#spoiler alert you'll see more of her though!

[threeletterslife]

doyun………..doYUN???????????? DOYUN???????????????????????? 😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

༼ ༎ຶ ෴ ༎ຶ༽ ༼ ༎ຶ ෴ ༎ຶ༽ ༼ ༎ຶ ෴ ༎ຶ༽

i was so hyped to read the chapter i didn’t notice the tags ☠️ thus im in immeasurable amount of pain

AHAHAHA..... 🥲 ha.... ha.... 🥲🥲🥲🥲 it was my plan from day 1 😭 i am so very sorry

[dotster001]

What kind of parents are they?

Requested by @stygianoir

A/N: as per usual with these long ones, staff and non NRC will be a separate post that I someday make

CW:raising kids, but gn. No talk of whether birthed or adopted

3k follower masterlist

Riddle Rosehearts

1 kid

Riddle is a learn as you go kind of parent. Breaking the chain is hard. It takes generations. He knows that, so was always hesitant to ever raise kids. But with you he thinks he can speed up the process. He is a little strict, you can't win every battle, but he's much more understanding. And that's the difference between him and his mother. If he makes a mistake, or upsets your child, he takes the time to understand and grow from it.

Trey Clover

3-8 kids

He's a jovial father. He's calm but everyone can see he's just so happy to have this life. He's the kind who will quietly sit with the kids to help them with homework, boop their noses with chocolate frosting, tell the worst dad jokes ever that make them laugh so hard they pee, and tucks them in snuggly so "the monsters can't reach them". A soft man, who when he passes, the kids will always remember dad as someone who had a smile for everyone.

Cater Diamond

0-2 kids

Honestly, Cay Cay is one of the ones who if you wanted to have kids, you'd have to try hard to convince him. But for the sake of these HC's, we'll ignore the 0. In all honestly, he starts out incredibly scared and tense. He's worry he'll break the kids. But he slowly gets over it, and becomes the cool dad. The dilf at pta meetings His holiday cards are always the best, he sets up a haunted house for the neighborhood during Halloween, puts on a light show during the winter, dresses the kids in modern fashion…a lot of parents are so jealous. They wouldn't be so jealous if they knew the literal blood sweat and tears he puts into it all though. You need to tell him to calm down from time to time.

Ace Trappolla

2-5 kids

Hybrid of cool dad, and concerning dad. He'll let the kids do pretty much whatever they want, as long as they don't disrespect you. Sure you and your friends can go snowboarding, but your room better be fucking spotless, or you'll be praying to the seven for your soul. Yeah you're friends can- what the fuck do you just say about Y/N? No more friends. You're grounded. You'll have to try your darndest to get him to watch his language. Spoiler alert, he never will.

Deuce Spade

3 kids

Deuce is the kind of dad where, when people asks if he wants to raise a boy or a girl, he says boy. Not because he doesn't want a girl, he's just scared he'll fuck her up on accident with some of his behavioral tendencies. But in the end…he's a girl dad. He raises three girls, whether by birth or adoption, that's just how his luck turns out. And he's the best goddamn girl dad ever. By kid three, he only wants girls, cause how the fuck do you boy dad? Even as the girls get older, he isn't scared of some of the things that come with women. He always carries pads and pain killers. Anytime they need advice on relationships, and societal problems, they know they can go to dad.

Leona Kingscholar

1 kid

The one is a struggle for him. He doesn't want to have a second born who will go through what he did. So only one kid. That's it. He…to his surprise…turns out to be exactly the way Mufasa raises Simba. Stern when necessary, but totally down to rough house and play. He never even thought he had the energy for a kid…turns out he does. He loves his little rat more than life itself, and will do anything to prep him for life so that he can have the things Leona never did.

Ruggie Bucchi

5-8 kids

Teaches his kids early on to be light fingered. Imagine a bunch of hooligans running through the street, and when they're gone, you realize you're wallet is gone too. That's your kids. But only when you're not looking. He's raised them to understand not to snitch on dad. 😒 Otherwise no one can have fun. Other than that, he's a really soft dad. Playing with the kids, good for hugs, cooking meals that get them all their nutrients, but also provide comfort. The moment he can afford it, Ruggie is becoming your perfect little househusband.

Jack Howl

5 kids

He's the kind of dad that outsiders worry is a little cold and distant. But that's not the case. They just don't know how to read him. He has his own language that his kids perfectly understand. Left eyebrow quirked=what do you think you're doing? Right side of mouth quirked up=I'm so proud of you. Left side quirked down=that's not funny. Etc etc. The kids can always count in dad for snuggles if they are sad or have a bad dream. Even if he doesn't always remember to verbalize it, they always know they are loved.

Azul Ashengrotto

4

He's the one who has every step of his parenting and finances planned, to flawless perfection. And then immediately panics when he realizes you can't plan for everything, children are unpredictable. The first kid that breaks a bone, he's just wanting to go back to his octopus pot. Not to mention if your kids are birthed, he's not prepared for half octomer, half human, kids. He's unprepared, and very scared, but he's a loving dad…even if he seems too tense sometimes.

Jade Leech

1-3

He's the Gomez Adams, raising little Wednesdays. Female and male Wednesdays, but Wednesdays nonetheless. So excited, big smile, happy to be alive with you, and with your kids! Meanwhile the kids are all dark and brooding. It always looks so professional when you all walk up in business attire, Jade smiling, as the kids, also in business attire, have the darkest expressions on their faces. 

Floyd Leech

2-15

Rough housing dad. He raises a bunch of chaotic rascals. They're all sweet kids, but damn some of them have so much energy it scares the neighbor parents. Then they'll look over and see eel merman wrestling three of them and laughing like a mad man. He'll bandage them up, and give them kisses on their boo boos, but he won't calm down. Not that he needs to, they don't want him to calm down. Dad's fun!

Kalim al Asim

8-whenever you say to stop 😁

Party dad! He's a, "we rather you tried it at home than with strangers" kinda guy. By the time he is parenting, he's a little better at self control though, so he's willing to be that buffer, and help kid's stop before their limits. Also, he's the kind that pouts if his kids don't say, "I love you" when he drops them somewhere.

Jamil Viper

1-2

Strict dad. Old habits die hard. Or don't at all. You'll have to be self aware if he's too hard on the kids. The thing is, he has only had his freedom for so long, and his kids. The reason he's like this is because he's scared. His kids have a freedom that previous generations of Vipers never had. He doesn't want them to throw it away. He's terrified one misstep and they'll lose everything. You'll have to calm him down sometimes. But the kids, especially the older they get, will understand that this is how dad protects them. He also gives out expensive gifts if he thinks he's taken things a step too far… the kids love that.

Vil Schoenheit

1

There's no way this man doesn't raise a high achieving, future ex gifted child. So at first, he'll beam with pride as his child produces the best results, grades, magic, appearances, etc. It'll be a bit of a learning curve when the crash hits, and won't understand right away. But once he does, he becomes the biggest advocate for mental health services,and getting kids the care and enrichment they need. He does speeches, runs rallies, becomes the face of any movement that has to do with his kid. 

Rook Hunt

15

Teaches his kids to hunt like wild animals. He's the kind of dad that says, "I'm gonna take the kids out!" And later you find them in the middle of the woods, hiding in the bushes, waiting to jump you in a tickle pile that is inescapable. He's raising wild animals. And yet…somehow…the kids seem normal as they age? At least that's what you see…

Epel Felmier

5-7

Another one who raises hooligans. You have a bunch of freckled, sunburned kids, all who live outdoors and climb trees. But the kids are never alone when they are hooligans. Dad is always in the tree with them.

Idia Shroud

2

Scared shitless. He's a gentle parent, but, God, is he terrified. Everyone knows it. Anytime the kids get sick, or hurt, or sad, he's always worried it's cause he fucked up in some way. But once he calms down, he's always good at calming them down. He's gentle and understanding…once he gets out of his own head.

Malleus Draconia

1-15

He has to raise the future heir. So on the one hand, he has to be strict. But he makes it clear early on, that there's separation from work and home. Aka, sometimes he is father, king of darkness, and sometimes he is dad, server of applesauce. The kids are smart enough to know the difference, and figure out which Malleus they are talking to.

Lilia Vanrouge

3

When you and Lilia discuss raising a family together, you aren't expecting Silver to come to you with stories of how he was left in the middle of the woods for training…and if you don't say anything, you're destined to be raising kids with Lilia Vanrouge, delightful scamp, and general to Malleus Draconia's armies. If you have that conversation, you'll be raising kids with Lilia Vanerouge, delightful scamp, and nothing else. Usually. Make sure if he's giggling, and you can't find the kids anywhere, you know exactly where they are.

Silver

1-2

Quiet dad. A lot like Trey. He's soft and gentle, and the kids can count on him for snuggles, whether he's awake or not. A man of few words, but perfect for a lullaby, deep life advice, and snuggles.

Sebek Zigvolt

3-6

Soccer dad. Angrily yelling at his kids when they are subpar, and angrily yelling at other kids when they come for his kids. Fiercely loyal to the end, and to a fault, he will protect his family at all costs, even if he does grump and groan about it the whole time.

[thebestsetter]

Thinking about Isagi Yoichi, the hero of Japan and biggest egoist on the field, being a complete loser when it comes to the girl he likes.

Like, he may insult the opposing team's players (and even his own teammates sometimes!) in the field, but gets all red and stutters when he needs to talk to you.

Isagi Yoichi who is absolutely delusional. If he holds a conversation with you for more than 5 minutes, you can bet he's gonna think about it during THE WHOLE WEEK. His friends can't escape his feelings either: he's always talking about you or associating things with you. Like: "Oh, she would like this!" Or "You guys won't believe it: we talked for almost 10 minutes today!" Please save Hiori and Bachira. They can't take it anymore. (Well, Bachira doesn't really care, but Hiori is really almost losing his shit.)

This absolute dork would listen to love songs while thinking about you and then get all blushy after, hugging a pillow while stuffing his red face on it and everything. And heaven forbids anyone enters his room after you compliment him! He's kicking his feet, screaming, crying and laughing all at the same time. SPECIALLY if it's a compliment regarding his football abilities. Say something along the lines of "That goal today was amazing, Yoichi! It was such a smart play!" and he's melting and thinking about it through the whole month.

Speaking of football, he'd LOVE to see you in his soccer games/practices cheering loudly for him. I mean, he's already absolutely smitten for you, but seeing you there screaming because of his goal or smiling because of a play he made just makes his obsession love for you grow 10 times bigger!!

He'd even ask his mom for advice on what to say to you! She thinks it's cute her little boy is growing up (even though he's already 17), so she tries to help him the best she can. But there's just so much mama can do. He tries to follow her teachings, but, as I said before, always stutters and trips over his words, which makes him feel really stupid and almost give up on love, since it's a "very hard and painful feeling that just hurts people" (his words).

When he finally musters up the courage to ask you out on a date (after a lot of insistence from Hiori, who is just really tired from all of this), he wants it all to go perfect. He has it all pictured in his head: he'll ask you to meet him in the back of the school after extracurricular activities so he can ask you out. He'll have flowers and everything, and then he'll say that speech he spent the last 14 days memorizing. You'll say yes with a smile in you face (he's already blushing just from imagining your smile, he really is down bad) and then you'll live your happilly ever after together.

Spoiler alert: nothing went as planned. First, the letter he wrote asking you to meet him in the back of the school got wet because he accidentally spilt water on it. So, he had to make a half-assed substitute letter to put in your desk.

Second, he forgot soccer leaves people all stinky. So, at the end of practice, he had to choose between taking a shower and showing up all drenched and late and showing up sweaty and smelly. He choose the former, after all, showing up late but presentable is better than showing up early but looking like you got shit on by a racoon.

Third, when he finally got there (you were almost leaving, thank God he caught you just in time!) and apologized for being late, he gave you the flowers. He thought nothing else could go wrong, but things can always get worse than they already are. But I don't blame him for not knowing that things could, in fact, get worse: how was he supposed to guess there were literally bees in the flowers? To get rid of them, he tried to shook the bouquet, but accidentally ended up throwing it at your face. With bees and all.

You screamed. He screamed. He grabbed the bouquet and shoved it away, looking at the ground and wishing it'd just swallow him whole. He messed up his chance, you'd never ever even look at his way again. You hated him, absolutely hated him. You wish he was dead, you were going to change schools just to never see him again, he's the worse person ever-

Huh? What is that sound? You're laughing...? You're seriously laughing?

You laughed. He got confused.

He looked up. You were throwing your head back while wiping away the tears that got out of your eyes. You were clutching your stomach because you were laughing so hard it was starting to hurt.

You laughed. He laughed.

You both looked like maniacs. Lunatics. Laughing alone in the middle of nowhere. You looked crazy he WAS crazy. Crazy for you. Not that you knew it at that time

He then decided to just shoot his shot and finally asked you out, without flowers or memorized speech. He didn't even think you'd accept, he just thought it wouldn't hurt to try.

Imagine his face when you said yes. Even with the shitty proposal and embarassing moments, you said yes. And he was absolutely delighted. You gave him your number so he could text you the details about the date, and he was seriously shaking. I'm being for real, his pupils were blown wide and he was almost crying from happiness.

He went home jumping and skipping from happiness. Now, he wasn't just a loser. He was a loser with a date, so that makes him less loserly (at least that's what he thinks).

You accepting his proposal didn't make him talk less about you. Actually, he was now talking about you more than before, if it's even possible. Hiori felt like killing himself (he was happy for his friend, of course, he just didn't want to admit it).

Masterlist

[bearw-me]

Greetings, I'd love to see some Verosika x male reader headcannons, with them wanting a serious relationship with her and actually caring about her, seeing how she reacts. Bonus idea if she gets a little bit possessive.

Hello! I would like to see that too! lol + spoiler alert: verosika is always possessive of her boyfriend

𝐘𝐨𝐮'𝐫𝐞 𝐒𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐨𝐮𝐬?

𐐒 includes : verosika mayday x male!reader 𐐒 cw : swearing, fluff, possessiveness, slight angst 𐐒 summary : general hcs + verosika in a serious relationship 𐐒 note : new love interest unlocked guys

you want a serious relationship with her, and she doesn't take you seriously at first (its all fun and games until you fall in love right?)

in the beginning, i don't think she'd trust you entirely (past relationships have made her doubt new ones) maybe look through your phone or worry constantly about what you say to her

she flirts with you like everyone else, and when you start to show genuine interest in her she's surprised (and quiet literally blushing)

verosika is prone to be very dismissive and even a little distant

like when you try to hold her hand or wrap your arm around her she feels uncertain about it or pulls away completely

it doesn't happen often though, just when the doubt starts to get to her and she needs a drink to cool down

maybe you'd just want her for the usual things: her fame, fortune, looks. . .

definitely needs a little reassurance (when you give it to her she just pouts, pretending like its stupid, or your stupid)

yes, she's defensive but also: a bad bitch, she'd try not to let you see her think otherwise

verosika's weakness is definitely words of affirmation

in a serious relationship verosika is all over you all the time (she's a succubus; she loves touching you)

sitting on your lap, draping her arms around your shoulders or being wrapped up underneath your arm. Hell, even when she 'lets go of you' to talk shit to someone she'll still have her tail wrapped around your ankle

likes biting you/giving you hickeys when she's jealous (everyone has to know your HER boyfriend)

or even leaving obvious lipstick stains on your jaw

ughhh and if your really committed to her, she's committed to you

calls you babe or baby in the most seductive voice she can muster (especially when she wants something from you in particular)

be ready to be spoiled fucking rotten with gifts and unnecessary shit (verosika loves buying you stuff, especially if it looks fucking good on you, like gold. . . or a 'stupid' phone case)

the kind of girl to get a tattoo for you

really super proud of her boyfriend + she likes to flaunt you shamelessly (especially to other 'bitches' who think they can have you instead)

she's so in love with you; and can you imagine the weight of that statement considering she's a succubus with a broken heart

she still pretends like you'll leave in a heartbeat- she's still a little defensive and prepares her heart for it- but every time you prove her wrong, she can let herself be more comfortable with you

'lovebombs' do something to her physically and she can't stand it

but also: do it again

can i just say thank you for requesting this! it was so much fun to write!

[flippinpancakes64]

Would you write about the Cullen's and their first date with the reader

First date with the Cullens

Thank you for requesting and I hope you enjoy!

Edward:

He pulls all the stops for your first date

He goes the very traditional route

He makes reservations at a really fancy restaurant, takes you to the museum, and then takes you home

He’s a bit nervous tbh

Even though he’s known you for months, he still wants to make a good “first” impression

After the date he takes you back to the Cullen house to meet all of his family for the first time

He tells them to behave beforehand

Mostly Rosalie and Jasper but still

Alice:

She just showed up at your house one day and told you to get in the car

She took you to a pottery studio ❤️

She made a mug and on the inside it said “date me?”

