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#today i am not remembering a ton but that's bc i got 4 hours of sleep last night. bc of putting things off due to what i now know is anxiet
morayofsunshine · 8 months
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planning a shopping trip in my head and going "hey, yesterday i remembered the reusable bags. that was pretty cool."
. . . then going "I REMEMBERED THE REUSABLE BAGS O_O"
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buzzerbeaterbin · 1 year
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Sean, my new PT
I saw a sports medicine doc back in the spring for my lower back pain, which has persisted since April 2022 despite ample rest, medication, 4 months of physical therapy, all kinds of exercises, and plenty of copays. This doc was amazing - so much so that I am now considering going into the specialty despite never having given it a second thought prior. Her treatment plan essentially boiled down to having me try working with a new PT, someone on her team with lots of experience with athletes in my age group and spine/hip pathology in particular. I finally had my first appointment with him today after booking it right after my MCAT (I know I'm generally healthy and in no place to complain on my own behalf but seriously smh @ our healthcare system bc patients always have to wait forever to be seen).
I love physical therapists, and in general, the study of physical therapy and kinesiology. For reasons similar to why I fell in love with yoga, I am consistently amazed by how such seemingly subtle stretches, movements, and form adjustments can make a world of difference in someone's pain or mobility, and how people I've met for mere minutes can tell me things about my own body that I've never known despite being the sentient soul living inside of it. I remember meeting Marcus (a personal trainer I got one free session with at my gym) and Kim (my physical therapist from Oct-Jan) and feeling stunned by how quickly they were able to catch on to my left hip instability. Today, Sean took my awe to the next level, and I knew he'd be different when the first thing he told me was that he could tell I was left-handed simply from the way that I walk.
He spent a solid hour and a half on his physical exam + teaching me about the how and the why my spine, sacrum, and - news to me - shoulder and cervical have been doing tons of compensatory work (possibly to restore equilibrium from my wack vestibular system. tbd on that) to, at the end of the day, protect me from collapsing, which in my case has resulted in a chronically stiff lumbar region. Yes, my unconditioned glutes, hamstrings, and core may be subject to improvement, but that fact alone can't explain the chronic pain, because if that were the only reason - wouldn't everybody on earth be feeling the same way? For the first time since onset, everything finally made sense. His clinical reasoning took into account all of my unique presentations and deficits, which was extraordinarily appreciated, because up until today I was only ever treated like a generic back pain patient.
E.g. My left hip is unstable when I squat. But why? Unlike the "general weakness" conclusion that I was fed since learning how to do compound lifts, so much clicked for me today when Sean said, yes, the left gives out first - but because the right hip flexor is severely tight, likely from the compensatory work that my spine has been teaching it to do. We did a series of stretches and adjustments together to try and loosen up my hip joint. I felt no different sensation afterwards, but when I tried squatting again - like magic, my left hip didn't give out nearly as much as before. The video evidence proved to me everything I needed to know. I scheduled another appointment with him about a month from now (because I will not realistically have to time or money to drive 30 min away on a weekly basis while I'm in school, also I never understood why I was seeing my other PT weekly because how much progress can I really make in a week?) and he gave me a program to follow until then. I plan on committing to it religiously.
Now that it's been over a year with this pain and consistent disappointment in my lack of progress, I was beginning to accept that this was my new normal. I went in to my appointment today, having almost forgotten about it since I scheduled it months ago, fully expecting to be given generic advice and planning on not seeing him again. I guess I still went because my subconscious had hoped that maybe, just maybe, something would be different this time. And maybe, just maybe, this time it will be.
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aiden-png · 4 years
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to celebrate the end of 2020, I’ve decided to share the highlights of the writing I did this year! I’m going to share a few of my favorite snippets from 2020, and I think this could be a fun tag meme to invite friends to join in on so they can appreciate their progress and hard work too! I couldn’t have written so much if it wasn’t for the great online community supporting me and all my wonderfully talented friends!!
I’m gonna tag @freshie-writes @silverdragon-imagines-blog @st0rmy-writes @fuckit-hero-of-trains @no-themes-just-memes @timeturner-jay and anyone else who wants to join in, feel free! you don’t have to do this if you don’t want to, but you all wrote amazing things this year and I’m gonna appreciate you for them!!
snippets below the cut (please do this or make a new post if you wanna join, just so we don’t flood everyone’s dashboard lol!)
it’s difficult to count for certain, but across 7 google docs from April to December 2020, I wrote 324,782 words just of Legend of Zelda fanfic! it’s been a crazy fun year and I think my writing has improved a ton since I started writing fic again in April! thank you all for supporting me through the last 9 months!! <3
here’s a highlight of some of my favorite excerpts from fics I wrote this year! Smoke on the Wind and Dream With Me are two of my favorite pieces I wrote this year for angst, while Four Feet of Pure Flirtation and Lessons in Love are my favorites for crack/fluff :D the other snippets are featured bc I’m proud of how the fics turned out !
Dream With Me: June 28, 2020 Legend and Hyrule sat on the beach, a mere two feet separating them. It felt like much more. Farther than they’d ever been apart before. The other heroes stumbled onto the sand, frozen in shock as they took in the scene before them. Legend, knife drawn and hands shaking dangerously. Hyrule, knees buried in the sand and hands held over his chest, trying desperately not to reach out again. The sun was rising, pinks disappearing into vibrant gold and crushed purple and bright blue. As dawn broke, their vision wavered. Hyrule gasped, Legend blurring before him, the sand beneath him fading, the roar of the waves diminishing. Magic hour was ending. “This isn’t a dream,” Hyrule whispered, and Legend’s shoulders shook with silent sobs. “I’m real. I’m here. Legend, come with me.” Hyrule stretched out his arm, fingers splayed, eyes begging. Legend flinched back, dagger slipping from shaking fingers. He stared, disbelieving. Vertigo consumed Hyrule’s senses, his vision clouding with black dots. “Take my hand, Legend!” Hyrule cried, and Legend jumped. He sprung forward, hand grasping. Hyrule felt nothing as Legend’s hand passed through his. “Hyrule!” He blinked, and found himself in an unfamiliar field, reaching towards sunrise.
Smoke on the Wind: August 7, 2020 Wind hadn’t always had this ability, but before his second adventure, before the ghosts became tangible to his skin and visible to his eyes, he still had a sixth sense of sorts to rely on. Back then he’d called it instinct, but now he called it a curse. It never helped him do better on his adventure, never showed him the way, never allowed him to prevent someone’s demise--only forced him to bear witness to it in all its excruciatingly gory detail. Some spoke of death like a mercy, others like a boon. Wind knew death like an old friend and he despised it with all the rage contained in his tiny body. Some feared death, some prayed for its delay. Wind feared no man, god, or figment of imagination. There was no reason to fear something he couldn’t prevent, there was no reason to pray to something that would never hear or listen. Some ran from death, some hid. Wind stared death in the eye and spat in its face. He thrust a magical fucking sword through its head and banished it to a watery grave.
Four Feet of Pure Flirtation: June 26, 2020 Maybe he should have shared just a tad bit more with them, but that was a regret for future Four to deal with. And really, he hadn’t been expecting it himself, so they couldn’t exactly blame him when Dark Link materialized in their camp one morning and sent Four’s heart racing in an unfamiliar-familiar way. Four felt the heat crawl up his chest, felt his tongue loosen, felt his eyes trail over Dark’s lithe form just a bit too slow to be innocent. No one had told him Dark was attractive. Although, Vio reminded him, we are the only ones attracted to villains. We are most decidedly not! Four shot back. The denial was empty. They most decidedly were.
Hero Through the Ages: June 19, 2020 Wild sighed, chin resting on his knees. He glanced over at Sky, feeling anxiety buzz within him as a question pushed at the back of his mind. “Hey, Sky… does the sword still recognize me?” Sky froze at the unexpected question, eyes searching Wild’s carefully schooled expression. Wild felt his anxiety rise but he held his ground as the older hero tentatively reached back and unsheathed the Master Sword. He closed his eyes for a moment, and Wild tried hard not to notice the new eyes on them as he waited for Sky’s response. He knew what the answer should be, but when the other slowly opened his eyes and held the sword out for Wild, it was still conflicting to feel the familiar weight of it in his hands. Not too heavy. Not burning. Perfectly at home, as if he’d just begun his adventure and still had many years left before the Calamity struck. Wild felt a pit in his stomach as he handed the sword back, Sky’s concerned gaze not helping. “How old were you when you pulled the sword?” Sky asked quietly, and Wild stared at his hands as they trembled slightly in his lap. “Too young.”
A Shower to Remember: July 4, 2020 Enter Twilight and Wild. TWILIGHT     I can see thee up th’re.     Come hither.     I simply wish to speak with thee.
Enter Legend to Shower Crashers. LEGEND     all’s well that ends well, I believe our plan hath been a success. cheers to thee all. FOUR     didst thou not see     Wild running     for his life not     a minute past? LEGEND     that is’t his problem, not mine.
Lessons in Love: July 9, 2020 The offer though, that’s what truly made Legend pause. Show you the ropes, he’d said. He should be insulted that Ravio thought he was that hopeless, but the man wasn’t wrong. Legend was absolutely, positively hopeless, evidenced by the situation he now found himself in. Should he say no and move on? Should he accept--and then what? Maybe he should laugh it off, say he was joking, or perhaps he should come clean now and tell Ravio how he felt? But he still didn’t know if Ravio felt the same, those dark eyes betraying nothing in the fading light of sunset. So, naturally, Legend continued to panic. “What do you mean by ‘show me the ropes’?” Legend asked, quick, defensive enough to pass as insulted. Ravio snorted, tasting the hot chocolate, and Legend’s eyes were drawn to his lips once more as if under a spell. “I mean no offense, Link,” Ravio laughed, seeming not to catch the blush on Legend’s face as Ravio used his name. “I just figured you might want some pointers. Flirting, hand holding, relationship advice, y’know? You don’t have to accept the offer by any means!” Flirting? Hand holding? Legend gulped. He was already an idiot. Maybe he could play dumb for a little while longer…
Scars: June 2, 2020 “I used to try and cover myself in public--I didn’t like the way people would whisper or stare when they saw. But eventually I came to accept the scars as part of me. I remembered how I got them, and I realized I wouldn’t be the person I am today without the journey that led to me getting these scars. And I like who I am…” Wild trailed off, sifting sand through his fingers as Warriors listened. “I’ve come to love my scars, because they hold such important memories for me. Even if some of the memories aren’t so great, I wouldn’t be who I am today without them, you know? And I wouldn’t trade that for anything.”
Beneath the Surface: July 13, 2020 For the first few months he had lied to himself, blaming the others or the weather or Shadow or Vaati or anything rather than admitting he had a problem. But Blue did, in fact, have a problem, and fighting and yelling it out wasn’t the healthiest solution. For the others it was easy. Green had Vio, for Wind could rarely move Earth, and Red got along with everyone he was so full of love to give. But Blue wasn’t good at teamwork, he wasn’t good at strategizing, and he wasn’t good at showing affection--he was good at being angry, and that was it. He was the protector, the toughest of them all in strength and will; but when you’re always protecting others, no one protects you. Not like Blue made it easy for the others to approach him, and he didn’t blame them for giving up. They were all struggling, they all had their own issues, and while Wind was a gentle breeze and Fire a warming comfort and Earth a steady rock--Water was impossible to hold down. He was forever changing, flowing, and while it meant that he could adapt well to new situations, it also meant that every time he felt close to getting a handle on his emotions they would slip from his grasp once more. His magic ebbed and swayed and his emotions followed their tide, not his, and so he pushed others away rather than admit he couldn’t handle himself. If protecting them meant distancing himself, then so be it.
The Point of No Return: June 19, 2020 He turned back to Four, brushing the back of his hand across his cheek. He’d wanted to share a meal with his partner. He’d wanted to see Four’s small smile--just for him--as he tried Hylian food for the first, second, hundredth time. Long ago, they’d promised to travel the world together. Four wanted to share everything with him; wanted to show him the forge, wanted him to meet his Grandfather, wanted to take him to see the Minish. After the adventure, Four had promised. He’d be free to go and do whatever he wanted, right by Four’s side. Well, he was at his side now. And this was not what they’d promised each other.
A Major Test of Strength: May 7, 2020 Even being worthy of the Triforce of Courage didn’t mean he was brave enough to act on, or even think, about how he felt about Sidon. He reasoned it was better not to say anything, especially now. He was going off to a battle he may not return from. Even if he burned to know if Sidon felt the same, it would be selfish to ask knowing he may be leaving for the last time. Link would rather go to the grave with his feelings then leave Sidon alone with them. At least if he died before confessing, Sidon would be able to move on, he hoped. Sidon was his best friend, and that was enough for now.
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mini-moongi · 4 years
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Notification [REVAMPED] || 1
Taehyung x Reader
Genre: Fluff
Story prompt: What if you got an alert on your phone every time someone thought of you? They tell you their thoughts in the form of text messages.
Summary: Alert!AU, School!AU; A mysterious app appeared on your phone and you can’t get rid of it?? It texts you people’s thoughts. One day, you accidentally send the star basketball player, Min Yoongi, to the nurse’s office.
A/N: I got the sudden urge to revamp this old fic of mine bc it has SO MUCH POTENTIAL I just sucked at writing :,)) Anyways it’s been a good few years since my last written fanfic so--
Chapters: 1 || 2 || 3 || 4 || 5 coming soon!
series masterlist
─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ───
You tapped tirelessly on your phone; your eyes so dry you can hear yourself blink. It’s 3 am and you have school tomorrow, but you just have to download this new album you found whilst “studying.” After it finishes loading into your playlist, a notification popped up. You thought that maybe your years of illegally downloading music has finally caught up with you.
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“ALERT: Unauthorized app: E C H O downloaded. [ERROR_606_RESET] LOG DELETED.”
You panicked, what if it’s a virus?? Going onto your home screen, you find an app called E C H O. Nothing else was out of the ordinary, except for the cryptid new app. After that fateful night, you’ve learned that it texts you the thoughts that people have about you. You couldn’t delete it, no matter how hard you tried, and you tried for weeks. Not many people think of you anyways, so it’s no biggie.
Thinking that was your first mistake.
Your friend, Byeol, was chasing you down the hallway with a dead roach she found on the floor. “Ew look, it’s guts are oozing out!!” She’s never been afraid of icky things, and will not hesitate in poking a dead organism with her bare hands. She’s a madman, and she knows you’re about to gag when she squeezes the guts of the roach between her fingers.
You’re running away from the horrifically explicit roach Byeol is holding, and as you turn your head to spew out an insult, you crash into another body. It sends you tumbling on top of them with no support to stop the fall. He lets out a deep guttural groan from the impact, and a loud “Fuck!” escapes the stranger’s lips.
Bumping into him was your second mistake.
You don’t even look at them, too scared to make eye contact as you blurt out,” I’m so sorry!!” You hastily try to recollect yourself and offer your hand to the poor victim. When you finally glance at him, you almost freeze up. You just whammed yourself into the school’s best basketball player, Min Yoongi™.
Min Yoongi is one of the seven guys at the top of the High School tier class. Some fan club even started the name, “Bangtan Boys” to address the seven handsome guys. He’s an excellent pianist, a fantastic composer, a basketball star, and unmistakably a bad boy. Guys and girls swoon over him, but he’s given them all the the cold shoulder. You recalled a friend of yours who said that his glare was so piercing, you literally feel your body tense and freeze up. You also happen to remember that he had to sit out on the last basketball game because he sprained his ankle. Ouch.
You look back over your shoulder, and of course, Byeol was pretending not to know who you were. She picked up conversation with a nearby stranger, hoping that they didn’t see the cause of this destruction. You didn’t blame her though, no one wants to get on Yoongi’s bad side. You were sure your phone had a ton of messages from ECHO, even though you’ve put it on “Do Not Disturb.”
Your guilt sinks in and it weighs heavy on your shoulders at the thought of you being the reason he’s in pain. “..Are you alright? Here, let me take you to the nurse.” You help him up and wrap his arm around your shoulder. “You can lean on me, it’s okay.” On the inside, it was definitely not okay. He accepted your offer, but he hasn’t said a single word to you this whole time. The air was thick and the silence was fueling your uneasiness.
You check him into the nurse’s office and explain the incident. Good thing it’s your lunch period, or your teacher would’ve chewed you out for being late. You check ECHO while the lady logs Yoongi into the records.
[11:37pm] Woah!! Did that girl just slam into Min Yoongi? She’s got balls..
[11:37pm] Should I pretend I don’t know her? Y/n will forgive me, right?
[11:38pm] What the fuck was that??? Why am I on the floor? And in pain??
[11:45pm] ...now what am I going to do? Who is she?
The nurse lady sets him up on one of those bed thingies, and you take this opportunity to apologize again. “I’m so sorry Yoongi, I should’ve been paying attention. If there’s anything I can do to make it up to you, just let me know.” The desperation must’ve been obvious in your voice.
“...What’s your name?” Yoongi stares at you. His eyes don’t waver when you look at him in surprise. He stays unmoving, waiting for your answer.
“My name? Oh, uhm... it’s Y/n. L/n Y/n,” You were not expecting a response from him, since he seemed uninterested when you tried conversing earlier. Yoongi asking for someone’s name is considered to be something really honorable; people would pay anything to have him say that to them. But then again, they would also pay Yoongi to step on them...
“I have a request for you then, Y/n.” He lulls his head to the side, thinking his decision over. “I want you to...” He looks at you with a gaze that you just can’t shake. Your breath is caught in your throat at his stare. What is he going to say? “Be my substitute.”
“Like a substitute teacher? I’m sorry but--” You try to quickly intervene. Does he think you’re an old hag?? You didn’t think you looked that old.. or maybe he means something else? “Or did you mean a substitute as in like for your basketball game because I don’t even know how to play basketball I just--”
“No, calm your tits. I meant you’ll act as my replacement for school and go where I usually go. I need you to be my eyes and ears while I’m stuck here and at home.” He draws out a long sigh,” You just need to collect my assignments and give them to me everyday after school until I get better. If you can, fill me in on what that day was like. It’s not that hard to do, right?”
