#the knowledge that he is imperfect and it's not necessarily bad

[eonadrift]

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ 𝐓𝐇𝐄   𝐏𝐔𝐏𝐏𝐄𝐓'𝐒   𝐁𝐎𝐃𝐘

ㅤㅤㅤas   a   divinely   created   puppet   -   hachidori   is   both   lovely   and   increasingly   durable.   crafted   entirely   from   elementally   imbued   porcelain,   hachi's   form   is   suitable   for   channeling   vast   amounts   of   elemental   energy   and   withstanding   various   aggressive   forms   of   combat.   while   he   was   crafted   with   tangible   joints,   they   typically   do   not   show   up   unless   he   is   utilizing   that   elemental   energy,   in   which   case   they   will   glow   alongside   his   eyes.   originally,   it   was   electro   -   now,   it   is   anemo.

ㅤㅤㅤhachidori   prefers   a   distant   style   of   combat,   where   scara   preferred   the   blade.   this   mostly   has   to   do   with   the   fact   that   scara   was   reckless   but   still   calculated   -   where   as   hachidori   relies   more   on   his   speed.   additionally,   this   is   also   because   treating   injuries   is...   tedious.   

ㅤㅤㅤhachi's   body   does   not   cut   and   bleed   like   a   human's   form   -   rather   it   will   chip   and   crack,   or   develop   fissures   -   not   unlike   damaged   pottery.   taught   upon   creation   how   to   mend   his   wounds   (which   he   can   still   very   much   feel   pain   from),   the   wanderer   utilizes   'kintsugi.'   kintsugi   is   the   art   of   repairing   broken   pottery   with   "lacquer   dusted   or   mixed   with   powdered   gold,   silver,   or   platinum."   in   this,   the   breakage   becomes   a   history   of   the   object   -   rather   than   something   to   hide.   unfortunately   for   hachi,   however,   unless   his   wound   is   especially   grievous,   the   divinely   made   body   of   his   still   tends   to   hide   what   he   has   repaired,   though   in   certain   lighting   the   veins   are   not   hard   to   see   in   some   parts   of   him.   

ㅤㅤㅤthis   process   is   rather   tedious   -   though   not   painful,   and   should   hachi   allow   someone   to   assist   him   with   it,   it   would   be   an   expression   of   utmost   trust   and   intimacy.   

ㅤㅤㅤin   terms   of   visible   scarring   -   as   stated   above,   the   kintsugi   leaves   no   real   signs   upon   him   (much   to   his   chagrin)   save   in   certain   circumstances.   for   the   most   part,   he   appears   to   be   flawless   -   save   for   the   scarring   upon   his   back   and   nape.   there,   one   might   find   the   circular   rings   from   where   he   was   strung   to   shouki   no   kami.   he's   not   particularly   sensitive   about   them,   but   any   touch   in   their   direction   will   cause   him   to   flinch   away.   this   area   he   has   tried   to   rid   himself   of   multiple   times   -   however,   it   never   seems   to   fade,   much   to   his   displeasure.

[crooked-wasteland]

How I Came to Love the Bomb: Mammon's Musical Special and the Spectacle of Mediocrity

A little more than halfway through the second season, Helluva Boss has finally found its place where it performs best: embracing its own mediocrity with an emphasis on shallow storytelling and a narrative death spiral that only serves to strip the world and characters of depth every time they are engaged with. It’s almost disappointing to see how highly rated this episode is by fellow critics solely because of the superficial aspects that add nothing to the plot, nor do these scenes affect change in the characters. It is far from the worst episode, but it has every major narrative flaw from every previous episode inside of it, that seems to get a pass because it's a “Special” and not necessarily expected to progress the main series in any way. My counterpoint is that an episode that is self-contained should then be able to narratively progress a character, if not the plot, which Medrano and her team continues to fail to accomplish.

To make my points concise, I will alternatively deconstruct the episode as is while including a general rewrite of how Medrano could have accomplished the same story with any shred of competence.

The narrative needs to skip around a bit, so, starting from the present, FizzaRolli is in a frenzied state of distress while looking for his foundation to hide his imperfections. It is far from a subtle metaphor of Fizz requiring the image of perfection while being “broken” underneath. It isn’t in any way revolutionary from the setup to the execution, though that isn’t to insinuate it is bad because it is unoriginal. Arguably, nothing is. But this scene establishes the major conflict throughout the episode, that being FizzaRolli's self-esteem. The issue is, this scene is a contradiction from the actual cold opening.

FizzaRolli and Blitz going to the Mammon show sets up the entire backstory premise of FizzaRolli’s climb to fame, but presents a confusing representation of what Fizz’s self-esteem issues are. There are generally a ton of problems with this opening on a systemic scale. Why is the circus so run down if FizzaRolli’s shows are so popular that he has a fanclub as a teenager? Why is it the audience is supposed to be invested in FizzaRolli’s self-esteem about being good enough when every external indicator in the episode shows Fizz as already being at the top of his game. The star of the circus, his own obsessive fanclub, winning Mammon’s clown pageant and being the “Host with the Most” for Ozzie’s shows a character who has maintained a very consistent rise to fame. Shoehorning in a singular and random nobody claiming Fizz is overrated after fawning all over him doesn’t warrant the tearful meltdown he has associated with his abilities, nor would it warrant the shaky sense of esteem he apparently keeps with him the entire rest of his life. Even in Oops, it's Blit’s insinuation of FizzaRolli being a sugar baby pet of Ozzie’s that upsets him, not any jab at Fizz’s abilities.

The alternative version that would have made all of this make sense would have been not questioning FizzaRolli’s ability to do, but the crushing weight of expectation to continue to succeed. The fear of having “peaked”. It’s why he can both be at the top and severely anxious. The knowledge that once you’re at the top, there is an awfully long way to fall would have made far more sense than Fizz questioning his actual ability to get to where he is. The reason Fizz can’t be obtuse to his popularity and fame is because of every other episode we have actively seen him revel in it. Just the episode prior he is so confident in his status that he shows off ostentatiously with a limo decked out in phallic shaped sparklers and even says that it's nice not to be a recognized celebrity after that display. It’s clear that being “good enough” is not a long-standing fear for Fizz’s character, but that it should have been the pressure to keep being “good enough”. This misinterpretation of what their own character’s weaknesses are, and said weakness being the plot, is the root of the obnoxious weed that has strangled the show from the beginning.

Once again, I also can’t help but point out the lack of information on Tilla is still a huge problem with this storyline. For a character whose existence is the inciting incident for the entire series:

1) Blitzo meets Stolas to “help” his mom, being the inciting incident for the entire series to this point.

2) Tilla’s implied death in the fire is why Blitzo lost his family as a whole

3) Tilla’s implied illness is why it makes implied sense that money was never used to make the circus better/safer so the fire never happened despite FizzaRolli being so popular that he has a rabid fanbase so he must be making the circus substantial money, which Cash even claims when he is a child.

As I said, this episode is merely the accumulation of every other episode’s main problems put front and center. It’s almost an exercise in self denial to limit the number of tangents that my arguments could go down.

Regardless, the insecurity in the flashback sequence of FizzaRolli and Blitz is fundamentally not the same insecurity as seen in the rest of the episode. Not only does it not make sense for the character, it makes no sense for the storyline up to this point.

Then there is the confusion that supersedes the plot: the timeline. It is nothing new for Medrano to lack a clear definition of her own narrative; linking The Circus with Loo Loo Land was one of the most egregious misunderstandings of her own story that generally derailed the escalation of the relationship between Stolas and Blitz and required the assassination plot to be unwritten. So this episode puts us back in that exact same position by having it be that somewhere between this episode’s flashback and the accident from Oops, FizzaRolli went through puberty, won the pageant, got prosthetics, went through rehab and instantaneously exploded in fame. It is a miserably scrambled mess of events that just necessitates the practice the writers obviously utilized to get to this point: Don’t think about it.

Fizz had to have won the Clown Pageant before he got his prosthetics because he has his prosthetics. It's clear they were designed and built by Asmodeus so he would have needed connections with a Sin before that. Fizz linking his romantic relationship to Ozzie with his business relationship with Mammon specifies how that connection was made. As such he needed to win the pageant BEFORE the accident, so regardless of Fizz entering the first ever pageant or a subsequent one, it doesn’t change the complications of the timeline.

Back to the story issues at hand, Asmodeus is very clear that he would prefer if FizzaRolli would not attend the Clown Pageant that year. The fact that he has Fizz’s foundation in hand to give insinuates that Ozzie was actively hiding the makeup from his partner to keep him from going in the first place. Regardless of how much one would prefer to read character into these actions, it makes it very clear that Ozzie is not impressed by Fizz’s participation and he tries everything imaginable to talk the jester out of it, just short of forcibly locking him in their home. FizzaRolli makes the claim in this scene that being in the pageant is for himself and not Ozzie’s opinion of him, only for that to not be the case come the emotional turn of the narrative. When the reason Fizz breaks away from Mammon isn’t because he has any confidence in himself, but because Ozzie would love him anyway contradicts the entire setup. It additionally weakens Fizz’s resolve and the meaning behind his rejection of Mammon by making it not at all about him and all about the relationship. It isn’t FizzaRolli overcoming a codependency, but merely reassigning the target of it from Mammon to Asmodeus. Which, in terms of the beginning, is his brokenness. He never fixes that metaphors, just that it is okay now which is never the case with codependency.

Then there is the pointless addition of Blitz’s to the story. Unlike the Theft subplot in The Circus where it felt like some kind of repercussion should have come from the event due to its inciting nature, Blitz’s presence in this episode is purely unnecessary. Which falls back into how Medrano and Spindlehorse fail to optimize time and animation (and thus funds) in the show.

There was absolutely a way to have this episode work with only the most minor of changes that would have overwhelmingly shifted the plot and made all these elements cohesive. This is why I state this is one of the worst episodes, but that this is probably the best Helluva Boss will ever be able to achieve moving forward. It isn’t a means of insulting Medrano and the team by calling this episode incompetent, it is merely stating a fact. The issue with this episode is that it is incompetent and this is why:

As previously stated, the episode needed to keep a clear focus on the nature of Fizzarolli’s self esteem issues. They put their money on the wrong horse in practice, but just a slight contextual shift would have rectified those problems. Still have the episode play out generally the same

I personally do not like how one dimensional the antagonists are in this episode. The clown competitors deserve to have some dignity and be defined as something other than “bitch”. I am pained every time a female character in this show gets boiled down to that one word. There is a major difference between a character being “bitchy” and a character just being a “bitch”. It's demeaning to women, makes them one dimensional, devalues feminine competitiveness and ambition to being a personality flaw. It is agonizing to witness it happening over and over again.

