#than think something could be off with their 'primary' relationships because those things are not palpable there

[ingravinoveritas]

(Original post here.)

@cloud-based-and-rainpilled You're welcome! And I am definitely with you, re: body language analysis being tricky, particularly for neurodivergent people. I just completed a sex ed curriculum for autistic young adults/adults that I helped to create as part of a grant I received, and one of the things I really wanted to emphasize was how neurotypicals have certain expectations/ideas about body language and what things can mean, but that also doesn't mean there is anything wrong with how autistic people communicate.

So yes, that analysis can be difficult, but I agree with you that it (and that gut feeling) exist for a reason, and I think for me, as someone who is neurodivergent and always had difficulty picking up on these things, it's Michael and David being so "loud" that has helped me to pick up on it with them.

Like you said, the jealousy and possessiveness between Michael and David--not in a toxic, unhealthy way, but a protective, affectionate way--is palpable. It's especially visible when you look at Michael and David with their other close friends and see how they behave so completely differently with them versus with each other. And I do think that if one of them was a woman, this entire conversation would be completely different, because no one is going to look at a man and woman being jealous over each other in this same way and think they're such great friends. But I guess it's those same biases/assumptions that make it easy for Michael and David to hide in plain sight, so…there you go…

[daskolas]

MOON IN HOUSES

Moon is a fast moving planet. It moves from one sign to another in approx 2 days 6 hours. Moon is considered as queen in Vedic astrology. Moon shows feminine energy and represents mother.

Moon in 1st house

These individuals are very emotional

Their nature is very changing i.e they can feel anger or sadness or any other type of emotion very quickly.

They can adapt to any situation quickly. Mutable in nature.

These people are also very caring. Some of them can even cry if they see their loved one crying or going through a hard time.

Individuals with moon in 1st house can be little chubby, if not then they are prone to gain a little weight

They are romantic. They often listen to their heart rather than brain.

These are the type of people who will know how to react in what situation.

They also have etiquette. Like the type of people who have tons of table manners and all those things.

Their eyes are very pretty just like moon. However, they have weak eyesight.

They have a lot of influence of their mother on them. Their mother could also have been more dominating at home.

Moon in 2nd house

Their money is always fluctuating. Like some month they are earning a lot but next month, their income isn't as as strong

Their financial gain is also not equal. There will be tons of up and down financially.

Despite having unstable income. People with this placement tend to make a good living for themselves. It does show that individuals will earn a lot of money.

If moon is strong, then they will be attached to their family and will also get a lot of happiness from their family.

Some of them are also very scared of dressing up even though they like to as they think that people around them are judging them.

They spend a lot of money. People with this placement most often tend to fall for retail therapy.

Natives with this placement are interested in helping people. They like to do social work. Their career choice can also be effected by this.

They also very caring and want to fulfill needs of people around them. Depending on rest of the chart, they may or may not show their love and affection for others

They also have very positive view towards life.

They tend to get attached to any non-living thing.

Moon in 3rd house

They never feel satisfied. Their heart is always wishing for more and more.

Individuals with this placement cannot feel relaxed. As their mind is always wandering off. They are always thinking about different topics.

The more they desire to have a relaxed mind and heart, the more stressed they can get.

They are very hardworking. As the moon which denotes heart is in house of hardwork.

They have a lot of mood swings.

They will not have stable relationship with their mother. Their will always be love and hate in their relationship. This is because relation of 4th house is in 12th house from its position.

They will be very attached to their neighborhood and thei younger sibling. They are also prone to reminiscing their primary school life.

They are good writers. As they have a broad imagination.

People with this placement also have easy go attitude.

They want to learn about many things. They have a mind of researcher, always digging deep.

Moon in 4th house

Individuals have emotional attachment towards their mother or hone.

Individuals do not have any control over their heart. They have a hard time having some self control.

They like to stay in their comfort zone only.

They like luxurious items like jewellery or even an expensive phone

They are imaginative. If they have creative placements then they can be good in art. Given their imagination they can create something really good.

They gain security from relationships. If a relationship gets affected somehow then they can feel insecure and think they are not good enough

They are way too much dependent on their relationship with other people and materialistic items.

Person is very calm and patient. They also are very emotional.

It is believed that individuals will have a lot of assets like home, vehicles etc in their life.

You can be prone to people-pleasing.

Moon in 5th house

They will have a very close relationship with their kids. They also are attached to them and love them unconditionally.

They can have a good luck in stock market. They can even be interested in learning about different shares

They are very creative and are very interested in creative things like drawing, singing or dancing.

This placement gives a lot of curiosity. They are interested in learning about different things and expanding their knowledge.

They have a lot of empathy. They can easily put themselves in other person's show.

This is a placement that shows that the person is a great listener. They also give good advices.

Individuals with this placement are very welcoming and care a lot for other people.

These people give way too much and do not receive on that level. You should learn how to not drain yourself.

They will also be able to connect with the opposite sex more. They will also have many romantic relationship.

Their higher education will be successful. As 5th house rules it.

Moon in 6th house

They are very shy people. They also feel very hesitant to ask for things. They are the type of people who will not correct their order when they receive them wrong.

Individual is introvert

They always are thinking about past events like thinking how they could have done something differently.

They also are very indecisive. They are always weighing down different options. And even if they select one then they think about it a lot rather than moving forward with it.

They also have weak immune system. They can fall ill easily.

They will always their enemies on their mind. Which will have effect on their mental health. They will also be thinking about their competitors and enemies.

They can have a strained relationship with their mother or have some kind of childhood problem in any way.

Their mother can work in the service industry like a nurse, caregiver etc.

Individual worries a lot. They are most of the time overthinking about different scenarios which can effect their mental health.

CW: MENTION OF INFERTILITY

They can have problems with kids like they can be infertile.

(credits: @flickr on Pinterest)

Moon in 7th house

Spouse will be very emotional and romantic

They will have a lot of influence of their mother on them.

They are prone to mood swings.

They will also be good looking. They will also have kind looking eyes.

Individual will know how to talk with people. They will know how to work the crowd.

Individual will know what to say and when to say it. They will be socially intelligent.

Individuals can be good at handling daily issues. Whether it is work related or household related, they can handle tasks easily.

You could pursue a profession related to business, legal field, marketing etc. You will also be able to excel in your career. As this placement is considered lucky

You are loyal to your partner. You will put your whole energy into anything, it doesn't matter if it is work or relationships. (Negative result if the moon is weak)

If the moon is strong then they will be emotionally intelligent, however if it is weak then the result will be the opposite.

Moon in 8th house

People with this placement are incredibly sensitive to the environment

They also are mysterious regarding their studies or they like studying occult subjects. They are deeply interested in topics which you do not read about in daily life.

They also are incredibly good in hiding their feelings. As moon is weak in this house, therefore they are not able to express what they are feeling.

They also are deep thinker. They want to understand why a person reacts in a way they do.

Many people with this placement have high libido

This position also indicates that the person is not good with kids or they are not interested in having them.

They also are interested in researching things. Many people of this placement also tend to he interested in getting PhD.

People with this placement are also not able to handle themselves emotionally. They feel too much inside

Many people with this placement do not talk much. They are very silent and also prefers to stay in a quiet environment

They are very hardworking and will do anything to achieve success.

Moon in 9th house

Individual will be religious. They will also travel to many religious places.

People with this placement put a lot of effort for succeeding which also increases their chances of being popular

They are interested in philosophy a lot. They like to share their experience or hear other's experience.

They will get benefit from their mother

They will have influence of their teacher for their entire life.

They also are more logical. They like to live their life in a certain structure and only work according to it.

As, this placement is neutral so the native will have many up and down in their life.

Many of them also tend to be philanthropists.

They are peace loving individuals who will avoid conflict at any cost. Many of them also have trouble confronting people.

They do really well in their higher studies. And they may also want to travel to another city/country to get a certain degree

Moon in 10th house

This isn't considered good placement as the person will be constantly changing their profession. They will go from one job to another or will change their business fastly

It'll be good for their career, if they can get into a profession through which they can travel.

Their will be tons of up and down in career. It will not be stable

Individual wants to work. They like to put all the efforts in their work

They get satisfied from their work itself. They are also perfectionist

Individual's father is very caring. He will also care a lot about native. Father or their mother in law will have soft nature like nurturing, calm, patient. They don't hurt other people with their words.

Same as their father, people with this placement are also caring and nurturing

They like learning about new things. They want to gain as much as knowledge they can. And may want to become "jack of all trades but master of none."

They also want to present themselves in a certain way. And when they do not they may start feeling anxious or insecure

A person is also able to connect with many influential people in their life which can help them bring closer to their goal

Moon in 11th house

Person will do only those things which they think they will get benefit. They won't learn anything which will not benefit them

They even put efforts in those relationships only which will be fruitful or if they can get something from the person in return

They will have a good relationship with their elder siblings. They will even get benefit from them like they can give them advices or anything.

They can understand easily from where the other person is coming from. They see two sides of the coin. Therefore, they can be good mediator

Individuals are extroverts. They like to socialise with other people a lot. They also know how to network

This is a placement which also works as a wish fulfilling placement. If they really desire something then they can manifest it

They will also feel happy and more content with themselves when they will spend more time in social environment

They will feel like they are good at many things so what exactly to pursue. This can make them feel anxious about their future

People with this placement are also very imaginative and dreamy. They have big dreams for their future

People with this placement are not the most emotionally stable

Moon in 12th house

Person will have trouble sleeping. They also tend to develop insomnia.

They can have trouble in their left eye. Or their eyesight is weak.

They will also have to go through a lot of emotional difficulties. They can face many issues which can make their emotions heightened.

They also have to go through loneliness in their childhood. They tend to be ostracized by their peers or even family members.

They tend to have strained relationship with their mother. There will be some distance between them or they will not get any support from her.