You let out a sigh of relief. Just then, you hear a knock at the door. Three boys shuffle into the clinic, giving a casual greeting to the nursing staff. Your eyes widen, how could you forget? Of course the other Bangtan Boys would come check up on him. Kim Taehyung, Park jimin, and Jung Hoseok smile to acknowledge you and turn their eyes to Yoongi.
“Are you alright?” Hoseok asks him. He’s bubbling with energy as he speaks. “We were wondering where you went. I almost had a heart attack when they said you were here!!” Hoseok grabs at his chest like he’s in more pain than Yoongi.
Jung Hoseok is known for his positive energy and “legendary” hip work. He’s a street dancer who knows everybody, and everybody knows him. He’s also in medical class for vets, and he does charities in his free time. He’s super sweet and will sometimes send flowers to the fan club.
“Are you still eating lunch with us?” Jimin pipes up. He’s leaning on the nursing bed as he drapes himself dramatically across Yoongi’s shoulders. He whines,”What will we do without you? Please tell me you’re eating with us today..”
Park Jimin is also a dancer, but he does contemporary work. When he dances, he’s graceful, like a mythical creature. He’s shy and shorter than the rest of the guys, which makes people want to dote on him. If he dances with Hoseok though, he flips like a coin. He’ll act like a playboy and tease his audience when given the chance.
“Yah, You know I can’t.” Yoongi gestures to his ankle, and his inability to move due to the immense pain. “The nurse said I should stay in here for at least an hour or two.”
You don’t know if you should leave or stay. You were about to excuse yourself because your conversation with Yoongi ended a while ago. You shouldn’t expect them to talk to you when they don’t know who you are or why you’re there. You pick up your bag and sling it over your shoulder.
Taehyung mentions you, stopping you from escaping so easily. “Who is that?” He points to you. Leave it to Taehyung to point out the elephant in the room...
He’s popular for his charming personality and ethereal looks. Taehyung is in agriculture, and he often helps Hoseok out with the animals. He plays the saxophone, which combined with theatre class, drives the fans nuts. Taehyung also seems to be super observant, and he will point out small details other people seem to miss. If he was doing a police report, he’d probably be able to tell you the exact time the incident happened and what colored crocs the perpetrator was wearing. 
As if Yoongi just remembered that you were still here, he makes another request.” Oh, as the new Yoongi, can you also keep an eye on these guys? They’ll cause chaos if I’m not there.” 
“New Yoongi?” Jimin looks incredulously at you. “What do you mean--”
Yoongi retorts,” She’s my stand in, my understudy, my alternative, my stunt double, ecetera. Need I say more?” His cold demeanor doesn’t hesitate with the response. He talks as if it was a natural request, but what part of this is natural?
"How would I...” You trail off. You find yourself stammering, unable to voice your concerns. All of the guys, attractive ones at that, were staring at you.”..How would I even do that?”
“Isn’t it obvious? For starters, we all have the same lunch period, so just eat lunch with them or something.” Yoongi shrugs his shoulders,” Do I need to plan everything out for you?”
You’re quick to object,” No!! I’m.. I’m fine. It’s okay.” It’s bad enough that he’s injured, so you shouldn’t worry Yoongi anymore.
Taehyung’s eyes light up. He speaks as if he had a eureka moment. “We have the same forensics class, don’t we? No wonder I recognized you..” You were really hoping he wouldn’t have remembered that. If people see you hanging around these guys, they’ll get the wrong idea. 
“Well I guess that settles it. I’ll sit next to you in class, and we can be partners for that new project he’s assigning.” He takes you by the hand. His touch was so sudden and warm that it takes you a minute to realize you’re in the cafeteria already. He looks down at you and smiles. “This is our spot.”
Only when you part from him to grab your bag that you realize he held your hand this entire time. You start to miss his warmth, but you shake out any of those thoughts from your head. What were you thinking? Your heart pounds in your chest, and your cheeks grow hot. You breathe out a shaky breath, trying to calm down. Anyone would feel this way if they were you. You go from being an average joe to suddenly sitting next the the Bangtan Boys? It’s almost like you’re in a fanfiction. You shouldn’t fall in love with one of them, that would be too cliché and very, very dangerous.
You finished settling down your things and find that Taehyung was still waiting for you. Hoseok already rushed to the pizza line, and Jimin was swarmed by girls who made him bento boxes. He smiles politely to them all, unsure of how to decline. His eyes glance at you like a plead for help, but a girl starts to scold him so he looks away.
“What did you want to eat? Noodles?” It was pretty loud in the cafeteria, so Taehyung walked closer. He leaned down and whispered in your ear. “..Or do you want to eat me?” His hot breath tickled your ear. It was a deep and husky voice, one that sent shivers down your spine.
Shocked at his words, you jumped back. “W..What?” You never thought Taehyung was so bold. You’ve heard of him being flirty, but this was cutting it close. It was like dirty talking, but you’ve barely met him!!
He tried to suppress his laugh as he looked at you. “I said: Or do you want to eat meat?” He raises an eyebrow at you. He knows you’re flustered, and feigns innocence. “There’s a rice with two meat deal today. What did you think I said?”
You could’ve sworn he said “me” and not “meat,” but maybe you were thinking into it too much. You decided which one you wanted and Taehyung walks to the line with you. Whilst waiting for your turn, you check ECHO.
It was what you expected. Many of them were like:
[12:03pm] Wtf??? Who is that girl?
[12:03pm] Is she their girlfriend? No-- it has to be a cousin, right? But she’s so plain looking...
[12:04pm] Why is she holding Kim Taehyung’s hand? Don’t tell me--
[12:05pm] Y/n?? What did that girl do now.. ((((゜д゜;))))
Oh yeah, you should probably tell Byeol that you kind of have to sit with Bangtan during lunch now. Good to know that everyone is gawking at you now, I guess. There are hundreds of messages screaming about “who is that girl!1!1!!!!” so you scroll past most of them. One however, catches your eye.
[12:10pm] She’s so cute lol
You don’t think ECHO has ever sent you a compliment like this before. Someone thinks you’re cute? The thought warms your heart. This is the first time you’ve had an admirer.
“Hey, what are you looking at on your phone?” Taehyung rips you to reality. “How do you have so many messages?” He starts to lean over your shoulder to get a glimpse.
Antsy, you turn off your phone and press your hand to his chest to give some distance. “It’s.. It’s my online friends! They wanted to play the new game with me.” 
He stands back up, no longer breathing on your neck. “Oh? The one that was released just last week? What was it called...” He ponders for a minute,” Animal Crossing?” 
You nod. Conversation starts from there, and you let out that breath you’ve been holding in. You both pay for your meals and head over to the table. You could see Hoseok stuffing his face with pizza and sprite while he scribbles down answers to a worksheet. Jimin is desperately trying to get him to eat some of the bento boxes, but all of his attempts were futile. 
“...So I know you’re the New Yoongi or whatever, but what’s your real name?” Hoseok asks you. “If you don’t know me already, I’m Jung Hoseok, but you can call me Hobi!” 
Jimin and Taehyung look at each other. You hadn’t even thought to introduce yourself earlier, how much more embarrassing can this day be? Quick, be cool!!
“I’m L/n Y/n, but just Y/n is fine.”
“You probably know us already, but you can call me Tae or any various nickname you can conjure up,” He laughs,” The more creative the better.”
Jimin nudges his shoulder,” Like Spoiled Yogurt Kid?” It’s hard for the smaller one to contain his laughter.
“It was one time!!” Taehyung playfully shoves him away, clearly embarrassed. “It’s not my fault my sleep paralysis demon told me to eat the 3 month old yogurt at like 2 am.” He grumbled,”Ugh, it’s not like I tell everyone about your weird impulses..”
You couldn’t help but stifle a laugh. Hobi notices and adds fuel to the fire,”Yeah, get a load of this guy. He’s blaming all of his mistakes on his sleep paralysis demon. Poor demon, honestly.”
Jimin continues to mock Taehyung teasingly, getting him worked up.“You know what??” Taehyung growls as he whips his head around to face you. His soft brown hair falls over his eyes, and his jaw is clenched as he looks at you with an emotion you can’t quite read. His face is flushed, but he tilts his head up in a cool manner. If you didn’t know any better, you’d say he was serving up some bedroom eyes. 
He runs his fingers through his hair and speaks with a voice that oozes sex appeal without meaning to,“If you don’t know what to call me, just say Oppa.” Taehyung’s eyes widen as if he realized what came out of his mouth. He covers his lips with the palm of his hand and instinctively looked at how you’d react.
 It was your turn to flush from embarrassment. Before your brain could process what just happened, the words croak out,”..o..okay?” 
Hobi is choking on his sprite,”Damn, what the--” He continues to try and suppress his coughs,” Who the hell taught you that? Namjoon? Jin?” Hoseok shakes his head in disappointment. You thought it was because he ruined his drink, but then he said,” Ah, I told them to stop doing stuff like that.. If Yoongi were here he probably wouldn’t even know how to scold you.”
Jimin’s mouth is agape in shock. He suddenly doubles over the table, unable to contain the fit of laughter inside of him. “Wha- that was so smooth!” He’s holding onto his stomach for dear life, and his shoulders shake up and down. He gives suggestive eyebrows to Taehyung, whose ears are scorching red. “I didn’t know Taehyung was such a player.”
Taehyung is trying to hide himself with the sleeves of his hoodie. He’s silent at first, but eventually he speaks barely above a whisper. “...I don’t know what came over me..” His words tremble and tread lighter than a feather so scared it might step on another bomb.
"Was it your sleep paralysis demon?” You make a witty remark despite the blush dusted across your face. 
Tae sinks farther into his chair,” Oh my god...” He can’t help but laugh a little at your joke. “..Please forget about what I said today.” 
Jimin’s laughter dies down as he looks at you. His smile is soft and reassuring. “Don’t worry, Y/n. He’s usually not like this. I swear, we’re all gentlemen.” The bell suddenly rings, signaling that lunch was over. Jimin starts to clean up his spot, stuffing the unfinished bentos into his bag for later. “Ah, Taehyung, you’re saved by the bell this time, but next time you have got to show me some moves.” He winks before leaving for his next class.
Hoseok waves to you and Taehyung,” I’d walk with you two if I could, but my next class is across campus. I gotta dash, but good luck with Forensics!”
You’d almost forgotten about Forensics with Taehyung. Unfortunately, Tae seems to stay unmoving from his spot. You would be like that too if you were him, but you really can’t be late for class. It’s better if you approach him now rather than later, so it’s not as awkward during class. 
“Hey...” You start out. He doesn’t respond as his head is till buried in his arms. You hesitate at first, but you put your hand on his shoulder. “...Taehyung Oppa?” 
Immediately he shoots up, his eyes are wide and he’s as stiff as a board. He brushes your hand softly away and grabs his bag. He avoids your gaze as he packs up, but he returned his gaze when you started walking in the hallway. His eye’s remain forward, but he speaks to you,“...I didn’t think you’d actually call me that.” He chuckles. 
“Oppa?”
He rubs his hand across his face and he licks his lips,” Yeah, that.” He sneaks a glance at you, but since you were already looking at him, he turns his face away. 
─── · 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ───
-A/N-
oof it’s been AGES since my last bts fic. If y’all are following me bc of my text au, I’m going to try and update that soon too! I... did not expect to have such a flirtatious Taehyung,, but honestly I’m kinda into it. (  ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
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iraprince · 5 years
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anyway in the face of me sitting here and handing out tons of advice here’s a reality check:
ive been sitting at my desk since 2pm. it’s now almost 11pm. i checked the app i use to log how much time i’ve actually spent focused and working, and it says... 2.5 hours.
i mean, i know that’s not 100% accurate. i missed at least an hour by forgetting to set the timer while i was working, and sometimes i didn’t have it on while i was doing Work Stuff like responding to emails and arranging invoices and updating organizational stuff, etc etc.... but even when i try to count up all the stuff i forgot to log there’s no way i did more than like 4 hours of actual concentrated work in the 9 hours i’ve been down here.
that sucks. that’s really embarrassing and discouraging to see staring back at me on my screen. i’m not talking abt this stuff bc i have it all figured out, i’m talking about it bc i’m really struggling.
but on the flip side: even with that number, which i am NOT happy with, i got the stuff i wanted to get done today finished. i’m still on track for most of my deadlines. sometimes raw Time Spent isn’t the end all be all, and the important thing is that i AM getting stuff done, even if i have to really struggle and fight my shitty brain for it, and even if i can’t stop thinking about how much more stuff i could be getting done if i wasn’t LIKE this
i know i can improve and i want to and i’m working really hard to identify all the like.... HOLES in my bucket where all my time seems to be pouring away from me, and i’m trying really, really hard to plug them, and even tho it’s frustrating it’s important to remember that the trying is worth something
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mattygraygubler · 5 years
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our campus: chapter 1 (tom holland imagine)
summary: tom and reader go to the same college and y/n is tasked with being his tutor, they don’t really get along at first (because i love reader and tom hating each other trope)
warnings: drinking, mentions of being roofied
word count: 1.3k, nice and short to start off
a/n: bold is emails, the school is small liberal arts, i called it AU at one point but that’s simply bc a is the first letter of the alphabet
for a list of characters click here
to be added to the tag list send me an ask !
masterlist
✰✰✰✰✰
“Y/N can you stay after class today?” Your professor asks as you walk into class. You nod, anxiety already filling your stomach. What could she possibly want to talk to you about?
Today’s discussion in political conflict was a continuation of your unit about revolution, today you were discussing the Cuban Revolution and Fidel Castro. 
You still managed to participate in the discussion a bit, you loved Professor G and her class was one of your favorites. 
“Alright that’s all for today, let’s wrap up a bit early.” G says. 
“Wanna grab some food?” Emily asks you. 
“G wants to talk to me, but I’ll see you at mine later? I got a delta chi invite so we’ll see what everyone else heard about and then we’ll see.” 
“Ok!” Emily said. The rest of the class emptied out as you approached your professor. 
“Y/N,” She said. “I have a proposition for you.” “What’s up?” You asked. Normally you wouldn’t refer to a professor so casually, but G was different. She’d been your advisor since freshman year, and had helped you through some really difficult times. 
“So I have a student, his name is Thomas, and he’s struggling a little bit. He’s a theater major but is taking some of his big requirements this semester.” “Like what?” “Statistics, writing, astronomy, and comparative politics.” “Oh. He really went for it.” You said. Writing and stats were required, as was a science course and some type of history. All four of those classes you had taken, and excelled in. 
G laughed, “He really did. I was wondering if you would be interested in tutoring him. I know you couldn’t fit T/Aing into your schedule, but I’d be able to give you some credit depending on how often you meet.” 
“How often would we meet?” 
“Twice a week, maybe, for about an hour?” You sighed. You didn’t necessarily need the credit, but there was a chance you could graduate early, so you agreed. 
“Fantastic! Here’s his email,” she said, scribbling it down on a piece of paper. 
“I trust you, but I don’t necessarily trust Thomas, so if you could let me know when and where you meet, that would be great.” You nodded and told her to have a nice weekend, drafting an email on your way home. 
SUBJECT: Tutoring (from Professor Gonsky)
Hey,
My name’s Y/N, Professor G reached out asking if I could tutor you. I don’t have a ton of room on my schedule, but I could meet for our first session Sunday at the library from 4-5.
If you could meet me in the AU honors study room that’d be great. 
Y/N
By the time you got to your room, you had an email. 
SUBJECT: Re: Tutoring (from Professor Gonsky)
Bet. Aren’t only honors college students allowed in there? 
Sent from my pants
You sighed. Of course G would ask you to tutor this kid, she knew you wouldn’t say no. He was probably some dumb frat boy on the verge of expulsion. 
But he was a theater major… Maybe he was actually a nerd that was stupid. It was possible. 
SUBJECT: Re: Re: Tutoring (from Professor Gonsky)
I am an honors college student. I’m allowed to bring guests. 
4pm Sunday. Don’t be late. 
Y/N
You heard some knocks at your door and went to open it. As the only one with a single, your room was always used as the movie night room, the crying about a boy room, and most importantly, the pregame room. 
You opened the door to your three best friends, all carrying large bags of stuff. 
“What’s up guys,” you said. Emily pulled a handle of svedka blue raspberry vodka out of her bag and winked at you. 
“Let’s get fucked.” She simply responded. You laughed and let your friends inside. 
There was some mild chatter as you all got ready in your not-very-large room, with Ally making fun of Emily for “forgetting” to bring underwear. 
“Wait, Y/N, what did G want to talk to you about?” Emily asked. “Ugh, she wants me to tutor some stupid kid.” “Is he a freshman?” Emily followed up. “No, he’s a junior, he’s one of her advisees, so he’s gotta be a junior.” 
“So she’s making you tutor him?” Isabelle said. 
“She’s not really making me. I’m getting a credit for it.” Your friends groaned. 
“Y/N you could’ve graduated after freshman year, give it up, you don’t need any more credits.” Ally said. 
“Hey!” You retorted, throwing a pillow at her. “I’m double majoring!” “And minoring, who does that?” Isabelle said. You rolled your eyes. 
“Leave me alone, it’s only like two hours a week.” 
“PLUS!” Emily shouted, starting to bounce on the balls of her feet like she always did when she was excited. “What if he’s cute!! OH OH OH! What if he’s hot for teacher.” She said and shimmied her shoulders. 
“You’re ridiculous.” You replied. “Plus he’s a theater major, which means-”
“He’s either gay or not cute.” Ally finished. She was the only theater major in your group. “What did you say his name was? I probably know him, it’s not a huge department.” “Thomas.” You replied. Ally scrunched her eyebrows as she applied her lipstick. 
“Thomas… Nope, no Thomas. There’s two Toms, or maybe he goes by his middle name?” 