Have Fizzarolli become progressively overwhelmed by his need to be the best and seeing younger and fresh new talent threatening his status. Not necessarily because Mammon or Ozzie would replace him, but because of his fear of losing value in himself due to equating it with his professional popularity. Have Blitz be a voice of concern about FizzaRolli’s declining mental health. Play into that relationship they started building in Oops by having Blitz say something along the lines of “This isn’t you.” Go back to the line in Oops about how he demands to know if the sex thing is all Fizz is about anymore and show that, actually, no, it isn’t.

Stepping back a bit, it feels highly inappropriate to include a child in this episode when placed in context with the show. Especially a disabled child where this merely feels like a manipulation ploy by the creators that shocks the moment out of being a true emotional connection.

For one, the pageant and Fizzarolli’s performance prior to this scene has been rather sexual, additionally the sexualization of the entire performance starts with the designs for the girls in the competition and merely becomes more overt from there. It is obvious this isn’t a show for a child as young as the one depicted, maybe a teenager, but not a child. The argument can be made that it is Hell and whatever, the show’s sense of values oscillate based on what reaction the creators are seeking to elicit from the audience. The choice of having the character be deaf is simply the cherry on top of what the purpose of this character was: Brownie points. This entire sequence is solely to garner praise for representation and animation instead of playing any narrative role or being impactful to the characters. It isn't even a deep representation, but one that disappears once they feel they did enough to earn that adulation, utilizing a real disability real people live with as a means of creating attention and praise for themselves.

Instead, this scene should have focused on the poor kid who was thrown out. It could have been a group of kids who shouldn’t be there in the first place due to their age and lack of money, allowing the deaf child to remain in the story and have a more meaningful impact. Start the scene with FizzaRolli being obviously uncomfortable with his older fans and how this life he has been working to achieve and maintain actually isn’t what he wants. Having this scene after a moment where Blitzo tells Fizz, “You haven’t changed that much. I know you, and this isn’t you.” could really show how stressful Fizz’s job is because he doesn’t belong there.

Use the kids being tossed out or shooed away as the inciting factor for why Fizz gains his confidence.

The biggest problem with the deaf child scene is that the interaction lacks any depth. FizzaRolli doesn’t break through his own insecurities by engaging with the child, instead it is cut short and the scene is immediately forgotten with the comedic villain from the beginning interrupting the moment and the kid proceeds to vanish, no longer useful to the creators.

This should have been the moment when FizzaRolli had his emotional turn.

Remove the Ozzie scene in the back room entirely and have Fizz engage with the kids. Ask them their names and what their interests are. Treat them like people and not just props. Having Fizz be poor growing up himself, have them connect on that. Growing up in an adult world with nothing and being unwanted unless they are useful for some greedy or selfish adult. Have Fizz rekindle his genuine love for performing through the kids and wanting to give them the best performance, because he sees how he inspires them. Added with the (admittedly inconsistent) world building that Imps are socially regarded very lowly, it brings power to Fizz’s position and resolve to be the performer who would have inspired himself when he was a kid.

Following that scene, have Fizzarolli cut the Meet and Greet short and run back to his dressing room where Blitz is and have Fizz ask Blitz to perform with him like when they were younger, incorporating Blitz’s presence in the story more fully and allowing their relationship to progress from the previous episode. This allows Fizz’s song to feel empowering because it is coming from him and inside himself, not because his buff boyfriend is just behind the curtain to protect him. It would legitimately be Fizz risking something in the process of rediscovering himself and reclaiming his identity as well as reconcile Fizz’s past with his present to merge a new future.

This isn't even touching on the super public reveal of the one secret Ozzie and Fizz are supposed to be living under that has been proven not to matter seeing as how many demon nobility are dating the "lowest" of commoners in this universe. Additionally, people have already known about the Ozzie and Fizz relationship based on the newspaper, so, again, having the resolution being "true love" and the reason everything is okay at the end being about a romantic relationship just further reaffirms the implied belief that the creators think codependency is romance and relationships can replace a personality.

The point being that these changes don’t fundamentally alter anything from the episode while creating a stronger character for FizzaRolli and progressing the larger story. It would have also been a moment for Blitz to grow as well and set up the starting point of a turn for his character too. It could have rehabilitated the worst parts of Seeing Stars and additionally worked on Blitz’s self esteem issues vicariously, showing how bettering yourself can also improve those around you. It also wouldn't have taken much to make these changes in the writing and editing process because these problems are so glaringly obvious and simply required a couple more eyes on the script to make it something good.

So the only reason it failed to identify any of these weaknesses can only be chalked up to pure incompetence. And excuse me if I guild the lily for a moment, but if these slight changes were missed for how they would have benefitted the characters and elevated the story, then there is no reason to believe or hope the writing will ever get better.

Helluva Boss has peaked.

[demonzoro]

1, 5, 21 for sanji !!!

HI ASH !!! HEHE

1. Why do you like or dislike this character?

there are sooo many interesting tensions/contradictions in him - it's like someone handed me a mess of wires to untangle. i'm obsessed with how his character commentates on compassion and love, and how he achieves both extremes of wide-smiled wonder and bone-shattering brusqueness. he hasn't let anything go EVER - everything indelibly leaves a mark on him while he plays this untouchable persona. his over-the-top ideas about romance given context by a childhood where he was mostly unloved. his stupid round head. unfortunately i'm obsessed w him.

5. What's the first song that comes to mind when you think about them?

RUNAWAY by half•alive !!! i play little dream animatic in my head of sanji every time this song comes on.

21. If you're a fic writer and have written for this character, what's your favorite thing to do when you're writing for this character? What's something you don't like?

my FAVE thing to do ... is to write about the way he loves or views love through little details or self-critiques. sanji talks a big game about wanting a grand fairytale romance, but i think the way he loves are in small, inexorable, everyday acts that don't always go noticed. i love writing the realisation that maybe he does want a grand love but a perfect fairytale one would feel hollow. the knowledge that he's imperfect going hand-in-hand with the knowledge that is not necessarily a bad thing, just as a love (romantic and non-romantic) with its hurdles and highs is a full and wonderful thing. so ending up with the strawhats is ... probably the best place for him to be :]

what i don't like ... is that i find myself taking very roundabout routes in narration when i speak in his voice. there are so many layers of repression to navigate and portray faithfully ... and i'm already bad at avoiding prose rabbit-holes for one-track mind characters like zoro LOL

*

send me a character + a number from 1-26!

[ygsunflower]

Another unpopular Station 19 opinion of mine-

Contrary to many who have taken a liking on Chief Ross, I still dislike her. Mostly for her “hypocritical” views on sexism and double standards within the SFD system. I loved seeing her handling the SPD in the police brutality episode, and what she said to the SFD union about “the boys club ways” was absolutely on point. But with how she treated Maya, especially what she said to Maya about being insubordinate yet praising Andy for the exact same quality… I’m just failing to understand that both Andy’s and Sullivan’s actions were clearly against the rule/protocol, but how come Ross was oaky with them but not with Maya breaking rules to save a child?! [Excuse me for going on a tangent here, but Maya freaking saved a child’s life and helped taking down a trafficking ring breaking the rules while Ross offering Andy the captaincy for leading a mutiny, and Sullivan, who she promoted, was a drug addict who overdosed on drugs he stole from the PRT. I’m not here disagreeing with Andy’s action, nor to say that drug addiction makes Sullivan a bad person and thus forever irredeemable. Absolutely not.]

I know Maya also went on blackmailing her, but to my knowledge, that happened long after she got shut down by Ross about her demotion hearing? Not defending Maya, that girl clearly went off the wagon, and I’m glad she’s finally getting some professional help. She acknowledged how she went about the issue wrong and it almost cost her her life. That is a character growths I love seeing.

Anyways, with all these previous records, I have a hard time truly believing that this current Ross is sincerely advocating for SFD systemic change about racism, sexism, etc. All I see is a person who uses these arguments to benefit herself. Clearly I am biased, and I’m not all that invested in Ross’ storyline, so I could be totally off on reading the character. However, I just started rewatching the show, so maybe I’ll change my view on her after the rewatch?!

As much as I can’t stand Ross talking about the double standards she faced from the SFD system [again, not discrediting her being treated unfairly by the system], I still hope this character sticks around on the show. Even though I don’t like her, I still want to see more imperfect characters, especially imperfect or hard to like complex female of color characters. In my eyes, Natasha Ross is someone who’s been in the unjust and unfair system for way too long. Even though she’s aware of herself being treated as less than an equal most of her career and wants to change the system because of it, she still has a hard time actually follow through with that when her personal interests weren’t on the line. She’s a victim of the unjust system, but in a way, she’s also an enforcer/subscriber to the said system. And on top of that, Ross is a proud & ambitious woman who will do what it takes to get what she wants. I so appreciate having this type of complex “grey” characters on television.

With how the story goes, I hope as she struggles to fight her own battle against the SFD patriarchy, she’d eventually come to the realization that how she treated Maya was also perpetuating the same toxic old ways. I hope to see them both apologizing, and reconcile to the point that Ross can stop being hostile to Maya. [I’m only saying this because in 6x15, Maya seems to know that she crossed a line blackmailing her and was nervous about seeing Ross while Ross still didn’t think much of Maya and was very harsh on her. Not blaming Ross because of Maya’s previous actions and Ross might not necessarily aware of Maya’s change of heart. But so far Maya has done all the apologizing and self loathing/guilt confessions, she deserves to have her being treated and bullied unfairly apologized or at least acknowledged by the enforcer/enabler.] I hope to see Ross reinstate Maya somehow. Maya was a good captain to be in such leadership positions. I also want her and Ross to become a healthy pair of nemeses. Their ambitious and disciplined natures are a lot alike, and seeing more women in leadership respecting while competing against each other in a healthy way on tv can never hurt. I’d like to think that Maya and Ross can keep each other on their toes on the job. And once in a while when they have to work together, they’d form a solid work partnership because of their no-bullshit/get-the-job-done work ethic.

[I didn’t include Andy in this conversation because the current writings of the show only focused on building up the drama and conflicts between Maya and Ross.]

[booksandchainmail]

Pale 8.8 extra

“I, um, I don’t think it’s a bad thing.  Even if Tashlit isn’t a perfect fit, isn’t she the Other we can trust most?  We could use more of that.”

it looks like Verona's endorsement counted for more than she thought, which could be good if it means she feels more loyal towards the girls than her sponsors. And we know she wasn't involved in the murder, and nor was she picked out by one of the Kennet Others

Lis manifested in an all-girls private school in Quebec and she came out fighting in her own way. The climate she arose in was one of backstabbing & sabotage & bitterness and she blended into that crowd and poured fuel on the fires.

oh that's a rough start for anyone. The description of the downsides of Wallflower Doppelgangers is reminding me of a character from a book called Zeroes, who had two-way crowd-based empathy, where she could feel a group's emotions or project her own onto them. The difficulty was that if she lost control, or if the group was overwhelmingly large, she'd wind up just amplifying what they were feeling as her own emotions got overwritten by theirs, then projected back out. IIRC she had to drop out of school and avoid places like sports games to avoid starting riots.