They tend to have a really hard time in earning fame.

They hide their feelings from other people. They don't express themselves much which can lead to emotional outburst.

Many people with this placement tend to have prophetic dreams. They can foresee the future or have really good intuition

They have problems with depression, anxiety, fainting etc.

This position also indicates that the native has weak memory or suffer from some mental problems.

[comicaurora]

I've started making my way through the playlist hbomberguy made of actually good video essays by queer creators and spotted a comment of yours on the one about the relationship between Harley Quinn and Poison Ivy, which was fun xD red in the wild!

Anyways, just wanted to appreciate how both you and Blue and you are very good at showing your sources! It's always nice to know that the people you've watched for years have good habits after an event like this, and I hope you guys are among the people that get some new fans after this whole debacle, because your channel definitely qualifies for "good educational videos made by queer people"

I'm glad! Blue's much better about listing his sources and follow-up reading than I am.

To be honest, I loved the video, but my imposter syndrome always flares like crazy when I watch an essay like that. It might be the ADHD or it might just be who I am as a person, but I feel like I've lived my whole life striving to make everything I do the best it can be, and still managing to fuck up and get criticised for things I could've done better if only I never missed anything. It's an actual gut-drop when it turns out a source I used wasn't trustworthy, or when in older videos I only went wiki-deep for some claims and didn't check every source to be 100% sure I wasn't being goat-fish'd. And this being the internet, I can get criticized at any time for things I've gotten wrong years ago, since it's evergreen online and to the new-viewing critic it's as fresh as yesterday. It makes it hard for me to stay proud of my work past the first moment of "oh I would've done that different now". There's a cocktail of complicated, scary feelings around this space, no matter how little I actually have in common with the bad guys of this scenario - it's less about the reality and more about who my imposter syndrome tells me I am. I saw several people saying that the video actually made them feel much better about their own work because it made it clear that accidental plagiarism on that scale is impossible, but if my anxieties listened to reason I would've successfully machete'd them out of my skull years ago. I just hope I never fuck up badly enough to deserve an hbombing of my own.

But my own stress aside, the hbomb essay exposed a level of laxness, laziness and entitlement on the part of these plagiarists that I think is almost incomprehensible to people who actually create for a living or even just the joy of it. How hollow do you have to be to take in someone else's writing and not consider it, digest it, let it reshape your views and then formulate your own interpretation on it, but instead to file off the serial numbers and pretend it's yours, trusting that the person whose thoughts and words you valued enough to steal will never be powerful enough to call you out on it? I go down research rabbit holes because I love the frustration and thrill of putting something together! How joyless it must be to skim the surface and borrow someone else's conclusions!

I've sometimes had people email asking for sources on parts of my interpretation of various myths, possibly in the interest of source-citing for school papers (a nightmare concept in and of itself) and with very few exceptions I usually have to tell them "the only sources were the english translations I used of the primary source where the myth was originally written, like I said in the video, and the part where I said I was conspiracy-boarding has no source other than my own analysis of the given source, which is why I called it conspiracy-boarding" and I was always a little baffled by those emails - half the videos are introduced like "this is The Prose Edda" or "this is in Ovid's Metamorphoses" or "this bit is Hesiod" so what else could they want - but seeing the hbomb of the week made me realize that truly original analysis might not be what most people are expecting from a "thing summarized." They might be expecting a compilation of other people's summaries instead.

[hetalimagines]

General headcanons for Alfred as a boyfriend (SFW)

Here's my first actual post on this blog, hehe... I can't find the ask but someone requested some Alfred headcanons, so here are my rambles about what I think he's like as a boyfriend!

He’s honestly not the most traditionally romantic person. Your relationship is more like friends who make out sometimes. But he does have his own little ways of showing you he loves you!

He’ll put together playlists of songs that remind him of you. They’re mostly loose connections, like maybe a song mentions your eye color, or the lyrics remind him of a date you went on together, or it just sounds romantic and makes him wanna kiss you. He likes to sit with you while you listen (to every single song), and he interrupts the songs a bit to explain why he chose them.

“This one had me thinking what if we were dancing in a ballroom together, and out of nowhere, bam! Zombies bust in. The door crashes to the ground! Our dance turns into one of those cool fighting scenes with the—oh, this part reminded me of the time I woke up early and you were about to fall off the bed. You had a cute bedhead.”

(You have no idea what the lyrics are at this point.)

Dates with him are pretty casual, more like “hanging out” than anything fancy. Maybe you stay at home and watch movies/play games, or you go out for dinner at a local diner, or you go do awful karaoke together, or you go and prank a friend together.

He’s happy as long as he’s with you. Bonus if there’s food and/or drink.

He occasionally takes you out to a more traditional restaurant and dresses for the occasion. They’re usually expensive, too. The food isn’t his preference (too complicated for his palate), but if it makes you happy, he’s all for dealing with it for just one night.

His primary love languages are acts of service and quality time. He’s always doing what he can to help you out (and feel proud of himself in the process). Whether he helps you run errands, runs a bath for you ahead of time, or fluffs your pillow before you get in bed, it’s all because he wants to make your life easier!

He gets a little jealous if you ever spend time with your shared friends without him, or if you spend more time with others than him.

He’s so excited if you take interest in any of his hobbies. Movies? He’ll ask if you want to co-write a script with him. (He’s very relaxed about what exactly ends up in the script.) Archaeology? He has so many random facts to dump on you, and he’ll be super impressed by any knowledge you have on it. Conspiracy theories? Time to watch a bunch of documentaries! He enjoys them despite their flaws, but lets you know exactly when something is false and what actually happened.

He tries to take interest in your hobbies, too, even if he doesn’t understand what you’re talking about. It could be the most boring thing and he’d still listen and ask you questions about it. If it makes you happy, he wants to know all about it.

Pet names from him consist of things like babe, dude (💀), honey, occasionally sweetie, (jokingly… mostly) prince or princess. It’s all over the place. He’ll call you honey and dude back-to-back sometimes.

He loves debating if you’re comfortable with it! But be warned, he gets very heated about certain topics. His sense of justice is important to him. Otherwise, he’s usually not serious about these debates and doesn’t care who wins.

He tries to keep things light and doesn’t usually let people see his more serious side. He’ll open up to you more over time, however. It’s really him letting a wall down and allowing himself to get closer to you.

Every now and then, he has days where he’s a lot quieter and calmer than usual. He just wants to relax, stay on the couch with you and watch movies or simply chat. Maybe a movie chattering in the background as he tells you about his childhood. He doesn’t try so hard to keep up this energetic, heroic persona.

He’s right back to normal the next day like nothing happened.

Likes to annoy you for fun. Not in a mean-spirited way. He just thinks your responses are cute and has poor impulse control. Poking your cheeks or ruffling your hair or playing an obnoxious song loudly on the stereo while he dances. But he’ll back off if you’re genuinely upset with him. He means no harm.

He loves if you’re willing to play along with whatever he gets up to. Maybe he’s decided he’s going to try and vacuum the whole house while doing a handstand on the vacuum. You can hold onto his legs to help him stay balanced.

This man is very impulsive and has a tendency to get himself hurt. Random bruises all over his body or a cut along his forearm. He bounces back easily, and doesn’t want to fuss over it, but he lowkey likes if you baby him about it. He’ll always say how it’s not a big deal and he can take it, but his heart does this little flutter when you show concern, and even more if you force him to take better care of himself.

He burns himself in the kitchen and you force him to run it under cold water. He’s swooning inside.

He likes to gossip about others, especially over breakfast. He can’t help it; he’s just nosy, and he always has an idea of what’s going on and how he can help out. Huge bonus if you gossip with him!

He loves to feed you, but the majority of the food he brings for you is burgers or tubs of ice cream. He likes to experiment with the burgers’ toppings and seasonings, but they’re all burgers nonetheless.

Every now and then, he does plan some big romantic endeavor. It’s like a surprise. You never know when it’s coming… You wake up one morning and find out he’s booked a week long cruise, your bedroom is filled with balloons, and there’s enough breakfast food on the table to feed an army.

He does this thing sometimes (often) where he swoops in and has to save you. A puddle on the ground? No need to fear! He picks you up and swiftly carries you over it. The safest place for you is in his arms. He’ll even lay down and let you use him as a bridge if you want.

A suspicious penny on the sidewalk? LOOK OUT, IT MIGHT BE A BOMB! Let HIM step on it before you get blown up!

He steps on it. Nothing happens. Better safe than sorry!

If you’re the more independent type, that won’t stop him from trying. He just wants to keep you safe and have you appreciate his efforts. Being disinterested or resistant will just make him try harder.

Says cheesy stuff like “happy wife, happy life” unironically. He’s also the type to use terrible pickup lines to flirt with you. Totally unaware of how bad they are until you start laughing.

He also doesn’t care that they’re bad. He’s just having fun.

Loves to give you his clothes to wear. Seriously. You want one of his hoodies? Try six of them.

You complain when one stops smelling like him so he puts it on, works out, then gives it back to you like :D! Fixed the problem!

He takes so many pictures of you guys. Videos, too. His phone storage is eaten up by it. His favorite thing is to take selfies together. Usually with some silly filter. Or an even sillier caption.

“me and the babe out shopping” and it’s a picture of you, holding a piece of fruit with the dog ears filter

He’s not the most physically affectionate, but he always gives you morning kisses and especially kisses before leaving the house. He also loves carrying you around (mostly bridal style) in his arms for no reason other than he can. A hand on your back, another on your thighs, your head pressed against his chest. He loves it.

He loves knowing you find him physically attractive! He worries sometimes about being too overweight, so any reassurance that you like his body helps. If you think he’s hot, and you’re hot yourself, that must mean he definitely is.

Has a tendency to call you hot, but he’ll call you other things if it makes you uncomfortable.