“Maybe.” You replied, then asked quickly where Emily got her top, trying to change the subject. It was just tutoring, and your friends were wayyyy too boy crazy. Except for Ally, who decided her college lesbian phase was not a phase. 
Pretty soon you were all checking snapchat and instagram dms, trying to figure out which party to go to tonight. 
“I got sig ep and delta chi, like always,” You said. 
“I got sig ep too. And PSK.” Ally said. 
“Sig chi and Zete. But please, please, can we not go to zete? I think Garrett is rushing.” Isabelle said. Garrett and Isabelle had an on-again off-again thing last year, his freshman year and your sophomore year. 
“I got…” Emily said scrolling. 
Emily was every frat boy’s dream, petite and blonde, great smile, and the most bubbly person you know. All of your friends were gorgeous in their own ways, but Emily, with her massive flirty personality, could always be depended on to have a fuck ton of invitations to frat parties. “Sig chi, sig ep, beta, aepi…. Ooooo I forgot to tell you guys! I met this boy today, his name is Harrison, and he gave me info for the delt party!” 
“No.” Isabelle and Ally said immediately. 
“Why not?” Emily pouted. 
“Emily, how can you remember every person you’ve ever met’s name and yet you can’t remember the name of the only frat that roofied one of us?” Ally asked. Emily’s jaw dropped. 
“Y/N, I am so sorry, I totally forgot.” “Hey it’s ok! It was two years ago, the guy was a senior, and they were kicked off for a semester. I haven’t heard anything bad about them since being reinstated, maybe the guys in it now are different.” 
“Emily, you see Harrison again and actually find out if he’s a nice guy, and if he is, we’ll go to delt next weekend.” Ally said. 
“Alright so delta chi?” You asked. 
“We always go to dchi. I heard sig ep has an ice luge…” Isabelle said raising her eyebrows. 
“Bet.” You said and got up, grabbing your keys and phone, sticking your pepper spray in your bra, just in case. Your mom got you and your friends all bedazzled pepper sprays following the roofying incident freshman year. 
You all took one last shot and headed out for the night. 
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glade playlist
got two likes on my post so that’s literally 20% of my readership saying hell yeah fuck yeah glade playlist. i am a servant to the masses. here it is, w descriptions under the cut.
some warnings: don’t expect this to be good. this is Vibes Only and an excuse to talk about Him. the order of the songs tells no story and thus does no sin. skip the songs you don’t like because it makes no difference at all.
https://open.spotify.com/playlist/5ZJRrektFybq9vksjnWGnh?si=jhSi_lBeThqaB74HO1UrQA
1. Above The Clouds Of Pompeii by Bear’s Den
Just don't cry Hold your head up high She would want you to She would want you to You said stay in the car and wait There's just some things I have to say Don't you know I miss her, too I miss her just as much as you So my father and my son As you end what she's begun You'll lie patient by her side With roses red come lilies white
this came from a magnus/julia playlist originally and it fucks, but it’s more here for the Vibes than anything else. if I had to explain it, I’d say this is immediately post like. lent coming home and telling glade that she doesn’t remember anything about him. this is the vibes of red being down for her nap, blissfully unaware that the motherfuckers have left and glade sitting down heavily on the couch of the home they shared and finally, tiredly, burying his face in his hands as he processes the fact that when lent first saw him, there wasn’t a spark of recognition in her eyes, and how much that hurts even if she’s promised to come back to him anyway. thats the vibes.
2. Best Intentions by Hodera
I guess we'll just stop talking then We can forget this ever happened 'Cause it's obvious I can't just be your friend I'm going in circles 'cause I only have one paddle out here alone Got back to shore 'bout 2AM I grabbed your jacket on the boat dock And I pulled you in and we kissed It was so dark, I found your lips Only because I felt your breath I know that soon I will be fine You left this void the size of pines lake Now I'm filling it up one cup at a time And if I knew that was the last time I'd see you I might have said Hey Mary, that was one crazy summer I know after this we'll never see each other I'm old enough now to know nothing lasts forever The only thing I ask is please Remember every detail of this moment Because once you close that door you'll never see me And some day you might remember When we drove out to the lake And stole a boat to see the moon eclipse go by
this one is a break up song so it’s here for the Vibes. i’ve kind of been envisioning this as the song glade would have written/sung if lent decided that she’d rather have amaunator than him, when he told her that he was a criminal. it’s about a summer romance that didn’t go far enough, and it fucks majorly, and it comes from a universe just a little bit to the left, where glade and hymn met but never actually took all the steps glade and lent did.
3. New Religion by The Heydaze
A city of strangers, the streetlights, they change us We all need a little bit more, we all need a little bit more The saints and the liars, the dealers and buyers We all need a little bit more, we all need a little bit more But somewhere there's a light A sign that it's alright I find it by your side People get lost in repetition Working and watching television Hard to wake up in the morning It's hard to wake up in the morning I'm watching you dancing in the kitchen I could call you my new religion You're waking me up in the morning You're waking me up in the morning, yeah
IF YOU LISTEN TO NO OTHER SONG FROM THIS PLAYLIST. LISTEN TO THIS ONE. sometimes I listen to this song and I get stuck in a loop where it’s the only music anyone has ever listened to because I love this song so much. anyway this is a REALLY good gladelent song. Vibes of them falling in love that first time, and lent’s recovery when she’s started getting her sight back, probably after she takes relentless as her next virtue name, and glade finding her dancing and singing to herself in the kitchen they now share, and just watching and loving her so much because he forgot how good it was to see her happy.
4. Gray Flowers by The Gray Havens
They cried, We told you stay away, From that crazy color, Turn around if you don't we'll break you, And you don't have anyone to save you, He said, She needs me to stay, Cuz gray can take her sorrow, So I will die tonight so she will know, That gray will stay in the color-code, For my love I will die you know, But before I do let the record show, That I brought her flowers every day, And she loved them, She loved me she'd never felt that way, So if you feel you need some gray, That's ok child, cuz you know you've just got to Ask, And I'll come back
this ones about love transforming a society around them. idk i like it. the townspeople who hate the color gray are the crownsguard @ gladelent. is that anything??? who cares not me it’s on Here one way or another!
5. Two by Sleeping At Last
I know exactly how the rule goes Put my mask on first No, I don't want to talk about myself Tell me where it hurts I just want to build you up, build you up 'Til you're good as new And maybe one day I will get around to fixing myself too I don't even know where to start Already tired of trying to recall when it all fell apart I just want to love you, to love you, to love you well I just want to learn how, somehow, to be loved myself Like a force to be reckoned with A mighty ocean or a gentle kiss I will love you without any strings attached And what a privilege it is to love A great honor to hold you up
this one is about loving someone despite not loving yourself quite yet and like. it’s a good one for pre-fall gladelent. glade was a squatter and a thief trying to provide for himself; he wasn’t exactly his own biggest fan, but love happens when you aren’t expecting it sometimes, and There He Was, head over heels for a woman who could have been (and should have been) arresting him. it is simply. a good love story.
6. Ezra by Becca VanDerbeck
Someday you'll find a Place where you belong Somewhere to settle down and plant Your roots, and grow up strong Oh, I hope that you'll remember all My silly little songs Honey, please remember these Few things in all you do Won't you always love your neighbor Wear a smile, and tell the truth Don't be scared of what you don't know And don't be afraid to lose Cause there’s a lesson there for Learnin', there's a lesson if you choose Oh and listen, kid, I promise I will Always see you through Cause Ezra, I love you, I love you, I do Oh Ezra, I love you, I love you, I do Ezra, I love you, I love you, I do
this is a glade and red song. i actually sing it as “red, girl, I love you, I love you, I do” bc I so strongly associate it with Them. it’s just a good, sweet song! glade dances red around the living room while singing it and she babbles along and maybe she sings it at him when she wants to be danced, because she’s a baby with both fangs and tusks and its SO hard to use words but humming a vague melody and clapping at your daddy gets you what you want so why would you Talk? smh. (someone needs to stop me before i get really emo about this tradition continuing into red’s childhood and adolescence and how when she’s upset glade will hum it to her when he hugs her and uh oh..... misty about this now................. they are a Fambly.........) all his kids get their own songs but reds song is Special, I think, in this way.
7. Black Coffee Morning by Bluebiird
Just too tall to comfort Just too big to hold But I'll fit you inside my future At least that's the lie we told And it's a black coffee morning on the east side And I'm singing all the time today Cause you're saying that you love me with your big eyes But your words don't come out that way Oh, play it again for me Big bright moon in the sky And give me one more night with my baby And that'll be alright
this is a little bit of a bitter one, as the name including black coffee implies. I imagine this one as a vibes of, “my wife went out to adventure again and I haven’t seen her in three weeks as a consequence.” like does he respect that lent has a ton of wanderlust? yeah. does he wish she’d stay home safe with him so he never has to worry when he goes a few days between Sendings from raini whether she’s alive or dead? also yeah. this is the song that plays the morning after lent left for hell, after two years of being not quite satisfied with retirement. this is the song that glade wakes up to, his bed empty, because they have an agreement now that lent sneaks out rather than glade potentially having to say goodbye for a Last Time. this is red babbling questioningly at him when mama hasn’t been home in hours and glade picking her up and singing to her rather than answering.
8. Band of Gold by The Gray Havens
I'm never get'n over you No I never will be over you Yes I threw away the key That bound my heart to yours To the bottom of the sea I don't need it anymore No there's no turn'n back for us There's only movin' forward Cuz this love is a band of gold When the fire's burn'n and When the embers feel cold So when I hold you in my arms I hope you know That this love is a band of gold
note: did NOT know i had two songs by the same guys on here! nice going gray havens. this is a good marriage song. that’s the vibes of this one. staying together through thick and thin, waking up and choosing to love that one person every single day, smiling down at your wedding ring even when they’re not around you for the symbol and reminder that they love you just as much, that they made that same commitment.
9. Farther Along by Josh Garrels
There's so much more to life than we've been told It's full of beauty that will unfold And shine like you struck gold my wayward son That deadweight burden weighs a ton I go down to the river and let it run Wash away all the things you've done Forgiveness alright Farther along we'll know all about it Farther along we'll understand why So cheer up my brothers, live in the sunshine We'll understand this, all by and by, oh yeah
so, full disclosure, some of these songs came from my godfucking/religious trauma playlist. this is one of these songs. as such it’s? more of a Vibe than the other songs. it only kinda fits as a song of faith that things will get better even if you don’t understand why they are the way they are right now. I think of it as like. kind of glade’s relationship with faith? he hopes it’s all for a reason, that one day he’ll understand why bad shit is happening, but he doesn’t have a lot of faith in any actual god. but mostly this is just vibes.
10. How To Be Yours by Chris Renzema
You say that you love me, don't say that you love me 'Cause I don't know how to be yours You say that you want me, don't say that you want me 'Cause I don't know how to be yours I still act like an orphan I guess And my hard heart breaks to confess That even while you hold me As I cry on the floor I still don't know how to be yours So love me or hate me I'm not going anywhere Leave me or take me You still bear my signature Know me or not Seen or forgot I'm not walking out on you
lent and glade are both orphans and this is the song about doubting the love that comes your way even when you’ve not necessarily been given a reason to. it’s sung both by the doubter and the person refusing to leave them just because of that, and I think it’s nice! glade and his doubts, come amnesiac lent, that she will actually want to stay with him once she has her grace back with amaunator, and lent and her doubts, post fall, that he’ll stay with her now that she’s no longer good or righteous, now that she no longer deserves the name hymn.
11. Take Me To Church by Hozier
My lover's got humor She's the giggle at a funeral Knows everybody's disapproval I should've worshiped her sooner If the Heavens ever did speak She's the last true mouthpiece Every Sunday's getting more bleak A fresh poison each week "We were born sick", you heard them say it My church offers no absolutes She tells me, "Worship in the bedroom" The only Heaven I'll be sent to Is when I'm alone with you I was born sick, but I love it Command me to be well A-, Amen, Amen, Amen Take me to church I'll worship like a dog at the shrine of your lies I'll tell you my sins and you can sharpen your knife Offer me that deathless death Good God, let me give you my life Take me to church I'll worship like a dog at the shrine of your lies I'll tell you my sins and you can sharpen your knife Offer me that deathless death Good God, let me give you my life
obligatory hozier song. it’s horny and it’s religiously themed. this is also from my godfucking/religious trauma playlists. there’s not a whole lot to say here except that I wanted some hozier on this playlist bc glades og design/concept was “half orc hozier” and take me to church slaps. next song.
12. Belly of the Deepest Love by Tow’rs
The beats of hammers felt like drums of war Killed for the words you swore From the belly of the deepest love, The hills trembling throats sing hallelujah Like the flowers on a dogwood tree Blush with blame you took for me Oh how you wish to be with me Oh how you wish to be with me Do you remember seeing the man Covered by the same blood he damned Join the song with the sky in the darkest hour I need something to hold on to Stronger than the iron that held you Louder than the roar of the crowd that day
I think this one is pretty immediately post lent’s fall too. it’s got jesus imagery in there but I think that fits. this one doesn’t have a whole lot behind it except for post fall vibes.
13. One Jump Ahead by Brad Kane
Gotta keep One jump ahead of the breadline One swing ahead of the sword I steal only what I can't afford (That's Everything!) One jump ahead of the lawmen That's all, and that's no joke These guys don't appreciate I'm broke
this is a fun little song about scoundrel!glade! I thought it fit nicely and also it makes me think about the Aladdin au slash novel Lex and I have where glade lifts something valuable (her holy symbol I think?) off of lent and shows it to her and basically says, “I’ll just keep this so I know you’ll come see me next time” intending it to be a tease and then her gripping her sword hilt and holding her hand out with this fake smile and going “or you’ll give it back Now” (because she Can’t let him get away with that) and him going “or I can give it back now! great idea!” he really Thot it would go over better. but it’s okay bc they fell in love anyway.
14. Karma by AJR
I've been so good, I've been helpful and friendly I've been so good, why am I feeling empty? I've been so good, I've been so good this year I've been so good, but it's still getting harder I've been so good, where the hell is the karma? I've been so good, I've been so good this year Time, I know we're out of time But what if sad thoughts come and I can't stop it Bye, I don't wanna say bye If only I could keep you in my pocket To give me some diagnosis of why I'm so hollow Please give me instructions, I promise I'll follow I tripped on my ankle and fractured my elbow But doesn't that mean that the tour's gonna sell though? I try to explain the good faith that's been wasted But after an hour it sounds like complaining Wait don't go away, can I lie here forever? You say that I'm better, why don't I feel better? The universe works in mysterious ways But I'm starting to think it ain't working for me Doctor, should I be good? Should I be good this year?
similar vibes to farther along but much less hopeful and more desperate while still trying to sound like an upbeat song. this is glade telling amaunator off for letting lent go when she is nothing but Good. this is glade when he’s still a thief, going hungry because he fed his sister tonight rather than himself, asking whatever god might be listening why it was them who were punished with this because they weren’t doing anything wrong. this is glade setting the table for the motherfuckers, smiling even though it’s immediately post lent’s rez ritual, because they were the ones who actually saw her die, not him, and they’re good people who need to catch a break so here he is, getting them to joke and laugh with him while lent sleeps off her resurrection sickness in the other room.
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miafic · 5 years
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hey aly! so today has been a Day and idk if you saw what i shared on facebook a few days ago but it was something to do with that and i am Exhausted. how was your day?
i saw your pfp update but i didnt see anything else. i didnt wanna ask in case you didn’t want to talk about it. i hope you’re doing okay. im here if you wanna talk! 
today has been busy! i woke up and made stew with my mom. it’s been in the crock pot all day. we’ll eat in about an hour :) idk what i did between like 11 and 1 but at 1 i had a call with the professor i’m TAing for. we were on the phone for over two hours! we got a ton of stuff done, though. i redid her syllabus with all the updated dates, and she taught me how to work our online grading system, and i’m really excited. i think this is a job that i’ll be good at. 
i got a little stressed bc i feel guilty about having a class during part of her class, so i’ll be late. but i might try to move it, idk. i’d love a MWF 8am, but that’s not a choice >:( they only offer late morning and early afternoon slots for the advanced lab i need.
also im now remembering that i wanted to find a job this semester… maybe i’d better wait on that til i get school under control lol.
gonna edit the rest of chapter 4 now unless people wanna keep playing would you rather! :)
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toothmuncher3000 · 5 years
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Tips for How to Survive Blood Tests/Self Injections
(From your local trans lad)
CW: Needles, blood, detailed medical stuff. If you’re not cool with that, power on through and scroll past! Have a safe day.
This is just a quick comforting word and bit of advice to anybody who is (like I was) incredibly anxious about blood work, learning how to inject yourself with T or E, and all the various accoutrement!
[disclaimer: I am Canadian and a transmasculine person on T starting April 6, 2019. My experiences aren’t universal and I’m still learning a lot, but this is just some stuff I wish I knew before getting started! This is a very loose guide that will give you a rough idea of what to expect through my own experiences, any nurses/doctors you see for this process will be able to go over the finer details with you.]
Blood Work
1. Don’t look at the needle when getting your blood taken. It’s kind of thick and big. I go so far as closing my eyes.
2. It’s incredibly quick, I had three vials drawn today and it took less than 20 seconds. It hurt less than a stubbed toe or whacking my elbow on something.
3. I’m Canadian, so my session was completely free. All I had to do was show up with my requisition form from my doctor and my BC resident care card. I waited for about 25 minutes because I was just a walk in with no appointment, but you can make appointments if you want. So if you live where I live, hopefully that’s helpful to you! LifeLabs have my back.
4. You can’t eat or drink anything but water for 8 hours before hand. Sorry! My advice: book an appointment early in the day.