Two groups of witch hunters banded together to try to sort through the mess and the three hundred students in attendance and she joined the collective witch hunters with each group thinking she was a member of the other.

sounds like someone needs some master-stranger protocols

And I don’t like that the Other with a serious body count of innocents and maybe-good-guys is that close to two people we don’t necessarily trust

... I would not count witch hunters as "maybe-good-guys"

“Lucy, when you grabbed our bags, did you pack Cherry?”

welp.

“No!  Aaa!  No, Snowdrop is coolest!”

aww. Touching especially considering how much of their friendship i Cherry trying and failing to dunk on Snowdrop

When we left that day it was with the added company of Kennet’s Anima Corporeal. The spirit of the city made flesh.

oh awesome. I love genius loci things.

Ken is surprisingly political and seized on the small amount of power he had as a newcomer to the council & as a representative for the citizenry. He is vocal with his opinion and yet has little to no ambitions in leadership (preferring to complain rather than do…).

so far I'm picturing the spirit of Kennet as one of those people who writes in endless letters to the local paper, and shows up at all town hall meetings to complain about new construction. Which feels appropriate for a small town

4) The tourist end is a bit scattered & eternally hopeful but anyone who lives here will acknowledge it is only useful or awake a portion of the year.

lol

I'm trying to think the split would be for my hometown: probably college instead of tourism, and no industrial section... maybe farming?

How on Earth do you think that a distillation of our crummy, struggling little town is going to be anything other than imperfect and prone to dragging things out, and dragging them down?  It’s unvarnished society as an Other and society’s the thing that needs about a thousand sharp kicks in the ass to get to a better place.

contrast here between Matthew liking Ken because Kennet is a place that he loves, and the girls have more complicated feelings. I think that's how it tends to go with places you grow up? For me at least I cared more about where I grew up when it became a place I could choose to return to

“I can’t help but wonder about the moves they’re making.  It feels like we made a certain move by going off to school.  And we did that because of Miss, a bit.”

another possible nefarious motivation for sending them to school: it gets the girls out of the way (at what sounds like it was a critical time)

She has a keen understanding of Others and how Others are put together and knows her way around practice like Maricica knows her way around illusion.

potentially a big threat, but also a possible source of knowledge

I’m texting him and asking if Crooked Rook is an Oni who has warred with practitioners but is mostly cool with us again like the ones Yadira’s family sort of worked with… or if she’s an Oni who was a part of all that and really hates practitioners.

oooh. Lucy is once again doing the liveblog's work

“I don’t think we can or should, Ave.  He’s a jerk and he did it to himself as much as anything but we played a part and not becoming one of the really awful practitioners means carrying that.”

I think Bristow and Alexander were both very good at putting anything they felt bad about behind them. Though by the time we meet them they're past feeling bad about morality.

[pilgrimsofworship]

The Giver 1993

reading progress: (start: 1/17/23) (finish: 1/19/23) pages: 306

⚠️ spoiler alert ⚠️

(my thoughts... aka imperfect book review)

With upright honesty, I am never very good at the fine art of crafting a good book review, (would this even count for one? idk how it works)

but then I will try to pour my heart as truly as I can as I comment on this book, with very little worry about my wording, if it is "too simple" or inadequate from a critique's perspective, and what not. After all, I am writing this to myself and not for the audience of many. Just so I can look back and consider the recollections I had of reading this book.

Ill start with what I think.

I hadn't read a book for so long now, so it is incredibly hard to not be biased, knowing I have read very few books in my 19 yrs of lyf  (in comparison to avid readers that I know), but what I must say is that this is my first dystopian sci-fi novel that I have read, and I really liked it. I am glad that I made a decision to explore beyond my usual go-to book genre.

All things settled, this book produced emotions for me that I can vaguely describe. It was something strong; describing them would comprise pity, longing for justice, loneliness, and utmost curiosity. I was very invested in the world-building and the themes and plot of the story. It had at most challenged my imagination, because I have always thought that I lacked in that part. It really diminished my perception of "not liking fiction" altogether. This book produced a lot of emotions that were not necessarily happy, but I enjoyed reading it and letting those emotions seep in. No wonder now, I somehow relate to that very usual phrase to a person who has read the book firsthand, the phrase "read the book, its so much better." after knowing i had only watched the adaptation. I saw some parts of the movie, but it's not as good as the experience of reading it firsthand. It certainly takes your mind on an adventure. 

(Sorry for ranting about my reading pov experience; it's way too obvious now that I don’t usually read so many books. xD)

The pain in the story... Where it’s a place of rules, and every little decision and will of a person is decided and tasked so meticulously (I don't know if its a totalitarian approach; once again, my knowledge has failed me, xD), it’s a place where everything is altogether too predictable. Where everything is chosen for you, and there are rules and higher people governing over you to provide the best "community", devoid of pain and quarrel, devoid of choice and risks, but also devoid of love and hope. Complete blandness, all the sameness, and grey...

Jonas, once an ordinary boy, had been chosen in this community to be their receiver of memory. So he now has access to all those memories of good and bad, just so his community won't have to suffer for them, and I liked the irony of it, because obviously, you can't just learn what love is if you don’t know what pain and loss are, so there are always two sides to a coin: you either have it all or you have nothing. What I really liked was the unmasking of the truth part, where Jonas realizes after he's received all the memories that he's been living in a bleak, false world all along, and this isn't what he wants, especially when he knew what "release" meant. Jonas would've lived his life like it anyway if he didn’t receive those memories, but suddenly now he wants to make a difference. We can be really blinded by what we've grown to, so much that our identity has been affixed to it,  that it is very hard to let go of what we've always been used to. But when the truth hits you in the face, there's a monumental change that happens inside of you, and it’s the breakthrough of receiving the new-found truth that changes your perception about everything. You suddenly realize that the choice is in your hands: should you stay and wish everything to be back to "normal"?  or face the unknown path of the truth that shines its glorious light, waiting for you to behold?

"You never really realize you are blinded by the truth until you get to see what's on the other side."

I was a bit confounded by the ending, as it was once again the choice of having two sides of the coin.

"The end of The Giver is open to interpretation. Some readers believe that Jonas and Gabriel are able to escape, and they sled into a new community. Others interpret the final scene as a dying hallucination of Jonas's that was triggered by the first memory The Giver gave him."

There's so much more that needs to be said, but I think that’s all I have for now.

[tiramisiyu]

hi tira, im new to tear of themis and have recently heard about the game!!! first off, thank you so much for translations ;w; they are very very helpful 💖 i wanted to ask though, who the boys are in terms of personality??? if,, that makes sense wah,,, they all look very handsome but still very confused about who they are as people. im very interested in vyn specifically because he seems very mysterious to me. sorry for the weird ask aaaaaaa pls ignore if rude,,,

Hi! Below is a quick summary of what they've displayed from the closed beta, and under the cut I'm going to be going into a more detailed list on their personalities based on the CN server's content~ (although keep in mind that this is only from my perspective which means that my knowledge is heavily weighted towards Xia Yan and might not be as well rounded for the other three hahaha)

From Closed Beta:

Xia Yan/Luke: the sunshiny childhood friend who's hiding many things

Zuo Ran/Artem: the work senior everyone looks up to and fears, but actually has a gentle and awkward side

Mo Yi/Vyn: the refined, polite man with a tendency for jealousy and wanting to present his best side

Lu Jinghe/Marius: a cottequish, smug young artist who's simultaneously carrying the weight of his family's heavy legacy

From the CN Server:

Xia Yan:

Sunshiny side, yes, but he really only shows that to MC. He's polite and mature with most people and can be casually sarcastic with friends.

He's a... very selfless person who tries to take on everything himself if he can... 😢

His development right now focuses on handling the many things he's hiding, and how he gradually shifts from trying to handle everything alone

And then there's his "Raven" side oh my god. Super hot. When facing dangerous people, he gets reaaally scary and it's amazing to watch.

Indulgent with his pet myna bird

Good at everything, except for love~ (this is not an exaggeration)

Zuo Ran:

Well as far as I can tell, he still maintains those aspects displayed in the closed beta. Zuo Ran is what I consider to be the most straightforward in terms of personality between the four guys - not a good or a bad thing, just an observation.

Straightforward development of getting to know MC and getting closer

Sir pls stop reading that book, you're great as you are

A very considerate man!

Writes movie reviews, likes movies

Swims, shoots guns, likes speedy driving... likes bridge

Good at staying calm in a bad situation, as expected of a top lawyer like him

Mo Yi:

Dude is quite the complex character, I don't think I can adequately sum him up and most of the points I can put down is thanks to other friends' analyses on him

He tries to put on his best face forward, a man who is refined and highly capable

A lot of his development has to do with realizing that imperfection is not necessarily a bad thing, and that it's alright to go beyond what he's skilled at

The most prone to jealousy in the team, such that he's called 醋王 in the CN fandom - "King of Jealousy" (literally King of Vinegar)

Something I like to note about him is how he believes that law cannot adjudicate all, in contrast with the main cast's two lawyers

Lu Jinghe:

He's got lots going on

He's at heart an artist and a dreamer, but his heavy family identity pulls him down to earth

He's quite a selfless person - he takes on the mantle of Pax CEO at such a young age because he feels that his dad deserves a rest... and his brother is [redacted]. Simultaneously, he tries to help out other artists if possible, knowing that a position of power like his can be used for good things, even if it's not necessarily a good thing for himself

Cottequish and sly with MC (unless if MC can land a verbal attack back)

When the NXX boys argue, he's probably the one who gets bullied most haha

Impressively mature and professional as the CEO, and can be quite imposing

[aiohon12]

Top 5 animals! Top 5 Fate characters 😊

Oh golly! Hmm my top five animals. My animals are hard to choose! But here they are! Giraffes were in mine but bunnies are cuter!

1. Wolves/dogs

2. Cows

3. Horses

4. Platypuses

5. Rabbits

Dogs are in the wolf section hopefully! 😅

My favorite fate characters top 5 are -drum roll please !

1. Gilgamesh: he's the king of heroes and one of the reasons I got into fate (besides Rin) he has so many flaws that it makes you like him. Especially his arrogance his greatest flaw. His pride and self importance, he Carrie's himself a character and how his speeches are really inspiring and full of wise quotes I actually like his way of speech as well. The king himself is also extremely wealthy, he take what he wants and not necessarily gets it. He's powerful king who had everything but he had isolation, though he found a friend Enkidu he learn of friendship. But as character his sheer stubbornness and arrogance is what I like him it makes him flawed person and even though he thinks he's perfect he isn't he's imperfect man. Plus he's highly attractive🌸 but also his caster self is amazing I love his mature version and he's wiser in that form. Caster Gilgamesh is version of Gilgamesh of how would be if he would return as wise king and ruled over humans as wise king (although it's not fate series main Gil, it's spin off version fgo Gilgamesh) I still love both version though. Oh note Gilgamesh also loves to see people pushing to their limits and do their best he actually is respectful in some sense because Iskhander I like their interactions it was very kingly thing of Gilgamesh.