So that was your first date

You didn’t even know it was a date

After that she took you to a flower garden

She made you a bouquet that was literally bigger than your head

She’s not nervous

She knows you’ll love it

Jasper:

Ok so if we’re talking about people who would be nervous

This man’s shaking

He doesn’t let it show though

He shows up at your door to pick you up in a suit and tie holding a bouquet

He takes you on a boat ride on one of Carlisle's little yachts

You both admire the view of the city skyline at night

He brings you food that Esme cooked

Give him a little kiss and see what happens ;)

Spoiler alert he jumps into the water

He needs to calm down after that lol

Rosalie:

It's Kate and Garrett's wedding yay

And this girl you've been like sort of really interested in just asked you to be her plus one

AKA Rosalie

So for your first date with the pretty vampire lady from school you get to fly to Canada to attend a big fancy wedding of even more pretty vampires

yippee

I just want to really stress how quick this is

Like bringing some guy you just met to the family reunion vibes

But anyway

Your first date is spent dancing the night away and chatting it up with all of the vampires there

The Denalis were nice enough to doordash you something

Very stressful first date

But hey at least you'll never forget it

Emmett:

He would try to be so sneaky

Like you would have been talking for a couple of months

And then one day he's like

"Omg you're not gonna believe this but I was walking around town yesterday and someone dropped these tickets! They're for your favorite artist and there's two of them! Would you want to go with me?"

Like you're not sly, sir

But you say yes of course

He picks you up and takes you and you guys have a great time

At the end of the night on the drive back home he makes a guilty confession that he lied and that he actually bought the tickets

You just laugh

Esme:

I feel like she would ask you out to do something disguised as just asking you but really it's a date

She asked you to go do something with her

But it turned out actually being a date

She takes you to the movies and to a big craft fair

She buys you anything you want

Will not kiss you on the first date btw

Sorry that's like a fifth date thing

Carlisle:

I think he wants to do something fun

Like rent out a trampoline park or do one of those flying simulators

Or even an arcade

Like something super fun

But I think he'd choose the trampoline park

And then pay the employees extra to leave the building completely so it's just you two

He gets the zoomies like crazy

He's so fast

And the trampolines make him even faster

And it's so fun when he runs with you

Vampire! Bella:

I think she'd try too hard

She would talk about how nervous she was to Alice and she would take over

Thus leading to a very nice candlelit dinner at the Cullen house

That Bella absolutely hates

She feels stuffy in her dress and she's not having fun

It feels too formal

So like a week later she asks for another first date to try again

This time she does what she wants

She takes you down to the beach to watch the waves and just chat

She packs some food for you and you guys just talk for hours

She thinks she did a better job the second time :)

[justauthoring]

BLUE LOCK - is he a good boyfriend?

the answer is yes, obviously.

includes: bachira meguru, nagi seishiro, isagi yoichi, mikage reo all fem!reader

warnings: just bllk boys being the absolute best boys.

boyfriend!bachira who constantly makes you laugh - he’s always making funny faces at you, or telling you some stupid joke he read on twitter. no matter how dumb they are, it always manages to make you smile and that cute little giggle of yours to slip out and thus, bachira continues to do it.

boyfriend!bachira whose incredibly clingy. he always wants to be holding your hand, or is draped off of you. he likes having you close and he likes the warmth of you next to him. it makes him feel calm knowing you're there - feeling you're there - and that you're not going anywhere either. (it's also a plus that it usually wards off any potential flirts).

boyfriend!bachira who gets a little insecure sometimes. it throws you off the first time it ever happens. bachira's always confident, a beaming presence no matter where he is and seeing him quiet and shy is something that you definitely didn't expect. when you learn why, it feels like your heart'll break. almost instantly you're at his side reassuring him of every one of his silly words.

boyfriend!bachira who constantly making little gifts for you out of whatever scrap of something he can find. most of the time, his gifts look a little wonky, a little child-like, but it came from him all the same and you know he poured his heart into it so you don't really care if it's not the prettiest looking gift.

boyfriend!bachira whose so excited the first time you meet his mom. he'd known from the first moment he'd met you you were the one, but he'd waited as long as he possibly could before asking you to make that step. you were more than willing, if not a little nervous. you knew how close bachira and his mom were and you wanted to impress her so bad you practically made yourself sick the day of. (spoiler alert, she loved you.)

boyfriend!bachira who can literally never shut about you. it doesn't matter whether you're there or not - though it's usually worse when you're not because he misses you. he's constantly talking about you; "oh, yeah, y/n loves that show" or "y/n looked so pretty this morning when she woke up". honestly, his friends want to kill him but he's so happy they usually just let him.

-

boyfriend!nagi who basically asks you out through reo. it was a mixture of both being too lazy and too shy (really though, he was just too shy) and it takes a lot of work from reo for the two of you to finally go on a date but it works out perfectly because the second he drops you off that night, you already want to go on another.

boyfriend!nagi who likes when you sit with him while he games. you don't always have to be talking, though he'll gladly let you chat his ear off, mostly listening but sometimes zoning out as you happily chat away about your day. sometimes it's just quiet, both in your own worlds but comforted by each others company. and sometimes you'll even play with him if nagi begs enough.

boyfriend!nagi whose the best damn cuddler. he's a huge man child that practically sinks into any couch or bed he can find, too lazy to even stand half the time. but he never hesitates to pull you into his lap, letting your head rest on his chest while the both of you bask in each others warmth. you fall asleep most nights like that, his arm securely wrapped around your waist while you lazily run your fingers through his hair.

boyfriend!nagi who prefers to stay home, order in and watch movies all night then go out to some fancy dinner. but he makes it the best date nonetheless, never failing to make you feel utterly beautiful and loved. some stupid movie playing in the background that's dumb enough to make the both of you cackle, while you eat greasy junk food, bundled up in pillows and blankets -- and you wouldn't have it any other way.

boyfriend!nagi whose constantly lending you his hoodies and shirts simply because he likes seeing you wear them. he's not an easily jealous man by nature, but there's something about the sight of seeing you in his clothing, telling everyone who you're with without him having to do a damn thing that just makes him so happy.

boyfriend!nagi who becomes ten times more motivated when he knows you're in the stands watching him. he can hear you screaming his name even from the field, voice probably going raw but you never falter, and it flutters his heart in a way he's never felt. he scores double as much as he usually does when you're there.

-

boyfriend!isagi whose incredibly shy and awkward when you first start dating. he's not very good with people, girls even more so, and he's constantly blown away by how pretty you are that the first few weeks of your relationship is spent with his cheeks constantly flushed and his words stammering. he looks incredibly cute though, so you don't mind all that much.

boyfriend!isagi whose insanely chivalrous. he'll make sure he's always opening doors for you, pulling chairs out for you to sit in, he tucks you on the other side of him when walking down the street. it's small, subtle things that hardly anyone would notice, but it makes your heart aflutter all the same.

boyfriend!isagi who loves soccer more than anything but always makes sure to make time for you. he's got a busy schedule and it requires him to be away from home a lot, but he's always willing to facetime, even after a long day of practice when his body screams at him for sleep. and when he is home, his free time is always, without a doubt, devoted to you.

boyfriend!isagi who can barely form coherent sentences when he sees you in his jersey for the first time. he feels as if he could combust on the spot at the sight of you in the stands, proudly supporting him with his name and number on your back. it lets everyone know who you're there for and isagi feels immense pride at the thought.

boyfriend!isagi who buys you a necklace a year into dating you. a small little 'Y' pendant with the date you guys met engraved on the back. its such a small gift, but incredibly thoughtful and you refuse to take it off the second you receive it. every time isagi catches a glance at the silver, he blushes.

boyfriend!isagi who is an amazing kisser once he gets past his nerves - his lips are just so soft and plump and he knows exactly where to kiss that it never fails to send a shiver down the back of your spine. whether it's on the lips or on the curve of your jaw, the feeling is something you'll never be able to get over.

-

boyfriend!reo who spoils you any opportunity he possibly can. he has more money then he knows what to do with, so he simply spends it all on you. anything you want, he'll get it for you simply because he thinks you deserve it and he wants to spoil you.

boyfriend!reo who never flaunts his money in your face though. he never uses it against you or makes you feel like you're any less for not having the kind of money does. he's kind and generous with his money, more than his parents ever had been and he uses it to help whenever he can. you never have to worry, but he also knows when not to spend it. overall, he's incredibly understanding and always seems to know what's meaningful and what isn't.

boyfriend!reo who loves to take you out on the most luxurious dates. at first he did it to impress you and then was worried he maybe seemed like he was showing off. but the bright beaming smile on your lips when you got to dress up all pretty was enough for him. none of it mattered other than just being able to dress up for him in your eyes, and that's enough for reo. he loves when you feel beautiful.

boyfriend!reo whose really good with his hands. whether sexually or not, he just... always knows where to put them. his touch sends shivers down your spine and always causes a flush to run hot through your body. a simple touch to the small of your back, or his arm hooked around your waist, tight and reassuring. it's something so small, but it makes you swoon every time.

boyfriend!reo who loves calling you by 'love' or 'darling'. it could be for the most mundane things; "did you have a good day, love?" or "have you eaten yet, darling?" and yet, it sends you into a puddle of goo every damn time. the way the pet names leave his lips is so incredibly intoxicating.

boyfriend!reo who supports you undeniably with whatever you want to do. you support him in his dream one hundred percent so he wants to make sure he gives you that same sort of passion and support back. he's always willing to let you do whatever you need to succeed and never makes you feel bad for it either way.

[writingquestionsanswered]

I’m currently trying to write/outline a romance novel. It is starkly different from 3 act structures, what plot outlines/structures would you recommend for romance? Do they usually have 2-3 conflicts? For characters, especially for a normal romance, what are the goals usually, isn’t it just to find love or is that too 2d/flat? I can’t find any external/internal conflicts online, some external ones are available, but yeah, mostly unavailable. What are a few examples and what do external/internal conflicts mean in silly romance novels that are not so deep and intense as general fiction? Stuff on this topic are very scarce, sadly. I’d love ur perspective on this! Thank you in advance, love!!

Outlining a Romance Novel

Romance novel structure depends on the type of romance you want to write. Straight up romance revolves around two people meeting and falling in love. There is usually an external conflict against which this romance plays out, which provides the necessary tension, conflict of interest, fodder for misunderstanding, and other obstacles and challenges that create a bumpy road on the way to true love. However, this external conflict is in full service of the developing romance.

A great example of this type of romance would be the romance movies you see on Hallmark and Lifetime. Here's a trailer for a random one, but fair warning that this trailer gives everything away, so "spoiler alert" if that matters to you...)

In Bottled with Love, Abbey and Nick meet when they're forced to work together on a project at the company he works for (where he's the CEO's wayward son.) The project (and their subsequent butting of heads) is the external conflict against which their romance plays out, but the focus is on the development of their relationship, not on the actual project. This story also has the added internal conflict for both characters, which is the "pen pal" relationships they both have going on secretly in the background, which adds additional conflict later on. Lately, romances that play out against genre conflicts are also popular. Like traditional romance, the romantic couple is still central to the story, but unlike traditional romance, the external conflict is given a lot more weight. And, there are usually internal conflicts for the main characters as well. A great example of this kind of romance is Outlander. I'm sticking in the season one trailer, but fair warning... there are glimpses of scenes with violence, nudity, sex, and SA:

In the case of Outlander, Claire and Jamie meet when she is transported back in time from her home era of 1945 to the past era of 1743. In addition to the external conflict of Claire wanting to get back home to her own time, there's also an English officer (who turns out to be an ancestor of the husband she left in 1945) who is determined to make her life difficult. And, the first few books also play out first against the conflict between Scottish highlanders and the British occupiers. And, you can also have a combination of the two, where it's still a straight up romance, but it plays out against a genre background. In this case, the genre-related external conflict is still minor compared to the development of the romantic couple:

In the case of the first and third example, there are very specific romance beats you'll want to hit. A really popular structure template is Gwen Hayes' Romancing the Beat. The Dabble web site and the DIY MFA web site also both have romance structure templates, and there are certainly others you can find via a general search for romance story structure. In the case of the second example, you will want to hit a lot of those beats, but you'll be weaving that into a story structure for stories with a plot-driven element (like Save the Cat! Writes a Novel or the Three-Act Structure.) Just remember, in all of these cases, you don't have to follow a template to a tee. They're just there as guidelines to help you navigate and plot your story. With romance, though, you do want to make sure you hit the important romantic beats.

As for some of your other questions:

Do they usually have 2-3 conflicts? Most romances have both internal and external conflict. Then, there may be multiple external conflicts if you do a story like Outlander which plays out against a genre-based backdrop and has an external conflict related to that genre.

For characters, especially for a normal romance, what are the goals usually, isn’t it just to find love or is that too 2d/flat? Romance beat sheets will clarify this for you, but yes, if you do a traditional romance, a "happily ever after" is the goal.

What are a few examples and what do external/internal conflicts mean in silly romance novels that are not so deep and intense as general fiction? Examples #1 and #3 provide an idea of what the external and internal conflicts can look like in traditional, straight up romance. External conflict in romance usually happens one of two ways: the protagonist leaves their "normal life" and ends up in a place where they meet the love interest. Or, the love interest gets dropped into their "normal life." Some examples:

-- protagonist leaves their big city job to visit their small hometown for Christmas

-- protagonist leaves their small hometown to attend a friend's destination wedding in Rome

-- protagonist leaves their stressful office job and takes a job a bakery that desperately needs a manager

-- love interest is the new partner on the protagonist's work project

-- love interest is the popular new photographer showing up at the weddings the protagonist plans/coordinates

-- love interest is the new supplier for the bakery the protagonist manages

As for internal conflict, it works the same as in other stories. The internal conflict is usually something that is keeping them from moving forward in their lives. Sometimes, whatever it is that brings the love interest into their lives is a result of them trying to break out of that rut. Or, it could be that however their life changes as a result of meeting the love interest is the thing that helps them get out of that rut.

I hope that gives you some direction for how to come up with conflict ideas and how to structure your story!

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

I’ve been writing seriously for over 30 years and love to share what I’ve learned. Have a writing question? My inbox is always open!

♦ Questions that violate my ask policies will be deleted! ♦ Please see my master list of top posts before asking ♦ Learn more about WQA here

[a-world-with0ut-dr34ms]

Ghost x Dom!Reader x Soap (Sneak Peek)

Ghost and Soap find themselves crushing on the same woman on their team, a friendly bout between two comrades to see who you'll choose, only your answer's not one they'd expected to hear.

Tags: Future NSFW 18+/Shameless Smut/PwP/MMF/some Ghostsoap, Anon Request •ᴗ• (Full tags will be used in main post), Jealousy, Banter, Flirting, Bickering, Sexual Tension, Soap and Ghost are fighting over the same girl, but it's a friendly competition, ends in a three-way too so, spoiler alert, Scarcely proofread

Masterlist

Ghost leans forward now, resting his arms on his knees and furrowing his brow. "A'right, out with it," he says. "What's your game 'ere?"

Soap's brow furrows rather facetiously. '"I'm sorry, sir?"

"Don’t play dumb Johnny." The playful tone Ghost once used before has now since cooled, growing darker. "You know wha' I'm askin'."

Soap merely smirks, resting his arm back against the couch. "The same game you're playing, yeah?"

"And what game is that, Johnny?"

Soap can't help but laugh now, growing more and more cocky with each loaded exchange. On a normal day, Ghost might manage to intimidate the Sergeant every so often with his sheer presence, let alone his words. However, when it comes to women, Soap couldn't feel more in his element, especially up against his superior.

"One I'll beat you in."

Now it's Ghost's turn to have a laugh. A subtle thing, trapped beneath the burliness of his chest, though its deep rumble is audible enough, having warmed the Scotsman's cheeks at the sound.

"I doubt that," Ghost says.

"You underestimate my charm L.T." Soap puckers his lips and kisses the air between the two men mockingly. As much as Ghost tried to hide it, the sight had made the air catch in his throat for a second. It's that usual, competitive nature about the Sergeant that really gets Ghost's blood pumping during these mutual bouts of bickering.

"My last statement still stands," Ghost chuckles. "So what? You thought I'd leave and you two would just go at it then?"

"I wouldn't say it like that," Soap says. "...But I was hoping to have some alone time with her, yes."

"And you figured on waitin' for the rest of us to vacate before making a move..." Ghost shrugs with affirmation. "...Clever man."

"Yeah, well, what about you?" Soap asks. "Clearly we're both still here for the same reason. What's your "game", L.T.?"

"It's not your concern."

Soap groans, sinking back in his seat, though he hadn't been surprised by the lieutenant's response. "Suppose it isn't, then," he says. "It's hers."

"That's right," Ghost agrees. "We can't both have her."

"Can't we?"

Ghost brings his eyes forward to Soap's, having thought his comment had been a mere joke. However, once their gazes matched, Ghost could see that his Sergeant was dead serious.

Personally, Soap's never been opposed to the idea of a threesome. He'd even be lying if he said he hadn't fantasized about it from time to time, as boyish as it sounds. Adding Ghost into that equation hadn't tripped him up much either; Lord knows the lieutenant would be next on Soap's list if you weren't at the top of it first.