5. The process went like this: I went in, hung up my bag, and rolled my sleeve up my arm. The nurse chatted with me for about thirty seconds, I avoided looking at the needle. She wrapped a rubber band around my upper arm, pushed on my inner forearm to locate the vein, and sanitized the area. She asked me to take a deep breath, I closed my eyes, and she put the needle in. To draw three vials took about 20-30 seconds. Then she asked me to take another breath, she pulled the needle out, put a cotton swab and kept pressure for a moment before putting a band-aid. Then I kept pressure for 3 minutes to keep it from bruising, and then I was gone. That’s it!
6. Your anxiety is totally valid. Nobody likes needles, but honestly it’s not that bad at all! It’s a pain in the ass and your arm is gonna be achy for awhile. Avoid lifting heavy things or moving it around too much for like 4 hours after a draw. Just remember that while needles are scary and kinda suck, the actual draw is going to be 50-80% less scary than you think it’s going to be.
T/E Injections
1. In case you worry: no you do not have to do your first injections yourself, you can absolutely get people to help you do it the first few times.
2. I asked my nurse if anybody ever had a needle tip break off inside their body while doing an injection. He said no he has never seen nor heard of that ever happening. BUT worst case scenario and it did happen, it would probably hurt bad but it would be really easy to take it out in the ER.
3. There are a lot of finicky little steps to go through. The nurse will go over them with you in detail. I have yet to do an injection at home (my clinic keeps the vials until you’re ready to take them back) but I’ve done several by myself with supervision. The steps are a little like this:
a) Wash your hands, make sure your area is sanitized.
b) Sanitize the top of the bottle with rubbing alcohol. Give it about 30 seconds to sterilize. While it’s doing that, open up your syringe and the 2 needles but leave them within their packaging to keep them sterile. 
c) Screw the needle you use to draw with into place on your syringe (I use an 18 g to draw), be careful not to touch the part where they connect with your fingers to keep it more sterile. Remove the cap with one steady motion.
d) Draw a little bit of air into your needle. The bottle is airtight, so this is a necessary step. Inject the air into the bottle and turn it upside down. My current dose is 0.25 ml (gonna go up soon) so what I do is overdraw my dose and then push the rest back into the bottle until my dose is at where it’s supposed to be. Pull the needle out and draw back so all the medication is in the syringe and none is left in the needle.
e) Put the cap back on the needle, swap out the thicker needle for the thinner one (I use 25 g to inject). Set it aside with the cap still on and prep the area on your body for injection.
f) I personally go for intramuscular on my thigh. For anybody who’s doing that, you need to do what’s called ‘landmarking’, where you essentially divide your thigh into thirds and inject in the middle quadrant about halfway down on the outside of your leg. You don’t want to inject on the top because that’s where the bone is. You should be able to feel the muscle on the outside of your leg when you flex.
g) Sanitize the whole area, larger than you think you’re gonna need, then let it dry for 30 seconds. As you go week to week, you’ll switch back and forth between your left and your right thigh in order to avoid scarring.
h) Uncap your needle. You may notice that there’s what’s called a ‘bevel’ right at the tip of it, where the needle is cut at a slight angle and you can see the hole. You want the bevel to be facing up, since that will allow less pain as you’re injecting. Push the air out of your needle, you may see one little drop of medication beading at the end.
i) Your nurse will help you out your first few times, but when you go to inject yourself try to keep your hand smooth and steady and go quickly. I know it was super weird for me to stick it in, but honestly I find that it hurts way less doing it myself! Put the needle in, then hold the base with one hand to keep it from wiggling and use the other hand to inject. It’s going to be a little ouch as you push the liquid in, especially if it’s a little bit on the thick side. 
j) Pull out your needle, recap it and you’re all done! Be sure to dispose of your sharps responsibly.
See what I mean about finicky steps? It’s going to take a little while to get the process, but nurses and doctors are there to help!
4. If you inject any air into your body, you will be okay. It will work its way out. Even if you inject a whole syringe of air into your leg or something it’ll be fine. There’s no cause to panic. 
5. It definitely gets easier as you go! Like anything else it’s all about practice and just getting the hang of the motions.
6. My clinic provides free syringes/sharps bins/other supplies, but sometimes you can get prescriptions for supplies so your insurance can cover it!
7. Taking medication on the go? Stealth Bros Co has got you! They carry a range of products for storing/transporting your injection supplies no matter what gender you are, they’re well made and come in a variety of colours. Support queer business owners!
That’s my main advice spiel. I hope that some of that helps you out. I was completely petrified of needles when I was younger and I know that I had a ton of anxiety around it before I got started. Needles aren’t as bad as they seem, you get used to them as time goes on. Take good care of yourselves, loves, and if any of my trans fam has additional advice you may totally add to this post and spread some love!
Good luck, good vibes, and have a wonderful day!
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kylorenpunk · 6 years
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Do them all. Suffer as I did 😂
Bitch I told you this was our friendship. We force each other to answer all the questions. 
1. selfie
Well… I wasn’t dubbed Selfie Queen for nothing… 
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This one is interesting bc I have zero makeup on. The most recent ones are too blurry. A lot of my fav selfies are full faces of makeup tho. 
2. what would you name your future kids?
I feel like that’s a decision for both parents but I really like the names Felicity, Isabella and Dimitri. Yes, all of them are names from various franchises I enjoyed throughout the years. Be glad I’m out of my phase where I thought Vladimir was a good name. 
3. do you miss anyone?
I miss all my friends I don’t get to see frequently. Love all of y’all and hope y’all are doing well in life! 
4. what are you looking forward to?
Fucking graduating. Jesus Christ it’s taken me five damn years. 
5. is there anyone who can always make you smile?
From my club it’s Chris, Yara and Josephine. Also my entire friend group from back home. Honestly I love my friends so much. 
6. is it hard for you to get over someone?
I feel like every situation is different so that’s a tough question to answer. 
7. what was your life like last year?
I honestly don’t remember much from December of last year. It was a good time though. 
8. have you ever cried because you were so annoyed?
I’m an emotional bitch. I’ll cry over anything. I cried over fucking Mulan the other day. 
9. who did you last see in person?
My parents and brother. Earlier in the day my club. 
10. are you good at hiding your feelings?
I’m shit at it. My face gives away everything. The other day my professor was going into her inspiration porn narrative and I just gave her a cold dead look the entire time. 
11. are you listening to music right now?
No but I have the Hamilton soundtrack stuck in my head right now since that’s what I was last listening to. If you haven’t heard it I highly suggest it. Man I wanna see it so badly. 
12. what is something you want right now?
Sleep but I’m trying not to throw off my sleep schedule right now and am waiting a bit before going to bed. I only got three hours of sleep last night so that’s fun. 
13. how do you feel right now?
Kinda tired. Relieved that I got two service projects in a row done today. It’s been a long weekend. 
14. when was the last time someone of the opposite sex hugged you?
My friend Sebastian hugged me when I dropped him off. I guess that counts. 
15. personality description
I’m a makeup loving nerd who enjoys sitting in pajamas watching anime and superheros as much as she enjoys swatching EVERY lipstick in Sephora. According to my friends I can’t go 5 seconds without mentioning how old I feel and my love for Dungeons and Dragons. I’m also an asshole. (Wow this sounds like a 12 year old writing this)
16. have you ever wanted to tell someone something but you didn’t?
Yeah tons of times. It’s bitten me in the ass. Oh well live and learn I guess? 
17. opinion on insecurities.
Everyone has them? If they say they don’t then they are lying. Mine is mainly related to my appearance or how I speak. 
18. do you miss how thing were a year ago?
I miss how things were in the beginning of this year. It started off strong then kinda turned into a shit show. 
19. have you ever been to New York?
No but it’s my top thing on my bucket list. My friends and I are highly considering a trip. 
20. what is your favourite song at the moment?
Of all time: Get Low by Lil Jon 
Currently: “Told You So” by Little Mix (If you haven’t heard their new album I highly suggest it if you love girl groups that preach women empowerment) 
21. age and birthday?
22 - June 21st (She’s a Cancer)
22. description of crush.
I don’t have a hardcore crush right now. More like 5 second crushes that are over the second they do something I don’t like. 
Edit: Currently “celebrity?” crush is Nathan Sharp. I am seriously considering dropping $55 to see him at a convention this month. 
23. fear(s)
Heights, something terrible happening to my loved ones, wild snakes, and the usual common anxiety fears 
24. height
Five foot three inches. I’m short. Yes I know it’s not that short but tall people like to put me in the short category anyway. 
25. role model
My mom’s coworker who was my internship supervisor. She has a doctorate’s in what I want to do and is amazing at what she does. The amount of knowledge and experience that women has is incredible. She is also extremely funny and knows how to teach with a sense of humor which I appreciate. 
26. idol(s)
Celebrity idols? I don’t really idolize celebrities bc humans are humans and have flaws. 
27. things i hate
Immaturity, intolerance of differences, demeaning slurs, The Last Jedi, and the new Fantastic Beasts movie 
28. i’ll love you if…
Play with my hair, are kind to my friends and family, share common interests, show an interest in what I have to say, basically respect me and those close to me and we’re good 
29. favourite film(s)
Hairspray, High School Musical, The Greatest Showman, Stardust, The Harry Potter series, Avengers, Guardians of the Galaxy
30. favourite tv show(s)
Jane the Virgin, Naruto (fuck off I hate myself too ok), the first three seasons of Arrow before it turned to shit
31. 3 random facts
I’m not artistically talented but I genuinely enjoy makeup and creating looks
I have a nonverbal brother with autism and he’s my favorite person ever
I completely programmed my brother’s communication device by myself 
32. are your friends mainly girls or guys?
Now my friends are mainly girls but when I lived in Tampa 90% of my friends over there were guys (Hi Mason). I’m going to say that’s bc of us all playing video games in the Delta lounge (RIP Dirty D). But yeah now it’s mainly girls and 80% of my dude friends are gay. 
33. something you want to learn
Sign Language. Ice skating. Hairstyling. Fashion (I’m trying to be better about putting clothes together). Also I’m down to learn more about makeup and techniques 
34. most embarrassing moment
Either farting while doing an air guitar in front of my entire girl scout troop
or signing to my friend that I liked her friend at a party and his brother repeated what I had signed out loud in front of everyone
wait. No. When I F U C K E D  up in front a super hot guy while volunteering and then chose an 18 year old jock as my wingman. 18 year olds are dumbasses. Don’t use them as wingmen. Fuck you Khaled. 
35. favourite subject
In grade school I think it was English or History. It really all depended on the year. 
36. 3 dreams you want to fulfill?
VISIT NEW YORK 
Hike the Smokey Mountains 
Visit Europe 
37. favourite actor/actress
Chris Evans (especially when he is trying to fight orange president on twitter) 
Also Mark Hamill is perfect 
38. favourite comedian(s)
I don’t watch comedians often. I guess the Fluffy guy? 
39. favourite sport(s)
The only time I give a shit about sports is when my university is undefeated or playing my first university in football. Or the soccer world cup if it’s on. However I appreciate the skill it takes to do a sport. 
40. favourite memory
San Antonio. It was my first time traveling without family and it was the greatest time. It was such a cool city 
41. relationship status 
Single - I take my sweet ass time 
42. favourite book(s)
Eragon (No, I haven’t finished the entire series. No, I don’t want spoilers bc I will do it eventually.) 
43. favourite song ever
“Get Low” by Lil Jon 
“Look Through My Eyes” by Phil Collins 
44. age you get mistaken for
Last year I got mistaken twice in a row within an hour for a middle schooler. I was 21 at at that time. During my internship one of the parents asked me if I had any kids. I’m either mistaken as a parent or as a 13-15 year old. There is no in between.  
45. how you found out about your idol
N/A since I don’t have an idol
46. what my last text message says
“lmao it’s alright” to Joey but the previous one is more funny “thankfully no one threw up this time” in regards to my friend’s party last night
47. turn ons
Well I aint about to talk about my sex life so let’s go with personality 
Common interests such as superheros or anime, charismatic, easy to get along with, common goals in life, cares about their loved ones, has passion, and someone I can hold an intellectual conversation with 
48. turn offs
rudeness, immaturity, inattentiveness, bad tempers, superiority complex, not being genuine, judging others, treating people like objects, and general lack of care for others or themselves
49. where i want to be right now
Back in the smokey mountains in a cabin watching movies and anime
50. favourite picture of your idol
N/A 
51. starsign
She’s an emotional Cancer
52. something i’m talented at
Apparently I’m good with kids      Makeup too I guess? 
53. 5 things that make me happy
friends, family, nerdy shit, makeup and Kakashi
54. something thats worrying me at the moment
Some shit happened last night that has me worried for some friends but I’m sure they’ll figure it out 
55. tumblr friends
A shit ton of y’all I know IRL. I won’t tag y’all bc that’s annoying af 
Joey’s my only internet friend @earthschampion (answer my text bitch) 
56. favourite food(s)
pasta, empanadas, crab rangoons, taziki sauce 
57. favourite animal(s)
Meerkats and koala bears
58. description of my best friend
K @burnitstronger: realest damn friend you will ever have. Will tell you how it is and provide never ending love and support. Never understands my dumbass shenanigans but loves me anyway. Love you boo 
J : Will also tell you how it is and forces you to watch Naruto and ruin your damn life. Will happily go with you to eat junk food after class. Will fight anyone who wrongs you and is def still plotting revenge on all my ex’s. Stans Loona
M: Will scream at you in Leo in a frightening but loving way. Has the best damn fashion sense I have ever seen. Is the friend that comes by when I need her to and brings a shit ton of snacks and love (J does this as well).
59. why i joined tumblr
I was bored on fourth of July in 2012 and my friends kept telling me that this website would be fun. Also the avengers “fandom” from back then 
60. ask me anything you want
I would say I’m sorry Mason but I enjoy making all my friends suffer. Make sure to give him a follow bc he’s cool. @masonjar828
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roro-robot · 6 years
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I passed my driving test!!
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Probably the most accurate GIF I could find of how I reacted lol. (Sorry if it’s making you dizzy... it’s starting to make me a bit... lol)
After spending about 20 minutes (illegally) practicing the road courses (and getting hella stressed bc SW does NOT know how to criticize), I managed to pass the course test, get a permit, (legally) practice the courses a bit, then take the road test, which I almost failed off the bat thanks to a sticky emergency brake! 
I figured that I would write down some of the steps (aka the 3 tests), and what I used in case anyone else is interested in taking the test! 
(Hopefully under the read more lol)
So basically there are three parts of the test (ALL of which can be taken in English [and prob other more common languages too], woo!):
The written test
The course test
The road test
So first up, the written test. I used the Android app (only for Android, sorry) Pass! Korean Driver’s License to study the questions on the test. These questions are basically taken from all of the past tests, and they have a TON to study. The written test only has about 40 questions, but the English translations are a bit complex and tricky (at least for me). Unfortunately for me, I got a lot of pick two answers questions (which I’m terribly, horribly, no good, very bad at). If you study through the app longer than I did (which was around 30 minutes total lol), you’ll easily pass. You only need 60% to pass, which was a blessing for me. You get about 40 minutes to take the test, and to be honest most of the questions are easily answered through common sense (besides the penalty questions). 
Steps for the written test: Fill out the application form, watch a movie (with subs in English and other languages available --- I had Chinese subs since I was late) for about an hour (also it’s pretty entertaining if you like K-dramas), get a stamp to prove that you watched it, then sign up for the written test (which is computerized).
Next up, the course test. This one is actually a LOT harder because a) it’s all very technical, and b) a machine (aka the car and a BUNCH of sensors) is scoring you. To pass, you need 80%! The courses are all basically the same, and you can find videos on YouTube. My main issue with taking the test today was basically that I thought the emergency brake was down since it wouldn’t go down (it wasn’t, oops! Realized when I tried to move), and I forgot about the emergency stop so it took me a bit longer to stop than I should’ve. BUT surprisingly a LOT of people failed the test really quickly (I watched 3 people fail one after the other).
I used these two sources to basically help me (although the YouTube has the video from the DMV with a voice over explaining it better in English with hints): 
https://www.reddit.com/r/korea/comments/6armv0/updated_guide_to_the_drivers_license_exam_for_the/
youtube
For the road test, each course varies. For Gangseo-gu (where I took the test), they have 4 courses (A-D) and they had the course maps on the homepage... somewhere. SW found them for me ^^;; I’m assuming that all of the DMVs have the course maps on their pages, so please take a look around to see if you can find it (I’ll ask SW later how he found it so there are better directions). The course test takes about 20 minutes and you need 70% to pass. 
Testing procedure:  you have a proctor and another student in the car with you. The car is rigged with sensors and an app that automatically deducts points if you fail to do certain things. The app is basically a GPS without the map, and the language can be switched to English (which is a bit strange). You 
If you’ve driven in the states, it shouldn’t be too hard. Once again, the emergency/hand brake was the bane of my existence and almost caused me to fail before I even took the car out of park. Thankfully, the proctor let me have one more go before she failed me. The most important thing to remember is putting the car in neutral at red lights, how to do U-turns properly, and using the blinker well (you have to use the left one to exit out of the parking lane at the start of the test). I was basically super cautious, went a bit under the limit, and I have no idea what I actually scored. I’m just too grateful that I didn’t have to do it again, since tests TERRIFY me and make me feel stressed no matter how much I studied/am capable. I’ll update this better information on how to find the course information... but after you finish the course test, they give you a map of the road test courses. It all depends on the DMV surrounding area. It shouldn’t be more than 5KM to drive, though. Typically, there is at least 1 U-Turn (not including the one to turn around to park when you reach the test center). 
This is the course map  for the Gangseo-gu DMV:
http://dl.koroad.or.kr/PAGE_license/gangseoLic/view.jsp?code=102210&isSkin=Y&cmd=view&boardCode=100979&page=&bseq=131170&tt=7
Basically, just search (city) (... 구) 운전면허시험 도로주행코스도 and it’ll hopefully pop up. Notes: 
I took the test at Gangeo-gu in Seoul, which I HIGHLY recommend. The area isn’t insanely crowded, and I didn’t notice too many cars on the road... making the road test much less stressful. 
