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#she was my cat too but we first got her for aaron's birthday and she's been his baby the whole time
t00thpasteface · 22 hours
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cheers to 18 years, miffy. you survived hurricanes, poverty, week-long power outages in both heat waves and freezes, and lots and lots of petsitting. you outlived your own sister and two other cats, and outlasted all of my mom's relationships she's had since her divorce. i'm so damn proud of you for making it to tax-paying, home-owning age, even though you were a bitter old mooch ever since you were a kitten. i'll always remember your love of milk, tuna water, and chef boyardee tomato sauce, your withering gaze of pure contempt, and that one time you stole a fresh meatball off the kitchen counter just to bring it upstairs to my bedroom door.
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sequinsmile-x · 1 year
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Everywhere, Everything
Ever since they started trying for a baby she’d felt this pressure that it had to work. That sex was no longer one of the things they did to express how much they loved each other, but it had a functional purpose too. One that so far, didn’t seem to be working. 
AKA - The one where Aaron overhears Emily talk about her concerns about their sex life as they are trying to conceive, and he assures her they have nothing to worry about.
-x-
Hi friends!!
This is a very so slightly early birthday present for the lovely @cloudlessly-light!! It's her birthday tomorrow, and it seemed fitting that I'd write her some filth to mark the occasion.
Thank you for being my friend, for putting up with the constant snippets of fics and photos of my cat, and for generally just being such a lovely amazing person <3 Love you very much!
I hope you enjoy this, I purposely attempted to make it my filthiest fic yet (but with the classic Vic twist of all the feelings)
-x-
Words: 4.7k (we all know I can't control myself)
Warnings: Smut, 18+, pregnancy, discussion around trying to conceive
Read over on Ao3, or below the cut
It was starting to get to her. 
She and Aaron were trying for a baby. It was something they’d spoken about for a little while, both of them aware it was something they wanted and something they didn’t have a whole lot of time to make happen. Emily could practically hear her biological clock ticking, every negative test and arrival of her period making the sound louder, reverberating around her head in a way she was struggling to ignore. 
Before she’d allowed herself to get her hopes up she’d spoken to her doctor, Aaron’s hand wrapped tightly around hers as she went through a barrage of tests, to find out if she could have children. If the damage Ian had left behind had impacted her ability to conceive or carry a child, a thought that in her worst moments would make her chuckle darkly, the heavy irony of it not lost on her as it sat on her chest. 
The doctor had assured her that everything looked good, that there was no physical reason why she couldn’t get pregnant, and she let hope take over. She let herself start to imagine it, a little boy or girl who was half her and half Aaron, doomed to be the most stubborn person to ever walk the planet. 
She threw away her contraceptive pills two weeks before they got married. She gets carried away with fairytale thoughts of falling pregnant on her honeymoon, of coming home with more than they’d left with. 
She hadn’t been that lucky. 
It had only been four months since their wedding, and she knew she was being hard on herself, that in the grand scheme of things it really hadn’t been that long, but she could feel the hope start to fade. Sadness starting to creep its way in when she took a test only for it to be negative, her period only ever a few hours behind her making the decision to pee on a stick as if her body was mocking her. 
She’d fallen pregnant the first time she’d ever had sex. A quick fumble with a boy who later blamed her for it all, leaving the decision he’d got to walk away from solely on her 15-year-old shoulders. It felt wrong, almost cruel, that the same wasn’t true now. That it was proving more difficult now she was married to the love of her life, now this was something she could want and have.
She blows out a steady breath and pours herself a glass of wine, rolling her neck slightly as she places the bottle back in Dave’s fridge, mentally preparing herself to slap a smile back on her face and rejoin the merriment in the next room. Pasta nights had become a staple in their lives, something that the team had as often as they could. Usually, she was grateful for it, for the distraction, but right now all she wanted to do was wallow in her misery. 
“Em?” 
She turns to see JJ walking towards her, an empty glass in her hand, “Sorry,” she says, pulling the bottle back out of the fridge, “I should have asked if you wanted something.”
JJ shakes her head and hands her the glass, “No need to apologise,” she says, and Emily can feel her staring at her. She turns and smiles at her friend as she passes her back the now full wine glass, “I thought you were off alcohol.” 
Emily smiles tightly at the tone of her friend's voice, the gentle push to it. She knows JJ would accept any answer, that she’d let her wave it off if she wanted to, but she finds herself sighing, her hip against the counter as she takes a sip of her wine.
“I am, mostly,” she says, her smile turning sad, “No need to be for the next few days though,” she shrugs, “I’m definitely not pregnant, so I thought I’d indulge myself.” 
It was slowly becoming a custom of hers, a glass of wine or scotch when she got her period. The rest of the time she avoided drinking, a measure she took just in case. 
“Oh, Em-”
“It’s fine,” she says, waving off the sympathy she doesn’t want to hear, sure it will somehow mean there was something that was wrong, “I know it hasn’t even been that long. My OBGYN said it could take a while. I just…” she shakes her head at herself and clears her throat, “I just want it so much.” 
JJ nods and places her hand on Emily’s arm and squeezes gently, “Have you spoken to Hotch about this?”
Emily sighs, “Yes and no,” she says, blowing out a breath as she thinks of how he’d hugged her tightly in their bathroom just a few days ago when her period started, his lips against her forehead as he told her it would be okay, “It just feels like so much pressure. Sex is already starting to feel a little…regimented. Like there is no spontaneity.” 
Their sex life had always been healthy. They never seemed to tire of each other, and their need for each other hadn’t faded as they moved from a new couple to a long-term relationship to husband and wife. If anything, as time went on she found she wanted him more, something she knew was reciprocated. Something about their life together, about the way they loved each other, making the sex even better than it had ever been. 
Ever since they started trying for a baby she’d felt this pressure that it had to work. That sex was no longer one of the things they did to express how much they loved each other, but it had a functional purpose too. One that so far, didn’t seem to be working. 
She’s pulled out of her thoughts by a crashing sound that sounds like it’s coming from the living room, and she shakes her head, smiling briefly at the thought of Derek and Spencer once again breaking some of Dave’s belongings. 
“Don’t get me wrong,” Emily says, taking another sip of her wine, “It’s still incredible, Aaron has never…” She smiles as she clears her throat, well aware her husband wouldn’t thank her for divulging too much, “Let’s just say he’s never let me down.” 
JJ raises an eyebrow, “Never?” 
Emily smiles, “Never,” she confirms, and her smile slips slightly as she shrugs, “I think I just miss how it was before we were doing it on specific days because a stick I peed on tells me it’s the best day to try.” 
JJ squeezes her arm again and smiles reassuringly, “You’ll get there, Em.” 
Emily nods, wishing she could share in her friend's optimism, “Yeah. We’ll get there.”
___
Aaron was worried about his wife. 
He’d watched as she got increasingly disappointed over the last few months. He’d felt her hugs get tighter, more desperate when he’d try to comfort her as she threw a negative pregnancy test into the trash. 
The most recent time had only been a few days ago, and he could still see the tension in her shoulders. He’d tried to get them out of going to Dave’s, offering to make it his fault they weren’t going so she wouldn’t have to explain anything, but she’d shaken him off. Insistent that it was easier to go along and pretend everything was okay.
He’d offered to get her drink for her once she’d finished her wine, but she’d smiled at him and said she was fine and she went herself. Her hand briefly squeezing his before she let go. He watches the time and he starts to worry when she’s gone for longer than expected. He makes his excuses as he leaves the room, desperate to seek her out. To provide whatever comfort he can.
As he gets closer to the kitchen he hears his wife's voice, the way she sighs as she speaks.  “I know it hasn’t even been that long. My OBGYN said it could take a while. I just…I just want it so much.” 
He comes to a stop, frozen in place by how sad she sounds. He knows she’s been struggling more than she would admit. Her disappointment internalised, pointed inwards as if she had done something wrong, a thought he couldn’t seem to free her from no matter how much he tried. 
“Have you spoken to Hotch about this?” JJ asks, and he suddenly feels bad for listening, but finds himself unable to move, wanting desperately to know what Emily was going to say so he could help. 
Emily sighs, “Yes and no. It just feels like so much pressure. Sex is already starting to feel a little…regimented. Like there is no spontaneity.” 
It feels like a punch to the gut, guilt he wasn’t expecting almost knocking him breathless as he takes a step backwards, almost knocking a framed photo from the wall. The sound of it hitting the wall as he rescues it spurs him into action, his body finally moving as he walks away to give his wife and their friend some privacy. 
As he walks back to the living room he starts to formulate a plan in his head. He might not be able to fix it all for her, but he could certainly make some things better.
And he’d start with date night. 
___
Emily lets out a slow breath as she walks into her house, tension seeping out of her shoulders the moment she’s over the threshold. The peace she found here, the first place that had ever felt like home, unmatched.
She shrugs off her coat and kicks off her shoes. She yawns and rolls her shoulders as she does so it’s only when she hears the familiar click in her joint, how loud it echoes around her, she realises how quiet the house is. It was unusual, the halls usually filled with Jack’s laughter or his favourite TV show. She frowns, she knew Aaron was home because he’d seen his car in the driveway. She steps further into the house and calls out. 
“Aaron, honey?” 
“In the dining room.” 
She smiles as she follows his voice, “Where’s Jack, it’s so…” She drifts off as she walks into the dining room, her words stolen as she looks at the set-up in the dining room.
The table was set for dinner for two, the smell of her favourite meal in the air. There were candles in the middle, and a vase with a bunch of wildflowers, the lights in the room dimmed so the candles flickered across the walls. She smiles as she looks at her husband, dressed casually in a polo shirt and a pair of jeans, a far cry from the suit she’d seen him in just a couple of hours ago. 
“What’s all this?” She asks as she walks over to him, her hands skimming his waist as she wraps her arms around him. He smiles softly as he stamps a kiss on her lips. 
“Date night,” he answers as if it was obvious, pulling her close. He runs his hands up and down her back, “Jack is with Jessica for the night,” he says, kissing her cheek and then her lips again, “It’s just us.” 
She smiles and leans in closer, soaking up the warmth and comfort only he could provide, “You know,” she says softly, biting the inside of her cheek, “I’m your wife now, you don’t have to try to impress me anymore.” 
He frowns, furrowing his brows at her, “Of course I do,” he says, kissing her once more before he leads her to her chair, pulling it back for her so she can sit down at the space he’d set. He kisses her shoulder before he stands up straight, “I’ll never stop dating you.” 
She shakes her head at him as he sits down and narrows her eyes, “I’m assuming all of this is why JJ insisted I went for coffee for her after work?”
Aaron nods, “I may have asked for her help.” 
She hums before she leans in to kiss his cheek, “You’re sweet.” 
They sit and enjoy their dinner, talking about anything and everything as they eat. She feels the tension that had been building in her chest ease a little, the pressure she was putting on herself lifting as she simply spent some time with her husband. Eventually, once their food has settled down and the candles have almost burnt out, he reaches for her hand and guides her to stand. He kisses her, stealing the breath from her lungs and she sighs, burying her hand in his hair, scratching at his scalp as she holds him close. He smiles as he breaks the kiss, pulling away just enough that he can link his fingers through hers, gently tugging to guide her away from the dining room table. 
“Wait,” she says gently, coming to a stop, “The dishes.”
He cups her cheek and kisses her again, “I’ll do them later.” 
He leans down and blows out the candles before he leads her out of the room. He’s insistent as they make it up the stairs, his hands on her hips and his lips on her neck, nipping and licking at her skin, drawing out moans she couldn’t control if she wanted to. 
As soon as they are in their bedroom he turns her, his lips against hers as he leads her to their bed. She sighs as he lowers her onto the bed, his weight against her all too briefly before he pulls away, putting space between them as he unbuttons her pants, tugging them down her legs, taking them and her socks off all at once. She pushes herself up on the bed, resting on her elbows as she looks at him, her teeth sinking into her lower lip as he kneels on the floor at the end of the bed. 
He presses a kiss to one of her ankles, groaning at the softness of her skin against his lips, something he still wasn’t used to after all this time. He works his way up her leg, pressing kisses to her skin as he goes, maintaining eye contact with her, watching as her breath catches in her chest as he reaches her thigh. He kisses a bruise he’d left days ago, licking against his fingerprints, proof that she belonged to him. 
She fists her hands in the sheets beneath her as he licks her through her underwear, groaning at the taste of her through the cotton barrier. 
“So good, sweetheart,” he mutters as he pulls away, leaning back in for a moment to breathe her in, wanting nothing more than to get lost in the feel of her, “So fucking good.” 
She lifts her hips as he pulls her underwear down her legs and she takes the chance to pull off her shirt and bra, unceremoniously throwing them somewhere into the corner of the room. She squeals, something she would deny later, when he pulls her further down the bed by her ankles, settling her legs over his shoulders as he knelt back down on the floor. 
He ignores the ache in his knees, the pain he knows he’ll feel tomorrow, because he just wants his. Her. A moment between the two of them that was about nothing other than them. 
They let out simultaneous moans as he licks through her, tasting her directly from the source as he dips his tongue into her. She rolls her hips at his face, her eyes flickering closed as everything except him and the way he was making her feel disappears. She lets him build her up, none of her usual impatience anywhere to be found. He pulls her apart with his tongue and his fingers like he’d written the manual for her body, something he’d been able to do since the very first night they’d spent together. 
She didn’t believe in soulmates, the thought that there was just one person out there for everyone ridiculous, but if she did, she knew he’d be hers. In the moments when she let herself get carried away by it all, by the way he made her feel, she thinks this was what everything in her life had been leading to. Every bump in the road, every crack she’d fallen down and had to climb back out of had been part of her journey to this. To him. To the life they had together. 
He presses his hand onto her lower belly, keeping her hips in place, as she comes. She moans as it washes over her, her entire body on fire as she tips over the edge. For a moment, she loses her ability to think and when she opens her eyes he’s looking at her, unadulterated affection in his eyes. 
“What?” She asks, her voice breathless, and he smiles as he gently lowers her legs down off of his shoulders, her calves shaking as her feet hit the floor. 
“Nothing,” he says, leaning forward to kiss her, pressing the taste of herself onto her lips, “You’re beautiful.”
She smiles, chasing his kiss before she reaches for his belt buckle, but he stands back, putting space between them as he quickly undresses himself, “What?” 
He smiles as she repeats herself, seemingly only capable of one word at the moment, and he steps out of his pants and throws his polo shirt over his shoulder. 
“Tonight,” he says as he encourages her further up the bed, laying on top of her as she widens her legs, letting him settle between her thighs as he kisses up her chest, “Is all about you.”
She doesn’t have a chance to argue with him, to ask what he means, because he steals the breath from her again as he licks over her already hardened nipple, laving at it until she’s sore, squirming beneath him as he switches his attention to her other breast. 
“Aaron,” she mutters, hooking a leg around him, her heel against his ass as she tries to encourage him to stop teasing her, “Please.” 
He smirks against her skin, licking the sweat from her collarbone before he carries on moving upwards, switching between kissing and gently biting her throat and then jaw. When he kisses her, his lips stamped against hers, it’s softer than she’s expecting. She cups the back of his hand and holds him in place, rolling her hips up against his, making them both moan as he notches against her. 
She reaches between them with her spare hand, smirking into their kiss when he groans as she pumps him up and down a couple of times before she guides him into her. They both moan at the familiar stretch, pressing their foreheads together as his hips meet hers, their skin slapping together in the otherwise quiet room.
“Sweetheart,” he mutters, his breath skipping across her skin, “You feel so good,” he says, kissing every part of her he can reach. Her nose, her cheek, her lips, “So good and all mine.”
“All yours,” she says, rolling her hips against him again, a silent request for him to move, something he does immediately, “All yours.”
She knows that no matter how many times they do this, it is still as amazing as the first time, if not more incredible. It was familiar but not in a way that was boring, but in a way that felt like coming home at the end of a long day. A comfort she can’t believe she ever lived without. 
Something she didn’t want to lose, ever. No matter where life takes them. 
They match each other’s rhythm, their hands linked on the bed next to her head, their foreheads pressed together as they look at each other. As connected as two people could ever be, physically and emotionally. He feels her tighten around him, her thighs twitching at his hips, and he reaches between them to circle her clit, wanting nothing more than to make her feel good. 
She comes, her vision going dark as she tips over the edge, and she pulls him in for a kiss. She smiles against his lips as she feels his hips jerk against her, and she encourages him to move off of her, shifting onto shaky arms and legs as she flips over, looking at him over her shoulder, her smile turning into a smirk. 
He kneels behind her, the sight of her like this, ready and waiting in front of him, enough to make him lose his mind. He leans down and licks through her from behind, smiling when she gasps in surprise, looking at him again with a look in her eyes that he could only call feral. He rests his hands on her hips and pushes into her again, groaning at the feeling of her around him, at the way she immediately clenches. 
She moans loudly, her body sensitive but desperate for more as she pushes back, desperate for the stretch of him that feels impossibly bigger from this angle. She lets him set the pace, harder than it had been already that evening, and she moans, never having really had the chance to recover from her previous orgasms. 
He pulls her upright, his arms around her middle as he holds her in place, thrusting up into her in a way that steals the breath from her lungs. She lets out a strangled noise, turning her head to bury her face in his neck, unable to do anything other than roll her hips against his, gasping with every thrust he pushed up into her, carving a space inside of her only he’d ever been able to reach. 
“Aaron,” she says, his name catching in her throat, “I…”
“Are you going to come again for me?” He asks, his voice rough, an indication he is close too. Her only answer is a nod, her forehead pressing into his cheek, and he reaches for her clit, careful as he gently rubs circles on her swollen skin. 
“Fuck,” she moans, her hips stuttering as she rushes towards the edge again, every nerve ending in her body on fire. 
He tips over the edge with her this time, spilling deep inside of her as they both come, the only sound left in the room their heavy breathing. He places his hand on her cheek, his fingers slippery with her and pulls her into a kiss. 
“I love you,” she says, her lips barely away from his, her words skipping over his skin.
“I love you too,” he replies, kissing her once more before he encourages her to sit up just enough that he can slip out from under her. He kisses her forehead as he stands, “I’ll be right back.” 
She nods as she flops back onto the bed, still trying to catch her breath as she looks up at the ceiling. She smiles at him when he walks back into the bedroom with a towel, cleaning them both up before he disposes of it in the hamper in the corner of the room and joins her on the bed, shifting them both to the top so he can pull the covers over them. 
She curls into his side, resting her head on his chest as he pulls her as close as possible. She reaches for his hand and links their fingers together, smiling at the sight of his ring on his finger, memories of the day she’d slipped it on flooding back. She bites her lip as she thinks of the promises they’d made each other that day, of the excited undertones to everything they said as they both thought of the future they were planning. 
She sighs as she tilts her head to look up at him, “Did JJ say something to you?” She asks, making sure her voice is even so he knows she’s not mad, “Is that why you planned tonight?” 
He smiles down at her and runs his hand up and down her back, “No,” he says, kissing her forehead, “No I…I overheard you talking to her at Dave’s a couple of weeks ago,” he admits, smiling tightly at her, “I didn’t mean to, but I did and I heard you say you missed the spontaneity, so I wanted to give you some.” 
She smiles, unable to hold it back as she sits up just enough to rest her arms on his chest, “Wait a minute, you overheard me saying I missed the spontaneous side of our sex life, so you spent two weeks meticulously planning a date night right down to the detail of having my best friend distract me whilst you set it up?” 
He frowns, his cheeks burning with embarrassment at the amused look on her face, “Well,” he clears his throat, “When you put it like that-”
She cuts him off with a kiss, her lips firm against his before she pulls back, “I love you so much. You’re…” she trails off as she shakes her head, lost for words, “You’re the best man I’ve ever met.” 
“I love you,” he says, pushing her hair from her face and tucking it behind her ear, “And that isn’t dependant on anything. It’s unconditional. I’ll love you no matter what.” 
She hears what he hasn’t said. That he’d love her if they had a dozen children or if it was just them and Jack for the rest of their lives. She hadn’t realised how much she’d needed the reassurance, the doubt and everything else had that slowly crept in over the last few months never too far away. 
She doesn’t want to lose this moment to it, to let it be marred, so she smiles and nods, resting her head back on his shoulder. 
“Right back at you.” 
___
9 Months Later 
It was starting to get to her. 
She groans as she tries to get comfortable but gives up almost immediately, well aware it is a lost cause. 
“Your days in there are numbered, sweet girl,” she grumbles, rubbing her hand over her bump, her skin stretched almost to its limit over her daughter, “Consider this your eviction notice.” 
She smiles as she feels a kick that almost feels like a response, the sass their little girl had seemed to have from the very start, something Aaron said she’d inherited from her, making itself known. There were still moments, no matter how massive and uncomfortable she felt, when she still couldn’t believe that this was real, that she was days away from having a baby. The baby she’d half convinced herself she’d never have. 
Emily smiles as she hears the front door open quickly followed by her husband's voice, “Sweetheart?” 
“In the living room,” she calls back, “Right where I was when you left this morning.” 
He laughs and walks to the living room, his smile only getting wider when he sees her on the couch, one of his old shirts stretched over her belly, “There are my girls.” 
Emily hums as he kisses the top of her head before sitting next to her, his arm immediately around her, “How was work?” 
“It was fine,” he replies, placing his hand on her bump, “The team miss you. How are you?” 
She groans as she rests her head on his shoulder, “The usual mat leave crap. Heartburn, swollen ankles, tears and the odd practice contraction.” 
He kisses the side of her head again, “You won’t believe the number of routes I have planned to get us to the hospital when you go into labour. I have every eventuality planned for.” 
She can’t help but smile, a joke that had formed between them months ago on the night she’s sure they conceived their daughter already on the tip of her tongue. 
“What, you’re not going to be spontaneous? That’s so unlike you.” 
He sighs and shakes his head at her, the glint in his eyes letting her know he was suppressing a smile, “You’re never going to let that go are you?” 
She chuckles, “Absolutely not.” 
“You’re lucky I love you.” 
She leans in and kisses him, her hand on his cheek as she pulls away, “I really am.” 
-x-
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babymetaldoll · 3 years
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DIWK - Chapter one: "Yes, I'm a genius"
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Word count: 10,5 K
Warnings: Cursing, but it's mostly a fluffy nerdy start to our story.  Mentions of the L.D.S.K episode (Season 1, E06) and A real Rain (Season 1, E17).
Summary: Spencer meets the BAU new member, a young S.S.A. who happens to be just as nerdy as he is. (Y/N) is excited to join her dream job finally, but she is decided to create an imaginary barrier between her personal life and her job 'cos she doesn't want to make the same mistakes her father had done.
A/N: It's happening!!! I'm so excited!! I'm sorry it's gonna be long, so I hope you enjoy the ride 💕. Let me know what you think!  
Series Masterlist
Chapter one | Chapter two | Chapter three | Chapter four | Chapter five | Chapter six | Chapter seven | Chapter eight | Chapter nine | Chapter ten | Chapter eleven | Chapter twelve | Chapter thirteen | Chapter fourteen | Chapter fifteen | 
     ┅┅┅┅┅┅┅༻❁༺┅┅┅┅┅┅┅
Spencer's point of view
I remember everything that happened the day (Y/N) first arrived at the BAU. It was Monday, November 7th, 2005. Morgan had teased me for a whole week already, as soon as Hotch told us a new member of the team had been selected.
I first saw her when she had her last interview with Aaron and Gideon. My eyes were glued to her from the moment she stepped into the bullpen, and of course, Derek saw me.
- "What caught your eye, kid?"- he asked, walking to my desk. He sat on it and cut me one of his smirks, telling me he knew something was going on. I cleared my throat, trying to turn to my pile of paperwork, going through the papers, and narrowing my eyes, pretending to read.
- "What?"- I know I couldn't fool him, but at least I tried.
- "Do you know her?"
- "Who?"- Morgan looked at me in silence. He knew I knew what he was talking about- "The... no, Hotch is talking with someone..."
I was completely flustered.
- "That I can see, do you know her?"
- "No..."- I whispered and looked over again, this time staring at the scene inside the office, trying to figure out what they were talking about.
I could see (Y/N) smiling at Hotch, and he... smiled back, which still surprises me. Our Unit Chief never smiles in the office, and somehow, (Y/N) always manages to make him grin and express tenderness. I guess that's one of the things about her I love, the way she always manages- somehow, I still don't know how- to make everybody around her happy. Especially me. I had never been as happy as I've been since I met her.
- "Hey, Hotch!"- Morgan waited until she was into the elevator to call Aaron and start asking questions- Who is she?
- "That's Supervisory Special Agent (Y/F/N) (Y/S/N) (Y/L/N), and she is going to be part of the team, starting next week."
My heart stopped. (Y/N) was gonna work with me. I was never going to have another intelligible thought or idea if she was going to be around. Of that, I was sure.
Derek turned to me with a grimace of taunt as I tried my best to look away and hide my red blushed cheeks. Damn it. I hate it when he makes me feel like a kid. He did that then, and he still manages to do it now, even when I'm already thirty years old.
- "Did you hear that, pretty boy?"- I was so glad it was just him and Hotch. I didn't want anyone else to listen to that conversation- "You are going to get many chances to talk with that pretty girl."
- "We are going to have to go through the fraternization policy then."- Hotch joked. Yes, he joked and smiled as he walked away.
I could barely talk or even look at her during her whole first day. I was so embarrassed that week 'cos I had just failed my firearm qualification, and I knew everybody was judging me. At least that's how I felt. It didn't work that Morgan welcomed me that morning with a freaking whistle. I felt like the mockery of a Supervisory Special Agent of the FBI, and of all days, (Y/N) had to arrive that morning.
We had a long briefing that day, JJ catching (Y/N) up with a few cases we were reviewing, and Hotch gave her the proper induction to the team. Penelope loved her. It was friendship at first sight.
- "I'm so happy you are here to stay! There aren't enough girls here at the BAU!"- she nearly squeaked as soon as we left the meeting room- "I want to know everything about you! We are going to be best friends. I can feel it!"- (Y/N) smiled at Garcia and nodded.
- "If you are a cat lover and a sucker for nerdy things, then I guess we are already family."
Her answer made Penelope shriek in excitement as I walked back to my desk quickly. I knew Derek wasn't going to waste the chance to embarrass me in front of her, and I needed to avoid it no matter what.
- "Considering it's your first day, and so far we haven't got a case, I say we should all have lunch together. There's a small place nearby"- Morgan smiled sweetly at (Y/N), and she nodded.
- "I'd love to."
- "Spencer here was just telling me how he wanted to know how you got to the BAU so young; he is excited not to be the team's baby anymore"- I turned to Morgan slowly. I swear he could feel the daggers from my eyes.
- "How old are you?"- she asked, and her smile left me speechless. I tried to answer, but I couldn't make any sound but an awkward stutter.
- "He's twenty-four"- Elle had to answer for me, 'cos I had literally lost all my verbal abilities- "His birthday was a few weeks ago."
- "Congratulations! I'm twenty-four too! I'm so happy I'm not the youngest! My brother teased me about it for the last couple of days and got me all freaked out."
She looked so happy to be there. When you spend day after day surrounded by the worst of humankind, you seem to enjoy and appreciate the little gentle things in life. Her excitement was one of those. It was refreshing.
- "That's..."- it was so hard to pronounce any word at that moment. I was flustered and mortified 'cos I was making a fool out of myself.
- "That's great."
That was all I managed to say. Then, I looked down at the papers on my desk, doing my best to avoid any conversation. JJ and Elle talked to her for a few more minutes before returning to their duties, and Derek tapped my back as he walked to his desk.
- "Way to go, Romeo."
- "Shut up."
