#the only woman who is allowed to worry about her children's safety

[qurbanjaan]

My experience and personal view on veiling as someone who grew up under a Burqa

When I was born, my father didn’t want me because I was a girl. When a girl is born, she isn’t cherished like a boy. Your life is received as a deadweight (note: I’m not saying this is something that happens every single time, just most of them) and a disappointment by the family. When your first breath comes in, the honor is on your shoulders.

My parents were so disappointed they gave me up to my aunt and uncle until I was one year old. When I was three, my father tried to sell/promise me into marriage. My grandmother, his mother, was the one who intervened and stopped him from doing it.

As I grew up, I noticed clear differences between me and girls from less conservative families, but everything was relatively normal until I hit nine years old. When it happened, I suddenly stopped traveling with my parents, stopped being able to leave the curtains open, couldn’t wear the clothes I used to wear even though I was still a child… as I grew older and older, the restrictions increased as my uncle and my father said I was becoming a beautiful woman and “I would be a problem for their family”.

Then, when I noticed, I wasn’t allowed to appear on windows, get packages from the mailman, go out in the yard, have a phone, stay alone in my room, talk to men (even if it was something as trivial as buying groceries), going out alone, needing to looking down when men walk past you, stay in your room when there’s visitors and don’t make a noise so they can’t hear you, not speak too loudly either, not share your name… the list is endless.

And, when you grow up inside a such conservative, traditional and religious family, your only future is disappearing. Along with having no voice and no face, servitude is as inescapable as death.

When you’re under a piece of cloth, you become faceless, you have no identity of your own. Outside the house, you’re a ghost. Inside the house, you’re a servant. You have no choice over yourself. This is your identity, a servant ghost who’s screams people pretend not to hear.

To a certain level, when you try to reflect on it, the veiling can be comforting. Being invisible can be comforting, no one sees you, you don’t need to worry about a thing. You can hide all your thoughts and most shameful actions from the daylight and no one is going to find out about them. But, when you are under the veil, your identity becomes something only you know about. To the rest of the world, you don’t exist, you’re not human. The veil will slowly dehumanize you, you will start fading away and there’s nothing you can do about it because how can someone attribute a face to a piece of fabric with a mesh on eye level?

And don’t fool yourself, the longer you keep your veil on, the harder the expectations will be. You may only need to cover now, but in some time, they will ask you why are your toes showing and why are you not hiding your hands behind the veil too, and why are you even outside your house? You should be home, protecting your family’s honor, you’re disgracing your family, go home.

And you may think “I’m invisible to the outside world but in my house I’m irreplaceable”, are you? How irreplaceable will you be when a younger, better wife comes in and the only safety you may have is the idea that your children will grow up to take care of you? How would someone possibly feel bad for you when you are nothing but a black trashbag? If you become a beggar, how will they see the suffering on your face if it will be covered and hidden away from the world?

I can’t be hypocritical and say that I don’t feel a sense of security under the veil, but it’s a false sense of security. When the time for your death comes, you won’t have your name on your grave, you won’t have a face. All you will ever have been is a servant, invisible to the outside world, with no God above to wonder “what about her?”. How dear are you inside those walls?

[ordowrites]

some arlecchino headcanons

we are about 34 days away from her debut and i'm excited, so i am here, with a fever and nothing to do until i recover so it's time to ramble about this woman who i've been excited for since her debut in winter night's lazzo

cw: some fluff, some not sfw mentions, afab reader but no pronouns used, use of pet names, mdni, minors dni, general warnings for canon typical violence, some mentions of D/s, sort of a sugar relationship, power imbalances, pet play, possessive behaviors. everything is consensual. please ask if something should be tagged i didn't get already

arlecchino is, for the lack of a better word, a kind lover. she isn't inherently cruel nor would she never intentionally raise a hand to you unless you ask very nicely. she is attentive for someone of her stature and position, she knows many things about you although you know very little about her - still, having your likes and dislikes, favorite color, dream wedding, and so on is to her advantage. she touches you as if you may shatter beneath her touch and you're the last person in this world that she wants to corrupt.

while she is kind, she does get condescending sometimes. she likes making the decisions in the relationship and calling the shots, such as where you guys eat, what you guys eat, sometimes what you wear, simpler decisions - although, she also wants a partner who knows what they want and can speak up for themselves. being confident is important, but not egotistical. (after all, she may be calling the shots, but your thoughts are still pretty important to her)

she will pay for everything. oh don't you worry your pretty little head, she's a Harbinger, she can pay. you sit pretty and enjoy your dinner and conversation. she'll gift you things you like, get you necessities should you only ask for them. so long as it brings a smile to your face, she will do it to an extent.

in comparison to others, such as diluc, whose love language is gift giving and he loves showering his partner with expensive gifts no strings attached - arlecchino's can be underhanded and come at a price. not everything comes from the kindness of her heart, and she's more than frank enough to tell you when she wants you on your knees to work for that dress you've been eying. (and of course, you will do so)

she likes to refer to you as pet, precious, and similar names to that. maybe she views you a bit as a pet, what with that collar she presented to you sometime ago? "oh, it's so everyone knows you belong to me. would you rather something more permanent?" (of course, if you stutter out your protests about wearing a collar in public, she'll just smile, cup your face, and tell you how sweet you look). she did also gift you a lovely necklace to wear at all times after your initial shock of the collar. after all, she still does value your comfort. nothing is ever non-consensual with her. after all, she teaches her "children" the importance of consent and valuing their own lives, so she should model such teachings with you.

you have dinner at home, together, at the same time, six days a week. once a week, she will take you out to the fanciest place she can in order to show you off to the public. her arm wrapped around your waist, your dress matches her red lip stick, and she shows you off proudly to the public. everyone knows you're the Harbinger's most beloved one. And she is quick to remind anyone who forgets. (and hold your head up high, goodness sakes', she wants you to be proud of yourself. if she didn't find you worth her attention, you wouldn't be at her side.)

the two of you will also have daily tea and cake, at the same time. always your favorite or whatever you are craving at the time. she loves to spoil you with these sorts of things.

She will never allow you to meet any of the other Harbingers. For your safety, of course. You are but an innocent person in this world, but if she ever does take you to a banquet, her clawed hand will never leave your hip. Her eyes will always be on you should you ever have a need to leave her side, and soft, veiled threats to her colleagues should they dare to even look at you wrong.

Sex with Arlecchino happens whenever it happens, and she's always happy to indulge if you're feeling particularly horny. But she doesn't make it easy for you to find the relief you're chasing. She likes to draw things out, she likes to hear you make noises that make you blush, and see tears prick at your eyes as you struggle to not orgasm without her okay to do so.

She's also not the biggest fan of bondage, but if you're being particularly naughty, she'll tie you up. Or if you ask her, nicely of course. (the reason being is because she likes feeling you touch her, your touch is always so soft and gentle)

However... something has caught her eye recently - a type of bondage hailing from Inazuma. Shibari. Oh yes, she will have you in soft red rope in her office just to look at. That is, if she doesn't have you already half naked and eating her out while she works while desperately humping her shoe because she issued you a challenge and it's been a few weeks since you've last had an orgasm. Really, whichever has her fancy at the time. (she does this because she loves seeing you fucked out and needy and pliant)

she also likes marking you - bright red marks or purple all over your neck where people can see. and she's always disappointed if you try to hide them. ("for shame, do you not wish for people to know who you belong to?")

("look at you, my most perfect pet. i must say, that is a good color on you. now, hold your head up high and don't cower. let everyone see the same thing i see in you.")

[twstfanblog]

So how’d Malleus grab his kids? Was his oldest fulfilling her dreams of being an evil tyrant dragon while her siblings were making sure that no one tries to kill her?

Evil Dad AU meeting story 3 unlocked! Let's go! (Psst. I have evil queen Vil's entire story already plotted through too)

Just for backstory, Silver pretends to be a righteous knight who travels the various kingdoms under Malleus's rule. He pretends to be loyal to the various human kingdoms to learn about the many plots they've got to kill Malleus. He doesn't ever find anything worthy of worry past the supposed 'Dragon Killing blade'. But Malleus and Lilia allow him to roam around because they think it's cute that Silver cares about Malleus's safety. But one Spring (When Silver comes back to the castle to visit his family) Silver is concerned and asks for an audience with Malleus. Malleus is very off-handed because he thinks it's just Silver being overly concerned about a new weapon that's suppose to kill him. Malleus: What is new? Silver: There is a bounty for a dragon- Malleus: Are they still trying to kill me? It was cute a few hundred years ago, but you'd assume they'd learn after the dead 'heroes' reached the dozens... Silver: Silver: It's not you this time…it was for another dragon…one that actually looks like you…but younger… Malleus: The Diasomnia crew all pack up and go off into the lands to find what could only be Malleus's child. There is only one person Malleus ever slept with so they all know what it means if this is his son. And Malleus would also hope this leads him back to Yuu. They find Malicent terrorizing a small village, this much smaller version of Malleus's dragon form jumping around and setting fires. After a few moments of them all cooing they work to catch this juvinelle. Surprisingly just when they're about to catch him, another dragon child appears. The teal dragon confuses them enough to give the two enough of a gape to escape into the woods, leaving the Diasomnia crew in stunned silence. They're all confused because how are there two!? Malleus only slept with one woman in the past hundred years so there should only be one Draconia child.

Lilia: Lilia: I mean…I've never seen it…but what's to say the egg didn't hatch two babies? Malleus: Malleus: I need to find that woman… They of course catch up and nearly catch them AGAIN. Only to have ANOTHER DRAGON to swoop in. Malgona standing over them and her brother's flanking her demanding they leave HER lands. Malleus is overjoyed, he barely even cares anymore about HOW and just wants his and Yuu's children to be taken back home with them. He completely steamrolls over them saying they don't really want to leave their lands and are constantly rejecting his claim on them. It ends on the triplets bolting in different directions making them spit to catch one triplet. And even with the home-field advantage, the triplets are caught and Malleus asks them where their mother so he can collect her as well. Malgona is very bitter at being beaten but tells him they haven't seen her for three years. She would have normally visited them in the winter to make sure they were doing well in the weather, but she didn't come back one winter. Malgona: We were fine though, we have each other and are strong enough to deal with whatever could challenge us...So you can leave. Malleus: Nonsense, you and your brother's are much too young to be on your own. Malicent: We're 13... Lilia, horrified: Oh lord, you're infants. Malgona: WE'RE 13!? Lilia: Infants Malleus: By fae standards, you children shouldn't even be away from your mother's embrace yet Malathew: We're not fae though? We're dragons. Malleus: SO, that's how Malleus realizes how Yuu never planned on returning to him because she didn't even tell their children their true heritage. So into his arms they go, kicking and screaming, back to his empire and to be locked in the castle until he decides they're ready to go out into the world again.

[demonvampire180writes]

Oh Captain My Captain

Summary:

Bobby has no issues being honest about his feelings. Until he does. It's been months since he left the 118, and he wakes up every morning regretting it, but he made this bed and now he's being forced to lay in it. But he doesn't want anyone to know. Can't let anyone know his weakness. Athena, the amazing woman and wife that she is, does notice however, and she makes it her mission to bring that smile back to her husbands face, and bring his family back to him, any way she can.

Rating: GA

Pairing(s): Bathena, Henren, Tevan, Madney

Characters: The 118 plus spouses and children, May and Harry Grant (Mostly mentioned in passing)

Trigger Warnings: Mentions of poor mental health/depression

Word Count: 4,358

Completion Status: Complete

At exactly seven in the morning, Bobby’s alarm rang. Groaning, he flopped onto his side and groped from the old fashioned alarm clock he preferred. When he didn’t find it in two seconds, he let out a string of curses as he opened bleary eyes so he could silence the infernal thing. When he’d worked at the firehouse, he had never dreaded waking up. Sure, he might not have sprung out of bed, eager to greet the morning each day, but it rarely felt like a chore.

His bad morning was only made worse by the fact that Athena’s side of the bed had long since gone cold, her having left for work hours ago. He was upset with himself that he couldn’t even remember her kissing him goodbye like she always did. No matter what kind of morning he was having, seeing her, feeling her lips and body against his, always made him feel better.

Grumbling, he flopped back down onto his stomach and closed his eyes, convincing himself that he could take just five more minutes.

Five turned into ten, which turned into fifteen. By the time he’d forced himself out of bed, Bobby was scrambling to get ready. With learned efficiency he’d brushed his teeth while brewing a pot of coffee, and thanked Athena, the goddess she was, for setting aside breakfast he only had to pop in the microwave for thirty seconds. He left the house only five minutes later than he usually would.

Arriving on the Hotshots set, he greeted the crew and, begrudgingly, the director. He kept a pointed eye out for Brad, not quite emotionally ready to deal with his seeming exuberance, and borderline obsession, with Bobby.

After a quick staff meeting, discussing what the director wanted to get done for the day, the crew split and Bobby took his seat and tried to get comfortable. Within half an hour, he found himself wanting to nod off, having watched the same scene about thirty times because the actors just couldn’t seem to get it right. He desperately wanted to make corrections about proper procedures - safety and otherwise - but he’d been shot down enough times that he’d learned to keep his mouth shut. If they wanted to ignore his advice and make the most illogical procedural they could, who was he to argue?

Finally noon rolled around and they were all allowed to break for lunch. Bobby headed into the warehouse they’d set up as a canteen for some overcooked chicken and rice. One of these days, he would just start bringing his own lunch. He wasn’t getting paid enough to suffer this bland white people food more than once a week. A pang of regret shot through his heart as he remembered meals at the 118. The way Buck had lit up when Bobby offered to teach him to cook. How Hen would confide in him all her worries about her family as he bounced around the kitchen, offering advice only if she asked. He ached for those quiet moments where he and Chimney would be sharing a cup of coffee, first thing in the morning or eleven at night depending on the shift - not saying anything, but enjoying the silence together. And Eddie. Poor, poor Eddie who had suffered more than a man his age should. Bobby missed being leaned on.

Not that he’d ever admit it. Even as he looked through his messages to see that the last one he’d gotten from any of his kids was over a month and a half ago. Sighing, stuffing another piece of bland nothingness into his mouth, he opened his text thread with his wife.

Bobby: Hey baby, how’s work? Missing you. <3

Athena: Hey, missing you too. Work is good. Full of paperwork. How’s my showbiz hubby?

Bobby: Less stressful than a house full of grown children.

Athena: I bet, baby. How’s that actor?

They chatted for awhile more, and while Bobby felt lighter after the conversation, it didn’t last long. His accursed stalker, cough, actor, slid into the seat next to him, already beginning his diatribe against the director and writers. He seemed to have a hard-on for accuracy and would do anything to get his way. Including shit talking the people that employed him. Bobby tuned him out, focusing on the last few bites of his meal. By the time action was called again, Bobby was ready to go home, both his home with his wife and his home with his found family.

But that was neither here nor there.

Athena could feel something was wrong. Bobby greeted her like usual when he arrived home, with a smile and a kiss bordering on filthy, but something was still… Off. She couldn’t quite put her finger on what. She sat at the counter as she sipped a glass of wine and watched her husband puttering around the kitchen, making his special lasagna for dinner. She leaned into one hand, watching him closely as he chopped up veggies and stirred the homemade tomato sauce. What was wrong?

“Did things not go well at work today?” She tried to ask casually, humming slightly with the question. “You seem agitated.”

He paused in his chopping only long enough to glance up at her with a soft smile before returning to his task and replying, “No more than usual. It’s just one of the actors getting on my nerves is all.”

She snorted. “I didn’t know that was possible, not after adopting several adult children you worked with day in and day out.” That was when Athena noticed it; the way his shoulders stiffened and his brow furrowed just that littlest bit. She could see the tension in his body language though he tried to hide it. 

Shaking his head he said, “Yeah, well, I was in charge of those man children. I don’t exactly have the same sway with these ones. Did you know just how pompous famous actors are? You should hear the way Brad talks to the staff members. He treats them like they’re the gum stuck to the bottom of his shoe. Don’t even get me started on the phone call I overheard on set a few weeks back.”

Athena stood and slid over to wrap her arms tightly around her husband's waist, resting her head against his tense shoulder. She pressed a kiss to it, and breathed deeply. “I know, baby. I know things aren’t the same. I’d say it could always be worse, but I’m sure that’s not what you want to hear.”