Occasionally brags about you and how lucky he is. Not as often as you might think. Though he gets oddly competitive if anyone acts like their partner is better than you and starts spouting whatever he can so everyone knows you’re the absolute best. No competition.

[zriasstuff]

Friends- Blaise Zabini x reader

Fluff drabble, post-break up reconciliation <3

It’s been two weeks since your break up with Blaise already, and honestly when you saw him, you still felt a sting in your heart. It didn’t work out in the end because both of you couldn’t manage to communicate with each other, and as lazy of an excuse it may sound like, it was true. Towards the end of your relationship you barely talked with each other anymore. It was as if you were even less than friends. Perhaps you were never meant to be in a romantic relationship after all because functioning couples would probably try harder to stay together.

But you couldn’t even manage that, instead you grew apart. The only time you’d see each other was class and every time you guys even made remote eye contact, it turned awkward for both of you.

Besides classes quidditch was always and still is a common ground. Blaise was obviously known for being a great beater and you for being a talented chaser, whose role is also substitute seeker. During training you still caught yourself secretly staring at him, but it was all in a harmless manner. Innerly you wish you’d still be friends, after all he was an incredibly caring and sensible person, yet some things just don’t work out, no matter how much you want them to. And neither one of you made the effort to rebuild a friendship. Or rather, you knew that you lacked the courage to take the first step.

Right now you should probably take your mind off of Blaise though and focus on the big game on Saturday against Gryffindor. Draco had gotten himself into the hospital wing due to a stupid leg injury caused by juvenile fighting, so winning the game as seeker should be your primary focus…

*time skip*

“HOW COULD YOU NOT SEE THE SNITCH?”

“ARE YOU BLOODY BLIND?!?”

“GREAT, WHAT AN AMAZING IDEA IT WAS TO HAVE YOU PLAYING AS SUBSTITUTE”

Your team-mates were yelling at you from every direction possible. As you already established, some things, as much as you want them to work out, oftentimes just don’t. Sometimes you wondered how it was possible that whenever you wanted something badly, it never seemed to work out in the end.

Feeling tears already forming in your eyes, you can only mutter out a pathetic sorry and run away from everything. It’s incredibly unfair to you. They were acting like you were the entire reason you lost, just because you weren’t completely focused. Even if you didn’t play your best, it wasn’t only your fault, and it’s supposed to be a team effort anyway. Still, no matter what you try to console yourself with, you still feel like crap.

During times like these, funnily enough, Blaise would probably be a great comfort to you, you think to yourself. In those times when you did communicate, Blaise knew how to cheer you up the best. Drowning in your despair, you didn’t even notice how much time had passed until you suddenly heard an all too familiar voice.

“I knew I’d find you here”, the voice echoes down to you.

Your heart stops for a second. Almost electrified. Hurriedly, you wipe away your tears.

“B- Blaise? What are you doing here?”

Hopefully you didn’t sound and look too distraught. Did he follow you?

“Whenever you’re upset, you come to this tree in the forbidden forest”

He sat down next to you, and before you could pull back he embraced you for a hug. Subconsciously your first reaction is to cling onto him. You feel his strong arms wrap around you so lovingly, as if it was the most natural thing in the world. All it took was one genuine, caring moment, and most of the awkwardness had faded away. No one in so long has been this familiar and comforting.

“You know, even though we’re not technically on speaking terms, I still care about you right? I just didn’t know if you still wanted to have anything to do with me”

“Of course I do, and thank you”, you sniffle. It was indescribably how much weight lifted off your shoulders in that exact moment.

“So, wanna start over as friends?”

“I would love that”

Apparently, a crappy quidditch game was all it took for one of the best people you know to be in your life again. And that “friends” term seemed good. At least for now…

[poetry-protest-pornography]

Let's talk about Sand.

I love Sand, and even though it hurt to see him use Ray last week, I loved that he was capable of the scheming required to do so: breaking his phone, lying to Nick, etc. And I love even more that when he saw how he had miscalculated, and how Ray was going off the rails, he tried to course-correct. Ultimately, he recognized his mistake (not accounting for how deeply fucked up the rest of Ray's friends are) and did what he could to take care of Ray.

I've seen a lot of people say that Ray is using Sand to get taken care of, and I very much disagree. Ray is enjoying getting taken care of, yes, absolutely, but he's not using Sand; not since that first time that he's paid for Sand to keep him company at least. Even then, I genuinely think that was Ray attempting to get what he needs without burdening others -- if he's giving Sand money, something he needs, then he's being useful -- but we're talking about Sand, sorry for the digression.

Sand has zero illusions about who Ray is.

He calls him out for being a lonely rich boy, for being a needy mess, for not being careful about people's feelings-- including his own.

Sand has seen Ray at his absolute worst. Has seen him drunk and throwing up and not remembering the next day. Has seen Ray drunk and asking to be left alone, because he's not worth it. Has seen him systematically blow up all of his friendships, and say goodbye to his best friend, and get behind the wheel of a car (something Ray has not done since meeting Sand, always seeking a ride from him or already being with him instead).

Sand chased him anyway. Sand let Ray chase him anyway.

Sand shows his love through caretaking; it's what he knows from how he was raised, as more of a friend and confidant to his mother than a child. It's not a healthy dynamic, but it's what he knows, and it's shaped his love language. Sand is a care taker, and he has so far sublimated that need to care for others by sticking to his routine, working, saving money, and making sure his mom is okay, avoiding relationships in favor of hookups.

Enter, Ray. A walking "please love me" sign that is also absolutely overflowing with love in need of an outlet, and Sand was never going to be able to turn away from such a kicked-puppy of a man.

When your primary way of relating to others is to take care of them, you do tend to ignore what might be best for you, but there's no way to turn off the deep seeded need to fix what's wrong for those in your circle (I mean, there's intensive therapy to try to keep from actually hurting yourself in the process, but you're always going to want to take care of people).

But Sand isn't doing anything to his own detriment. He's got his eyes wide open, and he is choosing to care for Ray anyway. He sees something in Ray worth loving, and Ray desperately needs to feel worthy of being loved, so that he can let all the directionless love inside him find a place to land. They both need to feel needed and wanted, in different measures, but they are both uniquely able to offer those things to each other.

Sand is a giver, but he's not being taken advantage of.

Ray is not a black hole, he's just been empty of love and affection for a very long time, and Sand, with his patience and his giant heart and his unwillingness to take Ray's shit, is happily waiting for the opportunity to fill that emptiness as soon as Ray stops trying to self destruct.

Sand is a good man, and I hope that he gets everything he wants (namely a world tour with Ray at his side).

[brighter-by-the-daly]

Erin Cuthburt x Reader

Road Back Home

Part of the Beth McCarthy mini song series

What Do You Call It?

Can't help overthinking

Every, "What if, is it a phase? Will I get over it?"

Like, "What if things change, what if I'm fake?

What if it's all just for the hell of it?"

But I'm in it, I admit it, I wanted this, ayy

I'm in it, I admit it, I'm different

Driving back up to Scotland all the memories came flooding back. Your childhood best friend Erin was in the passenger seat singing along very badly to the radio. Scotland had qualified for the World Cup and you were making the long drive up north from London together. Erin was the type of person to be able to make everyone in the room laugh and cared deeply about people she loved. You’d grown up together since primary school and was the reason you got into football. She was always playing at lunch time with the boys and needed a goalie, she convinced you that you wouldn’t have to do much - just stand there. That’s when your love of diving in the mud and throwing yourself on the ground was born, much to your mam’s disapproval. You’ve been through every stage of your careers together - from academy to climbing the national team ranks to pro. But that’s when you grew apart, you were signed to Arsenal while Erin got signed to Chelsea. Although you both live in London, you rarely get time to meet up and your friendship now consists of extremely quick catch ups after derby days.

Erin knew her sexuality from a very young age but you, yours was a bit more blurry. In the past you’d always dated men but ever since you could remember your feelings about Erin were always a little bit more honest than any previous relationship you’d had. You both had grown apart but now she’s sat in your car about to fly to Australia for two months all those feelings had come flooding back. She was still making you laugh and still showing signs that she cared about you deeply. While you were in the toilet at the service station she’d bought all your favourite snacks in your favourite flavours. Specifically the Wispa Gold or the purple Nik Naks or the vanilla Coke you barely even see anymore. Starting the car back up ready for the last stretch she handed you a cup of tea, taking a sip to taste the exact number of sugars you like for long drives caused a sound of pleasure to exit your mouth. “6 sugars because those sachets aren’t full spoons, I remember!” she chimed pleased with herself as she kicked off her shoes and placed her feet on the dashboard. “If I crash you’ll lose your legs” you scolded, hitting her legs so she took them down. “Where’d you learn that, Grey Sloan?” she was joking but she was right. You were always butting in on medical situations with your knowledge earned from binging hundreds of hours of Grey’s Anatomy. Proceeding to recite the episode of a pregnant woman breaking her legs because her feet were on the dashboard, she laughed at you. “I think you should be our medic rather than our goalie!” she remarked as you joined back onto the M6 heading for Glasgow.

Dropping her off at her mum’s house you headed back to yours for a few days before you met up with the rest of the team. Your bedroom hadn’t changed since you left home at 17 for Arsenal and still had football posters on the wall. Your bed still hoarded the shoe box of all your childhood memories, including the friendship bracelet Erin gave you in Year 6. Flicking through the photos of you both as children you laughed at some of the outfits you were made to wear. Old boyfriends were amongst them which you quickly passed by before finding the day you both got signed professionally. Proudly wearing your clubs shirts and holding hands, vowing to stay friends forever.

Except, was just friends enough for me? Would telling her the truth ruin everything? What if we could be something amazing and I never tried? I’d famously dated male players my whole career, would I be seen as fake? As an attention seeker? Does this mean I’m gay? Is there a word for only fancying your best friend? The second I say anything everything changes. If I admit that I like her, I admit that I’m different. All the questions running through your head went on for days, you were distracted the entire time by thoughts of how you’re going to have to pretend for two months.