Still, Ghost had a hard time even picturing a scenario where something like that could happen, let alone with all three of you. No doubt the man had been interested in you, and for a while, he'd even felt something for Soap as well, feelings that haven't necessarily gone away.

Something with all three of you would no doubt be perfect, however, it just seemed...

"Let's be real here, Johnny." Ghost leaves it at that.

"Suit yourself," Soap merely shrugs, before a light bulb moment suddenly lets off in his eyes. "How about we bring this to the source then? Hey Y/N!"

"Soap-"

"Oi, calm down, mate," he smiles at him. "No point in beatin' 'round the bush, aye?"

You round the corner finally, having heard their voices vaguely through your door this entire time, but not being able to put full words together. From the "uh-oh" look you had on your face, however, something told the two men you were already preparing for them to say something crazy.

"What's up?"

Soap gives Ghost a final look, waiting to see if the man will protest. However, when he sees that he doesn't speak, Soap grins, turning back to you.

"If you had to pick between Ghost and I, who're you choosin'?"

"Pick for what?" you ask, certainly needing clarification. "For battle?"

Soap bursts out laughing, just now feeling how awkward it was going to be explaining this to you. "No," he says. "Like if you had to pick one of us to... I don't know, go out on a date with, who would you pick?"

You keep smiling at Soap like he's joking, but once you see he hasn't budged, you feel your heart begin to race.

Your eyes grow wide, now suddenly embarrassed to have the spotlight on you. "You're seriously asking?"

Soap nods. "I am."

You look over at Ghost now. Surely this was just another one of Soap's antics. "You too?"

Ghost shrugs. "I'd be lying if I said I wasn't curious."

You were hoping he wouldn't say that. But, if they were asking, then may God be your witness as you answer them.

Placing a hand to your chin, you pout to yourself and look back and forth between your teammates, sizing both men up for every physical feature they had to offer.

Your mind immediately goes to the gutter, not being able to help it. You've found them both distractingly good-looking ever since you joined the team, and you've more than thought about this before. Just never in comparison. Or out loud.

Soap looks like he'd be fun to play with -- he's eager, energetic, and even better, open-minded. Not to mention he was cocky too; you always liked a man who could talk his shit and back it up. With those big arms of his, he could just box you in against the bed and pin you down good and firm, as he drills into you, cooing that sweet little accent of his in your ear like he would. It made your body tingle just thinking about it.

And then there was Ghost; if there was any voice you wouldn't mind having growled in your ear while being fucked senseless, it was his. Unlike Soap, you just knew you wouldn't get it rough like you would from Ghost. You've lost count of how many times you've caught yourself gawking at him during sparring sessions or while out in the field, watching that bulking mass of muscle of his he called a body, manhandle any and everything in his way. Having him do the same to you in a more intimate sense never failed to make the lower parts of yourself start to throb at the thought.

After giving both men a good, long look, you sigh, letting your arms fall back to your sides.

"I can't choose."

"Ah, don't be shy now, lass," Soap says. "If you're worried about hurtin' our feelings-"

"No it's not that," you cut in. "It's just not an easy choice, you know?"

Simon raises an eyebrow now. "Oh?"

"Oh, don't act all surprised, Ghost."

"You like us both then?" Soap asks cautiously.

"I'd say so." You begin to smirk. "Why? What's going on here?"

The two give each other a look, before Simon goes to explain things to you.

"We're just trying to figure out which one of us has a shot."

"Figures you should be the deciding vote, seeing as you're the subject of interest, lass."

You imagine you look pretty stupid standing at the center of your living room all wide-eyed like you do, but frankly, this just feels too good to be true. It hadn't been one of them that was supposedly into you, but both of them. If you could do a backflip, you'd do twelve right now, no questions asked.

But before you get head over heels about this, "So you're saying you both want me then?"

"In more ways than one, darlin'," Soap teases.

You glance over at Ghost this time, having taken note of his sudden silence. "You too, Simon?"

He hadn't necessarily been prepared to confess his feelings to you, not like this, and much less in front of an opposing audience. Still, Ghost wouldn't have his own Sergeant show him up so easily. Plus, the way your eyes lured at him this whole time had a chill running down his spine, making it hard to concentrate. So he nods, "That's right."

A devilish smile slowly creeps over your lips.

"Well, can't I just have you both?"

Coming soon...(・ω・｀)………..

I'm in the process of typing the smut for this, but here's a preview. Please let me know if this dialogue kind of wreaks; I don't know why, but I'm struggling to like it no matter how much I rewrite it (I keep flipping back and forth between liking it and not liking it). But enough of that. I'll link the full part here once it's complete! (ʃᵕ̩̩ ᵕ̩̩)

[nicoline1998enilocin]

''Yer a wizard, Bucky!''

PAIRING | Bucky Barnes x Female!Reader

WORD COUNT | 1.9K

SUMMARY | You've been a fan of the Harry Potter franchise for as long as you can remember, and you're finally introducing Bucky to the Wizarding World you grew up with. Little did you know he would quickly become just as obsessed with it as you had been all these years.

WARNING(S) | Small spoiler-alert for the Harry Potter franchise. No major events mentioned, but there are some plot points discussed.

A/N | Hi all, this is my first one-shot for Bucky, so I thought it would be nothing short of fitting that I'd make it a Harry Potter themed one, especially since I'm a huge Potterhead myself. In this story I will write Bucky as a Hufflepuff because 1) I am a proud member of the Hufflepuff house and 2) I feel like that's where he would fit the most, but I respect other opinions too if you think another house would be more fitting ;) Enjoy!

Likes and reblogs will be very much appreciated 💜

Main Masterlist | Bucky Barnes Masterlist

You have been a fan of Harry Potter and everything to do with the Wizarding World for as long as you can remember, so it would be only a matter of time before your super soldier boyfriend would be subjected to your passion too. He read the Hobbit when it first came out, so it isn't a reach to assume he would be into this as well, and boy, did he get into it!

It all started simple enough, by suggesting you'd watch the movies together on your weekly movie night as a couple. ''C'mon, I think you would absolutely love these movies. I know you already likes fantasy stories, so you'll enjoy this too!'' you said when you put on Harry Potter and the Philisopher's Stone. Even though this is not your favorite, you can still quote the entire movie line by line much to the joy of Bucky.

The two of you settle into the couch together with your most comfy clothing, a blanket, steaming cups of hot chocolate with marshmallows, and your favorite snacks. Bucky knows you're a big fan, and absolutely supports you a hundred percent in your obession, but he did get curious what it was all about. All he knew is that it was about wizards and stuff like that, but that was really the extent of it.

''Are you ready to get your mind blown by the most amazing movie franchise ever?!'' you asked him excited and you couldn't wait to start the first movie. As soon as you started the movie, your eyes were glued to the screen and Bucky couldn't help but steal little glances every now and again to see your trance like state, forgetting all and everything around you, silently mumbling the lines along with the characters.

When you reached the part where Hagrid comes to pick up Harry on his birthday, you say ''Yer a wizard, Bucky!'' and get into a huge fit of laughter together, and the movie almost seems forgotten, until the point of the sorting ceremony, and you direct his interest to the screen again. ''Oh oh, this is one of my favorite parts!'' you say when Professor McGonagall starts her speech before the sorting ceremony and your eyes are fixated on the screen once again.

When the movie is over, you look at Bucky expectingly and you are really curious what he thought of it so far. ''So...? What did you think?'' you said and you threw the blanket off the both of you, straddling his lap so you can look him directly into his eyes. ''It was amazing right? Please tell me you love it?!'' you said with the excitement of a little kid, which made Bucky smirk before giving you a loving kiss on the lips. ''Allright, you want to know what I think? I think it's...'' he starts teasingly, but doesn't finish because he wants to give you more kisses.

You pull away after a few more kisses, and get impatient, really wanting to know what he thinks. ''Bucky, stop with the teasing and tell me already!'' you say with a bit of annoyance laced into your tone. ''Okay, okay!'' he said laughing, ''I did enjoy the movie, but I can't say for sure what I think when I haven't read the books yet. I feel like there was a lot of information missing, and I really want to know more.'' and before he could finish his sentence you were halfway on the way to your bedroom to get your copy of the book.

''Here you go, now you can read it!'' you say with a big smile and you hand him the book. ''But you better be careful with it, it is my only copy.'' you say with a serious face. You give Bucky another kiss and decide to get ready for bed, since you have gotten pretty tired after a long day of work and the movie night. ''Are you coming to bed with me, or are you gonna read?'' you ask, already knowing the answer. ''I'll join you for some reading in bed, how does that sound doll?'' ''Perfect.''

After a few weeks he has absolutely devoured the books, and the movies were even better now that he knew more of the background story. He still had a lot of questions, but you didn't mind answering them, you could talk about it all the time of you got the chance. ''So, after the last movie, I think it would be fun for you to take the sorting quiz as well, see in which house you would belong if you were a part of the Wizarding World. I personally think you would be either a Hufflepuff or a Gryffindor.'' you said, secretly hoping he would be a Hufflepuff too, just like yourself.

''Doll? Are you ready to help me with this quiz?'' he asked when he grabbed his laptop. He knew how it worked ofcourse, but he didn't know the last thing about the sorting quiz, so he asked you to help. ''I will be in a minute, hold on!'' you yell from the bathroom, where you decided to put on some Hufflepuff colored lingerie to make the evening more interesting. When you walked out, Buckys jaw went slack as he eyed you up and down, and the quiz was already forgotten by him. ''Doll, you look absolutely gorgeous...'' he said, not knowing where to look because he wanted to see it all.

''You can enjoy all this later, first you have to do the quiz like you promised. This is just a little taste of your reward for when you pass.'' you said teasing with a wink. ''Oh, I am sure I will get more than just a taste later, doll.'' Bucky teased back, earning him a little smack on his chest. ''Quiz, now!'' you said and you pulled up the website for him. After going through it, he was nervous to find out the result. ''I'm kind of nervous to find out the result, what if I get sorted into Slytherin?!'' he asked. ''Well, it's a good thing I really adore your bad side, love.'' you said teasing again.

After a few minutes of making out with each other, you got up for air and he decided to push the button, so he can find out what house he belongs in, and as soon as it shows, he lets out a sigh of relief. ''Thank god I'm not in Slytherin!'' he said, excited to find out he was sorted into Hufflepuff, just like you. ''Well, how appropriate? I think it is time for your reward now!'' you said and softly place a kiss on Bucky's lips, who wasted no time deepening it, before lifting you up and carrying you to the bedroom.

By the time Halloween rolled around, the two of you finished the entire movie series, and both read the entire book series from beginning to end. Tony threw one of his famous Halloween parties, which was the ideal moment to figure out what couples costume to wear. You wore a couples costume each year, but seeing how you had Bucky obsessing over Harry Potter, he offered to go as Hufflepuff students, since that's what you both got sorted into. ''Wow, and here I thought I couldn't love you anymore than I already do, you found a way to make it possible...'' you said to Bucky, who pulled you closer by your waist to seal your confession with a kiss.

You have both found the perfect Hufflepuff costume with matching cloaks, ties, school outfits and your own wands. You both really looked like you could fit right into the Wizarding World, aside from the age thing ofcourse, but that didn't matter. The two of you walked into Tony's party hand in hand and everyone looked at the two of you and giving you endless compliments about how this was your best couples costume to date, and that was saying a lot since you had been together for close to a decade now. ''Hell, I wished you had introduced me to this much earlier doll, this is great for my ego!'' Bucky joked and he winked at you before getting the two of you a drink.

Bucky decided to surprise you by not celebrating Christmas at the Avengers Compound this year like you always did, but by going to Universal Studios in Orlando, Florida. It would be a special trip for the both of you, but Bucky didn't tell you the entire suprise he had planned, even though the ring box in his pocket nearly burned a hole through his pants. He had been planning on proposing for a while now, but it felt like it was never the right time, and neither of you were particularly in a hurry to get married, you were committed to each other without having to sign a piece of paper first. However, Bucky finally found the perfect moment to get down on one knee, and ask you to be his wife.

You both decided to wear your Hufflepuff outfits to the Wizarding World in Universal Studios, seeing how it would just be so fitting. You spent all day walking through Diagon Alley, going on the rides, drinking Butterbeer and just enjoying being dunked into the Wizarding World, and neither of you wanted this day to end. When it was time to go see Hogwarts castle, Bucky seemed to get a bit nervous, and started fidgeting with the ring box in his pocket. ''Love, are you okay? You seem a bit off?'' you asked him, worrying you did something wrong. ''I'm okay doll, don't worry about me.'' he said, and you both continued walking towards the castle.

You took some photos of the castle, as well as some selfies together, and when you were looking at the castle and admiring it in all it's beauty, you didn't notice Bucky getting down on one knee besides you. ''Doll?'' he started, and you looked over, just to see him not standing beside you anymore. You looked down and there you saw him, the love of your life on one knee, ready to propose to you. ''Bucky..'' is all you managed to get out before tears started to stream down your face.

''Doll, for the last 8 years, you have made me the happiest man on earth, giving me a love I never thought I would ever find. Hell, a love I didn't even think I'd deserve after everything I have done. But you were there by my side through all the good times and all the bad times, you have made me feel complete again. I realized I never want to spend another day apart from you, and I will repay you everyday for the love you have given me, by given you that same love back. Will you marry me, and make me the luckiest Hufflepuff on this planet?'' he said.

''Yes, Bucky, ofcourse I will marry you!'' is all you said before he stood up and lifted you off the ground, you wrapped your legs around him. You crashed your lips onto his in a kiss filled with love and a promise of everything that is yet to come, and it takes a while before the two of you notice people clapping around you. ''Congratulations to the happy couple!'' someone says, and Bucky puts you down to put the ring on your finger. ''I love you, my gorgeous wizard.'' ''I love you too, my beautiful witch.''

[libraford]

Your roommate was really an abusive, narcissistic, gaslighting piece of shit huh? Every story you tell just reeks of parallels to people who have escaped abusive relationships and it makes me very glad for you that the bitch is gone

It's a little hard to say how I feel because every person that I've had a falling out with I've gotten to be friends with again once we got out of the cohabitation situation.

But the thing is that I was never really... friends with her? Pock was friends with A through a discord server and we met twice before deciding that we both needed more space. And I like... knew that we were going to butt heads. Because she said she was 'tidy' and I expressed that I typically piss off roommates that are 'tidy' because I run a crafting business and it takes up a lot of space and sometimes I leave in the middle of a project because I didn't plan my time well.

And she was like 'well maybe you'll learn how to clean by living with me.'

And I was like 'and maybe you'll learn to loosen up.'

And she didn't like that and I knew it was gonna be a problem.

Spoiler alert: she never learned to loosen up.

So you can see how I might be the house heel at this point, right? I'm not anyone's direct friend, I leave messes sometimes, and I already told her to back off before we started.

And like... I started thinking about cycles of abuse really early on in the relationship because we met her mother on two separate occasions and hooooo boy you can see where she gets it. The part of me that was trying to advocate for myself was fighting with the part of me that wants to advocate for others and its really hard to do that when she'd open her mouth and her mom's voice would come out.

Like sometimes she'd say some anti-semitic shit in front of me and then at my stunned silence say something like 'ugh, so glad I can talk to you about this' and the reason she can't talk about it with anyone else is because her partner... is Jewish. Like umm... no? You can't talk to me about this? What the fuck???? And its like I couldn't go to her partner about it because she'd find out I told her and we'd have another three days where her mood affects the entire house so I just sat on that for like four years and I'd thinking about it every time she was invited to Passover or Hannukah or if there was a thing at the synagogue and she'd refuse to go with her partner even though this was something very important to her-

...sorry, that's not important. I'm still like processing a lot of the shit that came out of her mouth because honestly it was four years of dear gods, what's going to happen next?

Point is.

If we could have left sooner, we probably would. But our lease expired mid-pandemic and we were not about to go looking for a new place, so we stayed.

[lost-inanotherlife]

"I Do" or when Kate and Jack almost got (figuratively) married

I've previously stated that I don't find "I Do" particularly excellent when it comes to Kate's flashback story. I still stand by that. From a creative point of view Kate reiventing herself as Monica and getting married to a police officer doesn't exactly scream "genius". Conversely, the idea for her flashback in "Left Behind" is way more compelling and allows us to see sides of Kate that aren't necessarily related to her interior romantic love life (in that episode Kate and Cassidy teams up to "con" Kate's mother in order for Kate to have a moment with her without getting arrested).

Having said that, "I Do" is, overall, a fucking great episode. Everything and I mean EVERYTHING is written and shot to perfection so I thought to write a little meta about it.

