragile at best. Fantastic things are afoot in Gotham right beneath your nose,” Edward insisted, “and my associates and I are here to see what she has to offer. So much filth and rot and chaos all wrapped in a pretty package of gothic architecture and urban landscaping.”

“Associates?”

“Oh, don't you worry, Richard. You are very unlikely to ever meet them as we tend to stick to our roles somewhat rigidly.”

“I need to make a phone call.” Richard interjected quickly. “Excuse me.”

Quickly retreating back to the doors of the elevator, Richard snatched his mobile from his suit pocket and quickly hit one of the numbers on his speed dial. This man, Edward, seemed to have decent connections and money to his name but he wanted to be sure before moving any further.

To his luck, his secretary picked up after only two rings.

“Hello, Richard Madison’s office. How may I direct your call?” Came a feminine droll from the other end of the line.

“Hey, Sam.” Relieved to hear a familiar voice, Richard continued. “Need you to run a quick background check for me.”

“Sure, boss.”

“Claims his name is 'Edward Nygma'. Never heard of him before but he looks like he has some decent coin behind him.”

“Okay. And where is he currently?”

“Standing inside my office.”

An audible hitch of breath.

“Okay, boss.”

Immediately on to business, Richard could hear the frantic tapping of her keyboard as she sought out the information he needed.

“The name is coming up here, boss.” As though reading from a script, Sam listed off her findings. “Edward Nygma. Business owner and entrepreneur. Apparently considered rather handsome. Worth…”

A pause.

“What?” Richard asked.

“Billions. Christ, he could put Wayne outta business. He’s absolutely loaded.”

“Billions! How have we not heard his name before?”

“He's a noted recluse. Very little personal details available here. All I can see is that his net worth is mind-blowing but the only thing he has name officially to is a production line of different types of toys.”

“Child toys?”

“Puzzle toys. For all ages and ranges.”

“You sure?”

“Yeah. It’s not a lot to go on but it’s definitely there. Good source too. He's legit.”

Hanging up with a shaking finger, Richard could smell opportunity like a shark could blood. A noted recluse worth billions, right here in his office. He could take advantage of this in a way which he and all others had been unable to do so with Bruce Wayne; a man so wrapped up in his holier-than-thou attitude that he refused to engage in any business which would dirty his hands.

Richard hated him.

Taking a deep breath, he dropped his phone back into his pocket and started to move back towards Edward. He had not moved an inch since Richard had disappeared, but his attention was wholly focused on something which was clutched between his hands. As he approached, the flash of the brightly-coloured item in Edward's palm also drew Richard's attention and he squinted as though a sharp light had accosted him.

“What's in your hands?”

Rolling the offending object between his fingers with a practised ease, Edward brought it into the space between them.

“This?” He asked. “A curious little thing. I am very fond of puzzles and I haven't seen anything quite like this before.”

Recognising the piece, Richard squinted once again.

“A rubix's cube?” He asked, incredulous.

Who is their right mind had never seen a Rubix cube before?

“Rubix cube.” Edward repeated with a look of contemplation. “After the man who created it?”

“I guess.” Confused as to what exact relevance the puzzle held to the current discussion, Richard gestured vaguely with his hands. “I don't know what this has to do with-”

“Oh, of course! Of course!” Exclaiming loudly, Edward slapped a hand good-naturedly on his knee as he smiled. “Excuse my ramblings but you must forgive an old man his pleasures.”

“Would you like a drink?”

“Watered down whisky doesn’t agree with me, Dick,” Edward declined. “And I would think a man like yourself would want to watch his health. The liver can be a tricky old thing, especially six years down the line.”

“So, what can I do for you, Mr. Nygma? I doubt this is a social call since we don’t, uh, know each other.”

“I have an opportunity which you would be a damned fool to pass up on. A new line of puzzle and magic toys, fabricated and distributed across Gotham and her sister cities.”

With Edward waving his hand around, Richard was able to catch a glimpse of his watch and found himself momentarily stunned by the beautiful timepiece and the various gemstones which were embedded within.

“Toys? Just toys? Surely we cou-”

“I have meetings today with others, including a meeting with a very interesting man named Wayne who seems to have taken a liking to my products,” Edward grinned.

Richard’s chest clenched with anger at the familiar name and he immediately backpeddled on his scepticism, “That won’t be necessary. I would love to enter into a business deal with you, Mr. Nygma. I hear you have quite the reputation.”

“I’m certain I do,” Edward replied, “and I would like to bring you onboard before I return to my other duties. $10 million would suffice as a minor investment, one which would see major returns.”

Wincing at the amount but desperate to keep the vaguely gullible and eccentric billionaire within his grasp, greed already blinding his thoughts as he imagines various ways of involving the fool with his less pleasant ventures, Richard nodded at the proposed amount.

The conversation flowed smoothly after that, discussions of timescales and proposed returns forcing Richard into the belief that he was making a smart choice. His mind focused despite the whirling nature of Edward’s demeanour; Richard felt the thrill of his greed thrumming in his veins as he catered to his latest potential cash cow.

“So, do we have a deal, Dick?”

Extending his hand with a showman smile, Edward allowed it to hang in the air between them with a sense of finality.

Willing to ignore the nickname this one time, Richard nodded once more and accepted the handshake before dropping his hand to his inner pocket. Mobile phone in hand, it took Richard less than five minutes to have the investment money wired over to Edward’s accounts – ensuring that he retained a firm copy of all Edward’s account details should anything go awry with their deal.

“This account is one of my more selective accounts and I would appreciate its use being kept on the quieter side of things. I am sure you understand,” Richard muttered with a put-on smile.

“Of course, of course! My lips are sealed.” Edward winked, placing his bowler hat atop his head with a dramatic flourish. “A silent account for a silent partner.”

His smirk actually blossoming into a genuine smile, Richard took the initiative to end their meeting.

“A pleasure, Mr Nygma. I hope to work with you again.”

Tilting his head with a wicked smirk of his own, Edward answered in kind.

“I’m sure you’ll think of our partnership often.”

x-x-x-x-x

Stepping into the familiar office of Salvatore Maroni, Richard inclined his head to the goons who remained on guard as he joined both the owner of the office and their mutual friend, Daniel Mockingbird, by taking a seat on the only available chair.

“Evening, boys. Pour me a decent one, eh, Sal?” Richard asked, inclining his empty whisky glass to Maroni. A glass which was quickly filled with amber liquid as the man in question poured him a healthy slosh of scotch.

“You’re chipy as fuck today, Richard. Balls finally drop?” Mockingbird cut in, his thick Italian accent glossing over the words with ease.

“Funny,” Richard deadpanned as he sank a gulp of the scotch, “but anyway, how has your week been gentlemen?”

“Great, I got me a new business partner and I think he’s going to be one for the books, boys,” sipping from his own glass, Maroni appeared pleased with himself as he divulged his luck to the other two.

Surprised, given his own unmade announcement, Richard inclined his hand to Maroni as he indicated for him to continue.

“Yeah, some fucking freak. Came here to ask me to partner on an investment deal for some shitty kids toys and-”

“Bullshit!” Mockingbird called out, surprising both men at the outburst. “You met with Nygma too?”

Open shock playing on his face as he watched the two speak, Richard dropped his hands to his lap as his head darted between the two like a tennis match.

“Yeah. Showed up here asking for $10 million.” Maroni confirmed.

“Fuck! Same from me.”

“Same, huh? For the toy business?”

“Yeah, for the fucking toy business. He didn’t say nothing about having other partners.” Running a hand through his slickened hair, Mockingbird was clearly unimpressed with the fact that his great deal had not been as exclusive as he thought. “Jesus Christ man, $20 million from us both. Sneaky fuc-”

“$30 million,” Richard intercut with a frown. “I also received a visitor yesterday.”

Genuinely speechless, all three men grumbled their discontent into their glasses as they observed the others with open suspicion. Their friendship was tenuous, agreements always being settled under the table to ensure that the dirt they could hold over each other was limited, and an event like this would only breed discontent.