You do watch the DMV instructional movies for both the course and road tests before you’re allowed to take it (usually in the group), so don’t expect to start right away. The videos have subtitles, thankfully (at least the road test did... the course one is a bit of a haze).  A worker also goes over the various penalties and how many points are taken off (which was all in Korean so I ignored since I didn’t want to stress out further). 
Anyways, that’s basically all I can remember from the test. Hopefully this helps you out! Let me know if you end up passing the tests or have any other questions!
@sealbb 
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drferox · 7 years
Text
20 Questions with Dr Ferox #23
Whelp, time for another blast of 20 questions and comments from the inbox. If you were brave enough to use your username I’ve tried to tag you (Thanks Tumblr) but if you were on anon, you’ll have to look yourself.
Would you folks be interested in me answering these sort of short questions in a video instead? Let me know in the replies. Now here we go!
Anonymous said: do u play mobile games on your phone, like animal crossing pocket camp? :O
No, should I? I haven't heard much about it.
@trisaratops45 said: Dr. Ferox, First off I just started following your blog and love it! I'm stuck using mobile so I can't see your faq information. I was just wondering if the clinic you work at sees any exotic or pocket pets? Of so what is your favorite to see and treat? Thank you!
Welcome! We don't see a huge amount of exotics at my clinic, we're not well set up for them, but ferrets are probably my favorites.
Anonymous said: do you follow any medblr blogs? and if you do, are you ever like 'thank goodness i don't have to deal with that' or 'man i wish it was that easy'? question tax: what is your favorite depiction of dragons from fantasy media
I actually had to go check which blogs I was following. No active medblr blogs in the list anyway. I often see real clients, in the flesh, and think 'Im glad i don't have to deal with that', especially when they describe to me their own gross medical problems as though I want to know exactly what's coming out of their orifices. All dragons are good dragons. I don't think i could pick a favorite.
@the-noble-banana said: What style of nail clippers are best for trimming a cat's claws?
Whatever you're comfortable with. I like these ones
Anonymous said: Do dogs get acne? Is that a thing? Just curious! Question tax: if you could shoot something out of your finger, what would it be?
They can get comedones with certain hormonal conditions (black heads) and can get pimple-like lesions with skin infections. I would shoot icy cold water out of my fingers. Great for hot days, and for stupid faces.
Anonymous said: Do you typically bandage and cover amputations? At the vet I worked at (I was only kennel so everything I saw was in passing) every animal who had limb amputation left after a day or two with the incision fully bandaged. My dog had her hind leg amputated and the vet (different one) had her in and out in under three hours and sent her home unbandage. Just out of curiosity is it case by case that you decide to bandage? Gave my mom a little heart attack seeing her all bloody and swollen
We might but a light dressing over them, but in an amputation of anything more than a toe there's often not much to bandage. Limb amputations are typically very high up the limb in dogs and cats and it's hard to bandage something in that position. Also, sometimes dogs eat the dressing.
@crimsonrose95 said: I'm not vet med, but I am into chemistry and physical sciences and the ask talking about chemistry being inconsistent is so weird a thought to me. Biology is way less consistent than chemistry like chemistry is mostly math with elements and compounds while biology is mostly names. It's just really interesting how most people start to think a science they don't like and have trouble in is just the science being completely inconsistent to them. Me included.
I get what you mean. Chemistry has a fairly distinct set of rules, even if they're rules you've not encountered outide of chemistry before. I was never a fan of physics, but it is consistent. Biology likes to bend rules. Life finds a way.
Anonymous said: Why does my cat yell when I try to use the bathroom alone? Question tax: what's your favorite thing about Australia?
Possibly he thinks you need moral support? Or that there's demons in there. My favorite thing about Australia is our universal healthcare system and gun control.
@foxtrottarts said: How common is dewclaw removal in dogs, and what are the benefits/downsides?
Hind dewclaw removal is relatively common at the time of deseing, if they're the sort that flop all over the place and lack a boney attachment. Front dewclaws are usually left, unless removed for a medical reason. I've written about it before here. https://drferox.tumblr.com/search/dewclaw
Anonymous said: Can a dog still have the MDR1 gene if they have never reacted to those drugs in the past (lets says a dog that has regular flea prevention of selemectin)
If the dog has only had a popular flea product containing selamectin but has never had ivermectin, yes they could still have it. MDR1 dogs typically don't react to that product, nor do they react to the annual heartworm injection.
Anonymous said: Hello, I had a question as google only takes me but so far, and the results were iffy at best since it's difficult to locate a vet or someone in a position who would know the answer. How much of a danger is animal or human saliva to pet birds? Some people say kissing the bird, or having another pet such as a dog lick/groom them is an issue, but I'm just lost on if any is true, and would love to find the answer. Thanks a ton in advance since it's all pretty confusing.
It is a potential issue. Carnivore saliva contains many bacterial species that can be devastating to birds or other mammals even through relatively small abrasions. Carnivores should not be permitted to interact with prey species and birds. Cats are especially risky because they're so pointy and because they effectively coat themselves in saliva when grooming. You can find some more information here.
Anonymous said: Hi Dr. Ferox, we recently had to put our cat down due to health issues. We're pretty sure he had FIP as the last week of his life he had every symptom but one. A website we saw said the virus can live in the environment for weeks afterwards and I was wondering if you knew any sort of approximate time. We aren't ready for another cat yet but occasionally foster a kitten and don't want to bring one into the house and have it get sick
I typically reccomnd 4 months, and replacing bedding, litter trays and food dishes. While you are probably fine with 3 months, given the incurable and devestating nature of FIP (Feline Infection Peritonitis) I prefer to err on the side of caution.
@kumoi-no-hikari said: I got a couple rats a few months ago and the lady I bought them from mentioned that most vets don't know much about rats and will probably do more harm than good unless the situation is extreme. Is that true? They haven't had any issues, but I'm worried about traumatizing them or wasting money if they ever have a problem.
Some vets will certainly be better equiped or more interested in treating rats than others, but you'll only know if you call around and ask them. If they're not keen on seeing rats, they might know somebody who is. I think saying 'most vets don't know X' is unfair when you look at the diversity of vets in the world. Call around, plan for the worst ahead of time.
Anonymous said: Do you know how taxidermy works? I plan this route for my cat when she's passes, do I have to contact them before the body stiffens or position her first?
No idea. But I would contact them well in advance incase they have waiting lists or something. But I would think very carefully about whether taxidermy of a pet is something you definitely want.
Anonymous said: Hey there! What’s your favorite brand of stethoscope?
The Littman is what I use and have been very happy with my Classic II.
Anonymous said:Our poodle mix loved grabbing a mouthful of food then running to the living room to eat it - not necessarily to be near us, he just would eat over carpet. Sometimes we'd rearrange the living room so it wasn't a direct shot from the dining room and he'd still run around the furniture to eat there. He also once pooped one piece on each stair when we were gone all day for some unfathomable reason.
There is so much that could be going on there, but since you didn't seem to ask a question I'm not sure what you'd like me to say.
Anonymous said: On the topic if dog eating things they shouldn't. A shitzu swallowed the end of a large chew bone whole and when she puked It up it was about the size of my fist.
Little dogs often seem to overestimate what they can safely eat. Westies seem to be the worst for this though, and are a common breed to see for stuff getting stuck in their oesophagus.
Anonymous said: About people thinking vets are scammers, my family was so bad with this when I was a child. I remember I had a sick kitten, I was around 8, it had some lung issues and I begged and cried to vet it and my dad said "pray really really really hard to God every hour, and maybe he'll bring a miracle!" and the cat died the next day :( I get so LIVID when people refuse taking their pets to vets for stuff that cannot wait. Makes me wanna slap those people senseless!
Your Dad sounds like a lazy asshole and a cheapskate. Even if god existed, I'm pretty sure he wouldn't appreciate being dialed up for a miracle like a pizza delivery.
Anonymous said: i just wanted to tell you that i recently adopted an older orange tabby cat (dsh) and he is large. like not just fat (which we are working on), but unusually tall and long. like. maine coon size. he has so far used his size to swipe bacon off a kitchen counter and remain an effective roadblock. he's very calm and sweet, i love my big fat baby.
Congratulations on your new addition! I'm sure your big orange boy loves you back too.
@mise-en--place said: Thought you might appreciate this. We got records on a cat today and on a previous visit they stated; "BCS 5/9. Cat appears to be about 7lbs through the gloves and towel." We got a good laugh, cat was actually quite calm for her visit.
I received a history for my old cat Dippa who had once very badly bitten this other vet that only said "Appears healthy in cage. Vaccinated in cage. Dr Ferox is welcome to come and perform a dental on her own cat any time she likes." I took that to mean "I'm not touching this hellbeast. You deal with her."
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chaoshomeschooler · 4 years
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56. Monday, Nov. 9th: Some long term goals!
I just want to be debt free and find someone to love
57. Tuesday, Nov. 10th: Tag your favorite studyblr!
I don’t really follow other studyblrs lol. @ me
58. Wednesday, Nov. 11th: If you could study anywhere, where? (and why!)
I’m not sure exactly where. I know I want to study abroad but more for the experience than there being a specific place I want to see.
59. Thursday, Nov. 12th: Do you study language?
Not actively but I used to study French and Latin and I want to study other languages/linguistics
60. Friday, Nov. 13th: What is the view out your window?
This one really big tree basically takes up the whole window. I’ve grown fond of her
61. Monday, Nov. 16th: Favorite school supplies!
I have one specific pen and one specific pencil that I cannot live without. Other than that I really like erasable highlighters, steno note books and sticky tabs that are actual post it notes so you can write on the whole thing but they’re still the size of tabs
62. Tuesday, Nov. 17th: Bath bomb bubble baths or long showers?
long baths sans bombs bc I don’t have any. Also I’m not sure if I would like the smell. I walked into a Lush store once and I almost died.
63. Wednesday, Nov. 18th: Name 3 things you love about yourself.
idk like i don’t want to be vain or nothin but I mean I’m at a place where I’m able to dress/look and act mostly how I ideally want to and do what I want to do so I like that I’ve been able to get myself to this point where I’m not majorly  dissatisfied with main parts of myself for the most part
64. Thursday, Nov. 19th: Do you journal?
lol no i used to try kinda but i would either spend way too long and I’d be writing for hours or i would just not be able to stick to it. i got some guided journaling apps but i don’t stick to those either
65. Friday, Nov. 20th: Have you ever made a vision board?
No I don’t think so. I make aesthetic boards but they have nothing to do with my goals or anything
66. Monday, Nov. 23rd: Favorite type of weather?
Fall weather with lots of rain
67. Tuesday, Nov. 24th: Scarf or beanie?
Hoodie
68. Wednesday, Nov. 25th: What are you grateful for today?
My interview went really well today!
69. Thursday, Nov. 26th: What studyblr advice would you give to others?
Advice on running a studyblr? Idk maybe just focus on what you want to focus on - don’t feel like you have to follow trends or only present the take on studyblrs that most other people use
70. Friday, Nov. 27th: Holidays! What are you excited for this holiday season?
Well I would have said having a break but it’s four days til Christmas and I still haven’t gotten a true break
71. Monday, Nov. 30th: What is your “happy place”?
I’ve tried to make my bed my absolute ideal place. I’ve got tons of fluffy blankets and I’ve got posters/memorabilia from all my favorite places or of my favorite art or from my favorite artists. I’ve got stuffed animals and coloring books and some nice little lights. Lake Superior is my true happy place but this is my comfort zone, I suppose.
72. Tuesday, Dec. 1st: How are you feeling about education during a pandemic?
I’ve been working a lot harder on school this year than I have in quite a while. I think it’s been beneficial
73. Wednesday,  Dec. 2nd: When was the last time you did something “scary”?
All the college interviews and cold calling people asking for recommendations have been pretty scary
74. Thursday, Dec. 3rd: What habit do you want to break?
I want to stop being so bad at time management. Oh and I want to stop not being able to fall asleep until 2:30 AM.
75. Friday, Dec. 4th: what habit do you want to make?
I want to stick to a study schedule or at least study when I have the opportunity instead of letting myself get distracted.
76. Monday, Dec. 7th: What is/are your creative outlet(s)?
Piano, writing and my facepainting. and the aesthetic board things
77. Tuesday, Dec. 8th: Where do you see yourself in seven years?
No where. I don’t see my future I just keep being told I need to prepare for it. I wonder if I’m going to die soon bc honestly I can’t imagine much of my life and I have no dreams, goals, aspirations, hopes, or anything like that. Not really. There’s a couple things I’d like to do but I have to call them fantasies bc who knows if they’ll ever happen
78. Wednesday, Dec. 9th: What is one of your favorite holiday memories?
hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
holidays with my dad’s family always suck and more than half of the holidays in my life have been spent with them. Tho in recent years we’ve been making other memories during the holidays so overall they’re getting better.
Honestly the best one that comes to mind rn is when I was at my friend’s house on thanksgiving and we binge watched the Left Behind series. We were really young so we were kinda blown away by all the outlandish things that happened. I remember we were up until 4 AM and we were both jammed into her grandpa’s recliner chair. That started our tradition of binge watching movie series on the holidays that we spend together.
79. Thursday, Dec. 10th: Are you feeling ready for finals?
Finals went pretty well! I got an A in my one dual enrollment class and an A- in my other one.
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undinefin · 7 years
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Love Post (fuck you guys)
ok! SO! since some people decided to show me up and do extra long paragraphs and make me a friggin playlist, obviously I had to do something too!!!  this is going to be a long post, so there is heavy scrolling involved. I'm sorry.
also, i'd like to apologize to the people that i wasn't able to write stories for, be it I haven't known you enough, or im just a horrible friend (im sorry ood i will write u all the sanic fanfic) im really really sorry!!! 
tbh you dont even have to read the stories if you dont want to??
PLEASE READ THIS: this is the authors note where i essentially justify the mess (or messes if you decide to read all of them) that you are about to lay ya eyes on. i wrote most of these in a non-lucid state, fuelled only by anger and lack of sleep. they aren't the most amazing things. akire, you have another note before yours bc reasons. also im on the computer there will be no emojis sorry im lazy
the story order goes!: Boo CP Fath Nom Kiki Akire ^^ roughly based on story length. 
first however, i'm gonna get other mutuals their love posts!!!
@fooderaser​ : Ch!! The gc misses you so much aahhh i haven't talked to you in so long :(((( i'm sorry i didn't write you a story, and honestly the whole "haven't talked to you enough" is a poor excuse but really, if and when you're available i'll write you all the stories!!! you are so kind, and whenever we are blessed by your presence in the gc it's so nice! you bring this energy in that's so refreshing, and i've seen that post!! You're so beautiful!! I hope to be able to talk to you more! <3 
@sambashua​: Mir, I haven't known you for a long time, but you seem really nice!! I'm glad i have another friend to yell about Haikyuu!! with. SEEAASON FOUR BETTER COME OUT AND WHEN IT DOES WE SHALL Y E L L. im also glad to be a fellow cheermander, and will continue to work on the fy-charmander blog! hope we can talk more!!
@coralinfluencershark​: AUD MY DOD WHO HAS A GREAT BOD (i just thought of that today are you proud) i love you sosososoossoososos much words cant even describe it. again, i'm sorry i didnt write you the sanic x peach x dobby fanfic that i know you are dying to read. YOU ARE SO SWEET AND NICE AND CARE ABOUT ISSUES AND ITS GREAT and you are a lil strange (please, if you have to, BUY a verbal filter) but you are very loved. i love spending time with you, and you never fail to make me laugh. you'RE SO COOL ADN YOU CAN SKATE and are so much smarter than you think you are. im excited for bnha season 3, so on that note, i leave you with this (i sent it to u but idk if u watched it)
@juliaplatinumerr: JU CHAAAAN !!! i love you a lot a lot we have known each other for so long and thANK YOU for still keeping in contact with me it's honestly so magical. IM SORRY I DIDNT WRITE YOU ANYTHING I HAVE NO GOOD EXCUSE i can only offer my presence (aka we should hang out sometime??) and i might go back to japan so if u want anything hmu!! really you're so nice, and reliable, and i love that i can still talk to you and help you!! really really, I love you a lot!!
alrighty now we can move onto the stories!!! i'm so sorry this is a mess. love you all. btw the love paragraphs are arguably gonna be shorter...maybe.
Truthfully, I had no idea where I was going with any of these, and the writing is mediocre at best (because I know I can do better but…haahhhh) so yeah. If anything think of them as like….random little scenarios that I wrote up in which I am not-so-discreetly complimenting y’all in about 1000-2000 words. I don’t think there’s any romance??? Like if there is its like pure n shit but im still not the most comfortable with writing self insert also age! Anyways, apologies in advance. I wasn’t lucid during the making of any of these.
paragraphs look so fugly in tumblr oml.
@caramelmacch1ato​: BOOOOOOO!!! I actually love you sosos much i cant even start to describe it. You're so sweet and so smart wtf please teach me. i love reading your goodnight posts that i think you've sent nearly every night??? thats impressive damn. YOU ARE IMPRESSIVE I AM IMPRESSED BY YOU. i hope you enjoy the story i have no idea whats happening. love youuu <333
Remember
Boo had been to tons of concerts before, she’d been lucky enough to even get Meet n’ Greet tickets for Day6, where she met her bias Jae. He was funny, and strange, but also beautiful and amazing. There were still so many groups she wanted to see live, like Seventeen and Astro, but when Day6 was hosting their second live in America, she was definitely going.
Getting tickets was always a hassle, and even if Day6 didn’t have 4 billion followers (though they deserved it) you had to be clicking ‘check out’ the second the tickets were released to get Fansign tickers. Though, Boo always managed to pull through.
Fast forward about three weeks and Boo was once again lining up with a large poster board outside of the Day6 concert venue. It was a little chilly, as they were performing in February, but it was a birthday gift for Boo, so the cold didn’t bother her too much.