“What ya thinking about?” Erin asked, you’d been staring out of the plane window since you boarded, unable to look her in the eyes since you picked her up this morning. “The fact there’s probably still a desk with your name etched into it back at school” you mumbled. “What, why?” You turned to look at her but you could tell she knew what you meant the second your eyes locked together. Feeling the whirl of the engine power the plane as you rumbled along the runway distracted you from the awkward silence. Grabbing your arm rests tightly to prepare for take off, you hated flying, it always made you feel sick. The nauseating feeling was lessened by Erin clawing your hand away from the plastic and into her lap. “I got you” she said resting her head on your shoulder, “I got you”.

[ms-scarletwings]

New (Cursed AF) Invader Zim Headcanon:

Barring the potential for major acute blood loss, Irkens can actually survive a full decapitation.

And I brought substance to make the case with.

Cockroaches, one of the most infamously durable of real life animals, can live for several days, sometimes even weeks without their head. And for the most part, they still even act like normal roaches- crawling about, reacting to touch, standing around, etc. it seems the only reason this eventually catches up to the critter is because no mouth = no way to keep bringing necessary food and water into the body. If that were bypassed, however, it stands to reason the little zombie could thrive just as much as a headed roach.

Almost disturbingly, the head itself can actually last a surprising amount of time solo as well. Experiments with decapitated roaches show that after body separation, roach heads can still move their antennae for hours before succumbing- much longer even if kept refrigerated and supplied with nutrients.

One of the neat things about roach bodies that makes such a feat possible is how their nervous system is set up- simplified ref against what yours looks like below

Now, anyone who has ever said a roach can survive for a while without its brain is not being entirely accurate. Functionally, they actually have two sort-of brains: the main point of nerve centralization is contained in the head, which for the most part is a primary brain responsible for movement coordination, certain technical functions, interpreting stimuli that comes in from the antennae, and more. The second main point of interest in this system is a series of nerve clusters running down the insect’s abdomen known as ganglia (singular: ganglion). These bundles of neurons are not exactly brains in their own right, but they do function as an extended CNS that handles the control over the digestive tract, reacting to stimuli, leg movement, and other more basic bodily functions. These can operate the body on a primitive level after the loss of the main brain, up until thirst/starvation begins to run the wind out of the sails.

You know what sort of creature actually DOES have two entire complete brains? One up top, and an auxiliary backup a little further down?

If you were nodding along and saying “irkens!” Then you would be correct! One peanut and five more days in the bunker for you 🥜 ~

As is obvious to anyone familiar with the show, the PAK is an essential cybernetic addition to Irken biology, holding their gear as well as an entire digital backup of their personality and memories. While it serves many functions to the user, the first and foremost priority of one is to protect the existence of the meaty entity it needs in to carry itself around.

To that end we’ve seen some autonomous acts from time to time with Zim’s close calls. If you recall “Plague of Babies”, he… kind of died for a moment there, caught up in a wave of GIR’s lethally amplified stupidity. In response, his PAK appears to resuscitate him with a quick jolt. The would-be events of “10 Minutes to Doom” emphasize the necessity of the PAK for any Irken’s survival beyond several minutes, which directly implies PAKs facilitate a major biological process their natural bodies are no longer capable of alone. Personally, I think it might be something either neurological or related to respiration, on a hunch.

Well, whatever it is, they are toast without it in swift manner, and the PAK doesn’t prefer to be without its other piece anymore than the body does. Dib’s revelation about the technology described their relationship with its body like that of driver and car, but I think he’s missing something. The PAK is actually more than capable of carrying itself around without the body… at least for a time.

When I think about those things, a little dilemma pops up in my head concerning how they.. well, how they’re powered. It is never explained or demonstrated that they are given time off of the body in order to charge; however, irkens are probably advanced enough to have some smaller and sci-fi wildly potent and small energy source up their sleeves, but actually, that wouldn’t quite make sense here. Because Irken bodies still produce their energy the same way every other lifeform in the known galaxy does, with food. Lots of food, actually. They can mow through snacks at about the same rate as Augustus Gloop. PAKs don’t need to produce their own independent energy source, they just need to efficiently make use of what this organism is already evolutionarily fine tuned to do naturally. Now that’s smart engineering.

And so, like any respectable auxiliary life support feature, they hold some of that energy in a reserve for those crisis moments like in “Plague of Babies”, and also in a deleted scene made for “Abduction”!

Fun trivia fact, but originally that episode was supposed to feature a sequence where Zim nearly game overs again. He takes a gnarly hit and a literal plunge through open flames that knocks him out in a free fall.

Despite his incapacitated state, the PAK extends its spider legs in order to catch a walkway railing, both saving his life and proceeding to keep carrying his limp body to a safer location, until of of course, he comes to about a moment later and carries on.

And neither of these are the only times it’s sprung into action the moment it detects something has gone horribly wrong. When accidentally detached from its own host, an emergency response will be triggered within the PAK in an attempt to reattach with its body. Failing that, it attaches instead to… well, whatever it can find.

In “10 minutes to Doom”, this was unfortunately Dib, an incompatible match (or maybe it just picked an improper attachment site), and in the comics… things got interesting at a point or two.

So, I already know what happens when you separate an Irken from their spinal brain, but what about the cranial one?

Because, they actually don’t seem on the same level of urgent necessity? Now that I think about it?

The time machine kerfuffle and the brain eating parasite escape were both events this guy evidently survived, albeit not comfortably or ideally until the problem was fixed (I have to assume in part with GIR’s or the Computer’s help). Now that I think about it Zim’s incredibly fortunate that most of these more serious mishaps happened inside of his base. But it’s theory time.

So, we do this, to a hypothetical green bug bastard

For fun let’s say, hypothetically again, like the hardy earth roach, he blood clots quickly.

Well, first and foremost, that higher up nervous system blackout is probably going to cue the PAK in to begin the following protocol:

1. Activate an emergency response to quickly access the situation.

2. Immediately scurry the body the hell away from whatever manner of threat just shaved a little too much off the top, engaging in all possible defensive measures if necessary.

3. Devote the entirety of its remaining backup power (of which it would have much more stored within the headless body than if it were itself detached) into making a beeline for the coordinates of the nearest Irken source of assistance. On the homeworld, or any fully colonized planet, this would be a cut and dry matter of finding the nearest theoretical space clinic or whatever those freaks have (maybe those dbz regeneration tanks? Idk that would be cool wouldn’t it?). For the lone invader… home base is the next best alternative, being a secured location with plenty of resources and advanced technology at the ready. I would bet my own head that situations like this are a huge highlight to the prime value of a personal SIR companion.

Now, best case scenario for what this help looks like depends on whether we can save and bring the head along too. Reattachment and repair at that point should be a pretty simple matter at the tech level we are working with, afterall. But that’s again, the ideal case scenario. Could they just… regrow the head eventually? We don’t really have a clear answer on what the limits and capabilities of what the Irken healing factor is, but I want to at least guess that having a personal lab and assistant on hand is going to help. Bare minimum, a solution can get worked out to supply the body with needed blood sugars again to buy more time.

The PAK itself retains a pretty much perfect digital backup of its body’s memories, experiences, and identity, so it’s not like information has been permanently been lost with primary brain damage. Replacing the primary brain entirely might be as easy as backing up your iPhone and downloading everything into some shiny new hardware. Hell, it may not even need be Irken hardware!

Do you know the real disturbing things from “Dark Harvest” NOBODY brings up are???

Why the fuck was an instantaneous organ-swapping device already just something Zim was carrying around in his toolset?

And

Zim’s morphology was horrifically receptive to those dozens of xenographs.

Those human organs were actually beating, pulsing, absolutely redundant and unnecessary in his body, but completely still functional and healthy in the name of selling his act to the school nurse. He didn’t just clumsily cram a bunch of offal into himself, he competently integrated them into his biology and somehow wasn’t suffering like… the tons of complications you’d expect from trying a stunt like that.

And in the comics, there’s this other fella I just adore for how skrangly he looks, and believe it or not, his actual fucking name is Skrang.

He’s a smart guy, though. Don’t be fooled. And I mean like, a smart guy. And it’s all thanks to a little help from a little upgrade he’s been fitted with :)

So, I hope you take all the implications I’ve been building here and make what you will of them. I genuinely think an Irken has a decent chance of making it out of a beheading alive to seek sadistic vengeance another day. Do I think ZIM could do such a thing? Tbh, I think he’d have to rely on GIR to come in clutch, and we may know that’s a complete roll of the dice in any case.

Wow, this got morbid, but, par for the course really.

[ladykissingfish]

20 Headcanons of my Favorite Akatsuki Member: Deidara

Something something the clay in his body/all the clay he’s chewed up somehow serves to severely dull his sense of taste. Therefore everything he eats *needs* to have an insane level of spice and heat to it just for him to be able to taste it.

His love of explosions is an inverse to his childhood fear of thunderstorms. At first he was afraid of monsters and his mom told him that if you make yourself scarier than the monster, the monster can’t hurt you. Cue Deidara practicing making the most horrible faces imaginable to freak out the creature under the bed. Later on Dei is scared of thunder and lightning, so mom tells him “be more fierce than the storm”. Thus is born experimenting with explosives.

He’s actually a fairly shy person. If he’s loud and obnoxious around you, it’s only because you make him feel comfortable enough to be so.

Deidara does not feel sexual attraction to someone unless he’s developed a very strong emotional connection to that person.  And even after that, sex to him isn’t all that important. He enjoys physical contact like hand-holding or kisses on the shoulder or neck more.