Unable to muse for too long as his phone started vibrating madly in his pocket, Richard pulled it free with a gruff greeting as he pressed it against his ear.

“Mr. Madison, we have a problem.”

Sam. Sounding thoroughly distraught as her voice stuttered across the words.

“What is it?” Richard asked, a sinking feeling dropping his chest into his stomach.

“It’s gone, Sir. Everything. All the money from the secret account.”

His heart stuttering at the information, Richard barely noticed when both Maroni and Mockingbird picked up their own ringing mobiles.

“What the fuck do you mean it’s gone?”

“The account is empty, Sir. The $10 million transferred through to the Nygma account but the rest has disappeared. It’s gone, Sir.”

“No, no-NO!” Richard snapped, snarling his words down the phone. “You find me that money, Sam. Find it and get it back. Hunt down that fuck Nygma if you need to because I think he has something to do with it.”

Slamming his phone shut, his heart pounding in his ears as his blood pressure reached new levels, Richard zoned back into his companions to find that all hell had broken loose across both men. Maroni’s face was a stunning shade of puce as he screamed insults into his mobile while Mockingbird was speaking in Italian at record speed, his expression equally as angry.

Allowing both men the time to finish their phone calls as they went through a similar disbelieving anger to himself, Richard understood without a doubt that they had all been swindled in a similar fashion.

“What the fuck is happening?” Mockingbird hissed, throwing his glass to the floor as the scotch splashed across the carpet. “One of my private accounts has been tanked! Gutted! Fucking robbed!”

Maroni pulled his lips back into a snarl, “Same here! Fuck! The account I used yesterday. That sneaky fuck Nygma is behind this and I’m going to find him, boys.”

“Pull our resources! I’m going to kill that red-haired fuck.” Richard added with a roar.

“Red hair?” Mockingbird face was confused despite the rage, “You mean black hair? Short little fucker too, only about 5ft? Weasley as fuck.”

“What?” Squinting, Richard shook his head. “No. He was wiry with red hair, probably about my height and thin as an addicts piss. Sal?”

His voice so low that both men struggled to pick up on his exact words, Maroni growled his own description.

“Brown hair. Slicked back. Slight build on him. Had a stupid cane with him. I even got the bastard on record.”

Snatching out a voice recorder from a nearby desk drawer, Maroni fiddled with it before clicking play on the recorder as all three men stared at it with narrowed eyes.

“-an excellent choice, Mr Maroni! I admire your taste in being able to pick up on a good deal when it comes your way. So, let’s get down to business and I can be on my way. Shall we say around $10 million as an investment? With that I cou-”

His heart racing at the familiar voice, Richard saw a similar look of rage on Mockingbirds’ face as he listened to the recording.

“That’s him!” Mockingbird grunted, his fists clenched against his lap. “That’s the smart-mouthed cunt.”

“How the fuck can that be the same man we all met?” Richard asked reasonably, rage giving way to confusion. “Sure, he could wear a wig or change his clothes, but his height? He wasn’t a fucking magician. This shouldn’t be a fucking riddle. How much did he take from you?”

Directing the question to both men, the grave looks he received in response no doubt mirrored his own. If their loss was as great as his own then they were looking at an easy collective loss of over a hundred million. A hundred million dollars, gone in a puff of smoke.

All dirty.

All untraceable.

As it was designed to be.

It was a perfect theft.

“Play the bastards voice again, Sal.” Mockingbird hissed. “I want it committed to memory so I can remember to have his tongue ripped out when we catch the prick.”

Thick fingers pressing the play button of the audio recorder, Maroni startled in place as the casual conversation which had previously been loaded on the device was replaced by a loud, cackling laughter – the rising cacophony of Edward’s mirth making all three men shiver in place as something dark curled around the joyful sound and rattled them to their cores.

Richard Madison was a crook, but he was no fool, and, as Mockingbird fixed himself with the sign of the cross, Richard could not shake the furious anxiety which seared in his chest as he realised that something evil had held counsel with him in his office yesterday and that his money was gone somewhere he did not dare to follow.

[homoeroticgrappling]

Can't wait for the Chuck Taylor dead wife montage full of clips of him lying on a white bed with Walter and laughing at the camera while a cool breeze gently disturbs the curtains in the background

[toobbolive]

Hear me out: Pac is just as afraid of intimacy as Fit is. Pac has a specific idea of what being close to other people will entail, and that's why he situates himself by the violent, unstable men.

They'll be exactly what he expects them to be, they're familiar.

That's why he still seeks out Cell during purgatory, and how he's decided to stay with him and try to walk him back to being Cellbit regardless of what Cell's done to him and his friends (including those who did not end up respawning or escaping.) Cell is already close to him, to his body and mind and Pac is afraid to lose that closeness no matter how ugly or unhealthy it is.

Any attention, any intimacy is still intimacy. A hand reaching out to harm you still has to touch your skin.

Meanwhile, Fit is from an environment that paradoxically prevents and ensures closeness, the bond between warriors, the conditional loyalties of where you lay your head.

Fit is aware that getting closer, getting what he wants will hurt him, and he still wants it anyways. I think he's prepared for the pain waiting for them both if he'll just reach out for it. As well, Fit has Ramón, a job, a mission, people who need him, other connections to the people around him. Pac doesn't.

And we see Pac keep people at an arm's length so that he won't have to risk the pain of being left behind by the people he cares about.

Considering old Fuga Impossivel 2 lore (which could be canon! they've been using parts of it) Pac and Mike are orphans, only fully having each other. The single constant between their adventures. Pulling capers, spending a long time in prison and then on a boat with other dangerous escapees, with whom they're now a twisted kind of family, but Richas has other dads, and people like Forever and Cellbit both have their own partners and demons right now.

So Pac during the Happy Pills arc? Walter Bob could be dead. Mike is in deep sleep, and Pac doesn't turn to anyone else for help. He doesn't reach out to the morning crew. He's self-sacrifically on his own, he goes on the drugs alone, and he begins to develop the antidote alone and what he says is that he doesn’t want to be sad again but he isolates himself in fear of it.

Let's think about the Pac who's openly affectionate to cover up the Pac who knows that no one needs him around and who's intelligent enough to know that challenging that understanding could destroy him.

That's why Pac won't confess either.

Pac avoids every concrete escalation because changing a relationship means risking losing it.

[ellethespaceunicorn]

Get My Pretty Name Outta Your Mouth

Rating: Explicit, 18+, Minors - DNI

Pairing: Walter Marshall x Reader

Fandom: Night Hunter

Word Count: 1.7K

Summary: For @enchantedbytomandhenry; You hate everything about Detective Walter Marshall. He feels the same about you. Now, kiss!

Warnings: enemies to lovers trope (not sure if I nailed it though), unprotected p-in-v, creampie, Daddy kink, male tackling female to subdue (if that squicks you, maybe skip this one-it is quick but described)

A/N: Unbeta’d, we die like people who tried their best. 

Dividers by: @firefly-graphics

Support/Reblog banner by me

My Masterlist 

Oh, this is great. No, it’s perfect. Not only were you voluntold to work a weekend-long stakeout, but you’d also be paired with Detective Marshall. Yeah, that Detective Marshall. Walter. The asshole who you’ve been competing with for ‘top dog’ since before joining S.W.A.T. all those years ago. 

He was always just ahead of you. Ran a mile half a minute quicker. Got promoted a month sooner. To top it all off, he was tall and drop-dead gorgeous. And he had an ass you could bounce a quarter off.

Wait, hold on. When did that become something you even cared about? 

The way he cockily smiles at you as he exits his truck in the parking lot of the motel is enough to have you clench your thighs together. This should be a fun weekend. 

Friday night into Saturday morning is spent quietly using the listening devices to monitor our suspect. You both just…sit there, using your ears. Walter is usually quiet, sure. But what human doesn’t even accidentally use small talk to fill a quiet space?

During the day, you try and sleep in your separate room but it proves to be difficult. You toss and turn, grumbling to yourself after a couple of hours. Visions of Marshall’s chiseled jawline, beefy arms, and thick thighs are burned in your mind. You abandon all hope of sleeping, spending the rest of the day disassembling and cleaning your sidearm. It keeps your mind sharp and you genuinely enjoy the process.