2. Rama: though he's young king he's also very kind, and has sense of innocence in my opinion. All he wants to see his wife Sita it's so cute his devotion to his wife and he's only 16! I love his demeanor and his overall personally, he's not a greedy king like Gilgamesh or arrogant either. He like the opposite and caring personality. His compassion and devotion is incredible. PS his noble phatasm is also cool to me and he's a saber class, he's very adorable in my eyes. He's not bad a king but he's truly kind boy and very respectful it's one my reasons why he's on the list.

3. Rin Tohsaka: she my all time gal in fate and I think her color scheme amazing. It's cute she a tsundere but not the annoying type of ones I seen in many anime. She cares about her sister from afar and actually does things to help others, she very good teacher as well and love her relationship with the other characters and her dad too. She well balance character compare to the others, she knowledgeable and she willing to help, even it means to risk it or sacrifice what she wants but it's all for the better of others and situation. Level-headed and she may seem popular among her peers but she actually very magi who wants to live normal life and she thinks Sakura had a better one (even though it's the opposite at least I think tbh) Rin is going to be on the top five list, and just love her design as well, she is strong and independent girl why would not like her?

4. Medea: honestly I'm not surprise she is on this list, she had sad story to begin with and I thought her cunning and intelligence got her into this list. All she wants is to go home that's all she wants nothing more, but in order to do that she will anything even use souls to power up. I love her sheer will and cautious, yet manipulative nature has charm me in some ways and she also very pretty though others might steer clear from her because she is known to be a witch due to her past and nature. Medea just wants to go home and be free and somewhere a place where she belongs, a loving place to call home. Though I don't support her with the Rin's teacher (master and servant relations in general) she had her reasons why she doing what she did in fate stay night routes. I like the fact she actually has magic like Gilgamesh they both are from the age of gods where true magic exists , she doesn't need to have this "fake" magic or imitation of it. She's the real Deal, she even made Saber her servant even though servants can't actually get the grail because they are used to get it for the masters unless the master grants the servants wish. Medea has strong standing in her actions which is why she is very interesting character in my eyes.

5. Irisviel von einzbern: another character from fate zero/besides Gilgamesh who super popular but one of reasons why I like her so much was Iri she had such amazing personality and pretty and I shipped her so hard with her husband Kiritsugu and makes them such lovely couple. Though he was cold to her at times he knew she would sacrifice herself eventually and she wasn't human she was homunculus. But her husband taught her many things where she learn human emotion which made her on the list! I love her sweet her caring personality, she also positive and curious whic makes her so cute, though she has sad ending she still made an impact on Kiritsugu where her love and devotion didn't go to waste and what she continue to fight with his ideals to save people. She stand out as a character because of her strong will and her compassion for others. I think her true joys was her family and I also like Saber and her relationship very respective. I still like her as one my top fave girls in fate series.

That's all my favorite folks. It was hard to choose few except for 3 of them 👀

[phoneybeatlemania-bit-the-dust]

I read an interview where Linda said she loved Paul but if he didnt treat her right she'd take the kids and leave and she also screamed at him to ne a man when he was in his depression slump. I think there's an idea that Paul walked all over her but that interview made me rethink. She's a lot tougher I reckon. I feel like Paul had no choice but to get his act together cause she would have left him in the dust if he didnt shape up.

*I should preface this by saying that im not the most knowledgeable when it comes to Linda and Pauls relationship - I know quite a bit about it, but this will definitely be one of my less informed takes.*

I tend to lean towards this belief too - though nothings cemented for me regarding my opinions on Paul and Lindas relationship, because I feel its quite difficult to gain a real insight into it. But it seems like Linda wasn’t the helpless figure that some people might view her as, to some degree.

I think that Paul was attracted to that independence Linda had about her; I guess if you wanted to get a little Freudian you could link it back to his mother, Mary, because she was effectively the breadwinner of the family. But even straying away from that, you can see that Linda wasn’t necessarily the most conventional woman. She didn’t wear makeup often, she didn’t shave her legs, she was a single mother, and she had established her own career. She was really just sort of doing her own thing (good for her!) and I remember Stella saying in an interview that she really admired how her mother was married to one of the most famous rockstars on the planet, and she rarely ever wore makeup. Linda was definitely a bit of bad bitch!

I think if Paul had expected just a broad, generic “wife” figure who he could just treat however he wanted too, he would not have got with Linda, because Linda just wasn’t that. It appears to me that Lindas self-assurance and independence is what perhaps attracted him to her in the first place. So personally I don’t really buy into the idea of Linda being helpless or anything - though from what ive read from other peoples blogs, I think the majority of people recognise her as a pretty independent figure.

Then again though, I think she’s only human - and so she probably did make sacrifices to her career in favour of her relationship, because whilst she was a really strong and independent personality, everybody will at some point falter, favouring another persons wants over their own. Thats just how relationships work really. But I think if there was something she really didn’t want to do, she probably just wouldn’t have done it; maybe im being idealistic here, but I think that if she really did not want to tour with Wings, I think she just wouldn’t have. I know some people might say she only toured with Wings to ensure Paul wasn’t cheating on her and to keep the family together, but I dunno, I think largely it was that she (and Paul) wanted a real family unit, and that meant keeping their family together, not just in a physical sense, but also in an emotional one too. (That last line was so corny, sorry!)

Overall, for all their faults, I think that they had a pretty healthy marriage. Ive made this point a few different times, but ill make it again: that Paul and Lindas children have grown up to be, from what I can tell, pretty mentally and emotionally stable and strong people, I personally think is a sign that they Paul and Linda were good parents; and a healthy and happy marriage is I think a vital role in good parenting (of course though, that is not to say single parents cant be good parents or anything - only that if you’re parents are gonna stay married, it is crucial they cooperate and aren’t bitter and resentful to one another, to provide a loving environment for their children)

So yeah - bit off topic (but we know im incapable of staying on topic lol) but yeah. I don’t think they had a fairytale ending or anything, but to me it appears that they had a happy and healthy marriage, albeit still an imperfect one. Pauls co-dependency and search for a maternal figure is still problematic, and im sure that there are other issues surrounding their marriage. But I guess everybody has baggage, so I dunno.

[reaperkaneki]

time for my impressions on olympia soiree! (disclaimer: i haven’t read all the short stories/gone through all the bad endings yet. i’m lazy. i have done all the good endings.)

olympia is a great non-action protagonist. she isn’t content to sit back and let a husband be chosen for her, nor is she able to let the various injustices she witnesses go unchallenged. if she had simply accepted the task given to her and solely focused on matchmaking, this would have been a dull game. instead, she becomes the driving force of the plot by, well, forcing others to enact change. her biggest flaws are that she’s got no self esteem as a result of douma being verbally abusive to her (and honestly, i wish that was addressed more because he’s an asshole!) and, being the last of her clan and the only one who can keep the sun shining, she’s been raised to be self-sacrificing. while she doesn’t tolerate abuse of others, she puts up with abuse to herself.

she’s much bolder than i thought she would be (and this is a statement echoed by most of the LIs lol). she’s deeply aware of her own inexperience and lack of knowledge and seeks to remedy that at any turn, willing to speak her mind regardless of consequence, and can’t turn down someone in need. and extra enjoyably, she’s a girl who knows what she wants; she’s shy and blushes easily, she hasn’t been in contact with other people in years, and yet when it comes time to it, she’s understandably embarrassed but still clearly states when she desires her partner.

on that note, there is a little spice! which is always appreciated. i like writing that is mature enough to not dance around the topic of sex (not that olympia’s situation allows for it, when the entire plot is her needing to procreate to continue her bloodline). seriously though, olympia fucks severely. you go girl. you gettem.

as for the lore, i’ll try to avoid spoilers, but it is very, very heavily japanese mythology based. there’s enough different from the typical telling of the myths that even if you know how it goes, it’s unclear how much of it sticks to the regular canon and how much diverges. so i would assume it plays upon a typical (japanese) player’s knowledge. however, this isn’t necessarily the case when localizing. a western audience has way lower chance of being familiar with japanese mythology offhand—which works fine too, because the majority of the characters also don’t know the myths, because this is not japan and the way their story is told is different. i would love to know if there’s a big difference in perception—dramatic irony for those familiar with japanese mythology, versus more surprising plot twists for those who are not.

the first four routes are available in whatever order you choose. once you’ve gotten the good ending for all of them, himuka’s unlocks, then finally akaza’s. each route has three endings: good end, bad end, and then a second bad end. all the bad ends have a CG attached; the second bad end of a guy’s route has its CG filed in olympia’s gallery for some reason.

getting a guy’s good ending unlocks a voiced character interview of him, as well as a short story with a CG. it also unlocks their voice for the menu (so when you go to select something, like starting a new game, a guy will have a little voice line commenting, usually telling you to pick him wink wink).

getting a bad end unlocks a short story memoir for a side character, and getting all the bad ends in a route unlocks the short story memoir for that guy. talking abt backstory, motivations, that sort of thing. it’s a journal-like wall of text that is voiced.

there’s also another voiced thing at the end of a route (i’m being deliberately vague bc its a pretty cool effect). these (and the menu lines) voice lines were originally not subtitled or translated (which was a pain in the ass and i ranted abt it on discord…) but aksys released an update for the title that, while imperfect (if the text is too long, its partially cut off) adds subtitles. i’m really glad they added it. if they hadn’t, while i’d still call it a good game, i’d hesitate to recommend the localization.

as is, i think it’s got a good balance between romance and plot, and thank fucking god the common route doesn’t take up the majority of the game. the routes actually have meat to them.

[davidmann95]

So you've talked a lot about Darkseid, but what about the other New Gods?

SO THIS HAS BEEN IN MY INBOX FOR ALMOST AS LONG AS THIS BLOG’S BEEN AROUND AND I JUST FINALLY FINISHED FOURTH WORLD

Well that sure was something. My musings on some major players that I either have substantial thoughts on, or where I especially think the majority consensus/interpretation has subsequently gotten them wrong (a state Kirby is well aware of, because a HUGE part of “Even Gods Can Die!” is him being frustrated at subsequent handlings of the characters even by 1984 mucking things up):

Orion: Perhaps the most hard-done by as a result of Kirby never being able to fully finish Fourth World as he had imagined it, as his character arc ends on a cliffhanger for a decade and is forced into a rapid completion later. When he emerges, while a warrior born he’s also every bit the classical, magnificent hero you expect to see in a superhero comic to try and overshadow his inner demons, while by the end of New Gods he’s embraced not only his true face (the OTHER face, as his father would put it) in the fight against Apokolips but the murderous, sadistic rage that is his birthright, reveling in inflicting agony and very much the berserker others have since portrayed him as. Surely as much a product of his trauma from a childhood on Apokolips (a detail frequently glossed over) and a sense of being unwanted as anything genetic, it’s ultimately unconditional love for him as he truly is in Hunger Dogs that lets him overcome his fear that he can’t be anything but a monstrous tool in service of better people than himself, and embrace ‘the tomorrow overture’. Even his anger has its righteous if tragic place as a primal force of upheaval: “It defies time! It stands firm against the hammers of change! It mocks life and defies death!” I won’t get to it for awhile yet, but very curious what Simonson does with him.