He relaxed under her touch, but only slightly. “I’m just thankful to have a job where my expertise matters.” Bobby draped his arm over hers and the two of them stood, swaying, for a few long moments, both their eyes closed as they simply enjoyed each other's presence. “Alright, let me get this lasagna finished so that we can enjoy some… alone time.” He turned his head enough for Athena to peep that boyish, smug, smile and her body tingled happily in response. Giving his middle one last squeeze, she let him go but not without patting his ass as she went back to take her seat. One of the things Athena loved about her man, more than almost anything else, was his resilience, but even the most resilient people needed help from the outside once in awhile and she knew just how to do it.

Picking up her phone, she started a group chat she labeled “Family.”

Athena: Bobby S.O.S

Buckaroo: Shit, what’s wrong? Did he have another heart attack? I’m coming over right now, I’ll be there in 20.

Chimney: Athena, you can’t just start a conversation like that

Athena: Buck, don’t come over right now. He’s physically fine

Hen: Chim is right, ‘Thena. Tell us what’s wrong.

May: You never use group chats, something must be seriously wrong

Buckaroo: c’mon ‘Thena, you can’t do this to me. what’s wrong with Bobby?

Harry: mom why do you have us in a chat with the 118? is bobby hurt?

Hen: You said physically. Seriously Athena, you’re scaring me. What’s wrong?

Eddie: What did I wake up to? Athena what’s wrong with Bobby?

Athena took a moment to smile at her phone, her heart swelling with love for the people that had become Bobby’s family. They cared so much for him. Even though they were all busy, the moment she’d called for them they answered. Though, it did beg the question on why not a single one of them had come to visit since Bobby retired. She knew they were upset about him not telling them that he was retiring, but that hardly seemed reason to cut him out completely. Maybe they thought he was too busy on set? Or maybe they thought they wouldn’t have had room in the apartment their insurance was paying for? That still didn’t explain why they never texted him.

Regardless, they were answering her call now and that’s what mattered. They still cared. They would still come for him. As her phone continued pinging with messages, she typed out a quick response, hoping she could keep it a secret long enough to surprise her husband.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

The next three weeks came and went. The only positive light in it all was having found their new forever home. Due to their busy schedules, they’d decided to have movers come in and get things from point A to point B and the two of them would unpack a few boxes at a time throughout the evenings. In no time flat they’d managed to make their new house a home.

And yet it still felt so… empty. So devoid of life. Despite the light from the huge wall of windows in the living room and kitchen, it felt like he was looking at it through a greyscale lens.

May and Henry’s new bedrooms remained empty, except for some new bedding and furniture. The pristine cleanliness of the living room set Bobby’s teeth on edge. Athena loved a clean home, and they did their best to keep the worst of it away, but all homes had a certain dustiness, to him, that made a house feel homey. Even the kitchen, which he’d been so excited about, hardly brought him any joy and why would it? While searching for homes, he’d been searching subconsciously for a space big enough that he could fit all his loved ones in while he cooked for them, his grandkids zipping around the house and getting underfoot as his kids “taste tested” every dish. Athena would be sitting on one of the stools gazing lovingly at him, with stars in her eyes, appreciating all those he’d brought with him into her little family.

But instead, the home looked cold and sterile, like a decor catalog in a magazine.

Sighing, Bobby ran his damp rag once more over the countertop, having finished preparing a huge salad that his wife had requested. He glanced up at the sound of her footsteps. “Hey, Bobby.”

“Hey ‘Thena.” He leaned over the counter to peck her on the lips, a small thrill zipping through him. His love for her only grew stronger every day he got to see her beautiful face. “What’s up?”

She sighed and slid into a chair. “I forgot about a cookout I’m having at work soon and need to go shopping for some of the ingredients, but I’m just not sure I’m up for it today.” She twisted her wedding band around her finger and looked up, pleadingly, at Bobby, giving him those puppy dog eyes she knew he found hard to resist.

“Well, when is the cookout?” He asked, rinsing his rag before hanging it over the faucet to dry. “They’re not filming today so maybe I can go for you instead.”

Her face visibly brightened, and she sat up straighter in her seat. “Oh, would you? I’ve got things around the house I want to finish up and didn’t want to have to add yet another thing to that list.” She chuckled a bit before tacking, “The joys of moving into a new house, I guess. The chore list never seems to end.”

“Don’t I know it.” Bobby chuckled, coming around the counter to plant a kiss to the top of Athena’s head. She hummed with pleasure, doing a little shimmy as he ghosted his lips down to kiss her at the temple as well. “Here’s to hoping this is the last time we’ll ever have to move, even when we’re old and greying.” Athena snorted and gently back handed his stomach. “Write me up a list of things you’ll need and I’ll head out to the store in say, twenty minutes?”

“Sounds perfect, sweetheart.” Reaching over the counter she snatched up the pad of legal paper set there specifically for making lists as well as a pen. Bobby watched her for a moment longer before turning to go tidy himself up before going out. With his back turned, he didn’t notice Athena slip her phone out from under the counter to type furiously.

Athena to Family: Bobby is going to be on the move in twenty, so hussle your asses. We won’t have long. <3

Bobby took the list from his wife, giving it a cursory once over - a little surprised to see just how much stuff was listed - but knew better than to question her with more than a, “Wow, are you feeding the whole precinct?” with a bemused face, eyebrows raised.

She replied, “Us officers need to eat a lot to keep up our strength. My big strong firefighter knows what that’s like.” She gave his bicep a squeeze, pupils dilating a bit and his body shivered in response, eyes dropping to her pouting lips. Athena didn’t miss a beat as she leaned in and ravished his lips until he groaned and pulled away. She licked at her bottom one as she crossed her arms over her chest, a satisfied, cheshire smirk playing over her mouth.

“Naughty, naughty girl.” He reached out and ran his hand down her arm, gripping her wrist ever so gently in his large hand.

“Naughty enough for you to spank me, officer?” God damn it, his wife was going to kill him. Groaning, he dove in for one last kiss before turning and forcing himself out the door, forced to listen to her cackling as the door closed behind him.

As soon as he was out of sight, Athena got to work, digging out the decorations she’d been buying, and hiding, over the last few weeks, jittery with excitement. Hopefully she’d have enough time to set everything up.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

Two hours later Bobby pulled up their driveway, taking a deep breath to settle himself once the car was in park. He spent the next five minutes with his hands braced on the top of the steering wheel, staring off into nothing as he tried to prepare himself for the emptiness again. He loved their new house, he did, but it was difficult, sometimes, to go inside knowing that the warmth he’d felt at their other house was gone forever.

Composed, he got out, and went to the back seat to retrieve the grocery bags. He’d found it odd that Athena had requested nearly twenty high quality steaks; he'd never liked coworkers enough to fork over money for the good stuff, on top of five bags of different flavors of potato chips. When he entered the house, something felt off. He couldn’t quite put his finger on what but it was quiet. Too quiet.

Setting his keys in the bowl next to the front door he called out, “Athena? Honey?” Frowning, he weaved his way through the living room and into the kitchen where the salad he’d prepared earlier sat on the counter, a pair of tongs sticking out. That was odd. Athena was very particular about food being put away if no one was eating. Setting down the bags weighing his arms down, he pulled the fridge open so he could put the steaks away, feeling his heart lurch at the eerie silence. Any time things got too quiet, something was always about to go wrong. Once the meat was away, he straightened and closed the fridge, calling out his wife’s name once more. “Athena!” There was a bit of a hysterical note he couldn’t quite dispel.

It was then that he noticed a trail of something on the floor. Yellow and red petals. Cocking an eyebrow, and kind of wishing he was armed, Bobby followed it, moving slowly, stealth on his mind. The petals grew more dense the closer to the back patio that he got. So did the number of things that didn’t make sense. Streamers hung from the windows and along the railing to the upstairs. A folding table had been set up against the wall. Atop it were a plethora of party items like plastic plates and cups and even utensils. Bobby’s Spidey senses tingled, and the apprehension he felt melted away until he felt a smile tugging at his lips. The trail finally ended at the doors to the back porch. The fairy lights along the pergola were lit, though the sun was still out.

Still, there was no sign of life.

Sliding the back door open, he stepped out onto the patio and immediately he heard the giggles of a young girl. He couldn’t hold back his grin any longer. “Wow, this house sure is quiet. I wonder where my wife could have gone?” His tone was playful. “I sure hope we don’t have any naughty burglars in my backyard.”

Not a second later, the entirety of his family popped up from various spots around the patio, screaming at the top of their lungs, “Welcome home, Bobby!” And then there was a pile of tiny limbs and young girl in his arms, wrapped around him like a koala.

“Grampa!” Jee-yun screamed, slapping his cheeks with her tiny little hands as she stared deep into his eyes. “Were you surprised?” She asked, leaning in until she pecked the tip of her nose, bringing a true smile to his face as the weight in his chest lifted. For the first time in months it felt like he could breathe again. Warmth prickled the back of his eyes and he sniffled. He must not have done a great job holding back the tears though because Jee’s face fell and she began to sniffle herself. “Grampa, why are you crying? Did I hurt you?” Her bottom lip trembled violently but before she could begin to wail, Bobby bundled her further into his arms, holding her tight against his chest as he breathed her in.

“No Jee, you didn’t hurt me. Not at all. I’m just so surprised that my happiness came out as a few tears. I’m okay, I promise.” He booped her nose which earned him a huge smile, her emotions flipping on a dime thank God. “Did you help Grammy ‘Thena set this up for me?”

A moment later she was being lifted out of her arms by her mother. Maddie gazed at him, on the verge of tears herself, not that was unusual, if the shimmer in her eyes was anything to go by. “She sent out an S.O.S.” Leaning in she brought Bobby into a bone crushing hug and he reciprocated, feeling warmth rush through him.

“Why didn’t you tell us something was wrong, cap?” Another familiar voice asked. Maddie stepped away and her arms were replaced by much larger ones, the familiarity a balm to his soul.

Snorting Bobby replied, “You know me, Eddie. Can handle everyone but myself. It’s good to see you. Not sure about the ‘stache though.”

“C’mon cap, you know you love it.” Eddie pulled away and worked his eyebrows up and down before smoothing down the mustache with his thumb and pointer finger. Bobby laughed as Eddie was shoved out of the way by Karen, who wrapped herself so tightly around him that Bobby struggled to breathe.

“Why do men have to make things so complicated?” She sniffed, pulling away just in time for Denny and Mara to wrap him up in their arms. “We thought you’d be too busy with filming to bother you. Why didn’t you tell us how bad things were getting?”

“She’s right, Bobby. We never meant to push you out of our lives. Sure, were we a little upset when you didn’t tell us you’d retired? Yeah but we still need you. We’ll always need you.” Hen wasn’t crying, but the devastated look she wore pulled on Bobby’s heartstrings. She pulled him into a hug and held him for a long, long time. “I’m not ready to be captain all the time yet. With Gerrard in the hospital, I’m just keeping your spot warm until you’re ready to come back.”

“Thanks Hen.” He whispered, giving her an extra squeeze before she was pushed out of the way for a silent hug from Chimney. He patted Bobby heavily on the back, holding him for that second longer like everyone else had.

Finally getting a second to breathe, he looked around at the face of the people who had become his family and felt the way his heart began knitting itself back together. There was one person who hadn’t approached him yet, though, and his heart wouldn’t fully heal until they spoke. Gazing at each of his children’s faces, he landed on the one who had really become his son. Buck stood towards the back with Tommy, their fingers linked, Buck leaning into his side. A complicated look was on his face, like he wanted to bowl Bobby over in a hug but also wanted to give him a tongue lashing he’d never forget.

“Buck?” Bobby asked, voice thick. Taking a chance, he held his arms out, prepared for Buck to step into them if he wanted, and preparing himself mentally for if he didn’t. His youngest recruit hesitated for a long, long moment before his uncertainty disappeared and he dashed forward into Bobby’s embrace. Bobby held him there, breathing, “I’m sorry, Buck. For everything.”

He felt wetness on his shoulder and his knitting heart broke again. “Why’d you have to leave, cap?”

He sighed. “I knew then, Buck, but I’m not sure I have the answer anymore. I’m reaping what I sowed and facing the consequences of those actions.”

“Was it something I did?”

Bobby rubbed his back and replied with conviction, “No Buck. There’s nothing you could ever do to make me want to leave.”

“Not even stealing fire trucks to have wild sex?”

Bobby snorted, squeezing him tight once before pushing him back and grabbing him by the shoulders. “Not even then.”

Red eyed and puffy faced, “When are you coming back, cap?”

Reaching up, Bobby wiped away his tears and replied, “I don’t know, Buck, but I’m trying. Just know that okay. I’m trying my hardest to get back to you and the rest of our family. I’ll never abandon you.” Buck sniffled again and nodded, wiping at his nose with the back of his hand as Tommy stepped up behind him and wrapped an arm around his shoulders, pulling him into a side hug.

“Bobby.” Tommy said with a smile, reaching out a hand for a shake since his boyfriend was currently a trembling mess against him and Tommy couldn’t go in for the hug. Bobby took it between both hands and gave it a firm shake, trying to convey how grateful he was to Tommy for being there for his boy.

Clearing his throat, Bobby raised his hands and yelled, “Well what are we waiting for? Let’s party!” His group of onlookers cheered loudly and immediately broke off into conversation. The kids raced around the backyard, giggling and cheering. The adults went to help prep the food table with all the more perishable foods they’d hidden.

As he looked on, Athena slid in next to him and wrapped her arms around his waist, staring up into his eyes. He looked down at her, heart filled to bursting. “Those steaks weren’t for an office party were they?”

“Hmmm.” She blinked her long lashes at him before smirking. “No one likes their coworkers that much, Bobby. Tommy is on grill duty tonight so your job is to sit here and bask in your family until you can’t take them anymore.”

“Is that so, Ms. Grant?”

“Yes it is, Mr. Nash. Now, you’re going to pour me a glass of sparkling juice and we’re going to go sit in that lawn chair over there and celebrate this new chapter in our lives, got it?”

“Ma’am, yes ma’am.” Grinning, Bobby leaned down and captured his wife’s mouth in a kiss, basking in all her glory. “You’re amazing, you know that?” He breathed against her lips.

“I know, baby. But maybe next time don’t wait so long to tell me that you need more, okay? Nothing hurts me more than to see you hurting.” She pulled him into an even deeper hug, resting her head against his chest, and simply swaying to the sound of background chatter until he pulled away and directed her to sit while he fulfilled her request.

As he filled a plate with some fruit, veggies and little cubes of cheese, and filled a plastic champagne flute with sparkling juice, Bobby sent a prayer to God, thanking him for blessing him with the best family he could’ve asked for after letting his first family down. Although he couldn’t bring them back, he could spend the rest of this life giving his all to those he had now.

The party went late into the night. When Bobby and Athena finally crawled their way into bed, May and Henry tucked into their new bedrooms, Bobby found that he didn’t dread the sound of his alarm Monday morning quite as much as he had this morning. Wrapping Athena up, he pulled her tight against his body, breathed in her scent, and fell asleep feeling like the most blessed man on Earth.

Ao3 Link: Oh Captain My Captain

[spnfic85]

First Comes Love... (Ch. 6)

WARNINGS: 18+ -Minors DNI ‼️- Fluff, Protective Uncle Peter, Protective Thor

Word Count: 1.85k

Author’s Note: Thank you again @slytherinqueen4life for reminding me how much I love this story! I know this chapter is a bit short, but I hope you enjoy!

Summary: Little trips can bring big announcements

Masterlist

Chapter 6

Your phone pinged almost immediately as Tony simply texted your name. You bit your lip and kissed Thor on the cheek before the pair of you decided to duck out of the bookstore and retreat to the parked car left in front of the café. Thor chuckled a bit at you as you ducked your head, hiding away your face as a photographer asked for your name. Although your partner was used to the attention, it made your face flush to be bombarded with questions as you slipped into the shadow and safety of the passenger seat while Thor gently closed your door with a wink.  

He smiled politely at the few who were eager to get information and murmured an apology and need to get somewhere before slipping into the driver’s seat and starting the engine. Your phone buzzed again, and you looked at your screen to see a tabloid link in the team’s group chat.