It’s nearing seven and you’re just getting your things together to head over to the surveillance room when you get a knock at the door. You peek through the curtains and see Marshall as he leans on the doorframe.

You open the door and look expectantly at him. When he doesn’t answer and barges into the room past you, you pipe up, “Come on in, why don’t you?” You close the door behind you and watch as he looks around the room.

He notices your gun cleaning kit on the small wooden table by the window and looks back at you. “You didn’t sleep today. You look like shit.”

“Awesome. Thank you. What do you want?” you snap, already sick of his annoyingly perfect face.

“Go home and get some sleep,” he crosses his arms, standing in front of you, “Got the B team coming in to take over.”

“So, we’re both leaving? Or are you just dismissing me?” you questioned, crossing your own arms.

“Just you,” he deadpans, not feeling the need to explain himself further.

“Well, fuck that. I’m not leaving, so if you’ll excuse me,” you fumed, moving to reach for your sidearm on the table as he moves over, holding a hand out between the table and yourself.

“I can’t let you take that with so little sleep. It’s dangerous for both of us. Trust me, one slip up, and one of us is down,” he warns, holding his ground.

“Marshall, get out of my way. We have a job to do.”

“No, I have a job to do. You’re off the clock. Go home, kid,” he urged, holding his position.

“You’re gonna have to take me out of this mission by force, Marshall. Otherwise, I’m-”

You did not get to finish that sentence before Walter was taking you down on your stomach. A strong arm fully extended holding your left shoulder, while your right wrist is being restrained, would have been enough. But, this was Marshall after all and if he was anything, he was thorough. He straddles your hips, with just enough pressure to keep you down, but not enough to scratch a certain itch.

“I didn’t wanna have to do that,” Walter breathes, winded slightly from the takedown, “but you gave me no choice.” 

“Marshall, get the fuck off of me,” you growl, trying to buck him off.

“Yeah, kid, that’s not happening,” he spits, hooking his ankles over your thighs, “You’re lucky I don’t cuff you to keep you down.”

“So, what? You just looking for a reason to get me to obey you?” you challenge, struggling under his weight.

“As if you needed an excuse,” he laughs, straightening himself above you.

“Please! If you honestly think-”

“Give it a rest, I can smell your arousal from here,” he teased, lowering his hips a fraction and watching your squirm, “And before you say it’s not because of me, why couldn’t I smell it until after I had taken you down?”

“Fuck you, Marshall,” you scoff, trying to hold some semblance of control.

“Yeah, maybe if you did, you could get some fucking sleep,” he offers, his left hand moving from your shoulder down your arm, “But here you are, stubborn as hell.”

You lick your lips, considering his words. You wanted to get some release. You also wanted to sleep. 

Fuck it.

“So, what’s it gonna be?” he queries, slowly starting to release your arms.

“I’m exhausted and I’m horny. But you’re doing all of the work, Marshall,” you say, lifting your hips to meet his crotch.

“That’s a good girl,” he hummed, releasing your arms before leaning up and off of you. You start to raise yourself before you are lifted and all but thrown on the bed and told to strip. Watching as his layers are quickly being shed, you all but rip away your clothing. 

Once fully naked, you look at Marshall where he stands watching you. Cock in hand, he pumps his massive length slowly while his eyes rake over you. “Tell me what you need,” he coaxed, his voice lower by at least an octave.

“Hurry the fuck up and put me to bed, Marshall, before I change my mind,” you threaten, your body thrumming under his gaze.

“You can change your mind at any time, you just say the word and this is over, yeah?” he informs, eyes connecting with yours.

“Heard,” you chime in, opening your legs for him. 

He kneels on the bed between your legs, reaching down to collect some of your wetness that glistens in the low light of the motel room. He lifts his hand to his mouth, sucking your juices off his fingers before plunging them inside you. “Fuck, girl, you are so wet for me. So fucking hot,” he moans, squelching sounds filling the room as he massages your inner bundle of nerves.

“Oh fuck, Daddy!” you squealed, completely out of your control.

“That’s it, girl, cum for me,” he goaded, his thumb moving to play with your swollen button.

It doesn’t take long before you feel that familiar tightening in your core, and Marshall must be the World’s Greatest Detective™ because he is pulling out his fingers and thrusting his cock inside your wet heat. Fucking you through your orgasm, your tight walls fluttering around him causing him to groan loudly.

“That’s one, let’s see if we can’t get you another, yeah?” he teases, melding your chests together as he wraps his arms around your center. From this angle, he can stimulate your clit while stroking deeply. And he does so at a punishing pace, his teeth nipping and kissing your neck. “Fuck, we shoulda done this years ago, girl. This pussy is fucking made for me.”

“Yes, Daddy,” you mewl, that time was completely on purpose.

Marshall leans up, leaving one arm around you while the other hand goes to your hair, baring your neck. “Who’s pussy is this, girl?” he challenges, even though he already knows.

“It’s yours, Daddy,” you whine, legs wrapping around his hips.

“That’s fucking right, it’s mine,” he praised, hips pistoning into you, “And I’m gonna ruin you for everyone else. You’re mine, girl.”

His growled claim of you paired with the way he fucks into you has your legs trembling around him instantly, your second orgasm of the night flowing through you.

“Hmmm, that’s my girl, taking Daddy’s cock so well,” he groans, the sound vibrating through the both of you. 

“Thank you, Daddy,” you moan, squeezing your thighs around Marshall, “I love your fucking cock.”

“That’s right you love this cock,” he growls, pulling out and manhandling you onto all fours, “Put Daddy’s cock back in, girl.”

You reach back and line him up, pushing back to impale yourself before moaning out at the angle change. Marshall grips your hips, plowing into you, no doubt chasing his own release now.

“Fucking cum inside me, Daddy,” you whimper, loving the sounds coming from your sodden cunt as it is pounded.

“I’m gonna breed this perfect pussy,” he grunts, hips stuttering until he pushes in as deep as can, cock twitching and painting your insides so full that it starts to leak past your entrance. He pulls out slightly before starting to fuck his cum back inside you. The sensation alone has your pussy quivering around him for the third time before you fall forward on your front.

Marshall laughs as he gets up from the bed, going to the en suite bathroom. You can hear him taking a piss and you know that you should as well to combat any chance of a UTI. But your legs aren’t listening yet so fuck that idea. 

Your eyes are already closed when you feel a wet warmth between your legs as Marshall is wiping down your swollen sex gently before you snuggle into the comforter being wrapped around you. A kiss is placed on your temple and soon you hear the rustling of clothes being put back on.

The sound of your motel room door opening and closing barely registers as you fall asleep.

It is sometime later in the evening and you check your phone on the nightstand as it reads 12:12 AM. No need to make a wish. 

You take a quick shower and get dressed before heading over to the surveillance room. You are stopped outside of the room by a uniformed officer. “Detective Marshall asked me to keep you out. And he wanted me to give you this. That’s all I know, Ma’am.” The officer hands over a note and you step away and read it.

Hey,

I was serious about you getting some sleep. 

Get that ass back to bed.

Daddy will see you soon, girl.

Sweet dreams xx

A/N: So, like I don’t know how I feel about how I wrote Walter here. This is not MY Walter, but I quite enjoyed this version of him.

**Tag List**

@astheskycries 

Let me know if you wanna be added and for what plz! 😁

[itsbenedict]

From the beginning | Previously | Coin standings | 8/18 | 19/20

You stay out of sight and observe the Rs for a little while. It seems like... they primarily hunt the weird little bat-monsters that are flying around. They spit lowercase rs as projectiles, then converge on the dazed bats and gobble them up. They're... kind of bad hunters, though, and seem to be in uneasy competition for prey with each other.

Adea knows what to do. She's cut down plenty of these pesky things- what's a few more? She tells Walter to hold down the fort while she goes out to BATTLE COLIC COLLECT BAIT.

...While he's waiting, he takes out the BILATERAL SIZINGS SIGNAL STABILIZER, and thinks back to earlier, when he first started feeling strangely hungry. There was something in the medieval village, but he can't quite bring it to mind. Maybe with this...