Now, before we move on to the analysis, let's please consider that the previous Kate-centric episode is S2E9 "What Kate Did". I wrote an extensive meta about it and you can find it here. For the sake of this meta, though, all you need to know is this: what Kate sees in Sawyer is herself, specifically what she thinks she is in the present moment based on the things she's done in the past, i.e. a "bad" person or a person capable of doing "bad" things; what Kate sees in Jack is her potential self, what she thinks she can become in the present moment and simply be in the future because she intimately thinks she's capable of being "good" and doing "good" things.

In "What Kate Did" she chooses the black horse representing her "dark" self, therefore she chooses Sawyer. In "I Do" she symbolically chooses Sawyer again but things get a litte bit more complicated because this time Jack says his "I do" and Kate finds that she can't quite say "I do" back yet, but she can't say goodbye to her potential either: in other words she can't leave Jack/her potential behind. You'll see what I mean in this meta.

ACT ONE.

The episode opens with the song "Slowly" in the background. We hear the following lyrics:

Tell me you love me again but this time slowly 'Cause you're talkin' too fast, baby, much fast Come on and squeeze me again but this time slowly 'Cause I like your grasp but it's much fast

You said that our love will grow together 'Cause your mine all mine

Foreshadowing: this episode will be about "I love yous" and about something that's growing.

It'll also be about make-believe as we see a 50s-styled Kate opening a box containing a wedding veil. A man knocks on her door and we see the following dialogue:

MAN: Police, open the door. KATE: [Nervously] Um. Everything's alright in here. MAN: Ma'am, we have reason to believe that someone extremely dangerous is in the motel. We're conducting a room-to-room search. KATE: [Starting to smile] I'm alone, officer. MAN: The person could be holding you at gunpoint, forcing you to say that. Please open the door. KATE: I don't think I should. MAN: Then you have three seconds before I break this door down. One... two... [Kate stands by and opens the door right before he says "three", revealing the policeman, Kevin.] KEVIN: Hey. Wanna get it on? dialogue from https://lostpedia.fandom.com

We the audience (who already know about Kate's past) are already tipped off to the fact that this is all fake. Kate is clearly wearing a mask, she's being someone else, someone who perhaps she'd like to be or, at least, she's putting on a new persona-dress to see if it fits. Spoiler alert: it doesn't. However, this is also extraordinarily real because Kate's indeed a fugitive, she might as well be "the dangerous someone in the motel" herself. Ironically, in the scenario where Kate is the dangerous person in the motel, she's also the person who's holding at gunpoint... herself, forcing herself to say stuff. Interesting, right? In other words, the show is telling us to pay close attention because the episode will play with the line between fiction and reality.

In the very second scene there's a defeated Sawyer throwing rocks without purpose. Kate sees something's wrong with him, he's slowly giving up. She tells him to get a fish biscuit for her, implicitly telling him: "Provide for me, be here for me, don't give up". Sawyer's not stupid and immediately retorts with a "Psh. What, you trying to keep me feeling productive?".

In the last scene of Act 1, we're introduced to the final protagonist of this episode, Jack, and we discover what's growing as the song alluded in the very first scene: "JACK: [To Ben] The tumor on your spine is borderline inoperable. And at the rate it's growing, that borderline goes away in about one week".

By the end of Act 1 we have all the info we need to understand this episode: it'll be about love, it's gonna make us believe things that are not true and the thing that's growing on Ben's spine will be the keystone to put all the pieces of the puzzle together.

To be continued!

[neerons]

Hi! I'd like to know your opinion on one of my expectations for Kazuomi's next season. I have a question for you too ☺️

**Spoilers alert : I talk a little about Kei and Yuzu's past stories**

In the near future, Kazuomi will definitely reveal his true self to the MC, but I also want her to have some deductions about the truth he's hiding (his past and his real feelings). The MC has a really good intuition, and she likes to investigate. So I don't want her to only wait for him to share his feelings and do nothing. I want her to show Kazuomi and let him know that he can actually talk to her and be vulnerable around her. Because she will always be by his side and love him no matter what. Kazuomi has always been here when the MC was feeling down and lost. This time, it's Kazuomi who needs help, even though he thinks otherwise.

I want to see more sweet moments between these two lovers. More importantly, I don't want Kazuomi to still feel lonely and to not feel understood. It means the world to him that the MC respects his boundaries and understands him like no one else did. Therefore, I hope the MC won't be too passive in the next stories and that she will try to find the truth by herself, to help and truly understand Kazuomi. You know, similar to Kei and Yuzu's stories. I'm aware that Kazuomi has a different writer, but I want his story to be as well-written as Kei and Yuzu's stories. In fact, Kazuomi is a complex character who needs good development.

When it comes to the past, he is, among the 3S, the one who keeps chasing his past. **Spoilers : We know that Kei unconsciously erased his past in order to protect himself from his trauma. For Yuzu, he chose to abandon his little brother in order to have a better future, and he doesn't regret his choice. However, he feels guilty as he still cares for his brother.**

On the other hand, Kazuomi claims to not care about the past and says that the present is more important to him. We now know it's not the case. He wants to forget his past and so, he tries to be someone who lives in the present, but it's only a mask. Like I said in a previous comment, his past still haunts him today and he can't deny it. (I don't know if you read Jujutsu Kaisen, but Kazuomi's issue with his past kind of reminds me of Gojo Satoru's story)

Furthermore, if we analyse Kazuomi's character, we can see that most of the things he does are related to his past. For example, his dream to open a resort, the meaning of Christmas for him, his love for games and gambling (in addition to the anticipation and the mental thrill of not knowing the outcome because of all the different possibilities), his love for sweets and desserts, his feeling of loneliness and his struggle to really trust others (sometimes he can be emotionally detached), etc. That's why his upcoming stories must be well-written because Kazuomi is the character who needs to confront his past the most. I know you'll post a detailed analysis of the characters from MK, so I can't wait to read it!

Of course, all of the things I've written will happen depending on the plot for his upcoming season. Someone of Kazuomi's past life will most likely appear too (similar to Kei and Yuzu's stories). Who do you think it could be, and why?

I'm sorry I wrote a lot haha. Thanks for reading until the end! ❤️

Heya 🥰

Kazuomi's Cryptic Past

As of now, we can only interpret how things will go since we don't know what happened to him other than his family basically betrayed him. He lost everything. He felt lonely and not loved. He became homeless. He hates his father more than anyone, too, it seems.

I totally agree that Kazuomi needs to rely on others, especially MC, about his past. We should be able to see that soon once his next season is released.

Maybe the MC will have her own deductions from his past and play an active role in discovering it for herself, or maybe she'll actually decide to keep those deductions to herself and let Kazuomi reveal it to her, out of consideration and love for him.

When it comes to Kazuomi, he knows that MC is there for him. He's already aware of that, deep down. As you said, he also appreciates that she doesn't push him for answers and revelations about his past.

In his mind, he already sees her as the woman of his life. The only one who could understand him that well, and not press him for answers. She's irreplaceable to him.

But Kazuomi is also someone who has been betrayed before. Especially by his father, and by women, especially his "mother". The story with his "mother" was vague but it seemed to have had a huge impact on him, and I don't know exactly what she did, but it's clear he was incredibly hurt by this woman. In the end, he didn't feel truly loved by her.

So it makes sense that he might not completely feel ready to be weak in front of someone again, even if it's the love of his life. He doesn't want to be weak in front of her and have her pity him, even if she's not like that.

Due to that, I assume, he often tests MC along his seasons to see how much of him she is willing to accept, and she always accepts him and loves him more, which in turn makes him love her even more, and it shows us how far their love can go (it's infinite, I'm telling you 🥰)

So this next step is, I think, going to be Kazuomi finally revealing his past in his next big MS and see how MC will react to the "real Kazuomi" and if she's still going to love him.

It's possible that the real Kazuomi is, at least according to him, pathetic, naive and weak. Or maybe it's a side of him more cruel than what he has shown her before.

Deep down, I think he's scared of what she'll think of him, and he hopes she'll accept him despite his many flaws. But he's also convinced "forever" doesn't exist, and that even their relationship might be a fleeting one.

He is currently in a philosophical conflict. He wants her by his side, wants her to know everything, but at what cost? Will she eventually leave once she knows? Will Kazuomi risk losing his life in a new gamble, and he'll have to say farewell to her?

I expect the MC to once again show him she loves him just as he is, because he is him, the man she loves, which will probably surprise and touch Kazuomi's heart way more than anyone ever could. And he'll realize and have the confirmation that he doesn't need anything but her.

MC's Personality & Love for Kazuomi

As for her, she is aware that he doesn't want to talk about his past, and she saw it when he became surprisingly silent when he was affected by memories of his past in the R&C event.

Despite her agent side, curiosity and love for investigation, we often overlook that the MC is a woman respectful enough to not poke her nose where she feels it doesn't belong.

She loves Kazuomi so much and is worried about him, rightfully so, but she doesn't want to cross a boundary without permission or consideration. She'd love for him to tell her about it someday, but she's waiting for him to be ready.

Him opening up on his own to her without her asking wouldn't be such a bad thing to me to be honest. I sure hope she plays a role in his story, and she will as always, but I think Kazuomi revealing his past to her would be a great depiction of his trust and love towards her.

Trust me, I love MC being badass and doing her job amazingly well and going beyond expectations. And if she does have a mission or a situation where she has to uncover his past in full detail, I hope it'll be done well too in a beautifully written story again.

The problem is: if she decides to uncover his past herself, how will he take it?

He treats his past like a highly confidential mission. It's possible that, if she gets involved into it too deeply in the end, they'll have to become foes again. And then Kazuomi will ultimately realize he wants her to know and won't stop her from knowing.

Or, if his past becomes dangerous for her, he'll feel guilty because she's now in danger because of him. We can't really know how things will turn out since we have no clues about what even happened to him before.

Possible outcomes in the next season?

I actually can see his next season going two different ways (at least):

She discovers the truth about his past through a mission (and the client could even be the antagonist). She'll have to put her feelings aside and fulfill her mission while having mixed feelings about discovering something he wanted to hide to the world and especially to her. Kazuomi might become distant as he decides to face his past alone and puts himself in danger against the antagonist, which will fuel the MC to save him

Another situation would be him opening up to her once the drama of his past (lui pète à la gueule 🤣) happens and he has to face his past forcefully because the antagonist either shamelessly reveals his past publicly, or in front of MC, or he'd just put Kazu and MC in a situation where they have to talk about it. And then, MC, and maybe even Yuzu, Kei, and others? would decide to help him out against said antagonist

No matter how it goes, I'm sure it'll be well written. I have never been disappointed honestly. I always see the reasoning behind the characters' actions which is probably why I'm never mad or sad about developments?

At least in MK, I've never been bothered by how a season has been written (except the case about the way the Boss' last season was treated, which is more of an exception, since Voltage discontinued him abruptly and left him with plot holes and left me with my HEART BROKEN GAHH)

Kazuomi's manufactured personality

It's funny that you mention Jujutsu Kaisen and especially Gojo Satoru when you talk about Kazuomi, because JJK became one of my favorite animes and mangas, and Gojo has a special place in my heart. I have started reading the manga so nobody spoils me!!

I can see the similarity between Gojo and Kazu. Their bubbly, quirky and charismatic personality hides the scars they try to run away from. It's also a distraction for them (and it helps them distract others from their vulnerability, too)

It makes them overcome their sadness, loneliness and anger as well since putting on a different mask enables you to put distance between your present self and your past self.

Like you said, It's clear that Kazuomi chases his past. He's the one character from MK who's really secretive about what happened to him, even more than Kei who runs away from a past full of trauma, more than Yuzu who fights against his emotions, and more than the Boss who is KNOWN for not being straightforward and having his emotions be "inactive", if that makes sense.

And I'm so curious and also scared to know what he's really like. Because I love the way he is now personality-wise, but I hope I'll love him even more once his mask falls for good. I also hope he'll still be his witty and fun self, but I'm sure his story will be amazing.

Who's the antagonist?

When it comes to who they'll be up against next time, considering the revelations from the Revenge & Challenge event, the only people I assume could make an appearance are Kazuomi's father, or maybe his "mother".

I don't know if they'd be the potential antagonists. It's possible that they were more victims to Kazuomi's father's dangerous relationships and got screwed. But Kazuomi resents his father a lot. I can't know how bad his father is, but he's not the purest person on Earth. It could be him.

In the Japanese app, we're also getting another event about the guys' pasts currently, so it's not unlikely that his parents will be making an appearance if they're still alive.

If it's not the parents, it's likely someone who knows about his parents, and past (and is linked to it) that we don't know about yet. Like Nate from Kei's Eden's Love story, who is an antagonist we couldn't have predicted. It could be one of the guys his father had secret meetings with. They were bad, and probably belonged to a sort of mafia (I forgot and I'm too lazy to check again I'll admit)

Conclusion (...am I writing an essay again? 🤣)

No matter how the season happens, the important thing, to me, is that Kazuomi finally learns to believe in "forever" and stabilizes himself with MC in the end. I hope he'll be able to live freely with her and that he can move on after all these years of suffering.

We should all forget our expectations for his route and just enjoy the ride when the time comes, though. In my humble opinion, we shouldn't wish for too many things, because that'd just make us closer to the end of his route, and it makes room for disappointment if something doesn't happen the way we wanted it to.

We have one of the best titles Voltage has made, and one of the best LIs, the elite among the elites, so let's appreciate the hard work behind it and see what the next season has to offer again. Personally, I know I'll love it 💖

(And thank you for your enthusiasm about the characters' analyses! They'll be separated into different posts for each character, and Yuzu will be the first to be out when the time comes I think. But I'm re reading every MS to do a good job, as well as reading Ikémen Prince and making art most of the time, so it's taking time haha)

Thank you for the ask!

[starseneyes]

Chenford REWIND- Lucy Chen / Tim Bradford - The Rookie - Season 2 Ep 10, 11, & 12

This feels like a lot to put into one Meta. But, since I'm chunking these out and taking requests, it makes sense to me. Yes, "Day of Death" is a defining Chenford episode. But I feel like you need the context of what lead up to it and the fallout on the other side to fully understand its impact and discuss it.

SPOILER ALERT: If you don't want to be spoiled, you don't want to read this. While I do write these as though I'm watching the episodes for the first time and try not to let fore-knowledge come into play, I will be spoiling these episodes in their entirety and everything that came before.

All squared away? Alright, lets dive in.

The Dark Side

"The single men in LA suck. Every time I go out on a date, and they find out that I'm a cop, they just get scared off." ... "Look, those aren't men. Those are boys, okay? Real men are not afraid of strong women."

Heck, yeah, they aren't! Lucy, honey, I get that it's tough out there for you, right now. But someday there will be a single man in LA who doesn't suck and isn't afraid of strong women. You'll see.

But right now, you're looking for anyone who isn't a total dud, and I get that.

"...dating a civilian is a bad idea." "I was told dating cops was a mistake. What am I supposed to do, join a nunnery? Sister Office Lucy Chen?"

I'm so glad I wasn't drinking anything the first time I heard this line because there would have been soda everywhere. My husband heard the line over my shoulder and cracked up, too.

And you might be thinking, "Why is she going into all this? Tim and Lucy are nowhere near ready for romance". Welp, I want to show Lucy's mentality in this episode and will explain once we get to 2x11 how it feeds into the situation and the mis-read from Tim.

"Look, no, I'm saying that right now end of shift means leaving the job behind when you go home. But in success, each one of you is gonna catch cases that kick your ass, that consume your every waking thought. And non-cops won't be able to identify. Worse, they're gonna resent you for caring more about the dead than the living."

It's an interesting thought, and for those of us in Season 5, there's a lot to consider, here. I mean, Lucy was cautioned against dating cops, but Isabel and Tim were Rookies and nobody gave him crap about it, from what we know.

Look, I'm not sorry Lucy and Nolan broke up. But, I do think Lucy should consider dating another cop down the line. *cough* Tim *cough*

"Caleb." "Lucy."

It's a chance meeting at the right time. Lucy is on the hunt for a non-mutant man in Los Angeles, and she ends up at the bar with someone who seems semi-safe.

After the conversation she just had with her friends, we can see she really wants to be with someone.

"I was in college when they found the first victims. It was all anyone talked about. That, and how could a woman be so barbaric." "I worked one of the scenes, fourth victim, Lisa Cruz. Homicide detectives warned me not to look at the body. Should've listened."

I love how they're speaking to one another so openly about the whole thing. There's an ease to how they're walking side-by-side that feels lived-in. Yes, he's still her TO, but this is a glimpse at the other side of him—the one that knows how to have a conversation without screaming or scheming.

"Caleb, from the bar last night... I hope this isn't weird, but you left with your perp before I had a chance to ask for your number."

Tim is giving this guy the side-eye. Look, we are nowhere near romance for this pair, but Tim has come to care about Lucy. He wouldn't call her a friend, yet, but they're definitely on their way.

And Lucy's picking up on Tim's hovering, but I don't think either of them could pick up on the why. My husband swooped in to offer his opinion that Tim picked up bad vibes, but wrote it off because it made him look jealous. I don't think he's far off.