We never made it for lunch that day, 'cos we were called for a case in Illinois, and I was embarrassed in front of (Y/N) for the very first time. The first of many.
.
(Y/N)'s point of view
I could never forget the day I met Spencer. We were just kids. We were both twenty-four, and that was the first thing that caught everybody's attention on my first day at the BAU. We were the youngest, though he was a genius. I was an average kid who graduated high school at sixteen, got good grades at college, and got into the academy at twenty. Somehow I managed to kick ass until I got the position of my dreams in the Behavioral Analysis Unit. I felt too young and inexperienced to be there, but seeing Reid's face made me feel a little better.
Hotch introduced me to everybody: Morgan, JJ, Elle, Penelope, Gideon -the legend- and Doctor Spencer Reid. He didn't shake my hand, explaining he has a "germs thing." I waved and said I understood him because I've always had a "hug thing," so we are both on the same page.
- "I don't like people touching me if we are not close friends or family."- I explained, and he smiled right away. That smile. It lit up my days for years to come.
- "Me neither, so don't worry, I'm not gonna try to touch you"- I bit my lips as I nodded, and his cheeks turned blood red with embarrassment immediately
- "Sorry, I mean, I'm not going to do anything that might bother you, like hugging you or..."
- "Don't worry, Dr. Reid, I understood what you were trying to say"- he kept nodding and excusing himself, and I tried not to laugh. He seemed to be so nervous it was endearing.
- "You... you can call me Spencer, or Reid"- he added- "You don't need to call me doctor."
- "You can call me (Y/N)"- and he nodded again, looking like a ten years old kid.
I remember clearly that second, right away, I thought he could be my new best friend. There was something about him that made me want to get closer to him.
- "Great! Now we've got two weird kids."- Morgan quickly said, chuckling, and I frowned at his words. I wanted to give him the snarkiest answer, but I remembered it was my first day, and I was still trying to give a good impression to my new coworkers, so I just stared.
- "You know, treating them like kids won't make you look wiser."- Elle whispered, though I heard her perfectly, as Hotch called to the briefing room.
- "I'm just joking with them! Don't you get a joke?"
I thought it was rude to joke around with someone you had just met, but soon after that, I realized Derek Morgan meant no harm. He was like that. And soon, he became the older brother I never thought I was going to need at work. After all, it was my first official job, and it was a very stressful one.
.
My first case was nerve-wracking. Gideon snapped in front of me, and I felt I wasn't helping at all catching the sniper. We are not supposed to use that word, but fuck it. Besides, Spencer and Hotch were kept hostage by the unsub. And Aaron had to beat the shit out of Reid to save all the hostages. Reid was so embarrassed, and I was so scared.
Scared of looking weak in front of my team. Afraid of not deserve being at the BAU.
I remember Elle brought me a coffee on the jet on our way back and said the words that resonated in my head when she left.
- "No one expects you to be perfect at what you do. We just need someone who gives the best every day."
I looked into her eyes and nodded. That was one of the few intimate conversations we had. Elle wasn't the one to open her heart and share her feelings. But she was always someone who could tell you the truth and support you when you needed it.
.
- "Hey! Reid!"- I waved at him from my car as I stopped next to him outside the BAU. It was already two in the morning, and he was outside the main building waiting for a cab.
- "Hey (Y/N)."- he whispered as I rolled up the window and looked at him.
- "Do you need a ride?"
- "No... no, thank you"- he hesitated and waved- "I already called a cab."
- "Are you sure? it's gonna start raining any minute now."
And just as I predicted, a few seconds later, Spencer's glasses were covered with tiny drops of water. He smiled and took a step closer to the car, opened the door, and got in.
- "Th... thank you"- he whispered as I smiled
- "It's ok, I couldn't let you there, on your own, waiting for a cab, not after coming back from a case."
- "I'm ok..."- maybe he thought I was implying the beating he got from Aaron earlier that day, so I did my best to tell him otherwise.
- "I bet you are, but it's fucking freezing, and we are all tired. There's no way you are waiting for a cab if I can drive you over... what about your car, by the way?"
- "I'm not a fan of driving; I take the subway to work every day."
- "Really? Why not?"- I was surprised by his answer, but I was way more surprised we were talking, finally.
- "I don't know, I don't feel comfortable driving... the guys say I'm weird."
I turned to him, raising an eyebrow. He looked so nervous it made me feel bad. Maybe I had done something that had bothered him and never noticed it.
- "That's not weird"- my voice was soft, trying to calm him down. Spencer looked like a scared kitten sitting on my car's passenger seat.
- "If you don't like driving, that's ok... I don't like talking on the phone with people. It makes me anxious for no reason."- I confessed, keeping my eyes on the road. But I know he turned to me and nodded.
- "That's completely normal. It's called "telephone phobia" or "phone phobia," which refers to the irrational fear or discomfort with speaking over the phone. Psychologists believe that this condition is related to social anxiety, which causes a person to avoid situations where they will need to act. Making a call is essentially a performance, and some people dread making a mistake, freezing up, being ridiculed, or not being able to perform in front of an audience."
- "Really?"- he just nodded and kept his eyes on the road- "I didn't know it had a name! My insurance should cover it."
And he finally laughed, which made me feel he was maybe a little more relaxed around me.
- "This is me."- he announced, and I parked outside his building. It was a nice place, and conveniently, it was very close to my house.
- "Great! I live just a few blocks away. I can give you a ride to work whenever you want"- I might have sounded a little more excited than I should have, but I wanted to be friends with him. He was the closest in age with me at work, and he looked so shy and friendly. He was a magnet. Spencer Reid was calling for my friendship. I could feel it.
- "Th.. thanks"- he stuttered and nodded as he opened the door and step out of the car- "Thank you, again."
- "You are very welcome!"- I answered with a big smile. He stared at me for another second and waved before turning around, basically running into the building.
I wish I could go back in time to those days. Everything was more uncomplicated, we were getting to know each other, and everything was brand new: Reid's rambling, my bad jokes. I miss that. I miss us.
It wasn't easy to get close to Spencer. It wasn't easy to get close to the team, probably 'cos I was overthinking every single thing I did. In my first couple of weeks, I was as friendly as I have ever been and made my best to be the (Y/N) I had to be as an FBI Agent. I was making a tremendous effort to fit it. I was nervous and walking on eggshells the whole time. Every time Hotch talked to me, I was sure he would tell me I was fired. When Gideon looked at me, I was sure he thought I was the dumbest agent he had ever met. And every time I spoke at the morning briefings, I just could feel Spencer thinking I was stupid.
.
- "(Y/N)! (Y/N)! I was looking for you!"- Penelope ran into me outside the lady's room and jumped on my face, making me scream- "Sorry!"
- "It's ok, you just almost killed me of a heart attack, but that's ok... I'll survive."- I joked as I kept feeling my heart jumping in my chest.
- "Sorry, I'm just excited 'cos everybody is in for a little gathering tonight at my house. I need to give you a proper welcome! You've already been here for nearly a month, and we still don't get to know much of you."
Hanging out with my coworkers outside the office was strange. Not that I didn't want to get to meet them, it's just that... they were FBI agents. Sure, so was I, but it was my first official Supervisory Special Agent job, and I was only twenty-four. There were so many of my teenage days I still wasn't ready to let go. And so much of it, I didn't want them to know.
- "Sure!"- I replied and smiled at her face lighting up. You could tell Penelope was excited to host a party at her house.
- "Great! Tonight! my place! I'll text you the address! you have to be there!"
- "I will, I swear!"
Spencer's point of view
Oh, man! The first time I actually talked to (Y/N) was on a get-together Penelope organized at her apartment a few weeks after (Y/N) joined the team. Garcia made an effort to make her feel welcome, she even invited Elle, and we all knew those two weren't incredibly close.
Derek drove Elle and me to Penelope's, and I was mortified every minute I spent in that car. He wouldn't stop teasing me, and Elle asked over and over if I had a crush on (Y/N).
- "No! I don't have a crush on her! can you knock it off?!"- I finally snapped as I got off the car outside Garcia's building.
- "Just because she is my age doesn't mean I have or should have a crush on her! she is our new colleague! so please! Stop!"
I slammed the door and walked inside. Did I make an unnecessary scene? Yes, but I couldn't handle anything better at that moment. They were driving me crazy.
- "Welcome! Welcome!"- Penelope opened the door and invited us in. (Y/N), and JJ were already there, holding a beer and laughing. I stared at the two of them and knew I wasn't going to say a word the whole evening.
Back then, I still had a small crush on JJ. We had a terrible date after Gideon gave me tickets for a football game with her favorite team. That was his way to encourage me to ask her out, which I did... but apparently, I sucked at it, 'cos she never got it was a date and invited Penelope to come along. Worst date of my life. But still, I got flustered around her, and my mind kept coming back to her from time to time.
- "So, pretty girl, why did you want to be part of the FBI?"- Morgan asked her after a while of small talk. She was sitting on Garcia's coach, next to our host and JJ. I turned to look at her from my chair, and I swear I felt Elle's eyes on me for a few seconds.
- "Do you usually call girls names?"- (Y/N) answered the questions with another question and frowned at Morgan. He just wide opened his eyes and smiled, surprised.
- "He calls everybody names."- JJ replied, chuckling
- "Hey! he calls me sweet names! Just me!"- Penelope got all jealous and possessive right away.
- "Did you know according to some studies, the reason people in relationships use pet names for their partners is that they're harking back to their own childhood experience and their first love, which usually relates to their mother"- facts came out of my mouth faster than I noticed. I didn't have a chance to stop myself.
Derek frowned right away and (Y/N) bit her lips, trying not to laugh. Elle lost that fight and let out a burst of loud laughter along with JJ.
- "Are you trying to tell me I've got mommy issues, Reid?"
- "No, no, of course not!"- my voice was agitated as I shook my head and hands frenetically. If there's one thing I never want to do is get Morgan mad. He is scary when he is crossed, and back then, we weren't as close as we are now. Let's say I was a little afraid I might say the wrong thing. I always said the wrong thing... I don't know when to stop.
- "I call people pet-names too, once I get to know them, so don't worry"- (Y/N) smiled at turned to Derek with a smile- "And to answer your question, why did I join the FBI? I guess I tried to follow dad's steps. He is chief of police here at Quantico... and my older brother is a detective at NYPD, so... I guess I never really thought about it. I knew where I wanted to be."
- "I bet they are proud"- JJ smiled at her, and I held my breath for a second. I don't know why I did it; I just remember feeling overwhelmed all of a sudden. Not because of JJ, but because I wanted to learn more about (Y/N). I wanted to know everything, but I had no idea how to ask her anything.
- "Well, my brother is very jealous since I joined the BAU"- she chuckled with a playful smile- "Now I'm dad's favorite."
She told us about her academy experience, and we all told her a little bit about ourselves. Morgan was nice enough to tell her everything about my degrees and IQ because, well, my IQ dropped to twenty when it was my turn to talk to her.
I found out she has a MA in Linguistics and was considering doing the DA, which she did. That's when I managed to speak, and we talked about our college experiences for a while.
- "Oh, no! I wasn't popular at all. When your dad is a cop, kids usually don't wanna talk to you or invite you to parties."- she explained as we stood at one side of the room. Talking to her on our own was a little bit easier than doing it with everybody else watching. I don't know why. So I took my opportunity when Derek was out getting more beer with Elle, and JJ and Garcia were in the kitchen.
- "Being fourteen and riding my bike to college didn't make me very popular either."- I confessed, and she chuckled
- "Sorry."
- "Don't be"- I smiled and looked down at my shoes- "I guess at a certain point in our lives, we have to start laughing about some of the bad things that happened to us"- her cellphone rang that second, and she looked at the screen with a small smile.
- "Sorry, I have to answer this, it's my boyfriend."
Boyfriend. I should have seen it coming.
I walked to the kitchen, defeated, and sighed. I left my empty can of Coke and looked at my friends.
- "I think I'm gonna go home."
- "What? No! It's too early, Spence!!"- JJ argued right away- "You never want to hang out with us outside work!"
- "Yeah!! Don't you want to have fun with us?"- Garcia begged and pouted. I wasn't sure I wanted to be there. I was very uncomfortable 'cos social gatherings weren't my thing (they are still not my thing anyway) until I heard her voice.
- "So, what are you guys doing?"- (Y/N) walked over and stood next to me
- "Who were you talking to?"- Penelope asked right away with a wink.
- "My boyfriend"- she was joyful, I could feel the happiness in her voice- "He just wanted to know if I was ok."
- "Boyfriend?"- JJ smiled, and I could feel her eyes glance over me.
- "I need to know everything!"- and Penelope hyperventilated right away- "How long have you been dating? Are you getting married soon? Is he the love of your life?"
- "Who's getting married?"- Morgan walked in and wide opened his eyes as he questioned the room.
- "(Y/N) is getting married!!"- Penelope nearly shrieked as (Y/N) shook her head laughing.
- "I'm not getting married! Paul and I started dating just a month ago; it's nothing serious."
I took a sip of the beer Elle gave me and sighed, staring at the bottle. I made my best not to look at Derek for the rest of the night. I didn't want him to give me any sorry glance or anything that might make anyone believe something that wasn't real.
It was a fun night, after all. After my beer, we talked; I felt a little looser and managed to ask (Y/N) about herself and told her I had overheard her telling Garcia she was a sucker for all nerd things.
- "Yeah, I'm a huge nerd"- her cheeks blushed with her confession.
- "I bet you can't beat baby genius here"- Morgan chuckled and tapped in my back, making everybody laugh... at me.
- "I've got the feeling I can top him... you have no idea the kind of geek I am"- she looked straight at me- "How many Star Wars conventions have you been to this year?"
- "Just one, you?"- I raised an eyebrow and watched her chuckle.
- "Five... last two I was in make-up and custom"- I wide opened my eyes as she bit her lips nervously.
- "And Doctor Who conventions?"- I asked her, way more intrigued than I had been about her before.
- "Only two this year, the academy and school got in the way of most of my fun..."
- "Do you have a favorite doctor?"- I had to ask
- "From the new series, ten, the classic Doctor who I have to say four."
- "Tom Baker is by far my favorite doctor of the whole series."
- "But you can't overlook the fantastic job David Tennant has done! He is the one who managed to charm a whole new generation with the show!"
- "Yeah, he is excellent! but he ain't no Baker"- I loved that conversation
- "Baker's popularity is 80% because he had Sara Jane, who is by far one of the best companions the doctor has ever had. She made him human and relatable"- she had a point, but I needed to argue with her. I opened my mouth to answer, but I couldn't because Morgan's voice was louder than my thoughts.
- "Ok, geeks, you can ramble about your tv shows and nerd things some other time, now let's make a toast. To our newest member, we hope you feel welcome working with us, 'cos you are gonna see us way more than you see your boyfriend"- she chuckled at those words and nodded.
- "Thank you, guys. You have been so nice to me these couple of weeks. I've got the feeling we are gonna get along."
.
- "Do you need a ride?"- (Y/N) turned to me as I grabbed my satchel, and she put on her coat.
- "Thanks, but Morgan is gonna take me home."- I whispered, scared to be alone with her again.
- "Actually, kid, I was planning to hit the club right now, it's still early, and we don't get many free nights, so..."- he looked at us and shrugged.
- "You don't mind?"- I asked her, and she gave me the warmest smile.
- "I just offered to do it, of course, I don't mind at all."
- "Thank you."
I didn't know if I wanted to kill Morgan or thank him. Either way, (Y/N) waved goodbye to everybody and walked out of Garcia's with me, after thanking everybody for the hundredth time for everything.
- "Are you tired?"- she asked me as we both sat in her car. She started it, and the music that came from the radio was so loud, I nearly covered my ears- "Sorry! Sorry! I was rocking my favorite album on my way over."
She quickly turned off the radio and gave me a guilty smile
- "It happens when you drive alone a lot."
- "Did you know listening to loud music helps you liberate stress?"- I started rambling- "There is a direct connection between your inner ear and the pleasure centers in the brain. Shortly explained, when you listen to loud music, endorphins are released, that act on the opiate receptors in our brains, they reduce pain and boost pleasure, resulting in a feeling of well-being."
If I was going to work with her, I had to find a way to talk to her. Even if that way was to ramble facts over and over again. Anything was better than silences, I guess.
- "Yeah! and it also works like a stimulant, which I needed after the week we just had..."- I chuckled, and she looked at me for a second- "By the way, I noticed you have a problem with coffee and sugar"
- "I don't have a problem with coffee!"- I felt nearly judged by her statement.
- "And sugar!"- she added and snickered
- "You know you shouldn't profile other profilers"- I made my best to make a joke, and I guess I nailed it, 'cos she chuckled.
- "That's hardly profiling, Reid! that's just watching you prepare your coffee every morning"
- "Have you been spying on me?"- I could help but to chuckle at that conversation. I was having fun.
- "No way on earth! I just happen to like to drink coffee too, which leads us to the question I wanted to ask, it's still early; Morgan was right, do you want to have a coffee or something... I'm in the mood for something sweet."
- "And you were judging me for my coffee with extra sugar!"
- "I'm not judging you! I'm just pointing out that I noticed what you are doing and wondering how many cavities you already have."
I laughed. An honest, real, pure laughter. She has always made me laugh as I've never had. Like there are no problems, no worries, no traumas. Nothing bad.
- "I have no cavities, thank you very much!"
- "Fine! and are you in the mood for a late coffee and cupcake with me?"- I stayed quiet and looked at her- Don't feel pushed to do it just because I'm giving you a drive
- "No, no, it's not that. I just don't wanna bother you"
- "If I am inviting you, Reid, it's because I want to do it, not because I'm feeling forced to do it"- she kept her eyes on the road, but her voice was so reassuring I couldn't doubt a word.
- "Wouldn't your boyfriend get mad or something?"- I whispered the question 'cos I was scared of the answer.
- "Why should he?"- she looked shocked by the questions- "If he gets jealous, then he is not the guy for me."
I cut her a short smile and nodded. Her personality was so different from mine. It was exciting to have her around.
- "I could eat a donut"- and she clapped at my answer, thrilled with the plan.
- "That's the spirit! I know just the place!"
We talked until four in the morning that night. I don't know how I managed to do it, not because I was tired, but because I was very nervous. Well, I was at the beginning, but talking with (Y/N) has always come easy to me, somehow. To the guy who was never able to speak in public or with any girl, spending three hours in a cafeteria talking, eating donuts, and drinking coffee in the middle of the night was the most significant achievement.
.
(Y/N)'s point of view
- "How do you know a place open at this hour?"- Spencer asked me the very first time we were out together for coffee. It was already close to four in the morning, and I had started yawning, 'cos even with all the sugar and caffeine I had consumed that night, I was weary.
- "Sorry to break the news, doctor, but are not the only one with a sugar problem"- I licked a little frosting from my finger and grinned- "Sometimes after classes, or when I was too stressed studying, I would come here, get a coffee, a cupcake and just... do nothing for a while, just to let my brain rest I guess"
- "That makes total sense. The brain needs free time to process new information and turn it into something more permanent. Though the amount of time a mind needs to construct a durable memory probably varies from one person to the next, it also depends on the complexity of what that person is trying to learn"
- "Well, believe me, it felt like I needed two weeks to process all the information, but I only had half an hour if I was lucky"
- "Then you are already trained for this work. We don't have much time to do anything when we are on a case"
- "That's what I've seen so far... but at least you all get along. It would suck to be stuck in a team that fight egos and divisions."
- "Yeah, you are right, we are lucky to have very nice people working with us... everybody brings something different to the team"- I nodded at his words and looked down at my fingers as I tried to wipe the leftover sticky glazed with a napkin.
I had been working there for four weeks already, and I still felt like I didn't belong. Honestly, it was such hard work being there, not because they weren't a great team, but because it was more challenging than I ever imagined. Profiling and traveling all over the nation catching serial killers was... stressing, to say the least.
- "You bring a completely different point of view in every case"- he continued speaking and looked down at his cup- "And your knowledge in Linguistics adds more information to the profiles, which helps working faster and better."
I held my breath at his words. I knew he was just polite, just trying to make me feel better about my job performance these weeks.
- "I can assure you, you have been an incredible addition to the team"- he stayed quiet for a second, still just staring at his cup.
- "Thank you."
- "It's true; I'm not telling you this 'cos I think you need to hear it. I wanted you to know 'cos that's how we all feel."
I know I was blushing. I don't know how to take a compliment. Not that I get many, but it's always weird to hear someone telling you so nice things about your work.
- "Thank you, Spencer"- he finally looked at me and nodded. We stayed in silence for a few minutes. I didn't know what else to say, and he seemed to be embarrassed.
- "Thank you, actually"- he finally whispered.
- "Why? I didn't do anything"- I was confused, but he was earnest about his words.
- "Thank you, 'cos you have been very nice to me, even though I am a barely tolerable person."
- "What? Barely tolerable? What the hell are you saying?"
- "I mean, I know I drive people crazy 'cos I am always rambling and giving unnecessary facts all the time"- I narrowed my eyebrows, not getting why he was saying those things.
- "You do not do that."
- "Maybe you haven't been here long enough to realize I am always giving facts, and..."- he was honest. He actually believed people were annoyed by him. It hurt me to know that's what he thought of himself.
- "I realized that within the first three hours into the job, but I think that's amazing."
- "People would always say it's annoying."
- "Why would they say that?"
- "Because... I know they do."
- "Well, whoever says or thinks that are assholes, I like your rambling."
Reid snorted, and I hit his arm with my knuckles softly. I really felt bad he was so insecure, and most of all, he thought everybody hated him.
- "I mean it, Spencer, I wish I knew half the things you know, and if being with you means having to listen to your rambling, I think it's incredible, 'cos it gives me the chance to soak some of that knowledge."
The way he smiled, it was like his whole face lit up. He blushed, obviously embarrassed, and it also blushed me, 'cos he was gorgeous when he smiled.
- "So please, don't stop the facts, not with me"- he nodded and sipped what was left of his coffee.
After another few minutes, we left, and I drove him home. We were in a small sugar rush; we were too tired to have a full effect. I knew all I wanted was my bed and sleep the whole weekend.
- "I had a great time tonight"- I parked my car outside his building and smiled- "At Penelope's and with you"
I was so excited we had finally talked and gotten closer. I wanted to be friends with him so badly. Why? I don't know. I just knew I needed him in my life, from that minute on.
- "I had a great time too"- he smiled and held his satchel- "See you Monday"
- "Yeah! See ya!"
- "Drive safe!"
- "I will!"
I got home that night and laid on my bed, fully dressed. I barely took off my shoes and fell asleep right away. I was too tired to think, too tired even to put on my pajamas. But I wasn't too tired to remember Spencer's smile while he ate donuts. His dorky glasses, the way he gesticulated everything he said when he was excited about a subject. I was glad I had finally gotten to talk to him for once. And I couldn't wait to do it again.
Back then, Paul and I had just started dating. I wasn't in love with him, but he was a nice, funny guy I loved spending time with. I met Paul a couple of months ago at a friend's party. He was fun to be with, and we had a lot of things in common. We were both into music. He had a band, I didn't back then, but eventually got mine over time. He was like me, nothing like my friends at the BAU.
I thought that was cool, 'cos he represented a part of me I didn't want to lose working at the FBI. I was terrified I was going to lose myself in my new job. I saw how it affected dad's and my brother's life, how they were consumed by it in almost every single way. It was why my parents got divorced. It was why my brother couldn't keep a girlfriend for longer than a few months. 'Cos work was first, and their job was everything. The crazy hours, having to answer every call, no matter how busy you were. I thought it was sick how work could be your whole life. I was decided not to let it happen.
Yeah. I had no idea what I was getting into.
Soon after I joined the BAU, the nightmares began. I guess nothing prepares you to see so many people die. And nothing prepares you to kill someone, no matter if that someone is a child abuser.
I took the shoot, didn't even hesitate. It went right between his eyes. It was him or me, I know that. He was going to kill me. But still, it was hard.
Derek turned to me as I stayed still, in shock. It took me a few seconds to even breathe. I had just killed a person. It wasn't just some random thing.
- "(Y/N), are you ok?"- he landed a hand on my shoulder, and I quickly nodded.
- "Yeah, I'm ok... that was fast"- it was all I could say and turned to him. He gave me a short warm smile and wrapped an arm around me. I flinched at his touch right away and held my breath again. I don't know if he felt it, but still, he didn't let me go.
Derek has that thing when he doesn't care if you want it or no; he will give you his love and friendship when he feels you deserve it. I guess I'm lucky to call him my friend. And he really pushed that hug thing I still have.
- "Are you ok?- Spencer's voice was a sweet whisper. He sat carefully next to me in the jet and gave me a warm cup of tea- "I made you the one you like"
Of course, he had noticed my favorite brand, 'cos that's what Spencer does, he takes mental notes of everything and never, ever forgets. I wonder if that's a good thing or not. I guess it depends on what you remember.
- "Yeah, just tired"- working at the BAU, you can hide any kind of feeling behind the "I'm so tired" excuse. Mostly because we are indeed tired the whole time.
- "It was an extreme case"- I sipped my cup of tea and nodded at his words- "Do you..."
- "No, I'm ok, I don't wanna talk about it"- he bit his lips as he smiled. We both stayed quiet for a while. He read (somehow, at a relative normal peace), and I drank my tea. I couldn't concentrate on anything, so I just looked outside and tried not to think about the unsub's face and how he looked when I killed him.
- "How was your first time?"- I finally asked him, and I think my question caught him by surprise, 'cos he nearly jumped on his seat- "Not your first time in the sack, the first time you had to..."
- "No, I got it, I got it"- he was already blushing, it was adorable- "My first time was actually the first time you drove me home"
- "Really?"
- "Yeah"- he made a pause and gathered his thoughts, I guess- "I didn't really go out to the field a lot before 'cos I didn't have my firearm qualification"
And suddenly I remembered how embarrassed he was about it on my first day at the BAU. Derek made sure everybody knew about it 'cos he thought it was hilarious. And I thought he was a jerk for making fun of him.
- "And did it affect you?"- it was a stupid question. I knew Spencer was a sensitive person; of course, killing someone was going to affect him in many ways- "I mean, how did it affect you?"
- "I couldn't feel anything at first"
- "Shock?"- he nodded and sighed- "Gideon said that maybe I didn't know what I felt and that's why I thought I didn't feel a thing, but that wasn't it, it was like I was numbed inside... but then when it hits you"- he murmured- "And you can't stop thinking about it"
- "I think it hit me sooner than I thought"- I closed my eyes and sighed, but even then, I could feel those empty dead eyes staring at me.
- "Wanna know what helped me?"- Spencer's voice was velvety and soothing. It felt relaxing talking to him.
- "What?"- I whispered and turned to look at him
- "Remember two things: you did what you had to do"- I sighed at that with a small smile. It didn't sound like something I could believe at that moment.
- "And the second?"
- "A lot of kids are alive and safe because of you"
Now, that made me feel a lot better. Reid was right. I did what I had to do to help people. That guy wasn't going to stop.
- "Thanks"- I managed to give him a slight smile, and he did the same.
- "I'm here to talk if you want to"
It felt like he was really making an effort to say those words. I didn't know why it was still so hard for him to talk to me. Maybe it was still a sensitive subject for him, so I did what I do best: I joked about it.
- "Thank you... I'll try to avoid the issue as much as I can, but when I collapse under the pressure, I promise I'll come to you"- he chuckled at my answer and nodded right away.
- "Great plan."
And a few days later, I couldn't sleep anymore. I kept waking up to those eyes. I kept feeling guilty for killing a child abuser who was trying to kill me. I relived in my mind that moment over and over again.