WHIR, YOUTHFUL LITTLE DOVE. TODAY, YOU'RE A FOREIGNER. SURRENDER THIS AERIALIST SKIN. UTOPIA AND YOUR LOATHSOME PAGEANTRY IS FUTILE.

YOUR HEART FAILS YOU AND YOUR DAUGHTER IS RIPPED FROM THE OUTSKIRTS OF REALITY AND YOU WILL NEVER SEE HER AGAIN UNTIL IT IS TOO LATE.

-

Adea returns to Walter's hiding spot just outside the tree chamber, a haul of neatly bisected BAT-LAMs slung over her shoulder in the spent plastic casing of a bulk juice pack. She returns and finds him on the floor, twitching, whispering something to himself with a thousand-yard stare plastered on his face. A spent SIGNAL STABILIZER lies on the ground next to him.

She wants to panic, but there's two large predators less than twenty feet away. Survival instincts keep her silent, but she kneels down and tries to shake him to his senses. After a moment, he makes eye contact with her, and his eyes well up with tears.

She's dead, he says. I saw her body, he says. They took her away.

Adea knows who he means, immediately, because there's no one else he could be talking about. But he's not making any sense- was she here? What happened?

...No, he's clearly talking nonsense. Obviously she's not dead. That can't be true. She won't let that be true. He's delirious- and on less than 10% Soul Integrity, so who knows what might've snapped in his head. He's prone to flights of fancy at the best of times- she needs to get some blood sugar in him.

She stands up and holds the bag of ba(i)t in the doorway, until the growling letters spot her. They turn, and begin galloping in her direction- until she flings the bag down the hallway before diving back behind cover. They chase after it, jostling each other for position. And if all goes according to plan, they'll catch the scent of their trail of bug-carnage and be led far away from here.

She forces Walter to his feet and ushers him into the chamber. The tree is full of fruit- enough for them to fill up both their stomachs and their pockets with heart-apples. He's shaking and doesn't want to eat, but she forces it down. The monsters aren't distracted for as long as she'd hoped- but these heart apples restore a pretty significant chunk of Soul Integrity nonetheless, putting them both up over 60% before they need to vamoose. And they can come back here, later, with more firepower or another distraction in hand. Worrying about survival seems like it's over, for the time being.

Now... there's been a few next priorities. They feel jumbled, but they present themselves dutifully, following you out of the tree chamber. Walter is still babbling incoherently, but it's at least more coherent than...

Continued | 60/70 | 40/40

[holylulusworld]

Between a rock and a hard place (5)

Summary: You are in big trouble and in need of money. Two wolves are more than willing to help you. For a price…

Pairing: Mobster!Walter Marshall x fem!Reader x Mobster!August Walker

Warnings: angst, language, power imbalance, debts, scared reader, groping, gaslighting, darkfic, both brothers are not nice guys, mafia au, a tiny hint of fluff/aftercare, possessive Walter, jealousy?, cockwarming

Between a rock and a hard place (4)

Between a rock and a hard place masterlist

Shutting the world around you off, especially the two men using you to their liking, you fell asleep on the couch at the club.

You slept for almost two hours before Walter finally decided it was time to go home. He covered your body with his large shirt and picked you up in bridal style.

August was less aggressive and loud on your way toward the car. He grinned and talked about your perfect ass the whole time.

At least you got him off your back by letting him fuck your ass. A silver lining in the dark pit your world became.

“You’ve done so well for us. We made so much money,” Walter soothingly runs his big hand over your back as you try not to move too much.

You are in the largest bathtub you have ever seen. Walter insisted on running you a bath and on joining you. A trick, of course. You ended up impaled on his insatiable cock to keep him warm once again.

“Feels good keeping my big cock warm, doesn’t it?” He laughs when you hide your face in his chest. You’d love to tell him that you are sore and tired, but he wouldn’t listen to you. None of them does.

“You tricked me,” you murmur, afraid to speak louder. “You lied too.”

“Kinda,” he pats your head. “We let our customers fuck our employees but provide a different service too. I kept my word, didn’t I? I only shared you with August. No other man will touch you ever again, lamb.”

“We call it live-action porn,” August snickers as he joins you in the tub. He stretches his long legs out and you instinctively cling to his brother. “Don’t worry, I’m satisfied for tonight. The blowjob you gave me in the back of the car was mind-blowing. You’re a little minx.”

“She was such a good girl for me. I’m so proud of her for letting herself fall,” Walter’s praise, makes your heart flutter. “I rewatched the close-up and got hard again. My sweet little lamb is a star. I hate to say it, but I told you so.”

“Hmmm…you don’t hate to say it, brother.” You squeak when August leans forward to grope your ass. “As long as I can fuck her, you can keep her. I’ll figure out how to make her disappearance believable.”

You stiffen. “Relax, baby lamb. We only want to keep you to ourselves. Bad people are after your dead husband, and I can tell, they’d love to get their hands on you.”

“You’re ours now. No need to be officially alive, right?” August pinches your ass meaningly and snickers when you try to move away. But you are trapped, still impaled on his brother’s cock. “Right.”

“Don’t be an ass,” Walter slaps his brother’s hand away. “She made fifty thousand bucks in one night for us. I told you she’s going to be good for us.”

“Good for you,” you sniffle. “So good…”

Walter showed mercy after he filled your cunt up for one last time. He cleaned you and put you into a barely-not-there nightie to present you to his brother.

“I like the way you dress her,” August laughs as you lie on the bed, worn-out, and tired. “She’s a damn porn star with a mouth and a tight hole like that.”

“She has had enough for one night,” Walter points at the door. “You can fuck her with me at the club, but nowhere else. The blowjob at the car was a one-time thing. She’s mine.”

“Christ, you are obsessed with her,” you hide your face in the cushions when the brothers start fighting over you again. “I want her at the club again next week. I got some VIPs waiting for a good show.”

“Next week,” Walter jerks his head toward the door. “Now leave. She needs sleep and me too. I fucked her so many times I’m a little tired myself.”

August glances at you one last time. He can’t help but feel a little jealous as you immediately move closer to his brother the moment he lies on the bed next to you.

“Night,” he walks out of the door, slamming it shut with a loud thud. You flinch and sniffle, knowing he’s mad at you again.

“Let him sulk, lamb,” Walter moves closer to you. “Come here. I’ll keep you safe and warm.”

You don’t argue or fight Walter when he tells you to lie on his chest. It’s easier to be good for him and do as he says. He wraps his arms around you and kisses the top of your head.

“He’ll lose interest soon and then you are all mine,” he whispers. “I’ll make sure that he doesn’t hurt you, my sweet lamb. You’re too good for me to go to waste.”

Walter runs his big hand over your back up to your shoulders and back down. Your eyes flutter shut, and you feel warm.

“I knew you were special when I saw you the other day. You smiled and giggled, but your husband didn’t pay attention to what you had to say. I think you came to the event to show off your pretty new dress, but he only had eyes for some other woman.”

Your eyes snap open again as he continues.

You remember that night. It was the last time you went out with your husband.

That was over a year ago. – He must have watched you for a long time if he saw you that night. How could this happen to you? Maybe he even had a hand in what happened to your husband.

“You looked so cute in that dress,” he nuzzles his face in your hair. “I would’ve loved to take you right there and then.” He chuckles. “August told me to not pay attention to some pussy but I watched you all night. Your smile faded and you hid in a corner as your useless husband flirted with some other woman.”

You don’t say a word, even if your heart is racing. Closing your eyes you try to pretend you are asleep. His words replay in your mind while you struggle to not freak out.

“I set my eyes on you that night,” he tickles your skin with his fingertips. “I knew you’d be a natural submissive - a little lamb.” Walter hums. “You enchanted me with your innocent smile and soft laughter. You didn’t dress to impress but looked like a goddess to me. August calls it an obsession. I call it fate…”

“Come with me,” Walter wraps his arm around your shoulders and guides you out of the safety of his bedroom. “I told you I got a surprise for you.”