I think Tim was being a little protective. Not necessarily because of romance (everything with Isabelle is very fresh at this point). But, while Lucy is still his "Boot", she is crossing that line more and more towards "friend". Tim cares about what happens with Lucy.

He's trying to watch out for her, but she doesn't want a chaperone. For goodness sake, she's a grown woman, right?

"We don't call them perps." "Right, sorry. Anyway, this is my number. If you ever feel like waiting in vain for a drink, give me a call."

Tim Bradford with the save!! He snatches that tiny piece of paper so fast the camera barely catches it. That's a super hero, my friends.

"You got a last name, Caleb?" "Yes sir. Wright with a W." "What do you do? If you say screenwriter, you're going in a cell."

Lucy's horrified. This might be the worst thing Tim has ever done, in her mind.

Remember, at this point everything with Tim is a test. Everything could be used as subterfuge, and she can't trust what's he's going to do with the information he's gathering.

"I manage a medical supply company downtown." "I'm sorry about him. Things are a little crazy right now." "No problem. It was nice meeting you. Officer."

Tim gives her a "can you believe that guy" look, but she has that same energy directed at him. Tim's surprised by that. He really thought she'd appreciate him looking out for her.

She holds out her hand for her piece of paper, and Tim hands it over as she mouths, "Oh my god".

"Ten bucks that isn't even his dog." "It's been an awful day. Can't I just enjoy a cute puppy?"

Tim's getting a look into how Lucy unwinds and relaxes. All day, she's been sneaking glimpses at Caleb's socials to get a feel for him, and it's helping distract her from the no-good day.

Tim of this era hasn't yet learned how to help Lucy talk through things. But he has learned that Lucy and distractions work well for moderating her panic.

Think of the episode with the nuclear bomb and how they spent the whole episode talking about how to sabotage her ex's wedding. Distraction helps her.

"If I can be wheels up in the next 10 minutes, I might beat the afternoon traffic which means I will be in bed in the next hour."

I love how conversational they're being here. You can already tell the lines of TO and friend are starting to blur.

"That's a mistake." "What? Why?" "Look, after working a hardcore assignment like this, you need to go blow off some steam after shift. You know, give your brain a different focus. It's the only way you have a fighting chance of actually sleeping."

This isn't a Tim Test. He's trying to give her advice. Keep this in mind, my friends. It'll come back.

"As my Training Officer, are you saying that I should go get a drink?" "A strong one. Maybe even with another human."

Tim is really trying to do the right thing, here. He snatched away Caleb's phone number earlier, but Lucy's been cyber-stalking him all day and she looks interested.

"Well, I am here to distract you."

I swear I didn't remember that line when I wrote the part above about Lucy needing a distraction.

And we all know that what started as a distracting night led to a nightmare for Lucy.

Before we move on, I want to talk a little bit about Season 2 Tim and Lucy. I know a lot of people love what DOD does for Chenford in terms of progression. But I argue it doesn't cause the shift, but only expedites it.

Look at Tim in this episode, for example. He's downright conversational and friendly with Lucy. Yes, he tells her to get her head in the game instead of looking at Caleb. Yes, he teases her about her first Decomp, but that's the extent of it.

He talks with her openly and honestly about Rosalind. He tries to protect her from Caleb when he thinks the guy's just an unworthy suitor. He tries to give her advice at the end that isn't attached to any "lesson" but simply sharing what he's learned.

Frankly, I think that's what Lucy expected in a TO—someone to talk her through and give her sage advice. And then she got Tim.

Tim doesn't hand out advice willy-nilly. He's a "show" guy, right? Same thing with how he teaches. He's not much of a "talker" with Lucy when it comes to her training. He's trying to get her to think for herself by putting her through her paces.

But this whole episode, he's talking to her. Heck, he's talking with her. Tim doesn't make friends with his Boots, but Lucy is becoming the exception. They aren't there, yet, but they're on their way.

If we look at this episode separated from DOD (if we can), you can see that Tim and Lucy are already moving towards friends. The events of DOD expedites it, I argue, but they would have eventually gotten there on their own. Tim and Lucy are inevitable.

Day of Death

"My day of death."

The pain of a tattoo. The hangover of whatever drugs he gave her. The inability to move her limbs or fight back. Trying to take note of her surroundings, of anything that might be helpful if she can get away.

And that horrible fear that she won't.

"Sergeant."

It takes Harper two seconds to clock the conversation between the men, and she's the first to jump on it. Why? We'll get to that next episode.

"Lucy did not come home last night. She's not responding to texts or calls." "Did she go out with that guy? The one she met at the bar. Caleb Wright with a W."

He remembers it clearly, but he's trying not to panic. After all, his first date with Rachel was *ahem* memorable. Maybe Lucy moves at that same pace?

"Lucy doesn't do one-night stands." "And she's never late."

Her friends know her well, and Grey's smart enough to run with it. Let's be real, there are scenarios where a Sergeant might not listen, might not take it seriously, might not actually do anything.

This is television, and we're not going to let Lucy Chen go quietly into that good night. But it hits me so hard that there are so many cases where alarm bells are rung and left unanswered.

"Why are you doing this?"

Lucy's trying to keep her head in the game. That's what Tim told her to do last episode, right? Keep your head in the game.

"It's for you. To force you to face the truth of your death. It's the gift of something we rarely get in life—clarity."

Fuck you. I'm sorry. Lucy's thinking it and it needed to be said.

"... we believe Caleb is Rosalind's protege, and he took Officer Chen."

The news slams into Tim. And nobody else in the room sees it or knows why. He doesn't even wait to be dismissed. He rushes out of the room, phone dialing before he makes it through the door.

Because this is too much for him to handle. Tim has tried to handle a lot of things on his own. He's famous for isolating himself and trying to pretend he's fine. But this time he calls his best friend. Because he can't do this alone.

"Lucy's been taken. I need you." "On my way."

"Lucy". Not "Chen". Because in his mind, Lucy is already becoming more than a Boot. No, we're not talking romance, here. We're talking friendship. Kinship. Someone he cares about.

Tim Bradford has a very short list, so the fact that his Rookie is close to making the list is significant. But I'm not one who thinks Tim's romantically interested in her all the way back in Season 2. This thing's grown organically over time, though I'd argue DOD gave it a push, as did certain other episodes covered in Future Metas.

"Look, I know I haven't known Lucy as long as the rest of you, but I do know that she's a fighter."

Hell, yeah, our queen is!

"She's gonna do everything she can to stay alive until we save her."

And she does. She fights like hell and does everything she can to survive. But she's weak. She's lethargic. She's drugged. And she's isolated. Utterly alone.

Imagine that moment of fighting your way out, hoping that there'll be someone to hear your voice, to come to your aid, to get the help you so desperately need... and there's no one.

How much of the fight can you keep alive when you realize how little chance you have of surviving?

"... I can't just sit here."

Here's more of a "show" guy. And there's nobody to show.

"I'm fine. Just blowing off steam."

What he told Lucy to do. What he thought would be safe. What he thought would be relaxing. What he thought would be distracting. What he thought would be fun.

He's not blowing off steam. He's a pressurized gasket ready to explode.

"I get it, but you gotta get your head in the game." "I don't need a pep talk." "Then why'd you call me? Clearly you need to get something off your chest."

Tim forgets the power of words, sometimes. We see it a lot through the season. Maybe it's because he never learned how to use them growing up.

FAST FORWARD: We're a ways away from Season 4 and Tim's backstory episodes that help illuminate just how bad it was for him. Tim's father didn't use words. He used his fists. His mother likely didn't use words, either. They didn't talk about what he went through. He never learned to express himself that way. It takes someone coaxing it out of him, and right now that's his best friend.

"She wanted to go home. Okay? Go to bed. I told her that she should focus on something else. She went out with Caleb because I told her to."

And he's carrying the weight of that guilt. It's too heavy for him to bear. Tim Bradford has carried too many weights, and this one is too much. Did he doom his Rookie to die?

"You couldn't have known."

Angela's whole attitude shifts (how could it not?) because Tim Bradford is expressing emotions with his best friend. And that is huge and this whole thing is horrible.

"But I should have. I'm a cop. I was standing this close to the guy, okay? Right across from him and I never saw him coming. But she did, though. She... Some part of her didn't feel right about this whole thing. She hesitated. And I pushed her right at him."

He's wrong. It has to be said that Lucy might not have gone out with Caleb that night, but it could have been another night. Tim only thinks this because of his own guilt, his own pain, his own frustrations with himself for not being Super Cop.

Lucy wanted to go out with this guy. Maybe she wouldn't have gone out that night without the push. But Caleb was a serial killer, and would've put her on his list sooner or later... and more women would have died in the meantime. It's not Tim's fault any more than it's Lucy's.

He thinks he failed Lucy, but this isn't a situation where you can predict every move. We're not going to victim-blame here. We're not going to point fingers.

Because minus the serial killer plot, this shit happens every day. Around the world, there are people whose drinks are spiked, people who are abducted, people who have their choice and consent ripped from them.

And it's not the victim's fault in any way. And it's not the fault of a friend who suggested they have a fun night out. It's no one's fault but the asshole who perpetrated the crime.

Getting off my soap box, here, now, to get back to the Meta. But watching Tim go through this reminds me of how I still struggle with blaming myself for a friend of mine OD'ing because I didn't reach out to them that night.

What if I'd reached out? What if I hadn't ignored their vague Facebook post thinking that I'd only be adding to their frustrations and that they needed the night to cool off? Would they still be here if I'd commented? Or sent them a message? I'm a state away, so I couldn't reasonably drive... but could I have done something that would have meant they'd still be here?

I know I can't blame myself. But there are some days I still struggle with it. Because she's gone. And I'll never ever know if I could have helped. Cognitively, I know it's not my fault. I couldn't have done anything, but there's that part of you that still thinks... you made the wrong call, and if you'd called it the other way, it might be different, now.

"If I get that away from you, it's going right in your brain."

She kept her head in the game. She's up against life and death, here, and she's at the disadvantage. But she's a fucking fighter. Look, we know that Lucy is tough. This is something else entirely. She's staring down the murderer who wants to hear her scream, who wants to soak up her agony, who wants to get her to crumble.

And Lucy Chen's standing up to that asshole with the ultimate, "Fuck You" by not giving in.

She must want to cry. She must want to scream. But Lucy Chen is a fighter, and she's not going down easy.

Lucy Leaves a Clue

It's a long shot. It's such a bloody long shot. But she has to try. Lucy truly believes that she will be found, long shot as it is.

And that hope can be a powerful thing. Caleb tried to wield it against her, but he's no match for her.

"Any last words?" "Yeah. You're gonna be dead long before I am."

Damn right, Lucy Chen. Damn right.

"Now, I am responsible for a life that is in jeopardy, and I will do whatever I have to to save her."

And he means it. Watch Jackson's surprise to see Tim Bradford slam a guy's head against the horn. Because Tim's unhinged, here. Someone he cares about has been taken, and he doesn't give a damn what happens to him or his career.

He'll let it all fall if it means Lucy survives.

FAST FORWARD: We talk a lot about how Tim makes sacrifices for Lucy where his career is concerned. And while in later seasons it becomes their thing, I think in this case he'd have done it for any of his few friends. We later see him risk it all for Angela when she's kidnapped, too. Tim has a separate code for his friends. And Lucy's falling more under it over time. Again not romantic... yet.

"There can be charges in here that lead us to Caleb."

Did you clock that brief smile? Before Jackson walks up, Tim thinks they're at a dead end. Lucy's lost. She's gone. And he'll never get to atone for his mistake.

Jackson brings a sliver of light and hope, and it's enough that Tim actually briefly grins. It's not over, yet.

"Stars shining bright above you..."

The song. Lucy's song to keep herself calm and regulate her breathing. Yes, not talking would have been better, but she needs this. She needs light and life and love. Something bright to pierce the darkness.

Her oxygen is running low, and she's having more trouble breathing, more trouble seeing a way out. The last thing she's going to give that bastard is the satisfaction of watching her scream.

And Melissa O'Neil is breaking my heart. Acting-wise, she is literally in a barrel. There's no one to react off of. There's no one feeding her lines.

It's just Lucy in a barrel, and it's up to the actress to make us feel. No cool camera angles. No sweeping score. Melissa O'Neil had to carry us through this and she did it masterfully.

Yes, the Writers decided to have her singing this song. The script, or a Director or Editor decided to strip the rest of the sound from the overlapping visuals (there's a lot of playing with sound and its impact in this episode that's jaw-droppingly beautiful).

But Melissa O'Neil is the one who has to make us believe it. And we do.

A Glint of Light

Tim's eyes scan the miles of land, looking for some sign of disturbance to clue him in on Lucy's location. But it's something that doesn't belong that grabs his attention—something that literally catches the light of the sun and draws Tim in. Her ring.

He picks it up, still uncertain, but following the clue. A few kicks and... a thunk.

"I've got her! I've got her!"

Tim starts digging in the ground with his bare hands, the grit getting under his fingernails, the dust getting into his lungs. He registers the others, but only barely. He has to get to Lucy.

The ground gives way enough to reach the lid. Tim's hands are all over it, Nyla on one side and Jackson on the other. When they can finally see her, Tim asks for help as they pull her out. But he hovers, staying close, being certain he is the one to make sure she's alive.

Because if she's dead, it's on him.

Look, we know Tim didn't do anything wrong. But Tim Bradford carries a lot of scars and blames himself for a lot of things he shouldn't. And if he can't get to her in time, if he pulls her out and she's truly gone... he can never atone for this.

She's not breathing. Tim blows into her mouth and starts pumping on her chest. The sound drains from the world... just the discordant notes sounding off and echoing like the dying hope of Lucy surviving.

Lucy gasps, and the sound returns to the world. Each person takes a breath of relief. But then the sound zeroes in only on two people—Lucy and Tim.

"You're so strong," he murmurs, soft enough for her to hear, but no one else. But she doesn't hear anything. It's too much. It's all too fucking much. The sobs she'd held in before finally spill out as Tim pulls her close, holding her tight.

He thought he'd lost her. And, again, there's no romance here. But she matters, damnit. She matters to Tim more than he thought she would when they first met. He presses a hand to her hair, pushing his face next to hers.

It screams "I'm here. I'm here." Because in his mind, he is the one who failed her and it had to be him to save her. He owed it to her. He was responsible for her. He fucked up.

And it almost cost her her life.

Again, I don't think that. But Tim does. He truly believes he's the one who failed her. And when you have very few people in your life who care about you (and Lucy has demonstrated many times that she does care about Tim), you don't want to do anything to lose that.

But Tim believes he almost lost Lucy because he wasn't good enough. It plays so much into his childhood trauma, his trauma with his ex-wife, and everything else. Tim thinks he failed.

She doesn't cling to him, no. Her hands shake and her body convulses from the pain. But she lets him hold her there, back in the air, out of her barrel.

Tim isn't her person, yet. But she cares about him, and she knows deep down that he cares about her. She even told Rachel about his good heart.

But her not holding him is completely appropriate to the moment. It's not about him. This is about her. Her trauma. Her survival. Lucy's breaking in this moment. She spent so much time keeping her head in the game, and now she's finally releasing all the anguish she refused to show Caleb.

And she is safe in Tim's arms to fall apart.

I knew from the Pilot that Eric Winter was a tour-de-force. But in this episode we see so many damn layers. And Tim's relief at holding her in his arms at the end instead of cradling her corpse is palpable.

The way this scene is shot and performed and the sound... it all puts us in the moment. We are right there with them, and it's one of my favorite scenes of the entire series.

Here in the barren waste of sand and silence... there's life.

"Hmm. What are you reading, Teen Rebel?"

She wakes up to see Tim there, waiting. He hasn't slept. He hasn't left. We know that. He's spent the past 24 hours feeling completely responsible for Lucy, and it's not easy to leave the side of the person who you pushed yourself to save.

And the first thing she says to him isn't about what she's survived, or even about him finding her. It's about the damn magazine. And it's perfect.

After what she's survived, Lucy needs something familiar. And Tim is pretty damn familiar in her life.

Before we get too much further... I want to call out the lengths Tim went to save Lucy.

FAST FORWARD: We haven't yet reached, "Some things matter more". But Tim's already showing that in action. He's a "show" guy, remember?

Tim was willing to do whatever it took to save her. He would put it all on the line, and that's because he cares about her. No, they're not ripping one another's clothes off. It's Season 2, she's his Boot, and he doesn't even acknowledge friendship with her, yet.

But she is becoming his friend. She's becoming one of the very few people that Tim Bradford will upend the world for.

"They actually have some really insightful political articles."

Watch how fast that man wheeled his little chair over to her side. It makes me giggle with glee.

"Oh, which BTS member is your soulmate. Gotta be Suga, right?" "Totally. What's a BTS?"

Lucy laughs. Probably her first good laugh in days. And it's with Tim. Hardass, Tim Test, never-lets-up Tim.

"Have you been here all night?" "No. Mmhm. No." "Mmhmm."