The anticipation killed her, “I Wait,” yeah, she sure as hell did. It took another fifteen minutes for the venue to dim, and the five members of Day6 ran onstage. Screams filled the theatre, and they didn’t stop for the next two hours. Boo’s Korean had improved since the last concert, and during the times where they would MC, she was able to pick up some words. 
Her poster was a light-up one, with nine pictures of the Day6 members, and a neon title spelling out “According to this mood board, how are you feeling today?” During one of their songs, she could have sworn Jae pointed at it and laughed. 
Jae had easily captured her heart, and he played a large part as to why Day6 was her bias group. He was funny, attractive, and had a beautiful voice. The fact that he spoke English was also helpful, in that she could sometimes understand him (“sometimes” because let’s face it, half of what he said was meme garbage).
The boys were doing a game section, in which they had to name their songs by the intro music as fast as they could. Whoever got the most right would draw from a lottery, and the lucky person would come up on stage to receive a prize. YoungK was winning, with Jae at a close second. Dowoon was surprisingly third, and Wonpil and Sungjin were tied for last place.
Familiar music filled the room, and the fans were shouting out the answers arguably faster than any of the boys. Jae hit his buzzer. “그렇더라고요!” he shouted eagerly. With this he was tied with Younghyun. “Or, When You Love Someone,” he followed up, remembering that the audience was English.
“I LOVE YOU JAE,” Boo screamed, her voice was hoarse from the fanchants, and general shouting, but she wasn’t fazed. Some other fans in the audience added on, and Jae bore a proud look. YoungK rolled his eyes but laughed, and Dowoon mumbled something about how he should’ve guessed that, since those were his drums.
Boo, able to pick up his worry due to her knowledge and proximity to the stage followed up with a, “YOU’RE PERFECT DOWOON.” Dowoon perked up, and others also shouted words of encouragement to him, as well as the other members.
The concert slipped away all too soon, and many were upset that their time with Day6 was over. The Hi-touch ticket holders went to give the members a quick high-five before leaving, practically worshipping their hands.
Boo got in line for the Jae Meet n’ Greet, which was very long. She was one of the last people to join, and the other lines were beginning to fill up as well. Boo watched the other people meet the members, some cried, others laughed, and a few even gave them gifts! The MyDays were very respectful though, and Boo was proud to be a part of them.
The minutes ticked by, and her poster felt heavier by the second. Boo checked her makeup to ensure she didn’t look like a total wreck. Jumping up and down, and singing along to songs was a lot more work than it seemed. Her makeup looked clean though, and there was one zit that she couldn’t cover up, but she could hide it with her hair.
“Hi there!” Jae smiled. Boo smiled back shyly, as always, he was even more beautiful in person! His smile was radiant, and despite how tired he was from performing, his face still looked energetic, like a puppy. “I’m number eight by the way,” he mentioned.
“Number eight?” Boo repeated, confused. 
Jae pointed to her poster, “Yeah on your mood board! Feeling totally pumped today, I also look especially fabulous in that photo! But number two, Sungjin eating…. that’s a close one.”
Boo laughed, “I think I’m also eight. Seeing you guys really gets me excited, I love your music a lot.”
Jae grinned, “That’s good, but I’m the main reason, right? My looks are so attractive that it compelled you to buy a ticket! 
“Of course,” Boo agreed jokingly.
“That laugh…you’re the ‘Okie Dokie Artichokie’ girl, aren’t you? I say it all the time to piss off Brian, he says I say it stupidly.”
Jae remembered her laugh, Jae remembered her.
“That’s because you do!” YoungK hissed. The girl that was meeting with him laughed as well.
Jae pulled his face into a strange expression, with his eyes looking upwards and a frown upon his lips. “OkIE doKiE, ArticHOkie,” he jested. His voice sounded like Goofy from Mickey Mouse, and Jae couldn’t stop himself from laughing at the end. He added finger guns that pointed at Boo.
“I’m proud,” Boo wiped an invisible tear from her eye.
“You should be, how have I never known this before?” Jae agreed seriously.
“Such ignorance for a wonderful phrase, I’m glad I was at least able to teach it to you, even though it was late.”
“As your follower in the religion of mood boards, and random phrases, I appreciate the important lesson.” The two of them continued back and forth, as their scenario grew more and more outrageous. It was when aliens were brought into the conversation that the two broke out into laughter.
 “That was fun, you’re fun,” Jae exclaimed. “You’re funny too, and nice! An ideal Myday, but most importantly, you stan me! Which makes you the most ideal Kpop fan of all!”
“Well…you are my ultimate bias,” Boo admitted.
“ULTIMATE!?” Jae guffawed. He turned to Younghyun, “Hear that? I’m her ultimate bias.” Jae bore a proud look on his face. He turned back to Boo, “Well, I’m just so handsome and talented that it’d be hard not to have me as an ultimate bias! Though everyone is starting to appreciate the other members’ individual looks, which is nice. Your looks could rival even mine!”
Boo blushed at that. As much as Jae joked(?) about how godly his face was, no one could actually deny it. He was very attractive after all, and being compared to that by the man himself, Boo was half certain she was dreaming.
“Thank you, I tried hard for you tonight,” Boo smiled.
“Ah see, that’s a killer smile right there. The makings of an idol! All you have to do now is learn some Korean and it’ll be smooth sailing from there. With all your charisma and caring-ness, the companies will be fighting over you!” Jae gleamed at her.
Jae noticed the time was ticking by, and the other girls in line were still waiting. “Alright Ms. Artichokie, is there a better name I can call you?”
“Boo.”
Jae grinned and held out his hand. “Alright Boo, I hope you come to lots of concerts, and if you DO sign under a label be sure to tell me,” he winked at her, “Till then, I’ll remember you, Boo.”
@howcaniwait: CP overlord, you are truly the glue that sticks this mess of a gc together. i love you so much its actually so overwhelming for ma lil heart. you are so sweet, and you have evolved so much!! to love kpop!!!!! you're so beautiful thoSE EYEBROWS MAN and you're so easy to talk to and get along with and wE LIKE P!ATD YAAY. really you're actually one of the smartest people i know and i know sometimes it gets overwhelming but you're so smart i know you are!! again, i hope the story does some justice??? its kinda lame but whATEVER
Five Minutes 
The chances that you’d meet someone famous were quite slim, and it seemed that if you were a fan of said celebrity, the chances would be even slimmer. Taken that CP didn’t live in a largely visited country for artists, to even perform in, her chances were slimmer.
But CP loved the artists that she did nonetheless. Maybe a year ago she was wary of them, and she even made fun of the people that liked them! But slowly, very slowly, she began to have a change of heart. Day6 was something different compared to the other ones she had heard of at the time. Their music was magic, and the people who made that music were beyond skilled. She fell in love with them fast, and the one who caught her eye was none other than Kang Younghyun.
He had remained her ultimate bias for a year of Kpop adventures, which involved spending a lot of time online staring at pretty boys singing, dancing, and talking. Despite all the amazing idols she had seen, nothing could top her love for YoungK of Day6.
“You hear that CP?” A hand waved in front of her face. Kiki and L were sitting in front of her, at a restaurant in Korea Town. “They don’t have any more Bibimbap,” Kiki recapped. After tons and tons of pestering from her friends, and saving up, as well as a generous Christmas gift, CP was able to meet her friends in the place where YoungK had studied, Toronto.
“Ah, then I’ll have the….” CP quickly looked at the menu, “Tteok-bokki.” It was the cheapest option.
The three had energetic conversations about Kpop stars, as all avid fans of the music. It ranged from trying to discern the song that was playing in the restaurant, to showing Kiki various images in hopes that her alter ego would come out.
“Stop!” Kiki whined, the last picture of Bambam was starting to push her off the edge.
L nodded, “Yeah, please stop we don’t need that in this nice restaurant.”
“I can’t help it! You guys are the ones showing me the images!” Kiki argued.
“In this Good Christian Restaurant?” CP ignored her friend. “Control yourself,” she gave Kiki a stern look, despite being the one showing her the images. Kiki mumbled something under her breath.
The food in the restaurant was good, and CP thought that the Tteok-bokki was actually pretty delicious. Half way through the meal L sighed loudly.
“The damn subways are closed, I have to take the bus home. I hate taking the bus,” she informed the others. Kiki laughed, she could walk home from their location. CP was getting picked up by her parents, so it wasn’t a big deal for her too. “I’m probably going to have to leave early.”
The plan was that they’d eat, then go to a Kpop store with a good stock of albums. After another fifteen minutes, L apologized before setting down some money for her portion of the meal and then leaving to catch the bus. 
“That sucks,” Kiki sighed. “We can still go though, that’s fine, right?” CP nodded. They finished paying and then left for the store. The remaining snow on the ground was mostly slush, and even though the sun was out, a chill still remained in the air. CP was glad she wore her boots.
The store clerks greeted them nicely, and Kiki showed her to the Day6 section of the store, before going to buy another album to add to her collection. With the remaining $25, CP decided to buy Daydream.
“Maybe I should buy a BTR album in Toronto too…” CP wondered aloud, purposely saying it so that Kiki could hear 
Kiki’s enraged expression was hardly fake, “Don’t you dare mention that name within my sanctuary of Kpop albums!”
CP laughed, “It was a joke, a joke.” Kiki grumbled, unconvinced. The two of them left the store, that they admittedly spent far too long in. Kiki managed to find a poster of an Astro member, and the searching alone took around ten minutes.
“You want me to wait with you?” Kiki asked.
“It’s fine, don’t worry,” she assured her friend. Kiki lingered for a bit, before the cold air started getting to her. She said her goodbye, and promised to meet again.
CP had around five minutes until her parents would pick her up, those five minutes would possibly be the most fantastical five minutes of her life thus far. It started with her taking out her new Day6 album, because damnit they didn’t put their music on any platforms. CP quickly cracked it open, curious to see her photo card. She wouldn’t risk opening it anymore, lest she drop it in the slush. A picture of Wonpil staring into the camera at the beach was inside. She took it out to admire the photo. Even if he wasn’t her bias, CP was a good Kpop stan who appreciated all the members.
CP looked up for the briefest moment. She noticed someone rather tall, asking various people for something. Though, through the bustle of the streets no one seemed to stop and reply to him. CP looked closer, there was something so painfully familiar about him, and maybe it was the shock, or the sunglasses, but CP couldn’t quite put her finger on it.
“Excuse me, miss?” the man had come up to her. He had a slight accent, but his words were still clear. 
“Oh! Yes?” CP responded, somewhat startled.
The man sighed, “Finally. Do you have any toonies, or tokens? The subway is closed down, and I need to take the bus. It’s been a while…I’m still not completely familiar with this section of Toronto. 
CP didn’t say anything, but rummaged through a bag she had brought. She was still racking her brain, trying to think of who it was. But…it couldn’t be him. There was no way, this would have to be some shitty story that was written to the ideals of mere humans.
She handed him a token that her mother had given her just in case. “Thank you, you’re very kind,” he smiled at her.
CP knew that smile, almost as much as she knew the music that it went with. “You…you’re YoungK, right?”
Younghyun hummed. Normally he’d deny it, not cause a fuss, because even if people didn’t know you, they’d still try to take pictures just so they could say ‘I met YoungK.’ But something felt different, maybe it was her kindness, or the Wonpil picture she held between her fingers, or just a feeling, but something was different.
“I am,” he smiled again. He saw her face light up. Contrasting to all the dreary slush, and grey air, her smile and eyes were shining brightly. Her eyes were soft, but still looking at him in awe, and her smile was beautiful, big, and loving. “Would you like a signature?” Younghyun offered.
CP opened her mouth, though nothing audible came out. Instead she nodded, and held out the new album. Her heart was beating faster than it ever had before. Thousands of thoughts, questions, and horrible conversation starters were floundering around her head, but none of them were spoken. 
“Thank you,” she finally said. “Thank you so much. You…your music, your voice, everything is so amazing! You know I wasn’t a huge fan of Kpop, but I listened to you guys, and it was like a whole new sky had opened up for me.” Her voice was filled with amazement, as if she was singing praises, she practically was. CP was thoroughly grateful.
YoungK handed back the album. “Thank you,” his voice was firm. “Thank you for supporting us. Day6 would be nothing without our fans. I would just be a guy with a nice voice. You’ve given us something amazing, more than any of us could comprehend.” His eyes focused on her. “I’m glad that our fans are kind ones like you, and I’m glad I was able to change your heart. Can I call you something?”
CP was still in shock that the Kang Younghyun was talking to her, was complimenting her! “Uh…I’m known as Charlie by my friends…” she mumbled.
“Okay, Charlie, maybe we’ll meet again. Thank you so much!” he began to back away.
CP quickly sprung to action. “Wait!” she called. “Could I…could I get a picture? Is that okay? 
YoungK laughed, “Sure. Really, you’re so considerate, even just asking for a picture.”
Five minutes. It had been five minutes, and her parents pulled up. CP was still going through the scenario in her head over and over again. She had met YoungK.
Just as Younghyun had met Charlie.
@lollipopp3725: FATTHHHH!!!!!! oh gods when you were added to the chat and i found out we couLD YELL ABOUT UTAITE AND HAIKYUU you saw me i was literally having a breakdown i was so happy. so thank you for putting up with all my rants about them! you're so sweet!! i loved the story you wrote, jesus that angst man. you're so nice, and so energetic aND YOUR PUNS ARE TOP QUALITY. good puns, you could call them...aJUN nice. i know you had like a few other people that you heavily biased but here's jun!
Hugs 
Fath was growing a little impatient.
Weeks ago, somehow, miraculously, she had been able to buy a Seventeen album from a store and her parents were not aware of exactly what she had purchased. Fath knew that Seventeen was in Singapore for a tour, but when she opened her album to find a ballot to the fansign, she almost had a heart attack.
Fath knew that having one ballot was nothing, and there was nearly no chance of her getting into the event, but she couldn’t risk buying the album again. Even so, Fath filled out the ballot, because “nearly no chance” was better than no chance at all. Despite that, she still had little faith in the ballot. People would buy ten albums, twenty, or even fifty just to get into the fansign. It was a groundless dream.
So, when Fath received the news that she was accepted into the fansign, she went into shock for a good few minutes before muffling her cries into a pillow. Fath’s heart wouldn’t calm down – she swore it was working harder than when she did physical activity – and she kicked at the air, trying to contain her excitement.
There was only one problem now. Her parents.
They weren’t fans of music to begin with, finding it distracting, especially what they classified as “teenager music.” Kpop was worse. They disregarded anything Kpop, and Fath had remained a closeted fan in the presence of her parents.
The most Fath could do was tell them she was going out with a friend, and hope they wouldn’t question her too much. If they asked why there was a strange bulk in her bag, maybe she could say it was a book and hope they weren’t suspicious. Fath thought herself an okay liar, so she could get by. The fansign shouldn’t take more than an hour after all.
Fath only got a few, “When will you be back” and “Tell us if anything changes” before getting the approval to go out. She texted a friend to tell them about the plan, just in case her parents asked about it later.
The location of the fansign was a little far out, but it would only be a half our train ride, then a short walk. There were only a few delays on the train, which in turn resulted in an extra ten minute ride, but Fath still had around fifteen minutes before the fansign started. The air was crisp, and the sky was especially clear. Fath quickened her pace.
The building was one of the smaller ones on the block, only going up to about three stories high. The e-mail said to go downstairs, and the staff members would help guide you to the fansign location.
Fath luckily only took one wrong turn, and was quickly redirected into the proper room. About a hundred other girls were there, all bustling with excitement. It was loud, and everyone seemed to be talking to everyone. Before Fath could join into any conversation of “who’s your bias,” or “which album do you like best,” a middle-aged man stood at the front to gather everyone’s attention.
“Alright everyone, please listen carefully,” the feedback from the microphone whined, sending out a sound a little too high for humans to comprehend, but low enough just to pierce their eardrums. The man apologized, and proceeded to explain how the fansign would work.
Essentially, after Seventeen answered questions from the post-it notes, everyone would line up under who they had slotted, and they’d have a short time to chat, only about a minute. The members would sign a poster, and you could give gifts. The fansign wasn’t too strict, despite the band being Seventeen.
And that brought Fath to the present, where she was getting impatient. She had the Jun fansign slot, and was currently waiting in line to meet him. She was fine with that; the waiting was fine. What was annoying her was that she had been waiting for nearly forty minutes, and Fath was finally at the front of the line, but the girl in front of her was taking a long time. They were only supposed to have a minute when the fansign part started, but Fath was certain this girl had been clinging to Jun for nearly two minutes now. She was the last person in line, and a lot of the other lines were almost done too.
There was a sudden cry. Fath turned to see a burst of water sailing through the air. A pipe had sprung loose in the building, and the girls near it, as well as Dino were getting sprayed with water.
Chaos ensued. The water was getting more intense, as other breaks in the pipes were slowly forming. Both the fans, staff members, and Seventeen hastily ran away from the scene. After a few moments of ensuring no one was hurt, the middle-aged man stood up again.
“The fansign is now closed. We’re sorry for the inconvenience, but this is both the allocated time of closing, and considering the problem, we have to close it down anyways. If you were unable to receive the posters, please pick them up at the front,” he announced.
Most of the girls didn’t mind, they had already met with one of the members. Fath however, did mind. She didn’t care about the posters (well she did but not as much as) she cared about meeting Jun. In the crowd, she couldn’t even see him. Like the other members, he was probably already being escorted away.
Fath felt like screaming, or crying. Either were fine. She thought that maybe, just maybe she’d be able to meet her bias. She’d be able to talk to them. But it was ruined because what? A broken pipe and some insensitive girl who took too long. It was unfair. Fath was the last girl in line to talk to Jun. It was frustrating if anything, but a small part of her said “What do you expect?” All that risk with her parents for nothing.
Most of the girls had already left the room, trying to avoid the growing puddle of water. Fath followed, trudging along, when someone tapped her shoulder.
Truthfully, Fath wasn’t in the mood to talk to someone. She wanted to grab her poster and go, but the voice that spoke certainly wasn’t a fan.