- "Babe, come back to bed"- Paul found me sitting by the kitchen island staring at a herbal teacup at two am. It was my third insomnia night.
- "Yeah, I'll be right there"- he turned to walk back to the room but hesitated and looked at me again.
- "Do you want to talk about it?"- I shook my head, still not taking my eyes from the cup. He slowly walked to me and held my hand - "Come on, babe, everything looks worse at two am."
And he was right. Everything seemed to be worse when it came to my mind in the middle of the night. But it didn't get any better during the day either. He cuddled with me in my bed and fell asleep soon after. I just stayed there, feeling his chest moving softly with his soft breathing, thinking I had killed someone, and it wasn't going to be the last time I was going to face something like this.
.
Spencer's point of you
Do you want to know something sad? I was excited we had an unsub in New York 'cos I had never been there. Back then, I didn't know my colleagues were going to tease me about it. I didn't give it too much thought. I honestly wasn't good at leaving my house when we weren't in a case. Most of my traveling had been due to work, and other than La Vegas and Pasadena, I hadn't been to many cities just to sightsee.
Why am I thinking about that right now? 'cos we were in New York the day (Y/N) gave me her first gift.
Everybody had made fun of me during dinner because I didn't know how to eat with chopsticks. JJ tried to teach me, which also caused hours of Morgan's teasing for the rest of the trip. Thankfully, they dropped the jokes when we went back to the police station to take one last look at the profile after we got a call out unsub had killed a cop this time.
But after two hours of thinking, neither of us was honestly able to give any new idea to the case. Hotch insisted we head back to the hotel to have some rest. (Y/N) was one of the last ones to leave, along with Gideon and me.
- "Stop looking at the board"- she said, standing by my side, bag in hand- "Let's go. Your big brain needs to rest."
- "I won't be able to sleep knowing I'm missing something"- I answered, not taking my eyes from the board
- "Come on"- (Y/N) playfully hit my arm- "You need your eight hours of sleep to be a fully functional genius"
- "You should try to get a full night's sleep as well"- I turned to her and watched her eyes widen- "What? Do you think I didn't notice you haven't been sleeping?"
- "No, but I thought you were going to wait until I had a mental breakdown to force me to talk about it; that was the plan, right?"
I tried not to laugh, but it was hard; she is so funny, though I knew that was a sensitive subject, it had been weeks since the incident, and it was clear (Y/N) wasn't processing everything right. If anything, her jokes were a coping mechanism to avoid talking or even thinking about what had happened.
- "We can also talk about it, just... talk"
- "I know what happens with me, Reid"- she whispered and looked around. Gideon was outside, no way near us, but still, she kept her voice low. It made me see she was scared he would hear her, 'cos she didn't want him to think she was weak.
- "I guess I just have to make peace with it. It was gonna happen, and it will happen again, it's my job, it's part of what I do, end of it."
I looked at her and nodded in silence. There was so much I wanted to tell her, but I couldn't shake the thought she was going to laugh at me.
- "Do you want to?"- I made a pause and took a deep breath. Yes, I was very nervous- "Do you want to walk back to the hotel? it's just a few blocks and maybe... fresh air can help you relax?"
I didn't mean to hesitate so much, but it was scary for me to ask her to spend time on our own. I don't know why. It wasn't just with her; it happened with everybody at that point in my life. I was sure no one wanted to spend time with me. Why would they?
- "Can we have a midnight cupcake?"- she asked and smiled. I bit my lips and pretended to give the idea a lot of thinking, though I was craving donuts ever since we didn't have time for dessert at dinner.
- "Just one, and no coffee"
- "What are you? The sleeping police?"- she teased me and led the way. We waved at Gideon and walked outside the police station.
For a rainy night, it was freezing. But I didn't care much. I was too busy looking around, it was technically my first night out in New York, and though I was just leaving work and walking back to the hotel, it was the biggest adventure I have had there so far.
For the first couple of minutes, we walked in silence. (Y/N) looked at her feet, hands stuffed in her pocket as I walked next to her, holding my umbrella for the two of us. I tried to take in everything that was going on around us. It was exciting, being there, alone. I was a twenty-four-year-old Supervisory Special Agent of the FBI, and I was excited to walk with a friend in the New York city streets. No wonder why Morgan called me "kid."
- "Did you know more than 800 languages are spoken in New York City? that makes it the most linguistically diverse city in the world"- I had to start rambling facts after a while because I guess I couldn't help it.
- "Vraiment?"- she answered, and I chuckled. Of course, Master in Linguistics.
- "Oui"- I thought we could have a whole conversation in french; it would have been fun and fascinating, but my French was very rusty, and I didn't know if she was fluent or just learned a few things.
- "When I was a kid, I dreamt about living in New York. I was obsessed with it"- she kept looking down at her feet as she spoke, and I turned to look at her for a second. She looked sad somehow, or that's what I read from her. I've always done my best not to profile profilers. It's harder than you imagine.
- "Why?"- she chuckled at her thoughts and kept her eyes on her shoes.
- "You know how they always make you feel no matter how weird you might be, you are still going to fit in New York?"
- "You are not weird"- I couldn't help but frown and look at her- "You are..."
- "I am weird, we are all weird, that's what makes us great"
I loved that thought. That's why I've never forgotten it. Lie, I can't forget. I remember everything we've said to each other because I want to, not because I have an eidetic memory.
- "But when you are in school, everybody is trying to fit it and be normal, and that wasn't me at all..."
I didn't see that coming, and I have to admit it, I loved it. I often felt I was an outsider at the BAU. Hotch, Gideon, Morgan, Elle, JJ, they all fit in everywhere we'd go. Meanwhile, everybody looked at me, wondering what the hell am I doing there. I could read it on their faces. The fact the team had to introduce me as "Doctor Spencer Reid" is a sign they are making an effort to make me look older and more experienced. Reliable, even.
- "Why would you say you are weird?"- I had to ask- "You look very normal to me, I mean it"- she raised an eyebrow and didn't say a word. She just pulled my jacket and dragged me to a coffee shop.
- "Cupcakes, Reid, you can't expect me to tell you embarrassing facts about my life without a cup of coffee and a mountain of sugar."
JJ always said I ate like a kid, too many pastries and candy, no salad. Meanwhile, (Y/N) kept pushing sugar into my body. I liked that. They were both so different. JJ treated me like I didn't know how to deal with life. (Y/N) treated me like I could help her deal with life. JJ wanted to help me grow up. I could feel (Y/N) wanted to be my friend, and I loved that. I had never felt someone longing for my company. It was always the opposite. I usually felt people were stuck with me.
For months I kept comparing the two of them in my head. JJ had such condescending manners, it sometimes made me think she might actually have feelings for me. Other times, Morgan would call her my mom, which took all the hopes from my mind.
- "What do you do in your free time, Reid?"- (Y/N) sat in front of me in a booth. Right in between us, a table with two coffees, a red velvet cupcake, and a chocolate frosted donut with sprinkles.
- "I read, study..."- I didn't give much thought to my answers- "I also write a letter to my mom every day"
- "That's so cute"- I felt how my cheeks turned blood red, and she smiled at me sweetly.
- "Thanks..."- I sipped my hot cappuccino and winced as the coffee burned my tongue, and she chuckled.
- "Slowly, doc, or are you in a hurry?"
- "Definitely not, I have no other plan, I mean, I could sleep, but I know I won't, and, and I know you won't sleep either, so"- the words left my mouth at such a fast pace, not even I got them all. (Y/N) nodded and started taking apart her cupcake, little by little.
- "That's awesome, 'cos I like hanging out with you, and I don't feel like hanging out with Elle tonight. We are sharing rooms."
- "You don't like her?"- now that was breaking news- "I thought you two got along"
- "Don't get me wrong, I like her. I just don't feel like being the version of myself I am when I'm with her"
I looked at her, not sure of where she was going. She took a piece of cake and ate it slowly.
- "You lost me"- (Y/N) sighed and ran a finger around the edge of her cup.
- "Are you really you the whole time when you are at work, Reid?"
- "Well, yes?"- I wasn't sure that was the answer she wanted, but it was the only one I had- "I don't know how to be anybody else"
That was the whole truth. That's still the truth. Maybe that's why I have never been popular. People say I have no empathy, that I can't read any social cues. If I knew how to be someone else, I would probably try to change that and be a Spencer that's entirely sympathetic and social, like everybody else. But I can't force myself to act differently.
She stared at me, and I could feel the frustration piling behind her small smile.
- "Do you want to know something weird?"- her eyes shone as she stared into mines asking the question
- "Always"
- "You are the only person at the BAU I feel I can be myself with"- she whispered and sipped her coffee again.
- "Thanks?"- I was confused- "But... you are not that different with me than you are with the rest of the team"
- "Well, I am... I don't share who I really am at work because I am afraid"
- "Why? What scares you?"- she sighed and laid back on the seat. I kept my eyes fixated on her until she furrowed her brows, staring back at me
- "Are you trying to profile me, Spencer? 'cos we are not supposed to profile each other. I'm pretty sure it was in the contract I signed"- I smiled, busted, and nodded.
- "If it makes you feel any better, you are hard to read"
- "I'm a good liar, don't tell anyone"
She was proud of her answer, and I guess she should have been. You have to be an excellent liar to catch unsubs, get in their head, play with them when you have to make them talk. I guess she was ahead of me in that area.
- "Well, If it makes you feel better, I feel more comfortable around you than most of the team"
I closed my eyes as I spoke, and I knew my voice had been so low and soft, it hadn't been surprising if she hadn't been able to hear me, but she did.
- "Is it because I don't like touching people either?"- she joked, and a small smile stretched across my lips
- "It is because you"- I stopped and rearranged my thoughts. You could tell she was eager to hear the rest of my answer, and I was making sure not to make a fool out of myself.
- "It's because it feels you don't judge me for being me"
- "That's exactly how I feel, Spencer"- her smile was so big it made mine grow bigger as well.
- "But, why can't you be you with everybody?"- (Y/N) took a big bite of her cupcake, feeling more confident about our conversation and nodding.
- "Mmm, this is so damn good, you should try it, Reid"
- "Answer the question, (Y/N)"- I ignored her random comment and asked again- "Why can't you just be you?"
- "There are two answers to that question, and both of them are real"- she finally confessed and bit her lips, playing again with a little piece of cake on the dish.
- "I'm waiting"
- "You know, for someone who said has all the night off, you are indeed in a hurry now!"- she snickered and stuck out her tongue at me.
- "Fine, here's the truth: I don't want to share my whole real me at work because I am scared people will judge me and think I'm weird and too immature for the job, but at the same time, and this is the second reason, I don't wanna show my whole me at work 'cos I am afraid I'll lose it along the way, I am worried the FBI will take that weird part of me and will turn me into an SSA."
- "You are an S.S.A., (Y/N)"
- "I know, but I'm afraid I might end up being an ASS, Reid"
Her joke made me laugh so hard, tears fell down my cheeks. And she looked pleased to see me laughing.
- "See? That's me, the girl telling weird jokes the whole time 'cos can't stand a serious "grown-up" conversation. Can you imagine this (Y/N) talking with Hotch? Seriously, Reid, can you imagine?"
- "No, I can't"- I shook my head, still chuckling, and took a bit of my donut- "But I would definitely love to."
- "Do you want to know what I do in my free time?"- my mouth was still full, so I just nodded, feeling a little guilty I hadn't asked about her when she had asked about my hobbies.
- "I ride my longboard and play bass, do you think an SAA should be doing that? Do you think Elle does it? JJ? they are the perfect fit for the role. I am that kid at the back of the class who got a stroke of luck and managed to hang out with the cool kids"
- "Am I one of the cool kids?"- I had to ask
- "Yes, Reid, why?"
- "I've never been one of the cool kids before"- she gave me a severe look and sipped her coffee.
- "Here I am, pouring my heart and soul out for you, and all you care about is being one of the popular kids. That's being a lousy friend, Reid."
She was joking, and we both chuckled, but my chest tightened at her words, and the smile on my lips grew wider. She called me her friend for the first time that night.
- "I think you are overthinking this whole thing, (Y/N)"- she sighed at my words and finished her coffee- "We are all weird, you said it yourself"
- "Some on us more than other"
- "Yes, but that's what makes us great and unique. I told you, your vision brings a whole new point of view to the profiles, and I know what it's like to feel insecure people will judge you for being too young"
- "I know, that's why I'm glad you are here"
I am sure I was blushing, and I am absolutely certain she noticed because I heard her giggle as I looked down at my empty dish and fidgeted with my cup.
- "And... are"- I stuttered and narrowed my eyes. I knew I had to stop being so nervous around her; she was my friend, she had said it herself- "Are you ready to talk about your nightmares?"
- "Are you profiling I have nightmares?"- she raised an eyebrow and questioned my question
- "I am staring at the back rings under your eyes. It's clear you haven't been sleeping and considering we both know you went through a traumatic incident, to call it that way, you are clearly going through night terrors or nightmares"
- "Did you go through the same?"
- "Yes, I did"
- "And how did you overcome it?"
- "I haven't. I just made my peace with it"- you could read the deception on her face. That wasn't the answer she was waiting for.
- "They will be more sporadically, I promise, (Y/N)"
- "That's what's scares me too"
- "What?"
- "That one day I won't have the nightmares 'cos I'll be used to seeing the darkness and horror around me."
When we left the cafeteria, it was two in the morning, and the night was freezing. It was no longer raining, and the cold wind could freeze your skin in a second. (Y/N) looked at me as I shivered and opened her bag.
- "Here, put this on"- it was a purple scarf.
- "Thank you"- I was so cold I didn't hesitate. The wool was warm, soft, and it smelled like her- "It's pretty"- I felt I had to compliment it, 'cos she was too nice with me.
- "I made it myself"- you could tell she was proud. I tightened it around my neck and continued our way back to the hotel.
I hadn't felt I could count on someone at the FBI as I did with her. She wouldn't think I'm a kid; she wouldn't be forced to hang out with me. It felt pretty good to have a friend again. Ethan had been the last one I had lost. I always lose the people I love.
- "Thank you"- we were standing outside (Y/N)'s room back at the hotel. I took off the scarf and tried to give it back to her, but she didn't let me.
- "Keep, it's a present for being my first and best BAU friend"- I felt profoundly flattered, and I'm pretty sure I giggled, blushing- "Besides, purple looks good on you"
- "It's my favorite color"- I confessed- "And I'm not saying it just to make you feel good"
- "Then you have to keep it. It was made for you even when I didn't know it"- she smiled one more time and opened the door- "Good night, Reid."
- "Good night, (Y/N)."
----------
Series Masterlist
Chapter two
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Text
Birthday Girl
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Pairing: Aaron Hotchner x Reader
Summary: It’s the reader’s birthday & she doesn’t want to get up but little does she know Hotch & Rossi has planned a surprise party for her
Wanings: None
Request made by @thomasgibsonfan01 ♥️
MASTERLIST
———
“Babe”
“No, Aaron”
Wrapping myself tighter in my fuzzy blanket I relaxed further on the sofa ignoring my husband’s gaze
“It’s your birthday, let’s go out” he sat next to me, hands trying to remove the blanket
“I’d much rather stay in and watch movies with you” my grip tightened
“Nuh uh, get up” he successfully yanked it off of me before taking off with it down the hall
“I hate you Aaron Hotchner!”
“I love you too y/n Hotchner!”
Rolling my eyes I made my way to my wardrobe to find something pleasing to wear. After raking through my closet I chose my plum coloured off the shoulder dress that reaches mid thigh and accents my curves in all the right places
Thankfully I had already showered so I didn’t need to worry about that. Taking my makeup bag I went into the bathroom where Aaron was showering
Not really feeling for all the heavy duty stuff I applied my face powder, eyeshadow, blush and lipstick. Reaching up I removed my hair tie opting to just brush my hair out and leave it opened as it was already straight
The shower shut off an Aaron emerged with a boyish grin plastered on his face
“You look beautiful”
“Shut up”
Chuckling he kissed my head before leaving to get dressed. Taking on last look in the mirror I followed him
“I need your help” my arms couldn’t reach the zipper on my back
“C’mere” his fingers teased my exposed back before getting to task that needed to be done
“Thank you”
Turning around I noticed how much hotter he looked in his black shirt and trousers
“You know, if you keep staring at me like that we’re gonna be late”
“I don’t even want to go” my hands trailed down his stomach slowly inching towards his belt buckle
“Nice try but we’re going” his larger hands stopped my actions just as I reached his groin
“Fine” giving up I slipped on my black stilettos and grabbed my clutch off the dresser
He took up his belongings quickly ushering me out the house to his car
“My lady” he opened the door for me
“Here I thought chivalry was dead. Thank you” I slipped in and he shut the door, rounding the car to the driver’s side
“One more thing, put this on” he pulled out a blindfold and held it up for me to take
“Are you going to kill me?”
“If I wanted to do that I would’ve done it a long time ago”
Taking the blindfold from him I put it on as he backed out the driveway
This better be worth it
———
After what I assume was half an hour the car finally came to a stop, he got out and opened my door, taking my hand to guide me
“Where are we babe?”
“You’ll see soon”
He rested his hand on my hips as he carefully walked me to wherever he was taking me. The sound of my heels hitting the ground quieted and my feet started brushing against what I presume was grass.
“You know I’ll legit gouge your eyes out if you brought me to a park”
His body vibrated from his boisterous laughter
“Okay you could stop walking now” doing as told I instinctively reached up to remove the blindfold but he stopped me
“Let me”
I felt him carefully lift it off my eyes and I opened them
“Surprise!”
The entire team was standing there smiling from ear to ear at my startled state
“Happy birthday mama” Derek was the first to pull me in for a hug
“You guys planned this?” pulling away I look over to the others
“Your husband did and I helped out” Rossi pointed to the grinning idiot next to me
“Is that so?” My arms wrapped around his waist as I stared into his eyes
“Happy birthday baby” he leaned forward and captured my lips with his earning the team’s cat calls
“Let’s get this party started!” Garcia announced dragging the others behind her
“Have I told you how much I love you?”
“No but you should show me” his hands rested comfortably on the curve of my ass
“I plan too”
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Stay With Me (Pt. 08 of 09)
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Pairing: Daryl Dixon X Reader
Word count: 3 K
Summary: Daryl found you surrounded by the dead, stuck in the backseat of a car. You were wishing for death to take you away for quite a while now, but, as you slid back and forth into consciousness, there was only one thing keeping you alive. Him, the man with blue, worried eyes and kind voice. Your beaten up body was ready to give up, too wounded and broken to keep going. But this man, who went out of his way to save your life is the only thing in the world holding you up. And, because of him, you feel something you haven't felt in a very long time: hope. Wherever he's taking you, you want to get there, and not only to be buried. For what it feels like the very first time, you want to live. He takes you back to Alexandria, but even there, the nightmares and the terror from all the torture and pain you've been through keeps creeping closer, and Daryl, your hero, is the only one who can keep that all away.
Warnings: Mentions and description (not graphic) of past abuse; post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD); some violence at the end of the story (a little bit graphic, but not so much); blood.
<- Previous part (07)
Next part (09)->
{The Walking Dead Masterlist}
I want to thank my awesome friend @jodiereedus22, who helped me (and still does) a lot to get this story done. She's also a writer and she's amazing so please go check her work!!
×
Nightmare
It's amazing to know you're excited about the party. Luke is two months old, and since you had a welcome party in-store, you turned it into a birthday party. It'll happen later tonight, by nightfall, and you're enjoying the last moments before you have to leave the bedroom and start organizing things.
After brushing your teeth and hair, you leave the bathroom, smiling to see Daryl still lied in bed. He seems peaceful, eyes closed, so handsome in the morning light. You've been wanting to tell him something, it's been a while... But you never get the right time. Or maybe you're just a little scared...
But looking at him now, it just fades away. You and Daryl have been in a solid relationship, and despite the short time, things have been amazing. Perfect. Carol is even talking about moving out, so you and Daryl can have your own space, but you don't want to push her to it. In the privacy of your bedroom, you're fine. And living with Carol is nice.
“Hey, D.” You say in a soft voice, going to the bed and climbing on top of him. Daryl grunts something, his eyes opening, hands coming to your hips and waist. “Are you awake?”
“I am now that a kitten came to lie down on me.” He mumbles as you move up until your face is at the same level as his. You place your legs around his hips, hands sustaining your weight on each side of his head.
“Sorry.” You mutter, moving to stand up. But Daryl's grip gets tighter, and you let yourself fall, collapsing against his chest, giggling. “Alright, alright. But listen up now...”
“What is it?” He brings a hand to your face, fingers caressing your chin.
“Uhm...” Blushing a little, you clear your throat. “I... I think... No, I do.”
Daryl raises an eyebrow, and you can tell he's trying to figure it out on his own. “Ya wanna break apart?” He bursts out suddenly. “ ‘Cause if that's what ya want, I–”
“Oh, yeah. Definitely.” You say in a sarcastic tone, rolling your eyes. “I'm literally on top of you, Daryl Dixon. How can you possibly think I want to end things?” Moving to sit up, straddling his hips, you cross your arms. “What do you have in this pretty head of yours? Only hunting skills?”
“Yer very funny.” In a sudden motion, Daryl pulls you down again, switching positions so he's on top of you instead. “What is it then?” He asks, his face way too close.
“Can I kiss you first?”
“Nah. Ya got me curious.”
“Alright...” Taking a deep breath, you gather up some courage to push the words out. “I want a baby.” Shrugging your shoulders, you giggle at Daryl's funny face. “What?”
“Don't ya have one already?”
“Yeah...” Mumbling, you wrap your arms around his neck. “Daryl?”
“Huh?”
“I want another baby.” Smirking, you place a kiss on his lips. He's fast to kiss you back, a hand cupping your cheek. “So. What do you think?” You ask when you pull away.
“How are ya plannin’ to get one?”
You're not sure if his intention was to make you blush, but you're blushing anyway. “Uhm... First I need to get married.”
“Get married? People don't care about these things anymore.” He answers quickly, and you wonder if you went too far. Maybe it's way too early, and these thoughts should be kept inside your heart for a while longer.
“I know but... That's exactly why I care.” Sighing, you avoid his eyes. “I'm sorry, we haven't talked about this and I don't even know if–”
“Hey, calm down.” With his thumb and index finger on your chin, he makes you look at him again. You always appreciates Daryl's touch, it doesn't matter how small it is. It took a while for him to get comfortable enough to do this so easily, and you never take it for granted. He's always gentle as if you're a porcelain doll. He's never rough, never violent, not with you. Loving Daryl happened fast and strong, and it's a feeling that only grows, every passing day. “Ya wanna talk about it we'll talk about it.”
“It's just that... I-I love you. With all my heart and... It does feel like we already have this family thing going on and...” Daryl has fallen into this father role, and he's absolutely amazing with Luke. He can make him fall asleep in minutes, and you love to watch as he rocks the baby to sleep. And those moments always get your mind racing. He's already being such a good father so maybe he'd like a baby of his own... And you'd like to give him that. “...It got me thinking.”
“I love ya too, babygirl. But marriage... It would bound you with me on a whole different level.” Daryl sits up, and you follow his movement, your arms still around his neck, keeping him close. “I wanna make sure ya have the choice ta’ walk away when ya want to.”
“I won't walk away, Dixon. I love you.” He needs to be reassured of that from time to time, but you don't mind. You want to spend the rest of your life making sure Daryl knows he's loved. That he's desired and wanted. “I want to be with you for the rest of my life and if that's what you want too... You know, I'm a girlish girl, I'd like to get married someday, and honestly, if not with you then I won't marry anyone else.” Shrugging your shoulders, you look down, a shiver rolling down your spine, feeling his fingers caressing your bare thigh.
“Ya sure ya want this? With me? Are ya sure about what yer talking about?”
“I am.” You mutter in a low voice, blushing. “I am.” Repeating in a low voice, you kiss him, slowly at first, but soon enough his taste overcomes everything, and you think he feels the same since he deepens the kiss. Pulling him down again, you smile when his hand touches a ticklish spot on your side.
“Hey, you two!” Carol calls, knocking on the door. “Wake up. There's a lot to do today.”
Daryl grunts in response, not pulling away from the kiss.
But Carol is right. It'll be a long day and both you and Daryl have stuff to get ready for the party.
The day passes by quickly since you're helping everyone a little. The only thing you can't do is lift heavy stuff. Daryl forbade it, with Denise backing him up, you have no idea for how long. The party will happen at Rick's house since the living room is the biggest, and you spend hours there decorating everything. You try not to think too much about all the people who will be here tonight. You know them, you befriended them, they won't hurt you.
When it's finally time to go, you're impressed by how you feel. Happy, not scared, and actually excited. You never thought stuff like this would ever happen again. It's silly, but it keeps people sane, said Deanna. The sun is making its way to the horizon when you're getting dressed. You chose to wear a dress Daryl brought you from one of his runs. It's a light shade of blue, with thin straps and a nice cleavage in the back, reaching a few inches below the mid of your thighs. You never wear anything that will show the scar on your leg, you don't like it. Nor what it represents. You're putting on your flats when Daryl comes out of the bathroom, hair still damp, but completely dressed. He's wearing what he usually wears, always dark colors, but you don't mind. You really like it.
“Are you ready?” You ask, turning on your heels to face him. Daryl doesn't answer, eyes locked on you, lingering for so long it makes you blush. “D? Cat got your tongue?”
“Nah, it just...” He looks down at his feet before making his way over you. “Ya look beautiful, that's all.”
“Thanks.” Smiling shyly, you tiptoe to kiss him. “But I'll need a coat for when the night falls... Mind if I get one of yours?”
“Won't ya ever stop stealin’ my clothes?” Daryl fakes an annoyed tone, but it takes two seconds for his lips to break into a smile.
“Well, you stole my heart, Dixon. I'm just looking for revenge.” Winking at him, you search on the wardrobe for one of his jackets. “Now let's get going. Maggie and I baked this brownies and I'm dying for one.” Grabbing the jacket, you take his hand and leave the bedroom.
Carol is already there, so you just have to take little Luke and head out. He wants Daryl this time, so he's the one carrying him to Rick's place. As you walk there, the wind messes with your hair, and you try to keep it from your face.
“Who are the new residents, by the way?” You just remembered them. If the day wasn't so hectic, you'd ask Daryl to introduce you to them, just so you could know their faces before having to meet them at the party.
“Two men. Aaron found them starving to death a hundred miles Northwest. They're alright I guess. Since Deanna allowed them to stay.” Daryl reassures you, his free hand taking yours. “Ya ok?”
“Yeah... I'm excited, actually.” As you climb the few steps to the porch, Luke giggles, you're not sure why. “Right, little one?” Stopping by the front door, you step closer to the baby in Daryl's arm. “Are you excited too? For your party? Two months old already, you're growing up so fast.” You're still baby-talking when the door is opened, a smiley Carl gesturing for you to get in.
“C'mon, let's get ya those brownies,” Daryl says as you step inside.
It takes no time for people to come to talk to Luke, him becoming the center of attention. He throws himself on Maggie's arms, who happily welcomes him.
“(Y/N),” Rick says and you turn on your heels to talk to him. Daryl remains close, and you know why. But you feel fine, comfortable around these people. “Judith said a funny word this morning. I wonder where she learned it.” He has his hands on his hips, and you innocently shrug your shoulders.
“What word?”
“Damn it,” Daryl answers, not a hint of doubt in his voice. Rick nods, raising his eyebrow.
“Oh my gosh. Where could she have heard such a thing?” She learned it from you because that's what you exclaim almost a hundred times a day and that's not really a secret anymore. “I'm sure she said something like ‘dang it’ so I don't see how that's my fault. ‘Dang it’ it's not that bad is it?”