Shellhead: Thor. Y/N. Do I need to be worried?       Nat: Are you guys ok??       Shellhead: I thought you were taking her to lunch Thor, not notifying the world you were expecting children.        Jolly Green: Bringing anything back?        Nat: They’re allowed to, Tony.        Petah: Bring leftovers!!! I’ve been here training with Mr. Stark all day Dx       Y/N: We are okay… Leaving out now.       Nat: They’re a lot huh? I hated going out for a long time because of the photos.       Jolly Green: I thought you stayed out of sight out of habit… Once a spy, always a spy.        Nat: Shaddup Bruce.         Petah: 007 connections...         Shellhead: What?

            You snorted and put your phone away. The conversations were going to just repeat themselves once you got back to Stark Tower. You looked over to Thor and smiled softly as he glanced over a moment, noticing you.

            “Are you okay with this?” He asked gently, his fingers finding yours and lacing together with a soft squeeze. You nodded and smiled, your stomach flipping a bit thinking about now having to formally make some kind of post on your Instagram or something. Thor had one as well, but never could figure it out.

            “I think this is good… You can’t just have a secret family forever.” You teased and he squeezed your hand again. He chuckled and agreed smiling at you lovingly before keeping his eyes on the road as the car merged on the highway and headed home. You watched the scenery breeze past you and tried to imagine having two small children in the tower this time next year…

The fact that this time next year, your whole life is going to be so different…

            Getting back into Stark Tower was slightly a mess. There were a good number of paparazzi huddled around the front of the building, but only a few knew of the obscured entrance to the garage a block away.

            Thor groaned softly when he pulled up to the opening of the garage and saw three persistent men holding cameras and ready to ask questions the moment the vehicle slowed. The security system to the entrance refused to open due to the man who came up to your side window and started knocking persistently, attempting to convince you to roll your window down.

            “Thor! Are you really going to be a father? Who’s the mystery woman??” They pressed and tried to record your face as you ducked down and thanked god the windows had dark tint. Thor growled low in his throat and revved the engine a bit, inching closer to the entrance and triggered the door to open this time, before quickly and carefully zipping into the garage. Unfortunately, neither of you noticed the small figure that was able to roll under the closing door and hide in the shadows of another vehicle.

            “I’m sorry petal, I don’t know what’s gotten into me…” He murmured and cleared his throat. You felt your heart flutter a bit realizing that he was being overprotective with the person at your window. “I don’t like them swarming you. This is not the life you chose.”

            “It’s not yours either.” You murmured softly and kissed his cheek. “I chose you. My heart chose you. Whatever else comes, I’ll put up with it.” You smiled at the big blonde lug. He continually forgot that this wasn’t the life he wanted either, being so far away from home, losing his home completely… If he could adjust, CLEARLY you could too.

            You tried to slip from your seat and Thor rushed out the car to catch your door before stopping and staring down at you in the quiet space. “I love you Y/N… Thank you for finding me…” he murmured softly and kissed you deeply, hands pulling you close and gripping your hips.

            It amazed you. After all the time you have been with this man, kissing him still made your head go fuzzy and your stomach flutter when he looked at you. Those pure bright blue eyes looked at you like you were the most precious thing in the world. You bit your lip before kissing him again and hugging into his chest, just enjoying a moment together.

            “Hey!” You both jumped as a voice echoed loudly from the door to the tower. Peter stood in the doorway excited, “Sorry- did you guys need help? Oh! And did you get leftovers??” He asked excitedly as he started heading to you both, parked just a few cars from the door.

            “We could use your help.” You teased, “But don’t worry- we got leftovers. So many leftovers…” You opened the back door to the big white bags filled with takeout boxes.

            Peter grinned and started to help grabbing bags and shopping things. He was about to turn back in the tower while he asked how your trip went and froze.

            “Hold on… Something isn’t right…” He murmured, his head turning towards the dark corner of the garage. Peter’s Spidey senses still wigged you out a bit to see in person, but your heart raced more for the fact that you had no idea what Peter heard.

            He carefully and quietly put down the bags in front of you and turned to the corner completely, crouching as he neared the older car stored in the corner closest to the entrance. Before you knew it, Peter moved fast, scuffling with someone before a heavy thud was heard as someone hit the side of the car. Thor ran over and helped, and as fast as the whole altercation started, it was over. Thor pulled a very dusty reporter from the corner, hand gripping the collar of his coat.

            “He was taking pictures,” Peter said huffing and picking up a camera, “You want me to delete them?

            “H-hey! You guys don’t have to do that- I-I’m sorry!” The guy apologized, squinting as if he expected to be hit for speaking up. Peter looked up at him and you saw the tick in his jaw that only showed when he was angry.

“They didn’t consent and you’re trespassing.” Peter said coolly, “The photos you have are of a private moment. Just because she’s with him doesn’t mean they lose that.”

Your heart thudded in your chest as Peter waited for the reporter to relent. You hadn’t realized you were holding your breath until the man nodded and Peter deleted the images before reaching to hand the camera back to its owner. Just as the camera was about to grace the fingers of the reporter, the man murmured something cruel under his breath to himself. You barely caught the tail end of something pertaining your size as Thor’s head snapped to lock in on the reporter’s eyes. There was an energy that radiated from Peter that you had never seen in person. The same muscle ticked on his jaw as he ground his teeth and took a deep breath. The man panicked as his eyes flit between the two men’s cold stares while Peter stepped closer to him.

Peter never broke eye contact as he held his hand out for the man to take his camera before the crack of the expensive lens echoed across the dark garage. The man flinched as the silent teen reached his hand out and dropped the now crushed equipment in the reporter’s hand. He leaned in and you held your breath praying no one lashed out, “If you’d like that to not extend to other parts of your career, never show your face around Stark Tower again.” He spoke softly, his eyes cold and promising nothing kind.

A wave of protectiveness radiated from both men that made your eyes water as Thor gruffly directed the shaken gentleman to the foot entry access on the other side of the garage. Peter turned to you and immediately his face softened into one of concern as you hiccupped and allowed the tears that were battling to fall.

“Y/N! What’s wrong??” He worried and checked over your face panicked as Thor hurried back over to the pair of you once the intruder was successfully locked out. You shook your head and offered them both a watery smile.

“I’m okay, you just- thank you.” You broke down and hugged Peter tightly, “Thank you for defending me.” He seemed too lax under your grip and hugged you back tightly.

“Of course! We’re family, no one gets to speak to you that way.” He said sternly and Thor chuckled.

“You are quite the protective little brother Spider Lad.” Thor clapped Peter on the shoulder and all three of you redirected your attention to carrying in your loot from earlier. As you wiped your tears from your now puffy cheeks, both men refused to let you pick up more than your small bag of books before being ushered back into the private access hall.

Within a few minutes, Peter was doing a happy wiggle, arms laden with white bags, as the three of you rode the elevator up to the commons shared with the team. Thor shifted his bags and took your hand before walking you to the shining kitchen to look over your baby loot once again. Natasha fawned over the small onesies before comparing a small sock to her own finger.

“We are going to need a nursery around here soon…” She murmured, “Any ideas you guys have come up with?” she inquired curiously while arching a brow. You hadn’t even considered preparing for the twins at the tower- or anywhere else for that matter. You chewed your lip worried a bit,

“I honestly hadn’t considered that yet… Eeek- We have to babyproof Tony and Bruce’s labs…” you worried quietly, Thor stopped chuckling at Peter’s excitement over the layout of foods and froze., “I wonder if Tony has anything in the works yet, I’m sure he does.” You continued.

“No- no we have not considered that.” He murmured, turning to look for Tony, “Where is Stark???” He inquired before heading to the small lab in the commons.

Natasha quietly picked up a piece of a cinnamon roll before sheepishly murmuring, “Oops,” and popping the bite in her mouth.

[thesummerstorms]

I honestly don't know nearly enough about Wonder Woman for the idea of a PJO crossover. BUT my rough starting place is very much coming from the assumption that Diana actually doesn't know shit about the demigods. She doesn't have reason to need the Camps, as an immortal Amazon, and the protection of her presence extends to her sidekicks.

And I think the actual DC Olympians are more involved with the heroes, but if we carry over than "man's world" idea into PJO where there's tension between the existence of the mortal & mythic worlds, then I totally buy the Gods actively hiding everything from her.

Like, Zeus is totally willing to bask in Diana's reflected kleos, because if she's his daughter (which apparently New 52 says yes? Idk if that's still true) that glory reflects back on him. AND it's very useful to have a daughter in a position of power amongst the mortal heroes, because the ancient laws limit what he can and can't do directly.

But Diana is also powerful. Among the humans, that's an asset, but if she was given too much access to the mythic world (say, a camp of Demigods) that could become a threat. Diana has more moral backbone than any of the Olympians, and might actually be able to stand up and do something about it. Especially once Donna and Cassie are also following her.

So there's a very, very concentrated effort to wrap her in the Mist and also keep her from ever discovering CHB or Camp Jupiter. The Gods generally agree with the plan, and Hippolyta has been warned not to tell "for Diana's safety". This, again, spreads over to Donna and Cassie, and none of them ever suspect that there's an aspect of the Mythic world beyond their occasional monsters that are strong enough to approach them or interactions with the Gods.

...that is, until Hecate defects during the Titan War.

Not that the Titans actually want Diana involved, mind you, or are actually trying to reveal the war to her. She's not going to take their side. But it fractures the Olympian's control enough for things to start slipping through. She starts seeing things she couldn't before and realizing they've always existed

And then I think maybe Tethys, who as a Titaness isn't bound to any promise to Zeus, and who is somewhat sympathetic despite being nominally on Kronos's side, reveals that the Gods have many children and those children are currently embroiled in a war. Tethys does not give specific details about the children, so Diana assumes they are like her and feels somewhat lonely/hurt.

There isn't enough time for her to take action before Typhoon and then Manhattan. She isn't there for Manhattan... but three days later when the Justice League shows up to investigate and help with the clean up, she is able to see what Clark and Bruce can't. Specifically, I'm thinking of the United Nations building where Kronos's army strung "trophies" from the defeated Campers up on flag poles. Most of the armor is not adult sized.

She doesn't know exactly what happened, and Zeus told her she was forbidden from asking, but it's enough to crack the layer of Mist that has been woven around her. She starts seeing what every demigod sees, and the shock is messing with her. The other heroes in the League get worried. And again, because the magic had been focused on Diana as a center point, the effect spread to Cassie and Donna, too. Everyone is freaking out.

When Gaia begins rising, Diana is able to see the signs, and she demands that Zeus let her help. She's on very, very, very thin ice for a moment there- he considers zapping her before she's a threat- nut ultimately he decides to be shrewd. He will fully lift the veil from her eyes and allow her to help in certain battlefields, but only if she swears an Oath on the Styx to keep it a secret from the League AND to stay away from certain battlefields he sees unfit.

She swears. Donna and Cassie swear. And then they find out that the demigods that Diana felt jealous of/isolated by are actually just children dying in their parents' battle fields.

The information hits like a sucker punch from a Kryptonian, but whoops, too late, they already swore. AND now Zeus is withdrawing and closing Olympus, so they can't even beg him for new orders.

They try to play off what's happening to the Justice League for a while, but when Cassie is killed during a fight and comes back to life (due to Thanatos being captured in Son of Neptune) they can't manage it any more. They withdraw completely from the League for the next two months or so, fighting what enemies they can without interfering in the prophecy or breaking their oath, sometimes protecting the young demigods who aren't making it to Camp Half Blood because of Gaia or because their satyrs were killed.

It is a very long, hard two months, trying to cut down Gaia's forces without revealing themselves and not being able to say anything to or help the children.

By the end of it, none of them really know who they are any more and it's very, very noticeable when they do go back to their respective teams or friends. Clark is worried, Bruce is catastrophizing about the end of the world, Kon and Tim don't understand why Cassie won't tell them what happens until she has a full break down and still doesn't say, Donna begins bullishly trying to force Dick Grayson to guess at what she can't tell him.

She looks at him with as much force as she can manage, and says "It's not that I won't tell you what happened, it's that I cannot", trying to get him to pick up on the unspoken undertones.

(He was raised by Bruce. He does pick up on the message, but he just doesn't know what to do with that information.)

This is all part of my Annabeth Wayne AU, so I think she also keeps trying to find ways to force him and the Titans (the super heroes) to go to New York. Mostly in the hopes that she can find a way to "accidentally" give them evidence of what happened. "Accidentally" helping them find a memorial/shrine in Manhattan, etc.

But also because she has finally put together the connection between Annabeth Chase and Dick Grayson's missing little sister, and she wouldn't be able to live with herself if she hid the fact that his sister was alive.

Luckily for her, in my Annabeth Wayne AU, Annabeth comes to Gotham for closure 3-5 months after the Battle of Half-Blood Hill and accidentally reveals herself. Bernard Dowd and Percy Jackson then do the actual "Revealing" leaving Annabeth and Donna finally free to speak about the shit they've experience.

Again, no one is happy, and both the DC and the PJO characters are more traumatized from living in a crossover verse. But it is the start of a chance for things to get better. And at least Annabeth gets her family back.

[mister-tom-a-dildo-lover]

Someone Liked this old post of mine and brought to mind something...

[The Post] was about how Tom Riddle was literally fucked over from the start and how nobody actually decided to try and teach him to be better.

Anyway, a common, defensive response on this post was the recurring, "Why is it Dumbledore's job to intervene?" along with a laundry list of excuses for why he shouldn't be held accountable for what happened to Tom, Severus, and Harry. etc etc...

Mind you, Dumbledore felt it was his right to intervene. To scare a 10 y/o into behaving by setting his only worldly possessions on fire in front of him as a lesson. He admits to this very tactic when Tom tries to apply for the DADA position for a second time. So why the hell aren't we allowed to criticize him for knowing full-well this kid was fucked up and doing nothing about it?

Many people, by making the claim that it isn't the Deputy Headmaster's job to watch out for the well-being of his students, sound like they are saying that they would never step in if they saw a child they aren't related to, at risk of harming themselves or others, because they don't think it's their job or duty to do so.

"Well, I saw the boy carrying a gun to school but as he's not my kid why should I have said something?" IDK, Karen, maybe because he could harm other people and it would be in yours and everyone else's best interest to put a stop to it before it gets bad and then GETS WORSE. This is a matter of common sense and common decency. Normal people would be worried about some kid being a potential danger to others and would say something or try to raise a red flag as a warning to others instead of holding their opinions in and plotting behind the scenes.

I don't understand how this is considered unfair of me to expect that a guy would do right not only by the kid himself, but by the students he's about to be exposed to. He believed, in his heart of hearts, that this kid is a psychopath after one conversation in which he got a woman shitfaced to hear her biased opinions, and then one conversation where he talked to him and decided speaking to snakes was the ultimate sign of evil.

Dumbledore just kept this shit to himself. And guess what? He does this over and over. Potential terrorist in the school who could hurt the children(Quirrelmort, Lockhart)? Nah, fam. Keep it close to the chest. Dangerous information that people NEED to know for their own safety? Nah, fam. Keep it close to the chest. Children being abused and need saving? Nah, fam. Keep it close to the chest.

And the results are: an up-and-coming Dark Lord, up-and-coming Death Eater(s?), deaths/tortures of people barely out of their teenhood, more abused children, and many other problematic things all because he won't share what he knows or believes.

BUT NOOOOOOO! I'm the bad guy because I think a teacher who inserts himself into everyone's business so they all look to him for permission and guidance, should have actually done something to help the troubled child he was in charge of for 10 months out of the year for 7 years.

[keithisbae1]

You Won't Remember Me - Part 2

CW: Angst!!

For as long as she could remember Sarada had no memory of her mother, her Papa always talked about her with great pride and love. She loved hearing stories about her, about them. Even when she found out that Mama was a human, Sarada asked and questioned Sasuke on how that was possible because everyone knew that humans and vampires were enemies. Her Papa chuckled and explained that he couldn’t help but fall for her, it probably also explained about Sarada herself. Unlike her father, Sarada wasn’t satisfied after drinking blood. She needed solid food so she would eat like a human. She favoured a lot of her Mama’s food according to Papa. And it hurt knowing she could never meet her. It was unfair, why did everyone else get to have one but her? Papa blamed himself since humans and vampires were never meant for one another so this was his punishment but Sarada didn’t get it. She couldn’t help but feel slightly envious as she would watch Boruto cry to his mother when he got hurt and how she would comfort him. Telling him he was such a brave boy and pampering him with kisses, even if he would pout saying he was ‘no baby’ and that she was embarrassing him. Or watching other human children being out with their Mama in the park, asking for ice cream, carrying them when they would get sleepy and watching as they would be picked up one by one to go home. 