Dei is very intelligent. Scarily so. He thinks out five thousand moves ahead of everybody else all the time. But the problem is that he lets anger and impulsiveness take over so much of his brain that his logical side doesn’t get a chance to speak up as much as it needs to.

Deidara cherishes good conversation above all else in his friendships and relationships. Talking and debating over different topics gets him going in a way nothing else does. This is one of the primary reasons he fell so hard for Sasori; he’d never met anybody who could engage with his mind the way the puppet could.

Over time, Deidara came to feel very close to every single member of the Akatsuki, thinking of them as a second family. He even came to value Itachi, and enjoy being in his company, although it would take a miracle to pull this fact out of Dei willingly.

Dei is a big lover of stuffies/plushies. He feels a special kinship to those that are considered “ugly” or have something wrong with them (like a missing eye or a tear in the side).

Everyone assumes that to have flawless skin and perfect hair like Dei, that he must have an insane 29+ step skincare and body routine. But no. He’s just blessed with spectacularly good genes. He could skip washing his face and hair for a week and still look like he’s just stepped off of the cover of a beauty magazine.

When he was younger, he was highly sensitive about his looks. He was often bullied by outsiders for having arguably “feminine” features. He always felt his long hair was the majority of the problem and would beg his parents to cut it, but in their clan, cutting the hair was a taboo thing. Later in life after he lost his parents, he decided to keep his long hair as a tribute to them.

When he left home as a young teen, he spent a lot of years traveling and living off the land. He’s gotten to know about different types of animals and plants, and taught himself to fish and trap. Because of this nomadic lifestyle, he often feels uneasy or restless when settling in one place for more than a week.

Deidara figured out that “Tobi” was an Uchiha very early on in their partnership. He observed Tobi’s habits and even saw his unmasked face (and his sharingan eye) a few times, when Tobi had assumed Deidara to be asleep. But Dei was smart and realized that outing him or confronting him over it would likely end in Deidara’s own death. Therefore he continued to treat Tobi as if he was just a simpleton and never let on how much he actually knew. But Deidara’s constant training of his eye to be able to counteract gengetsu was as much for Tobi as it was for Itachi.

When he was a child, Deidara was embarrassed by the hands on his mouth, feeling like they made him a freak. Therefore he would never go out in public without gloves on, even in the hottest weather.

Dei has a voracious appetite and an insanely high metabolism, so he can eat and eat and remain as skinny as a rake. The first time Sasori ever took him on a date, he was mildly alarmed at how much food Deidara was able to put away, and went to Kakuzu later to ask if that was “normal human consumptive activity”.

Deidara isn’t one to dwell on feelings of loss or sadness but after Sasori’s death, he was consumed by depression for at least a year afterwards. Although Sasori’s puppet body was taken away, Deidara went back later and made Sasori a clay headstone at the spot where he died. He often goes to visit it, sitting and talking to the stone whenever he has free time. He also managed to find Sasori’s Akatsuki cloak and he uses this as a second blanket most nights.

Other than his own explosives, Deidara is extremely clumsy with weapons. He just doesn’t feel comfortable wielding anything other than his bombs.

He adores eating any and all types of fish, and although he isn’t the best cook he enjoys experimenting with different ways to prepare pescatarian dishes. He prefers fish he catches himself rather than buying from a market or peddler, and whenever the group has down time, he’ll often ask Kisame to go fishing with him. His biggest accomplishment was once wading into a stream where a salmon was trying to swim up a waterfall, grasping it and getting it to land with his bare hands.

Deidara is a complete lightweight when it comes to alcohol. One tiny drink is enough to put him on his ass. Also “drunk” Deidara is even MORE talkative than normal Deidara, so the others don’t include him when they drink very often.

In modern times, Deidara spends all of his free time in his room, listening to loud music (mostly Ska and classic rock) and sketching. He often goes through periods of extreme art block and he gets through them by binging reality tv shows. He’s especially fond of 90 Day Fiancé and has a little notebook where he keeps track of all the relationships throughout the different seasons of the show.

One of the most difficult things he has to adjust to in his relationship with Sasori is that Sasori is very quiet and doesn’t often openly express himself or his feelings. He’s not the most physically demonstrative person either, and although Deidara craves more attention from him, he knows that pushing for it would result in Sasori just shutting further into himself. One thing Dei noticed was that Sasori seemed to like touching his hair. So sometimes Deidara will go to him with a hairbrush and ask him if he minds brushing it out for him. Sasori will act like he’s being bothered, but he actually enjoys it quite a bit. Deidara will sit still and quiet for him and it’s in these close moments that Sasori is able to open up and speak freely to him about whatever he’s thinking or feeling.

[mrghostrat]

This isn’t really a question for you but to the other anons who say they “hate aus but love yours” and I kind of want to know why? I also LOVE your AUs and it’s not an insult to say they both (streamer/bnf) push the limits of the canon characters to almost breaking point. They’re really their own characters and it’s a good thing. But if you’re someone who hates aus I’m surprised they would go for the extremes? Have they just not given aus the chance? I think in their rush to praise you they’re unintentionally punching down on other aus. bBut if they like yours so much there’s so many other possibilities they could also love if they give aus a chance

i get it tbh! and i don’t think it’s inherently insulting to other AUs, because it’s not a matter of quality, it’s a matter of preference.

for some ppl, the characters’ roles as angel & demon and the STAKES that come with that, are so integral to their characterisation, and a key part of what makes their pining & their personalities recognisable. what they’ve been through, fighting the apocalypse and sneaking around under the noses of literal heaven and hell have formed them as people*, and their relationship, to an incomparible degree. and 6,000 years hits very different than a human lifespan.

it’s valid to prefer the setting that turned the characters into who they are. that’s the crowley and aziraphale we all love, after all. i love canon compliant or divergent fics, but for me, i just get restless reading such a narrow selection of plots and feelings, and have always loved the open-endness of AUs (in every fandom).

the other problem with AUs is that, by taking them out of their primary roles, it’s a lot easier for writers to tangent and drift away from accurate characterisation. without the tether of canon roles and settings and past decisions, you can very easily forget what makes them Them.

there are plenty of readers who consume fan fic because they want more stories about the characters AND the story/setting/context they’ve grown to love on the screen/page. i daresay most of them lol! i personally love characters more than anything, and like finding ways to tie their canon personalities and decisions into new settings, to see how they would approach human problems. but i understand feeling like crowley and aziraphale are only crowley and aziraphale when they’re in the universe that made them who they are now.

this isn’t to say that every other AU is badly written or unenjoyable. it’s just that it’s harder to get it right, which can be off putting for readers who value that to try and scour through the archive for something to read; and even when they are characterised well, it doesn’t change the fact that people who prefer canon simply don’t enjoy tearing them away from it. those people likely enjoy mine because i try very very hard to NOT make them their own characters, i want to change the setting and the stakes but i’m gandalf pouring over scrolls and documents trying to get every nuance of characterisation right, despite how Out Of Left Field the initial concept might seem. and so i’m lucky they’ve decided to give me a chance, be it from my art, my writing style, the snippets i share, or all the wonderful people who’ve recommended me.

source: i prefer human AUs and @thewolveswolf prefers canon compliant and we’ve had this discussion on the daily LMAO

[gavfleetout]

I will never shut up about this, but I cannot for the life of me understand why Ezra did not join Thrawn, or why they didn’t have thrawn not just be on a random planet, but command it. Or even if not that why they didn’t do literally anything other than what they did for the latter half of ahsoka s1.

My main issue is they had almost nothing happen to these characters for 10 years beside growing a beard and getting leveled up. I have specific changes I would make, but that’s the crux of it.

Thrawn is afaptable, and I believe if he was stranded on a forbidden land, he would secure the situation and make sure things were safe, and plot a course back home. Only Thrawn and his men had TEN YEARS on this planet. Thats a lot of time to just be chilling in your start destroyer. It feels like it’s more in character for Thrawn, who plans for every contingency, to amass and expand his forces. Recruit warlords and organize the planet in a way where he has more control over the situation, and more allies and resources to draw upon. He can still be looking for a way home, but after all this time, you can’t tell me he wasn’t trying to make sure that if return was truly impossible, he would still have his backup plan ready.

That brings me to Ezra. Ezra, at his core, is all about protecting people. He is full of compassion. So why do I think he would willing side with Thrawn? Because while Thrawn is not overly considerate of preserving lives, he is not wasteful with them either. And considering the planet they arrived in was so lawless, I can see a version of events where Thrawn convinces Ezra (who quite literally has no other options and probably expected to die after s4 let’s be real) that if they bring order and justice, different from the empire’s version of it, they can truly help the people of the planet. Even the Victorian snail guys.

But why would Ezra believe this? He’s seen Thrawn’s destruction first hand. Except that was when Thrawn worked for the empire. And Thrawn doesn’t care about the empire per se, he cares about ensuring a safe galaxy for his own people, the Chiss, who are not involved in galactic affairs or even known by most of the galaxy. I feel like if Thrawn made a concerted effort to empathize in order to win a desperate, victorious Ezra over, he could. And I think Ezra’s own want for justice and control and his own past temptation to the dark side would make the offer seem more appealing. HOWEVER I believe that Ezra would do his best to ensure a morality so applied to their new planet’s mini empire. He would do his best to limit thrawns abuses and probably look out for farmers and the little guys especially.

Thrawn would look out and see world that needs to be corralled and materials to be used, Ezra would look out and see a world suffering, and I think the two could make their efforts align.

But why do I think this is better? While I don’t know if it is better, it is more complex. 10 years change a person, and I don’t think Ezra would be the same after all those years when the only remnant of his home are the imperial forces. (Not that every character should be gritty and dark after a time skip, that’s stupid) I don’t think this change contradicts his character, and only adds to the dissonance when he and Sabine reconnect. To her, him joining Thrawn is a betrayal of their entire space family. But to Ezra, in that situation, it could have been the most Ezra thing to do. I also wish they’d expanded on Ezra and Thrawn relationships more, because Ezra being one of the few people to ever defeat Thrawn so utterly is an accomplishment, and I think Thrawn would value him as an ally and not just let him wander off with the snail men.