“Well, I think–”
“(Y/N). Daryl.” Deanna calls, and you give Rick a smirk, meaning you're happy to be saved from this conversation. Turning around, you focus on Deanna. “Come, you're the only ones who haven't met Michael and Daniel yet.”
“Ok.” You can't help but feel a little anxious to meet new people, so you grab Daryl's arm as you follow Deanna through the living room.
“Over here.” She gestures, a kind smile on her lips. “This is Daniel, and Michael, they were found–”
Her words fade when both men turn to look at you. Their faces are unmistakable, and you feel yourself sinking, skin burning, head spinning as it all comes back.
Their voices, touches, and threats. You're suddenly back there, in the darkness, starving, freezing, waiting, wishing for death to come before they did. You're in the basement where your screams used to echo. All of your wounds start hurting, pulsing, as if they were reopened, all over again.
You never got the names, but you'll never forget the faces. One of them, the you thought looked like Rick, has a smile on his lips. The same sick, wicked smile, the same he had every time he went to see you, never failing to draw some blood.
“Hi, (Y/N).” He says, in the same tone he used to. Low, dark, more animal than human.
What happens next is a blur. There's yelling, and Daryl suddenly isn't by your side anymore. He's a blur, moving towards both men, drawing punches. You're pulled back by someone, you don't know where, but you know it isn't Daryl. You know his touch by heart, and it's the only touch you want.
“Let go of me!” You yell, pushing whoever that was, sinking, falling backward until you hit a wall. You want to disappear again, to vanish from existence. With both hands covering your ears, you push yourself into the wall, hoping it'll absorb you, hide you.
“Take them. Now.”
“The trial happens tomorrow.”
“Lock those assholes up.”
“Enjoy your last night on Earth.”
The words have no meaning, they just keep echoing. The low chattering, the many footsteps... Why are you still here? Why can't you be strong for once and just run? Run where? If they're here... Where else could you go?
“Babygirl,” his low, calming voice is like a beacon, lighting up the darkness, bringing you back, pulling you into consciousness again. Into life.
Moving just a little, hands off your ears and muscles relaxing, you look at him, immediately running to his arms. “They're here. They're here, they... They found me.”
“Alright, calm down now.” He holds you tight, a hand rubbing your back. “Let's get ya outta here.”
Nodding, you offer no resistance when he picks you up. You keep your eyes closed, face hidden on the crook of his neck as you float away. It feels like the first time, when he was carrying you from the infirmary into what's now your house.
You flinch a little when you're pulled down, suddenly recognizing your bed and curling up, pulling the blankets over your head.
“How is she?”
“I don't know.” Daryl sounds angry, furious. “I'll kill them right now.”
“No, Daryl. The trial will be tomorrow. You know they'll die for what they did”
“I don't care!”
“You need to stay with her now.”
You know it's Carol, but still, you want her to go. You need everyone to go away now, you just need Daryl. You need to... Go away. Alexandria isn't safe anymore. You rather face the dead.
Silently, moved by fear, you get up, taking the dress off, and struggling with the first pair of jeans you find.
“(Y/N),” Daryl calls, but you ignore him, sight blurred by the tears as you put a shirt on. “Hey, (Y/N).” You don't know what to take... You just need to leave. These walls won't keep you safe anymore. If you stay... You know they'll find you again.
“I'm leaving.” You mumble, looking around and finding the white sneakers you left by the edge of the bed and putting them on.
“What–”
“I'm leaving! I can't stay here. If I stay here it'll happen all over again.” You're yelling, sitting on the bed, sobbing. “They're here, they'll take me again, they-they–”
“Shh, yer ok.” Daryl pulls you up, into his arms, and you melt. The sobs are muffled by this jacket, and your tears are certainly soaking the fabric. “Look at me, babygirl. Look at me.” Slowly, you raise your head, his blue eyes acting immediately, like a medicine made only for you. “There's a place I can take ya for the night. But ya need to be here tomorrow. To officialize their crime so I can kill those–”
“Take me away, please.” You beg, holding onto him as if he's the only thing keeping you sane. Alive. Because he is. “Please, if I stay here I'll–”
“Alright, alright.” He nods, a hand caressing your cheek. “Let's go then. C'mon.”
Everything happens in the background, you feel. Carol stays by your side in the porch, guiding you to the car Daryl took to drive you away. You barely feel your body now, out on the street, feeling their eyes on you... Their eyes, evil and disgusting, as they lust over you. You know they're not here, but still, you feel them. Wanting you to cave in, to agree to fulfill their needs in the most vile, degrading ways. You're hyperventilating when the gate opens, the woods before you suddenly looking far safer than these walls.
When Daryl crosses the gate, you let out a breath you didn't know you were holding, lungs burning. The sun is coming down, so there are a some shadows creeping in... But it's better out here. The wall will keep them inside, you hope.
“Babygirl,” Daryl says, getting your attention. “We're almost there, alright?”
“Ok.” You mumble, and Daryl puts a hand on your knee.
“Nothin’ will hurt ya. Never again. M’ gonna keep that promise.”
Holding his hand, your eyes meet his when he gives you a glance.
Around ten minutes later, Daryl stops the car. You haven't noticed before, but he parked in front of a small, wooden house. It looks like it was some kind of cabin in the woods since there are no other constructions around it. “C'mon.” He says when he opens the passenger door for you. Your legs feel a little weak, but you manage to stand up, immediately looking around. “There's nobody here, I promise ya.”
Nodding, you let him guide you inside, a flashlight on his hand. Daryl unlocks the door, and you wonder why he has the key to this thing. When you step in, the light coming from in between the planks on the windows helps you see the interior. There is a cough and a coffee table, you recognize it despite the dark plastic covering both things. Walking further in, you peak at the kitchen. Everything is clean and has a plastic placed over them. It kinda looks live someone used to live here not too long ago.
“I found this place a while ago.” Daryl starts, placing his backpack on the floor. “Was fixin’ it, cleanin’... So I could bring ya here every once in a while.” He gestures at the whole place in general, and you take another look around. He did say he'd try to find a place he could take you outside Alexandria, but you never thought it would be this good. “Still has a lot to do. Gonna put electricity, runnin’ water will be more complicated but I'll do it.”
“You're doing all that for me?” You whisper, hoping the dim light will hide your blushing cheeks.
“Yeah... Wanted to bring ya here under different circumstances but...” He takes the bag again, gesturing at the hall. “First door to the right it's our bedroom.”
Following his direction, you open the door to a small bedroom with a double bed, also covered with black plastic. The windows have wooden planks on it too, but there's enough space in between them so let some light come in.
“Here, lemme’–” Daryl drops the bag, walking over the bed and removing the plastic. Underneath, the light green sheets seem comfortable and you get it now why everything is covered up. To keep it clean. “Ya can lie down it ya want to. Brought some blankets.” As you move to the bed, Daryl searches in the bag, picking up two blankets and fixing them on the bed. “Ya hungry? Or thirsty? I brought–”
“I just need you, Daryl.” You whisper, drying off some tears that are still rolling down. “Can you come here?”
“Of course, babygirl.” Quickly, he leaves the bag behind and joins you in bed. Daryl pulls you close, you head on his chest as his arms hold you tightly, keeping you safe.
“I hope this is just a nightmare... That I'll wake up tomorrow and it'll all be gone.” Mumbling, you push yourself even closer to him, if that's even possible.
“I'll kill them myself, I swear.” There's a fire in his voice, hate. You've never heard him talking like that, his chest vibrating powerfully. “I'll wipe them off the face of Earth.”
Involuntary, your hand finds its way to your leg, to the scar. The pain is a vivid memory today, and for a moment you feel like you should lie down, as motionless as you can so it won't hurt. So the stitches won't rip again.
How is it possible that all the horrible memories came back all at once? On one second? “I-if I didn't have you, I... I'd die today, I know I would.”
“Nah, ya wouldn't.” Moving, he brings his index finger to your chin, making you look at him. “Yer stronger than ya give yourself credit for. Ya don't see it, but I do.” Then, he places a soft, sweet kiss on your lips, which is sadly, too brief. “But I will protect ya. Always, until my days are over.”
“Daryl, I–”
“I wanna marry ya.” He bursts out, his low voice burning through your head as you wonder if you heard him right. “When this is over and those monsters are dead... I wanna marry ya.”
Despite the terror, creeping through your skin, the darkness threatening to swallow you again, you smile. Everything fades away, and a different kind of happiness washes over you. A type of bliss you didn't even know existed. Unable to control yourself, you climb over him, wrapping your arms around his neck. “I love you,” you mutter, not giving him the chance to answer, connecting your lips on his in a loving, passionate kiss.
×
@funeral-7 @heyyy-hey-babyyy @twdeadfanfic @soraitmnt @winchester-angel @bvbwestfall @shawtygonemad @cameronsails @pulplorrd @browneyes528 @btsiguess-kpop @a-dlv @bibibeauelle @lightning-butterfly @yttricuz
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lucky-katebishop · 3 years
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What I Read in July 2021
Oh, man, this is gonna be a long post. I bookmarked 33 fics, all of them Harry Potter related, with a few cross-overs.
Forget-Me-Not by Lomonaaeron *favorite*
Plot: Harry isn’t the Boy-Who-Lived, but his parents still died, and Albus Dumbledore, concerned that Death Eaters might seek the boy’s death, cast a powerful charm on him to make wizards ignore him before Harry was left with the Dursleys. Except, with the Elder Wand in play, the charm was far too powerful, and made others essentially forget Harry existed when not directly interacting with him. Sorted into Ravenclaw at Hogwarts, Harry lives a contented life with no one either loving or hating him…until the charm breaks on his seventeenth birthday, and he’s suddenly plunged directly into the middle of a living world at war.
Characters: Harry, Theo Nott, Dumbledore, Neville, Ollivander, Lupin, Rabastan Lestrange, Ron, Hermione, Draco, original non-human characters, Peter Pettigrew, Umbridge
Relationships: Harry Potter/Theo Nott
Warnings: none apply
Tags: ancient runes, socially awkward Harry Potter, Ravenclaw Harry Potter, Harry Potter is not the boy-who-lived, angst, romance, horcruxes, muggleborn registration commission, blood magic
My Notes: I inhaled this in one sitting and then cried for like 10 minutes afterwards, it’s so beautifully written, it became an instant favorite
*complete*
He Turned Around by ChipOfftheOldSoul *favorite*
Plot: When the Goblet of Fire spit out Harry's name that Halloween night, he was told to join the other champions. Instead, he turned around and walked away.
Characters: Harry, Snape, Draco, Ron, Hermione, Victor Krum, Cedric Diggory, Fleur Delacour, Pansy Parkinson, Blaise Zabini, Crabbe, Goyle, Daphne Greengrass, Fred & George, Marcus Flint, Millicent Bulstrode, Tracey Davis
Relationships: Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter; Harry Potter & Severus Snape; Draco Malfoy & Severus Snape
Warnings: implied/referenced child abuse, mentioned homophobia
Tags: book 4, good Severus Snape, good Draco Malfoy, good Slytherins, smart Harry Potter, Dumbledore bashing, manipulative Dumbledore, past child abuse, runes, slow burn, enemies to friends to lovers, Slytherin Harry Potter, Hogwarts House re-sort, no Ron bashing but he’s not great for a while
My Notes: I’ve already read this twice in less than a week period and I cannot wait until it’s updated (hopefully it’ll be updated) and I absolutely love the way it’s written and Harry’s characterization. I also very much appreciate that there won’t be Ron bashing, I’ve read too many Ron bashing fics, but I am here for all of the Dumbledore bashing!
*incomplete* [last updated June 2021]
Stars by LilyIsAwesomerThanYou
Plot: When Snape discovers Harry's abusive past during an Occlumency lesson, Harry panics. Snape is forced to take care of him in the aftermath. Mentor/guardian fic. As always, no slash.
Characters: Harry Potter, Severus Snape, Dumbledore, Ron, Hermione
Relationships: Gen
Warnings: implied/referenced child abuse, emotional/psychological abuse, suicidal thoughts, suicide attempt, depression
Tags: Severitus, angst, drama, past abuse, hurt/comfort, mentor Snape, guardian Snape, occlumency
My Notes: Snape is a dick in this one, and so far he has not gotten any better, just a warning, but there’s some great Harry angst going on here (that’s why I bookmarked it). Yeah, Snape is pretty evil in this one, there’s some victim blaming and just straight up verbal abuse from him.
*incomplete* [last updated 2018]
violet hill by rejectedreality
Plot: Where Harriet Potter is Steve Rogers and Bucky Barnes’ soulmate.
Fandoms: Harry Potter & MCU
Characters: Bucky Barnes, Harry Potter, Steve Rogers, Hermione, Ron
Relationships: Bucky Barnes/Harry Potter; Steve Rogers/Harry Potter; Bucky Barnes/Steve Rogers; Bucky/Steve/Harry
Warnings: implied/referenced child abuse, emotional/psychological abuse
Tags: fem!Harry Potter, soulmate-identifying marks, age difference, angst with a happy ending, it gets worse before it gets better
My Notes: this is so, so, so fucking beautiful! I am straight up in love with this fic, and I am so sad that it hasn’t been updated for a few years because there was so much potential. There are some hints at underage couples, as Harry’s 15 while Bucky and Steve are adults, but nothing actually happens.
*incomplete* [last updated 2017]
trapped in a blue haze by MourningElegance
Plot: “And in that moment, Draco knows. He knows that all his deep-rooted suspicions about Harry’s childhood are terribly, horribly true.” As their relationship grows, so do Draco’s misgivings about Harry’s past.
Rating: Explicit!!!
Characters: Harry, Draco
Relationships: Harry/Draco
Warnings: explicit sexual content, implied/referenced child abuse
Tags: established relationship, smut, porn with plot, explicit sexual content, fluff and angst, hurt/comfort, cuddling, post-war, post-Hogwarts, auror Harry Potter, POV Draco, character study, sickfic, epilogue what epilogue, injury
*complete*
From the Dungeons by huntersg1rl
Plot: One conversation goes slightly differently. How much does it change? Features a caring Snape, supportive Malfoys, strong friendships, and Slytherin Harry.
Characters: Harry, Draco, Blaise, Pansy, Daphne, Snape, Narcissa, Lucius, Sirius, Remus, Pomfrey, Dumbledore
Relationships: pre-Harry/Draco; Severus Snape & Harry Potter
Warnings: implied/referenced child abuse
Tags: Slytherin Harry Potter, Good Severus Snape, good Lucius Malfoy, good Narcissa Malfoy, manipulative Dumbledore, POC Harry, animagus transformation, wizengamot, politics and culture
My Notes: YA’LL! This one is so cool! It’s going under some major maintenance at the moment, so it’ll be a bit of a wait until it gets going again but I recommend reading it immediately before the changes get enacted. I don’t want to spoil anything, but Harry’s a BAMF in this series, especially when we get to book 3
*incomplete* [this is a series, first three parts are completed, last updated February 2021]
Fighting for Freedom by dreamsofmermaids
Plot: At the end of a horrific fourth year, Harry overhears something on the train back to London that sets in motion a series of events that will reveal truths, change decisions, and send Harry on a path to true freedom. But nothing comes without a fight.
Fandoms: Harry Potter & Criminal Minds
Characters: Harry, Snape, Aaron Hotchner, Spencer Reid, Jason Gideon, Emily Prentiss, Sirius Black, Voldemort
Relationships: to be announced (I know, I’m sorry, I hate this too)
Warnings: graphic depictions of violence, major character death, attempted sexual assault, implied/referenced child abuse, suicide attempt, kidnapping
Tags: Dumbledore bashing, Weasley bashing, Hermione bashing, Harry runs away, Snape bashing, not so evil Voldemort, trouble magnet!Harry
My Notes: this one is really good and it features a Harry and Dobby friendship. I’m gonna spoil it right now, Hotchner is Harry’s dad, I hate it when it doesn’t state it in the tags
*incomplete* [last updated February 2021]
From Grace by silver_fish *favorite*
Plot: From the top of the Astronomy Tower, the stars always look brighter. Funny, how Harry can’t seem to find them at all anymore.
Characters: Harry, Snape, Hermione, Ron
Relationships: Harry & Snape
Warnings: suicidal thoughts, implied/referenced child abuse, attempted suicide
Tags: set during Ootp, insomnia, nightmares, teenage angst, emotional hurt/comfort
*complete*
A Beautiful Lie by Panis_fluvium
Plot: Harry receives his letter while the Dursley's are on vacation. Harry takes it upon himself to find out if the letters he receives are true or if someone is playing a massive joke on him. What happens when he journey's to Diagon Alley alone? What happens when he finally gets to school? Will he finally fit in? Will he finally escape the abuse?
Characters: Harry, Draco, Snape, Dumbledore, McGonagall, Blaise, Pansy, Ron, Hermione
Relationships: Draco/Harry; Pansy/Blaise; Snape/?
Warnings: graphic depictions of violence, implied/referenced child abuse
Tags: Severitus, Slytherin Harry, bullying, shy Harry, slight Ron bashing, fairly good Voldie, misunderstood darkside, manipulative Dumbledore
*incomplete* [last updated June 2021]
The heir of something or other by diregewithoutmusic
Plot: When kids in the Slytherin Common Room tossed jeers at the pudgy feet of Millicent Bulstrode, Harry rose up to do something about it. This Harry, now one of Snape’s own, got fewer House points lost but many more detentions– it had never been the colors on his hem that Severus hated. This was not wishing Harry an easy path. This was not wishing the boy a warm House. This was Harry, three weeks in, sleep deprived and considering running away and going back to Privet Drive. This was Harry in the back of Potions class, blank-faced under Snape’s disdain the way he’d perfected under the Dursleys’s torments. When Quirrell shouted “troll in the dungeons, thought you ought to know,” and Harry overheard that there was a girl in the bathroom crying, he still ran off to make sure she got out okay. He hesitated first, at the back of the little pack of Slytherin first years (at the back so that no one could get behind him)– he hesitated. And Millicent Bulstrode, who could never quite keep her tummy tucked in enough, could never brush all the cat hair off her robes, never quite keep her temper in check, hesitated, too.
Characters: Harry, Millicent, Colin Creevey, Hermione, Dennis Creevey, Luna, Ron, Draco, Astoria, Daphne, Pansy, Neville, Susan Bones
Relationships: gen
Warnings: major character death
Tags: Slytherin Harry, canon typical violence
My Notes: this made me cry. It like actually made me cry. I don’t cry when I read fanfiction, but this one actually made me cry, it’s been two weeks and I still feel like crying thinking about this fic, but that being said it’s written so beautifully.
*complete*
Conditionally by Lomonaaeren
Plot: Harry finds out that he's Snape's son. It goes as badly as possible.
Characters: Harry, Snape, Dumbledore, Sirius, Hermione, Ron, Seamus, Umbridge, Rita, Neville, Voldemort
Relationships: minor Lily/Snape; Harry & Snape; Hermione & Ron & Harry
Warnings: graphic depictions of violence, suicidal thoughts, minor character death
Tags: Severitus, present tense, powerful Harry, Snape is Harry’s biological father, unhealthy coping mechanisms, independent Harry
My Notes: wow this one made me so mad for Harry. Sirius and Remus are not Harry’s friends, nor Dumbledore. Be warned, as good as this fic is, you will be very angry at all the adults in this fic. Snape isn’t a loving father type, and their relationship isn’t the greatest but it’s better than nothing by the end.
*complete*
Harry Potter and the Secrets Within by WhoWroteThis
Plot: Harry Potter is a very special, but very abused little boy. When a giant drags him into a world unknown, he'll need all the help he can get to understand his newfound belonging. Lucky for him, he has a snake, a dragon, and a horde of protective allies on his side.
Characters: Harry, original animal characters, Snape, Draco, Lucius and Narcissa, Portrait Salazar Slytherin, Basilisk, Blaise, Hogwarts ghosts, Quirrell, Voldemort
Relationships: Harry & Voldemort; Harry & Draco; Harry & Snape
Warnings: implied/referenced child abuse, internalized homophobia, implied/referenced alcohol abuse, suicide threats and thoughts
Tags: Harry Potter needs a hug, parseltongue, Harry Potter has a pet snake, powerful Harry, metamorphmagus Harry, good Malfoy family, Slytherin Harry, slow burn, Slytherin politics, Hagrid bashing, Hermione bashing, Ron bashing, Dumbledore bashing, rituals, centaurs, dragons, cats, snakes
My Notes: I will literally never be trustworthy of the basilisk after reading Antithesis but I have to admit the basilisk in this fic is pretty great
*incomplete* [last updated August 2021]
The Tainted Blood of the Father by StarLight_Massacre *favorite*
Fandoms: Supernatural & Harry Potter
Plot: Harry has broken away from his chains after the Dursleys go too far. A simple desire to make a withdrawal from Gringotts leads to something much larger and exposes more than he ever knew about himself. A rushed, impulsive trip to America changes his entire life as he might have just found himself a true family to call his own.
Characters: Harry, John Winchester, Dean Winchester, Sam Winchester, Bobby
Relationships: Gen
Warnings: graphic depictions of violence, implied/referenced child abuse, attempted sexual assault
Tags: Awkward Winchesters trying to deal with Harry, cinnamon roll Harry
My Notes: The dynamic between Harry and the Winchesters shouldn’t work this well, but they absolutely do. Harry is a little Sam, he acts so much like him it’s so cute and everyone finds it so cute. Really great amount of angst and hurt/comfort. Doesn’t deal with the wizard side of things that much but I expect that’ll change in the upcoming chapters. Author has stated they don’t know if the Winchesters ever will find out that Harry’s a wizard, however, so keep that in mind
*incomplete* [last updated April 2021]
On a Pale Horse by Hyliian
Plot: When Dumbledore tried to summon a hero from another world to deal with their Dark Lord problem, this probably wasn't what he had in mind.
Characters: Harry, Death, Dumbledore, Hermione, Remus, Voldemort, Ron
Relationships: Gen
Warnings: none
Tags: master of death Harry, dimension travel, summoning rituals gone horribly wrong, godlike Harry, Dumbledore bashing, crack treated seriously, does major character death count as a tag when the major character is Death?
My Notes: so absolutely creepy, I love it so much, our Harry is not really all that much like Harry at all because he’s an immortal eldritch being of horror
*incomplete* [last updated 2018]
tell me whether he is dead by LullabyKnell *favorite*
Plot: Harry suffers a few side-effects of dying but not dying. “Hey, can someone help me with this? The mirror in the bedroom’s stopped working for me. “What do you mean ‘the mirror’s stopped working’?”
Characters: Harry, Ron, Hermione
Relationships: Harry/Ron/Hermione
Warnings: none
Tags: post-canon, epilogue what epilogue, post-battle of Hogwarts, post-Deathly Hallows, haunting, implied/referenced character death, gen or pre-slash, fluff and angst, oblivious Harry, master of death Harry
My Notes: so fucking brilliant, this author literally never misses, the relationship between the golden trio is so fucking cute and I love them so much
*complete*
A New Place to Stay by DebsTheSlytherinSnapeFan *favorite*
Plot: Harry Potter is called up to Dumbledore's office and told he was being moved elsewhere to keep him safe. He no longer has to stay at the Dursley's, but Dumbledore tells him he has to stay with Severus Snape. For a few days it seemed like a bad idea. Until Severus Snape uncovers the truth of who Harry Potter really is and what he's been through. Watch as Severus does as nobody else has done before him. He takes care of Harry. Watch him flourish into who he was meant to be, a boy with the heart of a Gryffindor and smarts of a Slytherin. The Dursley's, Umbridge and Dumbledore had better watch out Severus is out for revenge. Spy or no spy, Severus is not allowing anyone away with hurting Harry.
Characters: Snape, Harry, Dumbledore, Neville, Luna, Hermione, Ron
Relationships: Gen
Warnings: implied/referenced child abuse
Tags: Severitus
My Notes: I’ve read so many of these types of fics that even though this is more than 300k words I can’t remember a single thing about this but it must’ve been good because I labelled it as favorite, so
*complete*
Silver Lining by BloodyRed_Queen
Plot: Harry has a disastrous Summer with the Dursleys and is brought to Hogwarts early. In order to protect him, drastic measures are taken and Harry finds himself living with one Severus Snape.
Characters: Harry, Blaise, Draco, Snape
Relationships: Harry/Blaise; Harry & Snape
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con, implied/referenced child abuse
Tags: animagus, father-son relationship, severitus, Snape adopts Harry, good Slytherins, Ron bashing, Dumbledore bashing, therapy, manipulative Dumbledore
*complete*
truth’s like blood underneath your fingernails by Choices_We_Make, questionsthemselves
Plot: "Slytherin would do well, help you on the path to greatness," the hat seems to be coaxing him, but for something that can read his mind, it sure doesn't seem to know him very well. Harry doesn't want greatness. He doesn't need his name in lights and on everyone's lips. He wants meals, hot ones, whenever he wants, with people that he likes and that like him. Friends he can have adventures with, huddle under the blankets with at night and laugh with. People who might think… think he's worth something. In which Harry is sorted into Slytherin, and Snape deals with the fallout.
Characters: Harry, Snape, Draco, Theo, Blaise
Relationships: Harry & Snape
Warnings: implied/referenced child abuse
Tags: Slytherin Harry, Severitus sort of, angst with a sort of hopeful ending, Snape discovers abuse
*complete* [part of a series, incomplete but first two parts are finished, last updated 2018]
Harry Potter and the Immortal’s Playground by May_May_o_o
Fandoms: MCU & Harry Potter
Plot: Living forever isn't all it's cracked up to be. Harry Potter learns the meaning of immortality when everyone he loves dies again and again after becoming the master of death. After millennia of love lost, Death sends him to "Elsewhere" in order to give his master something new and different. Harry emerges from ash in New Asgard. What's a man like Thor to do but offer the traveler a home?
Characters: Harry, Ron, Hermione, Luna, Death, Tony Stark, Steve Rogers, Clint, Natasha, Loki, Thor, Bruce, May Parker
Relationships: Harry/Ginny; Thor/Harry; Harry & Avengers
Warnings: PTSD, suicide attempts
Tags: master of death Harry, magically powerful Harry, panic attacks, hurt/comfort, post-snap
My Notes: I don’t usually like Harry paired with any of the Avengers other than Peter, but Thor and Harry are so soft and written beautifully, I love this author so much
*incomplete* [last updated June 2021]
Another Mind Game by May_May_o_o *favorite*
Plot: Harry’s occlumency reveals his disturbing home life which sets off a chain reaction that cannot be undone. Snape finds himself begrudgingly caring about the bespectacled boy, Harry discovers what it's like to have adults who care, and Hermione finds herself becoming an accidental crime lord. Draco Malfoy is very much along for the ride, in all senses of the word. A ridiculous blend of hilarity and tragedy, Another Mind Game is the multi-faceted fanfiction you didn't know you wanted but will absolutely adore. Featuring a sassy Harry Potter, good friends, and a great deal of sarcasm.
Characters: Harry, Neville, Hermione, George, Fred, Snape, Ron, Luna, McGonagall, Dumbledore, house elves
Relationships: Draco/Harry; Hermione/Ron; Snape & Harry
Warnings: implied/referenced child abuse; presumed suicidal (it makes sense when you read it)
Tags: mentor Snape, strong Harry, sassy Harry, slow burn, fluff and angst, Dumbledore bashing, crack treated seriously, Snape adopts Harry, protective Hogwarts, magically powerful Harry
My Notes: favorite, absolute favorite, read it three times already and it’s only been three weeks! The endnotes are so funny and add a lot of levity to the story
*complete* (unfortunately, I wish I could read more)
Not Just Pretty Words by LullabyKnell
Fandoms: Harry Potter & The Addams Family
Plot: On an unexpected holiday to America, Harry Potter meets a strange girl at a zoo, finds out that he's a witch, steals a snake, and is cordially invited to the Addams mansion for dinner.