Because TO Tim can't show that he cares. Not yet. I mean, he's never felt this friendly toward a Boot, and he can't go soft on her when she still has so far to go before crossing the finish line.

Remember, Tim likes rules and staying within them—whether they're the rules set out for him by a superior or the ones he's created for himself. Counting Lucy a friend is outside the lines. But much as he might try to deny it, he's showing it.

He's used to giving his Rookies what he thinks they need, and with Lucy, it's most often tough love and some manipulative tests. For him to break through his own wall of separating personal life from professional life is too much. So, he lies.

But Lucy can see right through him. Strangely, she's always had that power.

"How did you find me?"

Nolan interrupts the moment. Damnit, Nolan! But we'll all get to that later... next episode.

There's a reason I wanted to do these three together. Look, this show is still basically a Procedural at its heart with some continuous story lines. But these three episodes feel more serial than a lot of the show, and because of that, I think the whole picture is required to ascertain its meaning.

"He is a she and she is going to sleep in my bed since I am clearly never going on a date, again."

We started this whole trilogy with Lucy considering a nunnery. And, again, I think this calls attention to what it's like to be a single woman in the world. Yes, assaults can happen to anyone.

But as a woman, I can tell you I never get anything to drink but water when I'm out with my friends. I never leave my drink unattended. And a male friend always walks me to my car. Theater kids go out a lot to bars (like, after every rehearsal), so there was a season in my life where this was a nightly ritual. Trying to stay safe out there.

So, if Lucy doesn't want to ever date again after her ordeal, I don't bloody blame her, and neither do her best friend, past fling, and future husband.

"You hungry?"

Sometimes I swear this man is part Jewish mother. If you Fast Forward in the series, you see he's always trying to feed this woman.

And, yes, I'm saying this from experience. There was an old saying that if you wanted a lot more food from my Great-Aunt Mary, you said you wanted a little. If you wanted a little, you said you wanted none. And if you wanted none, you hid your plate.

"Yeah. I'm starving. You know what I really wanna eat right now?" "Veggie burger and fries. Extra pickles."

Awwwww! Remember in 2x01 when she sent him food? "You shouldn't have done that." "Well, I wanted to. And eating well is crucial to a fast recovery."

He's using the lessons he learned from her as an act of love. Again, not romantic love. But love, nonetheless.

"You know me so well." "Too well."

Look at those smiles. Alright, y'all, I'll admit those smiles put butterflies in my stomach, too.

And the fact that the director chose to take us off of the wide shot so we only saw Tim and Lucy for these last few lines. Because this is about them.

Tim is caring about Lucy far more than he should. And he's growing aware of that. But the nature of this episode makes it impossible for him to shove it down entirely. He writes it off as concern and guilt, and doesn't realize he's been slowly letting Lucy into his circle of friends.

But if we talk about who really knows Lucy in this scene? It's Tim.

Jackson brought pretty flowers, which are nice, but will die. Nolan brought the most giant, pink bear. She's cute, but eventually she'll disappear from Lucy's life because her next boyfriend's not going to want to share the bed with a pink stuffy (unless he's into that... no judgment).

Tim. Brought. Her. Food. Yes, it'll be gone pretty quickly. But I can tell you after not being allowed to eat for both my deliveries of my three kids, I was famished. Lucy hasn't eaten in days, and she wants something filling and comforting. Tim brought her the exact order she wanted without her having to ask.

As much as he tries to separate professional and personal, Lucy's blurring those lines. To me, the Season 1 finale was really the start of that. And Tim bites back against that as much as he can in Season 2 (even treating Lucy like shit because she didn't report him for suicidal ideation).

But this trilogy of episodes breaks down that wall further. Yes, he's still her TO and he's still not going to think of her as a friend. But S2-3 is where that really comes together. They were already on their way, but with these events, he softens towards her in a way he never anticipated.

We get to see him soft throughout the series with "his people". But at this point, he's not yet ready to admit Lucy is one of them. It's outside his standard operating procedure for Rookies.

But, despite his protests, he's making a friend. The kind of friend that sticks. The kind of friend that doesn't leave. The kind of friend that loves with abandon.

And someday, someday, she might become more than that. But right now, he's not even ready to admit she's a friend... but, damn, our "show" guy really showed it.

I really want to call out the coloration and choices of this episode. When Lucy first wakes up on the table (with no establishing shot, so we're as clueless to how isolated she is, just as she is), everything i s tripped back. Melissa O'Neil's makeup is stripped down and we can see her pores.

The first time I watched that scene I thought, "Wow, they really stripped out all the color". There's something about the harshness of yellows, beiges, and browns on their own that evoke old Westerns. That sense of isolation, famine, and drought.

Lucy's world is often so vibrant that the stark shift helps us feel the anxiety with her. There's nothing bright or beautiful about this world. Only de-saturated hopelessness.

Now and Then

Lucy In The Mirror

Lucy's wounds have healed. Her wrists are free of the tie marks. Her face is free of the cuts and bruises. But the tattoo remains. She can hear the sound of the tattoo gun in her mind.

Yes, Lucy has many tattoos, but those were of her choosing. This was another violation—something inflicted upon her. Lucy tries covering up, but the foundation sticks to her shirt.

And, yes, there are makeups out there that can cover up tattoos. Being the daughter of a makeup artist, I know way too much about it and have seen mother in action covering an entire chest full of tattoos for a shoot. That's not the point.

The point of this scene is to remind us (and Lucy) that this can't be covered up. It's on her. It's permanent unless she has it burned off.

"When can she have it removed?" "Four weeks. Two days. Nine hours."

Her mind is on it all the time. She knows it down to the hour. Doesn't sound like someone who's healed to me. But, duh. That's the whole point of the episode.

"Hey, so what's your plan?" "For what?" "Officer Chen. I'm sure you've got some Alpha strategy to get her back on the horse, so, what is it?"

Let's be real. Tim would be Tim, but he wasn't going to be his harshest self on her first day back. He wouldn't be capable of it. But Nyla doesn't know that.

"So basically get her into as many fights as possible." "I'm gonna remind her that she's a cop, not a victim." "She knows that she's not a victim. Look, Chen doesn't need to fight. She needs to make peace with the voice inside of her head telling her she's never gonna be safe again."

I wish someone had asked Lucy. Looking at this situation, they're both coming at it from the wrong angle for Lucy. Tim's going for how he processes and Nyla's going for how she does. Neither of them asks Lucy what she needs.

Look, these are characters who are going to do what's in-character. For the scene and the arc, this has to go this way. But as a person who has had a lifetime of people thinking they know what I need and making it a thousand times worse, I have a personal response to this.

But in character? Both Tim and Nyla want what's best for Lucy and think they're the one to give it to her.

"Okay, I've been training Rookies a lot longer than you. I know what she needs." "That's ego talking. What happened to Chen is every woman's worst fear." "I'm aware of that." But you have never lived that fear."

That stops Tim. Because she's right. Part of Tim's arc in Season 1 and 2 with Lucy by his side is discovering his subconscious biases. She forces him to think beyond what he thinks he knows.

And here, he's facing that even without Lucy present. Because she's opening up his mind to seeing past his own limited perspective.

"It's clear that you have her best interests at heart. I am just asking you to consider whether she might be better served by someone who has been through what she has been through."

This is a lot for Nyla to offer. A woman's experiences are not owed to anyone. But she chooses to give him this insight into why she really believes she's the best person to help Lucy through.

And Tim's listening. He's really listening to what she's saying.

"And that someone's you." *nods* "Okay. I'll tell Grey to make the switch."

I love Eric Winter's choices on this. He's reacting not only to the information that Nyla just shared, knowing that she doesn't want apologies or empty words from him. He didn't do it. But he's sorry it happened. He's face to face with someone in uniform who, like Lucy, thought they were safe with someone when they weren't.

And he's thinking of Lucy. The last thing he wants to do is hurt her, to make this harder, to set her back.

Lucy At Roll Call

She pauses outside the room. Much as she wants to get back at it, this is a point-of-no-return morning. She doesn't want special treatment. She doesn't want weird glances. She doesn't want whispered words.

She doesn't want the damn applause.

"Congratulations you survived but you're branded by a serial killer and still processing the emotional trauma and we want you know that we are all talking about you, and looking at you, and thinking about you."

Damn it.

"Welcome back, Officer Chen. How're you feeling? Can't wait to get on the streets, sir, just get back to normal." "We're going to mix things up a bit. You're going to be riding with Harper this week."

What. The. Fuck!? Lucy just said that she wants to go back to normal. Riding with Nyla is not normal.

Lucy looks back to Tim for confirmation and he nods. But she's still confused. She's on-edge. She didn't expect to come back to work straight into a Tim Test, and that's what this feels like.

Everything that she wanted for transitioning back to work is going wrong.

"I'm not interested in chasing tame calls today."

Because Tim needs to process his way. Look, he in no way went through what Lucy did. Not at all. But he's still carrying his guilt and frustrating, and he needs to channel that into something he can do.

Tim is a man of action, and since he can't take action to help Lucy through her re-acclimation, he's going to do what he needs to do to distract him from worrying about her—his job.

"So why the switch?" "Tim felt you'd be better served riding with me." "Yeah, right. This has to be some kind of elaborate Tim Test that he roped you into." "Do I strike you as someone who could get roped into anything? Especially by Bradford?"

Note the switch from "Tim" to "Bradford". Nyla was trying to keep it conversational at the beginning, but the second Lucy calls out perceived pliability, Nyla snaps back to put Lucy in her place.

"Fair enough. So, I'll ask you again, why the switch?" "I convinced him that I would have more insight into what you were going through and could therefore be more helpful to your re-integration onto the streets."

Look how Lucy recoils. Much as Lucy loves talking things out, she doesn't want to talk about this. She doesn't want to have to think about what she's been through while she's out here. She wants normal.

"Did you go on a date with a serial killer, too?" "Uh, no." "Well, then I'm not sure how much help you'd be. But it's fine, 'cause I don't need any help. I've already worked through the trauma using both cognitive and exposure therapy combined with mindful breathing and Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing. So, it's, it's fine."

Of course, we know Lucy's far from fine. But this isn't what she wanted. She didn't want to have special treatment. She didn't want to be pulled from working with Tim. Frustrating as he is, he's familiar. That's normal.

And Lucy's gone through all the Psychological steps she thinks will help her be fine. It's her blind spot, truly. Because she seems to think there's a point where you're just "fine" and don't need to process anymore.

No, that trauma will come up, again, we know. But right now she doesn't want to face it. She's trying to pretend her way to being fine.

"Need backup for a felony car stop." "You sure?" "Hell, yeah."

Everyone's surprised to hear her voice. But she wants to get back at it. She doesn't want to feel different. It's bad enough what she has to deal with in her head. At the Station, she's a Rookie, yeah, but she's a cop.

And the more I look at this episode the more it feels like Lucy and Tim have traded spots for a day. Normally, Tim's the one who doesn't want to talk and would rather bury himself in the job. And Lucy's usually the one second-guessing.

But Tim second-guessed himself this morning and let Nyla have Lucy. And everyone wants Lucy to talk, but she'd rather get in the action.

"You want me to do the paperwork?" "Oh, nope."

Tim always has Lucy do the paperwork. She wants to do what's familiar, what's natural, what's practiced. "Please let me be normal".

"That was a nice job out there." "Thanks." "So you're just not gonna let me help you at all." "I don't need any help."

Look, we all know that she does, but not like this. Nyla wants so badly to help Lucy, but if Lucy isn't ready, trying to push her like this isn't going to change anything. It's going to push her further inward.

"Did you get the flowers we sent?" "And the basket. Thank you."

Lucy really has some lovely people in her life. And look at her genuine appreciation for Abigail, here. Baskets are one of Lucy's love languages, and she nailed it.

"What the hell is this? I let you run around with Harper for half the day and you start hugging people on duty?" "Don't listen to him. He's all bark."

Tim is being his grumpy-ass self and Lucy's smiling like the sunshine that she is. This is what she thought she'd have today. This rhythm to which she's already grown accustomed.

Yes, Tim gets under her skin and pisses her off. But she knows him. She's used to him. The Tim Tests come when she least expects it, but she knows to expect that.

While there are many mysteries left to this man, he's been her biggest constant during her Rookie year. And it's nice to get to talk to him.

"All bark? She is not buying what you're selling." "Because I don't hold her fate in my hands."

They're teasing. We're to the point in their relationship where they can tease one another, and you can see how comfortable Lucy is in this.

Apart from the action, this is the most comfortable we've seen her all episode.

"Heard you dodged some bullets." "Yeah, a few. What, are you keeping tabs on me?"

The discomfort is back. Because even Tim Fucking Bradford is acting different around her. There's a softness to him that she's never seen before directed at her. Yes, she's seen it... but not with those eyes directed her way.

"Look, if you need anything, you let me know."

Finally, someone asks what she needs. All day, people (including Tim) have been making assumptions about what she needs. But here Tim is truly putting her first and trying to see if there's anything he can really do.

"You got a time machine?" "I wish I did."

Because he'd go back and take back the decision that fed her to the lion. Yes, we all know it's not Tim's fault. But he still feels like it is. And this is what Lucy really wishes she had—not some remedy or quick fix... that it never happened.

"You're not gonna shower?" "Uh, I'm gonna do it a home."

Because she doesn't want the stares. She doesn't want the questions. She doesn't want the reminder.

She's wearing concealer under her shirt because she doesn't want to see the thing. And she's tired of the comments and special treatment. Lucy wants to go back to normal.

Now, we can already see from this episode that "normal" isn't really possible. Relationships have shifted. Lucy is not the same woman she was before. Yes, she'll open up parts of her that shut down over time, but she'll never be who she was before that night of carefree drinks gone wrong.

But that's what Lucy wants in this moment. Normalcy.

"Oh, but you're not going home."

The hell?! She was just abducted and now you won't let her go home? Sorry, but that was my gut reaction watching this.

"We have plans. Girls' Night." "Oh, I get it. You've seen that I'm find on the job, but you're still not convinced." "We just thought it would be fun." ... "It's... you guys have just never asked me out before."

Think of how happy Lucy was that she was getting invited to something normal!? And with these two bad-ass women!

Lucy spends so much of her time in the first two seasons with Jackson and Nolan that we rarely get to see her with the other women of the Station.

She was going to get to have a night out with two women she trusts—something safe. And she had just relaxed into that when they pulled this shit.

Look, I'm salty at these two. I love Nyla and Angela's my number three on the show. But this was a terrible idea. Nyla was critical of Tim throwing her into work, but she's throwing her into the dating pool.

And it's no wonder Lucy was triggered. She isn't ready to date, again. And that's fine. She should be able to get out there when she is ready.

But we all experience the world through out unique lenses and experiences. And a very real mistake we make is assuming because I need it this way, you do, too.

I have twin sons. When they were 9 months old, a friend handed down a toy to us. You throw a ball into the toy and it makes a noise. Ta-da! One child giggled uncontrollable. They other screamed and broke down in sobs.

Different people react differently. They need different coping mechanisms. They need different healing paths. When we try too hard to homogenize treatment, we miss the opportunity for true healing.

And part of the problem here is the utter lack of communication. Nyla has hinted to Tim what she went through, but she hasn't given Lucy any indication.

Now, Nyla doesn't owe Lucy her story. But she has chosen to help Lucy, and it would be a helluva lot easier to get through to Lucy if she communicated with her.

"Hey, Lucy had a bit of a moment last night when we were out."

Tim. Is. Pissed. Angela can tell that's all it took for him to be ready to go into Tim-Mode on someone's ass.

"It's not a big deal. She's fine." "What the hell is Harper doing?" "Helping. Don't get all 'Tim' on me. I just thought you should know." "Lucy's okay?" "She will be." "Alright. Thanks for letting me know."

Angela is the only one who knows about Tim's guilt. She's the only one who knows the weight he's been carrying, blaming himself for what happened to Lucy. She's the only one to know he has a growing soft spot for her.

So she does the right thing and gives him a heads-up.

And note how it's always "Lucy" when he's talking with Angela in these episodes. With Nolan, it's "Chen" because Nolan is not Tim's friend. But Angela's his best friend, and he can let his guard down a little when it comes to her.

Nyla Shares Her Tale

We already said that Nyla doesn't owe anyone her story. But by keeping it from Lucy, Lucy was pushing her away. She truly thought it was another outsider with outside opinions trying to force her to be okay.

Hearing Nyla's story, she is finally able to see her differently. There's a beat right after Lucy says, "I'm so sorry," where Melissa O'Neil shifts her gaze from cynical to sisterly—Lucy sees herself in Nyla.

For the first time since she's gotten out of that barrel, there's someone who isn't an outsider who truly wants to help.

"I shut down. I didn't even tell my husband. I kept telling myself that I would deal with it when I was ready." "But with every passing week it just got worse." "Maybe I pushed you too hard last night. But I know what it is like when you do not face things head-on."

Look how Lucy has shifted. Because Nyla can relate. Lucy was pushing so hard against her from the get-go that she missed the signs on this.