So yeah, I think having neither Ezra nor Thrawn having done or changed in any primary way over the span of 10 years is dumb and they should have had them be doing something. Preferably something angst and character drama building. Like they didn’t have to go tHis route, but they could have done something more interesting. Like cmon, you telling me Ezra just letting people get attacked by bandits and Thrawn hasn’t organized this misshapen planet into an efficient system?

[ramoth13]

Father of Destiny and the One Who Hears the Voice of the Sea

One of the things that I found myself in love with in this show is the depiction of Fatherhood and the relationship between Elendil and Isildur. It would be far too easy to look at this and say it's normal and move on, but in reality it is genuinely anything but normal.

Depictions of the Father/Son relationship in media is nearly always one of either misunderstanding, active rebellion, or violence. Yet, while all three of those elements exist within the narrative involving Elendil and Isildur, the thing we consistently see the most is tenderness, love, and affection. These are almost always exclusively reserved for Father/Daughter portrayals, NOT Father/Son.

Which is important for several reasons, not least of which is because it illustrates a very contrasted distinction between the only other Father/Son dynamic we see in the show (excluding, perhaps, the kind of absent Father relation with Elrond), with Ar-Pharazôn. With him, the dynamic is far more traditional. He's "teaching" his son wisdom because thats the way of things, it's a top down view of fatherhood that makes legacy, rather than individuality, the primary focus.

Legacy is not a bad thing, per se, but when Fatherhood fixates on this (as most traditional modes of masculinity demand of both Father and Son), the inevitable eventuality is that power must be incorporated to keep the dynastic legacy of the father alive. With power comes the need to keep it, and thrive with more of it. We see this even in "positive" depictions of fatherhood, think of all of the movies that portray a father being proud of his son and usually there is always a kind of continued legacy and even extended violence, a Father's dilemma solved by the violence of the son.

With Elendil and Isildur, however, what we get instead is concern for wellbeing and mutual respect, but even more, they actually like each other. This, this is huge. Father's liking their sons, and vice versa, is rare. Respecting each other? All of the time. But actually enjoying the company of the other? It's just an element you rarely see.

Notice how when Elendil is knocked down and Isildurn runs over (seen in the second gif above) what Elendil says isn't "Dont worry about me, keep fighting" which would have been typical and in keeping with the "Dont be weak" mentality. Instead, what we see is Elendil adress Isildur's worry and reassure him that he is okay. It's a small touch, but with huge ramifications. Elendil is acknowledging isildur's feelings without belittling them.

It's a wonderful quality that the creators added, because it could have been so typical without anything being off. Isildur could've been vying to upset and break out of his Father's shadow at every given turn. Elendil could've hated how his son made everything difficult for him in his political life. They could've made the dynamic normal. But instead, chose something genuinely wonderful.

The other element that puts this into a wonderful perspective is Elendil's humility. It's not a faux humility either, as again, we see with Ar-Pharazôn. He is in constant service to others, but without caveat. He quite literally serves others.

By creating a character that loves his children and serves others faithfully, he is simultaneously portraying positive masculinity in a way that allows for violence as a protector but does not glorify that violence as a need, but also exemplifies the allowance and even promotion of emotional maturity. He sobs for his son, he fears for his children, and he worries for his queen, yet also embraces his son, and speaks softly to those he cares for. This, then, is what is seen as keeping the Elven ways alive.

The contrast between Elendil and Ar-Pharazôn is lovely because it is mostly subtle, yet noticeable all the same. One is actively illustrating the wisdom of the Elves and Maia, the other exemplifies the pitfalls of humanity.

Of all of the wonderful things that RoP has done, the relationship between Elendil and Isildur might be the one that moves me the most.

[hexpea]

Ch. 2 - A Mother's Mission

You weren't born with any abilities, but your father was, now, a former sorcerer. The career choice nearly led to his death many times and put a strain on your family's relationship, but now it was going to lead you into your new life where you could properly care for your daughter.

Your mother had sent you the information for the caregiver position. It was just as she had said it was. The child, who you learned was named Megumi and carried their mother's surname of Fushiguro, was potentially born with the Ten Shadows technique, one of the most valuable techniques within the Zenin clan. The baby's mother did, in fact, die in childbirth and with his father excommunicated from the clan from his record of violence he was restricted from seeing his child. Because of all of this mess, the Zenin family needed a designated caregiver. And that caregiver would be handsomely compensated for doing so.

The only downside to the position was that it was for a live-in caregiver. Despite the fact that you'd have to leave Tsumiki behind, you figured that with the compensation from the gig, you could save up enough to establish yourself and prepare for the legal fees that came with obtaining full custody. You were at least grateful that your husband wasn't an overly violent man, that the situation you had faced was one-off, you knew Tsumiki would be safe for the time being. It was all for her benefit, you had to remind yourself. You would get your justice.

You spent the rest of your week packing a few bags of most of your things. Masaru primarily gave you the silent treatment while you prepared. You figured his mind was elsewhere anyways, your absence something beneficial for him. It hurt to think about, but you tried your best to convince yourself that you couldn't care less. 

When the day for you to leave finally came, you shared a heartfelt, tear-filled goodbye with Tsumiki. She was all giggles and smiles in her father's arms, she had no idea what was going on. You kept her smile in your mind as you departed for the train station with your two overly-stuffed suitcases. 

When you arrived at the Zenin estate, located on the other side of Tokyo's countryside, your bags were taken by two attendants while a third led you toward the main hall. Your heart began to pound with nerves, already knowing the type of man Naobito could be. 

The attendant leading you to the main hall opened the large screen door. There in front of you sat Naobito Zenin, the head of the clan, on a zabuton with his brother you knew as Ougi and a third, bulky and hairy looking man standing on either side of him. You immediately bowed once you were presented in front of them, trying your best to put on a respectful façade. 

"Welcome," Naobito's aged voice cracked out almost sinisterly. "You must be the one here for the caregiver position," he maintained serious eye contact. It almost made you want to dart out from the room, but, instead, you gently nodded. "Very well," he took in a deep breath with a small, crooked smile. "I am Naobito Zenin, current head of this clan," he introduced, "and this is my brother Ougi and my nephew Jinichi," he motioned to each of the men respectively. You gave another light bow to each as they stood with a sense of big-headed pride. "Let's begin the interview, shall we?" 

The questions began like rapid fire. They kept you on your toes, but you managed to sweep each one. You had to hide your own sense of pride in parenting knowledge. They also asked you about your past and associations within the jujutsu community. Those made you more nervous than the questions regarding job duties, even with nothing to hide! You'd be lying if you said you weren't sweating thanks to Naobito's short-temperament and heavy skepticism. He obviously wanted someone completely neutral with very little attachment to any of the major clans. The less you knew, the better. 

Naobito suddenly paused as the primary questions came to a close. He looked up at you seriously for a moment and then back down at the pages in his lap. "And you have a child of your own, do you not?" He held the pages of your information far from his face, attempting to read through a poor set of reader glasses as if he couldn't afford better ones. 

"I do," you answered simply, standing as straight as you could with a low hanging, humble head. "She is currently living with her father."

"I see," he twiddled the hair of his thin, straight mustache between his fingers. "So you do have hands-on experience?" You kept silent, knowing that this wasn't necessarily a question. "Then we shouldn't have a problem keeping you in our company to care for Megumi."

Your heart jumped for joy as you contained your excitement. Step one of getting on the right track was accomplished! 

"The baby is only three months old," Naobito explained with a hint of exasperation in his voice. "He is a quiet child to my understanding from the current attendants who have been caring for him." 

A boy?! You thought for sure the baby was a girl from their namesake. You tried to shrug off your confusion as Naobito continued explaining. 

"The primary threat to the boy's health would be his own father and my other nephew, Jinichi's brother, Toji, who now goes by the surname Fushiguro. It is his deceased wife's name and also the surname of Megumi," Naobito sounded almost irritated with this, as if he'd lost a battle he didn't sign up for.

As he spoke, he held up a head shot of Toji and kept a serious look on his face. The man in the photo looked absolutely sinister and cold, a dark figure with a scar along his lips. The gaze of the photo was so ice cold you swore you could feel it. "If you catch any glimpse of this man, you are to tell an attendant or one of the clan immediately. We will try to keep an extra attendant with you at all times, however, there will come times where you will be alone. If anything happens to the child, there will be consequences. That is, if Toji doesn't just take care of you himself," he smirked knowingly. Your mouth went dry with nerves as Naobito concluded. You were too far in to back out at that point.

They weren't giving you much of a choice, and you had very little knowledge in self-defense – as if that could help you against a man like that. And the Zenin clan was known to make people...disappear. But you had to go through with it, there were no other options. Saying this became your mantra, your way to push through an already cruel world. You gathered up as much bravery as you could. 

"You will be caring for Megumi at all times. If, at any time, you need to be away from him you are to establish a line of communication and ensure he is in the care of an attendant." He read the rules as if they were a verbal contract, his voice strict and unwavering.  "You should not be away from Megumi for longer than five hours per week. If you are, you will be subject to termination," he drew out that last word as if it were some kind of threat. "But I can assure you, you will be heavily compensated for your time should your work be of quality," he grinned in what could almost be described as an malevolent kind of way, as if he knew what he was asking for was unreasonable. "Do you accept these terms?"

You paused for a single moment, backtracking your thoughts, thinking if there were any other solutions. You couldn't find any. "I accept," you bowed deeply and humbly. 

"Wonderful," the man's smile continued as he motioned for a few attendants. They came forward and gave a small bow to you, keeping their heads low in the presence of the Zenin leader.