Lightray: Rules! He’s the closest the New Gods have to a traditional superhero, and it’s in that capacity that while a lousy warrior next to Orion (Kalibak thinks little of his attempt at fighting him, mockingly deeming him a “callow little killer”), his strength is in transformation: he makes himself light, he turns a tormented weapon into the glory boat, a machine armed against the New Gods into a weapon against Darkseid, Orion from a man alone into a friend. He’s not a warrior, but he’s the one who makes a better world worth waging war for and who might one day make such war unnecessary. Also he and Orion have definitely fucked.

Mister Miracle: Not WILDLY off the mark since, but it’s interesting that as I expect a result of JLI he’s been written so often since as an everymanish, relatable, bordering-on-comedic figure, when under Kirby he was very much the archetypal good guy. One often committed to freeing others as he had been freed himself, in the likes of Ted Brown and Shilo Norman, an avenue I’m surprised hasn’t been explored more often from what I’ve seen. Also worth noting: Darkseid declared the moment he got his hands on the kid that Granny would be twice as hard on him as others, and that it would eventually drive the boy away and let the war resume. Which not only indicates Darkseid’s understanding of the subtlety needed in control, but would seem to take Scott’s rebellion out of his own hands…except that at the moment of his escape Darkseid still offered him a choice, implored the boy to allow him to “complete the destruction of Scott Free – so you may live with the majesty that is the power of DARKSEID!” And instead he turned his back on his god and chose to be what he is.

Barda: Shockingly, great as she’s been since, her background is often severely mischaracterized. The shorthand is “love saved her and turned her from a servant of evil to a champion of good!”, but that’s…while not entirely wrong, a bad way of presenting it. When she leaves Apokolips initially, even after she starts hanging out with Scott Free and Oberson after having helped the former escape years earlier, she still believes in Darkseid. She fights and hates her former allies not because she’s turned against his vision of the universe (this is in fact a major aspect often overlooked - under Kirby Darkseid’s agents don’t simply fear him, they sincerely believe in him and his vision of how the universe works) but because she sees them as loathsome, brutish executors of his grand design. In short, she doesn’t think it’s the system that’s the problem, but a bunch of bad apples. It’s her experience with freedom and simple pleasures and life on Earth, her lingering guilt over the death of her friend Auralie as eventually manifested in her protection and training of Shiloh Norman, and yes, her eventual realized love for Scott, that brings her around to realizing she truly desires a life beyond what Darkseid can offer.

Forever People: Okay I actually don’t have a ton to say about the Forever People, though I do think they’re underrated and underutilized. Naive and in over their heads as the frequently are they’re also the best of their peers, believing in freedom and transformation and the potential of those around them to become better - their defining moment for me is when they reassure Sonny Sumo that having the power of the Anti-Life Equation doesn’t make him a monster. “Where we come from the Anti-Life Equation is one of many others–almost as awesome!! But they merely exist!! It’s we who live!!”

Metron: The big figure I haven’t really been able to crack. Machinery as not necessarily cold mechanization but extensions of ourselves and our souls, and able to nourish them in turn, is a big aspect of Fourth World, but Metron as the embodiment of mechanization and knowledge feels like not just an outsider as he’s framed but one who never quite became whatever Kirby had in mind for him, making his crucial role at the end of Hunger Dogs a bit of a non-sequitur for me. I’d be curious to hear what other people think.

Desaad: God Desaad’s been made boring. Not that he isn’t fairly one-dimensional under Kirby too, but his craft and awful glee as the god of torture isn’t just in strapping people to tables and poking them with unpleasant tools, it’s in manipulating their emotions and agonies to a fever pitch - he should be such an unsettling figure, and instead he’s a simpering helpless toady.

Highfather: Not a perfect figure, given how he’s framed with the likes of Fastbak, and the Forever People, and the Pact, willing to deploy fear as a weapon in the name of peace as Darkseid will use chaos in the name of a larger order, but always trying - as with Darkseid, an imperfect vessel of what he represents, but capable of growth and realization as a leader.

Steppenwolf/Heggra: Essential to understanding The Pact, they’re the old ways of the world and war, petty despots and warrior-kings, supplanted by fascism in Darkseid.

Darkseid: So I’ve discussed Darkseid before in terms of his broad use and ideas, but the very specific ways Kirby presented him have their own dimensions. In the world of superheroes he’s larger-than-life and often such in here too, but in rare moments, and by the end entirely as all artifice is stripped away? Kirby’s Darkseid is a profoundly human figure. He recognizes the irony that the Forever People believe in letting all be who they are, for that very need to fulfill himself is why he must pursue conquest (“And of course - that’s the pity of it!”). While he thinks to himself “Oh, how heroes LOVE to flaunt their nobility in the face of death! Yet THEY know better than most that war is but the COLD game of the BUTCHER!” he too believes in “Boldness! Risk! The raw meat of existence!” even as he consigns himself to the role of puppetmaster rather than warrior. He does or so he tells himself “no more than what HAS to be done!!” rather than indulging in cruelty for its own sake. He dresses up in ridiculous costumes for his schemes, he gets sarcastic, he recognizes honor and respects worthy foes, he feels love, he craves the laughter of a friend, he fears the obsolesce of his preferred way of doing things, he tells himself that should he achieve omnipotence others will find “eternal shelter”. He’s a person, one capable of a range of emotions, but he is the TIGER FORCE AT THE CORE OF ALL THINGS regardless…not because he is a mythic unstoppable force, but because every day he rises and believes in himself over all others, because there is a black hole within him that he can only hope dominance might fill regardless of what pain he finds in the process. But as Mister Miracle’s battle with the Lump foretold, when left truly alone over a world that is himself he will be only within “a self-made prison”, reflections of his own fear and agony.

[pepperful-qt]

hi can u write smth on like headcanons on what type of person would tsukki tendou iwaizumi and kenma crush on 👁👄👁

ooh funfun. this is something i do a lot for characters i write about to make the reader character realistic, so this is right up my alley :3 this focuses primarily on personality rather than physical types (with a small exception)

*just a heads up, this is LONG

the type of person they crush on w/ Tsukishima, Tendou, Iwaizumi, & Kenma

*****

Tsukishima

for Tsukki it wouldn’t necessarily be someone exactly like him, but they’d have definite similarities

they’d earn his respect before they’d get his heart

hands down this person needs to have a thick skin. i think generally Tsukki doesn’t outright insult or harshly tease (like with Hinata & Kags) the people he really cares about or has affection for (look at his relationship with Yamaguchi), but he is blunt and sometimes unintentionally snaps or is just straight up mean

if someone is easily affected by that, it’s a no go, sorry

not to say they couldn’t get their feelings hurt, and he would feel bad especially if his crush had already developed, but initially there would need to be a resistance or retort to that kind of thing. they’d understand that his words come from a place of both honesty and care, and any lashing out is just a result of stress and unresolved emotion

yeah he’d be attracted to intelligence and wit

part of me just thinks he enjoys mental stimulation and someone who can make him think not only piques his interest in the person but also makes him enjoy and look forward to spending time with them

at the same time, being able to enjoy comfortable silence is important too

and wit. he’d definitely tease someone he has a crush on though and i’ll tell you why

he has two goals: get them flustered or get them to smile/laugh genuinely

he’d love someone that can tease back, and makes him work for a reaction

and--this is important--makes him smile and laugh

speaks fluent sarcasm

not a pushover, and not afraid to call him out when he goes too far 

they probably have weird habits or specific tastes or something, which he picks up on as the perceptive guy he is occasionally he uses them as fodder for teasing

they’d be someone with layers ha shrek or with personas they switch between easily, like going from sweet to stone-faced roaster

to tack onto the mental stimulation, you know how Yachi said Tsukki treats everything logically and approaches his blocking like a difficult test question? to an extent the same would apply to that person

he’d be figuring out how they tick, what makes them laugh, etc, and in the process of that it turns into a different kind of interest

it takes him a bit to figure out why exactly he likes seeing their smile or spending time with them, or why he cares so much

a certain subtle air of confidence

i think Tsukki would appreciate music taste

someone who is caring and generous, but doesn’t make a big deal out of it

they’d quietly offer help to a classmate if they noticed they’re struggling, or bring back an extra drink for him from the vending machine like it’s the most casual thing in the world

someone that cares about themselves, but not obsessed with themselves

to quote a favorite song of mine: sweet with a mean streak (not mean really, but not afraid to bite back)

* * *

Tendou

simply put, it wouldn’t be any average person

there would be something about the person that initially caught his eye, something unique that makes them stand out just a little

examples of this could be: a sharp tongue, a book or manga they always have on their desk, a keychain, dyed hair, wearing headphones all the time (he wonders what they’re listening to)

these would be things that make him interested and start paying attention to the person, eventually even striking up a conversation

in terms of personality, I think he’d enjoy someone with a sense of humor. obviously we know he can get along with most people regardless of that (ushijima) even if not everyone understands him, but someone that isn’t thrown off by his dramatic personality and responds in kind would definitely excites him

he likes to chatter, so a good listener and/or someone that’s a good conversationalist would be great tbh

and i’ll just say it, if this person is a manga/anime fan, or just knowledgeable on pop culture in general immediate bonus points. shared passions are great

an acknowledging smile or greeting, especially before they’re acquainted, actually goes a long way bc he has a history of being shunned and mocked by his peers. just that simple kindness which is unfortunate that not treating someone like that would be seen as kind is really important to him before he realizes it

a huge thing i think for him is feeling comfortable being himself around them. that itself allows him to be more open with his emotions and actually develop a crush

so going back to humor and a teasing relationship, it would need to be the type that doesn’t insult things like looks or anything like that. he has a history of insecurity that is still probably present, even if he’s mostly dealt with it, but again, being comfortable is huge. tasteful and dumbass humor only

someone who’s not afraid to say what’s on their mind. he appreciates that kind of directness, and finds it entertaining to an extent

there’s also a certain unpredictability and spontaneity with this person that keeps him on his toes and excites him. he loves a challenge

he’d love someone who shamelessly compliments him. truthfully it’s a bit of an ego thing, but in a specific way:

for Tendou, volleyball is his safe haven. that’s where he grew his confidence and skill and made his friends, so it feels nice for him to have someone appreciate the things he’s good at and cares about when he’s worked so hard for it  

and he loves looking and feeling cool, and being showered in compliments is a great confidence booster heyhey seratonin

he’d love to make them laugh

if they compliment something like his looks, humor, passion, etc that will always really touch his heart. he’d brush it off with an “i know right~?” but in reality he’s freaking out because those are important parts of his self that have really been ignored or unrecognized by most people

this person would become another safe haven where he feels accepted and confident, and genuinely enjoys being around <3