You nod and let him lead the way. What else can you do? His admission from last night is still swirling in your mind. How could you not see that Walter knew you from the beginning?

“You’ll love it, lamb,” he murmurs and nuzzles his face in your neck.

“What is she doing here?” August grunts. He watches you like a hawk and squares his jaw. “I asked you a question, brother. We agreed on letting her stay in the guest room or your bedroom. The rest of this place is taboo.”

“Shut up,” Walter snaps at his brother. “After last night she has every right to be here. She let you fuck her ass and blew you off. We made fifty thousand bucks because of her. Now get out of my way.”

“What? I—”

It’s a small win, but watching August step out of his brother’s way makes you smirk for a second. At least he didn’t lie about protecting you from his brother.

“You heard me, brother. I bore your one-nighters and bimbos for years. If you don’t leave my lamb alone, you will not like my answer.”

“Maybe you shouldn’t live together if you always fight,” you murmur. With your eyes cast down, you can’t see the brothers turn their heads toward you to look down at you.

“Would you look at this cocky little bee,” August roughly cups your face, making you whimper as he forces you to look up at him. “What did you just say?”

“Fighting and arguing isn’t good for your well-being and blood pressure,” you recite one of the articles you read. “You are brothers and shouldn’t be mad at each other all the time.”

“Aw, she’s already worried about me,” Walter kisses your temple. “I knew she’d love me, brother. My sweet little lamb.”

August grunts. “She has a name. Maybe you should use it once in a while.” You glance at August, wondering if he’s as bad as you thought. He’s not wrong. You’d love hearing your name, not only a pet name.

“She likes it,” Walter bites back. “I can call her whatever I want. Maybe one day I’ll call her my wife!”

You suck in a breath.

“What?” August huffs. “You can’t be serious! Walter, you let me fuck her in front of dozens of guys jerking off while we destroyed her holes.”

“See, I share the most precious things with you, and you never appreciate it,” Walter possessively wraps his arm tighter around your shoulders. “Now, let me show Y/N my surprise.”

“Walter!” August calls after his brother. “This isn’t over!”

You follow Walter, stunned and speechless as he tells you how much you will love his surprise…

Part 6

Tags in reblog.

[mulders-too-large-shirt]

s3 episode 21 thoughts

a fantastic episode yesterday, and… a SKINNER episode today?!?! what kind of journey are we in for?!!!

LITTLE DID I KNOW!!! for i simply had no idea that a skinner episode is EXACTLY what i needed!!! it is the thing i did not order but that hit the spot precisely!!! it was a thing i couldn’t predict!!!

but who would have thought it? a glimpse into the life of such a secretive man… and a beautiful one, at that!! wow!! i’m emotional over WALTER SKINNER! how unexpected, but also inevitable….

let us begin this journey, which went in so many directions

let us read this episode description. skinner, a murderer…. hmm. it’s not really adding up to me... in this context, at least. has he killed people? yes, definitely. but a random person? seems sloppy. seems weird. seems that someone is framing him…

we open with our friend walter.

IS SKINNER GETTING A DIVORCE?????

this is not how i expected the episode to start!

oh, he won’t sign the papers. he says he’ll do it tomorrow. skinner is SAD :( he’s putting his coat on and leaving!!!!! he does not want to get divorced it seems.

wait, an emotional skinner like two minutes in……. woah. we’re in for a rollercoaster here, i can tell (author's note: op was correct)

noooo, sad skinner at a bar. someone sits next to him. this woman is pretty and sits next to him to escape a guy who wouldn’t stop talking to her. a gentleman!

she asks if being alone bothers him and OH! cutscene to sex. well. this escalated quickly. 

PAUSE. is this the first sex scene in this show??? and it’s SKINNER??? if you would have told me that fact a few months ago when i started this show, i would have laughed at you…

omg yeah... i think it is the first on-camera sex scene in this show?? in the past there hasn’t been much (thinking of 3, which is an episode i purposely choose to forget except for right now, and i am ONLY thinking of it to remember how the precedent was established) and they just cut to waking up the next morning. but no, not here. here we get the full show. 

well! he seems to be having fun, at least. 

OH??? until an old lady is on top of him and screaming? 

fun has been cancelled.

that seems to have been a terrible nightmare. but what is not a nightmare is that the woman next to him is DEAD!!!

huh???

my guess…. a slow acting poison??

poor skinner…… he literally cannot catch a break.

oh my goodness, how are our agents going to react to this news….? i would be so embarrassed if my employees knew who i was hooking up with……. and also that she died…..

mulder at da scene. he wants to talk to skinner but he isn’t allowed to talk to him!!!

his phone rings and scully is driving in absolute POURING RAIN and idk why it made me laugh. she was like in a damn flood and flooring it to get where she needed to be lmaoooo

skinner says not to get involved. yeah okay. unstoppable force (mulder on a quest for answers) meet immovable object (skinner)

OH! so it was NOT poison that killed her, and actually her neck was broken. so i guess i didn’t see that. which is probably good because i would have gagged.

this detective is being a jerk to mulder. saying that skinner is suspicious for not taking a lie detector test as if a lie detector test can prove a damn thing (hint: it cannot!) but mulder still gives him his card so they can call and chat

LMAOOOO he was on the phone with scully for all of that exchange with the detective, and she is STILL just trying to get through what looks like a hurricane!!! but she is on her way!!!! he says let’s go look at the body 

still at the crime scene, mulder sees the body’s outline and sighs deeply, realizing his colleague is in trouble

scully is narrating the autopsy into her little voice recorder thing, and it always makes me think she’s vlogging, but i digress. she says the victim’s spine was crushed, and only skinner’s prints were on the body.

mulder makes a stupid remark about “at least they were having safe sex” because really, what DO you say when your boss is a murder suspect, and the body is right in front of you? well! many of us will never have to answer this question. funny how he needs to have a Quip to cope, though. don't think i haven't noticed.

her name was carina, and she was a legal secretary who was fired for working as an escort. they truly hate to see a woman get her side hustle on.

scully looks so sad and confused at all of this, but turns the light out and the body’s face is glowing in the dark around the mouth!!! so she pulls out her recorder and makes note of that. it’s like if you split the juice in a glow stick on there. so maybe there WAS poison afoot?!

(author's note: literally no poison at all in this ep idk i was just really convinced there would be... it is important i also include my predictions that flop so you know i have journalistic integrity)

mulder and scully at someone’s door. the person who answers says lorraine is busy, and he says “busy or not, we need to speak with her” and barges in and AGAIN. the way these two just enter a room so forcefully always makes me lose my mind. someone please make a youtube complication of this someday. they are NOT vampires they do not need to be invited in 😭

lorraine, the head of the escort agency, wants to do their questioning later and they break the news carina is dead. she does not want to tell them who hired her, for it goes against their practice. but mulder is ANGRY and gets her to confess that it was, in fact, skinner.

the agents are walking out, asking what was he thinking, and i am wondering the same thing!! she says they can’t ignore the evidence, but mulder is refusing to believe that skinner could be responsible. oh mulder, your faith in those you love really is admirable.

she brings up that they really don’t know much about skinner, but he says that we know he’s risked a lot for us, and that they owe it to him to find the truth. another case of both things being true, which happens often with these two.

oooo this is juicy, i’m INVESTED!!!

conveniently timed cell phone call! skinner has been released. mulder runs to go get him and skinner says it doesn’t concern him, but mulder says of course it does, and damn, i’m just now realizing how attached to skinner mulder must be, how he sounds like a scared little kid hoping against hope he’s innocent, because the people you love can’t do bad things, right? AUGHHHHH how mulder must look for safety in all the places he didn’t get it growing up. i’m gonna be sick. of course it concerns us! <- yeah. making note to analyze this in depth later because it felt like piercing me through the heart.

skinner is gagged by their revelation that carina was a sex worker, which means something is afoot here, because he was supposed to be the one that hired her...

but when he looks behind them, he sees that creepy old woman again!!! omg i had forgotten about her!!!! she’s in a bright red rain jacket. 

and he runs into traffic after her (he does get hit by a car but it's the least of his worries) but when he goes to get her… it’s someone else?? with brown hair and blue eyes and not a creepy old lady at all. it’s his WIFE!!!!! WIFE REVEAL!!!!! 🎊

so the agents and sharon skinner are chatting. scully wants to know if he’s always been so private. “he lives under this misguided notion that silence is strength” is what his wife has to say, which is both poignant and read him for filth, sharon. so that is why they separated, and have been for about 8 months.

oh! mulder was one of the few people skinner ever mentioned from work!!! she knows he respects him, so she asks him if he really killed that woman. mulder says he doesn’t think skinner did it, but they have to go now. 

some guy named special agent bonnecaze is at skinner’s desk. and the agents are wanted at a hearing for skinner’s ability to keep his job!!! this bonnecaze says they’re not allowed to go sleuthing about. mulder is very very angry.