Sarada’s small hand would grip onto his trousers, and he could sense she was upset. He picked up his daughter, allowing her to bury her head into his neck, letting out silent tears until she got tired and fell asleep. 

Even though her Papa had warned her to stay away from Mama, Sarada disobeyed and crept out during the day to look for her. Since she had been spying on her for a while, she had an idea of where to search first. Her mother worked in a big lab (hospital) and would often head back home at funny times. Well for a human that is, it’s no wonder how Papa met her if she always left at night. She waited and was surprised to see her leave the place early, along with a darker blonde woman next to her. “Mama!” Sarada sprang out grinning happily. 

“Oh, you again? Where’s your father?” Sakura picked up the little girl who was more than happy to be held by her mother. “You know her dear?” The other woman gave a weary look, which she didn’t quite get. It was normal for a mother to hold her daughter and this was the first time Sarada had been held by her. “I bumped into her a few weeks ago, she keeps calling me ‘Mama.’ I guess we look alike.” Again, with such strange words, Sarada didn’t understand. Why couldn’t she recognise her own daughter? She had tried to ask Sasuke, but he wouldn’t say anything. “Do you know where your Papa is?” Sakura asks smiling at the little girl. “Papa said I wasn’t allowed to see you.” There was an awkward silence with neither knowing how to respond until Sakura gave an awkward laugh. 

“Oh, is that so. I’m sure he’s only concerned about your safety.” Now the only difficulty would be how and where to find him. Surely, he couldn’t be too far, she was too young to be walking about by herself like this. “I’ll take her.” The other woman responded. “Eh?” 