* * *

Iwaizumi

the first thing i thought of for Iwa is someone authentic

a person who is true to themselves and the people around them

he despises fake people. those types were usually the ones always confessing to Oikawa or improving themselves for him. he just thinks it’s wrong

a nice laugh. i don’t mean pretty and refined necessarily, but one that is genuine and contagious and unforced

maybe it is a naturally pretty or refined laugh, but what matters is that it’s a laugh that is theirs, not for anyone else. that’s what’s attractive to him and makes his heart speed up when he hears it

a person who is thoughtful, considerate, and compassionate. like Tsukishima, he appreciates the quiet type of kindness

but he finds it amusing when they get just a little flustered when another person points it out

another little thing, but he’d probably find someone who’s a bad flirter absolutely adorable

he’d appreciate someone emotionally intelligent and perceptive

this is a person that is usually aware of how others are feeling and is able to adjust themselves to be the most effective in that situation

for example, they can adjust their own behavior to make someone feeling nervous at ease or defuse an angry person getting out of hand

this means their advice and comments are taken much better

tbh i could see him liking someone both reserved or incredibly expressive

so they could be the type that’s an extroverted hard-to-hate ball of sunshine, or a calm individual who’s respected and whose presence is appreciated by everyone

either way, he’d notice it

this is really the exception to the ‘disliking fake people’ thing

and he’s a hot-headed, tough-love kind of guy. his caring nature is often hidden behind that behavior  

so he’d admire that kind of social ability and understanding

another thing that i immediately thought of for what he’s attracted to: passion and ambition

what their passion is is less important than the fire in their eyes when the topic comes up, or they talk about their aspirations and huge, sometimes unattainable goals

this doesn’t mean they have their life figured out, but they care both about the future and living in the moment

this is just a hunch, but he’d probably be more inclined to like an athlete or someone that takes care of their body and physical conditioning

someone who challenges him to be better. someone who understands what it means to be proud and understanding your own imperfections at the same time

a vocal supporter

whether it’s yelling his name from the stands when he makes a spike, or encouraging him to follow his passions after high school, or bragging about him to their friends, having someone unapologetically express their belief in him just makes his heart soar

but really, he likes someone who can cheer him on and tell it like it is when he needs it. he’s a pretty tough cookie so he doesn’t mind bluntness (actually prefers it)

i see him liking someone who can surprise him too

the kind of person to hit him up at midnight to go for a drive under the stars or have a dance party in the park to music from a bluetooth speaker

a passionate, authentic, and level-headed adventurer

* * *

Kenma

i’ve written so much Kenma recently lots of these traits are probably obvious lmao

first things first, he just needs to be able to vibe with them

it sounds obvious, but it’s really important. just being able to exist and not feel pressure to be someone he’s not is huge

another boy who loves comfortable silence, or someone who can talk and not mind him being minimally responsive sometimes because he is listening he’s just quiet

he’s an actions>words type of person though

so if they ask about his passions and actually show interest in him that’s great, and he notices, but following through is even better

examples: remembering his favorite flavors, engaging in conversation about the game he’s playing then the next day asking if he beat that level he was stuck on, asking how the tournament went when he mentioned how tired he was from consecutive preparatory practices the week before

things that show they do pay attention, and they do care

someone who looks out for him

this comes in many forms: bringing him a drink and snack bc you know he’s been up all night binging a new game and is probably dehydrated and hungry, or gently guiding him by the arm when he’s got his nose in his game and would definitely walk into traffic, or taking over in a conversation when they recognize he’s just hit his social quota

again, actions>words

along with this interest in him, trying to playfully get him to smile or get a reaction out of him would be annoying at first, but eventually would get him more and more flustered

sound contradictory to what i said before about him needing to feel not pressured? it is a little bit. he doesn’t get it either

really it’s the fact that this person wants to show the way he already feels

okay like Tendou, i feel like i have to say that if they play games or at least are knowledgeable about them, or even want to learn about them, it’s immediate bonus points

it’s one of his two loves. they don’t even have to be good at games as long as they can engage or listen to his rant about the history of a series or how the game mechanics differ between two different platformers and why one may be considered smoother gameplay, but it’s actually more restrictive--

you get it

someone who just casually checks in. “how are you doing?” then moves on and doesn’t make a big deal, but will listen if he needs to vent

like Iwa, he likes someone who’s straightforward and genuine

and like Tendou, there’s something about them that is unique that he latches onto

needs someone “interesting” that always brings some new experience

like Tsukki, he likes mental stimulation why do i keep using the others as examples lmao 

they need to have a sense of humor. may surprise you, but he is bffs with Kuroo, and someone witty is someone who’s interesting

he’s always got a lot on his mind, he’s always thinking

they’d need to be someone he feels comfortable conversing with and sharing his thoughts with, and is a good and responsive listener

some sort of intellectual capability

when he gets to the point where he actually seeks out their company, he starts to realize his feelings

and when he does, he’ll feel more nervous initiating interaction (afraid he’ll say or do something wrong) 

they need to be someone who will take the initiative and seek him out too, and that would only intensify his crush

*****

this turned into more of a character analysis,, oops?

[jacksonsbookblog]

I picked up this book on anxiety to help me work with my own anxiety as well as deepen my knowledge of the subject to help me in my career as a future therapist. After reading it, I thought it was a mini book on ACT (acceptance and commitment therapy) and think it is similar to the book “A Liberated Mind” by Steven C Hayes.

It starts off by detailing that you can only change what you are aware of and teaches the readers how to become aware of unconscious behaviours, especially ones which may be increasing anxiety. A notion in this book similar to ACT is that values driven action is a goal to work towards. It provides an exercise to find out ones values and how to start living in alignment with them.

There are 8 tools provided in the book. These are: 1. Turn worry into a story and get the popcorn. 2. Mindfulness - present moment awareness, observing with intention and being non-judgmental. 3. Sit with uncertainty rather than fight it. Accept the inevitability of uncertainty. 4. Focus on problem solving. When doing this work on effort rather than outcome. Outcome is out of your control, effort is in your control. 5. Approach avoided situations. 6. Let go of safety behaviours - safety behaviours are defined as actions that are that are driven by a push away from a perceived threat, rather than a pull towards ones values. Write down the way safety behaviours get in the way of living the life you choose to. 7. Engage in mood boosters. Whatever those are for you. Small is better than not at all. Recognise all feelings are okay. Exercise. Journal. Practice self-compassion. Focus on consistency, not on outcome. Connect with others. Get out in nature. Let go of all or nothing thinking and celebrate effort. Among other mood boosters. 8. Be purposefully imperfect.

The book seems to have lots of good ideas and goes deeply into exercises one can do to decrease ones level of anxiety. I don’t necessarily believe that any book could solve someone’s anxiety. However, this book can be incredibly helpful on ones journey to living a life that is not controlled by anxiety. This book may not be beneficial for everyone, but I do recommend it to anyone who thinks their anxiety is out of control.

I just started reading a book on anxiety by Joseph LeDoux, the worlds leading researcher on the concept of anxiety, he states that avoidance is not always a bad thing for people with anxiety.

[sepublic]

Lilith’s Recovery

            Rambling on how Lilith could begin her road to recovery in Season 2; Get this lady some friends and people in her life that AREN’T Eda, please! For her entire life, Lilith has constantly narrowed down her vision to only herself and Eda, and everything she does or views about herself is more or less in relation to Eda- Be it being better than Eda, being weaker as penance for the curse, curing Eda of the curse, Eda’s disconnect from the Emperor’s Coven is clearly about her feelings towards Lilith and not the system, paying only attention to how Eda is affected and not everybody else…

           The woman has constantly used Eda as a litmus test for, well, just about everything. Lilith needs to learn that there’s more to life than Eda, that she can make other friends besides Eda… She needs to learn some independence, because it seems like she doesn’t know how to function as her own person. Lilith is always latching onto someone… In the end, helping teach Lilith to make new friends, to form active connections and expand her support network- That’s a good thing!

           Lilith needs to learn not to compare herself to Eda so much… Nor compare herself to anyone else, for that matter! The Coven System is toxic in part because it’s always comparing individuals and attempting to sort them out into some sort of hierarchy, instead of letting people exist as they are, unique in their own way but not necessarily better! Obviously Lilith has her own things she wants to be good at, of course…

           Which gets me onto another point! Get this girl some hobbies. Get this girl any activities that aren’t solely about Eda, let Lilith learn to enjoy herself on her own, and with other people. Let Lilith recognize that she can enjoy life without necessarily needing the approval of this ONE person, even if she shouldn’t completely disregard them either (unless they’re a total asshole like Belos). And, I think it’d help to get Lilith to find hobbies and things to do that aren’t necessarily useful or pragmatic –even if she definitely has to help with chores too- because the Coven System, again… It tells kids that their interests aren’t valid unless they serve some sort of pragmatic use, that kids need to constantly focus on being useful, and not just being happy with themselves- That they need to actively justify their passions in life!

           I’m sure Lilith would LOVE to simplify the answer of what do with her own existence, by devoting herself completely to Eda and the others… But in the end, it’s not going to truly fix things. She needs to learn to live for herself, to just enjoy things withut having to justify herself for it. That isn’t to say whatever hobbies she finds can’t be useful, because I don’t want to place any limitations on her either… And similarly, that doesn’t mean Lilith shouldn’t help at all, period, especially since she definitely has a lot of damage she needs to repair. But she needs to learn that once the damage has been dealt with, she’s allowed to simply just exist on her own. In general, I think just emotionally healing Lilith, helping build up her sense of self-worth and confidence, making her happier… I think it’ll be a decent catalyst for character development, because one doesn’t do terrible things –at least not usually- because they’re in a good mood and aren’t questioning themselves.

           Similarly, getting to know other people can expand and broaden Lilith’s worldview, and teach her not to be apathetic to others. She needs to see that her consequences have actions not JUST with Eda, but other people, like Amity, Luz, King, etc. An apology here or there would help, but Lilith also needs to recognize and admit how messed-up the Coven System is, the corruption and wrongdoings of Belos, etc. For decades, Eda couldn’t truly reconcile with Lilith because of her support and enforcement of a horrible system… She didn’t know about the curse until VERY recently! Lilith needs to see and acknowledge the decisions that Eda made, that she has her own agency and that Lilith isn’t entitled to everything her sister does.