(what separates a special agent from a regular agent? this is probably a simple internet search, but isn't it more fun to post your thoughts? google says pretty much everyone at the federal level involved in crime investigation is a special agent. so if they're ALL special agents it can't be that special)

back to the office, where mulder is chomping on his pen, and skinner won’t answer his phone. scully notes that he is “doing everything he shouldn’t be doing” which is probably on purpose, RIGHT?? RIGHT?!

and scully looks so beautiful…. she’s concerned about skinner's state of mind, and what else he might be capable of. mulder seems frustrated that she would suspect him, but she explains that genuinely she IS giving him the benefit of the doubt, in the sort of tone you use when you are deeply apologizing to someone, hand on her chest. she can clearly see how attached mulder is to this whole situation. an empath...

scully thinks that maybe something else is going on… she’s playing a video of a man who had REM sleep behavior disorder and relived getting hit by a train each night until he broke his wife’s arm. she is in doctor mode talking about sleep related stuff. and the clinic that film came from WAS WHERE SKINNER HAD BEEN RECEIVING TREATMENT FOR THE PAST 3 MONTHS!!! gasp!! for the same condition!

so he sees an old woman attacking him in his sleep, and maybe he had attacked carina thinking it was her. scully is playing with her necklace as this theory is proposed.

mulder is like, yes i have heard of something like this, a succubus. and he puts his pen in his mouth and grabs a big book off the shelf!!! wow i love that he has a book mentioning medieval spirits in his office :,) maybe need to get one of those for mine.

oh! and his book claims there can be residue left behind… like the stuff she found… scully is pulling a "mulder, you're never gonna believe this" mentally

back to the body. but now her mouth isn’t glowing in the dark! but she had taken a sample… and when sent to the lab for analysis, they found nothing!!!

mulder asks if she is SURE she saw something, and she is like yeah i wouldn’t make that up?? so new theory: skinner is running from all of this because he’s afraid.

skinner is sipping something strong and someone knocks at his door. it’s sharon in a big red raincoat! he didn’t get her calls because he unplugged his phone……. says he hasn't been sleeping....

this must be where he lives now since they separated, but he hasn’t unpacked at all. she wants to make sure he’s okay! but he’s pulling the you’re my ex card. and she says, well i only initiated the divorce because YOU were too scared to do it yourself, and he says “fair enough” <- OOOOO again sharon read him for filth. still, i do not enjoy seeing him so sad.

she wants him to let his walls down, but she knows he will never let her comfort him. so she says to take care of himself and leaves :(

he pulls out their wedding day photo and AWW they’re so young :(((((

AND HE FALLS ASLEEP HOLDING IT. STOP, AM I GOING TO CRY OVER A MAN NAMED WALTER?????????

sleepy time interrupted by screaming. it’s the old lady in the red rain coat just absolutely letting it out, and then she leaves. but there is a REAL knock at the door, and it’s the detective!!!

NO! he says sharon was in an accident!! WHAT IS GOING ON??? skinner’s terrified… and they want the keys to his car…. HE WAS SLEEPING ON THE COUCH!!! HE DID NOT DO THAT SHIT!!!

so he is at the police station and mulder is also here, reporting that sharon is in surgery. but he says they’re building a case against him!!!

mulder clarifies he doesn’t think that skinner did it, but scully doesn’t understand why he isn’t trying to defend himself. and mulder’s doing the angry man thing where he puts his hands on his hips and pushes his jacket back and hnhbbbbhmmmmmmppllhghgh

nooooo skinner :( he’s so angry :( he doesn’t know what is going on or what to believe :(

so mulder asks about the old woman- which they know about from reading his files- and yells that if he doesn’t start trusting someone, he doesn’t stand a chance. whew! he has had enough of this silence!!!

(oh my phone is gonna die hold on. break to procure a charger. charger secured. CHARGER ISN’T WORKING?? omg… now it is… crisis averted)

so skinner started seeing her “again” a few months ago… he’s talking about what happened to him in vietnam, how he was a sole survivor of an ambush. he says he got through the experience by numbing himself with whatever he could, and he “inhaled”, so he assumed she was another hallucination. and she watched him watch himself die, but she carried him back away from the light. 

mulder proposes she was trying to protect him them and still is now. but he doesn’t know from what!! he is so sad!!

GASP!!! CUTSCENE TO CANCER MAN WATCHING THIS ALL GO DOWN?????

ANOTHER EVIL CIG MAN PLOT?!?!?

so skinner’s car matches the damage on sharon’s car, and allegedly the hood of his car was still warm when the detectives got to his house and brought him in for questioning. mulder asks for a flashlight and gets in the car despite the hearing being in a half hour. oh! he’s slicing out the air bag?

bringing the air bag to the lab guy, who can turn the air bag into a facial pattern of whoever it crashed into. is this a thing that can happen??? big if true.

scully at the hearing. mulder not there!! so they just begin.

she’s trying to explain the mouth glow situation, and special agent bonnecaze basically accuses her of hiding stuff; she says she’s reluctant to speak for mulder, but he thought it came from a “visitation”. she has no other explanation! 

(wow, i love that she admits she has no idea here. you can tell who is intelligent by seeing who is willing to admit to not having all of the answers. it's a small thing but it says a lot about her character <3)

they ask her if she believes in paranormal phenomena, and she dodges the question by saying she views everything “through the lens of science”. a measured response. but they’re asking if skinner has become “enchanted by agent mulder’s notions” HUH?? what da hell does that mean? anyway, she says no. 

bonnecaze accuses her of protecting skinner by exaggerating the unexplained elements of the case, which she ENTIRELY refutes. and when she tries to say that she is NOT finished, they say she is. OHHH the bastards. 

scully calls mulder but he’s right behind her lololol. anyway, it’s no laughing matter that skinner is OUT OF A JOB. she says he would have had a better chance against a firing squad. and they used the x files to justify getting rid of him!! he thinks "they’re" doing it to hurt the x files, whoever they may be!!! (presumably cig man and his UN alien club??)

so mulder has a graph that looks like pixel art of whoever stole skinner's car that night and his sharon. "they" couldn’t try to kill him again, so a set up would be less obvious. it makes sense.

i think the lab guy’s name is danny?? well they can’t figure out who thief is, who must have also been the fellow who hired carina. 

oh no! now they’re at the scene of another crime. it’s the lady who runs the escort agency! she jumped off a building :( or it was staged to look like that

but they see the woman who answered the door when they visited her place of work!!! her name is judy. and she says that the pixel art man who hired carina said no one would get hurt!!!! so this dude stole skinner’s card!!! 