Characters: Harry, Wednesday, Morticia, Gomez
Relationships: Gen; Addams Family & Harry
Warnings: implied/referenced child abuse
Tags: Harry needs a hug, worldbuilding, happy ending, found family, light angst
*complete*
Bruised Words by starknjarvis
Plot: After Harry blows up Aunt Marge, Dumbledore decides it's not safe for Harry to spend the rest of the summer at the Leaky Cauldron, and instead sends him to stay at Spinner’s End with Professor Snape. It's tense, awkward, and teeming with misunderstandings...but it might be the best thing that's happened to either of them. They're both been without a family for a very long time.
Characters: Harry, Snape, Dumbledore
Relationships: Harry & Snape
Warnings: implied/referenced child abuse
Tags: traumatized Harry, miscommunications, Snape adopts Harry, sickfic
*complete* [part of series, incomplete, last updated 2020]
The Freak Who Lived by DeviantHufflepuff, Zaharya
Plot: When Harry's name comes out of the Goblet of Fire, he is kicked out of Gryffindor Tower by those he thought of as friends. It isn't until Snape finds him that the truth comes out about The Boy Who Lived.
Characters: Harry, Snape, Pomfrey, McGonagall, Viktor Krum, Fleur, Cedric, Draco, Neville, Blaise
Relationships: Sirius/Remus; Harry & Snape; Harry/Blaise
Warnings: graphic depictions of violence, implied/referenced child abuse, PTSD, trauma induced age regression (not intense), suicidal thoughts
Tags: book 4, Severitus, Snape adopts Harry, panic attacks, seer Luna, Harry needs a hug, McGonagall is basically Harry’s mom, manipulative Dumbledore but he’s not evil, big brother Draco
My Notes: Snape is pretty cuddly in this one, he’s not shy with feelings and showing Harry that he’s loved which is nice and a nice change from other Severitus fics. Don’t be off-put by the age regression tag, it’s super low-key, there’s only a couple throw-away lines about it.
*incomplete* [last updated February 2021]
Dudley Dursley’s Most Unexpectedly Fortunate Flower by aTasteofCaramell
Plot: Dudley Dursley is leading a perfectly normal life, his contact with his odd cousin limited to Christmas cards and peculiar memories. Until his daughter sneezes and sets the curtains on fire.
Characters: Harry, Dudley, Dudley’s children, Petunia and Vernon Dursley
Relationships: Dudley & Harry; Harry/Ginny
Warnings: none
Tags: humor, Dudley has a magical child, redeemed Dudley, post-series, Petunia and Vernon still suck, Harry Potter Next Generation
*complete*
Unexpected Consequences by Siebenschlaefer
Plot: The Ministry letter after the Dementor attack has far greater consequences than everybody could have anticipated and at the start of his fifth year in Hogwarts Harry has to be sorted again. And this time there is no negotiating with the Sorting Hat.
Characters: Harry, Snape, Draco, Dumbledore, Hermione, Sirius, Lupin, Blaise, Ron
Relationships: Snape & Harry
Warnings: implied/referenced child abuse
Tags: Slytherin Harry, resorting
*incomplete* [last updated March 2021]
Stinging Nettle and Milking Pails by Oceanbreeze7 *favorite*
Plot: Are you a witch or / Are you a fairy? / Or are you the wife / of Michael Cleary? “The fairies will do wicked things sometimes,” Harry murmured gently, “Steal the milk when they get a chance, or skim the cream off the milk crocks.” “Do they ever steal anything more?” Luna asked him rhetorically. Harry couldn’t answer.
Characters: Harry, Luna, James, Lily
Warnings: author chose not to use warnings
Tags: wrong-boy-who-lived, Harry has a twin, dark fairy tale elements, fairy tale style, druids, fae and fairies, James and Lily live
My Notes: Oceanbreeze7 should straight up be a horror writer. This is the writer who wrote Antithesis, the fic that I was literally unable to finish because I was too heartbroken, and they did not disappoint with this one! It’s so good! It’s so horrific! It’s so heartbreaking!
*complete*
Sarcasm and Slytherin by orphan_account *favorite*
Plot: After ten years of misery with the Dursleys, Harry Potter learns that he has magic. Except, in this story, it's not a surprise-the only surprise is that there are others like him. Including his twin brother, Julian Potter, the savior of the Wizarding world. This isn't the Harry you think you know.
Characters: Harry, Theo, Blaise, OMC, Hermione, Ron, Neville, James Potter, Luna, Daphne, Snape, Dumbledore
Relationships: none
Warnings: implied/referenced child abuse
Tags: wrong-boy-who-lived, Slytherin Harry, Harry has a twin, Slytherin politics, no pairings before 4th year, potential Dumbledore bashing, James bashing, potential Snape bashing, Draco’s still annoying
My Notes: I’m not sure why it’s now an orphan account or if it will ever be updated, but I’ve seen a lot of people on reddit compare this with Prince of Slytherin (a series I haven’t read because I chose this one over it) so be cautious of that. I straight up want to murder James Potter, though, so that’s a nice thought. I finally finished it! I started this back in early June and I miss it a lot, I spent many hours reading this.
*incomplete* [five parts, last updated 2019]
The ones that seek and find (six years in the relationship of harry and luna) by Terapsina
Plot: By chance of fate Harry Potter meets Luna Lovegood in his second year instead of his fifth. It doesn’t really change anything for the magical world at large but it changes quite a lot for the young witch and wizard themselves. Here are six glimpses into their relationship from the moment they meet until the end of the war.
Characters: Harry, Luna, Ron, Hermione
Relationships: Luna/Harry; Harry & Ron & Hermione
Warnings: implied/referenced child abuse, canonical character death
Tags: fluff and angst, blood quill, angst with a happy ending, no character bashing, epilogue what epilogue
*complete*
Blame it on the Nargles by Pixiestick_cc
Plot: One kiss under the mistletoe changes everything for Harry and Luna.
Characters: Harry, Luna, Hermione, Ron, Lavender Brown, Xenophilius Lovegood, Fred and George, Percy
Relationships: Luna/Harry
Warnings: none
Tags: fluff, romantic friendship, kissing, book 6
My Notes: this one is so cute, I’ve read it five times already, Harry’s able to see the creatures Luna can when he kisses her!
*complete*
Finders, Keepers by Magi_Silverwolf
Plot: “I’m here to kidnap you,” Luna said. “Will you be so kind as to get in this trunk, please?” “I’m fairly certain that kidnappers aren’t supposed to politely ask you to go with them.” “Duly noted,” Luna commented before gesturing to the trunk again. “Get in, Harry. We have a schedule to keep.”
Characters: Harry, Dumbledore, Luna
Relationships: Luna/Harry
Warnings: implied/referenced child abuse
Tags: book 5, fairy Luna, werewolf Remus, magically powerful Harry, manipulative Dumbledore
*complete*
Not Right For Him by JJ Rust
Plot: How will Hermione react when she learns Harry and Luna are together?
Characters: Hermione, Luna, Harry
Relationships: Harry/Luna
Warnings: none apply
Tags: romance, drama
*complete*
The dreamy one by Levi Snowfractal
Plot: Harry finds himself thinking about Luna Lovegood while in detention.
Characters: Harry, Luna
Relationships: Harry/Luna
Warnings: none apply
Tags: romance
*complete*
She Made Him Feel Silly by ArtemisRoseShadow
Plot: The hero usually fell in love with the ever-so-loved princess. It still felt like that to Harry.
Characters: Harry, Luna
Relationships: Harry/Luna
Warnings: none apply
Tags: romance, drama
*complete*
Oh thank god I finished that, that took three hours. Alright check out more of my recs, I have more! Thanks for reading, let me know if you read any of them :)
19 notes · View notes
reidingandwriting · 4 years
Text
Home
Word Count: ~4,100 words
Ship: Emily Prentiss x Fem!Reader
Warnings: Mention of injury (concussion), drinking (all characters of legal age)
A/N: Since there are quite a few flashbacks, and some of them are long, I’ve set off the flashbacks in dashes (------) instead of having big blocks of texts in italics. I might change them to italics depending on how they read!
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Emily Prentiss didn’t believe in soulmates. Well, she didn’t believe she had one. Except for the occasional fling, Emily’s love life was practically non-existent. Maybe it was for the better that way. She was a strong and independent woman, thank you very much, and she didn’t need a man or a woman to complete her. Besides, she could always get a cat.
Y/N Y/L/N was a hopeless romantic. You loved the idea of having a soulmate, someone who was made for you, someone who just gets you. You hadn’t met your soulmate yet, but you were a strong believer in fate. When the universe was ready for you to meet your soulmate, you’d meet them. God, you hoped you’d meet them soon. But it’s not like your soulmate was the only thing on your mind. You had gotten your masters degree before you applied for the FBI Academy. You then were assigned to work in the Violent Crimes Against Children department, where you worked your ass off until you got the news you had been waiting for since you graduated from college: you were joining the FBI’s Behavioral Analysis Unit. 
Working with the BAU was a dream come true for you. The cases were hard and long, the criminals involved really made you question if there was any good in humanity at times. But the good moments? You would never forget them. 
------
You laid back in your seat on the plane and closed your eyes with a sigh. You had just finished your first case and you were on the flight back to headquarters. You couldn’t wait to see your bed again. You opened one of your eyes when you heard someone sit beside you but closed it again when you saw Derek.
“Hey, pretty girl. How do you feel?” You dragged your hand over your face and looked up at the man you would soon grow close to. 
“Exhausted. Happy the case is over and that we saved the last victim. I wish we could have saved the others.” You sighed. “But at least the families of the missing women have closure now.” 
“Unfortunately we can’t save everyone. But with everybody we save, it makes the job easier. You did great, kid. And you’ll get better with every case.” You smiled at Derek’s words and leaned your head against his shoulder. 
“Thanks, Morgan.” You felt your eyes grow heavy and you yawned. “I’m using you as a pillow now, hope you weren’t planning on moving anytime soon.” Derek’s shoulder shook with laughter, and he rested his head against yours. 
“Rest up, Y/L/N. You’ve earned it.”
------
Over the last eighteen months, you had grown close to the team you now considered your family. There were many lows and many highs during your career, as well as many unexpected twists. The best unexpected part? Meeting Agent Emily Prentiss. You had just gotten back to headquarters when you met her.
------
“Hey, Y/N. Garcia, JJ, Reid, and I are going to Freddy’s for dinner. We’ve got room for one more if you want to come.” Derek asked as he gathered his things from his desk. You were seated at your own desk, papers strewn across the space. 
“I think I’m gonna head home once I handle,” you gestured to the mess, “all this.” Derek chuckled and put his jacket on.
“Don’t stay too late, we don’t need two people living here.” Derek nodded up towards Hotch’s office. You looked up and your brows furrowed when you saw two silhouettes in the office.  
“I’ll head out soon. Don’t do anything I wouldn’t.” You and Derek exchanged goodbyes, your gaze not leaving the window as you heard everyone leave. You shook your head to clear your thoughts and began to organize your desk. You strained to decipher the muffled voices coming from your boss’s office and perked up when you heard an unfamiliar woman’s voice.
“I promise you won’t regret this.” You heard her footsteps as she walked out of Hotch’s office and you looked up as she walked down the stairs. Your eyes traveled up her body until you saw the box in her hands and then met her eyes. Her beautiful brown eyes. Her dark hair fell to her shoulders, and there was a smile on her face. She looked proud, but also relieved, and she tried to appear neutral. You didn’t know how long you had been watching her before she spoke to you. “Hi. I’m Emily Prentiss.” Emily shifted the box in her hands to prop it against her hip and held her hand out. You stood up, shook her hand, and offered a polite smile.
“I’m Y/N Y/L/N. Oh! You can set your things on my desk.” Emily smiled gratefully at you and set the box down. “Facilities management has probably left already, they won’t be back until morning. You’re more than welcome to keep everything here if you want, they’ll be safe. Unless you have coffee stashed away in there, then I might have to charge a storage fee.” Emily’s laughter filled your ears and your heart skipped a beat at the sound. New life goal, make this gorgeous woman laugh as much as you can. “The coffee here is less than appealing, so I recommend buying your own. There’s a shop across the street, they make amazing lattes. I’m sorry, I’m rambling, and you probably have places to be.”
“You’re fine, I promise.” Emily reassured and her phone buzzed in her pocket. “But I do need to take this.”
“And I should head out. I can hear my bed calling my name from here.” You picked at the sleeve of your shirt subconsciously, which of course Emily noticed. Gotta love profilers. “I’ll, uh, see you tomorrow?” 
“Bright and early.”
“Don’t remind me.” You groaned before you grabbed your bag from your chair. “Goodnight, Prentiss.”
“Goodnight.” And if you came to work the next morning with a cup of coffee on your desk, that was no one’s business except for yours and Emily’s. Little did either of you know that you had met your soulmate. You were getting ready for a run the first time you noticed something was off.
------
“Yes, Derek. I’ll be in the lobby in five minutes. You know, you’re really impatient.” You teased as you walked to your closet to grab a pair of shoes. 
“And you’re late.”
“Am not! You said we’d meet at six, I still have a few minutes.” As you bent down to grab your running shoes, your brows furrowed when you noticed a red tank top on the floor. “Huh.”
“Everything okay?” Derek asked.
“Yeah, yeah. I just found something I forgot I bought. I’ll be down in a minute, and I’ll buy smoothies after. Since I’m so late.” 
“Chop, chop, pretty girl.” Derek hung up and you grabbed the shirt from the floor and examined it. It had been worn quite often, so you knew it wasn’t yours. Or was it? You shrugged but tossed the shirt towards your laundry hamper. That was a problem for another day. You quickly slid your shoes on and left your apartment. You made your way downstairs, Derek and you being the only ones in the lobby at the time. 
“I’m here, I’m here. Sorry, late start.” You said as you walked over. “Our usual path?”
“Lead the way, Y/L/N.”
------
You brushed off the shirt as simply being forgetful. You had bought a lot of clothes when you moved for your job, it must have been forgotten in the back of your closet. You figured it was a one time thing, and the possibility of soulmates never even crossed your mind. It had been nearly a month since the red shirt incident, and nothing else odd had happened since. Until…
------
“That’s a new necklace. Where’d you get it?” Penelope asked as you both stepped off the elevator. 
“I honestly can’t remember buying it.” You shrugged. “I must have gotten it a while ago, but I don’t remember wearing it before.” As you walked towards the conference room, Prentiss walked out of the mini kitchen with JJ. 
“Yeah, I don’t know what happened to it. I thought I had it on my nightstand, but I went to put it on this morning, and it was gone.” Emily said and ran her hand through her hair.
“We can go to my favorite store to look for a replacement tonight if we aren’t on a new case.” Jennifer offered. Emily smiled gratefully at her as the pair walked towards the conference room. Rossi left his office and walked towards the stairs. As he reached the stairs, he met Aaron who stepped into sync with him. 
“What are you thinking about?” Hotch asked as he looked at Dave. 
“Oh, not much. Just wondering who we’ll be chasing on our next case.” Rossi said. Just the fact two of our profilers are oblivious soulmates, he thought.
------
Over the next couple of weeks, you and Emily both found little things scattered across your homes. It sounded weird to admit, but it made Emily’s days better when she found something of her soulmate’s in her apartment. Everything you had lost helped her understand you more- she really felt like she was getting to know you. Emily smiled when she found (your favorite book) in her room, and she couldn’t help but read the book with a dopey smile on her face. God, she couldn’t wait to meet you, whoever you were. Little did either of you know, that day would come closer than you thought.
*Baddies of the BAU group chat*
Pen: girls!!!
Pen: it’s someone’s birthday monday
Pen: @ Y/N
Jayje: our baby’s turning 30! 
Jayje: all grown up
Em<3: we’re celebrating, right?
Y/N: i’d honestly be happy with the weekend off
Y/N: or some of rossi’s scotch
Pen: i can’t promise that, but i can promise you a night of drinks
Pen: our usual time and place tonight?
Jayje: i’ll be there!
Em<3: so will i. Y/N?
Y/N: how could i say no?
Y/N: see you tonight my loves!
*End of chat*
“Derek, I need a favor.” Emily said as she paced across her apartment. Derek’s brows furrowed as he heard all the noise in the background. 
“Of course. Is everything okay?”
“No.” Emily groaned. “Well, yeah, just… shit. I can’t find my keys. And yeah, I could call an Uber, but-”
“I’ll give you a ride. Wonder if your soulmate found your keys.” Emily could hear the smirk in Derek’s voice, and she rolled her eyes.
“With my luck, they’re an ocean away. Thanks, Morgan.”
-
“Spence, what are the odds of me actually meeting my soulmate?”
“Statistically,” Spencer trailed off, “not the greatest. Soulmates aren’t guaranteed to be living in the same geographical area as you, not even the same timeline really. There’s theories about past lives, it’s actually really fascinating.” A pause. “Sorry, that wasn’t an answer. There’s a 3.7 percent chance of you meeting your soulmate. An even lower chance you actually make the connection that they are your soulmate.” “So the chance of me living in the same city as my soulmate and knowing who they are is practically impossible.” You said as you held a familiar keychain in your hand. A keychain that was nearly identical to yours. You had thought it was yours, absentmindedly grabbing the set of keys from your coffee table as you started to leave, until you tried to lock your door. 
“You know who they are?”
“Uh huh.”
“Are you going to say anything to them?”
“Oh yeah.” You tucked the keys into your bag before you grabbed yours. “Sooner than later.”
------
You were seated next to Rossi, talking to Penelope from across the table, and you laughed when Rossi chimed in, agreeing with you. You rested your hand on his shoulder and Penelope grumbled something about favoritism under her breath while JJ laughed.
“You’re my favorite person, Pen.” JJ said, which then caused Reid to protest from his seat. Hotch shook his head, but everyone saw the fond smile on his lips. The energy at the table was light and carefree, something that didn’t happen often enough.
“Got room for two more?” You looked up and smiled when you saw Derek walk in, Emily a few steps behind him. 
“Hmm, I think we’ll take you. If you get our first round.” Derek playfully sighed.
“Deal. Only because you’re the birthday girl. Almost the birthday girl.” He ruffled your hair before he walked towards the bar, and Rossi stood up. 
“I’ll go help him carry everything. Take a seat.” Dave patted Emily’s shoulder as he walked past her to help Morgan. Emily took a seat beside you, and it didn’t take a profiler to notice the change in your demeanor. She noticed how your movements were more calculated and thought out. Any other time you wouldn’t be afraid to be handsy with her, your shoulders would brush together a little more often than necessary, your legs against each other’s. But today, there was distance. Not enough to be noticeable to anyone who didn’t know the dynamic between the two women, but to Emily, you might as well have been worlds apart. After a few drinks, Hotch and Rossi had made their way to the bar, and they watched their ‘children’. Morgan and Garcia were dancing together, Reid in between the pair, much to his protesting. 
“Come on, boy wonder, we aren’t leaving until you’ve danced at least once.” Garcia had said as she pulled Spencer to the floor. You stirred your drink as you leaned against the upholstered booth, Emily and JJ on the other side of the dance floor. You smiled at everyone and didn’t notice Dave walk up behind you.
“You can’t avoid her all night.” You jumped at the sound of his voice and looked back towards him. “I’m not the best person to give advice on love, but I have been married a few times. So I know a little something.”
“I’m not avoiding her- wait, how did you know?” “I watched. And she happens to be missing the necklace you wore tonight.” You felt your cheeks heat up and you looked back towards Emily.
“I didn’t know it was her. Not until I found this.” You pulled the keychain  out of your bag. 
“I’m guessing there’s a story I’m missing.” Rossi took a seat beside you, and you began to explain. 
“It started when we had a case take us to Los Angeles.”
------
“I hate how my first trip to L.A. had to be when we’re chasing a serial killer.” You sighed as you opened the case file. 
“We’ve been to Los Angeles on a case before. It was your third case with us.” Spencer said absentmindedly as he read, eyes darting rapidly across the paper. 
“My second trip, my bad.” You rolled your eyes, but there was a fond smile on your lips. “But we stayed at the hotel, police department, and crime scenes. Not a second of time off.”
“What’s time off?” Gideon asked and you chuckled. 
“I really want to go one day, not as an agent, but as a tourist. Maybe when I retire.” As soon as the conversation started, it ended as Garcia popped up on screen to further discuss the case. 
-
“You would be fine if you flew, but it’s up to you ultimately. It is a long drive back, though.” The EMT spoke, and you were seated on the back of the ambulance with Hotch standing beside you. 
“Could she fly tomorrow? If she feels up to it, of course.” Aaron asked, and there was an emotion in his eyes that you couldn’t quite decipher. 
“As long as her symptoms continue to get better as time passes, she’s clear to fly. It’s all preference at this point. Just be sure to follow the instructions we gave you, and you should start feeling better soon.”
“Thank you.” The EMT dismissed herself to go check on the injured victim, and Hotch turned to you. 
“How are you feeling?”
“Like I ran into a wall.” You chuckled then winced. “I’ve had worse. The medicine will help, and I’ll feel better after some sleep tonight.”
“I’ll have Prentiss drive you back to the hotel so you can rest.” Aaron paused. “There’s a few tourist-y spots near our hotel, but they’ll be crowded until later tonight. There’s a restaurant on Fifth just a few minutes from where we’re staying, not many tourists know about it. I can send you the address if you want it.” You blushed as you looked up at Hotch. 
“Thank you, sir. Uh, how did you…?”
“You said you wanted to visit the city as a tourist, and for the Prentiss part? Let’s call it intuition.”
-
“Remind me to thank Hotch for sending us to that restaurant. That was the best dinner I’ve ever had.” Emily said and you hummed in agreement. 
“If I got this treatment every time I got injured on the field, I’d let our unsubs pistol-whip me more often.” You laughed as she shot a playful glare at you. “Easy, Prentiss. I do not enjoy any restaurant enough to have another concussion.”
“How is your head feeling? We can go back to the hotel if you’re ready.” Emily paused. “Unless you feel up for another adventure.”
“Please, take me anywhere but the hotel.” And in that moment, the whole city seemed to brighten when Emily smiled. 
“I’ve got a few places in mind.” 
By the end of the night, you had walked down the Hollywood Walk of Fame (and took countless pictures), stopped by the Kodak Theatre (“Em, it’s like we’re a part of the Academy Awards!”), and now you were in a gift shop. 
“I remember when I was younger.” You spoke, your voice soft as you looked at a display rack. “I was on a trip to New York, my high school journalism class took the entire group of us up to the city. We went to a little gift shop before we came back home. All the girls went off together, bought those little matching keychains that ‘best friends’ had, except for me. I know it’s stupid to be upset about now, but fifteen year old me felt so lonely. I just joined the school my sophomore year, everyone else had made their group of friends. And I had no one.” 
“Look at you now.” Emily said as she wrapped her arm around your shoulders and neither of you mentioned it when you automatically leaned into her touch. “You’re a profiler for the FBI, and we have some pretty amazing people we’re working with. I think it’s safe to say you’ll never have to worry about being lonely again.” Emily reached forward and grabbed a pair of keychains from the rack. “And now, you can show off your glamorous ‘I survived my trip to L.A.’ keychain to everyone.”
“Look, you can even get the back engraved. We can get something matching, we’ll be the best friends of the BAU.” You teased and Emily gasped. 
“You, Y/L/N, are a genius.”
------
You thumbed over the engraving and read it out loud. “If you ever feel alone, you can always run home.” And in the bottom corner, yours and Emily’s initials were engraved. “We promised each other. No matter how crazy this job gets, if either of us leave, if we just need a break… We can always go to each other, go ‘home.’” You let your eyes wander over to Emily, who was now dancing with Reid. The smiles on both of their faces made you smile before you turned towards Rossi. “I don’t want to mess everything up.”
“Bella,” Dave smiled sympathetically and rested a hand on your shoulder, “I haven’t ever seen someone look at each other the way you and Emily do. If anyone in the world are soulmates, it’s you two.” You stood up and wrapped your arms around him and hugged him tight. 
“Thank you for everything.” You whispered and Rossi returned your tight hug. The man was affectionately nicknamed the dad of the group, while the rest of you (with the exception of Hotch) were his children. But the role of “Papa” Rossi applied especially to you. You two had formed a bond over the months Rossi had been on the team. You were often paired together, your personalities meshing well while working on the field and during interrogations. You often went to him for advice, and Rossi was sure to offer the best hospitality possible. You’d drink the best wine and help him cook dinner while the two of you joked around and talked, Tony Bennett playing over vinyl in the background. 
“Go get her, bella.” You smiled before you stepped away from Rossi and walked over to Emily, keys now tucked into your pocket. 
“Hey, pretty girl! Look who decided to join us.” Derek said as he saw you walking over, causing Emily to look over at you. 
“I will in a minute, you better have saved me a dance. But first, um. Em, can I talk to you?” Emily’s brows furrowed but she nodded. 
“Let’s step outside, get some fresh air.” You nodded and walked out with Emily, and you chewed your lip nervously. This is it. As you walked out the door of the bar, the cool autumn air hit your face, and you took a deep breath. 
“You know, I had this big speech planned. I dreamed of the day I’d be able to meet someone, and tell them all about how I had been waiting for this day for years. And even though there’s the smallest, microscopic chance of me meeting them, I finally did. I met them. My soulmate.” You pulled the set of keys out of your pocket. “I believe these are yours. As is my necklace, according to Rossi.”
“So the extra remote I found in my living room, that was yours.” 
“That’s where it went! I really went out and had to buy a new remote, that was so annoying.” You two laughed and a comfortable silence fell over you. 
“Y/N-“
“Emily-“
“You first.” You smiled. 
“If I were to ask you on a date, let’s say for tomorrow, would you say yes?”
“I like to think I’m a pretty good cook, props to Rossi for the recipes he taught me. And I’ve finally got my Wi-Fi fixed. Dinner and a movie?” You stepped closer to her. “And maybe,” you gripped Emily’s jacket and pulled her to you. Your eyes flicked down to her lips then back to her eyes. Emily nodded and suddenly your lips were on hers. 
You always heard about that first kiss soulmates shared. How it felt like two became one, how in that moment you knew you were where you belonged. Your kiss with Emily? God, it was so much better than that. Neither you or Emily would ever forget this kiss for the rest of your lives. 
———
Some time later….
“Move over, Serg. Pretty sure she’s my girlfriend, not yours.” You settled onto the couch, balancing a bowl of popcorn, careful of the black cat taking over the couch. “Diva.” You tapped the cat’s nose lightly, and Sergio swatted at your hand before he jumped off the couch and wandered off. 
“You can’t be mean to my child, it’s against the rules.” You shot a playful glare at Emily and covered your body in a blanket, the bowl in your lap. 
“Your child? Excuse me, he’s ours.”
“Too bad he likes me more.” There was a taunting tone to her voice and you huffed.
“Alright, Prentiss. You just lost popcorn privileges because of that comment.” Emily wrapped her arms around your waist and pulled you into her, and you squealed before laughing. “Get off me!”
“Oh, you love me.” 
“I tolerate you.” You buried yourself into Emily’s side, tucked in between her and the couch, the bowl now in front of her. Emily poked your side and you giggled softly. “What’s tonight’s movie, Em?”
“50 First Dates. Penelope acted like I insulted her personally whenever I told her I haven’t seen it.” 