"Please, miss, come with us. We will give you a tour of the grounds and introduce you to Master Fushiguro," the attendant in the middle smiled cheerfully and motioned you to follow. You did as you were told with no second thoughts.

The Zenin property was much more vast than you had imagined, and were told. The main building itself, though large, was only a portion of the complete property. Most of the extended Zenin family members lived in smaller, still sizable homes on the property with the main building obviously housing the family head and his close relatives.

The final part of your extensive tour of the grounds was the final wing in the main building, what would be considered baby Megumi's place of living. Though an influential little one, it seemed as though Naobito had ostracized him to the farthest part of the building, a small corner with just his nursery, a restroom, and two attendants' chambers – one of them to be yours. 

Based on your experience of familial trauma, Megumi's forced distance was likely due to his father's behavior and banishment. That kind of trauma was unfortunately something you and the boy had in common; things always hadn't been smooth sailing between you and your parents, especially in this line of work. Perhaps having a similar experience would make raising him a bit easier. Time could only tell, but hopefully not too much time. 

You and the attendants giving your tour rounded the final corner to where Megumi's room was. Your heart fluttered with bittersweet excitement. You missed your own little one so incredibly much, hoping with all of your might that her father was keeping her safe and caring for her properly. But being around another little one to do a job that you felt born to do gave you at least an ounce of happiness back. 

"Hello, ma'am," a young, female attendant smiled from the armchair she sat in. A baby with thick, pitch black hair that darted in all directions, almost as if he had bedhead, was cradled quietly in her arms. "This is Megumi," she introduced, carefully coming to a stand. Megumi seemed pleasantly satisfied sucking on the ear of a small, stuffed elephant he carried. 

You were nearly too stunned to speak as she brought him closer to you. You choked back a stray tear or two as she gently placed him in your arms. Right away, he made you think of Tsumiki at that age: the chubby, little cheeks and bright, wandering eyes. You gave a small smile and whispered, "hello, sweet boy." 

[mistype360]

mbti and enneagram typing for @loupdelta

this blog will forever be beach themed

mbti: estj (ne heavy)

let’s begin with your thinking/feeling functions: te/fi. the questionnaire started off describing how you liked your job because of it’s thinking and logical aspects, which is the embodiment of higher placed thinking functions. there are also moments where you briefly convey te traits. for example, desiring logical consistency in life, and hating changing your mind unless absolutely unnecessary. 

what leaned me towards te over ti was your relationship with authority. like many mbti types high in thinking, you find yourself logically critical of rules inflicted upon you. in response, you evaluate these rules against your own framework of logic and thought, which could indicate either te or ti. the key difference, however, is that you aren’t heavily influenced by your environment, and don't easily change this framework of logic. you even have clear expectations for how authority should behave, which is more characteristic of te.

even then, the inferior fi is pretty clear. you mention that it takes a long time for you to process your emotions. emotions may be worrying for you due to their importance (te and fi). you are also a very “consequence’ oriented type, as you described in dealing with emotions, indicating you prioritize objective functions, particularly te. 

for your intuitive functions, it really came down to wether you were higher in si, or ni, with si winning out for a couple reasons (listed from least to most important/impactful) 

you’re good at memorizing, esp for pleasure 

need practical experience to master something (sensory>intuition)

doesn’t like doing things at random, or being in an unpredictable situation 

sometimes enjoy taking risks (tertiary ne – boredom functions silliness)

in art and writing you are messy spontaneous (again, tertiary ne expressing itself) 

prefers to know consequences of actions or situation 

regains energy in predictable environment (but gets bored because of tertiary ne) 

tertiary functions are the playground function in one's stack, almost like one's inner child. they are "cognitively comforting," a source of balance in day-to-day life that can often be categorized as tiring or draining.

also, the way you use ne is very playful. at a “high,” you enjoy meeting new people, doing new things, or getting opportunities. even you yourself describe ne behavior as a way to refuel when life gets repetitive (te-si). any “big picture” or intuitive-imitating traits likely stem from te, rather than ne.  

this is also why i am not typing you as an entj or even intj. i don't see you using a lot of ni in comparison to your ne. if anything, i would alternatively type you as an intp or even entp, as i am much more sold on your sensory/intuition functions rather than your thinking/feeling functions. (i elaborate more at the very bottom of this post)

the biggest argument against si would probably be your “clumsiness” (using hands, breaking things on accident, daydreaming often). this is again, probably ne. or alternatively, this is just a lack of se in your stack. even if you show these traits, you also show a lot of te and si working together as dominant and auxiliary functions (impatient when physical tasks don’t work out, doesn’t like vague questions, hyper aware of resources and time, etc etc).

enneagram: 3w4 sp/so, 3w4 5w6 9w8 (356)

alternative enneagram: 6w5 ??/sp 638

your primary type is most likely sp3 (pretty obvious so i'll keep the explanation brief):

afraid of weaknesses being shown (slight 8)

like to motivate, energize, and "foster a cooperative environment" (could be sp3 but you only do this when necessary it seems)

focused on achievements

afraid of failure

pragmatic almost

the wing for the 3 was pretty unclear for me. you are not very prideful in either the 2 or 4 sense. i went with 4, as i don't see that much on shame or something that indicates 2 with your relationships with those around you.

also, somewhere in your tritype, there's a 5 fix. if it's not your core type, than it is definitely a strong fix, especially when winged with 6. from what you describe, regaining energy when alone is indicative of sp5. the interest in learning about how the brain works or understanding how others think aligns with the traits of a 5w6 or 6w5. you also say that some questions are vague, which checked out with how meticulous a 5 can be sometimes. lastly, not liking when things get out of hand, and often indirectly take control of a situation is 5w6.

in my opinion, you have a stronger enneagram 9 influence than you might realize. while you don't fit the stereotypical image of a 9, this aspect of your personality seems to be a fallback mechanism or a way to handle trivial or quick decisions. the desire for an independent life with peace and the fear at being betrayed by loved ones could hint at type 6.

bonus: socionics!

socionics is not my strong suit but dichotomy-wise, you are obstinate over yielding definitely. you are also a little bit more far sighted and logical>ethical. this means you are most likely LII or ILI, maybe even LSE just to match your mbti

[distantdarlings]

BATED BREATH // p.parker

RATING: PG-13 / 2.2K WORDS

Peter Parker (Tom Holland) x Reader Insert (No gender-specific details)

+ SUMMARY - After a fight with your parents, who happen to be the Toomes, and your twin sister, Liz, you find yourself at a long-time acquaintance and current class project partner's house. You vent to him and soon find yourself admitting more than you meant to. (Angst, Romance)

+ WARNINGS - Language, angst, mentions of self-hate, kissing.

+ MUSIC (listened to while writing) -

Beautiful Hell - Adna

---

The brown-haired boy before you sat comfortably on his bed. He looked like he belonged right there: in a teenage boy's room with a loving aunt in the other room. He had a place. You didn't. It was hard to come here every other day just to see things you had only dreamed of, being someone else's reality. It didn't feel fair to you. Fuck, life wasn't fair to you. Life hadn’t been fair to him either. As wonderful as Aunt May was, I’m sure he ached for his actual parents and his Uncle Ben every day. 

"Peter?" 

"Yeah?"

You didn't answer. You felt like the younger boy had better things to do than listen to you bitch about your home life. It wasn't ideal but it could be so much worse, you knew that. You wondered if Peter would even listen if you did speak about it. The two of you were only here together over a class project. It wasn’t like you guys were friends. Or maybe you were? You weren’t sure. It seemed like Peter enjoyed hanging out even outside of working on this project, but you weren’t sure if that was false hope or reality. You wanted him to think you were friends. You’d known each other since primary school and had hung out socially plenty of times but always with other people. 

You wanted so desperately for someone to take you within their arms and whisper into your ear, telling you sweet lies and crazy dreams. You had reached the point in your life where you preferred a lie to a truth, especially now since the truths in your life seemed more like something that might happen in a television show. You were just tired of having to stand these problems yourself, you wanted someone to hold your hand tightly against the crash of the waves.

Though you didn't speak, Peter seemed to realize it wasn't because you didn't want to. It was because you couldn't. Some things didn't need to be spoken aloud, though. They were just known to be off-limits. The gorgeous boy rose to his feet and came to stand just before you. His eyes were trained on your hands but he did not move.

“Is it…your dad?” he spoke, barely above a whisper. Your eyes found his collarbone, then his chin, then eventually his eyes. Both of your eyes seemed to flicker back and forth instead of sticking. Your stomach churned at the question. 

Your father tended to focus too harshly on his work. He was never home, he was never happy when he was. Your mother never spoke to you anymore, just a quick ‘hello’ and ‘goodbye,’ in passing. She missed your father, you knew this. You missed him too. You had no relationship with either of them any longer. And hearing Peter talk about how great your sister was constantly slowly pulled you away from her, as well. The two of you never had much of a relationship in the beginning, but the small tinges of jealousy that ripped at your heart every time Peter mentioned her made the distance between you even larger. That was wrong, you knew it. But you couldn’t help it. You felt like no one was on your side. 

You were a person who had a constant desire to be loved. You wanted to be touched and spoken to with gentle words and soft lips. You wanted those words to be spoken against his skin with a pillow-soft touch placed there by a boy like Peter. Jesus, you just wanted to be loved as equally as you loved.

"I don't know if I’m worth all this worry, Peter," you joked, refusing to make eye contact. The past few weeks with Peter doing nothing but laughing and working and enjoying each other’s company. It had been perfect, having someone tend to every emotional need you had without worrying solely about their physical needs, but Peter deserved someone ten times what you were, and that frustrated you. You had finally accepted you wanted Peter, but he was much too nice for your dirty, ugly soul. When you’d come to the younger's house with your attitude miserable and your clothes like some kind of delinquent, it had solidified what you’d already believed to be the truth. You weren't on Peter’s level in any sense of the word.