She was so focused on pushing everyone away and keeping everyone out that she missed that Nyla wasn't another outsider looking in with "expert" opinions on something they know nothing about. Nyla really does know.

"You and Chen are close, right?"

"I used to be inside her on the regular, so, yeah." I'm sorry. I had to. It was the first thing that popped into my head when I watched the scene.

"How's she doing? I mean, really doing?"

Because Tim is in his phase of needing to know how Lucy is, but not being the one "in the know". He's still her TO, and going directly to her for information is outside his code. But he can't help worrying. Lucy matters to him.

"She's good. Really. I think she'll be better once she gets that tattoo removed. Can you imagine that? Walking around every day branding by the worst thing that's ever happened to you? " "You think because it's physical, it's worse? Tragedies always leave scars. Only some of them you can see."

Again, this is about perspective. Some people are visual learners. Some are auditory. Some learn by doing.

I have a weird quirk of my brain that a memory is stronger for me if I can see a photo of it. Yes, I have other memories, but I can almost transport back to the moments in my photo albums since I've had decent memory. Visuals are important for me.

To Tim, it doesn't matter if it's visual or not. But Lucy might be different. Seeing that every day might mean more to her than it does to him. He's not considering that.

Seriously, as a former Communications student (two degrees in it), this episode is a masterclass in personal bias and intrapersonal vs interpersonal communication. In the moments of actual connection there's communication that's clear and concise.

Throughout the episode, everyone is making choices that are complicating matters. They're trying to do what's right, but they're doing it without clarity.

Nyla gets through to Lucy best when she talks to the woman in an open and honest manner. Same with Tim, later.

But, I'm skipping ahead...

A Punching Bag

Remember how I said Tim and Lucy have switched places this episode? In the same place where Lucy once offered Tim perspective (on his learning disability) and a gift (the book on tape), Tim will have his moment.

Lucy wipes her face without thinking, and Tim gets a glimpse of the tattoo. It flusters Lucy as she turns. She doesn't want to talk about it.

He's come down here for a reason. After spending all day asking others about her, he needs to see her for himself.

He wants to say something, too, but he's second-guessing. Ever since he pushed her toward a serial killer, he's been second-guessing where she's concerned.

"You got no quit in you, do you, Boot?" "No, sir. I get that from you." "I don't think so. You walked in the door this way. It's what makes you so aggravating."

He's teasing her. This is their rhythm. They've found it and they've earned it, and she's been stripped from it when she really wanted something familiar.

"I'm taking that as a compliment." "It was meant to be. You have a good night." "Yeah, you, too."

Tim turns to go, shoving his hands in his pockets. As he does, his fingers graze the ring... her ring. The ring he's been carrying around because it's tangible. It's something he can hold onto and remind himself that it's true—Lucy lived.

He turns around, no longer second-guessing. He has something to say, and he can only hope she hears him.

"You know, I got half a dozen scars. Bullet wounds, knife wounds, broken bottle. Then there's the ones you can't see, Isabel's addiction, a dad who would tune me up on the regular. And whether I like it or not, they're a part of me."

I can't remember him talking this openly about the trauma of Isabel's addiction before. But, he's in the Lucy role, today. He's talking things out while she's taking it out on a punching bag.

"I know what you're trying to do. And I appreciate it, but this is different. I was tattooed by a sadist who etched my day of death into my skin." "Okay, but you didn't die. Okay? You lived. And now he's the one in the ground."

Lucy sighs, because here's another outsider telling her what to do and how to feel.

"I'm not trying to tell you what to do with it. Okay? Burn it off, keep it, whatever gives you peace."

That's a little better. Lucy starts listening at that. Because, everyone's trying to push her in a direction, and he makes it clear that that's not his intention. He's not trying to push her to do or be anything.

"All I'm trying to do is give you some hard-won perspective."

If this was Pee Wee's Playhouse, we'd all have to scream because "Perspective" is the word of the day. Because each person's perspective has been an obstacle, today. Each person's perspective has been a roadblock.

But Tim's being very clear that he's offering only that—his Perspective. And, remember, Lucy cares very much what Tim thinks of her. She cares how he sees her. She doesn't want to let him down.

"You can choose to see that tattoo as your greatest failure. But I see it as proof that you're a survivor."

"You're so strong," he'd whispered when she started breathing, again. She might have been too overwhelmed at the moment to ever remember that, but we do. He recognized her strength and ability to survive right then.

This isn't lip-service. This is Tim Bradford being completely honest about how he sees Lucy.

"It wasn't your day of death, Officer Chen. It was the first day of the rest of your life. And no one can take that away from you."

There it is. No, this isn't going to "fix" the pain that Lucy's feeling. It's not going to make the trauma disappear. It's not going to erase the memories. But this mind-flip of that tattoo is powerful.

Because Caleb made her say aloud what that tattoo meant. He told her that it was for her, for her perspective, for her to own up to what he said it meant.

And here's Tim Bradford, a man who Lucy respects and trusts, helping her look at it from a different angle.

And isn't that what Tim does so well? Lucy even calls him out on it later in the show... He's the king at coming at things sideways and seeing another angle.

What he's saying is, "YOU, Lucy, get to decide how you look at that tattoo." She's spent so much time looking at it from Caleb's perspective that she didn't consider there was an alternative.

"Thanks." "Yeah. You're welcome."

Tim shoves his hands back in his pocket, and they both let the moment pass, easily. He said what he needed to say, and she heard him. Now, they can move forward.

"You riding with me tomorrow?" "Yes sir." "Good. Get in early. War bags need restocking." "Okay."

Tim pulls the ring from his pocket and tosses it to Lucy before she can register what it is. As she opens her hands, she sees it—her ring.

The ring she tossed off her hand in hopes that someone would find it. And Tim did. He found it. He found her.

"How did you find me?" Lucy asked from her hospital bed. Now, she has the answer.

Lucy looks up at Tim in awe and surprise. He smiles at the ring at her hand, and then back at her. He'd been carrying it around for a while because he didn't yet have Lucy back. Yes, she was at work, but not riding with him.

Tim once talked to Lucy about finding something tangible to focus on instead of the intangibility of nuclear disaster. Yes, he was being figurative, but I don't put it past him to take it literal. Lucy is back, but not back with him, yet.

Tomorrow, she'll be in his Shop. And now he doesn't need something tangible to hold onto to remind him that she is coming back, because she'll be there. By his side.

This is theirs. Tim told no one how he found her. She told no one that she'd dropped the ring. Only Tim and Lucy know this part of her story... of their story.

*phew* this one was emotionally exhausting. It took a week of work. But, I hope you enjoy it. It's heavier than most, but I think it's earned.

I would argue that Tim and Lucy are already on their way to friendship at the beginning of this trilogy, but the events that happen expedite it, and also solidify their trust of one another.

Tim respects the hell out of her. He knows what she's capable of, and now he's seen it for himself. Yes, he's going to be tough on her, again, when he's ready. And, yes, she's going to be pissed at him, when she's ready.

But only Tim and Lucy know who they are in the in-betweens. When the cameras aren't rolling on their chests and nobody else is listening in—like this ending scene. This is theirs.

And as they move forward in their relationship, there are all these touchstones, these pillars that shifted things that they can look back on as guide posts or stepping stones that at the time seemed small, but proved essential to their journey.

And, oh, I can't wait to see where it takes them next.

As always, thanks for reading.

[kunikame]

Natsume!! hello! i see rqs r open.....kindly asking if u don't mind..... ahem,,, small hcs of leo comforting fem!s/o that came home and break down in front of him bcz of toxic work place? i need comfort after angsty day ToT, take yer time n don't forget to rest!

-🐝

hi hi bee nonnie welcome to the squad!!! ofc ofc! im so sorry it took so long to get this out i kept rewriting it cuz i never liked how it came out. still kinda dont but my beta readers said its good so im gonna trust them :,) hope you like it ! thank you & have a great day <3

[ natsume & izumi ver. ]

comfort crowd - t. leo

warnings : "angel" used once (1 time)

w/c : 862

today was a horrible day, you decided. it started when you realized you forgot your house keys, then when your only friend at work didn't show up, making the place 10 times more unbearable than it was with her around.

next thing you know everyone was approaching you with demands you couldn't possibly meet in your work hours, so they asked you to stay later. your superior started yelling at you for missing a report you were sure you weren't even asked to write, but no one would listen to you trying to defend yourself.

by the time you were finished, it was way past your usual clock out time and your lock screen was filled with messages from leo asking where you were.

heaving a deep sigh and looking around the office you realized you were the last one there. you stood up, tired bones aching, and stretched hoping to relieve at least some of the pain. spoiler alert: didn't help.

you walked out of the building, your mind exhaustedly pulling your body along with you, the only thing keeping you going was the thought of laying in bed.

then it started raining, because of course it did

this time you groaned, of course this happens when you dont have an umbrellla, or your keys. putting in the effort to sluggishly walk home faster, your feet carried you on autopilot as your mind was far, far away. what was leo doing right now? you only hope he didn't burn the apartment down. wait- apartment.... you'll have to walk up all those stairs.. oh wait, nevermind, there's an elevator. thank god.

next thing you know you were standing in said elevator ascending to your apartments floor. the doors opened facing a long hallway. you got out and slowly walked towards the door decorated with an orange bell leo insisted on hanging. you knocked and the door opened immediately, the bell letting out a pleasant chime.

"where've you been i was worried sick you weren't even answering your messages and-"

you walked past him. no matter how it stabbed you in the heart to do so, you were too tired to listen to his yelling right now.

the ginger stood in the doorway dumbfounded, then slowly turned to see you walking towards the bedroom. gently closing the door and locking it, he followed you.

"what's wrong?" he asked, quieter this time.

you sighed, "work. it was horrible," though you told yourself you wouldn't cry, the slight tremble in your voice betrayed you.

"wanna talk about it? i'll run you a warm bath."

the stabbing in your heart got more intense. now you felt even worse for walking past him. wordlessly nodding knowing your voice would betray you if you spoke, leo stood watching you for a moment then left for the bathroom.

a few moments later you followed after him. the sweet aroma of the floral scented bath bubbles you bought a month ago surrounded you and suddenly your headache wasn't as bad as it was just a moment ago. your boyfriend looked at you and grinned, telling you to get in while he fetched a towel. you did just that.

the water was just the right temparature and you felt your stiff muscles relaxing. heaving a sigh, you leaned your head against the edge of the tub and closed your eyes. maybe this is what your mind was craving instead of just sleeping your problems away.

leo came back with the softest towel you owned and sat next to the tub. he looked at you for a moment, your posture more relaxed and your eyebrows no longer scrunched up.

"so, what happened?"

you went on a rant, telling him about your troubles throughout the day. you don't remember when exactly he moved over to start massaging your shoulders and scalp but you wouldn't dare complain. it felt so so nice.

his fingers kept moving through your hair, not stopping even when you were done ranting. he knew how much you needed this. just like how you did everything in your power to ensure he never overworked himself and kept his shine, he had to do the same. he loved you wholeheartedly, with his entire being and more, seeing you so down felt like a knife stab right in his heart.

"i'm sorry you had to go through all that today angel. is anzu off sick or was she just not in today?" you shrugged.

"well, no matter. we could always find you a different job. and before you complain, this space is clearly not good for you. you're always exhausted and they demand too much of you. i say you should quit. i could ask sena if he knows about anything. or arashi maybe.. tsukasa?" he moved to sit in front of you and held your hand close to his heart, "i'll ask anyone and everone. i'll do anything, no matter what it takes. it's my job to save you, i am your knight after all," and he showed a grin so bright it could rival the sun.

but, then again, there is no rival for him when he is your sun.

ੈ✩₊˚TAGLIST : @hugs4shizu @mikctp @meiquipo @ibaraluvr @venusflwers @tokusaatsus // ask/comment to be added/removed! (if you’re in bold i can’t tag you)

[teaberrii]

Chapter Thirteen: The President’s Visit

You and Cyno can’t be more different. He’s Akademiya’s perfect student council president. You’re a labelled, cursed delinquent who changes into a cat for eight hours when kissed.

When Cyno gets a complaint about you, he’s forced to take action, only for it to lead to unexpected circumstances.

Cyno/You

Notes:

Cross-posted on Ao3

Chapter index at the end of chapter one

It doesn’t take long for you and Cyno to become the ‘it’ couple at school.

Though Cyno does not see it as newsworthy, Tighnari explains something is appealing about the “president dating the school’s delinquent” that makes it so exciting. But there is one good thing that came out of all the gossip. People aren’t as scared of you anymore, and you’re making more friends.

Cyno holds your hand as you walk toward your lockers. He's fully aware of the attention, but that only makes him squeeze your hand tighter.

Finally, you glance at him and say quietly, "It's been a few weeks. Why are they still staring?"

“Let them stare then.”

“You’re so unbothered it scares me sometimes.”

You stop in front of your locker, and as soon as you open it, you see a bouquet of fresh roses and a small card with ‘Catnip’ written in cursive on the front. Cyno hugs you from behind and whispers in your ear, “Happy birthday, Catnip.”

“... You really give the best surprises, prez," you say, taking out the card. Is it just him, or do you also sound a little… melancholy? Do you not like his surprise? But then you put your hand over his and turn around with a warm smile. “Thank you.”

Cyno touches your cheek and brushes his thumb over your cheekbone. “Only the best for my Catnip.”

You scoff and roll your eyes with a smile. “Let’s not enter the cheesy territory.”

“Happy birthday, Catnip!”

Candace and Tighnari run up to you and hug you simultaneously. Then, Tighnari reaches into his bag and holds out a small gift. “For you, my dear Catnip!”

“Thanks, Tighnari.” You take the present from him.

"I bet you'll like mine better," Candace says, holding out a bag taped with cute washi tape.

“Since when was this a competition?” Tighnari asks.

“Spoiler alert! It’s the shirt you wanted when we went shopping together.”

Your eyes widen. “Seriously? But that’s—”

“Designer? Yeah, but it’s your birthday, so enjoy it!”

That’s when Tighnari notices the roses in your locker. “Damn.” He looks at the card in your hands. “What did it say?”

“That’s private,” Cyno says.

Candace and Tignari glance at each other. “My dearest Catnip,” Tighnari begins in a dramatic voice as you and Cyno give him a deadpan look. “My love for you burns as bright and intense as a thousand suns where each moment we spend with each other makes me dizzy with love—”

“You’re making her nauseous.”

“Hey, I’m trying my best here,” Tighnari says to Candace. “What’s with that look?” Then, he turns to you. “Not your style, Catnip?”

"Uh, well, it depends on the delivery, I suppose," you smile. "But"—you look at Cyno—"I don't think that's really his style."

“Is she right, Cyno?” Tighnari asks, smiling.

“What do you think?” Cyno deadpans.

“Maybe it’s best we don’t know what it says. It's probably too cheesy for us to handle.”

Tighnari nudges her. “Are you sure you’re not just jealous, Candace? You wish someone would do that for you?”

Candace glares at him, and Tighnari quickly runs away when she tries to hit him. Cyno watches his friends run down the hall just as you put Tighnari and Candace’s gifts in your locker. Then, Cyno quickly turns to you when you take his hand.

"I thought you didn't want people staring," Cyno says.

You let go. “Fine.”

But Cyno swiftly takes it again, and he holds it tighter upon seeing your small, shy smile.

◆◆◆

You and Cyno meet at the rooftop for lunch that day. You have a feeling he prepared something for you when he told you not to bring lunch. When you open his homemade lunch, your eyes widen when you see rolls and rolls of sushi and riceballs cut in the shape of cats or shapes related to cats. Their expressions are made with different ingredients. Even the vegetables surrounding the food are cut in the shape of stars or hearts.

“Did you make this?”

“Is it that surprising?”

“I—well—this… how long did it take you to make this?”

A long time. But he's not going to let you know that. "Try one."

You pick up one in the shape of a paw and bite into it. Cyno watches your expression carefully and almost smiles when you do. “I really should hire you, prez.”

Cyno picks up a happy cat roll. “This one is what you look like when you smile.” Then, he picks up one that looks like a sleeping cat. “This one is when you fell asleep on my table .” Finally, he picks one that’s pouting and leans closer to you. “This one is you when I beat you on exams.”

You gently hit him, and he finally smiles.

You're sitting next to him when you hold one out to him. "It's not fair that I'm eating all of this myself."

Cyno looks from the sushi roll to you. “I hope you’re not saying that it’s bad.”

You frown. "Seriously, prez?" Then, you look down at the almost empty lunch box. "Would I have eaten all of it if I thought it was bad?" Cyno takes your hand holding the sushi roll, and takes a bite of his food. You pull your hand back. "That's all you're getting."

Cyno scoffs with a small smile. “I’m fine with that.”

After you and Cyno finish lunch, you stretch and look at the blue sky. "After exams, let's go out to eat." Are you asking him on a date? "I said I'd take you out after the rumour fiasco is over."