“You are…l…last?” 
The voice was too deep to be a girl’s, and the accent and broken English was all Fath needed to turn around to see who was talking to her.
It was Jun. He turned around to face Vernon, who mouthed him something else. “I am…sorry,” he said robotically. Fath felt like crying again, but for another reason. Jun was talking to her, Jun wanted to speak to her.
“Thank you,” she breathed.
Jun smiled at the recognizable words, “You’re welcome.” He stared a while, seeming to be thinking before opening his mouth again. “You like…something? Hand?” Jun held out his hand low enough to be a handshake, but high enough to go for a high five.
Fath noticed the other members walking out another exit. “Thank you so much! You probably have to go but…can I have a hug?”
“Hug?”
Fath felt awkward, he wasn’t too clear on what a hug was. “You…you know…arms around each other,” she lifted her arms as if pretending to go into the hug. Jun nodded and made a sound before raising his arm and hugging Fath.
It was a good hug. Jun was warm, which made Fath feel warm, and protected too. Jun lingred in the position, staying as they were for just a bit longer. Fath lightly rested her head against him, mumbling another thank you. The idol looked at her and smiled. His smile was cute, beautiful. Fath could’ve melted right then and there.
Jun pulled away, giving Fath one last smile before leaving. Maybe she didn’t officially have her fansign, but who cares because she just got to hug Jun.
@achuu-nice: nomiTH NOM NOOMMOFSNDK! i love you. you are the bestest mom i could think of anD YOU ARE SO SO SWEET!!! MUCH CARE!!! thank you for also suffering through the haikyuu angst fic, come to me and yell when you are done. no but seriously you are so nice and kind and even though i am the hype woman u give me lots of hype. so nice. I HOPE YOU ENJOY JEONGHAN. i loveeee you!!!
I’m sorry, this got out of hand
~A magical world in which nom and hannie can understand each other~
Angel
Nom was always the mother of the group. She was responsible, and always cared for her friends, regardless of whether they were actually younger than her or not. It fit, Nom the mom, Mom, and she truly loved all those dubbed as her children. But other than her name, what was it exactly that attracted people to her mom-ness? As well, would Nom ever know how it feels to be mommed? Truly, such questions were ones that could hardly ever be answered.
It was one fateful day, Nom was innocently listening to Teen, Age as she walked to buy more bird feed. Flower was booming in her earbuds, and when Jeonghan’s voice came on at exactly 2:42, she completely forgot her surroundings.
The bike came out of nowhere. She could hardly hear the bike bell over the sound of the music. She looked up to see the bike speeding towards her, and the person riding it screaming something. 
It happened in an instant. Nom’s vision went fuzzy, and an incessant ringing was going off in her ears. There was a bright light, and then a warm voice.
Nom…
The voice was soft, and Nom could have sworn there was a slight echo to it. The voice was not clear, was she unconscious?
Nom…wake up…
It sounded very familiar…but something was different. If it was really that voice, then there would be an accent, and that was even assuming he could speak English. But this voice…it spoke in perfect English with practically no accent. The white light was still there, and Nom was fairly certain she was still awake.
Open your eyes…child…
Child? Did the voice call her child? When was she ever the child? Nom tried to “open her eyes,” but nothing changed. Her eyes were definitely open, and for whatever reason nothing actually hurt, despite being hit by the bike. Speaking of which, was not there. Where was the bike? Nom looked down, where was the road? She was in some strange white plane, with mist floating around everywhere. 
Nom opened her mouth, seeing if she could at least talk, “My…my eyes are open. Maybe you could turn down the brightness?” Her suggestion was earnest. A soft Oh could be heard and slowly the bright light disappeared, leaving what Nom could only describe as an angel.
He had beautiful feathers, they were sleek but still fluffy that were folded to covered his body. Some of them protruded from the main structure of the wings, and others had fallen to his feet. The wings encircled his body, and a halo of light rested lightly above his long, light brown hair.
With a flurry of feathers, the angel unfurled his wings to reveal his full body. The hair was pulled into a loose braid that ended just past his shoulders. His skin was smooth, so perfect that Nom was nearly convinced what she was seeing was an actual angel. He was clad in a loose white button-up shirt, with the last two buttons not done up, and fitted black jeans. He wore white running shoes of a brand that Nom didn’t recognize, and a silver bracelet.
“Jeonghan?” Nom said hesitantly.
‘Jeonghan’ smiled at her, “So you know my name, I’m glad.” His smile seemed to literally glow.
Gathering her thoughts and courage, Nom began to ask her questions, “Are you really him? There’s no way, right? Hannie speaks Korean, he lives in Korea, in fact, if you are him you should be in Korea now.” 
“Well…I suppose I am him? But not at the same time, it can be complicated. Simply put, think of me as like an astral projection of your Jeonghan, though you aren’t physically meeting, this plane and circumstance has allowed our minds to connect. Should you ever meet for real, both of you would remember this meeting and each other,” the angel Jeonghan replied.
Nom cocked her head to the side, “Circumstance? Oh…Oh yeah! Wasn’t I like, hit by a bike? Am I unconscious? Aren’t you just a figment of my imagination?” Though, if he was, Nom gave her imagination a large pat on the back, because Angel Jeonghan was masterfully thought up.
A bittersweet expression crossed Jeonghan’s face, “I’m sure you’re wondering about the wings.”
“I am.” 
“Well…like I said, this plane that is invisible to normal humans is what is allowing us to meet. The wings and halo are uh…part of the job I suppose,” Jeonghan started. “Do you believe in guardian angels, Nom?”
Nom thought, “I suppose they’d be nice, but I don’t really pray to my guardian angel or anything like that." 
“Well, I’m your guardian angel!” Jeonghan exclaimed. He seemed very excited, and his wings flapped, emulating his emotions. A few feathers around his feet flew up from the sudden wind.
Nom could only stare, gaping. A small laugh escaped her, though she quickly apologized.
“I suppose that’s hard to believe, after all, there are many other instances in which I could have saved you,” Jeonghan reached out to ruffle her hair. “The truth is, certain qualifications have to be met, if everyone was being saved by their guardian angel, the world would be thrown off balance, would it not?”
“Sorry, I’m still trying to wrap my head around that fact that Jeonghan is my guardian angel. I mean…I suppose him being an angel isn’t that far off but…my angel?” Nom felt truly blessed, and if this was her imagination, it was both the best and cruelest scenario it could think up.
“I really am! And you…you far exceed the qualifications needed. I’m actually the guardian angel for many people, I represent…well aside from all the major religious stuff, generally caring about others, and being a good person,” Jeonghan finished. Nom could believe that. Jeonghan was certainly caring, and he loved his members a lot. He enjoyed helping them and listening to their problems.
“So I had to be…a good mom?” Nom asked.
Jeonghan laughed, maybe it was the whole angelic thing, but it truly sounded like a bell. “You could call it that. Nom you are more than kind. You care so much for your friends, and take the time to talk to them.”
“Wait you can see the stuff I do!?” Nom’s voice was anxious.
Jeonghan grinned, “Only the stuff relevant to the whole angel thing.” Nom let out a sigh of relief. “You’re sweet, and are so nice to your friends, and try to stay mature when needed. And speaking from Jeonghan the Kpop Star, you’re a wonderful fan! You appreciate the members, and respect other fans. Truly, it’s your acts of kindness and being so sweet that allowed me to help you!”
“Oh! So you brought me to this plane because…I wouldn’t be hurt by the bike?” 
“Exactly!” Jeonghan reached out to pat her on the head. “Would you like a hug? I’m very good at hugging people.”
Nom nodded, and leaned into the angel. It was warm, and a loose feather tickled her nose. Jeonghan hummed happily. “I think our time is up. I’ll do my best to watch over you, as your angel.”
@maetaamong: oghetjdfkv kiki i actually love you so much there aren't any words. gahh you picked me up at swim and was the one that allowed me to meet everyone here, and for that i am so grateful. you're so fun to be around and you cARE so much and i love you for that. thank you for putting up with my idiocy, and thank you for teaching me all~~ about kpop. i'll work hard!! i believe in your situations and i really love you sososo much !!! FIGHTING!!!
Urs are the only universe in which you personally know the idol bc u are a spoiled brat love u also somehow u can understand each other??? You probably learned Korean or smt. U like…can choose if ya in a relationship or just friends idc man there’s no kissy kissy so . also u are older
Loud
“Kiki! Look! Look at this one!” The tall boy happily bounced towards the blonde, with a book in hand. The cover was two shades of blue, and obnoxious text that looked like it was an early 2007 meme. The title was Does God Ever Speak Through Cats? and Minhyuk seemed very excited about this question.
“I know it sounds stupid, but! He brings up some really good points? Don’t you think Bay acts strangely sometimes? It has to be the work of God!” he declared, which earned a few nasty stares from other patrons.
Kiki sighed and apologized to the startled customers, “Min, you do realize we are at a public library, and you’re being very loud?”
Minhyuk’s face fell, and he pouted innocently, “Sorry…should we go somewhere else?” His voice sounded remorseful, and even though he was taller than Kiki, she resisted the urge to pat him on the head. She could practically see the dog ears flapping over in guilt.
“It’s fine, you just have to be quiet. I just want to find a good book,” Kiki said softly.
“Okay, sorry, I know how much you like to read. Whatever you buy, I’ll pay,” he offered.
Kiki turned to him, with an incredulous look on her face, “Min, this is the public library. I have a library card, there’s no need for you to pay.”
Minhyuk, slightly annoyed by this fact, just mumbled in response and went back to browse the shelves for another strange book. He wasn’t a huge fan of reading, finding that he definitely didn’t have enough patience for it, and that reading words off a page simply weren’t exciting enough for him 
Though, the boy’s moodiness disappeared almost completely when he wordlessly handed Kiki another book. Teach Your Wife to be a Widow was a rather old looking book.
Kiki couldn’t hold back her laughter, “Is…is this supposed to be romantic or threatening? Calling me your wife…that’s sweet but this certainly isn’t how I thought it would go.”
Minhyuk giggled in response, “It’s both!” Another “shhh” was directed at him, to which he hastily apologized and trailed after Kiki, who disappeared into the ‘Fantasy’ section. She skimmed through the books, thumbing the spines of the ones that interested her from purely the title and art.
She had read a few of them, some didn’t catch her interest, while others had storylines far too similar to books already done. A book caught her eye. It had a bright blue cover, with the words Shatter Me written in blue and white font. Kiki pulled it out of the shelf. The cover had an eye on it. That was a good sign. Books with eyes on them usually had some cool theme going on. A quick skim of the summery told her that it was indeed a dystopian novel – her favourite genre – and that people had powers.
“What’s that? You gonna get it?” Minhyuk appeared out of nowhere. Kiki decided not to mention that even without him literally shouting out a stupid statement, his voice was still loud.
“Might,” she replied. Minhyuk sighed loudly, and finally one of the workers came up to him and asked him politely to “shut up or get out.” Minhyuk placed a hand over his mouth and actually kept this there as Kiki signed out the book. The pair could’ve sworn that people breathed a sigh of relief as they left the library.
As soon as they stepped out Minhyuk’s loud voice returned, “When we get to your room, I can be as loud as I want, right?”
“Of course,” Kiki laughed. Her apartment was a few blocks away from the library, both of which were on a beautiful promenade. They arrived at her apartment, which was a simple red brick building with white highlights around the windows, and a black roof. They climbed up three flights of stairs and walked to her room. 
Kiki set down her keys and took off her shoes. “Want anything to drink?”
Minhyuk didn’t skip a beat, “Green tea please. I’ll put on the water.” He filled up the kettle with water and waited for it to heat up. Kiki decided to drink some too, and took out a tea pot. 
“Are we really gonna read? On my precious day off?” Minhyuk whined. Kiki wanted to say that it was him just poking fun at her, but she knew very well that he wasn’t too excited.
“Only a bit, then we can do something more interesting. Maybe you’ll like the story.”
“Unlikely.”
“Aww c’mon it won’t be that bad. Just the first few pages. Really, thank you for spending your ‘precious day off’ with me– geez that expression, you’re so cute. I promise reading isn’t the only thing we’ll do.”
Minhyuk couldn’t hold back a smile, “Thanks for letting me spend it with you. You’re nice, and fun, and caring. But I wish you would stop calling me cute. I’m not cute!”
Kiki stared at his flustered face, “I beg to differ.” The kettle began to whistle and they each poured themselves a cup of tea.
They spent the first twenty pages just sitting next to each other on Kiki’s bed. “You’re going too fast,” Minhyuk would say. Kiki would wait after finishing a page for Minhyuk to nod. After a while Minhyuk started to complain about how the position hurt his neck, and his posture was bad.
“Well, how should we sit?” Kiki asked. Minhyuk had a devilish grin on his face, and grabbed Kiki by her waist. She shrieked from the sudden contact, and Minhyuk pulled her into him. He bended his legs and Kiki was now sitting in front of him, between his legs. Minhyuk’s back was warm, and his arms were unconsciously-consciously wrapped around the girl.
“Won’t this hurt your neck more?”
“I’m taller than you so it’s fine.” Kiki decided to let him do what he wanted.
Another few minutes passed before Minhyuk spoke up again, “This girl is stupid.”
“Annoying,” Kiki agreed. “And this guy they’ve brought in…he’s just supposed to be the guard. I mean it’s kind of cute?”
“He’s too moody, too stiff,” Minhyuk said into Kiki’s ear. “He should be more like me." 
“Well they are in a prison,” Kiki pointed out. Minhyuk only clicked his tongue in response. Bored, he reached over to turn on her fairy lights.
Another thirty pages passed, and the love triangle of the story finally started to show up. Though the second contestant seemed a lot less desirable. “You know…” Minhyuk said for the first time in a while. “Even though we’re reading, it’s kind of fun I guess.”
“See, I knew you’d like it!" 
“No, it’s not the book. The book kinda sucks.” Kiki’s face slightly fell, but she had to agree. “Your presence is nice. It’s calming. We could be doing anything and I think I’d still like it,” Minhyuk mumbled. Kiki noticed his cheeks flushing and his head was turned away. 
Minhyuk finally met Kiki’s eye, “Cuz it’s you.”
Cuddle
Kiki was lonely. Cuddle-horny as she called it. Desperate for some attention, she relayed this feeling to her group chat, though they responded predictably.
GO AWAY KIEr
YOU'VE HAD MORE BOYFRIENDS THAN I WILL IN MY ENTIRE LIFE
awww kiki if I could id comfort youuuuu
S I N G L E C L U B
Sighing, her hand hovered over another contact, but Kiki quickly dismissed the idea. Hoon would be busy with his work. She couldn’t trouble him just because she wanted a good hug. Letting out a long sigh, Kiki threw herself against her bed.
Ten minutes went by, to the girl, ten long minutes of no human comfort. Damn French Guy. Her phone buzzed, a part of her thought it was the group chat, lamenting over their forever-single state but the name ‘Hoon’ was on the notification.
Want to come over? Got the afternoon off bc yoon got sick and now we can’t focus on learning the new song.
Kiki didn’t waste a second replying, throwing on a jacket, and booting it to Hoon’s house. She arrived soon enough and was greeted by an enthusiastic Haute. Kiki gladly gave him all the belly rubs, and Hoon soon appeared. He wore a loose white shirt with a random logo on it, and black sweatpants.
“Glad you could make it,” he walked closer to pick up Haute.
“Me too,” Kiki mumbled under her breath. “Got…any plans?”
Hoon scratched the back of his neck, “Ah not really. I was just thinking we could hang out, catch up. I’ve been busy, we haven’t seen each other in a while.”
Kiki grinned, “That’s perfectly fine.” She could use the conversation, the human contact. “Can we just sit on the couch or something?”
Hoon grabbed some drinks and Kiki sat on the couch, putting the TV to a random channel that they wouldn’t watch anyways. Hoon sat next to her.
“Is Yoon okay? What happened?” Kiki asked.
Hoon took a sip of his drink before answering. “He got laryngitis. We tried to go over the music, but he really wasn’t feeling well so he went home for the rest of the day. We got let off too because none of us could focus.”
“Is he resting here?”
“Nope, I meant home, home. He’s with his parents. They got pretty worried and asked if he could come home for a bit. I think they also didn’t want me to catch it too,” Hoon replied.
Kiki nodded, “That makes sense. It would be super unfortunate if you both got it.”
The two found themselves inching closer until Kiki was leaning into Hoon’s broad chest, and Hoon had nearly all of his limbs wrapped around her. Kiki found that they were breathing in sync and even though no words were said, it was still so engaging.
They conversed through contact, and a few hums here and there. Hoon was warm, and his hold on Kiki was tight. Kiki buried her face into the crook of his neck, feeling as if she could fall asleep. Haute came to join them, wedging into a space between their stomachs.
Cuddling with Hoon really felt nice, his limbs, while lanky, were perfect for wrapping around Kiki. He was considerate if something felt uncomfortable, and every so often they’d whisper about something, and he’d laugh. His laugh lit up his entire face, and his smile was permanently stuck. It was a quiet laugh, but somehow his entire body would jerk with every little sound.
Hoon felt the same way, because Kiki became really happy when they cuddled. She’d snuggle close and trace little patterns on the nearest available surface. In all of her beauty she seemed so at peace, and so graceful just in his arms like this. 
“Thank you.”  
@red-dyed-sarumane: A K IR E SENPAI! im sorry if this is sudden, but! i couldn't leave you out, and i definitely didn't live vicariously through your story and that ISNT the reason why it's the longest nope haahhaahhhaha. really, thank you for putting up with me and my rants or whatever, and letting me talk to you a ton! i'm glad i was also able to meet so many new utaites. ageyuki hell here i comeeee. you're so kind and explain lots of things in detail which i appreciate. i hope we're able to talk even more in the new year! thank you so much. 