“Well we can’t disappoint our girl much longer. Press play, birthday girl.” 
By the end of the movie, Emily had fallen asleep. Sergio was curled up at the end of the couch, and Emily’s back was pressed to your chest. You pressed a gentle kiss to her neck before you laid back and closed your eyes. 
“Goodnight, lover. Happy birthday.”
Taglist for CM: @spidey-reids-2003​ and @ssa-sugar-tits​  ❤ If you’d like to be removed/added to a taglist, let me know!! Requests are open but may take a minute, my midterms start soon!
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purplesurveys · 4 years
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1125
survey by nadine07
[..Introductions..]
First Name: Robyn.
Middle Name: I don’t think I’ve shared it on here and I doubt I will.
Last Name: Not providing it either but it starts with a C.
Birthdate: April 21st.
[..First Things First..]
What was the first thing you did after you got up? I rushed to the rooftop so that I could see the sunrise. I also got in the random mood to do a time-lapse of it, but the sun took forrrrrrrr-freaking-ever to come up entirely. I was holding up my phone for like 15 minutes and nothing was happening, so I quit halfway through lol.
What was the name of your first pet? Goldie, because it was a goldfish.
Who was your first big crush? Gabie, I would say.
Where was the first place you drove after you got your license? Chelsea’s 18th birthday dinner was scheduled right after I happened to get my license, and the event took place in a small, quaint little restaurant in Marikina. 
There’s a bit of a funny story here, too – Aaron needed a ride to get there and so I offered to drive him. I picked him up and we were having small talk in the car, and he asked me how long I’ve been driving. I told him that moment was my literal first time driving out and that I just got my license the day before, and he is my first-ever passenger (at that point I’ve never even tried driving solo yet). The horror and immediate distrust on his face was something I will never forget HAHAHA. We got to the place unharmed, but it’s still one of my favorite stories to tell.
Who was your very first friend? It was a kind girl named Kaye back in kindergarten. We were always next to each other in our class lists, so it was inevitable for us to befriend one another. She transferred schools in first grade and I have not seen nor heard from her since.
What was the first thing you ate today? I had another bag of salted egg chips. I’m extremely hooked, lmao.
What was your first job? I work as an associate at a PR agency.
[..Colors..]
Name something red in the room you are in: We have an unopened bottle of wine here on the dining table and there’s still a red ribbon wrapped around it.
Is orange one of your school's team colors? No, neither of my schools had orange as one of its colors.
How many yellow shirts do you own? I can think of 5 tops hanging out in my wardrobe at the moment. Two of them are class shirts from high school; the others were tops I bought when I started getting into mustard yellow.
Name someone you know who drives a green car: I believe Angel, a classmate from high school who also studies in UP, also drives a Mitsubishi Mirage, albeit a lime green one.
Is it a blue sky outside right now? Yes for the most part, but the sun is setting soon so the sky is bound to change into many pretty colors as it usually does at this time of the day.
What is the first thing that pops into your head when I say 'purple'? Barney the dinosaur, and ube.
Are the walls in the room you're in white? Yes, all our walls indoors are white.
Does black make you think of depressing things? Not always, but if used specifically in that context, it definitely helps boosts the mood.
Jewelry: gold or silver? Silverrr, always.
[..Phone Stuff..]
Who is your provider? Nothing you would be familiar with, but I use Globe.
How long have you had your current phone? It’ll be three years this year. It would be nice to upgrade, but I’m also still happy with my current phone so it doesn’t really matter to me.
What did your last text say? The last one that came through that didn’t come from my mobile services provider was from someone in the media. It was his birthday last Friday and I messaged him if he’d like to receive a gift from us, on behalf of one of our clients; he just replied with his confirmation and details.
If you woke up naked next to the last person to call, would it be awkward? Yep and I’d feel like throwing up almost immediately.
Was your last missed call male or female? It was from my mom.
Who is your 10th phone contact? It’s from Jum, who I realize is still listed as Ate Jum on my phone. That’s cute hahaha; I must have gotten her number when we weren’t super close yet. Anyway, she’s been super MIA for like the last two years...basically, ever since she graduated. I believe she has also since moved back to Bicol, so it’s become virtually impossible to see her again. Bums me out and I look forward to the day we somehow end up in the same room once again.
How did you meet them? I met her in my very first journalism major class. I had mixed feelings towards her at first since I found her to be super loud in class, and I initially thought she would only be a one-time classmate and nothing more; but I got to know her more and we even ended up as orgmates, and it turns out she is literally the most hilarious person I know.
Are you related to your 17th phone contact? I have absolutely no clue who it is. I no longer remember what led to it, but Gabie and I swapped the SIM cards in our phones at one point, and for some reason it made me have access to her contacts; the 17th contact on my phone is someone from her list. And since I never hang out in my Contacts app, I’ve never gotten around to deleting those extra numbers I received.
How long have you known your 1st phone contact? Around 6th or 7th grade. I can’t remember the exact grade level she transferred to my school as a new student.
When was the last time you saw them? It’s been at least a year. I remember seeing her on campus very briefly when I was on my way to a certain building for class, while she was walking out of it.
Who is your 4th phone contact? LMAO, again, it’s from her contact list. Said person is one of her older cousins, I believe.
Have you ever kissed that person? No, and that is very weird and uncomfortable to think about.
When was the last time someone drunk dialed/texted/left a voicemail? Andi drunk messaged me a few months ago. November, I think.
[..Friends..]
Who is your #1? No Myspace but I’d say my top best friend is Angela.
How long have you known them? It will be 16 years this year.
Have you ever kissed? Oh my gosh, hell no. It would be like kissing a sister haha. She’s super affectionate and will sometimes kiss my shoulder or cheek, though.
Are you dating this person? No, never did and never desired to.
Do you have nicknames for each other? Not really exclusive to each other, but I call her Anj (and only a few people call her so) and she will occasionally call me Reben or Rolayn, both from past inside jokes.
What is your #2's full name? I am not sharing that, but I refer to them as Andi (you may remember them as Andrew from the past times I’ve mentioned them).
Do they live within 20 minutes of you? If there is zero traffic, I can probably make it to their place within that timeframe, yeah. But realistically, no they don’t.
How did you meet? We initially met in an anti-Marcos protest/rally – I approached they first because they had a wrestling shirt on, heheh – and that’s when I learned we were from the same college. But they rubbed me off the wrong way from our first meeting as they were too extroverted for my liking, and I spent a good chunk of time ignoring him whenever we crossed paths, lmfao. Eventually we were put in the same class at some point, and they even joined my org, and an intensely close friendship started from there.
Could you live with this person? Sure. I think they would never be a boring roommate.
Who is your #3? I’m gonna go with Kate for this one.
Where are they right now? I have no idea. We don’t really catch up with each other’s lives on a regular basis; we have a very chill, low-maintenance friendship.
When is this person's birthday? January 1st.
Has this person ever seen you naked? I don’t think so.
What is your #4's full name? I don’t think I have a 4th-tier best friend haha, but I’m gonna pick Tina.
When did you last see them? Last year, on the last normal day I was able to be on campus. She was set to present one of her projects at a journalism conference that was taking place in campus that day, but I was able to hang out with her for a short time before the event.
Have they ever dated one of your other friends? No. I knew she had a crush on someone from the college, though.
Do you know their favorite movie? I’m not sure about her favorite movie but I do know she loves Adam Sandler. I was never able to figure out if her interest was ironic or genuine but yeah, she enjoys a good number of his works.
[..Randomosity..]
What time is it? 6:20 PM.
Are you supposed to be doing something other than this? I wouldn’t say so. I do have deliverables for work but since it’s the weekend, I’m not thinking about them nor do I have the desire to touch those tasks until Monday.
Do you live on your own or with your parents? I live with my family. Considering my monthly income, it’d be close to impossible to sustain myself in my own place this early in my adult life.
Are you more of a cat or a dog person? Dog, for sure.
Are you allergic to anything? I don’t believe so.
Does your shirt have anything written on it? Yeah, it says “UP Fighting Maroons” styled in a varsity font since that’s the term for our sports team.
Have you ever tie-dyed something? I have, but only back in like Grade 6 when we had to do it for a home ec class. I remember wanting to buy a tie-dye set recently so I could revisit the activity, but I never got around to it.
Who can you always count on to cheer you up? Angela for the most part; but I also don’t want to be too reliant on my friends in this way. Sometimes I simply allow myself to be sad or upset, and sometimes I count on myself to cheer up.
How many places have you been today? I have been nowhere but at home today lol. I’ll be going to BGC tomorrow to have lunch with my godfather and my cousins, though.
Are you a forgiving person? No.
When was the last time you felt let down? Last night when I read the news that the government will be making All Souls’ Day, Christmas Eve, and New Year’s Eve working days this year. I already know I’ll be half-assing my way through those days lmao because whyyyyyyy the fuck would you make people work on family-centric holidays such as those
What is the title of the nearest book to you? There are no books here at the rooftop.
Are you wearing anything that belongs to someone else? Nope.
Can you whistle? Only through my lips. I can’t do the kind of whistle where you put your fingers in your mouth as well.
Do you look more like your mother or your father? My mom.
Are you still in high school? I’m well past that chapter.
Are you the oldest, middle, youngest, or an only child? I’m the eldest.
Has anyone ever told you that you talk in your sleep? No, because I don’t.
How many people have you kissed this year? None.
Is there anyone of the opposite sex you trust fully? Hmm, no one comes to mind.
Are you a night owl or an early bird? More of a night owl.
If you could have an exotic pet, what would it be? No thanks. I’ve never had the desire to have one.
Would you rather go to Brazil for the weekend or Finland for a month? I’d have to go with Finland. I feel like the cultural differences would be a lot more marked, plus the vacation is longer so that is an instant win for me.
[..And Finally..]
Where did you go the last time you drove somewhere? I was driving to the local coffee shop to spend some time with myself, and do a liiiiiiiittle bit of work as well.
Where did you last go out to eat at? Ramen Nagi. I was initially hesitant to show up there and ask for a table for one on a Sunday evening...but it turned out to feel incredibly empowering and freeing. It was definitely awkward at first, but it got a lot easier once I realized literally no one gives a fuck. Or if they did, they didn’t do anything about it and let me mind my own business. That evening was a crucial step in reclaiming my happiness, so I’m glad I made the choice to suck it up and enter the restaurant.
When was the last time you let someone borrow something from you? Last week, when Angela needed our abaca mat as an aesthetic for her grad shoot.
Was your last breakup a bad one? Yes.
What was the last song you listened to? Just checked my Spotify and the current song I have on pause is Descansos by Hayley Williams. 
What was the last movie you watched? Midsommar.
Did your last kiss happen in a public place? Not technically, but it did take place outside of my house so we were outdoors for some neighbors to see.
How did you meet the last person to leave you a comment? It was Andi, and I already explained how we met earlier in this survey.
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Survey #430
“when the girl in the corner is everyone’s woman, she could kill you with a wink of her eye”
What kind of dog do you find most ugly? What a mean question. ;-; I don't think they're ugly, but I probably find chihuahuas to be the least visually appealing. Do you like wood floors or carpet better? Wood. Do you think the USA bullies other countries? Quite frankly, yes. Are you currently in love right now? No. Favorite fast food joint? Sonic. What would you do if your ex contacted you? THE ex, have a panic attack. Cry. Be wordlessly ecstatic. Be scared and confused. Do you still have feelings for your ex? Two, yes, but one is unrealistic considering I have no idea who he is anymore. It's been way too long for me to possibly, accurately like him. Ever tasted a flavored condom? No. Do you know CPR? No. How much do you care about your best friend? I'd die for her. Do you watch Dr. Phil? No. What age would you like to have a child? I don't want kids ever. Are your parents wealthy? Mom, absolutely not. Dad seems to be financially stable, but not wealthy or anything. Pick one state you’d love to live in? Alaska. How many pets do you want? And of what? Man, I want a LOT. I know I want more ball python morphs, a plains hognose, a woma python, numerous tarantulas, a fat-tailed gecko, a boa, orchid mantises, a sphynx, a tegu would be super cool... I'd love to have like an empire of pets one day, aha, but only so long as I could maintain them all and adequately provide for them. Have you ever asked someone out? Yes. When do you want to get married? I mean, I don't have a set age in mind. I want to get married when I'm ready. Can you play a musical instrument? I played the flute for yeeeaaaars in middle and high school, but I remember almost nothing by now. What if you stopped orgasming for the rest of your life? Idc, honestly. Does money make you happy? Money probably makes me happier than it should, but I'm not like madly in love with it or anything. Happens when you're poor your whole life. Your favorite breakfast food? Ugh, cinnamon rolls are a godsend. When was the last time you went to a funeral? I actually don't think I've ever been to one... only wakes. I really, really wish I could have gone to Jason's mom's, though... There was just no fucking way that I was going to risk upsetting Jason on THAT day of all days by popping up. Have you ever stolen someone’s boyfriend/girlfriend? Well, we never actually dated, but you could say that... Tell me the date of your first kiss. I don't know the exact date, but it was March 2012. Are your legs long or short? Normal, I guess? How many phobias do you have? Man, a lot. Is there a bookshelf in your room? No. Do you use the Facebook chat often? Barely at all. I only really use it to chat with Girt on the rare occasion we talk. Who got you hooked on the addiction you're addicted to (If you have one)? I discovered Mark on my own; I needed help in an Amnesia: The Dark Descent custom story, so I found his playthrough and watched it. Got a few laughs, subscribed. It was Jason who introduced me to Amnesia, though, so I can indirectly thank him, I guess? haha Are you currently worried about your parents finding out about something? No. Have you ever lived with a friend? Yeah, for a couple months. Have you ever only liked someone because you found out they liked you? No. Ever been on a real diet, or did you just stop eating? I've tried multiple diets. Have you ever known a white supremacist? I know multiple. Welcome to the South. Do you like the smell of a barbecue? Yesss. It's funny because I hate the food itself. Have you ever gone out in public in your pajamas? Yeah. It's not rare, if I'm being honest. How many times have you been to the ER? Too many times because of being suicidal. How many people are you currently texting? None. Anything exciting coming up? My nephew's birthday is in a few days! Would you rather get money or gift cards for your birthday? Money, so I can use it for anything. Do you have Instagram? I have three, ha ha. One for my basic photography, another for my morbid photos, and I went through a very short phase of having an Instagram for my pets. It still exists, but I don't really use it. Have you ever spoken to a detective before? No. Do you believe in ghosts? Yes. Do ladders scare you? Yes. Hot dogs or hamburgers? Cheeseburgers may possibly be my favorite food. Do you have any tattoos on your arms? I do. Have you ever owned or known someone who owned a black cat? I've owned plenty of black cats. What album is the last song you listened to from? It's from Disguise. What’s the last funny movie you watched? Probably Elf. Can you remember your parents’ birthdays? Mom's, yes. I only remember the month of my dad's. If you had to get a tattoo tomorrow, what would you pick? I think I want to get my tribute to Teddy next. How do you feel about band tattoos? Hey, go for it. I see nothing wrong with it. What piercing do you like most on the opposite sex? Probably snakebites. Lip piercings in general are hot lmao. Are you any good at applying make up? Noooo, my hands are so shaky. How old were the last 3 people you kissed? Sara's 23; idr the exact ages of Girt and Tyler. I think Tyler was a year younger than me, and Girt is at the bare minimum three years older than me. If you found out you got someone pregnant, what would you do? Well, I'm a cisgender female, so... Do you ever wonder what your ex is up to? Very frequently. Do you like your cell phone? I mean it's fine, but I'd like a new one. Is rap your favorite genre of music? No, it's actually my least favorite. Have you ever thrown up on anybody? Oh god, no. Do people think you’re happy? I think it's safe to say most people who know me know I'm clinically depressed. Or you know... maybe not. Quite a few people have been surprised to learn that about me because I can put on a good facade. What band would you stand in line for 24 hours to see? None, honestly. That's way too long. What was your worst childhood experience? I guess my dad's alcoholism. As a child, I thought it was a normal thing, but I do wonder if my fear of men has anything to do with how volatile drinking had a 50/50 chance of making him. He never hurt anyone, but he was just so mad and hateful towards the world sometimes. You can trade another person’s emotions for your own. Whose do you take? I have no idea. What was/is going to be your first waltz at your wedding? That'll depend on my partner and what song means the most to us/fits us best. "When It's Love" by Van Halen has been a consideration for forever, though. When it’s not summer, what do you miss most about it? I hate summer. I miss nothing about it. Do you consider yourself patriotic? No. What is the one thing that you need to do to die happy? Feel like I accomplished something notable. Do you consider yourself mainstream? No. What’s the riskiest thing you’ve ever done? Overdosing on cold medicine. What is life’s greatest mystery? Probably from whence we came. Humanity has fished for a definite answer forever. What was your favourite make-believe game as a kid? Pretending I was a meerkat hiding in a "burrow" that was a blanket fort, ha ha. Do you try your best at everything? Honestly, no. Who is your shoulder to cry on? My mom, without fail. What’s your standard excuse for not doing something? I dunno... it depends on the topic. Name the most beautiful person you know. As far as physical appearance goes, my friend Alon. Have you ever been to jail? No. What is one moment you wish you could have taken a picture of? Sara's face when I surprised her at her house for her birthday. It was absolutely fucking priceless. What place holds the most memories for you? Jason's house. Who was your first date? My puppy dog-love middle school bf Aaron. We went with a group of friends to a skating rink. My first one-on-one date was Jason. What’s the best trip you’ve ever been on? The zoo in 5th grade. It's the one and only time I've seen meerkats. For some weird reason, our zoo moved the meerkats not long after that visit. I THINK they said the environment just wasn't suitable for them, which I never really got... I think they mentioned the cold, but like, you have heating for them, and also, have you ever experienced a desert night? You consider all the other areas that have meerkats in their zoos and it's like... why, man. Bring my meerkats back. ;_; What do you think the earth will look like in 1,000 years? Oh dear God, I do NOT want to visualize that. My gut tells me it'll be a wasteland, probably without humans or most forms of life we have now. We have to get our shit straight, so very badly. I could rant for hours about how horribly and ungratefully we abuse our planet. Who makes you happy to be around? Sara! I feel like I can be my 100% authentic self, and we just vibe really well together. Like every time I've been there and she here, our friendship felt so natural and chill. I really, really need to save up for another trip up there. What secret have you tried to hide but it got out anyway? I kept the Joel situation to myself from pretty much everyone, but it eventually came out in front of Mom and Jason. It was actually the night of the breakup; I don't remember how it was relevant at all to mention, but I did in some form. Mom wisely never asked about it, and Jason obviously didn't. I was a stupid 12-year-old anyway, it's whatever now. Who/what is your everything? I will never. Ever. In five billion millennia. Let anyone be that again. How many people have you turned down when they asked you out? Ummm three? I think that's it. How many exes do you have? If I include everyone who ever had a title of "boyfriend/girlfriend," I have six. Who was your worst relationship with? Tyler. It was just pointless and the result of nothing but loneliness. What’s your ‘label’? (ex. punk, prep) I really, really don't care. Do you swear? How much? Like a sailor. I swore some beforehand, but I got really bad when Jason and I started dating. He swore a lot, and his mother did even more. I was around them as much as possible, so it rubbed off on me. What is the one thing that would make everything in your life fall apart? Losing my family, like being disowned or something like that. Especially when it comes to Mom. I rely on her so heavily, as much as I hate that. :/ What takes your breath away? Nature is very capable of that. Something like seeing big waterfalls in the mountains or something would marvel me. Are you patient? No, honestly. Are you a good dancer? No. Even when I took dance, I don't think I was great; however, I do think I was pretty skilled at clogging. Who would you call first in a life-threatening situation (not 911)? My mom. Who do you miss? Jason and his family, Megan, Alex, Hannia, Emily, Journee... a lot of people. Do you like snakes? I adore snakes.
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torivikachu · 3 years
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I was just listening to Hamilton AGAIN - yeah I just put it on while working all the time - and it just hit me how really relatable Hamilton (or I mean, Lin-Manuel's interpretation of him) is. well, at least for me.
if you're wondering if this is worth your time it is NOT
anybody except me likes lists? I like lists. so let's make a list!
also let's see how many quotes can I fit into this post
whoa, I am excited about it.
1. the moment he meets Aaron Burr, he just sorta searches for something to bond over. like, hey dude I heard you went to Princeton? I wanna go there too, let's bond over it! by the way, I punched someone there lol I swear I am not stupid aand Burr, like um, no, thanks really, I better go, you seem violent, my parents wanted me to go there, okay, and Ham like WHOA YOU AN ORPHAN? WOW I AM TOO IT'S LIKE FATE OR SOMETHING LETS BOND and Aaron like wtf dude just shut up
and honestly that's just me, if I meet a person I like I will latch onto anything and I get sorta...fixated? so yeah, this dialogue is relatable as fuck
2. and Alex doesn't shut up, but then he goes all or am I talking too much?
bro, your anxiety shows.
3. and he keeps ranting all through the show, but his rants seem to charm everybody while I think mine just annoy and scare away? whatever, moving on, with Washington asking him why are you upset and he's replying IM NOT like a fucking teenager and it's probably a small thing but it's relatable as hell
4. and then once he is given permission he dives and buries himself into work, never does things halfway and is eager to take on more responsibilities and do something new and is just generally non-stop and while I can only wish for same energy as he, I like to have a lot of work aswell (well I sure as hell whine about it a lot but Hamilton does too! what's with I havent slept in a week I was weak I was awake you've never seen a bastard orphan more in need of a break)
5. he's flirty and has no qualms with innuendos. and very forward with his feelings? like you strike me like a woman who has never been satisfied sounds like a pickup line that either gonna win him a lot more than a number or fail miserably. he's like going all out, wearing his heart on his sleeve, and if it takes fighting a war for us too meet it will have been worth it and like seriously? yeah, flirt with every person in the room without skipping a beat, why not? he literally said on one intake of breath mr lafayette hard rock like lancelott i think your pants look hot laurens i like you a lot. he compliments people, he just throws it out instantly, most times he meets someone for the first time he compliments them and it's kind of my strategy too? it's not even a strategy, I just blurt out everything I like about a person once I meet them. it's like embarassing, because I liked a piece of jewelery on my co-worker once, and she was talking about something important while I could barely keep up because I kept thinking wow it looks great I gotta let her know. this strange need of mine to voice all thoughts annoys even me sometimes,
6. and then again, when he is angry or doesn't like something, it's painfully obvious. I don't tend to sprout profanities to people I don't like or saying stuff like madison you mad as hatter son take your medicine or you must be out of your GODDAMN mind or you absolutely right John should have shot him in mouth that would've shut him up but I can't school my face so it is always transparent what I am thinking about so my dislike is noted and not appreciated. it got me into enough embarassing situations. actually when studied in lyceum (like a sort of highschool) we had a principal and she addressed us as children and told us to call her mom and every time I was like WHAT THE HELL. I remember her eyes landing on me one time she said that and she almost did a doubletake at my facial expression. so the I'M NOT YOUR SON sentiment is not lost on me.
7. he speaks his mind when he thinks advice is in order? um if you love this woman go get her or for once in your life take a stand with pride. I tend to do it too, because I get winded up pretty fast, and I don't think it's always wise, because it's easy to judge from outside. I am pretty much sure that is the reason one of my friends back from school stopped talking to me. she had a bit of situation with her boyfriend and I still think her boyfriend is a piece of shit and she shouldn't have accepted him back, but whatever. wasn't my place to give advice, apparently
8. he gets overexcited? gentlemen of the jury I am curious bear with me are you aware that we are making history? like really I can't imagine ever getting like that at court. well I can imagine, because I get overexcited too, but saying that out loud? i'd be mortified
9. he's never satisfied? I know I already sorta covered it already, but it's more about him eager to learn and do more and feeling that what he's done and learnt is not enough, never enough. I so feel him on this, it's like yeah sure I know 4 languages, but that can't be enough can it? yeah I've got one degree but that's just ONE DEGREE that's like minimum I gotta get more
10. I know I talk too much I'm abrasive and I am not quoting Hamilton I am talking about myself thank you very much
11. he's a whiny bitch: but they don't have a plan they just hate mine -oh yes- or whatever it is Jefferson started it -huh yes sure-
12. forgetting your sons birthday? I forget my own age, sis. these little details just escape my attention. I like forgot it was my boyfriend's birthday this year - we literally live in the same flat. it took me a couple hours and a reminder from facebook. literally. and then I'll try to get away - hahaha it's like me saying to my parents - oh sure I'll some visit in a couple of months (they live in another part of the country) and then in a half a year being like oh wow when was the last time I went home
13. oh, here comes some more heavy stuff - say no to this. I was in a couple situations where I lost this battle. I think I have some polyamorous tendencies? but I am also very posessive and jealous, yeah, not a great mix, I know. so, I might have sorta dated two girls at one time once. well, not really dated, we were just bi-curious with one? we were friends, just... um, trying things. and then at some point I met another girl and it escalated pretty quickly and we sorta got together (oh my god the whole situation was a mess I was so confused about my sexuality back then and so ashamed you have no idea) and I didn't break it off with the first girl, but it was okay since we weren't... a thing? they knew each other but had no idea I slept with both of them. well we haven't really gotten that far with the first one but. and then the other asked at some point if she's the only one I do this with and I lied and a month into this endeavor I realized it was too much and sorta stopped seeing the first girl. we also stopped being close friends pretty soon afterwards. all my "lovestories" are embarassing actually, but this one is also the one I am most ashamed of. and then there were many situations in life when I was attracted to multiple people at the same time and ugh, I don't know, I kind of hate it, honestly. cheating is not okay. it is okay if everybody is okay with the polyamorous relationship though, but I never got to do it. so, yeah Ham's a dick but so am I
and on that depressing note I wanna wrap it up because I sorta killed the mood with that story. i think that's called oversharing?
if you actually read it to this point - wtf, you have nothing better to do or what?
I am not even gonna tag it so people don't have to scroll over that shit while searching for good content really I just like writing
the whole time I've been writing this my cat just kept staring at me. unblinkingly. I can feel her JUDGING ME
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seaside-stars · 4 years
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since it’s been years since I’ve properly been here, I thought i would write a quick post about some things that happened or changed. Under the cut so it doesn’t take up too much space on the dash
I go by Phoenix now Pronouns are still he/him and they/them, and I mostly vibe with the label nonbinary now. Came out to grandma and dad Still very much ace and will gladly block assholes who say ace and aro people don’t belong in the community.
I HAVE A REDBUBBLE STORE I got an iPad and Procreate so I’ve been occasionally drawing things.
Sis, her fiancé, and I moved to a place together, we’re a 40 minute walk from  mum’s place (oh, yeah, sis is engaged)  Mum works as a live in carer in the UK and she’s stuck there until at least february because of the virus Dad, sis, her fiancé, and I went to ski in Hungary while visiting family this year (it was in February so before lock downs and quarantines) Mum and Dad separated (finally) and they both are dating someone.
I went to the con in Barcelona twice, the first time I met one of my now best friends (Jonathan/Whiite, they recognised that I was cosplaying Neil) and the second time I spent the whole con with them and slept over (and of course one of the days we cosplayed Andreil) I went to Dokomi once, it was awesome, hope I’ll be able to return when things are okay again. Visited my other best friend in the UK (Lau/Lance), we made a bunch of TikToks and went to a cat café dressed as Andrew and Neil because we’re Like That. We were supposed to meet again this year but that plan didn’t happen obviously. I was supposed to go to London and see Be More Chill with Jonathan a day before my birthday but it was canceled because of the virus and I’m still super sad about that, my bday sucked. But at least Jonathan was able to come visit me once when it was a bit safer.