“I’ll take her home, he’s probably worried sick about her. And I can see the look on your face, you need to go home and rest.” “But-” “Besides, you shouldn’t be doing anything in your condition.” At that Sakura closed her mouth, it was true she couldn’t do anything too strenuous or stress herself out. Still, something about her seemed familiar. Like a parental instinct, or maybe she was just worried for her. “I want to stay with Mama.” Sarada’s small hand gripped her shirt, again why did everyone want to separate them. All she wanted was to have her own Mama. “Ah, I’m sorry dear but she needs to rest. She’s very sick you see.” “Mama’s sick?” Sarada turned her head to Sakura studying the woman. Was this why she didn’t remember her? “Yes, don’t worry. She just needs some rest and besides I’m sure your father must be worried.” “Okay…” If it can’t be helped then she’ll go back home with Papa. Sakura almost felt guilty having to let her go but knew it was best to let her mother take care of her. The little girl seemed upset and concerned but Sakura patted her head smiling reassuringly. “Thank you Ma and I’m sorry, but she’ll take good care of you.” As Sakura walked away Mebuki let out a soft smile. “You really are like your own Mama, aren’t you?” 

~~~

Mebuki waited by the park at night, she had managed to track down Sasuke which wasn’t as difficult seeing as he was out looking for her but had requested to meet up privately so they could have a talk. The street light flickered and Sasuke was beside her in a flash. 

“Thank you for taking care of Sarada for me.” “You don’t need to thank me, dear. She’s my granddaughter. Of course, I would take care of her.” “How is she anyway?” Sasuke sighed, figuring he should be honest. “Upset, confused. She got really excited knowing Sakura is alive but…she doesn’t understand why she can’t be with her.” “I’m sure she is,” Mebuki felt horrible about taking her away from Sakura. Parents and children weren’t meant to be apart, but they didn’t have a choice. If they could both she and Kizashi would gladly help look after Sarada however that would have only made things more complicated. “Have you met anyone?” The random question took him off guard. “Anyone new I mean, a new lover? “You know it’s not as simple as that.” Vampires don’t simply find someone else the way humans do. After meeting someone, that’s it. They were their one and only. Their soulmate, their other half. There was no one else. “Right, I’m sorry.” “Sasuke… there’s something you should know. About Sakura.” 

“What is it? Is she okay?” Always worried about her, even though they weren’t in each other’s life the two could tell Sasuke would still keep tabs on them. And that’s what made sharing the news even more difficult. 

“She’s fine, more than fine but… she’s pregnant.” The words slowly sank in, and Sasuke felt himself heartbroken all over again. “I see...” “I’m sorry, we wanted to tell you sooner. But it’s not like you make it easy for us to find you and well with Sarada acting the way she does, I think it’ll break her heart witnessing Sakura be a mother to someone else.” She was too young to fully grasp what was going on, to find out the truth. And this was only going to make things more difficult. 

“That’s why I asked you about if you had anyone else, I mean it’s been so long now and well Sakura doesn’t even remember you. It’s just… you deserve to find happiness too. For you and Sarada.” “No, I knew what I was getting myself into. I won’t find someone just because Sakura has. I can’t do that.” “I understand please don’t shut that idea down. I know Sakura would want you to be happy too, to find someone else that could make you happy as she did.” He let out an uncharacteristic snort.

“That’s impossible… but if it makes you feel better. If I do find someone else… I’ll give it a shot.” Not that it’ll be easy. “And besides, I still…” The words were lumped in the back of his throat. “You still love her?”

“Ah.” It wasn’t like they chose to break up, they didn’t have a choice. They were looking forward to being a family however Sasuke had to make a choice. Losing Sakura or her memories, memories of them, of Sarada. 

As his family had warned him, the two were never meant to be and yet Sarada was here. “Thank you for telling me, I appreciate it.” He bowed and was about to leave. Even if there was someone else, if she was happy then that’s all that mattered.

However, he couldn’t just let her go. “Sasuke, I really am sorry.” He probably didn’t hear those words or maybe he did. She could only imagine what was to come now with Sarada.

[librosamarillos]

passed down like folk songs

chapter 30: fantasies

Maegor Targaryen x OC

Also on Ao3

chapter index

Tags: hurt/comfort, friends to lovers, angst, mature themes, targaryen incest, violence, Maegor is a red flag himself, characters are ooc probably, MINORS DNI

this chapter contains nsfw content

Ceryse stared at Martyn, thinking over what he had just told her carefully. She had been chatting with Morgan in her room when their eldest brother walked in, holding a raven scroll from Oldtown. Her father had been filled in with everything that had been happening and with the tensions and uprisings that kept popping up, he had told all three of his children to return to the safety of their home. 

She missed her father dearly. She missed her home, her handmaidens, her goodsister, her nephew, her family all in one place. She considered it. At first she had refused to leave out of stubborn pride, refusing to let Maegor’s stupidity rob her of her place in the King’s court, but now that things grew more tense, she wasn’t so sure that King’s Landing was the safest place she could be. 

“What are you thinking of, Ceryse?” Morgan asked, as he grew uncomfortable with the long silence. She looked at him, then back at the raven scroll in her hands. Her father’s careful and proper, unmistakable handwriting. She let her finger trace the paper, her eyes pensive. 

“I don’t know.” she admitted. Her brothers both nodded, having a similar train of thought. On one hand, she could tell her goodbrother that she missed her family and only wished to visit them for a while, but on the other, her presence in court could be crucial at times like these. She was the link to Oldtown, a link her goodbrother needed, and it could do wonders for their house. Was that not her purpose here, her betrothal and marriage to that dumbass? Why should his recklessness rob her and her house of the prestige they could earn with the crown? Why should she abandon ship? While things were dangerous, it wasn’t like the city was under siege, the Targaryens still had dragons, it would be fine.

“You don’t have to decide right away-”

“I’m staying.” she cut Martyn off before he could finish his sentence. “Things are not that dangerous here and the King will need someone from Oldtown by his side.” she explained to her two perplexed brothers. Martyn gave her an understanding nod, but Morgan was not so easily swayed.

“Are you sure about this? Remember that Martyn has to return home soon and while I’ll be by your side, we’re both away from home and our banners.” he countered. Her little brother was always more keen on fighting and strategy. She used to roll her eyes at him, but now she found that he was smart to think of the worst that could happen.

“I don’t think it’ll come to that.” she replied. “Rowan’s been back to the dowager Queen’s service, and she tells me that there’s no reason for worry over our safety. She will not hesitate to use Vhagar to protect the Red Keep.” she said. It would look quite funny, would it not? Visenya, on her giant dragon, protecting the nephew she despises and the gooddaughter she cannot stand, both in the half finished castle that was their home. Funny may not exactly be the right word for it.

“She’s back in her service? Why?” Morgan asked a little too quickly, making Martyn’s usual stoic facade crack into an amused smile. The more time Rowan spent with the three Hightowers, the more… interested, he grew. Ceryse didn’t mind it, it would be nice for Rowan to join their family, despite it meaning that she’d move to Oldtown. She’d have an even bigger excuse to return home to see her.

“I’m assuming because that’s her job here.” Martyn said, raising his eyebrow, while he and Ceryse shared an amused look. Morgan looked like he finally understood what he sounded like and quickly shook his head.

“I’m only concerned for her, are you two not? She is working for the woman who actively allowed her son to betray you, Ceryse! The gods only know what she could be making her do in her name, and how could she refuse?” he asked, annoyed at how calm his siblings were. Ceryse frowned, crossing her arms, scroll still in hand. 

She was worried about Rowan, if she was truly honest. She saw her friend fall into a sorrow she hadn’t seen before, despite how much Rowan tried to hide it, her eyes were unable to lie, they always betrayed her. Whatever task she was given by the King and the former Queen, it seemed to do nothing to lift her mood. The only thing that made her genuinely smile was the letter that Lana sent from Highgarden, announcing her arrival to the capital soon, as her father had been requested to join the King’s small council. 

“She wouldn’t do that.” Ceryse said, after some thought. “Rowan is the only daughter of her most trusted advisor. She wouldn’t do anything to drive him away, not when she’s facing pushback and needs allies.” she explained further. Morgan looked away for a moment, trying to find any hole in her explanation, but Martyn beat him to it.

“Lord Evergreen is a dear friend of our father, Morgan. He is an ally of Oldtown, our houses have been joint many times, both in common cause and in marriage. He will not choose the will of the dowager Queen over the wellbeing of Oldtown and our faith.” Martyn added to Ceryse’s point. It felt like when they were children and they had to help their little brother catch up. He used to hate it, and even now, she could swear she could see him pouting slightly. 

“If you’re this concerned, perhaps you could go speak to her. She could be happy to have a strong knight offering his protection.” she laughed, causing Morgan to blush and frown. Even Martyn was laughing, but before the youngest brother could hurl insults at them, the door knocked rather loudly.

The three Hightower siblings were surprised to see the King, alongside his new hand, Murmison, enter the spacious chambers. Ceryse felt embarrassed, as she was dressed in her nightgown, thankfully in her modest robe covering it all, but it still felt strange to be seen by anyone else like this. The two brothers bowed and she curtsied, confusion on all three of their faces, but before they could exchange pleasantries, Aenys spoke up.

“I’m sorry to bother you this late, goodsister, but this simply could not wait.” he said, almost excitedly, gesturing to the man next to him. “You remember septon Murmison, right? Remember how I told you he could help you? Well, it can start tonight!” he said, clapping his hands, decorated by so many rings that she could not count. Her brothers eyed the man carefully, Martyn thinking his words carefully before speaking up.

“Your grace, my sister is young and healthy, why would this be needed? Just because the Prince of Dragonstone was so impatient does not place any blame onto her.” he said. The calm yet firm tone of his voice allowed Ceryse to let out a silent sigh of relief. She was so glad he was still there, still at her defence during all of this madness.

“My lord, it is only to help the situation.” the King explained, his smile not faltering. Did her goodbrother truly not understand how insane this was? She knew the Targaryens only converted to the faith as lip service, but was he truly this blind? Did he think that all the faithful believed in this man’s so-called miracles?

“Many have doubts, my lord, I do not blame you. It is a strange and rather unorthodox method, but the gods have blessed me with this gift to heal, and if you let me share it with your sister, I am certain it will help her situation greatly.” Murmison spoke up. She looked at the man, this septon. He was not as old and grey as her uncle, but his brown hair was mostly taken over by the grey. She wanted to roll her eyes. Help. As if.

“And how will you share this gift, septon? By touching my sister?” Morgan’s voice startled both the septon and the King. In fact, Aenys looked mortified at the very blatant implications Morgan had thrown in his face. Had it been anyone else, had it been his father or brother, they’d take his tongue out right there and then. But Aenys did not have the time for a reaction, as Murmison spoke again.

“No touch is necessary, my lord, no need for alarm. Only lightly so, over the lady’s womb, while the prayers are chanted.” he explained, as if it was so normal. Ceryse noticed that all four men were looking at her, and what choice did she truly have but to nod. 

She felt uneasy, being stared at by the King himself, as she was instructed to lay on her bed while this man traced circles in the air, right above her womb, chanting prayers to the mother, asking her to heal her wounded womb. She wanted to pull on the septon’s beard, to yell at him that her womb was just fine. The maesters found nothing wrong with her, the archmaester himself took to check her health. While the septon prayed to the mother for fertility, Ceryse prayed to the mother for patience and strength. It felt so humiliating, but the one saving grace was the fact that her brothers were there, eyeing the two men carefully, Morgan almost looking for an excuse to lunge at the bearded septon.

“So, for how long will this have to happen?” Ceryse asked, when the septon finished his so-called treatment of her infertility. If she had to endure this, she refused to be alone. She’d have her brothers by her side, she felt safe with them.

“Yes, our… goodbrother will not return for five more years, and even when he does, will she have to welcome him in her bed as if he didn’t commit treason and betray her? Are you going to be doing this to her for five years?” Morgan asked, his tone starting out calm, trying to imitate their eldest brother, but in the end it came out more accusatory. The King looked uneasy at the question, nervously looking at his hand to answer first. Gods, this was frustrating beyond words.

“I will feel it when it has worked, my lord.” Murmison replied, and Ceryse decided she hated his voice. She sat up and crossed her arms, biting her lip so that she wouldn’t say something snarky and inappropriate in front of a septon and the King.

“Ah, I see.” Martyn said, crossing his arms as well. The septon seemed to feel the glare of the three Hightower siblings and it made him slightly nervous. Perhaps he remembered their maternal uncle was the High septon, the man that could denounce him if they urged him to, and she was absolutely writing to him about all this. He put his hands up, as if calming down some frightened children, which made her frown even more.

“It will not take five years, my lady, do not fret.” he smiled an uneasy smile, one that solidified that this man had no idea what he was doing. Why in the seven hells would she fret when there was nothing wrong with her? 

“How wonderful!” Aenys smiled, clasping his hands together happily. Ceryse pitied him. He missed his brother, no matter how big of an asshole he was, and he was trying to bait him into coming back and setting this new woman aside. Did he think that Ceryse would welcome Maegor back with open arms? Did he think the faith would just overlook the huge slight and transgression against them? Did he not think this through at all?

It became a regular occurrence, twice a week, Murmison would come, perform his little miracle, offer her empty words and promises of progress and repeat. Sometimes both her brothers were there, sometimes Rowan joined them, sometimes it was just Rowan, soon Lana returned and joined in, sometimes both her brothers and friends would be staring daggers at the back of the septon’s head. It made Ceryse smile, even laugh.

She’d be lying if she said she didn’t still yearn for a child of her own. Sure, it would be half of Maegor, but she would be the babe’s mother. She would help raise a human, another person, a prince or princess. Part of her was glad that she didn’t bring an innocent child into this insane family, but part of her still mourned. Even if Maegor returned to her, she doubted she’d ever let him back into her bed, let alone give him a child. For all she knew, he’d already been trying to get this Alys pregnant, and she was sure they’d get news of an upcoming pregnancy soon.

She tried to not think too much about it all, focusing instead on Lana’s return to court and the new gossip she brought back from Highgarden. She noticed that Rowan appeared more distant, and as curious as she was, she knew she could not ask her about what was going on. She worked for both the King and the dowager Queen, surely her head would be on a spike if she revealed the wrong thing to the wrong person. Ceryse settled for squeezing her hand reassuringly, which Rowan seemed to appreciate dearly. 

She kept telling herself that things would be well. Better, even. 

Maegor’s routine had been getting better. Instead of wallowing in his room all day long, he had hired some sellswords to train with. He found that a lot of his emotions were easier to handle after spending the whole day fighting, taking out all his aggression. He was angry at everything, noticing himself becoming more violent by the day, wondering what he’d even be like in five years after returning to Westeros.

It wasn’t all anger though. He carried a lot of shame on his shoulders, a shame that he couldn’t shake off no matter how many hours he spent in the training yard. His mother had written him back swiftly, keeping him updated on the happenings in court. She had mentioned that Aenys appointed some lunatic to replace him and that he was apparently going to ‘cure’ Ceryse with some miracle. Maegor wasn’t sure whether to laugh or be disappointed at his brother for doing this, but he currently had no say in things. He trusted that his mother was there to prevent any huge disaster, as much as the thought frustrated him. She should be enjoying her years in peace, relaxing after all her hard work, but with a King like Aenys, she simply could not afford to do so. But none of these facts were the cause of his shame, no.

It was what his mother cryptically included at the end of the letter, hidden in such a way that wouldn’t raise suspicion had someone else read the letter. Between the lines she had told him that she gave Rowan his letter to keep and that he should be very careful with writing anything about his feelings, should the letter fall into the wrong hands. She also wrote that Rowan’s father, Duncan, couldn’t stay any longer and had to return to Starfall to continue the family business. Thinking of his beloved and her father brought him such shame that he didn’t know what to do with it.

It warmed his heart to know that Rowan had his letter, he wished to write her a thousand more, despite how impossible and dangerous it would be to even attempt it, but it also made him so incredibly sad, ashamed even, because that was all he could offer her, a small paragraph in a letter. Nothing like what he truly wanted to give her, his eyes darting back to the oils and fabric and gold that he got with her in mind, but for now, little words of love was all he could send her. 

Then there was Duncan. The man he had known since he was a babe, as one of his mother’s most trusted companions, and even her friend. He was always wary of anyone that wasn’t his mother. As a Prince, let alone a dragon, he knew from an early age that people wanted to get as close as possible, sending their sons to be his companions and squires, but Maegor saw right through it and had no tolerance for it. Seeing as his father was never around, many lords tried to become father figures, at least before Maegor was old enough to yell at them and threaten their lives. And amongst all who came and went through the years, there was Duncan Evergreen. 

It used to absolutely infuriate him how patient of a man Duncan was. No matter how much he yelled and kicked and screamed at him, Duncan still returned for half the year, never losing his patience and his kind tone. He was truly a terror of a child, as his mother often joked. He looked back at his childhood with a lot of anger and a lot of shame. Anger at his father for everything, but shame at himself for not leaning more onto Duncan. He was the one who was there for him consistently, and yet he still didn’t let him get close. It was no wonder he was so hesitant to let him meet Rowan at all.

He had a lot to thank Duncan Evergreen for. He would change so much, looking back with the eyes of an adult and seeing all he couldn’t see as a child. Well, rather, he refused to see, as he still clung onto the hope that his father would somehow return to Dragonstone and tell him he was proud of him and that he loved him and the fact that he was never there for him growing up was just a crazy misunderstanding, despite the very real fact that he had  abandoned him to be with his preferred and favourite family. What a horrible thing this notalgia was. Still, to this day, he still hoped that some part of his father’s heart had him in it.

While his father was off living the life of his dreams in King’s Landing, it was Duncan who was there, cheering him on while he trained and taking care of him when he had scrapes and bruises. He wished he could go back and thank him instead of glaring at him warily. All of these things seemed so small, yet they were the things that stuck with him the most. 

Of course, he could never thank him enough for bringing his daughter to Dragonstone. How could he know then that that action alone would change his life for the better. He couldn’t imagine a life without her in it, and yet here he was, without her. He had hurt his sweet girl so much. He felt so weak, so ashamed, for being unable to control the one decision that could’ve made his life paradise. He hated himself for being weak, for not fighting his father over it, for being stupid and naive enough to believe in his empty words that night.

He had spent the whole day training, having hired twenty men to take turns to fight with him. Now he was laying on his bed, having bathed and cleaned off all the filth of the day, and he was pondering on what to do. It was technically time for supper soon, but Maegor wasn't hungry at all. He stared off into the dimly lit room, considering calling it an early night so he’d have more energy to train in the morning. He had become so eager to sleep more these days, as when he closed his eyes, he could see his Rowan next to him, a sweet illusion to heal any negative feeling that he had. He’d talk to her in his mind, and he could imagine her sweet voice replying in his ear. He told her he missed her, that he was sorry, that he longed for her, so many things he wished he could tell her in truth.

His sentimentality was interrupted with a knock on his door. He was immediately annoyed, as he had already told the maids to not bring him any dinner.

“What is it?” he asked loudly, not even bothering to get up to open the door, instead eager to return to his beloved in his dream. Perhaps he should’ve been more clear with the staff, that he would not like to be bothered unless the very building was burning down, but he hadn’t, having his Rowan in mind, who would be disappointed in him if he did so.

“It is I, husband. I wish to speak with you, if you have the time.” he heard the familiar voice of Alys say through the door. That took him by surprise. He thought he made it obvious that she was to leave him alone, but perhaps this was some sort of emergency, or even something of importance. He hoped she wouldn’t try to drag him outside again to try and get him to go to some tavern she discovered in her ventures. He sighed and gave her the permission to enter, which she eagerly did. 