"What do you mean?" Peter spoke slowly. He touched a curved fingertip to the back of your hand. You wondered what the younger saw when he looked at the bruises painted beneath your eyes. Did he see a delinquent? Did he see some stupid kid only half-worthy of his pity? Tears welled in your eyes. Was all of this because Peter pitied you? Stupid, poor kid getting screwed over by a goody-two-shoes sounded like the most cliche film plot of all time.

"You could do so much better than me, and I—" you choked on your words, embarrassed of what you’d just said. “I mean, with the project and all—you could get a better partner and I think you hanging out with me is making my sister dislike you.” You didn't want to cry in front of Peter. You didn't want pity, you just wanted Peter, without him having any feelings for your sister. Peter’s head dipped down to meet your eyes.

“Hey, hey, don’t cry,” he spoke, the concern on his face prevalent. “What’s all of this about? I’m sorry for asking about your dad, I shouldn’t have said anything.” 

“No, it’s not that, Peter—”

“Then what is it? Whatever it is, I’ll be here, I promise,” he spoke gently, pressing his hands to your shoulders, his finger squeezing gently. The feeling was soothing and only coaxed the tears out even more. You let out a choked sob and felt a few tears slip down your cheek.

“I…,” you started, your voice cracking under the weight of the tears. His eyes never left yours. “I like you, Peter… like, a lot. And every time you talk about Liz, it physically hurts me. I’ve had a crush on you for forever. I’ve watched you pine after her for years…and I get it, I really do. She’s absolutely gorgeous and absolutely perfect. I know that I’m nothing like her, but I wish you’d look at me that way. I’m in love with you, Peter.”

The younger placed his hand on the back of your neck and gently lowered your head down to his shoulder. It took a lot for you to break down but you figured after having to bottle everything up for so long, it was about time you vented. Your arms slowly wrapped around Peter’s waist in a tight embrace as the tears spilled from your eyes. You were embarrassed by this, to say the least, but you couldn't bring yourself to pull away from the boy. The tips of his fingers were slowly tracing the length of your spine and shoulder blades in an attempt to comfort you. 

It took a while but eventually, the world stilled. Your breaths evened out and the tears on your cheeks dried. The only movement in the room was that of Peter’s hands still following their path up and down your back. Soft breaths were heard and heartbeats pounded against chests—it was easily the most intimate moment you had ever experienced. It had taken you a while to realize it, but boyfriends and friends and school didn't fill the void that had been left in your heart. You weren't quite sure what exactly did, but Peter came pretty damn close to whatever it was. For the first time in a long time, your chest felt full. Your pulse beat against your throat and wrists and it wasn't because of some stupid boy you’d been messaged by late at night, it was because of a boy you actually knew the name of. A boy that would take care of you in more ways than just sexually. At this point, you’d take being Peter’s friend over never speaking to him again. It didn’t matter if he saw you like he did your sister, it mattered that he was holding onto you and seemed to care. 

You lifted your cheek from Peter’s shoulder and looked into the boy's eyes for one of the first time that night. You looked for any lies or misconceptions in them but couldn't find anything, Everything about the boy seemed so genuine and you hoped so deeply that it was true. Your eyes fell from Peter’s and hesitantly found his lips. Your lips parted in a stifled breath, you didn't want to force anything on Peter after he'd done nothing but take care of you, but you had to know. Had to know if he felt the same way, after all these years.  

"It’s not your sister,” he whispered. “I could do no better than you, I swear," he whispered, his lips brushing against yours. You exhaled sharply, feeling the other's hands on your cheeks before you felt his lips on yours. He groaned softly and tangled his hands into your hair, to which you replied by pressing your hands to the sides of his neck. Everything felt rushed but you couldn't help it, you’d been waiting for this since the day the two of you met. Jesus, you wanted him so bad, it hurt. 

Your back touched the wall as the kiss deepened. You couldn't think of anything you’d do to change this moment. Peter disconnected their lips suddenly and placed his forehead on your shoulder. Both of you panted heavily, seemingly waiting for the other to speak. You didn't know what to do so you simply let time pass emptily, save a single hand that went up to curl gently into the hair at the base of his neck.

"Peter?" you whispered shakily. Peter straightened his back and looked at you. Fuck, did he regret kissing you? Though Peter was only a bit taller than you, you felt significantly smaller with the way both of you were standing. Peter’s hands trapped you against the wall and his back was arched strongly over your body, while you nervously hunkered down like a small child. His nose nudged yours gently, the hair spilling over his eyebrows softly tickling your skin. 

"Yeah?" he whispered, never pulling away from you. It wasn't like you wanted him to anyway. One of his hands came off the wall and softly stroked against your cheek, making you feel like you were the most precious thing in the world. A burst of passion exploded in your chest at this minuscule gesture.

You were trying to find a steady line of thought, to say what you wanted to say, but every word that had tried to slip from your lips was long gone. You shuddered at the feeling of Peter’s body pressed against yours and allowed yourself to remember where you were right now. This wasn't time for fucking small talk. You reconnected your lips. It was easier than trying to make sense of this situation. Whether he wanted your sister or you, it was you he was kissing right now. You were going to make the most of it. 

Peter responded instantly, placing his hand back against the wall. Your head ushered his up in a strong, controlling movement, biting his bottom lip in the process. You felt chills run down his arms and spine at that single action. You hadn't felt like this in a long time, it was shocking what feelings the boy was pushing into your heart. You were ready to follow this boy to the ends of the world, there was no doubting that. 

You slid his hands around your waist, pulling him as close as he would go. Your chests bumped intimately as your teeth clashed with the force of the movement. The rhythm flowing between the two of you was more beautiful than music—every breath of Peter’s hit your ears and every brush of his fingertips against your skin was like an operatic crescendo. Every touch felt like an electric shock shooting through your body, it was almost too much to bear.

Peter leaned down and slid his hands beneath the back of your thighs, propping you up against the wall. You gasped into his mouth at the sudden action, you had never been in this position before where you weren't one hundred percent in control in a relationship. It was just your personality. Every previous time you’d been with someone, they'd been the one beneath you, dragging their nails down your back and begging you for more. But now, this felt much different. Having someone else do the work almost felt better. Your arms slid around Peter’s shoulders, entangling your fingers within the boy's ruffled hair. 

You realized at that moment, pressed up against your new lover's wall, knowing every single one of his most sensitive areas, and letting him know yours, that you’d found your place. Maybe it wasn't as the owner of a special scholarship or being your parents' pride and joy, but it was a good one—one that made you happy. And you intended on staying there as long as Peter would allow you to.

[voxxisms]

heres some lore about the alastor i plan to write. please note that he's being written with a lot of intent, not necessarily reflective of the canon character or even all of my actual headcanons about him. he is a character i am essentially building for my own entertainment - i love all of the portrayals of alastor, ive been enjoying making one thats meant to make my friends' alastors upset essentially LMAO anyway under the cut bc you know it got longer than i meant it to

alastor was born january 1, 1897. death date marked for june 1, 1935. born to esther && marcus durand in louisana. there will be no ties to voodoo/houdoo in any way, i do not know enough nor do i think i want to put any sort of focus on it personally. its purely aesthetics with the stitching on his face, more meant to make him seem like someone who was puppeteered. he's been molded into who he is.

his father was a killer first, when alastor found him butchering a man, at the ripe age of eight, he chose to try to make a sort of assistant out him, && he succeeded. he raised alastor to be a killer, with grey morals, if any. esther was a doting mother && wife, but entirely unaware of her husband && son's activities. alastor was mostly socially isolated, his father kept him away from his mother as much as he could in an attempt to keep their secrets, well, secret. their relationship already was tumultuous for the time && kept as much under wraps as possible, && to give alastor a good shot at things, lived with his father, while his mother lived in another neighborhood. they weren't unhappy by any means, a devoted && loving couple, arguably very sweet to alastor, save for his father's choice of passed on passion for killing.

alastor developed into an adult with little idea of what normal male relationships were like. his mother was off - limits to harm, as were any other women, but men were their primary targets. no rhyme or reason, really, not for marcus, but alastor later would find himself killing only those he liked. a sick, twisted devotion.

he went into radio, with a voice smooth for it && his father wanting someone on the inside of the information circuit. he enjoyed it greatly, made a name for himself very well there for a local celebrity of sorts. he made good money, brought attention to the family name, earned his father's further respect.

in 1928, his father was caught. begging his son to solve this problem, on his hands && knees, asking him to do something, anything, alastor murdered his own father to save him the torture of prison or death row. he spun a web of lies to his mother, he was reported missing, && his body never found at the bottom of the nearest bayou.

alastor, however, would not stop there. intimacy && loyalty was now marked by murder, && his favorite of people would suffer by his hand. he would kill them, lovingly, slowly, relishing their voices && cries && pleas. but eventually it had to catch up. he was the common denominator, after all. he was caught, persecuted, && hanged, with his own mother present for his death, sobbing for the loss of her son && husband both, aware now of his wrong - doings.

he found his father in hell. marcus was very angry, a very angry man, indeed, && for the better part of three months, they fought every time they crossed paths. marcus would claim that he had not asked for his death, that he failed his mother, that he was a failure of a son, && that if he was here, it was all because of alastor. when the first extermination came after alastor's arrival, he managed to lock his father out on the open, allow him to be cornered, leading him to his second && final death.

alastor started working towards gaining power, displeased by the lack he had, && determining the easiest path forward was removing those above him, all the while gaining contracts over time. he began to broadcast the screams of his victims for all to enjoy. eventually, he found himself at the top, with few left to antagonize && a deal having to be made otherwise to keep him under one's control. so he settled down upon a throne of bones && screams, before he disappeared for seven years && then returned with a new investment, in the one && only hazb.in h.otel.