I’ve been reading a lot of books in the past few years (finished 30 this year) Started to listen to podcasts (really behind on CritRole, gave up on TAZ Graduation, need to catch up with TMA and Juno Steel) I’ve read MDZS and I have a Wei Wuxian cosplay, I just need to stop being lazy and style the wig. Almost at the end of The Untamed, and I also started watching it with sis.
Cosplayed Neil, Andrew, Aaron (just for Lau, to make content with his Katelyn cosplay), Renee (so far only once for a con), and Allison. Made HP OCs with the best friends and have been making a lot of content with them on tiktok. (btw, fuck Rowling) Cosplayed Taako and Lup and I want to bring them back after an upgrade. That’s all for now
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robobirdie · 4 years
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Fan Story Forward
I have long struggled with mental illness my entire life and in 2012 during a very low period in my life I got a little parrot I named R2 even though we always called him Tooie. I had always wanted a bird, a living dinosaur, ever since I was very young and given my state my family thought it best to get me a companion parrot. He helped me get through many troubled times but in 2018 my beloved companion Parrot when he passed away suddenly July 12 at only six years old from a fungal infection. Just three months later my cat Keiko a beloved companion of 14 years was diagnosed with cancer in the jaw bone the week of Halloween. She was given only a week to live but hung on till February 26 of 2019. R2 loved watching TV with the family or when people played video games. My younger sister got me into watching Ninjago around late 2016 and I came to love it and so did he. Watching the show helped me feel better whenever times were low. I didn’t get into the Nexo Knights till after he passed but knowing him he would have loved it too. I had gotten into the Elder Scrolls series in 2012 during my very low period and it really helped me get by and both R2 and Keiko enjoyed hanging out watching as I played Elder Scrolls games. I’ve always been strongly creative and often write, draw or work digitally to create things and shortly after R2 passed I had started to come up with an idea involving three of the things we loved the most; a story involving the ninja and Nexo Knights. I only started writing however shortly after Keiko passed. I wrote this story as a sort of way to get over the grief of their loss. When I started I had a sense of where the story was going but no real end and many aspects were still blank. I was heavily inspired by the Elder Scrolls series particularly the third instalment Morrowind, the fourth instalment Oblivion and its Shivering Isles expansion plus the most recent instalment Elder Scrolls Online which my younger sister got me as a birthday gift in 2019. This inspiration is heavily noticed in environments, names and parts of the mythology in the story. While the story deals with the very dark subject matter of death and grief I tried to keep it light and keep in plenty of humor despite the dark subject matter. I also tried to keep it light enough in tone for young children which is very hard when dealing with such a dark subject. I originally wanted to keep it short but as I was writing I found that really was not going to work. The story became so complex that restricting it in size was not really wise. I knew from the start I was going to focus on two of the ninja similarly to how the show works. The two I chose are my two favorites', Zane and Cole (if you’re wondering Aaron and Clay are my two favourite knights). As I wrote I began to feel the story was best put into two parts. While the two are focused on through the whole story the focus is more prominent to Zane during the first half and Cole in the second. Part one is titled The Land of Ice and Ash while the second is titled The land of Stone and Shadow.
I have seen all the Nexo Knight seasons and Ninjago up to season 13 of the show so it will fit chronologically up till this point. It also takes aspects from Tomy Andersons story "Way of the Departed" since I have read those. Overall it is not heavily reliant on other seasons being focused on the story at hand though there are times when content from other seasons is implemented. Taking hint from what one of Ninjagos creators said, I believe it was Tommy, the knights and ninja are given a pretty hard time in the story but that helps propel the story and make it interesting. They are thrust into a strange world with strange people who have mixed views of them many hating them and beings who wish to destroy them at every turn. Overall I believe it is a fun, entertaining and heart warming story. It might even help you get over any grieving you might be having. It did that for me.
Originally when I started writing this story I had intended for the Knights of the Prong to be Legos Nexo Knights but did not know how to properly bring them in so simply came up with the Knights of the Prong as a stand in and this helped me get the story out. I always felt I could do more with the knights and as I have gotten close to the end I finally figured out how I was going to bring in the Nexo Knights and I think it offers more to the story The ninja are still the major focus of the story but the knights have their part and help flush out some parts and offer a different view of this place the two groups find themselves in. Like with the ninja the parts with the knights is not heavily reliant on the seasons of the Nexo Knights but does rely that you know who the Nexo Knights are and a bit of a back story on them.
For those who don't know about the Nexo Knights here is a bit of back story to help you know who they are:
The Nexo Knights come from a place called Knighton where they fight monsters created by a necromancer named Monstrux. They work with the great over 300 year old wizard Merlok who gives the knights magical aid to boost the knights powers against monsters. Due to an accident he became digitized. With help from two knights in training Ava a tech master and Robin a mechanic and inventing expert he was integrated into the knights moving fortress a vehicle called the Fortrex. The two are children and rarely get directly into a fight often working in the background alongside Merlok. Ava prefers her technology over magic and Robin aspires to be a full knight like his role model Clay. Clay Moorington is Merloks nephew even though for the longest time he did not know this. He wields a sword and is leader for the knights being the most serious and devoted to the knights code to protect others. During the 3rd and 4th season he got corrupted by Monstruxs magic which turned him to stone. He cured himself when he unlocked a power with magic he did not know he had. His mother was a wizard like her brother Merlok but got corrupted by monstruxs dark magic turning her evil when Clay was young. Macy Halbert is the daughter to Knightons rulers the king and queen however she prefers to be a knight over a princess often sneaking her weapon, a mace, and armor in to places when she is supposed to be doing princess duties. She is the second most serious about being a knight and cares little for the duties of a princess. Aaron Fox is the groups archer wielding a crossbow and is an ultimate adrenaline junky thrill seeker often using his knights shield as a hover board during a fight or for fun. While he often doesn't seem it he is serious about his duties as a knight. While Clay was corrupted he took over as leader for the knights taking his new role seriously. He is most often wearing headphones. Axl, who has no last name, is the muscle of the group wielding a war axe. He's kind, gentle, plays music and loves food. His younger sister has a crush on Robin which makes Robin uncomfortable. Lance Richmond is the spoiled  party son of a rich lord. He's super into his good looks and social media and has been known to pay others off to do or finish jobs for him. Despite this he does take his role as a knight seriously despite originally not wanting much to do with the life of a knight. He has a pet pig named Hamletta and a little sister who's training to be a knight like him. The knights have special shields which can harness Merloks magic for use in combat. Another prominent character who does make it into the story as well is Jestro the courts royal jester. While not a knight he trained alongside the others and is a deep friend of Clays. He is very insecure and anxious and tends to have the unfortunate luck of falling to evil influences, particularly Monstrux, despite his attempts to avoid them. Even when corrupted he’s hesitant to truly hurt the knights preferring to just mess with them.
I am a strong visually orientated person so as I went I created many concept arts to help me visualize environments, creatures, layouts and characters in the story. I will include these with the story so you can help visualize things as well. Many of these artworks you can find here: https://www.deviantart.com/nerdy-hyena/gallery/72478681/story-project
Overall I believe it is a fun, entertaining and heart warming story. It might even help you get over any grieving you might be having. It did that for me.
 Keiko and R2:
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As in all Elder Scrolls games there is a prophecy that foretells of heroes journey for the ninja their prophecy as foretold by the scrolls is:
“The scrolls foretold of this; His defeat was merely a delay; after the oni would fall the dragons would fail. When their wings are clipped and they have fallen to shadow the border between realms shall weaken and fall and darkness shall come. Realms once light and familiar shall be covered in shadows, shadows that are in plain view yet hidden consuming the world in darkness. There is only one this darkness fears; one of its own. But to gain this darkness and for the realms to be saved knights must fall to ash and shadow and dragons must enter the tower of first light and fall to its darkness in order for realms to see the light.”
To find all chapters look here: https://robobirdie.tumblr.com/archive
You can also find a copy of the story written here https://archiveofourown.org/works/34894561/chapters/86888878 and here https://www.wattpad.com/1087355671-ninjago-the-oni-scrolls-foreword-important-info You can also find images pertaining to the story here: https://www.deviantart.com/nerdy-hyena/gallery/72478681/story-project
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hirunoka · 4 years
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Sorry for the long wait, dear @3tothe1​. And I'm also sorry that it's pretty dialogue-heavy, and also short >< But I didn't want to keep you waiting any longer. I hope you have fun reading this chapter anyway. 💜 
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Gold Love by Moreid
CHAPTER 2
"That shouldn't be this hard! He said I could tell him if I needed any help, and I need that toolbox." Kayla reminded herself for the third time.
Everything was almost done in his new home beside the TV unit she needed to assemble.
She has been standing in front of Aaron's door for more than two minutes, one hand is ready to knock, while the other is holding a plate full of cookies.
Finally, she knocked on the door and not even after a minute it was opened.
“Hi, I brought cookies.”
“Heey, neighbor." Aaron beamed at her, trying to fix his hair a little. It looked all messy and soft to touch.  "Do they contain any peanuts?" The doctor asked, looking at the plate. ‘Cause if they do, and I had some, I could realistically die.”
A moment of silence.
“...then you probably shouldn’t touch the ones on the right side, unless you crave death,” Kayla replied, handing over the plate.
“After my fiasco in that morning, I should probably start with the right side,” Aaron joked. “But in my defense, I wasn't fully awake yet. I know Spider-Man, especially fan of that super horrible dance Tobey does. Iconic. I was just lost for a second, I guess."
"Oh, hell no. Don't even go there." She laughed. Six days have passed since they met, and whenever they would come across each other, it would never be just greetings and 'have a good day' with them. Somehow they always found themselves laughing at something together. "And don't worry, it's not a big deal."
"Isn't it really, though? Because I'm pretty sure that your face said the exact opposite." He then pointed the cookies on the left side on the plate. "I assume these are the sweet, non-life-threatening peanut-free chocolate cookies?”
"Okay, okay, you got me." Kayla raised her hands in surrender with a grin. "What can I say? I love Spider-Man. And yeah, safe to eat."
“They look delicious, thanks. I thought I was supposed to bring you something? All the traditional rules say so. “
“Rules are meant to be broken,” Kayla shrugged, “fuck ‘em.”
"A rebel! Nice. Unless you rob banks in your spare time. You need any help with anything? I can grab my panda mask to join you in your illegal adventure real quick.”
"Didn't know you were this willing to root in jails."
"For real, though, you need any help with anything?"
"Actually, yes. Do you happen to have a toolbox? I have this large  TV unit I need to assemble.”
“I can help you to assemble it if you want."
"Well, that would be good, but you really don't have to. I'd hate to bother you."
"Bother me? Never. I'm bored anyway, might as well put my hands to good use."
"If you insist."
"Let me grab my toolbox then."
"Don't forget to take your panda mask with you!" the photographer teased as Aaron disappeared down the hallway.
"I only use it for birthday parties and robbing banks with friends! No can do!" came Aaron's reply.
"Ah, too bad! I was kinda excited to see you in your panda mask. They are my favorite animals."
"I love them, too!"
***
"I must say, your place is really nice," looking around, Aaron said after they stepped into the living room. He whistled when his eyes caught the figure collections Kayla had, looking pretty impressed. The doctor then pointed at the figures: "May I?" he asked enthusiastically, to which she nodded.
"Feel free."
Seeing him walking towards her showcases reminded her of a kid in a candy store.
It was cute.
His big, blue eyes sparkled when he realized her Back to the Future figures were standing just like in that iconic movie poster; Marty is wrapped in his classic orange vest and sunglasses, checking his watch while Doc standing behind him.
"Wow, you have a Marty McFly figure?! That's rad. And not just him, but like, you have everything."
"You love Back to the Future, I see." Kayla smiled, leaning against the wall as he looked at the figures in admiration.
"Who doesn't? I love Star Wars as well, an excellent collection you got here. If one day you wake up to an empty showcase, it's not gonna be me. Just saying."
She shook her head with a laugh, "Now I’m happy that I don’t have a MJ figure yet, I would hate to see it gone. And thanks, I'll keep that in mind. Your place will be the first one I'll check if I ever wake up and find my collection long gone."
Aaron frowned at that a bit, "I just told you not to do that, you got it all wrong. I've always wanted a Delorean, by the way. I mean, not any Delorean, but," he pointed at the Delorean figure with his head, "a time machine. Then I could go back in time, and... nevermind."
"Girlfriend drama?"
"Oh, no. Not something as serious as that."
'He sounds like a kind of man who takes love seriously,' was Kayla's first thought when he said that. And her second thought was: 'I hope it's not girlfriend drama. God, please don't let it be girlfriend drama.'
"And I don't have one. A girlfriend, I mean."
YES.
Thank God.
"Well, that makes two of us." Kayla shrugged, "I don't have a girlfriend either. "
"Good to know." Aaron smiled at her, "How about a boyfriend?"
"Why? Are you offering?" She joked.
"With a collection like this? Hell, you can even expect a marriage proposal from me," he chuckled. "You didn't answer my question, though."
Not expecting a joke like this, Kayla laughed. "Wait until you see my DVD and record collection then. Eh, I had, now I don't."
"...you have a record collection?"
"Please don't look at me like that, it's old-school, I know, but I really love the-"
"No, no, no, I'm not judging you. I have a record collection, too. My friends love teasing me because of it. 'We're living in the twenty-first century, man! You are wasting your money for nothing, just download the damn song!' " He shook his head with a roll of his eyes, "They don't get it."
"Lucky for you, your neighbor does. That's mean of them. They shouldn't make fun of something you like."
"They mean no harm, but you're right. Do I make fun of Ryan's banana sticker collection, or Emeline stuffed cows collection that she has been collecting over seven years? Or Scott's pizza box collection? No, I don't."
Was he even serious?
Okay, his expression was pretty serious.
'Don't laugh, don't laugh, don't laugh,' Kayla warned herself, just after saying people shouldn't make fun of each other, she couldn't laugh at that.
But after a while, Aaron was the one who let out a laugh, not looking serious any longer.
"Oh God, you should've seen your face."
"Wait, did you just- That was mean! Do they even exist? Emily and Scott?"
"I'm sorry, I couldn't help myself. Well, yeah. They do exist. Somewhere. That '15 Things You Won't Believe People Collect' article I've read says so, at least."
"I can't believe I fell for it."
"Anyway, let's get to work, and I can tell you about the rest meanwhile."
"I'm not sure if I wanna hear it."
Aaron shot him a look saying 'Are you sure?'
"...okay, I kinda wonder," she admitted, "shoot."
***
"Dwight is my favorite after Jim," Aaron said.
After finishing assembling the TV Unit, they had found themselves watching The Office somehow.  Probably because it was on TV, and because apparently, Aaron loved it, too. "I can't believe you have seen the show for more than six times."
What happened next was one of the weirdest things ever happened. Because her cat Milo walked into the room and didn't even run away when he saw Aaron. What he did instead was going next to Aaron and playfully nuzzling him with his head.
"Hi there, beautiful." the doctor smiled lovingly and picked up the cat and placed him in his lap, petting it carefully and slowly so as not to agitate it. His movements were slow and gentle.
"Look what you got here! What's your name, little buddy? Where have you been hiding all this time?" He petted his head and under his chin, and then slowly got the rhythm of it as he scratched behind his ear, making the cat purr. Aaron couldn't help but giggle at the cute behavior.
"I hope you don't really expect an answer from him."
"It would be so awesome if he could answer, but since he won't do that anytime soon, what's his name?"
"Milo."
"A cute name for a cute- wait, why are you looking at me like this?"
"If you were me, you would look at me like that, too. Believe me."
"Why is that?"
"Normally he doesn't even go near to anyone but me, let alone letting them pet him in their lap."
"Aww, I must be special then."
'Maybe you are,' Kayla thought. It wasn't long until Milo was asleep.
"Oh, I didn't realize how late it was. I should probably go now, but you will have to take Milo from me yourself because I don't have the heart to disturb him. I just can't. Look at him! How can I?"
"How about we don't disturb him for twenty-two minutes and watch one more episode?" She offered, "Stress Relief is the next after this. It’s my favorite episode."
"Wow. You really do know the name of every episode. Impressing. Mine is Dinner Party."
“Good one. So? What do you say?”
“I say, you’re right.” Aaron nodded, smiling down at the sleeping cat. “Let’s not disturb him.”
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Sequel to That Body = Absolute Unit and Aaron is a Cute Name
Summary : 
*in DJ Khaled voice* Another one! Longer! Even less plot! I don't even know how to explain this one.
Chris and Aaron are now boyfriends. The couple is meeting each other's family. It doesn't go perfectly, and Chris is doing dumbass ways to fix that. With a side story of Chris freaking out because Aaron is giving him weeks of radio silence.
This is chapter 1 Out of 7, please red the rest at AO3
Words: 3.9 k
Anyone seeing him now would’ve thought he snoops into the evidence room and snorts all the cocaine they just raided. No, nothing like that, it’s something better. Chris is coming over to Virginia for a Christmas party at Rossi’s! That’s not all... He’ll be going as Hotch’s official boyfriend!
He’s both nervous and excited. He’s excited because he’s coming over to his favorite author’s home and have a legit Christmas party. Not some half-assed office party that’s there to keep the spirit up and 95% work anyway. Yet he’s nervous because Aaron’s coworkers are equivalent to his family, which means that Chris is coming over to ‘meet the family.’ That’s like the next step of a relationship, right?
It totally is! This means Chris can either be that ‘weird boyfriend’ that the family doesn’t bother to get to know about because they’re so sure they’re going to break up soon. OR, Chris can be so boyfriend/family material that’s so sweet so fun so snatched that is practically treated like family. Chris will be the latter as if his life depends on it. Aaron’s people are the coolest people on earth because they’re sweet, hot, hard-working, literal FBI agents, and most of all, they’re Aaron’s family.
Chris got himself ready for the party. He did yoga 4 times a week than the usual twice a week. He games up his skincare routine and he’s burning through his sheet masks. He trimmed his hair. Manicured his nails. His skin is glowing. The body is healthy. This year’s leave secured for the taking.
He’s never been this prepared in his entire life. Can’t wait to get to know the people closest to his darling beautiful lovely bf. It’s going to be so much fun.
“Hee hee hee hee hee.”
“Sweet Jesus, Chris, why are you the drug dealer from down the street this whole day?” Even Peralta’s jokes can’t get to him today.
“Chris is spending Christmas with his new man.” Haily answer for him because Chris is hyper-focused on his papers.
Chris is vibrating with excitement that he can’t even do his reports smoothly, but he’ll be damned if everything is not perfect by his holiday leave. Of course, they’re not having a Christmas party at the actual Christmas time. Work and all, especially’s Hotch’s work.
And he’s aware that there’s a good possibility that they may cancel it due to a case.
So, he needs to chill. The more he looks forward to it, the more he’ll be disappointed if it gets canceled. Be cool. Be chill. Whatever will be, will be. Namaste. All that shit.
“Look at what you’ve done!” Haily reprimands, slapping Jake at the back of his head.
“Ow, what did I do?!”
“You deflated him!”
“I shouldn’t get too excited, they can cancel the party if there’s a case,” Chris finally put his head out of his dreamy bubble, seeing Jake and Haily about to square up.
“We have a party here Chris! What’s better than having Christmas with your office family?” Jake paused as Haily raised her eyebrows at him. “Except maybe a private party in a crime author’s fancy house filled with FBI agents. Dammit, no I’m not jealous!” Jake points at him, in both denial and assertiveness, talking to himself. Yup, that is the face of the precinct best detective.
“I am attending the office party. I wouldn’t miss the dumpster fire for the world.”
“Our Christmas party is not always a dumpster fire!” Chris and Haily give him a look and Jake quickly folds. “Okay maybe it is, but it’s our signature!”
.-.-.-.-.
The day of the precinct's Christmas dumpster fire finally arrived. Like every year, his floor has a secret Santa event, though not everyone joined. When they’re close to clocking out, they reveal each other’s secret Santa.
“Hey, Ginnie Gina.” Chris struts over to Gina’s desk right outside of the Captain’s office. As usual, the Captain’s assistant has her feet up the desk and phone in hand. “I’m your secret Santa.”
“AH, maybe there is God. I thought my Santa was Scully and I was not gonna let it see the light of day.” She then – in the most casual way –  reach out to a saw blade blending into the clutter on her desk and put it under her drawer.
“Gimme!”
Chris gave his present with ease knowing it won’t fall victim to the saw blade. Gina’s Christmas colored acrylic nails dig and tears the red wrapping and voila! Creme de La Mer. Yes, that La Mer bitch, because Chris ain’t playin’ with presents.
“I swear to God Chris you’re the only salvation of this earth. I would kiss you if I’m not wearing my Christian Louboutin lip gloss right now.”
“You’re welcome.” Gina gave him an air kiss and Chris catches it. “Pray for my gift!”
“I will, love!”
That kiss must’ve been a curse because Chris got Scully as secret Santa. And his gift is a frozen pizza box with a slice missing and wrapped with worn an XXXXL hoodie with vaguely red and brown stains. Gracefully, Chris gives the pizza back to him and Scully lights up at the offer of his own food back at him.
Then nightshift rolls in, turns out they have a secret Santa event of their own. Chris then looks away when he noticed disappointments are brewing to a fight.
He goes back to his desk, finishing up before his nightshift desk buddy came. In the middle of finishing up his report, a phone call stops him from finishing up. Aaron!
The office starts to get noisy with shenanigans, greetings, and a new perp yelling out to let him go. He slips out to the roof, and the noise quiets down as if they’re far away.
“Hey, sugar,” Chris says as he walks to the furthest side of the roof.
“Hi, how’s secret Santa?” Aaron doesn’t sound so hot, maybe he’s just worn out a bit.
“I got the short end of the stick, but the shock and awe factor overcame my disappointment because it is kinda funny.”
“What did you get?”
“A frozen pizza box with a slice missing and his worn clothes that smells like pizza sauce and sweat. I think he just wrapped his dinner with the clothes he was wearing.”
Aaron chuckles, and Chris bites off his smile. They’ve only been dating for a few months but that chuckle still packs some damage on him.
“I’m sorry it didn’t go well.”
“It’s going better than last year at least. No one is getting into a fistfight with their secret Santa.”
“That’s good, and Merry Christmas.”
“Merry Christmas! Where are you right now?”
“Case at Florida.”
“Aw, that sucks. You won't see the present I gave you to your office then.”
“I’ll open it as soon as I arrive. Are you still at the precinct?”
“Yeah, about to tidy up. I’m clocking out in an hour.”
“Good, my gift should be at your office by now.”
“Wait really??” Chris looks back to look at the desk from the windows. Probably still on the front desk. “D’waw! Thank you, I’m gonna ask the front desk if it’s here.” Chris goes back inside. “Are you at a hotel? Taking a break?”
“No, I’m still at the police station.”
Huh, that’s weird. Aaron never calls when he’s still on the job. Maybe after the team retires at their hotel, but never when they’re still at the police station. Chris stops by the door and gulped.
“Is everything okay?”
“I hope so, we’ve done all that we can.” Oh, Chris knows that tone of voice. Chris knows that hopeless feeling when all he can do is wait.
“I bet you do and more. I wish you guys are not too hard on yourselves.”
“I don’t think that can be helped,” Aaron resigned, and Chris also feels there’s nothing he can do, but lend an ear.
Actually, Chris can do one thing, “When you come home, we’ll meet up, promise.”
“I’ll need that. Your secret Santa fail helps too.”
“Then I’m glad I’m getting frozen pizzas for Christmas.”
“I hope my present can make you feel better.”
“Oh yeah! That.”
Chris has been standing like a dumbass in front of the rooftop door when he heard Aaron’s voice mellowed. Now that he’s in front of his desk, he sees his present. A big box that takes over the free space on his desk, sitting there as it looms a bit over him.
“Oooh, ominously big, I wonder what’s insiiide,” Chris sings as he presses his phone between his cheek and shoulder so his hands have their full tearing capacity. He puts the box down first before tearing, revealing a pink plain box.
Inside the big pink box is – he can’t believe it – a plushie version of the clay cat he had that reminded him of Rosco. Chris’s jaw hits the floor as he pulls it up and stares at it. Like the clay, it’s egg-shaped, has a condescending expression, but the markings are more accurate than the clay cat. The only thing not accurate is the size. It’s big and tall, and thicc with 10 c’s.
Chris inhaled deeply, ready to scream before he whined instead, remembering he’s still in the office.
“Aaaaaaaa,” He whispered the scream – somehow – hugging the cat that’s at least a meter in diameter. It’s a very thick plushie and he LOVES it as if the bitch herself (still talking about the cat) erected from the dead. “HOW! What???? I... This is... Frick! Aaron, I could kiss you right now!”
“I’m glad you like my gifts,” Chris can hear the smile through Aaron’s voice.
“Gifts? As in multiple???”
“You must’ve missed the board game.”
There’s Betrayal at The House on The Hill board games resting at the bottom of the box. It’s the board game he’s been wanting ever since he saw it on Smosh Board AF! Everyone has been wanting to play it.
“Oh, man this is great! I think I mentioned this ages ago.” Chris hugs it to his chest and makes the most disgusting lovey-dovey face. “You remembered!”
“I ordered it the second you mentioned it. I wanted to give it to you on your birthday but I figured it’ll be appropriate for Christmas so you can play it with everyone.”
“Yeah totally! Hey guys! Look at what Aaron gave me!” Chris flaunts his board games in the air and catches a few attention.
“That’s one big cat,” Haily said her long blond hair sway as she leans to the side and looks, totally missing the point, but still valid because Chris can’t even circle this plushy with two arms.
“Well, yeah, but look at the board game!”
“Whoa cool! Betrayal at The House on The Hill?” Jake came over with Rosa. “Amy! I found a board game I can beat you at!”
“Not a chance Jake, stop being salty over Bang.” Rosa claps back stoically.
“Ooh, did Hotch gave you that?” Santiago walks over.
“Yeah! We can play it in today’s after-party at my place!”
“Thanks, Hotch!” Jake says that soon followed with a few thanks from Haily, Rosa, and Amy. On the other end, he hears Aaron chuckles.
“You’re welcome.”
“He says you’re welcome. Yall tidy up cmon! Let’s ditch this dump. Get the captain.”
They all scatter over to their desks as Chris put the doll back to the box.
“Thank you for the doll, also the board game. I love them all!” Chris puts the plushy back to the box. “Don’t forget to open mine as soon as you get back!”
“I won’t miss it for the world.”
++++
When the team comes back, the sighs and long faces disappear at the sight holographic ribbons, red and gold wrappings on a box as tall as a small child inside Hotch’s office, sitting on his desk.
“What is that,” Blake says.
“I assume that’s a gift from my boyfriend,” Hotch finds his smile again. The blinding holo ribbons are so sore to the eyes than he thinks of nothing else than what’s inside.
“Today doesn’t turn out as we had hoped, but we’ve done the best we can. Get home and rest. If any of you need a leave tomorrow, tell me first thing in the morning. Merry Christmas.”
The team gave him a collective Merry Christmas before dropping or grabbing something from their desk and tidy up.
Hotch needs to get a few papers ready, while he’s here, but all he wanted to do is open his present. The last time he felt like this was when he was a kid waiting for his birthday to come. No one else is here since it’s way past office hour, so he takes this time to open his present.
As soon as he drops his go bag, he cuts up the ribbon and tries to keep the wrappings intact so he can keep it.
To his absolute surprise, the box is roughly as big as what he gave Chris. When he opens it, from what he can see, there are a few items in there. To his relieve the box is only half-filled. The one he noticed is a thick blanket that takes up half of the box. A folded deep blue pajamas. A journal for the next year with black leather cover. A book called Black Beauty, a classic that Aaron never read before.