           Just as Lilith shouldn’t devote everything to Eda, Eda shouldn’t do the same vice-versa. Eda DID love Lilith, but she has more to her life than just her sister, and can’t dedicate all of her actions and time to helping Lilith. It doesn’t have to be just the two girls VS the world, there a lot of people willing to extend a hand to help, and there are plenty of hands that Lilith and Eda have to offer themselves. Lilith needs to recognize that just as she herself is personally at fault for a lot of things (even if the system certainly didn’t help), Eda also had plenty of agency herself… And by recognizing the power of agency, Lilith can learn to appreciate the ability to make a choice to be better, and do good things.

           Really, it seems like the girl has torn herself down too much, beneath her mask of pride and supposed superiority! Making someone feel way worse isn’t going to teach them to constructively fix things, it seems- That’s just destructive. One should focus instead on building up Lilith as a character, telling her that she messed up but also that she can at least work to repair things… Like Luz with Amity, she can fix this- Maybe not her own, maybe together with others? At the very least, Lilith can choose to stop doing bad things- That’s a good start and she seems to have begun THAT at least!

           It also helps to better hammer it into Lilith’s head, that she needs to confront issues, or at least acknowledge them… That sweeping things under the rug isn’t going to help. You can’t be a coward forever… Lilith needs to recognize the ugly truth of situations before she can improve upon them, or else accept them- Otherwise she only has herself to blame for quietly suffering. And while obviously if Lilith DOES make mistakes and relapse here or there, and she should still give herself some room for forgiveness, it’s ultimately for the chance to make things right, and NOT keeping making mistakes, or at least fix the effects of past ones. Lilith is going to have to be a lot more considerate about things…

           And, I know I said it before- But I think some interactions with King would be great! I wouldn’t be shocked if he continued to be more open and receptive to Lilith for a wide number of reasons… But it’s not out of the question for him to maintain hostility, as he was ALSO critical of himself for the same mistakes he saw in Lilith, not to mention Lilith WAS technically ‘on the other side’, did worse, and isn’t literal physical danger. I think with King, Lilith could learn to vent and acknowledge her own darker feelings and insecurities, maybe recognize that she’s not a complete monster for having them… And from there, actually work on these things! King knows what the road looks like, he can give Lily a lot of guidance on whether or not she’s messing up or relapsing, about being honest with how you feel… Learning that you don’t have to be above others nor compare yourself, etc.

           Again, a lot of this is King’s choice as well- He doesn’t exactly owe Lilith anything. While he could definitely help A LOT with Lilith, I feel… He’s also allowed to bear a grudge, too. Or, at least not want to put in the effort to ‘fix’ Lilith… It’s important for Lilith to recognize that trying to make up for things doesn’t erase them and that lingering feelings are valid. But at the same time, it doesn’t HAVE to be hopeless… And even if it is, well. You still have other connections to maintain, more connections to make if you wanted… And on your own, one is a worthwhile individual as-is.

           Maybe when the dust has somewhat settled, perhaps we can see Lilith air a grievance or two, because even if she HAS messed up a lot, that doesn’t mean she has zero judgment and nothing to offer… If Eda was too harsh in the past in her own way (not that it would remotely justify the curse), maybe it’d help Lilith AND Eda, for Lilith to bring this up as another reason as to her crippling insecurity. Eda is receptive, she’s willing to learn from Luz who’s merely fourteen, she knows that she alone does not hold all of the knowledge in the world…

           And while obviously Lilith is a lot more sus as a formerly-blind enforcer of the Emperor’s Coven, I wouldn’t be shocked if Eda blamed herself a little for not ‘rescuing’ her sister… For not leading Lilith down the right path alongside her, or at least away from blind devotion to Belos of all people. But I think if Eda had her moments of imperfection that could’ve contributed to Lilith’s poor decisions, then that should be addressed, at least for Lilith AND Eda’s good, so Eda can better understand what happened with her sister and how to avoid this again, be it with Lilith or anyone else.

           Obviously Lilith has a lot of personal culpability amidst the system making things worse… But I think it’d be good for both sisters, for Eda to at least understand a grievance or two of Lilith’s. That neither is necessarily perfect, and not ‘better’ than the others… (Granted I don’t blame Eda for proclaiming superiority back when Lilith implied her own inferiority as justification for using Luz as a hostage, that seemed more in retaliation than a genuine belief- And let’s be real, she WAS better in the sense that serving the EC is objectively bad).

           It’s interesting to me. I think Lilith needs to recognize/learn where she’s good at, in her own things, in her own way… Maybe not necessarily that she’s better at some things than Eda is. Granted, it’s easy to tell Lilith not to compare herself and be happy with who she is, when one is at the top… Lilith still DOES have legitimate insecurity. And it might not be just enough, nor healthy, to simply have her be ‘resigned’ to being worse… Because again, nobody is better or worse, we’re all equal here. Though, it’s worth noting that even if Eda WAS better than Lilith, that doesn’t mean Eda should actively hinder herself just for Lilith’s own feelings, that’s not fair to Eda... Especially since Eda low-key already held herself back in the past, to let Lilith into the Emperor’s Coven. Eda should be allowed to pursue the full scope of things she enjoys to the fullest, without worrying about holding herself down to Lilith’s level, just for Lilith’s sake. Plus, Lilith was already better than most (she became Head of the Emperor’s Coven after all), it just apparently wasn’t enough to be among the best- She had to be THE best, or at least better than Eda, which ties back to what I said about Lilith to narrowing her existence and worldview to just the two of them.

           Lilith can still compete with Eda like old times, but in a healthy sense… That her entire self-worth isn’t based on it. That she’s still good at other things. And I think maybe Eda needs to step back for a moment, and help reassure Lily of this… That she never thought lesser of her for being ‘weaker’ (or at least she won’t anymore), that her issue came from Lilith being a covenscout and hurting actual people. But still, Lilith is also her own person who is unique and has her own individual worth, she isn’t ‘replaceable’ and she needs to recognize how she accomplishes this… Be it through whatever emotional connections she can provide and receive from others, her own personal interests and skills, etc.

           I don’t expect the road to recovery to be linear, ideal, nor efficient. Not that it CAN’T be, but these characters ARE just like the rest of us in that they’re not perfect and just trying their best. Amidst shenanigans, plot-events, and maybe having to be pragmatic and make Lilith be useful now and then… Well, they say progress isn’t linear. I suppose that could mean that there is no one, right path to recovery and character development. The cast may not get to immediately address Lilith in a super-efficient, meaningful manner, stuff may just happen… But at least an effort should be made, and that alone can be good. The fact that you’re trying means a lot in the end.

[itsclydebitches]

Giving it some thought, the entire subplot of trust and truth started in Volume 4, when Qrow first tells RNJR about Salem and the Maidens. Paraphrasing, Ruby says that she believes Qrow because she trusts him, but then asks "Why couldn't you trust me? Why couldn't you just travel with us instead of all this... secrecy, and-". I don't know what to make of it, because even back then it felt a little... I don't know, heavy-handed? And then it's made a central theme of V7 and it's even more ???

The problem with Team RWBY/RNJR - or rather, the problem with how they’re written - is that they conflate strategy and caution with a lack of trust. Meaning, the people around them have very good reasons for not divulging certain information at certain times and/or not doing certain things at certain times because that’s dangerous. It’s not a matter of trusting someone in the way Ruby means (willing to follow someone, willing to believe that they’re striving for the right thing) but a sheer matter of practicality. Qrow says it straight out: “this has nothing to do with trust.” 

Why didn’t he travel with them? Because he has a bad luck semblance that does all sorts of awful things to the people around him, like drawing more grimm, causing beams to fall, or tires to blow on your one mode of transportation. Qrow didn’t travel with them because that was the smart, practical move in a hostile world, not because he doesn’t trust his niece. Now, we can change the question to, “Why didn’t you trust us with the knowledge of your semblance?” and that gets into the complicated can of worms, “Because this has been a traumatic thing that I’m still working through and I’m terrified that people will leave me when they find out about it.” A fear that more of this group should understand by now. Why didn’t Jaune immediately tell his team that he snuck his way into Beacon? Why did Blake hide that she was a faunus? Do we even see Ruby tell her teammates about her super secret eyes or does the narrative just assume that everyone found out at some point (I honestly don’t remember...)? Everyone has secrets and parts of themselves that are incredibly difficult to talk about. The inability to admit to them unless pressured - which is precisely what Nora does to Qrow here - is not an indication of a lack of trust. It’s an indication of the group’s lack of emotional maturity that they thought then, and still think now, that everyone around them owes them every single piece of themselves. It’s an immaturity seen most overtly in Yang who believes that Ozpin isn’t trustworthy unless he divulges every piece of information that might possibly be deemed a secret, while simultaneously keeping secrets about her Mom being the Spring Maiden, Salem’s immortality, and Robyn’s knowledge of Amity. It’s a child’s logic to honestly believe, “Well this applies to you but not me because I’m just different.” A perspective that I thought the group was being set up to grow out of. 

Because this theme of trust vs. practicality continues in the conversation when Jaune wants to know why the whole world hasn’t been told about Salem. Qrow, via Ozpin’s teachings, has very smart and proven reasons for keeping things quiet: 

“Hey,” asks the teenager who has had one year of combat training and has only been in one non-grimm battle, a good portion of which he spent arguing with his teammate and trapped in a locker. “Why haven’t we told the whole world about the woman out to kill them and the magical relics she wants?” 

“Well,” responds the elite huntsmen who has been fighting in this war at least as long as they’ve been alive, “Because history has shown us that people panic when they learn stuff like that. Murder young women for their power panic (women like Pyrrha!). Try to steal the magical relics for themselves panic. Turn on each other panic. Start a new war between kingdoms and descend the world into chaos panic. And, as they’re about to find out via Lionheart, Join the witch instead of fighting her panic. We see in that final shot of Jaune that he doesn’t like hearing this, but he seems to understand it. Grudgingly. Problem is, this understanding doesn’t last. 

With all the info out in the open Ruby asks what they’re supposed to do and Qrow responds with, 

The looks everyone exchange are terrified. 

For the record, this isn’t bad writing. They’re barely trained kids. They should be looking to their authority figures and then be blindsided with the adults don’t have one easy, magical solution to grant them. That’s a part of growing up. What Qrow offers them instead is the adult solution: we do what we can. We’ll continue on to Haven where Lionheart should have been making preparations. We’ll see what he knows and work from there. Sorry I don’t have a ‘Defeat Salem and Make Everything Perfect’ plan hidden up my sleeve, but this is what fighting a war is really like. 

What does all this have to do with trust? The fact that the group learns nothing from this conversation. When more information about Salem is revealed - her immortality - Ruby asks the same question of Ozpin that she did Qrow: So... how are you, as an individual, going to fix everything for us? When he, like Qrow, has nothing simple to offer them they turn violent (and the fact that Qrow expressed the most overt violence just goes to show how little RT bothered to think through how each person would respond to this information). The group continues to conflate information with trust. Information in terms of “Share all your secrets” and information in terms of “We expect an easy solution to our problems.” When people fail to provide them with that - such as Ironwood having a plan but it’s not a plan they like because it hurts Mantle - they’re deemed “untrustworthy.” 