If u don't understand some of the jap (tho u are vv smort so I bet u will) or if I made mistakes (bc I definitely did fuCK particles man) pls tell me. Also I used ur mom sorrrryyyyy. AGAIN I HAD NO IDEA WHERE I WAS GOING WITH THIS JUST RELISH IN THE FACT THAT U SAW MAFFU
Concert 
It was agreed upon the international Utaite fans that they suffered. Just barely grasping onto the blessed, but few, translators of their twitters, videos, and songs. Paying more for shipping than the actual product, and looking desperately into screens, unable to see their true face. Concerts were a dream, because going to Japan at the right time, and even buying a ticket would be difficult. Few people had the money, time, or permission to do it. Livestreams were almost never when they were awake, and even if they were, it’s not like there were subs to explain anything.
The salvation were the compilations the singers did of their concerts, with blurred out faces and some clips of them singing on stage as the audience held out their light sticks. Many tried to learn at least a little bit of Japanese, but they talked quite fast, and a few (*coughs* mafu) didn’t annunciate properly.
They were fighters really, being a fan for a long time, willing to burn holes through their pocket just to get an album, and loving the Utaites, even if they didn’t understand most of what was going on.
“You don’t know what they’re saying!”
“You’ve never seen their face!”
The fans heard those kinds of phrases far too often. It irked them, because music was so much more than the words, and pretty faces didn’t mean you couldn’t appreciate their abilities.
Akire was one such fan. She was smart, and worked hard to understand even a little bit of what the Utaite’s were saying. And, if there was anything worse than being a fan of an Utaite, it was being a fan of multiple Utaite. It was album after album being released, and live and live happening, and all the international fans could do was watch and wish.
It was one fateful day, when her mother, and told Akire the news.
“Well, it’s been a while since we’ve traveled, and I’ve been wanting to see the cherry blossoms in bloom for a while now!” she said through the phone. “So, we’re going to Japan! You like those Jpop guys, right?” Akire resisted the urge to correct her. “If there’s any concerts that are cheap, why not try to get tickets?”
Akire thought her heart would stop right there. They were going to Japan. She’d be surrounded by the culture of which so many things she treasured came from. Her mom would let her go to a concert. SHE COULD GO TO A CONCERT. Akire hastily opened Twitter and checked for any news of a concert over the spring break.
Yukimi and @gain were still relatively new and low key, so there was no word of a concert from them. Sou was working on an album, though no lives were being planned during the time. XYZ was having concerts, but they were just after Akire would be in Japan.
Akire would feel so unfulfilled if she didn’t go to a single Utaite concert when she had the opportunity. She scrolled mindlessly through Twitter, hoping that maybe someone would be hosting something she could attend.
A notification popped up. Akire clicked on it, half expecting the stupid ‘in case you missed it’ thing that Twitter did. It was from Mafumafu, and Akire didn’t even have to open the tweet fully to see the mass of exclamation marks.
It only took a quick skim to realize that Mafumafu was hosting a live. Akire quickly opened up the picture to check the dates. The 2nd of March, and the 7th, 12th, and 15th.
Fumbling to open her phone, Akire quickly texted her mother, When do we get to Japan?
Six painful minutes went by before her phone buzzed. She checked it the instant the screen lit up. Night of the 12th.
Akire checked the information again, she could make the last show! Crap, when did the tickets go on sale. She combed through the characters of Mafu’s tweet, trying to pick out the relevant ones, though there were still some she didn’t know. A quick Google Translate confirmed that tickets indeed went on sale at 8 o’clock a.m. Japan time. Which was, with the help of Google once again, in twelve minutes.  
Practically throwing her laptop across her room, Akire went to fetch her wallet which was left in a coat pocket. She sent a text explaining the tickets to her mom, and hopped she could read through the typos.
Dashing back upstairs, Akire clicked on the link provided. It took her to a website in complete Japanese. Akire just barely navigated through it, and occasionally had to look up various details, because business kanji was definitely not her forte. She was old enough to go alone (and she hopped her parents agreed with her because she was going to this live) and the tickets were at a mere 4500¥, which was around $40 US.
Praying to the Wifi Gods, Akire paid as fast as she could, she didn't even have time to check where the seats were, other information could be researched later. All that mattered was getting the tickets before they sold out or something.
And then Akire breathed, because she was going to see Mafumafu live.
~~~
In the previous month Akire had practiced Japanese much more intensely. Though the show would likely consist of mostly music, he would still MC a lot, and she wanted to understand as much as possible.
The venue wasn’t the biggest (it seemed they saved big venues for AtR concerts) but it still held around 2,000 seats and from what Akire could see, it was full. Her seat was relatively close to the stage, maybe six or so rows back.
Akire was excited; seeing Mafumafu live, she would see his face! The entire experience seemed surreal, and her appearance stood out a lot compared to the other fans. But her appearance didn’t matter when the lights went down and vibrant music started to play. Akire knew this song like the back of her hand, of course he’d sing すーぱーぬこになりたいfirst.
Some of the people had actually memorized his little spiel at the beginning, and said it to speed, which Akire found very impressive. Some artists sounded strange live, because their voice in a microphone was different compared to a studio, with mixing done. Though Mafumafu certainly couldn’t replicate any of the heavily engineered parts of his songs, somehow his voice sounded better live. It was clear, and there was raw emotion within his voice. The high notes were so much more intense, and just seeing the music come out of his mouth was amazing. 
He wore white cat ears, but simple black jeans and a loose sweater. After the song ended, Mafu quickly introduced himself, “はあいまふまふですー!じゃみんなさん!楽しみにして?” The crowd cheered in response. “みんなさんも歌ってよ!僕が嬉しいになって!”
ドラマツルギー began to play, and Mafu said something a little too fast for Akire to pick up. She got the feeling it was something about “wanting to sing this song, but never recorded it.”
The night felt like a blur, the light sticks that bounced in front of her, with the stage lights going crazy especially during 罰ゲーム and ゴーストルール. The show was only two hours, but it felt like a long, blissful eternity. The music that always remained through the screen, orin her ears was finally live. It was finally there.
Akire could see his face, his full face. Even with all the live-action videos, or the strange DVD’s he released, seeing him like this felt it was the definite proof that Mafumafu wasn’t just some singer on the internet. He was real, and he was talented. His voice shook the theatre, even when covering the softer songs on an acoustic guitar, like いかないで or 水彩銀河のクロニクル somehow his voice just enveloped the theatre.
It felt like a dream. Mafu bounced around the stage, and answered a few questions from Twitter. Akire could make out most of the details.
“What inspired you to start singing?”
“At the time, there were just so many talented people online. They were singing and people really liked them. Soraru-san and many others were uploading at the time, and I enjoyed music. I guess I wanted to be a part of that.”
“What time do you wake up in the morning?”
“Well it depends, sometimes it's a good time like 8:00, but sometimes it’s super early like 6:00 – I THINK 6:00 IS EARLY, YOU GUYS ARE WEIRD – or sometimes it’s late like 12:00.”
“Where do you live?”
“Within my dreams.”
“What do you think about love?” 
“This question is kind of deep…don’t you think? I mean, there’s familial love, and I love my family a lot. To think they’d support me having this kind of job, it’s really amazing. And I love my friends, Amatsuki-kun, and Soraru-san, and Luz-kun, Urata-san, and Sakatan too. They’re precious. Of course, I love you guys as well! There would be no Mafumafu without you guys. Thank you so much for being here, for liking my voice and music enough to see me live! Please continue to support me!”
A staff member off to the side laughed, and encouraged the audience to ask about romantic love. Akire joined in the chant of “恋!教えて!恋!” in which Mafu only replied with a finger over his lips and cuing the next song.
Mafumafu ran through a few more songs before announcing the next one would be the final one. The music to ねこがまるくなったcame on, and it was undoubtedly the most energetic performance of the night. Mafumafu starting and ending with a cat song, how classic. Akire sang along, knowing every word, maybe not hitting every note perfectly but still doing her best.
The confetti at the end showered the audience, and Akire found that she was smack in the center of its trajectory. Accepting that she’d be pulling pieces of paper out of her hair later on, she cheered as Mafumafu thanked everyone for coming, and exited the stage. Akire thought she was dreaming, that this was something her mind had made up because she so desperately wanted to see this singer in real life. Though, the free pin that she was given on the way out, signed by Mafumafu himself, seemed to solidify the experience.
She had seen Mafumafu live.
alllright~~ this motherload of a post is FINALLY done i should've worked on school projects during this time but fuck that who carES (i care) 
honestly, thank you guys so much! i cant believe that I was able to meet all of you, it's really been a ride. i hope you found the story/stories amusing!! i'm sorry for any typos, incorrect facts or anything seemingly out of character(?? u guys arent characters) but hopefully no hard feeling are taken. 
I hope next year will be even better!
with love,
P.S. honestly fuck you guys i cant believe i actually wrote all of this
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toadcircus · 7 years
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i was tagged by @beastiebros 
rules: answer these 85 statements about yourself, then tag 20 people.
1. last drink: apple and blackcurrant squah boiii
2. last phone call: I called my friend for the whole like, half hour journey to uni bc he was on his way home for a week, which I didn’t realise and im sad bc I didn’t see him all of last week bc the security in the building he lives in don’t like me and always come up to spy on us and I am not about that at all
3. last text message: “same about to get in the lift” to my friend who I was meeting to get the bus to uni with, last monday
4. last song you listened to? “no light no light” by Florence and the machine
5. last time you cried? Yesterday bc I get overwhelmed by simple tasks
6. dated someone twice? Lmao I’ve barely dated anyone let alone one person twice
7. kissed someone and regretted it? Hoo yeah awkward shit
8. been cheated on? nah
9. lost someone special? Yeah I guess?
10. been depressed? Not been diagnosed with anything but I do get uhh depressive states I Guess
11. gotten drunk and thrown up? Yeah lmao
12. fave colors: I like primary colours and also dark blue
in the last year have you…
15. made new friends? Yeah tons bc uni
16. fallen out of love? Mmm unfortunately not
17. laughed until you cried? Yeah a couple times
18. found out someone was talking about you? Yh I heard my flatmate mention me once and misgender me so now im like knife eyes
19. met someone who changed you? Lots of people
20. found out who your friends are? Yeahh? Idk what this means
21. kissed someone on your facebook friends list? Uhh yes I think like 4 people
general
22. how many of your facebook friends do you know irl? Most of them JNFDSKJGHS im not gonna count im lazy
23. do you have any pets? Used 2 hav a dog but all dogs go 2 heaven. Also I love that film that film was my whole childhood
24. do you want to change your name? legally yh I want 2 change it 2 richard but im lazy and clueless about how to do it
25. what did you do for your last birthday? I went 2 the pub with uni friends and it was super super sweet
26. what time did you wake up today? Like 11/12 bc im a disaster
27. what were you doing at midnight last night? Probably watching jane the virgin
28. what is something you cant wait for? To get on T BINCH and also to move into my new house in july
30. what are you listening to right now? Nothing I cant listen 2 music and write who do u think I am, superman???
31. have you ever talked to a person named tom? That’s my brothers name KJGDKGD
32. something thats getting on your nerves? How dirty the kitchen is
33. most visited website? Def tumblr like 100% im always here its lame
34. hair color: mousey brown, what it is now
35. long or short hair: short
36. do you have a crush on someone: we’re sorry! You must purchase the premium toadcircus package to unlock this answer.
37. what do you like about yourself: I like that I can make people laugh, I like my nose, I like that I think in a bit of a squiffy way compared 2 other people bc sometimes its cool
38. want any piercings? I want 2 get my ear pierced maybe and get a little ring that’d look cool I think. Maybe my bridge pierced idk
39. blood type: dude idk
40. nicknames: Richard (Im putting my actual name as a nickname bc its used more as a nickname than my nickname is), ricky, richardio, ricardio, rich…. Charlie called me Bichy once I think, which is a hightlight
41. relationship status: single as HELL and sad about it
42. zodiac: libra
43. pronouns: he/him
44. fave tv shows: always sunny, peep show, that mitchelle and webb look, jane the virgin, crazy ex girlfriend, dirk gently holistic detective agency, Brooklyn 99… I like a lot of shows, more than this. I just cant remember them
45. tattoos: none atm but I want some
46. right or left handed: right
47. ever had surgery: no
48. piercings: septum
49. sport: rolling fat doinks
50. vacation: I want 2 go to Amsterdam
51. trainers: what
more general
52. eating: I wish you didn’t have to eat and instead you’d just take these like, nutrition pills and that eating was like, a hobby or something. Bc I don’t like it much altho I boredom eat quite a lot so im just a hypocrite. Oh I just saw the next question, u mean what im eating right now gkjfkgd nothing
53. drinking: squash
54. im about to watch: not the latest crazy exgf ep, but the one before bc I got half way thru apparantely and just stopped and I forgot what I watched anyway so im gonna rewatch it
55. waiting for: to get deeper into my new projects. That sentence doesn’t make sense but that’s the questions fault, not me
56. want: I want 2 do a bong hit and play more half life 2 TBH
57. get married: hopefully someday
58. career: hopefully drawing shit. Commission me
which is better
59. hugs or kisses: literally anything
60. lips or eyes: eyes. I notice eyes first like the colour and stuff but good lips r essential (don’t hold me to this if I date someone with weird lips)
61. shorter or taller: I don’t mind, being with someone shorter would make me feel taller but then we’d both be really short idk… taller probs
62. older or younger: no one older than like… 26 atm I think. Or younger than 18 obviously but I think maybe actually 19 bc that’s uni age. So is 18 idk idk
63. nice arms or stomach: arms
64. hookup or relationship: relationship 100%
65. troublemaker or hesitant: troublemaker
have you ever
66. kissed a stranger: yeah hoohoo
67. drank hard liquor: yeee
68. lost glasses: I don’t have glasses
69. turned someone down: yeahh
70. sex on first date: no
71. broken someones heart: hhhhhhh probably (this is dabbens answer but it was legit what I was going to type)
72. had your heart broken: yh binch probably
73. been arrested: No and hopefully never amen
74. cried when someone died: yeah ofc
75. fallen for a friend: yeah
do you believe in
76. yourself: kind of! I believe I can do fun big things hopefully but only if I stop being so scatty
77. miracles: I suppose
78. love at first sight: kind of yeah. I think sometimes you can tell when you’re attracted to someone when you first see them and sometimes you can fall in love with them also
79. santa claus: nop
80. kiss on a first date: sure if he’s cute and im feelin it
81. angels: sort of
other
82. best friend’s name: I don’t like saying people are my best friend because im always scared that they wont see me as their best friend when I see them as mine so I just have friends but some friends that I see and think about more often
83. eye colour: blue
84. fave movie: idk there r 2 many 2 choose
85. fave actor Armie Hammer is hot shit and I want 2 look at him all the time.
i’m gonna tag
@dreamsweetinseamajor @groovy-vampire @ickyyy @furcoat
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Today I
walked all the way downtown and found out museums cost more here than they do in México. I could go to a fancy schmancy museum for the equivalent of like $4-5 in México but here it's a smooth $13-15. It's good I don't have a lot of money to spare or I would've spent it for the experience. Instead I admired the tons of outdoor sculptures and all the beings I'm used to seeing as houseplants out in the open in conditions that allow them such really incredible growth and expansion.
am gonna share the real truth about downtown is that I got there by 10am to catch a free walking tour and then bailed on the tour bc the guide rubbed me the wrong way before even getting into the first building on the tour. While waiting for it to start I saw a poster for an exhibition by Jiménez Heredia and it was his sculptures that I saw all around the city center.
got a kick out of guys on actual, proper nice microphones convincing people to go into their stores.
learned that San José's streets are like nothing I've ever experienced before. Every street is either a Calle, an Avenida or a Transversal. You can be on Calle 25 and Avenida 7 in several different neighborhoods. Not a East, West, South, North indicator in sight. I walked in the rain for at least an hour and a half bc I hate looking at maps every two seconds and it was raining and I, umbrellaless, found myself walking confidently in the wrong direction. It didn't matter when I was just trying to find the Mercado Central. It was tragic and hilarious by the time I was trying to walk back to the hostel and realized I was on the wrong Calle 23 like 3 neighborhoods over.
ate at a small restaurant in a market that wasn't the Mercado Central but close enough at the time. The woman who took my order rubbed my back at one point. She spoke fast but was very sweet. I think it was her husband that made sure I got a spoon for the spicy carrots on the table.
walked into a bookstore and saw that I know a good amount of Latin American authors! and that there are manga versions in Spanish of Nietzsche and the New Testament of the Bible, among other things.
ran into the Mercado Central when I wasn't looking for it and looked for something sweet, only to find I didn't have enough cash on me for it. Then I started to see diff groups of several Black people who looked and sounded like they were from the US. My soul reached out but I was also drenched and they weren't paying me no attention haha
went to go see El Despertar de Las Hormigas. It was lovely. I'm gonna be processing in my journal tomorrow. All I have to say now is that I'm okay with not having a more traditional trajectory. I have the privilege of getting to think only about myself more often than not and that's still the speed I'm at and I'm okay with it.
saw the outline of this man's body and his motorcycle helmet at his side and then I saw his face and then I wanted to look again and again and again but alas, we went in different directions. Just on my very short way back from the movie. I had been plotting on getting something sweet from the market on the corner and after I saw him I knew no postre was gonna cut the longing for some semblance of pleasure. I tried anyway, got guayaba-filled cookies. Thought a crunch might be satisfying but I wouldn't buy chips again tonight. Turns out I was right. I knew I was right when I was walking around the market but I wanted to be wrong.
think I'll look up the words from things I've read and didn't all the way understand before bed.
called a friend of a friend of a friend who lives here and made arrangements to see the city tomorrow
remembered there are a lot of attractive men around to see but few that make you slow down for a bit.
wondered if I make anyone slow down for a bit.
was told again to get out of San José as soon as possible. Still listening. Still planning to go to La Fortuna a little after the ass crack of dawn on Saturday.
needed the ambling and am starting to feel more at peace.
wrote in my journal a whole lot, including mis prioridades y agradecimientos.
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