He touches the blanket first, and it was the softest fabric he ever touched. Taking out the present one by one, he found a slip of envelope between the blanket and the pajamas.
Inside is a Christmas card from Chris.
‘Merry Christmas Aaron!!
I know what you’re thinking, “What is inside that big thick box.” Sorry to disappoint it’s only half-filled. I was confident that I can and WILL fill it but in the end, I just ran out of ideas. I know it’s still a lot, and to tell you the truth I am overcompensating... but best believe that every item is chosen with love. Except for the journal, it’s MADE with love.
I had a lot of ideas but then a lot doesn’t make it because... I’ll list the scratched-out things so you can judge. A bbq grill. A shovel. Phone casing with those jiggly animal characters on it. Moonshine. Wine. Scotch. Many other exotic alcohols. Weed at some point. Sunscreen. Moisturizer. Eye cream. Eye serum. Eye mask. (I love the look on you but it looks so heavy I just want to lighten the burden and it’ll feel so good and soothing, call me if you change your mind, I’ll make your skin feels so good! Like a spa day! Ooh, let’s have a spa day. Anyway.) A custom calender of puppies. A real live puppy. A plushie puppy. Snacks box subscription from Japan. Snacks box subscription from South Korea. Cloud slime. Stress balls. Me in a box (I wanted to put myself in a box and be your Santa then soon realized how dumb it is.) Me but in BAU ft flowers and a Santa outfit. Me but in bed wearing a Santa outfit. Me in bed but in a Mrs. Klaus outfit.
The last ones are very lazy (and weird) because I ran out of ideas. So, aren’t we glad that none of those are your presents!
So you understand why I choose what I choose. The blanket is so soft! And so is the pajamas. They have a variety of pajamas where it has all the color of the rainbow, but I don’t have the heart to put you through that. I hope deep blue isn’t too much of a daring color for you, (jk, you can pull off any color you sexy beast.) I want to dump this and start over after I wrote that but this is my fifth card and the last out of the bulk I bought so... You just have to deal with being a sexy beast. I know... the horror!
The book is so wholesome! It’s different from your usual non-fiction. But like, I just put it in there if you need something to read.
Oh, and I hope you like the planner journal. The inside is nothing like the outside ;) I think it’s so you!
Text me if you get my present! Merry Christmas!
P.S. I know this is a lot and you’re the type that said you don’t want anything and means it. I won’t give you this much next year, but I’m gonna level up my gift-giving game... you’ll see.
P.P.S. I’m joking about this being my 5th card. It’s my 11th. I keep adding stuff that’s not in my draft and ended up cringing at it. It’s funny though. I would read to you if you’re interested.'
Aaron finds himself smiling the entire time he reads the letter even though it ended on an ominous note. He laughed at all the gift ideas. He didn’t know what cloud slime is.
He opens the journal with black leather cover, and the inside is a stark difference from the cover. It’s still meticulous, functional, and tightly tidy with its format. But the icons are flowers and cute animals. The papers are colored warm light brown and other earthy tones. The decorations throughout the planner are minimalistic drawings of decorative plants, flowers, and cute animals.
Though it was random items, all of them are thoughtful gifts. Thankfully Aaron hasn’t bought a book planner for next year. Aaron is also intrigued by the book because Chris doesn’t read a lot of books. More of a watcher than a reader he said. So when Chris recommends a book, it does perk his curiosity at what Chris count as interesting.
Sadly, the blanket would receive less love than all. Simply because Aaron rarely sleeps at his own bed because of cases. He can’t believe he’s genuinely feeling sad for not being able to sleep on his bed a lot because he won't feel the blanket as often. To be fair, it really is soft. The pajamas, however, are perfect. He can put that in the go-bag.
Just like Chris said, Aaron doesn’t have anything in mind when someone asked what he wants for birthdays or Christmases. He’s not materialistic in nature. He never bought anything that’s not necessary basic needs. Gifts, however, are different. Even if Chris just gave him a card, He would’ve kept it forever, just how he’ll keep this card in his keepsake box. And even if Chris gave him rainbow pajamas, he’ll still keep it and wear it.
The knock from his door is followed with an “Excuse me, sir,” and he goes back to Hotch.
Hotch looks back to see Garcia who’s surprisingly still in the building. She usually went home as soon as the case is done.
“Are you okay?” She says, and he gets why she’s here now.
“Yes. Are you?” Aaron asked back, because last time he saw her from the screen, she was crying.
“Oh, sir, I’m not, it sucks but you know... No, I don’t know. I hate not being able to do anything.”
“I know Garcia, you did a great job. We’ll all bounce back from this.” Like they always do.
“I know... We’re having a Christmas get together slash chill hang out at my place, trying to wind down. Do you want to join us?”
“That sounds great, but I’ll have to pass, I have to catch up some sleep.”
“Of course sir.” She looks around and gasps, finally smiling. “Are these from Chris?”
“Yes.”
“Aw! That’s sweet. Merry Christmas sir!”
“Merry Christmas, Garcia.”
Aaron starts putting it away in a big paper bag included inside, the box is also foldable. For someone not knowing what to gift him, Chris thinks through how he’s going to bring the stuff back to his car. For Aaron, this exact gesture tells you everything you need to know about Chris as a person.
As everything is inside the bag, Aaron was about to text Chris that he received the gift. He had expected the string of text, but not a couple of videos and lastly a picture.
The videos were from yesterday when Chris received his gift. It’s a video of him dancing on the dancefloor with the doll. Haily was the one recording it while laughing in the background. It still baffles him how he met another Haily. Though in different spelling, it’s way too similar to his late ex-wife. He never wants to come to this conclusion, but in a way, it’s like some kind of fate.
Everyone else is dancing with human partners and Chris is there dancing with a round cat plushie that’s just too big for si arms. Laughing freely and happily, waving to the camera and blowing a kiss.
To be completely honest, the plushie wasn’t intended to be that big. He had ordered a size roughly identical to the clay cat he owned of Rosco because Aaron sees the paints faded away in a few places where Chris touched often. The company misinterpreted the size and it came out ten times bigger than it should’ve been.
The last picture is Chris in his sleepwear, which are a boxer and worn t-shirts. It’s a selfie of him in his bed hugging the doll. An arm draped around the cat and his knee resting on the cat’s belly.
Seems like Chris likes the size from the text that follows.
From Chris: Can’t even wrap my hands around my big thicc boi.
From Chris: That sounds suggestive lol but I swear I meant nothing but wholesome things.
From Chris: Unless?”
From Chris: Lol jk, I’m not getting it down with a plushie of my late dead cat.
Then a string of kisses emojis.
Aaron zones out for a couple of seconds seeing Chris in bed with a plushie. Aaron can see everything from his head to hip and his arms stretching out far to include the plushie. His hair tossed carelessly to the back. His shirt risen to show a bit of skin of the waist. Face buried partly on the cat’s cheek. Eyes sparkle as he looks at the camera and a smile so big it showed all his pearly teeth.
There’s no doubt that Chris is a grown man with masculine features. His face is incredibly youthful and masculine despite some soft features of his face. Round almond eyes. Bold angled eyebrows. Pale pink lips that always stretch out in a smile.
In that bed, with that pose, the picture stopped Aaron from breathing. Heat pricked under his skin. His hands clenched and unclenched. Lastly, he gulped.
How long has it been since he came over to his place?
To Chris: I got your presents. I love them all, but my favorite is the book planner, thank you.
Aaron doesn’t even need to wait for more than five seconds, Chris is already typing.
From Chris: I’m so glad! I thought the planner would be too fluffy for you
To Chris: It’s refreshing, and the decoration doesn’t disturb the functionality of a planner. The colors are easy on the eyes. I’ll bring this everywhere I go.
Chris is typing... while he does, the picture of Chris is still on his screen and he can’t tear his eyes away from it. He sends a follow-up text before Chris can send his.
To Chris: Can I come over?
From Chris: !!!!!
From Chris: CAN YA???? WILL YA???
To Chris: Yes. We promise to meet up when I came back.
From Chris: Ajanschbvha come on over bby ;)
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Tagged by @67-chevvy-impala-373 thankss <3
Name ten different favorite characters from ten different fandoms
(edited cuz @slightlyrebelliouswriter23 made me want to explain why ☺️ )
edit 2: am I stupid or something? Kenji and Aaron are in the same damn fandom sjsjsj
1. Kenji Kishimoto - Shatter Me
He’s the absolute funniest character I know and relatable af. Without him the series wouldn’t be so funny. He’s this sunshine people rely on and don’t expect to also be down and I feel that. His language is so ”real” so unpolite.
2. Saphira - Inheritance cycle
I just.. have this feeling that I love her this much. It’s been years since I read Eragon but it’s my childhood favorite. Oh right she’s a lethal, big, sapphire blue dragon who’s both like a soulmate and mother to Eragon, and a big reason he hasn’t been killed bcuz his stupidity yet. I just love the way she sees the world and the way she speaks.
3. Aeduan - the Witchlands
Who can’t love a frightening bloodwitch who’s actually a huffelpuff with a crush. I just recently got to know him but, he has my heart. I felt so proud of him when after years of hating what he stood for learned that the future is for making your own character. I’ll stop before I start ranting haha but the confidence that comes with his gift is so amusing to watch.
4. Kaz Brekker - Six of Crows
17 year old gang leader with total cool except when it comes to inej and a brain so cunning and smart to get away with any crazy heist. That’s my shit. He became one of my fav characters ever from the very first chaper (which is actually the second, so first about him) and from there he has just kept growing. Maybe people should be concerned since he’s a criminal, but his personality has rubbed off me in a good way. His way to talk, which also sets grown ass humans freaking out, is one of the reasons.
5. Silas - Sorcery of Thorns
This book I just recently read and it’s now my fave standalone. A simple short servant with no outer flaws, white hair, burning golden eyes, who like when everything is in order. Or is he just? It honestly surprised myself that I put him here. He’s actually one of the most dangerous demons and doesn’t care about human lives. But I just love how polite he is, spilling his master’s embarrassing moments, the swiftness in his power, sass, and wow the small moment when he smiled
6. Damon Salvatore - The Vampire Diaries
If I and my sibling have a favorite character in common, it’s Damon. His sass and sarcasm was the first thing I started to like, and then he just carved a place in my heart. His story has broken my heart so many times, made me smile so big with tears in my eyes, wow the rollarcoaster. Especially the TV show. He has such a big heart for the people he care about and so genuine, which might be weird to say about a vampire who kills how he wants.
7. Aaron Warner - Shatter Me
THIS MAN guys, is boyfriend material through and through. I love him with such a fierce passion I don’t know what to do somestimes. He was just an abused boy and neglected by his father who fought everyday to protect his position as a leader in a world that was determined to go to hell and fell desperately in love with a dangerous and outcast girl like himself. He has made mistakes, and maybe haven’t handle things in a good way but he’s learning. He talks about things as a matter of fact and omg I just love his remarks. And boi is he passion personified.
8. Manon Blackbeak - Throne of Glass
We love a badass queen. She’s such a strong character who doesn’t give a crap what people are saying and never apologize for what she stands for. Not to mention she’s a witch, my witch-heart instantly took a liking. A bitchy character from the start but while she learnt actual friendship and was given a big baby wyvern she grew so much, and also broke free from a home based on abuse and too much play on pride after she uncovered truths she was ready to face, and sis did do it with style.
9. Magnus Bane - Shadowhunter cronicles
Centuries old bisexual warlock who throws glitter and sexual sideremarks everywhere and birthday parties for his cat. He has been in way too many books to capture him enough perspectives. He’s so freakin sassy, n cool, n ONE OF A KIND. I just find him so intriguing and lovable and his character was the reason I made it through the TV show (don’t even get me started on the show I just consider that outside the fandom)
10. Zeno - Yona of the Dawn
This little baby is such a precious soul. He was just a teenager when the Yellow Dragon gave him his power to protect the Dragon King and country. Since that he had been forced to see and feel the king die, likewise his three dragon brothers and his wife from sickness and age. Leaving him to wander the earth for +2000 years alone until the spirits of the five dragons would be reunited, and has probably tried every possible way to take his life, cuz that’s not a life you’d want, to never die. He has sacrificed so much and been broken, but despite that, he’s a cheerful sunshine with a never faltering smile who gives joy to the others and acts like the child he is. I just gave you his life story but it’s one of the reasons he became so dear to me.
<3
And I’ll tag: @notyourclassicshadowhunter @shiencystuff @slightlyrebelliouswriter23 @literary-licorice @eemiex @eilonwiiy @redrose-arrow @sxfik ! 💗
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spamela-hamderson · 5 years
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10 signs you’ve become a crazy cat lady
Happy Birthday @illgetmerope!!!! This story might be a little sad, but we know how it really ends. So it’s ok, yes? Love you loads, enjoy the rest of your birthday weekend!!!
She slinks into the tight space in-between the coloured bins, praying she’s moved fast enough for The Children to have missed her. She feels the weight of their footsteps getting closer, rubber souls thumping down on hot asphalt, uncoordinated, and it makes her ears twitch in tense response. Her heart pounds quick against her ribs. Her breathing shallows.
“Did you see where it went? KITTY!”
She jumps at the shout, body hitting the side of a bin, but the children don’t notice. The thumps get louder and her body grows warmer, half from anxiety and half from the heat rising off the ground. She waits. If they get any closer, she’ll have to run again, and she’s getting sick of it. All she’s done these past days, it feels like, is run. From handsy children, from the tomcat in the carpark, from that crow that’d swooped down way too close for comfort when she was trying to find a quiet spot to scoff down the small mouse she’d managed to hunt down. 
And the large man. The one with the furry chin who’d tried to put her in the wire cage. She’d run from him for so long, too scared to stop and look back.
She hasn’t had a moment of pause since that man, and she’s tired. 
So she waits. 
She waits, until The Children leave, tired from the heat and frustrated by their failed hunt. And then she waits some more, because she doesn’t know where to go from here. She’s spent days running from everything, and she doesn’t have a place to run to. Not anymore. 
So she settles into the space in-between the coloured bins that’s started to cool now that the sun is going down. She’s tired after all, and a little nap while she waits can’t hurt.
:::
She snaps back awake and the sky is black. It’s the shouting that’s woken her up, two men yelling and posturing and so close to shoving, she can see it. She’s seen this in territorial cats, seen the way they jump and bite and scream, and she knows she needs a new waiting place.
She runs again. Run, runs, runs, over grass, up sidewalks, until she spots the slowly closing door to an apartment building. It looks so familiar, and she wants it to be. Wants to go home even if it’s not hers anymore now that Mama’s not there. The shrinking opening of the door makes her decision for her. 
She runs in. 
And then she stops.
No, it’s all wrong. The smell is all wrong, and the ground too rough and she has a moment of loss again, until she hears someone scream. She turns, but the door’s already shut, and The One Who Screamed is staring at her, eyes wide and nose scrunched. She recognises that look in humans. Bad things can happen when they look at you like that. She turns and runs up the stairs until she sees another door, opening this time, and runs through again.
:::
Robert rushes to close the door, though it’s too late. A giant rat’s just run into the apartment, and now he’s got a giant rat in the apartment. 
He grew up on a farm; the occasional rodent shouldn’t be such an alarming thought to him. But that was a long time ago and farm rats aren’t quite the same as city rats, are they? And this one’s about the size of his foot, from the glimpse he caught before it’d run off into the bedroom.
He considers his options, a way to prolong the inevitable, more than anything. Between the language barrier and the total aversion to neighbourliness, there is no one here he can ask for help. No one who will even answer the door if he knocks. 
Usually, that’s just how Robert likes it. He can’t answer questions if no one can understand him, and no one here has any interest in those answers anyway. Not when they were running from questions themselves. But right now, he misses having someone, even if just to share in this ridiculousness with him. A memory of exasperated blue eyes sneaks in, and he abruptly turns away from it and towards the bedroom. 
If there’s one thing Robert is good at, it’s running from himself. He hadn’t had to, for a while there. Himself hadn’t seemed as terrifying a concept when he had Aaron and Liv and Seb to share it with. His family. His own. Now though, he’s back to running, getting good at slipping away from memories that threaten to bring with them a sweeping sense of guilt. The kind that makes him wake up in cold sweat. 
It makes him wonder what it means that he can slip back into this place so easily, the one where he avoids looking his reflection in the eye and shamefully skids his gaze over the corner of the room where he’s arranged the few mementos he’s kept of his past life: the first shoes he bought Seb, the black hoodie Aaron had worn the day before Robert’d left, and an early draft of Liv’s wedding speech that Robert had found peeking out from under the sofa after coming back from their honeymoon. 
(On his darkest days, it makes him wonder if it’d all been a sham. If he was never actually meant for normal.)
He stops outside the room, turns the light on, and takes a cautious step in when he doesn’t immediately spot the rat.
The room is sparsely furnished, just a dresser next to the window and a rickety, metal-framed bed against a wall. It doesn’t leave many options for a good, giant rat-sized hiding spot. He looks under the bed from where he’s standing. Nothing. Which means it’s behind the door. He takes a breath, and another one. He can do this. He’s not losing to a rat. He peers around the edge of the door, slowly, not wanting to alarm the animal into running straight at him. 
Round, reflective eyes peer back. Not ones belonging to a rat. Well, that’s something at least. A fairly small-sized cat isn’t as intimidating as a giant rat. Feeling more confident, he walks fully into the room and inches the door away from the wall. 
It looks so little, crouched close to the ground like that, staring up at his hands with dilated pupils and ears flat against its head. The cat — black, except for a spot of white on its chin and one of its paws — shifts back against the wall, desperate to put more space between them.
“Here, come on. Out,” He says, gentle but just a touch firm, hoping the tone he used on Seb and Liv will do enough to communicate his authority. 
He jumps back at the force of the resulting hiss, and feels embarrassed at his own skittishness around such a small, clearly terrified animal. Robert reaches a hand out towards it, slowly, giving it the chance to get used to his presence. 
:::
She sees the giant hand coming down towards her, fear striking in her heart, and she’s sick of it all. She’s sick of running. She launches herself forward, teeth bared, snarling, and hooks her claws into pink flesh. Tall Man yells out, falling back on his bum to get away from her. It fills her with pride that he has to shake her off.
“What’s wrong with you, ya little–!” 
Oh, he’s angry now. She slinks back towards the wall, wide eyes staring up at him. He watches her, something in him softening as his face loses its severity. 
“I get it, you know.”
She doubts it.
“Must be scary, being on your own,” he says, so quiet. It makes her ears perk up just a little, fear taking a back seat to curiosity for a second.
He watches her some more, before getting back off the ground. 
“Right. Wait here.”
As if.
She waits for him to leave the room, then runs over to the dresser, hops onto it, and tries to sneak out through the window. Except the bars on the grill are too narrow for her to fit through. 
Well, shit. 
She turns back towards the room. Tall Man was probably off to call Wire Cage Man. And then she will be carted off in the back of the van to the place cats are brought to when they lose their Mamas. 
She looks at the bed. Mama had a bed too. She’d let her sleep on it, curled around her cold feet, even though she had her own smaller bed on the floor. 
Suddenly she’s tired again. She doesn’t know if this mysterious place has beds, so she jumps off the dresser, deciding to take advantage of this one. 
:::
“That’s my bed, you know.”
She’d been too nervous to nap, wondering what was taking Tall Man so long, and had stayed watching the door the entire time he was gone. She watches him step into the room now, a small bowl in hand. Was Wire Cage Man not here yet?
“If you’re staying,—just until I figure out what to do with you—there will have to be rules.”
She knows what’s in the bowl. Can smell it from here. But can she trust it? 
“No getting on my bed.”
Wait. What? Staying?
“Definitely no scratching.”
She’ll be the judge of that, thanks.
“Now. I bought you some cat food. Hope you like chicken and carrots.”
He places the bowl down next to the door, and stares at her. She stares back. He rolls his eyes. 
“Fine. I’ll leave you to it, then.”
She waits until she hears the quiet snick of the door closing, waits a little longer just in case, and then slinks over to the bowl, ears tipped towards the door the whole time. She hasn’t had chicken in a week. She loves chicken. 
:::
Robert checks back in two hours later, having returned from his ‘So You (Temporarily) Have A Feline Roommate’ shopping trip. He’d bought three different cans of food from the shop downstairs earlier (in case the cat was picky), but he knew he’d need a couple more supplies from an actual pet store, if only to avoid any unwanted toilet accidents. Now that he’s back and the litter box has been set up, he walks over to the bedroom and carefully opens the door. 
The bowl was completely cleared off any food, but there were little bits of chicken on the floor around it. A messy eater, then. 
He looks up at the bed. There, right in the middle, lay a small dark form, curled into a tight ball. He wants to take a picture and send it to Aaron. Wants to share in Seb’s excited little squeal as he watches its paw twitch in its sleep. Knows Liv will ask if they can keep the cat, please Robert, as Aaron laughs at him like he already knows the answer. 
He feels something inside him break at not being able to do any of this with his family. But he feels his heart sigh too, at being allowed to finally think of them like this. 
He perches himself on the edge of the bed as the cat wakes up and blinks at him. 
“What did I say about the bed?”
The cat blinks again.
He tries reaching out. This time, he waits as the cat stares his hand down for a few seconds, hyper-alert, before relenting and laying its head back down. He takes that as permission to stroke a finger down between its eyes. 
It doesn’t react. 
That’s a good sign, isn’t it? 
He moves the finger back up to the soft spot behind the cat’s ears. He starts to scratch, but almost stops in shock as the cat unfurls in front of him, stretching its arms out and turning its head back so its chin points up towards him. 
Robert snorts. Finally.
“I’m not keeping you, you know.”
The cat shamelessly pushes its head up against his hand.
It brings up another memory, one he first pushes away on instinct, before allowing back in.
“You remind me of someone,” he tests it out. He hasn’t talked about Aaron since he’d left (not that he has anyone who would care to listen), and Robert feels like what they have– what they had was so big, so unparalleled, so precious, that he can’t allow it to exist in this life. But even that feels like a betrayal of sorts now. What if he pushes and pushes at the memories until they leave him for good?
“Aaron, he–” he stops and starts, words stilted, unpracticed. “You meet him and you think he’s a grump down to his bones, with his mardy face, always yelling at everyone.” He slips into a helpless smile, even as his chin wobbles and his voice cracks open a little at the end. “But he’s a marshmallow, really.” 
It’s a relief, talking about him like that, but it’s edging on too much now. He’s not ready yet to find out what will happen when he unleashes all of Aaron onto this makeshift life of his.
He looks back down at the cat to see it’s fallen back asleep, blissed out on head scratches. 
He smirks. Just like him.
:::
Tall Man keeps saying she can only stay “for a bit, till I figure out how to get rid of you,” but she’s seen him stock the kitchen cabinet with more cat food, and he brought home a rubber ball last night. She knows a lost cause when she sees one.
Apparently, he is having some difficulty finding a no-kill shelter nearby that isn’t already at full capacity. She has no idea what any of that means, but she dutifully listens because Tall Man is also Provider Of Food. 
She hops off the lone chair at the dining table when she hears keys jingle at the front door. She slips between his feet as he walks through the door, rubbing up against his calves and meowing up at him.
“Ff–! Oi! Who’s going to find you a home if I crack my head open, tripping over you?”
Tall Man is also An Idiot.
She flops over on the floor and waits. He steps out of his shoes, and rubs a socked foot down her back as she stretches against the floor. He walks away just as it starts to get good.
“I’ve put up some flyers in the surrounding buildings. Hopefully, someone either recognises you or wants to adopt you.”
They were back to that then. She sulks, walks over to the chair and hops back on, warily observing him read something off his phone. He’s been reading up on cat care—in addition to looking up shelters—and just two days ago, had come up behind her, held her tail up, and stared at her butt, muttering “colon for a boy, semicolon for a girl” to himself. She shudders just thinking about it. 
Tall Man goes to wash her food bowl, complaining about the mess she’s made around it.
“You’re worse than my toddler, you are.”
He talks about his family sometimes. He didn’t really, at the beginning, but it’s happening more often now. He still sounds all choked up when he does, like his voice has forgotten how to work around their names, but he seems determined to get better at it, she thinks. There are moments, though, if he goes on for a little too long about them, where he’ll stop suddenly, looking lost. When that happens, he gets so quiet. Won’t even nag about her tracking litter around. 
She doesn’t know what happened, why he can’t see them, but she now knows about his son, who is “objectively better than other babies I’ve met”, his two little sisters who gave him so much grief, and his Aaron. 
She’d been half asleep the first time he’d mentioned him, but she remembers. She reminded him of this– this Aaron, he’d said. 
Well obviously this was his old cat. And not a very good one, given how saying his name alone could bring him close to tears. He said his name tentatively, quietly, like he’s afraid someone will hear it and take it away from him. And then he’ll go quiet for hours after that. Returning with that haunted, lost look.
She doesn’t much like Aaron. She especially doesn’t like that Tall Man has decided to call her Erin. Like he wants to remember his name without actually having to say it, and she hates it. Hates being named after some other weirdo cat, one who’s ~soooo perfect~, apparently, but still makes her Tall Man cry, and she’s never going to answer to it. 
:::
“Erin?”
No.
“Erin.”
No.
“…Erin, I’ll let you sleep on the bed.”
Fuck’s sake, she hates her life.
She walks into the bedroom, head high, and jumps up onto the bed. Tall Man is laid out on his back, wearing a black hoodie, and looking quite pathetic. 
“Room felt too big.” He smoothes a hand over her head. 
Ah. It’s one of those days. She cuddles up to his side, half on his arm, and waits.
“I just miss him. I miss him so much I feel like i’ll burst from it if I breathe in too deep.” He rubs a finger between her eyes, just like he did that first day. “I thought I’d get to keep it, you now? All of it. I thought it was mine.”
His voice is starting to take on that broken quality, and she noses against his chin. 
“He’s going to hate me for it. And he should. It’ll be better for him if he does, really. But I can’t bear the thought. Not him.”
She can only rub her cheek hard against his chin and whine at the uneven sobs she can feel him bury into her forehead. She may not like Aaron much, but she wants to tell him that he probably doesn’t hate him. Aaron might feel suddenly too small in a too large world built for The Humans, the way she still feels when she remembers screaming for Mama from the back of a van and knowing she couldn’t hear her anymore. And yes, that might make him angry at Tall Man. So angry. But hate? 
She thinks about her afternoons spent watching Mama work from her cat tree, easily accepting the kisses she would press onto her forehead anytime she passed by. And then she thinks about the way Tall Man scratches the base of her tail every time she jumps up onto the kitchen countertop, even as he complains about her germs getting everywhere. 
Aaron won’t hate him. Cats aren’t built like that, she wants to tell him.
She only realises she’s started kneading his chest when she feels herself shift from the weak laugh rumbling under her.
“You’re a sweetheart, aren’t you?”
She sinks a claw in through the hoodie. A clear warning. He laughs again. 
:::
“No,” she hears him say into the phone, long and deliberate, almost spelling out the word. She doesn’t know why he won’t just learn the language. It’s really not that hard. “No cat. No. Bye.” With that, he hangs up and goes to sweep up the litter she’s tracked all over the living room, pausing just long enough on his way, to smack a kiss onto her forehead.
He’s finally caught on, then.
She starts licking her butt, content.
“Erin.”
She looks up. 
He looks back at her, a small, wistful smile etched on. “Aaron would love you.”
She counts to ten, takes deep breaths in and out, and decides she will have to ignore that for his own good. She goes back to her butt.
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