“What is it, Alys? I thought you still had enough gold for the month.” he said, annoyed, but Alys did not seem at all offended by his jab. He took a moment to study her. She wore a very revealing nightgown, one that she no doubt had made for her here, and Maegor began to understand where she wanted to stir the conversation.

“It’s not the gold, you give me more than enough, for which I’m very grateful for. I only wanted to talk to you about my part of the deal.” she said, her tone carefree and casual. Maegor looked at her, his eyes not revealing any of his inner thoughts. In truth, he could not even think of coupling at all in, gods, how long had it been? “I understand you’re a very busy man, I only wish to know how to best please you.” she elaborated, making sure to pull her hair out of the way to better expose the revealing nightgown.

“How to best please me…” Maegor trailed, looking at her intently. He wanted to send her away, to tell her he had no mood for anything like that, but his brain knew he had to get an heir out of her. If he didn’t, then what was all this mess for? 

“I know men tend to have preferences and I want you to know that I’m eager to meet any of them that you might have.” she smiled, pleased that she managed to shift his expression to one of thought. Maegor looked at her carefully, a thought coming to him, one that should have him even more ashamed than he was before. What was the reason she had even caught his eye in the first place? 

“Come with me.” he said plainly, getting up to leave his chambers. Alys was baffled for a moment, as if she hadn’t expected her suggestion to have worked this quickly, but she followed him as he took a few things from his room. She soon realised he was leading her to her own room, but he didn’t say much else as to why. She’d understand soon.

He placed a few glass bottles, the oils and soaps, on the table and opened the wardrobe full of her dresses. She had certainly been having a lot of fun shopping, and he was sure she had more on the way from the seamstresses and tailors. As he scanned and rummaged through them all, he was happy to find what he was looking for. It was a lacy, green nightgown, nothing as elaborate as what she was currently wearing, but it didn’t matter. He turned back to her.

“I want you to call the maids to help you with these creams and oils.” he gestured at the bottles and her eyes followed his hand. “Then, change into this and come back to my chambers. And let your hair down.” he added finally, before turning to leave, not allowing any place for questions.

He looked around his chambers, putting out some more candles to make the room as dark as he’d like it, just enough to see her. He knew what he was doing, and any sane man would be ashamed, but Alys didn’t know and she was the one that asked him for his… preferences, so it wasn’t some heinous crime. It still filled him with guilt to do this, but he couldn’t afford to wait any longer. If he were to return to Westeros and take the crown and throne from his brother, he would need an heir, preferably two, even three. In order to get that, he would have to lay with Alys, so why not make it an experience he wouldn’t hate?

Soon, she walked through the door, wearing a long robe, perhaps for modesty, which was hilarious considering what she walked in wearing before, but he made no comment. Instead he sat down on the bed silently, as she walked toward him slowly, shedding off the long robe on the way. As soon as she did, the sweet scent of jasmine filled his nose. Yes, this could work just fine. She had curled her hair in a way that was close to what Rowan’s hair naturally looked like, and the maids had covered it in the oils, making the scent even more intense. 

She stopped right in front of him, in the green lace nightgown, a bit hesitant of what to do next, so she leaned in to kiss him. Maegor let her, but any hope to even come close to the feeling he was truly chasing vanished as she did. Her lips felt nothing like his darling’s did, and he soon pushed her back. For a moment they both just stared at each other, his mind trying to find a solution for this. He studied her face for a moment and made his decision. 

“Turn around.” he commanded, and as soon as she did, he sat back on the bed and pulled her to sit on him, facing completely away. He could feel she was confused, maybe even offended, but he didn’t care at all. 

For another moment he paused, looking at the woman before him. The few candles he had left on made it so that the candlelight gave the illusion that everything was warmer than it truly was, that her pale skin had more of a golden kiss to it, and that her curled brown hair looked to be the auburn he was hoping it would be. Yes, this was as close to perfect as it could be, given everything. He held her hips firmly, hesitating for a moment, before guiding her to grind on him, which she eagerly did.

As she began grinding, she slowly picked up her pace, feeling him harden in his breeches. Maegor let out only a few sighs, pleased with the outcome, with the illusion he had created. Through his half lidded eyes, he could so easily pretend that it was his Rowan he was holding and guiding on his crotch. He let himself relax, losing himself in that familiar, lovely jasmine, even reaching over to run his hand through her hair. It was almost scary how well this was working for him. If he tried hard enough, he could even imagine Rowan’s voice pleading with him to keep going, to keep teasing her more. 

Alys started letting out small moans of pleasure, enjoying the hot friction between them. He wasn’t sure if he just disliked it or hated it. Her voice was nothing like his darling’s, nothing at all. It wasn’t sweet and soft and kind, and every noise that came out of her mouth cracked the illusion he was trying to create. He wanted to tell her to be quiet, but chose against it, as he thought it would be awkward to have sex with someone in complete silence. He decided to put up with it. He could just try to ignore her voice.

He groped her ass, fantasising what it would truly feel like to touch his Rowan in such an intimate way. He spent years looking over at her like the biggest pervert, imagining what her body looked like beneath all those modest layers she wore, he spent so many nights stroking himself, wishing it was her gentle hand instead. He stopped her grinding hips, pausing for a moment to pull himself out of his breeches, letting out a sigh of relief. Alys looked back at him curiously, but turned back around when he shot her a warning glare.

He let out another sigh when he pulled up her nightgown, feeling her bare heat grinding on him once more. He could feel her wetness building up more and more and he could not make himself wait anymore. He pushed her off of his lap and onto the bed. She was on all fours, her face hidden away in the sheets. Maegor rubbed her ass a bit more, letting his mind run wild with fantasies, as he slowly pushed himself in. 

She let out a long moan, her hands gripping the sheets, and he gave her a moment to adjust to him. He’d never be this cold to his Rowan, no, never. He’d have her on the softest silk sheets, with the most comfortable pillows and he’d make her feel so comfortable and safe, taking her slowly and carefully, the way she deserved to be taken. He took hold of Alys’ hair, pretending once more. He wondered if his love would like it if he was a bit rough with her. He’d never assume, but what if she did? He pulled on her hair as she moaned in pleasure and he pretended it was Rowan moaning his name.

He began to thrust into her, experimenting with his pace until he was satisfied. He looked at Alys, satisfied that in this light, if he squinted, he could see his Rowan, or an image of her, a fake little dream to comfort himself with. He could never ask Ceryse to do this, she was smart, she’d figure it all out immediately. Besides, she was too much like Rowan to make the illusion comfortable. She was too close to her, too dear to her for this not to feel dirty and wrong. In many ways, he should be ashamed of this, how would he even confess this to his beloved? But the more he pounded into her, the more he pulled on her jasmine perfumed hair, the less everything else mattered. It was Rowan he was holding, his sweet beloved.

He bit his lip tightly as he growled, afraid he’d start chanting her name like a prayer, a plea to the gods to grant him his wishes. The closer he came to his climax, the more real the fantasy before him became. He could swear that, between the growls and the wet slapping of their skin, he could hear Rowan’s sweet voice calling his name, begging him to go faster, for more. He could feel his cock throb, as through half lidded eyes, he saw his Rowan’s sweet face turn to smile at him, her freckled cheeks flushed fully red. That sent him over the edge, his rough hands gripping onto her hips, as he came with a loud growl, emptying his seed inside of her.

He remained still for a moment, catching his breath, before taking a pillow and turning Alys on her back as he pulled out, laying her so that the pillow held up her hips. Her brown eyes looked up at him in confusion, before she nodded in understanding. He hoped his seed would take. The torment of exile would be much easier to bear if he held his child in his arms. He dressed himself in his nightclothes and laid back to the head of the bed, just as he did before Alys came in, now deep in thought.

It felt good. He hated to admit it to himself, but this felt good. He couldn’t recall a time when sex didn’t feel like an absolute chore he had to do every night, both of his wedding nights being mechanical and much of the same routine. But this? This delusion he had created for himself felt amazing in comparison. He was away from any prying ears in court, Alys had no idea what she was doing, so was there truly any harm? If he was going to get himself an heir, at least it felt good. 

“Did I please you, husband?” Alys’ voice brought him back to the present and his violet eyes snapped at her direction. She looked tired, but she smiled eagerly, not at all deterred by his deep frown. Then again, this was what they had agreed to, was it not?

“Yes.” he grunted, looking away from her, the illusion now gone completely. “I’ll call upon you with similar directions. Rather, I’ll tell the maids how to prepare you. You did good.” he said, after some thought. Alys smiled and nodded, pleased with the outcome. 

“I’m happy to hear that.” she said, now not completely out of breath. “You know, I don’t mind anything you could ask of me- well, unless it’s something totally crazy, but even then, I’d give it a try. It’s good that we do this often.” she said, playing with a brown curl. She was in a chatty mood, and Maegor just wanted this to be over. He wasn’t interested in getting to know her; it would destroy any illusions he could build with her.

“It’s been enough time, you can go back to your rooms. I’ll call upon you when you’re needed.” he ordered dismissively. Alys seemed a bit taken aback by his tone, but again, she didn’t let it deter her. She awkwardly got up, trying to not make a complete mess in his room, and wrapped herself in her robe. She looked like she almost went to curtsy, but decided it would be a bad idea.

“Goodnight, husband.” she said in her chipper tone, before she closed the door behind her, leaving Maegor alone with his thoughts. 

He took the pillow back to the stack next to him, pleased to see that they had left no mess at all. He got up and snuffed out the rest of the candles, leaving the moonlight to light the room up. He sighed as he laid back down on his bed, his thoughts an absolute mess. He still felt that shame and the betrayal to his darling, but also a calm, an eerie calm, as he told himself that this was the closest to Rowan he could get.

He closed his eyes, dreaming that he held her in his arms, kissing the top of her head and lulling her to sleep. He dreamt that she was there, smiling at him, telling him she missed him while he prepared her favourite tea for her and fed her grapes. His sweet girl…

taglist:@heartstalked@stupidocupido@discowizard88@slytherisstuff

[eternal-love-song]

Children of Blood and Blades

After fighting their way out of a bad situation, Kokichi and Maki stumbled upon the castle of Queen Sonia and King Gundham. They are welcomed without reserve and allowed to rest, heal, and befriend princess Kaede.

[Kokichi & Maki, Kokichi & Kaede]

[Fire Emblem AU, Developing Friendships, Trauma, Healing, Child Characters, Kokichi POV, Protective Maki]

It was a dark and stormy night when Kokichi and Maki first came to the palace. The rain had pelted them like a hailstorm of arrows, the water making his clothes thick and heavy, and turning the ground beneath his feet into mud. He was struggling under the weight of Maki's unconscious body, dragging both her and himself as he desperately searched for safety.

The rain cloaked the world in the smell of water and earth, but it couldn't wash away the scent of blood that hung all over them. Maki had been drenched in it by the time they'd escaped their pursuers and even with the rainfall slowly cleansing them, the scent hadn't gone away. There were too many wounds all over her body for the scent to truly leave, too many cuts all over his own. But Maki had already done the hard part by cutting down those that stood in his way, so he could do the easy part of finding them somewhere to hide.

He was tired. At only ten, his body wasn't yet strong enough for how much he'd had to push it, but he'd always been determined and stubborn. Going beyond his limits wouldn't stop him. Nothing less than both him and Maki finding a safe place to hide would stop him.

That didn't mean that it didn't hurt though. It didn't mean that he was unaware of the ache in each of his limbs, the strain of dragging Maki's larger body. She was only a year older, but much taller than he was and much more wieldy to pull along. She had run for as long as she could, but she had more than he had and thus ran out of energy faster.

"If you die," Kokichi told her, words partially drowned out by the rain. "I swear I'll never forgive you!"

Going to the castle wasn't Kokichi's first choice for help. The forest was large though, the village farther away, and the castle was the only building that he could see above the treetops. He'd thought that if he went in that direction he would find somewhere to hide long before he reached the actual castle. Instead, someone found him.

"The hell are you kids doing out in the rain?"

It was too dark, the rainfall too heavy, his eyes too tired, for Kokichi to fully make out who was standing before him. The woman wasn't anyone that he had seen before though and that made her safe, in comparison.

"Yo! Nekomaru! We got some strays over here. I'm taking them to the castle!"

Kokichi refused to let go of Maki, but that didn't seem to matter. The woman swung them both up into her arms easily and began to sprint toward the castle with them. "Don't worry, Mikan'll have you both fixed up before you know it."

As much as Kokichi wanted to stay alert, as soon as the pretense of safety wrapped around him, he found himself succumbing to the blackness that had been chasing the edges of his mind and passed out cold.

------------------

Rich people, generally speaking, tended to be terrible. They were mean and selfish and Kokichi had never had a problem stealing from them whenever he needed to. Just like they had never had a problem stealing from everyone else so that they could watch their chest overflow with gold they never wanted to use. Maki had told him stories about the rich people whose houses she had gone to and what terrible things they could usually get away with.

Granted, she told those stories so that they felt better about what she was being made to do, but the stories were at least true. Kokichi had never liked them, never trusted them. He had met worse than rich people since then though, so he was a little more open minded than he had been when he was seven and starving and still looking for someone to blame. (There wasn't anyone to blame, he knew now. Everyone was equally to blame.)

The people at the castle were nice though.

Cleric Mikan had healed them before they'd even woken up and wrapped the worst of their injuries so that their bodies wouldn't be strained as they recovered. Queen Sonia had offered them a room and didn't even try to separate him and Maki. King Gundam had offered to teach him magic.

"This has got to be a trick, right?" Kokichi asked Maki one night. Between the two of them, he was always the optimist, but Maki had been quiet since they escaped their last home and he had to poke her a lot more often to get her thoughts out of her.

"I don't know," she told him quietly. "I…" Maki pressed her lips together, pulling her legs to her chest and pulling the blanket more tightly around her. She looked small in the large bed that they had been given. Well, there were two bed, but he didn't want to be too far away from her yet, when he wasn't yet sure if they would decide to climb out the window in the middle of the night.

"Hey." He moved close enough to knock his shoulder against hers. "I haven't learned the mind reading magic yet, so you're gonna have to give me a clue."

Maki refused to look at him, tensing even more as she opened her mouth to speak. "Do you hate me?"

Kokichi blinked at her. "That's dumb, why would I hate you?"

"You saw what I did, right?" She hid her face in her knees, arms shaking as she held herself tightly. "I… I ki…"

Kokichi swallowed, staring down at his own hands where they were curled up on the bed. He had seen. There was no way that he couldn't have seen. Even though he was hiding and trying not to look, even though he wanted to focus on how to escape, there was no way that he couldn't look. There was no way that he couldn't watch her as she struggled to carve a path out for them. Even though he'd already known what they were making her do, it had still been different to see it play out in front of him.

Killing was bad, he knew that, and she'd done a lot of it. But they hadn't had much choice and they'd left as soon as they could. Stealing was also wrong, but he had done that without a second thought, even when it was what they wanted him to do and he knew that they were bad.

"I don't hate you," he said softly. "I don't hate me either." He looked over at her, hesitating only a moment before slipping his hand into her own. He'd seen the worse that she could be, held her up while she was covered in blood. They were in this together. Now and forever. The blood on her was already on him, and he was the optimistic one. He had to be the one to steer her toward the light so that she never forgot where it was. "I only hate them."

Maki squeezed his hand, very slowly lifting her head and looking at him. "You promise?"

"Yeah, I promise," he told her. Then he added, just to get the sad expression off of her face, "As long as you don't do anything stupid."

A small smile touched her lips and she knocked her shoulder against his. "You're the one always doing stupid things."

"Yeah, so don't steal my thing!" he exclaimed, smiling at her. "You'll have to find your own way to be as cool as I am."

Maki squeezed his hand again. "You're a brat, Kokichi."

"Don't you forget it!"

They didn't talk anymore for the rest of the night. In the morning though, before the sun was up, when they had both opened their eyes but habit had them still pretending to sleep, she gave him an answer. "Let's stay," she said softly. "I want… I want to be good. I want this place to be good."

"It will be," he told her. Even if it wasn't, he'd find a way to make it good.

The castle was huge. Kokichi had made it his mission to explore as much of it as possible, and as a consequence, had avoided as many of the adults that wanted to stop him as he could. Most people didn't know who he was yet, why there was a kid running around the castle, and that it made it even more fun to try and avoid all the guards. Maki had taken to finding places in their room to hide so that no one could find them if they came looking, leaving Kokichi to explore everywhere else on his own.

There were three days of running around, crawling through every crevice his small body could fir through, and avoiding everybody that might try to wrangle him in, before he found the most interesting thing in the palace. That thing being Princess Kaede. He hadn't known that there was another kid in the castle and when he fell into the ballroom and landed practically at her feet, she looked just as surprised to see him.

"How did you get in here?" she asked. She came over to where he had fallen, having found a secret passage and crawled through it until he was falling from halfway up the wall to land flat on his face. She got on her knees as she looked him over, getting her stupidly fancy dress dirty without seeming to realize it.

"Window," he groaned out as he pushed himself up.

"This is the third floor," she said, giving him a stern look as if to scold him for lying without saying as much.

"I'm a good climber." He brushed himself off, but there wasn't that much dirt on the floor, all things considered. "How did you sneak in?"

She huffed at him, placing her hands on her hips as she glared at him. "I didn't sneak in, I live here!"

"You live in the ballroom?"

She rolled her eyes. "I live in this castle," she huffed. Then she paused, brushing her hands through her hair as she added, "Though lately… maybe I do live in the ballroom."

Kokichi looked around the room briefly before looking back at her. "Not where I would choose to sleep, but I guess those curtains could make a comfy bed in a pinch."

She puffed her cheeks out as she stood. 'You're the silliest boy in the entire world!"

"Thanks," he grinned.

She brushed off her dress before grabbing his hand and pulling him toward the center of the room. "Whatever, I don't care about that right now. Since you're here, you have to watch me practice. It's the law."

"Whose law?"

"My law," she told him forcefully. "I've been practicing and I need someone to watch me, so I'm your problem now."

He crossed his arms and dug in his heels. "I don't listen to strangers."

She paused in pulling him when he dug in his heels, looking back at him. "I'm Kaede. Now I'm not a stranger."

Kokichi smiled and shrugged. "Okie dokie!" He followed her to the middle of the room before plopping down on the ground and looking up at her.

She smiled back at him before starting to dance. It wasn't the kind of dance that he expected, wasn't stiff and strict and proper. She swayed and she twirled, so fluid and free that he felt the urge to get up and do something too. He didn't though, he kept watching her until she seemed to tire herself out and sit on the ground beside him, panting and exhausted. "So… so what do… you think?" she asked breathlessly.

"Hmm, I've seen better," he lied.

"What?" She looked at him with the most devastated expression he's ever seen.

"But!" he added quickly. "I think it was pretty good. "

Her expression quickly morphed into a smile. "Really?"

Koichi pretended to think about his answer. "Maybe you should show me again so that I can be sure."

She jumped to her feet. "Okay! You better pay really close attention to this time, alright?"

"Okay!"

Kaede moved back to the center, but paused before she started dancing again. "Oh you never told me your name."

Kokichi thought about lying again, but he couldn't think of anything funny enough to make it worth it. "You can call me Kokichi, your supreme overlord!"

She laughed. "Is Supreme Overlord higher than princess?"

He nodded immediately. "Definitely."

"Alright, Overlord Kokichi." She curtsied to him, holding the position as she met his eyes. "I hope my dance is up to your very high standards."