Ah. Right.

“We can talk about it after exams.”

“Can’t you humour me? I don’t want to think about exams,” you groan.

“Why not? Are you scared I’ll beat you… again?”

You scoff and lean closer. “Did you forget what I told you last time?”

"Oh, I remember. But, you haven't beat me."

“Yet,” you quickly add.

“How about a bet?”

“... Keep talking.”

"If I beat you,"—Cyno smiles—"let's go on a trip."

Your jaw almost drops. “That’s… are you crazy?”

Cyno raises a brow. “Did I say something wrong?”

“Just the two of us?” Your face is turning red. “That’s… That’s—”

“Did I say it would be just the two of us?” Cyno asks, leaning closer. He can almost see your cat ears popping out and swivelling sideways. “Or… is that what you want?”

“I… no… that’s… that’s what I want to avoid,” you say, looking away.

"I meant we can take a trip with the rest of the student council. It's something Tighnari has wanted to do for a while."

You nod. “That does sound fun.”

Cyno smirks. "We could book a room for us to make the trip more private."

“Don’t be getting any weird ideas,” you say quickly. Cyno leans back. “And if I beat you?”

“Which won’t happen.”

You frown. “You’ll be my personal chef for the rest of the year.”

“Does that mean I’ll have to live with you?” Cyno tilts his head with a small smile. “You’re okay with that?”

“... Why are you smiling?”

Because no matter who wins, they are all in his favour.

“No reason,” Cyno says.

You clear your throat and say, “So, it’s decided then.” You hold out your hand. “Do we have a deal?”

Cyno takes it and kisses it gently. Then, he looks at you, whose face is turning slightly red. "Deal."

◆◆◆

After you and Cyno's study session, you meet with Tighnari and Candace, and the four of you go to a newly opened café off campus. Cyno sits beside you in a booth while Candace and Tighnari sit on the other side.

"So, do you and Cyno have any plans to celebrate your birthday this weekend?" Candace asks.

“Not really,” you say. “Exams are coming up… we should be focusing on that.”

Cyno raises a brow at Tighnari. “Why do you look so happy?”

Tighnari looks at him. “Who? Me?”

“Who else?” Candace asks. “You have been acting a little strange today.”

Tighnari looks from Cyno to Candace and finally sighs. “Okay, fine! Just… promise me you have to pretend to be surprised.” Then, Tighnari takes a small breath. “Nilou is coming back.”

“What!” Candace almost spills her drink. “How come she told you and not us?”

“She wanted to keep it a secret!” Tighnari says. “To surprise you and Cyno.”

Candace rolls her eyes. "Oh, yeah, and you have a great record of keeping secrets."

“When?” Cyno asks.

“Right after exams are over,” Tighnari says, smiling. “All of us need to grab food together or something. It’s been way too long.”

“Um…” Everyone turns to you. “By Nilou… you don’t mean… the famous ballet dancer, right?”

“Yeah, that’s her!” Tighnari says. “The four of us grew up together.” Your jaw drops. Tighnari chuckles. “A lot of people said Nilou and Cyno looked good together back in the day.”

“Yeah, but that’s because they were popular,” Candace says. “When did you get in touch with her?”

“Oh! She was the one who contacted me first.”

Then, the rest falls on deaf ears as Cyno glances at you, who's at a loss for words.

◆◆◆

After the coffee date, Cyno drives you home when thunder rumbles in the distance. He glances at you. You've been quiet ever since leaving the coffee shop. Is something wrong? When Cyno stops at a red light, he takes your hand, and you flinch.

“What are you thinking about, Catnip?”

You slowly pull back your hand. “I’m… angry at you.”

Cyno immediately looks at you. “Why?”

You turn to him. “I can’t believe you never told me you were childhood friends with Nilou. I mean… she’s amazing!”

Cyno almost laughs. “Are you… her fan?”

“I know nothing about ballet, but I watched a performance or two. She’s really good.” You face the front. “How did you two meet?”

“She’s a family friend,” Cyno says. “We were already going to the same school, but we formally met because her mom is friends with mine.”

“Ah… Is that how she knows Tighnari and Candace?”

“Yeah. She recently transferred and wanted to make some friends.” The light turns green, and the car slowly rolls forward. “I could introduce you to her when she visits.”

“Really?”

Cyno isn’t sure if he’s overthinking, but you don’t sound as excited as he thought you would. Regardless, he says, “Of course.”

Just as Cyno pulls up to your house, it starts pouring.

You turn to him. "If you aren't in a rush to get home, why don't you come in for a bit? Or is Nahida waiting for you?"

“Her parents are back this week, so she’s spending time with them.”

When a sudden knock comes from outside his car, Cyno rolls down the window and sees one of the goons who attacked him standing outside with an umbrella. "Ojou! Welcome home!" Then, he looks at Cyno. "Hey, kid, are you coming in, too?"

So, that’s how Cyno ends up at your house for dinner.

Cyno doesn't need to grab food as the two goons keep filling his plate with their recommendations. "Do you like spicy, kid? You have to try this!"

“He can grab food for himself,” you say, slapping their hand away from Cyno’s plate.

"I heard about what happened on the school trip," your grandmother says, looking at Cyno. "... Thank you for taking care of my granddaughter."

“She was no trouble.”

Your grandmother chuckles. “Oh, I beg to differ.”

You frown. “Hey. I’m right here, you know.”

Suddenly, one of the goons looks Cyno square in the eyes and says, “Is it true that you’re in a relationship with Ojou?”

Cyno glances at you. “That’s—”

“We had no choice at the time,” you say. You meet his eyes and look back at your subordinate. “We’re not… actually dating.”

“Onee-chan, your face is turning red.”

You almost choke on your food just as the sound of rain comes down even harder. Your grandmother looks outside and says, "It's really coming down…." Then, she looks at Cyno. "It would be dangerous to drive in these conditions. Why don't you stay at our house tonight?"

“What?”

Your grandmother looks at the two goons. “What? Did I say something wrong?”

“... Are you sure?” Cyno asks. “I don’t want to be a bother.”

“You aren’t, child,” your grandmother says. “Unless you aren’t comfortable.”

“It would be nice if you could stay.” Everyone turns to you, and you stare back. “... What?”

"I thought you said you weren't dating," Jebrael says.

“... We aren’t.”

“Then, I wonder why you would like him to stay,” your grandmother says with a small smile.

"Because we're friends!"

The young boy smiles widely. “Onee-chan is blushing again!”

“If it’s really not a bother, then”—Cyno looks from you to your grandmother—“thank you for your hospitality.”

After dinner, Cyno follows you until you stop in front of a door. "You can use this room," you say, sliding it open to reveal a spacious room with a futon. You nod down the hall. "My room is the one at the end"—you nod in the other direction—"Jebrael's at the other end." You turn back to him. "I'll grab you some clothes. But, for now, any questions?"

“No, Professor Catnip.”

“Hilarious,” you say with a small smile.

After Cyno finishes his shower, he's walking back to his room when he hears screams and laughter from your room. The door is open, so he looks inside when he walks by. You and Jebrael's son are playfully wrestling on the floor. Eventually, you land on your stomach with him sitting on top of you.

“You’re getting better at this,” you say, looking over your shoulder.

That’s when you see Cyno.

"Onii-chan! You should come to play, too!"

You laugh. “How about it, prez?”

“I won’t go easy on you,” Cyno says, stepping into the room.

You and Cyno spend some time playing with Jebrael's son. Cyno even teaches him some moves he knows. You help him demonstrate, though you're not always cooperative. Cyno shouldn't be too surprised you know how to fight so well. But you never cease to amaze him. Eventually, he resorts to tickling you to catch you off guard, making you grab his hands.

“Not fair, prez,” you laugh.

You're quick to tickle him back, but Cyno is faster. He grabs your hands but lets them go and picks you up. He spins you around as your arms naturally go around him.

“Me next, me next!” the boy says excitedly.

Just as Cyno puts you down, Jebrael walks in.

Cyno is aware that his arms are still around you; without context, it might've looked a little questionable. So, he quickly lets you go.

“We were playing,” the young boy says with a grin.

“Were you now?” Jebrael asks, crossing his arms. He crouches and opens his arms, and his son runs up to him. “Time for bed, kid.” Then, the man looks at you and Cyno and walks away.

“Where did you learn how to fight?” you ask, sitting in the heated futon. You pat the seat beside you.

Cyno chuckles. “Isn’t it past bedtime, Catnip?”

“I guess you’re getting old,” you joke. “Can’t stay up late anymore?”

Cyno sits next to you. “My father taught me when I was young."

“Did you want to learn just because…?”

A young Cyno was walking home from school when he turned the corner and saw two older kids from his school. As soon as they saw him, they smirked and stood. Cyno quickly turned around and saw another kid blocking his path.

“Heading home, Cyno?”

Cyno glared at them. “What do you want?”

“We just want to be friends.”

Cyno felt his back hit a telephone pole as the kids surrounded him. His palms became sweaty, and he tried making a run for it, but one of the kids grabbed his backpack and pulled him to the ground. Before Cyno could get up, someone stepped on his hand. Hard. Cyno screamed in pain and clenched his fists. Before they could punch him, Cyno kicked them in the stomach.

“I had no idea what I was doing,” Cyno says. “Since then, I wanted to learn.”

“Did you ever get back at them?”

“I did.”

“You… don’t sound happy,” you say.

"I only fought back when they would pick on me. But… it's when the adults got involved that the situation got anywhere."

A well-dressed woman with cat-like eyes stood in front of three other women in a large office. “I understand that your children have been causing my son trouble.”

“Well, it’s your son who provoked them first.”

Cyno glared at them. "Do you have proof?" Then, he scoffed. " Maybe they turned out to be such scumbags because of bad parenting."

“What a rude child!”

Cyno's mother stepped in front of him just as one woman approached him. "Lay a hand on my son, and I'll report you." Then, she looked at the principal. "They are the ones who came after my son without reason. I want them expelled."

When Cyno opened the classroom doors the following day, he was met with many stares.

“Is that him?” he heard one classmate whisper as he walked to his desk.

“Is his family rich?”

“What a mama’s boy.”

“Shh! You’ll get expelled if he hears you.”

Cyno sat down. he never felt so alone until…

Two people moved their desks to connect with his. “Is it true your mother got rid of those a-holes?” the boy asked.

The girl hit his back. “There’s a better way to ask things, Tighnari.”

Tighnari frowned. “You didn’t have to hit me, Candace! Besides, I was just getting straight to the point.”

“Is that how the three of you became friends?” you ask.

“We already knew each other,” Cyno says. “But, it’s after that we actually started talking.”

You look at him curiously. “Are you not happy because those students didn’t get what they deserved?”

"It was frustrating enough that I couldn't do anything on my own," Cyno says. "The most I could do was defend myself. But it was more frustrating that no one else did anything even when I said something." You nod in understanding. "Nothing would have changed if my mother didn't get involved."

“This might be a stretch… but Is that why you ran for student council president?”

“Are you going to tease me, Catnip?”

“Do you think that badly of me, prez?” you deadpan.

“Tighnari and Candace encouraged me,” Cyno says. “I did want to run, but they were the ones who gave me that extra push.”

You smile. "Aw, that's so sweet. You shouldn't be calling yourselves the Losers club, then."

“There were a lot of ups and downs... more downs, especially in the beginning.”

“Ah… is it because of the pressure?”

“Even though we got elected, there were still a lot of people who thought we weren’t competent,” Cyno says. “That name was mostly used as motivation, something we wanted to grow out of.”

“Well, I’d say you guys grew out of it. All I’ve heard are good things about the student council.”

Cyno looks at you out of the corner of his eye. “What about you, Catnip?”

“What about me?”

“What grade would you give me for my performance as president?”

You scoff with a small smile. “Hm… I need to think about that.” Cyno grabs a small cushion and gently tosses it in your direction. You catch it and say, “I think I’d give an A+... but”—you hit him with the cushion—“don’t get cocky.”

Cyno grabs it and pulls it toward him so your face is close to his. "What about as a boyfriend?"

“Why do you care about that?” you ask quietly.

“Just curious.”

You quickly sit down, and Cyno puts the cushion aside. “Around the same, I guess."

“You’re being awfully vague, Catnip. Don’t tell me it’s because you don’t want to hurt my feelings.” You reach for the cushion again, but Cyno takes your hand. “Can I do better?”

“I already said it’s around the same,” you say. “What… what more do you want me to say?”

Cyno leans closer, so his lips are right beside your ear. "Tell me the things you'd like me to do."

A pause.

Then, you put your hands on his shoulder. “There’s too many,” you say quietly. Wait a minute. Are you flirting back? “You wouldn’t be able to deliver on all your promises.”

Cyno’s lips brush against your neck, and you gasp softly. “Try me.”

You quickly pull back; your face is bright red as you look away. “It’s getting late.”

"Are you sure you're not the one who can't stay up late anymore, Catnip?" Cyno chuckles. "Unless there's another reason why you want me to leave."

“You’re… overthinking,” you say, standing. Then, you walk out the door, but it doesn’t take you long to return. “This is my room.”

Cyno scoffs with a smile and stands. He stops in front of you and gently pinches your cheek. “Goodnight, Catnip.”

“I hope you have bad dreams."

"Rude." You playfully stick your tongue at him, and he puts his forehead against yours. "See you tomorrow morning."

You quickly enter your room and close the door. So, apparently, he's doing well as your 'boyfriend.' But Cyno never stops just because he gets good feedback. He always wants to be better.

Chapter Fourteen

Tag list: @lxry-chxn @lordbugs @suoshiii @seirenspinel @iwishitwas @sketcheeee @bennytheghost @ch0c0shortiie @riylvx

[lonepower]

@curlyparmesan replied to your post “hi! guess who's alive! this is just the page from...”:

You made that?? It's so good!! I know nothing about Hollow Knight but it looks so pretty.

​BWEH THANK U 😭-

but also oh man okay now i have to yell because this game. it's like. ok. so the game is about this little bug

(absolute creature. unauthorized fucking thing.) known variably as "the knight", the "little ghost", "pale thing", "small friend"- the point is they don't really have a name, or an identity, or any memories, or any personality, or anything. (spoiler alert: they have all of these.)

the game starts with you entering "Hallownest," a deteriorating subterranean kingdom of bugs that has been slowly rotting for an unknown amount of time as a mysterious infection consumes it from within. the king is missing; the queen has barricaded herself into her home out of an unspecified grief; all but a handful of citizens are dead; and nobody wants to sleep, because if you do the infection will come to take over your dreams and drive you mad. and dying doesn't free you from this because it just fills you with goo and puppets your corpse around! fun.

so your job as this little creature is to find out what's causing the dreaming sickness and put a stop to it.

there is a way you are supposed to put a stop to it. this is the easiest, worst, and most horrifying ending.

describing the story any further would delve into spoilers that are absolutely more fun to discover (and going lore-hunting is at least half the fun of the game - make sure to explore everywhere), but like. these little 16 pixels will RIP your HEART from your BODY. they will cause AGONIES. you'll be on the floor crying about bugs and you WILL like it.

as far as gameplay goes, it's a 2D sidescroller/metroidvania style, which put me off it for a long time because i haaaaaaaaaate metroidvanias. i actually started it, got past the first boss (which is a testament to how good it is in and of itself, because usually i get to the first enemy and am just like "nah"), went "oh right I hate metroidvanias," and gave up. and then about three days later i was like, "...but I want to know what happens next." as it turns out, it's actually highly moddable, so I stuck god mode on and played through the entire thing three times in about a month. I've actually weaned myself off of it for a couple of encounters, which is even more impressive! Troupe Master Grimm also headlines my very very very short list of "bosses I not only tolerate, but actively enjoy" (alongside essej from control + tom and hel from ghostrunner. that's the entire list.) combat is... still hard, but can be rewarding - it's mostly timing-based and there's a parry mechanic whose window is so fucking microscopic but actually managing it is really satisfying.

(also, like-

-i can't even go into details because it's BIIIG spoilers but like. the way two of the characters parry. like their stances and stuff. i'm screaming and wailing and tearing out my hair over the Implications of that-)

and the MUSIC too. the THEMES and MOTIFS. the way certain characters' leitmotifs creep into different areas or into other characters' themes... POETIC CINEMA. i could, have, and will continue to listen to the main theme, dirtmouth bgm, and city of tears bgm on repeat for hours. (also bonus favorite boss theme. the fact that this man is not a Tumblr Sexyman(tm) continues to boggle me-)

another thing I really like is that you're not the only adventurer in the world. there's not really a companion mechanic (though there are some upgrades that will give you little minions, and you can kill a clown and he'll give you his son as a reward), but there's a couple of other characters you can encounter periodically across the game who are on their own quests, which depending on your actions you can help bring to fruition or not. it just feels like the kind of thing you don't see very often? but this kingdom is known in-universe to draw adventurers, and there... actually are other adventurers. idk. it's neat.

anyway. play hollow knight. it will hurt you but you won't regret it.