(is it krycek. i can’t stand him any longer!)

due to lorraine being dead, she can’t talk with this mystery client, so they ask judy to set up a meeting with him, to pretend she needs money to get out of town. she calls some unnamed men on the phone to arrange this meeting.

and the men on the phone are not krycek, but they ARE watching this all go down from their car!!!!!! WHO ARE THESE FREAKS!!!!

skinner is going to see sharon. and she can’t hear him but he’s telling her he’s not signing the divorce papers :( he says he can’t tell her the terrible things he has seen…. and that she was what got him through each day, knowing he had a reason to wake up :( NOOOOO

and as he smooches her forehead her monitor starts going off!!!!!!! but then he sees her turn into the scary old woman!!!!!! who looks out at him and beckons. so he goes back in and grabs the hand of the old woman but it’s actually his wife again!!!!!!! she says to listen to her. WHAT IS IT!!! what does she KNOW!!!

mulder at the bar where they planned the set up. sipping something and looking good, yeah yeah. the men who set this whole thing up are arriving. 

while scully and judy are upstairs and oh my god scully. she is so beautiful. both of these bastards are so utterly beautiful. 

sighs wistfully…….

well, whoever it is they’re waiting on isn’t showing up. but there’s a movement at the door! and she says mulder, get up here right now!!!

scully with her gun out in the hotel room……. the suspense…….. she finds judy in the bathroom but SOMEONE ELSE IS BEHIND HER!!!

it’s the guy from before, who was on the phone with judy!! and he’s firing his gun!! scully is on the ground but she seems unhurt beyond the head slamming??

WAIT! it isn’t that scary phone guy who fired his gun!! it was SKINNER!!! who shot whoever set this whole operation up!!!

SKINNER TELEPORTATION TO THE SCENE....

judy is crying and scully is on the floor still, but it seems all is well in the world?

back to skinner’s office!!! which is rightfully his office again!!!

they bring him the report on the case, and there are lots of unanswered questions, including who that dude who was shot was. there is no identity whatsoever.

OH! mulder points out that there is no explanation as to why skinner was at the hotel last night, so please fill out that line yourself. which he says he can’t do, because it has no place in a report.

so mulder asks skinner to tell him what happened, off the record, and scully is waiting with bated breath… and he says he has some catching up to do. mulder kind of looks like someone just kicked him but he walks away :(

(oh mulder, funny how you're trying to get him to break these walls down, but you have some pretty damn solid walls of your own. now you know how it must feel... i jest, but it is so sad to see him unable to connect to skinner in the way he wants to. nevertheless, this is a happy ending)

skinner puts his wedding ring back on!!! and gets back to work!!!!!!!!!!!

WHAT!!!!!!! 

omg. so much to unpack here. i kind of assumed we would never get any skinner lore beyond his vietnam story, so this was a deeply welcome surprise. earlier i was very suspicious of him- you may recall some posts where i repeatedly say things along the lines of "i don't trust this guy"- but you can see how the narrative is shifting, how now we are supposed to trust him after he has done so much for scully and mulder. and it is very interesting to see how he operates, how he tries to put on that strong facade, and how it needs to crumble for him to move forward.

so, i think that there are two things at play here: one, someone who was trying to frame skinner for the murder and the attempted killing of his wife, and two, the whole situation with the scary old lady. we know the scary old lady was the one he saw in vietnam, and the one he attributes to saving his life, so it makes sense to think that some sort of guardian angel spirit would show up to him as an attempt to make him realize that he was losing what really mattered to him (sharon) due to his own fear. so even though she is scary looking, she led him to sharon, and appeared when he was with another woman as if to scare sense into him.

now, what is LESS clear is who did the killing! we know his prints were found on her, but did they check everything? how does that even work? maybe he strangled her in his sleep on accident, but given that someone else paid her to be there that evening, it would make more sense that someone else did it, no? except they said there was no sign of any intruders... so perhaps whoever it was who set that whole scenario up knew enough about him to know that was a possibility. in that case, they must have access to his medical records and know about his visions.....

must be the work of the cig man and his cronies.

so, if you accidentally kill someone in your sleep... how do you proceed from there?

well, i guess it doesn't matter, because he got his job back.

interesting to explore the concept of a guardian angel sort of creature as a being of terror, to shock you out of the mistakes you make that ruin your life. and it doesn't explain the glowy mouth or succubus allegations, but hey, there's always some stuff that doesn't entirely add up!

overall, i thought this was a really great episode. it was very different from the last one, but the tone shift didn't feel drastic and uncomfortable. i'm really interested in how mulder handled this whole thing, how he clearly has these projections for what he wants skinner to be and how he wants him to act, as if he's idolizing him. i think that is very fascinating and i will be mentally chewing on that for a while. and scully being willing to admit what she does not know, and observe what she cannot explain... mmm, it's just delicious to me.

so huh! i'm pleased! shoutout to walter, sharon, and the sleep demon that saved their marriage

[dumbass-duo-showdown]

Ahem ahem

After months of waiting!

I AM PRESENTING THE BRACKET FOR DUMBASS DUO SHOWDOWN!

CLICK FOR BETTER QUALITY!

The first 16 battles will happen at 8pm CET (gmt+1)!

Group 1!

Uhh btw some of these were put on one day accidentally

Roronoa Zoro & Monkey D. Luffy aka Zolu (one piece) vs Good times with Scar & Grian aka desert duo (hermitcraft)

Bill Preston & Ted Logan (bill & Ted’s excellent adventure) vs Jessie & James from team rocket (Pokémon)

Wayne & Raj (total drama) vs Denji & Power (chainsaw man)

Burton & Shawn (psych) vs Rosencrantz & guildenstern (hamlet & rosencrantz and guildenstern are dead)

Josuke Higashikata & Okuyasu Nijimura aka Josuyasu (JoJo’s bizarre adventure) vs Shouyo Hinata & Tobio Kageyama (Haikyuu!)

Isaac & Miria (Baccano) vs Jay Walker & Cole Brookstone/bucket aka Bruise (lego ninjago)

Ace & Deuce (twisted wonderland) vs Aang & Sokka (avatar: the last airbender)

Tommyinnit & Tubbo aka Clingyduo (dsmp) vs Shiver, Frye, & Bigman aka Deep Cut (splatoon)

Blue Beetle (Ted Kord) & Booster Gold (Michael Carter) aka boostle VS Mustard Lesbian and Ketchup Gay from this post

Mordecai & Rigby (regular show) vs Lindsay & Tyler (total drama)

Rui Kamishiro & Tsukasa Tenma aka Ruikasa (project sekai) vs Zuke & Mayday aka Bunk Bed Junction (no straight roads)

Ruffnut & Tuffnut Thorston (how to train your dragon) vs Jedediah & Octavius (night at the museum)

Merry & Pippin (lord of the rings) vs The Doctor & Donna (dr who)

Jedward (irish music history) vs Min-Gi Park & Ryan Akagi (infinity train)

Grif & Simmons (red vs blue) vs Beavis & Butthead (Beavis & butthead)

Bender & Fry (futurama) vs Porsche & Pete (kinnporsche)

GROUP 2

1/8-18:30 & 2/8 18:30

Kaz & Oliver (mighty med) vs Bobbi Morse & Lance Hunter aka Huntingbird (agents of S.H.I.E.L.D)

Henchman 21 & Henchman 24 (venture bros) vs Spongebob & Patrick (Spongebob Squarepants)

Galo Thymos & Lio Fotia (promare) vs Yusuke & Kuwabara (Yu Yu Hakusho)

Charlie Kelly & Mac (it is always sunny in Philadelphia) vs Donald, José & Panchito (the three Caballeros)

The Bros (the bro duet) vs Chai & 808 (hi-fi rush)

Markiplier & CrankGameplays aka Unus Annus vs Knockout & Starscream (transformers)

Caspar & Shez (fire emblem warriors: three hopes) vs Yukiko Amagi & Chie Satonaka aka Yukichie (persona 4)

Tk Strand & Evan Buck Buckley (911 on fox lonestar) vs Shane & Ryan (buzzfeed unsolved)

Ontario Pipping Plovers (birbs from canada) vs Kaminari Denki & Ashido Mina (My hero academia)

Rin Okumura & Kuro (blue exorcist) vs Adam Blampied & Sullivan Beau Brown (No barrels rolled)

Chip & Gillion aka Fish and Chips (just roll with it) vs Josuke Higashikata & Yasuho Hirose aka Yasugap (jojo's bizarre adventure)

Soldier & Demoman (team fortress 2) vs Cuphead & Mugman (the cuphead show)

Nott/Veth & Jester (critical role the mighty nein) vs Troy & Abed (community)

Walter White & Jessie Pinkman (breaking bad) vs Barbie & Ken (barbie life in a dreamhouse)

Cuddles & Toothy (happy tree friends) vs Heath Burns & Hoodude Voodoo (monster high)

Pete Wentz and Gabe Saporta (bandom) vs Wei Wuxian, Jiang Cheng & Nie Huaisang (MDZS/the untamed)

TAGS TO CHECK OUT!