He grinned. "I'll go easy on you this time. Go on and amuse me."

Kaede shook her head before she began to dance once more and this time, he didn't fight his impulse to get up and join her.

Magic tomes were equal parts interesting and boring to read. There was a bunch of stuff that you had to study in order to do magic. Contrary to what Kokichi had always thought, you couldn't just read the spell and make it work, you had to actually understand how it was meant to work in order to make it do that. On the one hand, that meant that he had to sit through long history lessons that felt like a waste of everyone's time, on the other hand, the actual mechanics of magic were really fascinating. It was easy to forget how convoluted magic study could be and how boring the history was when he was listening to King Gundam rattle off spells and send waves of dark magic across a room to engulf a target. He wondered if all magic teachers needed to be crazy in order to trick their students into learning or if the king was just special.

Kokichi made a habit of complaining about having to study every chance he got, but he actually loved it. Magic was complicated. He had to learn all about the triangle between the different types of magic, and then the smaller triangle inside anima magic alone. He had to learn the properties of magic, what wind could do that was different from lightning, that was different from fire, that was different from dark, that was different from light. He had to learn what part of the body or the world around him magical energy was pulled from, and all this was before he even learned what he might have an aptitude for.

One time Maki looked over his shoulder at one of his magic books and made the worst face it was possible for a person to make. "What the hell are you reading?"

"Magic," he told her simply.

"How can you read that?" she asked. "Is it even words?"

Kokichi shrugged. The words made perfect sense to him, but he'd also snuck a peek at one of the king's tomes and found the symbols utterly incomprehensible, so maybe that's just how magic worked.

Maki sighed. "Only you would find the hardest thing to learn and try to do it immediately."

He laughed. "What can I say, I like a challenge."

Queen Sonia rode a pegasus, he knew, and she had been trying to talk Maki around into learning how to ride. Princess Kaede had apparently trained a little, but even though she got along with the pegasi pretty well, fighting wasn't something that she had taken to.

Maki was stubborn though. They didn't talk about it much, but he knew that she was still beating herself up over what she had done before and wasn't sure if she trusted herself with learning how to do anything else.

"You know," he spoke up suddenly, twisting around in his chair to look at her. "If you learn how to fly, you could take me with you and I could cast magic from the sky."

Maki frowned. "I don't kn-"

Kokichi cut off before she could finish, getting on his knees in the chair and leaning over the back of it. "We could be a thunderstorm! You fly us through the clouds and I could rain thunder down on everyone! Ooh! Or fire!"

A small smirk touched her lips. "Do you even know how to cast lightning or fire yet?"

He stuck his tongue out at her. "You don't know how to ride yet either, so we're both even."

She turned away from him. "Maybe."

Kokichi shrugged and turned back around. "Well, if you won't do it, then I'll have to find my own way to fly."

"Can magic do that?"

He shrugged, though he wasn't sure if Maki was looking at him to see it. "Wnd has to be good for something, right?"

She sighed. "You don't wind magic."

"I might!" he objected. "I might learn every magic there is."

She stomped over to flick him in the forehead and he made an exaggerated sound of pain. "That's not even possible."

"You don't know! You can't even read one lousy magic book."

Maki pulled him into a headbutt and he flailed as he tried to get free. "Help! I'm being bullied for superior magic skills!"

"You don't have any magic skills yet!"

"Yet I'm already a better mage than you!"

Kokichi flailed hard enough to pull them both to the ground and they landed in a tangle of limbs beside his overturned chair. They laughed before they even untangled themselves and lingered on the floor together in place of a hug.

-----------------------

"Kokichi!" Kaede greeted as she burst into his room. Without knocking, mind you. Kaede had a bad habit of forgetting to knock that had gotten her nearly hit with flying objects on many occasions when she started Maki. Maki always apologized and Kaede usually joked that she should train to be an archer since her aim was so good, which usually dissolved the tension enough to make Maki stop looking like she licked a lemon. "Come spar with me!"

He looked up from the magic tome that he had snuck out of the library. He could only read about half of it, but trying to put together the rest based on only the clues he could read was fun. "Aren't you a dancer?"

Kaede glared at him. "I know how to use a sword."

He just hummed at her, eyes trailing back down to his book.

She huffed and stomped across the room toward him. "I'm a princess, you think I wouldn't know how to protect myself?" she asked.

He shrugged. "I've never been a princess, so I don't know what you know."

Kaede reached out to slam his book shut, staring him down as she pressed down on it to keep him from opening it again. "Come on, I need to practice."

"You're a dancer," he repeated.

"So what? Fight me!"

He sighed and sank further into his chair. "Ask Maki."

"You know that Maki doesn't fight," she said.

He knew nothing of the sort, actually. Kokichi knew that Maki could fight quite well. Viciously, in fact. Maki fought like her life was on line, like her hands were teeth and she needed to take a bite out of the world. Granted, it had been and she did, but still. Neither of them had talked about their past to anyone in the castle, so he wasn't surprised to learn that Kaede didn't know that. Had Maki told her that she couldn't fight though?

"It's bad manners to hurt a princess," he said.

"You're a mage, you can't hurt me," she said confidently.

Kokichi raised an eyebrow. "You know that swords are made of metal, right? They can hurt you."

She waved a hand between them as if to banish his words. "You're not stronger than me."

Kokichi rolled his eyes. "You've literally never fought me before, you don't know that."

Kaede blinked at him. "But… you're a mage?"

Kokichi sighed and leaned closer to her, using his fingers to illustrate his point. "First off, I only started learning magic after I got here, you don't know how strong I might be. Second, knowing magic doesn't mean I'm weak. Third, I think you might be too stupid to be allowed on a battlefield if you have this rigid concept of strength."

"Don't call me stupid!" she yelled.

He shrugged. "Then don't be stupid."

Kaede pushed him out of his chair, then she grabbed his arm and pulled him toward her before he could actually hit the ground, making him stumble behind her and scramble to keep himself upright. "Why don't you put your money where your mouth is," she demanded. "We're sparring. Right now."

Kokichi sighed as he let her drag him along. Truthfully, he had never fought with a sword before. But he had used a dagger. He had listened to Maki tell him what places on a body hurt the most, had been told by the people that held them previously how to hurt and maim and kill. Kokichi didn't know how to spar, but he did know how to fight. He didn't want to fight the princess.

"This is probably a bad idea, you know," he told her. She shoved a sword into his hand and the unexpected weight made him grip the weapon tighter. It was longer and heavier than what he was used to. He was sure that any strike he made would hurt too much, any swing would overshoot his target. If by some chance he made her bleed, there was no way he could avoid thinking of that night.

"It'll be fine," she told him. "I know what I'm doing."

He wanted to object that he might not know what he was doing, but he knew she wouldn't listen. Kaede was hard headed at the best of times. He usually thought it was funny. Pointing a sword at her now though, he didn't think it was very funny.

Kaede fought pretty aggressively. She liked to stay on the attack, to keep moving. The fact that she was a dancer really showed through her movements.

The one good thing about a sword over a dagger was that it was easier to use it to block. Staying on the defensive, it was easy enough to block most of her strikes. She telegraphed a lot. If he was giving her advice, that was something he'd tell her to work on. As it was, he was having a hard time trying to avoid looking at her weak spots. He knew where to hit her wrist to disarm her but was afraid of using too much strength when he did. He could think of ways to trip her up but was sure how to do it safely enough not to hurt her. His eyes went to her throat, then away, back again, the past and present in constant struggle as he imagined-- tried not to imagine, tried not to remember, tried not to--

"What are you doing?"

By the time Kokichi had blinked his vision clear, Kaede was on the ground and Maki was standing in front of him. Her hands rested carefully on top of his, easing the sword out of his overly tight grip.

"What happened?" he asked hoarsely. His eyes were on Maki's hand, remembering the blade and the blood and-- no, stop, stop, STOP!

"You pushed me," Kaede squeaked out in disbelief. When Kokichi was able to look at her she was wearing a hurt expression, but she didn't actually look injured.

Maki glared at her, placing her hands on Kokichi's shoulders, ground him to reality. "You can't just do whatever you want just because you're a princess!" she yelled. "If he doesn't want to fight you, then he doesn't have to!"

Kaede looked confused and afraid. Maki had been like a ghost around the castle since they had come here. Quiet, withdrawn, she didn't know this side of Maki. Kokichi did though. This loud, angry maki was the one that he was used to. The one whose hand he had grabbed while they were in hell and refused to let go.

Kokichi tossed his arms around her, holding her tightly and hiding his face in her so that he couldn't see anything. Squeezing his eyes closed for good measure so that the memories would stop trying to paint everything red. It was stupid. Maki was the one that had painted the world red, but she was the only one that he thought could make it better. It was her hands he pictured with a blade, not his own, yet it was those same hands in his hair that caused him to calm down. Kokichi was usually good at not thinking about things, at pushing them down, down, down, down until he couldn't even see them anymore. It was Maki that dragged the memories with her everyday, that laid down in a pool of the blood in her hands and did a deadman's float until she couldn't breathe.

Kokichi was supposed to be the one that was fine. He was supposed to be the one that could function.

"What… what's wrong with him?" Kaede asked quietly.

Kokichi had almost forgotten that she was there. Truthfully, he couldn't find it in himself to care that she still was. His world barely had enough room for the ground beneath his feet and the hand in his hair. He couldn't afford to extend it beyond that. Not when that was where the bloodshed and screams lived. Not when that was where the rain and mud and heavy weight on his shoulders lurked, trying to pull him under.

"Nothing's wrong with him," Maki snapped. "Just… go away."

"But I…"

"Get out!" Maki yelled.

The yelling is what made him calm down. He was used to Maki yelling. Used to her being grumpy and pushy and snapping at everyone around her that wasn't an adult. Kokichi slumped into her arms and she held him painfully tight.

"Hey," she said, more softly than previous but too close to her normal voice to be called a whisper. "Knight Akane said that she could carry us both around the castle as training. Do you want to go bother her?"

Kokichi wasn't sure that he wanted to do much of anything, but he nodded anyway. It was fun when the knights swung them around like a sack of potatoes. He remembered one time Akane and Nekomaru had passed him back and forth for nearly ten minutes, saying that he was small enough to be a training weight. When they tried to do the samething to Maki, she kicked Nekomaru in the chest for picking her up and they ended up slinging her over their shoulders to keep her from kicking where it might hurt.

They were halfway down the hall by the time Kokichi finally felt like he was paying attention to the world again. Maki was holding his hand, a rare thing, and he wasn't sure where Kaede had gone.

"I won't let her do that again," Maki said firmly. "She doesn't know how spoiled she is."

"It's not her fault," he mumbled. He wasn't sure that that was true, but he didn't want Kaede and Maki fighting. Maki needed all the friends she could get.

"I don't care," Maki replied, anger tinting the edge of her words.

Kokichi was sure that Maki was taking him in a circle. They walked for ten more minutes, getting nowhere, before they finally found the two knights. By the time they did, Kokichi felt well enough to fake a smile for them and grin as Nekomaru lifted him in the air like he was nothing.

"Hey don't hog the pipsqueak!" Akane said. "Toss him over here!"

Kokichi didn't have to think as he let the two knight's playing wash his bad memories away.

The Queen was waiting for him when they returned to their room. Maki stepped in front of him, clearly still feeling protective from earlier.

"She told," Maki asked harshly.

"I was told something," Queen Sonia responded. "But I don't think I'd have the full story if I didn't ask you what happened."

"She--"

"Didn't do anything bad," Kokichi said, talking over Maki. "I'm fine."

Queen Sonia huffed in a way that was very reminiscent of her daughter. "Well I don't believe that that was what I asked, now was is?"

Kokichi shook his head.

Queen Sonia smiled. "Now then, what happened? I'm listening."

Maki looked at him, waiting for him to answer since he'd already cut her off once. "She wanted to spar. She was… very Kaede about it."

Sonia laughed. "Kaede's very much like her father in that way. She's very sure of herself, very focused, she forgets to look to others sometimes, doesn't she?"

"Are we in trouble?" Maki asked.

Sonia shook her head. "Of course not, no harm done." She came over to them both, crouching down and looking up at them. "But if there's something wrong…"

Kokichi crossed his arms and looked away. "She just caught me in a bad mood."

The way Sonia's smile dropped made it quite clear that she knew he was lying, but he didn't push. "Very well. Next time, I'll make sure to have a proper sparring partner ready for her." She stood up and went to the door. She didn't look back at them as she added, "You know that the two of you can make request of myself or the king anytime, right?"

"We know," Mki said, but the uncertainty was clear in her voice.

"Alright then." Sonia left the room and the two of them sat on the floor in front of their bed, huddled together like they used to be when they lived in a place that had too many bodies and too little space. A room like this was too big for times when they felt so unsettled.

"Come my dark pupil, I have a matter of grave importance to discuss with you," the king greeted him as soon as he'd entered the study for their magic lesson. King Gundham was probably his favorite person in the castle, up there with the knight Akane for how fun they could be. The king was better though, because he rolled with any lie that Kokichi told and was also teaching him magic.

Kokichi plopped down in a chair and looked up at the king. "What's important?"

"A seed has been planted in my mind, watered by the dark whispered around this shadowy temple.," the king continued. "After many nights of deep meditation and visions, I turn the matter over to your hands."

Kokichi grinned and sat up straighter. "And what matter needs the supervision of a supreme overlord?"

"The safety of the light bringer."

Kokichi blinked at him in surprise. "The princess?"

King Gundham smirked at him over his shoulder. "Not up to the challenge?"

He sat up straighter, tilting his head as he studied the king. "I… what is it that you want me to do?"

"The light bringer is too pure for the dark miasma that falls upon this world," Gundham went on. "The Dark Queen and I cannot be her shield when we are shackled to the throne. However, you have no chains, my dark pupil, only infinite freedom."

"You want me to protect her," he concluded quietly. He thought of the disastrous sparring attempt for not too long ago and pressed his lips together tightly.

"You can be the eyes that I lack, the hands the I need, the ears that catch low whispers when my head is held too high." Usually Kokichi was vastly amused when he watched the way the king posed and paraded around the room when he spoke. Now he could barely focus on it as he became lost in his own thoughts.

"I'm not sure that's a good idea."

A hand fell on his shoulder and he looked up to see the king smiling down at him. "The kingdom does not lack swords and lances. There are many that would take up arms to defend this realm from ravages of itself. That is not what I ask of you. I cannot keep the light cupped in my hand however. To be kept in the shade would lessen its potency. It must be free to grow, but freedom does not have to come without companionship, wouldn't you agree?"

Not a guard then. That makes a lot more sense. Even if Kokichi got good at magic, good with swords, good at everything, he wasn't sure that he would want to be the guard to a princess. That was a lot of pressure. A friend though? An escort even? Maybe he could do that.

"I hate liars, so I'd never make a promise that I couldn't keep," he announced loudly, and nothing more.

Gundham watched him for a moment to see if he would say more, before he burst into laughter. "Exactly the response I would expect from one such as you. Truly the wordsmith I have come to expect," he said.

Kokichi puffed up. "Of course! I'm not the supreme overlord for no reason!"

The king and queen hadn't asked him or Maki any questions about what happened to them before or what brought them to the castle's doorstep. They had just opened their doors and allowed the two strays to make themselves comfortable. Kokichi still wasn't sure if they would stay forever or if Maki would decide she wanted to go elsewhere. He wasn't sure that it was his place to befriend a princess, that he was worthy to live in a castle, that he deserved the kindness of the king and queen… but for now, he was grateful to have all of it. He wanted to make them proud, to be a good pupil.

For now, he wanted to stay. And if he was going to stay, he might as well try to be good, too.

[redmoonwanderer]

FFXIV Write 2023, Day 29 Prompt: Contravention

Though the senses of the tribe Eldest have dulled from her younger years, it unfortunately doesn’t mean she’s unperceptive of what happens around her. Of course, most of the time sharp senses are what keeps them all safe, but when Qhol’a and Sair’sae think they’re in private, catching fish from the stream near the camp, they could’ve used poorer ears.

When Qhol’a is pointing at ripples and whispering, “There!”, and when Sair’sae looks over to see the fat fish swimming closer, they are unaware that the Eldest had approached them, quietly. It’s only when she says, with a stern voice of a leader who’s caught the younger members of her tribe red-handed, “What is the meaning of this?” that they realise they’re not alone anymore.

Qhol’a starts, loses his balance and nearly falls in the water if not for Sair’sae’s quick reflexes. The man catches the child by his hand and pulls him to safety before standing up and turning to look at the woman. His tail is twitching and his brows are furrowed, and Qhol’a is hiding behind his legs because he knows he’d been caught breaking the rules.

“Go on, or are you going to pretend you don’t know what I’m talking about?” the Eldest says, on hand on her decorated staff and the other on her hip.

“I find your treatment of him mean, and that belief of yours ridiculous,” Sair’sae says, and Qhol’a looks up at the man because he’s never heard him talk like that: he’s usually smiling and gentle. Now he’s… angry?

“Have you no respect for our traditions? Our rules? All that exists for the safety of our tribe.” The Eldest walks closer, and Qhol’a grips Sair’sae’s pants tighter: if the man wanted to move, he would trip over. He stands rooted as a tree, though, and looks the Eldest in the eye.

“I’ve spoken with Qhol’a many a time, and nothing’s changed. You’re still safe as you ever were, and nor have you been struck by famine or disease. I do not know if your prophecy is real or not –“

“The Word is real and has always been true –“

“– but if it is, then maybe you have misunderstood the meaning.” Qhol’a feels Sair’sae’s hand on his shoulder when the Eldest stops in front of them. He’s trying hard not to cry, but he can’t stop the tears coming to his eyes because they always told him to be silent or bad things might happen and she heard –

“The Word is very clear. If it says that his echo will turn the tide of any battle, then as long as we are not fighting for our lives, he will remain silent.” He looks down at Qhol’a. “Am I clear?”

Qhol’a wants to apologise but he can’t let go of Sair’sae to sign and he can’t speak, so he just nods, barely visible. The Eldest sees it, however, and looks back at Sair’sae.

“If my daughter didn’t love you so, if you didn’t have three children that deserve to learn all both their parents can teach them, I would tell you you are never again welcome to visit here. Your foolishness has endangered us all. Qhol’a is not yours, so stop thinking you can raise him. It is not your duty.” Her eyes are cold and she sounds like she really wants to banish Sair’sae forever, and Qhol’a is afraid he’s not allowed to play and travel and have fun with him anymore because he really likes him.

“If his own father shows up to teach him what he needs to know of living alone in the wilds once he’s old enough to leave, I’ll step back. But until then, he’s my child just as much as the other three.”

The Eldest looks at him down her nose with a look of disgust, but says nothing for a long while. The two stare at each other, but eventually the Eldest huffs. “Do it your way. But there will be no more sounds coming from Qhol’a, or next time, I will not be as kind.” She then turns around and walks away, leaving the two by the stream. The moment she’s out of view, Sair’sae pries Qhol’a’s hands off his pants and crouches in front of him. He wipes the tears from his face and the smile is back again, but he looks a little sad.

“Don’t worry, Qhol’a, you did nothing wrong,” he says, and when Qhol’a can’t stop that heart-wrenching silent crying of his, Sair’sae embraces him. The child’s hands grab onto him like a lifeline, his face pressed against his shoulder.

Sair’sae rubs his back and speaks to him calmly despite the part in his heart that burns with anger at the unfairness of it all.

[epickiya722]

REACTIONS TO EPISODE 17 - THE WRONG WAY TO PUT OUT A FIRE

Jokes, opinions, emotions and emojis. The usual here!

LAST EPISODE'S REACTIONS

We're learning about fire safety, people!!

"Quirk marriages..." I wanna fight someone!

I forgot Rei had short hair. She looks better with short hair.

Hee hee... look at that baby and his weird haircut.

"... our children could surpass All Might." Okay, that got me thinking. Children? So Enji intended to have multiple kids? Like even if they all came out exactly how he wanted, would he have trained all of them to become heroes?

Rei was put in a tough situation, huh? She was aware of her marriage to Enji was a quirk marriage and one to establish the status of her family, willingly marrying this man for the sake of her family.