Now again, this isn’t necessarily a bad thing... if the group were on a track to grow out of this behavior. It’s not a bad thing to have Ruby be pissed that (to her mind) Qrow didn’t trust her, to think that Ozpin is untrustworthy because he didn’t share everything with them... and then slam her into a situation where she has the information and she realizes, “Oh shit. I’m too scared to tell Ironwood this right out. I want to keep this information hidden until I’m sure it’s safe to share and I feel it’s the right time. Even then it’s really hard to share it... Uncle Qrow and Ozpin were right.” Instead, the writing did the exact opposite. Ruby’s perspective and  her behavior is reinforced - she’s supposedly right to equate trust with sharing ever piece of information, the ability to provide perfection, and people’s willingness to follow her orders to the letter despite her having no power next to elders, more powerful fighters, and military rank - but the story ignores the hypocrisy of her doing the same things she damns everyone else for. She doesn’t share information. She doesn’t follow orders. She has no plan and is set to get everyone killed. The show set up a moment for the group to actually start growing up and mature emotionally in the face of an ethically complicated war... and instead had Qrow randomly insist that Ruby is simply different and special. She is, intrinsically, simply Better than everyone else and you’re not supposed to ask why. By extension, so is her team. Everyone from Nora to Oscar to Jaune insists loudly that telling the council, or Mantle, or the whole world about Salem is the One Good Answer here despite the fact that the narrative - via Qrow above and in numerous key scenes since Volume 3 - has given us numerous reasons why that’s a terrible idea and zero reasons why it’s a good one. But the story is no longer interested in weighing these perspectives and having the characters learn to make informed decisions. Even when lives are on the line. 

It comes down to an incredibly biased perspective by the writers. By working under the ironclad assumption that your young protagonists are always right and your older supporting characters are inevitably wrong, you get situations wherein we’re shown a situation where Team RWBY is wrong and the adults do have a point... and then we swerve at the last second to insist otherwise. Qrow is shown as having good reasons for keeping his distance, but Ruby says he didn’t trust her. Cordovin has good reasons for not letting kids across a closed border, but Ruby says she forced them to steal. All evidence points to the Ace Ops kicking Team RWBY’s ass, but Ruby says they’re stronger. That’s what drives the show nowadays: whatever Ruby claims is the truth. If the show actually followed what it had laid out on screen, rather than what Ruby insists to be true, then this show would now be a tragedy. Here’s the story of what happens when you give traumatized teens the power to try and save the world. Being forced into this war so early and receiving the gut-punch that the adults around them are imperfect immediately after a near kidnapping is something they couldn’t handle. The nuance of a 1,000 year strategy-based war is something they couldn’t handle. When you take a girl who wants to fight monsters like in the storybooks and put her in charge years before she’s ready... she’s going to insist that life will turn out like a storybook. So she’ll bravely fight an immortal witch with an army under the assumption that everything will somehow turn out alright. Except it doesn’t and everyone dies. The End. 

RWBY should have been a story of growth. At this point it logically should be a story of tragedy. What we’ll actually get though is that happy ending based on Team RWBY’s version of “trust” and “friendship” that is inherently contradictory to everything seen on screen... but we’re expected to just run with it because they’re the title characters.

[soulvomit]

I’m realizing what some of my writing block is. This is why I’ve decided to only write *adult market.* I can’t write YA. I can’t even write for people who want to read YA. The narrative demands of an audience that wants everything to be Young Adult, are like handcuffs. I can’t write within those boundaries, I just can’t.  I can’t even write for people who read Adult then get mad that it’s not YA. I can’t write even for younger readers of erotica. I can only write for people with roughly my same level of social experience who are coming from the same place, who don’t require their characters to be moral paragons, or who want to read something that is coming from a different place emotionally, or... for that matter... young people who prefer to read older work.  Long winded diatribe about some of my more difficult, culturally incorrect romantic narratives I’ve written, as an example of this problem. In case you’re not going to read behind the read-more, no, I don’t write incest or pedo. (Doesn’t mean I won’t write a character who has experienced this if it comes up, I haven’t yet, but who knows. But I don’t write positive portrayals of it. I feel I need to write this disclaimer here.)  

Looking at my writing - I have some scenes I’ve written that are very passionate. It’s basically an OC fanfic type of scenario, it’s writing I did that spun off of a game setting my characters were in for a very long time, about two characters who later ended up married. (And I often do this when game groups fall apart, I start writing about my characters.) It’s some of my best writing, and I’ve often thought about filing the serial numbers off and cannibalizing this for some totally original setting. In the piece I’m looking at, the characters haven’t jumped each other’s bones yet, but there is a strong attraction between two lonely, unattached coworkers that is growing into... outright longing. These are middle aged divorcees with children. They have navigated love and lust before. They have been adults at this point for a long time. They are both sexually experienced (her, in fact, much more than him). It’s clear that they utterly want to rail each other from dusk to dawn until neither one of them can walk. Much of this is from the point of view of the male character. (And I LOVE writing het from the male point of view; it’s one of my favorite love/sex dynamics to write.) They’re definitely conscious of this attraction and in their private thoughts that I’ve written, before the attraction is consummated, there’s definitely “strong crush” energy. These are experienced, sexually mature, middle aged people who are both divorcees with children and they definitely are guessing correctly about the other person’s attraction and interest. They’re imperfect people: they’ve made bad life choices in the past. They’re equals, but it’s never *explicitly pointed out.* He’s a hypermasculine (but not toxically) and badass warrior type, she’s an engineer. She is older than he is, but that never matters and never comes up any more than the fact that I’m 6 years older than my fiance, ever comes up in our relationship. All four of us are *middle aged people* and it is just not a topic of conversation. Another thing that’s “eh” by YA standards is that The thing with how I portray and read erotic or romantic stuff, is that I am an older, experienced person, and I like stuff about older, experienced people. People who already know how to navigate these situations and don’t necessarily need everything spelled out. The thing is, I almost feel like - because of changing sexual mores - I can only write for people over 40 unless I totally rewrite the way everything goes and even the emotional temperature of their early relationship. Even though it’s very clear that my characters are absolutely mutually into each other, and it would be clear to any experienced person who navigates body language, I would have to navigate a whole new set of mores around having to outright spoonfeed my audience - we are really into tell don’t show now, we are really into long winded prefaces to everything explaining how everyone involved is really a good person, and I notice that there’s so little comprehension of nuance or subtlety now, things have to be spelled out, one character reading another person’s body language and flirting at a subtler level would be considered gross and against the present day’s mores around consent. My characters ultimately end up making out and going to bed and they never, ever talk about it and they never process it. The establishment of consent is very, very brief and amounts to one middle aged horny person basically saying “wanna fuck” to another middle aged horny person (personally, my absolute favorite way to start a relationship, that’s how my current and best relationship started, 10/10 highly recommend) and, 12 hours later, the other person pulling them into their hotel room. It’s the kind of establishment of consent that you would’ve seen in an older work and it’s not a particularly complicated dance. I didn’t write this work for public consumption outside of a handful of people and perhaps if I did, maybe I would have written it differently because I’d have to assume that “show don’t tell” doesn’t work on audiences who don’t read nuance, I don’t know. Also, in the lead up to the two characters doing the do, they totally sexually objectify each other in their heads. They think about how much they’d really, really like to pounce on each other. And this is... objectifying, or something. I always portray consent but there’s never a complicated ritual around it. I don’t enjoy writing that. Also, I really enjoy writing and reading stuff with spontaneous passion. I LOVE stuff where it’s even a little over the top.

But the big thing that seems to have changed? The big social more? It feels like you’re not really allowed to show your characters crushing too hard, or desiring too much. They’re certainly never allowed to have frustrating desire or one-sided attractions. (I’ve written lots of those. How the character acts on it or doesn’t, is going to depend upon what type of character I’m writing. I have a couple of one sided best friend crush types of dynamics that I’ve written, usually it’s same sex and incompatible sexual orientation.)   Characters are not really allowed to be horny and there seems to be a general disgust with horniness. Which is difficult to navigate because I love horny work, about horny people. I love stuff about crushes and frustrated limerence.   Also? I even love forbidden romance and forbidden sex and sometimes, and even characters doing things they’re Not Supposed To Do. (I think this is why so many people in my age group are into crime fiction, stuff about illicit affairs, etc.) I have the standard legal and moral limits, but yes I will even read about characters cheating on their spouses. It doesn’t mean I condone what the character is doing or want to do it, and it’s satisfying to see how the situation resolves. (It has to have consequences or it’s just not believable.)  

But even age differences between grown ass adults and massive social differences don’t bother me. I love reading and writing common and royal, rich and poor, people from forbidden and different social worlds.

I’m presently writing something in which a young (but adult) witch is married to an immortal god, and finds out she’s one of millions of his brides through history, and hundreds in the present time. And she is going to stay married to him because that’s part of, in my world, being the type of witch she is. OF COURSE there’s a power difference because HE’S A GOD. The story also spends a lot of time with her as a child, because I write CRADLE TO GRAVE CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT. I love to spend a character’s entire life with them, from the time they’re born to the time they die. But leaving that aside. The sweetest and most tender romance I’ve ever written, involved a sad 50something man and a 25ish year old woman. I was in my 20s when I wrote this. I had lived with the male character in my head for a long time and knew him inside and out. I was delighted when I realized that sparks were flying between him and another character, I’d lived through this character’s life story and its long history of unhappy self-sacrifice, and I decided to follow to see where it led... and it was delightful! I decided to let him have the happy ending. He deserved it after all of this time. She was the initiator of the relationship. She’s in love with him. He is a widower who’s lost everything and now he has a chance to rebuild his life and start a family with this new person. She has other suitors but wants him. She gets pregnant. But it’s narratively a blessing. She wants him, she wants their child, and he’s delighted (especially since his late wife and child are dead), it’s a matrilineal culture, she and the child will stay on the land with her family after he dies. This is a blessing for him. They’re on her family’s land and he’s an exile with no home. She is NOT a Literal Child; she is a grown-ass adult with her own agency, who is sexually experienced, and who has born a lot of responsibility, and is in a prominent social position. His existence is at the mercy of her family, though they keep him around because of his knowledge and abilities. He is the one who doesn’t initiate the relationship, because he’s conscious of the age difference and feels like an old fool, and worries she’ll tire of him one day. Who has the power? Also, he’s a “fish out of water” from another (completely fictitious) culture who ends up totally living among, and assimilating into, this new culture, and basically living out the rest of his life among them, with his bride and their children. And that’s something that isn’t supposed to happen, right? (Writers whose characters just show up in their heads, will relate to this. I don’t even pick my characters’ love interests.)