#propaganda #dumbass duo showdown announcements #dumbass duo showdown update #round 1 #art gallery #polls

[thosearentcrimes]

Me for the past week: Damn I really need to focus on writing this paper about revolutionary self-perception in 1789-1794 France. No distractions, just relevant stuff, deadline's coming up.

Instead:

Maria Edgeworth's 1817 novel Harrington contains a vivid evocation of the Gordon Riots, with two unsympathetic characters taken for Papists and finding refuge in the home of the rich Spanish Jew, the father of the young Jewish woman at the centre of the love story.

huh never heard of her I wonder what was up with her

She held critical views on estate management, politics and education, and corresponded with some of the leading literary and economic writers, including Sir Walter Scott and David Ricardo.

that David Ricardo? from economics?

After Honora died in 1780 Maria's father married Honora's sister Elizabeth (then socially disapproved and legally forbidden from 1833 until the Deceased Wife's Sister's Marriage Act 1907)

wait what

The Deceased Wife's Sister's Marriage Act 1907 (7 Edw. 7. c. 47) was an Act of the Parliament of the United Kingdom, allowing a man to marry his dead wife's sister, which had previously been forbidden.

ok yeah that's pretty much what it says on the tin

The 1907 Act did exactly what it said and no more. It was amended by the Deceased Brother's Widow's Marriage Act 1921 to allow a widow to marry her deceased husband's brother.[36][37] This was a response to First World War deaths to encourage remarriages, reducing war widows' pensions and increasing the birth rate.[37]

the war really did do a lot for gender equality didn't it

anyway what was up with Maria Edgeworth, let's catch up with her

When passing through the village, one of the party wrote, "We found neither mud hovels nor naked peasantry, but snug cottages and smiles all about".[10] A counter view was provided by another visitor who stated that the residents of Edgeworthstown treated Edgeworth with contempt, refusing even to feign politeness.[11]

Ireland moment

Following an anti-Semitic remark in The Absentee, Edgeworth received a letter from an American Jewish woman named Rachel Mordecai in 1815 complaining about Edgeworth's depiction of Jews.[45] In response, Harrington (1817) was written as an apology to the Jewish community.

imagine if Graham Linehan had responded this way to criticism of his transphobic IT crowd episode :)

Rachel Mordecai married widower Aaron Marks Lazarus in 1821, and moved to Wilmington, North Carolina, where she lived for the rest of her life. The Lazaruses had four children together, three daughters and a son, M. E. Lazarus, in a household that also included Mr. Lazarus's seven children from his first marriage.

oh the lady had a son who she named after the author she liked who turned out to be willing to not be anti-semitic, that's nice

Marx Edgeworth Lazarus (February 6, 1822 – 1896) was an American individualist anarchist, Fourierist, and free-thinker.

oh well that sounds nice enough

Lazarus was a practicing doctor of homeopathy

ehhhh

Through his adult life, Lazarus tried to cope with apparent mental and physical disturbances, in particular what seemed to be chronic nocturnal emissions, a condition that at the time was labeled "seminal incontinence" or "spermatorrhea," believed to be detrimental and even fatal to the mind and body. Lazarus sought treatments through homeopathy, hydropathy, and electromagnetic treatments that seemed to bring some temporary relief. He also discussed the condition in his 1852 book Involuntary Seminal Losses: Their Causes, Effects, and Cure," where he suggested that the total sexual abstinence that he had tried to practice might be one of those causes. In 1855, Lazarus shocked some of his fellow Fourierists and free love advocates by marrying a 19 year old woman from Indiana, Mary Laurie (or "Lawrie).[1]

oh... a libertarian...

By the mid-1850s, social movements like Fourierism were in decline, and Lazarus's later life seems to have had less focus. When the Civil War broke out, most members of Lazarus's extended family lived in Southern states and generally supported the Confederate cause. In 1861, Lazarus, was staying with relatives in Columbus, Georgia and joined the local City Light Guard when war broke out, later serving as company physician for the Wilmington, NC Artillery.

on the one hand, obviously very bad to enlist in the Confederate army right, but on the other hand a semen retentionist doing homeopathy to them can't really be classified as "aiding" them can it

After the war, Lazarus continued to practice his areas of medicine and contributed articles and comments to various publications.[5] By his last years, though, he had become a disenchanted recluse known as the "Sand Mountain Hermit" of Jackson County, Alabama.

most normal libertarian

I wonder what those articles and comments are, and what kind of website they're hosted on. Oh.

[tokoyamisstuff]

Halloween with the Hellsing Characters

Inspired by an Anon ask. Can be read both romantic and platonic. No warnings.

Featuring: Anderson, Alucard, Walter, The Captain, Seras (+ Pip), Integra

Anderson:

Sorry, but this man is an absolute killjoy about every non-christian holiday. However in the end he's a big softie and can't deny you or the children any wish. Will fold like a lawn chair eventually.

Even then he'll complain. A lot. It's heretic to celebrate this, it promotes gluttony that, blah blah blah...

Man will get a heart attack seeing his sweet lil' babies dressed up as vampires and the likes, it's hilarious just observing him tryna keep his cool for their sake. You'll coerce him into going as Frankenstein but he refuses to acknowledge the similarities.

He definetly has a sweet tooth and can be bribed into having a good time though, especially after he discovers his bayonetts are working neatly for cutting pumpkins.

Alucard:

This is one silly, goofy man and you can't tell me otherwise. You think this is below him? Nah, he'll take any chance of entertainment he can get. There's nothing off limits or too cringe for him.

I mean hello?! It's the only time of the year he can literally be himself and people will think it's just a decent costume or special effects. Probably shows up headless or turns into a bat, shows people his 'puppies' or whatever.

Will absolutely overdo it, though. Terrifies the local children (and adults alike), the police will probably get involved at some point and Integra has to bail you guys out.

Ordinary events like these actually help him feel a little more human again, so he can't wait until next year.

Walter:

Not a fan of anything that had been introduced by the US, including this tradition. It wasn't part of his childhood either so he's not really eager to committ. Yet in the ends he loves to serve, especially people he's fond of, and he's very adaptable too.

Would like a more classy and mature approach, like going to some kind of masquerade. Could also see him hosting his own gathering.

There's literally nothing he can't do himself, from selfmade treats to a puppet show using his wires. Would absolutely love to do a partner-costume with you and can sew anything you want!

The Captain:

In all honesty this man would rather just spend the evening in peace and silence at home with you.

Is very passive about basically anything, but that means you can do whatever you want to him and he won't complain. Dress him up as something cute, chances are high he'll secretly love it. Doesn't even try to be scary, he just is.

Mostly just quietly looms in the background but he really is happy, he could watch you do stuff you like forever.

Seras and Pip:

They're the most hyped about it like?? omg yess thank you for asking

Wants to do it all: making sweets, decorating, trick or treat, visit a haunted house, go to a party. They have a whole childhood to make up for.

They're definetly pranksters and will wreak havoc in the entire neighbourhood. Act like Pip is some kind of glove puppet, use Seras' powers to entertain the children or make it rain candy, etc...

Despite being a literal median herself Seras is still soo jittery, will jump and scream at anything really. The fact that Pip tries to scare her doesn't make it any better. They're mostly giggling and chanting, though.

Integra:

To be honest it's been a while since this woman has actually enjoyed herself. It'll take a while to convince her but then she'll spare no expenses to assure the best experience ever. Private jet to all the best places it is.

No costume for her, she's intimidating enough. Gets in trouble for carrying real weapons too.

A lil' paranoid, always expecting the worst like an enemy to hide amongst the crowd. What better moment for a monster to strike would there be than during Halloween?

Calls it childish and unnecesssary a lot, but damn did she have fun (will rather drop dead than admit it).