At least he was trying when asking of she likes flowers...

"Are you alright?" "Of course not. That's why I'm here." I did giggle a little. Oooh, she is upset.

"You weren't the only one to overlook that child's situation." When both parents play a part in the forming of a child becoming a villain later in life.

"That jerk is my dad." Yes, you told all of Japan that Maury style.

"I can't wait to see that miserable look on his face." Go to the hospital, he has it right now!

He's crying blood...

The episode title is hilarious to me because of the family in question.

Touya... calm down. I know you wanna make your father proud and all that but... GO PLAY OR SOMETHING! Sit down and heal!

This kid is really wearing a shirt that says "Fire 🔥". Not surprised given his father is wears fire ties. Like father, like son.

Their faces 😆😆😆

Enji is big as hell. Like he makes everyone around him look tiny except for the ones that see just as or bigger than him.

Okay, got it. He has a powerful fire quirk but due to his ice genes, it damages his body.

"Touya... you have what it takes to surpass All Might." NO HE DOES NOT!! HIS QUIRK COULD KILL HIM EVEN BEFORE HE REACHES 20!!

62 cities?! ALL MIGHT, WTF?!

No wonder he was #1. No wonder Enji is obsessed.

Aaaaw, they're so cute!! Precious beings!!

"Why can't I do Quirk training?" ... why would she know that?

"I don't know." Exactly.

"It's just a small burn." Sir, I get burns and freak out. Okay, I lied, I just move on. I got used to burns. I cook, people.

"I don't want to see you get hurt." Never change, Fuyumi.

Touya, she is worried about you. Chill out.

Hee hee...

"It was Dad who inspired me." In hindsight, that was a very poor choice.

"That is unacceptable." I don't like where this is going... at all.

Look at Baby Shoto!! Future soba lover...

"I can do it. I can surpass him." I want to hug this child.

Please listen to the mess of a man, Touya. I want you to be happy! Be your own person!

Enji, though, I'm sure you're aware this is your own fault.

Serious moment, but funny background moment. The hell, Shoto? 🤣

"Everyone wants to be a hero." Sad but true. Me though? I'll be a civilian.

WHAT THE HELL IS THAT FACE?!

"After all, I'm your son." Sad but true.

Aaaaw, little Natsuo is too cute!

Touya really came at his baby brother like that! Yeah, I would be worried, too!

Icy snot bubble Shoto here...

"He really wants you to look at him." Yes and Rei, do you ever look at him?

Damn, Enji, for real? You would think after the disaster of you trying to make a hero out of Touya, you would let go of your obsession with All Might and give Shoto a choice to be a hero? Allow me to BE A KID, TOO?!

Wait... I do remember the kick ball scene. So... I don't know...

Touya, as much as it is your father's fault, you shouldn't blame yourself for something you couldn't control. Your genes aren't your fault, buddy.

Natsuo just want to sleep. 😆

"The women in this house are worthless." I will fight you.

Funny, that Endeavor's top sidekick is a woman. Worthless, my ass. 😒

Why you gotta do your mom like that, man? Really? You gotta look at her like that? Scary.

"You had no choice but to marry him." So you belittle your mom for it?

"You're just as guilty as him." Yeah.

"I can't stop him on my own." Damn you, Enji.

"I thought going there would make things worse..." well, up until this point nothing you did was right so...

DID FIRE JUST COME OUT HIS EYES?!

"But I had it coming." 😶

The family is just really pouring it all out there.

"Shoto is the hero of our family." I could cry right now.

Hawks, you and Best Jeanist are nosy. 😆

"What is illegal demin?" Yeah, what is that?

"I'm genuinely shocked." You and the rest of the public.

"That was my doing." I mean she isn't wrong. She did put the scar there.

"Shoto. You're awesome. " Isn't he?!

10,000 CRIMINALS?! 10 DAMN THOUSAND?!

I KNOW WHO THAT IS!!!

Best Jeanist is always fixing his hair.

Oh, Hawks' wings are growing back.

Now they're bringing up OFA.

And we're back to Bakugou and the gang! And he's still freaking out about Midoriya!

"Sorry, Tsu." She does look depressed.

Ah, Iida being a good friend and Class President worrying about his fellow students.

"But he's louder than before." That will happen when you worried about the kid who has been in whole life who is now in a coma.

"What exactly is One For All?" A quirk.

"You're probably having a conversation with the previous welders." WHICH I AM SO READY FOR!!!

YES AND THAT IS NEXT EPISODE!!! THE OFA USERS!!! YES!!!

[blubushie]

Have a Learnin the Blus question. We know how some of the mercs feel about their counterparts on RED, but do they ever interact outside of combat and Emergencies ( like Suki and Ludwig collaborating on reviving Jesse) and of course Jesse and Mundy?

Do the Medics exchange project ideas (if Suki can stand Ludwig, that is). Do the Engies? Do the Scouts argue about baseball and then get separated before someone ends up in Respawn? Do the Spies report on their teams to each other and chat about spy stuff and expensive spirits and cigars? I know the Snipers don't interact because they're both of the opinion that People are Awful. What's the beef between the Heavy Weapons Specialists?

If any of this is going to be answered in fic ignore it.

You have such a delightful cast of characters and they mesh really well with the world and the mercs we all know and love!

Not usually!

The main ones are Jeremy and Jesse who are only permitted to hang out with each other because they've been doing this for the longest while and it hasn't affected their match performance. They're extremely competitive and there's no holds barred when they go up against each other during matches. They're best mates (this is important to remember for later ;]) and they still constantly want to kill each other. They are the only members of the teams (aside from Suki and Ludwig) who are allowed to fraternise.

Dougal and Tavish both got on fine at first before the WAR! comic as they're both Scottish and enjoy many of the same things, but then that comic happened and we both know how that ended. There's still hard feelings on both side.

The Engies have only ever worked together during MvM and never as mates.

Heinz is scared of Firebug.

Liem and Dell get on just fine and are always very respectful to each other during matches. Liem calls Dell "sir" and Dell calls him "son." They don't interact outside of matches but they're always courteous.

Suki and Ludwig don't generally meet but they often get together on the horn and drink tea and gossip about their teams. Ludwig has yet to explain how he brought Mundy back from the dead and in return Suki has yet to teach him how to properly do sutures that don't look like they were tied by a bloody five-year-old.

Mundy is a frequent topic between those two, and Jesse as well. Suki in particular is worried about Mundy's state of mental health in the interest of Jesse's safety and requests frequent updates from Ludwig on Mundy's behaviour, which he does give her. Suki has more experience with psychiatry than Ludwig does and gives him recommendations on Mundy's medication adjustments. Not that it matters--he doesn't take them anyway.

Doe takes an affront to "Englishmen in dresses" and because of this he doesn't like Dougal, who often dons a kilt (because nothing is worse than seeing the enemy BLU flash you by flipping up his kilt). No one tell him about Charles.

Speaking of...

Charles and Jacques get on just fine. More than fine, actually, to the point it's mildly concerning. They don't necessarily hang out, but they do have a phone system similar to Suki and Ludwig, and they'll also slip away during matches sometimes during stalemates to converse, and they do look out for each other's families. The only rule is that they never discuss their women or children. Charles thinks Jacques is a cunt for how he's handled his paternity of Jeremy, and Jacques thinks Charles is a fool for having a child with a woman he knew he'd be leaving someday (hypocrite). "All them backstabbin' spooks know each other," Mundy would say, and those two know each other... very well. Do not mention the German occupation of France to them; Jacques will just snort and smirk and Charles will get redder than a tomato.

[hjellacott]

The importance of public bathrooms and gyms exclusively for women

The reason transgender women and men do not understand the importance public bathrooms have for women, is that they have never grown up as women.

When I was in middle school, female-exclusive bathrooms were a place where I could change from my school uniform to my Taekwondo uniform (I had classes right in the same building and within minutes of finishing school) without any of the boys who bullied me teasing me, trying to see me naked, and making comments about my body that made me uncomfortable. It was a safe space girls have lost in favour of unisex bathrooms.

When I was in high school, female-exclusive bathrooms were the safe place where I found a friend crying her eyes out because of bullying, feeling that at least in the bathroom she'd be left alone, because there were no boys. It was the one sacred, ever-respected rule, of no boys in the girls' bathroom. It was also the place where my mates and I changed from our high school clothes to our Halloween costumes, where my classmates and I changed into costumes and did our hair and make-up for our play (we studied performing arts), and where we all went to touch-up before our graduation party. That bathroom was witness of so many moments of female vulnerability, where a girl just wanted to be alone, away from boys just for a minute, away from their immature teasing, their sexual harassment, their sexual comments, their mockery, their stupidity. That's gone now in favour of unisex bathrooms.

In my adulthood, public female-exclusive bathrooms became places tailored for female necessities (many include tampax, for example), clean spaces (have men heard of that?) of safety. Where if you were uncomfortable with a man, you could run and no way he'd follow. Bear in mind I'm speaking about public bathrooms in universities, in train stations, in shops, in the street, where there are cameras and security right outside that wouldn't allow a man inside until now they're changing into unisex spaces. And inside, there are no cameras and no security, for privacy, so anything can happen. Public bathrooms were for women a sanctuary of complicity and cooperation between women. They'd help with your make-up, they'd give you space to prepare for an incoming job interview, they'd give you a friendly smile when you needed it, or a period pad, or tell you to adjust your clothes if something was wrong, or lend you a tissue if your boyfriend had just left you. They were also a place where mothers could have their little children, knowing they'd be safe while they went to the loo, that no man would hurt them.

A similar thing happens, for example, in public gyms. When I initiated myself into gyms, in adulthood, the memories of the boy school bullies I'd had were still too recent, and I felt severely insecure. I've always looked too thin and too unfit, the kind of woman you'd laugh for daring to lift something heavy. Nobody would suspect that I'm a Taekwondo veteran, and someone who is, as a matter of fact, strong. You'd think athletes would feel naturally comfortable in gyms, but it wasn't for me. I feared men looking at me with mockery, laughing at my attempts to do activities I was new to, and even worse, I feared men looking at me with desire, masturbating or seeing their erections through their clothes, making me insanely uncomfortable and feeling threatened, as it had happened to female friends of mine. So I was super careful choosing my gym. I wanted a female gym, where I was surrounded by people like me who understood my worries and would help me. I wanted to feel we were all in the same boat. I couldn't find a single one.

BUT AT LEAST, I FOUND PUBLIC MIXED-SEX GYMS WITH FEMALE ONLY CHANGING ROOMS, YESS!!!!

And there, it was glorious. To be able to change into my bathing suit with no men looking at me and making comments. In fact, with nobody looking at me and making comments. Sharing tips with women, empathy with women, even shampoo, for our showers were next door. That, now is also gone.

The thing is, women have been threatened by men, sexual assault experiences from men and patriarchy from men, for hundreds of years. We have always seemed to only be there to sexually please men, period. So while men are more individualistic, women have learned to rely on each other, to trust each other only, and innately mistrust men until they prove themselves worthy. This is what men have caused. As a result, us women work in packs. We raise children together after their fathers abandon us, we take care of each other after our husbands go for a younger woman, we are a safe space when men call us names, tease us, mock us, bully us, shame us.

We are a pack, fiercely protective of each other, and it's always been like that. It's why we go together to like, bathrooms and other places where one might be vulnerable - to keep us safe from men. And much like men needed their own spaces to smoke, talk about girls, see girls dancing naked, play sports or whatever the shit they do there, and would be horrified to find their women there, us women, we need our spaces too. To feel safe, to be in community, to be a pack, to do whatever the shit us women do.

[umbravirtus]

"You've heard the woman," Ulrich says to the clergymen "She's accepted an alliance with the Isles through a blessed marriage if you defy her, you'd be defying The Southern Isles, Arendelle, Zaria, Royaume, Chatho, Tikaani, Eldora, Avalor, Tirula, Torres, Corona, and Vassar for my family is vast and has an alliance in all of those places and more, I shall remind you I have 13 sons."

And without waiting for a reply he went up to that stage. The army froze waiting for an order but Ulrich was no fool. One wrong move and everyone would die and the clergymen did not want to.

"The Pope will hear from this." The leader speaks, and Ulrich squares up to him and says "Oh boo-fucking-hoo" in a mocking tone. "Now begone from this kingdom, or shed your blood for your cause." Then walks to Elsa, kneels next to her, takes off his cape, and puts it around her shoulders, carefully "I know your back must hurt" He says only for her to hear, "It's okay my child, it's okay you're safe now." he reminds her as he clasps the lion-shaped golden brooch that secured the cape in place. It was strongly symbolic and if Ulrich had planned it, it couldn't have gone better. The church and citizens of Arendelle just see their Queen enveloped and protected by a cape that's essentially the flag of the isles, and that brooch around her neck could be interpreted as a noose if one were to think about it too much.

He pulls a dagger undoes her binds and takes her in his arms, the man is in his 70's but he's carrying her with ease. "Viktor," He calls to the strongest of his children, the secondborn. "Come here and take our guest into the Jackdaw" Viktor obeys and takes Elsa in his arms. "See that she's seen immediately by a medic." he orders and Viktor nods "Yes, Father." He puts his hand on Elsa's hair "Don't you worry darlin' we will be going soon, your sister is right behind you." he reassures her and lets her go "Franz, your cape." As Viktor comes down from the stage, Franz gets up and removes his garment, Ulrich stands in front of the three clergymen holding Anna.

"Unhand her, now," he commands and begrudgingly the men obey. As soon as he can, the man also puts the cape around her shoulders "You're also safe my child, we're taking you to the isles to recover, who's your regent?" Upon identifying lord Peterssen, Ulrich tells her "Walk with Franz to the ship okay darling? I'll join you shortly."

Then he addresses the crowd. "People of Arendelle, my son Lars, he has ruled Weselton with fairness and conviction he's staying behind, to aid in your recovery and make sure these men leave, Berserker, my ship and every one of the 800 crewmen in it is staying here, in your docks to ensure your safety. Lars will heed Lord Petersens' direction, we are not here to take over Arendelle, we're here to expunge the invaders from your land." Not to mention he was invading himself but, at this time, who exactly was counting. "Also my sons Viktor and Franz will stay behind, to aid in this transition," he adds

"You can count on the Resources of Weselton, and without more delay, I must depart to see that your beloved Queen and Princess receive the prompt attention they need, Lars, you're in charge." he says then nods and gets off the stage "Let's go, Gunther, you're coming home with me." he orders "Yes father" they oversaw the beginning of the retreat of the church.

Viktor and Franz came back and with that, Ulrich went into the boat where the two girls had been allowed to go into the same room where the doctor was hooking something to Elsa's arm to help her regain hydration.

The ship moved they were departing. He simply stood there, holding space for them, letting them breathe. He'll be there for when they need to talk.

For eighteen days she has endured the pain inflicted on her body and her soul and throughout she was steadfast in her faith. She spoke against this fale profit who used fear and perverted scripture to justify the church's subjugation of her people. God chose her to bear this gift. Anna had been forced to watch as her sister's body was raised onto the pyre. Her screams filled the air, and she tried to fight, she tried with everything in her but the hooded clergymen overpowered her.

As the torch was lit it seemed to those gathered that their golden-haired Joan had been forsaken by God, that perhaps, she truly was everything the Archdeacon claimed her to be, that the sound of King Ulrich's voice filled her ears and offered her a twisted salvation.

Slowly, her head raised and her eyes opened, the tears within them making their blue even more piercing. Her lips dry and cracked, she licked them and for the first time in these eighteen days, she spoke. Her voice is hoarse from the strain of screaming. Her hands shook in their bindings as the magic coursing through her veins begged for release she could not give.

"Yes," she swallowed. It hurt to speak those words. "I accept."

[flyingaroundinabusinesssuit]

How To Master Business Travel As A Working Mom - Five Tips

Any woman trying to juggle a successful career with parenthood deserves a medal. Throw in business travel and it’s fair to say working moms are real-life superheroes. 

Company travel agencies recognise South African business travel moms are the true heroes and offer some tips to make life on the road just a little easier:

1. Keep fit, healthy and safe

Safety has become an important concern for every road warrior but for female travellers in particular. A sad reality is that travel policies often don’t address the specific risks faced by women on the road. Prior to the pandemic, research done by the Global Business Travel Association revealed that although awareness of risk faced by female business travellers has never been higher, only 18% of corporate travel policies specifically address matters related to the safety needs of female business travellers.

Oz Desai, GM of a company travel agency in South Africa, explains that this is where a professional Travel Management Company comes in. “They will put together a comprehensive duty of care programme that is mindful of the specific concerns faced by women. We will make sure to suggest safe lodging options, reliable transfers and the best times to travel. After all, we want to make sure any business travel passes the ‘mom and pop’ test so that nobody in your family (including you) needs to be worried about your safety,” he says.

2. Ditch the guilt

Mommy guilt is a very real thing, with most working mothers experiencing it at least once (if not all the time) during their careers, especially when they’re spending long days on the road. The good news is that research has shown that working moms have nothing to feel guilty about as they tend to raise very successful daughters and empathetic sons.

Former American First Lady Michelle Obama once noted that “mothers are never off the clock, mothers are never on vacation”. But she also said that being a mother made her a better professional because her daughters reminded her of what she’s working for – and, at the same time, being a professional made her a better mother, because she’s providing a role model for girls who have big dreams.

Obama’s insights undoubtedly strike a chord with mothers throughout South Africa, especially as we emerge out of the pandemic. On the one hand, lockdown gave us a chance to spend more time with our families and bond with them over activities we otherwise wouldn’t have had time to explore; on the other, the loss of ‘me’ time has made many of us yearn for the space to rediscover our own interests.

“Business travel presents exciting opportunities: not only does networking with fresh faces give you a chance to exchange new ideas, but exposure to a different horizon can be stimulating and inspiring,” comments Anneke Bornman, Corporate Traveller. “And, while it’s obviously difficult to say goodbye to your family, it’s important to remember that there are many benefits for children who see their moms engaged in work they enjoy.”

3. Prepare the troops

Things will always feel easier and more streamlined when you’re well-prepared. So, book your travel in advance. Not only will this help the company keep tabs on their travel spend; but it will also allow you as a busy mom enough time to organise childcare and prepare the troops at home.

One very simple – and yet helpful – action is to talk younger children through their feelings, says Bornman. Tell them that it is perfectly ok to feel sad and perhaps even a little angry that you are leaving. At the same time, remind them that they will be safe with their caregiver for the next few days and that you will be back soon.

Making arrangements for lift clubs, school lunches and homework supplies while you’re away on business will keep you busy, so delegate the nitty gritty of your travel arrangements to a professional travel consultant.

Creating a ‘timeline’ of your trip may help your children understand how long they have to wait until you’re home. For example, fill a jar with one biscuit for every day you’re away, and tell them to eat one of the biscuits each day you’re gone. This gives them a visual representation of a concept they may otherwise battle to understand.

4. Leverage tech

From toddler to grandparent, the past two years have taught everyone the ‘joys’ of video calling. This comes in handy when you’re away from work. When you have a moment, jump on a short video call to say hi and ask about the kids’ day. If you’ve got teens, try reaching out on Instagram – or if you feel very brave: make a TikTok video of your location. Chat with your company travel consultant to make sure Wi-Fi is included in your stay.

5. Take the kids – and hubby – along for the ride

Are you still feeling a bit apprehensive about leaving your family behind? There’s a simple solution, says Desai. Just take them along!

Bleisure travel has been proven to generate more productive meetings and better performance. With personal time on the horizon, employees are motivated to make the most of their time working when on business trips.

Of course, it’s not always possible to take everyone along. But if you can, a few days’ bleisure after your conference or meetings is a great way to leverage being a working mom.

Although it can be challenging to juggle business trips and raising children, it is also very rewarding. With the right travel experts at your side, business travel can be a fantastic part of any working mother’s life.

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Info shared by https://iafrica.com/